#it's so interesting to me that Quinn is so fucking chill unless he hears about the people he cares about going through painful shit

[izkashai]

uhhhh haha

[batarangsoundsdumb]

hae interrogationes multae respondeant quia demens .

if you read this entire ask post you deserve a gold star and financial recompensation

Um, Obviously because when you’re adopted by a white guy you automatically become white duhhh

this is about this post lmao and yeah youre absolutely right, you have to hand your poc card in when you get adopted by a white guy.

Do you think Cass would listen to Yanni, the YouTube channel epic symphonic rock, or some other stuff? There's some cool mashups but idk if that's up your alley, I kinda feel like I'm pushing it with my weird taste of music by recommending an orchestra cover of metal, but i just love that sort of thing and mashups :P @harvestyourcherries 

i haven’t heard of that? but in my personal (correct) opinion steph listens to classical music, and then both modern and older, and then also stuff like black sabbath, iron maiden, but also hardrock and hardcore. i like the idea of cass just liking the most extreme screaming songs full of noise and then also listen to pachelbel’s 370th sonata yanno? THANK YOU for the rec tho

speaking of ur cass playlist hc...reminds of the time (yesterday) i found 2 playlists randomly on spotify from the same user. one was abt 3 hours of instrumental/classical "dark" & "nostalgic" music. the other almost 11 hours of nothing but hardcore bass/synth/electronic music. just an incredible tightrope act to put on in public. the synth one was also called like "psalms for synth sluts" which is Also incredible

tbh i LOVE synth SO MUCH like for no reason at all but then also cannot handle a poppy electronic beat lmao. but this seems like the kinda thing i’d do but just in one (1) playlist bc i just sort songs by vibe instead of genre? that’s how i end up with britney spears and billy ray cyrus in the same playlist. 

Oh, I want Kate Kane playlist next! It would be amazing if you could do one when you have time and will 🙏

how rude would it be of me to just say no? like sorry kate but idk you and also you seem way too keen on the us military for an institution that homophobically targeted you? (and also commits war crimes) but let’s unpack the fact that the institution that caused the death of your mom and sister and also got you blacklisted for being gay is still one you align with???

'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' --- when i tell you i fucking screamed LOL!!!!!!! i can imagine the cameraman not knowing if he should cut to commercial or keep it on these two weirdos fighting on stage (bruce definitely ruffled dick's hair/noogied him right?? 

about this post but yeah lmao. this cameraman just turns to like the audience to get a reaction and it’s just multiple moments of CLEAR shock.

you are the only funny person on this hellsite

how egotistical is it for me to say that i get this ask multiple times a month? bc it literally happens so often it’s hilarious to me.

Wish there was more john/Bruce content 😔😔😔 was so hungry I actually looked at canon media 😔😔😔 (Justice League Dark babeeeyyyyyy)

check out batman: damned for some mediocre content but at least it’s john/bruce (also very interesting story and stuff, just got very >:( over this weird part where harley quinn tried to r*pe bruce or something? it’s not for everyone)

dick grayson but he's nicki minaj

his anaconda don’t want none,,, unless...... 

Dick Grayson was never a cop, he played Marshall on Paw Patrol

you are SO right. also paw patrol is a fucking good show idc. that shit could’ve been the new steven universe on this hellsite.

https://www.instagram.com/p/CS1lI0bLI7-/?utm_medium=copy_link

...

why do people keep reposting my CONTENT. if you are not funny yourself don’t just grab shit off of tumblr and post it on insta,,, get a life. sidenote: should i start an insta and get all these ppl to take my content down that would be funny as hell.

Might I suggest for a Gotham City Meme: something about the true crime fandom thirsting for the rogues gallery

ok can i just say something slightly controversial?? no? i don’t find true crime ppl who are into criminals funny, that shits disturbing irl im not gonna bring that into my very chill universe.

i may have never seen a 'jason cleaning guns in sink' fic but i do know he WOULD

THANK YOU

bestie im sorry to say this to you but while you can, and people do wash their guns in the sink, that is a lot of lead in a very vital part of the kitchen.

people tend to do it in the bathtub.

WHY???? like damn why do you even have guns

i dont think i read many gun sink fics exactly but i have read lots of fics where jason cleanes his guns in the living room. usualy dissembles them and cleans them with a rag i think

lmao fair enough, like i think that’s a large part of what i remember as well.

if you say you've seen/read gun sink fics I believe you. I think those of us who didn't see them are lucky or maybe didn't search for fics by tags or something idk

i mean ive never sought them out but i HAVE seen them,, like definitely i know almost for certain.

saw your tags and I'm interested in Steph/Kara now. They would be the most chaotic couple <3

literally thoooo, i have a wip where they get together in a zombie apocalypse and like UGGGHhhh i am so in love with them.

I am the Breece anon. Thanks for the recommendation; am reading now. I’ve always been a hardcore Superman fan because I love my pure himbo farm boy. My logic is, if one Bruce is a Broose, then multiple Broose are a herd of Breece. And this is a hill upon which I will perish.

fair enough,,,, like moose, meese, goose, geese, bruce, breece. i get your logic and i stand by it as well. (glad you enjoyed the comic recs!!!!)

It's a beautiful day in Gotham, and you are a group of horrible Breece

OH my god dude lmao

there only being 42 fics on ao3 for tim and bernard is honestly so sad i need more

it’s like twice that now!!! we did it lads. (tho very sad that my fic isnt number one but like number 4 :((((  )

i'm too late you already did the poll lol but may i suggest bethy (bernard + timothy)

shit dude that wouldve been so fucking funnyyyyy. think ppl have just stuck to timber tho, tim/bernard kinda died down recently and i think it’s too bad, they’re a great couple and i love them.

Wait, hear me out

Bernothy @redlightofdawn

great recommendation (lmao this ask is from like a month ago) but very sorry to announce that NARDTH is the superior shipname

Wait, we know that bernard likes milfs (Tim's step-mom) but what about dilfs? gilfs?

Wait no, I regret sending that ask

these were two seperate asks and they’re HILARIOUS. in my personal opinion tho,,, milfs, gilfs, dilfs are just about vibes and bernard is just attracted to sexy ppl who may sometimes be milfs, dilfs, or EVEN gilfs.

crime in bludhaven would drop to half if nightwing had a boob window. in this essay i will-

WHERE’S THE ESSAY ANON, WHERE’S THE FUCKING ESSAY

Wait if Barbra and Tim r at opposite ends at all times what happened to Barbra once everyone’s Tim’s ever love before started dying lol

she won a lottery ticket and spent 2 weeks on a resort in the bahamas before returning home and finding out that the joker was arrested for tax evasion and then spent a month staying at her big tiddie goth girlfriend’s house before conner came back to life and she broke her pinkie playing table hockey.

Why is the opposite end thing so funny and compelling to me. Tim comes back from his depression quest for Bruce and Babs is now a literal god

lmao when tim loses his spleen barbara reaches nirvana.

Are you still taking music recs because I have three songs that remind me of Jason that I think you'd like

send to me or lose a toe

🌸 ⭐ put this star into the inbox of your favorite blogs. it’s time to spread positivity! ⭐🌸😋

thanks, i wont tho on account of i wont.

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMduBy3Sr/

⬆️

This is the whole of Blüdhaven and everyone anywhere.

Nightwings ass alone saves more people in a calendar year and does more for so society than most heroes do their whole career.Also u are one of the funniest tumblr pages out there. The vibes are unmatched and the memes and tags ✨send me✨.Thank u and goodnight @julia-flow 

fanksss also lmao.

That's going to be a little bit difficult to explain, but

There's some music that you listen to and you think, "oh my gosh, I can perfectly imagine Dick Grayson singing this song, with the same voice as the singer because that voice matches with Dick Grayson"?

oh yeah totally lmao. i have a lot of songs that i think are just entirely dick grayson yanno? kind of all of my playlists have that vibe, but i really find bleachers to fit with dick? idk.

"Lois lane/Superman" fics this, "Lois lane/Clark Kent" fics that, (/lh) let's get into the real good stuff. Some people ship Lois, Clark, and Superman as a throuple. Most popular fic tag for sure

yes totally, i think they’d be absolutely killer on ao3 and clark gets so fucking embarassed about it.

I miss your post, hope you’re doing okay!!

haha this was like 2 months ago, but i was doing fine then too! just didn’t have a lot of inspiration in terms of content.

Doot doot!

noot noot

I’m confused. What did DC do now? Like with nightwing? And another sibling? Please spoil everything for me

lmao they gave him a secret sister plotline where they had his dad cheat on his mom with tony zucco’s wife, bc dick’s life wasn’t traumatic enough yet.

sorry but it's so funny that batman is called "the dark knight" when the gotham city baseball team is called the gotham knights. it'd be like if a vigilante was running around new york called like "the scary yankee"

lmaooo no. but like yankee comes from dutch names or something so wouldnt it be HILARIOUS if gotham knights came from like german names and bruce would be running around called the dark KLAUS UND NIEK @graysonnightwing 

(not a batcest shipper) it’s so funny to me that the responses are “i’m a batcest shipper because i can differentiate fiction from reality and and it doesn’t bother me personally, but i understand why you oils think it’s weird” to “i wish all batcest shippers a very fucking die”

yeah lmaoo. i personally basically flipped my entire stance around to ‘i dont care please leave me and everybody else alone’ bc i think there’s really no point in starting a moral dillema over some fucking fandom bullshit. Please just,,, go home,,, log off, find a nice forest to have a little walk in and remember that somewhere in history, somebody probably died in the place you’re standing. and you will also die someday, and somebody will have to look at your internet usage and see you fighting multiple people anonymously while being named ‘nightwingsbuttchin200186′ like... calm down, we’re all gonna die this is not the thing to worry about.

so since like "wards" don't really exist in modern society almost all the batkids are foster kids, right? i used to work in the system and imagine: monthly visits from social workers and guardian ad litems, bruce having to get permission to take the boys anywhere out of state, calling their social worker at like 8 a.m. like "yeah dick broke his arm again... a gymnastics accident this time...." their poor social worker. bruce send her a huge bouquet and box of chocolates every month to stay on her good side

i imagine the social worker just getting into the case like ‘yeah let’s get this kid a good guardian’ and then ending up having to work with 22 y/o bruce wayne and his 50 y/o dad. and so this social worker is like ‘okay we can work with this, this is the best home i can find’ and then like it ends up landing on its feet and then the kid gets adopted and then they get a call a year later like ‘uhm so hi, this kid tried to steal my tyres can i adopt him?’ and like 3 years later. ‘okay so basically, my neighbours’ kid imprinted on me and now they’re dead, can i keep him?’ two years later it’s like ‘okay so this assassin child-’

ever since I saw that one post of yours, the meme that's something like "I know that abba's backup dancer got me" with a picture of discowing, I've been haunted. Every once in a while I'll be minding my own business then the image of abba's backup dancer dick grayson aka nightwing aka discowing will flash in my mind and I'll be frozen in place. Today at work I was in the middle of folding clothes and suddenly once again discowing entered my mind and I suddenly lost the ability to see anything except He. Thank you.

wow. the IMPACT.

Braver than any US marine man props to you🤝

this shit is about the time i wrote an article on batcest, like man,,, the fact that i didn’t get cancelled is MIRACULOUS. also like,,, uh if anybody on here did gossip on me,, send screenshots i’d love to see it.

Hello, just wanted to say your article was great. Thank you for taking the time to provide an unbaised answer. It should provide people with nuances they couldn't possibly conjure on their own.

May I ask where your username originates from?

yes you may (also thanks!!!) i thought it up when i was trying to find an original username bc i didnt want to be called like ‘timdrakes something something’ or ‘jason todd something smoething’ or ‘dick grayson something something’ yanno? so i thought batarangs, they sound so dumb and that’s my username story... now it’s my whole entire brand lmao.

yno that bit in kick ass where red mist asks kick ass if he wants a hit of his blunt, was that the inspo for stoner tim

no? it’s bc i think stoners are hilarious and drugs are great. (dont do drugs tho) 

How would u feel if someone actually wore one of those bruce or ollie pride shirts u edited

fenomenal next question.

Dick as lil huddy and Jason as James gave me radiation poisoning and now I’m screaming crying throwing up so thx for that

(Rico suave as Tim is perfect tho literally no changes needed)

i was so funny for that shit wasn’t i??? lmao i loved those weird ass fancasts

You're doing the Lord's work by providing us with all these Gotham/Metropolis citizens memes, thank you for being so relentlessly funny @nellethiel-aranel

you’re welcome!! i really enjoy making memes, but getting validation for my content and my memes is REALLY nice.

Bruce is such a slut in your memes and honestly i love that for him @rhodey-rhudert-rhodes-main 

he’s that much of a slut irl too dw.

Bruce and Alfred have an emergency pride flag for the batkids. Oliver Queen printed an emergency "I love my gay son" t-shirt and as soon as Roy told him he was dating Jason, Oliver started wearing that shirt everyday and Roy always cringes when he sees it. Oliver also has an emergency "I love my lesbian daughter" shirt just in case for Cissie.

lmao YES i had a post like this bc like all of their kids/family members are so gayy

stop bringing back batfam fancasts it is not real it is not real it is not- 😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀

oh yes it is my darling.

did discowing burn down the notredam because he hates the bees? @allulily

no he did it bc fuck the french.

im gonna beg for 1 thing and 1 thing only. please please please put physical by olivia newton john on dick's playlist

okay then beg. bc i wont. physical reminds me too much of glee and that hurts me mentally.

your playlist is sorely missing some Madonna. Specifically Into the Groove, Like a Prayer, and Vogue

i’m scared of madonna that’s why she’s not on there. she haunts me in my dreams.

suggestion: son of batman by aaron dews for dick’s playlist🤩

sorry, i listened to it and the vibe didn’t agree with me.

Hear me out, metropolis citizens sending rare pair fics of Clark Kent x Superman fics to Lois to edit

yes, absolutely hilarious. even more funny if they send like physical copies, no address attached and lois sends it back marked with red ink, SOMEHOW

Imagine all the smut Clark must of read editing the fics

clark reads smut confirmeeed

NOT LOIS READING SUPERBAT PORN AND EDITING IT A 2AM 

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

hc that alfred is a meta that boosts healing factor of the people around him. if the bats are injured as much as they seem to be they would be doing bat stuff MAYBE half the year. no one including alfred knows about this. whenever the kids move out they inexplicably dont recover from injuries as fast and feel better whenever they visit the manor they just chalk it up to homesickness. bruce just thinks he heals really fast. alfred thinks everyone doesnt take care of themselves properly @finchcollector

that’s actually such a great idea, but i think that alfred would find out and learn how to concentrate it better so he can help more people, bc he’s great and i love him.

One of your dickfast posts reminded me of that tweet that goes: 'so you've had sex how many times? Yeah technically that's not a bromance' lol that's dickwally or dickroy

literally tho. like that’s all of dick’s friendships. once it gets past a certain time dick is like ‘wow i wonder what it would be like to make out with wally, wally come make out with me’ and wally’s like ‘we’ve done this like 40 times, dick, you know what it’s like’ and dick is like ‘sorry are you complaining?’ and they just make out.

superfam and batfam associations??

-batman and superman

-dick/barabara and supergirl?

-conner and tim

-jon and damian

pls enlighten me I am confused

nope,,, uhm batman and superman, but dick and superman as well, and then conner and tim, jon and damian and steph + babs with supergirl

I came across a fic in which Wonder Woman calls Batman "Stella" (like Stellaluna, the children's book) and I can imagine the batkids hop on the trend and maybe copies of the book appear at random places (aka, everywhere Bruce frequents)

sorry can’t reciprocate that was the name of my high school chemistry teacher and it gives me nightmares to think about.

good human what are your pronouns?

wouldn’t you like to know?

I need me some gothamites preferring harley over joker memes

everyone prefers harley over joker youre just very fucked up if you dont

don't understand why people try to add like veteran policy to the batfamily

dick pulling out his veteran batfam member card so he can eat first: step aside, peasants

Do you know the song Simmer by Haley Williams? It (the first verse anyways) reminds me of Jason? It's about rage.

damn yeah i LOVE HAYLEY!!!! youre right thoo

Okay so I like listen to your stoner Tim Drake playlist 24/7 but would he listen to skegss? Also I keep adding songs mentally it’s killing me 😩✋🏼 Anyways,, I literally love and worship your playlist 😃🤞🏼 And uh yeah have a good day ✨

stoner tim drake playlist is lyfeeee. also dont know who skeggs is? i’m stupid? have a good day!!

All the Robins (and Batgirl) decide to trade costumes for one night just to fuck with Batman and all the villains in Gotham. @subspacecadet 

batman knows it’s them youknow but like,,, what does he call them? he’s like ‘red hood?’ and 3 people answer and he’s not about to compromise some identities so he’s just Pissed.

I aspire to treat cops the way my dad treats them. This man is a 45 year old Asian immigrant to the US and the treats them like his pets. He talks about them like unruly children. Sometimes he pays off local cops to shut up and stop acting racist. And usually it works. I don’t know why but I can see Oliver Queen doing this

vibes... and also yes? oliver queen handing a local cop a donut to shut the fuck up lmao. but yanno i commit enough crimes to not really want to ever see a cop ever, so they kinda scare the everloving fuck out of me.

seeing as tim hasn't aged in years, that means he was 17 at peak emo tumblr era. im back on my emo tim bullshit and im not letting it go

emo tim had a wattpad account send tweet

People seem to think that batman is so dark and serious when the rainbow batsuit is right there. He wore it with no shame.

dude the 60s were a DIFFERENT TIME

dick grew up in a circus, jason grew up on the streets, and tim was probably raised by the internet

all of them cuss every other word and you cannot tell me otherwise

bitch i KNOW but dc has to change to an 18+ rating if they want to sell comix with swear words in them so we gotta deal with imagining the swear words in ourselves

thoughts on teen titans and young justice

haven’t seen teen titans on account of havent seen it and young justice was LITERALLY my favourite thing ever, tho i do gotta admit it’s not at all similar to the young justice comics unfortunately. i really wouldve liked to see timmy bart kon cassie and cissie animated on tv!!

ew ew ew how to delete batcest shippers I genuinely digust them

log off tumblr?

Okay as poc who was called racist for calling an Italian pastabrain: in the batfam are Italians bit Damian just yells various insults about the others being Italian. Just him yelling “What are you doing you moronic spaghettihead!” At steph etc

huh? i meant real italians. homeboy is telling steph he hopes she chokes on her fucking garlic.

I think it's dumb as hell to pull the batman is the best fighter in the batfam argument because like it's just irresponsible of Bruce to let his kids fight when they couldn't possibly be on his league or something

fair enough, but also like who cares they could all kill you just sit down and take a beating.

lady shiva, thalia al ghul and Selina Kyle are all milfs @notanothertimburtonenthusiastugh 

unfortunately, i have to admit,,, you’re right

why tf didn't someone give joker a death sentence already? like he's a mass murderer...give him the electric chair treatment wtf

idk i think plenty of people would have tried to murder him already (boring answer is: he is a popular character so they can’t kill him off bc he brings in lots of money)

There’s no such thing as “ copaganda”.

all american media is propaganda. happy to clear this up for you

is it bad that I find lady shiva owa owa

no. find her as owa owa as you want.

aight I'm guessing the order of your favs in batfam:

1. tim

2. Steph

3. dick

4. Duke

5. the rest

you’re wrong but it’s cute that you tried, i generally don’t have favourites, but i have a special place in my heart for steph, tim, dick and cass. bc they were like my introduction to batfam. but damian, jason, duke, bruce, babs and alfred are NOT FORGOTTEN OR UNLOVED

oh my god i was literally just readily willing to believe that italians werent white ty for clarifying it was a joke im so dumb sdkvjskdfs

i mean some italians aren’t white? italian is a nationality as well as an ethnicity, so like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

since I saw so many people doing headcanons about the nationalities of batboys, I see Dick as an Italian.

dont know if youre serious or not, but sure.

super random but

jason 🤝 damian

old english

lmao fair enough.

tim absolutely has 1 gay uncle and his parents shit talk said uncle all the time so after bruce adopts him he specifically reaches out to this uncle to be like "heyyyy just so you know you majorly influenced my life yes i know i havent seen you since i was 5 and at the family reunion yes i know you dont remember my name idc thank you im gay too" and then they never talk again.

yuppp lmao that’s definitely something that could happen. i can also consider tim having no family members, like none. until he does like a dna test and he realises he has like an aunt living barely 2 miles away from him who’s like some illegitimate child of his grandpa.

I dare you one of them sends clark superman/clark fic and clark corrects the shit out of it and then goes like ps his dick is not that big, just telling as someone who has seen it. internet either explodes or goes who tf did he not fuck at this point.

i think everybody would call clark a buzzkill and try to cancel him over that.

so you're telling me Tim Drake wouldn't buy Starbucks?

no. dunkin donuts all the way

One of my favorite things is imagining people finding out jason came back from the dead and being like "oh no does he have magic powers now?!?!?" and he just pulls out a gun and tries to shoot joker

now he doesn’t even have the gun :) lmao

my favorite batfamily fanfictions are the ones where they use their shitty codenames, unironically, in any context

bruce gets codename ‘ugh’ everytime. he hates it.

crazy that tim being a 17 y/o ceo and a stoner who does brand deals are all actual canon things written in detective comics comics and not made up for shits and giggles by you, tumblr user batarangsoundsdumb @rowdeyclown

SO CRAZY HUH?

batman au where everything is the same but his utility belt is bright pink

absolutely, but i raise you, his boots light up like sketchers when he kicks people.

unbeknownst to the superhero fandom writers in the dcuniverse, clark and BRUCE are one of the most prolific fanfic writers in the superhero rpf tag on ao3. clark writes the best lois x superman angst, full of unhappy endings and scenes that are a so detailed you'd think you were in the middle of a superhero beatdown. bruce made an ao3 account to fuel "the do the butts match" thing, and makes batman/bruce fics from time to time. he wrote a superbat fic as a joke but ended up making it REAL porny. @concrastinator

dude they’re WAY too busy for that. Oliver Queen and Hal Jordan on the other hand are the most prolific fanfic writers in the superhero rpf tag writing what is Mostly porn.

When the dining table topic gets to politics, Steph says "eat the rich" as the solution

bruce just silently takes away her fork and knife while she’s talking.

[vespertin-y]

oooo ask game! what about kiibo? he's definitely my favorite dr character & i love hearing people's thoughts about him :eyes:

thank u for the ask quinn!! (can i call u quinn?? why does calling ppl on the internet by their first name always feel so weird..) unfortunately i do not think abt kiibo much since i hyperfocus a lot on my comfort characters, but i will try my best!!

Sexuality Headcanon: i'm gonna default to bi bc. i am bi. also probably ace through physical limitations, unless miu got to him...

Gender Headcanon: LISTEN i know he only says that stuff about not really being a boy bc dr thinks gender and sex are the same thing but,,,nb kiibo cute!!! i'm gonna say he/they demiboy (mostly bc the flag matches his colorscheme)

A ship I have with said character: him, kaito, and miu would b a really fun triad!! i’m a big irumota shipper and when i was thinking abt characters kiibo’d match with i realized he’d fit into their dynamic pretty well....where’s my fic where kaito falls hopelessly in love with the AI on his spaceship and has his inventor girlfriend build him a cute body huh??

A BROTP I have with said character: kiibo could have cool friendships with a lot of the cast i think!! kaede not being able to resist literally pushing his buttons is extremely funny to me, and so is him and shuichi realizing they’ve both been looking down on each other this whole time. I think him and kiyo could have really interesting conversations about humanity and what it means to be a human, and i think his relationship with angie + the student council is fascinating. my favorite possible friendship for kiibo is definitely him and tenko, though. can u imagine them talking about their favorite idols together,,,going to concerts together,,,handmaking fan t-shirts with glitterglue and puff paint,,,ADORABLE

A NOTP I have with said character: i don’t really like him and kokichi as a ship 😶. nothing against the shippers for this one, but i don’t think kokichi’s bullying was pigtail-pulling, i think it was distrust. you think the SHSL Paranoia is gonna be chill with the seventh robot in a game with six openly evil robots??? no!! at least in my interpretation, kokichi categorizes kiibo as essentially another monokub. i also think kokichi was...jealous, frankly. kiibo is so obviously untrustworthy, even if he doesn’t mean to be, and yet he’s accepted into the group far more than kokichi is. and yes, he works very hard to NOT be accepted in the group, but if you think kokichi is above irrational, childish jealousy...u are wrong <3 wait i still managed to ramble about a comfort character in a post about kiibo oh fuck oh n

A random headcanon: his singing is good fuck u kodaka >:( turning his dream into a one-off joke was unfunny and stupid my mans sounds like miku herself

General Opinion over said character: has cute and fun moments but his writing in general is how do i say...bad. he’s a nice young man and deserved better than being turned into a “haha silly SJWs thinking everything is discrimination” joke! also his first instinct when he’s freed from the audience being “i am going to blow everything up with a lazer cannon” will forever be the funniest thing to me. he wants to go apeshit...

[luirlar]

‘Razgovor’ is very, very dear to my heart. The number is the cutest, it’s pretty much a Shaw-centric episodes with flashbacks to her cute-ass 8 year old self, we see a big bad being bigger and badder, Joss Carter continues to be a boss ass bitch, and the ending is very promising. An A+ episode to make up for the blegh-ness that was the last one.

I have watched the whole show before, so SPOILERS MIGHT HAPPEN. Big spoilers will be blanked out but references and irrelevant spoilers are going to be out in the open.

We start off at the tail end of a previous case again. This time, Shaw saves a paramedic’s life and leaves before he says thank you. Harold is concerned about her bedside manner. LOL Harry, no one cares.

We then jump to Carter’s side project, which has been to follow and investigate HR. She hears Simmons talk about a big meeting between the Russians and the boss of HR, who we know is Quinn, but she doesn’t. And then she sees someone sneaking up on her. It’s John. Carter: John, one of these days, I’m just gonna shoot you. John: I get that a lot.

John was following her following HR, and has known about her side project for a while now. He asks if she needs help, she says not yet, and they have a beer. This might seem small, but the writers could have played that as a big reveal/surprise that John was completely unaware of (which would be unlikely in my opinion, and too much work), or a condescending (and hypocritical as hell) moment of John telling Joss not to do it, or whatever, but they did not. John trusts Carter, and he is there for her. The number of the week is that of Genrika Zhirova, an 8yo immigrant who lives with her cousin after her mom was arrested and her grandpa died, and who is training to be an international spy. Some people are trying to kidnap and kill her, and Shaw is not as kind and bubbly or whatever as Harold would like. He doesn’t trust her yet and I get that, but also, she’s done this kind of work before, Harold, and she doesn’t need to be perky to do it well. Chill the fuck down.

[1993] There is a bad car crash, with a dead father and a scared child in the backseat. The firefighter asks for her name. Sameen. She asks about her dad. “Hang on, kiddo. I’m coming to you”, the dude says.

Sameen and Gen need to hide out and wait for John, and Gen, spy that she is, is trying to get intel on Shaw and what she does. She’s pretty good. Shaw tells her she doesn’t know what they do exactly, and honestly, she’s mostly in it for the dog.

Gen takes Shaw to her listening station, where we learn she has a bunch of apartments wire-tapped, which may be why the Russians are after her. They bond over being spies, and Gen asks Sameen why is she “like this” (as in, not flinching, acting very stoic, not being too good with emotions). Shaw: You know that thing that made you flinch? I don’t get that. Gen: You don’t get scared? Shaw: Or sad. Or happy, or lonely. I do angry okay, but that’s about it.  She tells Gen it’s been that way as long as she can remember, and that she was about Gen’s age when she realized there was something different about her.

I dig that they brought up Shaw’s ASPD again. From her intro episode alone, we had no way of knowing if that was just a comment she made, or a thing the writers were going to play as “ha ha she is quirky and rude” trash. But here, a bunch of episodes later, she gets the chance to explain some of it herself, and we get some flashbacks. So I like it because they fleshed her out a bit more in this regard, but also that they didn’t make her personality disorder the central thing about her, because they let us know her in other ways first too. That said I don’t have ASPD so, maybe this is terrible to y’all in ways I don’t see at all. If you feel like commenting, I would love to know your thoughts.

The Russians poison the air where Shaw and Gen are so they need to run, and cover their mouths in the meantime. So Sameen rips her fucking sleeves off. Now, a shittier show would have taken this opportunity to do some fan service, by having her take her shirt off or something. But no! Instead they took the chance to make her more baddass, and did a different kind of fan service, a much more gay one, in my opinion. The bad guys still capture Gen, though, and shoot Shaw in the shoulder.

[1993] The firefighter chats with Sameen. She tells him that his dad is military so they move around a lot. (And Shaw recognized Gen’s number as a temporary immigrant one, possibly foreshadowing the later reveal that her mom was an immigrant or refugee. Ya learn somethin’ new every day.)

Shaw knocks out the guy who tried to kidnap her, and puts some construction tape over her wound (does this actually serve any purpose other than looking unexpectedly hot??). Harold asks her to please go to a doctor, that they’ll handle the case. She thinks she is being punished for not protecting Gen well enough. My heart is melting and oozing out of my body as I type.

Shaw does angry okay, indeed. She figures Gen’s cousin had something to do with her kidnapping, so she goes and questions him, and then shoots him in the knee. She is bleeding and ready to fight and I’m extremely turned on right now.

Here is a small collage of Shaw being hot in this episode (You’re welcome.):

Thanks to Gen’s tapes, and John tracking one of the kidnappers, they realize it was HR who took Gen, with the help of the Russians. They are making and dealing drugs, and Gen had proof.

[1993] The firefighter is terrible at giving children bad news. He says some bullshit about people falling asleep and not waking up, and so Sameen asks if what he means is that her dad is dead. The dude confirms, and she takes in the info, realizes she is hungry, and asks for a sandwich. He looks mildly horrified, like he’s never been made aware that different people have different responses to death, and different emotional ranges. He then tells his firefighter buddies how there must be something wrong with her, within earshot of her. What a tool.

(Quick moment to appreciate another classic Reese stunt: they’re interrogating one of the kidnappers, who has a tremor, and he puts some liquid balancing on his hand, telling him it’s highly unstable. After getting what he needs, John leaves the guy there, with the unstable liquid. Except, it’s actually just corn syrup. I live for this shit where John just trolls the bad guys, I swear. )

Shaw continues to be ready to kill everyone, and she tracks down Yogorov. He doesn’t know all that much. Because “cops might kill a kid, my people have standards”. That’s real, ’cause #ACAB #fuckthepolice etc. Side note, Yogorov is kind of hot? Like, I wouldn’t kick him outta bed.

But Shaw is way hotter, asking him all these medical questions that make no sense except if she wanted to… Yup! She is gonna plug herself in and get a blood transfusion from Yogorov, right then and there. She also gets Simmons on the phone, and asks for Gen. Shaw: Hang on, kiddo. I’m coming for you.

Shaw demands Harold to give her the tapes, unless he has a better idea. Which he does.

On another end of things, Laskey asks Carter if they can talk about a problem he is having, in private. He asks about her secret meetings and secret friends, and she calls him out on being a mole for HR. That’s right! Y’all think the queen of my heart didn’t know? Psht. And before Laskey’s dirty cop friend can shoot her, she shoots his ass dead. With Laskey’s illegal New Jersey gun, no less.

I’m so gay.

Carter: You don’t work for HR anymore, son. You work for me now. Oooooh shit. You thought you were in charge, sweet summer child? (Boss Ass Bitch plays in the background. As usual.) Back to the case, Harold has a better idea than to trade Gen for the tapes incriminating HR. Carter and John gave Laskey bad intel, driving Simmons and most of the troops away from the girl, thinking they were going to ambush the Man in the Suit, and get the tapes. Instead, Harold keeps the tapes, and John kneecaps most cops until the only one left is Simmons. They both drop the guns and fist-fight, which I don’t understand the point of, besides weird masculinity rituals. And maybe to showcase to us that Simmons can hold his own, indirectly signaling (with this, and his willingness to kill a little girl) that he is a much worthier, scarier opponent than we thought? Meanwhile, Shaw, ready to shoot everyone, gets to shoot a couple people at the drug lab where Gen is. And she rescues her! #SpyGirlSolidarity And then Harold and Sameen blow up their lab, ’cause, y’know, they were in the neighborhood.

Shaw takes Gen to a new fancy school, and Gen gives Shaw a badge that belonged to her grandpa. Gen: I know it won’t mean much to you, but it will mean a lot to me that you have it. Shaw: I’m just not wired for this kind of stuff, kid. Gen: I know. I figured you out. It’s not that you don’t have feelings. It’s just like, the volume’s turned way down. Like the sound on an old tape. 

I am dying. I am dead. I just… I’m dead now. And I want to hug both of them super tight and never let go. I want to adopt both Bear and Gen and move into a big house with my wife and my children. Anyhoo… Ooof. That was a good episode, eh? But wait. We’re not done here. We go take a look at Shaw’s bedroom that night. Gen’s gift is on her nightstand. She is so beautiful, so precious. But that’s not the point. She opens her eyes and sees… Root! Looking at Shaw sleep! Like the creepy-ass lesbian that she is.

“Did you miss me?

Heck yes, we did. And we are ready. So ready.

Today I (re)watch: Person of Interest, 3.05 'Razgovor' is very, very dear to my heart. The number is the cutest, it's pretty much a Shaw-centric episodes with flashbacks to her cute-ass 8 year old self, we see a big bad being bigger and badder, Joss Carter continues to be a boss ass bitch, and the ending is very promising.

[thezacharywinters]

Halloween Party [TJ x Hope x Zach x Riley]

@hope-robinson @princetjrobinson

[TJ]

TJ pulled his sister’s arm as he lead her to the level e camp. “Thank you so much for coming. I was worried mom and dad wouldn’t let me come but once you said you would come with me I knew they would. I met this girl the other day and she invited me and I just..yeah I just want to spend time with her.” He smiled as he stopped and looked at her costume. His sister was dressed as Harley Quinn to match his Joker but her skimpy outfit left little to the imagination. “You don’t like to wear clothes do you?”

[Hope]

“You asked me to wear this loser, I would have much rather stayed home.” She responded as she looked at him. “You know you could have just invited this girl to go trick or treating with you? Or did something that mom and dad would have approved of regardless if I was here or not.”

[Zach]

Zach wasn’t one to really dress up for Halloween so he just went with both Hope and TJ as Nibs had asked of him. “I thought you two were both too old for Halloween parties? Doesn’t the castle throw one?” He asks as they walk to the camp. “Too bad we didn’t stay home we could have had a party of our own.” Zach leans over and whispered into Hope’s ear so only she could hear him.

[TJ]

“Yeah I wanted you to be Harley Quinn I didn’t want you half naked. Do you know what it’s like being your brother? I can’t have guys friends for this exact reason.” He replied before sighing, “Yes Zach but I don’t want to go to that one. I want to go to this one and unlike my sister the number of parties I have been to can be counted on one hand.” He said rolling his eyes. “Your boyfriend is really in the spirit Hope.”

[Hope]

“No you choose not to have guy friends. I don’t do anything, Zach let me leave looking like this so obviously it’s not that bad. And any other time I would have changed if you wanted me to.” She responds. Hearing Zach’s words she looked at him, “Maybe we will be able to sneak away.” She said kissing his cheek. “Halloween isn’t everyone’s thing TJ, don’t be mean.”

[Zach]

“I mean it does fit her in all the right places so why else wouldn’t I want her to be able to show it off. Well I mean you could have invited her to the castle one then you know...obviously woo her into your room at the end of the night if you were lucky.” He squeezed her hand before nodding his head. “Yeah I think once his eyes are on that girl we can sneak off and have some fun of our own.” He purrs into her ear.

[TJ]

“I am going to vomit.” TJ said upon hearing Zach’s words. “No, just no. You know I can’t wait to have a little girl just so I can put her jackets and scarfs. And I’m not being mean I’m just pointing something out.” He said. “I can’t bring her to the castle. It’s like every girl I bring there something happens. Irene made mom upset, Grace is sleeping with Stiles which you know no one was going to tell me, so no. No more girls at the castle.”

[Hope]

“Everyone told you Irene wasn’t going to work out, I know you still like her but bringing her home was your mistake. And I’m sorry about Grace but hey we should be happy for our brother, he will never be depressed about Liam again so that’s a plus.” She nudged TJ. “Now can we go? Zach and I are missing our son’s first Halloween to be here with you.” She pointed out.

[Zach]

“Well I mean those don’t seem to be your fault that they worked out like that. Irene was always trouble so that should have been a flag for you. Grace...well I don’t really know her. I think it is good that Stiles is moving on from Liam from what I have heard seemed to be a one way street going nowhere. Who told you that Grace and Stiles were sleeping with each other? I didn’t think you were interested in Grace for anything more than a fuck?” He just shrugged his shoulders as he turned his attention to the camp in front of him. “Maybe we should have just brought Emmett and gone trick or treating and dropped TJ off at the party. Might be hard to get a girl if there is us there don’t you think?”

[TJ]

“Yeah well if Stiles wanted me to be happy for him he should have told me and not had someone else tell me.” He replied before taking Hope’s hand and pulling her to the side. “Okay I love you and you know that but like...why did you bring him? I mean he’s great I guess, I have no problems with him but I really need you and I need your focus. So can you be a sister for like one night and not his girlfriend?”

[Hope]

Hope felt TJ pulling her away from Zach and just shook her head, “I am being your sister. I am a girl TJ one most girls don’t like, you want to get laid you should ask Zach to help you. That’s why he is here. He will be a lot more helpful than I am. And I promise I will stay out of the way and just let you do you and if you need me I’m here but you need to chill. You are acting kind of uptight and this girl not liking you isn’t the end of the world.”

[Zach]

“Mhm, I thought that you and Stiles didn’t really talk much after the whole...thing...I am sure he wouldn’t have done anything had you told him you were interested in Grace. I don’t think he would leave her unless Liam confessed to him but I highly doubt Liam would ever do that based on what I had heard.” He responds before seeing some apples as they made their way inside. Picking one up from the table he started to eat it. “Yeah maybe you should have just brought me. I am used to this kind of thing, I helped my friends all the time. I am sure that getting this girl for you won’t be too hard. Does she normally hang around one or two girls or a group of them?”

[TJ]

TJ rolled his eyes at his sister’s words before he was starting to get annoyed by Zach’s conversation about Grace. “Hey Zach I don’t dislike you but you are really starting to make me. So let’s just drop the conversation.” He said before following his sister and Zach into the tent. “A group of them but I don’t see how you can help when you aren’t even wearing a costume.” He replied shaking his head.

[Hope]

She hit TJ on the side of the head. “Stop acting like an ass. If you have a problem take it up with Stiles, Zach is just stating his opinion.” She said before sighing. Her brother’s were way more emotional than she was. Looking around she leaned over to Zach, “I’m going to go get a drink. Try not to have too much fun.” She teased before squeezing TJ’s cheek. “Good luck.”

[Zach]

“See you don’t need a costume though in order to impress her.” He responds while rolling his eyes. “Alright hopefully by the time you get back I will get TJ the girl.” He responds with a small smile before turning back to TJ, “So then tell me which one she is and we can go from there.”

[TJ]

TJ rubbed the side of his head as he glared daggers at Hope, “So annoying.” He shook his head before pointing to a group of girls not to far from where they were standing. “She’s over there.”

[Zach]

Looking to where TJ was pointing, he noticed that there wasn’t that may girls in the group. He put TJ’s hand down as he analyzed the group, “Don’t point at people you could have just gestured with your head or something.” He responds before spotting a punch bowl. “They don’t have drinks with them so why don’t we bring them some. Come.” He leads TJ over before pouring a few drinks for them to bring over to the group of girls. “Take this and follow my lead.” Zach hands TJ two cups. One for him and one for the girls before they made their way over to the group. “Hello, ladies would you care for a drink?” He asks while offering up some of the punch to two of the girls friends since the rest of her group scattered to talk to some other people.

[TJ]

He followed after Zach and stopped him before they made it to the girls as he looked at the boy’s finger. “Are you engaged? To my sister?” He asked in disbelief as he tried to wrap his head around the fact his sister was settling down. Which even thinking was pretty unbelievable. Ignoring it for now he took the girls their drinks.

[Riley] Riley was hanging out by the bar when he saw Hope walk by. He moved to walk over to her and watched her lean over the bar to order a drink, his eyes trailing up the fishnet tights to her ass before he smirked. “My what a costume Hope. Your dad let you leave like that?”

[Zach]

When he heard TJ’s question he just nodded his head. “Yeah I am engaged to your sister.” Zach was quick to change the ring to a different finger before they went over to the girls in case one of them were to see it since being a wingman wouldn’t work if they thought he was with someone. Zach had started off the conversation rather smoothly with complimenting their costumes. Two of the girls were really digging the bad boy vibe that came from him as he noticed that the other girls attention was on TJ. He asked for their names before introducing himself and TJ. The conversation went back and forth as they talked about common interests. Every time he added an interesting fact about TJ, the girl TJ was interested in was blushing.

He could notice that one of the girls that was talking to him was looking across the room at something and when he turned he noticed that Riley was there and he was checking out Hope. “You want me to bring him over?” The male asks while seeing the girl nod her head. “Wait right here then I will be right back.”

Zach makes his way over to where Riley was and blocked his view of Hope. “Hey, are you also looking for a girl to spend the night with? I think one of the girls I was talking to while helping TJ was giving you ‘the look’ ever since you walked in so if you wanted me to bring you to her I am sure she would greatly appreciate it.” He  responds before turning to see the girl still looking at Riley, “There is your admirer right there. I told them I would bring you over, TJ is there too by the way.”

[Hope]

Hope rolled her eyes at Riley’s voice before seeing Zach coming over to her, she looked at his hand and noticed his ring was on another finger. She took her drink and went over to Riley, “If you don’t want me to kick your ass for staring at mine you should go.” She said before grabbing a seat so Zach could go back and help TJ.

[TJ]

TJ didn’t even notice Zach was gone until the girl that was really interested in him started taking Kat’s attention to which he looked up to see Riley and Zach talking. He informed her he would be right back before asking Kat if she wanted to move somewhere a little more private. It took a while to convince her that her friends would be fine and he truly hoped that whatever Zach was doing was for a reason as it was the only way he could convince her to leave.

[Riley] “I’m sorry mate do I know you?” He asked pretending not to know the boy as he looked at Zach before hearing Hope’s words. “Ah you know I love a girls that’s feisty.” Riley said to her as she walked away before looking at the girl Zach was talking about. It wasn’t hard figuring out the situation and he just smirked before shaking his head, “Nah man I’m good but thank you. That girl next her looks upset you aren’t over there. You should focus on that. I already have my sights set on someone and I don’t think you want to blow your future brother in law’s cover. So goodbye.” He said with a sly smile as he moved over to the table Hope was sitting at.

[Zach]

Hearing Riley’s words, he rolled his eyes before grabbing the boy’s wrist. “Really funny, I am trying to help TJ get laid so unless you want TJ to come over and personally beat your ass I suggest you come over and help me get those girls away from the one he wants. And you should give up, the person who you have your ‘sights set on’ doesn’t want you around and it’s really pathetic when guys keep pawning over a girl that already made it clear she has someone else. It would also be just really humiliated if Hope kicked your sorry ass in front of all these people so I would say you should just go along with what is happening.”

[Hope]

Hope watched TJ leave and saw the girls friends watching Zach and Riley. She knew if they left, they would get their friend and TJ would be pissed so she stood back up and moved over to Riley and Zach. “Riley could you at least go tell her that you aren’t into her? Then you can come back. And I will do that thing you like...remember? When we were in the cave and we were on my kitchen counter…” She trailed off biting her lip.

[Riley] Riley was ready to kick Zach’s ass before hearing Hope’s words and looking at her. “Fine.” He said snatching his wrist back from Zach. “But maybe you should chill out Zach that girl thinks you are really into Hope, kind of ruins the whole point of it don’t you think.” He said glaring at the boy before looking at Hope. “I’ll be back.” The boy stayed before walking over to the girl.

[Zach]

“I highly doubt that since I was talking to you and ignoring her but okay whatever you say.” He responds as Riley walks away. “I really hope whatever you promised was an ass kicking.” Zach mumbled under his breath before walking over with Riley as they took TJ back with them over to the girls.

[Hope]

She watched Riley walk away, “It was the same thing you are promising those girls over there. A fantasy.” She replied not looking at him as she went back to her table.

[Riley] Riley chatted with the girl for as long as his attention span would let him before he kissed her hand. “I’m sorry you are very lovely but tonight I plan on doing that right over there.” He said pointing to Hope sitting by herself. “But this guy,” He said patting Zach on the back. “This guy is better than me and he’s into threesomes.” He winked seeing the girl and her friend get more excited and quickly lost interest in Riley. “Yep ladies a bad boy pirate. What more could you want?” He said watching them crowd over to Zach. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a pussy to claim.” He smirked heading over to Hope.

[Zach]

Hearing Riley's words he laughed and stopped Riley. “Yeah nope he lied. He is the one really into threesomes and all that kinky shit. Riley is such a gentleman, he really knows how to dirty talk his way into your heart as you can see.” He responds before leaving Riley with the girls and going over to where Hope was. “Hey you, what is a pretty girl like you doing here by yourself.” He smirked as he sat next to Hope.