#it's been too long since i bought cds for myself..... such a lovely feeling looking at the booklets for the first time

[vinterskald]

had the chance to go to this 2nd hand cd/dvd store today and bought literally all but one of all the mission albums they had. so excited

[arrow-dodger]

When I was 12, my mom bought the soundtrack to The Phantom of the Opera movie with Gerard Butler. She must have gotten the CD from the bargain bin at Wal Mart or something. She started playing it all the time in the car, insisting she loved that kind of music (which she had never listened to before, as far as I'm aware).

I became obsessed with it almost immediately. I made her get me the movie and I watched it almost every night. At that age I hated Raoul because I thought he was lame and weak. The Phantom was my sexy sad boy and for some reason I thought I could fix him. No offense to Christine, but I was built different. The idea of being someone's entire world was very appealing to me, because I never felt important to anyone. I wanted someone to take me away to be theirs forever. That was a romance I could read fanfiction about for years to come.

I've always listened to it and watched the movie from time to time since, but I revisited it more specifically recently. It occurred to me that I only know the movie version of the songs, which are probably the worst ones, so I started listening to the original Broadway cast and the 2011 recording.

The vibe is... very different. I am very different. Gerard Butler's Phantom IS kind of a sexy sad boy in comparison, and the stage Phantom has much more "muahahaha" energy. I mean, he's a devious, cringe little bitch. But the thing is that he's also scary as hell. Actually, this entire thing has always been scary, and I was kind of blind to it because of how sexy Gerard Butler is, maybe. Listening now, it's a horror that sends chills down my spine.

Now as an adult the romance angle doesn't work the same. I've had men make me their entire world before and convince me they'd die without me living to care for them. I've had men give me things without me asking and then use that against me later. I've had men seek out my very specific weaknesses to exploit them in their favor. I've had men threaten violence and violate my personhood because they wanted to own me so badly. I had a man essentially brainwash me for so many years.

I always hated Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again as a kid. I thought the song was boring and would skip past it sometimes, because I just didn't get what it added. Now I get that it's the entire linchpin to the plot of this thing.

When I watch that scene now, I realize that Christine's trauma about the death of her father IS the plot. That's what all of this is about, in the end. During the Wandering Child bit afterwards, when I see her say "wildly my mind beats against you, but my soul obeys," I know that very feeling... and it isn't romantic, it's DARK. When she says she has endless longings, she doesn't mean she longs to have a sexy phantom boyfriend, she means she longs to feel safe! Feel loved! Protected! She wants to feel like her father is still around and looking out for her! And she spent all these years thinking she would get these things from this person who's convinced her he's an avatar of her dead father, who spends this song calling her a lost child who needs his guidance, specifically poking at the wound he knows she has to give himself the upper hand. That isn't hot! That's awful!

When I see Christine crying as she turns away from the Phantom at the end of the 2011 production, I don't think she's sad because she's in love with him too. I think she's sad because she's leaving behind this person who is the architect of her entire consciousness. Someone who has convinced her that they need each other, that they're each other's destiny. She's realizing that she needs to leave her father behind. When he says "Christine, I love you," she's hearing her father's voice. She doesn't know who she is without him, or if she'll completely collapse if she takes another step away. And bitch, same. I've been there too. I thought I'd die myself.

The angles that art can stab you from change with you as you age. Stranger than you dreamt it!

[sewmice]

hello! <3 i'd like to thank you so much for posting those new utapri songs <3 i have severe depression and since they announced the end of shining live, i've been sadder than ever this year. i've been looking at your tumblr everyday since you posted "samuraizm" and i feel so happy now with the new songs you posted. thank you so much, it made my day and week much happier <3 you're an angel (sorry i don't have a tumblr, so it has to be annonymous, but just know that you're special to me) <3 xoxo

It's absolutely no problem! I'm so happy to finally be able to give back to this community in recent years after so long! I know I'm not the only uploader out there, but I'm proud to be the new designated uploader of the Tumblr lol. To the best that my budget and interests currently allow (Sorry Heavens). And I do hope as time goes on, I can buy and provide more and more!

To think this all started because I was salty the Shining Romance and Force Live MVs were never officially posted, and understandably hard to find from other fans. So I bought Setsugetsuka, which started the slow slide of "Well maybe I'll order this CD too."

Also show love to any other uploaders out there! Hikarinoakari has always been a pretty steady source for ages that I somehow forgot about until earlier this year.

And now to be sappy. I feel you so much. Utapri has gotten me through some rough depressive episodes. So many of my friends as well. The music, the series, all of the uploaders past and current, and so much of the community has kept myself and so many others sane. And I very much hope to continue to help spread that light for years to come. Gonna be hard to get rid of me now after all. I've already been in this Utapri hell for 10 years now.

The Shining Live situation is rough. It definitely gave a lot of us a kick to the stomach. It's been weird playing JP as normal, like EN isn't slowly getting closer to the end. And playing EN like it's not ending.

Don't give up hope just yet though! There's still two and a half weeks until our supposed end date! One and a half until our possible nail in the coffin with URs in the Memorial Bangle shop. There's is possibly still time for them to change their minds! The Chinese server got their notice of the merge option only a week before their shut down date!

Email the support team! Email KLab! Let your voice be heard!

And even if it does die, JP is still there! The community is still here! Translating and posting and doing our best with our crumbs! And even without Shining Live, Utapri has thankfully become more and more accessible to international fans over the years. The songs are finally being added to international markets! (5th Anniversary CD is on iTunes!) There is so much Utapri out there, that even if it's sad, and it will be hard, we can keep going!

Now I'm done being sappy lol. This got very long and rambly. Just thank you and everyone else who are all so kind!

[ginnsbaker]

wow. part 6 literally made me speechless the first time I read it. I literally had to take breather cause that was too much for me to deal with 😭 I'm sorry this might be too long cause I have so much to say....

• Wanda pointing out that having children would've made her rethink her decisions, I felt that, deeply. Personally, I am someone who's not sure whether I want children or not in the future so for her to say "Maybe it would have stopped me"??? GIRL F*CK YOU 😭🤮. My mind would definitely make me think of that over and over again until I start blaming myself for what happened.

• You know what hurts the most? The fact that there's no one else to blame except Wanda and Vision. In other cheating fics, the mind stone always serves a purpose why Wanda decided to cheat. It's always "there's a connection between us because of the stone". Here? nothing. Just Wanda actually making a huge mistake.

• I was feeling bad for Wanda for a bit, then I realized that she deserved all that. I read your reply to another anon about the reasons of suspicion (newly bought lingerie icks me the most cause it meant she actually made effort to look good for vision 💔). I honestly can't think of any reason (for now) why Y/N should forgive her.

• Both Y/N and Wanda badly need some time apart. Healing takes time and it won't happen anytime soon. Wanda just can't force her way to Y/N's life again cause that surely won't work.

• I don't wanna talk about the smut since I genuinely don't know what to feel about it other than Wanda doesn't deserve a single ounce of affection from us 😏 lol

It took some time for me to actually have some thoughts about part 6. My mind was like "I need at least 2-3 business days to recover from this" 😆. Once again, thank you for being so talented and blessing us with this beautiful fic. I'm a huge angst enthusiast so pls keep it coming. Hope you're feeling much better now btw. All my love 💕

- 🦄

~ I did kinda thought if I should've broken it down in two, but I just couldn't find where to cut it right. anyway, after 6, we're gonna go back to the usual length :D nah, you dont have to worry about sending me paragraphs, i was looking forward to what you 🦄 had to say

~ it's one of her worst word vomits throughout these series, i admit

~ The arbitrary nature of cheating is very much real. especially when you've been so used to the comfort and security someone provides, and you don't think it's possible to lose them when you do something stupid.

~ re: lingerie: when i wrote in flames, i wrote it as an AU from a film called unfaithful, starring richard gere and diane lane. im not sure if any of you guys saw that film, but it stayed in my parents cd shelf and was off limits. i only watched it recently as an adult lol. most of the details in in Flames were faithful to this material, i recommend you see it. the lingerie isn't because of Vision. it's about her embracing her own lust, because she got addicted to the feeling of being wanted

~ correct. they need it. something's gonna happen that's gonna force that.

~ the smut was uncomfortable to write, because im a romantic who always associate it with love and emotions and all that cheesy stuff. id pay someone to write it for me if i could. but it was necessary to the story because it showed the actual depth of R's trauma, manifesting just now.

I am feeling much better :) I saw your message like 2 hours ago, but i needed to complete a 10km run :D

Thank you so much, my dear 🦄. Please take care!

[greengoblinswifey]

Hii! Idk if you take requests or not but could you write something about Eddie being sad and down and fem reader sings him “Eddie My Love” by The Chordettes and it makes him happy

thank you for requesting this. im so glad i found this song, it's so beautiful!

Eddie Munson x Reader

Warnings: S4 Vol 1 spoilers, Kinda angst, just your usual mentions of murder and death, Fluff.

The past few days had been the most intense, insane and confusing of your life. You could only imagine how your boyfriend was feeling. He witnessed death and the supernatural first hand and now, he was being accused of murder, in hiding and was wanted by the police.

You just started dating and no one would suspect him to be staying at your house on the outskirts of town and with your parents at your Nana's. It was perfect hiding him there.

The beans you prepared for him on the stove were ready and so you headed up to your room to give him.

"Hey baby, you alright?" you inquired, setting down the plate on the nightstand.

"I don't know. These past days have just been...you know," he shrugged.

"Well, c'mon, talk to me. About anything."

"The way you looked at me after the news. You looked, scared. Like you didn't know me," he sighed.

"Sweetheart, I wasn't scared because I never believed you were capable of killing that poor girl. I was scared of what was going to happen to you. I'm still scared of what's going to happen if our friends don't figure shit out," you said, sitting beside him on your bed.

You took your hand in his and cupped his cheek. "Now stop being all sulky and sad! I'm gonna sing for you," you smiled.

A few days before, you bought a compact disk with the song "Eddie My Love" by The Chordettes. You fell in love with it the moment you listened you knew Eddie would love it too. You placed the disk into the CD player and pressed play.

Eddie my love, I love you so

Eddie my love, I love you so

Eddie my love, I love you so

You sang along and took Eddie's hands in yours, pulling him up to slow dance.

"How I've waited for you you'll never know, please Eddie, don't make me wait to long, Eddie Eddie I love you so, Eddie please write me one line, tell me your love is still only mine, please Eddie don't make me wait too long," you sang at the top of our lungs.

You left me last September to return to me before long

But all I do is cry myself to sleep, Eddie since you've been gone

He spun you around then dipped you as his mood shifted.

"Eddie my love I'm sick in bed, the very next day might be my last, please Eddie don't make me wait too long," you sang, your foreheads touching.

Oh Eddie Eddie I love you so

Eddie my love

Oh Eddie Eddie I love you so

Eddie my love, I love you so

He wrapped his arms around you, your head on his chest as you swayed slowly and the song came to an end.

"Not my kind of music but it's a beautiful song. You're a great singer princess," he smiled.

You hadn't seen him smile in days and finally, his beautiful smile was back.

"Thank you my love, now dig in before your beans get cold," you smiled back, giving him a peck on the lips and taking up his plate.

[rachelminetti]

september 2021 music!

it’s september 2022, i dug through the archives to post this before i type up this year’s september playlist. a lot has stayed the same, 2021 set the tone for the next few septembers, it seems.

everything is less intense, more settled in. great month of music for me, a lot of stereolab, autocollants, and homelife. very gentle, not necessarily subtle. i'm fully engulfed in this subgenre of twee - anything that's soft, a little dreamy, blue-tinted and slightly sedative. maybe this is rooted in nostalgia, for a time i only vaguely remember, yet crave without means to an end.

i know it's 7 days into october, but my music hasn't shifted quite yet and i put too much effort into these playlists to leave them without an audience. but first i'll list some of my favorite songs from last month, songs that still haven't been worn out, some that might make it into a favorites playlist. and then i will get into the smaller playlists i made to keep things organized, group genres/moods together, force a little cohesion into the mix. (i obviously did not get around to this. the playlists are made though! and can be found here: i learned a lot of good things this afternoon, still here?, too fast?, watch your step!, brain replaced by something, supreme nothing)

songs!

op hop detonation - stereolab

cobra and phases group play voltage in the milky night... // 1999

there is not a bad stereolab song. they are a group of utter consistency, everything just works, hits where it needs to. this song works well on a loop, like going down a factory line. maybe playing in an orange monochrome suburban bathroom that hasn't been updated since the 70s, maybe taking a moped down a twisting side street.

afterglow - pine*am

pull the rabbit ears // 2005

this song/album brought me to a days long deep dive into discogs and rateyourmusic, mostly while sitting up at the reference desk at the library, copy and pasting links into an email i'd send to myself at the end of the hour. it introduced me to picopop, shibuya-kei, brought me further onto this side of twee pop. this song feels like something, unnamed. the theremin (probably, maybe) is haunting, clear. i'll probably try to find a used CD sometime soon.

nothing at all - the autocollants

why couldn't things just stay the same // 1999

this album has given me so much, i could listen to it everyday, every drive to and from work. this isn't a stationary song, it's very much in motion, i must be going somewhere, moving along somehow. i'm sad about nothing at all.

on a rampant multi-tab google search at the circ desk at the library, i found a website that i will most definitely spend countless hours on in the future, TweeNet. a goddamn dream come true. this makes me want to plan another radio show, bless the columbia airwaves with this eternal tenderness.

est - greenscreen

greenscreen // 2019

can't find anything about this band/musician/group/whatever. kind of reminds me of boothe's gentle absurdity (though they're album is no longer available in my country? i miss eggs are 0's) (2022 update: bought the mp3 on bandcamp, all is well). this song is mesmerizing, a little hypnotizing, a little bit cryptic. definitely mysterious, but i'll keep it that way. i learned a lot of good things this afternoon.

one we kiss - jenny mae

there's a bar around the corner...assholes // 1995

god i love this song. maybe i was a college radio dj in the 90s in some alternate timeline or something. this just sounds like wusc on any given tuesday, tucked into the mundane.

east side glory - marnie stern

the chronicles of marnia // 2013

looking forward to continuing to gradually make my way through marnie stern's discography, though i'm saddened that this was her final album (for now maybe?).

[x0401x]

Jeweler Richard Fanbook Short Story #26

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Opera-phile

I had a hobby that I couldn’t tell anyone about. People like me were no rare breed.

Amongst the hobbies I had heard about from my friends until now, the one that made me think “this might be a bit hard to tell someone” the most was that keeping ice cream lids when they finished eating it. They said they would write down the date on each lid and store them in one of those clear files sold at 100-yen shops. They could only eat ice cream on special days when they were little, and they still couldn’t get over the habit of that time. The face of the person who had told me about this seemed simply satisfied in some way. Regardless, this may not have been something so difficult to say because it was revealed at a drinking party.

Now. Bringing the topic back to me.

If you were living alone in a foreign land called Sri Lanka, you could do whatever you wanted. I could get up at any time, eat whatever I felt like, study the things I enjoyed and go wherever I wanted with my Three-Wheeler. I didn’t have much, but the prices were cheap. My culinary repertoire was also noticeably increasing. Even if I danced alone in my room, no one would be watching. No, my dear dog ​​Jirou would stare at me with a bit of a strange look, but there were times when he’d eventually jump up and down and start dancing with me. Even if I listened to music at a loud volume, the same went for my neighbors.

Therefore, I was now thinking that maybe my stopper had come off a little.

I had bought the CD in Colombo, the real capital of Sri Lanka. As one would expect of the biggest shop in the country, they sold a lot of things that were unlikely to be available in Kandy.

The jacket featured a black-haired woman with a spellbound face, both of her arms outstretched. It was an opera CD with twelve songs.

I went back and forth in my room, shouting, “ah~, ah~”. What an opera was? No, I did know. It was traditional singing style – something like a musical, in which singers such as tenor, paritone, soprano and alto would perform along with a play. But something about them that diverged a bit from musicals was that the words used were old, the melodies weren’t excitable, and they were mainly either Italian or French, I believed.

I had no choice but admit it at this point. I liked opera.

Nakata Seigi had the words “I’m in love with opera” floating about in his head. I was driven by an urge to scream “gyaaah” and make said words disappear, but on the CD jacket, Maria Callas was making a spellbound face as usual, and that made me happy. I had purchased this CD after much hesitation over buying this or buying that. There was no way I wouldn’t be happy about it. Still...

Somewhere in my head, I recognized this as something embarrassing.

My dear boss was always telling me to think rationally at such times. He told me that whenever I thought my mind was moving in absurd ways, it always happened that there was some sort of timid development in me, which I either hadn’t noticed or, even if I did notice it, I’d ignore it – but once I understood it, it would stop being absurd.

Why would opera be embarrassing in the first place?

How I had come to like opera? The trigger was the radio. When I was staying at a hotel for a while back in Tokyo, I tended to feel down because I had nothing to do other than study, so I’d sometimes listen to the radio broadcast at the hotel while devoting myself to physics and English.

The singing voice I heard at that time was – how should I put it? – tremendously wonderful.

I couldn’t think that it was the voice of someone from the same world as myself. Someone was singing in a place just a few ways away, and as I listened to it, my body felt like my body was airily floating up – it was that kind of voice. I didn’t have any preferences for either male or female, and if anything, I liked both. The title of the song being streamed was written in the hotel’s guidebook, so I went to a video streaming site and searched for the same song by other singers and the songs that came before and after said piece. Faust. Madama Butterfly. Otello. Rigoletto. The Magic Flute. Don Giovanni. Whenever an opera song was used on a TV show, i became able to at least tell which prelude it was from.

And this passion hadn’t cooled down even now that some time had passed since then.

I walked around the room again, shouting, “Uuuh, uuuh”. Jirou energetically followed me from behind. It was almost as if he meant to say, “It’s fun to go a stroll even inside a room, huh, owner?”. Sorry but it’s not like I’m taking you on a walk, I thought, yet Jirou couldn’t care less, letting out a sweet voice as I held him up and rocked him, and then running off to the yard as if he had gotten excited. Just as I felt relieved, thinking about what a cute fella he was, I found myself imagining something. I could see myself at the drinking party, talking about how I liked opera. The reaction I pictured was an explosion of laughter.

“‘Opera’, you say. What’s up with that? It’s that thing where fat people raise their voices like crazy, right? You like that? Why? No way, Nakata, didn’t you just want to have a rich people hobby just ‘cause you’ve well-off these days? Like, those that feel like you’re superior. That’s exactly what opera is. Okay, I get it, but that ain’t very interesting, so how about we change the topic?”

It gave me chills.

I wasn’t creeped out by how people might talk about my hobbies. However, it was painful to have the whole genre of opera, which had saved me back when I was put in a spot like a light reaching out from the sky, be judged by people who didn’t even know the difference between Callas and Pavarotti and not be able to defend them. I had to protect what was important to me. Or else, it would get damaged. I wasn’t referring to the long-standing form of art that had been cultivated for hundreds of years. I meant my own heart. That was painful to me.

Yeah, I was somewhat aware that this wasn’t an “embarrassment”. But I was scared.

I was low-key terrified of having people pointing their fingers at me from behind with words such as “eccentric”, “weirdo” or “pretentious” for having a preference that was different from other people’s – and something that I seriously liked, no less.

With a deep breath, I took the CD’s vinyl cover. Unlike Japanese CDs, there was none of those convenient little ears that made the cover come off when you pulled it. I slowly cut it with a pair of scissors, set it on a nostalgic stereo radio and played it while referring to the table of track numbers on the backside.

Just from the intro, I already knew who was singing and what song it was.

Maria Callas’s “Casta Diva”. It was a song from an opera called “Norma”, and the meaning of it was “chaste goddess”.

What it made me reminisce to was a seriously horrible time, when I had to prepare for my death to a certain extent. Whenever this song played in the hotel’s radio program, which repeated itself over and over, this song would connect me with paradise, telling me that I didn’t need to worry about trivial matters, so I was able to leave it all aside and relax. It was that kind of song. Without a doubt, my biggest and best saver was that beautiful jeweler, but from the sidelines, opera had definitely helped me keep my sanity.

That was amazing.

I was grateful from the bottom of my heart that this form of art, which couldn’t be classified as mainstream at all in Japan and probably overseas as well, had maintained its thread of life across the centuries. It had saved me. Would the CD sales be of any help to it? Thankfully, I had some money to spend and was probably able to buy a set of all-track CDs per month. Would that be a form of repayment of any kind? It would be great if so, I thought wholeheartedly.

“Casta Diva” wasn’t too long a piece. With a voice that sounded like it was vanishing, the song ended. For whatever reason, it made me feel like crying, no matter how many times I had listened to it. It was too beautiful. It was an impossible speculation, but if Richard turned into a song, I felt that his form would change into something very close to this one.

Once I finished listening to the track, the “aaah”s and “uuuh”s had disappeared from my head. I liked opera. Opera turned into my strength. So I wanted to cherish it.

Even if someone ridiculed me for it, the problem was with the person, not with me or with opera. And my precious, beautiful shopkeeper had stated that “no discriminating other people based on their preferences” was one of the main principles of Etranger. What was I going to do by discriminating myself?

I was going to keep buying opera CDs from now on too, I swore proudly to my heart, yet secretly decided not to write about it in my blog or talk to Richard about it. Not because it was embarrassing. But rather because I had the gut feeling that I couldn’t predict what would happen in the end if I told him.

On that day, I was busy with preparations for cooking. First Saul-san, and then Richard would come to Kandy to hear the reports about the progress of my studies. It was also like a test. But I hadn’t studied half-assedly enough to chicken out at that. Above all, thanks to the negotiations in Ratnapura, I was conscious that my eyes were well-trained, if I could say so myself.

If it didn’t go well even with this, that was fine. I was happy to find new challenges. Lots of things became easier once I started feeling that studying was fun.

And since they were coming over, they wouldn’t get angry if I prepared a bit of a feast. More than anything, being able to cook a few people’s share in this house had me overjoyed. After all, I was basically living alone, so just how many times had I found delicious-looking and cheap food but had to tearfully give up because I wasn’t sure if I could eat it all by myself?

Being surrounded by things that made you happy was extremely good for the heart.

Deciding to go for an additional blow, I set the CD in the radio. A long aria began at the end of the first opus of all songs. It was a French opera called “La Fille du Régiment”, and being fond of this one had greatly helped me when I was studying French.

The man who started to sing that he was going to marry the army was a world-renowned tenor.

In the beginning, the man sang that he was going to do meritorious deeds in the army, cheered on by his companions. Since I had been listening to the words ever since back when I could only hear them as katakana spelling, my mouth moved without any reference. Of course, my voice didn’t sound like that of a tenor, but it had the same gist as somehow trying to sing in the range of a singer from some music show. Just that was fun enough.

A fish pie was baking in the oven. There were three types of curry in the smaller pots. My Nakata-style sliced veggies pickled in soy sauce, which were a mixture of chopped coconut sambal and dried fruits, were lined up on a cutting board, and the fresh fruits that I planned to make into mixed juice were all completely ready. The only thing I had left to do was preparing watalappan for dessert. It had to chill in the fridge for a while, so it was necessary to make it in advance. However, since it was my third time making it, I had the procedure memorized. No worries.

The tenor raised his voice amidst joy. The man who sang, “Ah, I’m going, I’m going to marry the army” didn’t like the army in particular, he was just in love with the abandoned girl that all the men from the regiment he was enlisted in were raising together.

The key switched to waltz. The true value of the tenor would ensue from that point onward.

The oven beeped, indicating that the pie had finished baking. With light steps, put on my gloves, took out the whole iron plate with the pie on it and gently slid it into a white porcelain plate.

A series of splendid high Cs. This referred to when the tenor raised their voice a great deal. If the composer was wonderful in reproducing the feelings of happiness into the music so keenly, then so was the singer who sang them so faithfully, I believed. The feeling of excitement turned into the melody just the way it was.

I arranged the dishes on the table and peeled the fruits. The high Cs continued one after another. I opened a can of coconut milk and mixed the contents with nut paste. The song was approaching the end. “What a fate, what a fate,” he sang, sounding merry. The highest note was near.

The song was coming to a close while celebrating happiness with the highest note. The feelings of the singer weren’t recorded in the CD, but I could hear them as comfortably as could be.

It wasn’t nearly high enough, but I sang along at a fairly loud volume.

At the same time as the song finished with a flashy grace note, I lightly kicked the open lid of the oven. It closed up neatly. With this, everything was all set. I was going to put away the CD set before the guests arrived.

Or so I had planned.

After the peak of my excitement, I noticed that someone was standing outside the window. He hadn’t come in from the front door. Hence the chime didn’t ring.

“Bravo, bravissimo.” A beautiful man wearing a white shirt and sunglasses, said glasses charmingly pushed up above his forehead, was smiling while applauding at my stiffened self.

The test was terrible that day. I didn’t think there was any issue with the contents of my answers. However, since I was stuttering so much, Saul, my mentor who was so picky about manner of speech as well as the contents of it, pointed out that I should “act more dignified”. I knew that better than anyone. There was too much noise interference in my head with things such as, “Why did I put opera on in such high spirits? What did he think of me now? As I thought, does he think that this hobby doesn’t suit me? No, that’s definitely impossible when it comes to my teacher, so I have to take control of my self-consciousness”.

And so, this is a story that happened more than half a year after that. Something that took place in Sri Lanka in May.

“Eh?”

“Happy birthday, Seigi. Here is a little present.”

“A bank deposit transfer certificate?”

“Good job reading it. That is from the USA.”

“USA...”

“There was a seat that you would probably like, so I purchased a year’s worth of it.”

“A year”? This wasn’t potato chips or cup noodles. What kind of seat was that? Was there a truck coming to deliver it? While thinking about such things, I continued reading the A4 paper, and when I got to half of it, I roared loudly. I let out a voice that sounded like a crushed frog, I believed.

The seat that Richard had given me was indeed a seat. But at a music theatre in America, which was likely the world’s most famous. It was a one-year membership card.

This was proof that “a seat will be reserved for you”. A seat just for me, for any performance, that I could use whenever I went there.

I felt lightheaded. Just how much had this “seat” cost him? What was he trying to do by giving something like this to someone who sat in swivel chairs sold at mass retailers? I did have such rational retorts in my head, but above that, I was so, so happy that I started jumping up and down. I could go to a theatre that I only knew about from CDs. Anytime, as long as I had the plane tickets. No matter who was singing.

“Can I really have this?!”

“Do you think I’m some sort of boorish lad who’d take back the treasure after making the other person happy?”

“No way! Uoooh, I’m too excited; that’s bad!”

“You are reacting like a dog again...”

“I’m gonna run in the yard for a bit!”

As I, with a messy katakana pronunciation, sang to myself the chorus part of the aria that had just finished while rolling around in the yard, Jirou ran over and mounted on me without restraint. “Owner, we’re going to play here, right? We’re going to play here, right? Come, let’s play,” he seemed to say, energetically wagging his tail. I was so happy that I hugged him and rolled about, but then I could see Richard laughing. The yard was on a slightly lower level than the house, so the house was wholly visible, so I didn’t think I was mistaken. He really was making a happy-looking face. This might have been my first time seeing that man laugh with such a child-like expression.

At that moment, something suddenly came to mind.

When Richard told me for the first time that he “likes pudding”, did he also think for a bit that it was embarrassing or wonder about what I was going to say? This man had thorough knowledge about the so-called “society”. There was no way that he hadn’t considered the possibility.

But he had told me about it.

Did I not say anything weird to him back then? “A man, liking pudding?” or “Why would a foreigner like a Japanese dessert?” It gave me the creeps. Back then, I didn’t have as much care as now regarding how to handle such circumstances. I just had words jumping out of my mouth like knives. This still applies even now, but I wanted to think it had gotten better, even if just a little.

Had I not said anything to him? Had I not hurt him? I didn’t have any way to confirm that now. If I apologized without knowing what I had said, it wouldn’t be a sincere apology.

But right now, Richard was looking at my happy self and smiling.

So I decided to stop thinking about these things. And from now on too, I would keep making heaps upon heaps of the things he liked.

I had to protect what was important to me by myself. But if I happened to notice something that mattered to someone who was dear to me, I wanted to cherish it too. I had no other choice.

After stroking Jirou, I went back to where Richard was and bowed to him again. He reciprocated the bow with a “you are welcome” and seemed about to start laughing again.

“That’s right, I was gonna make pudding. Wait just a bit more.”

“Is there anything I can help with?”

“You already got me a seat at the MET; I can’t go along with that flattery even as a joke. I’d be happy if you played with Jirou, though.”

“Then, I will take you up on those words.”

Rubbing my chest in relief, I went back to my room, patting my whole body to remove the dirt and dog hairs, and after washing my hands with soap, I returned to the kitchen.

By the looks of it, I was going to be able to listen to an opera in person one of these days – at least within a year’s time. Once I watched it live, all the curtains would close, right? For real? Was such a thing possible? Apparently yes. Hard to believe but it was true.

That man who was like an incarnation of the worldwide definition of “beauty”, and above that, who was a genius at pleasing me, was fooling around with my hybrid brown dog in the yard, illuminated by tropical sunshine. It seemed that the preparations for our feast would still take a while.

“What a wonderful day,” I hummed tentatively in French. A gorgeous tenor voice wouldn’t come out of my throat, but the things I liked would firmly support my heart nevertheless. Almost like a backbone for it. And there was someone supporting this backbone. Honestly, what a wonderful day. For now, I’d be making pudding. And share at least a little bit of this feeling.

[maonuis]

[ENG TL] Oogami Koga - Idol Story 3

Proofreader: 310mc and Fiore

Original Writer: 木野誠太郎 (Kino Seitarou)

Season: Summer

Koga: (Hell yeah! I knew I’d get lucky if I went to the CD store after school… I finally got my hands on the new album ♪)

(Big shots from overseas only release albums once every ten years or so.)

(As a fan, nah, as a lover of rock music, I've been waiting for a new release for years!)

(Aaah, I’m gonna kiss this album! Thank you for letting me hear such awesome rock music!)

(Thanks for continuing to make music...♪)

Yuuta: Oh? Oogami-senpai, is that you? What a coincidence~

Koga: Awoogh?!

Yuuta: Whoa there. I’m not a ghost, so please don’t jump like you just saw one.

Koga: Tsk… It’s just Yuuta. You almost gave me a heart attack…

Don’t see the other one ‘round ya, did ya get into a fight or somethin’?

Yuuta: We don’t always get into arguments… We aren’t you.

Actually, didn’t I tell you about it? 2wink is a “two-in-one” unit, which means we split the work between us for everything, be it jobs or just our daily life.

Koga: Right, y’all doin’ that now.

Hinata’s been doing the sales promotions, project planning, and part time jobs… And while that’s happenin’, you get to play around and have fun with your hobbies, yeah?

You sure are cherished~ aint’cha, “Yuuta-kun”?

Yuuta: Uh, why did that sound a little passive-aggressive?

Koga: Ha. I wasn’t trynna be. You’re overthinkin’ it.

Besides, artists aren’t supposed to be involved in backstage work like that.

Ain’t being an idol about making a living thanks to the support of your fans and sponsors?

Which means that right now your hobbies are being cherished more than the job in front of you.

Yuuta: Hmm~ I think you’re right, but I didn’t expect to hear that from you.

I thought you’d tell me to quit fooling around and get back to work, you know?

Koga: Huh? Who do ya think I am? I’m the rock ‘n roller Oogami Koga.

Working to make my dreams and ambitions come true is one thing, but working for money alone ain’t my style.

Yuuta: Ooh, I get it… Yeah, you do look like you’d suck at part time jobs~♪

Well, from a social standpoint, people who work are held in higher regard, so it’s been weighing on my mind a bit.

But Aniki… Hinata-kun has been telling me that it’s okay to stay like this.

Koga: You don’t hafta worry. Rock’s about destroying common sense and order; that’s what makes ya look so damn cool ♪

The roaring music, the howling basses… It’s a cry of the soul that reverberates through the entire world...☆

That’s the very spirit of rock ♪

Yuuta: Erm, I’m not aiming to become a rock and roller, though...? I only ever plan to be an idol working with my twin brother.

...Truth is, I came to check the CD store as a way to pass time, ‘cause I’ve been trying to expand my music taste by checking out new genres.

Koga: Expand your music taste…?

Yuuta: Yup. Lately, people have been wanting to know my own opinion as an individual, rather than as both of us twins, and well...

That made me decide to learn more about what this world has to offer, sooo...

I’m hoping to use this as a reference for how to sell myself in the future as both an idol and 2wink’s hobbyist.

Koga: So basically, you came here to listen to the various songs in the sample corner[1]?

Yuuta: Well, yeah, something like that… ♪

I’m trying to save money as much as I can, that’s why. I didn’t feel like it’d be right of me to splurge on my interests, I guess? Especially since Aniki is out there taking part-time jobs.

Koga: Guess I got no choice, I’ll just have to lend ya the CDs I got back in my dorm room. You’ll just get bored of listenin’ to samples over and over, anyways.

And it ain’t gonna look good for you if you stick around the shop for too long, since you’re an idol and all.

You’re also part of the Light Music Club and the band circle we have at the dorms, so I think even if it’s just for general knowledge it won’t be bad to give it a chance.

Anyways, check this out. I bought a brand new baby today!

What’cha think? Ain’t this cover so cool it gives you chills?

Yuuta: No, no, you’re being too pushy. I haven’t even agreed to borrow your CDs…?

Koga: Huuuh? Ya tellin’ me you don’t wanna hear my recs~?

We’re pals from the same band, so we gotta share our taste in music, y’know?

C’mon, I’ll show ya the way to my room!

Yuuta: Uwaaah, what did I just get myself into...~? This is why all our newbies in the Light Music Club run away in fear, y’know~?

Koga: Shut yer trap. Shouldn’t you be happy that your senior is so kind?

The rock ‘n roll that I love so much might change along with the times, but its spirit is the one thing that remains untouched and crosses through generations.

If ya wanna know more about the world, you should stop being so picky with your tastes and give it a chance at least once. So take a moment to listen to the awesomest music that rocks my very soul...☆

[1] Music sample corners are a corner that can be found in some music stores in which you can hear previews of some albums using headphones. An image example: https://www.emuz.jp/imgs/music/photo1.jpg

[thepriceofbeingaroseisloneliness]

KAORU PERSONAL INTERVIEW SPECIAL HEADBANG VOL.27 TRANSLATION 2/2

The ideal figure that the guitarist who leads the band as a leader got while struggling, and the reason for his unstoppable pursuit. “Without ‘BLUE BLOOD’ I wouldn’t really be who I am now” “After all, I’ve always liked dark and hopeless stuff, that kind of things” “I’m the type of person who wants to be affected by cd jackets and lyrics” "Sometimes I can do it. A song with a very pop and bright atmosphere"

Notes before reading: This is the second part of the personal interview of Kaoru from the magazine Headbang Vol.27 released on 18th August 2020.  The interview is 11 pages long and this part covers the last 5 pages.  As Toshiya and Die’s interviews, 2nd part is focused on his roots as a guitarist.

You can get the magazine at Amazon Japan or CDJapan. Read Toshiya’s interview here Read Die’s interview here

Feel free to correct me if you spot any mistake or any confusing. Links or credits to this post when the content is reposted or captured in other SNS is appreciated :) ----- Text by: Yohsuke Hayakawa (First part here) “Without “BLUE BLOOD” I wouldn’t really be who I am now” -Then, the topic of the talk changes from here.  I would like to ask you about the story behind the 20 albums that you selected regardless of era or reasons but, you chose 10 albums from Japan and 10 foreign albums.

K: Is that true? (laughs). It's a coincidence, but it was very difficult to narrow down when it came to choose again. So, I chose mainly the ones I listened to a lot before I started the band and when I started doing it. They are just albums that influenced me. -I have the impression that Japanese music was a kids who read WeROCK’s thing. K:  Hahaha. Yes (laughs). -First of all…. COLOR's mini album "FOOLS! GET LUCKY !!" (1989) is also included. I have to ask about why you picked this one. K: Well, I really love it (laughs). Even though it was "X in the east, COLOR in the west"*, I was really into it, so I went to see their live performance. I like their punkish songs and they have many fast songs. At that time, if a song wasn’t  fast, it was a “no” for me. I also liked ROSE ROSE. *(This makes reference to X Japan being from the Kanto region (East) and COLOR being from Kansai (West) as both band emerged around the same time.) -Then D'ERLANGER. DIR EN GREY participated in D'ERLANGER's tribute (announced in 2017 ‘D'ERLANGER TRIBUTE ALBUM  ~ Stairway to Heaven~ "). Was the album "LA VIE EN ROSE" (1989) a shock for you?

K: That’s right, “LA VIE EN ROSE” too but also CIPHER (G) himself. Well, I think it was at ”BURNN! JAPAN”, CIPHER appeared in a solo photo on one page in colour.

-Oh, it’s a shot in which you can see him standing with a flashy Les Paul guitar. It was before kyo (D’ERLANGER vocalist) became a member. K: That’s right.  I though “What on earth is this person?” After that, they were releasing a CD ("LA VIE EN ROSE") , so I made a I made a reservation right away.

-Also, a band you can't miss from those times is DEAD END. It never gets old because it’s respected across generations. K: I chose "Shambara" (1988), well, it's a masterpiece. Just listening to the opening song "EMBRYO BURNING" made me sick. When I first started listening to metal music, I was a bit reluctant but with DEAD END, the melody that MORRIE sung got me very quickly, I got into them without any resistance. I didn’t have the impression that DEAD END was so-called “metal”. Since I started playing in bands, I was overwhelmed by the seriousness of YOU’s guitar technique. - Next is ZI: KILL is "ROCKET" (1993). Initially, the dark positive punk style was strong but with that last album, their musicality expanded dramatically and there are even piano jazz songs. K: It’s an album that feels like something has been reached. I got into ZI:KILL since the early albums and after making their major debut, I got the impression that their albums got milder. However, when I listened to "ROCKET", it seemed like an insanely cool album. I still listen to it. -Including a horn in their arrangements was ground-breaking. K: Yes, at first I hated it! But somehow, I didn’t care about it at all. Still, TUSK (Vo) lyrics and the songs were addictive. It made a deep impression on me, that’s why I read ZI:KILL lyrics carefully as well.

-Do you care about the lyrics when it comes to Japanese artists? K: I check the booklets properly. After all, the lyrics reach my ears at the point in which the words make you feel something.

- And, needless to say, you also chose X's "BLUE BLOOD" (1989). At the Vol. 20 of this magazine, you chose it as a “metal album that changed your life”. So, as expected, if you choose an album from X japan, would be this one? K: Without this album, I wouldn't really be who I am now.

-You were influenced by everything, both the music and the guitar play….is that so? K: The guitar too, right? Well, it’s not at that level anymore.

-Ah, that’s not the level (laughs) K: I was just listening to it earnestly and thinking “amazing!”, it just something that I like, there is no particular reason (laughs).

“Western music  (I listened to) was also greatly influenced by HIDE. That’s why everything it’s related to HIDE (laughs)”

- On the other hand, Tsuyoshi Nagabuchi and Cocco are also included. K: I've always liked Nagabuchi. Like "Tonbo" (1988), there was a tv drama about that. *(”Tonbo” (Dragonfly) was also a tv drama  in which Tsuyoshi Nagabuchi played a member of a yakuza gang  who is trapped in a violent existence.)

- Oh, after that was "Shabontama" (1991). K: I also like the movie "Orgel" (1989), I was really into Nagabuchi at that time. The "Showa" (1989) album I chose this time is the album that got me hooked. The masterpiece "Gekiai" which is my favourite song was recorded around that time.

-You liked Nagabuchi’s drama series. K: Yes, they are rather dark series. I don’t know much about the brighter/cheerful ones.

-The ones like "Family Game" (1983)? K: That's right. Those are not the ones that I prefer. After all, I’ve always liked dark and hopeless stuff, that kind of things. -(Laughs) However, the radical portrayal of Nagabuchi’s drama shocked your heart as a young boy. Probably such a drama couldn’t be made in this era. K: Yes, you can’t. There isn’t even a rebroadcast of these ones.

-Certainly.  Also, I remember that Cocco was around in the scene at the same time than HIDE (g). K: Yes. When I listened to her album, it didn’t feel like I was listening to a Japanese cd. I felt like it was a western heavy band, so I got into it with that kind of image.

-I feel that foreign music, the alternative vibe is overall stronger, but do you like that? K: After all, HIDE’s influence in foreign music (I listened to) is huge. At that time, I was buying various magazines and looking for some more, I checked the names that appeared in HIDE’s articles and I’ve been listening to the ones I liked all the time.

- I have the impression that HIDE had a great influence on you listening to bands like Jane's Addiction at that time. What about Vanessa Paradis and Japan ( English new wave band)? K: That was also due to the influence of HIDE. That’s why almost everything is related to HIDE (laughs). Also, this album of hers (released in 1992, “Vanessa Paradis”) was produced by Lenny Kravitz, who liked to go to her lives.  She's still good, but I especially like her early days, I'm attracted to that voice.

“I’m the type of person who wants to be affected by cd jackets and lyrics”

- So that's it. The only work related to HIDE that you chose was with X Japan but, what about his solo works? K: Well, of course I like his solo, but in my case, I like HIDE in X Japan the most.

-Other than that, I can tell that you like strong sounds, heavy riffs and industrial. K: That’s right. As I was always seeking fierce things, I came to like strong riffs such as Pantera and Ministry.

-What about the so-called European German metal? K: Especially at that time, it wasn’t my cup of tea (laughs) - Then, some of the foreign music you chose…. "Psalm 69: The Way To Succeed And The Way To Suck Eggs" (1992) by Ministry. This album was already mentioned in this magazine before as an important metal album for you. K:  At that time, there was a foreign-related CD shop called WAVE at  Umeda Loft in Osaka. I think that I found it there and listened to it. I was like “what the hell?”, so I bought it right away. I listened to it at home again. That night I went to a acquaintance’s house and I said “Listen to this!”, and I forced him to listen (laughs). -I can tell your excitement (laughs) K: Then I listened to all the other albums. Above all, I like this one the most.  -And you also mentioned Nine Inch Nails. K: The first thing I heard from them was a single or something. At that time, I thought, "Wow, that's amazing," but when I listened to the songs on that album, I felt like I was listening to something I had never heard before. It's dark, but it sounds very aggressive. But it’s not like european music dark feeling.At that time, I wasn't sure if  they were a band or not (laughs).  -You wondered if it was a one-person band. K: That’s right. I was like “Is the same person doing everything?”, “Is he playing drums too?”. Everything was a mystery. Information was not available as soon as it does now, so I was wondering “Who is this person?”. I also wondered if the cd jacket had something to grasp, like it was a cd jacket that I didn’t really understand. Like the logo. It was all mysterious and addictive. I myself am the type who wants to be influenced/affected by cd jackets and lyrics, so I look at every corner. Everything up to the back of the wrapping. Then, when I looked at the back, I thought, "Isn't there anything attached?" (Laughs).  -(Laughs)There are many things that are totally attractive, including elaborate art books.  K: Yes. Especially for Nine Inch Nails, I went looking for some place that sell T-shirts of them.  "Sometimes I can do it. A song with a very pop and bright atmosphere"  -Among these works, isn't there any in particular that has an easy-to-understand influence on the songs that you make with DIR EN GREY? K: Well, I don't know that .  - Some of the works you chose this time have a strong melody…. For example, on a 2017 tour focused in “MACABRE" (2000), you played “Taijou no ao” for the first time in a while. I mentioned in this magazine before that "If you change the arrangement of a song to your current style, you can still play it ", but is there a desire to make a song with that kind of melody now? K: I don’t have a particular desire to do it. I think that it feels like something from that time, it’s an image that doesn’t make me feel excited now.  -By the way, do you usually listen to music with melodies like that? K: I do, I do.  Rather, I’ve been listening to pop music all the time lately.  I am not listening noisy bands at all.  -Noisy ones (laughs). K: Hahaha. -However, it's a little hard to think that you are going to make songs like that. K: Yeah, it doesn't happen very often sometimes, but there are times when I can do it. A song with a very pop and bright atmosphere. So, when I tried to start to work on songs, one turns out like “this is what I have done”. But maybe then I think that it’s a little different from what I do with DIR EN GREY, so I have to mess with it, fix it or just store it. - Eh! Do you make that kind of songs? I would like to hear a song like that from you now. That’s why the melody of “Taijou no Ao” that I mentioned as an example is not only pop but also suffocating. Faintly scented lyrics. I wonder if that it’s your true self. K: That's right.The first thing that influenced me was  the New Wave*. Pet Shop Boys and so, I liked that kinds of thing. That’s why there is a bit of that “kind of atmosphere” sometimes. It's not just pop. *(New wave is a broad music genre that encompasses numerous pop-oriented styles from the late 1970s and the 1980s) -There is also a sorrowful side. K: So, if I had to pick one, Europe is better in that than America. Well, when it comes to the songs I make, I’d like to make them more interesting, but I don’t feel like doing something that is off the point/wrong.  -I have to ask you about the melody part now. K: If you have any concerns, I will answer them…  - What if there is something clear for you like, “this song has this kind of image”? K: After that, Kyo has several ways to sing so I will combine them in my own way and propose new melodies. Like “I think in this way would be cool”.   -Oh, that’s how you do it. In any case, now I'm looking forward to the day when I can listen to a new song again. Will the album be completed in 2021? K: That's right.  -By the way, Kaoru-san's hard disk has already material for the new album…. K: Well, there's something for the album……there is, but it’s still not the whole thing at all (laughs).

[llamamania-13]

A pride month special :]

My coming out story

This is gonna be traumatic, triggers ahead!

°°°°°°°°°°°°°

I had tried to come out way earlier than the day I finally did. They always said I was just confused, experimenting, seeking attention, looking to surprise people, make a scene, so eventually I just stopped trying. I tried to be what they wanted me to be but it just felt wrong, my potential to be the best me was being restrained and I was dying from the inside.

I just wanted to scream like a baby and tell the whole world what I was and that I knew exactly who I'm becoming... But I never did, the fear of being rejected like many times before was always lurking in the back of my mind and I just began to stop feeling for anyone. 

It was in the fifth grade when I found myself. I had many friends of all genders and yes, I crushed on the boys, but when I started falling for my female friends and dreaming of them at night. I grew scared because it wasn't a very Christian thing to do. I distanced myself burying my true feelings, hoping that things would go back to normal and as I got older I became more desperate to stop those feelings. 

Sixth grade I began having serious suicidal thoughts. I slept more often and stopped enjoying the things I used to, like reading or just learning in general. I identified myself as Bisexual from there on. 

In April of 2018 on spring break at my aunt's is when I took my first leap into action. I found a box cutter and was feeling particularly sad and took the knife to my upper arm, a place I could hide it easily and made 5 long and deep cuts. It was relieving, one cut for every girl I ever thought about as more than friends.

I got thrown into therapy when my adopted parents found out. I couldn't tell them why I actually started doing what I did because they're both born in the 40s and are very traditional people to put it nicely, so I just let them believe it was for attention. I didn't trust the therapist because it seemed like everything we ever talked about, my mother knew about it too. 

The first time I came out was to my adopted mother at a restaurant. We were in the car waiting for my father and I told her I might like girls the same as boys. She laughed and that was it, I wasn't allowed to have any female friends over for sleepovers for months.

The second time was by accident. I was no longer identifying as bisexual but now as Pansexual, since the 7th grade when I first found out what it was.

We were at a giant flea market called Packwood for memorial day 2019. We went with my older sister and her husband, my younger brother, and the parents. One of the booths was selling flags for fifteen dollars but I only had 2 left because I had been buying CDs for my collection. My younger brother knew how much my pride meant to me and bought me the Pansexual flag even though I said he really didn't have to. We went back to the truck and I thought I was hiding it well but I guess not good enough because my sister pointed it out. I got scared and said, "it's just a silly flag." But they insisted that there was a meaning I grew irritated and annoyed blurting out, "I'M GAY OKAY!" and then there was an argument it hurt listening to the woman who adopted me say in front of the rest of my family that I was just confused and trying to make sense of the world saying I couldn't identify myself that way because I had never dated someone before (Like sorry mom for being an introverted teen who barely talks and is repelled to the idea of being with anyone who isn't fictional, ya know trust issues exist right?). So I stormed off. I could've gotten away with saying it was the Romanian flag because I was learning to speak Romanian at the time, my gay pride got the best of me.  I gave up believing in Christ that day because if I had to choose between love and faith, love will always win my hopelessly romantic heart.

We let it drop for a while now, I went on a trip with my Father (he's a truck driver) and I asked him in un-obvious questions like what he'd do if my brother was gay (he is bi-curious if you're wondering). He basically said he wouldn't love him and then switched the subject to boats. 

February 14, 2022, I came out again. My other aunt and her granddaughter came over for dinner and we were talking about the state of the world today. My brother mentioned something about our father being prejudiced against the LGBTQ+ community (complains every time he sees a same sex couple kissing in a movie or tv show) and then my aunt started to stick up for it. My mother happened to mention that my brother and I both identified as part of the community and my aunt immediately started calling me a lesbian, not even bothering to ask if that was right. I told her I was Pansexual and tried to explain it but all three of them my aunt, my father, and my mother didn't understand and kept twisting my words making me frustrated to the point I gave up explaining. I ignored them for the rest of the time but my brother was spying. The adults got onto their phones (except my father, he was entertaining the granddaughter) and started to research. 

The searching went as far as how to stop someone from being pansexual and I just began to write this feeling the need to tell someone, anyone how I felt.

I'll be 18 this year and free to make my own choices. I'm not ready to stop loving these people I call my family, maybe one day they'll accept me before they return to heaven. I'm not seeking pity or sympathy, I just need to know someone is out there willing to listen to my story. Thank you!

Sincerely,

Llama <3

[you-did-well-moon]

Werewolf!Hongjoong  meeting his mate

Type: werewolf au, all heart melting fluff

Pairing: Werewolf!Hongjoong x Human!Reader

Word count: 2,005

A/n: My first Ateez post, hello Atiny welcome to my blog!! This wasn’t a request I got here, but I got it from my friend and I’ve been wanting to write a werewolf au for some time now so yayy. You can all thank my lovely Luna for this, and excuse my horrible photoshopping skils.  Don’t be afraid to talk to me and enjoy. 

Song: Peter Pan - Exo

TW: None

Hongjoong sighed, his feet dragging along the concrete of the sidewalk as his tired form walked sluggishly through the small town. He was exhausted. Being the alpha of seven rowdy and slightly clumsy werewolves was no easy feat. They managed to get in a lot more trouble than the normal amount. Just last week he had to stop Mingi from walking straight into a werewolf hunter camp because Wooyoung bet him nachos he wouldn’t do it.

Hongjoon tiredly exhaled rubbing at his bleary eyes as he made his way to the music store across the street from the quaint little cafe called Light Illusion. After such a long time of coming to the store on a regular basis, the kind old man who owned the store  greeted Hongjoong by name asking how he had been with a bright smile, the corners of his eyes wrinkling with laugh lines. Hongjoong responded with a polite smile and a slight bow of his head. 

He fixed his hat already feeling some of the weight ease off of his chest as his eyes raked over the variety of CDs and albums lining the store aisles. Music was everything to him, his safe place.A comfort in a hectic and lamentable life. A source of happiness sprouting in the confines of his chest making him forget of the seedlings of suffering on the edges of his mind. 

The owner came up to him with sparkling eyes, quivering hand offering him a CD. Hongjoong looked at it and furrowed his eyebrows, looking at the older man with questioning eyes. 

“Classical?” He questioned, doubt evident in his tone. Sure, Hongjoong had listened to right about everything, but he never took himself as a classical kind of guy. He hesitated before taking the case and turning it this way and that, examining it with an uncertain kind of wonder. He was met with a knowing chuckle, “You never know kid, life can hit you in all kinds of unexpected ways. Give it a try, maybe it can end up becoming a nice memory.”

Hongjoong shook his head confused at the slight tilt of the shop owner’s lips before shrugging and digging in his pocket for money, but he was stopped by the old man’s waving of hands. “Don’t worry son, it’s on the house. You don’t look so good, maybe this will cheer you up. Hey, why don’t you treat yourself some? The cafe across the street has some pretty sick blueberry muffins.”

Hongjoong sincerely thanked the shop owner, putting the CD case into his pocket carefully making sure it wouldn’t fall out. He exited the shop being met with a fresh breeze, eyes falling on the cafe across the street feeling like it was suddenly easier to breathe. He truly thought he must be crazy as he looked both ways and started crossing the street, one destination in mind. He entered, the calm environment providing him with comfort in a place he has never been before.

The walls were made of murals, bookshelves covering the wall to the far right, and star-shaped lights hanging from the ceiling. Hongjoong studied the menu then made his way to the counter, softly stating his order and paying being told his order would be out shortly and to sit anywhere by an energetic cashier. 

A table placed close to the bookshelves against a wall with a star dotted mural, surprisingly not feeling awkward or anxious in such a foreign place. There weren't  many people, the few that were present busy typing away in their laptops or reading a book, caught up in both the struggles and luxuries of life.

Hongjoong was bought out of his stupor when the light sound of applause rang around the room. He abruptly sat up in his seat realizing the soft sound of a piano was not coming from the cafe speakers. The hunched figure sat on a piano bench, fingers flexing from the strain of playing for so long didn’t look up at the appreciative clapping, head bent as her hands traveled back to the keys. He felt his skin tingle and heat up as an intense and strange force began pulling him to you feeling as if time itself was slowing down.

You had to stop yourself from glancing around the room when you heard people clapping for you. You were too shy, afraid of messing up if you looked up from the keys. You had played the piano since you were a child, but you stopped when life became too busy for you to keep up with everything. College was expensive, and when the cafe a few blocks from your campus offered a job for a pianist, you took it. 

Even after weeks playing in the same cafe,you were still too bashful to look at the faces of your audience. A stare was directed at you making a searing heat erupt in the back of your neck, and you tried distracting yourself by looking at the request sheet where people wrote down the songs they would like you to play. A gentle smile tugged at your lips when you saw the next song was a love song.

You cleared your throat taking a sip of water, and you brought your shaky hands back to the keys playing the starting notes. Your fingers pressed gently on the smooth expanse of the keys as you still did not lift your gaze, nervous of who was looking at you in such a focused manner to be able to send shivers down the length of your spine. 

You felt the odd urge to look up, but you held firm keeping your eyes solely on the black and white keys of the piano. 

A soft smile tugged at your lips at the sweet lyrics, and because you got distracted by the lovely words, you gave in to the temptation of looking up.

“The one person who made my heart pound. As soon as I felt you, my eyes shone”

 A powerful and strong wave of shock coursed through you as you met a pair of wide warm eyes holding the same amount of surprise as you. Even when you made eye contact and his shone in a golden hue, you couldn’t look away while you continued singing the love song. You weren’t scared, if anything, you felt safe.

Hongjoong almost fell out of his chair when you looked up instantly meeting his eyes. He felt like the wind had gotten knocked out of him having to press his lips tightly together to stop the whine surging up his chest from spilling out his trembling lips.

His knuckles turned white from gripping the edge of the table having to control himself from standing up and plopping himself next to you on the small piano bench. He had always been a bit hesitant about mates. He was an alpha, and had so much to do on a daily basis.

But that all flew out the window when he saw you, your pretty lips quirked up in a small delicate smile that made his heart pound with words of adoration ringing around the small room as you didn’t look away. Your soft beautiful eyes captivating him in the most intoxicating manner. Hongjoong found himself not being able to focus on anything but you in the moment, and even if his duty as an alpha weighed down on him, he knew he would be okay if he had you by his side. 

The last notes of the song broke you out of your trance, making you look down as your pinky bent down to pressing on the key with the last note traveling through the room. The customers momentarily breaking away from what they were doing to elapse into a soft round of applause that made your shoulders shrug up bashfully. Your eyes flickered to the clock realizing it was time for your break as you flexed your fingers licking your lower lip and scrunching your nose at the dry feeling. You were further assured of your break as Irene’s small hands placed a muffin with a coffee on the little table you had a foot away to the left of the piano. You smiled up at her thanking her, but she simply raised an eyebrow and winked at you, her eyes flickering behind you before she left with a snicker. 

You were confused at her weirder than normal behavior only for your heart to lurch in your chest when you felt a presence behind you. Whirling around you were met with the boy you had made intense eye contact with while playing the last game, except there was no gold in the warm brown that colored his irises. Far away he had been beautiful, and up close he was just as breathtaking. 

A kind face that ended in a sharp rounded chin with a cute rounded nose, and soft strands of silver hair peeking out from the beret adorning his head. The corners of his lips were slightly tilted up in a nervous smile, twitching as if wanting to break out in a bigger smile. His eyes an odd but endearing combination of authority and playfulness. Even being strangers, you felt an undeniable attraction towards him. 

If you thought he was breathtaking, Hongjoong felt like he literally couldn’t breathe right now being this close to you. Even your chapped lips and tired eyes couldn’t do anything in his conclusion that you were absolutely gorgeous. He had never had to control himself to his extent, not when his pack endlessly got on his nerves, right now his hands were itching to reach out and feel you. His wolf racking up a storm making it all the more hard to control himself. 

He laughed nervously, shaking his head. “May i sit here?” 

You couldn’t help the smile that overtook your face at the high pitched but calming voice that was his. You don’t know what made you abandon your usual shy demeanor scooting over on the small bench to make space with him. “Go ahead, I don’t mind”.

Hongjoong shakily exhaled trying to calm the heat in his face at the sound of your voice, and the feeling of your thighs pressed together. Any worries that had been weighing down at him were forgotten at the comforting scent of your strawberry shampoo. 

He turned towards you offering his hand in greeting, “I’m sorry for coming up to you so suddenly and not even introducing myself, I just had to tell you good you are with the piano. I’m Hongjoong '' You giggled quick to wave his worries away by taking his hand, his wolf practically howling in joy at the grin on your face in response to his well-deserved praise.

“It’s alright, but it’s really just a way of making money” You tried shaking off his compliment, and he was having none of it playfully scoffing. He gently bumped his shoulder against yours heart aching when he had to let go of your hand, so he didn’t make you uncomfortable. 

“You have to be kidding, you’re a natural” You bumped his shoulder back eyes twinkling with mischievously, “You flatter me too much, I might actually just join the orchestra” 

His chest filled with warmth at the playful banter between you, heart practically jumping up his throat when you gasped and took a hold of his arm. “Is that Piazzolla: Libertango by Alison Balsom?” His eyes flickered to the case in his pocket taking it out and showing it to you. 

“You like it?” You looked at him, eyes crinkling with awe making his smile grow wider. 

“Like it? I love it. You my good sir, have amazing taste” You excitedly bounced in your seat brightly smiling at him. Hongjoong tried shaking his head  “I d-don't-”  He cut himself off at the sight of your shining eyes and big grin making him swallow harshly at the effect you already had on him. 

Maybe classical music wasn’t all that bad.

[gallaghersgal]

Songbird c2: Honey Hi || Frankie Morales

Pairing: Frankie Morales × gn!reader

Summary: A couple weeks after first meeting the kind bartender with the warm brown eyes, you begin to get to know him better.

Warnings: none ??

A/N: I can't believe im already losting chapter 2 what the hell its only been a week since this idea came to me

Wordcount: 2k

Series Masterlist

xxx xxx xxx xxx xxx

You stood back, looking at the loose outline of a song you had just scrawled across the chalkboard wall in your room. You had a good feeling about this one. All you needed was one good afternoon to sit down and put it to music before it would be ready for the citizens of Boston. You had picked up a couple of regulars after eight months of busking, they enjoyed your original songs and had even bought the shitty CDs you'd made with a mixture of covers and original material. Speaking of busking...

You looked out your window to make sure the bright, cloudless sky hadn't changed since sunrise, then grabbed your acoustic guitar and headed out.

The sun shined on you as you made your way through the streets of Boston, past restaurants and studios, across crosswalks and through the crowds. As you passed the Sunrise Theater, your thoughts fell warmly on the fond memories you had already made there. It had been a few weeks since Rumors in the Night started weekly gigs there. The money was doing you well, but you still took to the streets two or three times a week. It wasn't even really for the money, although a couple extra dollars from passerby was a bonus. What you really loved was the performance, sharing a part of yourself with an indifferent world. If you could bring a smile to the face of just one lonely passerby, you felt you had done good.

You set up in the shadow of a bank, in a small alcove where the walls would push your voice outwards. You sat your donation jar at your feet and unzipped your guitar case, pulling it out and beginning tuning. When everything was set, you began to sing.

"Honey, honey, honey / Who could be sweeter than you / Honey, honey, honey / Bitter sweet, but what can I do." 

You were completely carefree, singing on the streets of Boston. This city was beginning to feel a bit like home, although you knew you wouldn't be here for long. Your eyes were still fixed on LA, on the lights of Hollywood. You longed to see your name in lights, headlining at the Hollywood Palladium. 

"Lord it's been good to talk to you / Even sweeter than wine / Don't take the love light away / Cause I'm far away from home / Daddy, all I'm trying to tell you / Lord, I really love you, love you, love you."

This was a good song to warm up with, medium paced and not too vocally challenging. It sounded better with a full band, though. You would have to ask Fatima if you could put it on the setlist for your gig in the park this weekend.

"Honey, honey, honey, hi / honey, honey, honey hi / honey, honey, honey hi."

You watched a child come up and drop a few coins into your jar and you smiled, leading straight into your next song. You ran through Have You Ever Seen The Rain by Creedence Clearwater Revival, Waiting on the World to Change by John Mayer, Silver Springs by Fleetwood Mac and a couple others you had in your repertoire. You liked to finish up with Thank You for the Music by ABBA, it was a favorite of yours but it took a while to warm up for.

"Thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing / Thanks for all the joy they're bringing / Who can live without it, I ask in all honesty / What would life be? / Without a song or a dance what are we? / So I say thank you for the music / For giving it to me."

There was no one around, but you didn't care. This song meant something to you, and you were going to sing it for the world to hear.

"So I say / Thank you for the music, for giving it to me."

As you finished the song, a familiar face appeared in front of you. 

"You take requests?" Frankie asked, a smile tugging at his lips. 

You chuckled, grabbing our water bottle and taking a quick sip. "Yeah, if I know 'em. I was just about to pack up for lunch but one more song won't hurt. For a friend, of course."

"A friend?" he asked, a gleam in his eye.

"An acquaintance. Someone I know. But anyway, hit me."

"Landslide," he said, and you rolled your eyes. "What!? It's my favorite."

"You could pick something a little more original," you teased as you tucked your pick into your pocket and started to pluck the opening of the song. Frankie backed up against the lamp post to your right, settling his arms across his chest.

"I took my love, I took it down / I climbed a mountain and I turned around / and I saw my reflection in the snow covered hills / 'til the landslide brought me down."

The song was well known, and it brought you a small crowd almost immediately.

"Oh mirror in the sky, what is love / can the child within my heart rise above / can I sail through the changing ocean tides / can I handle the seasons of my life," you smiled softly, looking at the faces around you as they stopped to watch. 

"Well I've been afraid of changing cause I built my life around you / but time makes you bolder even / even children get older / and I'm getting older too."

You closed your eyes, letting the music take you over. You lost yourself in the song until it was over and the five or so people around you were clapping quietly and nodding in appreciation. 

"Thank you, thank you," you stooped to place your guitar in its case, watching from the corner of your eye as the onlookers drop a dollar or two into your jar. You looked up when you saw a twenty flutter into the jar, your eyes meeting Frankie's kind gaze.

"No, no I can't-"

"Nonsense," he said, "I liked your music, and you deserve it."

You zipped up your guitar case, taking the bill from the jar and pressing it back into Frankie's hand. "I can't take your money, Frankie."

He chuckled at your persistence. "Alright, alright. You said you were headed to lunch?"

You shrugged, "I was gonna go home, maybe make myself some ramen…"

"On a day like this?" Frankie shook his head, then jerked it to the side, asking for you to follow him. "C'mon, we're getting you some real food."

You huffed out a breathless laugh as you slung your guitar case across your back. "Maybe that's a good idea. I've been living here for nine months and the only restaurant i've ever really been to is the Thai place over on Matthews."

"You can't be serious," his voice was thick with disbelief as he looked back at you. You nodded, confirming your statement was true and he hadn't heard you wrong.  "What about the others, Ezra and them… Are they the same?"

"Ezra's a native Bostonian, but he's not big on restaurants. Julian and Cade both moved here around a year ago and me and Fatima have been here for nine months, we moved together. So we're all pretty new here, except for Ezra." You watched with curious eyes as Frankie waved to a man across the street selling snow cones. He was just so personable, no wonder it felt like you'd known him forever even though it had only been a couple of weeks since you met. He adjusted his gait for a second so you'd fall into place beside him, and for a moment you felt your heart flutter. 

"I'm from Eastern North Carolina, originally-"

"I can hear it, you've got a bit of an accent," there was a twang to some of the words he spoke, something that gave him a bit of a southern gentleman flair. And he was a gentleman, as far as you could tell.

He laughed at that, nodding in agreement. "Folks here say that too. I moved her when I was eighteen but I guess it never really left me."

"You can take the man out of the south-"

"But you can't take the south from the man," Frankie finished. His cheeks were tinted a little pink, a smile falling into place on his lips.

Momentarily, you paused to admire him. "Do you miss home?"

He shrugged, "Yeah, I miss it sometimes. I go back once a year over the summer, to visit my family. My sister and my nephews are still down there, and my mom and dad. But this is my home now, I don't think I'll ever leave."

You found yourself in front of a corner hotdog shop, and Frankie opened the door for you. The place looked like it was straight out of the 60's, checkered tile and all. "This is real food?"

Frankie looked offended as he sat down in one of the booths. "And here I thought you'd appreciate this," he pulled one of the menus out and handed one to you as you slid in across from him. 

You looked over the menu, looking for something that would catch your eye. "What do you suggest," you asked Frankie, laying your menu flat and tucking your feet up under the booth so you wouldn't kick him.

"This." He pointed out a burger, and you had to admit it looked good. "Best burger I've ever had, I swear on everything holy you'll love it."

The waiter came and took your orders, you got the burger Frankie had suggested and a strawberry milkshake to go with it. Afterwards, you found yourself staring off at the Jukebox by the counter. You wondered what they had in there, and if it was automated or authentic.

As if reading your thoughts, Frankie tossed you a quarter. You barely caught it, watching in confusion as he stood. "It's old school, just like everything else in here." You followed him over to the jukebox, and laughed when he pulled out a pair of reading glasses to see the small print of the track listing.

"What are you, fifty?" you teased.

"Watch it," he returned with a playful glare. "I'm paying for your lunch."

"Frankie you don't have to-" you started, but he shook his head.

"I'm paying, end of story. Can't have you thinking I'm not a gentleman." Your eyes fell on the gentle crinkles by his eyes that showed up when he smiled, and you wondered how anyone could mistake him for anything other than a gentleman. But you kept your mouth closed. "Now c'mon, pick a song, Songbird."

* * * * * * * * * * *

That night you found yourself sitting with Fatima, eating ice cream and watching a baking marathon on the food network. But your thoughts weren't on the contestants' lemon meringue pies. You were staring at the wall, your lunch with Frankie running through your head. Your lunch… date? No, that wasn't a date. That was just a lunch between acquaintances. Between friends.

You began to turn to Fatima, but as always she was ahead of you. She had turned down the TV and was already turned towards you, waiting. "He likes you."

You weren't even surprised, Fatima knew you better than anyone else. Of course she knew what you were thinking. "You think so?" you asked, and Fatima glared at you.

"Yes, I know so."

You tucked your knees against your chest, pulling your spoon out of your tub of Ben and Jerry's and chewing on it a little. Frankie was a kind man, you didn't want to read too much into his actions. But still, he had taken you out to lunch. And payed for your meal. And given you a nickname. "He called me songbird," you mused.

"Thats… That's adorable oh my god." Fatima sighed wistfully, eating a spoonful of her ice cream. "You should invite him to the show on Saturday!"

"I did. Well, I really just told him about it. But he said he'd be there. Is Landslide on the setlist?" you asked, and Fatima nodded. "Good. It's his favorite."

"What would you say if he asked you out?"

"I think…" you paused, but there was no need to. "I think I'd say yes."

End.

Permanent Taglist: @poestardust @tinyphantomsalad @thelazyhero-ttums @poe-djarin @djarinsidebitch

Pedro Taglist: @blackmarketmummy @coldlilheart @agentshortstacc

Frankie Taglist: @remmysbounty

[starrybluez]

Tagged about a week ago by @whats-her-name-virginia-plain & @duranarchy-in-the-uk - thank you 💜💙 and sorry I took so long in posting this! It brought back some great memories though!

Music Questions

1) what is the first song you remember hearing?

Many moons ago. Could have been “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star”? "Mary Had A Little Lamb?" Or maybe “Hey Jude” by the Beatles.

2) what is the first band you got into?

The Bangles & Exposé. And Madonna was my favorite artist. I think it was all about the girl power back then!

3) do you collect any physical music?

Lately no, but I still have a ton of CD’s and casettes (mostly mixed tapes).

4) what is your favourite piece of music memorabilia?

Probably some of my retro 60′s music magazines that I bought at the vintage hippie shops in New Hope, PA

5) the favourite concert you’ve been to?

I saw Paul McCartney in concert 3 times (was a Beatlemaniac for years). The first two times I think I got the cheapest seats where he was about a mile away. The last one I went to was back when I had a real job and could afford to sit maybe half a mile away. It was awesome.

Another favorite would be the B52′s with OMD as the openers. Saw them back in 2018. Nosebleed seats again, but the music was so good.

Oh! And Cyndi Lauper, The Go Go's, Duran Duran, Sean Lennon, David Byrne and the Tom Tom Club (not all at once ofc)! All from around the 2010's. I have a bestie who is always getting tickets for concerts so I've seen heaps of live acts.

I wish I could remember the Duran concert better, but it was 10 years ago and we were all the way in the back again. For Cyndi's concert though, my friend got us seats so close that we could see up her nose! There was a very funny moment where she exclaimed, "Man it's hot in here! Where's the A/C, man?!" And she dragged out a box fan on to the stage!

6) if you could see one artist who is no longer alive in concert, who would it be?

David Bowie!! Still kicking myself for not seeing him live.

7) have you met any musicians?

Gary Lightbody (lead singer from Snow Patrol) and a very quiet James McCartney (Paul’s son - he’s very shy).

8) what’s your go to album when you’re feeling sad?

Any classic McCartney album really. His voice can be a source of comfort & nostalgia.

9) what’s your go to album when you’re feeling happy?

Something I can sing or dance to, like my Duran albums.

10) one music documentary you love?

80's Duran in Sing Blue Silver and Three To Get Ready! Another favorite would be Wingspan w/McCartney & Wings, naturally

11) what is one concert dvd that you love?

The Prince's Trust Rock Gala 1986. Actually rented it on VHS back in the late 90's! My favorite performance from that would be Paul McCartney & Tina Turner singing "Get Back". So much hair, so much! Looked like a hair battle at one point. Tina is just amazing here, but I don't know when she hasn't been. That performance is also on YouTube. X

12) do you prefer listening to playlists or albums?

Albums mainly, because I can pick and choose which song I want to listen too. But since the newer cars don't have CD players (who's brilliant idea was that? 😐) I've been listening to my Spotify playlists. But that's been ok too because I can explore more tunes without having to buy them (for now at least).

13) do you listen to albums in order or on shuffle?

In order, but I skip around a lot.

14) what is your favourite deep cut song by your favourite artist?

Paul McCartney has so many deep cuts that he never released for years, but many of them started popping up on various sites online. A lot of the songs he didn't release himself are actually better than what he released I think. I can't really single one out. I'd say "Sunshine Sometime" and "Why So Blue" to name a few.

15) what is your favourite cd/cassette/vinyl you own in terms of its packaging?

Hmm maybe "The Beatles Anthology" or "Flaming Pie" by Paul McCartney. Anything with lyrics and lots of photos is good enough for me.

Since I was tagged days ago, I'm tagging anybody!

*pls don't reblog (it's long enough as it is!)

[kumoriyami-xiuzhen]

Hakuoki Yuugiroku Drama - Thumb-Sized Samurai Tracks 1-4 (of 7)

This is my last post of the month, so I’ll end by asking you to please support me if you can through my ko-fi, and paypal or patreon which provides access to my hakuoki blog translations and early access to my postings. Also, please let me know if you have any hakuoki drama cds that you’d be willing to share that are on my Lookout List since i either do not have audio for those cds or do not have audio that I can share.... and if you are able to remove watermarks from a video, please contact me.  

Well... I’m finally done with all that i can translate for this drama. posting these tracks all together since im unable to continue translating the rest of this by myself... which is something i wouldn’t normally do because i prefer splitting tracks up for more items on my queue, tho that’s also a side-effect of me usually not being able to stay focused on one drama... not sure when i’ll get to the subtitle videos for these since im still pretty busy (while i have the first 3 tracks of this drama subtitled [unedited], at this rate, i might just wait for when finals are done and just focus on all my videos in bulk then... plus ive yet to receive the tl for track 6 and 7 [and need someone else to go over where the voices overlap in track 5], so that will likely cause further delays to the videos for this drama).

also i totally caved in and exchanged points for the yuukoku no moriarty stage play file with chinese subs that someone finished translating recently and bought the blu-ray for the 2nd musical. havent craved more content from a fandom this badly since about a few months before i decided that i would start translating hakuoki stuff lol. 

Hakuoki Yuugiroku 2 Limited Edition Bonus Drama CD “Thumb-sized Samurai”

Translation by KumoriYami

Track 1

Kazama: hehehe~ Sure enough/As expected, this medicine's blend of Forsythia grass and boiled eel, along with my yearning and passion....

Heh.....hehehahaha~!!! Success at last! This forbidden drug, it shall be named ——the New Ishida Sanyaku · Changed/Improved!!

Hm~. as long as this strange drug  "the New Ishida Sanyaku" is improved, it will become a panacea that will make people fall deeply in love.......

She obviously loves me, [however] my wife is is unable to honestly admit to her feelings [and] is tormented by the pain of love-sickness/My wife, tortured by love sickness, has refused to admit her feelings, isn't this medicine suitable for her?

Alright/Well, now that this medicine has been completed, this must be quickly brought to my wife to drink.

No, wait, just in case, the effects of this must be tested first. (Kazama begins walking off somewhere—)

Track 2

Harada: So that's it/all, Hijikata-san, that's all I can report on. Sure enough/As expected, the team members' most pressing concern is the security of headquarters.

Saito: My opinions/suggestions are almost the same/similar/the same as Sano's. I believe that we need to improve our defences against intruders.

Hijikata: Is that so. I understand what you guys are saying. Harada and Saito, you've worked hard....... That being said, it's difficult to completely prevent intruders from coming in. This place is a temple, not a fortress. Even if we installed a fence now, that isn't really a good plan.

Saito:.....So what you're saying is......

Harada: But, shouldn't the area around Chizuru's room at least be fortified? It is true that someone is after her.

Saito: Kazama Chikage, Amagri and Shiranui [check audio], the self-proclaimed group of oni......

Hijikata:......Indeed. In short I need to consult with Kondou-san about this....... Then, that'll be it for today's report.

Saito: Then I'll go make some tea. You should rest first. Sano, you should also drink some.

Harada: Oh, thanks a lot. Then I won't be impolite [rephrase later].

(Saito leaves then returns shortly after)

Saito: I've brought the tea. This is fresh[ly brewed] and hot, so please be careful.

Harada: Thank you. I didn't expect this so quickly.

Hijikata: (sips tea)......Oh, what's this, Saito? Did you use some other tea leaves today?

Saito: Nn?......No, I haven't done that.

Hijikata: Really? Then why do I feel that this tastes different from usual?

Harada: You didn't put poison in did you?

Saito:......!! Don't say such frightening words, Sano. The idea of me poisoning the Vice-Commander is complete nonsense. [i prefer the word 'utter']

Harada: Don't get angry, I was just kidding. (sips tea).......but, like Hijikata-san said, the taste of this tea really is odd/strange [tl says 'subtle']......

Saito: Strange? How could that be...... (sips tea)....!!

Harada: What's wrong? You've suddenly become quiet.

Saito: This taste is of...... Ishida Sanyaku ！？

Hijikata: Ahaha, I was thinking that this tasted a bit familiar, so that's what it was........ wa, wait! Why was that put into the tea!?

Harada: Saito..... you bastard, did you actually put Ishida Sanyaku into tea/you didn't actually put Ishida Sanyaku into tea did you? Even if you love that stuff, you should know when to stop before going too far [idiom. rephrase later]!

Saito: No......I would remember doing something like that. I only saw that the teapot lid was open, that there were tea leaves already inside, and that I was thinking how it could easily be brought over to be used......

Hijikata:......There was already tea inside? Did you notice if there was something strange/weird in the surroundings?

Saito: Speaking of which........ I saw something, I thought it was garbage so I ignored it, I think I remember how a note there was a written note saying "dedicated/specially for my wife. Dogs are strictly prohibited to touch this" or something like that.......

Hijikata: What, those words. From where do they....seem... familiar.......

(Hijikata collapses)

Saito: Vice-Commander!!

Harada: oi~ oi!! What's wrong, Hijikata-san! Why are you/why did you suddenly....... falling/collapsing/fall/collapse......!!

(Harada collapses)

Saito: Sano!! Why are you also......!!.......Why am I/How can I.......also....... be fainting........!

(Saito collapses)

Track 3

(footsteps)

Souji: Ha...... good grief, this is a real problem. I've long wanted to say this, but why is it necessary for us to submit a report about our patrols when nothing unusual happened?

Heisuke: I actually think that way too. But nothing can be done about this because of the rules~

Souji: Anyway, if nothing unusual happens, isn't it enough for Heisuke to make the report/that you make the report, Heisuke? I don't think I should be involved in giving it~

Heisuke: You just don't want to go to Hijikata-san's room. If you were giving a report to Kondou-san, you'd obviously be very happy.

Souji: That's because Hijikata-san sees me he won't stop talking as soon as he sees me. Before this, all I did was secretly prepared some ink and smeared a stone into it so that it turned black. He surprisingly became furious at me.

Heisuke:......Anyone who experienced this kind of thing would get really angry.......  Hijikata-san, we're coming in. (they stop walking and open a door) Hey~ Hijikata-san~! Eh? Ah? It seems that he isn't here?

Souji:......But, doesn't it look like he was was recently in the room? Look, something spilled on to the floor.

Heisuke: What~? Is it possible that he wasn't careful and spilled his teacup, then panicked as he left to go and get a towel to dry this?

Souji: Maybe. Anyhow/Speaking of which...... besides the tea, there seems to be some other strange thing on the floor...... What is this?

Heisuke:......Hijikata-san, Sano-san, and Hajime-kun? What are these, these puppets/figurines [or dolls] look very well made. These might be Hijikata-san's things, so it'd be better not to touch them.

Souji: Anyway it seems like he's not in his room right now. Nothing to be done about it then~ [we'll] hand in our report later.

Heisuke: Yeah. Really, just where did he go......

(they open the door and leave the room)

Track 4

Harada: Saito...... Oi, Saito...! Wake up, I'm telling you to wake up!

Saito:.......Mm...mrgh... S-Sano?

Harada: Yeah.... oh, wait a sec! It's good that you're awake, but you can't open your eyes yet!...... Well, how should I put this...... you need to be mentally prepared......

Saito:.....? What are you saying? What mental preparations......?

~music tune~

Saito:.......!! Sano!?………………Sano?

Harada: Why is that a question? Without a doubt, it's me, Harada Sanosuke.

Saito: No....... But, the Sano I know, doesn't have that height......

Harada: Don't worry, you've become just like me. Just look down at your own body.

Saito:.....!!  Even my sword is unsteady in these smaller hands, and if I step forward, there's the risk of falling over because this extremely big head..... What the hell happened to my body...!

Harada: I'll say it first, but this isn't a dream. Because I've already my face quite a few times.

Saito:......This lowly/humble body...... let alone moving, won't I be useless to the vice-commander and be unable to contribute to the Shinsengumi!?

Harada: In a sense, I don't think you'll need to worry about that? Take a look/Look, Hijikata-san has also become like/also looks like this.

~music tune~

Hijikata: Ah...... damn it......! My hands and feet [arms and legs] have gotten shorter, and everything else [tl is surroundings/everything in the surrounding] has become incredibly large......!

Saito: E-Even the Vice-Commander.....!? Why do you [also] have this awkward appearance......!!

Hijikata: Saito, you're awake. I just woke up...... Oi, Harada, why on earth have we become/do we look like this!

Harada: Even if you ask me that, I have no idea/I don't know. I was like this when I woke up.

Hijikata: Yeah....... well, since the three of us have all become like this, it's obvious/goes without saying that the pot of tea was strange.

Harada: Yeah. To begin with, it's strange to have tasted Ishida Sanyaku in tea.

Saito:......I see. That is to say that this is all due to Ishida Sanyaku......

Hijikata: No, that's impossible......

Saito: Ishida Sanyaku is a medicine that is meant to be taken with sake, because it was deviously put into tea, this sort of of trouble happened.......

???: Che~ how stupid [tl is more "stupid beyond the point of help/redemption but i can't figure out how to word that]! Devious? It's shameless to even guess/speculate about this [reword later].

Harada:......! That arrogant voice......! Kazama!!?!?

Hiijikata: You bastard! Are you actually here to harass Chizuru again[??? there's an idiom used in this sentence that I don't really get so i omitted it]!? Where the hell are you hiding!?

Kazama: HAH~! Are your eyes just decorations?  I don't run or hide, so are you not able to see who is before your eyes?

~music tune~

Saito: Ha....... so you've also become like this...

Harada: I couldn't help but look up just now ['doubt my eyes'ish or 'look away'.... or something?] . (whispers) Ha.... It turned out be some random passerby.

Kazama: You bastard, sighing after looking at someone else's face, you really know nothing about etiquette!

Hijikata:: After breaking into someone's home, it goes without saying that etiquette will go to the dogs [reword later]! Alright, Saito, Harada! Let's drive this guy out of headquarters!

Saito: Understood (draws sword)

Kazama: Ah~ do you plan on fighting me with that poor body of yours?

Hijikata: Look at yourself, aren't you also the same!?

Harada: Speaking of that guy, why are you even here?.... Don't tell me that it was your plan to make our bodies smaller!?

Kazama: Ha, have you finally noticed it. You idiots/fools with no brains.

Saito: In other words, this is all that guy's fault?! Making all of our bodies smaller, what do you intend on doing?!

Kazama: It has nothing to do with you. I was only looking for my wife.... Yes, only just my wife.... That damn vile medicine!! To actually make turn me into this inferior article!!

Hijikata: Although I don't get why you're so upset, quit rambling, and hurry up and tell us the way to get us back to normal!

Kazama:.......Che.

Saito: You still won't talk. Then violence can be the only answer [reword later. don't like how it reads]...!

Harada: Hold it, Saito!

Saito: Why are you stopping me, Sano! If we don't get the answer out of that guy's mouth, we won't be able to get our bodies back to normal!

Harada: Don't you think it's a bit strange? Kazama was originally the culprit with that medicine, but why is that guy so small now? If he was able to get back to normal, he already would have done that!

Hijikata: Co-Could it be.... you're not going to say that you don't know how to get us back to normal, right!

Kazama:  Did you finally realize it? You idiots with no intelligence!

Harada: Uwah....... I really want to beat him up......

Saito: Vice-Commander, please give me the order to cut that guy down!

Kazama: Che, listen to me! It's not that I don't know how to restore us to our original states. It's just that this method will be extremely difficult to accomplish.

Hijikata:……Difficult [Difficult how]……?

Kazama: It's simple to get back to our original states. The teapot with the medicine in it is still in the kitchen. We just need to drink more of that medicine, the "New and Improved Ishida Sanyaku."

Harada: I feel that I want to complain about the name of that medicine since it's a bit too subtle.... But will that really work?!

Kazama: Of course. As I possess the noble bloodline of the oni, it's impossible for me to lie.

Hijikata: For the time being, we'll believe what you say. For the time being, we'll believe what you say. You said it'd be difficult, but shouldn't being able to get into the kitchen smoothly, be the only problem? 

Saito: Indeed. Just from the drop to the ground, which looks as high a wall, you can definitely infer how difficult it will be to get to the kitchen...

Kazama: That's right. As a dog who can only wag his head and wag his tail, that ability to understand is really good.

Harada: How is it that I feel angry whenever I hear you say something nasty [reword later].... Well, since we're like this, if we have more people, we'll be able to solve this problem sooner.

Hijikata: Speaking of which...... if someone would pass by/if someone just passed by......

(voices heard in distance)

Souji: Eh~ really, I don't always want to be doing this every time~

Heisuke: Don't say that. Hijikata-san should be back at his room now, right?

Hijikata: Those voices just now...... are Souji and Heisuke's?

Saito: Souji! Heisuke! Come here......! Mmph......! (mouth gets covered by Harada)

Harada: Don't be impulsive, Saito!!

Saito (weakly) What are you doing......!

Harada: I'm telling you/Listen [to me], just think about it! Even if Heisuke helps, the other person there is Souji!

Hijikata: If that guy finds out that we're tiny/this small, who knows how he would react!

Saito: (gasps and moves Harada's hand away) Ha...... Indeed, he'd treat us like toys and handle us as if we were straw...... just imagining that gives me the chills [reword later]......

Kazama: Che, as expected of a pack of dogs made up of rogues and villains. It's amazing that how you don't even have confidence/trust in your own companions.

Hijikata: Shut up! Under these circumstances...! Perhaps Souji is the only exception!

Harada: In the first place, what should we be doing, Hijikata-san? We have to do something, so should we just tell Heisuke about what happened?

Hijikata: Uh………… No, let's pretend to be dolls for a while. After, we can wait for Yamazaki or maybe Gen-san....... ah, there's still Chizuru, [but] we should wait for someone reasonable to pass by.

Kazama: What are you saying? You're actually telling me to pretend to be a doll [reword later]!?

Hijikata; Shut up and just do as I say! Even if it's you, if you can't get back to normal, won't you have a lot of problems!

Kazama: Che. There's nothing to be done/that can be done about it then.

Harada: Heisuke's coming! Everyone stop talking!

(door slides open)

Heisuke: Hijikata-san~!  Hah!? Still not here......

Okita: That's strange. I just heard a very quiet voice just now, so I thought Hajime-kun was here. (looks around) Anyhow, why have these dolls that were placed here, so scattered around [reword later/thesaurus]? Furthermore, this/And this strange doll with blond hair, I don't remember seeing it earlier.  

Toudou: What is this, a doll of Kazama? There's even one of one of Sano-san, but why isn't there one of these odd dolls of you or me, Souji?

(Heisuke pokes Kazama's head)

Kazama: You bastard......! The only one in the world who is allowed to touch me, is my wife...!

Harada: Come on, don't talk, just be patient!

Souji: These two figures look very much like Hijikata-san and Hajime-kun... Come look at them, they look pretty funny/interesting~

(Souji pokes Hijikata's head)

Hijikata:………………！！！！

Saito:…………！

Okita: Nn? I seemed to have heard something strange?

Harada: Well since these are Hijikata-san's things, if you play around too much with them, he'll get super angry~

Souji: That's right. But, if we just leave them here like this, isn't it likely for that cat to play around with them [reword later]?

Heisuke: It's as you say though since they were already left in a mess, maybe that cat messed them up [reword later].

Souji: In that case, why don't we just put them all into a box? They can be also put into a closet where the cat won't be able to reach them.

Saito: ………………What!?

Harada: If that happens, won't we be unable to move!?

Hijikata: This bastard/guy, he just had to come up with such a rotten idea right now!

Heisuke: Let's hold onto them for the time being then. Anyway, we still need to come back later and give give the report for our patrol. At the time, we can return these to Hijikata-san.

Souji: You're not thinking about taking these back to your room to prank them because you're upset about the faces of these dolls, right [i think? reword later]?

Heisuke: This idea of yours won't be any good/You're the only one who would come up with such a bad idea... well, then I'll take the Sano-san and Kazama dolls for to hold onto for safekeeping.

Kazama: Kuh......! Things are getting more and more complicated...

--To be continued...?---

[cross-d-a]

Pass the happy!💖 When you get this, reply with 5 things that make you happy and send this to the last 10 people in your notifications!

(I have decided that Discord notifs count because I love you dearly and wanna hear what makes you happy)

HELLO!!!! I love you and I kinda really needed this and I think you know that so thank you!!!!! I love and appreciate you SO MUCH!!

Also I've literally been thinking about this post for two hours and so I'm not gonna stick to just five- I'm gonna list MORE than that because I wanna remind myself that there are many wonderful things in the world to be happy about and also PICS!! I'm adding PICS bc I CAN!!!!!!!!!

under the cut bc it gets LONG! :)

1) YOU make me happy, Sierra!!!!!!! Also @s1utspeare and @vishcount and of course my bff @haru-tl !!! You guys are so fucking incredible and talented and AMAZING!!!! I love you all SO MUCH!!! You always make my day!!! And all the dmbj peeps!!! I am so lucky to know so many wonderful people!!!!

2) as long as we're on the subject of people- I absolutely can't leave out my coworkers!!! Literally some of the best people I've ever met in my life. I have so much fun with them. I can always count on them making me laugh.

Like today, we were talking about this reptile house a few towns away and my manager was telling us about their cool anaconda exhibit where you can crawl under the glass tank and watch them eat and she mentioned their teeth being scary. So I googled Anaconda Teeth and went WOAH THEY'RE COOL and our Resident Snake Expert came over and went actually that pic is from the movie Anaconda. And then he helped me find Real Pics and the teeth were even COOLER. I left the Google search up on the work computer and a couple hours when I was on lunch I heard Mike exclaim: "I had NO idea that ANACONDAS had TEETH!!!!!!" Which?? MIKE?? WHAT??? Hahaha everyone burst into laughter :)

3) my cat BOOTS makes me happy!! He's always asking for belly scritches and he drools when he's happy. Here's a pic bc I adore him:

4) my new baby boy So Mun from The Uncanny Counter makes me VERY happy!!!!! He's just- the Sweetest Boy to have ever Baby'd!!! I adore his little crinkly-eyed smile and curly hair!!! He's just so GOOD it makes me cry!! Also!! Disabled rep!!!!! LOVE HIM!!!!! Look at his lil' FACE:

and bc he is Unfortunately Very Hot in his mourning outfit:

adding this too bc LOOK AT THAT ADORABLE SMILE I wanna SCREAM

5) my Pangzi necklace makes me happy!!! I have an Iron Triangle matching set, but the Pangzi one I first put on bc of Brigid's Pangzi chapter for Swiftly Tilting and then I kinda just- never took it off haha. It's just so pretty and makes me feel like I've got a bit of Pangzi with me at all times. I love that man SO much and if I can be even a fraction of how wonderful he is, then I can die happy

6) the smell of the sea makes me happy!!! It makes me feel refreshed and relaxed! I live by Puget Sound and on very lucky days I can smell it at my house! Tonight was a lucky night! I came home and it smelled like the seashore, so I kept my window open as I folded laundry :)

7) my new collection of Kpop CDs makes me happy!! It's entirely bc of Vish's influence and I LOVE her for it!!! The packaging is just so pretty and I always love being able to hold things that give me Good Feelings in my hands :)

8) since we're on the subject of COLLECTIONS, I love to collect things!! And one collection of things that makes me happy are my books!! I have- too many. Working in a bookstore makes it too easy to buy them! But seeing the bright spines on my shelves gives me delight. I particularly really like my queer manga collection!! I've got four whole shelves of it! :) I'd offer a pic but I'm too tired to go upstairs, haha but I love the art and the representation 🌈

9) I ALSO really love all the figures I collect! Seeing characters that I love on a daily basis makes me happy. I usually decorate my bookshelves with them. One set that makes me particularly happy are my Pingxie ones. They look like they're getting married and it delights me:

10) another purchase that is entirely bc of Vish (I ADORE you!!) is my Chimmy blanket!! He's just so adorable and bright and coming home every day to see him waiting on my bed makes me very happy

11) yet another bright yellow thing that makes me happy is my dmbj Xiao Ge coaster!! It's so sparkly and fun AND it's a friendship coaster I share with Sierra!! We've got a matching set, babe!! I love you!! Let's just shake them around and be distracted by the sparkles forever!!

12) coming back to work from my weekend to find a bunch of manga to shelve always makes me very happy!!! Buying/pricing/shelving manga is my favourite thing to do at work! I love seeing familiar and new titles!

And it's interesting to see how prices can change if it goes out of print! Sometimes every single book in a series but ONE is the same price. Like last month we had a series where like/ volume 8 was worth $250 vs the regular $7.99 for the rest of them. And someone BOUGHT IT!! Things like that can happen randomly. It can be bc it was a smaller printing for that particular volume. OR something special happens in it (new character appearance/fan favourite story arc/BOOBS), so more ppl want to keep it which means it's harder to come by (and then sellers raise their prices BC it's difficult to come by). You usually see the collectible value go up for out of print BL or older series like Aria or Lupin III. Not everything that's out of print is collectible, but it's always interesting when it is :)

13) DAY6's The Book of Us: Gravity has graciously given me a big serotonin boost the last couple days!! It's just- I dunno! Uplifting! Catchy! Full of energy! :)

14) similarly, I've been listening to Close Your Eyes by Isaac Hong almost exclusively for like- five days now! It's from The Uncanny Counter and it makes me very happy! It's very emotional and just reminds me of my baby boy So Mun :)

15) sunshine makes me happy!! I'm at that point in the year where I don't want rain anymore, just sun! So it's always nice having my windows open at home with the sun shining through. Or the back doors at work propped open while we go about our day. It's almost impossible to feel sad when you get to bask in the warmth of the sun and smell the nice fresh air

16) finding weird random books at work makes me happy! It's so fun seeing the kinds of things people read! And sometimes you find cool ephemera in the things people sell to us that they don't want back. Like- look at this pic from an older fortune-telling birthday book I found. She is 1000% Drowning Him and I love that for her :)

17) reading manga makes me happy. There are just so many wonderful and ridiculous series out there. There really is nothing "too weird to publish" in the manga world. I was reminded of this the other day when I discovered a series about a girl who timetravels and finds out that her soulmate is a Neanderthal. You can literally find a series about ANYTHING in the manga world and I love that about it. There's no limit to the imagination and there's something for everyone :)

18) when I'm in the mood, writing and drawing make me happy. There's just something about creating that really just- fills the soul :)

19) making playlists makes me happy!! I love having playlists for characters and relationships and fics and even specific fic chapters or moods or going to sleep! (And rec playlists! Like Vish's :) ) It's just- so satisfying having the Perfect Playlist on hand! Plus it's fun actually making them- like figuring out the mood/lyrics and what they fit into :) I listen to music almost constantly, so this is essential! :)

So thank you Sierra!! It was nice to remind myself about a lot of different things that bring joy to my life!! I love and adore you SO MUCH 💖💖💖

[zerochanges]

2020 Favorite Video Games

I don’t know if I am an outlier or if this is the same for everyone else but I really did not play a lot of games this year. 2020 was a very harsh year for all of us, especially for me for some personal reasons. So to get to the chase, I am just gonna say it left me not doing much in what little free time I did have, and I didn’t play much either. Usually I try to keep my lists for ‘favorite of the year’ to only titles released that year but since I played so little this year, screw it. I am gonna include any game I played this year regardless of release date.

Collection of SaGa

By far a flawed rerelease. It’s bare bones: there are no advance features you would usually expect out of these kinds of emulated rereleases like save states, fast forward, or rewind, and there was no real effort made to touch up almost 30 year old localizations that had to meet Nintendo of America’s then harsh standards. This really is just 3 roms slapped into a nice looking interface with an option to increase the game speed (which by the way you better use, the characters walk very slow in these old games). 

I am bit harsh here, but only because I thought the Romancing SaGa remasters and the upcoming SaGa Frontier remaster all looked like they got a great budget and a lot of love while this is just another Collection of Mana situation (moreso specifically talking about Seiken Densetsu 1/Final Fantasy Adventure/Adventures of Mana part of that collection). I would have loved to see Square Enix do a bit more for these older games. Or at least include the remakes. Seiken Densetsu 1 had two great remakes, both unused in Collection of Mana, and all three of these original SaGa titles have remakes that have never seen the light of day outside of Japan. How great would it have been to get the Wonderswan remake of SaGa 1, as well as the Nintendo DS remakes of Saga 2 and SaGa 3? 

But my gripes aside, these games are still fun as they ever were. Replaying SaGa 1 specifically during the holiday season really helped calm me down and made me feel at ease. It’s easy to forget but even in their Gameboy roots there are a lot of funky and weird experimental choices being made in these games. They aren’t your run-of-the-mil dragon quest (or considering the gameboy, maybe pokemon would be more apt) clones. 

Raging Loop

Perhaps my favorite game of the year, Raging Loop is one of the best visual novels I have ever played hands down. The level of creativity and splitting story paths that went into it is simply mind blowing. The basic premise is both a wonderful throwback to the old days of Chunsoft sound novels while still modern and somewhat reminiscent of both Higurashi and Danganronpa. Essentially you play as Haruaki, a poor slub that got lost in the mountains with no clue where to go until you stumble upon an old rural village with a strange history and even stranger superstitions. Before you know it there has been a murder and the Feast is now afoot.

The less said about Raging Loop the better, although I do want to say a lot about it one day if I ever can write a proper review of it. This is a gripping game that will take hold of you once you get into it though and never let go. I actually 100%-ed this and I very rarely do that. I got every ending, every bonus hidden ending, played the entire game twice to hear all the hidden details it purposely hides on your first play through, played all the bonus epilogue chapters, unlocked all the hidden voice actor interviews, collected all the art work, etc, etc. I was just obsessed with this game, it’s that damn good! And the main character is maybe the best troll in all of video games, god bless Haruaki. 

Root Double

From Takumi Nakazawa, long time contributor to Kotaro Uchikoshi’s work comes a game any fan of Zero Escape or Uchikoshi in general will probably enjoy. Root Double, like its name suggests is a visual novel with two different routes, hence Root Double. The first route stars Watase Kasasagi, the leader of an elite rescue team in the midst of their greatest crisis yet that could lead to nuclear devastation as they try to evacuate a nuclear research facility that has gone awry. 

The other route stars Natsuhiko Tenkawa, an everyday high schooler whose peaceful life is thrown into turmoil when he stumbles upon a terrorist plot to destroy the nuclear facility in the city and his attempts to stop them. Together the two separate plots weave into one and creates a really crazy ride. Part Chernobyl, part science fiction, any fan of the genre will easily enjoy it. And hey it’s kind of relevant to include on this list too since it just got a Switch port this year (I played it on steam though).  

Snack World

I was shocked upon starting Snack World as it is instantly incredibly charming, witty, and downright hilarious at times yet I heard almost zero people talk about it. EVER. This game is Dragon Quest levels of quirky though, and the localization is incredible. The game has such an oddball sense of humor that works really well with its presentation right down to the anime opening video that sings about the most bizarre things. Instead of the usual pump up song about the cool adventure ahead we get stuff like wanting to go out to a restaurant and eat pork chops. 

The self aware/fourth wall breaking humor is just enough to be really funny, but doesn't overstay its welcome and always makes it work right in the context of the dialogue. And finally, just everything; with the menus, the name of side quests and missions, and the character dialogue -- are all just so witty and full of quirky humor. This is one hell of a charming and funny game and addictive to boot.

Trials of Mana

Trials of Mana has gone from one of those legendary unlocalized games, to one of the first major breakthroughs in fan translation, to finally getting an official English release complete with a fully 3D remake. In a lot of ways from a western perspective this game has had an incredible journey. As for this remake itself, I really found myself having tons of fun with it. I loved the graphics, and the voice acting while a bit on the cheaper side almost kind of adds to the charm since both the graphics and acting really give it an old PS2 vibe. I know that is probably just more me being weird but yeah, I had to say it. 

I really hope Square Enix sticks to this style of remake more often, instead of just doing Final Fantasy VII Remakes that break the bank and involve extensive tweaking to both plot and game play. I’ll take smaller budget projects that play more like the original game any day personally. I wouldn’t mind if they also deliver a brand new Mana game all together in this engine either. 

Utawarerumono Trilogy

This year saw the release of the first entry in the series, Utawarerumono: Prelude to the Fallen--and thus finally after three years since the sequels Utawarerumono: Mask of Deception and Utawarerumono: Mask of Truth came out in 2017 the trilogy is now complete in English. I ended up binging through Prelude to the Fallen very fast shortly after it came out and immediately jumped on to the sequels. Perhaps the best part of 2020 was that I finally played all three of these fantastic games, and did so back-to-back-to-back. Playing the first Utawarerumono was an experience I will never forget, it was like visiting old friends again that I haven’t seen in ages, by and large thanks to the fact that I saw the anime adaption of the game when I was much younger, nearly a decade ago. Back then I would have never of dreamed that I would get to play the actual game and get the real experience. 

And it only got better from here, as all three games are such wonderful experiences from start to finish. The stories are all so deep, and by the time you get to the third entry, Mask of Truth, it’s crazy to see how they all connected over so many years and weaved together into a plot much bigger than they ever were. What carries it beyond all that though has to be the fun and addicting strategy role playing game aspect, which while a bit on the easy side, is still so much fun and helps make the game feel better paced since you get to play the conquests your characters go on and not just read about all the battles they fight. Beyond that the games are packed full of awesome characters, and I know I’ll never forget the amazing leads in all of them. Hakuowlo, Haku, and Oshtor will all go down as some of the greats to me. 

Ys: Memories of Celceta

Ys: Memories of Celceta is a full 3D remake of Ys IV, a rather infamous game in Falcom’s Ys series. Not to get bogged down too much into the history of Falcom but by this point they were facing a lot of hardship and had to outsource this entry to other developers, and thus passed it on to two particular developers they had a business relationship with, creating two unique versions of Ys IV. Tonkin House who had worked on Super Famicom port of Ys III with Falcom ended up creating their own YS IV entry, Mask of the Sun for the very same system, where Hudson soft who had produced the much beloved Ys Books I & II remakes for the Turbografix (PC Engine) CD add-on created their own Ys IV entry Dawn of Ys for that console. Both games followed guidelines and ideas outlined from Falcom themselves but both radically diverged from each other and turned into completely different games. 

Falcom finally putting an end to this debate on which version of Ys IV you should play have gone and created their own definitive Ys IV in 2012 for the Playstation Vita. I played the 2020 remastered version of this remake on my PS4. I even bought this on the Vita when it first came out but I am horrible and only horde games, never play them. So it was a lot of fun to finally play this. 

Memories of Celceta is probably one of the best starting points for anyone looking to get into Ys, especially if you only want to stay with the 3D titles as out of all the 3D entries this explains the most about the world and series protagonist Adol Christian. Beyond that it’s just another fantastic entry in a wonderful series that has a few good twists hidden behind it, especially for long time fans of the series. 

Random Video Game Console Stuff

Xbox Has Blue Dragon: I actually got an Xbox One this year for free from my brother. Because of that I started to play Blue Dragon again and there’s a lot I would love to say about this game. I don’t know if I am fully committed to replaying it all the way through however but I find myself putting in a couple hours every few days and enjoying myself again. Does anyone else remember Blue Dragon? I feel like it really missed its audience and had it come out nowadays and probably for the Switch it would have really resonated with the Dragon Quest fandom a lot more instead of being thrown out to die on Xbox and constantly compared to Final Fantasy VII and the like which it had nothing at all similar with. 

The Turbografx 16 Mini: This was probably one of the best mini consoles that have come out and I feel like thanks to the whole 2020 pandemic thing it was largely forgotten about. That’s a shame, it has a wonderful variety of great games, especially if you count the Japanese ones (god I wish I could play the Japanese version of Snatcher included), and a wonderful interface with fantastic music. One of these days I would really like to be able to play around with the console more seriously than I have already. 

Fire Emblem Shadow Dragon Never Existed: So Nintendo localized the first ever Fire Emblem game on Nintendo Switch which is awesome to see them touching Famicom games again--I haven’t seen Nintendo of America rerelease old Famicom titles since Mysterious Murasame Castle on the 3DS, but their trailer hilariously made it seem like this is the first time ever they released Fire Emblem when in fact they had already localized the remake Shadow Dragon on the Nintendo DS nearly 10 or 11 years ago. I and many other fans I talked to all found this really hilarious, probably solely because of how much they kept repeating the fact that this is the first time you will ever be able to experience Marth’s story.

All that aside though I have to say the collector edition for this newly localized Famicom game is probably the most gorgeous retro reproduction I have seen in a long time, and I really spent many many hours just staring at the all clear glass mock cartridge. I have found myself really obsessing over retro reproductions during 2020, and obtained quite a few this year. I really hope this trend continues to go on in 2021 as recreating classic console packaging and cartridges is a lot of fun.