#its just adulthood innit

[orchideous-nox]

freak out in a moonage daydream

Check it out on AO3 here 914 words// prompt: sirius's birthday

The flat was heaving with people, most of whom Sirius only sort of knew. Moonage Daydream was blaring in the living room, James stood on the arm of the sofa with his old Gryffindor tie around his head, glasses askew. Sirius was leaning against the wall by the door to the kitchen, watching in a slightly drunken haze. Pete was crouching in the corner, already drunk off Firewhisky and some muggle vodka they’d bought from the shop down the road upon Lily’s insistence it would get them drunk fast.

Somewhere in amongst the bodies would be Remus, who had spent most of the day insisting he would remain sober until James made a bet with Sirius that he could do more shots, and Moony being Moony joined in as Sirius’s emotional support.

Turning nineteen, the last birthday before true adulthood would set in, felt like it should have been bigger, but Sirius missed Hogwarts. He missed the dorm that he shared with his friends, he missed nights lounging around the common room dreaming of the freedom he now had, thinking it was so far out of his reach.

James had been in charge of the invites, almost every Gryffindor in their year was now in their flat, along with several Hufflepuffs and one or two Ravenclaws. There were even people from the year above them mulling around, laughing at the new taste of freedom still fuelling many of the eighteen-year-olds.

It was getting late, Sirius’s birthday technically had ended nearly an hour ago, and Sirius was gagging for a cigarette, so he pushed off the wall and wandered into the kitchen, pushing open the sash window and stepping out onto the small terrace they had. Squatting against the brick wall, he flipped open the carton and plucked one out, placing it between his lips as someone else stumbled out onto the terrace.

“Hey, you.” The corner of Remus’s mouth quirked up as he spotted Sirius, walking over and sliding down the wall to sit beside him. While Sirius had fully intended to sit alone and smoke, Remus didn’t exactly count, Sirius never minded Remus. Passing over the cigarette, Sirius watched Remus take a drag and place it back between the birthday boy’s lips. “Bit manic in there, innit?” He shrugged, blowing the smoke out as Sirius leaned into him. It was almost instinct at this point.

“I’m feeling much better already.” There was this smile that Sirius reserved only for Remus when it was just the two of them. He hadn’t understood it at first, why the awkward boy with limbs too long and scar-scattered skin brought out something from inside of him that no one else could, but he learned to stop questioning it eventually. As Remus leaned in, plucking the cigarette from Sirius’s lips to press a quick kiss there in its place, Sirius was glad he had.

“Good.” Smiled Remus, arm resting around Sirius’s shoulders, flicking off ash onto the terrace just as two bodies tried to pile through the window at the same time. It was James, sans tie, and a worse-for-wear Pete, an arm around each other as they swayed, James cradling a bottle of beer to his chest.

“Pads!” James grinned widely, trying to sit him and Peter down without falling over. Sirius watched, laughing, while Remus’s lips curled around the cigarette. “You alright? What you doing out here, it’s bloody freezing!”

“Just taking a breather so I can appreciate the party properly.” Sirius let himself settle against Remus, resting his head on his boyfriend’s shoulder, knowing the other two were watching them with lazy smiles.

“You arse-kisser.” Pete took James’s beer and drank a mouthful before it was ripped away from him, James pouting as he hugged it to his body to keep it away from any more thieves. Making quick eye contact with James, Remus tapped his temple with his finger and James went cross-eyed before fixing his glasses, so they were straight.

“Only thing that could make it better is if Reg were here.” Remus hugged Sirius a little closer, feeling him start to shiver slightly. Without hesitation, Sirius slung an arm over his stomach, nestling his cheek against Remus’s shoulder with a sigh.

“Swotty Reg? He’d probably have us all in bed by now.” Digging an elbow into James’s ribs, Pete let out a laugh, everyone looking at him as if he had never met Regulus before.

“I’m okay, I miss him, but I have the rest of my family right here.” There was a wide smile on Sirius’s face as James launched himself across the small space, hugging Sirius tightly.

“I know I’m no Reg, but you’re my brother too.” He muttered, settling down beside him so Sirius was sandwiched between James and Remus, who held an arm out for Pete to join them.

“You’re a hell of a lot more fun than him, I’ll give you that.” Sirius offered James the cigarette, turning to Remus with a smile.

“Happy Birthday, Pads.” Pete yawned, determined to try and stay awake despite the amount of alcohol desperately trying to drag him into sleep.

“Happy Birthday, love.” Remus kissed him, and Sirius decided this might be the happiest he had ever been. Nineteen, sat on a terrace in the freezing cold with his boyfriend and best mates, Bowie still playing in the background. It was the kind of birthday he would reflect upon when he was decrepit and ageing and remembering the good old days.

[convolutedcake]

Y'all ever play the game introvert or antisocial

Feeling like I need more friends and to go out into the world but the moment one (1) new person talks to me it's all over.

You expect me to put in effort to keep a conversation going here? Too much. I'm too tired for that. Nope.

[chittychittypewpew]

Are we grow up already? Me not even close!

Hmmm…

Well , We grow up with certain benchmark ideas about where we’ll be, what we will achieve and what capabilities we’ll possess by when.

As a young adult , I had a clear image of being a perfect adult, spend the time earnestly or like i used to say to myself “work hard and party hard”, learning all the things, experience it and take it what good in me , and left the bad to the memories. Its more to get to know the world and what’s happening with the people innit.

And reaching adult of 27, seem having family was clear with me. It seemed like a perfect, hip mom age, and that benchmark implied that I would be in a steady, probably marital relationship by then too. Which was true, i was married.

And Suffice to say, I was still in many ways a kid myself at 37.

We assume that getting to a certain age equals certain personal achievements. Yesterday I was watsapp-ed to a friend of mine who bemoaned the fact that while her career are thriving, fly over the world but still in somedays at 3am she will still find herself inebriated alone at her room or if she get lucky she said she will have some handsome stranger next to her. LOL

Sad? No way! Why so? . She’s having a good time of her life , because its her choice of life maybe it sound childish for some people. But for me owning what makes you truly happy, is the way adult should be . Regardless the consequences after that thing is him/ her to deal with it.

Its common for some people the idea of growing up was being happy , married , kids good career with all in. Well that’s eastern idea of grown up should be. And my dear friend needless to say we raise in asian minded family.

So does that mean we haven’t grown up at all?

Perhaps too, those moms and dads were just as untogether on the inside as us. Way much more clueless than us.

I’ve previously read about “lost boys” who now roam the planet and resist responsibility, commitment and adulthood at large. But this isn’t about gender issue. Because what I understand we can be a “lost girl” avoid and resist all the responsibilities that doesn’t serve us happy.

So well there me and might be my contemporaries, considering our own happiness , taking our time, doing what we want, and don’t be scared of feeling a little silly that at 30 we’re still not quite there. Cause my friend i still am.

Chits