I KNOW YA'LL DON'T SHIP SEBARD BUT PLS JUST HEAR ME OUT!
Imagine servants greeting Ciel and Seb post Compania ark. And Seb is just covered in human bites (weird dolls) and has a massive fuck0you wound in the middle of his torso.
Like even in canon he was pretty fucked up by that scythe and i headcanon that his body can't do it's usual demon healing magic on that wound. All energy goes in keeping him alive, so his injuries heal at human speed.
So when they finally arrive at the manor who else then a army veteran wound treat his wounds. (You can't tell me Seb would allow human doctor look at his weird otherworldly anatomy, especially when you can see his freaking insides...).
Imagine how triggering that would be to Bard. His mind would probably be on autopilot until he was finished. And then flashbacks to both war and his family dying. And like he thought of Sebastian as a "superhuman", a constant. Seeing him injured and in need of HIS help is verging on uncanny valley...
(Also he saw this dude literally eat bullets. It would be kinda scary to think what was at sea that would fuck up Seb so badly... With human teeth no less.).
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Seb probably hasn't been so close to his own mortality in a long time so the whole experience doesn't sit right with him either... But even more weird is SOMEONE ELSE worrying ABOUT HIM.
I like to think that he would be absolutely shit at comforting someone distressed about his wellbeing. Like his whole experience with that is comforting a bratty 12 years old and dealing with Ciel's nightmares. And here is a grown ass man with PTSD. He is so
uniquely unprepared to deal with it. He tries his best, which is absolute worst, until Bard just asks him to shut up.
And like he is probably not in a right mind either. He failed, he lost the fight, he got injured and then they basically run. And the whole "possibility of dying thing" is not a concept an immortals creature really thought about.
He asks Bard to sleep at his room. Totally for Bard's sake. Not because of the latest events or because most demons don't like sleeping alone. Cause in hell that would just make you an easy target to others.
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At some point, you have to concede that the abuse wasn't your fault - that there was no action you could have taken to have prevented it, and that it wasn't your fault.
I used to try finding the magic things that would stop the abuse - gifts, kind words, tears, smiles, pretending I didn't exist - and that was because I first and foremost saw the abuse as my fault. It was my responsibility to end the abuse, otherwise, I am somehow proving to the skies above that this is what I wanted from life. I've noticed that for some people, this is a common impulse. It's the victim-blaming internalized and molded in such a way that feels true, and it's hard sometimes to notice it.
What I want to do is, at the very least, remind you (if this resonates) that it isn't your fault. But you don't need to blame yourself for this, either, because you never deserved this in the first place. This isn't "atonement," this isn't right, this isn't cosmic justice. I can't tell you how to leave this situation, but I will say that you deserve to know that you don't deserve this, that you aren't an irredeemable monster who is being punished, as I've seen some people (including myself) believing about our abuse.
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The overwhelming urge to throw up and lock myself in my room because of tomorrow. I do not want the talk with HR tomorrow. I'm going to lose my job, and my grades that DEPEND on this job is going to cause me to fail
Fuck, why is this happening to me. I don't want this, I just want everything to go back to normal. I liked this job, I was doing well, my grades was fine.
Why the fuck did they suddenly say that I'm no longer fit for this?? I can't fuckkk I can't do this. I don't know how I'm going to go through tomorrow.
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Hara!! <3 28 for feanor/melkor for the kiss prompts? 👀 (also if i just unfollowed and re-followed you because i clicked the wrong damn button pls ignore it i am. very tired lmao)
MONA!!! HI! sorry this took me so long i was having a mental breakdown over it <3 But here it is!!! <3
Also everyone read the tags they hold important info, thank you <3
Prompt 28: As a lie.
Pairing: Fëanor/Melkor
They meet under the starlit sky and the mingling light of the Trees.
It is easy for them to slip unnoticed into one of the secluded gardens of Tirion, known only to a select few. Fëanor, draped in his black cloak, conceals the colors of his Father's House. Melkor, clad in darkness, blends seamlessly with the night.
It has become a habit. A pastime of sorts that both of them seem to enjoy. They sit together in the dark of the night, exchanging ideas and thoughtful words. Despite Melkor's past transgressions, Fëanor feels a sense of ease around the Vala. Each time, he allows himself to get closer to him, to get entangled in Melkor’s words.
Melkor is nothing like he had first thought. He is everything a Vala should be, majestic, just, and regal. He speaks and Fëanor listens, each word is like a gentle breeze against his face in the endless heat of the summer. Melkor moves gracefully across the garden, as if he can’t contain his restless energy, not after three ages of imprisonment.
Fëanor leans against one of the walls of the garden and observes him as Melkor's fingers hover near the flowers, hesitant yet lingering. His hands possess the power to create and to destroy—a duality Fëanor has come to understand well.
"Isn't this exquisite, Fëanor?" Melkor inquires softly, his fingertips brushing the petals of a flower. Fëanor watches, unsurprised, as the petals wilt and fall, the flower decaying slowly before his eyes. "How fragile they are."
“I've never had much interest in flowers,” Fëanor answers truthfully. His hands bear the marks of his work in the forges, his palms and fingers rough and calloused from the hours spent holding a hammer.
“I know,” Melkor says, cutting the dead flower by its stem. “But surely, you can appreciate the beauty of decay.”
He turns to face Fëanor, his eyes glinting in the faint glow of the Light. He reaches his hand out to give the flower to him, yet Fëanor pushes away from the wall and walks towards him. He stands in front of Melkor, craning his head back to meet his gaze. He is tall but the Vala towers over him. Fëanor reaches out, their fingers brushing as he takes the flower from Melkor's hand.
“Indeed,” he answers, and his voice comes across as a whisper. They are so close that Fëanor can finally look upon his face closely, his eyes wandering over the lines between his eyebrows and the curve of his nose. Melkor’s eyes, he realizes, have speckles of dark gray beneath the red.
Fëanor's gaze lingers on Melkor's mouth, contemplating the curiosity that has stirred within him for so long. He hesitates. He shouldn’t be doing this. Yet he leans in, so close to Melkor’s mouth that he can feel his breath on his lips.
Melkor’s lips twitch in a smile and his hand comes up to cradle Fëanor’s cheek, the scent of the flower lingering on his fingers. It's an intoxicating scent that loosens Fëanor's inhibitions, drawing him nearer as Melkor closes the distance between them.
But just before their lips meet, Melkor pauses, a mere whisper separating them from what they both have been waiting for.
“Tell me you want this,” he murmurs, and his voice reaches Fëanor slowly, as if it is miles away.
“I don’t,” Fëanor lies.
Before he can regret it, he closes the distance between them, pressing his lips against Melkor’s in a tentative kiss. Melkor meets his kiss with shared passion, pushing him back against the wall he was leaning on moments ago.
The flower is long forgotten.
Send me a ship and a number
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