#it's so FUCKED UP and CREEPY and it makes my skin c r a w l but i LOVE IT >:3

[luci-z-wont-shut-up]

To all my fellow Freaks and lovers of parasite body horror

I've seen sooooo many amazing artistic concepts for our little Carcosan hitchhikers, and several others beside for things like Kayne and Scratch, but I just got hit with an idea I don't *think* I've seen anyone do yet?

Ok so I've heard of cordyceps!Hastur

And y'all have probably seen a version or two of centipede!John

But for y'all who've read anything with Parker as the "Speak-No-Evil foil to Jarthur's See-No-Evil"

I raise you cymothoa!Yellow

[clownboymcchucklefuck]

C r i m s o n . - National Paranormal Day

Warning: This fic contains major spoilers for Colored Gaze therefore I will only be posting this for May 3rd and will be deleting/archiving it on May 4th. If you don’t want spoilers for Colored Gaze (Specifically, Simon’s route.) Please leave.

May 3rd is National Paranormal Day and of course I wanted to do something to do with It to celebrate. It’s a bit rushed since I had to write this all in one day in time for May 3rd so I apologize for any bad writing or mistakes.

TW: Guns, creepy men, gore near the ending, slightly suggestive ending if you squint and look away but it’s up to reader interpretation.

{Pairing: Simon x MC}

Word count: 2.3k

—--------------------------------- Drip…Drip…Drip. The rhythmic sound of water dripping in the corner was the only thing you could hear along with your breathing and footsteps as you walked into the dark and damp cave. There was still a bit of sunlight from outside, lighting up the front of the cave but getting darker the more you walked down it slowly. You had heard stories of this cave having one of the most beautiful cenotes, wanting to go for almost years now at this point. Despite your fear of the dark and thalassophobia, this was your only chance right now after getting the chance for this trip for only three days, pussying out the first two until you finally got the courage to get here in the first place.

The dripping sound got louder the deeper you walked in along with it getting darker. It was 7:50pm the last you checked your phone so the sun was already starting to set the further you walked into the cave. You were so busy getting lost in your thoughts as you walked that you nearly jumped out of your skin as your ringtone suddenly started to blare, echoing off the walls of the cave.

You fumbled with your flashlight for a moment, scrambling to get your phone out of your back pocket. Looking down at your phone screen you saw it was your boyfriend, Simon. The image of you and him taking a mirror picture from when you both went to the movie theater as his contact photo glowed on your phone before you finally accepted the call and put the phone up to your ear.

“Hello?” Your voice echoed around the cave walls, making you feel uneasy despite knowing that you were the only one here. You had made sure of that since you didn’t really want anyone around while you were swimming.

“M-MC? W-Where are y..you?” You heard the familiar quiet voice of Simon speaking on the other end of the phone. He sounded anxious and worried……Maybe sneaking out of the hotel while he was out at the grocery store wasn’t a good idea. “Ah…” You laughed nervously, you knew he wouldn't get mad but you were hoping to not make him as worried. “I left a note on the counter, did you not see it?” You lied and over the phone you could hear the sound of Simon walking over to the counter in the hotel room, looking around it.

“Y-You did? I…I’m not s-seeing any…anything……” Simon responded quietly accompanied by the soft sound of shuffling stuff around the counter. “C-Can you j-just tell me where you a…are?” He seemed genuinely worried about now which sent a pang of guilt through your heart.

Drip……Drip……Drip “S-So you know how I was telling you about wanting to see a cenetoe one day? And that……There was coincidentally a cave that had one nearby our hotel?” You asked hesitantly while picking up your flashlight and shining it around the walls of the cave to look at your surroundings once again.

“M……MC………Please tell me you didn’t.”

Oh yeahhhh you were probably fucked right about now. “I’m just saying, I finally got the bravery to come here and I have all my stuff with me and-”

“B-But what if s-something happens? ………Bad guys can hide any……anywhere.If-” Simon started to say but you quickly interrupted him. “I got it, Simon. I know I can call you anytime I’m in trouble as well!” It wasn’t really a lie like all the other stuff you said but you were still hesitant to get in danger and tell Simon about it due to……stuff.

“…. I’m still g-going to……come there, MC. I don’t want anything bad to happen.” Simon replied and you could hear him putting his shoes on in the background. “I-I’ll see you s-soon, okay?…..I l-love you, MC.” Simon whispered softly, a sign that he was already out in the hallways of the hotel and was on his way.

You sighed softly, trying to be patient with your boyfriend and not get frustrated in any way and just put on your friendlist voice as you responded. “Love you, too.” You hung up the phone right after and all of a sudden the situation at hand hit you like 10 freight trains all at once again as you looked around the dark.

It was basically consuming all your senses now that you didn’t have Simon to talk to or distract yourself from your imagination going wild. You could only imagine what could happen now especially with what Simon had said about people hiding in the dark but……That was just Simon and his anxious thoughts. The sun had completely set at this point so the cave was now pitch black, having no light except for the flashlight in your hand which you started to scan the walls with once more just to get the paranoia out of your mind. There was nothing there.

“Get yourself together, MC…” You mumbled to yourself and took a deep breath before walking further into the cave, hoping to soon find the entrance to the cenetoe. You had a few candles in the bag you had brought to keep by the water as you swam as well so you wouldn’t be swimming in the pitch black dark, which no sane person would want to do.

The dripping of the water got louder until you felt a drop of water on the top of your head and pointed your flashlight up to see the source of it……It was just a regular cave drip. You stared at it for a few moments until you pointed your flashlight among the right wall once again and finally saw an opening in the wall.

You let out a breath that you didn’t even know you had been holding and quickly made your way through, being wary enough to make sure to not trip on any rocks on the ground as well. You were greeted by darkness but shining your flashlight up you could see the stars through a large hole and you knew you had finally made it to your destination.

You quickly went down to the water and set the candles you had brought down on the ground before taking out a handheld lighter and starting to light them up one by one. There was only about five since you didn’t plan on swimming out too far into the water. Taking off your shirt that you had used to wear over your bathing suit you started to try and get yourself ready to actually get in the dark water. You couldn’t even see the bottom……Maybe it would have been a better idea to come in the daytime…

You shook your head, trying to ignore any thoughts you had about second guessing yourself. You had waited so long and made it this far so there was no backing out now. Sitting down on the rocks next to the water you slowly started to dip your feet in the water hesitantly, the coldness of the water slightly shocked you for a moment the more you slowly lowered yourself into the water but you just kept going, it was way too late to back out in any way shape or form now.

You finally lowered yourself all the way into the water, attempting to get used to the freezing cold of the water. It was already cold during daytime from what you’ve heard but now going at night it was even more chilling. You started to slowly swim around the dimly lit area you had made with the candles. See, it wasn’t so bad. Now you could just chill and have a relaxing….fifteen minutes in here, probably. Since there wasn’t much you could do except just swim and take some pictures if you wanted.

You got your phone out and started to open the camera app when you got another call from Simon, you tried to answer it to maybe get it on facetime and show them that you were fine but water got on your phone and denied the call……Well, you would have to deal with a crying Simon later tonight probably. You took a few pictures with the candles, trying to get some good pictures by putting the timer on and then posing by getting back in the water. You had just set the camera on a timer and started to skedaddle back to the water once again for a pic when suddenly the silence was interrupted by two male voices from somewhere in the cave……

The voices were deep and gravely and sounded like they belonged to large bulky man which was quite the opposite of Simon in every shape and form. You started to panic eternally and quickly blew the candles out, making the area dark once again. You attempted to be as stealthy as possible as you maneuvered through the darkness quickly and hid behind a rock just in case, you never knew the intentions of people after all.

“I told you, I saw them walk in here.” A voice spoke and it was very clear that they were drunk and or didn’t have any good intentions in the slightest. You could hear the two men walking around the sinkhole, searching for you which made you hold your breath to not make a single sound and stayed like that for a while.

It stayed like that for a while, hearing the men talk about vulgar and sexual things while they searched was the thing that instantly told you that they had nothing but malicious intentions. It went quiet for a little while and you let out the breath, thinking it was safe until you suddenly felt a hand grab onto your head and baited breathing right beside you.

“Found ya, sweetheart~” His breath was musky and hot on your cheek, making you recoil back in disgust but his grip kept you there for now. There was the faint smell of alcohol on his breath to tie it all together as well. Your heart raced as you tried to get up and struggle away from these two but they definitely seemed like they had done work in construction or just something……How the fuck were they so strong?!

You started trying to scream but a large hand was clamped over your mouth, the two kept getting closer and closer and you closed your eyes when you saw the glint of a blade in the dark, not wanting to see any of this. You braced yourself but nothing ever came, instead there were sudden sharp screams.

You opened your eyes to see the two men being dragged by large black gooey tendrils, flailing and trying to kick at the tentacles to get them off but it was futile, even as the bigger one grabbed the gun off his holster and attempted to shoot at the tall black figure in the darkness it did nothing but infuriate it even more and drag them across the rocky and rough ground harder. The gun was left lying on the ground but you made no movement to grab it. You could see in your peripheral vision as the man was picked up in the air by his arms by the tentacles which started almost sadistically pulling his arms apart slowly until the man was screaming and there was a sickening crack as his shoulders popped out of socket from the force being pulled on his arms. It still didn’t stop until the arms tore from the shoulders.

You felt bile build up in the back of your throat from watching the scene and quickly looked away but…..Made sure to stand up and make yourself visible so it wouldn’t think you were hiding from them. The last thing you wanted was to become dessert. You closed your eyes and put your hands over your ears but you could still hear the agonizing screams as the men were brutally eaten alive slowly and painfully.

It went on for a whole fifteen minutes almost, the second one being swallowed whole and quickly. Then it was silence with a low chirring noise now. You shakily put your hands back down to your sides and opened your eyes to be met face to face with Entity staring right back at you with it’s toothy smile. You didn’t react or jump and just stared right back into the lifeless pupils of It. The little staring contest went on for about a minute before the teeth curled into a bigger smile and tilted it’s head to the side before you watched the goo slowly go back into the skin of it’s host before you were finally looking back into the hazel eyes of your boyfriend once more who you hugged tightly, now that all the shock was over and done with.

His warm arms embraced you back into a comforting hold with a shy kiss on the forehead. You two stayed like that for a while with the occasional mumbling of him comforting you and you mumbling about how you loved him no matter what. Once you two finally came out of the embrace you both made your way to the water now, gently teasing Simon as you helped him get his shirt and sweater off before you both slowly lowered yourselves into the cold water of the cenote.

—---------------------------

Simon belongs to: @clrdgaze

[hederasgarden]

You Can Check Out Any Time You Like | Drabble 4

Summary: Even after a hunt, Miles still needs you.

Pairing: Vampire!Miles Miller x F!Reader

W/C: 780

Rating: Explicit 18+ only. Biting, blood and the general creepiness that comes with vampires plus PIV sex and angst.

A/N: The photo from Salem's Lot has resurfaced and once again I am back on my vampire!Miles BS. He means well and doesn’t want to hurt you but he can’t quite keep his urges in check when you smell so sweet… Thanks to @wildbornsiren for the beta work.

Story Masterlist ♡ El Royale Masterlist ♡ Masterlist

Miles knows he should resist you, especially since he just fed but it’s hard when he finds you reading in the rundown library, that oversized sweater you favor slipping down the curve of your shoulder. Even from across the room he can see the steady thrum of your carotid artery beneath your skin and smell your sweet scent. His desire for you only grows when you look up and smile brightly at him. You carefully mark your place in the book before coming to greet him.

“Miles, you’re back!” You exclaim, light and effortless.

You’re not weighted down by all the darkness he brings, by the world he’s brought you into. You're good and pure, the only sunlight he’ll ever see. 

Something must shift in his expression because your brows raise and lashes flutter before you tilt your head to the side. It’s an invitation, one he’ll never be able to resist even though he knows he should. You make a soft sound when his teeth rip into your neck and your hands grasp at his shoulders to hold yourself steady while he feeds. Your body is so warm and pliant, welcoming him in. One of his hands tangles with the hem of your skirt and he yanks it up. Without a word your thighs part and his fingers skate over the warmest, most secret part of you. 

“Please,” you moan, already in the throes of his venom's effect on you. 

Miles groans and fumbles with his pants, eager to steal more of your heat and sweeten the blood he drinks by bringing you to orgasm. You don’t resist him, you never do. Just sigh and gasp when he splits you open. Nails dig into the nape of his neck and you arch your back, chest pressing into his. Miles hitches one leg up and then the other using his unnatural strength to hold you until you’re impaled on him, pinned between his rapidly warming body and the wall. You’re no longer quiet, nor is he, as he eats messily from your throat. His hips swell and retreat, building up to mutual pleasure.

The coppery edges of your blood smoothes into something sweeter, subtler as your orgasm approaches. Miles can feel his own building, the hazy red desire for your blood receding so the more basic physical pleasure can come to the forefront. He pulls back to watch your face contort and see the beautiful muscles of your neck strain in ecstasy. In his stillness, you come alive’ fucking yourself on his cock, just as wild and unrestrained as he can be. Blood pulses from the wound on your neck, taking a lazy path down to your collarbone, and Miles bends to catch it with his tongue before it can soak into your sweater. 

When you finally peak your whole face twits in a mask of pleasure and pain, head knocking into the wall while your hips keep moving, trying to pull him deeper. Miles growls, taking over. Roughly, he grasps the back of your neck and pulls your head to the side to expose unblemished skin. When he begins to drink, you come again and he follows, holding you against the wall until he hears your heartbeat slow and your breath come in wispy inhales.

He’s careful to pull back gently and help you stand on your own two feet. You sway in his grasp but smile up at him, fingertips touching his cheek. He sweeps you into his arms and you make a satisfied little hum, burrowing into his chest sleepily. You’d fall asleep like this if he let you but Miles hates seeing you covered in blood, the evidence of his own lack of self-control. 

Bathing you is a small penance for his crimes, but it’s one Miles insists on. He sets you on the edge of the tub and runs the water. You like it hot enough to scald and turn his pale skin red, so he waits until steam rises from the water before stopping up the tub. Then he dumps in the bath salts, the floral, woodsy scent of lavender tickling his nose. Your shoulders droop when the smell reaches you. He helps you undress and sink into the tub, washing you reverently. By the time he finishes, you’re asleep in his arms, skin damp and clean.

Miles kisses your head, ready to leave you in peace until you draw him down to lay beside you and curl your fingers in his sweater. You’re asleep within minutes. Miles stares at the ceiling, feeling content and guilty. If there's hell he certainly belongs there but for now he’s content with the glimpse of heaven you provide. 

♡

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[suvidrache]

NSFW Alphabet - Kushimaru Kuriarare

age in bio when interacting. minors do not interact.

Word Count: 487 / Read it on AO3 | Offline Version

A: Aftercare - What they're like after sex?

- Would either leave you as if nothing had happened or cuddle you. He isn't sure at the beginning of the relationship, but over time he comes more loving.

B: Body Part - Their favorite part of themselves/you?

- His arms and your ass and chest.

C: Cum - Taste, texture, etc?

- White and salty. He wouldn't do anything to fix it.

D: Dirty Secret

- Likes watching you when you think you're alone. You would never see him, but you may sense his presence. 

E: Experience - How much experience do they have?

- None, you're his first time and he murders people he's close to, so you're lucky you've made it this far.

F: Favorite Position

- Missionary, doggy, or lotus. It depends on the mood he's in.

G: Goofy - How are they: serious, funny, etc?

- Serious but may start laughing randomly. For no reason at all.

H: Hair - Shaved, not shaved, color?

- Not shaved and blonde.

I: Intimacy - How are they romantically?

- Not very romantic at all, but would be more romantic after some help and being together for a long while.

J: Jack Off - How often do they masturbate?

- 3-4 times a week.

K: Kink - Their kinks?

- Scratching, marking, tying up, and breeding.

L: Location - Favorite place(s) to do it?

- Anywhere you two won't be seen. He doesn't want to ruin the creepy and violent presence that he has.

M: Motivation - What gets them into it?

- Either fighting him or doing nothing at all. He does like lingerie though.

N: No - Will not do/turns them off?

- Any place where the two of you will be seen. A threesome.

O: Oral - Giving, receiving, skill?

- Loves giving and receiving, but not very skilled. 

P: Pace - Fast, rough, slow, etc?

- Rough and fast. Will go slightly slower if that's what you want. 

Q: Quickie - How often?

- Anytime you want as long as he's not busy.

R: Risk - Willing to take risks/experiment?

- Sure, he loves mystery and adventure.

S: Stamina - How long/many rounds can they go?

- 4, for about an hour.

T: Toys - Do they have any/will they use them?

- Didn't have any until you showed and suggested it to him.

U: Unfair - How much do they tease?

- All the time, he loves hearing you whine, beg, and scream for him.

V: Volume - How loud are they?

- Not very loud, likes hearing the noises you make instead. 

W: Wild Card - Something random?

- If you sound like someone being murdered while he's fucking you. He will go more than four rounds. You won't be walking the next day.

X: X-Ray - Size, appearance, etc?

- 7½, the same color as his skin, a pink tip, veins. Cut.

Y: Yearning - How high is their sex drive?

- Very high once he met you and formed a relationship 

Z: ZZZ - How quickly do they fall asleep?

- Either won't sleep and leaves or will go to sleep cuddling you.

© SUVIDRACHE — do not copy, translate, modify, or plagiarize my work. reblogs are appreciated!

Tag List: @eli-chris / Join My Tag List Here!

[hopespeak-hs-hostclub]

can you do NSFW alphabet with tamaki souh please?

MY KING TAMAKI YES OF COURSE 🥰🥰🥰 I’m SOO SOOOOOO sorry it took a little while!!

ALSO didn’t know what gender identity/pronouns you wanted, so I did AFAB Fem reader! If you want me to redo it with they/them or he/him pronouns - or a AMAB reader just send the request again and I’ll do it for you no problem!!!

Tamaki Suoh NSFW ABC’s

Tw// fem!reader•afab•she/her pronouns

A (Aftercare) Tamaki literally treats you like a princess. Makes sure you take a bubble bath, personally helps you clean yourself up. Will make sure to get your comfiest sleep wear, and help you into bed where he holds you closely, telling you what a good girl you are.

B (fave body part) “every part of you is my favorite” there is no way to make this NOT creepy, but he loves your skin. Touching it, kissing it, biting it, spanking it. He loves how soft and warm your body feels.

C (cum) Tamaki does one of three things depending on what you want: cums inside you, wears a condom, or pulls out and cums all over your belly. His least favorite way is in a condom, but he respects you and will always ask if you have a preference. If you say no, he’ll usually fill you up.

D (dirty Secret) he not only loves to get sexy pics from you- whether it’s nudes, or sexy after shower in a towel shots, or you sending him a photo of you in a new top you just got, and nothing underneath. But he also loves sending those to you. He once sent you one where he was laying in bed with his pants unzipped, and his hair all messed up while he lay there shirtless.

E (experience) he has more experience than you may think. He knows how to please a lady though, and you both take full advantage of that!!

F (favorite Position) he’s a missionary guy through and through. He’s not the kinkiest although he does like to bite and leave hickeys on you, he wants sex to be passionate and romantic and full of love and affection. He doesn’t love the crazy wild kinky stuff. He would much rather slowly fuck you hard and deep

G = (Goofy?) Tamaki does his whole “I’m a gentleman and a prince and you’re just a small angel who I must protect and love” thing while in bed- a lot. and it always makes you giggle without fail. He loves that he can make you blush and laugh while being intimate, because he knows that means you love him and are comfortable with him.

H = (Hair) clean shaven all the time, and he prefers you to be as well, although, you’ll never hear him complaining if you don’t.

I = (Intimacy) Tamaki is all about intimacy. Lots of whispers of affection, and praising. “You’re such a good little girl,” “I love you so so much,” “you’re so beautiful” and lots of kissing literally all over. He loves kissing your tummy and moving his way up your entire body until he’s biting and kissing on you neck and earlobes.

J = (Jack Off) not only does he jack off, but remember those dirty pictures he likes to send? You’ve gotten a lot of pictures of him with his hand down his pants where he just says “thinking of you (;” he literally masturbates to pictures or thoughts of you all the time.

K = (Kink) biting and praise! Not only does Tamaki love to bite your skin, and tell you what an absolutely amazing good girl you’re being for him, but he would also love if you did the same. He adores hearing you tell him how good he’s doing at making you feel good, and when it comes to the biting, he’s the exact opposite of embarrassed when it comes to having your bite marks all over him. He’s honestly proud of them most of the time and puts in zero effort into covering them up.

L = (Location) always at one of your homes. Most of the time in bed. But you’ve had shower sex, bathtub sex, living room sex, kitchen sex… you’ll both hop onto each other anytime you can.

M = ( Motivation) straddle that mans lap and kiss and bite his neck and he’ll flip you over and be ready to go.

N = (NO) surprisingly, no calling him daddy in bed. He loves when you call him daddy, but he doesn’t think of it as a sexual thing, and he’s not the biggest fan.

O = (Oral) Tamaki loves when you give him oral. Like he’s obsessed. Most of the time, he can barely contain himself and he ends up fucking your face. He also loves giving you oral. He can not get enough of how you taste. If you ever want to make him the horniest happiest he’s ever been, sit on Tamaki’s face. Just do it.

P = (Pace) he likes to be extra gentle and passionate so sex is usually at a nice steady pace. It can get a little fast, or a little slow, but typically he finds a rhythm you both like and stick to that the best he can.

Q = (Quickie) have you had a few quickies? Yes who hasn’t! Does Tamaki like quickies? Fuck no.

R = (Risk) absolutely not. Tamaki isn’t the most adventurous risk taker out there, so he’d prefer to stick with what you guys already know and like. Of course, when you begged him to use handcuffs on you, he was down for that. But that’s about the biggest risk he’s willing to make.

S = (Stamina) Tamaki lasts for a good while. He only cums once (sometimes twice) typically, and sex lasts for roughly an hour or two.

T = (toy) one of Tamaki’s favorite things to do to with you is tease you with a vibrator just a little. Make sure you’re nice and ready for him

U = (Unfair) he’ll never admit it but Tamaki is 100% a tease. He says he doesn’t, but he loves making you squirm.

V = (Volume) if you think for a second that this man is anything but loud you’re wrong. He’s so loud- he moans and cries out. He is always vocalizing how good you’re doing, or how good he feels, or how beautiful you are. He does loud deep heavy breathing while he fucks you, he whimpers. A lot.

W = (Weird fact) he’s really into setting the mood. I’m talking incense, scented candles, dimmed lighting, flower petals, body massages with scented lotion. The whole thing. 

X = (X-Ray) Tamaki is just average at around 6 and a half inches. But trust me that’s not a bad thing. He knows exactly how to work what he’s got, and it’s not too big and overwhelming that you can’t handle it. He’s the literal perfect size.

Y = (Yearning) oh, he craves you. He wants to hold you and touch you and kiss you as often as he can. Even when you’re out in public, his hand will always be placed on your thigh, or he’ll be holding you from behind pressed firmly against his body. Even if he doesn’t necessarily want to have sex at that moment in time, he would do anything to have you touch him, or he touch you. 

Z = (ZZZ) Tamaki is an adorable baby, so after he helps you get cleaned and changed, once the two of you are spooning in bed, he’s out within 10 minutes every time. You wear him out and he lives for it.

[arvinsescape]

Behave.

A/N: This is my first time writing a meaner Dom!Tom so I hope you enjoy and I apologise if it is shite, I will learn eventually. I hope you all enjoy 💕

Summary: Tom golfing does things to you and you decide to tease Tom.

Warnings: Swearing, Smut (Minors do not engage) (fingering, oral (fem R), orgasm denial. Degradation. Exhibitionism (kinda). Very light choking. Bondage. I think that’s everything.

W/C: 3.1K

You were attending the golfing event with Tom, he’d asked you to come along and you just couldn’t decline. There was something about watching him play golf that got you going, maybe it was the confidence that he had when he was playing. It could even be the way you to watch his muscles bulge when he swung his club, whatever it was, it always got you going. There was rarely a time you’d watch him play golf and not end up hot, bothered and all over him.

Of course you were well aware this would be a little different, photographers were going to be everywhere and that meant you had to behave. You’d have to reign yourself in somehow and refrain from being cheeky, not that you minded, this was also something Tom loved to do and you would always be there to support him.

The morning had started out alright, he hadn’t had the best luck but you were there to support him and give him a pep talk. He loved having you around when he golfed, he liked how well you could tame him when he got angry over not playing well. It wouldn’t look good if he had a temper tantrum on the green in front of fans and journalists.

“It’s okay, you can still pull it back, right?” You said as he approached you after a particularly lousy shot.

“Yeah,” he mumbled as he laced his hand in yours and gave it a small squeeze. The sun was coming up properly now, clouds shifting and the temperature rose as they did. It was so hot, you could feel the sweat starting to collect on your forehead as you walked up the green.

“Fucking hell it’s hot.” You mumbled out and Tom looked at you, playful glint in his eye.

“Take your top off, might help me with my game.” He suggested and you swatted his bicep with your free hand.

“Tom,” you scalded as he laughed at you. You were glad you’d checked the weather and had opted for a pair of shorts and a t shirt.

The morning ended up going better for Tom, he seemingly found his stride and was basking in the fact that he was winning. Every time a hole went his way you found yourself in his arms and feet off the ground, you were doing well to keep your self in check, you hadn’t missed the way he looked. The confidence he was now displaying as he moved around the course, the way he looked every time he took a swing.

“Like what you see?” You heard Harrisons voice as he pulled you from your thoughts.

“What?”

“You’re staring.” He pointed out and you laughed.

“Good thing he’s my boyfriend and it won’t be perceived as creepy then.” You joked and Haz laughed as Tom returned to the two of you.

“What?” Tom asked as he took in his best friends grin.

“Nothing, Y/N just likes what she sees.” Haz joked and Tom’s eyes found yours.

“Yeah?” Tom asked as he gave you a knowing look, hands finding your waist as he pulled you into him, your hands finding his chest.

“Yeah.” You confirmed with a smirk and Tom leaned down to kiss your forehead, then cheek before resting his lips against your ear.

“All in good time darling.” He said before taking your lobe between his teeth. That had your heart racing as you let out a sigh of pleasure as his lips kissed up your neck. To anyone else it looked like nothing more than an intimate cuddle, two lovers enjoying each other’s company.

You eventually stepped away from one another, Tom making sure to capture your lips with his own as he did. You were even hotter now, the sun doing nothing to help your state, Harrison noticed your flustered state and smirked as he handed you a bottle of water. You took it from him and chugged down at least half of the bottle whilst Tom lined himself up for his next shot.

“Take it I’m better off not going back to my hotel room when we’re finished up here?” Harrison smirked and you looked at him in shock.

“What do you mean?” You asked and Haz scoffed.

“Oh come on, I’ve lived with the two of you, I’ve been around the world with the two of you. I know when you’re both horny.” He laughed.

“Harrison.” You hissed as you punched his arm, causing him to laugh loudly.

“Listen, you guys have been together for three years, I’m your guys’ best friend, I know when I need to save my ears. You’re both so loud sometimes.” He laughed and you couldn’t help as you bit your lip, embarrassment filling your chest.

“Harrison.” You said firmly and he continued laughing. “We’re not.”

“You are,” he scoffed. “I don’t think you mean to be but you know sometimes I can hear the bed- “

“Okay, Haz I get it.” You said as you cut him off as you both laughed. It wasn’t long before you felt two arms snake around your waist as a club was passed back to Harrison. You leant back into his touch, placing a kiss on his jawline as he squeezed you into him, you were aware of the many flashes going off around you but couldn’t find yourself to care.

“Careful.” Tom muttered as you shifted slightly in his grasp, your backside brushing against his crotch. “Don’t want to start that now, I have a game to win.” He said lowly and you smirked as you not so innocently shifted again. His arm tightening around your waist as his lips found your ear. “Darling.” He said, voice husky and commanding. “Behave.”

You looked at him innocently as you turned in his hold, his gaze darker and stern, he only used those eyes between the sheets and you wondered how far you could push him, what he’d do if you did. The thoughts swirled around your mind as Tom placed a kiss to your temple, hands on your waist giving a squeeze before he stepped back. You missed his touch instantly as he took a seat in a chair that was placed in one of the tents.

“Come here.” He said quietly, hand extending for you to take and you did as he pulled you down and into his lap. Your legs draped across his thighs as his arms fell around your waist, the position had you feeling hot, thoughts of the numerous times he’d had you in this position as he coaxed you towards orgasm with his fingers. Fuck.

“I have four more holes to play, think you can behave long enough for me to finish my game?” He said into your ear and you shivered as you placed your head back on his shoulder.

“But teasing you is so fun.” You admitted and Tom huffed out a laugh.

“Behave.” He said and you felt yourself growing wet. You shifted slightly in the chair, completely on purpose, but to the unknowing eye it looked innocent. Tom’s hands moved to your waist as he halted your movements. “Stop it.” Tom hissed and you felt him grow slightly hard beneath you. You attempted to shift your hips again but Tom’s hands prevented you from doing so. “Oh darling, you really really don’t want to do this.” He said into the shell of your ear.

“Oh but I really do Tom.” You said, all rational thoughts leaving your head as the excitement of him taking you set in.

“I don’t think you do.” He hummed in response.

“What are you going to do Tom?” You teased, well aware he couldn’t punish you in front of this crowd.

“You might not want to find out.” He whispered before nipping your neck and you had to hold in a moan. Your skin felt like it was on fire as he subtly licked the area to soothe it.

**

It was a long four games, it felt like forever had passed by the time he’d finished, winning the game completely. He cheered as he did, eyes finding yours and you saw the want in them, the want for you. They were still dark, your teasing hadn’t ceased, every opportunity you had you’d subtly get him going. Kisses placed to his sweet spot, subtly grinding against him, it was all getting the two of you riled up.

You knew your underwear was completely damp, the material soaked as you thought about what he was going to do to you when you fell into the hotel room. He celebrated for a while, signing autographs and taking pictures until he was told he was able to head back to the hotel room. Which he did instantly, hand finding yours as he led you through the lobby of the hotel. Harrison and Harry had opted to go out for the afternoon, they had both picked up on the tension.

As soon as the lift doors shut, you found yourself pressed against the side of it, Tom’s hand finding your thigh as he hoisted it up his leg. His lips finding yours as he pulled you in for a kiss, it was desperate, needy as he sucked your bottom lip, grazing his teeth over it as he dove straight back in. Tongues clashing as he ground his hips into yours causing a moan to leave your lips.

“Such a needy little brat aren’t you?” He chuckled slightly as his fingers dipped into your shorts and felt how wet you already were for him. “Not even touched you yet and you’re already soaked.” He said as the lift dinged to say you’d reached your floor, you were breathless as Tom pulled away, pulling you down the corridor and into your hotel room.

It wasn’t long before your back found the door and his lips were back on yours, desperate pants and whines leaving your lips as you tried to grind your hips into his.

“So desperate for my cock aren’t you? Couldn’t behave yourself for a morning could you?” He said and you felt yourself grow hotter with his words, desperate for something from him.

“Tom, please.” You begged him and he pulled back to look at you, hand finding your jaw as he forced you to keep eye contact with him.

“What?” He asked, “what is it you want?” He asked as his thumb slipped into your mouth. Your tongue finding the digit as you sucked it, watching as Tom’s eyes darkened further. “Tell me what you want.” Tom demanded as he pulled his thumb from your mouth causing you to whine at the loss of contact.

“Touch me Tom, please.” You begged pathetically and Tom chuckled as his hand slipped as he placed it around your neck, carefully, not too much pressure.

“But you’ve been such a brat, I told you didn’t want to tease me. I don’t think you deserve for me to touch you.” He said and you whined again as you reached out for him, his free hand catching it as he pinned it to the wall beside you. “What makes you think you should get your own way?” He asked as his breath fanned your face.

“Please, Tom. I promise I’ll behave.” You begged, your body aching for his touch by this point.

“You weren’t behaving when you were trying to get me hard in public. That would have been a real problem for me, all those people around. I warned you multiple times princess, why should I believe you want to behave now?” He asked, he was so close, every part of him was close but he wasn’t giving you anything, he wasn’t caving.

“I will, I promise, let me prove it to you.” You said and he pulled back as if in thought and you wondered what he’d have in store for you.

“Get on the bed.” He demanded as he let you go, you immediately obeyed, crawling onto the bed as you laid in the middle of it. You were hot, hotter than you’d been all day, despite the air con that was seemingly having no effect on your blazing skin. Tom fished around in his suitcase for a moment before he pulled out a grey object, your heart beating with anticipation.

He joined you on the bed, stripping you of all your clothing. His golf cap had been removed as soon as you stepped foot into the room, his curls just begging to have your hands in them. He hovered over you as you awaited his next instruction, you were completely bare beneath him whilst he was still fully clothed. Something about the vulnerability of your position making your heart pound and your walls clench.

“Arms up.” He commanded.

“But Tom-“ You began to protest but he stopped you, your body was desperate to feel him, anything he would give you’d take at this point. This was one of the many reasons you loved riling him up, the pleasure you’d receive afterwards was mind blowing. Sex with Tom was always amazing but when you teased him he’d make you work for it and you loved it.

“I thought you said you were going to behave. Or are we in a bratty mood today Y/N?” He asked and you instantly shook your head as you raised your arms above them. It wasn’t long before you were tied to the bed, arms secure above you. “Now are you going to be a good girl for me? Take what I give you?” He asked with a knowing look and you nodded furiously as he kissed your cheek.

“Safe word?” He asked, a little more seriously into your ear, there had been the odd occasion where the restraints had been too much, too tight or you just weren’t feeling them in the way you usually did.

“Red.” You confirmed and he kissed your cheek again.

“Good girl” he said. His hand travelled down your body, stopping as he cupped your wet cunt. “You are such a desperate little thing, all wet and ready for me and I’ve barely even touched you. Do you want me to touch you princess?” He asked, eyes finding yours and you nodded in response. “Words Y/N, come on, you know how this works. What do you want?”

“Anything Tom, I just want you to touch me.” You said as you raised your hips from the bed slightly. Tom was quick to pin them back to the mattress as he tutted at you.

“What do you think you deserve? My fingers, tongue? Certainly not my cock, not until you start behaving.”

“Your fingers.” You panted out as your hands pulled on your restraints, to no avail, you were bound tightly to the bed frame. Tom hummed in response as he traced his fingers up your figure, stopping to play with your nipple that coaxed a gasp from your lips. He tugged on the hardened bud before bringing his lips down to encase it. Flicking his tongue against it as he rolled your other nipple between his fingers.

“Fucking love these.” Tom muttered as he placed his lips at the top of your breast and sucked harshly. It caused you to squirm beneath him, the sensation going straight to your already wet core, the pleasure of finally being touched had you moaning. “Stay still.” He commanded and you tried your hardest to, using every bit of your will power to behave for him. “Good girl.” He said as he listened to your pants and moans, he pulled back after a while and looked down at you.

“All mine.” He said and you knew when you looked in the mirror you’d find his mark. He ran his fingers back down your figure, leaving a trail of fire in his wake, he’d gotten you completely riled up, you were under his control completely now and you wouldn’t have it any other way. His fingers found your entrance as he teased it, finger lightly pressing into it as he got his finger wet with your arousal.

His finger found your clit as he began to rub it in a figure eight motion, you moaned almost pathetically at the contact. Your body reacting instantly to his touch.

“Does my little brat enjoy watching me play golf?” He asked as he continued to rub your clit.

“Yes.” You moaned out as you threw your head back at the pleasure coursing through you. He slowed his movements, he was rubbing torturously slow now. He was face to face with you now, hand planted next to your head as he hovered over you, his tight golf shirt leaving nothing to your imagination. You could see everything, as his bicep bulged from the weight of holding himself up.

“Such a whore for me on the golf course aren’t you?” He asked as he slowly sped up his movements. “Bet you’d have got on your knees and sucked my cock if I’d have asked wouldn’t you?”

“Yes Tom.” You moaned out and he breathed out a laugh.

“Always so fucking needy for me when I’m playing, just can’t behave can you?” He asked and you felt your orgasm approach.

“You just look so good Tom, I can’t help it.” You moaned out and Tom continued to work you towards an orgasm. “Tom, please. I need your tongue.” You moaned as he was kissing your neck, more than likely making another mark on your skin. He moved down your body, eyes connecting with you own as he went.

“I want you to look at me. Nowhere else, me.” He demanded, his tone sending pleasure straight through you. Accent thick from how turned on he was by this point. He moved his fingers and placed his tongue around your clit as you looked down at him, not daring to break eye contact. He placed his finger inside you and groaned against your clit when he felt your walls clench around it. “Such a greedy thing, taking everything I give you.” He said as he placed a second finger into you.

Your orgasm was fast approaching, hands pulling against the restraints as you wanted to run your fingers through his hair. His eyes never left yours as he sucked and flicked at your clit, free arm pinning your hips to the bed as you squirmed beneath him. A layer of sweat was now covering your skin. You were so close.

“Tom I’m gonna- “You started but before you could finish your sentence he withdrew from you, placing kisses up your body. “Tom what?” You choked out, as he placed a kiss on your jawline and then cheek before hovering his lips over your own.

“I need a shower.” Tom spoke, breathe hitting your face and you looked up at him in disbelief.

“But Tom.” You began to protest until he pressed a kiss to your lips.

“I told you not to tease me baby. I warned you, more than once and you still wouldn’t behave, this is your punishment for being a brat. Now behave whilst I shower and then we’ll see about that orgasm, yeah?” He spoke as he placed a final kiss to your lips and stood leaving you. You were so sexually frustrated by this point, a denied orgasm only adding to the feeling.

“Please Tom, don’t take too long.” You begged as you watched him open the en-suite door.

“Oh darling, I plan to take my sweet time about it.” He said as he placed the fingers that had been inside you into his mouth with a wink.

[beelspillowpet]

Filthy Otaku - Leviathan x Fem!MC

Another thing I’ve been whipping up for when I hit 100 followers on this account~ I recall seeing a snippet from someone else about degrading Leviathan and I couldn’t help but dive into that topic more here~ I love our little Otaku snake boy so much  ♡

Content Warning!!! Degradation kink, slight edgeplay, generally just being mean, but is still somewhat soft towards the end. MC is a female.

You didn’t need to hustle. Life in the Devildom wasn’t always easy, but one thing that kept you neck deep out of trouble was money. The Avatar of Greed let you in on a little secret; life down here in the Devildom wasn’t too different from life in the human realm. Get a little bit of cash to spend, you’ll have demons dancing in the palm of your hand.

What started as a little joke quickly devolved into a means of getting consistent cash. It was like a little daily piggy bank, spilling its contents for you to keep forever. You somehow never suspected the creepy Otaku to be the real pervert in the family; especially with Asmodeus right there.

After your shower, you felt clean and refreshed. Nothing felt better than pampering your skin after a long day. To get into nice clean clothes, and then crawl into bed to wake up the next day. Or at least whenever Lucifer woke you up. You still weren’t used to the day/night cycle, without a sun to tell you to wake up.

Now, though, you added something new to your shower routines. You slipped into your new pajamas, silky smooth. Asmodeus had wanted a pair like that for a while, and questioned how you got your hands on it. The others did as well. You gave a sly grin, “That’s a secret~” you purr. The secret was the Third Born.

You walked down the hallway in nothing but your robe. After knocking a few times, you opened the door without giving the phrase. You didn't need it. No one else came into his room at these sorts of hours. “Levi,” you say boredly. He sits up from his bed (bathtub, really) and removes his headphones. His face is flushed.

“I’ve got a new pair for ya’,” you smirk, reaching into the pocket of your robe to pull out your underwear. It was a pair you had just taken off before your shower. It only made sense that deprived freaks like Leviathan would be into this sort of thing. Using the underwear of pretty girls to jack off with, sniff, and do whatever else it is weirdos do with them.

Leviathan scrambled from out of the bathtub and over to you. His clammy hands reached for the used pair, before you snatched them away. Your other hand came out, curling the fingers and uncurling them.

“Grimm,” you instruct. “I want cash in hand, before I hand anything over. So go get my grimm.”

Leviathan nods, going back to his bathtub and leaning over it. You stare at him, admittedly a bit turned on by how excited he is to use a new pair of your underwear. He returns with a hand full of grimm, and another hand with your used up underwear from the previous day.

“I figured you might… want them back?” he tries, but doesn’t offer them with the grimm.

“No,” you say scoffed. “I don’t want my used underwear back. That’s disgusting.” he cringes a bit, but takes the new pair in place of his grimm. You step back and look him over once. He’s flushed, a bit out of breath, and very shaky. “You were just jerking off, weren’t you?”

He shamefully nods, not looking you in the eyes. You smirk. This might be your chance to try something out.

“You really are a disgusting otaku freak.” You spat out. He shuddered. “That one was free, by the way.” He lowers his head and steps back towards his bathtub. He had expected you to leave, but you just stood there, confident smirk on your face. “I want to try something.” you say. “I want to watch you sit in that chair,” you point to his gaming chair across the room. “Touch yourself. I want to see how a revolting freak like you gets off.”

He swallowed, his knees weak. He wasn’t sure how much more he could take already. He sat in his chair across the room, sliding down his pants to present his hardened cock. With both pairs of used underwear in his hands, he wrapped the silk fabric around his girth and stroked slowly. He was slow now, giving soft pants every now and then. You were getting bored quickly.

“Yank it already, god dammit. Or are you making love to my fucking panties?” You scowl. You’re almost running across the room now, going through his drawers. You know he’s got a toy or two hidden in here somewhere. If not for- aha. Your eyes land on his bathtub, where you know he keeps his Ruri-Chan body pillow. You pace towards it, reach inside, and pull out the body pillow. His eyes widen in fear, his hand stilling.

“W-what’re you-”

“I wonder if I cut a hole in her face and stick a onahole inside, would that get you off faster?” You muse. “Face-fucking your cute Ruri-Chan pillow for me. I bet you’d thought of doing it before, am I right?”

“N-not to R...Ruri-Chan, no…” he trembles. You raise an eyebrow. He must be lying, but you don’t press on it.

“Have you thought about me?”

The color in his face drains. Bingo.

You drop the body pillow back into the bathtub lazily, creeping towards him. “Stroke yourself, you pathetic bitch.” you sneer. As if he was a fully charged battery, his hand stuttered back to life. It was robotic, as if he were merely following orders. “That’s right. Mm, you’ve thought about it, haven’t you? Fucking me silly in your bathtub. On the floor. Against the wall. You’ve thought of doing horrible things to me, haven’t you, Levi?”

“Yes,” he breathes. “I-I’ve thought of you. Your body, d-doing lewd things t-to you, aah…”

“Tell me.” You cooed, right next to his ear now. “Tell me some of the things you’ve wanted to do to me.” You turned and kissed his temple. He choked on his own spit for a moment, stroking himself harder.

“I-I can’t…” he sobs. “P-please, it’s too embarrassing…”

“Tell me or I’ll never give you another used pair of underwear again.” You threaten. His eyes open and he jolts away from you, staring bewildered. “I mean it, Levi. I can just give my used panties to another sweaty, fat bastard. Someone somehow much less useful that you. But…” his eyes brighten, a distorted smile slowly creeping across his lips. “If you tell me… I might bless you. By taking your virginity for you?” you pout innocently.

He pants, squeezing his cock in his fist. “Re...really?! You’d let me-?”

“I don’t want you to speak another fucking word. Not unless it’s about what you imagine doing to me. Do you understand?”

“F-fucking your thighs…” he starts slow. He licks his lower lips before continuing. “M-making you were thigh highs and pushing c-cock…. Between them.”

“Am I only wearing thigh highs?” Your hands start massaging his shoulders gently. “You like when I touch you, huh? Even if our knuckles brush, it just makes you so hot and bothered doesn’t it?”

Leviathan let out a puffy sigh, stroking himself slower. You eyed his hand as he kept talking. Occasionally butting into his fantasies. Your touches roamed from his chest, to his neck, where you unceremoniously choked him for a few seconds. There was a time where you took to slapping him, and even thought of spitting on him. While you didn’t deny the fact that he would be into it, it still stopped you from going through with it. You weren’t an idiot; if you pissed him off somehow, he would tear you to bits. Maybe fuck you before doing it, though.

You stood up straight, hissing. “Are you edging yourself?” you question. By now he was a shivering mess, barely able to string words together. “Fucking loser. You’re so desperate for pussy. You’re wanting for me to open my legs like a cheap whore for you. You want to fuck me?”

“Y...y-yes… Want to… please you…”

You smirk. “Good boy. You might be worth something after all. Well then? Get up. Now.”

It took him a moment, stumbling out of his seat and on to shaky sea legs. You opened your robe and discarded it on the floor. “By the way,” you start, a smile on your face, a smile in your voice. “You’ll pay for this too, in the morning. Even more if you cum inside. Got that?”

With that, you sit in his chair and slouch. “Get to it then, you worthless sack of shit. Make me feel good. Make your mommy- your master- your precious senpai feel good. You think you can do that? With your pathetic otaku dick, you think you can please me?” You lift your knees up to your chest before opening your thighs slowly, a cocky grin spread across your face. You move down to your pussy and trace circles across your clit. He’s watching, cock in hand, hunched over like an animal.

Just like one, he pounces.

He barely shoves more than half of his cock inside you and you’re clamping down hard on him. You give a choked groan that dies somewhere in the back of your throat when he immediately starts thrusting in. His hips are moving at an uneven, wild pace. He pulls almost all the way out, leaving you empty, trying to suck him back in. Then he bottoms out all in one thrust, making your body spasm.

“Fuck!” You yell, nearly kicking him in the face. “Calm the fuck down!” He leans forward, now hovering over you. “Fucking freak! I said calm down!” he doesn’t listen, too wrapped up in the pleasure of your fresh, wet pussy to do anything else. One of his hands grabs your ankle, the other his supporting him against the chair as he pounds into you. His hips crashing into yours leaving a bruising pain on your ass. His balls slapping against your skin, and his harsh breathing reminds you of a fish out of water, gasping.

You grit your teeth and decide the only thing you can do is hold on and hope he manages to get some sense into him. Hoping was a stupid idea, especially for someone like Leviathan.

“Fucking stupid otaku,” you groan. “This is how you fuck a lady? This is how you treat her? Like a blow up doll?! You’ll never amount to anything. Absolute trash.”

He seems to hear just fine when you’re degrading him, because with each harsh word, his thrusts get harder. He’s practically dragging you against his cock now, pushing and pulling you. His hands find purchase on your hips and he quiets down for a moment, head dipping low. You can feel his clammy fingers tightening their grip before stars burst behind your eyeballs.

“Fuck! God you’re such a slut! Yes!” You’re squeezing down on him, clenching on to the chair for dear life. You were so busy insulting him that your own orgasm literally blindsided you.

There was a distinct growl that came from Leviathan, and he muttered in a dangerous tone. “Came on that cock, huh?” An uneven laugh followed. You could barely form words, still riding out your high while he continued with his frenzied pace. It wasn’t long after before you felt him spilling himself inside you. You contorted at the sensation, but with practiced ease, stilled after, allowing him to finish.

As he slowed down, still riding out his high, he let go of you. He muttered a soft apology as he began to pull out, stepping away. Your legs dropped to the floor and you sighed, content. You could still feel that distinct ache in your fingers from tensing on the chair so fiercely. “Fuck, Levi…” you pant.

“I’m s-sorry…” he stammers. He reaches out to help you stand, and when you get a steady footing under you, you sigh. “Do you need any help?” he asks, picking up your robe off the floor.

“No,” you smile. “I just need another shower is all. Thanks, though.” You didn’t feel like keeping the façade up. You were exhausted after that brutal fucking. You needed a nap.

It’s not like you were always mean to him. It was just strict business, and he didn’t seem to mind it. You treated him nice everywhere else. You never quite understood why he was so into this degradation kink, since he was such a powerful demon. But everyone is into their own thing, you guess.

[ranboo5]

whats 'the clip' and knifetrick?

Augh. Under the cut for shipping discourse and p/dophilia ment (nothing graphic or specific). Gets long bc I discuss my thoughts on DSMP shipping in general. You are setting me up fr anon

Some quick vocab -

intimacy here is used to refer to. Well. Any kind of intimacy between characters, of any sort, as an umbrella term /r, /p, and /qp here are used as shorteners to denote "romantic," "platonic," and "queerplatonic," both as adjectives And as verbs ("to /r" = "to portray romantically") shipping here is used to refer to any focused examination of intimacy between characters

And some clarity that Should follow from the essay next but may not - """anti-antis"""" and RPF writers delete forever

The Clip is from one of if not the? most recent Discord stage(s) Mr Live has done (which I missed when it was live RIP) wherein he issues a hard ban on shipping him ("do not ship me, in any way, with anyone!") which would less influence c!beeduo (which has been portrayed/stated to be romantic AND nonromantic both conflictingly for a while until being confirmed unconfirmed several months ago, that being the last was heard) without its direct invocation if he hadn't also cited for the reason as being underage ("'Cause, one, it's straight up pedophilia") which is! a) immediately applicable to At Least his DSMP character, Partially and b) while not Strictly True (should b obvious that portraying a relationship within the bounds of what it is in canon and in a nonsexual way is not That, and /r-ing c!beeduo etc was possible to do Appropriately again by remaining w/in the bounds of canon) is Clearly Indicative of the fact that baggage-wise it IS associated with people being fucking creeps

This Really complicates things bc like okay the apparent solution is "lol just don't /r it" but it's really like. A Worse issue than that bc like.

Okay the reason shipping in terms of fictional characters is a Different Bar is bc it's an examination of Intimacy and certain lines exist in certain dynamics of intimacy that Isn't Shown (which is the whole Within The Bounds Of Canon thing) which is important in a medium like DSMP because of the smaller gap + more personal relationship b/w character and streamer. Examining intimacy beyond th bounds of the consent that has been established in that regard is Weird at best and Violating And Creepy more often and, As Mentioned In Ranb's Stage, Literally Evil at worst

Which is why writing abt like. QPR or platonically intimate Techno and Philza (characters) is smth that is fine because that's smth that has been shown and repeatedly stated onscreen; it's in the bounds of canon n thus within th bounds of what the streamers've consented 2 be done with their characters. But writing T3chza making out or whatever is fucked up because it's smth that's beyond those consent barriers

And the thing is right

Slapping a /p on T3chza makeout doesn't. Make it less violating

Like what you CALL romantic is not the measure or whether it's past those barriers yk? And if it's indistinguishable, if it's in extrapolative territory that is Past The Bounds, it Does Not Matter how much you /p it EVEN IF IT IS TECHNICALLY PLATONIC y feel? Like at the end of the day placing a moratorium on some/all forms of shipping is placing a moratorium on certain examinings of intimacy

And okay 2 go back to Mr Live and his character. What it implies taken in context w/ older portrayals of c!beeduo and said by invoking smth that both evokes Really fucked up baggage (that does unfortunately exist btw I'm sorry if you didn't know that but People Really Do B Fucked Up Abt Beeduo) AND applies to his character is a revocation of consent to examining deep intimacies:tm: with his character, which is gonna apply regardless of the nature of that intimacy (even if nonromantic)

Like I don't /r c!beeduo myself, do not, never have, but I talk to people who have and have consumed content where they r background /r; I also don't think it matters. Like I don't Actively /r it and I don't Actively Not /r it because imho w/ the intimacy regarding c!beeduo that is plot relevant and character important whether that intimacy is /p /qp or /r doesn't really matter. I don't consider myself Less of a c!beeduo shipper than someone who /rs them because that would be dumb as hell and while none of the content I've made* is Intrinsically or Intentionally /r it certainly can be read tht way as much as it can be read /qp or /p. It's be dumb and hypocritical of me to like, dunk on ppl for /r-ing c!beeduo when I'm also invested in these two and my tonetags r not gonna suddenly Delete the picking apart I've done of the dynamic @ hand

Which Has Been. Within Bounds Of Canon. It's been what's been shown (sometimes to my great distress. There is a reason that the :canon_beeduo: emote looks the way it does) Directly Onscreen and in general keeping with the tone n intensity/directions of what they've Done With The Characters

HOWEVER

As mentioned up there. Revocation of consent

It makes. Full sense 2 me that Mr Live wants to place a moratorium or fullon ban on shipping his characters perhaps where he wouldn't have before because of the Unfortunately Very Extant trends of people being Fucking Weird about shipping his characters AND of using them as a Thinly Veiled Excuse to ship HIM, which. I should not have to explain why shipping real people is fucking abhorrent

THIS creates a problem which is a. Bit of a vacuum in interacting with what is a facet of c!Ranboo's arc, decision making, and character. Like you CAN have c!Ranboo w/o cbeeduo but you Can't Really have his plotline without examining c!beeduo. And as I mentioned earlier: even if your examination of c!beeduo is fully platonic, the significance of it To the plotline means that any examination of it and its relevance to the plotline and characters IS gonna be an examination of intimacy, which. Regardless of it's platonic, Is Still Shipping

Unless some HARD retconning happens it leaves this like. Hole in an aspect of c!Ranboo's arc and decisionmaking and it's very. Uncertain? God. Fucking months ago I was already kind of :huh. Does he know what the fuck he's doing: irt c!beeduo and desperately wishing for things to be cleared up and now it's only That Much Stronger

NOW. KNIFETRICK, FINALLY

Knifetrick (or, as it’s actually listed, Bishop’s Knife Trick) is a fic about "Ran and Jackie from The Pit TFTSMP" in a "canon-typical ambiguously romantic relationship." As you can tell from the scare quotes, especially if you've seen me vague, both of these are, to put it politely, Doubtful. I've read the fic; I will not be sharing my opinions because that would be neither productive nor responsible (I will just say I can't recommend it and leave it at that) but I WILL say the following that Is relevant to the conversation:

Ran's and Jackie's characterizations respectively have very little to do with characterizations from The Pit, and bear a dollar-store-version resemblance to tropes and personality motifs found in ESPECIALLY fanon c!beeduo, especially later in the fic. I would not go so far as to say they are Intentionally Literally Ranboo and Tubbo but they are transparent expies and were clearly written at LEAST unintentionally w/ c!beeduo in mind (esp since. Ran and Jackie barely interacted in The Pit), and for a readerbase that, as far as I can tell, is HUGELY dominated by /r c!beeduo shippers. Like. Sorry. This is off-brand c!beeduo.

The dynamic between the two is pretty unambiguously romantic, also; despite what the fic's white knights claim, romantic tropes and implications/motifs/imagery from at LEAST chapter two, and is very much explicitly romantic by the most recent chapter.

FROM CH1:

"And now, with raised eyebrows and a pursed lip, the newly named General Jackie observes Ran in such a way that makes the enderman’s skin crawl. Ran reminds himself that this kid, as short and harmless as he may look, is trained to kill. [...] Jackie narrows his eyes and tilts his head a little, as if he’s trying to read in between every one of Ran’s imperfect scales."

FROM CH2:

"It makes Ran’s skin itch with discomfort. [...] 'That actually doesn’t explain much of anything at all,' complains Jackie, and he pops a few croutons into his mouth with one hand. 'Tell me what you’re thinking, pretty-boy.'

"Ran feels his face flush, no doubt mildly glowing green.

"Yes, that was the other thing. The unnecessary compliments to his physical appearance.

"They don’t happen very often, and don’t seem to have very much meaning or intention behind them— Jackie often speaks like an unthinking kid— but when they do happen… they’re embarrassing. [...] It’s annoying how the rug is pulled out from under his feet in these moments when he’s 'embarrassed'. Like the conversation see-saw has temporarily shifted weight in the general’s favor."

I am not going to include excerpts from Chapter 6 because it's just the entire chapter.

I WILL SAY, HOWEVER, STEPPING ON THIS SCORPION BEFORE IT STINGS: they are not written in an RPFy manner and I don't think there's any grounds, including Vibes, of accusing Knifetrick of being like. Closet truthing or whatever. Also, while I think there's certainly Some Weirdness ESPECIALLY around the reaction, the romance itself is Not written in any way I'd call weird or problematic pre-clip; it's nothing inappropriate or like Weirdly Fetishy or whatever. Knifetrick is not #problematic or anything and I don't have beef with like the concept of liking it intrinsically; if I thought it was like. Abhorrent I wouldn't be sharing excerpts lmao dhjfnhdsbvdnfjh. Hence: if anyone uses this post or anyth like it to send harassment or bad faith ANYTHING to anyone involved with Knifetrick I will hunt you down in the fucking night even if it WAS #problematic that'd be the LITERAL OPPOSITE of productive and as it stands it's Literally Not. Essentially: Knifetrick is a (questionably-written /mean) fic using Ran and Jackie from The Pit as a vessel for a large chunk of the dynamics and headcanons of fanon /r c!beeduo in particular

And again, I would not call it problematic in any way (aside from the disingenuity of the insistence that it's TOTALLY UNRELATED TO BEEDUO and TOOOTALLY WASN'T INTENDED TO BE ROMANTIC GUYS like own your shit please)... IF it weren't for the advent of The Clip, which is calling in2 question the Entirety of the problem of /r-ing any variant of c!beeduo or any of Ranboo's characters at all

I really do not have an answer for this tbh. I genuinely wanna hear from the streamer on this more specifically because I like,,, I got no clue where 2 go from here? Do I just consider an arc retconned? Was it an issue of speaking abt a troubling subject kneejerk wise and I'm reading too much in2 it?

I just. I dunno

Tl;dr (AT LONG LAST)

- The Clip is a clip of a Discord stage where Ranboo (streamer) loudly explicitly decried shipping in a way that implicitly applies to characters he plays - This would be all well and good but is rendered complicated by the plot relevance of c!beeduo, which does not stop being shipping if it's /p'd due to it still necessarily being an examination of a particular intimacy in a way that is in canon hard to distinguish the /p, /qp, or /r nature of - Bishop's Knife Trick is an AO3 fic centered around using TFTSMP characters as /r c!beeduo expies which is not a bad thing in and of itself unless it also is covered under this moratorium - Things remain unclear until and unless we get clearer word from streamer, but considering Mr Live seems to be allergic to clarifying anything abt c!beeduo this is doubtful

*very little if any of the content I personally have made 4 c!beeduo has been posted publicly, for related reasons. You May have seen it if you're in servers w/ me, depending on Which Ones

[ff-imagines]

tofu mother! i’m so happy you’re back! i can’t wait to see you talk/write about dumb tofu men some more! uhh, it seems requests are open! if you wouldn’t mind, uhhhh, sweet tofu nsfw alphabet, please? thank you!

Sweet tofu: nsfw alphabet

Holy shit, I haven’t done sweet, have I? I am such a bad horny tofu stan please forgive me 😢

A - aftercare

Very good. He’s always pretty overbearing doting and that trait will be cranked up to an 11. He gets you whatever you need, but desperately wants to stay with you for at least a few hours afterwards. He wants to know how you feel, and he loves to see the spectrum of your emotions, he’d never tell you he secretly wants to know you enjoyed it. Your approval hits a certain twinge in his chest.

B - body part

Of his own, probably his eyes, and his fingers. He takes great care in his nails, manicures are essential for him to feel clean.

Of yours, he loves your chest. Not exactly the tiddy tho lmao. A strange thing to like but he likes how comfy it is to rest his cheek on your chest and lightly trace your collar bones. He’s really comforted in hearing your heartbeat.

He likes your thighs for the same reason, they’re a good pillow. Thighs are also soft, which means easier hickies~

C - cum

There’s…. lots of it. He recovers fast, and will sometimes overwhelm you with cum. it’s kinda fucking endless honestly. Will cum legit anywhere you ask, sometimes will be bratty and cum anywhere but where you want. Loves to cum on you, it makes him feel more possessive.

D - dirty secret

This man has no secrets when it comes to sex. He’s up front, and he’s very open about being into almost everything you can think of. One thing he’d rather not let anyone but you know is that his hips, collar bones, and wrists are really sensitive. If you massage, kiss, or lick over them he loses his composure very quickly.

His favorite spot to be kissed is the vertebrae on the back of his neck, and he’ll be a tad more intimate if you lightly scratch the back of his neck and the hair on the base of his skull.

E - experience

moderate. He’s a creepy looking dude, but it’s fairly easy for him to find entertainment for when staying home gets a bit boring. We know from salty's backstory he’d flirted with a woman who came back to talk to him frequently, along with salty mentioning how he’s always been fairly popular.

“Hehehe, I know what I’m doing kitten. My question is, do you know what I’m going to do?”

F - favorite position

Seriously, what doesn’t he like..?

I think positions where he can see your face is his favorite, most likely loves to put you on his lap so he can watch you desperately grind on him while wrinkling your nose in the most adorable way~

G - goofy

To a degree. I feel he’s goofy in initiating but less goofy as time goes on. He still teases though and sometimes he manages to crack a smile out of you in even the most strangest and awkward positions. He'll never tell you but he loves that he can make you laugh, even when you’re in the most intimate and private state possible.

H- hair

Slightly groomed, but not extensively. Sometimes he has weeks where ofc he’ll shower but doesn’t really want to shave so you’ll have to remind him. Or don’t, if that’s your thing.

I- intimacy

Very but also not always.

He can be so fucking intense, refusing to let you look anywhere but at his face so you can see how hard it is for him to keep his control, watch him this time, let it be known how much he adores seeing your body scream and twitch for his touch.

On the other hand, he might rile you up just to leave you squirming for hours.

Depends on how nice he’s feeling~

“Fuck, no. Look at me. Look. At me. You did this, you fucking did this, look. At. Me. You’re gonna watch me while I fuck you, eyes. On. Me.”

J- jerk off

Not too often? He just prefers the real thing. 1-2 times a week. When you started to catch his interest, he stopped completely for a while, giving his full attention to you, even before confessing his interest in you. It’s more out of him trying to gauge who you are and if he’s actually interested or just entertained by you. When he figured out it was actual interest though? Prolly jumped up to 3-4 times a week due to feeling a growing desperation because of his feelings.

K- Kinks

...All of them.

Most of his favorites are the darker side of BDSM, light blood play (mostly prefers he’s the one bleeding), intense sadomasochism (doesn’t matter who’s who), primal, heavy bondage, breath play, and especially role play. He’s just… really obsessed with putting you in strange situations in order to learn all he can about how you tick.

“So so adorable, but I wonder how you look when you’re in pain~”

L- location

Again, either the place he knows your most comfortable, or the place he knows you’re the least comfortable. He wants to see you squirm as the brick of the alleyway he’s pinned you against rubs into your skin brutally just as much as he loves to see your hands grasp the soft blankets of your warm bed.

M- motivation

When you do something really innocent. The happier you look the more he wants to absolutely corrupt and ruin you.

“Look at you, you’re so precious all wrapped up in these blankets, would you mind if interupted, just for a little bit?”

N- no

I feel he also doesn’t actually like daddy kinks. He’s… got some issues with the man he viewed as his father so if you want to call him something, just don’t make it daddy.

O- oral

God does he love biting your inner thighs and watching you twitch.

He appreciates oral, but being able to make your skin crawl is much more pleasing to him. Might give you oral right after fucking you just to watch you squirm in overstimulation.

“Hehe, I see the bruise from last time is faded… I wonder if I can make a new one that will last just a bit longer~”

P- pace

Depends if he’s playing a bratty role or a more intense one. No matter his pace, he’s gonna stop in the middle and just watch you cry in frustration at his teasing. This man is patient so good luck lmao

Q- quickies

Not… exactly? He loves to tease, so he’d most likely get you incredibly worked up and then leave. Would definitely grope you at a dinner table then right as your getting close leave the room entirely lmao

As for actually quick fucking you, if you beg nicely, he’d most likely give you whatever you wanted no matter what lmao.

R- risk

Wouldn’t full out fuck you in public but.. again…. if he gets to see the embarrassment on your face while he finger fucks you under the table? Now that’s the good shit.

“Stay still, you’re squirming. You’re gonna give us away if you keep moving, you wouldn’t want that would you?”

S- stamina

Ridiculous. Mainly because he pulls some strings and uses his powers as a healer to recover his own energy. What a bastard.

T- toys

He owns a few. Most are restrictive, like handcuffs, rope, etc. might get a vibrator just to tie you down and make you cry and beg him to turn it off after overstimulating you for what feels like hours.

U- unfair

Y E A. Prolly the worst teaser you’ll ever encounter in your entire fucking life. He wants to see you cry from frustration and then hear your screams when he fucks you so hard it makes you cry all over again.

Then he stops, giggles, and goes back to teasing again.

“Kitty, come on, you can take just one more, cant you? For me?”

V- volume

Talks a lot. And it’s not that he’s “loud”, he just moans a lot. His voice is naturally pretty quiet though. Lots and lots of low groaning. During and after cumming he’s quieter, giving out a low hum while breathing slowly trying to regain his composure.

W- wild card

There is no mention that his hair is dyed, so I’m making the head canon that his natural hair is two tone and that his fuckin body hair is duel colored.

X- X Ray

Like I said, I will go down with the hc his body hair is duel colored like his hair. Mans got white and brown pubes I don’t make the rules.

As for size he’s actually on the smaller/average size, solid 5 inches.

Y- yearning

When you’re down, he is. If he hasn’t seen you in a long time he’s gonna be more grabby. He actually isn’t easy to make that jealous because he’s very confident in your loyalty, you’re willing to stick with him this long so… why worry?

Z- zzz

Lmaoooo? sleep?? Who’s that? Don’t know her. Thinks you’re adorable when you fall asleep though. Likes to study your face while sleeping and will gently coo and let your hair if he notices your face starts twitching because of something like a nightmare. Might peel back the blankets a bit to further… “observe”. And he wonders why you keep waking up freezing.

“Awe, out so quick kitty? Hm, you are cute like this. Wonder if you’ll look cuter when you’re having a nightmare…”

[peterthepark]

NSFW Alphabet

Billy Hargrove x Reader

Warnings: SMUT

A - Aftercare

billy thrives off of aftercare

he loves to just look at you and praise you

his touch never leaves your skin and he isn’t afraid to let you know how good you made him feel

you give billy tons of reassurance afterwards, letting him know that you never felt forced or hurt or uncomfortable

you always remind him that you love him

he needs to hear it a lot from you because he’s scared of losing you

B - Body Part

billy loves your eyes

he enjoys making eye contact with you

after you kiss, during sex, when you’re in his arms

he’s always looking at you

but he also loves your ass

although he’s in awe of everything about your body, he’s an ass man (no matter the shape or size, he loves it)

he likes how soft your ass feels in his hands, and how he can rest his head on it

he also likes to spank it but i mean

C - Cum

billy loves cumming inside you

ever since you started talking birth control, he felt much more comfortable cumming in you rather than on your stomach or face or back

it also excites him

just the thought of his cum inside you

he likes seeing it dribble down from your legs

and especially loves seeing you collect it onto your fingers then licking it

D - Dirty Secret

billy is such a dom

but there are days where he lets you take control

one time you did take control but you also managed to handcuff him to the headboard

and FUCK he liked it

he would never admit it but he liked it

so you’re riding him with tits in his face and he can’t touch you at all - it’s killing him

he ended up breaking through the handcuffs and the headboard

E - Experience

billy is pretty experienced

but being with you has allowed him to explore more of his kinks

anyways

billy knows exactly what he’s doing: where to touch you, how fast to go

F - Favorite Position

billy loves doggystyle

he’s just able to pull you back by your hair or whisper in your ear and he can really feel himself inside you

he gets to spank your ass and cover your back with hickeys

but then again billy also craves eye contact

so he’ll often do missionary as well, and fold you over so that you can feel everything that he’s giving you

G - Goofy

there isn’t that much goofiness or jokes whenever you and billy have sex

but he is VERY playful and teasing

there’s only laughing if one of you says something a little bizarre or knock something over

but teasing

lots of teasing

H - Hair

i think billy is very groomed

despite that big head of hair he’s got, he doesn’t have much down there

maybe just a happy trail :)

I - Intimacy

billy often blurts out that he loves you during sex

he’ll just be pounding into you and then suddenly BOOM i fucking love you

he likes to worship your body as much as possible, letting you know that you’re perfect

he loves hickies - just enjoys seeing them on his chest and on your breasts or your neck

even though he likes to fuck the shit out of you, he does make love to you

super romantic guy despite his rough exterior

J - Jack Off

when you’re not around, billy often has to resort to jacking off when he’s horny

he has this one nude picture of you

it’s a prized possession

and he cums everytime

like he’s trying so hard not to be loud

so he’s grunting and biting down on his fist with one hand while the other is around his dick

fuck me

K - Kink

billy has lots of kinks, they include but are not limited to:

DIRTY TALK

hair pulling and bondage

daddy and choking kink

praise kink for sure

he likes the adrenaline of almost being caught (i forgot what this kink was called oop)

he also likes biting, but to an extent

L - Location

billy will fuck you in the locker room of the pool after hours

just slamming you up against the locker

in the shower at the pool or sometimes at home or in his CAR

“you gonna be quiet for me, babygirl?”

but nothing beats the bedroom

the headboard has broken on many occasions but i mean

M - Motivation

PRAISE

billy loves when you tell him how good it feels

he’ll go much much faster and harder

he’s turned on by the little things

when you bite your lip, when you wear a dress that’s a little too short, or when you pull out some high heels for date night

billy is just easily captivated by anything that you do

N - Nope

billy won’t hit you

yeah, he will spank your ass but that’s totally different

he hates degrading you and your body

and even though he tends to be rough, he hates hearing you in pain

he will stop ANYTIME

O - Oral

he’s a giver

i really believe he is a giver

he could eat you out and finger you for days

“how does my mouth feel, Y/N? good?”

but also billy is needy sometimes

so he doesn’t mind getting a good blowjob from your end

P - Pace

we know billy is fast

his thrusts are so hard and quick and susjsks

he’s rough when you’ll let him

he wants you to cum

and he’ll do anything to get you there

Q - Quickie

lots of quickies

before billy’s shift at the pool, during, after

it happens a lot, especially when he’s angry or stressed and obviously horny

“fuck, you better cum, Y/N. cmon, angel. so close.”

but quickies don’t satisfy him as much as proper sex does

R - Risk

billy loves a good thrill

he’ll risk fucking you in public places, or in your upstairs bedroom while your parents are downstairs

he likes to experiment, as long as you’re comfortable with it as well

one time he did this thing with an ice cube

and shittt

S - Stamina

billy will keep going until you’re sore or you want him to stop

i mean it

this man is determined to make you orgasm more than once

T - Toys

billy doesn’t have any toys, but when he found out that YOU do

oh boy

he started using your vibrator on you and holy fuck he was being a tease

“since when were you keeping this from daddy? bet nothing feels as good my dick, right?”

U - Unfair

billy enjoys teasing you

he’s a sucker for your begging and your pleas

he just wants to hear you moan for him and squirm

V - Volume

when nobody is around, you and billy are LOUD

billy is grunting and moaning your name and fuck he’s so vocal about everything

“fuck, this is everything, Y/N. you’re gonna make me cum so hard.”

the bed is creaking and the headboard is probably going to break for the HUNDREDTH TIME

W - Wildcard

billy occasionally facefucks you

it’s one of the dirtiest and messiest things you guys have ever done

saliva is dripping from your mouth and your eyes are watery because he’s huge

and billy just loves the sounds that you’re making - gagging on his cock, moaning his name

then he’ll cum in your mouth

so hot

X - X-ray

billy obviously has a big dick

i mean cmon

he’s thick and long

he has pink undertones and there’s this little vein on the underside of his cock that you love to lick

it sends him over the edge a lot

big dick billy

Y - Yearning

billy has a moderate sex drive

like i said he’s turned on by the little things

so kinda anything remotely sexy that you do will make him horny

he can be such a needy guy sometimes but it’s okay

because he knows how to show you a good fucking time

Z - Zzz

billy surprisingly isn’t that sleepy after sex??

like this man literally just pounded into you at full speed and force yet he’s still awake

but anyways, once you’re freshened up and ready to sleep, he’ll just watch you

not in a creepy way

he just wants to admire the love of his life

your head will be in the crook of his neck and he can’t help but look down at you and study your features

just tracing your skin with his thumb

he loves you okay

[renaer-is-allegedly-hot]

session 12 notes

one day . one day i swear i will fix this formatting but today is not that day

Lol late is my brand

Let's go

The halflings can stack up under a trench coat

Adam has disguise self

Aerana and asyna don't need to do anything kinda

Now we're talking abt the road to el dorado

We just killed loser boy

Kenku got info from adam, cel and theo

What are we doing lmao

Adam is jiggling the small room's door and we go inside the room

Inside looks like an office, shelf w pickled body parts + cataloguing what the parts r and what they do

They were running away lmao ok

Yes we're still salty about this

"different interpretations of charm person" - jacob, 2020

Body part stuff

No halfling writing system in waterdeep

Dwarf toes, elven ears

Magic items ? Cel rolls perception 22

Weird jar w dull amber colored liquid, don't know if it's magical but noticed; unlabeled

"the jar of necrotic pee" - jacob, 2020

Smells like aloe

Adam smells his fire-resistant potion and it smells more like burnt ash

Smth else cel found has strange engravings

Just looks like metal bar

Boxy squarish iron bar abt the size of a halfling; it's strong but surprisingly light

Adam picks it up and hits a wall w it

Adam rolls for attack, 4

Nothing rlly happens

Makes a ringing sound

None of us can read giant

Looks rlly strange, written in blocky linear runes

A few things on it that stick out like engravings of ppl

Big bearded humanoids but small and fine so difficult to make out

Adam rolled 17 for investigation through files

Some stuff related to running wig shop; shop was at least somewhat a legitimate business

Notes abt billing for criminal organizations and guilds

Some ref to meeting w xant middlemen who would collect bodies

Names

Noska

Hired gorrick to track us down ??

N ?????

Adam looking for a key in the desk, doesn't find it

Head to the chest, adam tries to open

Not locked

A bunch of teeth

It's a mimic, adam has to roll damage

Adam is hit

Adam takes 10 damage

We're looking at diff things around the room and then hear a screech of pain as adam gets bitten

Slams down on adam's hand and four little eyes pop up and stare as it eats adam's hand

Mimic takes 9 damage as adam explodes

Cel shoots an arrow into the eye

22 to hit, 8 damage

Adam uses cutting words

-1d6

"hey fuck"

Adam could try to pull his hands away

Adam pulls his hands out

Adam bends down to it and takes a ration out of his backpack

"dom I'm gonna bend down to it"

The chest has closed back

Adam is going to throw rations instead, dex check

13; doesn't open so adam drops food on its head

Chest sits there looking at adam and eventually out of the side of the chest a weird stretchy amoeba-like arm comes out of it, takes the food and throws it in its mouth

"who's a good boy ? Who's a good boy !! Who's a good chest !!" adam, 2020

Adam takes out all his five rations and makes a trail leading out of the room

Chomper ? Maybe

It looks uninterested and its eyes have shut

Looks exactly like a chest now and hasn't moved; still has an arrow but just looks like a normal chest

It's a small chest that's pickuppable

Adam wants to walk his chest

Adam casts sleep on the chest

7d8s

27hp

When adam casts sleep the chest doesn't move, adam rolls perception 5

Adam tries to pick it up from behind v carefully from the bottom

It's kinda stuck to the floor and the wall; doesn't appear willing to budge

Asyna is still ape!asyna

Tries picking it up from behind like adam

Rolls a 6; won't move

One of its creepy tendrils sticks out and hits ape!asyna

10 bludgeoning damage; ape!asyna basically got slapped but now stuck to the chest

It's kind of loose now

Ape!asyna rolls a 20 and yanks it off the wall, now just dangling off asyna's arm and it's heavier than asyna thought it was

Feels dense

Adam is gonna try and tie its mouth shut

"he kinda starts flailing around a bit" dom, 2020

"aw he likes his new leash" jacob, 2020

Jacob gets hit again

Ape!asyna is gonna try and pull it off, 17 and gets off

Large clump of fur comes off and it's painful

adam "I'm going to try and use centrifugal force to swing it over my head"

"make a strength check" dom, 2020

Rolls 17

Slams it on desk, doesn't let go, nature check adam has no idea what it is

At some point the chest drops off, we stand back and adam casts shatter

11 damage

Chest kind of melts into the floor almost like it deflated, starts snaking way across room until it finds a hole and slithers up and disappears

"fuck you too chompi" adam 2020

Where it dissolves is 20 gold

"n I c e . That was worth the four spell slots" adam, 2020

Adam disguises self and turns into his dad

Adam is a tiefling

Dad is not a tiefling

Taller, dark black hair but not curly, short on the sides + floof forward

Looks more confident than adam

Same freckles

No one knew adam had freckles

Look p similar overall

Sounds the same as adam when he talks

He's a human

We don't know it's adam's dad

"a real dilf" dom, 2020, about adam's dad

"not like your REAL DAD, JACOB, JESUS" dom, 2020

Now we don't have time to unpack ALL OF THAT

Gonna find a hotel or smth

Except gotta disguise selves first

In the wig shop there is any wig u could possibly desire

Some mounted beards

Can't tell if any of the wigs r magical

I don't haAve magicccc :(

Adam puts a blonde wig on the ape

I thought asyna un-aped

Asyna un-apes and disguises self as asyna

Theo takes a long brunette wig w a braid down the back

Cel wants to pretend to be adam's child

Gets a curly dark hair wig

Hammer pants

Cel theo and adam all have freckles

It's nighttime springtime in waterdeep; it's raining

Trades ward going to find a hotel

Avoid own houses for awhile

Going to nearest inn

Let's go to the yawning portal

It is an inn not just a bar

Typ is in fact in the trades ward

One room as the father and two daughters and one room as lesbian elves

Durnan's downstairs and is friends w mirt

We head over to typ

This ward is busier than others we've seen at this time of night

Walk over to side entrance of typ

It never shuts down; always ppl here

Familiar warmth as we approach

Bard competition

Ppl placing bets, drinking, sitting in booths

The rooms r upstairs

Adam calls himself lysander

"a room for me and my daughters"

They get a room on the third story

Room on the third floor

We rendezvous in adam's room

We hear a scream echo out from the well

Adam has two plans

One includes his pants

The pants plan is we track down the dude w the pants

Second includes him singing, waiting to get mugged by the zants

Get mercenary help ?

Pants is plan c

Durnan is plan a

Cel is portia

Theo is lavinia

The doors lock

Long rest? Long rest maybe later

Adam and cel go up to one of the goliaths

"hey there big friend"

He looks like a well-read person

Takes out honey and asks him if he knows what it is

O it's honey

"well there r means of finding this out . For a price"

How much per item - FIVE GOLD

Adam hands him 10 gold and the big rod

"this is a jar of ointment that was first created by the wizard kyogton" I have no idea what that wizard's name is but that's what it sounded like

A dose can be swallowed or applied to the skin and in addition to healing and rejuvenating health, any poison or disease it may have is instantaneously cured

Can't tell how many doses in it

It's v expensive, v rare

Now the stick and he looks uber interested in it

"hm , where did you find this"

"my dad's attic ,,, he's a hoarder"

"let's make a deception check with a capital d"

Nat 1

Adam tells this guy the whole thing and the guy nods

"this is a valuable piece . Would you be interested in parting with it"

Cloud giants made them so their servants could help them build their castles

It's an immovable rod

Writing speaks of ancient cloud giants that were war-inclined

Flat button on the end of it

He sticks it out into the air and presses the button; when he takes his hand away, the rod doesn't fall and it stays floating in the air

Adam grabs onto it but he can't move it

Anybody can push the button tho

Adam asks what the goliath is offering

Offers us 5,000 gold

Adam gets his name - woetheir ????

Woetheir frequents typ when he's here

They're going on a quest; were asked by the open lord to complete a task on the isle of chault

Adam's gonna go to bed

Cel's gonna take a bath

We take long rest

Durnan time

Adam gives durnan a quick rundown of what happened

"ayo what's poppin durnan long time no see my guy"

It's morning it's 9ish breakfast time

Doesn't give any indication whether or not he recognizes them

Adam asks for scrambled eggs and bacon

Adam's asking if he knows anything abt the xants

Theo asks durnan if there's somewhere more secluded they can talk

Gestures to one of the booths and theo cel adam go over

They're uh . Telling durnan everything p much

He has look of passive disinterest but slightly less disinterest the more of the story they tell

"how is mirt?"

"he has renaer and floon"

"he's let himself go"

The xants r v powerful; leadership inscrutable even to open lord herself

Prior, durnan didn't care abt open lord

Guesses whoever obtains the stone would b hunted by the city which could b problematic

Half a million gold dragons

Could get help outside the city ? Roots go deep but do not extend outwards

Flee or contact city officials

"I think theo has a crush on him" adam, 2020

Stone is likely being taken or was already taken to guild hq

We could bust into hq but probs bad idea

Durnan says he's sure anyone could break into xants hq

Lmao durnan sounds so weighed down by life

Every now and then he looks over to well

Durnan is basically saying friendship is magic

The xants don't often come to typ and don't draw swords there

They fear it and durnan

"what's the hole?" adam rolls for insight, dirty 20

Odd expression comes across durnan's face

Mixture of disgust and longing

Uh … disgust and longing … for a hole? Ok durnan

We don't have to talk abt that I guess

Cel asks durnan to send a message to mirt to let him know we're safe but probs not gonna see him for awhile

Apparently the xants aren't too particular abt their henchmen

He says ask the barkeep abt it

Passive perception

At some point durnan leaves and right as theo says that we hear a loud thump and someone says "cripes"

Jones ?

Cel looks under the table and there's jones

Cel drags him out

Theo has a new idea "hey guys let's not go through with using adam as bait yet"

Adam looks down at the goblin and threatens to make him deaf

Plan d is to eat jones

We take jones upstairs

Theo explains her new plan

If the stone is already at their hq

We go to them

Jones doesn't mess w the xants

Why is jones rhyming

What r we talking abt lmao oops I was looking at primary results

I'M SCREAMING I DIDN'T KNOW GOODSPACEGUY WAS 81

No one has asked us for info abt the stone ?

Lmao is this like @me abt what's his name

Jb nevercaught ???? Jp nevercaught ?????? Idk who he is

What's our goal

We gotta figure out what we wanna do ig

We just wanna know where the xants r otherwise we duct tape his mouth and tie him up

"consider it stroked and very, very much needed" jones, 2020

To the dock ward in a wrecked whale oh the wrecked whale

"not the erect whale" cel, 2020 ????

There's a knock at the door

There's no peephole

Asyna asks "who is it"

HAHAHHAHAHA

MARGUERITE LMAO

"uh I work at the bar downstairs uh durnan had some - he wanted to speak to the drow"

I'm screwed

He has page hat on

"first durnan said we could stay as long as we'd like"

And he was offered money by this guy to speak to me

There's an elven man w v long and stringy hair, pointed nose and pointy ears

Looks rlly skinny and physically weak

Looking over scrolls

"guess who"

What the fuck

Nareel ??? naREEL????? WHO THE FUCK IS NAREEL???????

I don't kNOW WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING !!!!!!

The stone fascinates him

Offering us partial membership

Occasional encouragement to go on various missions

He has resources

Treasure and gold involved, but not for the weak-willed

Offering 500 gold for completion of a task

They have captured a high-ranking member of the xants and tried to get info of him

More resilient than they thought he would be

They need him back in three days

Is this a roast session ???? Of aerana ???? When she dips to hang out with the other guy ???????

They're trying to figure out who her friend is

Jones wanted to be a painter

Adam is offering to have jones join us to maybe kill him??????

If he wants gold he has to go get it

They'll keep

"I'm gonna fill your goody bag real good so you better keep your mouth shut" adam, 2020 to jones

Oh god I'm such an avoidant lmao

Oh god I don't

"these conversations will become more difficult as things become more difficult but I think for now that went as well as it could have possibly gone"

"you will find him in your basement"

wHICH BASEMENT

We're gonna go home

To the north ward we go

You go to the basement

The ropes look kinda weird

He's not tied with rope

They're metal bands looped around him

Metal bindings

Doesn't look like he's gonna get out of it

Adam and cel don't see anything out of the ordinary but have noticed things moved around a little bit

Dwarf w dark brown skin, white/gray beard, looks roughed up - not injured, just worse for wear

Adam has him make a wisdom saving throw

Adam charms him

Approaches him first

Adam starts massaging his shoulders

Jfdkaslfha then takes the gag off

"are you here to let me out?" the dwarf

"even better I'm here to spend some quality time with you" adam, 2020

Says he has to get back to the master

Master silgar must be fed

His sacred duty is to feed master silgar

Master silgar has a shimmering son what

"Shakes the oceans with a swish of his body"

In the beginning there was xanathar and then he said silgar should be the one they care for until the seas rise and destroy the city

Controls the eye of the xanathar as the eye of the xanathar control him

His name is ot stillgeer

Adam says his name is cain

Blasphemy for adam to propose bringing lord silgar to him

Lord silgar lives in a great temple

He's the high priest of silgar

We're telling him it's our summer home

Adam winks at everyone and we go upstairs

Adam casts second-level sleep on him

44hp puts him to sleep

Adam is gonna disguise-self a beard when the dwarf next wakes up

Stage it so it looks like he had been there for a month

Everyone changes their clothes

Tally marks on the wall

It's like late afternoon at this time

Adam tells him he woke up after 79 days, rolls for deception

Rolls a 24

Looks over and says "79 days"

"am I dead"

"no but the xanathar want you dead"

"I'm free"

23 for deception

Lord silgar is a fish? A fish ? A goldfish

Lord xanathar loves his goldfish more than anything

Ot has to replace the fish

19 mans is telling the truth

Not really any sign we're being watched when cel rolls for perception

We watch ot, take turns resting and surveilling our own house

Night comes

When asyna is on watch in the tower

Sees figures start making way across street to our house

6 humanoids start trying to break into the house

Glass shatters as one goes through a window

The tapestry was lord silgar

The goldfish has no connection to the koi fish asyna spoke to

Two objectives?

Find the stone

Or control the xanathar w a fish

The stone is a map to half a million gold

[hey-hamlet]

BNHA AU Ideas : Urban Fantasy AU

Also on AO3!

TL;DR:  Mythical creatures are real and they flock to Izuku like cats to a sunbeam. He and Bakugo have been the Heroes of various magical creatures for years, now its time for them to return the favour.

Aka the “Aizawa I swear I’m not part of the Yakuza these aren’t gang tattoos-“ AU

basically: mythical creatures are real

izuku is quirkless but he does have magic, which if he uses it carefully it can come across like a quirk

the problem is, its super variable + weaker than most quirks

bakugo is in the know, he and izuku are actually friends bc. izuku used to take him out to go talk to faries and fire spirits

basically, izuku was still pretty powerful, even without a quirk, because of the mythical creatures

he and izuku always planned to register his magic as a quirk if they could think of something, but everything was too limiting so he cant really be seen using it

shinso is part siren (like, 12% siren) and doesnt know it but izuku does and its driving him c r a z y

mic is like 50% siren and definitely knows and thats bugging izuku as well

all for one has like, 800 different curses on him and izuku is shocked the guy is still alive

ofa isnt just a quirk, its part magic which is almost unheard of, and izuku sees and is sh o o k

izuku ends up with ofa because the first ep just basically happens, sans bakugo being a dick

he gets the hang of ofa pretty quickly because hes been using magic his whole life

still cleans the beach because a selkie begged him to

stain is actually a vampire, got turned a little while ago but izuku isnt sure if stain is like, aware of it??? which is a little concerning

izuku is like, 100% human so no one is really sure why he can use magic, but everyone just rolls with it

inko was shocked when she found her infant son surrounded by faries but she put on her game face and read every book about magic ever

hounddog is just a straightup werewolf

nezu seems to be a magic user but izuku isnt sure, but nezu is super confusing anyway

izuku thinks aizawa was blessed by a medusa that thought his quirk was cool because, looking back to aizawa’s sports festivals, his hair didnt always float

izuku asks nezu what he is but nezu changes the answer every time

one of the reasons izuku wanted to be a hero is because of the number of magical creatures that found their way into the profession

he and bakugo go on little quests for magical creatures after school a bunch because A, if they owe you a favour its always really helpful and B, they can give you cool enchanted stuff

bakugo has a charm that stops him from being burnt that he is always wearing. its his favorite, shaped like a tiny dragon and carved from seaglass

izuku has like, 8 luck charms and shoes that make him silent when he walks, among other random crap. he has so many random magic trinkets on his at 1 time he could probably take down a whole gang.

basically izuku is the fae's errand boy and bakugo helps when he has free time because he likes the cool shit he gets

izuku has this lil lizard friend

he calls him a salamander because the little guy wont actually tell izuku what he is

and he saved him when he was little but he cant really remember how, and the “salamander” has been following him ever since

izuku sneaks him in campus cause its his lil lizard buddy! has a pocket in his hero costume and everything

izuku knew the guy was magic but doesnt find out how until the usj, which is, not coincidentally when he has to come clean about magic to aizawa

because

the lil lizard?

was a bigass kirin the whole time

and it literally rips the nomu in 2

and aizawa is like "so,, izuku,," and izuku is like "ooooohhhhh booyy"

but they dont get to talk about it much because the nomu knits itself together is a really creepy way

basically izuku uses every luckcharm, magic trick and maxs out one for all as far as he can push it

with aizawa and the kirin, they manage to take down the nomu before allmight gets there, but none them are in good shape and izuku is like, 2 secs away from being killed by shigiraki when allmight shows up, but w/o the nomu the league bales without trying to take down all might. shigiraki is p i s s e d

during the fight izuku straining the luck charms so badly that whenever he dodges a particularly bad hit, he can feel them shatter

aizawa and izuku have matching hand print scars because shigiraki had a hand on both of them when allmight lept through the door

they have a hard time getting izuku into the abulance bc the kirirn, bleeding and weak, is trying to bite anyone that gets close to his little human

bakugo holds it back while it cries. he’s crying too.

the kirin is called spark bc it sneezed and almost set bakugo's hair on fire

nezu gives izuku the excuse the spark is just a "lizard with a quirk, right?" and just winks and izuku is cONviNced nezu can use magic but he has no proof and its eating him up inside

because izuku is self-sacrificial like that, hes gets bakugo to find some of the healing potions he has collected and uses them on aizawa and spark, not on himself

he only uses one on himself bc spark lays on his legs and bakugo pries his mouth open

aizawa waking up the next morning in hospital like "wow why do i feel perfectly fine" and recovery girl walks in like "aa,,, holy crap???? why are you ok???"

izuku, 3 rooms away with a listening sigil drawn on the wall, has the most shit eating grin

he has to rub it off really quickly when recovery girl walks in. shes a little confused about the pen smear on the wall but izuku just kind of brings weirdness with him so she lets it slide.

so in this au aizawa doesnt have a weaker quirk after the usj

he has a scar but its hand shaped, not the lil crescent one

its on the same side of his face and just missed his eye. izuku’s in on his neck. they are both really lucky it didn’t hit anything important

when allmight burst in, izuku final luck charm shattered into dust.

also izuku has tracking charms on every one of his friends because one time he and bakugo got separated at the mall and izuku cried for 45 minutes straight

comes in real handy when iida goes to fight stain

izuku shows up even earlier in the fight, throws garlic power he bought at 7/11 in stains eyes

stain: h-

izuku, running in tears: sTAY AWAY FROM MY FRIEND

picks up native and iida and runs while yelling at iida about how he cares about him while also trying to find a hero because he really didnt think this through

izuku has loads of sigils tattooed and drawn on his skin and aizawa is shook bc this boy is so soft he is not part of the yakuza

hes co v e r ed in them, anywhere that isnt his forearms/neck/face. some of them are obviously hand done. he did a few when he was pretty little so they arent great

one of them is the kirin across his back and bakugo has to point it out to him because he didnt know it was there and its very glittery and magic looking, not done in normal ink and it must be pretty old too because he has loads of scars over it

and aizawa just wants to yell because how the fuck did no one notice this child covered in tattoos

[tipsyylove]

TEENAGERS; PART SEVEN

b r o w n i e s

you and taeyong go on another date, but, something happens.

warnings: language, underage drinking

NOTE: i don’t condone underage drinking, and neither should you. thank you.

a/n: sorry if it seems rushed, i did most of it in about three hours, so sorry. here it is.

your alarm was extra loud this morning. but, you noticed that you had gotten a text from taeyong, at 5:09 am this morning.

taeyong: hi hi, wanna go out again tonight? it doesn’t have to be all night, being that it’s tuesday, i can take you back home in time :))

you: yeah, definitely. pick me up at about 6-ish?

taeyong: perfect, we can go out to eat tonight too, maybe go back to my place?

you: yeah! see you at school.

“already on your phone, huh, miss (y/n). what a shame.” johnny says, shaking his head.

“shut up, suh. i have plans again tonight. can you guys hold up by yourselves until like 9 or later maybe?”

“sure, being that there’s still gonna be three adults around. but, you’re their favorite, so it might be hard.” he said, shrugging.

“shut up. they’ll be fine.” you said, getting up to get ready.

as you were walking out, yuta stopped you, letting johnny and jaehyun go outside.

“so, you’re going out with taeyong again tonight?” he asked.

“yeah, he said he was gonna take me to dinner.” you said, getting excited.

“oh, sounds fun, don’t have too much fun, okay?” he cocked his eyebrow at you.

“yes, sir.” you said, saluting him as a joke.

he laughs, “let’s get going, they’ve been waiting long enough.” he spoke, leading you out.

as per usual, when arriving at school, you saw taeyong, this time with firey red hair. it looked fucking godly on him, and you never wanted him to change it. damn it. this man truly was the love of your life. but, that’s a dumb thought. you’re in high school. it’s not like you’re gonna go get married after high school, but, boy, did you want to. especially to lee taeyong.

“hi, (y/n)! you excited for tonight?” taeyong nearly yelled at you.

“why wouldn’t i be excited? who do you think i am?” you sassily replied.

“why do i even bother asking? anyways, how are you?” he asks.

“i’m doing amazing. how are you?”

“i’m doing well. i’m so excited for tonight.” he smirks at you.

“i’m glad. why don’t we walk to class together?” you ask.

“ladies first.” he gestures in front of him. you led the way inside, to your trigonometry class.

fuck trigonometry. triangles can suck your ass for all you care. the only thing that you enjoyed about this class was getting to know taeyong more. today was a half day, so you only had three classes and lunch for the day, and then you could go home. it would give you time to hang out with the youngins more, being that you never really do. you could do some things with them that they might enjoy, and could still go out with taeyong later.

“wait, what’s the formula again?” taeyong asked.

“you’re joking, right?” you cocked your eyebrow at him.

“no, i’m not.”

you wanted to laugh, but you didn’t want to be mean.

“a squared + b squared = c squared. so what you’re gonna do is take the a side and b side and square them and-”

“i’m kidding. i know how to do it. i’ve been in this class for a semester. i just like seeing you talk smartly about things. i love when you do it.” he professed.

this caused you to blush. you just got complimented by your crush. what the fuck.

“wow, didn’t know it would have that much affect you that much.” he said, staring at your cheeks.

you quickly covered your face, not wanting to be seen by him anymore. he had way too much effect on you for comfort.

“don’t cover up that beautiful face of yours, princess” taeyong said, taking your hands off of your face. fuck. in public, taeyong? really?

but, you had forgotten that yuta was also in that class. along with jaehyun. they were seat partners in the class that sat right behind you. they had probably heard the entire conversation. you didn’t want to face them, but they were in your other two classes for the day and at next to you in both. fuck.

the bell rang, and you were so nervous to face the other two, so you walked with taeyong to your next class.

you saw johnny, yuta, and jaehyun all sitting at your table already. it was kinda nice to have them in your math class. they were always super helpful in that class. but, today, you were not having it.

“so, miss (y/n), he is even calling you ‘princess’ in public? fucking weirdo. why do you like him again?” jaehyun asks you.

“shut up. it’s a joke. he doesn’t mean it. don’t call him that.” you said, rolling your eyes.

“jaehyun. don’t.” yuta says.

“thank you, bud.” you said, sitting down.

the bell rang shortly after.

when you walked out of your classroom, you saw taeyong standing there. you walked up to him instead of walking with the other boys to your next class.

“wanna ditch?” he whispers to you.

“hold on- what? like, actually?” you question him.

“yeah, totally. then we can just leave to lunch and go home. you down?”

this was weird coming from him. he has really good grades in his classes, so why in the world would he wanna ditch? but, you agreed anyways.

“sweet, let’s go, quick.” he said, grabbing your hand and leading you to the front doors.

you guys had ended up walking to a local park, since it was such a nice day. there was no one there, which was nice. the other boys were blowing up your phone, but you didn’t really care at the moment.

“hey, is it cool if one of my friends joins us? he isn’t too much to handle, i promise.” he spoke.

“yeah, definitely. what’s his name?” you asked.

“his name is mark. everyone thinks that we’re brothers, since we have the same last name, but we’re not. sound familiar?”

“oh, then, yeah, definitely. he seems cool.” you said, looking at the clouds.

“great, there he is now.” he pointed in front of you guys and waved at ‘mark’.

when he got closer, you could see how alluring he was. he had golden blonde hair, which obviously wasn’t his natural color, but it looked good on him. he had golden skin, and a shy voice.

“this is the famous (y/n)? the one you’re always talking ab-” mark got cut off by taeyong.

“mark, (y/n), (y/n), mark.” taeyong introduced you two.

“nice to meet you, mark.” you said, smiling at him.

“you too.” he smiled back, shyly.

this was gonna be fun.

you three ended up going to mcdonald’s for lunch, and then split after. you got mark’s number in advance, though, so you could talk later. you had to make it back to school, so that you could get a ride home, and have more time to get ready for later. you nearly ran when you saw yuta’s car parked in the parking lot still. relief was all you felt. but, again, facing them would be hard.

“hello, miss (y/n), how was ditching class?” jaehyun smugly asked you.

“it was great. i made a new friend. can we go home now?” you asked, looking directly at yuta.

“yep, the youngins are getting impatient.” yuta said, checking his phone.

“let’s get going then, folks!” johnny said.

you had let johnny, jaehyun, and yuta go out for a bit until you left, so you could hang out with the youngins by yourself. you enjoy hanging out with them, but you never really have time to do so, being that you always have to study.

“let’s watch a movie, and then i have to get ready. then, the other three should be back. sound good?” you asked all six of them. they all nodded, and you put on the classic “train to busan”.

the movie went by so fast, and it was now 5:55. the other three had come back, and you got ready for your date. you didn’t overthink anything this time, though. you just threw on a dress and put your hair up. you two were now practically comfortable with each other, so what did it matter? you heard a ring of the doorbell, and rushed downstairs.

“ready?” taeyong says, after you answer the door.

“duh. bye everyone!” you waved at everyone, them waving back.

in the car, you had found out that taeyong had made fake i.d’s for the both of you. it made it so that you were both to appear 21. sure, it was illegal, but to get into the club he wanted to go into, you needed to be 21. this is the best bar in town. so, of course he was gonna take you.

“alright, y’all are good, head on in.” the bouncer said.

“yes!!” you guys celebrated in unison when walking in.

you guys sat down at the bar, and ordered some shots. you guys didn’t want to get completely wasted, being that it is your first time drinking. so, you only bought about three shots each. there was a hockey game on, which you didn’t really care about, but it kept you occupied.

“did i mention how good you look? red suits you.” taeyong eyed you, biting his lip.

“thank you, mr. button up and dress pants.” you punched his arm.

“don’t be creepy, biting your lip n’ shit.” you said to him.

“sorry, i can’t help it when you look this good.” he blushed.

“that’s STILL creepy.” you punched his arm, yet again.

“it’s my drunk talking.”

“you had one and a half shots.” you rolled your eyes at him.

“whatever, let’s go back to my place, it’s already 7.” he said, checking his phone clock.

“whatever you say, sir.” you said, saluting him.

his house was so small, but, it was so nice. it had the most beautiful wooden floors, white walls, and smooth ceilings. he was the only one living there, you assumed, being that it was so small. his couch and tv were so big, though. everything about his house was so nice.

“i made brownies. would you like one?” taeyong asked, holding a brownie out to you.

“yeah, sure? why not?” you said, taking one from his hand.

you quickly took a bite out of it, and noticed how delicious it was. it had chocolate chips in it, and was super gooey. perfect. 

your shoes were already off, and you were so comfortable at his house, you felt like you  could fall asleep right there.

“do you want me to text them for you, saying you aren’t gonna make it home?” taeyong whispered to you, noticing you were almost asleep.

“please do. thank you so much.” you said.

“no problem.” he said, grabbing your phone and unlocking it with your fingerprint. genius.

“it’s done. sleep well, princess.” he said, kissing your forehead.

that’s when you blacked out completely.

part one | part two | part three | part four | part five | part six | part seven |

[ifyoucouldholdme]

Movie Nights with Trashmouth

Chapter 2

Words: 983

Pairing: Bill/Richie (Bichie)

Chapter 1

Read on AO3

“You sure you’re not overthinking this, Bill?”

Bill poked his freckled face out from his closet, the worry he failed to suppress evident on his brow. “I d-don’t know the dress c-code for a first d-d-date, Eddie. I’ve got to make sure I don’t look b-bad.”

Eddie rolled his eyes from his spot at the foot of Bill’s bed. “This is Richie we’re talking about. You know, the guy who wore shorts and flip-flops to homecoming. You could show up wearing a trash bag, and he probably wouldn’t care.” He idly flipped through a well-weathered issue from Bill’s expansive comic collection, as the other boy changed into yet another flannel shirt. The majority of Bill’s clothes lay strewn about his floor, various shirts and jackets thrown off in a flurry of self-conscious second-guessing.

“Is this even a real date? You know how gay his jokes can be. And you’re not exactly out to anyone but me,” Eddie continued, feeling more than a little proud of this fact. “What exactly did he say?”

“He s-said to pick out a m-movie for d-d-date n-night.”

Eddie narrowed his eyes in thought, trying to interpret any possible subtext. “That may have just meant hanging out. ‘Date Night’ isn’t necessarily romantic. I mean, it’s kinda like having a girl’s night but with just you and Richie.”

Bill paused halfway through trying on a suffocating wool sweater he only grabbed as a last resort. “S-so you’re saying R-Richie doesn’t w-want to g-go out with m-m-m-me?” he mumbled dejectedly through the itching fabric.

“Maybe he does. I just don’t want you to get hurt in case he said it as a joke.” Eddie regretted voicing his apprehension upon seeing the nervous excitement drain from Bill’s eyes. “But I could be wrong,” he hastily backpaddled, “Who knows, the idiot might be madly in love with you.”

“M-m-maybe…” Bill sighed. He struggled out of the horrendous sweater and folded it neatly. The stupid thing was uncomfortable anyway. The younger boy felt his stomach clench as he watched his sullen best friend begin to clean the mountain of rejected outfits he had amassed. Determined to bring back the smitten boy he had spent the day talking back down to Earth, he shuffled off the bed and pushed past Bill deep into the closet.

“E-Eddie, what are y-you—”

“Put these on.” Eddie thrust a nice pair of maroon shorts into Bill’s fumbling hands. “Richie’s always going on about guys in shorts, so these should do the trick. You should pair it with something casual but not too careless. How about this?” He rifled through the row of hangars, settling on a soft teal polo. “If I know Richie, just show off your legs and maybe undo the top button of your shirt and that should be enough to titillate him. But don’t show too much skin. You don’t want to deal with any awkward boners or anything.”

“G-God, not this t-time,” Bill muttered under his breath.

“This time?!” Eddie blared. Bill looked up to find Eddie who was usually a little timid and twitchy, but now his eyes looked the size of startled tea saucers. “What do you mean ‘this time’?”

Bill tried to avoid the consequences of his treacherous tongue and continued cleaning his mess, feigning ignorance. “W-what are you talking about, E-Eddie? I d-d-didn’t—”

“You’re really bad at lying, Bill.” Eddie’s gaze tore straight through Bill’s deflection. “You said ‘not this time,’ which means that there already has been an awkward boner. What’d he do, get turned on in the locker room and trick you into looking at it?”

“No, Eddie p-please—”

“Or, no, I bet he started talking about his disgusting ‘nudie mags,’” he punctuated this with highly exaggerated air quotes, “and got too excited, the friggin’ perv.”

“It wasn’t—”

“Honestly, it’s not anything above average. I don’t know why he keeps going on about it. Stan dared him to streak across the gym last year, and—”

“Richie didn’t get a b-boner, I did!” Bill exploded then immediately turned away, angry with himself for letting the secret out. He expected the usual cacophony of choked sputters that accompanies Eddie learning new and surprising information, followed by the barrage of, “What the fuck? Oh my god, what happened? You know, at our age, our hormones are racing so hard that anything can cause an erection: porn, tight pants, a breeze. It wouldn’t necessarily mean anything. I heard about this guy in Florida who went to the ER because he had a full blown hardon for like six hours, and they eventually had to drain the blood out of it with a needle!” and a thousand other comments. Instead, Eddie just plopped his ass back on the foot of bills back with a soft, “Oh.”

This reaction terrified Bill. What if Eddie thought he was a creep now? What if he actually was a perverted mess? “T-that b-b-bad, huh?” he cringed. Life immediately sprung back to Eddie’s expression. “No, not at all!” he threw his hands up in a reassuring gesture, “It’s just that, well, I guess I just haven’t really ever thought of you as a sexual person. I mean, I know you like boys and you want a relationship, but I’ve never really though about…your dick or anything.”

Bill gawked at him. “Uh, t-thanks?” They sat in the uncomfortable silence in excruciating bewilderment. He ran his fingers over the flannel in his hands while Eddie’s knees rapidly bounced.

“So…” the tiny boy whispered, “was…was it because of Richie?”

“Y-yeah…” Silence fell again. Curiosity bubbled up into Bill’s throat. He wanted to know, but then again, would he sound super creepy? “S-so, um….w-w-what….you saw R-Richie’s d-d-d-d—”

“Oh my god, Bill!” Eddie cackled as he launched a pillow across the room at his blushing friend. “Just get dressed. You don’t want to keep your precious Trashmouth waiting!”

[alienshea]

And now, for no absolute reason, I will give every Gorillaz song from the main 6 studio albums my rating from 1-10

Self-Titled

Re-Hash: 7.5/10

Bopping tune, 2D doing his own backup vocals make me swoon, Noodle is great as always, no one really knows what the lyrics are but they’re valid

5/4: 6/10

Better than average,not the best song i’ve ever heard but still pretty good, kinda uncomfy with Noodle screaming about someone turning her dad on, drumbeat makes me wanna dance, wished they couldve made the music video

Tomorrow Comes Today: 7/10

The kind of song that gets stuck in your head all day, love the overall sad tone, music video makes me laugh now bc that one murdoc gif, makes me cry when i have depressive episodes

New Genius (Brother): 7.5/10

Love 2D’s voice in it, lyrics hit home a little bit for me, have never skipped this song tbh, overall pretty good song

Clint Eastwood: 8.5/10

I literally know all the words, I love the rap, iconic, there’s a reason it’s popular, Del is everything

Man Research (Clapper): 3/10

oooo boy i’m gonna get shit for this one, i always skip this song, i can’t stand the whole “yeah yeah” thing, the only great part about this song is the “tHiS Is a bReAkFaSt ClUuUuuUB!”

Punk: 6.5/10

gets me turnt, toooooo short, tbh i like any song where 2D yells

Sound Check (Gravity): 9/10

looooove this song, gives me body chills when the drums kick in, love the deep ass voice, overall emo kid bop

Double Bass: 8/10

nice jam, I like listening to this when I do homework or art, relaxing

Rock The House: 8/10

legit makes me get up and dance, great rhythm, music video is beautiful

19/2000: 9/10

amazing bop, gets me pumped, iconic af, first gorillaz song i ever heard and first music video i ever saw, n o o d l e

Latin Simone: 7/10

I don’t speak spanish so i cant really sing along, love the feel of it, will listen on repeat, prefer the english version but im biased

Starshine: 6.5/10

idk I don’t really listen to this one, not a bad song i just wouldn’t play it on repeat or actively look for it, i do like the vocals

Slow Country: 8.5/10

love the feeling this song gives me, kinda like im just floating, super chill song to get high to, have never skipped this song, i like the lyrics

M1A1: 8/10

super fun song to sing along with, honestly the best song they couldve ever chosen to start a concert, he   s c r e a m

OVERALL SCORE FOR SELF-TITLED: 7.5 (rounded up)

Demon Days

Last Living Souls: 9/10

absolute favourite song on the album, breakdown gives me chills, constantly changing it’s tune and i love it, the basssss <3

Kids With Guns: 6/10

I love singing the chorus, great song to have in the background, chill af

O Green World: 7.5/10

i love the instrumental of this one, vocals give me chills, kinda wish you could hear the singing more tho

Dirty Harry: 6.5/10

bopping beat, i love the rap part, overall not really the type of song i’d play on repeat but not bad

Feel Good Inc: 8/10

first and foremost the fucking bass of this song is the reason i’m learning bass, chorus gives me chills, kinda overused but i understand

El Manana: 6/10

kind of a meh song for me personally, not a bad one just not the greatest

Every Planet We Reach Is Dead: 9/10

banger, the reason im also learning guitar, vocals are on point, has made me cry before

November Has Come: 7/10

love the chorus, rap is kinda meh for me, i like the beat

All Alone: 5/10

not really a song i listen to, i like the bloopy noises

White Light: 4/10

I always skip this one tbh, better than man research but not by much

DARE: 6.5/10

this song haunts my dreams, its like the best kind of elevator music, on another note you fucking go noodle

Fire Coming Out Of The Monkey’s Head: 7.5/10

I WANNA BE A COWBOY BABY, narrative is really fucking good tho

Don’t Get Lost In Heaven: 8/10

beautiful, usually dont like gospel-esque music but i love this, gives me chills

Demon Days: 6.5/10

not my favourite tbh, meh for me

OVERALL SCORE FOR DEMON DAYS: 6.5 (rounded up)

Plastic Beach

Welcome to the World of the Plastic Beach: 7.5/10

i love snoop dogg, also this song gives me good vibes

White Flag: 5/10

ehhhh not a fan of this one, i usually skip it, i like the orchestra tho

Rhinestones Eyes: 8.5/10

i fucking love this song, great tune great vocals, i never skip it, i even got my boyfriend to start loving this song even tho he doesnt really like gorillaz

Stylo: 9/10

jesus this song, makes my heart hurt, i absoultely long singing along to this, his voiceeeee, bobby womack!

Superfast Jellyfish: 8.5/10

quirky af, i love de la soul in this one a lot, have never skipped this

Empire Ants: 9/10

so beautiful, has made me cry, both of their voices are so soft and lovely ugh

Glitter Freeze: 6/10

starts off strong but when it starts sounding like a drill i usually yeet out

Some Kind Of Nature: 8/10

used to be my favourite until i started listening to the album more, 2d’s part is so soulful omg

On Melancholy Hill: 8.5/10

so sad and amazing, music video is probably my favourite, is me and my best mate’s “song”

Broken: 9/10

ugh beautiful, i know all the words and always sing them loud af, has never skipped this song, honestly is everything

Sweepstakes: 5.5/10

not a big fan, i usually skip this one, not a horrible song just not for me

Plastic Beach: 7.5/10

love it, better at the beginning than the end, still a bop

To Binge: 10/10

WHEEEW BOY, i love this song, its so sad and amazing and gay jesus christ, the best thing murdoc has ever done

Cloud of Unknowing: 7/10

soulful and beautiful, again bobby womack!!

Pirate Jet: 7/10

i love the tune bc it gets me feeling ~spooky~, lyrics dont really make sense but thats okay

OVERALL SCORE FOR PLASTIC BEACH: 7.5 (rounded up)

The Fall

Phoner to Arizona: 8/10

gets me bopping and grooving, great music to play in the background while writing or doing art, my go to for when i draw or need background sound while I relax

Revolving Doors: 9.5/10

OOF, it so sad and it makes me feel things, i scream the lyrics errytime

Hillbilly Man: 10/10

fell in love with this the second I heard it, has been my favourite song of all time for over 2 years now, will never skip it in my life, i yearn to learn the guitar 

 Detroit: 6.5/10

generally a good happy bop, usually play it as background sound

Shy-Town: 6/10

nice to the ear, i don’t really like the prerecorded vocals of 2D but when Damon sung it live it sounds much better

Little Pink Plastic Bags: 8/10

i love it ugh, relaxing af, will never skip

The Joplin Spider: 9/10

big love for this song, its just soooo goooood

The Parish Of Space Dust: 7.5/10

big cowboy energy, sounds so sweet, 2D’s voice is unnnf

The Snake In Dallas: 7/10

good for when you wanna party but you’re depressed and can only stay in bed, love the little robotic sounds

Amarillo: 9.5/10

i meeeean what can i say, this song is so sad and gay and beautiful, ive cried while listening it this, will never skip

The Speak It Mountains: 7.5/10

this track is really weird and creepy and kind of not a song but i adore it anyway

 Aspen Forest: 8/10

beautiful sounds, the piano is so soothing, will play this on repeat while i zone out

Bobby In Phoenix: 9/10

i wanna cry every single time i hear this bobby come back

California and the Slipping of the Sun: 7.5/10

this song so so pretty and i cry every time ugh, he sounds so fed up im sorry pretty boy

Seattle Yodel: ???

what

OVERALL SCORE FOR THE FALL: 8 (rounded down)

Humanz

Ascension: 8.5/10

absolute banger, i get pumped everytime this comes on, skys falling bb

Strobelite: 7.5/10

i used to hate this song but then the music video came out and i tried it again and now i love it dont @ me

Saturnz Barz: 9/10

theres so much i could say about this song ans the mv unf

Momentz: 9/10

banger, i dance like a maniac every time i hear it, will never skip

Submission: 8/10

gives me a good chance to work on high notes, makes my skin tingly

Charger: 8.5/10

2D’s voice is so griity and i can help myself

Andromeda: 8.5/10

I’ve never skipped this song, has made me cry, makes me dance

Busted And Blue: 9/10

has made me cry several times, vocals are everything, will never skip

Carnival: 7/10

is a bop, don’t really listen to it much anymore but it’s alright

Let Me Out: 8/10

i love it, one of my favourites to rap with

Sex Murder Party: 4/10

ehhh dont like this one, i always skip it

She’s My Collar: 8.5/10

i dont want to admit the things 2D’s voice in this makes me wanna do

Hallelujah Money: 7.5/10

hated this at first, grew to love, very soothing

We Got The Power: 9.5/10

gets me FUCKING PUMPED, we do got the power fuckers

OVERALL SCORE FOR HUMANZ: 8.5 (rounded down)

The Now Now

Humility: 8.5/10

summer bop, makes me wanna dance, have never skipped

Tranz: 9.5/10

i love singing along to this bc it makes me feel sexy oops, always screams the lyrics

Hollywood: 7/10

not a huge fan of this but ill listen to it, favourite part is the chorus, also snoop doggy dogg

Kansas: 9/10

oof this song makes me cry, i always scream this 

Sorcererz: 7.5/10

ooo them vocals thooo, makes me relaxed

Idaho: 8.5/10

i love this song sm, one of my favourites of all time to sing, i wanna learn the guitar for this

Lake Zurich: 8/10

I love to listen to this while relaxing or writing, makes me wanna dance, COWBELL

Magic City: 8.5

always dancing to this, billboards on the moooon

Fireflies: 10/10

yall saw this coming, i always cry, its so somber, in close competition w HillBilly Man for my all time favourite

One Percent: 6.5/10

only song on the album i would skip and it isnt even that bad

Souk Eye: 10/10

its so gay and sad i love it sm

OVERALL SCORE FOR THE NOW NOW: 8.5 (rounded up)

So after months of me saying i’d rate the songs in order I finally did! Now keep in my the overall scores are averages, my personal rating for each album is:

Self-Titled: 8/10

Demon Days: 7/10

Plastic Beach: 8.5/10

The Fall: 8/10

Humanz: 7.5/10

The Now Now: 9/10

thanks for reading, i did this so i wouldn’t have to write an essay oops! <3

[proxylynn]

UNDERFELL: FILE NAME NOT EDGY ENOUGH part #2

Chapter 2: Flowey

WARNING: I WANT NO RESPONSIBILITY OVER SPOILING THINGS FOR OTHERS. THAT BEING SAID, THIS HOW FILE NAME NOT FOUND WOULD FUNCTION IN THE AU OF UNDERFELL. BEFORE YOU READ THIS, UNLIKE THE NICE TIME OF UNDERTALE, THIS WORLD IS KILL OR BE KILLED. THIS STORY WILL BE GRAPHIC, GORY, USE SWEARS LIKE NOBODY'S BUSINESS, AND DEAL WITH SENSITIVE SUBJECT MATTERS. FOR EXAMPLE, THOSE OF YOU WHO HAVE READ THE FILE NAME RELOCATED SPOOF WILL KNOW HOW I PICTURE THIS VERSION OF LYNSIE COMING TO THE UNDERGROUND. IT IS NOT AN ACCIDENT. IT IS NOT BECAUSE OF SOMETHING DUMB. IT IS BECAUSE SHE CHOOSES TO END HER LIFE. AGAIN, THIS IS A BETA AND THIS OPENING CHAPTER IS LIABLE TO CHANGE TO BETTER FIT THE STORY AND MY NEWEST WRITING ABILITIES. SO TAKE THIS DEMO WITH A GRAIN OF SALT. I MADE IT BECAUSE I NEEDED TO LET SOME OF THIS EDGINESS OUT OF MYSELF. WHICH I GUESS MAKES UNDERFELL LYNSIE EVEN MORE TRUE TO WHO I REALLY AM. ANYWAY, ENJOY. ^_^

Darkness...everything is so dark, I can't see anything, I can't hear anything, I can't feel anything...there is nothing, nothing but darkness...dark, darker, yet darker...the darkness keeps growing, the shadows cutting deeper...wow...dying is very bleak...why does everyone think something incredible is supposed to happen...all there is, is the empty nothingness of the void and the deafening silence of nonexistence...

"🕈✌😐 🕆🏱 🕆💣✌ ✏" (WAKE UP HUMAN!)

"*gasp*!"

My eyes shoot open painfully, I feel as if I had just come back to life. My lungs feel empty and crave oxygen greedily, and my entire body aches...especially my left arm. Great. Just fucking great. Fuck you fate! Fuck you death! You could've at least do me a solid and finish the job or not damage me at all!

I lay where I am for awhile, letting my body adjust to what had happened and waiting for the pain to numb. I seem to have landed awkwardly. My lower body feels like its aimed to the ground while my top-half is clearly looking up at the hole I just fell into. Something's broken, I just know it.

"Well, this sucks. *groan* Fuck you, universe! Once again, you fail to get rid of me! *long sigh* Even when I give you control, you won't let me die. *pause* I wonder...Do they even notice I'm gone? Better question...Will they care? God! Was it too fucking hard just to be told 'I love you' before heading out that damn door?! Would it really be so bad to feel like I matter all?! *sadness* Is it really so wrong to know someone cares?"

I can feel the urge to cry coming but bite my tongue. I don't have time to pity myself.

"Okay...What's the damage?"

After about 20 minutes of laying like a lump, I force my body to move and straighten while sitting up. My joints pop multiple times and I see why my arm is now so messed up. It would appear my earlier prediction was true, I landed on a fallen crystal shard that had the luck to be jabbed into my shoulder.

"Whelp...This is gonna sting like the dickens."

I take a cautious grasp of the crystal that's protruding in the front and take a few deep breathes before holding it. That's when I grit my teeth and yank it out hard as the crystal is tossed across the room.

"*wincing* Yep...That hurts...Oooh, that hurts...How bad is...Huh...Not bleeding as bad as it feels...I call that a win."

I try to put some weight on it and it folds like an origami swan. I try moving my fingers but they don't respond. Damn it. The whole thing is dislocated. I know I'm a sucker for pain, but even I need help fixing this thing. Looking back up, I can see the mouth of the hole I fell from. That has to be a good 50-60 feet from the top to the bottom, definitely no way to climb out even if I had both arms. Nope. I'm stuck down here. My eyes wander around my landing place, I've landed on a small bed of yellow flowers that are now stained red with my blood, there are about 4 large marble pillars that I can barely see, stalactites coat the walls, and of course the dead vines that somehow creep their way out of this pit. Suddenly something shiny gets my attention.

"Heh...Glad to see someone made it here in one piece."

My iPod managed to bounce its way over to what looks like the only exit I can see in this place.

"Well, as long as I'm stuck here..."

I move to get up and immediately drop again.

"God damn it..."

My right leg doesn't want to work with me either. At least it has feeling and I can move it, so I know it still functions.

"Sprain? Broken bone? Geez...I can't get a break. *snicker* Or can I?"

Lame jokes at my own expense aside, I try once more to stand and this time not put as much weight on it. This thankfully works and I'm able to limp my over to my lonesome device. I'll check if it works later. Right now, my goals are to first find someone or something that I can use to heal. Damn myself for not going to medical school when I had the chance. I slowly begin to follow the only path that is given to me, oddly enough there's a door-less archway. Yeah, like this isn't foreboding at all.

Entering this room, I find it's completely empty except for a single flower. It's a golden flower, with a white androecium, six yellow petals, and a green stem. You know, a typical looking flower if ever there was one. It is odd how flowers of any kind are able to grow down here without sunlight. They should be as dead as those vines.

"H-Howdy!"

A sudden voice freaks the crap out of me, but what really is freaking me out is the fact that the flower has a face and is now nervously smiling at me.

"I...I'm FLOWEY. FLOWEY the FLOWER!"

A talking flower? A real talking flower complete with a name? My mind makes no sense of this.

"Uh...S'up?"

It seems surprised to see me, looking me over like I'm some sort of new type of animal. Has he never seen a human before? Of course not, dummy, it lives in a freaking cave! Wake up, idiot. I know I fell down and hit a lot of shit, but I can't be so stupid. I've had worse head trauma than this. Still...Am I really that weird looking?

At least I think I'm normal enough. I'm 5'8'' tall, got a decent body type, long brown hair I let loose that reaches my ass but is currently curtaining my face, pale white skin, got 2 surgical stainless steel captive earrings in each earlobe, dressed in a red blood stained long sleeved t-shirt and now ripped black dungarees with that have chains hooked on each belt-loop, some black combat boots...Okay, yeah, I take it back. I'm fucking freaky looking.

"S-Say...You're n-new to the UNDERGROUND, aren'tcha?"

Why do I have the sudden urge to be a huge dick?

"Heh...Yeah. You could say I just dropped in."

It gulps, I believe out of intimidation.

"G-Golly, y-you must be so c-confused."

"Look, flower-boy, there's no need to sound so scared. I ain't gonna mess with you."

It tilts its head.

"Huh? You...You're not?"

My right leg fidgets before I buckle to it again. This seems to worry the flower.

"W-Whoa! Are you okay?"

"*grunt* The fall messed me up...My leg isn't wanting to move so well. It's not as bad as the arm though."

"Your arm...?"

Now it seems to take notice of the limb appendage dangling at my side.

"You're bleeding!"

"Dislocated...Can't move it. Not so bad, really. I'm right-handed."

"H-How are you able to make jokes at when you're so hurt?"

"Eh...It distracts from the pain. *wince* Doesn't stop the pain though. Y-You wouldn't happen to know if there's somewhere I can get patched up? Maybe someone else down here that's a doctor or something? Hell, I'll take a creepy old witch covered in warts and wreaking of cat piss if they'll fix me."

It looks around, like an animal knowing a predator is nearby.

"I...I know we just met, but...You seem...Well...Honestly, you seem like a weirdo. B-B-But a decent weirdo that hasn't tried to kill me!"

"Why would I...? Whatever. You were saying?"

"R-Right...Do you think you can trust me?"

"Flowey, was it? I don't know how much you know about humans, but if this wound isn't sealed, I will die. So I'd like to skip the 'do you trust me' cliché and get to the part where you help me so I can help you."

Its eyes widen.

"W-Why do you think I..."

"You're acting as nervous as a cat in a dog pound. Flowers aren't really high on the big bad scale. I can put two and two together enough to know you're in a bind just talking to me this long. So again, I say let's skip to the part where you help me so I can help you...Please?"

It gives me a sad but understanding look before nodding a tad more confidently.

"Alright. Put that arm on the ground in front of me."

I crawl over to Flowey and do as it asked. I lurch down and plop this hunk of dead weight onto the dirt. Flowey looks at it and then me before looking at my hand. I start to question so much, like my sanity, at this point till these little vines begin creeping out of the soil and make their way up my arm. I bet this would feel strange if I had the nerve connection. With the vines scaling up my arm, Flowey's body follows suit and soon enough its reached my shoulder.

"Now this might sting a little."

"Probably not as bad as yanking the rock out of their in the first place."

Still, I brace myself for whatever is to come. It feels like time stops till my eyes widen in intense pain.

"*roar*!"

A vine quickly wraps around my mouth to muffle my loud sounds of pain as Flowey shifts his roots to enter the wound, filling it. Other vines snake their way downward, wrapping around my torso and curling around my bad leg. Please say this is hell! Please say I'm in hell and this is my punishment for trying to die! Because if I really am alive this is fucked up!

"Shhhhh! You really don't want the guardian to find you here. If we're lucky, she'll think that roar was from another monster."

Monster? Guardian? Again, please tell me this is hell!

"I know it hurts. Just bear with me a little longer. Ow! No biting!"

"*muffled whimpering*"

"Almost...and..."

*clack*

"*muffled roaring*"

"There. I managed to pull the bone back into place. You should be able to move it again...I hope. I'm not a doctor after all."

"*muffled whimpering*"

"Oh! And I'm helping to brace your leg too. Just try not to do anything reckless. Okay? I'm just acting as a temporary band-aid. Now, I'm going to remove the gag. Can you promise to not scream or...roar?"

I nod slowly. Cautiously, the vines leave my mouth and I make little whimper sounds.

"That bad?"

"My life flashed before my eyes..."

"And?"

"...It was disappointing."

Flowey pouts but gasps when I move my left arm to move the hair out of my face so I can wipe the tears from my heavily bagged hazel eyes.

"Whoa...You have a face."

I roll my eyes.

"What? You thought there was nothing here?"

"Well, no. I just thought...well...You looked so creepy with your hair like that."

"I can see that. So...You're rooted around the bones?"

"Just till you can heal."

"Neat."

"So...Do all humans roar?"

"Nope. I'm just weird like that."

"Why?"

"I don't know how to scream."

"...Really?"

"Yep. I roar instead. It's just how I am."

"I'm not sure if that's cool or not."

"Whatever floats your boat. But, uh...As a flower, don't you need dirt?"

"Uh...Maybe?"

"...What do you mean maybe? Are you really fine being in my blood?"

"In case you haven't noticed, I'm not really a normal flower."

"So there aren't other talking flowers down here?"

"Nope. ...Just me."

Seems I've touched a sore spot. Best move on to something else. I push myself up and stretch to a stand. It feels so bizarre, yet, not in a bad way.

"You mentioned a 'guardian'...Mind telling me more?"

"Oh! Her name is Toriel. She patrols the Ruins looking for fallen humans to take their souls."

That gets to me.

"So the legends are true? The monsters are really down here?"

"You know about that?"

"Only what is in old folklore books. Humanity has moved on since the old days. Gone is the way of magic. Modern man is the master of technology now. It's actually really sad to find out this is real...No one believes the old stories were true. Monster kind is nothing more than myth up there now."

Flowey looks hurt and I don't like it. I pat his petal head.

"Don't be sad."

"Huh?"

"The world may forget you down here, but I won't. So buck up my friend."

Its eyes widen.

"F-Friend?"

I rub the back of my head bashfully.

"Look at me. What kind of friend doesn't even tell the other their name. Man, I suck at this. Hi Flowey, I'm Lynsie. But you can call me Lynn for short. Nice to meet you."

It smiles.

"It's nice to meet you too."

[You've made your very first friend. It fills you with an oddly warm fuzzy feeling...and DETERMINATION.]

Uh...What?

"You okay?"

"Did you just hear something?"

"No? Did you?"

I shake it off.

"Probably just my imagination."

"Okay...We should get going anyway. The longer we stay in one place, the worse our odds of safety are."

"Alright. *pose* Come with me, Flowey! We shall now travel down the only road given to us!"

Flowey looks at me funny.

"Oh my god, I'm attached to a huge dork."

"You'll get used to it."

"I highly doubt that."

And off we go. Adventure and probably more bullshit await us. We walk through another archway and into a dreary looking space. The walls are layered in red brick, dry red leaves sit at the base of the duel stairway while some leaves make a square in the center of the room. Up the stairs and through another archway we enter a room that actually has a door in it, but it also has six raised stones on the floor and a yellow switch by the door...what's this about?

"Hey, you need to press the buttons in the right order and then flip the switch to get through the door. The RUINS are full of puzzles. Ancient fusions between diversions and door keys. If you want to make it out of here you'll need to do these things."

"Seems a bit dumb."

"I know this one. Just walk where I point."

Taking directions from a flower...never saw this coming in my life. I move where Flowey guides me to and then flip the switch, the door opens.

"Seems easy enough."

"They'll get trickier the farther we go."

"Of course they will."

I go to walk into the next room but pause for a moment, a plaque by the door has my attention.

[Only the fearless may proceed. Brave ones, foolish ones. Both walk not the middle road.]

What is doing that?!

Feeling weird I enter the next room and Flowey proceeds to teach me even more about puzzles.

"So...What can you tell me about the 'underground'?"

"Yeah, you really don't know what to do, do you? Someone ought to teach you how things work around here! I guess little old me will have to do."

"That's why I asked."

"Alright. Just don't freak out about this."

A strange energy is felt and a red heart appears on my chest. This makes me feel awkward and vulnerable. I don't like it.

"See that heart? That is your SOUL, the very culmination of your being!"

"Interesting..."

I do feel a sense of power, not sure what it means, but I like it.

"Your SOUL starts out weak, but can grow strong if you gain a lot of LV."

"LV? Like as in Level?"

He snickers and shakes his head.

"No, silly. LV doesn't mean level. Well, not quite really. What do you think this is? A video game or something?"

"It's just the first thing to pop up in my head. I play a ton of video games and LV usually stands for Level."

"No harm done, Human. Anyway...What LV stands for is Level of Violence."

"Ah, an acronym. Very clever."

"LV is a way of measuring someone's capacity to hurt. The more you kill, the easier it becomes to distance yourself. The more you distance yourself, the less you will hurt. The more easily you can bring yourself to hurt others. To increase your LV, you need to gain EXP."

"I'm wrong for thinking that's Experience Points, aren't I?"

"You really are a big nerd."

I shrug.

"EXP is also an acronym. It stands for Execution Points. A way of quantifying the pain you have inflicted on others. When you kill someone, your EXP increases. When you have enough EXP, your LV increases."

"I don't mean to interrupt, but...Why would I need to be killing down here?"

"Since the War, monsters have taken to a darker side of thinking. In this world, it's kill or BE killed. Humans that fall down here are to be killed and have their souls taken to King Asgore so that the barrier can finally be broken."

I give this some thought.

"Flowey...How many souls are needed to break the barrier?"

"Seven."

"And...How many does the King have?"

"Flowey?"

"...Six."

A sudden sense of weight hits my soul.

"So...I'd be the last one needed. The final soul to free all monsters."

"Yeah."

[You asked the universe if it would hurt to be someone that mattered...It answered back with a YES.]

Seriously, what the fuck is that?!

"I know that's a lot to drop on you, but you need to know this stuff. Monsters will be trying to kill you left and right to get a hold of that soul. You need to be ready to take a life to save your own."

I stop and cup my soul in my right hand. So much fuss over this thing? So much riding on it. So fate, you've decided to finally give me an answer to all the times I've asked why you made me ignored. What a sick sense of humor you have. At least death has better jokes.

"*giggles*"

"Um...Why are you laughing?"

"*chuckles* Because life is funny sometimes."

Pressing my soul inward to return to my body, I can't help but smile at such universal irony. Okay world, you kept me alive this long. Guess this was what you were waiting for my sorry ass to do all these years.

"Flowey..."

"Yeah?"

"I'm not going to kill anyone."

It looks at me in disbelief as I start walking again.

"Wha...What do you mean you're not going to kill anyone?! There's no other option!"

"You'd be surprised by the weird and random choices one can make when given a chance."

"I'm telling you, there is NO choice! If you don't fight, you WILL die!"

"Oh, I never said I wasn't going to fight."

Now it's confused.

"I...I don't understand?"

"I mean it when I say I'm not killing anyone. Hell, I can't even get myself to die. I doubt the reaper wants what I send its way either."

It looks concerned.

"Human..."

"So if death doesn't want me, then I sure as hell ain't wasting this second chance. I will not kill. But I will defend myself."

"...You're going to get us both killed."

"No...Just myself. I'm the one with the soul needed to free everyone. The moment shit starts going south, I won't hold it against you if you leave me."

Flowey just stares at me. What thoughts run through your head little flower-boy?

"*scoff* Like I can really leave you, idiot. You're a sitting duck without me."

I see this as Flowey's tough guy act and simply smile.

"Glad to know I have a partner that's got my back...among other body parts."

It flinches.

"Was that suppose to be a joke?"

"Why are you flustered, flower-boy? Did that get under your skin?"

"Stop it."

"Why? Do you have a bone to pick with me?"

"Stop it! You're not funny."

"Ow. And here I thought you were rooting for me."

"*growl* I said...SHUT UP!"

I merely laugh as we enter the room after this. But this is when things get weird. There's a training dummy in it.

"Well, Ms. NoKill, time to show me what you got. As a human living in the UNDERGROUND, monsters WILL attack you. Even if you don't do anything to justify the attack. Just being human is warrant enough. When you encounter a monster, you will enter a FIGHT. Let me see how you handle the Dummy."

I go up to the dummy and check it out. The Dummy's appearance is that of most dummies. Structured with a head, body, stand and no arms. It looks to be made a cloth-like material, probably stuffed with cotton, has one button eye and has visible stitches. It won't take much effort to break it. But...

"Yo, what's up?"

Flowey's eye twitches.

"What are you doing?"

"Can't you see? I'm talking to it."

"Why?! It's a freaking dummy!"

"No need to be so rude. Please forgive my friend here, I think it woke up on the wrong side of the flowerbed."

"Argh! Stop making those stupid jokes."

"I will when they stop being funny."

"Look, just hit the dummy. At least once. It's not like it can harm you if you do and desire revenge."

"You don't know that."

"*annoyed* Fine! Do whatever you want!"

Flowey's so cute when ticked off. But this doesn't feel so weird to me. Having no one to talk to makes you talk to yourself and objects a lot more than others would care to know. A familiar energy tugs at me and my SOUL reappears...it's green now. Very strange.

"You look like a nice guy. Just because you're a dummy, doesn't mean you deserve to be hit. In fact..."

Out of all the random things I tend to do, this one goes up on my list. I hug the dummy. I'm not expecting much to happen from this, other than Flowey to go nuts, so imagine my shock when a black box pops up beside me and the dummy.

[You hug the DUMMY.]

[It seem really uncomfortable about this and tires of your shenanigans.]

I suddenly feel movement and let the dummy go. Upon doing so, the dummy floats away into another room. Leaving me and Flowey to share the same dumbfounded look.

[YOU WON!]

[You earned 0 XP and 0 gold.]

The FIGHT seemingly over, everything reverts to normal. My soul returns to me and I am very confused.

"Uh...What?!"

"What just happened here? What was that box? Can I really earn money this way? Did I really just hug a living dummy? So many questions!"

Flowey seems a bit startled by my sudden flip into rapid questions, but its leaf slapping my cheek shuts me up quick.

"Snap out of it! I'll explain everything. The box is a magic used by none speaking monsters so that they can communicate with others. It can even translate body movements and hand signals."

"That...makes some sense, I guess. So wait, the dummy was a monster?"

"Probably a ghost possessing the dummy. If a ghost finds a suitable body and their soul connects right, they can become corporeal like a living being."

"Oh my god, this place is fucking nuts!"

"What's nuts is YOU. I said FIGHT and you hugged it. If that were a real fight you'd so be dead."

"But it wasn't a real fight. So there was no need to attack."

"*grumbles* As for gold, most monsters will pay you depending on how you handle the FIGHT. And every FIGHT gives you experience. Whether it's good or bad, that is up to you. But judging by how you handle things, that's going to be experience in stupidity."

"Hey, it's like the sign said...Only the fearless may proceed. Brave ones, foolish ones. Both walk not the middle road. I choose to take the road less traveled."

"You really are an idiot."

"You know you love me."

"*scoff* There is another puzzle in this next room...I wonder if you can solve it?"

"Is that a challenge?"

I go into the next room and look around for the puzzle or its possible solution. The only thing I can see is this odd pattern on the floor. Definitely not a walkway. Could mean something else. The puzzle maybe?

"Ribbit! Ribbit!"

"Huh?"

"Look out!"

[Froggit attacks you!]

I feel something leap at my back and knock me down as my soul emerges. Then hops off to be in front of me.

[HP ████████ 8/20]

"Oh come on...Well, I can't really bitch about that. I did get fucked up in a fall and all."

"Focus, human. The Froggit already had its turn to attack. Now it's your move."

"Turn-based fighting and I have HP? Are you sure I'm not in a video game?"

"I don't even know anymore. Just do something."

I take a moment to at least get a look at my 'opponent'. Froggit's overall appearance is that of a large frog. I say large as this thing stands almost to my knees in terms of size. Only its two front feet are visible from this forward facing view, it's eyes are red, for some reason it has fangs, and has three black marks on its chest. Between its two front feet is what appears to be some small creature with red eyes that excessively blink and has a frowning mouth. I have no clue what strange ass frog this is, but if I were to make a guess, I'd think this is it's baby, attached mate, or just maybe attached sibling. I don't know. That's all I can think of at least. Because I really don't want to think of it as a mutant with two heads. I've seen enough weird mutant frogs online. Just when I'm about to think of something, more magic boxes appear before me.

[FIGHT]

[ACT]

[ITEM]

[MERCY]

"Hmmm...Let's try this one."

[ACT selected.]

[New options available.]

[CHECK]

[THREATEN]

[COMPLIMENT]

"I'll check."

[Froggit – HP: 20 ATK: 4 DEF: 5 - Life is difficult for this enemy.]

Well, that sucks. Maybe I can try something to make this easier.

[COMPLIMENT selected.]

"You know, I don't think I've ever seen a more awesome looking monster in my life."

I hold a thumb up to really sell it.

[You are intimidated by Froggit's raw strength. Only kidding.]

"*whisper* You look like a huge jackass right now."

"*whisper* Not now, Flowey."

[Froggit didn't understand what you said, but knew it was nice and was flattered anyway.]

Flowey is so confused right now but I go over and give the Froggit a little petting on its head.

"There, there, buddy. Heh...Adorable looking fella you are really."

[Froggit is grateful and feels bad for attack you.]

"Awww..."

"Really? All that over a compliment?"

"This world might be kill or be killed, but a little kindness can go a heck of a long way. Ain't that right, buddy?"

[Froggit feels happy and seems reluctant to fight you.]

"Thanks, buddy."

[MERCY selected.]

[New options available.]

[FLEE]

[SPARE]

[SPARE selected.]

[YOU WON!]

[You earned 0 XP and 2 gold.]

"Did...You really just win?"

"I call that checkmate, Mr. YesKill."

I let Flowey processes that for a moment, poor flower-boy looks as though I've blown his mind. After a bit more petting, the Foggit leaves and we head into the next area. Now I'm halted by a bridge that is covered in spikes.

"So is this the puzzle?"

"This is the puzzle, but..."

"Yes?

"I forgot how it goes."

"Eh...It doesn't look too bad. I mean, these things are pretty short. Plus I saw that weird pattern on the floor."

Just to be sure, I double back and check the pattern again.

"Got it?"

"Got it."

We go back to the 'puzzle' and walk through the spikes safely before making it to the other side.

"Tah-dah! Teamwork power!"

"Just how old are you?"

"You won't believe me if I told you."

"Try me."

"Twenty eight."

"Told you so."

"You're either lying or you're suffering from massive head trauma."

"Believe what you will, flower-boy. It doesn't bother me in the slightest."

We travel into the next room but for some reason my right leg stiffens up. I look at Flowey with concern, as it is the one helping to move that leg.

"What's wrong?"

"Shhh...Do you hear that?"

I listen for anything odd but quickly force myself to jump backward due to something I see. No more than a second later does a ball of fire suddenly hit the ground where we just were. Seeing this makes Flowey gulp in fright.

"Talk to me, Flowey. What is this thing?"

It's shaking like a leaf in a hurricane.

"I-I-It's...It's...HER."

All the way at the far end of the room, stands an ominous silhouette. I can't make out much, but what I do see is horns, glowing eyes, and fists of fire. This is not going to end well.