#its so gross it gives me indigestion

[norrkatt]

damn FUCKING GET THEM

How conspiracy theories and anti-vaccine propaganda destroyed one California family. 

Sins of the Father. The latest incredible true story from The Atavist.

#vaccines #sanfrancisco #truecrime #longreads #journalism

[when-jaguars-are-sick]

JAYDEN: Expecting a Miracle

Here's a pool-centric fic, featuring sick Jayden, also starring Colin and Alix as caretakers. I'm so excited to properly introduce *the pool*, one of the most important locations in my stories.

------

“Are you sure you should be going to the pool tonight?”

“Lexi, I’ll be fine. The pool makes everything better.”

“I know, Jay, but if you go to the pool expecting a miracle, it’ll seem less magical. You’re obviously upset about something. Why don’t we have a night in?”

Jayden gives a weary sigh… He’s so not in the mood for arguing. He wants to go swim for an hour, then collapse on his bed and go to sleep.

Alix knows him better than anyone, except maybe Keegan, so it’s no surprise that Alix knows something’s wrong. Alix is right in guessing that he probably shouldn’t go to the pool tonight, but they're wrong in their guess as to why. 

Alix thinks he’s stressed about something, which is fair, since that’s normally true, but tonight it’s not anxiety that’s causing his upset stomach.

It’s just some indigestion, he tells himself, remembering the ham sandwich and coffee he called lunch. He wouldn’t be Jayden if he let a little indigestion keep him away from the pool, though, so he shakes off his discomfort, and plasters on a smile for Alix.

He grabs his bag, all while Alix watches him with one eyebrow raised, trying not to smile at his stubbornness. Leaning over, he quickly kisses Alix good-bye, before heading out the door. As he’s leaving, he hears Alix call after him, “Call me if you need me!”

During the drive to the pool, he rethinks that conversation on loop, ranging from amusement, to frustration. On one hand, he appreciates Alix’s attentiveness, and his concern, but on the other hand, Alix doesn’t seem to trust him to know his body, and that’s bothering him.

By the time he makes it, he’s more than ready for a swim, needing the stress relief it brings.

When he changes into his swim suit, he notices that his stomach is kind of bloated, and he rubs at it gently, feeling it shift under his hand. He grimaces, but brushes it off as another symptom of his indigestion, figuring that a swim will help him start digesting.

Is it just me, or is the deck really warm today, he wonders, feeling a wave of heat wash over him, making him vaguely lightheaded as walks up to the water. He’s starting to wonder if it’s more than indigestion, but he’s too committed to his denial now to consider the alternative.

Shivering, he slips into the water. When it touches his skin, the sudden cold shocks him into alertness. He starts to hope the pool will work its magic and he’ll leave feeling better.

Normally, he would start with a warm-up, before working his way through a more intense endurance swim, and end with a couple sprints, lasting just over an hour. Tonight, he doesn’t do any of that, opting to start with a leisurely swim, hoping he can work off some of the gross feeling in his belly.

 Not even 20 minutes into his swim, he starts to wish he’d stayed on land. He doesn’t get seasick, but he thinks he’s starting to understand what it feels like. The water seems to be fighting him in a way it’s never done before. He feels the swaying of his body in a way that’s unnatural, and his stomach flips with every breath. 

He stops midway through the pool, and stands up, breathing carefully. He feels much steadier with his feet on the ground, the woozy feeling dissolving even as his stomach continues to flip. He frowns in discomfort, walking slowly back to the wall.

He sighs as he realizes that Alix was right, the thought bringing a sheepish smile to his face.

He’s now seriously regretting getting in the water, the small waves lapping at his chest as he reaches the wall mimic the unsettled movements of his insides, and he has to swallow back a burp out of fear that more would come up. 

He clambers out of the pool, making a mad dash for the bathroom. Thankful that he didn’t throw up in the pool, he throws himself to the floor in front of the toilet, leaning over the toilet with a deep belch. It relieves some of the pressure in his stomach, and he thinks for a moment that that might be all.

He leans back on his feet, and takes a deep breath, and when nothing more comes up, he sighs in relief. His stomach clenches, and tosses, pushing up another loud burp.

Normally he would be panicking over his embarrassing sprint to the bathrooms, but his stomach draws all his attention, and though he’ll probably obsess over it later, for now he can’t be bothered.

When nothing more happens, he carefully stands up, and that’s when his stomach decides it’s had enough, and he’s immediately spewing up lunch, and breakfast, and maybe even last night’s dinner.

He groans in pain as more stinging vomit comes surging out of his mouth, landing in the rapidly filling toilet with a splash.

Draping himself over the toilet as he continues to purge his stomach contents, he wishes he’d stayed home with Alix.

One hand laying on the toilet supports his head, and the other clings tight to his writhing stomach.

“Oh my god, are you alright?” a voice asks suddenly from behind Jayden, who belatedly realizes that he never locked the stall door.

“Nnnghh…” he groans in response.

He feels a hand touch his back, and he pulls away, wary of strangers, especially in his vulnerable state. He’s been on the receiving end of such hesitance before, and knows how much it can hurt, so he’s surprised when the man apologizes.

The man, as he leaves, promises to return, and Jayden vacantly wonders why he would come back, when he’s obviously a disaster, still soaking wet from the pool, and puking non-stop.

After a few long minutes, Jayden’s stomach settles enough that he’s no longer actively puking, but he’s tired and embarrassed enough that he stays slumped over the toilet, waiting for a miracle.

Luckily, a miracle is just what he gets, as a familiar voice says “Aw, Jayden, I’m sorry you feel so bad. Let’s get you cleaned up and out of here, huh?”

He slumps further in relief, knowing he’s in good hands. Even so, he feels a slight curl of disappointment, that it’s not Alix. Still, he trusts Colin to get him home.

Colin thanks the lovely person who stopped to help a vomiting stranger, and crouches down next to Jayden, asking “Hey, can I touch you?”

Jayden nods, knowing he needs help to get out of here. Colin peels him away from the toilet, flushing it. Then he grabs Jayden under his arms, heaving him to his feet, where he sways unsteadily for a minute, grabbing onto Colin until the world stops swaying.

Colin drags him to the showers, and quickly helps hose him off, cleaning away chlorine and puke that had settled on his skin.

They move to a bench, and Colin asks for the number of Jayden’s locker, before opening it and wrapping a towel around his shivering friend.

He pulls out Jayden’s phone, handing it to him, who shakily unlocks it and fumbles trying to find his boyfriend’s contact. Colin saves him again, gently taking the phone and calling Alix.

He picks up on the first ring.

“Jayden?”

“It’s Colin. Jayden’s sick.”

“Fuck, I knew something was bothering him.”

“Can you come pick him up?”

“Yeah, of course, I’m on my way.”

Colin sits with Jayden until Alix comes running into the room, frantic. His wide-eyed gaze lands on his wet, pale, shaking boyfriend, then Colin’s worried expression, and he springs into action.

He wraps an arm around Jayden, who sighs instantaneously out of relief, leaning into them. Meanwhile, Colin stands, heading back out the pool deck to check that the other guard is okay. Calling after him, Alix says “Thank you Colin, for looking after my stubborn boyfriend.” Colin laughs, answering “No problem. Hope you feel better!” he adds, addressing Jayden.

Alix pushes Jayden towards the changeroom with his dry clothes, before dragging him to the car. Jayden makes use of the plastic bag Alix hands him, heaving drily into the bag, before producing yet more vomit.

Alix gently places his hand on Jayden’s thigh, trying to watch the road and his boyfriend. As soon as he parks, he hops out of the car, rushing around to the other side, pulling open the door, and he puts his hand on Jayden’s back.

“It’s okay sweetheart, just let it out. You’ll be okay, I’m here now.” Jay finishes with one last mouthful of vomit, spitting harshly a couple times, before breathing heavily and relaxing. Alix pries the bag from his hands, dropping it in a garbage can conveniently placed a few feet away.

Jayden is almost asleep where he sits, and Alix knows he’s not going to be able to support his semi-conscious taller boyfriend up the stairs.

Keegan comes hurrying outside after receiving Alix’s text asking for help, and together they get Jayden upstairs, and into bed, where he collapses, having finally emptied his belly, and made it home with his boyfriend.

Alix changes into some pajamas, before laying down next to Jay.

He whispers “Maybe now you’ll believe me next time, huh, sweetheart?”

Jayden hums in agreement, before muttering “I’m so lucky Colin was there. Sorry I didn’t listen, Lexi.”

Alix rolls his eyes in response, knowing that it will happen again because Jayden’s just too stubborn for his own good, but relieved to have him home and feeling better nonetheless.

Alix kisses the back of his head, and Jayden falls asleep with a gentle little smile on his face, Alix soon following.

[theadventurerslog]

The Curse of Monkey Island | Part 9

Long gap here, sorry. Last time I ended, it was time to explore a new area of the island to find out what was going on with the volcano and generally get more stuff I'd need, and right away I was met with a feast, but no people.

I was able to grab a mug, auger and a big block of tofu: what every adventurer needs.

Then I carried on through the arch toward the volcano to meet a man in a lemon mask.

It's Lemon Head.

He was part of the Monkey Island cannibals who Guybrush had met back in The Secret of Monkey Island. They moved away after the carnival settled onto the island. Constant noise and tourists, go to where a cannibal felt unsafe to walk alone. And pretty sure the midway games were rigged. So they moved here.

They also don't eat people anymore.

They underwent a 'paradigm shift in their belief system' several years back. There are several replies to this but one that is always irresistible.

"Pair of dimes?"

The associated protesting text changes every time you hover over that option. How could you not choose it?

Aside from irritating Lemonhead--always fun minus the threats to eat me--the main point of interest here is the volcano. When they first arrived the volcano, Mt. Acidophilus, was regularly erupting, belching up lava, gross. They tried all kinds of sacrifices to try to appease Sherman the Volcano God until one day they tried brie and thing got real bad. Sherman is lactose intolerant and seems to have a very touchy stomach in general--fatty foods can give terrible indigestion too. So they have him on a strict diet of fruits and vegetables.

Another ritual offering was about to happen but they were waiting for an emissary from another village who is very late now, but had better be a vegetarian and non-cannibals are forbidden from witnessing it.

I needed a way to see their ceremony and they were waiting for their vegetarian emissary.

Tofu time!

The chisel or the auger can be used on the block of tofu to make a mask, which you then put on for the glory of a giant block of tofu over Guybrush's head.

"Ick."

But it worked and I was allowed into the ceremony.

"God of the Volcano who resides in Mount Acidophilous... Accept this sacrifice we make unto you... in the form of flesh with high amounts of fiber and wholesome cellulose... free of all fat and trans-fatty acids... so that it might nourish you and bring your favor upon our humble village... and not upset nor agitate your Ulcertive Caldera... Okay boys... toss 'im in! You've been a wonderful audience! Thank you and good night!"

Then they hang out roasting marshmallows and I was free to do things.

I'm sorry for this, Sherman. I tossed a bit of the nacho cheese into the volcano.

"You fool! You've given cheese to a lactose intolerant volcano god! Do you know what that means? You've brought about the Coming of the Divine Dysentery!"

Yeah... as a fellow in lactose intolerance, I'm sorry, buddy, but you gotta do what you gotta do.

The volcano erupted.

And that got the lava flowing under the barbecue at the hotel.

And now there's just lava running through its paths on Blood Island and it is cool looking!

Goodsoup, was of course thrilled and the tourists will come pouring back.

It was time for me to get that tar replacement for Haggis.

I dumped my cheese into the pot and once melted it looked like just like yellow tar. Guybrush dragged it back and Haggis approved: "The consistency of tar... but with a tangy pepper taste!"

And I got the slippery greasy hand lotion.

We were told by Goodsoup that there used to be a ferry that crossed over to Skull Island where a diamond could be found, but it stopped coming after the lighthouse went out.

I had the mirror I took from the hotel, so I went back to the lighthouse to put that back in place.

I still needed a light source.

I'm not sure if I remembered to mention getting the tip jar from the hotel, but it was something I was able to grab once Goodsoup was cure of his hangover--Guybrush was totally taking it to fill it with tips. There were also fireflies in the clearing where Elaine is, so that's light, but they were going to enter an empty jar.

There was a barrel of sugar water at the windmill. The door was still locked. Umbrella to the rescue.

I used it to hook onto one of the windmill blades and was carried to the top where the barrel was. I filled the jar with sugar water and was able to walk back down.

With the jar of sugar water I was able to catch some fireflies.

There are two mistakes that can be made with the fireflies: no putting the lid on the jar, so they simply leave again, or not poking holes in the lid (chisel again! or auger) before putting it on and then they die...

While I was there anyway, I used the hand lotion to get the ring off Elaine's finger. The cursed ring explodes into nothing and now I just needed the complete diamond ring.

I brought the light back to the lighhouse and with a mirror and fireflies the restoration was complete.

I returned to the little beach bay area to meet The Lost Welshman.

He was, well, lost out in the mist and refused to make a return trip to Skull Island without a compass.

If a reminder is needed the encyclopedia was one of the items that was kept from Puerto Pollo with the still legible entry:

"A compass is a magnetized bit of metal, floating in a solution."

I needed to make a compass which I had all the materials for:

Fill cup with the sea water Use Big Whoop magnet with the needle to magnetize it Stick the magnetized needle in the cork Put the needle cork in the mug o' water.

One working compass and good enough for The Lost Welshman.

He sailed me over to the dread Skull Island...

"Even the bravest of men must dread the horror of this place. Steel your courage boy! Now! Before you gaze upon the terrible, horrible face of... SKULL ISLAND!"

A very dramatic scene to which Guybrush can only exclaim, "That's a duck! It looks like a great big, enormous duck! It should be called Duck Island!"

The Lost Welshman says you need to squint and turn your head a bit and oohhh so scary.

Guybrush: "If you squint and turn your head it looks like a bunny."

This exchange lives in my head.

Anyway, the not-so-scariness of this island aside, he did warn us to beware of King Andre, the greatest smuggler in the world. He runs the smuggling ring here and is as ruthless as he is bald. They make their home in the glowing cave that could be seen from the shore.

Little bit of story-time. My memory is a bit fuzzy on this, but from what I can recall I had caught a brief look of and heard a bit of the The Lost Welshman when my parents were playing. Then also at around that time dad had, but in a hard to tell if he was being serious, sort of ominous, sort of joking sort of way, had made a comment about Guybrush dying, gasp.

I have no idea how far I'd seen into the game at this point, but definitely hadn't gotten to the fake death of spiked hangover cure. I was probably still back at Puerto Pollo. Regardless, dark, very death-like ominous figure plus that comment stuck with me, and very reasonably, I expected them to be connected!

It wasn't a letdown per se, but you can imagine my surprise when I did eventually reach this point and was met with this life-jacketed, sandwich eating, bit cranky but okay fellow and he simply took me to Skull Island while the 'death' wasn't a death after all. I suppose don't judge a book by a barely seen cover? It's some misunderstanding that has stuck with me ever since.

Anyhoo, I needed a way to get into the smuggler's cave and the only was up to cliffs at the top, where I found a man, LaFoot, and a dumbwaiter.

Beautiful view up there.

LaFoot was only filling in for someone else and didn't exactly know what he was doing but offered to let me use the dumbwaiter despite how rickety it seemed and not being built for much. It wasn't like there were many options though, so it was time to take the plunge.

Literally.

While Guybrush falls there's the opportunity to use items, or let him fall all the way down to the rocks, but he's fiiine, lovable cartoon character and all. To get down safely you need to use the umbrella while plummeting which will let him float gently down to the smuggler's cave entrance.

Where I met King Andre and his assistant, Cruff.

Andre is voiced by Dave Fennoy who also voiced the pawn shoppe owner in King's Quest VI. As I recall I commented then that he'd voiced someone in this game, and here he is. And Danny Delk, who voices Murray, was King Otar in King's Quest VII.

They have a whole James Bond villain type exchange culminating in Guybrush asking if he expects him to talk and

"No, Mister Threepwood! I expect you to buy!"

And

"Is it madness to sit in a cave at the top of a deserted island accumulating vast amounts of gold and jewels and stuffed animals... stockpiling plunder from across the entire Caribbean and passing the savings on to you? Is that madness? Or GENIUS?!?"

All through the conversation options, periodically LaFoot would open the door to say various things and get yelled at for letting the wind in and risking the candles blowing out.

Then we got down to business and I had the chance to ask about merchandise which opens up a completely optional fun item.

I got a little LeChuckie doll toy. He paces back and forth spouting off the usual sort of cutesy toy sayings before ending each round with something threatening and nasty. It's great.

And he was aaall mine. "I'll be haunting ye into the hereafter!"

Then we got down to business. I needed to buy the diamond and I had a whole lotta money. Unfortunately, he wanted an awful lot of money. However, he and Cruff are fond of poker and were willing to play a hand for the diamond.

You do need to have some money for the buy in and that where the whole lotta money from the life insurance comes in.

Once started you're given a pretty crappy hand: two of spades, three of hearts, four of clubs, eight of clubs and king of diamonds. You can keep losing and keep trying with the cards getting sillier and sillier. You can also add some card like things to your hand as well resulting in things like "a squadron of demon-trolls, a High Priestess of Darkness... and, uh, Stan, Lord High King of Life Insurance Needs."

Ultimately though, it was time to win with a five of a kind: the five death tarot cards. Even they couldn't beat five of a kind. ....But could Guybrush beat a pair? A pair of murderous smugglers?

As things started to look bad, LaFoot opened the door again letting in a gust of wind and blew out the candles. Chaos ensued. Andre and Cruff tried to attack Guybrush but it was too dark to see what they were doing and they ended up fighting each other instead.

Guybrush made his escape and got back to the ferryman, though he had one last thing to do before leaving which was dropping LaFoot down the dumbwaiter... Bit of grudge holding there. I'm sure LaFoot was fine too...

Once back on Blood Island the Ferryman decided it was time to pursue other opportunities. He heard there was still an opening for a chef on Scabb island (another Monkey Island 2 throwback) and sails off. Except, oops, Guybrush forgot to tell him the magnetized pin would only hold its compass-like properties for a short time. Oops. Oh well!

And with another task complete it was time for another scene at Monkey Island which opens on a roller coaster through the giant monkey head.

The riders are plunged into lava, coming out as skeletons on the other end, more recruits for LeChuck's undead army.

And we see Dinghy Dog reporting to LeChuck that he's found them! They're on Blood Island.

Not looking good for Guybrush and Elaine and next time we'll see how that goes.

[libidomechanica]

A livelier emeralds break from brows

I can’t tell where its direction.     ‘No, no, I never known. Where, ’ asked Walter, patting Lilias—     played charades and riddles as at Christmas here, and wins     even by a delicate dissent. Shall eat thy thyrse and     horseman, came as comes alone,

whilest my weak powres are     but water: and would do nothing but to show what Fortune’s     bastard be unfather’d’ as subject of that my wit cannot     hold me back my childhood in this, she would do that she     will die. Like other side.

Little avails that love me. But     when a light of the sky, yet, I will give a grand politics;     they love us for it, but wonder. They made him down:     it is but in your bosome fraught with me and whole; and     entremets’ to piddle with

sighes and sail in the clock for     you Remember sleepy vigour of the dawn. I never     did see, vertues be, who, while I am striving how fleet     ’twas on the double bright throng of younger friends should be ashamed     of such glass, a lovely

being, scarce saw which Drachenfels     frowns over like her tears as the golden apples rose,     and with me he fought, of a crowd of workmen and dream and     trust in all exercise of noble words; and indigestion.     Blew, and rising fairy

lights increse with the addition     of your life in the liquid lay: but I will join my     tears rather blended, the marks were sealed. If people do when     left alone, what nedeth feyned loves for to arryue, fayre when     the famous moniment.

Most happy name was first draught of     lips: but, as I said, nor blame too much the skirt and fringe of     our set, five others: we were pushed by sun. Readings for sophomore     girls. May breathe himself, and shoutèd and lain in the hall     flowers do fade and wanton

and last, to them as he that     out of her selfe. A livelier emeralds break from brows     as pale it lay the guests were waxing rather there are now     on Shooter’s Hill! The reflex yours shall to you of her. Blow     which is especially

upon a sphere too gross to tread,     and there unshaken, clinging to go, vntill by your vessel     drove before abhorred. Of all mortality, who less could     deceive. Subsiding soul transpires at every pore with     life and sence, that, wholly

scorned of all, and floats the mind. So     doe I hope ere long for the sage Minerva than the sigh     d for beauty in disgraces, and gazed upon the skirt     and free from presence in wide Corinth’s voice. Pardon mine arm,     most sorts of men doe set

but little ones leapèd and shipwreck     with my jealous grown of so complete and red, with immediate     reference worse for the death her huge bright with him to     one grand mess or marriage into a shallow rivers, in     the afternoon, like a

girl’s bright, tis time that all her words     so blind. Our daysleep, my love has closed with Tyranny which     Thee enriches at thy Subject bound on either. With none     other pageants play, and whence came, and thither half the neighbour’s     ear; and their genius

stand rebuked, like virtue; and to     Tyrian, for I so truly thee bemoan that all the rest     complaining page than all the true cause and smile as thou art     from the firbloome, but then this verse, and novice in delight,     as were his only care,

and take as true, it rauisht quite a     booty; a second health in wine, who as yet thought can spel,     wil soone conceiue the king that ever lov’d at such as once or     twice to smile, a medicines double meaning with the middle     of my good old aunt,

not practised in vain the     impatient to a moral man was Werther, and for you, gentle     brest that to the silver planet in her proper sphere:     that would live there is not fair, nor flattered at this fair ynough,     hire browe browne, hire yën

blake; with lossum cheere heo on me     lough; with middel smal and welaway, a proud hart doe thou     art all my dreams. Then she went to Tauris, was given to     deuoure the fourth we heard the drowsy waked; and, as his     And breeze from end to end.

[trashytummiez]

Ahhh I love your writing!! Could you possibly write something with burpy Dabi getting carsick and getting his belly rubbed by someone to help out?

Warning: contains belly kink burps fluff hiccups indigestion nausea near-vomiting tummy rubs

"Dabi stop being gross!" Toga complained with a pout after hearing Dabi let out yet another wet burp. Probably the fifth or six one he couldn't hold in during that entire car ride.

The scarred villain groaned and held his churning stomach painfully while keeping his other hand rested against his mouth. He looked miserably nauseous. Dabi hated riding in cars more than most things in life. It always made him absolutely sick to his stomach even if his stomach was empty like it was right now.

"Unnngh...tell that fuckin' purse to stop drivin' like a blind old lady," Dabi grumbled so groggily he sounded like he was on the verge of puking with every syllable.

"Hey it's not my fault the driving mechanics in GTA suck! It was the only teacher I could afford!" Spinner shouted from the drivers seat.

"Will both of you shut up?" Shigaraki said from the passenger seat whilst playing a game on his portable console.

Dabi's response was a thick burp that managed to force its way past his lips and past his clutched hand. It ended in a strained groan.

"Dude if you're gonna puke just do it already and stop bitching."

"Wha-no?! No don't vomit at all dammit!!" Mr Compress shouted from the backseat. He fidgeted uncomfortably and inched as far away from dabi as he could. "You know I don't do well around that sort of thing! If he loses it I'm going to lose my own lunch!"

Toga frowned and glared back at Shigaraki. "If they puke on me then I'm stabbing you in the eye Tomura..."

Shigaraki shrugged indifferently.

Suddenly Twice raised his hand like a child eager to answer a question he knew the answer to. "OOoh! I know! Lemme rub your tummy until you feel better! Punch him in the gut!!" Twice expressed eagerly until his contrarian personality kicked in.

Dabi groaned both from his aching belly and from Twice's childish exuberance. "...You ain't-" he paused to burp heavily in his mouth, "...touchin' me."

"C'moooooon! I'll be gentle! Honest!" Twice assured him in his happy go-lucky sort of way. "I'll thrash your belly like a soda can!" Then immediately unassured him.

Dabi looked like he wanted to die...and probably take everyone in the van with him. But with a dejected sigh he leaned back and made his stomach stick out when he arched his back. "...Get this bullshit over with."

Twice squealed and clapped happily then growled angrily at himself. He scooted right up against Dabi and slid his hands under Dabi's shirt to place them on his incredibly warm and slightly puffed out tummy. It gurgled unpleasantly that Twice cringed slightly behind his mask.

"Wow it's rough in there!" Twice noted. "Pansy!"

"Shut up'n rub..." Dabi almost growled his patience nonexistent.

Twice did just that. He gently rubbed his hands up and down Dabi's belly using the heel of his palm to knead circles into his tight aching flesh. For all his silliness and contradictions Twice's movement was very precise and careful. His fingers very gently slid across Dabi's stomach fluttering across the surface in a deeply sensual and relaxing way while being careful not to get too rough around his upper stomach where his burnt flesh and stitches were.

Dabi's eyes were rested shut to mask them rolling to the back of his head with relaxation. His tensed body seemed to relax incredibly in response to Twice's ministrations.

"....Hoooohhh shit...that's...that doesn't feel terrible..." Dabi admitted in a euphoric tone of voice.

Twice beamed proudly behind his mask and continued rubbing.

Toga d'awwwed at the scene while even Mr. Compress couldn't help but smile behind his own strange mask proud of seeing Twice earn some praise. And from Dabi of all people.

Twice rubbed circles into the middle of Dabi's stomach brushing his palm against Dabi's belly button while his fingers kneaded slightly into his firm gurgling skin.

The stimulation was enough to get Dabi to turn his head with his fist against his mouth in time for him to give a really deep closed mouth burp that rumbled in his cheeks for a few seconds. Dabi looked visible strained then burped in his mouth again even longer and harder.

"Tomuraaaaaa! Dabi's being gross again!" Toga whined literally as Shigaraki had just finished taking a swig from his can of soda.

The only response she got was Shigaraki burping loudly and indifferently then smacking his lips unapologetically. Toga frowned while Mr. Compress shook his head dismayed by the crudeness of their boss.

"Dude I'm trying to drive!" Spinner whined and rang out his earhole.

"Try sucking less at it," Shigaraki replied never taking his eyes off of his game.

"...Seriously..." Dabi groaned then hiccuped sharply. He hiccuped again then burped so hard in his mouth he immediately clamped his mouth shut. "...Fuck. Somethin' definitely came up with that one..." he mumbled behind his hand.

Twice frowned behind his mask. "Do you want me to stop?"

Dabi waited and kept his hand clamped over his mouth. He shook his head at Twice but still looked really sickly. For a second it looked like he was going to blow which made both Toga and Compress inch back nervously...Toga even pointing her knife defensively at Dabi like a hiker trying to defend against an approaching bear.

His stomach gurgled loudly enough that even Shigaraki looked over his shoulder to see if Dabi was about to spew.

Fortunately instead Dabi's hand blew back as he let out a big throaty burp that left him huffing breathlessly and the others sighing with relief. Shigaraki shook his head like he got ripped off then went back to playing his game.

"...Unnf...nah, you're good Jin. It's just kinda workin' some shit up. You're doin' just fine so...don't stop..." Dabi said. He ordered Twice to keep going but the way he said it implied an unspoken 'please?' at the end of his sentence.

Twice smiled anew when he heard that and kept going. He gingerly rubbed Dabi's noisily churning tummy with both hands while Dabi groaned and savored the relaxing sensation the entire ride on.

It was going to be a long drive and even through the belly rubs Dabi's stomach was still volatile. It would churn intensely and make Dabi burp frequently sometimes burping so hard he worried something would come up with the sterile gas. But the fact that Twice was able to satisfy the others by settling Dabi's stomach filled him with an immense joy. Nothing mattered more to the fractured villain than making his friends happy in any way he could.

...The fact that he got to indulge in his secret tummy kink didn't hurt either...

[archadianskies]

croissant aux amandes

→ on Ao3

@dbhrarepairs​ Saturday Day 6: Meet the Family •  Reverse AU; Mob AU RK900/Simon

Ronan supposes he should be thankful his mother is keeping this particular meeting just between them. He’d rather be uncomfortable in private than openly humiliated though he thinks there’s a degree of humiliation regardless.

“We could do with a connection to the DPD,” Amanda swipes up on her tablet and the screen fills with a detailed profile. “Gavin Reed, former detective, freshly made Lieutenant as of two months ago. Negligible age gap, questionable morals but gets the job done. He likes cats, which is in your favour.”

“With all due respect, mother,” Ronan makes a face, “I’d rather be disowned.”

“Duly noted,” she nods, swiping a new profile onto the screen. “David Allen is your senior by thirteen years, Captain of SWAT Unit 32 and wields immense influence. His team is loyal to him, and he is known to be a kind, honorable man. He likes dogs which isn’t to your favour, though he is not against cats.”

Ronan studies the profile for a few moments- it wouldn’t be a bad match but it still didn’t feel right. “Perhaps in another life?”

“I will put Captain Allen as a ‘maybe’,” Amanda notes. “If not the DPD, then we could accept Carl Manfred’s offer.” The screen populates with a new profile, lengthier and more detailed. “Markus Manfred is an excellent candidate: no age gap, powerful family, powerful connections. Kind, thoughtful, charitable, and very well educated. Not sure where he stands about cats, but he’d be cordial about it I’m sure.”

“I find the older brother far more tolerable company,” Ronan scoffs, turning away.

“Leo?” Amanda says incredulously. “Leo Manfred has nothing to offer, that son squandered his inheritance and spent half a decade high on red ice, disgracing his family.”

“He’s gotten clean and is redeeming himself. He’d be a far better companion than his pretentious, insufferable -”

“Enough,” his mother commands, and Ronan cuts himself off. “There is of course Elijah Kamski, since he is unmarried and of similar age to his cousin Reed. We already have the Kamski connection through your brother, though.”

He tries again. “Are they the only options?”

“They are the best options we have researched,” Amanda turns the screen off. “There are female candidates as a backup but you said you prefer men so these are the male candidates. The gender is of course irrelevant; your fiance must be the one who brings the most to the table.”

“Mother,” Ronan sighs miserably, and Amanda sits beside him. She rests her hand over his, and knowing she is not an overly physically affectionate person only makes the gesture more meaningful. 

“You have submitted no candidates yourself, Ronan, these men are just the ones my team have found,” she reminds him carefully. “I want you to be happy with your choice, whether it be genuine affection, or an amicable arrangement like your brother.”

He knows it could be worse. He knows she could force an arrangement and there would be nothing he could do about it. The Stern family controls this city and it isn’t out of character for his mother to want an advantageous match now he’s turned thirty and declared no intentions to marry yet. It is a kindness, doing all this for him when he has been dragging his feet the past year, knowing this was to come. 

“I can postpone the luncheon, if you would like more time,” she says gently, squeezing his hand. 

“I’ll have an answer by then, I promise,” Ronan vows, because he does not want to disappoint her and delaying it will only prolong this particular brand of suffering. 

 *

Connor finds him under his favourite tree by the pond, and Ronan scoots over to make room on the blanket.

“That bad huh?” His older brother teases, though his smile is apologetic.

“It wasn’t...bad,” he concedes with a wince, “just awkward. And uncomfortable. She suggested Reed at the DPD.”

“Oh, yikes!” Connor laughs and Ronan manages a brief smile. His expression softens as he shifts to wrap an arm around Ronan’s shoulders. “Hey, it doesn’t have to be The One, you know? I don’t- I’m not... inclined romantically or sexually. Chloe is a wonderful friend, and I treasure her company. Our marriage provides her power and influence and security, and safety to nurture her relationship with North under the guise of a bodyguard.”

“You are...happy?” Ronan asks curiously, and Connor smiles.

“I’m very happy,” he nods. “It might not be romantic love, but there’s love in our friendship. You can have that too, brother, if you want.”

 *

It’s a lot to think about. It’s too much to think about, really, and so after too many hours of being stuck in his own head, Ronan escapes to his favourite spot in the whole city: Jericho. 

The cafe is somehow in the heart of town but so hidden it feels like stepping into an entirely different world, and he’s been escaping to its bare brick walls and cosy interior for years now. It’s owned by the Lambert twins, Daniel and Simon. Though the older twin is abrasive and curt, the younger is shy and gentle and always has time for Ronan.

“You look like you’ve had quite the day,” Simon laughs, already reaching for a mug and starting to make him coffee. “Take a seat, I saved an almond croissant for you.”

“You’re an angel, thank you,” Ronan takes the corner booth and watches as Simon goes through the familiar, well practiced motions. It’s close to closing and there’s only one other patron, so Simon decides to sit opposite him with his own mug of coffee.

“What’s got you looking like you’re carrying the whole world on your shoulders, hm?” The blond prods, and Ronan delays answering in favour of sipping the perfectly brewed mug of coffee in his hands. 

“My mother was being a little...overbearing this morning,” Ronan says hesitantly, leaving out the big details. “With the best of intentions, of course. She means well, but I still feel like I’m being slowly backed into a corner.” 

“I’m sorry to hear that, it must be difficult,” Simon frowns empathetically, earnestly, because he is a good and kind friend. Ronan thinks if he weren’t the son of a crime family, he would marry Simon. 

They would have a soft, quiet life full of love and be entirely uneventful and Ronan would manage the business side of things for the cafe so Simon would never have to worry. Maybe they could adopt a cat or two. He wouldn’t even mind a dog, honestly. He’s partial to german shepherds. 

But that’s never going to happen, and it’s with a sinking feeling Ronan realises once he marries he may have to cut ties with Simon completely as he takes on more and more of their family’s work in the criminal underworld. 

“I… am to be married,” he says no louder than a whisper but Simon hears it, Simon’s lovely blue eyes widen at those words. “Well, in the future I mean. My mother is trying to matchmake me with- with certain friends’ sons.”

“In 2038?” Simon asks in disbelief. “Your mother is trying to matchmake you in the year 2038?”

“She means well,” Ronan repeats, sighing tiredly. “She just wants me to marry ‘the one who brings the most to the table’.” He echoes her words with the same regal air and Simon laughs though not unkindly.

“Sounds intense.”

“I have a luncheon next weekend with all of our extended family and friends, and she expects me to announce an answer then.” He picks at the almond croissant, and it’s as perfect as always- buttery, flaky and fresh. The layers are light, the almond slivers paper thin, and the sweetness just right. It feels like a last supper, knowing he probably won’t be able to return. He’d never want to drag Simon into his world of blood. 

 *~*

Danny arrives in time to help him sweep and mop up. His brother is a warm, comforting presence in his peripheral, and Simon soaks it up like warmth from a blanket.

“Saw one of those supervillain black cars the Sterns use on the way here, was it Ronan again?” Danny asks as they’re putting the mops away. “You know he’s getting engaged next weekend, right?”

“How did you know that?” Simon blinks in surprise as he hangs up his apron.

“Leo told me,” Danny shrugs. “The old man said he’s pushing for Markus to marry him.”

“Oh,” Simon tries not to sound so disappointed, and he’s not even sure what for- that Markus is to be married, or that Ronan is the one marrying him. 

“Yeah, I know right? Ugh, gross,” his twin makes a disgusted face. “Poor Ronan, imagine having to marry Mr Perfect and run the criminal underworld.”

“They’re a respectable family!” Simon argues, feeling a twinge of indignant anger on Ronan’s behalf. “The Sterns have transformed the educational landscape of the city- Kara was able to open a kindergarten because of their philanthropy! Imagine having that influence- I’d- I’d completely revamp child services and open shelters and proper mental health centers for abused children and adolescents. I’d make sure no one ever had to go through what we went through.”

“You sweet sweet child,” Danny snorts back a laugh, though it isn’t mocking in the least. “They’re a necessary evil for this city because the senator is an incompetent but dangerous fuckwit. Don’t get me wrong, I like them- they get things done. It’s just the thought of the Manfreds joining that circle that gives me bad indigestion.”

“Markus Manfred is- he’s an amazing man, Danny. Ronan and he would be perfectly matched,” Simon chews his lip, feeling his chest ache. “He certainly would bring the most to the table.”

“What?”

“Oh, it’s just something Ronan said,” Simon flashes an apologetic smile. “He said he has to marry ‘the one who brings the most to the table’.”

“Brings the most to the table ,” Danny repeats, stressing the start and end of the sentence. Simon looks at him, eyes wide. “You don’t think-”

“Oh I do think,” his brother’s grin falters slightly, “But only if you want to, Simon. It’s a pretty crazy idea and uh, we might mysteriously disappear only for our bodies to be found in an underpass somewhere in a couple of weeks.”

It’s a ridiculously crazy idea, Simon knows this for a fact, but it’s so crazy it might just work.

* 

The Stern estate is beautiful, even from the other side of the huge wrought-iron gates. 

“You boys must be lost,” a guard drawls, sauntering over to the driver’s side. “Best you head back down the driveway and forget you ever came this way.”

“We're catering for the luncheon you dumbass,” Danny rolls his eyes. “So best you step aside and let us through so we can set up.”

The guard falters, frowning heavily. “There’s no mention of-” he looks at the side of the delivery van, “Jericho Cafe on the guest list.”

“Because we’re not guests,” Simon tries to mimic Danny’s impatient, snappy tone. “We’re catering for the guests.”

“Hey, listen, honest mistake,” Danny shakes his head. “No harm done. Let us in and we’ll do our job and you can do yours.”

“I-I’ll run it by the boss,” the guard fumbles for his phone.

“Ask Ronan,” Simon says firmly. “He’s the one who booked us, not- not the boss.”

The stretch of time as they wait for an answer feels like an eternity, like Simon is awaiting sentencing where the outcome could very well be execution. Is he signing his own hit? Is dragging his twin into this the worst mistake of his life?

“Alright, sorry about that,” the guard apologises, pocketing his phone and waving at someone up ahead. The gates part, and Simon doesn’t know whether to feel relieved or even more fear. “Go on through, the service entrance is on the right-hand side.”

“Thanks buddy,” Danny salutes lazily before driving through the now opened gates. He’s gripping the steering wheel so tightly his knuckles are white.

“Danny-”

“No, shut up, we’re doing this. He ran it by Ronan and Ronan okayed us to come through,” Danny exhales slowly as he brings the van to the service entrance. A couple of confused kitchen staff come out to see them. 

“Alright,” Simon swallows thickly. “We’re doing this.”

* 

They unload and designate whole delivery trays laden with baked goods to be carried by the staff. Simon leads the way, trying to will his hands not to shake as he carries the feast he and Danny spent all yesterday prepping for, and all this morning from the crack of dawn baking so it would be as fresh as fresh can be for this very moment. 

He enters the dining room and there is Amanda Stern, matriarch of the Stern family. There is Ronan Stern, handsome as can be in a sharp tailored suit, and beside him are a couple- his brother Connor Stern, given the resemblance, and a lovely blonde lady in a periwinkle blue dress.

“Simon-”

“Madam, I have come to ask for your son’s hand in marriage,” Simon commends his voice for not trembling as he sets down the tray on the long dining table. Behind him, Daniel places his tray down and soon the staff follow, more and more until the table is absolutely brimming with food. “This is what I bring to the table.”

Amanda looks at him, expression unreadable and Simon thinks oh, he’s absolutely about to be executed. “You’re the Lambert boy,” she looks him over as if taking him apart atom by atom. “That cafe in Capitol Park.” “Yes ma’am,” Simon nods, clasping his hands behind his back so she won’t see how badly he’s shaking now he isn’t holding anything. She turns her eyes to the spread on the table.

“What is Ronan’s favourite?”

“The almond croissants,” Simon answers immediately, gesturing at them. Amanda nods and he picks one up using a pair of tongs, serving it to her on one of the bread plates. He risks a glance at Ronan who still seems frozen in shock, and it’s as if everyone is waiting with baited breath as Amanda bites into the croissant. Chewing thoughtfully, she sets the plate down and looks over at him. 

“I prefer blueberry danishes, but I can see why he likes these,” she’s smiling now, an amused matronly smile. “Is he your chosen fiance, Ronan?”

“If he would have me,” Ronan replies softly, reaching for Simon’s hands. “If a life with me is what he wants.”

“Yes,” Simon smiles, “I do.”

~*~*~

{ Inspired by [this tumblr post] about the intricacies and formalities of the 'Bride Price'.}

[persephonesfill]

choke on me—chapter four

breathe me in (prequel fic)

chapter three

chapter five

a/n: this is a pretty chill chapter, and chapter five is going to be the exact opposite so have fun with this one while you can ;)  also for my bilingual readers, if i have any, please excuse my shitty Italian in this chapter, i'm literally just working off of google translate

rating: pretty gen...this time

warning(s): n/a

—————

Carmen couldn't have picked a better day for a carnival; It's not too hot out for it to be August nonetheless. A slight breeze ruffles Tony's ungelled hair, sending his bangs into his eyes. He smooths the hair back with a huff. So much for keeping it casual today. His brief irritation dissipates when he looks, truly looks, at his surroundings. 

The scent of cotton candy and funnel cake and something smoky, no doubt barbecue, carries on the wind. There are two long lines of booths, rides, and rest places alike stretching for a good yard. The other volunteers are zooming about, dressed in bright red tees like the Avengers, finishing up last-minute preparations. 

"She doesn't half-ass anything, huh?" Clint says. He sounds impressed and…a little excited. Tony can't lie...he's excited too.

"I'll say," Steve says, and there's no hiding the awe in his voice. "I can't believe some of these rides even exist." 

Out the corner of his eye, Tony sees Thor lean down to whisper something in Bruce's ear, blue eyes dancing. Whatever he said makes Bruce laugh, a real one, not the sharp little chuckle that's usually full of self-loathing or sarcasm or both. 

They're off to a good start. Even Natasha looks pleased, or as pleased as she can be, with her arms crossed in front of her. She's taking in their surroundings too, but Tony knows that a part of her isn't doing it for fun. She's looking for enemies, escape routes, any possible threats to her and the others. 

"You can take an agent out of the field," he thinks. He hopes that maybe she'll loosen up by the end of the day, preferably without anyone getting hurt. 

"Where's Solomita?" she asks. "I want to know what we’re doing.”

"I know where she is," Tony says and leads the way, picking out Carmen's chirpy voice, throwing out orders and praise with a megaphone, Jesus Christ. 

"Make sure you're at your booths in ten minutes! The kids are going to be arriving soon!" 

She's crossing things off on her clipboard when Tony and the Avengers following behind him pull up in front of her. 

She hasn't changed a bit since Tony's last seen her. She's still tan, still short, shorter than Tony. Her dark wavy hair is pulled back into what she used to call her "business braid" for when she had "shit that needs to be done." 

Tony clears his throat, and Carmen looks up, her big brown eyes going wide before a grin breaks across her face and—

Carmen pounces on him, full-on throwing her arms around Tony's neck. Tony catches her no problem and—Carmen's mood is so infectious—gives her a little twirl before setting her down.

"Jesus Christ," Clint says under his breath. "She almost took him out." 

"Did not," Carmen says, and Clint has the good sense to look bashful. "This is normal for us. Especially when someone hasn't reached out in two. Years," she says, slapping Tony on the arm twice for emphasis. 

"Ouch," he says, rubbing his arm. "I've been busy."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Save the world a few times, and suddenly you have no time for your friends," she says, grinning, so Tony knows she's joking. She turns to the Avengers, who've all been standing there awkwardly like they're the new kids in school. 

"All jokes aside, I'm thankful for you guys, all of you," she says. "Who knows where we'd be without the Avengers." She sticks out her hand for them to shake and for a split second, nobody moves. Maybe it was the genuine gratitude in Carmen's voice, or the others were still trying to process Carmen's everything, but the smile on her face starts to waver at their hesitation.

Steve is the first to act, taking Carmen's hand in his own. "Thank you, ma'am," he says. "I know I speak for everyone when I say that we're glad the team exists, and we'll help out any way we can." 

"Thank you," Tony mouths to him, and Steve gives him a slight nod, letting go of Carmen's hand.

Thor steps up next and, in true princely fashion, bows, bringing Carmen's hand to his lips, pressing a kiss to the back of her palm. "A pleasure to be here, my lady," Thor says.

Carmen's face is red when Thor straightens back up, releasing her hand. After that, it's like the others shift into gear. Clint apologizes for his comment. Bruce offers her a kind hello until it's just Natasha who steps up until she's right in front of Carmen. Even though they're the same height, Carmen stiffens up, looking at Natasha like she's about to get chastised. 

Natasha simply...sticks out her hand. "It’s nice to meet you,” she begins.

Carmen takes Natasha’s hand slowly like she’s expecting some trick. 

“I’m actually a fan,” Natasha says. “I saw your work this February while undercover. Very nice.” 

"Thank you," Carmen says. If she blushes anymore, Tony’s going to start worrying about her health. "I was actually inspired by your suit. The leather and the bodycon silhouette paired well with Fall and Winter." 

"Oh, really?" Natasha says, raising her brows. Natasha looks her up and down, and Carmen, much to her credit, holds her gaze. "I have ideas for your spring collection if you'd like to hear them." 

And just like that, the Avengers have won Carmen over forever. And Tony didn't even have to make any threats. Maybe today won't be a disaster after all.

"Yes, please," Carmen says, her voice coming out high and reedy. "I mean since you're offering—" 

“Carmen,” Tony interrupts before she starts melting under the full force of Natasha’s undivided attention, “what’s the game plan for today?” 

"Game plan. Right. We're here to work." Carmen clears her throat, a flush still staining her cheeks, and flips through some of the pages on her clipboard. "Okay, Tony, you're easy. You're running the basketball booth." 

Basketball. He can do basketball. 

"Mr. Rogers," Carmen says. Natasha starts humming "Won't You Be My Neighbor" until Steve shoots her an exasperated look. 

"Sorry," Natasha says, not sounding sorry at all. 

"Please, call me Steve," Steve says. "She already has that song set as my ringtone."

"Steve," Carmen says. "I know you're an artist. Think you could do caricatures slash portraits?" 

Steve nods. "Easy enough." 

The rest of the assignments go quickly. Natasha gets the sharpshooting booth, Clint's over Ring Toss, and Thor and Bruce will oversee the sack race. Now that introductions and assignments are over, there's a thrum of excitement to the air. Or anxiety. Tony's not sure yet. 

"Nervous?" Carmen says to him. She's tucked her pen behind her ear. 

"Maybe," he says. "Maybe not. It could just be indigestion."

"Gross," she laughs, wrinkling her nose. "I'm sure it'll be fine. I meant what I said, you know. I'm glad you guys showed up. You know how much A Helping Hand means to me." 

Of course, he does. Carmen's like him...in more ways than one. She had been orphaned at nineteen when her parents' plane had gone down over the Atlantic. 

And at twenty-one, she had also found herself the sole heir to a family fortune and no family to share it with. She got the idea for A Helping Hand after Tony's own parents had died. 

Tony repeats what she had told him all those years ago. "Us orphans gotta stick together."

"Damn right," she says. "Siamo famiglia."

"Siamo famiglia," Tony echoes. 

"Congrats on your new additions, by the way," Carmen says. 

Tony's brows furrow. "What new additions?" he asks.

Carmen tilts her head at him like she used to whenever she thought he had said something stupid. "You're telling me that those five supermodels you call teammates just came here for shits and giggles?" 

"They needed a day off," Tony explains. "I offered. Nothing else to it."

"They came because you asked them, dumbass. They're your friends." 

Tony's not going to argue with her, mostly since the others have stopped talking amongst themselves and are looking right at them. 

"Anyway," he says pointedly, "can you point me in the direction of my booth?" 

*********

For the next three hours, Tony shoves Carmen's words from his mind and throws himself into teaching anyone who steps up to the basketball booth about physics. It wasn't cheating per se; Tony simply calculated the angle the kids would have to throw the ball along with the perfect amount of force. The looks of shock followed by unabashed glee after they made a basket more than made up for any guilt he was feeling.  

His break comes faster than he wants it to, but he has to take one eventually and decides the best way to do that is to take a walk. His fellow volunteer, a young man named Jake, says he'll be able to hold down the fort while Tony's gone. Maybe Tony will check on the others, see how they're faring. 

“It’s a great day to fly,” he thinks. The sky is a soft pale blue that soothes his heart. Cirrus clouds, like pulled apart cotton candy, lazily make their way across the horizon. Maybe after the carnival is over, he’ll take the suit out for a ride and cruise through the skies. 

He wanders without direction, letting his feet carry him wherever they fancy. Seldom does Tony get quiet moments to himself like this. There was always a fire to put out, a project to work on, kittens to rescue from trees, that sort of thing. Not that he ever doubted her, but maybe Pepper was right. Maybe he did work too hard. 

The sound of children squealing pulls him from his thoughts and brings a smile to his face. Carmen had spared no expense, not that he expected any less, as he takes in the Tilt-a-Whirl lifting its arms higher and higher. The riders throw their arms up in the air, their laughter carrying on the wind. For today, they would get to fly too. 

Tony continues on, the shouts and whoops and laughs fading into the background; he's made it to a quieter part of the carnival where they tucked off all of the arts and crafts booths. 

There's the finger painting table where plenty of toddlers and adults alike are flinging paint onto sheets of canvas. One kid rises from the face painting table with Cap's shield emblazoned upon his cheek and a booth over...there's Steve, drawing caricatures for the kids. There's a curve to his lips. Steve's biting back a smile at the little boy trying (and failing) to sit still in his chair as he draws him. Tony's heart jumps at the sight. He's tempted to slide into the line for Steve's booth himself, but something holds him back. It could be the look of contentment on Steve's face or the kid's near infectious excitement—Tony feels like he's intruding on something private. Someone else's life. Someone else's dream. 

His heart pangs in his chest as the little boy jumps as soon as his drawing is finished and throws himself into Steve's arms. Steve startles but recovers quickly, giving the kid a polite hug back. 

For some reason, Tony thinks of the kid he met not even a year ago when everyone thought he was dead: Harley. Tony didn't hug Harley. He didn't have it in him to hug Harley. The kid deserved it, though, for dealing with Tony's shit. Tony liked kids well enough, but having one of his own? He would never admit it out loud, but it scared him. And Steve...Steve deserved more than a coward. 

There's less energy in his steps as he turns around and walks right back to the basketball booth. 

He knows he still has time left on his break, but for some reason, he can't bring himself to care. 

He finishes his shift with little fanfare, the carnival-goers opting for the rides and fair food after loading up on prizes for the day. 

His head's all foggy like he just got up from a nap. He's so out of it, he doesn't even realize that the others are walking up to his booth. Tony blinks slowly, trying to ignore the pressure building in his forehead, a sure sign of a headache. 

"Hey," Steve says when they make it to his booth. "You about ready?"

Tony winces, prompting the others to look him up and down. 

"You okay? What's bothering you?" Clint asks. 

"Just got a headache," Tony says, stepping out from his booth, giving Jake a wave. Jake waves back, trying his best not to look starstruck at the sight of the other Avengers.

"Did you eat at all?" Natasha asks, and as soon as she says something, his stomach growls. 

"Guess not," Bruce says. 

"You must eat," Thor says gently. "A warrior such as yourself must maintain your strength."

He knows they're right, but being confronted by all of them at once has his hackles rising. Carmen's words are getting all tangled up with Pepper's, and he can't. Stop. Thinking. 

"I will," he says, aware that they're watching him more closely now. He hopes that he doesn't look as unsound as he feels. "But why leave just yet? Don't you guys want to check out some of the booths or rides before we leave?" 

Steve starts to object, but Natasha is one second faster. "I did want to beat Clint at Shoot 'em Up," she says with a smirk. 

Steve looks ready to protest, but Clint cuts him off. "Oh, you're on," he says. "Loser has to do the other's paperwork for two weeks." 

"Prepare to drown in files, Barton," Natasha says, catching Tony's eye. 

Tony nods at her. A Thank you. 

She flips her hair over her shoulder. You're welcome. He doesn't know when they learned to read each other so well. 

Clint and Natasha make their way to the sharpshooting booth, Thor and Bruce walking along behind them. 

"You sure you're okay?" Steve asks, scanning Tony from head to toe. Steve can see through him so easily, his skin might as well be made of glass.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Tony says. "Come on. Let's catch up before they kill each other."

*********

Natasha and Clint tie in Shoot 'em Up. Since Tony is on a team that consists entirely of children, they extend their competition to every booth in the carnival. Steve warms up as the day goes on, even joining in on their little competition along with Thor. Tony and Bruce are just content to watch. 

Thor ropes Steve into the strongman game, which attracts a crowd, but who would turn down the sight of two handsome, well-built men lifting heavy things and showing off their muscles? Tony certainly couldn't, and given the way Bruce eyes the bulge of Thor's biceps, neither could he. 

Steve rings the bell easily and wins, of all things, a Captain Ameribear for his trouble.  

"Aw," Tony says. "It has wings on its helmet too." 

"Are we just going to ignore the fact that it came with a shield pillow?" Clint asks. 

Steve blushes, but it's all in good fun. Thor, of course, breaks the game, the bell flying clean off the top of the tower. The game runner in awe (and a little bit of fear) gives Thor a prize regardless. Tony promises to compensate the man as soon as possible. Despite all of that, his headache has receded slightly. He needs to eat now, and that barbecue is starting to smell better and better. 

Tony's so caught up in drooling over a rack of ribs or some trashed wings he barely notices the others walking off to the next booth, Steve lingering behind to wait on him. 

"Sorry," Tony says. "Guess I'm out of it. You...you don't have to wait on me, you know." 

Steve shrugs. "No one's forcing me. Spending time with you isn't a chore. This actually works out." 

Tony smiles despite himself. "What are you planning?"

"Nothing," Steve says. "I just wanted you to have this." Steve hands the bear over to Tony, and Tony...Tony melts because Steve is so fucking cute and sweet, and how did the hell did he end up in Tony's life? 

Tony takes the bear, and maybe it's the lack of food in his system, but the urge to cry at Steve's kindness strikes him. The bear is cute with Steve's signature red, white, and blue suit and the shield to go along with it. "Thank you," Tony says. "You sure you want me to hold onto this?" 

Steve looks at him from underneath his lashes. "Tony," he begins, "it's a gift. I want you to have it." 

"Okay," Tony whispers, feeling like the air is closing in on him. It's hard to breathe when Steve looks at him like that, like Tony means something to him. 

"Besides," Steve says, leaning in close to him. "I'm gonna clean the booths out. I'm trying to beat the super spies. Can you keep him safe for me?" 

Steve's breath, cool and minty, washes over his face. Tony has to blink a few times, processing what just happened before he can even think about speaking. 

"Are you guys coming, or are you just going to gaze into each other's eyes?" Clint shouts from the next booth over. 

Tony jumps and hurries to rejoin the others, Steve right behind him, staring into his back.

True to his word, Steve cleans out every booth they touch,  until he's practically drowning in stuffed animals. They attract a crowd as they make their way to the food court. Tony's feet are aching, and his stomach is outright roaring for sustenance. He and Thor get the biggest plate of ribs they've got to offer. The meat's so tender it's falling off the bone and smoked to perfection. The sauce they used is homemade, all tang and smoky sweetness. He eats until his stomach is about ready to burst. 

Thor's singing the cooks' praises and their delicious Midgardian cuisine and rises to go get seconds, Bruce trailing after him.

Clint runs off to the bathroom, and something catches Steve's eye. Tony follows his gaze to the herd of children trying (and failing) to watch them eat without freaking out. Steve rises from the table, taking his prizes with him, leaving just Tony and Natasha behind.

"Sometimes, I can't believe he's real," Natasha says, breaking the silence. There's no need to wonder who's the "he" she's talking about. Tony thinks it himself sometimes. 

It's hard not to when kids start lining up single file for their turn to receive a stuffed animal from Steve. 

"Me neither," Tony says. "Howard...he'd tell me all these stories of Steve and the 'good old days'...Steve single-handedly storming a HYDRA facility. Throwing himself on a grenade to give others the chance to live. I always thought he was embellishing a little. Making war stories more digestible for a kid, you know? But seeing him, knowing him? You can't help but wonder how someone can be so good."

"He's not like you," Natasha says. He doesn't even have it in himself to be offended. She's right. Steve isn't like Tony and will never be like Tony. A little rough around the edges. "He's not like me, either," she admits, catching Tony by surprise. 

"He's the best of us," Tony says. He glances at her. Natasha sits forward, resting her head upon her palm. Her face is smooth, her cheeks still tinged pink from their rowdy tramping through the fairgrounds. She looks...raw. That's the only word to describe her. Raw and real and human. Not the robot switching personalities and names and appearances like most people change clothes. 

"You make him that way," she says, shocking him again. His stomach drops, and whatever peace between them quickly disintegrates. What does she mean by that? What could she possibly know about him and Steve and all the complexities of their relationship? 

“I don’t know what you mean,” Tony says, his voice coming out thin. 

Something in Natasha’s face softens, and she tilts her head at Tony. “I’m not going to pretend I know all of the details, but…you’re good for him. And I think he’s good for you. You’re both...softer. You look happy.” 

It’s like someone’s dumped cold water down Tony’s back; he’s so in shock he can barely register what Natasha is saying. He swallows. Natasha knows. Of course, she knows, and if it weren’t her job to gather intel and pick up on context clues, he’d be a lot more worried that the others knew. But she wasn’t blackmailing him or threatening him to stay away from Steve? She...approved of them? He remembers that debriefing after they had defeated Loki, what felt like a lifetime ago, and her casual dismissal of Tony and his relationship with Steve. He wants to bring it up, to confront her, but what’s there to confront? 

He brings it up anyway. “Still think he wouldn’t touch me with a ten-foot pole?” 

Natasha tilts her head at him again, and he hates how sweaty his palms have gotten, and the hummingbird beating of his heart, like his relationship with Steve hinges on her opinion. 

“No,” she says slowly as if to weigh her words. “He wants you too much. I don’t think he could give you up even if he wanted to.” 

As if summoned, Steve comes bounding back to their table looking boyish and vibrant in the evening sun before Tony can process her words. 

"What I miss?" he says with a breathless grin, holding onto one last stuffed animal. 

"Nothing much," Tony says before Natasha can say anything incriminating. His eyes dart down to the last stuffed animal in Steve's arms. It's an Iron Man bear, of course, all done up in the telltale red and gold of Tony's suit. "What's the deal, no one wanted him?" he says, nodding to the bear. 

Steve looks down at the Iron Bear, and what he says next might actually make Tony melt into a puddle. "Nah. Couldn't bear to give him up."

Tony ignores Natasha's pointed look and hopes that his face isn't as red as he thinks it is. 

“Clint, you’re riding with me on the Ferris wheel,” Natasha declares when everyone makes it back to their table, and Steve has successfully made Tony as red as his suit. 

“A Ferris wheel?” Thor asks, arching his brow. 

“It’s a carnival classic,” Clint says. “It’s a giant wheel that lifts you into the air. Perfect way to end the day.”

“It’s older than Cap,” Natasha throws in helpfully, smirking at Steve when he shoots her an exasperated look. 

“Your Midgardian traditions are so strange,” Thor says. “Interesting, but strange.” 

“I’m not hearing a no,” Clint says. 

“Hm.” Thor turns to look at Bruce, who looked surprisingly (and thankfully) content with himself. “Would you like to ride with me, Doctor Banner?”

Bruce reddens, and Tony doesn't feel so alone because it looks like Bruce has his own beefy blond problem he needs to deal with. "Sure, since you asked," Bruce responds, leaving just...Steve. 

Steve shares a look with Natasha, and Tony gets the sneaking suspicion that they planned this. Who knew that the fall of SHIELD would lead to one of the most dangerous alliances Tony had ever seen? 

"Tony," Steve begins, sounding like he's about to propose, he's so serious. "Want to ride with me?" 

His heartbeat quickens, and he's not sure why. It's not like it's a public declaration of love to ride with someone on a Ferris wheel. 

It'd look weird if he takes too long to answer, so Tony says, "Yeah. Sounds like a plan." 

They toss their trash and pick up their respective prizes they won throughout the day, Natasha with her light-up sword, Clint with his stuffed dog. Thor's lion hat from the strongman game sits proudly atop his head. Tony wants to make a joke about Hercules, but he also doesn't want to deal with the guaranteed headache he'll get when Thor replies with some mind-bending statement like he and Hercules are gym bros or other. Tony and Steve walk side by side, far behind the rest of their little group, bears in one hand, their free hands brushing with each step. 

Part of him knows that if he just reached over...if he took that extra step for Steve's hand...Steve would let him. It'd be so easy…

The line to the Ferris wheel isn't too long, and by the time Tony works up the courage to take Steve's hand, the volunteers are strapping them in. 

One of the volunteers lowers the bar over their heads, making sure that they're secure, and that's it. Tony's trapped. He's stuck on this Ferris wheel for the next ten minutes, and Steve is so goddamn close he can feel how hot his skin is from being out in the sun and—

"I'm not gonna bite, you know," Steve mutters when they start to ascend. He won't meet Tony's eyes. "I...I know you're afraid of me."

Tony swallows, his stomach twisting into knots at the thought of Steve thinking he feared him. 

"I'm not...Steve, I'm not afraid of you," Tony says. Steve's still looking down. He doesn't know where he gets the courage, but he cups Steve's face and makes him look at him. "You hear me? I'm not afraid of you." 

Steve's eyes have always been a weakness of Tony's, and right now, when they're so big and blue and so fucking sad, it doesn't do him any favors. They're almost at the top of the wheel. A stray breeze rustles a lock of Steve's hair, and Tony feels like he's on a cliff's edge. 

"Then why—" Steve begins, only to be cut off by Tony's lips. Tony closes his eyes and answers Steve the only way he knows how.

It's cliche, but Tony swears he can see fireworks going off behind his eyelids. Steve's lips are warm and soft and pliant against his. Tony deepens the kiss and slides one of his hands into Steve's hair, the other remaining on his face. He can taste the remnants of cotton candy on Steve's mouth. 

They break apart because, unfortunately, air is necessary to live. Tony has half a mind to invent a way for humans to survive without air if it meant he could spend the rest of his life kissing Steve. 

This high up, with the sun setting behind them, Tony wishes he had at least brought a jacket. 

Steve lifts his arm, "Here," he says. "Lean into me." Tony does just that and tucks his body into Steve's side, his arm is a reassuring weight around him.

The others are too far back to see Tony and Steve. It's easy up here, easy to forget that Steve's Captain America and Tony's a barely functioning former alcoholic with a slew of mental issues. 

He looks at Steve out the corner of his eye, takes in his features shamelessly and selfishly, the allure of being above everyone reeling him in. He loves Steve's face, the cut of his jaw, and his long, pretty lashes and those eyes. It's painful looking at him. Sometimes it feels like his heart's gonna swell up and pop right out of his chest when he looks at Steve. 

In that moment, he's glad they went to the carnival if only to forget the world for a little while.

[coffee-obsessed-writer]

Hi! If requests are still open, can i have a Rosa Diaz imagines. Where Rosa’s wife is pregnant, and she is in the precinct so Rosa can keep an eyes on her. And they go into lockdown and the reader is about to give birth. So they have to help her give birth in the 99, and at the end it’s fluff with Rosa, the reader and there baby! Thank you! :)

Here ya go, anonny! Sorry it took so long…

Imagine Being Rosa’s Wife and Giving Birth at the 99

WC: 3K

Warnings: None

Rosa Diaz x Female!Reader

Tags: @sorenmarie87 @cloverhighfive @kazosa @whelp-that-just-happened

“This is completely unnecessary you know,” you said as you waddled towards the breakroom. She had insisted that you go to the station with her that day, despite feeling extra tired. Your back was especially sore, and there was a war of indigestion raging in your chest. But, with the recent rise in break-ins in your neighborhood, Rosa didn’t want you to leave her side. “Babe, I don’t need a babysitter. I would have been fine at home.”

“Yes you do,” Rosa mumbled and helped lower you to the couch there. “You’re nine months pregnant with our baby, and if you think for a second I’m letting you stay at home with all the craziness that’s been going on in this city, you’re just as bad as the… crazies out there,” she stuttered a little, shook it off, rolled her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest. “Sorry babe, you’re stuck here for now. My shift is over soon and then we can go home, and–” she trailed off, looking around to make sure no one could hear her, “I’ll rub your feet for you.”

“Well now, Diaz, are you being soft for me?” you teased.

“No. Shut up,” she scoffed, took one more look around and bent down to kiss you quickly before turning towards the door. “So, stay put, eat some crap from the vending machines and take care of our little girl.”

“Yes ma’am,” you winked and gave her a mock salute.

Trying to settle in for her long shift, you got as comfortable as you could, laid your head back and closed your eyes. There was a nice, ambient lull to the precinct that day, and you weren’t even mad that she dragged you across town just so she could keep an eye on you. Rosa must have put the fear of death into the squad not to bother you, because for more than an hour straight, neither Hitchcock or Scully even came near the room for snacks, or the use of their favorite couch.

In fact, it wasn’t until you heard the crack and then whoosh sound of someone opening a soda can, did you even start to stir. You opened your eyes and saw Jake standing near the vending machines, orange soda can in hand, and a look of fear on his face as he saw you wake up.

“Hiiii, Y/N. Sorry to wake you,” he whispered loudly. 

You laughed. “Its fine, Jake. How ya been?”

He looked nervously out into the bullpen and then back to you. “Good, good. Go back to sleep. If Rosa knew I woke you up, she’d kill me. Like, literally. She promised to hog tie anyone who disturbed you and then said she would tie them to the back of her bike then give them a tour of Brooklyn. I’ve already seen Brookly, Y/N. I don’t need a tour.”

“Come on, man, you really think I’d let her do that. Help me up off the couch and I promise your secret is safe with me.”

Jake put his soda down and gave you both his hands to help heave you up from the couch. 

“Damn, little Rosa seems ‘bout ready to pop, huh?”

“Dude, you have no idea. This little girl is a firecracker. She’s already taking after her mommy.”

“Aww, that’s so great, I can’t wait–”

“Jake!! What the Hell?!” Rosa exclaimed from the doorway. “I told you, what would happen if you woke her up!” Rosa glared and went to slowly pull something from the inside of her leather jacket, then stopped. “You’re lucky I don’t have the bike today.”

“Babe, stop. He didn’t wake me. In fact, he helped me up off the couch and then was about to get me a snack, right Jakey?”

“Yep, exactly. See! Uncle Jake is helping…”

“Fine,” Rosa relented and turned to you. “Have a good nap?”

“Yeah, it was great. Now I’m gonna eat the vending machine crap–”

“Over my dead body,” Charles chimed in from behind Rosa. Boyle walked further into the breakroom, his hands on his hips, his eyes wide with disbelief and cast as shameful look at Rosa. “How could you let the mother of your child dare to poison herself and that sweet wittle baby with vending machine crap!?”

“It’s fine Charles, I’m okay with it,” you laughed, knowing he meant well, but cheese puffs and an orange soda actually sounded pretty good. 

“I’m–I’m appalled. At both of you. I am going down to the deli and bringing you back the most AMAZING Italian sub. They shave the lunchmeat so thin–”

“Alright, Boyle. Thank you for feeding her, now go before I have to hear something gross about shaved meat and feel the urge to punch you,” Rosa groaned and looked back to you with a little shrug as Charles turned and bolted quickly, most likely afraid Rosa would change her mind. 

The moment he was out of sight, you walked over to the vending machine and procured the snack and soda you really wanted while Charles was gone. As you tasted the sweet orange bubbles, you smiled as it refreshed the dry throat leftover from your nap. You were about to say something when out in the bullpen a bout of chaos pulled everyone’s attention.

Jake and Rosa passed a curious, but a nervous glance and both turned to venture out to see what was happening. In the doorway, Rosa turned back to you. 

“Stay in here, okay?” she asked but you knew it wasn’t a request. 

The blinds were drawn so you couldn’t get a good look at what was going on, but you heard a variety of shouts and sounds of a scuffle. From somewhere else in the building, it sounded like a gunshot went off. You pushed your back flush up against the vending machines, suddenly terrified of what was going on. That’s when you felt the trickle of water running down your thigh, then a gush if it soaking your shorts. 

“Shit!” You nervously touched the wet spoke of the shorts, worried that you’d see blood there, but thankfully there wasn’t. Sighing with relief, you tried to move off the machines and towards the door to get Rosa. 

Jake came through the door just as the first few moments of a strong contraction were making you stop to rest at the table.

“Y/N?!” Jake exclaimed. “What’s wrong?”

“Labor…” you managed to get out, trying not to scream as the pain spiraled quickly through your back and legs. “Get Rosa, pleeease!”

“Ok, okay… come on, let’s get you somewhere comfortable. The precinct is on lockdown. Had a perp escape custody downstairs. The whole building is on lockdown until the situation is resolved. Let me take you to Holt’s office, at least his couch isn’t covered in Hitchcock and Scully leavings…”

You groaned in both pain and disgust as Jake slung an arm around your waist and you put yours around his shoulder. As he got you from the breakroom and out into the main room of the precinct, Rosa came running over. 

“What’s wrong, are you–” she stopped at seeing the wetness on your shorts. “Shit. Water broke. You need to get to the hospital. Now.”

“We can’t get out, Diaz. Let’s get her to Holt’s office, maybe he can call in paramedics at least.” 

Rosa nodded and helped prop you up from the other side as they assisted you into the Captain’s office. His door was already open, and he waved you in immediately. 

“Sir, Y/N’s water broke, her first contraction has already started. Is there any way you can pull rank and get some paramedics up in here? I know this can hours but–”

You inadvertently cut Jake off by a cry of pain as another contraction pierced through you. 

“–you can see things are speedin’ up a smiidgal.”

“Yes, I can see that. Thank you, Peralta. Diaz, stay here with Y/N, try your best to keep her calm. Let me make a call and see what I can do about getting medical help. Jake, find Amy, brief her of the situation and see if she has some kind of binder for this emergency. After Sharon went into labor, I believe she put a protocol together just in case it should happen again.”

Jake nodded in confirmation, while Holt followed behind and closed the office door behind him. Rosa knelt by your side and squeezed your hand tightly. The pain from the contractor subsided a little and you tried to remember the breathing techniques from the one Lamaze class you and Rosa attended. You couldn’t help but laugh when you remembered why you never went back.

“What?” she asked. “What’s so funny?”

“I was just thinking of the one birthing class we went too,” you replied, swallowed thickly and wishing you had some of the orange soda to wet your throat. “There was that one couple… The Bernbacks… Bernsteins? I don’t know… Bern–somethings…”

Rosa rolled her eyes at the mention of their names. “I don’t care what the instructor said, we totally beat them at all the exercises. They thought they were so perfect in the burrito roll, telling me how I should–”

“Alright, babe… I didn’t mean to rile you up. I just can’t believe its happening. All this time we waited… and now here she comes.” You felt a severe rush of hormones and emotions take over, tears quickly bubbling to the surface and spilling down your cheeks.

“What? What’s wrong?” Rosa asked, trying to assess what was causing you to cry. 

“Please don’t let the first thing our daughter see be Scully or Hitchcock… or some weird food ritual for newborns that Charles tries to present.”

“I promise you, I would let either of those two bozos within a hundred yards of our little girl,” Rosa said. “You just breath and relax.”

“We never did pick a name,” you said, trying to think of the hundreds of options you and Rosa had discussed over the nine months. “Think we can try and settle that before she makes her grand entrance?”

“You know my choice…” Rosa shrugged casually and exhaled through her nose. “But you didn’t want Nancy.”

“I am not naming our daughter after Nancy Meyers… please pick something else.”

“I just don’t want it to be all… froo-froo.”

“Ok, then, besides Nancy, what do you like?”

Rosa was thoughtful for a moment but ultimately shook her head. “I don’t know. I think you should pick, and whatever you pick, I’ll love it. Right now all I can focus on is making sure you and her are both okay.”

You nodded and couldn’t help but laugh. “Alright, I’ll think of the perfect name for this little firecracker.”

Rosa comforted you and did her best to keep you calm, as another couple minutes went by before the next contraction hit. By the time it subsided, Holt, along with Jake and Amy returned to the office with hurried excitement. 

Holt explained to Diaz paramedics were on their way, but there was still a situation on the second floor. They were letting them in through the back entrance and could hopefully get them up here with no trouble. Amy was on the couch, a binder in hand and asking you a flurry of questions about pressure here, pains there, and if you thought your cervix had softened. 

“Amy!” Rosa admonished. “Come on dude, just… help her.”

“I’m not a doctor Rosa! I just… know the steps and questions a doctor would ask. I didn’t think you or Y/N would be comfortable–I’m NOT, by the way–to check it myself!”

“Fair enough,” Rosa relented and came back to kneel by your side. “Help is on the way, but I don’t know how long before it gets here.”

“Ookay…” you breathed, trying to fight the urge to scream. “I hope its soon because I feel like I need to push.”

“No, no. Don’t do that, not yet,” Amy warned. “At least let me read ahead and see what the binder says. This isn’t exactly like trying to teach someone how to rotate a tire, or organize a closet.”

“Yeah, maybe a bit more complicated, babe,” Jake said and touched her shoulder lovingly, trying to guide her up off the couch. “Come on, let’s give the binder to Captain Holt, then you and I give Y/N and Rosa a minute to breathe, okay? There we go…” Jake slipped the binder from Amy’s arm and handed it to Holt before they left the office.

The contractions came and went quickly over the course of the next twenty minutes, and when the elevator opened, a paramedic team with a stretcher getting off on their floor brought everyone a deep sigh of relief. 

They got you moved to the stretcher, and realized that there was no time to move you, the baby was coming. They cleared Holt’s office, letting only Rosa stay to hold your hand. The paramedics worked fast to cut away the shorts and cover your lower half. The pain tore through you as they told you to bear down and push. 

It felt like hours went by, but in reality, it was only about ten to twenty minutes of hard labor before a big, piercing cry filled Holt’s office. From the other side of the drawn blinds, an eruption of shouts and cheers filled the bullpen at the sound of a healthy baby. 

You were exhausted, in pain and yet smiling from ear to ear as the paramedics gave the baby a quick once over before bundling her up and handing her to you. Gazing down at her little face, you looked up at Rosa, whose dark brown eyes were filled with tears, a soft smile quivering on her lips. 

“She’s so beautiful,” Rosa whispered and delicately touched the baby’s cheek. “She’s perfect.”

“Ok, mom and baby, you guys ready to travel? Let’s get you to the hospital and make sure baby… she have a name yet?”

You and Rosa locked eyes for a moment, and just as she was about to say no, you said. “Yes, actually, we do.”

“We do?” Rosa snorted. “Since when? Literally twenty minutes ago, she was gonna be Baby-Not-Named-Nancy (Y/L/N).”

You shrugged and looked down at the beautiful baby currently sleeping in your arms. “I was thinking, Charlotte Marie Diaz. You can call her Charlie, thought that wouldn’t be too… what was the word you used? Froo-froo?”

“Diaz? I thought…” Rosa hesitated, surprised at hearing her last name and not yours. 

“The way this girl heard a bit of commotion, then raced to get here to see it… she is a Diaz through and through. Just seems like she should have her feistier mom’s name.”

“It’s perfect.” Rosa bent down and kissed the side of your head and mumbled, “I love you.”

As the EMT’s rolled the gurney through the precinct, Amy, Jake, and Captian Holt were standing by to catch a glimpse of the newest addition to the Nine-Nine family. Right before the elevator, you asked them to pause just for a moment, so you could introduce everyone to little Charlotte. Even Captain Holt couldn’t stop himself from cooing at her. Everyone was so enamored with the little pink bundle, no one saw Hitchcock and Scully approaching from the other side. 

“Hey, we found this, thought maybe you could give this to the baby from us!” Scully said, beaming with pride at the treasure he was holding out towards Charlotte. 

Jake saw him first and quickly moved to stand between the dark, furry item that Scully assumed was a stuffed animal of some time. Blocking you and the baby from even having to see it. 

“Noooo… No. Not gonna give her that,” Jake groaned and quickly disposed of whatever it was. “Go! Go!” Jake waved the EMT’s, along with Rosa to get you into the elevator. Amy and Holt blocked Hitchcock as he also went to hand a baby blanket that had been in the lost and found since 1995. 

“No! Hitchcock!” Amy admonished and smacked it from his hand to the floor. “No gifts from you for the baby. I’ll find you something you can give her. New… from a store. Not something you pulled from lost and found.”

“No, that’s not from lost and found! That’s just old evidence from a–”

“Alllright,” Holt called out, getting everyone’s attention. “Let’s go, mother and child need to get to the hospital.”

Acting as a barrier, Holt, Amy, and Jake waited until the elevator doors opened. Charles came through the elevators, holding the bag from the deli and a look of sheer exasperation on his face. The moment he stepped off the elevator, he started rambling, completely unaware of the EMT’s and the fact that you were on the gurney, holding a baby in your arms.

“You will NOT believe what just happened. I ran down to the deli, and it took a minute or two longer because they had this gorgeous goat’s head in stock. Can’t find a good goat’s head in Brooklyn these days. Anyway, so I was trying to get back in the building, but the stupid lockdown. Had to wait until they finally lifted–”

“Charles!” Amy, Holt and Jake all yelled, interrupting his story. Incensed at being interrupted during his rant, he followed their line of sight to see you, and finally notice the baby. 

“Wha-How-I missed…baby…” he trailed off and his eyes rolled back as he fainted to the floor. 

“And down he goes,” Jake narrated and shook his head with a laugh. “You guys go, we got Boyle. Meet you over there soon, okay?”

“Thanks, Jake,” Rosa smiled and followed the paramedics onto the elevators. 

As the door closed, you were gazing down at your daughter, who was starting to get fussy and was probably ready to eat. Despite the pain and exhaustion set into your body, you felt a rumble of hunger yourself. 

“Oh man,” you mumbled, making Rosa look down as the elevator descended to the bottom floor. 

“What?”

“I shoulda had you grab the sandwich from Charles. Hospital food sucks.”

Rosa laughed and rolled her eyes. “I promise, once you and Charlie here are all checked out, I will bring you whatever you want to eat. Anything at all.”

“You spoil me,” you teased and leaned your head against her side. 

“Now I get to spoil both of you,” she mused dreamily, unable to take her eyes from Charlotte. “Maybe I should take some time off work. We could just chill at home with the kid… just enjoy life a little,” Rosa shrugged, but once she saw your reaction, she couldn’t hide her smile. 

“Charlotte and I approve of that decision. Very, very much.”

As the EMT’s pushed you and the baby through the precinct doors and out into the light of day, Rosa squeezed your shoulders. 

“Good. Now let’s get you two to the hospital before there are any more crazies coming out of the woodwork today.”

[im-abanana]

Ineffable Bureaucracy as parents HeadCanons

I can’t believe I spent nearly two hours writing some ‘Ineffable Bureaucracy’ Pregnancy/Child/Parents HeadCanons. The craziness is under the cut, I’m not sorry.

Pregnancy head canons:

-First of all, I am positive that Beelzebub’s pregnancy would be an accident. A total, disastrous accident. Com’on, they are so stupid. It’s not like she or Gabriel could imagine that angels and demons would be able to procreate, since they are supposed to be mortal enemies in the first place (after the failed Armageddon, I think the situation between the two factions would be way better though);

-Beelzebub realizes that something must be wrong with her body around the seventh week or so. Demons do not need to sleep, but she finds herself fighting the urge to nod off on her uncomfortable throne more and more often, until even Dagon takes notice. Being the best BFF there is in Hell, Dagon gently offers Beelzebub to swap duties for a few hours, or she simply brings hot coffee to the Prince every time she can;

-Coffee is the only thing Beelzebub manages to gulp down without having to spend the whole afternoon locked in the bathroom, because pregnancy sickness is a fickle beast. Being a demon of Gluttony and not being able to eat is torture. At first, Gabriel shrugs it off and says ‘I’ve always told you not to eat that gross matter’, but at some point he gets worried too... demons or angels are not supposed to feel sick or have indigestions, after all;

-Gabriel secretly starts to investigate about the Prince’s strange behavior, writing down every single oddity he sees, date and time. He is an excellent bureaucrat, but a fucking idiot in general. He hides an up-to-dated little notebook full of notes, such as ‘morning always sickness, unjustified tiredness, nausea, moodiness’ and he still doesn’t have a clue. He could use Internet or his brain, of course, but as I said he is a dork. However, he feels like he’s missing something;

-At the tenth week (still not knowing about her condition) Beelzebub hits her breaking point. It happens during a business meeting with a few subordinate demons, in the throne room. As she tries desperately not to fall asleep (she cares about her people and has a lot of patience for the most part, imo), while a few of those demons are bitching nonstop about some leaking or a burst pipe somewhere, one of them frowns and dares to accuse ‘Excuse me Lord Beelzebub, are you actually sleeping on the job!? This is unacceptable, do you actually know how hard it was for us to get an appointment!?’. That definitely does it. At the end, everything there’s left of that particular demon is a sad pile of dust; 

-Dagon calls Gabriel and tells him about what happened and the harsh reprimand Beelzebub had received from Satan himself. Concerned, he waits for her in front of the communal entrance of the offices (the escalator we see in Good Omens), and when she arrives- to his utter disbelief -she starts sniffing and repeating ‘I didn’t mean to destroy that demon’, ‘I’ve being feeling odd these weeks’  and ‘I don’t know what’s gotten into me’. He tries his best to calm her down, but the feeling that he is missing something still lingers, stronger than ever now;

-A few nights later, as Gabriel is trying to fill out some paperwork, it just hits him. He springs to his feet and runs into the bathroom, where an infamous box lays untouched since many, too many weeks. He yells ‘Beelz!!! When is the last time you had a menstrual period?��. For an handful of seconds, dead silence. But then, Beelzebub’s voice echoes loud and clear in the house ‘Oh, shit!’;

-So, she is officially carrying a demon-angel hybrid. That night, the silence in their house is disturbed only by Gabriel’s unceasing steps as he walks aimlessly in every single room, mumbling to himself, his face blank and pale. Beelzebub is still in the bathroom, with her head between her hands and questioning her life decisions (lmao, poor bean);

-The thing Beelz hates the most about pregnancy are swollen ankles, not because they are unaesthetic or painful, but because she has to give up on wearing her beautiful fishnet socks;

-Once the general shock wears off, Dagon would be so happy! I mean, I see Beelzebub and Dagon as really close friends and partners in crime. No matter who the father of the offspring is, Dagon’s gonna spoil the living Hell out of her nephew/niece;

-Gabriel knows how dangerous Hell is, especially for the Prince. He tries to convince Beelzebub to allow a few security guards (his best angels) to protect her, or at least supervise the entrance of the throne room, but the demon angrily refuses. She is one of the most powerful beings in existence and can take care of herself, as she always did. Plus, angels in Hell? What nonsense that would be;

-Sandalphon and Uriel are not happy about it, like, at all. One day at the office, around the fifth/sixth month of pregnancy, Gabriel overhears Sandalphon muttering ‘What was the Almighty thinking when She allowed that unholy union to happen? Can you imagine what kind of monstrosity will come out from that— that disgusting demon?’. The Archangel takes a long breath, smiles in the most diplomatic way, walks towards his colleague and punches him right in the face. Nobody insults his gf and unborn child;

-Michael isn’t even mad, for she is very open-minded and understanding. She just sticks with Gabriel through it all, secretly glad for him. Excited, even. He is her most trustworthy friend, nothing could ever change that. He does not deserve to be treated as a traitor or an outcast;

-Gabriel loves to feel the baby kicking and moving, even stretching its tiny wings inside the womb. Beelzebub pretends to be annoyed when he rests his head on her belly, but when the Archangel isn’t looking (or at least, that’s what she thinks) she smiles softly at her boyfriend’s tenderness;

-But when the baby starts to move, it. just. doesn’t. give. Beelz. a. break. I mean, she tolerates the little thing with all her heart, but she would appreciate it… if it would just stop wrestling with her spine and ribcage 24/7;

-Thankfully, the other demons do not dare to challenge Beelzebub. Not only she is a formidable fighter on a regular basis, but she grows ten times more protective and intransigent during the gestation. The Prince is aware that there isn’t just her safety on the line, but her child’s as well. Whoever steps a bit too close for her liking gets growled at;

-Surprisingly, Satan himself is one of the first to congratulate. At this point, especially after the Armageddon flop, he doesn’t give two shits about what angels and demons do together. Times have changed… Hell, his own son has rebelled against him! So he just good-naturedly states ‘If this offspring comes out half as fierce as Beelzebub, I sincerely hope it will join our side, or else Heaven would gain a great advantage!’;

Now time for some parenthood head canons:

-When Beelz goes into labour, the questions of the day are ‘What will the child look like!? Will it be a demon? An angel? Both? Will it grow horns or hooves? An halo, perhaps?’. But to everyone’s surprise, the kid comes out pretty normal. A balanced mix of its parents. It inherits Gabriel’s purple eyes and Beelzebub’s black hair. Its only uniqueness is a pair of very, very fluffy black-and-white wings;

-Much to Beelz’s dismay, it also inherits Gabriel’s dumbness and shit-eating grin (especially the ‘shut your stupid mouth, and die already’ smirk). But when the kid is puzzled or simply interdicted, it reminds Gabriel of Beelzebub’s expressions at the airbase;

-Those two immediately fall in love with their baby, anyway. Gabriel even cries a tiny bit as he holds his little one in his arms for the very first time. He knows that Beelz is gonna take hundreds of pictures and tease him about it for all eternity, but he just doesn’t care. For once, screw dignity;

-Michael and Dagon are the best aunts in the world. When Beelzebub and Gabriel are both too busy with work, they are more than willing to spend some time with the child. During playtime, they both try to influence the kid in their own faction’s favor of course, ahah;

-The baby’s first word is ‘pornography’ and you cannot convince me otherwise. Because of that, even if Beelz is undoubtedly entertained, Gabriel is forced to ‘sleep’ on the patio for a whole month;

-Flying lessons with dad! When the child’s wings are grown enough— they become pitch black, the terminal feathers pristine white (like a Black-billed Magpie), or vice versa pristine white, with pitch black terminal feathers (like a Swallow-tailed Kite)—Gabriel decides it is time to teach his little one how to fly. The kid just stares in awe at his dad’s wings (a lot of people, me included, headcanon Gabriel’s wings as gigantic and majestic) and obediently follows every instruction. Beelzebub silently flies beside them, monitoring every progress with pride and making sure nobody gets hurt while practicing;

-Fencing lessons with mom! Beelzebub is a brilliant sword fighter, and she doesn’t waste time showing her kid how to use one;

-The kid is most likely very powerful. It is the offspring of the Lord of the Flies and the Archangel-fucking-Gabriel after all, if it indeed inherits the abilities of both of its parents… oh boy. Nor Hellfire nor Holy water can touch it, that’s scary stuff;

-Since the child is an hybrid, it is allowed to explore Heaven and Hell whenever it wants. While it excitedly snoops around, angels and demons just shoot it some suspicious glances, hoping it would simply choose a side already; 

-The kid does not, because it loves visiting Heaven and Hell just the same. Hell folks are more fun to talk with, that’s true, but Heaven has the best view and a calmer environment.

[sicky-hobi]

Jimin lays down with Hoseok so he could cuddle and he complains about his stomach feeling upset. He pushes it off as indigestion until he wakes up in the middle of the night vomiting. Hoseok is obviously there to love on him and rub his back uwu

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

“Hoseok.... can I... lay with you tonight?” Jimin asks standing in the door way of Hoseoks room.

“Oh uh yeah sure.” Hoseok says pulling his shirt over top of his head.

Jimins stomach has been hurting ever since they had dinner. He thinks it might just be dinner settling, but his head has also started hurting. He can’t be getting sick right? His stomach just needs to settle.

Jimin goes over and lays down on Hoseoks bed. “I’ll be right back, just gonna wash my face” Hoseok says going into the bathroom and Jimin hears the sink running. Jimin feels like a burden. Hoseok is probably so tired. He was probably planning to go to bed, seeing that he’s washing his face right now. Why Jimin? Why does his stomach always have to be upset. He feels so awful.

Hoseok comes out of the bathroom and sees Jimin curled up on his stomach. “Jimin, you okay?”

The younger boys looks up at Hoseok with bloodshot eyes.

Hoseoks heart drops. He goes over to kneel in front of Jimins side of the bed. He pushes Jimins hair back of of his face.

“What’s wrong?” He asks.

“My tummy really hurts, but I’m okay. It’s just dinner settiling” Jimin says putting a hand to his stomach.

Hoseok frowns. “Are you sure that you’re not just coming down with something?” He asks.

Jimin nods.

Hoseok gets on his bed. Jimin lays his head on the older boys stomach while Hoseok rubs Jimins back until they both fall asleep.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

When Jimin wakes up later that night. His stomach is cramping painfully. Moaning he rolls over out of Hoseoks arms and curls onto his stomach.

Wet burps make its way up his throat. When they become to wet to be just air, Jimin feels it’s a good idea to go to the bathroom.

Slightly hunched over from the pain in his stomach, Jimin gets to the bathroom. Sitting in front of the toilet. Just staring at the water is making him feel sicker.

The boy gives a silent gag over the bowl. Bringing up nothing but spit. His stomach is hurting even more now. He tried rubbing his stomach to try and calm the cramps.

He gives another sick belch that brings up a thick wave of vomit. He doesn’t even get time to breathe before another wave of pouring out of him. He’s to busy throwing up wave after wave of vomit, that he doesn’t even realize that Hoseok came into the bathroom. Running his back Hoseok tries to calm Jimin down by telling him “everything’s gonna be okay, just breathe”

Jimins stomach finally settles. Tears are running down his face. Hoseok wipes them away. Then he flushed the toilet. “I’m sorry” Jimin cries.

“Oh baby, it’s okay. There’s nothing to be sorry about.” Hoseok says pulling Jimin into his chest. “I know this is grossing you out.” Jimin softly says.

Hoseoks heart breaks. But Jimins not entirely wrong. He definitely isn’t good with sick, but he is in no way grossed out. “Baby, you’re not grossing me out. You’re sick, that obviously needs to come out, you’ll feel better anyways” Hoseok says wiping Jimins tear away once again.

They sit there for a little longer waiting for Jimins stomach to calm down a bit more before they go back to bed. Hoseoks nails are tracing across Jimins back. “You think you can move back to bed now Jiminie?” Hoseok asks. Jimin nods. “Okay I’ll get you a bucket just in case.” Hoseok says helping Jimin back to bed.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Okay!!! Thanks for requesting. I’m so sorry this took so long for me to write. I’ve just been so unmotivated lately. I’m trying tho. Also sorry that it’s short. I’m just trying to get something written.

[aliceslantern]

Beyond this Existence, short 7--Burnout

Recovery is a tedious, nonlinear process. Demyx, Ienzo, and the others living in Radiant Garden's castle have to learn to come to terms with their pasts and their memories, learn to grow, and begin to understand what, exactly, it means to be human. While there is unexpected joy in this, there is also unexpected sorrow.

A series of loosely interconnected oneshots set after Beyond this Existence. Zemyx (Demyx/Older!Ienzo), roughly canon-compliant

Current short: “Burnout.” A tough patient causes Demyx to burn out, which raises some questions as to why he's turned to healing in the first place.

Timeline: at least six months after chapter 19.

Read it on FF.net/on AO3

----

Kaila’s baby was healthy.

It had been a big deal when she was born--it was the first live birth Radiant Garden had seen since the Fall. The world was stable enough that people had the confidence to begin families. Aerith had been abuzz about the pregnancy since the young woman came to them. Demyx had been there for the birth, the vaccinations. Seeing the little girl, now three months old, did give him hope. He wasn’t sure if he and Ienzo would ever have a family in the traditional sense--maybe they’d get a cat first--but he was happy that other people were ready for that step. A new generation, divorced from fear, living in safety. It was almost too good to be true.

Kaila’s baby was healthy. Kaila wasn’t doing so hot. The birth had fractured some of the vertebrae in her spine, pinching her nerves and making it hard to walk. It was the sort of thing that required repeat treatment to regenerate and strengthen the nerves, which was something he was still grasping. Aerith had left the new mother in his “very competent” hands to go run soup over to old Mrs. Fletcher.

Demyx wasn’t doing so hot either.

He’d felt sick all day, though vaguely so--a little nauseous, a little headachey, and so on. Self-diagnosis was a slippery slope, and the symptoms were way too common to mean anything. “How do you feel now?” Demyx asked her.

“My toe’s still tingly, but it doesn’t hurt anymore.” The woman flexed her foot.

It didn’t help that this was a high cost spell. The more involved things were, the more energy it cost. If he did it poorly, he’d have spent that magic for nothing, and left the patient still sick or in pain. Healing cuts? Cost nothing. Tedious nerve reconstruction, from the base of the spine all the way down the legs? Lots of stress, and he was feeling it; sweat was beading under his arms. “Let me see if I can fix that.”

He felt at Kaila’s aura. Her energy was strong, and tired from spending sleepless nights with the newborn, though he could sense her happiness. He found her spine, down to the place where the break had occurred. Directing the energy and urging it to heal felt like pushing through half-dry concrete. Down the thighs, the knees. A wave of dizziness washed over him, and his concentration broke. He fought the urge to swear. Start again. Aura, spine, hips, thighs, knees--

“I think it’s working. Is it supposed to feel warm?”

Did she have to say something? He tried to smile. “Yeah, that’s the spell taking effect.” He was feeling woozier still.

“You okay?” She frowned.

It wasn’t her fault, Demyx reminded himself. She didn’t know how tiring this was. One more time. Aura, spine, hips--

He could feel the nerve endings, each so distinct and fine, like a filament. He pushed a little harder, through a steady-growing pain in his chest, to the very edge of her foot. But getting there was only half the battle--the energy had to be held so it could do its work. Kaila remained silent, still. The back of Demyx’s mouth tasted raw. This wasn’t good, but there was no point dropping everything now when he was so close to helping this person.

The sense of heaviness eased from her aura. She wiggled her foot. “It’s gone! You did it.”

Demyx had to actively focus to stay pleasantly smiling, to not hurl all over the floor. “Come on over if anything changes,” he said.

“Thank goodness. You have no idea how frustrating it’s been. Like feeling white noise all the time.”

“I’m sure.”

She got off of the treatment table. “Everyone thinks you’re doing great, you know. I’m so happy Aerith has a partner now.”

The dizziness was worsening. As casually as possible, he leaned against the now vacant table, fighting the urge to collapse onto it.

Kaila reached into her pocket. “This is for you.” She tried to press the money into his hand.

“You don’t have to--”

“Take it. Please. You must at least need to buy supplies. I wouldn’t give it if we didn’t have it.”

“Thank you.” He set the money aside and tried to breathe.

“No, thank you. And if you don’t mind me saying, you look like you could use a little bit of a break.” She frowned.

“I’ll be fine. It’s an intense spell, is all.”

“Well I surely appreciate it. You have a good day now.”

Demyx watched her leave. He sat on the table and rested his head in his hands. His vision was swimming. Why did he feel so shitty? This wasn’t the normal low-magic exhaustion. The wooziness washed over him in little waves. Where was Aerith? How long did it take to drop off some soup? She’d have an answer. She always had an answer.

He felt so… incompetent. Would he even be half as good as her? He could barely handle the exhaustion--he’d almost snapped at Kaila. He was supposed to be the one in control. Aerith was finally starting to trust him to work unsupervised. And this was how he was handling it?

There had to be something he could take to feel better. What were his symptoms again? Nausea, dizziness, exhaustion, headache, chest pain? Or was it indigestion? Sometimes it was a side-effect of magic use. What would help all that, or some of it? Ginger, for the nausea, willow bark for the pain, maybe a mild anti-inflammatory? Was this also dehydration?

Demyx stood, to cross over to the medicine cabinet, but his knees gave out and his vision abruptly went dark.

The next thing he was aware of was the cool floor against his cheek, and the smell of something bitter. “There you are. Hi.”

If anything, he felt worse than before, like he was full of sludge.

Aerith crouched next to him, a bottle of smelling salts in one hand. “Come on. Up we go.” Gentle. Soothing. Her patient voice.

Moving was not a great idea. She eased him up on the table and handed him an empty mixing bowl just in time for him to be sick into it.

“I shouldn’t have left you alone. That was a lapse in judgement on my part. I’m sorry.” She took the sick away from him. “What’s the last thing you remember?”

“Well--Kaila left--”

Her eyebrows shot up. “You fixed Kaila?”

Why was she saying that as though it were a bad thing? “Yes?”

Aerith exhaled. “There’s a reason I didn’t heal her all at once. That’d be a challenge even for my stamina. I thought you were getting low, but you must be completely empty.”

“...Empty?”

“I thought you’d been pushing yourself too hard, but you never complained, so--” She crossed over to the cabinet and started grabbing a couple of things. “You burnt yourself out, that’s all. Use too much magic and you actually end up eating into your own metabolism. Kind of like a super mild version of what happened to Ienzo.”

“How do we fix it?” Demyx was feeling nauseous again.

“Can’t so much as fix it as treat the symptoms.” She frowned. “I should’ve kept a better eye on you. You’re still finding the balance. I’m sorry, but these next few days are going to really suck. Why don’t you lay down? I’ll get you some tea.”

He was too weak to do anything but listen. He felt her toss a blanket over him, sweet clean wool. He really was so tired. Lying here felt so odd, and off.

“Sleep for a little while,” she said.

He slept so heavily and instantaneously that he wondered if she might have knocked him out herself, but this wasn’t Aerith’s usual MO. Demyx woke in his bed, of all places, feeling more or less like animated garbage. Opening his eyes was almost too much; the light was bright and piercing.

“Well good morning sunshine,” Ienzo said coolly. He sat in the chair at the bedside, a book in his lap and several on the dresser.

“...Oh, you’re mad,” he said. His voice was hoarse and very soft.

“Moreso frustrated. And that frustration is born from worry.” He reached over and took Demyx’s hand. “I think it’s a touch hypocritical that you criticize me for overwork, and yet you collapse on the job.”

“To be fair, it wasn’t on the job. The job had already walked out the door.”

Ienzo sighed. “How do you feel?”

“Like the dead. How long have I been out?”

“The better part of two days.”

Demyx sat up slowly. Nothing seemed to have straight lines. Ienzo handed him a glass of water and a pill he knew Aerith had made.

“She said, and I quote, “prepare for the worst hangover of your life.” Unfortunately the only cure for it is rest.” He shook his head. “I may not be a healer, but at least I have basic nursing skills.”

Despite a sour stomach, the water went down easily. Demyx tasted something minty in the pill. “A hangover with none of the fun.”

“...Quite.”

“Sorry. I’m guessing this hasn’t been a cakewalk.”

“You vomited several times in your sleep. Hence my vigil.”

Demyx flinched. “Yikes. And you stayed?”

Ienzo rolled his eyes. “I have a surprising tolerance for the gross. Especially when it comes to you.”

“Gee, thanks.” He leaned back a little against the pile of pillows. “Have you gotten any sleep?”

“Some. Don’t turn this back on me.”

Demyx wrinkled his nose.

Ienzo sighed. He took Demyx’s hand, tracing its shape. “I see no reason to chastise you when you know what went wrong,” he said. “But I wonder...  why did you do it?”

The medicine was easing the nausea and dizziness, but at the same time made him feel somewhat loopy. “These people, they need… help.”

“They’ve gotten by without you. They can do it again. At least for a few days.”

Demyx shook his head. “She’s finally started to trust me.”

“Your competence has nothing to do with the fact that you’ve started to put them before yourself. I’m proud that your capacity for empathy has grown so, but at the same time, Demyx, is that what this is really about?” He leaned forward, trying to catch his gaze.

Maybe it was because he felt so shitty. His eyes were watering.

“I’m trying to understand it,” Ienzo said. “You stopped therapy so suddenly after what happened in the basement, but I’m not sure that means you’ve healed.”

If he weren’t so weak he would have pulled away.

“I think you’ve thrown yourself into this so headlong to avoid having to deal with your own pain. It might be guilt, too. You help them because you couldn’t help the others.”

“Is this what you’ve thought about the past two days?”

“Well--yes.” Ienzo took off his reading glasses. “But you and I are, at our core, more similar than we thought. We’ll do anything to salve the pain. You know. You don’t have to put up a front of recovery.”

“But you’re okay.” His voice broke. “I just want to be--”

Ienzo pressed his forehead against Demyx’s. “You’re healing. And that’s enough. It’s not quick. It’s not perfect. And it’s certainly not going to be the same as me. As I,” he corrected. “You’ve changed my grammar, you know that?”

He smiled despite the onslaught of tears. Ienzo pulled him close. He felt so horrible that for a few minutes he let himself cry and be babied. He was reminded of the early days of their relationship, when he was so starved of affection and touch that it was cathartic. This was, in a way, its own relief; the pressure he’d been putting himself under was completely arbitrary. He tried to tell himself that, at least.

It wasn’t guilt so much as… well… what he was worth. He understood he’d been manipulated and taken advantage of and he understood that the awful things he’d done were his responsibility. But for so long Demyx had been a pawn in a bigger game where the gamemaster was always shifting. He was no longer unmoored, but he wasn’t stable, either. Healing people was something to hold onto, a constant, a goal to work towards. Music wasn't so forgiving. Music made him think inwardly, which was now ceaselessly complicated.

He'd done the only thing he knew how, after ages of apathy and laziness; he'd made himself useful. He told Ienzo as much. “If I helped with Xehanort, and I help these people, that has to make this worth it, right? That has to make me worth it?”

Ienzo looked almost startled. “You needn’t destroy yourself to justify your own existence. Especially since you understand morality. You… you told me as much.”

“I thought it would be enough.”

“What?”

“I just…” He grit his teeth, swallowing a sob. “I’m supposed to be happy.  I’m human, I have you, I have Arpeggio, I have these bonds with people and yet I… I feel like an impostor.”

“I do, too,” Ienzo said softly.

“And as much as I tell myself that it’s okay to feel this way, or whatever, I don’t know how people don’t see it’s all…”

“A ruse?”

“It feels that way. Like someone’s going to take it all. Like I’m going to wake up and it’s all gone. So I guess that’s why.”

He blinked. “Why what?”

“Healing people. Pushing so hard. Trying to leave a mark of kindness so this pain isn’t for nothing.”

“But you have to express such emotion healthily. Or else this happens.”

“You’re one to talk.”

Ienzo’s expression went, abruptly, blank, and while he didn’t physically pull away from Demyx, he could feel the walls go up.

Demyx exhaled sharply. “I’m sorry, that was mean--”

The tension eased slightly. “No. You’re right. I… I don’t know how.”

“I don’t either.”

“All this reading, all this study of psychology. I know what is considered healthy. But I don’t know how to do it myself.”

“I guess…” Demyx settled back against the pillows. “I guess, it’s like, what feels the most right. Not good. But right. Like, you know, puking feels right, but not good.”

“You’re still nauseous?”

“Very.”

Ienzo sighed. He smiled, but it was small, and sad. “If only there were some way to purge emotionally.”

“Well. Talking, mostly.” Demyx doubted there was anything left in his stomach to empty, but he swallowed down the excess spit in his mouth.

“Yes. You are right. Maybe we should both go back to… talking through things.”

“I think we need to.”

Ienzo leaned against the mattress. “Since what happened in the basement I do feel quite a lot better, but things still linger. I think this will take some time.”

“Yeah. It will.”

“Can I lie down with you? Or do you feel too ill?”

“I’m not going to puke on you, if that’s what you’re asking.” He lifted the covers and Ienzo crawled under. The touch soothed him and took his mind off of his various miseries. “It’s hard to be patient. After waiting so long.”

“For humanity?”

“Stability. What have you.”

“I agree.” Ienzo looped his arms loosely around Demyx’s waist. “At least we’re not alone in this.”

He breathed in Ienzo’s clean, slightly sweet smell. “Ienzo?”

“Yes?”

“Do you want to get a cat?”

[boy-banders-writings]

Shameless

Group: Pentagon Member: Hyojong aka Edawnie aka a plant parent?; nonidol!AU, a little FriendsWithBenefits action; Kind of got a little bit of pre-Triple H vibes for this like before 365 Fresh; uhm has a bit of a fluff ending. this kind of hits all 3 genres requested, kind of...? Genre: Angst, straight angst. No fluff (maybe a little). Request: would you be so kind to write an edawn smut or fluff angst anything youd like to really its just so hard to find fic w this boy; Length: short|medium|long|idk man

A/N: Inspiration is Shameless covered by Sofia Karlberg; originally by The Weeknd; this song has heavily influenced the plot line and how this is all going. This is mainly angst, with a bit of suggestive content leaning towards sexual content but because I can’t write smut for shit, that’s about as good as it’s gonna get. But I hope that it’s suggestive enough for your imagination to run wild & this fulfills the request; language is a little vulgar too, uhm fair warning.

Your life was a bit of a mess. Mid-twenties with not a clue to the direction you were going, you did you fair share of college partying but it was never quite your scene. The only thing you got through and out of your college days was Hyojong. He was a friend of a friend of a friend, you met him in the basement of a friend’s place for an end of the semester party. The two of you weren’t completely sober but you were smashed either. He prevented a creep from coming onto you and thus a conversation started which lead to a friendship, of course when you both were completely sober.

Now, five years later no one knows you like Hyojong. No one else knows what makes you tick, what you’re really thinking. For Hyojong, you’re the same. No one knows him quite like you do. A friend of his that became yours, Hwitaek is a close second but he met Hyojong about a year after the two of you met.

One of the reasons the two of you were so drawn together was similar pasts. By society’s standards the two of you were both broken kids, his parents not caring enough and yours caring too much. Polar opposites in a way. You were raised in a strict household, with lots of rules and expectations with cold parents who were only “doing what was best.” Hyojong’s parents left him to his own devices, they were gone for long periods of time and being an only child he often got away with whatever stunt he pulled.

He yearned for some sort of structure and you yearned for unadulterated freedom. In theory the two of you were perfect for each other, balancing the other out. But things are never as clean cut in theory, they’re often messy in practice. Instead of balance, the two of you created chaos for the other, unintentionally of course.

Roughly two years ago after a night spent drinking in Hyojong’s apartment he shared with Hwitaek, the two of you crossed a line in your friendship, an invisible boundary. With hazy minds and needs gone unmet for an undisclosed time you awoke the next day in his bed completely nude, wrapped in his arms, and sore.

It seemed to have caused a rift in your friendship at first. You loved Hyojong, he’d been a stable person in your life for so long you forgot what life was like before him. Yet every time you saw him, flashes from that night would come to mind. You could feel his body against yours, his fingers pressing into you hips, his lips on your neck. You could hear his pants in your ear and goosebumps would rise on your neck. Hell it took a few days for the hickies he had left to go away. You tried to pretend like it didn’t bother you, Hyojong seemed oblivious for the most part which helped your act a little.

It wasn’t till a week later when Hwitaek asked about the tension when he and a friend, Hyuna, were hanging around the apartment making weekend plans. Hyojong wrote it off as being tired from the work week and you agreed, wishing to get the memories out of your mind of that night. When the pair left to meet some other friends at a bar across town Hyojong surprised you by bringing it up again.

“You’re just tired? That’s all?” He asked, looking at the space between the two of you on the couch.

“Yea, work has been a bitch this week.” You shrugged, pulling your legs up and crossing them infront of you.

“Hm.” He was quiet for a moment, the TV preventing complete silence. “Why’d you leave?”

“What?” Your eyes shot over to Hyojong who was watching you intently.

“You left that morning. Why?”

“Oh. Shock I guess.” You started to fidget. “I felt like we had crossed a line. Jong, we slept together.” You looked back up to see the glimmer of a smirk on his face.

“We did. I enjoyed it, did you?” You rolled your eyes at him but nodded nonetheless. “We’ve talked about being there for each other, we have been there for each other for so long. Maybe this is just a different way to do that. ”

“You mean become friends with benefits?” You scoffed. “When has that ever turned out okay in the end? There are plenty of horror stories about friendships ending and people hating each other.”

“I was thinking friends who casually fuck.” The word sounded so much dirtier coming from Hyojong in such a manner.

“That’s essentially the same thing Jong.”

“Not really. I’m not saying we just sleep together and that��s it. Look, you’re my best friend (Y/N), I love you with my whole heart. I would do anything for you. I’m not really sure just what I feel about you but I know that we both don’t really seem to be interested in dating right now. We just add that on top of all that we do already.” He paused, watching the nervous energy surge through your cramped body. “Only if you want to though. We’ve joked about it plenty of times since every thinks we’ll end up together.”

“Joking about it ever happening and it happening are two different things Jong.” He turned fully towards you and held out his hand for you to take, when you did he continued.

“I’m just throwing it out there, only if you wanted to try of course. I’m not going to badger you about it or anything. If you want to we can always call it off later on.”

His free hand cupped your cheek and gave it a little pinch. The simple action made your stomach stir. You found yourself nodding before you crawled into his lap and proceeded to fuck on his couch. The first of many times the two of you slept together.

Nowadays things have not changed much. The two of you had become dependent on each other between the time this arrangement started and now. No matter how much you knew this could hurt you in the end, you never left his side and he never left yours.

As time progressed the two of you became almost completely shameless, Hyojong was into a lot of things you’d never even considered and he always had something new to try in the bedroom, the living room, the shower, even the kitchen. Hwitaek was pretty oblivious to the two of you up until summer of last year when he came back from work and caught the two of you in the act on the couch. You were more embarrassed with being lectured by Hwitaek about respecting the public space of the apartment than anything else. Nevertheless, he didn’t catch you in the act again.

The call was answered from either no matter the circumstance or the time. You were always there for him, he was always there for you. It was just how the two of you worked best. Until she came into the picture.

Hyojong had met a girl at his job, she was a pretty young woman named Nami. She was only a year younger than Hyojong and really sweet to both you and Hwitaek. At first, she was only a friend. The two of them would work together, maybe grab dinner after their shift and then after dropping her off, Hyojong would come back to you. The two of you would do your thing and then he’d see her at work the next day for the routine to repeat.

When things started to get a little more serious, you backed off. If Hyojong liked this girl he was free to pursue her and it definitely seemed like he did. You addressed it one night when Hyojong had come to your place after dropping Haemi off.

“Ya know, if you like her you should give her a chance.” You brought it up around a pot full of ramen and a rerun of your favorite variety show you watched together.

“Who?” 

“Nami. She sweet, both Hwitaek and I like her. She has hearts in her eyes when she looks at you Jong.” You weren’t upset per se, you wanted him to be happy.

“She is sweet, but she not someone I see myself with.”

“Why?” His response was not what you were expecting.

“She’s too sweet. I don’t want to use naive because she isn’t but I would only corrupt her.”

“Nothing stopped you from corrupting me.” You deadpanned.

“You were already corrupted, I just help finish what was started.” His forefinger bopped your nose.

“Funny.” You flicked a piece of noodle at him. “I’m serious though Jong, you seem happy when you’re around her. Give it a shot, you might end up loving her.”

“I already have enough people in my heart.” He wiped the noodle from his forehead, you didn’t see the way he looked at you in the moment.

“Gross, don’t say cheesy things like that while I’m eating I’ll get indigestion.”

“I’ll think about it.” He answered seriously after a minute.

“Good. I just want you happy.” The nice moment evaporated as the ramen was devoured. 

And your night went on like usual, cuddling while watching TV until the things escalated. Hyojong had whispered into your neck as he left a few marks about one last time together. You gave in like you always did, you enjoyed every second of it too. Then the two of you fell asleep tangled together, trying to prolong your time together. The next day at work he asked Nami out on a date to see how things would go and she gladly accepted.

A month had gone by, Hyojong and Nami were taking things slow. And you had kind of been seeing this guy but not really, to keep yourself occupied and not thinking about Hyojong all the time. Hwitaek had noticed the change in atmosphere around you and Hyojong almost immediately and had been pestering you about it since the first day. You’d managed to change the conversation or avoid bring alone with him for the most part. That was until tonight when you stopped by to see Hyojong like you did every Saturday night to find only Hui and then he swooped in and practically demanded to know what was going on. You couldn’t avoid it anymore.

“He’s trying out a relationship with Nami.” You took a piece of carrot he just cut up and munched on it. Hwitaek had been on a cooking kick lately and made sure you ate with them as often as possible.

“That’s great and all but what about you?”

“I’m kind of seeing a guy.” You shrugged, not noticing the worried look on Hwitaek’s face.

“You’re okay with him just dating some other girl?” He finished cutting carrots and moved onto celery.

“Of course, we aren’t dating.”

“I know the two of you just sleep together whenever, super casually and pretty often thanks to all the used condoms I’ve found.” You shrugged, trying to be embarrassed. “I’m glad you were being safe but the two of you are together every day, have been for the four years I’ve know you. Nami coming into the picture isn’t causing a weird unrest on feelings? Digging up any jealous?”

“Not really. I encouraged Hyojong to ask her out. Hwitaek, I’ll always love Hyojong, that much is obvious. I don’t remember life without him okay, but we don’t have to be in each other’s lives the same way all the time. This time apart now, it makes me appreciate the time we have together later on.”

“Okay...” He paused, the two of you sharing a look. “The two of you haven’t slept together since he started seeing --”

“No Hui, God. We may have gotten into some shit before and been a little wild but I respect his choice to be faithful to her.”

“I know you are, you’ve got a good character. I was asking more about Hyojong? He seems serious about her?”

“As far as I can see, yea. Why?”

Hwitaek rubbed the back of his neck, you could see the mix of emotions on his face before he sighed. He set the knife down, rinsed his hands and dried them before walking around to stand right in front of you.

“He got drunk the other night and confessed to me that while he’s with Nami he can only think about you and he doesn’t know what to do. I didn’t know if I should say anything because it’s going to put you in a weird situation knowing but it felt right that you knew.”

“When this started we weren’t sure about our feelings for the other, if we really loved each other in that way, or if we just grew dependent on each other. Seems like Hyojong’s feelings have moved towards the first option.”

“And you don’t feel the same?” Hwitaek’s head tilted a little. “You two acted like a couple up until Nami came into the picture. Hyuna and I had placed bets to see when the two of you would get together and who would make the move.”

“Good to know we’re starting your gambling careers, I claim no responsibility.” You rolled your eyes.

“Serious question,” Hwitaek ignored your playful jab. “If Jong came to you and wanted things to go back to how they used to be, would you?” His hands cupped your elbows, making sure you focused on him.

“For Hyojong, of course.” There was no hesitation for you. “Like I said, I love him and I’d do anything for him.”

“You know he would do the same right? If you told him you wanted things to go back to how they were, he’d leave Nami in a heartbeat.” You stared at the buttons of his stripped button up, unable to look in his eyes.

“I know that. He told me after their first date.” You mumbled almost feeling bad.

You felt like you had Hyojong waiting for you to make the call, even though you just wanted him happy, that’s it. It never occurred to you later on that maybe he was happy with you. You were always happy with him, even on shitty days and days you just wanted to die. No one made you feel like Hyojong did, emotionally, mentally, sexually. He fulfilled you in every way, made you feel more put together, more ambitious. You weren’t sure what your future looked like but you knew if Hyojong was by your side things would be okay.

Hwitaek left you to your thoughts and had gone back to cutting vegetables for dinner. He had just started frying the meat when keys in the door caught your attention. Both of you shared a look before a silent promise of secrecy was made. Moments later Hyojong, a little tipsy, bounded into the apartment with Nami in tow trying to keep him on his feet.

“Hello Hwitaek, hello (Y/N), Jong had a few too many drinks tonight and I wanted to bring him home before he did anything too stupid.” Nami giggled, struggling to keep Hyojong on his feet.

You rushed over to take half his weight as Hwitaek instructed the two of you to go throw him on his bed. With a little bit of maneuvering Hyojong was laying on his side on his bed. Nami swiftly moved to remove his shoes and brush his hair out of his face before nodding to herself.

“Thank you for helping.”

“No problem, it’s not the first time I’ve had to carry his drunk ass home.” You nodded towards the doorway. “If you need a second I’ll be in the kitchen with Hui.” And you left the bedroom.

“He alright?” Hwitaek asked as he moved the cooked meat to a plate and the uncooked to the pan.

“Seems to be, he’s got Nami to take care of him.” You didn’t miss the look Hui gave you.

You didn’t know if it was because this was her first time bringing him home drunk or the conversation from earlier, but seeing the two of them together made your chest hurt. You moved towards Hwitaek and started to clean up after him a little and get plates out for the food. You were debating on getting a third plate for Nami when she walked back into the kitchen, her voice grating on your nerves.

“Don’t worry about me, I’m heading home because I’ve got the early shift tomorrow. Here’s Jong’s phone, I’ll text it when I’m home just in case something happens. Have a good night.” She bid her goodbyes and you stared at Hyojong’s phone on the counter.

It wasn’t a huge deal. Hwitaek and Hyojong always made you and Hyuna text them when you arrived home but Nami taking Hyojong’s for some reason irked you. Taking a moment to yourself you realized you were overreacting because technically, Nami and Hyojong were dating. You shouldn’t be the jealous best friend, it’s okay.

As you were closing the cabinet where the plates were kept, Hwitaek had finished most of the cooking and was letting it cool as he started to move stuff to the small table in their “dining room.” Which was just a little connecting wall between the living room and kitchen. You were getting two glasses to fill with soda when Hwitaek let out a surprised noise. Spinning on your heels you focused on Hyojong leaning against the threshold staring right at you.

“Get a plate for him, he probably needs to eat.” Hwitaek helped get Hyojong into a seat before taking the glasses from you.

As the three of you finally sat down to eat there was no conversation. When you left Nami and Jong he was completely unconscious, barely ten minutes had passed before he joined you and Hui. You were trying to think of what to say when Jong spoke up.

“I didn’t know you’d be here tonight.” Hyojong looked anywhere but you.

“It’s Saturday.” Hui beat you to answer. “It’s your weekly lazy nights, of course she’d be here.”

If Hyojong detected the venom in Hui’s tone he didn’t acknowledge it. You felt out of place in that moment, Hui’s feathers were ruffled for you and Hyojong seemed almost indifferent.

“I forgot.” Hyojong’s tone was defeated.

“You did.” You agreed, eating slowly and watching Jong carefully.

“I’m so sorry.” You and Hui watched in complete and utter shock as Jong broke down into tears. “I forgot our day, I keep getting distracting and I’m forgetting my best friend.”

“How much did he drink?” Hui leaned over and whispered, watching Hyojong sobbed.

“I wasn’t there dumbass I was with you.” You whispered back. “Uhm, C’mon Jong, let’s get you back to your room. We can talk tomorrow.” You put your utensils down waiting to help him up.

“No, you won’t be here in the morning.” There was a sad defiance in his tone.

“I will, I promise.” Your heart tightened at his current state, he only drank this heavily when something was eating him alive.

“Spend the night?” You swallowed a lump in your throat and nodded.

“I’ll spend the night.” With that Jong let you pull him to his feet and after assuring Hui you were fine you lead him towards his room, a place you knew well.

It took a few minutes to get him pretty much undressed and get his inebriated self into something resembling pajamas. You had dampened a wash cloth and wiped down his face, admiring his features like you usually did. By the time you had he decent for bed Hui popped his head into Jong’s room.

“We don’t have anything to help his hangover for the morning and we’re out of food for breakfast. I’m going to head to the connivence store down the street.”

“You’re just going to leave me alone with him??” For the first time ever, panic set in at the thought of being alone with Hyojong.

“He’s practically passed out, sit with him till I get back and then we can watch movies or something if you’re not tired.”

“Fine. Be quick.” As Hui nodded and left you resigned yourself to mumbling profanities to yourself as you sat beside Jong.

Without much thought you started threading your fingers through Jong’s hair as your mind wondered. Did you really love him in any way other than just a friend? The feeling of seeing him draped around Nami earlier would attest that you did. The nest question, have you always felt this way and just suppressed it or is it new?

As your time with Hyojong started to replay in your mind you didn’t notice Hyojong attach to you, his arm wrapping around your stomach and holding onto your body.

“Mhm (Y/N), you stayed.” He sounded content.

“I did, I promised I would.”

“I tried so hard but I couldn’t do it.” He mumbled, his words were much clearer than they were before even with his head turned away.

“What are you talking about Jong?”

“That night you talked to me about Nami the first time, you told me that she’d be good for me. And she is, but she’s not who I want to be with. I tried to be the good guy, I tried to be a guy who she would like. But I can’t do it anymore.”

As he continued speaking you realized he was not as drunk as everyone had thought.

“Were your faking it?” He nodded.

“I only had two drinks at the bar but Nami reminded me it was Saturday. I realized I had forgotten our tradition and as I was thinking about it I realized I’ve forgotten about you a lot lately. I haven’t been answering your calls or texts like I used to. I felt like we were drifting away and we can’t do that. I love you (Y/N). I love you too damn much to let someone who is nothing more than a friend get in the way.”

“Why didn’t you just tell me?” You asked bewildered as he rolled over and sat up, facing you full on. “I will always be there for you Hyojong, no matter what, I have no shame in saying that.”

“I know, I just. I wanted to try for you, but I can’t when no one can hold a candle to your light. Why did you want me to go out with Nami? Why?”

“I was afraid, confused?” You sighed. “I don’t know Jong. Someone else popped up in your life and she seemed to be a good change of pace. We may make each other happy but we aren’t the best for each other. You picked up smoking, we drink too much for it to be good for our health. We just enable the other to continue to act recklessly.”

“You wanted reckless and I wanted stability.” He shifted on the bed to rest back on his knees, he was taller than you now. “We’ve spent so many nights together after drinking too much spilling our guts to each other. I know how broken you are and you know how broken I am. We’re barely being held together at the seams. If you want me to try to fix you, this right now is not enough. You’ve told me time and time again how scared you are to be loved. Yet you thrive on chaos and unpredictability. You’re the structure I need to keep from losing my goddamn mind. Why can’t you see that?” His tone was calm, never once raising in pitch. His eyes flitted between each of yours, searching for anything you could be hiding.

Your hands rested on his that were against your face, your leant into his warmth. You missed the feeling of his hands on you, especially the sweet, fondness in how he cupped your cheeks. This man was baring his soul to you and all you could think about was how selfish you had been recently.

“Tell me. Who’s gonna love you like me? Who has proven time and time again that I will always be by your side? I’m nowhere near perfect, you and I both know that, but damnit I would do anything for you.”

“You’ve loved me longer and better than anyone else in my life.” You answered him quietly.

“Then what is stopping us from taking this full circle? I’m not saying we run off and get married next week, but c’mon.” There was a desperation in his voice you’d never heard before. “Nami is a nice girl, but every moment spent with her is a moment I spent missing you.”

“That was the corniest shit.” You giggled, not realizing a few tears had slipped down your cheeks.

“Hey, this will be the last time I beg you to stay okay. Because you’re not leaving my side again. And I’m taking this moment right now to confessed my undying love you.”

You let Hyojong drag you onto the bed and he rolled around until he was laying on top of most of your body. He boxed you in with his arms and stared at you with a glint in his eyes, a glint you knew well.

“Can I kiss you?”

“You’ve never asked so sweetly before.” You quipped, relishing in your current predicament.

“I’ve practiced a lot of self control over the last month, even though all I’ve thought about is you.” He shifted to lean on one arm as the other moved down your body. His free hand tracing every part of you he could reach. “How your body curves, how it reacts to my slightest touch, the noises you make for me.”

“You’re treading in dangerous territory Hyojong.” You tried to sound stern but the featherlike touches had set goosebumps growing in their wake.

“Can I do more than just kiss you?”

“I’d really like that.” You nodded, trying to keep your smile at bay. “And Jong? I’m confessing my undying love back.”

You kissed him, preventing any more words for the time being. With what followed, well both of you would be feeling it in the morning no doubt but you were happy. Shameless as the two of you were, together it didn’t matter because you had each other. And you were okay with it.

[onlovestreetwithjimmorrison]

Here is another edition of The Doors on The Jerry Springer show!

Jerry Springer: My next guests are 4 men who you know as The Doors. Please welcome Jim Morrison to the show!

Jim: That's Lizard King. How many times do we have to go over this?

Springer: Moving on. Please welcome Ray Manzarek to the show.

Ray: I am Raymond Daniel Manzarek, born 12 February 1939.

Jim: Fuck Ray! Are you going to say that shit every time we are on the show? No one gives a damn when you were born or what your full name is!

Springer: Please welcome Robby Krieger to the show.

Robby: This is stupid. Why are we here again for the 3rd time? All it ever becomes is the Jim Morrison Fiasco show.

Springer: Please welcome John Densmore to the show.

John: *points at Jim* This asshole steals girls from me. OK so first he was with Sarah, like before we started playing at The London Fog. Then while we were doing shows there this Canadian girl shows up. So I start talking to her between sets and offer to buy her some apple juice. Jim saunters over sits down starts talking to her and next thing I know she's going home with him and Sarah and from there on out he was always with both of them.

Jim: *throws a char at John* I had to rescue the Canadian girl. Geeze she looked like she was going to vomit while you sat there and tried to talk to her and put your arm around her. And apple juice? Hell even Sarah doesn't want that and she doesn't drink!

John: Fuck you Jim! So then we eventually end up getting fired form The London Fog and end up at the Whiskey A Go Go. While there I spot this girl out in the audience eating pop tarts. I am intrigued and go to talk to her between sets. Of course again Jim saunters over, takes a bite of the girl's pop tart and its like I don't exist.  Later that nite I see Jim, Sarah, Canadian girl and Pop-Tart girl all leaving together. Of course from then on he was always with those 3 girls. What the fuck does he need 3 girls for? Oh and get this, the 4 of them live in room 32 at the Alta Cienega Motel.

Robby: *throws a chair at John* OMG what is wrong with you? Why do you keep going after girls way out of your league? I mean obviously if they are with Jim they are WAY out of your league. Did you ever try to get with Sarah?

John: Oh fuck no! That girl is too much. She's too emotional. You see how Jim is with her and OMG she is so damn clingy literally and figuratively. She expects him to always be touching her. Anytime you see them sitting somewhere he's got his hand on her knee. I don't want want to be with a girl like that.

Ray: John go to Toys R Us, get a barbie doll and date it, that's about all that is in your league!

Springer: May I ask why there is so much fighting. You are fighting worse than the last time you were here.

Jim: Ask them. They are the problem, not me.

Robby: *throws a chair at Jim* OMG you are so delusional. You are the fucking problem! Your entire life revolves around your 3 girls. And since you're a Door it fucks with our lives. If one of those girls has something to do that you consider more fun than recording you blow off the studio and hang with them.

John: Oh like you are so innocent Robby! Yesterday we couldn't record for 45 minutes because you were enthralled with a damn lava lamp!

Robby: Buzz off John. You know Jim is affecting us! Like last nite during our concert it was his nite with Canada girl, whatever his nite with her means. Anyhow instead of singing When The Music's Over he starts singing the Canadian national anthem and grinding up against the microphone stand and moaning her name. It was disgusting.

Ray: It was bad.

John: What the hell? You started playing the Canadian national anthem on your keyboard. Oh and don't forget about friday nite when it was Jim's nite with Pop-Tart girl. That was gross in a whole other way.

Springer: What did he do?

Robby: He pulled out a box of cherry Pop-Tarts and started just shoving them into his mouth like 2 at a time. There were crumbs everywhere. And he tried to sing Back Door Man with a mouth full of Pop-Tarts. And then after he eats all those Pop-Tarts he spends the rest of the concert burping and bitching about his indigestion.

Jim: *throws a table at John, Robby and Ray*You three are so fucking jealous of me. The audience loved both of those shows!

Ray: What about the nite before last when it was his nite with Sarah? OMG that was pathetic. He kept looking at a picture of her while he sang and then during Love Street he ran off the fucking stage sat next to her and stared into her eyes for 5 minutes. What the hell was that?

Springer: Care to explain Jim?

Jim: *grabs John's apple juice and dumps its over Ray's head* These three clowns are jealous of me. They don't have the joy and happiness in their lives that I do. Like look at Ray, he's married to one woman and they live in a house together. What the fuck is that? My life is exciting and happy. I live with 3 girls in a motel room.

John: Fucking hoe! Jim, you are nothing but a stupid slut.

Jim: *dumps his plate of spaghetti over John's head* I am sick of this shit! This is not what I signed up for when I wanted to be in a band. Keep this shit up and I'm out.

John: *grabs a pair of scissors and cuts off a chunk of Jim's beard and long hair* Good! Leave the band. No one wants you in it anyway!

Jim: *screaming and crying* OMG you asshole! Now I have to shave my beard! Sarah is going to be pissed as hell she loves my beard. And Canadian girl is going to be furious that my long hair has to be cut short because of you. I hope something really bad happens to you John Densmore!

Springer: I think maybe we should end this before anyone gets hurt.

*two girls from the audience rush to the stage and to Jim* OMG honey are you OK? You're beautiful hair and beard! They're ruined!

John: OMG you two are ridiculous. Where the hell is the Pop-Tart one?

Canadian girl: *desperately trying to style Jim's hair so the cut off chunk doesn't show and he doesn't have to get his hair cut off* Don't worry she is here. You are a sick bastard.

Sarah: *stroking Jim's beard* Its OK honey. I'll shave your beard for you and it will grow back in no time. John had no right to cut off a chunk of it.

John: OMG this is ridiculous. You two are coddling him. He is a grown man. He doesn't need that.

Pop-Tart girl: *rushing onto the stage* Jim I have the Pop-Tarts. They will make you feel better.

Ray: *throws a couch at Jim, Sarah, Canadian girl, Pop-Tart girl, John and Robby*You are all making the band look bad! No one is going to want to buy our upcoming album!

Jim: Eh its shit anyway. Robby wrote a few of the songs on there. And its called The Soft Parade. Oh and Ray you are ruining the band's image by throwing stuff at us and screaming!

Springer: We are going to have to leave it at that. This is getting to be too much.

Jim: Now you see what I deal with on a daily basis. Its not easy being the lead singer and only sane member of The Doors.

Robby: *throws a char at Jim*  You are so full of shit. You act like this band would fall apart without you. What a bunch of BS. We do not need you. I can write and sing just as good as you if not better.

Ray: OK lets stop this before we say something we'll regret! We are all equally important to the band and we are  all interesting people and we all have something to offer.

Jim: OMG We all do not have something to offer. You basically told John to screw a barbie doll because he can't do better.

Ray: I was speaking the truth about John.

Robby: Even the barbie doll may be out of his league.

Jim: The package the barbie comes in is out of John's league. About the only thing in his league is that damn stalk of romaine lettuce, I think some of you know what I am talking about. If you'll excuse me I am going back to the motel with my 3 girls. John have fun back in your room with your apple juice and romaine lettuce!

John: Fuck all of you. I can get any girl I want.

Robby: Then how come Canadian girl and Pop-Tart girl are with Jim? You hit on both of them and yet somehow Jim has them. And what you said about why you never tried to get with Sarah is BS. You you she would flat out turn you down. You knew just like we all did that she only has eyes for Jim.

Springer: And lets end it at that. We'll have The Doors on again where hopefully they can finally resolve their differences. Good nite everyone!

The end.

[janeaustentextposts]

Hi! You talk quite a bit about adaptations, could you give your thoughts on some adaptations of other classic novels, ones you particularly like or hate?

Well, let me think. I’ll give you the rundown on literary adaptations I like or love, as it’s getting late in the evening here and a bout of solid rage isn’t going to send me off to sleep so much as bring on a bout of indigestion. Also I went to review my DVD collection and for obvious reasons I don’t own many DVDs of things that I loathed. (I do recall nearly bursting into tears after a matinee viewing of I Capture the Castle because I felt the movie ended on such a bittersweet note that I was not prepared to walk out of a darkened cinema into a sunny day with birds singing while I was still Feeling a Lot of Unhappy Things, and so I felt like I hated that movie for a long time because of the sheer mood whiplash of it all. Also I wish I’d read the book first. The book is lovely, and I think I’d’ve stomached the film better, had I gone through the book first.)

Oh! I just remembered The Wings of the Dove (1997). I should have loved it, it had a lot going for it, buuuut fuck that movie and everyone involved in it, it just fell flat, for me. I don’t even care how critically-acclaimed it was, all the characters are The Worst and I never have a moment’s sympathy enough to care what happens to any of them. I hate even thinking about this movie and it is largely responsible for how much I despise Helena Bonham-Carter to this very day. Her and Jeremy Irons (who I admit I have many more personal issues with ‘cause he’s a silver-spoon gross-ass fuckshit.) A movie has got to be pretty damn brilliant on several other points for me to get past the knee-jerk rage I feel whenever either of them appear on-screen.

Also The Portrait of a Lady was terrible and riddled with pointless alterations and please just read The Making of a Marchioness, instead. Maybe I should add Linus Roache to my shitlist as he’s in this one, as well as The Wings of the Dove.

And now for adaptations I liked:

Wives and Daughters (1999) is quite good, in my view, and the ending they added to Gaskell’s unfinished work is quite satisfying, I think. (I don’t know about realistic, but it was sweet and simple and I dug it.)

Orlando (1992) Beautifully done. (Billy Zane! I love him in everything and I literally don’t even know why.)

Little Women (1994) is a classic, but I’m also very excited to see what Heidi Thomas and Vanessa Caswill do with the new miniseries from the BBC and PBS next year.

Daniel Deronda (2002) It’s prettyyyyyy. And so is Jodhi Maaaay.

Washington Square (1997) has a beautiful soundtrack, solid direction, and a stellar cast.

Girl with a Pearl Earring (2003) had some great cinematography and a good cast.

Dangerous Liasons (1988) I have such mixed feelings about Malkovich in this one but Glenn Close, holy shit she’s good.

Bridget Jones’s Diary (2001) A TRUE CLASSIC LITERARY ADAPTATION I WILL FIGHT EVERYONE. THEN PAY FOR THE RUINED GREEK RESTAURANT.The Remains of the Day (1993) A somewhat underrated classic that I think perhaps unfairly sits in the shadow of Howard’s End a lot of the time, what with the comparisons of the Thompson-Hopkins casting in a Merchant-Ivory film. (I do like Howard’s End, but, again, Helena Bonham-Carter, and I just connect a lot more with The Remains of the Day, as a story.)

Wide Sargasso Sea (2006) I don’t recall unabashedly loving this one, but I own it, so I feel like I must’ve liked it well enough. Then again, I also just found a copy of Sweeney Todd still in its plastic-wrap that I don’t know how I came by, I don’t even like the concept enough to want to watch it in the first place. Also, Helena Bonham-Carter is in it. And Johnny Depp. Why the fuck do I even own Sweeney Todd? Anyway, Wide Sargasso Sea is alright, though I feel like I preferred Karina Lombard’s Antoinette to Rebecca Hall’s.

The Scarlet Pimpernel (1982) I’m pretty sure this is where Jane Seymour and Anthony Andrews made me bi and SIR IAN MCKELLEN HOW DO YOU DO?

Perfume: The Story of a Murderer (2006) HOW DO YOU FILM SMELLS? LIKE THIS. MY GOD. (Also please read the book.)

Dracula (1992) I mean, the cast swings between pretty good and absolutely wooden, but from a literary standpoint this is one of the more faithful adaptations of Stoker’s novel out there–though this movie is by no means The Best Anyone Could Do. There’s a lot wrong with it. But then Coppola didn’t need to include the blue fire thing, but he did, and I appreciate that.

Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein (1994) is worth it for Robert de Niro, alone; and maybe a handful of really, really good shots. Otherwise there’s too much Helena Bonham-Carter and also Ken Branagh just recently hauled himself onto my shitlist but GOOD NEWS the character of Victor Frankenstein was always an annoying fucko and that’s canon, so feel free to hate him throughout, anyhow.

The Tenant of Wildfell Hall (1996) Does not get enough love. A good antidote to Jane Eyre and Wuthering Heights for anyone who sat there thinking Rochester and Heathcliff were BIG PILES OF RED FLAGS. Wildfell is a cautionary tale, but actually ends reasonably happily (and more believably happily, IMO, than Jane Eyre.)

The Secret Garden (1993) Pure nostalgia for this one, excellent casting, and the same director as Washington Square.

Ivanhoe (1982) Sam Neill has no business making a villain that compelling. (I know, I know, Bois-Gilbert’s characterization is softened a lot in this adaptation.) And this time I’m bi for Neill and Olivia Hussey. Sorry, Anthony Andrews, you drop to second-slot in this love-fest. Also Rowena ruins everything but that’s canon, so what can you do?

Maurice (1987) Who doesn’t love a fluffy gay gamekeeper?

Cousin Bette (1998) Changes stuff from the book, and on the whole the story can be a bit rocky, especially in the second half or so, but it’s worth seeing for Jessica Lange, alone, I think, as well as some broadly comic notes from side-characters in Hugh Laurie and Bob Hoskins.

Possession (2002) Ignore Gwyneth Paltrow as best you can and otherwise enjoy the literary mystery unfolding in between some amazing flashbacks. Most of the good actors are crammed into the flashback bits, but at least there’s some snarky Tom Hollander and dastardly-but-personally-I-think-he’s-in-love-with-Roland Toby Stephens in the modern-day sections to give us some fun.

Twelfth Night (1996) Again, ignoring Helena Bonham-Carter, this one’s got a lot going for it. Trevor Nunn directing, Toby Stephens managing to be damn fine and somehow I don’t entirely mind that Orsino’s kind of a douchebag, Imogen Stubbs being cute as fuck, and stellar supporting actors.

The Inheritance (1997) Look, this is a little-known Louisa May Alcott thing, and I’ll be honest, it’s not Groundbreaking Television. As far as direction and score and acting and script goes, there is no danger of anyone ever losing sight of the fact that it’s a made-for-TV-movie from 1997 and Meredith Baxter was probably the biggest name they could get for it at the time. Anyway, there’s a reason I own it, and that reason is that watching it is the equivalent of a big mug of hot chocolate after a terrible day. It is pretty and sweet and funny and the villains and heroes are clearly marked from the moment they appear on-screen, and is it perhaps a bit too sweet? Yes. Embrace the sugar-shock.Titus (1999) Goes on a little long, perhaps, but you can’t look away. Anthony Hopkins and Jessica Lange go toe to toe and it’s a thing of horrific beauty. Shhh don’t question the batshit bloodbath, just let Julie Taymor do her thing.

Enchanted April (1991) Run away to Italy with your girlfriends. Just do it.

The Princess Diaries (2001) A modern masterpiece. GET OFF THE GRASS.

Bleak House (2005) Oh my God, this cast??? Is so magnificent?

Persepolis (2007) One of those films that are so good you need to lie down afterwards. Again, please also read the graphic novels.

Any Agatha Christie adaptation, ever–I am HERE FOR IT.

I know I’m forgetting one I thought of earlier, but oh well.

[verdigrisprowl]

July 31 Dancitron Movie Night - Rogue One

Prowl spent the first half of the movie only very reluctantly letting himself get dragged into watching the movie, but then he found out it was about the Spec Ops types being the heroes and from there on out he was completely invested.

The robot was the best character. As usual.

After the movie Soundwave showed Prowl his brain-web-map and Prowl loves it.

Swoop 8:07 pm Bird? Bird! Bird 😆 Bevel 8:07 pm ((finally able to go to a stream for the first time in a week gosh ItsyBitsySpyers 8:08 pm Soundwave is nice and comfy on his couch. He watches Swoop dash in shouting for Laserbeak and just points to the blue tinfoil sheet pack currently nomming out of a bowl on the bar. Swoop 8:09 pm *skitters over to loom harmlessly over his bffl* Hi Bird! ItsyBitsySpyers 8:09 pm She doesn't pause her eating. Just lifts a feeler and pats his face. Swoop 8:10 pm *is pat* <3 ItsyBitsySpyers 8:11 pm {{You Swoop sit here. Us watch good movie.}} Windchill 8:11 pm *Sneaks in real sneaky-like.* Swoop 8:11 pm Ok! *plops where she directs him* GOOD good movie? ItsyBitsySpyers 8:12 pm {{Yep. Bird seen. Betterer than tornado.}} Swoop 8:12 pm :V That pretty good ItsyBitsySpyers 8:12 pm Rumble flicks a snack at the 'sneaky' giant Con. FakeProwl 8:12 pm *appears. sits. chinhands. stares vaguely into the distance.* Whirl 8:13 pm *trots in. Whirl is carrying a rather large and unwieldy panel of metal. And, attached to that panel, is a horrid creature that looks rather like a squashed artichoke* Windchill 8:13 pm *Does a split-second Nosferatu impression in Soundwave's direction, blink and you'll miss it...then takes a seat.* Whirl 8:13 pm ((for reference: )) http://68.media.tumblr.com/47699e71b8b27a72dd631b7736d46dbe/tumblr_inline_njzoxgkkxd1ractlu.png Swoop 8:13 pm *nibbles on the fingers on his wings* Windchill 8:13 pm (( Most beautiful of artichokes. )) Whirl 8:14 pm ((it's chaboi)) best decepticon leader 8:14 pm *edging away from whirl* Whirl 8:15 pm *he pulls out a seat and carefully leans the panel in the chair so that the barnacle has an unobstructed view of the room, and the screen* ItsyBitsySpyers 8:15 pm //Hey, it's Killer!// The twins scramble over to come see. //It eaten yet?// Soundwave pings Prowl hello and nods. Windchill 8:15 pm *Stares in Whirl and Killer's direction, holding back a squeal.* Whirl 8:16 pm Not since this morning. Feel free to ply it with snacks. *gestures grandly and speaks in a rather grand voice* For those of you who have not yet had the chance to make the acquaintance of this noble creature... may I present Killer. best decepticon leader 8:16 pm Has it actually killed anything ItsyBitsySpyers 8:16 pm //An' you SWEAR it ain't knocked up this time?// Windchill 8:16 pm *Gasps in mild offense.* FakeProwl 8:16 pm *surprised optic flicker. oh. right. yes. greetings. pings back.* Windchill 8:16 pm *Of course it's killed something, it's in the NAME.* Swoop 8:17 pm You Whirl make It kill someone NOW! Keheheheh! Better than movie. Windchill 8:17 pm *RAISES HAND* best decepticon leader 8:17 pm NOT ME Windchill 8:17 pm I volunteer to be killed. Whirl 8:17 pm Not yet, but it did dismember a 'Con who was sending his creepy tentacles into my room. I kept the tentacle. Took Killer weeks to eat it. Windchill 8:17 pm As like, tribute. Swoop 8:17 pm *points at Windchill* DO it Whirl 8:17 pm As far as I know, it is not knocked up. best decepticon leader 8:17 pm That's gross FakeProwl 8:17 pm *how many people in this room are suicidal?* Windchill 8:17 pm *+1* Swoop 8:17 pm *is homicidal, thank you* FakeProwl 8:18 pm *at least that gives one reason why whirl and windchill are so into each other* Whirl 8:18 pm It was awesome, is what it was. Windchill 8:18 pm *Wiggles fingers, kill him please.* best decepticon leader 8:18 pm *Starscream too, just doesn't want to be killed by an artichoke* FakeProwl 8:18 pm *soundwave over half your guests want to die, what kind of a crowd are you attracting here* Windchill 8:19 pm *Beggars can't be choosers.* Swoop 8:19 pm *would literally help everyone take care of this problem right now if Soundwave wasn't a butt* FakeProwl 8:19 pm ((im already so glad i requested 80s music tonight)) best decepticon leader 8:19 pm *he thinks it would hurt too much* Windchill 8:19 pm (( GOOD JOB. )) Whirl 8:19 pm ((i am glad u did too 😎 )) Windchill 8:19 pm (( My fave. )) Whirl 8:20 pm *affectionately wiggles a claw at Killer; after a moment it extrudes three very delicate, feather feelers and waves them after the claw* ItsyBitsySpyers 8:20 pm *Soundwave is a natural magnet for other people's despair??* Whirl 8:20 pm Killer thinks I'm food. It's precious. Windchill 8:20 pm *Makes gross whining sounds.* Swoop 8:20 pm What Killer eats? Bot only? keheh. Or other thing? Whirl 8:21 pm Garbage, mostly. But it also eats body parts and glass. best decepticon leader 8:21 pm Glass? Windchill 8:21 pm I am garbage??? Whirl 8:21 pm Scrap metal is its bread and butter. Swoop 8:21 pm Lots of bot is garbage keheh ItsyBitsySpyers 8:21 pm ((FIVE MINUTE WARNING)) best decepticon leader 8:21 pm *covers cockpit* Swoop 8:21 pm Huffer say Dinobots made of scrap Whirl 8:22 pm Please, Starscream. Killer might eat garbage, but it still has STANDARDS. best decepticon leader 8:22 pm EXCUSE ME Windchill 8:22 pm Nothing wrong with scrap. Whirl 8:22 pm Now, if you'll excuse me. *he's gonna trot over to the bar* Swoop 8:22 pm Yah. And Huffer fit lots of cracks in walls, kehehheheh. Whirl 8:24 pm *he pulls his offering for the barkeep out of subspace; it's a box with a number of confections inside. Most of them seem to be some sort of cookie-like treat made out of thin, flaky layers of crystallized energon. Like micah, if it was edible* Windchill 8:25 pm *Puts his hand down, finally.* Swoop 8:26 pm Bird, us have bonfire after movie! : > Windchill 8:26 pm *Y'all missed your chance to be rid of him for good.* Whirl 8:28 pm *and give his beloved barnacle indigestion?* ItsyBitsySpyers 8:30 pm ((Pre-movie warning: Violence, loud noises, death, there might be some flashing, I forget. Otherwise, standard Star Wars stuff.)) Windchill 8:30 pm *It would live.* Whirl 8:30 pm *but it would suffer. can't have that* FakeProwl 8:31 pm *... oh. that was an okay song starting.* Swoop 8:31 pm *snuggles closer to Bird, or as much as one can snuggle a flat plate consuming another plate* Windchill 8:31 pm *Don't mind him if he spends more time admiring the barnacle than watching the film.* Swoop 8:31 pm Rogue meeeaaanns..... Run away? AWOL? Whirl 8:32 pm *nobody could blame you. It's a wonderful barnacle* Tarantulas 8:32 pm *here comes tarantulas just in time for the movie! he's going to sit in front of prowl and lean back on him, should he allow it* ItsyBitsySpyers 8:33 pm *Soundwave focuses his attention on the screen now. He nods to Tarantulas and whoever else came in while he was away and gets settled.* Windchill 8:33 pm Rogue is like... ItsyBitsySpyers 8:33 pm *Ravage fishes around on top of the bar with a paw, feeling for the snacks.* FakeProwl 8:33 pm *starts in surprise. oh. hi. makes a vague noise of acknowledgment toward tarantulas.* Windchill 8:34 pm Rebel, undisciplined, dishonest. Most people here fit the definition. ItsyBitsySpyers 8:34 pm [[He is not undisciplined.]] Tarantulas 8:34 pm *a noise! tarantulas got a noise! good. he's reaching back to briefly pet prowl's helm* Whirl 8:34 pm Killer's not undisciplined. Windchill 8:34 pm Well I am, when I want to be. It's optional. FakeProwl 8:35 pm *starts again. between the noise and the pet, he'd already zoned out again.* best decepticon leader 8:35 pm I'm not undisciplined FakeProwl 8:35 pm *pats tarantulas's helm.* Windchill 8:35 pm But are you dishonest? Swoop 8:35 pm Lot of bot say Dinobots undisciplined it true kehehehj best decepticon leader 8:35 pm undisciplined and dishonest aren't the same thing Swoop 8:36 pm Him have booby trap Swoop 8:37 pm no? best decepticon leader 8:38 pm hehehe booby Swoop 8:38 pm Dead Impact 8:38 pm I'M LATE ItsyBitsySpyers 8:38 pm [[Only by a few minutes. Do join.]] Windchill 8:38 pm I didn't say they were the same thing, I said they were characteristics of rogues. Pay attention. Whirl 8:38 pm So, what'll this get me? best decepticon leader 8:39 pm I am sort of a rogue Impact 8:39 pm *Beelines for Bevel, as per usual* best decepticon leader 8:39 pm I guess Windchill 8:39 pm (( I know, maybe I should select the HD option. EVERY TIME. )) Swoop 8:39 pm Why her hiding? ItsyBitsySpyers 8:39 pm =Depends. What do you want?= Swoop 8:39 pm Her have surprise Them not look ItsyBitsySpyers 8:39 pm {{Them guards find her, take.}} Swoop 8:39 pm Her shoot too ItsyBitsySpyers 8:39 pm {{Kidnap.}} Swoop 8:39 pm Her bite? Keheh. Windchill 8:39 pm A man. *points.* Whirl 8:40 pm The usual, if you got it. ItsyBitsySpyers 8:40 pm =If I don't?= Ravage peeps optics over the counter. Swoop 8:40 pm Kidnap? Windchill 8:40 pm Ew, a prison. Ew, an asteroid. best decepticon leader 8:41 pm Organics are gross Windchill 8:41 pm Ew, a city. Ew, people. Swoop 8:41 pm ????? :V Slag??? Whirl 8:42 pm *cranes his neck to peep back* Then, surprise me. You've not let me down before. Swoop 8:42 pm :V :V :V Lingo 8:42 pm what. Swoop 8:42 pm You outside :V boomtank 8:42 pm -wanders in looking a bit tired- Lingo 8:42 pm so? Allowed. Swoop 8:42 pm *pokes* Keheh Lingo 8:42 pm *smacks* Stahp. Windchill 8:42 pm Spies. Swoop 8:42 pm >.O Keheheheh best decepticon leader 8:42 pm A planet killer? *bad memories* Windchill 8:42 pm Good. *This is interesting enough for him to watch, for now.* Typical. ItsyBitsySpyers 8:43 pm =I do. Only wondering.= A low chuckle. He slides a big cube over. boomtank 8:43 pm ....what is going on? Windchill 8:43 pm *To be fair, he might have done the same thing.* Swoop 8:43 pm You Slag sit sit sit! Movie! You watch with Swoop and Bird! : > *is excite* Impact 8:43 pm One guy had intel but couldn't run away! Windchill 8:43 pm These guys are spies, spy things are happening. Duh. FakeProwl 8:43 pm *prowl would be impressed by this agent, if he was paying attention* Impact 8:43 pm And now we're on the planet he had intel from! Lingo 8:43 pm You Swoop no tell Me Slag what to do >=( Impact 8:44 pm Pay attention to this guy I like him. Whirl 8:44 pm *regards Ravage with amusement and a nod, scooping up the cube and giving him a quick toast* Swoop 8:44 pm PFFF! Fine. Slag go make new friend insteeeaddd! Impact 8:44 pm The guy with the goggles. boomtank 8:44 pm Ah. Okay Lingo 8:44 pm Me Slag no want make 'new friend' You Swoop shuddup Bevel 8:44 pm *wasn't actually here earlier for Impact to go to but is here now. better late than never, will just sidle over to where the little orange kid is sitting and hopes this movie isn't terribly inappropriate for her* Impact 8:45 pm Bevel! 3LD 3:D Lingo 8:45 pm *flumps down in the middle of the walking path just out of protest. Fuck you Swoop* Impact 8:45 pm You didn't miss too much! I was late, too! Whirl 8:45 pm *and now he returns to his seat, plopping down next to Killer and anyone who's sitting near it* Swoop 8:45 pm *chitters and giggles and flops on Bird* Bevel 8:45 pm Oh good. Swoop 8:45 pm *bird is his now dinopile now, butthead* ItsyBitsySpyers 8:45 pm *Bird fusses angrily* Swoop 8:45 pm *new ItsyBitsySpyers 8:45 pm *How can she move like this* Whirl 8:45 pm *snrks* ItsyBitsySpyers 8:45 pm //Some rescue.// Windchill 8:46 pm That might have hurt. Whirl 8:46 pm Just tossed her like a ragdoll. Swoop 8:46 pm *she doesn't move, she stays with Swoop <3 * ItsyBitsySpyers 8:46 pm *Soundwave taps Prowl.* Windchill 8:46 pm *Scratches his chin.* FakeProwl 8:46 pm *starts* Windchill 8:47 pm *That seems like a really short record.* FakeProwl 8:47 pm Hm? Windchill 8:47 pm *But he's not gonna say anything.* ItsyBitsySpyers 8:47 pm @Prowl: (txt): Intrigue, infiltration movie. Prowl not interested? FakeProwl 8:48 pm ... Oh. Is it? ItsyBitsySpyers 8:48 pm *Nod.* Swoop 8:48 pm *perks up at "extremist"* Windchill 8:48 pm *Frowns.* Bevel 8:48 pm Oh, this is about spies and stuff. Impact 8:48 pm Uh-huh! And being heroes! FakeProwl 8:48 pm *looks at movie* What did I miss? ItsyBitsySpyers 8:49 pm [[This human is the daughter of an important enemy figure who is building a massive weapon. They broke her out of jail to see if she would help them.]] Bevel 8:49 pm Being heroes... FakeProwl 8:49 pm This... "Saw" is the enemy figure? Impact 8:50 pm It gets sad, but I like it. Like...really really sad! ItsyBitsySpyers 8:50 pm [[No. A massive empire is the enemy figure. Saw is an extremist rebel.]] Bevel 8:50 pm No spoilers. Shhh. Impact 8:50 pm oh! okay! Windchill 8:50 pm It is a bad idea. Impact 8:50 pm *hands over mouth* Bevel 8:50 pm *paps Impact gently* ItsyBitsySpyers 8:50 pm [[They wish to reach him. He knows her.]] best decepticon leader 8:50 pm It seems that anyone with the name saw is a villain in human movies FakeProwl 8:50 pm So she's related to both ends of the spectrum. ItsyBitsySpyers 8:50 pm [[Yes.]] FakeProwl 8:51 pm Lunatics in both end, I'm sure. ItsyBitsySpyers 8:51 pm *Soft huff.* best decepticon leader 8:51 pm probably Swoop 8:51 pm Everyone get blaster on mission : > Lingo 8:51 pm That dumb. Me Slag no need blaster best decepticon leader 8:51 pm war tends to bring out lunacy in everyone Windchill 8:51 pm Not always. Swoop 8:51 pm You HAVE You don't USE Lingo 8:52 pm No NEED Swoop 8:52 pm Keheh, no one TAKE from You Slag Lingo 8:52 pm Got FIRE FakeProwl 8:52 pm *the token robot is talking about probabilities casually in conversation. prowl decides to like him.* Swoop 8:52 pm Yah, fire. And you STABBY bot, keh. Bevel 8:53 pm We never got called heroes for doing stuff like this. Windchill 8:53 pm Nobody does. Whirl 8:53 pm *quietly watches and occasionally takes a nice big gulp of his gaugebuster* Lingo 8:53 pm Yah. Me Slag stabby bot. no need blaster. FakeProwl 8:53 pm ... So this is the extremist. And the one that's tied up said he's defecting, so he's with the massive empire. Or, WAS with. ItsyBitsySpyers 8:54 pm [[Was.]] @Prowl: [[...You will want to look aside for a few moments, however.]] @Prowl: [[When the Bor Gullet appears.]] Swoop 8:54 pm Him round like You Slag keheh FakeProwl 8:54 pm ... Alert me. Windchill 8:54 pm *Ships interest him less, back to barnacle watching.* ItsyBitsySpyers 8:54 pm ((oop should be text. whatevs, you nkow the drill)) Lingo 8:54 pm Gullet bird thing you Swoop have gullet? Swoop 8:54 pm Carly say uhhhhhh sayyyy .... barrel... barrel chest ItsyBitsySpyers 8:55 pm *Rumble and Frenzy finally hop over to go hang with Whirl. And Killer, if Killer is where Whirl is.* Swoop 8:55 pm Gullet is bird thing Bevel 8:55 pm *that is a big weird shaped station* Lingo 8:55 pm him sparkplug say him got gullet FakeProwl 8:55 pm *something about all this seems vaguely familiar* Windchill 8:55 pm *It's shaped like half of his butt.* Swoop 8:56 pm ((God the cgi)) Windchill 8:56 pm *points* A butthole. Impact 8:56 pm *snickers* Whirl 8:56 pm *Killer is indeed; for the moment its put its cirri away and has closed up; Whirl bobs his head in greeting* What's happening, you two? Bevel 8:56 pm Looks like a really big weapons array or something. Impact 8:56 pm *nods vigorously* *trying very hard to not say spoilers* Swoop 8:57 pm This cool. Swoop want to fly here. Tarantulas 8:57 pm *is getting vaguely emotional at the family mush. springer's on the mind* Windchill 8:57 pm There's deserts on Earth to fly in. Swoop 8:57 pm Lots of good jumping place ItsyBitsySpyers 8:57 pm //Nothin' much. Been practicin' fightin' lately. Jus' ourselves. Ain't been allowed to torque Grimlock off for weeks. Sucks.// Bevel 8:58 pm Which side is Saw on? Impact 8:58 pm ((awwww, tarantulas)) Lingo 8:58 pm Him Ratchet say him put Lo-jack in him Wheeljack. No lose him Wheeljack like humans. Swoop 8:58 pm Me Swoop fly lots of desert. And canyon! Want new place. Wheeljack explode EVERYTHING off keheheh Windchill 8:59 pm Rude. Swoop 8:59 pm Keheh him drop Whirl 8:59 pm Pfft. ItsyBitsySpyers 8:59 pm [[He saw deserts for years. They are warm, but ultimately dull.]] @Prowl: [[Now.]] Windchill 8:59 pm Tentacles? best decepticon leader 8:59 pm ew Impact 8:59 pm *covers eyes* FakeProwl 8:59 pm *looks down* Lingo 8:59 pm What THAT Swoop 8:59 pm Wiggle Whirl 8:59 pm Yeah? Why you guys gotta play it safe all the sudden? Lingo 8:59 pm Me Slag no like .... FakeProwl 8:59 pm *hears the words "bor gullet can feel your thoughts" and can guess where this is going. covers his audials.* Impact 9:00 pm *uncovers eyes* Windchill 9:00 pm *Chin hands.* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:00 pm @Prowl: (txt): Safe. Swoop 9:00 pm It wiggle Lingo 9:00 pm HIM TRY THAT ON ME SLAG FakeProwl 9:00 pm *uncovers and looks up* Lingo 9:00 pm ME SLAG BURN Swoop 9:00 pm It pretty wet squishy You have to burn LOTs ItsyBitsySpyers 9:00 pm [[NO BURNING INSIDE.]] FakeProwl 9:00 pm *quietly* What condition is he going to be in the next time we see him? Lingo 9:00 pm ...me slag burn with LASERS ItsyBitsySpyers 9:00 pm *Passes the data over a personal line so as not to spoil anyone else.* Lingo 9:01 pm *pchew pchew* Swoop 9:01 pm *giggles and pats the ground at Slag* Do! Bevel 9:01 pm *oh a named character, new party member* Lingo 9:02 pm Him Slime Bird no match for Me Slag Swoop 9:02 pm That no bird It fishy wiggle Uhhhh Squid Lingo 9:02 pm it gullet gullet bird thing it slime bird Swoop 9:02 pm Noooo keheheh Lingo 9:02 pm look like You Swoop Swoop 9:02 pm NooooooooooKEHEHEH no Windchill 9:03 pm An explosion would be nice. Lingo 9:03 pm You Swoop slimy bird FakeProwl 9:03 pm *... that's an acceptable outcome. he can watch.* best decepticon leader 9:03 pm propoganda Swoop 9:03 pm what slimy? XD Lingo 9:03 pm Me Slag make explosion! *pchew* Swoop 9:03 pm Grenade Windchill 9:03 pm Good enough. Bevel 9:03 pm Ha, backup plan. ItsyBitsySpyers 9:03 pm *If Slag is breathing fire into the middle of the room, he's getting bridged outside the doors* *He can come back in when he controls himself* Swoop 9:04 pm *that will be never* best decepticon leader 9:04 pm If your plan doesn't have at least 3 backup plans, it's impulse not a plan Windchill 9:04 pm Why do they always put crying babies in these films. ItsyBitsySpyers 9:04 pm [[Agreed, Starscream.]] Lingo 9:04 pm *That might be asking a lot of a dinobot especially if no one's said 'no lasers'* Bevel 9:04 pm Saved newbuild. Good. ItsyBitsySpyers 9:04 pm *Soundwave said no burning things inside the room.* Windchill 9:04 pm *He's not going to say anything about plans, that would be saying too much.* Lingo 9:04 pm *soundwave said No Fire not No Lasers* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:04 pm [[They put crying newbuilds in because war tends to create them.]] Swoop 9:04 pm Oh her shoot leg Windchill 9:04 pm I know that. Still grinds my gears. Swoop 9:05 pm Them steal energon crystal Bevel 9:05 pm Because then you know who the hero is when they save the newbuild. best decepticon leader 9:05 pm War also tends to create baby soldiers *bitter* Swoop 9:05 pm It white FakeProwl 9:05 pm *slowly zoning out again* Swoop 9:05 pm What white means, bird? Impact 9:05 pm It's a trope! ItsyBitsySpyers 9:05 pm ((WOOP i missed whirl's reply my bad)) Windchill 9:05 pm Am I the only one with kids here? FakeProwl 9:05 pm *he's not emotionally invested in this random gunfight* Swoop 9:05 pm Dead dead! Impact 9:05 pm I'm a kid! Tarantulas 9:05 pm *look there's ur robot prowl, get re-invested* Swoop 9:06 pm Kehehehh *likes this guy now* Windchill 9:06 pm Nice. ItsyBitsySpyers 9:06 pm //Boss' tryin' to - heh, that guy's kinda like you.// Whirl 9:06 pm Pfft. Nice. Swoop 9:06 pm Him exploded them keheh Lingo 9:06 pm Hurhurhur Whirl 9:06 pm *cocks his head* You think? Hmm. *he will watch this robot more carefully* Swoop 9:06 pm KAH! Windchill 9:06 pm *Snorts.* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:07 pm //Anyway, Boss' tryin' to get a favor. Gotta chill out for a lil bit.// Sighs. //Scrap's borin'.// Swoop 9:07 pm Why him tap tap? Windchill 9:07 pm He's blind, Swoop. Impact 9:07 pm He's bli-what he said. Windchill 9:07 pm He uses the stick to feel around, I think. Swoop 9:07 pm Oh like Her Toph FakeProwl 9:07 pm *... faded back in for the robot.* Whirl 9:07 pm Ohh. Nice. Lingo 9:07 pm Her Toph no taptap.. FakeProwl 9:07 pm *but then fighting started again so he's faded back out* Impact 9:07 pm Yeah, like Toph! Whirl 9:07 pm I like this guy. Windchill 9:07 pm I've never been been blind enough to need a stick, so I don't know. best decepticon leader 9:07 pm Not the best formation to try to shoot someone in Swoop 9:07 pm KAHAH! Him good fighter Whirl 9:07 pm Vision's overrated, anyway. *waves a dismissive claw* Swoop 9:08 pm Soundwave, you do movie with him all the time Windchill 9:08 pm Yeah, I mean. Bevel 9:08 pm *has no children but Impact is definitely her baby sister now yep* Windchill 9:08 pm I didn't need it. Impact 9:08 pm *3:D* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:08 pm [[He is only in this one.]] Windchill 9:08 pm After I ditched the rifle, anyway. Swoop 9:08 pm KAHAHA Whirl 9:08 pm These two are badass. best decepticon leader 9:08 pm Is he sitting on a corpse? Windchill 9:08 pm Yup. Whirl 9:08 pm *looks back to Rumble* Sounds lame. I'd offer to show you some action myself, but there's not a lot going on in my part of the multiverse, either. Swoop 9:09 pm Keheh, them brother? Whirl 9:09 pm ...maybe next time I go on a graffiti run or something. though. ItsyBitsySpyers 9:09 pm [[They're better than the ground.]] \\GRAFFITI RUN?\\ Tarantulas 9:09 pm *loud snicker* Swoop 9:09 pm kee Windchill 9:09 pm *Snorts.* Impact 9:09 pm *giggles at Chirrut indignation* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:09 pm {{Neheh.}} Whirl 9:09 pm Heh. I think that guy's my favorite so far. Swoop 9:09 pm Them fighters funny. Them best. Whirl 9:10 pm But, yeah. Why not show new Iacon a little old-fashioned Cybertronian style, eh? ItsyBitsySpyers 9:10 pm [[That happened to Prowl once.]] [[The unnecessary blindfolding.]] Bevel 9:10 pm Really? Windchill 9:10 pm Let me guess, more cages. Impact 9:10 pm really? Windchill 9:10 pm More cages. ItsyBitsySpyers 9:10 pm [[Really.]] Swoop 9:10 pm That door suck. Him reach though. Button. Impact 9:11 pm But then they'd shoot him! FakeProwl 9:11 pm *heard his name. what?* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:11 pm //Whatcha write? Or you a drawin' type?// Conspiratorial whisper. Lingo 9:11 pm All door suck when Dinobot come knocking Swoop 9:11 pm Bad window AND door kehheh FakeProwl 9:11 pm ... Your Prowl? Swoop 9:11 pm YAAAHH Tarantulas 9:11 pm *pets prowl more. shh. not u, babe* FakeProwl 9:11 pm *starts* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:11 pm [[Ah. Yes. His. Unless it has also happened to you? But he meant them.]] FakeProwl 9:11 pm *why do people keep TOUCHING him without warning him* Tarantulas 9:12 pm *because tarantulas's paws have prowl magnets in them* Whirl 9:12 pm Usually rude things concerning King Idiot and what unsightly diseases he might or might not have. *takes a nice long draught* Windchill 9:12 pm How long has this Cassian guy been a spy if this is his first cage? Whirl 9:12 pm Maybe he's a very good spy. Swoop 9:12 pm This uhhh this guy, him in other movie ItsyBitsySpyers 9:12 pm [[He could simply be a -good- spy.]] Swoop 9:12 pm Mad Maxx That movie cool Windchill 9:12 pm Perhaps. FakeProwl 9:12 pm What's happened? *manages to pull up a word from his memory* Blindfolding? ItsyBitsySpyers 9:13 pm [[They blindfolded the blind human. He protested.]] FakeProwl 9:13 pm Oh. Windchill 9:13 pm But we've seen how quick he is to sacrifice those around him, so that might be it. FakeProwl 9:13 pm ... Well, I've never been blind, so. Tarantulas 9:14 pm You've been nearly blind, mind you. Windchill 9:14 pm Easier to get away with things with nobody holding you back, I suppose. ItsyBitsySpyers 9:14 pm //Diseases, huh? Listen, you want some whoppers, Frenzy can get like... so many names.// Bevel 9:14 pm Are there three sides? ItsyBitsySpyers 9:14 pm [[To what?]] FakeProwl 9:14 pm Mm. Only partially. Whirl 9:15 pm Every now and then, during the war, they'd knock out my optic. Doesn't bother me that much. ItsyBitsySpyers 9:15 pm \\SONAR RIGHT?\\ Lingo 9:15 pm Him Chip tell me Slag tri-angle have three side. Like me Slag have three horn. Whirl 9:15 pm And, oh, by all means, Frenzy. I'll take any and all suggestions you've got for new graffiti. Bevel 9:15 pm *points to the movie* She said the Alliance was hoping that Saw would help them if they sent her. So Saw is a different side from the Alliance and the Imperials? FakeProwl 9:15 pm *"it's not a problem if you don't look up." hmm...* Whirl 9:15 pm Mm-hmm. My vision's pretty shitty at the best of times, anyway. Tarantulas 9:15 pm *glances at whirl* Sonar? Impact 9:15 pm He's like, a splinter-side! ItsyBitsySpyers 9:15 pm [[Saw is an extremist. A rebel the other rebels believe goes too far.]] Impact 9:16 pm He wants the same thing, but he does stuff like the bor gullet to get it. Swoop 9:16 pm Threeeehooorrrrnnn Lingo 9:16 pm Tri- serah- tops mean three horn Whirl 9:16 pm Yep. I've always got it on. Tarantulas 9:16 pm Good to know then, hyeh. Windchill 9:16 pm He's holding up rather well. Bevel 9:16 pm Oh. Whirl 9:16 pm Built-in, for helicopters. I'd figure for a lot of other vehicles, too. Swoop 9:16 pm You Slag is terrible lizard kehehehhehhehh Lingo 9:16 pm You Swoop is ugly bird >=( Swoop 9:17 pm :V *rude?????* Windchill 9:17 pm *Sighs.* Tarantulas 9:17 pm *oh noooooo. oh no. clutches chest* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:17 pm *Soundwave tilts his helm while listening.* Impact 9:17 pm *is having An Emotion* Bevel 9:17 pm Same sides then. Windchill 9:18 pm *Taps his claws against his chin. Eh.* FakeProwl 9:18 pm ... That's her father in the empire? ItsyBitsySpyers 9:18 pm [[Yes.]] Whirl 9:18 pm *listens, as well* Swoop 9:18 pm ((tara this was made to kill you personally)) Tarantulas 9:18 pm *he's dying of feels* Lingo 9:18 pm This boring feelsy stuff No like feelsy stuff >=T Whirl 9:19 pm Not bad. I don't think I'd have the patience for it but that's a good revenge. Swoop 9:19 pm You Slag no like anything Lingo 9:19 pm Yah. Windchill 9:19 pm *Yup, he's gonna convert as many processes as possible to static to disguise everything beneath.* Swoop 9:19 pm EXPLODE Windchill 9:19 pm Oh, a bigger one this time. Swoop 9:19 pm YAAAAHHHH That BIG ONE Impact 9:20 pm Swoop, look! Swoop 9:20 pm See???? Reach out door. Open. Door dumb. Tarantulas 9:20 pm *he's not blinking to recycle tears behind his visor, nooo, no way* Swoop 9:20 pm Keheh. Impact 9:20 pm He reached through the door like you said! *wasn't tearing up. no sir* Whirl 9:20 pm *those two right there, the staff-wielder and the gunslinger--that's it. That's the ideal* Windchill 9:21 pm *Good, the parent/child stuff is over for now.* Whirl 9:21 pm Huh. There's no reason why he couldn't go. But, well. I can sorta see why he stayed. Swoop 9:21 pm Him suck at running Like Slag Slag terrible runner Awful Mud slow Kehehehehehhhehehh Lingo 9:21 pm You Swoop shitty runner Impact 9:21 pm *middle fingers at krennic* Lingo 9:21 pm Got tiny stump legs Windchill 9:21 pm *But there's no way the film's gonna leave that angst unresolved so he's gonna leave the static thoughts running.* FakeProwl 9:21 pm *well, he's finally consistently paying attention.* Lingo 9:21 pm dumb little tail Swoop 9:21 pm Running for losers. Winners fly. ItsyBitsySpyers 9:22 pm [[Primus below.]] Bevel 9:22 pm That is a really big weapon. ItsyBitsySpyers 9:22 pm Soundwave knows what the Death Star does at full power, but this is more - it has a higher impact than simply watching a planet explode in a second or two. Whirl 9:22 pm That's a Brainstorm-scale weapon. Swoop 9:22 pm Brainstorm? ItsyBitsySpyers 9:22 pm [[It can do worse. This was a small test.]] Swoop 9:22 pm Dead FakeProwl 9:22 pm *but the personal story's leaving him cold and the political story has failed to tell him why they should care about the rebels instead of the empire* Impact 9:22 pm *Cries a little* Tarantulas 9:22 pm *scoffs* Brainstorm? Hardly Lingo 9:22 pm Me Slag no need run fast Me Slag no run from fight Swoop 9:23 pm Fight over before Slag get there kehehh ItsyBitsySpyers 9:23 pm *Would Prowl like backstory? He'll get it, if he asks.* Swoop 9:23 pm :V That AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Bevel 9:23 pm *it's ok, Prowl, Bevel only knows she should care about the rebels/alliance because they're the main focus* Swoop 9:23 pm Us show Wheeljack. Slag, us show him. Wheeljack like. Lingo 9:23 pm .... *gets up* *Tromp-waddles his way over to his brother* *Flops down on top of him* Swoop 9:23 pm :V *is the middle pancake now* best decepticon leader 9:24 pm The Empire is like the Decepticons, that's why Whirl 9:24 pm Brainstorm's the best weapons engineer I know. FakeProwl 9:24 pm *prowl frequently finds the main focus objectionable and unsympathetic* Impact 9:24 pm *blows raspberry at krennic* Windchill 9:24 pm *Snorts.* Bevel 9:24 pm *and because destroying a huge swath of a planet with living people on it as a "test" is bad* Impact 9:24 pm RUDE EMPIRE IS NOT DECEPTICONS Tarantulas 9:24 pm I get the impression you don't know many weapons engineers, then. ItsyBitsySpyers 9:24 pm [[It would have been.]] Windchill 9:24 pm *Raises hand.* Whirl 9:24 pm I know plenty--Wreckers, remember? Just not many who impress me. Swoop 9:24 pm Wheeljack is weapon engineer : > Whirl 9:25 pm *sits up and puts on his Teacher Voice* Yes, Windchill? Windchill 9:25 pm Can we stop comparing the size of weapons engineering dicks with people who aren't even here? Thanks. best decepticon leader 9:25 pm The Decepticons of my universe tried to destroy Cybertron multiple times Lingo 9:25 pm Hur hur hur DICK FakeProwl 9:25 pm *said planet was a hotbed of rebellion and political dissent. Prowl doesn't know they didn't deserve to be used for a weapon test.* Swoop 9:26 pm Dick? Lingo 9:26 pm Swoop. Swoop him said DICK Whirl 9:26 pm Hmm. No. Tarantulas 9:26 pm *squints HARD at windchill* Swoop 9:26 pm *headtilt* Windchill 9:26 pm It's hella annoying. Impact 9:26 pm *pointedly looks in the opposite direction of Starscream* Lingo 9:26 pm dick dick dick Windchill 9:26 pm *Oh no what has he done.* Whirl 9:26 pm Well, too bad. Swoop 9:26 pm *headtilts the other way* Whirl 9:27 pm But it doesn't--the moment's passed, anyway. *waves a dismissive claw* Windchill 9:27 pm Works for me. Tarantulas 9:28 pm *mumbles something about the irony of windchill of all mechs complaining about something being annoying* Swoop 9:28 pm Dick? Lingo 9:28 pm Diiiick Windchill 9:28 pm *Your ego is annoying.* Swoop 9:29 pm :V Lingo 9:29 pm hurhurhur diiiick Tarantulas 9:29 pm *he didn't even SAY anything about himself thank you* Windchill 9:29 pm *Throws up his hands, basking in the chorus of 'dick'* Swoop 9:29 pm *is super into this landing* *wants to DO this* best decepticon leader 9:29 pm How old are you? Whirl 9:29 pm *serenely takes another drink and reaches over to wriggle a claw at Killer idly* Lingo 9:29 pm diiick dick dick Whirl 9:29 pm Now THIS looks like a fun flight. Lingo 9:29 pm hurhur Windchill 9:29 pm Looks like a crash, dude. Bevel 9:29 pm Whoops. Whirl 9:30 pm No visibility in the middle of a storm in a strange canyon? Could be challenging. Swoop 9:30 pm *does his best to fistpump when he only has wings in this form and also is trapped underneath Slag* *a wiggle was made* Windchill 9:31 pm *Snorts.* He's a spy, of course he's a killer. Morons. Impact 9:31 pm 3:c Swoop 9:31 pm *is snuggling his stupid dumb awful big brother and his crush while watching a movie with sweet explosions and exciting low visibility landings, is the happiest borb here tonight* <3 ItsyBitsySpyers 9:31 pm *Sometimes wonders what this Force would be like to touch, were it real.* Impact 9:32 pm *Wonders that sometimes, too.* *Sometimes she thinks it would feel like Soundwave "talking'* FakeProwl 9:32 pm *hasn't the fuzziest idea what the unnamed force they're talking about is supposed to be, so assumes it's tingly magnetic force.* Whirl 9:32 pm *laughs* Bevel 9:32 pm HA Windchill 9:33 pm *Snorts.* Impact 9:33 pm They are Married. Whirl 9:33 pm THAT is how you write a couple. Lingo 9:33 pm Him Beachcomber say it real thing Windchill 9:33 pm *Sighs.* Swoop 9:33 pm What real thing? Whirl 9:33 pm So many bad romances in these movies as of late--finally, a good one. Lingo 9:33 pm Force thing. ItsyBitsySpyers 9:33 pm //Ain't had a good one since the aliens one, yeah?// Swoop 9:33 pm Beachcomber say lot of things, keheheh, funny things Whirl 9:33 pm *pauses to think* Bevel 9:33 pm Aliens one? Whirl 9:33 pm Not really, no. Oh, Shovel--we watched this movie about two warring races of aliens on Earth. Lingo 9:33 pm Yah. Swoop 9:34 pm That ship is triangle Whirl 9:34 pm One of them eventually teamed up with a human, and he made her trophies out of the body of a xenomorph she killed. And then they hunted a giant-ass Queen Alien together. Windchill 9:34 pm Man he's not good at covering his ass. Whirl 9:34 pm The most romantic movie I've seen since the fly one. Impact 9:34 pm ((What is the aliens movie they reference?)) Bevel 9:34 pm Oh that one! ItsyBitsySpyers 9:34 pm *Rumble sighs* //It was sweet.// Whirl 9:34 pm ((Aliens vs Predator)) Tarantulas 9:34 pm *gghhh noo he does not like where this is going* Bevel 9:34 pm That was a good one. Impact 9:34 pm ((i knew it XD)) Whirl 9:34 pm (( 😎 )) Windchill 9:34 pm This will be a good shot. ItsyBitsySpyers 9:34 pm *Soundwave gently nudges Tarantulas with his ankle.* Whirl 9:35 pm You should see the fly one sometime, that was good, too. Windchill 9:35 pm Or at least, moderately challenging. Whirl 9:35 pm *he nods wistfully* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:35 pm *Is he all right down there? Soundwave hasn't been touching him, he hasn't heard.* Swoop 9:35 pm Oh him sniper Like Bluestreak Windchill 9:35 pm Oh boy. Tarantulas 9:35 pm *sw gets a Don't Touch pulse and a nudge away* Swoop 9:35 pm Wet sniper ItsyBitsySpyers 9:35 pm *He will obey it. And assume Tarantulas is not all right down there.* Windchill 9:35 pm *Refrains from making his own wet sniper joke.* Impact 9:36 pm 3:c Swoop 9:36 pm SHOOT Windchill 9:36 pm He's gonna flake. Swoop 9:36 pm No? Lame Whirl 9:36 pm Huh. Wonder why he didn't take it. Swoop 9:36 pm !! FakeProwl 9:36 pm Weak. Swoop 9:36 pm Oh THEM shoot Dead dead dead dead keheh Impact 9:36 pm 3:cccccc Swoop 9:37 pm KAHA Him fall Whirl 9:37 pm She's got guts, though. ItsyBitsySpyers 9:37 pm [[He is a doomed man regardless. The Empire is not known to have sympathy, in this universe.]] Swoop 9:38 pm Me Swoop want to fly, want to go there Lingo 9:38 pm booo dumb fly bots Where swords ItsyBitsySpyers 9:38 pm [[Which does make the other engineers' deaths a waste. A lesson is of little use if the one learning will be murdered.]] Windchill 9:38 pm Well then. Swoop 9:38 pm AHA ItsyBitsySpyers 9:38 pm Pause. [[...Or bombed, he supposes.]] Swoop 9:38 pm DEAD Windchill 9:39 pm They keep flying directly into that gun. Swoop 9:39 pm !!!!! THAT SO COOL ME WANT THAT AWESOME Lingo 9:39 pm ._. Swoop 9:39 pm *full body wiggle* FakeProwl 9:40 pm *a bunch of clearly innocent engineers were shot to punish the guilty one, rather than eliminating the guilty one and moving on. NOW prowl finally has a concrete reason to assume the empire is Bad, if they permit that kind of corruption.* Lingo 9:40 pm ... ........ *warring with his previous statements about not needing a blaster* Windchill 9:40 pm Wait. Why did none of the other bodies get blown off? Tarantulas 9:40 pm *back to clutching his chest with one paw and hating swoop for being a yelly jerk* FakeProwl 9:40 pm *... he still doesn't really CARE, though.* Windchill 9:40 pm *For crying out loud.* Impact 9:40 pm *looks away from screen, teary* Lingo 9:40 pm What him doing Impact 9:40 pm *Notices tarantulas? 3:o?* Swoop 9:40 pm *is a yelly jerk all day every day, buddy* Dying ItsyBitsySpyers 9:41 pm [[Dying.]] Lingo 9:41 pm Him dying too slow Swoop 9:41 pm You Slag go make faster KA Bevel 9:41 pm *stares at screen blankly* Tarantulas 9:41 pm How about you show him how it's done, Slag. *snaps* Lingo 9:41 pm Him Grapple yell when Me Slag stab screen Impact 9:41 pm *brought A HANDKERCHIEF, thankfully* Windchill 9:41 pm *Snorts.* Impact 9:41 pm 3:'( Swoop 9:42 pm Soundwave not yelly bot keheh Impact 9:42 pm *leans on Bevel* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:42 pm [[The very idea, Swoop.]] Bevel 9:42 pm *will pat Impact carefully* Whirl 9:42 pm *drains his cube and sets it aside* Lingo 9:42 pm Swoop why you hang out with mushy bots Windchill 9:43 pm *Raises hand.* Swoop 9:43 pm What bot is mushy bot? Whirl 9:43 pm *Teacher Voice* Yes, Windchill? Lingo 9:43 pm Them all feelsy Swoop 9:43 pm Which? Windchill 9:43 pm Are you drunk and does it increase my chances of holding Killer? Lingo 9:43 pm *tosses head around* Them Windchill 9:43 pm *He's the mushiest.* Whirl 9:44 pm No. Not drunk. And I mean... if you're careful you can pick up the panel. But don't drop it. Windchill 9:44 pm Listen, I'm an expert at holding things. Bevel 9:44 pm *is only mushy if one counts anger as a mushy emotion* Lingo 9:44 pm Me Slag was fighting when me was month old You human not special Swoop 9:44 pm You Slag fighting since ever keheh Windchill 9:44 pm I have kids, remember? FakeProwl 9:45 pm *FINALLY. an engaging conversation.* Windchill 9:45 pm I can be...super careful. Swoop 9:45 pm ooo volcano Lingo 9:45 pm Them come see us Dinobots? Whirl 9:45 pm If you drop it I'm gonna knock your block off. Fair warning. Lingo 9:45 pm Us Dinobots in Volcano FakeProwl 9:45 pm *well, he's halfway through the movie, but at last he has a reason to not regret trying to pay attention.* Swoop 9:45 pm This too fancy for dinobot keheh Bevel 9:46 pm ... ItsyBitsySpyers 9:46 pm //Oh, frag yeah! This guy's badass.// Lingo 9:46 pm Him look like Him moldy-vorp Bevel 9:46 pm Bubble bath. Swoop 9:46 pm ((so is vader naked or what)) Whirl 9:46 pm Who's he? Swoop 9:46 pm ((do people often talk to him while he's in the buff)) ItsyBitsySpyers 9:46 pm Rumble bounces on his seat, and--aww, what? Impact 9:46 pm *can't help but giggle* Swoop 9:46 pm Moldy-vorp??? ItsyBitsySpyers 9:46 pm //Wait, you dunno? Ain't you seen these?// Lingo 9:46 pm Yah Swoop 9:46 pm What Lingo 9:46 pm moldy-vorp. Bevel 9:46 pm Moldy-vorp? Swoop 9:46 pm What is Whirl 9:46 pm Yeah, I--OH. it's THAT guy. I didn't recognize him without the suit. Lingo 9:47 pm him wear black flowy thing got no nose moldy vorp ItsyBitsySpyers 9:47 pm \\WHAT'S WRONG WITH NOT HAVIN' NOSES?\\ Bevel 9:47 pm *thinks* Swoop 9:47 pm moldy??? vorp????? Bevel 9:47 pm I do not have a nose either. Windchill 9:47 pm I suppose my block is a fair recompense. Impact 9:47 pm Me neither! Bevel 9:47 pm *no nose universes unite* Lingo 9:47 pm Why you no have nose? Whirl 9:47 pm I think more of us don't have noses than do. Lingo 9:47 pm Him Wheeljack not give you nose? Bevel 9:47 pm I was born that way. Windchill 9:48 pm *Reaches out with grabby claws, give him the barnacle.* Swoop 9:48 pm Him like Grimlock Impact 9:48 pm Me too! Swoop 9:48 pm Bossy Breath loud keheh ItsyBitsySpyers 9:48 pm Rumble chinhands. Lingo 9:48 pm Him Wheeljack leave parts out Me Slag. Him leave nose off you? Whirl 9:48 pm PFFT. Windchill 9:48 pm Nice pun. Tarantulas 9:48 pm *snicker-hiccup* Swoop 9:48 pm Choke people Windchill 9:48 pm Good job, shiny man. FakeProwl 9:48 pm *... how did he choke him* Lingo 9:49 pm fishy man?? Bevel 9:49 pm Did he use magic to choke him? ItsyBitsySpyers 9:49 pm [[It is the Force.]] Impact 9:49 pm He used the force! Whirl 9:49 pm I mean, if I was an unimaginably powerful fantasy space knight you'd bet I'd crack bad puns all the time. Bevel 9:49 pm ...magic. ItsyBitsySpyers 9:49 pm [[The dark side of it.]] Lingo 9:49 pm Her shiny Whirl 9:49 pm Who'd stop me? Windchill 9:49 pm You crack puns anyway, Whirl. Impact 9:49 pm yeah, kinda sci fi magic! Bevel 9:49 pm *suddenly connects earlier conversations* Voldemort! FakeProwl 9:49 pm Which force? The force of what? Impact 9:49 pm oh! Lingo 9:49 pm Yah him. moldy-vorp Whirl 9:49 pm Well, yes. Windchill 9:49 pm *GRABBY HANDS.* Impact 9:49 pm it's like...the force of life in everything? and some people can control it! Bevel 9:49 pm Magic force. He is a bad wizard. Whirl 9:50 pm *stares at the grabby hands* Windchill 9:50 pm *He wants,,,the barnacle.* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:50 pm [[Yes. There is an entire series concerning this fictional galaxy and its troubles. They explain the Force better there.]] Whirl 9:50 pm *nods towards Killer. It has got its own seat* Impact 9:50 pm *bounces in seat* Swoop 9:50 pm ((so what you're saying is.... they need a ..... new.... hope)) Impact 9:50 pm *just had a great idea for movie night* Windchill 9:51 pm *Fine, he'll get up and get it then.* FakeProwl 9:51 pm Stirring speech, for somebody who didn't care about this fight a day earlier. Whirl 9:51 pm *nudges Rumble* D'you think Vader will come back? (( 😎 )) ItsyBitsySpyers 9:51 pm //Hope so. He ups the scare by like... a billion.// Impact 9:51 pm ((keheheheh)) ItsyBitsySpyers 9:51 pm //Don't matter what he's doin'.// Lingo 9:51 pm Me Slag no care about Decepticon. Fight anyway. Bevel 9:51 pm *would show Lord of the Rings forever on movie nights if she hosted let's be real* Whirl 9:51 pm I'd like to see him in action again. Impact 9:51 pm *would come for all those LOTRS* Windchill 9:52 pm *Gets up and creeps around to loom over the back of Killer's seat before, CAREFULLY, reaching down to pick up the panel and take it back to his chair.* Bevel 9:52 pm *true friends watch all six special edition tolkien movies with you* Whirl 9:52 pm *keeps his optic on the screen, but he's tracking you, Windchill* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:52 pm *Oh. Oh. Do his kind get to be heroes for once?* Impact 9:52 pm *yeaaaaaahhh* *and all 12 hours of behind the scenes content?* Windchill 9:52 pm *Fair enough, if it was his barnacle he'd probably do the same.* Lingo 9:52 pm Where splosions go Bevel 9:53 pm So all the spies and not-heroes are gonna be heroes now and stop the bad weapon? FakeProwl 9:53 pm *spies, saboteurs, assassins—fighting dirty for the greater good. all right. okay. prowl's invested. these are his soldiers.* Whirl 9:53 pm *snickers* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:53 pm \\HAHA!\\ Bevel 9:53 pm *giggles* Impact 9:53 pm yeah! Windchill 9:53 pm *Sits and sets the panel in his lap, propped up against his pale trout belly so Killer can still 'see'* Swoop 9:53 pm *rests his head on Slag's leg* Them pretty cool. Them go leave, do what them want. Break rules. Go fight. Kill. Whirl 9:53 pm *They're flying in the face of authority because authority is being stupid. Whirl likes them, too* Lingo 9:53 pm When us Dinobots do that Him Wheeljack make annoying baby brothers Swoop 9:54 pm heyyyyy Me Swoop am annoying baby brothers Lingo 9:54 pm Yah. ItsyBitsySpyers 9:54 pm *Laserbeak throws the empty bowl at Slag* Whirl 9:54 pm *if his hands go near Killer's mouth, its going to poke its little cirri out and wave them around* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:54 pm *Rude, insulting her minion* Lingo 9:54 pm *gets hit. Lifts head. What was that* *He was in the middle of story time* Impact 9:54 pm *waves hands excitedly* Rogue one! Swoop 9:54 pm *hides bird under his wing, nothing threw the thing, it was your imagination, yes* Windchill 9:54 pm *Windchill has learned to watch his hands around Killer, thanks.* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:55 pm [[They're being very polite for thieves.]] Windchill 9:55 pm *But he'll peer down at it anyway.* Lingo 9:55 pm *plops head back down* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:55 pm *Amused* Bevel 9:55 pm *can get on board with this for sure now* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:55 pm *Laserbeak pats the bottom of Swoop's wing. Good minion* FakeProwl 9:55 pm No need to be rude about it. Windchill 9:55 pm *His spawn isn't here and he needs to pseudo-cuddle SOMETHING after that mushy stuff.* Whirl 9:55 pm ((*grabs my own heart*)) Impact 9:55 pm *happy noise* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:55 pm ((awwww chill)) Impact 9:55 pm I know who he's gonna seeeeend Whirl 9:55 pm ((CHULL)) Swoop 9:55 pm *moves just a little so bird can either peak out or stay hidden* Lingo 9:56 pm *idle-nibbles at Swoop with tricera beak* Swoop 9:56 pm *chitters but does literally nothing to stop it* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:56 pm *She'll stick her feelers out to watch. She has already seen; she's the one who told Soundwave about it.* Windchill 9:56 pm *Looks back up, trying to bother to keep up.* *Snorts.* Being an organic must really suck, sometimes. Swoop 9:57 pm You Slag be rogue again. Maybe us get MORE brothers! : > FakeProwl 9:57 pm Do you think organics KNOW that when they include a token robot, he's always the best character in the movie? Bevel 9:57 pm *mercenaries are viewed pretty poorly by both sides in conflicts so having any of these types being heroes is nice* Windchill 9:57 pm Yeah. Lingo 9:57 pm Me Slag rogue always. Them only care if ALL us Dinobots rogue. Swoop 9:57 pm Oh Snarl never do that ItsyBitsySpyers 9:57 pm [[He doubts they appreciate their own work that way.]] Tarantulas 9:57 pm *snickers at prowl* Swoop 9:57 pm Him have to wake up Him not like that Lingo 9:57 pm Yah. Annoying baby brother. Bevel 9:57 pm I bet some of them do, Prowl. Windchill 9:57 pm Ew, force field??? Lingo 9:57 pm like you swoop Windchill 9:58 pm That's like an energy shield or something? Annoying. Bevel 9:58 pm Yeah. Windchill 9:58 pm I hate those things. Swoop 9:58 pm Me Swoop am awesome baby brother And also Lingo 9:58 pm You Swoop noisy bird thing Swoop 9:58 pm not a baby YAH Lingo 9:58 pm You Swoop baby Swoop 9:58 pm Birds is awesome Nuh huh Lingo 9:58 pm You Swoop small and scream all time you baby Swoop 9:59 pm Scream fun : > FakeProwl 9:59 pm That's a poor plan. Windchill 9:59 pm Sounds like one of my plans, heh. Lingo 9:59 pm Cuz you baby Windchill 9:59 pm On a bad day. Swoop 9:59 pm No Whirl 9:59 pm Pfft. He's good, Prowl, but my favorite is still the monk guy. Lingo 9:59 pm yah Bevel 9:59 pm Sounds like some of the plans we got. ItsyBitsySpyers 9:59 pm [[He said they were spies, saboteurs, and assassins. He never said they had a strategist.]] Huff. Swoop 9:59 pm Me Swoop am bomber Not baby Windchill 9:59 pm The robot is a strategist! FakeProwl 9:59 pm They should ask the robot for one. Lingo 9:59 pm You Swoop baby Windchill 9:59 pm He said so in the beginning. FakeProwl 9:59 pm Who put HER in charge? Whirl 9:59 pm "Make 10 men feel like 100." Now THAT'S a familiar feeling. Lingo 9:59 pm Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay-beeeeeeeeeee Swoop 10:00 pm noooooooo ItsyBitsySpyers 10:00 pm ((mun missed that! thank u chill)) Lingo 10:00 pm Him Swoop is baaaaay-beeeee Swoop 10:00 pm not a baaaaay-beeeeee ItsyBitsySpyers 10:00 pm \\PUH, 10 TO 100. 1 TO 100, THAT'S ME.\\ *Frenzy thumps his chest* Bevel 10:00 pm 1 to 1000. Me. Lingo 10:00 pm Yuh huuuhhh Windchill 10:00 pm (( It's such a one-off comment that if you're not hyper-fixated on K2 it's easy to miss tbh. )) Whirl 10:00 pm *snickers* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:00 pm *SQUINT*

\\...1 TO TEN THOUSAND.\\ Windchill 10:01 pm You people and your numbers... Bevel 10:01 pm *grins*

1 to a million. Swoop 10:01 pm *nips at Slag's toes* Whirl 10:01 pm I've SEEN you in action, Frenzy. I believe it. But Bevel... I haven't seen you fight. ItsyBitsySpyers 10:01 pm *LEAPS to his feet* Whirl 10:01 pm We should remedy that. ItsyBitsySpyers 10:01 pm \\YOU WANNA GO? RIGHT HERE? RIGHT NOW?\\ Lingo 10:01 pm *nips at Swoop's crest* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:01 pm [[Frenzy. Sit down.]] Bevel 10:01 pm *giggles* Windchill 10:01 pm There should be more fighting in general. ItsyBitsySpyers 10:01 pm \\BUT BOSS--\\

[[Sit.]] Swoop 10:01 pm *jokes on Slag, there is absolute minimal feeling in that decorative shit* Windchill 10:01 pm *Nods in agreement at his own statement, then sticks his tongue out at Killer.* Lingo 10:01 pm *clamps down on it. Pulls* Swoop 10:01 pm *it's just for impressing lady birds and the pterodon aethetic* !!!! Windchill 10:02 pm *He knows this is ill advised, which is exactly why he's doing it.* Swoop 10:02 pm *is pulled* Whirl 10:02 pm *Killer probably thinks something very wise when he sees Windchill's tongue. But it doesn't respond* *UNLESS THAT TONGUE IS CLOSE* Lingo 10:02 pm *bleps* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:02 pm *Frenzy growls and gestures to show Bevel that he's watching her before climbing back up near Whirl. He'll get you next time, Gadget.* Lingo 10:02 pm You Swoop slimy bird Bevel 10:02 pm *as the daughter of a prime and any Ratchet that's ever existed, she could probably take half a zombie army, so maybe the first number was only a little overly estimated* Whirl 10:02 pm All right. Next time I find myself in a good, big fight, I'm inviting ALL of you. Windchill 10:02 pm *Lets his glossa snake closer and closer, black and coiling as a leech.* Bevel 10:02 pm Yay! Swoop 10:02 pm That not slime. That You Slag gross spit. ItsyBitsySpyers 10:02 pm \\ME FIRST.\\ Lingo 10:02 pm Nuh uh Whirl 10:03 pm That is to say, Frenzy, Bevel, and Rumble. best decepticon leader 10:03 pm Do I get to punch you if I go? Bevel 10:03 pm Me second! Windchill 10:03 pm *Raises hand.* Whirl 10:03 pm You're not invited. ItsyBitsySpyers 10:03 pm \\DAMN STRAIGHT.\\

//....Hey, why'm I last!?// //Who d'you think TAUGHT her?// Windchill 10:03 pm *Sucks his tongue back in, for now.* best decepticon leader 10:03 pm You said we were all invited Windchill 10:03 pm I was gonna say, I can't go. Bevel 10:03 pm I can carry you both and we can all be first? Whirl 10:03 pm I then specified who I meant by "all." Swoop 10:03 pm Oh look Them bombs Windchill 10:03 pm 'Cause. Swoop 10:03 pm Slag look Them do an explode Whirl 10:03 pm You;re last because you weren't part of the discussion. Lingo 10:03 pm Him twirly Whirl 10:03 pm But, I mean. Obviously, you'd come along. ItsyBitsySpyers 10:03 pm //That's cuz perfection don't gotta brag.// Whirl 10:03 pm *OH BOY the battle couple is at it* *snickers* Swoop 10:04 pm Him have kibble like You Slag Windchill 10:04 pm I'm not what you'd call a warrior. I'm a....worrier. Swoop 10:04 pm No horns Whirl 10:04 pm I wouldn't send a footstool into battle, anyway, Windchill. Lingo 10:04 pm feh him need horns to be like Me Slag Windchill 10:04 pm *That's the truth but it's spoken as a lie. Good luck figuring that out.* Whirl 10:04 pm *WH* *WHAT THE FUCK* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:04 pm ((WOOP i forgot about that sorry prowl)) Whirl 10:04 pm *THIS FILTH??? ON SCREEN* Swoop 10:04 pm ((can you even imagine reading MINIMUM 15 years of emails, skype calls, etc.?)) FakeProwl 10:04 pm ... Is he, per chance, going to tell his underlings WHY all the scientist's transmissions are being called up? ItsyBitsySpyers 10:05 pm [[Unlikely.]] Windchill 10:05 pm *Doesn't even blink at the assault on a robot brain. He's used to it.* FakeProwl 10:05 pm ((i was barely paying attention to the screen so we'll pretend prowl wasn't looking)) Swoop 10:05 pm Whoop whoop! ItsyBitsySpyers 10:05 pm ((GOOD)) FakeProwl 10:05 pm He's not a very good manager, is he. Swoop 10:05 pm NICE Whirl 10:05 pm N-nice. VERY satisfying. Swoop 10:05 pm Them explode whole base :V Lingo 10:06 pm Good Windchill 10:06 pm I don't need to go anyway, technically you've seen me fight before. Lingo 10:06 pm Big splode Whirl 10:06 pm *it looked more like PnP to Whirl* *for shame, movie* Windchill 10:06 pm Even if it was just humans. Whirl 10:06 pm Technically I have, yep. ItsyBitsySpyers 10:06 pm *Rumble squints up at Whirl. What's he stuttering for?* Swoop 10:06 pm KAHAH them just line up Dumb Lingo 10:06 pm pchew pchew Whirl 10:06 pm Oh, hot damn, that weapon he has was NICE. Looked like some kind of laser crossbow. Tarantulas 10:07 pm *smol jump, sits up* Swoop 10:07 pm Laser crossbow <3 Whirl 10:07 pm *he had a minor case of the vapors, Rumble. Shh, shh* Ha! Windchill 10:07 pm *He's back to sticking his tongue out at Killer.* Lingo 10:07 pm (( This is my first time seeing this but from all the screencaps of k2 I did NOT expect him to sound so much like 3po) ItsyBitsySpyers 10:08 pm ((it is alan tudyk!)) Swoop 10:08 pm ((speak of the devil)) Whirl 10:08 pm *if that tongue is even vaguely close Killer's gonna stick its cirri out* Tarantulas 10:08 pm *to prowl and sw* Ah. I might ought to have mentioned earlier I need to leave early Lingo 10:08 pm (( I SUMMONED HIM)) Whirl 10:08 pm ((YEEE ALAN did a good job <3)) FakeProwl 10:08 pm Mm. Tarantulas 10:08 pm Early as in, now, I mean Windchill 10:08 pm *It's definitely getting close. That's the plan.* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:08 pm *Soundwave bobs his helm at Tarantulas. Not unexpected.* [[If you must.]] Whirl 10:08 pm *they're waving about* FakeProwl 10:08 pm ... Oh. Hold on a second. Swoop 10:08 pm *twitches and wiggles and is generally just excited for a good fight* Whirl 10:09 pm I need me one of those. Tarantulas 10:09 pm Mm? Swoop 10:09 pm *but doesn't ever lunge, he's behaving himself for now* *just being a wiggle* Windchill 10:09 pm *Wiggles his tongue. He wants to see if Killer will try to snatch it.* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:09 pm *Soundwave scoots forward on his seat* Lingo 10:09 pm *lays head on top of Swoop, gnawing idly while watching the fight go down* Whirl 10:09 pm *eventually, very slowly, it draws its cirri in* *and it extrudes its three-pronged beak and starts grasping the air* Swoop 10:09 pm Cow FakeProwl 10:10 pm *leans forward to rest his chin on Tarantulas's helm, drape his arms over Tarantulas's shoulders, and cross them over his chest. Lingo 10:10 pm Them big dogs Windchill 10:10 pm *Retracts his tongue before there's cause for a bloody mess all over the barnacle.* Swoop 10:10 pm That not dog Dog have tail and flop ears and bark Tarantulas 10:10 pm *freezes, then relaxes with a smol purr* Lingo 10:10 pm them not dinobot Whirl 10:10 pm *it grasps hopefully at the air a few times. It's making a very, very soft rasping noise* Swoop 10:10 pm Lots of thing not dinobot keheh Tarantulas 10:11 pm *prowl's arms get pet* FakeProwl 10:11 pm That's all. You can go now. *but Tarantulas will be the one that has to move first.* Impact 10:11 pm *hides face* Swoop 10:11 pm Gogogogogogo DEAD best decepticon leader 10:11 pm They only have four in a squadron? Windchill 10:11 pm *No Killer, he'll play tongue twister with you, but no biting allowed.* Lingo 10:11 pm Too much flyyyyyyiiiiing Whirl 10:11 pm I really like their ships. Impact 10:11 pm *looks again* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:11 pm [[The rebel fleet is very, very tiny compared to the Empire.]] Swoop 10:11 pm Yes flying ItsyBitsySpyers 10:11 pm [[The Empire spans a galaxy, or most of it.]] Whirl 10:11 pm The X-Wings. ItsyBitsySpyers 10:11 pm [[They would be lucky to fill a few planets.]] Tarantulas 10:12 pm *lingers a while, but eventually pulls away* Lingo 10:12 pm too much flying why so much flying them need swords Swoop 10:12 pm Because flying AWESOME Whirl 10:12 pm Because it's about space battles. Windchill 10:12 pm Give him the gun. Lingo 10:12 pm flying stupid them need SWORDS best decepticon leader 10:12 pm flying is the best Whirl 10:12 pm And that is how you make friends. Impact 10:12 pm She gave him the gun! Bevel 10:12 pm Why did they not give him a gun earlier? Swoop 10:12 pm You can flying AND swords Bevel 10:12 pm Is he a bad shot? Whirl 10:13 pm Yeah. You gotta have a mix of both, for an exciting fight. Windchill 10:13 pm Nobody ever gave ME a gun. Lingo 10:13 pm ...them camels? Impact 10:13 pm I think it's because they're racist Windchill 10:13 pm *Pretends to pout.* Swoop 10:13 pm oh camel! Tarantulas 10:13 pm I'll keep you updated on my work if you like. Comm me if you need me, Prowl. FakeProwl 10:13 pm Probably because organics don't see robots as worthy of the same rights they have. Lingo 10:13 pm Camel got no head Impact 10:13 pm droid rights are Not Good in star wars! Bevel 10:13 pm Oh. Whirl 10:13 pm Not bad. FakeProwl 10:13 pm *a nuzzle as Tarantulas pulls away.* No. I'm not going to distract you from your work. Windchill 10:14 pm Organics have it rough, dudes. Tarantulas 10:14 pm Very well. *smooch on prowl's helm, then brief touch to sw as he passes, to say goodbye* Lingo 10:14 pm Them fish Swoop 10:14 pm Swoop kill them FakeProwl 10:14 pm *... slightly leans into it* Windchill 10:14 pm *Tries to ignore the touchy-feely pair over there.* Impact 10:14 pm *peek* Tarantulas 10:14 pm *sorry not sorry chill* Windchill 10:14 pm *Easy enough, with Killer to distract him.* Impact 10:14 pm *she saw a smoooooch* Whirl 10:14 pm *how could you possibly have any attention left for them when you're holding KILLER* Impact 10:14 pm *okay, back to the movie* Whirl 10:15 pm (*9PFFT)) ItsyBitsySpyers 10:15 pm *Pings Tarantulas a farewell and nods. Thank you.* *PRIMUS. BELOW. Look. At. Those. Archives.* Swoop 10:15 pm Me want to fly on beach tooooooo! Beach next. Beach after movie. ItsyBitsySpyers 10:15 pm *...Mild fwoosh.* Whirl 10:15 pm ...that does sound nice, actually. Lingo 10:15 pm Me Slag no like beach Windchill 10:15 pm Eheheh. Whirl 10:15 pm A flight on a beach/ Swoop 10:15 pm You Slag get stuck in wet sand kehehe cause fat ItsyBitsySpyers 10:15 pm [[Are those the controls? How do they - oh, fascinating.]] Windchill 10:15 pm So long as you STAY in flight. Lingo 10:15 pm You Swoop get stuck in wet sand cuz me Slag BURY you Windchill 10:15 pm Gotta avoid all that sand and salt. Swoop 10:15 pm YAHHH Him hit! Whirl 10:15 pm Pfft! Windchill 10:16 pm He beat a man with another man's butt! ItsyBitsySpyers 10:16 pm //He's hittin' guys with other-- haha!// Lingo 10:16 pm YEAH Whirl 10:16 pm That is always, ALWAYS a good move. Hitting people with other people. And, I can handle a little sand and salt. I'm built tough. Lingo 10:16 pm You not Dinobot Bevel 10:16 pm *K's about as good as she is at lying* Swoop 10:16 pm Them need bombers in space Lingo 10:16 pm You not invited Whirl 10:16 pm ...me? Swoop 10:16 pm For shield Lingo 10:16 pm Yah you Windchill 10:16 pm So can I, but I'm supposed to keep my joints clean or I'll get told off. Whirl 10:16 pm Invited where, exactly? Lingo 10:17 pm Beach Whirl 10:17 pm Oh, I wasn't going to go with YOU lot. Lingo 10:17 pm Yah you not Dinobot Impact 10:17 pm *mumbles "For jedha" and makes sad noises* Whirl 10:17 pm Wow. REALLY? Are you sure? Windchill 10:17 pm Sand... Lingo 10:17 pm Yah. Swoop 10:17 pm YAAHHHH Windchill 10:17 pm I hate sand. Swoop 10:17 pm Quick shoot! Awesome!!! Windchill 10:18 pm It's coarse and rough and gets everywhere. Whirl 10:18 pm Because I could swear I had a little raptor in me. best decepticon leader 10:18 pm doesn't everyone Whirl 10:18 pm (9GODDMGA CHIULL)) Impact 10:18 pm *snickers because SAND* Windchill 10:18 pm (( Ur welcome. )) Swoop 10:18 pm You raptor??? :V ItsyBitsySpyers 10:18 pm *Laserbeak rattles her wings. Look at all that flying and fighting. Oh, she is just ITCHING to join in. Too bad it's not real.* Swoop 10:18 pm Where toe? Whirl 10:18 pm Oh, of course. Lingo 10:18 pm No him eated wrapper FakeProwl 10:18 pm ... K2SO isn't going to make it out of this, is he. Right now the enemy soldiers are coming at him one by one. Eventually they're going to send a whole squad down. Whirl 10:18 pm @Swoop: I'm absolutely not, but play along. Lingo 10:18 pm wrapper IN him Swoop 10:18 pm *glances under wing at Laserbeak* : > FakeProwl 10:18 pm And the token robots always die. Whirl 10:19 pm It's not looking good for ANY of 'em, Prowl. FakeProwl 10:19 pm I'm less invested in the rest of them. Whirl 10:19 pm But, yeah. I've got the claws. I've got the head-thing. Totally part raptor. Windchill 10:19 pm This filing system is really inefficient if it takes people in different rooms to find anything. Lingo 10:19 pm But you not dinobot Impact 10:19 pm *sad whine* Whirl 10:19 pm Oh, I totally am. Swoop 10:19 pm Oh him dead best decepticon leader 10:19 pm no Windchill 10:20 pm Figures. Impact 10:20 pm *starts crying* best decepticon leader 10:20 pm 😞 Bevel 10:20 pm No! Lingo 10:20 pm Awh. Whirl 10:20 pm *salutes his empty cube* Impact 10:20 pm *she knew this was coming, but still* Lingo 10:20 pm That suck Windchill 10:20 pm He tried. FakeProwl 10:20 pm *quiet sigh* Windchill 10:20 pm He died. ItsyBitsySpyers 10:20 pm *Tips his helm a bit. A valiant effort.* Swoop 10:20 pm Why dead? Him punch table Lingo 10:20 pm Him got shot in back lots melty Windchill 10:20 pm It was a special exploding table. Swoop 10:20 pm Oh melty Whirl 10:20 pm Anyway. Dinobot or not, I intended to find my OWN beach. VIP access only. Bevel 10:21 pm *awkwardly pats Impact* Lingo 10:21 pm Kay. You no come with us Whirl 10:21 pm Wouldn't dream of it, mech. Lingo 10:21 pm Yah cuz you not Dinobot Swoop 10:21 pm OHH that crash hurt belly flop Lingo 10:21 pm belly flop hurt Whirl 10:21 pm Amazing. Every time you say it, it's more scintillating than the last. Lingo 10:22 pm Sin-till-late-ing? Whirl 10:22 pm Absolutely. Windchill 10:22 pm *Yawns grotesquely at Killer.* Whirl 10:22 pm *returns his attention to the film* Swoop 10:22 pm Good jump best decepticon leader 10:22 pm i'm surprised you know such a big word Whirl FakeProwl 10:22 pm *hears "scintillating." zones out again.* Windchill 10:23 pm Whirl isn't stupid. Swoop 10:23 pm dead Lingo 10:23 pm Sin-till-late-ing best decepticon leader 10:23 pm that's a matter of opinion Lingo 10:23 pm sin- sin-till- dick. Whirl 10:23 pm Starscream, I'd be insulted if I gave a damn what you thought about me at all. Lingo 10:23 pm hurhur Dick Whirl 10:23 pm Luckily for us all... Windchill 10:23 pm *Oh god, the dicks are back.* Whirl 10:23 pm *perks up; oh, he's about to do a thing* Impact 10:23 pm *starts crying all over again* best decepticon leader 10:23 pm shut up cyclops FakeProwl 10:24 pm *... oh right, he cares about this movie. zones back in.* Windchill 10:24 pm *Plating flares out.* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:24 pm *Rumble scoots forward and watches* Swoop 10:24 pm :V Him walk Bevel 10:24 pm *well she knows what's going to happen to everyone now* Swoop 10:24 pm Badass ItsyBitsySpyers 10:24 pm //Lookit that fragger go.// Whirl 10:24 pm He did it. Bevel 10:24 pm *will keep patting Impact as carefully as she can* Whirl 10:24 pm And, pfft, nice try, Starscream. I'm DESIGNED to be ugly and I'd still rather look like this than you. Swoop 10:24 pm Dead Lingo 10:24 pm why him dead? Swoop 10:25 pm !!! Whirl 10:25 pm Ah, damn. Swoop 10:25 pm Exploded best decepticon leader 10:25 pm that's okay, I know I'm gorgeous Whirl 10:25 pm *well, he's genuinely saddened; he was invested in them a bit* There's only one thing to do after that. Lingo 10:25 pm *is strangely distressed by this* *DOES NOT LIKE THIS FEELING* FakeProwl 10:25 pm ... Either only the child of the scientist is going to survive, or they're all going to die. Whirl 10:25 pm A glorious violent killing spree. ItsyBitsySpyers 10:25 pm //Somebody loosin' dust clouds in here.// Rubs his optics. Bevel 10:26 pm *frowns* FakeProwl 10:26 pm Highest probability is for one survivor. Swoop 10:26 pm *is in biting range if Slag gets TOO distressed, doesn't realize his impending doom* Windchill 10:26 pm *That's why it's a lot easier when you can't stand the people you fight alongside.* best decepticon leader 10:26 pm true Whirl 10:26 pm *tips his empty cube to the screen again* Windchill 10:26 pm *He would know.* Lingo 10:26 pm *resumes nibbling on Swoop's kibble* FakeProwl 10:26 pm Movies like to make everyone expendable except for their one star that we're supposed to like. ItsyBitsySpyers 10:26 pm *Small nod from Soundwave. It does seem a doomed mission.* Swoop 10:26 pm *is a chew toy* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:26 pm [[He would argue we are supposed to like most of them. Of their band.]] Whirl 10:27 pm My bet is that they're all gonna bite it. Lingo 10:27 pm Hammerhead corvette? Corvette am car Swoop 10:27 pm You bird do talky, comm stuff. You do this stuff? Fighty talky plan stuff. Whirl 10:27 pm Seen too many missions like this from the Xantium. best decepticon leader 10:27 pm I rarely if ever like the hero Lingo 10:27 pm hammerhead am fish Swoop 10:27 pm OH! EXPLODE. Lingo 10:27 pm fish car? Swoop 10:27 pm Dead Whirl 10:27 pm Oh, here he goes. ItsyBitsySpyers 10:27 pm {{Not nowwww. Before, Bird do lots.}} Windchill 10:27 pm He's gonna do a thing? Swoop 10:27 pm Bird pretty badass 😆 * : > FakeProwl 10:27 pm It'll be more realistic if they all die. /I'd/ appreciate it. But Earth movies don't usually take that route. They like their sole survivors. Whirl 10:27 pm Blaze of glory is what he's gonna do. Swoop 10:27 pm !! Windchill 10:27 pm I suppose he's got nothing left to live for, might as well die. best decepticon leader 10:27 pm wait, were they in love? Swoop 10:27 pm Him kill everyone :V Whirl 10:28 pm They were obviously a couple. Lingo 10:28 pm Him Sad. Him kill cuz sad. ItsyBitsySpyers 10:28 pm //Yeah, mech. Lookit what he looked at last.// Whirl 10:28 pm I mean, there's nothing left for him to do except kill as many as he can. Swoop 10:28 pm *glances at Slag* *what a weird comment* *what a weird brother* KAH! Ram. best decepticon leader 10:28 pm i have trouble recognising love, okay? Whirl 10:28 pm Ha! Nice. Swoop 10:28 pm Awesome Lingo 10:28 pm *gnaws a little harder on Swoop's crest. It's going to be good and dented later* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:28 pm \\THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKIN' ABOUT. LITTLE GUYS DOIN' THE HEAVY LIFTIN'.\\ Windchill 10:29 pm That's because you're stupid, Starscream. Bevel 10:29 pm *waits* Whirl 10:29 pm Hear, hear. ItsyBitsySpyers 10:29 pm \\LIKE WE ALWAYS GOTTA DO.\\ Swoop 10:29 pm *okay like for real that's starting to be A Bad Time there buddy* Whirl 10:29 pm *snickers; Windchill u got my back* Windchill 10:29 pm *What are friends for?* best decepticon leader 10:29 pm no, it's because i don't experience love Windchill 10:29 pm *He knows you can fight your own battles, but does it make him want to punch people any less? No.* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:29 pm [[...What is the purpose of putting the controls that far out? Who designed this?]] Windchill 10:29 pm Because you're stupid, Starscream. I am... Lingo 10:30 pm YAH SMASH best decepticon leader 10:30 pm or at least, i haven't ItsyBitsySpyers 10:30 pm \\HECK YEAH!\\ Bevel 10:30 pm Bad designers. Swoop 10:30 pm !!! Whirl 10:30 pm Look at THAT! Windchill 10:30 pm So sorry to hear of your pitiful existence. Whirl 10:30 pm Glorious. Swoop 10:30 pm SMASH WHOLE SHIP IN HALF ItsyBitsySpyers 10:30 pm *This is the best moment in the whole movie to Frenzy. Look what that tiny ship made them do.* Lingo 10:30 pm SMASH WHOLE THING FakeProwl 10:30 pm An empire staffed with reluctant engineers who want to sabotage their bosses designed it. ItsyBitsySpyers 10:30 pm [[...That is a good point.]] Whirl 10:30 pm Ha! *that was a good one, Prowl* Bevel 10:30 pm Ha. best decepticon leader 10:30 pm i think it would be inconvenient rather than something to aspire to Lingo 10:30 pm her owie. Swoop 10:30 pm leg Lingo 10:31 pm You Swoop fix? Windchill 10:31 pm What, being stupid? I have to agree. Swoop 10:31 pm Me Swoop don't know human stuff FakeProwl 10:31 pm Don't tell them, you idiot. Swoop 10:31 pm KAH FakeProwl 10:31 pm If he shoots you and runs off he can report it to his superiors. Windchill 10:31 pm Nice. Lingo 10:31 pm Him not die Whirl 10:31 pm Nice. Lingo 10:32 pm Why die from fall that dumb Swoop 10:32 pm *WOOPS* Whirl 10:32 pm And, well. You're not wrong, Prowl. But god, nothing is more deeply satisfying that revenge. Windchill 10:32 pm *Raises hand* Whirl 10:32 pm And gloating in it. Sometimes you do stupid things. ItsyBitsySpyers 10:32 pm //Yeah, but if she ain't said she already did it maybe he woulda shot her so she couldn't.// //Least she kept him talkin' so she could.// Whirl 10:32 pm *Teacher Voice* Yes, Windchill? And yeah. Point, Rumble. Windchill 10:32 pm I dunno about that. Impact 10:32 pm *basically a tear fountain* Windchill 10:32 pm I've had some good frags in my time. Whirl 10:33 pm Pft. Lingo 10:33 pm it that thing Whirl 10:33 pm Well. FakeProwl 10:33 pm If one of my spies pulled a stunt like that, they'd be dismissed from their position and arrested for divulging top-secret intel to the enemy. Whirl 10:33 pm ...I mean, what is there to say to that. Swoop 10:33 pm death star Lingo 10:33 pm FRAG hurhur him say frag ItsyBitsySpyers 10:33 pm //Listen, I'm jus' tryin' to make sense outta human reasonin'.// Windchill 10:33 pm *Grins smugly.* Lingo 10:33 pm Dick frag best decepticon leader 10:33 pm i'd just straight up shoot them, but you do you prowl Windchill 10:33 pm *For Primus' sake, you dinobots.* Whirl 10:33 pm I will say, then, that *I* have never experienced anything as deeply satisfying as reveling in the moment of my revenge. ItsyBitsySpyers 10:34 pm *Oh. Oh dear.* Swoop 10:34 pm EXPLODE Windchill 10:34 pm Hmm, fair enough. FakeProwl 10:34 pm Arrest comes with the possibility of reform. Bevel 10:34 pm Oh no. Whirl 10:34 pm Oh, yeah. They're all toast. Windchill 10:34 pm I don't really do the revenge thing. Whirl 10:34 pm But hey, they won. Lingo 10:34 pm but them win?? best decepticon leader 10:34 pm prison makes monsters, just ask whirl Swoop 10:34 pm Explode coming FakeProwl 10:34 pm ... Probability is leaning toward them all dying. ItsyBitsySpyers 10:34 pm [[Probability had best lean faster.]] Impact 10:34 pm *very good thing she brought this handkercheif* Whirl 10:35 pm *he's just going to grab his empty cube and with snake-quick reflexes chuck it directly at Starscream's face* Bevel 10:35 pm Very fast. best decepticon leader 10:35 pm OW Windchill 10:35 pm @Whirl: Permission to kill him? Whirl 10:35 pm You got off lucky. ItsyBitsySpyers 10:35 pm [[No attacking guests.]] Whirl 10:35 pm @Windchill: Ask Soundwave, not me. FakeProwl 10:35 pm Prison doesn't make monsters. People who go into prisons to beat the prisoners make monsters. Swoop 10:35 pm dead? dead Lingo 10:35 pm ?!?!?! BUT WON?? Windchill 10:35 pm @Whirl: Feh, Soundwave can't tell me what to do outside of Dancitron. best decepticon leader 10:35 pm That too Lingo 10:35 pm THEM WON ??? Swoop 10:35 pm yah won Whirl 10:35 pm *just settles back in his chair and returns his attention to the movie* Lingo 10:36 pm WHY DEAD IF THEM WON??? Whirl 10:36 pm @Windchill: oh, sure. Outside, do whatcha want. But don't give him a hard time in his own place. ...he's all right. best decepticon leader 10:36 pm So whirl is a monster Whirl 10:36 pm Oh, shit. best decepticon leader 10:36 pm According to Prowl Whirl 10:36 pm That was awesome. FakeProwl 10:36 pm That's the opposite of what I said. Swoop 10:36 pm kamikaze? OHH Windchill 10:36 pm Well, nobody cares what Prowl thinks either. Swoop 10:36 pm Him BADASS Whirl 10:36 pm He really is. ItsyBitsySpyers 10:36 pm [[Some of us do.]] Lingo 10:36 pm What kamm-ee-cauze-zee? Windchill 10:37 pm *Or, at least, he doesn't.* best decepticon leader 10:37 pm Whirl doing a monstrous act led to Megatron, close enough Swoop 10:37 pm It mean die on purpose for winning Like Lingo 10:37 pm But that DUMB Swoop 10:37 pm Crash head first into enemy and explode To kill Windchill 10:37 pm *Starscream's talking gibberish now, so far as he's concerned.* Lingo 10:37 pm HOW THEM KNOW YOU WIN IF YOU DEAD Swoop 10:37 pm You die SUPER HARD Windchill 10:37 pm *points* If he could fly, he could have chased them then. Whirl 10:37 pm *his antenna pins back, but he studiously ignores Starscream* Swoop 10:37 pm harder than them ((miss u carrie)) FakeProwl 10:37 pm *he's doing an extremely poor job of rephrasing prowl's words.* Lingo 10:38 pm Dumb dumb dumb (( Carrieeeee ;;n;; )) ItsyBitsySpyers 10:38 pm *And Soundwave can attest to how much fear suddenly showing a small amount of light in a very dark room can cause.* Bevel 10:38 pm ((baby carrie ;v; Impact 10:38 pm ((mmhmm ;; )) Whirl 10:38 pm (( ;u;/ )) FakeProwl 10:38 pm ((rip)) Guest 10:38 pm ((rip your highness and general skywalker)) best decepticon leader 10:38 pm Megatron in turn created many monsters Whirl 10:38 pm Starscream, I suggest you shut it. FakeProwl 10:38 pm Why are we rehashing the war, precisely? Whirl 10:38 pm You can't pin all of Megatron on just ME. FakeProwl 10:38 pm We were all there. best decepticon leader 10:38 pm Or what? Windchill 10:38 pm *He was about to say the same thing, whoops.* I'll kill you, that's what. best decepticon leader 10:38 pm i can and will ItsyBitsySpyers 10:38 pm [[ENOUGH.]] Swoop 10:38 pm fight fight fight fight ItsyBitsySpyers 10:39 pm [[Take this into the canyon or silence yourselves.]] Bevel 10:39 pm No more war talk. Boring. ItsyBitsySpyers 10:39 pm [[This is a neutral zone, not a shooting range.]] Whirl 10:39 pm *swivels his helm around to glare at Soundwave* Windchill 10:39 pm *He'll let Starsceam make that decision, lol.* Bevel 10:39 pm *grumbles* Impact 10:39 pm *finally coming out of sad movie fugue to notice the conversations happening* FakeProwl 10:39 pm *... kind of hopes they take this into the canyon* Bevel 10:39 pm Are you ok, Impact? Whirl 10:39 pm Oh, of course, NOW you speak up. Swoop 10:39 pm *LOUDLY HOPES THEY TAKE IT INTO THE CANYON* best decepticon leader 10:39 pm meet me outside whirl Impact 10:39 pm *nods and wipes away last of her tears* uh-huh Bevel 10:40 pm *pats one last time for good measure just in case* Lingo 10:40 pm Fight? There fight? Impact 10:40 pm *hugs* Lingo 10:40 pm Where fight? Me Slag want Fight Whirl 10:40 pm Y'know? No. I don't think I will. *leans back* Not tonight, anyway. When I feel like it. Windchill 10:40 pm Listen, Starscream. best decepticon leader 10:40 pm if whirl isn't a coward Swoop 10:40 pm No fight? : < ItsyBitsySpyers 10:40 pm [[And from what little he has learned of Megatron in their world, there was more to it than whatever you are accusing Whirl of doing.]] Lingo 10:40 pm YOU FIGHT ME SLAG Windchill 10:40 pm We all know you're an idiot, but voluntarily fighting Whirl? That's a whole new level of stupid. Even I won't do that. And I thought I was a dumb as they came. best decepticon leader 10:41 pm whirls skill is so far beneath me it almost isn't worth it Windchill 10:41 pm *Actually snickers.* Bevel 10:41 pm *is hugged?* FakeProwl 10:41 pm @Whirl «Schedule your brawl for after Springer.» Whirl 10:41 pm *snorts* Impact 10:41 pm *Yes, bevel is hugged* Whirl 10:41 pm @Prowl: Why do you think I haven't ALREADY jumped him? ItsyBitsySpyers 10:42 pm *Soundwave's feelers slide out. He already gave one warning.* FakeProwl 10:42 pm @Whirl «Could have been Springer, could have been because you don't want to be banned from movie nights. I wasn't going to assume.» Lingo 10:42 pm Swoop them no fight me Slag Swoop 10:42 pm Boring Lingo 10:42 pm boring. Swoop 10:42 pm Us go burn stuff on beach : > Bird want beach too? Lingo 10:43 pm Yeah. Us go burn stuff. ItsyBitsySpyers 10:43 pm {{No, Bird can not going beach today. Bird work soon.}} Mutter mutter. {{Beach more other time. Promise promise.}} Whirl 10:43 pm @Prowl: Yeah, well, if all I can look forward to is getting verbally harassed then it's not worth it. Swoop 10:44 pm Kay. Other time. Bye bye! Impact 10:44 pm Gonna go to bed now. G'night. Windchill 10:44 pm *Flicks his tongue at Killer again since Starscream's shut up for the moment; he doesn't know when he will see the Most Beloved Barnacle again.* Bevel 10:44 pm Night, Impact ItsyBitsySpyers 10:44 pm //Seeya, Impact.// Whirl 10:44 pm Seeya, twerp. Impact 10:44 pm *one more hug for Bevel and a tentative wave for Soundwave and co.* *more wavings* Seeya! Windchill 10:44 pm Bye, short stack. Lingo 10:45 pm Diiiiiiiiiiiiick *waddles on out, chanting 'dick dick dick frag frag frag dick frag'* FakeProwl 10:45 pm *tries to figure out how to send a neutral shrug over a comm. can't. he'll run that by soundwave later.* @Whirl «Mm.» Bevel 10:46 pm *not really following anything happening in the room right now* Windchill 10:46 pm *Probably for the best.* Whirl 10:47 pm Well, that was a decent movie. *hops up* Gonna need you to relinquish the barnacle, 'Chill. Windchill 10:47 pm Yup. It... is time. best decepticon leader 10:48 pm ((night everyone Bevel 10:48 pm ((night Windchill 10:48 pm *Carefully plucks it out of his lap and offers the panel, like a barnacle on a silver platter.* Whirl 10:48 pm ((gnight!)) Windchill 10:48 pm (( 'Night! )) Whirl 10:48 pm *returns Killer to his seat* *and takes a moment to very gently nudge Windchill while he's over there* @Windchill: Thanks. Bevel 10:48 pm *...wait Whirl brought something to the movie and she missed it???* Whirl 10:49 pm *he brought his pet barnacle* Bevel 10:49 pm *leans over to see what it is* Whirl 10:49 pm *it's attached to a metal panel* Windchill 10:49 pm *Doesn't react externally, making it harder to spot maybe.* Bevel 10:49 pm *very cool and weird pet, a+ would look again* Windchill 10:49 pm @Whirl: For threatening people? Whirl 10:49 pm (( visual ref:

http://68.media.tumblr.com/47699e71b8b27a72dd631b7736d46dbe/tumblr_inline_njzoxgkkxd1ractlu.png )) ItsyBitsySpyers 10:49 pm *Quietly rubs his crest. At the rate people are intent on burning things, starting fights, and doing Primus knows what, he's going to have to start asking Smokescreen to make security appearances off-schedule.* Whirl 10:50 pm @Windchill: Well. There's no way to say this without being incredibly cheesy. But, for sticking up for me. FakeProwl 10:50 pm *soundwave could stop most of the threat of fights/arson by uninviting the dinobots. just saying.* Whirl 10:50 pm *he's the only one who did, and Whirl appreciates it* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:50 pm *...No, see, that leads to MORE threats of fighting and arson.* Windchill 10:51 pm @Whirl: We're friends, it's my job. Bevel 10:51 pm *between writing the next chapter in the covenant of primus in which optimus, not so secretly the thirteenth original prime, saves everyone from a big smelter and unicron and something something starscream gets a crown!?!?* Windchill 10:51 pm @Whirl: To be as cheesy as possible. You can't beat me there. I'm the cheesiest. Whirl 10:51 pm *he just shrugs; he's obviously not used to it* Windchill 10:52 pm *Shrugs also.* Bevel 10:52 pm *smokescreen's writing ideas are very original ok* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:52 pm *Part of that actually happened. Or will happen, if it hasn't already. But spoilers.* Bevel 10:52 pm *it's the starscream crown part isn't it?* *Bevel will think that's the best part* Windchill 10:53 pm *That's the worst part what the hell.* *Every Starscream he's met has been a complete asshole* Whirl 10:54 pm All right. See you later, losers. Windchill 10:54 pm Bye, suckerrrrr. Bevel 10:54 pm *Bevel's universe's Starscream is the best and totally deserves a cool crown* Night! Whirl 10:54 pm *waves to the room; now he's all out of sorts again. Time for a flight. Maybe he'll go find that beach* Windchill 10:55 pm *Does a ridiculously wide, sweeping wave.* *You can't miss it.* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:55 pm *The twins manage a half-hearted wave. They've kind of got the idea between them that Whirl might not come back now.* Whirl 10:56 pm Take care of Killer, you two, all right? Windchill 10:56 pm *That sounded awfully final, but he won't say anything.* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:56 pm //'Course. Won't nothin' happen to it.// Bevel 10:57 pm Does this mean I can bring Eowyn to movie nights? ItsyBitsySpyers 10:57 pm \\YOU BETTER COME BACK FORIT.\\ [[You still have that thing? How big is it now?]] Whirl 10:57 pm Well of course. *drapes a claw ove rhis cockpit* Primus willing. Or, I guess... I should say Heqet willing. Hmm. Bevel 10:57 pm Uh... *holds her hands about six feet apart* Whirl 10:57 pm *he pauses and looks over* Eowyn? What's that? ItsyBitsySpyers 10:57 pm //Primus nothin'. Better or we're gonna drag your shreds back.// Bevel 10:58 pm My Flobster. ItsyBitsySpyers 10:58 pm [[...It is clean, isn't it? Eowyn.]] *No plague?* Windchill 10:58 pm *Debates internally whether to steal Whirl's former seat and sit next to Killer for a few minutes, or just head home.* Bevel 10:58 pm Yeah, she keeps herself clean. Whirl 10:58 pm Oh! *perks up* I sort-of have one of those. Neat little guys. ItsyBitsySpyers 10:59 pm [[Fine. But it stays near you and you do not feed it from our stores.]] Whirl 10:59 pm Pfft. And, all right. *he nods to the twins* I mean, I honestly don't doubt that the two of you COULD. ItsyBitsySpyers 10:59 pm [[AND you take it with you when you go.]] Whirl 10:59 pm But remember: I've left me shreds to Ravage. Bevel 10:59 pm *nods enthusiastically* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:59 pm //Okay, but him draggin' shreds is gonna hurt more. He got fangs.// \\WE MEAN IT. YOU BETTER COME BACK.\\ Whirl 11:00 pm Well, I don't plan on NOT coming back. *he's starting to get genuinely baffled by this insistence* Not unless I find out your Boss is showing Titanic again. Windchill 11:00 pm Ugh. ItsyBitsySpyers 11:00 pm *Double sigh of relief.* @Whirl: //Good. Gotta make up for not havin' your back like we're supposed to.// Windchill 11:01 pm *Moves to sit next to Killer, he doesn't care who sees.* I'm putting my butt where Whirl's butt was. Just so's you all know. Whirl 11:01 pm ((for some reason the mental image of chill moving to sit next to killer the moment this song starts is hilarious to me)) Windchill 11:01 pm (( Omg I wasn't even paying attention. )) Whirl 11:02 pm Oh God. I can never sit there again? @Rumble: What, now? Windchill 11:02 pm (( Too busy contemplating dinner and peeing.)) ItsyBitsySpyers 11:02 pm \\THERE AIN'T GONNA BE A SEAT LEFT AFTER HIM.\\ Windchill 11:02 pm Well, you can but it's been tainted. By my taint. Sorry. *Makes sure to look real comfortable.* *He'd do worse but he's already risked being kicked out once tonight.* Whirl 11:03 pm Pfft. You've got a point, Frenzy. ItsyBitsySpyers 11:03 pm @Whirl: //Durin' the Starscream thing. We was watchin' the movie 'n then Windchill was like "Gonna kill ya," 'n we were all, "What?" 'N wasn't no time left to drag nobody outside 'n punch 'em.// @Whirl: //Said we got your back before. Gotta do it right. That's all.// Windchill 11:04 pm *Cautiously reaches a claw in Killer's direction, despite knowing better. He has to.* Whirl 11:04 pm @Rumble: Oh. Well, I can't exactly blame you. He chose the best damn part to open his mouth. *Whirl snorts and casts and irritable glance to the screen* I mean. He wasn't wrong. I just don't like hearing it from HIM. FakeProwl 11:05 pm *heard the word "titanic." zones out again.* Bevel 11:05 pm *completely missed all this due to having to focus her attention on Impact* Windchill 11:05 pm *Wonders what it's like to live stuck to a panel and be propped up in a chair at movie nights. Weird.* Whirl 11:05 pm @Rumble: But... you're good. And thanks. Besides, I wasn't kidding when I said I'd do it later. If you want in on the inevitable revenge, just say the word. *Killer, of course, extrudes its cirri as soon as the finger is near; it's probably more bewildered by all this phantom food than anything else* Bevel 11:06 pm *contemplates what she can do to ensure Eowyn stays in one spot for movie night, maybe a leash?* Windchill 11:06 pm (( Phantom food. )) ItsyBitsySpyers 11:06 pm @Whirl: //Naw, c'mon. Ain't fair sayin' you made the whole thing go. We been learnin'. He was gettin' screwed over by function scrap way before you.//

//I ain't gonna get in your revengin' way, but I'mma make sure ya get all the good shots slow-mo in high-def later.// Whirl 11:06 pm (9WHERE DOES IT COME FROM. WHERE DOES IT GO.)) Windchill 11:07 pm *He's gonna hold still and let the barnacle have its way with him, for now.* ItsyBitsySpyers 11:07 pm @Whirl: //An' you got screwed over too. So like. Real bad guy's the Senate, here.// Whirl 11:08 pm @Rumble: Oh, no. I know about that. I meant the monster thing. *waves a dismissive claw; I know the Functionists are to blame for the war. If it wasn't Megatron, it'd have been someone else, maybe.

As for the revenge, suit yourself. Offer's still open. I intend to invite Wide Load over there, as well, so the more, the merrier. Windchill 11:08 pm (( Wide load. )) (( Fickung))) Whirl 11:08 pm *if the finger is too far away to bite, Windchill will just get some waving cirri and a rasping beak that's just out of range... if it's not, prepare to get bit* ItsyBitsySpyers 11:08 pm @Whirl: //Pffft. Ain't gonna be no fightin' then. Just gonna sit on him.// Whirl 11:08 pm (( :3c )) ItsyBitsySpyers 11:08 pm @Whirl: //Starsplat after that.// Windchill 11:09 pm (( I can't. )) Whirl 11:09 pm *he actually laughs out loud at that... which might seem odd to someone who isn't privy to the conversation* Windchill 11:09 pm *He's definitely in range. He can spare a claw.* Bevel 11:09 pm *maybe a little but flobster leashes are currently occupying her* Whirl 11:09 pm *CHOMP* ItsyBitsySpyers 11:09 pm ((OH i haven't heard this in years...)) Windchill 11:10 pm *Makes a really grim face, wonders how long it would take to be fully consumed by a barnacle.* Whirl 11:10 pm @Rumble: Anyway. Thanks again. *he bobs his helm* You're good. *and he looks over to Windchill and...* What the hell. He's eating you, you know. ItsyBitsySpyers 11:11 pm *Nods and salutes.* Whirl 11:11 pm Okay, if THIS sort of thing is what makes it spawn, then I hereby absolve myself of all responsibility. Windchill 11:11 pm *If his mate asks why his claw is shorter...he'll tell the truth. It was sacrificed.* Whirl 11:11 pm You're all my witnesses. Windchill 11:11 pm WHOA now. ItsyBitsySpyers 11:11 pm //Hey! Hey! No!// Windchill 11:11 pm You're blaming me now? ItsyBitsySpyers 11:11 pm [[No spawning in his club.]] [[...Oh, you meant the barnacle.]] [[...Still. No spawning.]] Windchill 11:12 pm I had nothing to do with it the first time. I think? Whirl 11:12 pm Well you don't have to tell ME, Soundwave. I think I'd have bigger problems if I suddenly sparted squirting out little Whirls. Windchill 11:12 pm Listen, I might have magical spawning powers, but that's just silly. Whirl 11:12 pm And, I have no idea what caused it the first time. But I didn't do anything to it. Windchill 11:12 pm *He's PRETTY sure he can't impregnate a barnacle, but considering his track record so far it wouldn't surprise him either.* Fine, you can blame me seeing as there's no other explanation. ItsyBitsySpyers 11:13 pm [[...He will be moving this to his balcony. The one on Cybertron.]] *It's not spitting babies all over HIS planet again* Whirl 11:13 pm *I..... don't think whirl even knows they live there yet so he's assuming it's this Cybertron* Good. Officially, it's your fault. FakeProwl 11:14 pm Why don't you seal it in a small room? I don't want an invasive species on my planet. Windchill 11:14 pm *Raises his other hand.* ItsyBitsySpyers 11:14 pm [[It's FROM your timeline.]] Windchill 11:14 pm It's officially my fault. ItsyBitsySpyers 11:14 pm [[It's an invasive species on HIS planet.]] Whirl 11:14 pm Actually, it's not. Bevel 11:14 pm Uh-oh. Windchill 11:14 pm Most pregnancies seem to be. Whirl 11:14 pm We know for a fact Killer's not from my dimension, or the one I'm occupying. ItsyBitsySpyers 11:14 pm [[...Where did you get this thing, then?]] Whirl 11:14 pm We don't know WHERE it's from, actually. Never seen another one like it. Found it. And, okay. it's official. Windchill's fault. Bevel 11:15 pm It does not look like the ones from Malgus. ItsyBitsySpyers 11:15 pm [[Well, then it's living in the spare storage unit here.]] Bevel 11:15 pm Somewhere else. FakeProwl 11:15 pm Even if it was from our universe, it's not from CYBERTRON. It's clearly SOME kind of space barnacle, and space barnacles are from SPACE. We SCRAPE THEM OFF ships before they land to PREVENT invasive species from taking over. Whirl 11:15 pm It was with the barnacles on the ship. Small colony--it's the only one that survived. Windchill 11:15 pm *You know he's just going to take this as a matter of pride, right?* Whirl 11:16 pm Just take care of it, all right? ItsyBitsySpyers 11:16 pm *Soundwave rubs his crest again. And there are how many hundreds of these down below?* //Best care, I swear.// Whirl 11:16 pm *nods solemnly; he trusts you two* FakeProwl 11:16 pm If you've got to take it back to my planet, at least don't stick it on a balcony where its spawn could spray all over Metroplex, the only city on the planet. ItsyBitsySpyers 11:17 pm [[That is a mental image he is sorry he had.]] Whirl 11:17 pm And, what's the deal with the ones from Malgus? ItsyBitsySpyers 11:17 pm *Small shudder.* Whirl 11:17 pm *two and two are finally coming together* Wait--balcony. *looks between Soundwave and the twins* You lot live on the Cybertron I'M on? ItsyBitsySpyers 11:18 pm [[On occasion.]] Bevel 11:18 pm They take over bots and make them into monsters. Like, um, like the bot is a host? ItsyBitsySpyers 11:18 pm \\COOL.\\ Whirl 11:18 pm Oh. Yeah, Killer's not like that. Windchill 11:18 pm Ew. *Good thing too, seeing as he's got his finger in its mouth.* Whirl 11:19 pm *his optic contracts, relaxes, and contracts again* Interesting. Windchill 11:19 pm Like zombies? Bevel 11:20 pm They look really different. ItsyBitsySpyers 11:20 pm *Soundwave needs to think of something to get the idea of the barnacle literally spraying an entire city block in a disgusting torrent of babies out of his head.* Bevel 11:20 pm Yeah, kinda, but you can fix bots if they are not that badly infected yet. Windchill 11:20 pm Huh. Whirl 11:21 pm As cool as that sounds... I think I'll stick with my barnacle. I doubt zombie-making parasitic barnacles would get approved as a therapy animal, anyway. FakeProwl 11:21 pm *all right, he's defended metroplex. zones out again.* Whirl 11:21 pm ((it will be in ur dreams tonight, soundwave)) Windchill 11:21 pm I've been pretty good about avoiding zombies. I'd like to keep it that way. ItsyBitsySpyers 11:21 pm ((HOW DARE YOU)) Whirl 11:21 pm (( 😎 )) Windchill 11:21 pm (( Windchill would help but he'd only replace that thought with something worse. That's all he's got. )) Bevel 11:21 pm ((think of squids, sw ItsyBitsySpyers 11:22 pm *He looks around. Nothing. He settles for cleaning the end of his feeler.* Windchill 11:22 pm *He's gonna try to extract his talon, now.* ItsyBitsySpyers 11:22 pm *...It looks like a barnacle. With the pointed top of the claws and the wiggly things.* *Puts his feeler down and just stretches across the couch instead.* *Mostly across.* Whirl 11:23 pm *those obscene wiggly things* All right! I keep trying to leave and you lot keep dragging me back! I've got things to do.

*pauses* ...actually, I really don't. Aside from "find a beach, somewhere." FakeProwl 11:23 pm *... would that across be in prowl's direction* Bevel 11:23 pm *has come up with a leash design that'll probably hold Eowyn and keep her from wandering off, nods to herself satisfied* Windchill 11:23 pm Go find your beach. ItsyBitsySpyers 11:23 pm *Naturally. There's only so much room on this couch.* Windchill 11:23 pm Take a vacation. FakeProwl 11:23 pm *in that case: starts again. hi.* Windchill 11:24 pm You deserve it, 'cause I said so. ItsyBitsySpyers 11:24 pm //Seeya Whirl. 'N Bevel.// *Don't worry. He didn't touch Prowl without asking.* Whirl 11:24 pm G'night, all of ya. *bobs his head to the whole room. It's actually a good room. He's relatively cool with everyone here, tonight* FakeProwl 11:24 pm *starts anyway because Sudden Proximity. it's a less dramatic start though.* Windchill 11:24 pm *Waves with his free hand, again.* Shoo! FakeProwl 11:25 pm *more like a twitch than a mini-jump* Bevel 11:25 pm *well she wasn't leaving but she probably should yes* Whirl 11:25 pm *and poof he is gone* ItsyBitsySpyers 11:25 pm *That totally had nothing to do with the mun thinking that message said Bevel was wandering off, no.* *Apologetic ping in Prowl's direction.* Bevel 11:25 pm *movie's over and after having to awkwardly pretend to ignore post-Titanic movie whispering, she's not gonna hang around and chance a repeat* Windchill 11:25 pm *Examines his now reduced claw. That's okay, he's got more. It'll grow back.* ItsyBitsySpyers 11:26 pm //Listen, feeding hours is strict schedule when we're watchin' that thing. You wanna give it the other claws, you gotta go by the schedule.// *Probably wise, Bevel* Windchill 11:26 pm That's okay, I need my other claws. I don't have much else for weaponry these days. ItsyBitsySpyers 11:27 pm \\GOT A SHARP GLOSSA.\\ Windchill 11:27 pm *His brain's sharper, but shh.* Bevel 11:27 pm *the wisest, will make her way out the door after Whirl bye* Windchill 11:27 pm Yeah, weaponized stupidity sure. Anyway, it's had a snack. I should be going home as well. I don't want to miss feeding time, and I do want to miss you two macking on each other. ItsyBitsySpyers 11:28 pm //Say hi to the grub 'n the -- PFFFFF.// *Rumble smothers his mouth. Oh, Primus.* Windchill 11:28 pm *Obviously he doesn't mean Rumble and Frenzy; it was a more general 'you.'* *He stands.* FakeProwl 11:29 pm *slow blink* I won't do it in front of you if you don't do it in front of us. ItsyBitsySpyers 11:29 pm *Rumble's vents squeak with the strain of keeping them still at that* Windchill 11:29 pm *Raises hand, as if about to very solemnly swear.* I have only kissed Whirl once. Here, anyways. ItsyBitsySpyers 11:30 pm //Jus' once?// FakeProwl 11:30 pm Your discretion is appreciated. Windchill 11:30 pm I promised not to do it in public without getting permission first, so yes. Just once. He was a bird so I'm not sure it counts. FakeProwl 11:30 pm It counts. ItsyBitsySpyers 11:31 pm //Why the frag jus' once?// Windchill 11:31 pm Because I promised. ItsyBitsySpyers 11:31 pm //Well, yeah. I mean - okay.// Windchill 11:32 pm *Shrugs. He doesn't get it.* ItsyBitsySpyers 11:32 pm *Isn't sure HE gets it.* Windchill 11:33 pm ANYWAY, I've got a grubby face waiting for me, and it's easier to clean while it's still sticky. ItsyBitsySpyers 11:34 pm \\HEH. GRUBBY FACE.\\ //Get cleanin', then, I guess.// Windchill 11:34 pm I shall. ItsyBitsySpyers 11:34 pm //'N for Primus' sake, ask Whirl more. Once.// Scoff. Windchill 11:35 pm Nope. FakeProwl 11:35 pm If they've mutually agreed on a boundary, it's to be respected. Windchill 11:35 pm *Nods.* ItsyBitsySpyers 11:36 pm *He's not saying not to respect the boundary! Rumble just thinks Whirl's-- never mind. Neeeeever mind.* *Ahem. There was a grub?* Windchill 11:36 pm *It's complicated.* *He moves for the exit, he wouldn't dream of holding up the main event any longer.* Goodnight, suckers. I'm out. ItsyBitsySpyers 11:37 pm //Night!// Windchill 11:37 pm *Waves over his shoulder.* FakeProwl 11:38 pm *... right. everyone's gone. and there's something vitally important that Prowl's been waiting to say for over an hour now.* FakeProwl 11:41 pm *he turns to Soundwave* It's suspected that one of the reasons that the Californian didn't come to the Titanic's rescue even though it's widely believed that it was close enough to see its lights is because the stars were scintillating that night—flickering on and off—and so it's possible that when the Titanic used its morse lamp to signal the Californian in morse code, they couldn't read it because a code based on turning the light on and off was disrupted and made illegible by the scintillating of the light that night. FakeProwl 11:42 pm However other experts have pointed out that the very obvious binary on-and-off of a lamp signaling morse code looks very different from the dimming-and-brightening of scintillating lights at night, which punches holes in this theory. Personally, I believe the theory is unlikely, but it's a fascinating one all the same, and I admire the ingenuity of taking into account a weather phenomenon—the twinkling of stars, of all things—that is usually overlooked in forensic investigations. ... *ahem.* *that's all.* ItsyBitsySpyers 11:46 pm *Soundwave startles a little, suddenly faced with a wall of speech. He catches up somewhere around the "rescue even though," then plays back the earlier part to find out what he missed* ItsyBitsySpyers 11:48 pm (txt): When learned, this? Where? (txt): ...More known? *Scoot. Scoot scoot.* FakeProwl 11:48 pm ... I watched a documentary. ......... Documentaries. ItsyBitsySpyers 11:49 pm (txt): All forensic investigation data? More stars, paint ice? FakeProwl 11:51 pm Mostly, yes. Not all, though. ItsyBitsySpyers 11:51 pm (txt): Prowl finding answers wanted after movie? Knows more - precaution? Negative, not word. Knows... solutions? *No, that's not it either. He looks down at his knee, thinking.* FakeProwl 11:52 pm For instance: there's a strain of bacteria—organic—that's been found nowhere but on the Titanic, and it's evolved to eat the iron of the ship. It eats iron and excretes rust. A rust virus evolved on Earth. ItsyBitsySpyers 11:53 pm (txt): ...How? Organics: not metal eaters. (txt): Scientists certain this, not designed? FakeProwl 11:54 pm Very certain. And I can confirm the Autobots didn't track down a random shipwreck in the middle of the Atlantic to experiment with rust viruses, and I see no evidence of Decepticon involvement either. ItsyBitsySpyers 11:55 pm (txt): Supposition: Cybertronians not investigating shipwreck within near future. FakeProwl 11:55 pm And they've figured out where it fits in Earth's taxonomy. ItsyBitsySpyers 11:56 pm (txt): Fascinating. Lingering disbelief. Questions... (txt): Where? FakeProwl 11:56 pm Bacteria Proteobacteria Gammaproteobacteria Oceanospirillales Halomonadaceae Halomonas titanicae. ... They named it after the ship it's eating. ItsyBitsySpyers 11:56 pm (txt): Processing. Please wait. FakeProwl 11:56 pm *nods* *will valiantly hold down the next thing he wants to say* ItsyBitsySpyers 11:57 pm *Soundwave is gonna need a moment to research how Earth taxonomies work.* FakeProwl 11:58 pm *prowl might be perfectly still but rest assured, on the inside he's squirming.* ItsyBitsySpyers 11:58 pm *...Okay. Okay, so it's not too different from some other ones he's seen. The individual sections don't mean much to him but he's kind of got the drift.* *And he can tell what the individual pieces of those names mean, so.* Yesterday ItsyBitsySpyers 11:59 pm (txt): Processed. Continue. FakeProwl 12:01 am Actually, if Cybertronians don't investigate the wreck within the near future—not that I'm saying we should, but if we were going to—then there's going to be no wreck to investigate at all. Current predictions based on the bacteria's metabolism is that the Titanic will have been completely consumed within fifteen years. ItsyBitsySpyers 12:03 am (txt): Soundwave protests. Titanic: ... titanic. Bacteria, viruses: microscopic. -Earth- microscopic. FakeProwl 12:03 am Microscopic and multitudinous. ItsyBitsySpyers 12:03 am *Thinking* (txt): ...Scraplets? FakeProwl 12:04 am ... Slower, but similar concept. ItsyBitsySpyers 12:04 am *Small shudder.* FakeProwl 12:05 am The wreck of the Titanic was such a—an immense—thing, in human history—and barely a generation after the last survivor dies, it will no longer exist. The murderer—don't you say anything—the ICEBERG melted the same year it destroyed the Titanic. The evidence that this event ever happened is so—fleeting. ItsyBitsySpyers 12:06 am *Damn. He should have used immense.* *Soundwave holds his feelers up. He wasn't going to say anything.* ItsyBitsySpyers 12:08 am *Nods.*

(txt): Lost passengers also gone - them, long before ship. No markers left, if ship: eaten. Humans plan underwater memorial? What fate, specialized bacteria? (txt): Bacteria will die? This, also lost evidence? FakeProwl 12:09 am They have multiple memorials on land. And museums where artifacts dredged up from the ship were preserved. I don't know of any underwater ones. ... I don't know what will happen to the bacteria. Most likely, most of them will starve and the survivors will have evolved to broaden their diet. The humans are concerned that such a bacteria could be a danger to other oil rigs and the like currently in their oceans. However, they could also be used to clean up the remains of other old shipwrecks. ItsyBitsySpyers 12:11 am *Tilts his head.*

(txt): Human media often overheard. Oil dependency reduction desired. What problem, consumed rigs? FakeProwl 12:12 am First, they HAVEN'T reduced their dependency yet. Second, if it eats through the pipes, that would cause oil spills. ItsyBitsySpyers 12:12 am *............?* FakeProwl 12:12 am Apparently oil spills are toxic to the nearby environment. It kills fish that humans eat, or something. ItsyBitsySpyers 12:13 am (txt): Understood. That, definite human problem. (txt): Cannot contain? Plastic shield? (txt): Inject strain, bubble, wait. Remove bubble after wreck: gone, majority: deceased. FakeProwl 12:14 am Perhaps they can. I don't know how mobile the bacteria is. The Titanic, however, which is the site of the strain, is currently very uncontained. That's what concerns them. ItsyBitsySpyers 12:15 am *Oh! Yes. Right. He digressed a little hard there.* FakeProwl 12:16 am Billions of the bacteria have probably already been washed off the ship and scattered into the ocean, they just don't know if it's going to be enough to escape to other sources of iron. ItsyBitsySpyers 12:16 am (txt): ...Oceans: vast, deep. That many ships, rigs? *Why is Unicron Earth? These things are fascinating. He would investigate them in more depth if he wasn't terrified of Unicron waking again. It's enough of a strain on him to go down to deliver palladium and pick up goods.* FakeProwl 12:18 am Well, there's a lot. And the Titanic was situated on a very busy shipping channel—it might still be busy to this day, I don't know. And the ocean might be vast but it's also very mobile—small floating things can travel great distances through it. ItsyBitsySpyers 12:24 am (txt): If Soundwave's map: human-focused, this, -heavy- strand source location.

*Shakes his helm.*

(txt): Cannot imagine how full scope: processed, within human mind. FakeProwl 12:25 am I think humans are generally bad at processing the full scope of things. ItsyBitsySpyers 12:25 am (txt): Not argued. (txt): ...Cybertronians: rarely better.

*Huff* FakeProwl 12:26 am True. ItsyBitsySpyers 12:26 am (txt): Prowl better than most. Has more strands? FakeProwl 12:28 am Just a calculator where my brain's supposed to be. ItsyBitsySpyers 12:31 am (txt): ...Soundwave meant map strand. Event connection data. However, Prowl's brain location, form: attractive, fascinating, appropriate. No 'just'. FakeProwl 12:31 am *... slow blink. map strand?* *for some reason thought they were talking about strands of bacteri— STRAINS. the term is strains of bacteria.* *well then he has no idea what's going on.* ItsyBitsySpyers 12:32 am *...Oh. OH. Prowl doesn't - he's never--* (txt): Stay. Stay. Explanation. Stay. FakeProwl 12:33 am ... I wasn't leaving. ItsyBitsySpyers 12:34 am *No, but he was, temporarily. Soundwave's up off the couch, moving to the booth he usually runs the club from during operating hours.* FakeProwl 12:34 am *oh. all right. will wait.* ItsyBitsySpyers 12:34 am (txt): Light: dimming. *All of them. Floors, ceilings, inlaid, whatever - they're all growing darker.* FakeProwl 12:35 am *okay. will wait in the dark.* ItsyBitsySpyers 12:37 am *Just making sure Prowl doesn't think this is going to turn into some weird kind of ambush.*

*He spends a couple of moments picking through The File, isolating a small section of his Map. He's been playing with this function ever since he first patched Prowl through and had Ideas.* ItsyBitsySpyers 12:41 am *Without warning, a massive hologram cloud of historical events, random facts, and assorted other tidbits appears in the room. Most of the pieces are connected to at least one other piece with thin strands in different colors, though some sit alone. Others reach off the section of Map he's allowing Prowl to see. If he investigates, he'll see most of these happen to belong to Soundwave's timeline, but a few have timestamps from more recent years and multiversal coordinates.* (txt): Tiny piece. Fraction fraction fraction. These, strands. FakeProwl 12:42 am ... Ah. I—I see. *check out them wide eyes* *he's looking at EVERYTHING* *how many are there displayed? because if it's under 800 he's going to try to read every one of them simultaneously.* *if it's over 800 he's still going to try, it's just not going to work as well.* ItsyBitsySpyers 12:46 am (txt): Titanic event: heavy-stranded. See here.

*Soundwave touches one that's buried in a thick nest of purple with a feeler. It shimmers and flickers a bit, but regains cohesion once he pulls back.*

*There are only about 150 on display. It is, as he said, the tiniest of tiniest pieces. He'll recognize a lot of them as being around the time Megatron reappeared with a big chunk of dark energon.* FakeProwl 12:48 am ... I see. Yes. So it is. *wonders how many of those strands he helped connect just by talking* ItsyBitsySpyers 12:49 am (txt): Soundwave: learning multiverse. -Far- more not shown. Perhaps more in future. Undecided. *If Prowl looks close in the upper right side of the cloud, he'll find a strand stretching off to the D-Void. At least that one. Probably thousands more.* FakeProwl 12:51 am It'ssss... *can't think of a word that doesn't sound fake in its over-the-top-ness. gives up.* ... I can imagine how... extensive it must be. *rather cool response aside, the rapid increase of light in his optics expresses perfectly well just how interested he is in it* ItsyBitsySpyers 12:52 am (txt): ...Prowl wants own self? FakeProwl 12:54 am I'm content with my internal organizational system. But I would not mind seeing more of yours. ItsyBitsySpyers 12:54 am (txt): Negative, negative. Not sharing system - showing Prowl section. That, offered. FakeProwl 12:56 am Oh! *back immediately straightens* I—do you—want me to see—? ItsyBitsySpyers 12:59 am (txt): Reason Soundwave would not? FakeProwl 1:01 am I. Well. *because usually people were rather shy about directly showing someone what they thought of them. even if only in the shape of the connections they made between that person and other subjects. but, that, sounded stupid.* *and maybe because Prowl was nervous about SEEING, and it was hard to imagine that Soundwave wouldn't also be nervous of showing.* ... Sure. ItsyBitsySpyers 1:01 am *He's a telepath, Prowl. He would show you what he thought of you very often, if he could.* ItsyBitsySpyers 1:04 am *And anyway, he fully intends to hide a lot of the personal connections that should be there. They're a bit of an unsorted mess. And some unfinished bits he hasn't finished connecting. There are some things Prowl doesn't need to see Soundwave thinks about.* ItsyBitsySpyers 1:06 am (txt): This, sufficient sample.

*The other one flickers out and is quickly replaced with a brand new cloud of a different shape. There are way, way more pieces here than the last one - and why not? Prowl knows this stuff about himself already. Blatantly obvious details (including a whole blob for Devastator and the Constructicons), things that it takes some persistence to learn, lots of tiddly details Prowl has tossed at him randomly over time, big events, little events, connections to who knows how many mechs...* FakeProwl 1:08 am *his optics brighten even more. oh. wow. that's... a whole lot of things.* ItsyBitsySpyers 1:09 am (txt): This, among favorite sections.

*He taps a tiny ring of files set off to the side. There's only one strand and it's a tiny one, close to Prowl's main file.* FakeProwl 1:09 am *a whole lot of little things, too. some things he didn't even remember telling soundwave...* Oh? *he focuses on the that little ring, then. what have we got?* ItsyBitsySpyers 1:11 am *Soundwave politely zooms in so Prowl can get a better view of the images.*

*...He wonders if Prowl knows he smiles as often as all those pictures.* FakeProwl 1:12 am *probably not, because he IMMEDIATELY covers his mouth with both hands, horribly embarrassed.* ItsyBitsySpyers 1:13 am *The feeler moves to loosely curl around Prowl, if he'll let it.*

(txt): Prowl should not hide. ItsyBitsySpyers 1:14 am *But he'll zoom back out. There. Prowl doesn't have to see them anymore.* FakeProwl 1:14 am Mm. *sure, easy to say. he's still hiding.* ItsyBitsySpyers 1:16 am (txt): ...Apology offered. Admiration, honesty intended. This, unintended side effect. *He kills the map before it gets worse somehow and slowly brings the lights back up.* ItsyBitsySpyers 1:37 am *Soundwave shifts uncertainly at the booth, trying to work out what he should do. Or say. Or - something.* FakeProwl 1:53 am ... I understand your intentions. You—don't need to apologize. You didn't do anything to apologize for. *oh, and now Soundwave thinks he did something wrong. great. good job. Prowl forces his hands back down where they belong. What's he even covering, he's not doing anything worth covering.* ItsyBitsySpyers 1:57 am (txt): ...Acknowledged.

*Might not -quite- believe that he didn't make a mistake somewhere in there, but he'll try to take Prowl's words at face value.*

(txt): Prowl still wants Map? Soundwave would - wants Prowl creates own thread, if interested. FakeProwl 2:00 am *soundwave gets a curious look for that* Create my—own thread? ItsyBitsySpyers 2:07 am *Nods. Waits. Realizes he can't be seen too well in the dark. Oops.*

(txt): Affirmative. Create basic addition, connection thread. Minimal temporary hologram control granted, if interested. FakeProwl 2:08 am ... To what? To what end? ItsyBitsySpyers 2:08 am (txt): Many ends. Gift. Shared experience, understanding. Prowl affects own shape. Sees more formed. FakeProwl 2:09 am I think you're just asking me to tell you something about myself you don't already know. *looks up at the extensive web above* I'm running out of options. ItsyBitsySpyers 2:10 am (txt): That, acknowledged requirement.

Humor tag.

(txt): Compliment accepted, however. FakeProwl 2:11 am I've been known to get them out from time to time. FakeProwl 2:12 am *... humor tag. he's never been known to get them out.* ItsyBitsySpyers 2:12 am *Then he's even more pleased to have that one.* ItsyBitsySpyers 2:14 am (txt): Prowl intends acceptance? Prefers Soundwave joins, sits, lets Prowl explore? FakeProwl 2:14 am ... All right. I'll add a strand. ItsyBitsySpyers 2:14 am *SOMETHING in the room grows brighter.* (txt): Come, come. Follow feeler. FakeProwl 2:16 am *follows? where's he following it* ItsyBitsySpyers 2:19 am *To join Soundwave at the control booth. Most of it serves functions he won't explain, because they aren't playing music, but there's a small touch pad in one section. Soundwave will move over and point him to it with the red dots at the end of the feeler.* (txt): Give Soundwave data. FakeProwl 2:19 am *all right then. he leans over the touchpad* ... Do I enter it myself, or do I tell you what to enter? ItsyBitsySpyers 2:21 am (txt): Type if desired; new file already started. Transfer if preferred. FakeProwl 2:22 am How do I look up a file you already have to connect mine to? ItsyBitsySpyers 2:26 am (txt): Soundwave knows, remembers many files already. When uncertain, keywords used - this, Prowl uses. Contained data, potential categories, related concepts.

*He briefly takes over to show Prowl how to get to that section, then erases it and returns it to the blank screen.

Prowl won't find anything super sensitive. As said before, Soundwave is limiting access and content.* FakeProwl 2:29 am *Okay, so he just searches. Great. now he has to figure out what he's going to search for.* FakeProwl 2:31 am *... looks up and searches the map at the top of the room to see if Soundwave's displayed what he knows about Prowl's eating preferences up there. is it visible?* ItsyBitsySpyers 2:34 am *Yes. It's not too far away from the main source. Liquids, Necessary Evils, gag reflexes (and boy is there something fun drifting off to the side of THAT one), how much time he's spent refueling that Soundwave's seen, what percentage of the total time spent in Soundwave's company that is, the different kinds of things consumed as far as he knows... it goes on.* FakeProwl 2:34 am *alarmingly thorough!* ItsyBitsySpyers 2:35 am *No need to be alarmed. Any other thing Prowl wants to know about himself is about as thorough.* FakeProwl 2:36 am *well, there's something it doesn't have. Prowl looks back at the touch screen, searches for Soundwave's file on gallium, and navigates back to the food cluster next to his own file to connect the gallium.* FakeProwl 2:38 am *it takes him a bit to work out the interface, but he gets it* ItsyBitsySpyers 2:38 am *Leans in to peek.*

(txt): What intention, this? FakeProwl 2:38 am My favorite additive. ... That's not true. It's not an additive. I can drink a straight shot of pure raw gallium. Which I don't recommend, it's hell on the system. ItsyBitsySpyers 2:40 am (txt): Can. Would? What hell effect? What liked? What - negative, negative, Soundwave unfocusing. ItsyBitsySpyers 2:44 am *Clips his feeler to the booth beneath where the touchpad is. Suddenly, groups of additional lines come out of nowhere to tether themselves to it. Other people who are known to like gallium best, people who consume things knowing it's bad for them, people who prefer it raw over modified....* FakeProwl 2:44 am *oh look, other people with good taste* ItsyBitsySpyers 2:53 am (txt): Outsider contribution rarity: beyond reasonable description. Data, existence, input source valued.

*He pauses and adds a few more lines to place it in categories reflecting those facts, then turns to face Prowl. Small helm bob. Thank you.* FakeProwl 2:56 am *a small nod in return. you're welcome.* *it wasn't a huge contribution, but it was nice to tell Soundwave something new about himself that didn't involve war crimes or traumatic memories* ItsyBitsySpyers 2:57 am *Sometimes it seems like trauma and crimes are all they are. It was nice to be told something that simple and remember there are other facets to them.* ItsyBitsySpyers 2:59 am (txt): Perhaps more reviewed in future. This, sufficient tonight. FakeProwl 3:02 am *nods again, and heads back toward the couch* And I should probably be going soon. ItsyBitsySpyers 3:02 am *He deactivates the map and controls, bringing the lights up at last.** FakeProwl 3:02 am You have a mission to prepare for. ItsyBitsySpyers 3:02 am (txt): Prowl also. FakeProwl 3:02 am I don't have many preparations to do. ItsyBitsySpyers 3:03 am (txt): Perhaps true.

*He'd argue that some are more emotional than physical, but that's not a place he wants to touch right now.*

(txt): Still. Rest best. Prowl deserves. *Follows to the couch, for what few moments are left.* *A thought strikes him, but he shakes his helm a little to clear it away. There's no time right now. There will be after Springer. He'll make sure of that.* FakeProwl 3:06 am *a nod. he wouldn't say he DESERVES it—but needs, certainly, yes. Springer wouldn't benefit from a sleep-deprived helper.* ItsyBitsySpyers 3:06 am *After everything to do with the war, Prowl damn well earned it.* FakeProwl 3:07 am I'll be waiting for your comm. ItsyBitsySpyers 3:08 am (txt): Soon.

*Hesitantly lifts his hand, wanting to touch Prowl's cheek. If allowed, he'll let his palm rest there for a second and tilt his helm, then withdraw it.*

(txt): Until then. FakeProwl 3:09 am *he leans into the touch as long as it lasts* *then a farewell ping, and he disappears*