#it's just mids pal

[each-dustbin1]

Last of the Kyanta for now plus some funny others

[keyunto]

pals... 😭

[graff-aganda]

Reminiscing about my HOA phase again. . .

[coldercreation]

brb about to go down a research rabbit hole lol

Question of the day!

Why is showing ‘disinterest’ such prevalent thing when it comes to building friendships and relationships?

I have talked about this here before in my rants lol, but it just always frustrates me. Like, you know those arbitrary ‘rules’ in dating that you shouldn’t show too much interest or get in touch too soon, or be too ‘intense’ or interested? Like, obviously don’t be a stalker and read the room etc, but I mean if you're just a regular and safe 'well-adjusted' person, why is you showing genuine effort and interest seen as a bad thing (I don't mean love bombing, that's a whole different thing)? If you genuinely like each other, why is the social rule saying that you shouldn’t show that? Same goes with friendships, why is showing interest in the person you want to get to know sometimes, somehow, a bad thing? To a point that some people can get put off by that effort someone is showing to get to know them? Not saying everyone is like this, because I know there are so many people who aren’t. And plenty people also disregard these social rules because they aren’t actually concrete rules. 

This is just a social construct and I’m trying to figure out why it is, because it seems counter productive? By what logic does it work? How are you supposed to make friends/date, if them showing interest in you makes you exit the relationship/ghost/breadcrumb?

How long are we supposed to only talk in one line texts about surface level stuff, to avoid being too much/too intense, before it’s acceptable? How do you know you’re following the same social timelines with the people you’re trying to get close to, when there’s no actual set rules? Someone might think you have to wait three days after a date to get in touch, but someone else will get offended if you take longer than two. But the next day or the same day is too desperate to some folk? And I'm talking about this from the point of view of someone who doesn't have trouble reading social cues/expectations. Can't even imagine dealing with this mess if that wasn't the case. Like what's the point of having these 'rules' if it just makes things more difficult for everyone? :')

These rules, technically, don't need to exist at all. It's all made up, based on... Something? We can always dismiss them ourselves but I'd like to know why they came to be and why we keep upholding them. I want to know the social purpose y'know? Is it a safety thing? Protecting yourself and not wanting to be vulnerable? That'd be valid, of course. But it does seem self sabotaging as it blocks people from actually making the connections they say they want to have?

I’ve been trying to find any research on the social behaviour regarding this, but I’m not sure what to even look up lol. Especially because I think the way we interact and behave has changed so much just in the last five years even. 

I just find it so curious that there’s so many headlines about loneliness epidemic, but people also recoil away from others when someone does show them genuine interest and wants to talk to them.   

I’ve had this initial ‘disinterest’ stage happen in the friendship context more. Also sudden, out of nowhere, communication ending/ghosting disinterest when trying to make friends (like please hurt my heart some more I beg u lmao). I haven’t really dated in the last few years so I don’t personally know how that field is at the moment, but I know ghosting is really common and people actively try to hold back from showing interest at first, even if they are reallyreally interested.

Maybe I’ll try looking more into the effects on social media etc, there’s a lot about ghosting in that context. But I just feel like it’s not quite what I mean, because I feel this disinterest phenomenon thing is separate from ghosting. 

Anyway! Happy Sunday loll xx

[trucbiduleschouettes]

Americans realise there're timezones other than theirs, many hours in the future from them right

[chiropteracupola]

Forgive my northern attitude / for I was raised on little light...

[semi-annual pentecost waite for @pentecostwaite]

[cobalt-drawlight]

Robbyn's request

[thebleedingeffect]

I think putting John Ward, Mike Schmidt, and Will Graham would be the worst decision of all time, but at the same time, I think it'd be so funny. Everyone thinks that Will Graham is the same sort of nervous, sorta pitiful looking guy as them, but Will is actually a big old bitch and an extremely sassy, biting fucker. On the other hand, Mike and John most definitely are the anxious sort of guys and have NOWHERE close to the amount of bite that Will has.

I'm just saying, I'm currently having an impulsive thought and it's that I think all three of them being friends would be fucking fantastic to see.

[maxellminidisc]

Wish people who made skorts, shorts, and skirts realized that not everyone is comfortable rocking minis like so much of anything shorter than a pant just skips straight to mini cut like come on!!!!

[wolfstrong]

I always always always appreciate when shows have a female comic relief character and just for that I have to give props to Anya cuz come season 5 she’s definitely the funniest person on the show

[maimedaffair]

to : @prscttss from : blue

happy first day of hanukkah ! i'm with my dad this year. that's usually a good thing -- except this year , he's rented a cabin up in the middle of the woods to get away from it all. ( his words , not mine. ) it's not the first time he's done this -- we actually got snowed in one year for like two weeks. we had to ration beans. dad makes sure we buy double the groceries now ... which also means we end up taking the extra food to the food kitchen at the end of the holiday. that part is nice , at least. sitting in a cabin with my dad &* no cable is ... less nice. especially since i think i'm going to come out to him.

i haven't decided when exactly. i'm scared. like , do i wait until the end of the trip ? or just flat out say it now ? it'll be really awkward if he's upset -- i figure he could kick me out into the snow , but he's not that kind of guy. or he could just drive us home &* be pissed about having paid in full for this cabin. even worse , what if he's really understanding &* we have to like , talk about it. i'm really not ready for another talk. ( i had the girl version when i was ten. i don't think i can stomach the boy version from a straight man. imagine your parents googling how to talk to their gay son about intimacy ? ) what would you do ? wait or tell him now ?

speaking of , sorry if my replies are slow. my service out here is spotty. you can send mailed postage to 'middle of nowhere' &* it might find me faster. my dad is making latkes tonight , though , so there's something to look forward to. do you &* your family do anything special for the holidays ? tell me you at least wear cute little santa claus hats. or maybe a slutty mrs. claus dress ? i don't know your style ; i won't judge. ( i'll just try to imagine it. jk. )

pray i don't get eaten by bears before you reply. <3 blue

[movedtodykedvonte]

I’m working and I’m plotting and I’m sorry that I have not something to disclose with y’all yet.

[chmydarling]

lou's handwriting

[x] [x]

p.s. many thanks to walkerwhisperer for getting me thinking about louis' handwriting some more (and subsequently getting v obsessed and indecisive about different fonts ksdgjfhgdg)

[stanchett]

apologies for being ia yall, I just got home and… I have a lot to process and recover from. writing starts up again tomorrow ❤️

[aerithisms]

been playing more ff16 to slowly make my way to the finish line and it really is one of the most painfully mid games i've played. it has all the bones of something good In Theory and then just zero interest in excavating anything past surface level depth out of any of it. it's just Fine.

[seuugyoon]

#rant