#its also a little treat for me ig because I'm gonna get a job a worked so hard for for the past month sngmfkd

[lotsofplanetshaveadeathstar]

Why is this feeling?

Hey look, a Rough Day™ that's not a Monday, plot twist! (Tuesday wasn't wonderful, but I'm generously saying that 40% of that was bc I was some kind of sick, so I'm just gonna leave it at that and move on.)

So for a looooong time, like YEARS, I didn't go on any social media that wasn't Twitter basically ever. No FB (except for the work page to do shift trades/giveaways, but that was it), no IG, no Snapchat, no Tumblr, nothing. I was solely active on Twitter, and it's still my preferred site (I really do hate everything going on with the new management though, it's horrible), and I saw a tweet not too long ago that summed up why that was - it was a words site, not a picture site. I am definitely a words person. I can take and edit a picture like the best of them, but the way some people treat it, as if their profile and what they chose to post there is what defines their life, has never been overly appealing to me - when I post, it's usually for something important or celebratory or my annual pumpkin carving reveal, not a filtered selfie with a "quirky" caption or a shot of myself weirdly posed in front of some mildly interesting background for no reason. I can express myself and my thoughts in words that are truer to me than most pictures could ever be, and I can mostly do so in 280 characters or less, which is honestly quite a skill for a person who is great at taking a short informal phrase and turning it into an essay-length formal statement. (Also, you can retweet things on Twitter with two clicks, you can't share anything on Insta nearly that easily, just saying...)

So what does my self-imposed distance from social media have to do with today's emotional mess? Well, one of the reasons I stopped going on the more photo-based sites was because of how seeing everyone's *posted* lives (HEAVY emphasis on *posted*, bc I am keenly aware that the overwhelming majority of social media users only post the A roll stuff that makes their lives look like sunshine and rainbows 24/7, which they absolutely are not) was starting to have a negative effect on my mental wellbeing.

Like a lot of people, probably 99.99%, my life didn't follow the path I thought it would when I was a bright-eyed baby adult fresh from high school. I thought that I would go to college and meet people and maybe get a boyfriend and then I'd get a job right out of graduation and have a place of my own and everything would just fall in line and be perfect.

HA

This VERY MUCH did not happen. I mean, some of it did, but the whole picture never came together in that way. I did go to college and meet people and made some really wonderful friends, but I never got my "dream job" (I still don't even know what it is, tbh) and I'm still single and I don't have a place of my own (honestly a blessing and a curse at this point).

I am very much aware that everyone's path in life unfolds in its own time, and that it is incredibly frustrating that most of the time there is nothing that can be done to change this.

Rerouting back from this little tangent, what was happening was that I wasn't where I thought I would be in life at that point, and seeing people's happy (and curated) posts showing off their great new job or fun relationship or some other milestone that I hadn't hit yet, and it was starting to make me feel like I was failing at life in some way and that everyone else was doing so much better than I was and how could I ever figure it out if I hadn't already done so by this point? It was just a constant stream of everyone showing off their successes (which they absolutely should, no shade there, everyone should be able to celebrate their accomplishments in life, it's well-deserved), and the pressure seeing all those posts created, as well as the pressure to constantly be online to see all those posts and to try and time my own posts to when they would be seen by the most people, was creating so much negative energy inside myself directed towards myself that I stopped going on FB and Instagram pretty much cold turkey. Almost immediately, I noticed a positive change in my brain, which, for me, was worth being out of the loop on people's daily lives and falling out of touch with those whose only relationships with me was commenting "Happy Birthday" when prompted by the FB reminder notification. I would still occasionally post on Instagram and have it cross-post to FB or add to my IG story when at a "show-off worthy" event, but other than that, I almost never used either app for more than a few moments a month for several years.

Fast forward to now, where, for some inexplicable reason, I have started browsing on both apps again, often to the point of refreshing to get new content (mostly funny reels on FB bc I refuse to download TikTok). Most of my long-term FB friends from high school rarely post on the platform anymore, so the content I do see, if any, is usually something along the lines of a vacation photo dump or a holiday outfit or a couple's pic, and Instagram is usually along similar lines with stories showing off a night out at a concert or vacation or some other fun excursion. These kinds of posts are mostly harmless to my psyche, probably bc most of the posters are more on the acquaintance level at this point, so I can look at their lives from a more objective outsider's perspective. Even the posts that deal with life milestones I thought I'd be celebrating as well by this point are usually fine bc I know I'm not at the point in my life where I'd be ready for them (I honestly don't know how some of my classmates have multiple children already, even the idea of having to keep a small human alive exhausts and frightens me).

But sometimes, there's a post that feels like a dropkick to the emotions and we end up here at another Rough Day™.

I don't want to go into details about what the post was, but I think I can figure out why it affected me the way that it did.

Obviously, I'm happy for the person who made the post bc it was celebrating that person being comfortable in their own skin in all the ways for the first time in a very long time, and that is a great thing. However, I think this just happened to kick me right in my insecurities about similar things and that's where my feelings are coming from.

I know that there's no reason to be jealous of what this person posted, because this person has had challenges that I haven't had to face, and for them to be at this point is a huge win. But I think I always kind of held on to the idea that we were both insecure and upset about where we were for certain aspects of our lives as some kind of lifeline, however ridiculous that might be in hindsight, and now that lifeline is gone (whether actually or perceivably makes no difference for the present moment) and I feel left behind once again, just like I did when it seemed like everyone on my social media feeds were achieving all kinds of great feats while I was stuck down below.

I know where my insecurities about this come from, and I am hoping with all my heart and soul that everyone is right in saying that I will look back on this in the future and think how silly I was to be so unconfident about my life and to have these insecurities at all.

I know that my decision to go back to school and be close to a decade older than most of the other students is a major cause of some of my insecurities. It's really hard to escape the idea that my age will only be a hindrance, and tbh I don't know what would make me not believe that, so I hope there's something out there that will someday.

I know that nobody is going to hold themselves back for me, and obviously I agree, nobody should. But sometimes it feels like I'm floundering out here on my own, and having someone else who feels similarly is sometimes the greatest sense of relief, and having to let that go is almost physically painful at times.

I'm fairly positive that feeling like everyone else is outpacing me is a huge negative factor in my current emotional state. It's just really hard to feel like everyone else is on track and going full-steam ahead and you're just stuck in a tiny canoe paddling with one oar and going in circles.

I have a final in two days for a class that I almost certainly will fail if I don't do very well on the exam, which would be a first for me and is probably adding to my Rough Day™. I've mostly accepted my fate either way, but it's hard to say how I'll feel if and when it actually happens. But the idea of failing definitely isn't boosting any morale in conjunction with the aforementioned post.

Sometimes I get really lonely and I miss people who have left or even people who never really were here to begin with, and sometimes people who never existed outside of my brain. That definitely doesn't help anyone's mental wellbeing.

I think this is kind of devolving from its original purpose...

So I saw a post that really kicked me in my insecurities and I needed to get it out to get through this Rough Day™, which is how we got here. Now how to deal with it...

First, I think I'm going to go back to restricting my social media consumption. Maybe it won't be as harsh as it used to be, maybe it will, we'll just have to see what balance is healthiest for me. I also think I might start posting a little bit more on Instagram, maybe as a way to celebrate my own milestones and accomplishments and have a way to look back on them in the future.

Second, once Saturday has passed (and it's gonna be a beast between the exam and then work afterwards), I'm going to make a list of all the things I need and want to do, of all levels of importance and difficulty and size. Maybe this way I can get a little more organization into my life and then use that as a way to keep moving forward with other aspects.

Third, I'm going to aim to do something at least once a month that is just for me and that works as a sort of reset moment, whether it's a trip to a park by myself or making my own double feature at the movies, just something to re-ground myself and help build up my confidence in myself and doing things by myself for myself.

I think it helped, at least a little, to get this out. I think I just needed to take a moment and sort through the emotions and breathe and remind myself that someday soon, there's gonna be a day that I'm gonna want to post about, and while it might not be for the same reasons as this post was (I can all but guarantee it won't be, if and when that day comes, it'll be wayyy in the future), it'll be important for me and that's the only part that matters.

I'm still a little emotionally jumbled but I can get through that soon enough. Here's hoping there's no more Rough Days™ ahead for this year, because I'm really getting tired of them.

(If you've made it to the end of this and are not my future self rereading this, please reevaluate your life choices bc even watching paint dry would have been a more productive use of your time.)

[galaxxies18]

2nd Anniversary Event — Ignite A Noise

Que my skeleton rising from the grave just to dance to Ego because it slaps way too hard 😂

Anyway, I decided to take a break from my mind numbing grind in Granblue since I already finished Proving Grounds + I don't feel like fully grinding out for gems in Enstars yet (even though I should because I have dire needs for the upcoming puka puka)

I mean ANYWAYS Chapters 1-5 under the cut :D

-Ignite A Noise-

Thanks to Haseyama, Starless hastily reopened to celebrate its second anniversary before the full restoration of the shop. Each team received a stage script with five interpretations from one original text. 

Chapter 1 Cast: Kei, Kokuyo, Rindou, Mokuren, Mizuki, MC 

MC  (Today they’re going to be talking about the 2nd Anniversary Performance...)    Unei  Good work, everyone.  Today, we’ll be having an important conversation about the 2nd Anniversary performance-    Haseyama  Quit blabbering, Unei. Time is golden after all.  Oi, Kei. You’ve got the new song, so I’ll leave the 2nd Anniversary up to you.    Kokuyo  Why the hell does he know about it?    Haseyama  I’m the owner, aren’t I? There’s nothing I don’t know about my own shop.    Kei  Fine. A 2nd Anniversary show from the beginning. There’s no reason to spare.    Haseyama  Oh, since it is the 2nd Anniversary, I’ll be laying down some rules.  Even though it’s a celebration, it won’t be much different from usual. The customers should be happy when watching the show.  With that in mind, here are the 3 rules.  First: The shows during this period should only be about the 2nd Anniversary. However, you will all decide what to do.    Rindou  So we’re allowed to choose the program?    Haseyama  That’s right. After a bit of discussion, it was decided...Surely you can understand that, don’t you?  Second: Repeated performances and cast members are prohibited.    Mizuki  Huh? The hell do you mean?    Haseyama  Don’t do the same performance twice in a row. The same goes to the cast members.    Mokuren  That’s a pain. Why is there such a rule? (read: WHAT DO YOU MEAN I CAN’T DANCE ON STAGE FOR THE WHOLE DAY?)    Haseyama  I’ve been receiving all of your selfish requests. Don’t keep using the same cast members, you’ll die from overworking.  In other words, this is the management looking out for you brats. You better be thankful.  Now, for the last one. Rule 3.  The cast members who get to perform on stage will be decided by this little lady. Really simple, isn’t it?    MC  H-huh!? I- I get to choose?    Haseyama  Yes, yes. You just need to tell daddy dearest. You don’t have to worry about the teams. (Don’t call yourself my daddy get out BLEGH)  It can be based on your favourite, or who seems to make the most profits. I’ll leave that decision up to you.    Mokuren  ...Are you alright with that, Kei?    Kei  If that’s the case, all we can do is bear with it.  After all, this store is hers. Whoever she picks to be up on the stage will never be wrong.    Mizuki  Oi, MC. You know what to do, right? Pick everyone from Team B.    Rindou  Mizuki. Don’t pressure her.    Haseyama  Oi. If there’s any disagreements, take that outside.  This is all I have to say. All of you just have to do it or die trying, got it?    Unei  And without further ado, everyone, I hope everyone is able to prepare for the 2nd Anniversary performance well!  Oh, that’s right. Kei-san, when do you plan on giving Yakou-san his Team K stage outfit?  (everyone in visible shock)  Haseyama  ...Hah? Yakou?    Kokuyo  Oi, Kei. The hell is he talking about?    Rindou  Yakou is coming back? And..he’s returning as a member of Team K?    Kei  …(sigh) My head’s in a daze right now...  This wasn’t my doing. And speaking of K, this matter doesn’t involve the rest of you.  Unei, I’ll talk to you later about the finer details.    Unei  Huh? Me? Why do you need to talk to me...?  Yakou will be returning for the 2nd Anniversary Performance. If there isn’t 25 people, the cast members will not be enough, right?    Kokuyo  You know, this talk is going way too fast. Is there any idiot who would come back after leaving?    Haseyama  Unei. If you’re done here, go back to work. You’re not coming back here until you find out what the hell is going on.    Unei  H-huh!? 

Chapter 2  Cast: Zakuro, Mokuren, Kokuyo, Mizuki, Kei, Rindou    --A few days ago.    Zakuro  Oh my, oh my. All the tops of each team. I pray you forgive my impudence.    Mokuren  Talking pretentiously is fine. Just hurry up and get to the point.    Zakuro  Oya oya, such ridiculousness. The foundations for human relationships is not limited to labor, is it not?     Kokuyo  Sorry. I’m not good at exchanging words, so will my fists do instead?    Zakuro  Terrifying, as expected of Team W’s top. Even in such a place, your savagery is outstanding.  However, I do not wish to have my face shape changed. Without further ado, let’s begin, shall we?  This is regarding the 2nd anniversary celebration of Mr. And Mrs. Miki’s Starless.    Rindou  This is...a screenplay and recording?    Zakuro  Yes, it would be wise to hand these over to your respective teams. This is all for the 2nd anniversary.    Kokuyo  Hah....why the hell do I have to bother giving it to them.    Mokuren  I agree.    Mizuki  Oi. Where’s Team B’s recording?    Zakuro  Surely if we present the script, Heath will be ready to make one, yes?    Mizuki  ‘f course! It’s ‘cuz Heath is amazing after all.    Kei  Dostoevsky? And it seems the source for all these is “The Brothers Karamazov.”    Zakuro  Correct. All five screenplays were derived from the same source material.  A grand play about the Karamazov clan’s feast. Different truths from different viewpoints, a commonplace theme in our world.  Well then, this is all the wisdom the heavens have deigned to grace me with.  The rest is up to our outstanding tops. Please guide us well.    Mokuren  Tch. You speak too much.    Haseyama  Hnn...I see. 

Chapter 3  Cast: Akira, Maica, Heath    Akira  Hey, did you guys hear about the rules for the 2nd Anniversary?    Maica  Wasn’t it something like “If you perform once, take a break once,” or something?    Akira  Yeah, yeah. That one.    Maica  I’m pretty sure there were other rules too.    Heath  MC chooses who gets to go up the stage, and the performance will be decided by those cast members who were chosen.    Maica  Ah, that’s right.    Akira  So let’s say, I was put into a team with everyone from K, I wonder...?    Maica  What of it?    Akira  I’m from Team W after all, so my original performance should be “GOLGODA.”    Maica  That’s right.  And I’m with Team P’s “Only seek you.”    Heath  B’s is “Venom.”    Akira  So what happens if I’m put in with the Team K members? What’ll happen to “GOLGODA”...?    Heath  Well, if it’s going to be a vote of majority, wouldn’t you perform Team K’s “MADNESS JOKER”?    Akira  Right?  So I would have to sing ”MADNESS JOKER.”    Maica  ...But at that point, wouldn’t the other people try to read the room?    Akira  Are the performers going to perform “GOLGODA” even though they aren’t used to it?    Maica  Ah...you have a point.    Akira  Majority vote is scary, ain’t it? There’s power in numbers, Maica.    Heath  Hey, Akira.  In the first place, it’s MC after all.  What kind of performance will it be if there’s no singer or MC?    Akira  Eh? There was such a thing?    Maica  Well, it’s possible...in theory.    Akira  Eh. But...isn’t that bad?    Heath  Maybe it is.    Maica  I’ll talk to MC in a bit. She needs to make sure she includes a singer in her selection.  (Your words can’t stop me I had a team of just all dancers)    Akira  See you later~ Hey, since it’s so important, you’ll have a word in for me, right?    Maica  Like hell I will. 

Chapter 4  Cast: Yakou, Maica, Sinju    Maica  Fuu. I told MC about the singers, but I wonder if it will be okay in the meantime...  ...Hn?  Why are you so deep in thought, Yakou?    Yakou  Ah, Maica.  It’s been a while since I last saw it, but the ceiling sure is huge...    Maica  Well, that big whale made of bones is gone after all.    Sinju  What’s up, you two? What are you talking about?    Yakou  We were just talking about the whale-less ceiling.    Sinju  Ah, the whale. It feels a bit lonely without that there.    Maica  Well, since there’s the risk that it may fall again, this is good for now.    Yakou  I think it’s really lonely without it. After all, you could see it even from the stage.    Sinju  He...ehehe.    Yakou  What the hell. Why are you laughing all of a sudden, that’s gross.    Sinju  Welcome back, Yakou!    Yakou  ...But I didn’t even come back. I’m just here to help.    Sinju  But I heard from Unei that you were going to be in Team K.    Maica  Huh? You’re going to be in Team K?    Yakou  Ah, Unei actually contacted me a while ago. He said Team K was in a pinch, and asked for my help.    Maica  So that’s how it is...So won’t be Ginsei returning to K and Yakou won't return to P?    Yakou  Probably. This is a situation with Starless, so I have no idea either.    Sinju  But now we can be in Starless together again. Even if the teams are different, I’m still happy.    Yakou  What are you talking about, Sinju. This is the most convenient for both teams after all.  I won and you lost. It’ll hard to get revenge if we’re on the same team again.    Sinju  ...Yeah. That’s right.  Next time, for sure, I’ll win! I won’t lost to Yakou again!    Maica  Yes, yes. And that’s as far as you two go. The first thing Sinju needs to do now is to continue cleaning.  And Yakou is only an understudy, right? You don’t have the authority to start a versus.  Climb up the ranks first, then we’ll have that rematch.    Yakou  Right. I was given another chance, so I’ll make sure to work hard in Team K.  But, I’m just an ordinary performer like Kasumi. So, please adjust the shift accordingly.    Sinju  Yep! Once again, let’s both do our best, Yakou!

Chapter 5  Cast: Menou, Hari, Kasumi 

Menou  ..By the way, I just saw Yakou here earlier. Did he come back to Starless?    Hari  No, formally he hasn’t returned yet.  While continuing to work in his day job, he’s volunteering to help perform here at Starless.    Menou  So he’s doing this without getting paid? Why?  (Good question Yakou why the fuck-)    Hari  It may be a conflict with his morning job. There are many places that place a rule that prohibit them from working side jobs.    Menou  That’s irrational.    Hari  Plus, it seems he’s starting here as an understudy for Team K.    Menou  Heh, so he’s not back to Team P?  Why though? It would have been more fun if he came back to us in Team P.    Kasumi  Well, Team P does have Ginsei now, so~  Here are the rest of the vegetables. Menou, weren’t you supposed to be peeling them?    Menou  Well, I am pretty inept after all~  By the way, how is Kasumi able to work as a salaryman while attending the shows?    Kasumi  Eh? What do you mean?    Menou  I mean, wouldn’t you want to play the center role? How would you be able to?     Kasumi  I’m from the mob after all~  Us mobsters have our own roles.    Menou  Hm, you won’t budge, will you?    Hari  Well, I think I understand what Menou is trying to say.  Yakou is very ambitious.   He won’t sit by and just idly stay as an under or 5th place.  Continuing to perform at the top of the stage while working as a salaryman is no problem for him at all.    Kasumi  Ah, I feel a bit embarassed now that you say that.    Menou  Yeah. Amazing~    Hari  He’ll only be suffering from here on out. He’s basically living life between a rock and a hard place from now on.    Menou  Really? If it were me, I’d just let go of my main job without a doubt, I think.    Hari  ...Is that so?    Menou  Since...Wait, no. I need to be peeling the vegetables right now.    Hari  You should at least tell me why you would, since you already started.    Menou  Just because I feel like it. Now, let’s get to work. We can’t open the store without finishing preparations, can’t we?    Kasumi  Menou, you’re peeling it way too hard. 

[fruit-of-infidelity]

WHAT DREW ME TO YOUR OC??

everything. SERIOUSLY EVERYTHING. okay but nah fr:

your blog came up in the recommended, when i first made my acc; so i took a look and was BLOWN AWAY. you dedicated so much, and it PAID OFF?? Ryuuto is such an enchanting character, and seriously is canon in my head by this point. You’ve done such a great job?? And its a CRIME that rejet hasn’t putting him in 🙄. (im not lying abt the canon part btw. seriously you’ve done an amazing job making him unique, and YOURS. but also making him FIT IN to the DL universe. he fits in so well. so in my head, he is real and canon. i wanna make so much fan content for him please 🤲)

BUT ALSO. i stumbled upon your main once or twice while getting my blog set up, and was like “OH THIS IS THE SAME PERSON?!”

So i read through so much of your content. and absolutely fell in love with your writing.

Then I read through all. and i mean ALL of ryuuto’s content. (deadass scrolled all the way down don’t come at me). AND WHEN I SAY I FELL IN LOVE? WITH HIS CHARACTER.

Not only am I just an absolute FOOL for hot people, he was alluring? like a ‘oh i wanna see what goes on inside his head but also i dont wanna DIE as a consequence’ Y’KNOW?? HES SO???

But also: you.

You’re such a fun and amazing person, and its been so wonderful getting to interact with you. Especially when I first sent in an ask you were so sweet >< REALLY MADE ME FEEL WELCOME AND CONFIDENT. AND HONESTLY IT HELPED ME BRANCH OUT TO OTHER BLOGS AS WELL.

Also the content you create— From art, to writing, to official content?? GOD ITS SO.

I’m just regurgitating the same points over and over but JUST IN GENERAL. both you and your character are amazing. and its so fun seeing how much progress you’ve made, just from the 6-ish months i’ve been following you. I adore you, and Ryuuto ig 🙄♥️ but you’re more important, SO PLS. KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK.

GOD I RAMBLED SO FUCKING MUCH IM SO SORRY. My brain’s been dead for DAYS, so words are nonexistent T_T. BUT JUST KNOW: what drew me to you was your talent. and your character. and YOU 🤲♥️. and while i was intimidated at first, i’m glad to have met you 💪😎 you’re one of my favourite people. ily 🤲♥️

Also, ps. Your blog’s pretty. And i cant *not* follow blogs with pretty layouts.

What drew you to my OC?

// SAY SIKE RIGHT NOW, NAH BUT SHUT UPPP WHIN, YOURE GONNA MAKE ME CRYYY I LOVE YOU SM 😭😭😭

I'm 👉👈 I've gotten all shy now, darn you- I wanna just gush about YOU instead, because you deserve all the praise and love for your creativity and Gwen ♥️ But, sincerely, thank you so so much for being so supportive and kind, Whin, I'm re-reading over this again and again and I'm so so touched 🥺��

I'm beyond ecstatic that you really think of Ryuuto that way! I always get super pumped when I see you in my notifs, you're so lovelyyyy, aaaaaa 🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️ I'm super duper flattered, I really really mean it

DONT- AAA- MY BLOGS EARLIER CONTENT IS SO 🤮🤮🤮 MY EARLY ART NOOOO PLS DONT (but youre gonna get the biggest smooch for it still, bc AAAAA 🥺♥️)

I'm so so touchedddd, with every single little thing you say, I'm SO close to sobbing happy tearssss 😭 I am trying to find different ways of saying it all too bc I just cant express with enough words how much your message means ♥️

Just to know Ryuuto's being interpreted EXACTLY how I want him to be, with you is??? an absolutely amazing feeling. I want you to be drawn in but then also, just, A TAD SCARED 'cause he's intense and dangerous. I want him to be JUST like the canon DiaBoys but i also dont want him to be too off-putting (well--- just a lil admittedly, cause, villainous boy-) BUT NOW IM RAMBLING-

You're so so SO lovely, Whin, thank you for being always so supportive and also a huge reason for me branch out more with Ryuuto. It's always a treat having you in my inbox, on my dash, in my DMs; THANK YOU FOR EXISITING (and making Gwen, ofc ofc)!! ♥️🙇‍♀️

[partywithgyu]

Hi can you shop me with both a txt member and a stray kid member?(if I can ask for both, if not one of either is fine)

My zodiac sign is Taurus

My favorite feature of me is either my jawline or my lips (the lower half of my face is just better lmao)

My favorite color changes a lot but recently its been around different shades of blue or coraly (pretty sure that's not a word but I'm still gonna use it 🥴) colors

I dont really have much hobbies but I do love singing. I watch a lot of anime too if that counts 😅

I more like to do other peoples hobbies with them then to make my own

My likes are: watching tv, singing, talking, reptiles, pets, rollercoasters, roller skating, swings (idc how old I get, if I see a swing I'm going on it 😐), having fun? (Kinda a weird thing to add bc who doesn't like to have fun but when I say that I mean I like to go to events and play games), shopping and fashion are also big things I like even tho I dress like a hobo at home or at casual supermarket trips.

Dont judge me on my first dislike bc I have been judged by it before but I literally DESPISE the pinocchio movie, I am scared of the whale and it literally makes me think if something is big enough to eat me it will 😐✋

I also dont like those friends that dont include you in stuff, like some of my friends make plans in a group chat with me in it and dont invite me 😃 like include me too, hello⁉️🙄

Also my hands, like its lowkey embarrassing but I have sweaty palms so I hate when my friends wanna hold my hand or when I have to do handshakes. Any other form of affection is fine tho, I just cant do hand holding 😟

The rest of this is kinda dislikes but also just facts ig idk, I dont eat sea food bc I was tested to be allergic to shrimp but sometimes idc and I'll eat clam strips or smth, I'm a picky eater anyway so it's not like I try food often anyways.

This is something that lowkey contradicts what I said about me liking to talk but I'm shy. Like if I'm close to someone I would love to talk their ear off but I am mostly quiet and scared that I am gonna scare ppl away with how much I talk 😃

I've been told that I look like I'm glaring/upset a few times so ig I just have a resting upset face of some kind bc it most definitely is not a resting bitch face

Probably doesn't matter but I'm 5 feet and 1/8 of a inch

I also just get happy over the most stupid of things, my friend once gave me a broken plastic spoon and that's all I needed to be entertained for like half a hour till they took it away from me, same with a moldable eraser (forgot what they are called), I shaped it into a penguin with a top hat and gave him a 9-5 business job

These are some words I would use to describe me: indecisive, shy, picky, short, short tempered, clingy, awkward, imaginative, silly, and playful

I am so sorry for writing so much 😭😭✋

I ship you with Hyunjin from SKZ and Beomgyu from TXT✨✨✨

✨Hyunjin.

He will sit and debate with you on movie opinions for sure. After a while of your reasoning, he'll start agreeing with you. He'll be so interested in knowing what silly thing you're upto. Would secretly try to mould the penguine from that graphite eraser (if that's what it's called). If he succeeds, he would be so proud of himself. Would show it off with so much excitement.

He would love hanging out with you because you make everyday tasks fun. Also he would feel so comfortable showing his silly side. You bet he'll look up new riddles to ask you. Always will hype you up and ask you riddles he looked up online. Date nights will always be so fun and loud. It's easy to have discussions with you and he feels at ease with you. That's what he'll adore the most.

✨Choi Beomgyu.

Will treat you like a little baby. He will actually zone out during your rants about films and then just nod to anything you say. Would be sad if you get mad at him. Would tell you to repeat again and this time listen to it carefully. Would definitely watch the film if he hasn't.

He would love to have painting competition with you. Then he would tease you about how good his painting is even if your painting turns out better. Teasing you is his favorite thing to do because he gets to see you pout. If you ever get sad about it, he'll apologize immediately. Then become the cling onto you and give you kisses while fake crying.

p.s I have a rbf but I have an upset voice. Like sometimes I sound like I have cried for hours. Who is your bias?