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gretavanmoon · 6 months ago

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The Proposition (S17)

Spinning Now: "Birthday Sex" by Jeremih (2009)

Pairing: Danny x female reader

Word Count: 14.3k

Description: Danny's always been that friend and roommate who you never thought of as anything more, until a birthday proposition presents itself in a way that neither of you can deny.

Warnings: Drinking, Cursing, Heavy Flirting, Praise, Dirty Talk, Touching, Wax Play

Smut: Kissing, Oral M!Receiving, Oral F!Receiving, Fingering, Unprotected Sex (use protection!!)

+ This little diddly of an idea has been swimming around in my head for months now, and I've been so excited to get it going. And thanks to the reader who suggested it be a roomies trope ;) Hope ya like xoxo

Girl you know i i i...

HER POV

White or red?

There is no special occasion, simply just the bi-weekly dinner gathering of your friend group that has turned into an every-Thursday-night habit. Not that an occasion constitutes your wine choice, but still yet, the thought quickly crosses your mind. You are all meeting at your and Danny’s house tonight, along with the conjoined group of friends that has been steadily keeping each other fed for the past two and a half years, now.

You’d been living with Danny for as long as you could remember, taking claim of his spare room sometime after everyone collectively moved out of your parents’ homes. The arrangement worked perfectly, the two of you already knowing how the other ticked after being friends for many years. Your jobs kept both of you busy, giving the other enough room that you didn’t feel like you were invading space in the small house.

You pull your phone from your pocket as you peruse the wine selections, texting the group chat to check on tonight’s menu.

You: What are we making tonight again? I already forgot

Jake: Salmon and quinoa and some other stuff

Jake: God your memory sucks

You: Emma, come get your man he’s being mean to me again

Emma: Quit picking on her babe

You: Ok so I should get white wine, right? Pairs with fish?

Sam: Just get three fuckin bottles of wine, who cares

You: Ok I’m not coming if you guys are gonna continue to harass me

Sam: Too bad it’s your house and you have to be there anyway

You: I’ll lock myself in my room I don’t care

Danny: No Y/N, if they’re gonna be assholes they don’t have to come over. They can stay home and we can order pizza :)

Jake: Shut the fuck up Sam, I’m making the damned salmon and quinoa

Josh: What the fuck is quinoa

You shove your phone back in your pocket as you roll your eyes, the buzzing still consistent as you imagine they are still arguing with one another.

It's funny how much Danny has been defending you lately. He’s still his normal self, your very good friend who sometimes lets his sweet side get the better of him, but in the past couple of months, something has switched. The more the brothers pick on you, the more he stands up for you. It used to be the opposite, with him joining in on your playful dog-piling any chance he could get. But ever since a couple of months ago… ever since his last birthday…

Almost three years ago now, you and Danny had found yourselves wrapped up in each other’s arms in his bed after a drunken night that started out like any other, dinner, socializing, cards, and way too much to drink. It was his birthday party, and after everyone else had cleared out, you stayed up to clean up the multitude of plastic cups and empty bottles that were scattered around the house. You were both fairly drunk, and you knew if you got the majority of the party cleaned up that night, you wouldn’t have to bother with it all while being inevitably hungover the next morning.

“I’ll get out of your hair soon, Danny. I’m about to call an Uber to go stay with Emma.” You’d said as you dried the last of the dishes. He was sprawled out over on the loveseat, his shirt halfway unbuttoned and his mess of curls pulled up on top of his head. You’d always found him attractive, but you’d always been positive he was way out of your league. He’d never even given you a passing glance in that way. Except, that night, he looked exceptionally delicious… and your hazy, drunken mind undoubtedly had started to drift.

“What? Whyyyyy…? Don’t get an Uber, it’s too late,” he’d slurred as you walked over to sit on the ottoman his feet were rested on.

“Becauseeee… it’s your birthday and I don’t want to interrupt your time with whatever guest you might have coming over.” You remember the words felt heavy in your mouth, like it was strange that you had never talked about Danny’s personal life out loud before. Or yours, for that matter. Even after all the years of being friends and roommates, the two of you had always taken things as they’d come… watching as strangers made their way in and out of your bedrooms without a second question.

“Guest?” His face contorted. “I ‘ont have a guest coming over, Y/N…”

You’d let your mouth gape open and your hand clutch your chest in a display of over-dramatics. “Really? No one to give you a happy ending on your birthday?! You must be falling off the wagon, Wagner.”

What you do remember, though, was how hard he laughed at your half-assed attempt at a shitty joke.

“I swear! Just me, tonight.” It was at that very second that you remember becoming enamored with the way he licked his lips, how he clicked his tongue just a little, and how his eyes had fluttered closed under his lashes. He’d reached his hand out for you to grab, so you did.

“You gonna let me be lonely on my birthday, Y/N?” His warm fingers slowly worked their way to interlace with yours. This flirtatious tone wasn’t something you’d ever seen from him before, but for some reason, you found yourself tumbling for it. The deep rasp in his voice signaled something else, something so unexpected from him that you almost laughed it off as him kidding with you.

Your eyes had glanced around the room in confusion, and when you didn’t answer, you felt his foot kick into your leg, bringing your eyes back to look at him. His eyebrow was cocked in the air, as if he was waiting for an answer.

“You’re drunk, Danny… you don’t…” you’d anxiously answered, nodding your head side to side in disbelief.

“Don’t what?”

“Don’t want me to… stay…” for some reason, he was making you nervous, and you were having trouble answering him. There was no way he wanted you to stay, of all people. No way in hell.

He’d laughed, sitting up on the couch and leaning over to take you in his arms in a giant bear hug. His face was buried into your shoulder, pulling you close in the warmest embrace you’d had in a while. It was strange feeling him this closely, and you shivered a little at his touch. You’d hugged him back, and then felt his lips drift close to your ear.

“I actually do… want you to stay here with me. In my room, in my bed, until tomorrow morning…” his voice crackled in your ear, the faint scent of spicy tequila still on his breath. It’d sent chills all over your body, and you had to admit, it was a strangely welcome feeling. Danny had never been this close to you, like this, ever before. His words had shocked your system, though, temporarily deeming you unable to respond.

So when he finally pulled back from the hug and confidently met your eyes again, you let yourself go with it. You were still fairly intoxicated, but this drop dead gorgeous friend of yours who had hardly ever given you the time of day was now throwing himself into your lap. Why turn him down? It was his birthday, after all.

“I never knew you were into me, Danny,” you’d cooed, watching as his fingers drifted across the back of your hand.

He sat back and dropped his head against the cushion again, cracking his fingers above his head. “I‘ve always been into you, Y/N. You’re gorgeous and fun, make me laugh… always been so good to me.”

You’d never admitted it, but of course you had pictured yourself with him a time or two. How could you not? Talented, handsome, kind and genuine…always looking for fun and always including you in his outlandish plans. But this…him laying it out on the line like this? It had your body beginning to physically yearn for him, completely out of nowhere.

“Stop playing, no you haven’t…” you’d argued, still in disbelief.

He held his hands up in surrender, cocking a sideways smile. “I swear. I just… never had the guts to say anything…”

You contemplated it all for a second, giving him a questioning look that begged for his reassurance.

“Why not, ya know? Not like we’re strangers…” you’d muttered through a sharp inhale.

You stood from the ottoman and slowly began stepping one foot in front of the other toward him, standing just between his legs. Your heart rate spiked as you answered him, your face flushing with the reality of what you were about to do. “Just a birthday hookup, huh? Just this one time?”

You let your hand brush against his thigh, your fingers lightly tickling until they reached his hip. It felt as though your hands were disconnected from your body, making their own decision to reach out and touch him as he sat reclined in front of you. Gently, his hands pulled around your waist, his thumbs digging into the flesh, strong and inviting.

“Just this one time…and that’s it.”

That night, the two of you stayed up until the winter sun was striking through the windows onto Danny’s white down comforter, and only then did the two of you finally drift off to a short but sweet slumber, until the alarm on his phone woke you both in a panic.

You’d fallen asleep upside-down on the bed, both of your heads at the foot of his king-size. His arm was draped across the small of your back, and his hair was still a messy bundle of curls at the back of his head.

“Fuck,” he’d muttered, rubbing his eyes. “What time is it?”

“I don’t fuckin’ know, it’s your alarm…”

Suddenly, now, in the light of day and the brightness of the room, the both of you became very conscious of your unclothed selves. You’d felt your cheeks blush at the sight of him, skin still dewy with the after-effects of sweat and sex. You didn’t miss his passing glance of you, too, still halfway wrapped up in his sheets as he maneuvered to the top of the bed to check the time.

“‘S only seven. Shit, I’ve got a headache…” he said, running a hand over his face.

“Me too,” you mumbled as he laid back down beside you. You pulled the covers up a bit more over your body, feeling extremely exposed in the bright sunlight. He propped himself up on his elbows, giving you a sweet and questioning look. “So, what are we supposed to do now?” you’d asked. “Cuddle?”

His laugh bounced off the walls, the glitter in his eye sending a wave of nerves through your body.

“We cuddled plenty last night, Y/N. We didn’t end up falling asleep until like, six,” he said, his voice groggy with sleep, or lack thereof.

“Fuck,” you breathed. “I’m sorry for keeping you up all night, I know you have things to do all day–” he cut you off with a kiss, his neck craning down to meet your lips with the sweetest surprise touch.

After a few fleeting seconds he pulled away, meeting your eyes as he spoke again. “Don’t you dare apologize to me, Y/N. I asked you to stay in here. Asked you to keep me company on my birthday.” His hand reached up to pull the hair away from your cheek, bringing instant flashbacks of his hands on your face and shoulders last night as he pinned you down, fucking you into his mattress. “I was just completely unaware that both of us would last for that many hours…” he laughed, rolling away to cover his face.

“God, Danny, don’t embarrass me!” you laughed along with him.

“What is there to be embarrassed about?! Shit, I think we were great together,” he went on, holding his hand out for you to low-five.

You pursed your lips together, letting your hand clap onto his. “We were, weren’t we? Never would have thought.”

“Shit, I thought about it all the time…” he admitted.

“Why didn’t you ever say anything?” you played, smacking him across the chest.

“I don’t know, you’re just a girl in my friend group, ya know? My roommate that helps me with rent…didn’t want to freak you out or something and make you hate me,” he explained.

You propped up on your elbow, shaking your head at him. “So we could have been doing this all along?”

“Oh, so you enjoyed yourself, then?” he countered, rolling you to lie on your back as he pulled himself over you again.

As you gazed up at him above you, small curly strands falling around his face and onto yours, you felt your face get hot, the same need you felt in your stomach for him last night coming back full force. A need you never thought you would have for him. A need that came back to you over and over again the night before, and left you both too exhausted to even bother to see the morning.

“Danny, we fucked like five times, of course I enjoyed myself,” you tried to keep the confidence heavy in your voice.

His nose scrunched up as he giggled, light and airy into the room. He laced his fingers with yours, lifting your hands together into the air and pulling them back down between you again. This time, you took the initiative and kissed him again, straining to keep things from moving as quickly as they had moved once you finally climbed into his lap on the couch last night.

When you finally separated, both of you refraining from letting it go any further, he disconnected your hands and clenched his jaw. “What do we do now?”

You didn’t want a relationship. And neither did he. That much was very known amongst your friend group, the both of you way too busy with your own lives to devote your time to another. You stood strong in that decision, and you knew for a fact that he would, too. So your mind began wandering, thinking of ways to end this entanglement you’d found yourselves in.

“What if we just… did this sometimes?” you proposed.

His brow furrowed. “I’m listening…”

“Our birthdays. Yours in December, and mine in June… it’s perfect. If the both of us are single on our birthday each year, we make a plan to not leave the other lonely…” The idea seemed preposterous, but at the same time, it didn't. A sure-fire way to make each of your birthdays interesting each year, and after the night you’d shared last night, you’re positive he wouldn’t turn the idea down.

His eyes dashed around the room as he considered it, taking a deep breath as he sat up in the bed. You caught a glance of his naked lower half, and your eyes rolled back on their own accord as you pictured his hips pounding into yours last night in the darkness of his bedroom. You sat up too, challenging his gaze.

He held his hand out again, this time for you to shake.

“Deal.”

—-

After deciding on the three bottles of wine, two white and a red, your mind begins wandering off by itself, causing you to hardly pay attention to the fact that you are singing the words to the song playing in your headphones out loud. You bite your lips, glancing around to see if anyone had seen you, or worse, heard your horribly flat singing voice. Luckily the aisle is clear, so you make a mad dash for the checkout line, ready to get out and head back home for dinner.

The drive is short, and when you finally arrive in the driveway, you find that you’re the last one to get there.

“Hello, hello,” you sing as you let yourself inside, kicking off your flip flops at the door. You set the bag of wine bottles on his island where Jake and Sam are busy preparing the meal.

“Thank god, the booze is here!” you hear Josh sing through the house as he makes his way over to stand beside you, opening the drawer of the island to search for Danny’s wine opener. You set all three bottles in line on the countertop in a nice straight line. “Shiraz, Y/N? That’s surely a bold choice…” Josh says, rolling his eyes.

“The label looked pretty, I don’t know!” you counter, shoving your shoulder into his. “It already smells really good, guys…” you say as you leave Josh to the wine, leaning over Jake’s shoulder as he stirs a pot at the stove. Suddenly Danny is leaning over his other side, sticking his finger in whatever sauce Jake is stirring.

“Aht, aht!” Jake swats his hand away just as Danny sticks his finger into the saucepan. “It’s not perfect yet…”

“Tastes good as hell to me,” Danny says, locking eyes with you as he pops his lips over his finger. You feel your insides churn.

“So Y/N, your birthday is next week, you guys planning your weird little bi-yearly birthday hookup still?” Josh nonchalantly asks as he yanks the cork from the bottle of red. Fortunately, it only took nearly two years for your friends to catch on to your and Danny’s little birthday agreement, when Jake inadvertently tried to surprise Danny with filling up his bathroom with balloons, only to find you bent over the bathroom sink.

“Christ, Josh, you have to put it like that?” Danny intervened. “Geez…”

“What?! That’s what it is, right?” Josh says as he pulls glasses down from the cabinet. You feel your face blush, even though it’s an open topic, at this point.

Danny pulls himself up to sit on the corner of his countertop. “No, we simply enjoy the other’s company on our birthdays because both of us suck at the dating playing field and always decide to indulge in one another’s availability, right Y/N?”

“That’s correct,” you confidently agree as you listen to the others groan.

Josh throws his head back and laughs loudly.

“What?” Danny yelps.

“You don’t think it’s funny that neither of you have ever had a significant other on your birthdays for the past what, three years now?” Josh says, eliciting silent looks of agreement from his brothers.

“Mmm, no, I don’t think it’s funny. We both suck at dating, you heard him. This is just…our way of making sure we aren’t alone twice a year.” The attempt at explaining yourselves is transparent, at this point. You know you’re lying to yourselves. It's obvious. Each and every time you pull yourself from Danny’s bed, or he from yours, you feel your bones begging you to stay. You like him, you’ll admit it, but only to yourself.

Twice a year isn’t enough, it was never enough. And you know for a fact that it will never be enough. On his birthday last year, you could have sworn you heard him say something close to the ‘L’ word as he came for the third time that night, his voice low and whining as you clenched around him, bringing him to his completely fucked-out state of mind. Each hookup had gotten hotter, heavier, and more serious. Each time was better than the last, and this last one was so intense, that you ended up staying in his room a second night, completely breaking your own rules.

As you slipped out of his bedroom that second morning, his honey brown eyes were begging you to stay, his lips touching his fingertips and blowing it your way as you quietly shut his bedroom door behind you.

That morning broke you. That morning your heart told you what it wanted.

That morning was the last time you denied it to yourself– you were absolutely head over heels for him. The yearning you’d felt had begun overtaking your whole self. And it wasn’t just yearning, it was something else. Something more powerful, something you couldn’t grasp the notion of, because you’d never felt it before. It’s now become something that makes your days drag by with the thought of him, not only sexually but personally, too. You feel wrapped up in his life, intertwined with his decisions, and some days you barely even have the time to give each other more than a goodmorning and goodnight. Sure, you still meet up every week with your group for dinner, but the subtle touches and the intense glances that are being shared almost on the daily now have become too much. You want to tell him. You need to tell him.

“Hm. Okay, so… what’s the plan this year?” Josh asks, obviously wanting to pry into your business, just like always.

“Josh, it’s none of your fucking business. Can you leave them alone for a second?” Sam says as he empties the box of rice into the insta-pot.

“No, it’s fine. I have big plans…” Danny bites his cheeks in as he denies himself a cheeky smile, swinging his bare feet as he sits on the counter. His eyes are boring into yours, and you swear just a simple word from him would have you on your knees for him, anymore.

“Big plans, huh?” you try to avoid his stare.

“Mmmmhm…” he says, grinning to himself. “Might have you running away and never coming back, though.”

You nearly choke on the sip of wine swirling in your mouth. Throughout the years, you will admit, your hookups had gotten more and more mischievous as time went on, both of you pushing each other’s boundaries just a little more each time. Nothing had ever gotten too crazy, but after his birthday last year, it was an unwritten understanding that not much was off the table, at all.

Sam plugs his ears with his fingers. “La la la I don’t wanna hear details!”

Jake pulls his wooden spoon from the sauce, turning to face all of you. “I do, I wanna hear it. Keep going. What’s the plan?”

“I’m not fuckin’ tellin’ you guys, it’ll ruin the surprise,” Danny argues as Josh hands him a glass of wine.

“Okay well you can tell me after her birthday then, right?” Jake pushes.

Emma steps in front of him, taking the now dripping spoon from his hand and running her tongue up the side to catch it from going into the floor. “Yeah Danny, maybe you should give him the rundown, maybe it’ll get his wheels turning,” she challenges, bouncing her eyebrows to Jake as she places the spoon back into the sauce. You laugh at her, feeling no embarrassment in the least.

“Get my wheels turning?! What is that supposed to mean?!” Jake yells, grabbing her waist from behind and spinning her around the kitchen.

You lock eyes with Danny again as he gives you a suspicious look of excitement, like he’s trying his hardest to keep his idea locked inside.

—---

After a rambunctious and wine-drunk dinner, everyone begins to file out of the house, stumbling away to either walk down the street to their respective homes, or catching a ride out with other friends to the nearest bar. You’re left behind again, like always, helping Danny with dishes and pouring out the remaining bits of wine left behind in the glasses.

“So, next week. The big 2-5. You still down for hanging out?” he asks as he dries the last dish, as if you would ever say no.

“Actually, I think I’m going to spend this year alone, ya know? Keep it low key, order some take-out and curl up on the couch,” you say with a cheeky tone.

His jaw hangs slack as he nearly drops the towel in his hand. “Really?”

You scoff. “No, Danny. Are you serious? We shook on it, and I don’t break my promises,” you laugh. You slowly walk toward him, the line between friend and more than a friend getting blurrier as time goes on. You want to put your hands on his bare chest, press yourself against his warm body, crane your neck up to meet for a sweet kiss, but you don’t. Because you can’t. Because he isn’t yours.

So instead you just simply stand before him, leaning a hand onto the countertop.

He lets out an audible sigh of relief. “Shew, good. I was about to be pissed at you, Y/N,” he breathes as he playfully shoves your shoulder. “Standing me up on your birthday…”

You smile as you realize your feet are carrying you closer to him on their own. You try to stop them, try to tell them no, but you can’t. Now you’re standing in front of him, your chests almost touching as you let your finger trail up his arm to his neck. “I’d never stand you up, Danny. Not in a million years,” you murmur.

You feel his body stiffen as you let your singular fingertip connect with his skin, your touch a featherlight drift. You glance down at his hand balanced on the cold marble countertop, his fingers tightening and loosening under the weight of his own want to touch you back. You hear him breathe in, fast and choppy as you begin to manipulate the line between friends and more, truly unable to keep it black and white no matter how much you try. Finally you let your eyes look into his, dark and brooding and looking a lot like they do after a few rounds of self-indulgence with you.

“Good,” he growls, “because I have a hell of a night planned for us.”

Us.

“Is that right?” you question, still trailing your fingertip across his arm and neck. You can see the chill bumps forming on his skin now, and you can tell he is physically restraining himself from succumbing to his mental constraints. You have to admit, you’re finding it very satisfying, watching his mind tell his body no. The muscles in his arms flex and tighten as you step closer, slowly tiptoeing to bring your faces close, your lips barely ghosting his.

“That’s very right,” he whispers, opening his mouth slightly as if he’s going to kiss you, but instead pulling back a little. The proximity is enough to make you feel soaked already, your entire body buzzing with fire for him.

“When do you want me ready?” you breathe, letting your lips graze across his, your finger now hooked behind his bicep. His hands are still gripping as he balances between the island and the countertop as he leans down to you, restraining himself still yet.

He’s inhaling and blowing air quickly through his nose, and you know for a fact that he’s holding himself back with everything in him. His jaw clenches hard as his eyes stay trained on your lips. “Want you right now, if I’m being honest…” His words make the butterflies in your stomach explode their wings.

You can taste the wine still heavy on his breath. “But it’s not my birthday, Danny…” you retort.

He takes a deep breath. “I’m getting to a point where I don’t care.”

You swallow it down. Maybe your thoughts are mutual… Your heart is absolutely racing, like it would do when you found out your elementary school crush liked you back. You don’t even know what to say, at this point, you want him so badly…your vision blurring with the mental snaps of the two of you wrapped up in one another again.

“You should care, we have an agreement,” you admit through your teeth, as badly as it hurts to say it. “We set our rules.”

He scoffs hard. “I don’t remember signing my name on any dotted line, Y/N,” he spurts back, making you feel that drop in your stomach again. He wants to break the rules, too.

You bite your lips in, deciding to cut your losses. You step back from him, disconnecting your finger from behind his arm, and stepping away. The flushed look on his pink cheeks is enough to make you want to run back into his arms, and the look on his face makes it seem as though he just lost the one thing in his life he never planned on having, anyway.

“I asked you a question, Danny. When do you want me ready?” you say strongly.

He closes his eyes and recenters, swallowing down his thoughts. “Uh, uhm. F-Friday. Around 8.” He finally cleans up his expression and meets you with a smile again. “Be ready to celebrate.”

—--

DANNY POV

Friday rolls around more quickly than you thought it would. The group had decided to rain-check family dinner this week, planning on celebrating Y/N’s birthday the following weekend when everyone would be in town at the same time.

Your palms had been sweaty all day just at the thought of what tonight would hold, and you realize that you hadn’t been this anxious for a night together with Y/N, yet. The nerves are positively eating you alive, but you shove them down, knowing that you shouldn’t be having them in the first place. She doesn’t feel for you the same way you feel for her, and she likely never will.

It’s heartbreaking and wasteful, really, knowing that your sexual chemistry with her is only put to good use twice a fucking year when it should be being shared with her whenever you wanted to show her how much you really care, but. Here you find yourself.

She’s taking up all the extra space in your mind these days. You feel like you’re floating on air each and every time the vision of her face pops into your mind, you feel like you can feel the blood in your veins rising to a hotter temperature than you’ve ever experienced, and you find yourself wanting to give her all the things she’s ever wanted, and more. Your friend, one of your best friends, you’d say, unknowingly spinning herself into your life in a way that you can’t even tell her about.

That last birthday you shared together, your twenty-fifth, wasn’t the same as the rest before it. Sure, fucking her was high on your list of excellent sexual experiences thus far, but that last time, shit. Had your head spinning for days after. Never had a woman gotten you more fucked up than she did after that night. Two nights, really. That was when you knew it was real. When you wanted to ask her to stay, don’t go… be with me here and don’t ever leave… But your pride got the best of you. So you let her walk out, taking every single last bit of hope you had to make her yours with her as she walked out your bedroom door.

Could she not see it? Did she not notice how horribly you want her, all the time? Surely she doesn’t think you’re just being nice when you do little things for her… offer to change the oil in her car, take her lunch to work, send her every single funny meme and video you have ever come across simply because you know they’ll make her laugh…

Apparently not. But you don’t want to push too hard, too soon, either. If it’s meant to happen, it will. Hell, you hadn’t even told Sam about these feelings you’d been having. No one knows. This is a secret you’d kept bottled up for months now.

You come back inside after a quick trip to the grocery store and gently place the items from your arms onto the island, making sure the champagne bottle doesn’t tip over and break. You stick the bottle into the fridge and remove everything else from the plastic bags before rushing into your bedroom to make sure it’s presentable.

While she was at work, you’d spent the majority of the day cleaning up the general guy-ness of your bedroom, putting on a fresh set of sheets and giving the bathroom a good wipe-down. You’d never cared this much, for what she thinks of your surroundings…

…But you want tonight to be special. You want this birthday to be her favorite one, yet. And you’re determined to do so. You’d placed various candles around the surfaces of your bedroom, trying to make it romantic, but not so much that it will make her think you’re trying too hard.

When you decide that your room is as neat as it’s going to get, you go back into the kitchen and tear into the small cardboard box that’s been hiding away on top of your refrigerator for almost a month now. You’d seen an ad for it while scrolling instagram or something, and you knew right then that you had to get it. Your birthdays spent with her were becoming more and more experimental, and the idea for this year had fallen right into your lap.

You rip the packing tape off the box, letting it fall to the wayside as you open the flaps, finding the perfectly wrapped 2 and 5 candles in all their glittering glory. Shiny, crimson red wax with metallic gold trimming, long wicks and a thickness that regular store-bought candles just don’t have. You smirk as you pull them from the packaging and lay them in front of her small cake- chocolate with white buttercream icing. Her favorite. A glance at the clock on the stove lets you know you have an hour until she gets home, so you scurry off to the shower to get a last-minute scrub before you inevitably hear her coming through the door.

—--

Your stomach nearly falls to the floor when you hear the front door unlatch, and you find her a tired and flustered mess after her long shift. You busy yourself on your laptop, trying your best to seem more involved with what you’re doing than watching her unload her things from her arms onto the table.

“Hey birthday girl,” you mutter without looking back at her. “How was your day?”

You feel her lean all her body weight across the back of the couch beside you. “Long,” she huffs, “but not bad.”

You find the confidence to turn your head to her, finding her resting her head into her palm as she eyes you. You have to reel it all back in as you feel her so closely in your presence again.

“Good,” you reply, keeping it short. “Not too tired to skip our date?”

She hums a sweet laugh. “No. Most definitely not.”

“Are we…leaving the house? I’m trying to decide what to wear…” she asks shyly.

You have to remind yourself that she’s your friend, there’s nothing to be scared of, you do this all the time…

“No, actually. We’re staying home,” you reply.

Home. Your home, with her.

“Eight o’clock?” she reiterates.

“Yep, on the dot,” you tease as she stands to make her way to her end of the house.

She sways down the hallway, tossing her jacket over her shoulder as she disappears into the shadows. “I’ll meet you in the kitchen.”

—---

A few hours later, you’re leaned on the island swirling a lowball glass of tequila, waiting for her to emerge from her bedroom. You’d been standing patiently, fashionably early for your birthday date in the kitchen as you listened to the faint sounds of her music playing as she got ready.

Your nerves are already shot, the tequila doing little to assist in qualming the nervous anxiety swirling through you. So when you finally hear her bedroom door open and her steps coming down the hall, you have to tilt the rest back in hopes that it will hit you a little more quickly.

She’s dressed cute, but comfortable, and you can tell she did her hair that special way that you’d complimented a few weeks ago. She smells like sweet sugary flowers mixed with the woodsy smell of rain, and just her scent as she approached you was already driving you insane.

You meet her in the middle of the kitchen, grabbing her hand to twirl her around into your embrace. “Happy birthday, gorgeous,” you mutter, your face falling into her hair for a second.

Her arms lift around your neck, squeezing just a little as she places the sweetest kiss to your cheek. “Thank you, Danny.” You allow yourself to hold her for just a second, your right hand gripping the wrist of your left at the back of her waist.

“You hungry?” You ask as you pull away from her.

“Yeah, whatcha making?” she replies, taking a seat at the island.

You grab the box of the frozen pizza you’d previously thrown in the oven, displaying it for her.

“Oh my god, my favorite!” she squeals. “I’m so excited.”

You laugh as you fold the box up, cramming it into the trash can. “Knew you would be. It’s not a five-star birthday meal, but. Let’s be honest. I can’t cook for shit, and you love this pizza more than you love a lot of things…”

“No, you’re so right. I’ve actually been craving it for a while,” she giggles.

“Wait, I also gotttttt….” You make your way to the fridge, pulling out the bottle of champagne.

“Shit, pizza and champagne? You know exactly how to make a girl happy, Daniel.” She blushes a little, and you know you’re on the right track for the night.

“You gotta open it, though. It’s bad luck if someone else opens the champagne bottle on your birthday,” you lie, scooting the bottle to her across the countertop.

“You’re crazy. Give it,” she rolls her eyes as she takes the bottle, twisting the key seven times and removing the wire casing. She stands from her chair, gripping the bottle in both hands as she searches for somewhere to aim.

“At the wall! Just not toward a window!” you warn, closing one eye as she begins to push on the cork. Finally it pops off, flying toward the wall as the bubbly pours from the neck of the bottle. “Get it, Y/N, get it!”

She cups her lips over the overflowing bottle, slurping up as much as she can before it flows into the floor. The two of you laugh as you bring two glasses over, letting her pour them up. Just then the timer for the pizza goes off, and the sound of the beeps reminds you that time is ticking, making your nerves rush for the main event.

——-

After stuffing yourselves with pizza and downing the bottle of champagne, the two of you are piled up on the couch sharing a six pack of some crazy peach flavored beer she’d bought last week.

You’re seated on the couch as she reclines across it, her legs in your lap. You’d talked a lot tonight, like more than you maybe ever have before. Sure, you’d been friends for many years now, but majority of the time, you’re surrounded by the other guys always intervening on your conversations, or interrupting your discussions.

But after three hours of deep exchange, you swear you could talk to her until the end of time, and never get tired of it. She looks natural with her bare, sunkissed legs draped across your lap, and your hand that’s mindlessly drifting over her thigh and knee looks like it belongs there.

Her drunken laughter bounces off the walls and right into your chest, making your entire self beam with happiness and adoration for her. The way she takes up space in the home you share gives you an inexplicable feeling. Roommates doesn’t even begin to describe what you want to title your living situation with her.

Your faces are blotched red and tears are falling from your eyes as the two of you come down from a laughing fit, and a sweet recovery silence falls over the both of you. Her eyes are bloodshot from the alcohol, and her face is flushed from the belly laughs.

“You’re really pretty, Danny,” she flits, making you whip your head her way.

“What?” you ask, embarrassed.

“You’re pretty. Well, you’re handsome, of course, but. You’re also pretty,” she explains, her words making you feel shy.

“Oh, thank you, Y/N. Don’t think anyone’s ever told me that before…” you respond. Your hand grips into her thigh a little bit as your head falls back onto the couch cushion. You meet her eyes, the both of you staring at each other while everything else in the room disappears. You hold the gaze for a long while, each passing second making your breathing pick up. Fuck, she makes you nervous.

Finally, she stands, pushing her hair back behind her ear as she reaches for you to take her hand. “Take me to bed, Danny…” she whispers.

Okay.

You slowly stand, keeping her hand in yours as she pulls you into the center of the room. Like magnets, your bodies are pulled into one another, your hands finding both of hers as you turn to walk her backwards down the hall to your room. You move in slow motion as the two of you glide across the wooden floors, taking your sweet, special time.

You take her chin between your fingers, and push her hair back again before leaning down to press your lips to hers. It’s gentle and sweet and slow, her lips parting only just a little bit as you guide her down the long hallway. You allow yourself the indulgence of her lips, the feeling of her tongue gently swiping across yours, the flavor of everything that she is. It’s all perfect, she’s perfect.

Her hands finally find your face and hair, entangling themselves like they always do, pulling you further into her. For this only being the sixth time you’ve done this, it feels like the most natural thing in the world to you. It doesn’t make any sense that you waste your time thinking about it, instead of giving her the loving that she deserves.

But you plan on showing her tonight. You may not be able to tell her, but damned if you can’t try your best to show her.

“Wait, I almost forgot,” you pause as you approach your bedroom door. “I’ll be right back. Stay here,” you command, squeezing her shoulders. “No peeking,” you whisper as you watch her eyelids close.

You’d already strategically placed her cake on the table in your room, with two forks and no plates. But the last finishing touch is the sporadically placed candles. You grab your lighter from your nightstand and light them one by one, watching as the flickering flames cast a warm glow across your walls. Perfect. Lastly, you place the 2 and 5 candles in the center of the cake, but wait to light them.

You slip back out into the hall, finding her still standing with her eyes closed. You grab her hands and pull her to walk toward you. “Keep them closed.”

Her smile lights up your entire world. “What are we doing, Danny? I’m scared…”

“Don’t be scared, babe. S’just me…”

You pull her inside, instructing her to sit down on the bed as you grab the cake and lighter. You balance it in one hand and flick the lighter with the other, lighting the wicks of both the number candles.

“Open your eyes.”

Her eyes flick open, finding the room completely illuminated with orange glow. “Ah, Danny…” she gasps, glancing around the room, and finally to the cake in your hands in front of her.

“Hm hm hmm hm hmmm hmm…” you hum the Happy Birthday song, your voice a bit shaky and jittery with nerves. “Don’t forget to make a wish,” you say, watching as her eyes flick to yours, then back to the cake in your hands. She closes her eyes for a few seconds before opening them again, and blowing out the flames of her 25.

“You wanna know what I wished for?” she asks.

You shake your head. “No. But I hope it comes true.”

You set the cake down on your nightstand and you sit back down beside her on your bed. You bring her in close again, letting your forehead balance on hers before you make contact. You swear to it, you could get lost in kissing her more easily than you could get lost in a foreign country. You’d kissed her a hundred times before, but lately…now…

Things move slowly, things move sweetly…normally the two of you waste no time in ripping one another’s clothes off, biting and scratching and devouring each other like you’re starved, but tonight feels like it deserves more attention than that. It deserves to be appreciated.

Your hands drift to the bottom hem of her cream-colored eyelet lace dress, your hand drifting up her thigh. You pull the dress as you go, revealing her thong hugging her hip. Your hand slips below the waistband, and you run your fingers along it and down the front pantyline, the backs of your knuckles skimming across her heat. She whines a little at the contact, and you feel your vision growing blurry.

You continue kissing her while slowly letting your hands explore her in a way you’ve never let them before, taking special care to pay attention to your every move. The kiss becomes more longing when you let a digit slip into her folds, feeling her wetness coating your finger for the first time in six months. Her hands grip onto your shoulders, pulling your upper body into her. You push her back to lay on the bed, never once disconnecting your mouths.

Her left knee is bent into the air while the other one lies flat, so you push it to the side a little as your hand still hides in her panties. Her hand is yanking at the back of your hair as your featherlight touch drifts up and down, finally landing on her sweet spot. She cries quietly into your mouth when you land on it just right, using your middle finger to swirl her wetness across it.

She sits up a little, reaching to your back to pull your cotton t-shirt over your head. You disconnect for just a second to help her, and toss it to the floor. “Mmm there you are,” she mumbles, her hands rushing across the skin of your chest and arms while you go back to work.

You feel her legs spread, giving you the ok to move further. You let your two middle fingers dip inside of her to the hilt, her muscles already tight and twisting around you. “Fuck baby, you’re tight…” you pull away long enough to say. With your words she tightens around you on purpose, clenching herself as you begin pumping your hand in and out of her. You start to wonder if you’re the only one she’s slept with since December. Not that it’s any of your business, but, lately you’d decided that your feelings for her had gathered so heavily in your chest that that six month gap would be worth it, if it meant she could be all yours.

You watch her face in awe, suddenly feeling no ounce of shyness in the least in watching her come undone around your hand. Her bottom lip bites into her mouth as her eyelids flutter open and shut, and the sounds that escape from her lips make you realize how beyond ready for her you are.

You continue pumping your fingers in and out of her, feeling her drip down onto the bed sheets below you. “You wanna let go like this for me, baby?” you ask, having trouble keeping your breaths even.

“No. Yes, but no…” she concedes. “Wanna… want you…”

You smirk. “Go ahead, Y/N, we’ve got all night. You know how we are...” You take the opportunity to twist your fingers inside of her, turning your arm so that your palm is now pressed against her heat instead of perpendicular with it. You lean down and lick a stripe up the side of her neck as you leave your fingers buried deep, stopping the pumping altogether and instead wiggling the tips of your fingers against the spot deep inside her.

“Fuck Danny,” she breathes. “Keep it there keep it there…” Her eyes squeeze shut as you watch her chase her high, her hand squeezing at your pec and gripping onto it with everything she has.

It’s impressive really, how much you’d learned her body after just being with her a handful of times over the course of three years, learning her ins and outs and what drives her crazy for you, and stowing them away at the back of your mind until the next birthday.

You make quick and heady work of brushing your fingers across that spot, pressing your palm against her clit and adding just the right amount of circular pressure in both places. Her legs fall open even further and her head tilts back, all of her muscles tightening as she cries out, giving you her first orgasm of the night. And you had barely even removed any clothing yet.

When she’s done, you gather up her wetness and pull it onto her stomach under her dress, letting your middle finger massage it onto her skin. “Fuck…” she breathes out, wiping the hair from her face. “That didn’t take me long,” she laughs.

“No, it didn’t,” you agree, sitting up on the bed. “Must be excited to see me.”

She sits up and stands from the bed, pulling her flowy cream dress up over her hips and hiking one knee after the other across either side of you. You lean back away from her straddle, resting your arms back on the bed as you get a good look at her, already glowy. She reaches up and clasps her hands behind your neck. “Very excited to see you,” she admits shyly.

“Hm, really? You see me every day,” you poke, trying to feel out her level.

“Yeah but we can’t do this on random Tuesday afternoons, or in front of our friends, now, can we?” she presses, letting her hips fall onto your lap. You reach one finger to her chest and trail it up to under her chin, pulling her into you. Your heart begins pounding as you fall into a ravenous kiss again, this time bringing more heat than you even began to touch on a few minutes ago. Your hands fall to her waist, pulling her down onto you as she moves her knees to sit closer, pressing your chests together. Your hands travel across her thighs and to her waist, then finally around to grip her ass.

Though your tongue is burying itself deeply into her mouth, you’re metaphorically biting it. You want to tell her that yes, you do want to move things in another direction with her, you do want to hold her hand in front of your friends, you do want them to know how crazy you actually are for her. So in an act of boldness, you try.

“Maybe not in this regard, but they probably wouldn’t mind a little PDA…”

She giggles as she wraps her hands in your hair. “PDA? Like flirting with each other? In front of them?”

“Yeah, just like that. They already know we sleep together sometimes, they have to know we, ya know… are allowed to let it flow into days that aren’t our birthdays…” you swallow the words down, feeling so anxious that she may take them the wrong way, or hate them altogether.

“You think they’d make fun of us?” she asks, her mouth kissing behind your ear.

“Oh yeah, they would. But, I’d be there to slap the fuck out of them if they embarrass you,” you respond, squeezing your hands into her hips.

Her tongue is tickling the sensitive skin around your ear as she lays tiny pecks near your hairline. “I think I’d be okay with a little flirting… sometimes it almost happens naturally, anyway,” she says, making your heart rate soar again.

“Really?”

She nods, coming up to face you now, her cheeks tinted the palest pink. “Mmhm, sometimes I have to stop myself from touching you in front of them. You know, just innocently.”

You swallow hard, knowing the exact feeling all too well. When you’re surrounded by your friends making dinner or whatever it may be, you’ve found yourself having to stop your hand from grazing across her lower back as you walk by, from leaning down to kiss her cheek, anything, all the time. She’s right, it does feel natural to want to do that.

“I do, too, actually,” you admit. “You… It feels normal to me. Just a reflex.” You buck your hips up into her as you speak, your body begging you for some contact.

The whimper that leaves her chest ignites that deep carnal instinct inside you, wanting, needing to connect yourself with her again. You gather the soft fabric of her dress in your hands, signaling to her that you want to pull it off. She lifts her arms above her head, allowing you easy access to tear it all the way off of her. As her hair cascades back down over her shoulders you realize that her dress didn’t require a bra. So, you’re left staring at her left only in her thong, her breasts sitting more perfectly than you remember them. “You’re so gorgeous, Y/N, I swear…” you grit, raking over her body with your eyes.

She hops off of your lap, motioning with one finger for you to stand. When you follow her order, she falls to her knees, working her fingers to unbutton your jeans. “Fuck, wait,” you say. Her eyes glance up at you through her eyelashes. “Pull your hair back.”

She does as you say, pulling her hair into a ponytail at her neck while you undo your jeans with one swift movement. She gets done with her hair quickly, swatting your hand away and pulling your zipper down. “Take them all the way off, Danny,” she demands, and the backs of your knees hit the mattress as you lean over, kicking them and your underwear off one leg at a time. You kick them to the side as she walks on her knees closer to you, taking your already over-hard dick in her right hand, licking her lips just a little before she swirls her tongue around the tip. Everything had just happened really fast, her urgency making your blood pump. Her tongue flattened out against you, and she pressed you all the way to the back of her throat, almost making your knees buckle under you.

She grabs your hand, pulling it toward the back of her head. You take the signal and wrap your hand around her hair just as her lips meet your base, and you hold her there, feeling the saliva already beginning to pool in her mouth. “God damnit, baby, fuck you’re so good at this. Don’t even need my help…” You loosen your grip and allow her to drag her lips across your shaft, adding hard suction as she slowly ascends off.

“Want your help, though. Do it…” she motions, so you do. You use her ponytail to guide her up and down you, forcefully pushing and pulling on her head just like she likes it. The first time you did this, you were a bit thrown off, as you’ve always just let whoever was pleasing you do whatever they felt. But she likes it when you tell her when and where you want her to be.

The candles are physically heating up the air in the room, providing a heat that feels like a heavy blanket on your skin. Your mind flashes with remembering the special candles, and you feel a spark of excited electricity shoot through your body. The baby hairs around her face are beginning to stick to her forehead as her eyes glance up to look at you, doelike and pleading.

She hums onto your dick as you squeeze her cheeks together, taking a hard hold on her jawline as your opposite hand guides her motions. Your head falls back as you feel the knot tightening in your stomach, but you can’t let go just yet. Her tongue swirls around your tip and the sounds that her mouth is making sound downright ruthless, spurring on your albeit degraded current situation.

She moans onto you as her lips pull on and off, all by the force of your hand. You pull her hair particularly roughly, watching as the string of saliva connects her mouth to you, still. You take the second to sit down on the bed, physically unable to stand for another second without losing all will to hold yourself up. She moves in closer and digs her nails into the soft skin between your legs, sending a shake through your body. “Mother fucker baby, keep going with that…” you say, biting your bottom lip as you watch her. She scratches at your skin a few more times before you finally decide you can’t take it anymore, pulling and pushing on her head at a quicker pace.

“Mhmm…” she moans as she nods her head ‘yes’, and you feel the deep rumble in your stomach, telling you that you’re not far. She kisses her lips down tightly on you this time, flicking her tongue in all the right places as you feel her throat tightening around you.

“So fuckin’ deep baby, shit…” you say as your hips jut forward a few times, your dick hitting the back of her throat. Suddenly you feel your world falling apart as you let go into her, the dim orange light of the room turning into flashes of black and white as you send your streams down her throat. You wrap her hair around your hand as you hold her just where you want her, pulling her closely into you as you hiss through your release.

When you finally take a breath and your vision unblurs, you watch as she wipes her chin with the back of her hand, standing to her feet again and joining you on the bed, a completely smug and satisfied look on her face.

“The fuck are you grinning about, huh?” you ask, pulling her in toward you again.

“Nothin’, I just really love being the one to make you make noises like that,” she says, biting back another smile.

“Well, you’ve got me figured out, seriously,” you compliment her, and it was the absolute truth.

She shrugs you off. “Eh, I’m out of practice, really.”

Oh?

“No way, you’re like… well seasoned,” you kid.

“You dick!” she yells, stifling a laugh. “I haven’t even done that in six months.” You can tell she regretted saying it as soon as she did, suddenly avoiding your eyes and pulling one of your pillows up to cover her chest.

“...You’re kidding,” you breathe, truly in disbelief.

She shakes her head. “Lame, huh?”

“N-no, not lame. I–You haven’t, since…?” you stammer.

“Nope. Since your birthday. Go ahead, laugh at me all you want,” she says, motioning with her hand.

Her words hit you right in the gut. She hadn’t been with anyone since you…

“I’m not gonna laugh at you, Y/N. I… I actually haven’t been with anyone else, either.”

Her eyes meet yours in disbelief. “Really?”

You nod. “Not this time around.”

She sits for just a second, hugging the pillow to her. “Why not?”

You shrug, the nerves bubbling in your stomach. “I dunno, no one’s really…struck my interest. Not enough to bring back home, anyway.”

She pulls one shoulder up toward her ear. “Yeah, mine neither. I’ve…tried, ya know, but.” She swallows. “My birthday is my favorite holiday for a reason.”

You can’t stop the joy that rises in your chest, your extremities tingling and your heart beating in your ears as she basically admits she doesn’t enjoy anyone but you. She hasn’t made it work with anyone else in six months.

“Six months is a long time to wait, Y/N,” you mutter quietly.

She pulls the pillow down, moving closer to you on the bed. “Not when what you’re waiting for is all you can ever think about.”

Fuck… it feels like your head is going to float right off of your shoulders out of a pure high at her admission. Your chest gets warm and your mouth goes dry, and you swear if you were looking in the mirror, there would be stars in your eyes.

She feels the same.

After a few seconds of disbelief, you find the nerve to answer her, a hardly audible whisper as you bring your face close to hers. “I think I’d wait for you for fifty years, if you wanted me to…”

Her hand cups your jawline as she grits her teeth, pulling you into her again. Your mouth wants to devour her all over again, but instead you take note of the tender moment, laying a sweet kiss to her lips that has a promise behind it.

Her eyebrows furrow together when you pull away, a look you’re familiar with but also one that told you she’s confused. She opens her mouth to speak, probably to ask you if what you’d just said is true. But nothing comes out. She just stares at you in disbelief.

Your hand finds her hip as you yank her body in with a little force, almost nose to nose now.

“Yeah, you heard me right. I’d wait for you, I will wait for you, if that’s what you want me to do…” you say, feeling so anxious for the outcome of this conversation you could almost be sick. It’s either going to end really really well, or so badly that you’d end up alone in bed tonight. But the risk outweighs the outcome, and you are ready and prepared to take it, whatever it might be.

She swallows hard as you watch her eyes become glazed. Her hands are balancing around your neck and across your shoulders, and you can feel the heat rising in her palms as her digits nervously fidget. It feels like a hundred years pass in the time you wait for her to respond, and you contemplate taking it all back. Making up an excuse, saying just kidding, we’re just friends… But the panic stops as soon as she finds her words.

She shakes her head. “Wait for me… you’d, you wanna actually…?”

“Be with you more than just twice a year? Yeah, Y/N, I really would. You– you kinda have held a really special place for a long, long time now.” You swallow again, letting the words you’ve kept pent up for so long finally flow, but still feeling a little embarrassed by the admission. “I just never said anything, ya know, because of our arrangement. It worked so well for us but. I… I don’t know. It feels like more to me, lately.”

She nods hard again, a tiny smile crossing her lips as her eyes stay trained on yours. But she stays quiet.

“Can you say something, Y/N?” you ask through a huffed laugh.

“It is more, Danny. It’s been more to me for a long time, too. You take up more space in my mind than I’d like to admit,” she says, now avoiding eye contact.

Wow… finally. Finally, there it is.

“Why do we both deny it?” you whisper.

She shrugs, massaging the back of your neck. “I don’t know. But I don’t really want to anymore.”

You wrap your arm around her torso, pulling her weight from underneath her as you lay her flat on her back.

“Then we don’t,” you say as you tower over her, the candle light flickering in her eyes and off of her skin. Her body is beautiful, there’s no denying that, but what has always gotten you is how she carries herself…how her body language is always reflective of exactly what she’s feeling in the moment. And right now, as her midsection arches up into you begging you to touch her again, you have no other thoughts than to appease her.

Your mouth travels down her chest and across her belly, leaving long, lingering kisses across her body. As you get closer and closer to her heat, you move to kneel on the floor just as she had for you earlier, slipping your hands underneath her to pull her to the edge. Even in all your wild, drunken sexual adventures with her, for some reason, you’d never concentrated on this. You’d never gone down on her. It wasn’t that you didn’t want to, as it was one of your favorite activities, but the immediate pull to one another on these nights always ended up with getting straight to the good part. Neither of you really ever left time for the embellishments.

She perks up onto her elbows as she gazes at your face between her legs. “Danny…”

“Let me show you what I mean, baby,” you more ask than say, running your tongue down the inside of her thigh. Her body stiffens as she still gives you that look of hesitation. Your tongue drifts over her opening as you tease her, barely ghosting overtop of everywhere but her sweet spot. She shudders again. “Unless you don’t want me to…”

“No! No I want you to. Please. You’ve just…” she finally relaxes her head back down.

“I know I haven’t. And that’s on me. But I wanna show you that I’ve been thinking about this, doing just this since the last time I had you…” you explain, finally delving your tongue deeply into her. Her reaction is immediate, her back arching up again as her hands find your hair. The sounds she makes make you strain to keep it together, and the taste of her finally on your tongue is enough to make you want to stop altogether, and get to the good part, but you savor this instead, realizing you’ve wanted her like this for so long.

You squeeze your lips over her, inching your tongue languidly inside of her and moving it back up to circle her clit. When you finally find it, she squeals, exhaling as her hands rip into your scalp. You glance to the head of the bed, pulling down a pillow and positioning it underneath her back to get a better angle. Your hands snake under her again, squeezing her ass as you pull her in.

“Fuck Danny, why did you hold back on this for so long?” she asks through a pant, her legs opening and closing over your ears. “Shit…” You realize that you don’t really have an answer.

She’s writhing and fighting herself, and you can tell she’s nearing the peak, until she backs off again, likely wanting to make this last. She hums and purrs as you work over her clit, using your tongue and lips to kiss every single drenched inch of her. You feel like you can’t get enough, until you remember. Her birthday gift.

You slow things down, pulling away a bit until you see the disgruntled look on her face at the disconnect. “No, don’t stop… don’t go..” she begs. Her expression is desperate, and you want nothing more than to feel her lose herself at the mercy of your mouth. So you dive back in, this time with a purpose.

“‘M not goin’ anywhere, baby,” you manage through kneads of your tongue against her. You bring your arm up between the two of you, using your elbow and hand to press her legs apart while your free hand’s two middle digits enter her again. Your tongue never lets up, circling and swirling furiously as her muscles tense. You take that as your cue to work harder, feeling her clenching around your hand already. You pump in and out of her again, making sure your tongue is pointed exactly where she needs it.

“Fuck, Danny baby… yes…” she breathes, and the pet name sends a shockwave straight to your dick, hearing her utter your name followed by a word so personal. You cup your lips over her clit, using a quick and harsh suction motion as you flick your tongue across it.

When she finally lets go, her cries and slurs of curses echo through your room, the most beautiful sound you’re sure you’ve ever heard. Her hands stay tangled in your locks, forcing your face into her as close as you can get. You savor it all, the sight, the sound, the taste… you wonder why you ever denied yourselves this piece of the puzzle after all this time, but then again, maybe saving something this intimate for right now is exactly what was supposed to happen.

Her body jolts and shakes as she lets the pleasure wrack through her, and you devour every last bit. You crawl up her once she opens her eyes again, her hand freeing from your hair and back down to your face, pulling across your cheeks and mouth as she wipes her wetness from you. Her voice is strained as she finally speaks. “Fuck that was…”

“Fucking delicious,” you finish, pressing your lips to hers again, making her nod into you.

“Yeah, fucking delicious,” she agrees, wrapping her legs around you and using the leverage to pull you onto her. If you weren’t rock hard before, you surely are now after witnessing her falling apart for you like that. You can tell she’s already ready to get things going again, but you stop her, pulling away like you had done before. You stand from the bed, watching that same look of disappointment come across her features.

“Don’t look at me like that, just wanna give you your birthday gift,” you say, walking around the bed to your nightstand. You grab the cake and place it carefully into your lap, grabbing the lighter again as she comes and sits beside you.

“I already blew out my candles, Danny,” she says, balancing her chin on your shoulder.

“You did, but I didn’t tell you that these are special candles. Not meant to be blown out,” you explain, flicking the lighter to life and igniting them both.

“Not meant to be blown out? Why–”

“Because they’re really an oil,” you say, putting the lighter down and grabbing the plastic tray under the cake again, holding it up between you. “These are candles specially made for us to let melt and drip onto each other. Not like regular wax, these don’t burn as hot. Once they start to melt a little, they turn into a body oil.”

“Like a massage oil?” she asks, and you nod.

“Mmhm, see, you can already smell the lavender and bergamot. They had birthday cake scented, but. I thought that might be overkill,” you smirk. Her eyes drift down to the candles with intrigue, and she bites her bottom lip in. “We don’t have to, if you don’t want to. But, I’ve heard good things…”

She picks up one of the candles from the cake, carefully licking the icing off the bottom. She holds her opposite hand out palm down, and lets the melty wax oil drip down onto the back of her hand, a few droplets of dark red liquid dripping down between her fingers.

“Doesn’t burn at all,” she says, reaching to grab the cake from you to set on the table again. She then takes your hand, letting the wax drip down onto your hand, too.

The sensation is more of an extremely warm electrical pulse than the burn you’d expect, and it quickly dulls as the oil cools. It doesn’t harden like normal wax, instead it just turns into a thick oil. You take your other finger and rub it across your skin, feeling the softness of the lotion-like liquid sink into your skin. “Wow, no, it feels good,” you agree.

“Lay back,” you suggest, and she does, handing the candle off to you.

You question the situation, not knowing exactly where to drip the oil to make her feel the best. You assume maybe her chest and stomach, maybe even down her legs, if she feels up to it. You hold the candle directly above her sternum, raising your eyebrows in final question before you let it drip.

“Yeah, go ahead,” she says, her hand landing on your knee.

The red liquid finally falls through the air, a singular drop that lands and splatters across her chest. Her mouth opens just a little, but then her surprise quickly turns into a devious smirk. “Feel good?” you ask.

“Aha, yeah, actually. It burns pretty bad for a split second but it goes away…shit, do more,” she pleads.

You go along with her request, drizzling tiny drops between her breasts and down her stomach, nearly completely coating her in the oily liquid.

“You sure you like it?” you ask as you watch her face repeatedly turn from a surprised grimace into a devilish look of satisfaction. Thankfully, that second look, you’re more than familiar with.

“Yessss…” she hisses as another drop falls onto her skin. “I feel so…” her mouth lies open as you continue letting the oil drip and pool, the floral scent filling your nostrils.

“So what?” you ask.

Her eyes bore into yours as she bites her lips between her teeth, her hand still gripping hard into your leg muscle. “I like the pain. It’s like… I don’t know how to explain it…” she breathes. “Like a sensation I don’t want to ever end.”

You take your free hand and gently massage it in, taking time to work over her nipples and stomach. “God, that feels so good…” she whispers, her hand now digging into the muscle of your thigh. You place the candle back on the cake, turning to pay special attention to rubbing your hands over her muscles.

The heady scent of the oils mixed with the residual alcohol still flowing through your system brings a whole new dizziness to the atmosphere, and you feel as though the whole situation is only becoming heavier. You reach over to your phone sitting on the night stand, and flip your music to some psychedelic playlist. The distorted guitar and scratchy bass sounds bring you both to a new plane, and you take the moment to recognize the woman you have your hands on, and how she feels underneath them.

Her eyes flutter open and closed as your hands drift, massaging the soft oils across the mountains and valleys of her body. “You want me to do you?” she asks, eyes flicking back to the candle.

You shake your head. “No, shh. It’s your birthday, just relax.”

She smiles a little as she gets comfortable again, moving her body a little closer to yours on the bed. Your hands travel up her shoulders and neck, slowly kneading the tense muscles. Then you move on to her hips and waist, squeezing at the thickness of her. You feel yourself getting turned on all over again just by touching her this way. You watch as her hands drift across the tops of her legs, gripping at her own thighs. The visual is almost too much, watching as her fingertips pull at her skin. You reach to grab the still-lit candle, adjusting your body to sit beside her legs.

“‘M gonna try your legs, that okay?” you ask.

“Yeah, go ahead…” she mumbles, her eyes still rolling around behind her eyelids. You move between her legs and let the wax drip onto her inner thighs, not really caring if any lands on your comforter. “Ffff…” she hisses, biting onto her bottom lip. Her face contorts from pain to pleasure as the oil cools, and you replace the candle, making your way back to massaging her.

Your hands nearly cover the entirety of her upper thighs, your fingertips digging into the skin just as hers had done a second ago. You push the oil all around, paying special attention to start at her knees, and slowly work your way up. You have half a mind to lick into her again, seeing it now from this view, but you stop yourself. Your thumbs rub into the creases where her legs meet her heat, and she practically moans out at your touch.

“You’re being such a fuckin’ tease, Daniel,” she says, her hands cupping her breasts.

“Mmm, I don’t think you understand how hard it is to stop myself right now…” you huff.

She bites her lips again and shakes her head side to side, obviously feeling the same emotions as you. This doesn’t feel like it normally does, and you feel more anxiety than ever to satisfy her. You watch as she reaches her hands for you, signaling for you to get things going.

“Don’t stop yourself then,” she stutters, her voice almost shuddering. Her hand grips into your hair again and pulls you up, your hands crawling up either side of her as her nails claw and pull at your back.

Suddenly your mind finds itself again as you remember to grab protection. You balance your forehead on her sternum, both of you already panting and sweaty as you pull yourself away to reach for your bedside drawer.

“No, just—it’s fine,” she says, grabbing onto your arm.

You meet her with a puzzled look, not quite understanding that she’s changing her mind on a whim. This is one part of your agreement that you both have always stuck to.

“What? I’m—“

“Just…it’s fine. Don’t get it,” she says, giving you a look that could kill. “It’s been six months…right…”

You think it over, rolling the thought over and over in your mind. “You sure?”

She nods, “Yeah, yeah I’m sure. I’m…we’re good. I promise.”

You feel your heart growing in your chest, feeling a new wave of anxiousness and…something else bubbling up. It’s almost blinding you to even think about what’s about to take place, this already feels so different than before.

The slick of the oil across your chests make your bodies slide against one another as you line yourself up, both hands on either side of her head. Her hands gently drift across your hips, a devilish smirk sneaking across her lips.

“Gonna feel you for real for the first time…” she says gently, looking more excited than you’d seen her in ages.

“Yeah, no pressure,” you answer, pressing yourself through her folds. The sensation alone is making you quake, feeling her against you without a barrier.

“What, you nervous or something?” She asks, digging her nails into your scalp.

You clench your jaw, feeling the tip enter her just a little bit. “Kinda.”

“Daniel…shut up. No you’re not.”

“I swear,” you reply, pressing in just a little more. “Different now, like this.” You feel your heart beating from your ribcage.

Her hands grip behind you, pulling you in towards her, but you hold back. “S’okay, just me… please…” Her legs lift and her ankles cross at your lower back.

You push forward, telling yourself it’s okay to fill her all the way to the hilt. It’s now or never, and you’ve waited so long for this, wanted her for real for so long. You make sure to watch her face as you bottom out, taking in every single detail that you can.

HER POV

It’s almost dreamlike…

The dim and comforting glow of the room, the sweet scented oil that’s relaxed your muscles, the dying feeling of excitement from the gift Danny had gotten you…

But mostly, the feeling of his body towering over you and buried as deeply as he can get, finally without the use of protection.

You’d been wanting Danny for real for longer than you’d like to admit, now, and now that it’s finally happening, it’s almost as if you couldn’t have dreamt it up any better. Of course he feels nervous…you do too. Something in the air has shifted, and it’s not just because you both had finally admitted to wanting more than your predisposed agreement.

“Fuck, Danny…” you can’t help but yelp in a pitiful high-pitched squeal. Feels just like you always thought, but somehow better.

Much, much better.

He begins to pick up a pace after you lock your ankles against him harder, forcing his hips to find a rhythm. “You good?” he asks, almost shyly.

“Yeah, better than good, shit…”

His left hand grips your jaw with a little force before he brings his lips to yours in a heated mess. His thrusts are working in perfect time, hitting you in just the right spot to tighten the knot deep inside you already.

“You feel so perfect baby…god, never thought I’d have you like this…” his lips are hot against your skin as he speaks, his teeth nipping at your sensitive spots every few seconds.

“Leave a mark, baby… gimmie a reminder…” you breathe into his ear, making the light nips on your chest switch into slightly painful lovebites that you’re positive you’ll be able to see turn into bright red marks tomorrow. He growls into your skin as his teeth sink in just enough to make you squirm beneath him.

Though the room is flickering with a tangerine glow, the multicolored vibrance of the light flashing behind your eyes brings a whole new depth to what you’re experiencing, an overwhelming feeling of unwarranted pleasure that is undoubtedly ripping you apart at the seams. He’s all you’ve ever wanted, better than anything you’ve ever felt, and he’s been living under the same roof as your best friend for way too long.

You can tell he’s getting closer by the tumbling of his thrusts, but you swear you never want it to end. The euphoria taking over your mind is making you dizzy.

Suddenly he slows down a little bit, rolling himself to the bed but keeping himself inside as he plucks you to straddle his lap. Your hands find his pecs as you begin swirling your hips, feeling him at a completely different angle, now. His curls are laid out behind him on the white blankets, and his chest is gleaming from the oils.

You begin bouncing on him, his hands gripping into the thick muscle of your thighs as you grind on him. His head leans back, his jaw moving between hanging open and clenching tightly. “Y/N, shit…I’m not gonna be…”

You can feel the twist in your stomach, the deep tightening letting you know that you are close, too. You lean down and press a slow and needing kiss to his lips, showing him all the emotion that’s currently coursing through your body in the act. “Me too baby, just do it. Want to feel you…” you stammer through the ravaging feeling of your impending orgasm. You squeeze him hard, sending you both over the edge, tumbling down together in a flustered mess of echoed praises for one another.

He stays buried inside you for just a few seconds as you both come down, neither of you wanting to be the first to speak when you finally catch your breath. After a minute of silence, you let yourself come out of the cloudy bliss, sliding yourself up and off of him.

As soon as your body hits the bed beside him, he’s craning over you again, gathering you up into his arms into the most loving embrace you’d felt from him yet.

“Every six months isn’t gonna work for me anymore, Y/N…” he admits, fully submitting himself with an honest look in his eye. “I just…”

“Me neither, Danny. It’s not enough. Won’t ever be enough,” you admit, taking his face in your hands. And it was true, after experiencing him tonight in the way that you did, there was no way you’d ever be able to wait for him again. There’s too much emotion involved that you’ve both been hiding for too long. Too much still yet to explore.

“Stay, please? And not just for tonight,” he whispers, his thumb gliding across your cheek.

You nod. You know there’s nothing on this earth you want more than to wake up every day next to him…the friend who has always been just a little bit more.

“Okay,” you concede, sliding your body into his.

“Okay? Yeah?” He asks with an excited lilt.

“Yes. I’m not going anywhere,” you respond. “Couldn’t leave you if I wanted to...”

The low chuckle that rumbles through his chest and onto your cheek pressed against it feels so longingly familiar that you wonder why you ever thought it wouldn’t work out to begin with. “What took you so long?” he asks, wrapping and squeezing you hard.

“Could ask you the same…” you laugh into his chest.

You fall asleep with him that night a different woman than the one you were when you walked into his room, and not just because you’re a year older, now. You’d finally gotten everything you’d ever wanted.

Danny nuzzles his face into the crook of your neck, sleep already lacing his voice. A soft feeling of comfort washes over you as you realize how safe and protected you feel in his arms, and how you aren’t too shy to admit that this feels more right than you could have ever anticipated.

Now you won’t have to wait six months to share your love with him again. You’ll be able to share it with him tomorrow, over coffee in the kitchen.

He presses a sweet kiss to your temple as you let the heaviness of sleep overtake you, already falling into a dazed place of complete contentment.

“Happy birthday, baby.”

Taglist:

@wetkleenex-gvf @britney-gvf @gretas-sweat @josh-iamyour-mama @highway-tuna @bestfriendsallstrungout @jjwasneverhere @gretavanbrie @writingcold @thewritingbeforesunrise @myleftsock @edgingthedarkness @its-interesting-van-kleep @jjsooobsessed @ageofcj @starcatcher-jake @capnjaket @cozyjakey @jakekiszkapunchmeintheface @stardustjake @dancingcarbon @builtbybrokenbells @gretavangroupie

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lottesreads · 2 months ago

Text

Why Me? - Part 12

Pairing: Bob Floyd x Mitchell! Female Reader (Callsign Mantis)

Warnings: Forbidden relationship, some angst, mentions of nightmares, mentions of PTSD, swearing, mentions of anxiety and panic attacks, therapy (we love), mentions of death/being sick, mentions of limb loss (it'll all make sense),

Word Count: 9500

Summary: Everyone prepares for the storm, and you're left with a lot to think about as some forgotten feelings come back.

A/N: Hiiii guys, I am so sorry this took SO LONG. For some reason it was so hard to write and school started so ya know how that goes. But hopefully this makes up for it?? I love all of you and as always I hope you enjoy. Reblogs and comments feed my life force just btw

p.s. you know I love to hear what you think, so fire away

Masterlist

Bob knows he messed up. He knows that, and as much as he wishes he never put you in this situation to begin with, he can’t undo what he said. Things have just gone completely downhill since he told you how he felt and it just…. feels like it’s all his fault. You’re quiet, secluding yourself, and almost scared at work now. But there’s not much he can do if you refuse to open up to him. He can’t help but worry for you, but it’s up to you now. If you want to talk to him, great. If not, he just hopes you talk to someone else.

The wind has slowly been gaining speed since early this morning when he took Sylvia out for a run. It was his last chance to get her out of the house before the shit hit the fan and he wasn’t gonna keep her cooped up anymore than she had to be. He’s been in a daze since yesterday. Can’t quite seem to focus on anything he puts before him, including the several garden gnomes and pieces of porch furniture belonging to his neighbors.

“You sure all of this will fit in the garage?”, he asks while carrying a chair down from the front steps.

“Oh I’m sure”, Rich replies. His eyes have been more focused on placing their gnome collection inside the house, but he’s been making room for everything else in the garage. He’s skeptical as he eyes the rest of the room, they’ve still got to fit their cars inside, too. He’s sure if he moved a couple of those storage bins to a higher shelf he’d be able to-

“You’ve already done enough for us, why don’t you come inside for some sweet tea, huh?”

“I’m ok”, he tries to brush him off.

“I’m not taking no for an answer Bob”, Rich offers with a raise of his thick eyebrow. Bob gives in, like he does most of the time with these two, and follows Rich inside. Harry sits at the table as he wraps up the rest of their pointy-hat clad lawn ornaments, but pauses at the sight of his husband.

“How’s everything going out there?”

“We’re just about done”, Rich responds from behind the fridge door, “I thought we deserved a water break.” Bob laughs to himself, he really hasn’t done much except move a couple pieces of furniture. He probably could have been finished by now if they didn’t keep offering him water or tea.

“Oh that reminds me”, Harry turns to his husband, “We need to bring the hose from the side of the house in. I forgot when I finished watering the garden yesterday.” Bob isn’t able to take one step in the direction of the door before Rich urges him into the seat across from Harry.

“Don’t you worry about that one young man, I got it.”

“It’s really no trouble-”

“I insist, you take a seat and drink your tea. You can take a turn listening to Harry complain for once.” Rich slides a glass of sweet tea in front of Bob before patting Harry on the shoulder and stepping outside.

“I just wish I could help you boys more”, Harry starts. “But ya know the leg starts acting up whenever a storm is coming.” He emphasizes his point by tapping his metal prosthetic onto the side of the table, shaking it the slightest bit. Bob’s never sure if he’s talking about the actual prosthetic hurting, or what’s left of his leg, but at this point he’s too scared to ask. All he knows is that whenever he gets a call from Harry early in the morning, there’s bound to be a storm before the day’s over. This time however, he got his weather from the news, like a normal person.

“So-”, Harry starts as Bob takes a swig from his glass, “Are we going to be seeing Miss Mitchell anytime soon?” The sweet tea halts in Bob’s throat, sliding down the wrong tube and causing him to choke on the beverage. He does his best to not drop the glass onto the table in order to stop himself from spraying the drink everywhere, but Harry looks like he could care less as his brow raises. Bob clearly was not expecting him to bring you up, and Harry’s squint gives into the fact he’s happy to catch him off guard.

“I’d make an assumption, but I’m not quite sure how to make one out of that kind of reaction.” Bob continues trying to clear his throat by coughing, but Harry waits.

“No”, he chokes, “She uh- she won’t be coming by anytime.” Harry hums to himself as he turns back to the bubble wrap.

“That’s too bad. She was quick, I liked her.” Me too, Bob thinks to himself. He just gives him a slight frown at the news. “Seemed like you were pretty fond of her, too.” Bob’s cheeks heat up at his insinuation, and he tries to make a run for it.

“Ok! I should probably go help-”

“Sit back down”, Harry groans. Bob begrudgingly does as the man says as he begins to toy with the condensation forming on his glass. “All I’m saying is, you both obviously like each other. What gives?” All he can do is shake his head at the thought. There’s too much, but maybe he’ll understand.

“There’s just a lot of other stuff involved.”

“Oh yeah, like what?”

“Well, for starters her title isn’t ‘Miss’... it’s Lieutenant.” Bob’s gaze flicks over to watch Harry’s eyes widen in realization.

“Shit. Is she a WSO, too?”

“Nah, she’s a pilot”, he smiles, “A damn good one.” Harry chuckles as he crosses his arms.

“I shoulda known.” Bob furrows his brows, silently asking him to explain. “She just had this look in her eye…Can’t really explain it.” Bob knows the one. The silent determination he sees whenever you climb into the cockpit. No matter what happens on the ground, once you ascend that ladder… you’re focused. And no one can take that away from you.

“So that’s it then? You're just gonna let her go?” Harry probes as Bob shakes his head. He focuses on a grain of wood in the table, avoiding the man’s gaze.

“It’s against strict rules”, Bob shrugs, “I don’t want to be the reason she gets into trouble. It’s better if we just leave it.”

“Is it?” Bob grabs his glass of sweet tea and takes a sip before Harry leans forward in his seat, “If I know anything about you Bob, it’s that you’ve got a level head on those shoulders. And from what I can tell about Lieutenant Mitchell, it’s that she does, too. But you can’t forget underneath all of that, you have hearts. You can’t leave that out of the equation.” Bob stills as he taps his finger on the rim of his glass. Yeah, Bob has a heart, but you do, too. And who knows if deep down this is what you really want? If he’s what you really want.

His thoughts are interrupted by Harry once again, this time as he finishes wrapping up the last gnome.

“Mitchell, huh?” Bob mindlessly nods. “You don’t happen to know if she’s got any family who served, do ya?”

“Yeah, actually. Her dad just happens to be our captain. Pete Mitchell-”

“Maverick?!”, Harry all but yells. “That cocky motherfucker’s still in service?” The front door slams shut as Rich makes his way back inside.

“What cocky motherfucker are we talking about?”, he asks as if this is a normal topic of conversation for the two of them.

“Pete Mitchell”, Harry tells him as he stares at Bob in awe.

“Now that’s a name I haven’t heard in a long time”, Rich replies as he grabs himself and Harry their own drinks. Bob pivots in his seat as Rich brings both glasses to the counter, eyes wide in shock. “Don’t tell me-” He’s obviously already made the connection as Harry nods at him. He simply shrugs and continues to pour their drinks, brushing off the fact that Harry seems to be stuck on. Something he thought Rich of all people would want to talk about.

“Did you fly with him?” Bob directs the question at Harry. He rolls his eyes.

“For a very brief time. He’s a few years younger than me, but always acted like he was the best of the best. Didn’t even win the goddamn Top Gun trophy.”

“Well”, Rich chimes in as he sets the glass in front of Harry, “That wasn’t entirely his fault.” Bob’s eyes unintentionally squint as he tries to think back on what he actually knows about your dad. There’s very limited information he sought after Hangman revealed he flew with Rooster’s dad, and- then it hits him.

“Wait”, he stops the two men, “Were you guys here when they had the accident?”

“I wasn’t”, Harry responds, “But Rich was. He was actually one of the-” Rich’s hand claps down on his husband’s shoulder, effectively stopping him from finishing the story. He grants Bob a forced smile.

“I was. It was a… a very sad day.” Rich keeps moving, leaving his glass of tea untouched as he moves the box of packed up gnomes to the living room. Bob leaves it at that. If there was more to the story he wouldn’t want to probe where he’s not welcome to.

After helping move the small outdoor coffee table into the garage, he insists on parking their cars himself. Just to make sure he did leave enough room for everything to fit. And with his many years experience with Tetris, he’s able to pack anything that the wind might sweep away into safe hiding spaces for the night.

-----------------------

If the puffy eyes that greet you in the mirror are any indication that you’d been crying, the wad of tissues scattered around your trash can would certainly do the trick. It was an ugly cry, one that you realized was futile to resist against the snot dripping down your nose. You’d cried more in the past couple months than you had in the past five years. Not to mention you haven’t cried to the point where you kept a roll of toilet paper to use as tissues next to your bed since you were a teenager. But even then you had mastered to cry in silence, to not alert anyone or “bother” someone with the noise of your anguish.

It wasn’t a question that was the reason for your headache. You even forgot you got hit in the face until you tried wiping the sleep from your eyes, only to pull your hand away as soon as it brushed near the red and purple bruise.

“Son of a bitch”, you muttered as you made your way to the bathroom. The wind howls outside your room as you splash your face with cold water, hoping to reduce the swelling before inevitably seeing your father. Gently, you wipe your face with a towel, taking a good hard look at the aftermath from the night before. You huff out a breath before tearing your gaze away from the mirror, gathering the tissues you’d thrown half-heartedly in the direction of the trash can the night before.

Your father is already up and moving as you descend the stairs. Granted, you did allow yourself to sleep in today. He’s sitting on the couch, slipping his shoes on when you make eye contact. He immediately smiles with a grimace upon seeing your face.

“Hey sweetheart”, he greets you, “How you feeling this morning?” You simply scoff and turn to the kitchen. The coffee machine is still warm, your dad already having at least his second cup of the day.

“Like I got hit in the face”, you respond. The machine hums while you let it work, and you grab an emblazoned Navy mug from the cabinet. You turn to lean on the counter, watching him finish lacing up his boots. “Where are you going?”

“Well, Penny’s moving everything at the bar and I figured since I took care of our stuff yesterday, I’d go help out. Plus it’ll be my last chance to take the bike for a spin this weekend.”

“And they say chivalry is dead”, you comment as the coffee seeps into your cup. He chuckles and makes his way over to you. You turn, mug in hand as he walks up. He grimaces again at your face, but his shoulders slump as he notes your puffy eyelids. “How’d you sleep”

“Alright”, you mumble.

“I can stay here if-”

“Dad”, you groan as you roll your eyes, “What am I, five?”

“No- but I’m just saying, if you need me I’ll be here for you.”

“I know, but I’ll be fine.” He seems unsure as he glances between you and the front door. “Go”, you urge him, “Be a knight in shining armor.” He laughs again as he bids you goodbye and leaves. The rumble of his motorcycle tapering off as he exits the neighborhood.

Truly, you are fine. You’re not great, but you’ve been worse. In fact, this is probably the most down time you’ve had in a while. If you were still talking to Bob you would probably text him and see what he was up to, but alas. There’s not much to do except waste away for the rest of the day. Which is exactly what you do. You turn the t.v. on and throw your feet up. They almost hit the large box Bradley left yesterday. You guess you could see what’s in there for you, but you’re already so comfortable and it's just so… far away. And soon enough, your eyes are drooping shut again.

-----------------------

The day passes by painlessly as you switch from folding laundry, to eating whatever is left in the fridge. Your headache slowly dissipates with every bite of food and drink of water, but as it gets closer to evening, the noises from outside get louder and louder. A leaf from a palm tree being ripped from its home and hitting the side of the house, ran pattering, and thunder booming in the distance.

Deciding you’ve had enough of scrolling aimlessly through your phone, you move back to the living room and turn on something you can watch without much thought. The cardboard box Bradley brought over still sits on the coffee table, and huffing out a breath you decide to take the lid off. There’s a bundle of old photos, a couple of dirtied up baseballs, and an old envelope you move to look at, but your phone rings before you can inspect it further. Your dad’s face appears on the screen and you swipe to answer.

“Hey dad, what’s up?”

“Hey kiddo, listen, there was a lot that needed to be boarded up and taken care of at the bar, I just barely got back to Penny’s. I know everything’s taken care of at the house, but the wind and rain are picking up. I don’t want to leave you alone, but it might be safer just to spend the night here. Are you gonna be ok?”

“Dad, I'll be fine. I’d feel better knowing you’re at Penny’s rather than driving your bike in the storm.” You can hear him sigh on the other end. Even with your permission you know he still feels guilty leaving you.

“Are you sure you’ll be alright?”

“I swear. I’ll be fine.”

“Ok sweetheart. Promise you’ll call me if anything happens or you need me, ok?”

“I promise”, you can’t help but smile through your words at his protectiveness.

“Alright, well I love you, and hopefully things will slow down and I’ll be back tomorrow.”

“Love you, too, dad. Bye.” He bids you goodnight, even if it isn’t 8 o’clock yet, it feels like much later with the storm clouds covering up any chance of dying sunlight.

Turning back to the box you pick up the envelope, there’s an unexpected weight to it and you hold your breath at the sight of Carole’s handwriting. There’s one word on the front and it’s simply labeled “Bug”. Your once steady hands shake as you trace the folded edge that has been sealed for almost two decades. You can’t open it fast enough, but at the same time you’re hesitant to see quite possibly what her last words to you could be. Slipping your finger under the seal, you try to minimize the damage as it rips open. As if it were an extension of the woman herself.

Inside sits a lined piece of journal paper, folded neatly into thirds. But your eyes linger on the item weighing it down as you huff out a breath in disbelief. Your fingers reach inside, and once completely taken out of its hiding place, a silver chain with a butterfly pendant hangs from your hand.

With the necklace still wrapped around your fingers, your eyes water as you reach for the note, unfolding it. The paper shakes as your heartbeat quickens. And her voice fills your head while you trace the all familiar cursive with a featherlight touch.

My Darling Bug,

Did you really think I wasn’t going to notice this found its way back into my possession? I don’t know why or when you did this, but I thought I told you it wasn’t mine anymore. I gave this to you for a reason, Bug. I wanted you to know that Bradley, your dad, and I will always be with you. I think you might need it now more than ever. It might be a little different, but I don’t want you to look at it and be sad I’m not with you. I want you to look at it and be happy that I still am, no matter what.

I know I made you promise me to be brave. And you have kept that promise, so if you think you haven’t, you’re wrong. But maybe I should have worded it differently, because you don’t need to be brave like anybody else. I want you to continue being brave like you. Because I know you are. Even so, I want you to remember how I got this necklace in the first place. It all happened because Goose was brave enough to ask. He taught me that being brave doesn’t mean you’re not scared anymore. It means that even though you are scared, you do it anyway. You don’t run from it, you face it head on. He always told me I wasn’t born with the fear part of my brain intact, but he was wrong. When we lost him, I knew for a fact that part of my brain was there. I was so scared, but I knew I had to keep going. If not for me, then for Bradley and your dad. Heaven knows your dad was scared out of his mind, but that’s what makes him one of the bravest people I know. He kept flying, and then soon enough, you came along and changed our lives completely. And I know I’m rambling, but I just need you to know how much you mean to me- to all of us.

So I don’t want you to live your life in fear or with regrets, wondering the same things, so please; continue to be the brave girl I know you are. It’s hard to take those first steps. But it is so worth the risk, because you deserve everything good this world has to offer.

And this may or may not make it easier, but I just ask that you take this back and wear it with pride. I will always be with you, bug. And I can’t stand another moment having this sitting in my jewelry box, collecting dust when you can wear it and put it to much better use. You deserve it. I love you very much, don’t forget that.

P.S. I know Bradley’s a big boy and he acts like he can take care of himself, but I know he’ll need you just as much as you need him. Same with your dad. Be there for each other.

-Love, Carole

You move the letter away from under your face as you feel the tears start to fall. You’re just quick enough as they hit your lap instead. The necklace is now safely encased in your grip as you take in a ragged breath. All this time- You can’t stomach the thought. This entire time, these past 16 years you’ve been separated from this last piece of Carole you never even knew existed. And the necklace you thought was lost to time now sits in your palm. You hold on to it. Tight.

You still don’t let go as you gingerly place the letter back in the envelope. Deciding you need to put these two things in a safer spot than your living room, you walk up to your room and go to the shoebox above your closet. Inside, you move the velvet box with your Academy ring to the side, making room for the letter. You almost place the necklace in with it, but you’re not going to disobey Carole by not putting it on the next chance you get.

With the silver chain still wrapped in your hand, you put the shoebox back, just about tripping over your flight suit in the process. In everything that happened yesterday after therapy you must have forgotten to put it in your laundry basket, or hang it up at least. As you pick the jumbled green fabric up, your ears prick up at the sound of something hitting the floor. The gleam of a copper coin catches your eye and you drop your uniform altogether, opting to pick it up instead.

Carole’s words swirl through your head as your heart rate picks up. You stare at the penny in one hand, and open your other to reveal the silver butterfly. The memory of Bob’s crooked smile fills your senses and your heart beats faster again. There’s a phantom ache of his hand cradling yours, gently placing that first penny into your palm on the tiled floor of the locker room. Even before you kissed there was this urge to want to get to know him from deep inside the dark recesses of your heart. From places you thought you blocked off and boarded up after your last boyfriend. You left no room for weakness, no room for anyone to have the upper hand, but yet, you feel safe around Bob. You still do, even after it tore you to shreds resisting that same urge to talk to him, to look at him. It scares you, how after only meeting him a few months ago, it feels like he knows the darkest parts of you, and still wants to learn more. To care for you in a way that you haven’t let someone in a long time. And you want to do the same for him.

That urge sends chills up your spine as thunder booms in the distance, the once small patter of rain picking up as it hails on your roof. Clenching the penny in your fist, you delicately hold the necklace in the other, and you swear the lightning reflects off the silver butterfly, almost winking at you. In the glint, you hear Carole’s voice from when she first gave it to you, and again through her writing. “Be brave”, her whisper echoes. And in that moment, your heart beats louder, anticipating what you know you’re going to do next before your brain has the time to catch up. Placing the necklace on your side table next to your bed, your feet sprint down the stairs the moment the chain leaves your fingers.

You can hardly differentiate the thud of your feet from the thunder that is somehow getting closer by the second. Throwing on the nearest jacket and lacing up your shoes, you grab your keys and head to the garage. Your old faithful Toyota lays dormant as you jump in, and start the engine. Or at least try to. It sputters a couple times as you turn the key again, and again.

“No, no, no. Please”, you plead as you take a deep breath, holding out hope as you try one last time, “C’mon!” With a final twist, the engine roars to life. “Yes! Thank you!” The garage opens and closes with the click of a button as you peel out of the driveway, probably a little too fast, but who would be crazy enough to be on the streets in these conditions?

The rain doesn’t stop on your account, and both hands are white knuckling the steering wheel as you attempt to maintain the little control you have of your vehicle over mother nature. Your windshield wipers are moving as fast as they can, but it’s little to no good as you traverse the streets. You might have been better off with a canoe.

Nonetheless, you’re so close. Your destination is only a couple blocks away, practically in sight as your car lurches forward, sputtering, before ultimately slowing as you pull to the side of the road.

“No, no, no, are you kidding me?!”, you scream as you hit the steering wheel. She was doing so good! What happened? Placing the car in park, you remove the key and try again, but nothing. Squinting through the rain pattered window, you make out the street sign up ahead as it sways in the wind. This is ok. You can do this. Clenching your jaw and ensuring your phone is buried deep in one of your pockets along with your keys, you push against the gusts of wind and open the car door.

Your face is immediately pelted with ice-like bullets, raining down on you without mercy. Even with the hood of your jacket on, it does no good as you run across the sidewalk and turn down the street. A few house lights are on, but you can barely see as the rain washes over you in sheets. A gust of wind almost gets the better of you as you try your hardest to hold the hood to your head, creating any kind of cover you can. You are so close to throwing in the towel. So close to going back to your car and hiding away until the storm is over. But you didn’t come this far just to turn back. You will not give up.

Shining just a bit brighter than every other house on the street, your destination is in sight. Just one block and your feet make the decision for you to move faster. To run like you never have before, because this time you’re not running from anything. You’re running towards something. The rain hits you quicker, but it’s hard to feel it soak through your clothes as your feet pound against the pavement.

Your shoes slip on the step to the front door, and your fist meets the entrance much sooner than you were expecting. It creates a loud knock, but there’s no sign of life behind the door. Gaining your footing back, you knock once more. Nothing. You knock twice again. Damn it. He must not be able to hear you through the storm’s havoc. You don’t care anymore, you weren’t thinking when you hopped in your car, and you aren’t trying to stay out in the rain all night. Your knuckles are knocking repeatedly on the door, and that’s when you hear Sylvia bark. She’s getting louder as she moves closer to the door and you continue your knocking, hoping he’ll hear you over her.

“Please, c’mon”, you mutter to yourself as your teeth chatter against the words. Your knuckles are going raw from the sheer cold and the fact that you’ve been hitting them against the door for what feels like 20 minutes. The door opens with a rush of warm air and you’re greeted with the halo wrapped face of someone who only feels like warmness and comfort. The light shines around his features as they contort at what stands in front of him.

“Mantis, what the hell?!”, he yells through the wind while reaching forward to pull you inside. “Oh my god, are you crazy?!”, he exclaims as he holds your arms in place. Your teeth are chattering as he tells you to stay put before coming back with a towel that he promptly throws over your shoulders. It doesn’t do much good as you’re soaked to the bone, but he’s frantically looking for more before you reach out for him.

“Bob-”

“What are you doing here?!”

“I- I’m being brave”, you explain through the pounding rain and thunder. He pauses just for a moment, then shakes his head as he stares at you in utter confusion.

“Did you.. run here? Mantis, are you ok?”

“Bob I’m fine-”

“Do you know where you are? How did you get here?”

“Bob!”, you finally raise your voice and he meets your gaze instead of your rain-drenched form. “I will explain everything, but please just let me say what I came here to say”, you breathlessly supply. He looks back to you, hesitant, but nodding to let you continue.

“Ok”, he whispers. You can barely feel your fingers, or your toes for that matter, but your shaky hand reaches into your pocket and grasps onto the single penny you came here with. The only thing that you made sure to bring.

“What did you mean by this?”, you ask as you hold it out in front of him. “When you gave this to Phoenix, what did you want me to make of this?” His eyelashes flutter in a series of blinks as he silently takes in a breath. Without meaning to, the coin shakes in your hand, and he rushes an answer before you have to stand there any longer.

“It means what it’s always meant. I know I messed everything up, but I still want you to feel like you can trust me, and talk to me. Because you can. I know how scary it can be, and it’s…rare to find someone you feel so comfortable to be around and talk to about the nitty gritty parts of your life. And I like to believe I was that for you for a little bit, ‘cause… you were that for me.” Your heart melts at his sentiment as you continue to drench the walkway of his home.

“Now can you please tell me why you drove here in the middle of a hurricane?” You swallow, hoping whatever fears you have fall to the back of your throat to make room for what you need to tell him. Because, here you are: Soaking wet, standing in Bob’s home, with nothing but a penny and the knowledge that even if you’re scared, you can do this anyway.

“Bob”, you sigh, “You have not messed anything up. In fact, you did something I was too afraid to do.” Taking another deep breath, you ignore the lines riddled in his forehead and continue.

“I have been scared for most of my life. I know sometimes I act like I’m invincible, but I’m not. But I am also sick of being scared. I am sick of pretending. Life is too damn short, and for once instead of just acting like I am, I am trying to be brave. I can’t let this be another ‘what if’. I won’t let you be that. You deserve to at least know how I feel.”

“Mantis, you don’t have to-”

“No, but I want to”, you nod with authority, solidifying to Bob that this is a risk you want to take. You take in another deep breath as it fills you with courage. “Bob, it’s hard to explain, but- you make me feel brave. But at the same time you also scare the shit out of me”, you can’t help but laugh as the crease in his forward melts a little bit. “You scare me because you care so deeply for the people around you, and you’re so generous, and kind, and I can’t help but want to be around you all the time. And- and I’m rambling aren’t I?”, you ask as he breathes out a miniscule laugh. And then you’re gifted with the slightest uptick of his mouth. Just enough for you to know that he’s still listening. But when is he not?

“Anyway. I just- it kills me that you think so lowly of yourself, and I need you to know that I care about you. A lot. And if it hasn’t been blatantly obvious by how I’ve kissed you”, he blushes and looks down at his feet as if he didn’t kiss you with just as much passion, “I like you beyond the point of being friends. And- I feel like you see me. Not just as an aviator, not just as a woman, but as a person. But that’s also scary in itself because you’ve seen my flaws, and each time you didn’t look away. You stayed. You stayed and made sure I didn’t stay down.”

“You didn’t need me for that”, he shakes his head. And you smile through your shaky breath. “You don’t stay down long.”

“Maybe not, but it’s easier to get up when someone lends you a hand.” He stills at your words and your mind tracks back to find the courage you came here with. It’s not hard when Bob’s standing right in front of you with Carole’s voice running through the back of your mind.

“I’ve tried brushing these feelings off, and staying away from you, thinking I was doing what was best for the both of us. And… I don’t know about you, but it’s only been like two days without talking to you- and I miss being around you.” The tell you’re about to cry starts with your throat straining, and at this point you’re trying everything to talk through it. “I don’t want to mourn you while you’re still here-”, you choke out as you clench your jaw to stop your teeth from chattering any louder than they already are.

“Hey”, Bob whispers as he moves closer to you, “It’s ok-”

“I don’t want to lose you when I’ve never even had you”, you breathe a shaky breath as he places his hands on your shoulders, the warmth permeating through your jacket and towel.

“Whoa, where is all this coming from?” Your breathing is rapidly increasing, as he stares down into your eyes, concern painted through the way he looks at you. That and something else you’re too hyped up on adrenaline to identify at this moment.

“It’s ok, just breathe for me. Can you do that?” You nod as you stare back at him, his hands reaching out to grasp your own, placing one on his chest. Just like he did in the locker room. God, it feels like it was ages ago.

“Jesus Christ, you’re freezing”, he mutters as he puts both of his hands atop your own. Your fingers thrum over the soft cotton of his shirt, and you’re almost certain his heart is beating just as fast as your own.

“Your heart’s beating really fast”, you comment as you watch your fingers underneath his.

“Are you sure that’s not your own?” You exhale a laugh, but continue to feel that familiar thump from his chest.

“No, that’s definitely you.”

“Yeah”, he manages a nervous smile, “That usually happens when I’m around you.” Your hand is slowly gaining feeling back under the protection of his own, and your eyes meet his. He whispers your name softly, and this time you don’t flinch. You don’t break away, you don’t blink. Your teeth are still chattering, the noise distracting him from whatever he was going to say.

“Let’s get you into some dry clothes, yeah?” Silently you nod as he gives you a brief smile. He’s seemingly already accustomed to the idea of you staying the night, something you didn’t think of before running out of your own house. Taking your hand in his own, he leads you to the bottom of his stairs before jogging up to what you presume to be his bedroom. You wait as you attempt to clench your jaw to stop chattering your teeth, but that’s when you spot a shiny black nose poking out from the corner of the living room.

“Hey Syl”, you whisper while bending down. She retreats almost immediately at the sight of you, but reappears at the familiar voice. You realize you must look kind of scary with your jacket hood plastered to your face. In an attempt to get her to come closer, you peel your hood off of your head and tempt her again with your outreached hand. “It’s just me sweet girl”, you whisper as she moves forward to sniff your hand. Her tail starts a wag at the appearance of your face and you smile as she gets close enough for you to pet her head.

You’re scratching her ears as Bob returns from upstairs, now carrying clothes for you to change into.

“Ok, I’ve got some sweat pants and a t-shirt”, he explains as he sorts through them, “But I do have a sweatshirt in case you’re still cold.” He shifts his attention back to you as you stand and accept the clothes with a quiet ‘thank you’. Without the hood obstructing his view of your entire face, his brow immediately furrows at the shadow just to the side of your eye. He doesn’t get a good look at it before you’re turning to change in the bathroom. He must be seeing things. A shadow from your hair, the dim lighting, it just can’t be what he thinks it is.

Peeling your wet clothes off your body was something you didn’t think about while sprinting full speed down Bob’s street. But here you are, in his downstairs bathroom, admiring the softness of both the shirt and sweatpants he’s offered you. You’re soaked right down to your underwear, and rather than sitting uncomfortably in a wet bra and underpants, you decide to go commando. If you get cold enough Bob did offer you a sweatshirt. Tossing your wet clothes over the shower curtain, you slowly walk out of the bathroom. It’s quiet. Other than the occasional rumble of thunder, or whip of wind and rain against the windows, the only thing you’re aware of is your own breathing. Until you get into the living room and find Bob picking at his thumbs on the couch. He doesn’t notice you, and for the first time tonight, you hesitate. You run your fingers over the bottom of Bob’s shirt, holding it out slightly in front of your body. Just admiring how quickly he offered his own clothes to you. Your hair is slightly damp, but not dripping like it was moments ago, thanks to the towel he gave you when you first came in.

He must hear you shift on your feet, because soon enough his eyes follow your form in his clothes, the pants tight in some places, loose in others, but the large t-shirt does its job. He stops on your face as you give him a nervous smile and make your way over to the other end of the couch.

“Oh my god, what happened?”, he all but rushes out as you sit. His eyes are frantic with worry as you trace his concerned gaze to your cheek.

“Oh that”, you try to laugh, “It was an accident.” He swallows while he stiffens in his seat. Bridging the gap you left between the two of you, he catches your gaze as you look down at his hand.

“Mantis”, his voice darkens, “I need you to be completely honest with me.” He’s staring so intently into your eyes you feel like you’re center stage in a show you weren’t given the lines to. A kind of intensity you’ve never seen directed toward you from the man. “Did somebody hurt you?” You’re stuck in your spot, and without hesitating you answer him.

“No”, you breathe as you softly shake your head, “Bob, I promise you it was a complete accident. I was playing catch and wasn’t paying attention.” He eyes it one more time, and you see his hand twitch in his lap before it slowly makes its way to cup your face, turning it to take a better look. You hold your breath at the movement, but once his thumb strokes lightly over your skin you melt into his warmth.

“Well whoever you were playing catch with knows how to throw a pretty wicked fastball”, he mutters as he takes in the bruising along with the indent of the stitching.

“Yeah”, you sigh, not able to say much as he holds the weight of your face and much more in his gentle hand. “Rooster was a pitcher on his high school team.”

“You were playing catch with Rooster?” You let out a breathy laugh, knowing how confusing this must be.

“It’s a long story”, you tell him. “I just wasn’t paying attention.”

“And he still threw it at you?”

“I try not to make sense of Rooster’s actions anymore.”

“Next time you wanna play catch, you come to me. Ok?” His eyes are still on the bruise, analyzing it from every angle.

“Are you saying you won’t throw the ball at my face?”

“No. I’ll make sure you’re ready first.” His smile fades the tiniest bit, but his hand has yet to move. It’s quiet again until a particularly loud burst of thunder has him dropping his hold on you.

“Um, let me get you some ice.”

“I’m fine. My face, feet, and hands are pretty much still numb.”

“May I?”, he asks, reaching for your hands. You’re facing him now, and he turns to mirror your own crossed legs as his hands clasp your own. Slowly, without looking back at you, he brings them closer to his face and before you have the good sense to realize what’s going on, his warm breath fans over your dead fingers. Something flips in your stomach as he starts rubbing his thumbs over the back of your palms after each slow and agonizing breath.

The contrast in temperature hurts your fingers down to the bone, but you can’t seem to take them away from Bob. He stops the breaths just for a second as he rubs your hands in contemplation.

“Mantis… Why are you here?” You’re almost certain your swallow is audible as you stare down at your joint hands. He doesn’t push you when you don’t immediately answer. He only continues to soothe your aching extremities. But when he starts breathing on them again and his glasses fog up slightly, that’s when you truly start to feel the discomfort seep from your fingers. And that’s when you know you have your answer for him. Because he will truly put your needs before his own. His clothes on your back, his sight for your warmth, his happiness for your own. But he doesn’t quite know the true extent of your own unhappiness without him in your every day.

Your answer sits on the tip of your tongue, but truly, your brain speaks before you can formulate the words you need him to hear.

“I went to therapy”, you blurt out as you stare at him. God, why can’t your mouth just say what it needs to? Why is this so hard? Bob looks at your face at your admission, blinking away his shock at the volume at which you spoke them.

“That’s- that’s great.” He goes back to rubbing your fingers, ruminating on your words, then stopping suddenly. “It wasn’t ‘cause of me, was it?”

“No!”, you’re quick to correct him. “Not at all.. I mean it wasn’t your fault, but I did talk about you a little bit”, you admit bashfully. He nods, seemingly drawing his own conclusions. “It wasn’t anything bad. Just-”. You’re hesitant to tell him about your dreams, about why your dad called him that day. Why you were so fidgety and couldn’t even look him in the eye. But then you look back at him, and you know everything will be ok. He won’t run, or look at you with pity. He might be concerned, sure, but he’ll still be there for you.

“After Nat’s party, I had a nightmare. I haven’t had one in years, and it kind of rattled me. And then I had another one. They usually happen after I feel like I’ve done something I shouldn’t have. Something that would- make my mother mad at me.” He stiffens at your words, brows drawing up once more. He knows. And you don’t want him to blame himself. “But yeah, I got back in touch with my therapist. Gonna make it a regular thing now… but after my session she asked me to list three people who make me feel wanted. And it was very clear to me you’re on that list. And I hope I make you feel important, too. I know I haven’t this past week- and I’m sorry-”

“Hey”, he tugs your hands toward him just enough to get your attention, “You had enough going on, you don’t need to worry about me.”

“But I do. I can’t help it.” He whispers your name and averts his gaze from your face like he can't even bear to look at you right now. You didn’t think this was news, last time you were here he told you essentially the same thing.

“What?”, you whisper back.

-----------------------

Bob did not imagine even in his wildest dreams you would run to him in the middle of a storm. But here you are, pouring your heart out to him, your hands in his, his old t-shirt draped over your shivering body, but there’s still that tiny part of his brain telling him it’s too good to be true. And in reality, it is. Because what is he supposed to do now? What did you hope to achieve by coming over here? Your feelings don’t change the fact that this is still wildly against rules in place.

It might have been easier for him to deal with it on his own not knowing exactly how you felt, but now? He can’t put you in a position for someone to take your dream away from you. Especially after how much you’ve had to sacrifice to get to where you are. And there’s still so much for you to do.

“What do you want me to do with these feelings?” He finally asks and you’re caught off guard.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean- a few days ago when you came to me you were so sure this wasn’t a good idea. And now?” He searches your face for an answer in your silence. “What changed?”

“I found a letter from Carole. It was meant for 12-year-old me, " you can’t help but release a watery laugh, “but she just reminded me that some things are worth the risk.” You pause for a moment, squeezing his hands for reassurance before continuing.

“Our jobs are dangerous, and even if they weren’t, life is so precious. And I don’t want to continue breathing if I’m only half-living. I already did that, and I refuse to do it again. And I’m not asking you to do anything with what I’ve told you, I just had to let you know. And that might be selfish, but I know running from what I’m feeling isn’t fair. To you or me.”

It’s quiet again, you’re not sure if Bob is looking at you anymore, but your eyes are drawn back to his hands. One of the single greatest comforts you can’t help but indulge yourself in. A flash of lighting pierces the corner of your eye and the boom of thunder follows shortly after. It almost bleeds into the rasp in his voice as he speaks.

“Is it selfish if we both want it?”. Your eyes snap to meet his and you’re hit with that intensity again. It’s slightly masked by insecurity, but you can see how much this means to him. You’re so sure he can hear you release a sharp breath.

“What do you want-” Your thought is cut off by a deep rumble of thunder, almost shaking the structure of the house. You flinch as if the roof were about to collapse on the two of you, but you’re not catching a break as the remaining kitchen lights click off.

“Damn it”, he mutters under his breath. Bathing you and Bob in total darkness, you instinctively squeeze his hands and he squeezes right back.

“It’s ok”, his voice echoes as he tries to see anything around the darkened room. Sylvia whines from beneath her hiding spot as he blindly searches the coffee table for his phone, petting her in the process to calm her nerves. With his phone located, he turns the flashlight on and you wince at the harsh white light. Sylvia continues to whine even as she scurries out from under the table and runs up the stairs. He runs a hand through his hair as he stands and you’re left in his absence. Goosebumps crawling up your arms and legs force you to shiver and Bob sees it out of the corner of his eye.

“Here- you can take my bed. It’ll be way too cold down here.”

“Bob, no. I’ll crash on the couch”, his mouth opens to protest but you stop him before he even starts, “Plus, I think your daughter might need you up there.” He moves his hands to his hips, deliberating his choices until he eyes you.

“I mean- we could always, ya know…”

“What?”

“We could share my bed. It’s not like we haven’t already slept in the same bed together- Not that I’m assuming you want to! But it’ll keep you extra warm if we’re both there, and that way we’re in the same room and-” With a soft smile you cut off his rambling.

“I think that’s a great idea.” That crooked smile graces his face for the first time in what feels like forever, and your nerves are put at ease. You want to be the reason he smiles like that for as long as you’re able.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

He silently leads you up the stairs and offers to let you use the bathroom first while he tries to tidy up the mess you hopefully didn’t see through the lens of your phone’s flashlight.

There’s not much, just a couple of dirty shirts he didn’t have the time or energy to throw into his laundry basket. And then there’s the laundry basket of clothes he was going to fold today, but got distracted at Rich and Harry’s. Shoving the basket in the corner of the room, his eyes catch on the rain-pattered window. Palm trees sway in the wind, and thanks to a flash of lightning, he watches the street run like a river. He squints, trying to find where you parked your car, hoping the damage won’t be too bad.

The click of the door opening has him turning to you, brows still furrowed.

“Hey, where’d you park your car?”

“Oh, that. Funny story”, you laugh, “It stopped running about a block that way-”, you point up the street, “And I kinda ran the rest of the way.” His eyebrows shoot up to his hairline as you stand there chuckling.

“Mantis”, he sighs, “Why did you think any of this was a good idea?”

“I wasn’t really thinking, I just knew I had to talk to you”, you bashfully admit. A flash of lightning reflects in his glasses, and you’re brought back to your conversation downstairs. Your unfinished conversation. The hairs on your arms raise before Sylvia whines from underneath Bob’s bed.

The two of you glance back and spot her nose peeking out from under the frame. You’re on your knees, petting her head as Bob stands at the window.

“It’s ok sweet girl”, you coo. With the two of you distracted, he takes a minute to finish getting ready for bed. God, he just can’t believe you’re actually here. Granted, he wishes it was under better circumstances, but still. Stepping back into his bedroom, he’s pleased to find you already underneath the covers, your back facing him. His heart speeds up at you already so comfortable in his bed, but he gathers himself quickly before turning to close the door to the room. The bedroom the two of you are currently sharing… with his dog lying on his side of the bed.

“Before you say anything”, you rush out as you sit up, “She got up here all by herself, and I don’t have the heart to tell her to get down. So you’re just gonna have to look into those big brown eyes and be the bad guy here.” He bites down a smile as he pretends to deliberate on what he should do. Not giving in and telling you that she normally sleeps on the bed with him.

“Plus, I don’t think she’ll be as scared if she’s up here with us”, you add. With us. Yes, that word just came out of your mouth. And it might not be a big deal, but you just used that word and Bob is having a hard time not pinching himself to make sure this is all real and not another dream. Clearing his throat, he manages to cough out a “yeah”. Or something akin to agreement.

He starts to settle onto his side of the bed, and you scooch as far away from the middle as you can. Sylvia moves down the bed in between the two of you and you finally lie back on your respective pillows. You can hear his glasses hit his bedside table as his hand falls to Sylvia. There’s an unspoken tension in the room, and you’re not sure if you can wait until morning to break through it. But neither of you say anything. You just lie there like a lifeless body whose heart is also about to burst through her chest.

Another flash of lightning slices through the curtain, followed almost immediately by a horribly loud boom. Sylvia whines again and your hand falls to her. You knew his hand was there, but it doesn’t stop the shock at the feeling of your fingers brushing his. As your hand swoops over Sylvia’s fur he almost moves back as you stop. But that single touch in the dark makes you want more. So with a clear mission, you bring your hand back over her fur and start to slowly trace his knuckles and fingers. His hand turns over, inviting you to do the same to his palm before he halts your motions and instead intertwines your fingers. He’s still so much warmer than you are, and your hand melts in his. It makes you feel safe.

You don’t say anything as his thumb rubs your hand. The two of you lay in the backdrop of rain and thunder, staring at the ceiling as if it had some kind of hidden message you have to decode. Bob must find what his side says because he clears his throat before speaking.

“What you asked earlier, about what I want- I want you to be happy. Above anything else.” Your heart turns over as you face him.

“I want that for you, too… But you should know you make me really happy”, you whisper into the night. His hand flexes as his pillow rustles to your right.

“You mean that?”, his voice is clearer as he turns his head, and although you’re having a hard time seeing through the dark, you can imagine the look of fear and insecurity in his eyes.

“Of course I do.”

“Cause you make me happy, too”, he rasps, his voice somehow even deeper. And you just can’t help the way you move closer to him. Reaching with your free hand, you hold onto his bicep and rest your head on his shoulder. He welcomes it with a relaxed sigh as you get comfortable. Sylvia doesn’t seem to mind being squished in between your legs, and you’re happy for the warmth these two provide you.

There’s still a lot to talk about. A lot to figure out as to what happens next, but right now? You can’t seem to care what happens tomorrow because you’re content to hold onto Bob tonight. And as you feel him kiss the top of your head, you get that deep butterfly feeling in your stomach. The good kind this time. No overwhelming urge of anxiety or doom washes over you and you know everything is going to be ok. It has to be.

-----------------------

Hey Siri, play Fearless by Taylor Swift

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@mygyn

@luckyladycreator2

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#why me?#top gun maverick #bob floyd fanfiction #top gun fanfiction #bob floyd fic #bob floyd x reader #mavdad #robert bob floyd x female reader

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nethhiri · 4 months ago

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Can't Hold It

Kid x Reader

I’m so sorry the horny thoughts won this morning 🫣

Warnings: Omorashi/wetting, use of a dildo, inappropriate use of devil fruit, 18+

Kid had ordered you not to move. You were sitting on his lap while he fiddled with some things in the workshop. You wanted to obey him, but it was so hard when there was a rather large dildo inside you. Not only that, but it had a metal core, which meant Kid would toy with you every now and again, making it move or vibrate. This was a fairly regular occurrence. What made it different this time, was that you really had to pee and the dildo pressed right up against your bladder. Every time it moved, you squirmed, trying to stay still and trying not to lose control of your bladder. Your panties were already quite damp. You didn't want to soak your pants, or Kid's, too.

You shifted to get up, "May I be excused for just a second?"

"No."

"But-"

"No."

You felt the dildo move in and out of you ever so slightly, the drag along your walls made your toes curl, and every press into your cervix made you squeeze your legs tightly together, for fear that you would leak.

"I have to pee," you whined, rubbing your legs together.

Kid's amber eyes were full of amusement. "Oh yeah?" His arm wrapped around your waist and his hand came to rest on your crotch, fingers dancing over your clit through the fabric. "That's too bad. I told you not to move."

He rubbed lazy circles around your clit, changing the pressure he used, all while not paying attention to you, working on his project. You could feel the shift in your wet panties as the dildo moved slightly faster.

You pleaded, "Kid, I'm gonna-"

"I don't care. I told you not to move."

"You're being so mean."

Kid pressed harder into your clit, chuckling darkly into your ear, "My bunny loves when I'm mean.” Kid nipped at the shell.

You leaned against him for support as he brought you closer to the edge. You were so close, and then he stopped. Kid picked you up and set you in the middle of his lap, putting your legs on the outside of his and spreading his knees. You could feel his cock rock hard under your ass.

"Kid," you whined.

He was making it impossible to avoid. He put the heel of his hand over the outline of the dildo he could feel through your pants, pushing it back inside you every time your clenching pussy pushed it out. His hand slipped inside your panties to play with your clit. You wanted to close your legs but were unable to because of the position he had you in.

"What is it, bunny? Ya gonna make a mess?"

You bit your lip to keep from whimpering. You were unwinding fast under Kid’s fingers. With every push of the dildo, the pressure increased against your bladder, threatening to break the dam. Your back arched, pressing your body into Kid’s as his actions refused to relent. Your thighs quivered and heat pooled in your lower belly as you were brought to the edge again.

Your hands feebly tugged at Kid’s arms to make him stop but it was too late. Your head fell back into Kid’s chest with a long moan, cunt twitching and clenching around the dildo. At the same time, in the throes of your bliss, all control went out the window, and the piss that was pent up, flowed freely, soaking through your clothes and Kid’s under you, then dripping onto the floor.

Kid groaned. “That’s my girl. Let it all out.”

“Fuck. M’sorry.” You panted, cheeks red with embarrassment.

“It’s ok, bunny. Yer gonna help clean me up.”

#eustass kid #x reader #eustass kid x reader #Drabble

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nat-20s · 11 months ago

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THE GIRLS (FOURTEEN AND DONNA) ARE FIGHTIIIINNNGGG'

aka Donna has some lingering Feelings on the whole mind wipe thing and she's gonna shout about it <3

The Mess That's Made of Us

She didn’t mean for an outburst. They were having a calm, rational, adult discussion, not a fight. She didn’t even want a fight, not really. But The Doctor, he couldn’t just let it go and let her sort out her big stupid feelings on her own. No, he had to needle, he had to inquire, he had to push. He had to say that “everything had turned out all right, in the end”, and oh, that so wasn’t the fucking point. Nearly choking on the words, she yells out, “What would you have done?!”

After he startles and she has a moment to be thankful no one else is home right now, he’s shockingly even when he replies, “You..you know what I did.”

She lets out a right and proper growl of frustration. Clenching and unclenching her fists a few times in an attempt to ground herself, she grits out, “Not what I meant.”

“Donna, I don’t-”

“I meant, you pedantic little-”

She cuts herself off, takes in a deep breath in and out through her nose, and tries again. “I meant if our roles had been swapped. If I had been the one to take that year away from you, if you were about to have an essential part of the person you had become stripped all away in a moment. How would you have reacted? What. Would you. Have done?”

“I..”

She doesn’t let him finish, collect his thoughts, say pretty words that would fix it all. See, she can push, and push, and push too, now can’t she, Doctor? Generally, Donna doesn’t consider herself a cruel person. Sometimes oblivious, sometimes obnoxious, sometimes inconsiderate, but not cruel. But she knows she’s capable of it. She knows, if she so desires, she can hurt someone. She’s not trying to hurt The Doctor, except that she is, not to wound but to pull him to where she is right now. To make the grief and the rage and the conflict be shared. So she keeps going. “It’s not the same though, right? No, of course not. One year out of a billion, maybe more, that doesn’t make much of a difference, does it? Like forgetting what you had for breakfast that morning, barely a breath. I bet it would’ve been so easy, for you.”

“Donna!”

When he says it, his face is hard, and frustrated, but not cold. That’s something she’s still getting used to, with this new-old face. He used to have the coldest rage she ever saw, standing like a stranger. Now, he doesn’t tend to rage at all. It’s enough to make her clamp her mouth and actually listen for a second.

“Respectfully, what the hell are you talking about? Barely a breath, easy for me? Do you really believe that our time together meant that little to me? Do you really not understand by now? I mean, look at my face, Donna. And this is the second time that I’m completely rearranged myself in memory of you! One day with you changedme. One full year with you? Rewrote me.

So yes, removing my time with you would’ve made a difference. It would’ve made all the difference in the universe. And I don’t know what I would’ve done. If I had to get rid of the part of me that was made from you. I’m not sure I could.”

Such pretty words. And, well, the face in front of her right now does suggest some truth to them. But she can’t quite believe them, and she can’t quite look at said face, so instead her vision drifts over to the Tardis parked outside their kitchen window. Folding her arms and staring listlessly, she counters, “Yeah? Don’t you think you would’ve, I dunno, blinked and gone ‘oh that’s odd’ before putting on one of those manic smiles and inputting the coordinates to Venus in the 15th century, and that would’ve been that?”

Out of the corner of her eye, The Doctor’s face goes through a rapid series of motions that she can almost sort out, before stopping at realization. Oh. She didn’t like that one bit.

“Ah, that’s what you think did happen, huh? You think I flew away in my box and had magical adventures and found someone else in a day. It would make sense, right? Start pallin’ around with the nearest redhead I could find, forget all about me ol’ mate Donna, it’s not like she was gonna remember, so why should I?”

She sniffs, and tilts her face up, and resolutely does not let any tears fall. She also does not look at him.

“Donna, there was no one else, not until I was someone else. You want to know what happened, after I lost you? I broke. And then died. There was no me without you.”

Fuck. He changes his tune then, and she’s pretty sure they’re no longer fighting. They’ve always lacked a talent for it. He comes closer, placing both his hands gently on top of her still crossed arms, and moves until she has to look him in the eye. He even throws in a smile. Damn him to hell, he knows it’s near impossible for her to see her best friend smiling and start smiling a bit herself.

With a breath that borders on being a laugh, he continues, “But you! You got married, and yelled at parking attendants, and had a kid, and you existed. And I can’t regret that, I can’t. So I’m sorry, I really am. I ignored your pleas, and I took some of you away, and I’d do it again. I’d do it every time.”

She lets out a sigh and lets her arms drop to the sides. “I know.”

Wiping a hand down her face, she mixes a huff and a shrug. “Honestly, Doctor? I think I’ve already forgiven you.”

With a nod, she stands up straight and tells him straight, “I think I forgave you the moment it happened. I just..I just need time. I know it’s been years but I’ve only been able to think on it for a week.”

“I understand. Hell, there’s things that take me a couple thousand years to process, so.”

Donna rolls her eyes and let’s out a small chuckle, before opening her arms and saying, “C’mere, spaceman.”

The Doctor quite readily does, and the hug fits just as naturally as it always has. They take a moment to breathe together, and Donna gets to listen to the comforting double rhythm of the two healthy hearts in his chest. The silence is comfortable and the sharpness has eased.

When she pulls back, she can’t help but ask, “Wait, second face? What was the other one?”

“Ah. About that-”

#1. i will edit this and put it up on a03 tomorrow but i want attention NOW and i'm very sleepy #2. sorry i didn't get into the 12clara mindwipe. i wanted to and i did in fact remember it but this fic is like double the length i planned #so i left on implying that they Get Further Into It #3. oooo you wanna listen to half of you from a tendonna perspective soooo bad #my fic #doctor who #fourteenth doctor #tennant doctor #donna noble

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avocadoguru · 2 years ago

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He was staring at her in a way no one had in her entire life. She couldn’t read anything in his eyes - not surprise, not fear, not malicious intent - nothing. (wolfrry, werewolf!harry, alpha!harry, ranger!y/n)

Lupus Noctis- Masterlist, Author’s Note & Warnings

Chapter 7 / alternatively, read on wattpad

Chapter 8 (word count: 17.3k)

Harry had a way of surprising Y/N and this was definitely one of those occasions. Not only was he home, but here he was, dragging her into the bedroom, and she let him. All in the span of mere minutes, she’d gone from frantically worried, hoping to get a hold of him, to him all over herself, determined to have her stick to her promise.

Y/N had expected that Harry would want to eat her out with how much he’d been harping on it. But when she arrived at his apartment, not even expecting him to be there, and he was basically dragging her to his bedroom and begging her, she was not prepared for it. Not at all.

And Harry tried reigning it in, he really did, but the moment she near-whispered her “okay”, giving him the green light to finally have his taste of her, he couldn’t get her to the bedroom fast enough. He kept repeating in his mind go slow, hold back, under any circumstances- don’t let her touch you, because, realistically speaking- this was probably the last day of his rut, but still, he was not quite himself, making it especially hard not to give in to his baser needs and essentially forget she’s a human who wouldn’t be able to handle him full force.

At least not at first.

He didn’t want to scare her off. Didn’t want her thinking he was some sort of a sex freak, because, while he was in his rut, his beast was at the helm- all he cared about was to indulge, no holding back. And as much as he craved Y/N, he knew that if he wanted her to stick around, he couldn’t let her see him go wild like that.

Part of him wondered how he was going to manage his ruts going forward with her. Surely he couldn’t hide away every other 4 months or so. He would have to figure out a way to have her at his beck and call, make her submit to his desires the way he needed a mate to, the way he needed her to. But how would he do that without giving away his secret?

The moment he closed the bedroom door behind them, though, his mind went blank. All the blood in his body went straight to his cock seeing her in the semi-darkness, with the way he’d set up his den in the background.

Y/N giggled at him closing the door behind them- why would he need to do that? It was just them- Eddie wasn’t even around. Which reminded her. “Oh, God... Wait! Harry, the pup–”

Harry grunted, “We’ll go get him after. He’s gonna be fine. You’re not backing off now, are you kitten?”

He resumed walking her further into the room until the back of her legs met the edge of the bed, “I’m not, I just… why’s it so dark in here?”

“Had to sleep a lot to recover. I was dehydrated and the sunlight was giving me migraines. Now, if you’re quite finished interrupting me.” And with that, he pushed her onto the mattress, between all the pillows and blankets he’d stacked on there. He was glad to have changed the sheets that morning. She didn’t need to see the mess he’d made during the night.

Harry flicked her shoes off, tossing them behind him, then lowered his body over hers, shuddering at the feel. He had her right where he’d wanted her all those days. He was sweating trying to refrain himself from shredding her clothes apart with the claws he could allow himself to grow out at his will. Or with the fangs he could unsheathe from his gums. But he had to keep his wolf in check. It might be the hardest thing he ever had to do, denying his beast while in rut, but he would try because the alternative was unthinkable at this point.

Y/N was taken aback by his frenzied passion. She wasn’t all that convinced he wasn’t high on something and just didn’t want to admit it to her, because all the signs were there. But she couldn’t take a moment to properly think it over- his presence was all-consuming. She’d missed him. And now that he was hovering over her and she could feel his body heat and look into his intense eyes and smell him– she didn’t know what it was about him, she was fairly positive her body was responding to his natural pheromones because she’d never been this close to a sweaty man and enjoyed it before. No, she loved the way he smelled, better than any cologne he’d worn around her, his natural scent was driving her wild. It was just so manly she felt herself gush just from that.

Harry smelled her arousal and moaned at the knowledge that she was getting so worked up without him even touching her yet. How was it possible? She was so perfect for him, despite her human condition. He kissed her, roaming his hands all over her body, caressing and squeezing to his heart’s delight. God, it felt so good to have her in his arms at last after fantasizing about it for days on end. He hummed when she opened up more for him and licked into her mouth “Love this sweet mouth of yours, Y/N. But I’m craving something else. You’ll let me, right, darling? Let me lick at your little pussy?”

Y/N gasped and nodded at the lewd things he was murmuring in between kisses against her lips.

“Fuck, I can’t wait a minute longer,” he spoke as he practically ripped her sweater off, causing her torso and arms to be yanked upward with his swift movement as it was pulled over her head.

She hadn’t expected him to latch onto her bra-covered tits and push his fingers into the waist of her pants and tug them down quickly. He sat back, ripping her pants down her thighs and off her legs, leaving her in just her panties, and immediately lowered his face to her crotch, burying his nose against the fabric. He couldn’t hold back a whimper, all the panties he’d confiscated from her couldn’t compare to the feel and smell of them right against what he craved most in the world.

“You’re so wet, Y/N, you made a mess out of this flimsy thing… Barely covers anything, you dirty girl. Look at it, all stuck to you,” he spoke lowly as he sat back to inspect.

She watched in shock as he assessed her body like it was a meal and he was deciding on which part to dive into first. Moving to her breasts with a bit of a rough squeeze as he licked his lips and pulled at the fabric, he lifted her back from the bed and wrapped his arms around her, snapping the back of her bra apart, which she was sure broke the clasps. She sucked in a sharp breath as her back hit the comforter under her when he let go but then he looked at her and grinned as he traced the necklace chain down to the rings that were lying just over her clavicle, “Just relax. I’m gonna take very good care of you, kitten.”

He was very careful not to let himself go completely. He was on the edge that separated the duality of what was his wolf and human side, trying to keep himself focused on the task. If he allowed his mind to wander like he wanted he didn’t know where his thoughts would have led him, what he would have done. It helped that he was desperate to get his mouth on her cunt, to feed from her directly.

Her body was almost trembling before he’d even really gotten started. Which is exactly the kind of response he wanted from her. He knelt over her and licked his tongue up from her belly button to her breasts and repeated the action over and over again until there was a wet path from her hips to the tops of her nipples. She felt a pinch suddenly under one of her breasts and only saw the top of his head, dark curls as he nibbled her breast surely intending on leaving a bruise to match the other side.

“Harry!” She breathed out feeling herself spin out of control.

His gaze landed on hers before he slowly made his way down her body again, his crystal green eyes piercing into hers. When he’d gotten to just above her hips she watched as he angled his face downward and she heard him inhale deeply. He brought his nose down to her hip and swiped it inward, along the seam of the top of her panties to the other side before sticking his long fingers into the band as he lowered his nose, dragging it over the wet fabric.

Y/N was losing her mind. This man wasn’t kidding when he kept telling her he wanted to go down on her, did he? The way he was nosing at her through her underwear had her squirming in expectation. She just knew he would be great at this. If he proved to be just as clueless as all the other guys that have tried going down on her, she’d just throw in the towel and become a nun at that point. There was just no way–

“Ah!” She moaned at the feel of him sucking her clit through her panties. How the fuck did he–

Harry was done teasing, both her and himself at this point. He needed her bare against his face. He pulled back and peeled the offending fabric off her, slingshotting it somewhere for later use. For now, he had the real deal right in front of him. Zeroing in on the very object of his desire, Harry’s brows furrowed.

He looked from her eyes to her pussy and then back again, pausing his movements after the fabric had been tossed to the floor.

Y/N took note of his confused expression and sat up on her elbows, panicking. Was it her discharge? “What’s wr–”

“Where’s your hair? Does it come like this?” Harry looked down at her again and she felt him drag his finger through her wet crease and then over both her labia and whined, biting her lower lip at the feel.

Y/N looked down at herself and then blinked her eyes. What was he talking about? “You mean- wait… the hair down here? My pubic hair?”

Harry's brows were scrunched and she’d never seen him look so bewildered, “Well, yeah. Your hair… it’s not here? You don’t have any?”

He was utterly confused. He was expecting to see a pretty and fragrant bush to stick his nose into. He’d never seen one bare and hairless before.

“Well…” she laughed, now feeling confused herself. “I wax. That’s just the way I prefer it. I always keep it smooth like this.” He was acting as if he’d never seen her naked before. “Don’t you remember from back at the lake that first time?” she teased.

“Well, the truth is I didn’t actually see anything. I was just teasing you. I wouldn’t have looked, not like that without your knowledge.”

She closed her mouth and let his words sink in for a moment. So he hadn’t actually seen her. And all this time she thought he’d looked, that he’d seen her fully naked already. Harry was surely not anything like she’d expected him to be when she first met him that night in the woods.

Harry was still confused. Wax? He made a mental note to Google all this later on.

“Smooth…” he spoke quietly to himself as he licked his lips and kept his eyes on her pussy, his thumb slowly dragging through her folds. She was feeling quite vulnerable under his scrutiny.

Harry wasn’t deterred, he was just caught off guard by her lack of hair. But not only could he smell her potent arousal dripping from her glands, but without the hair he could also see it peeking out from her soft crease as well as see her folds just below. It was pretty, he couldn’t argue that. He liked being able to see her and all her parts. But his preference was to be able to smell her deeply and her pubic hair would have enhanced his olfactory experience.

It was a tricky one, he couldn’t make up his mind as to what he preferred more, but that wasn’t really his choice to make- if she preferred it this way then so be it- so he snapped out of it and focused on the novel feeling.

He’d touched her before, sure, but without being able to see what he was doing he hadn’t realized something was missing. And now, seeing how pink and swollen she looked, and how she glistened waiting for him to dive in, he felt his mouth watering in anticipation.

“I’m losing my mind,” he muttered under his breath as he settled between her legs, “Look at you, so fucking perfect. Never seen a prettier pussy in all my life.”

It was true. And not because he could see all of her. She really was perfect to him.

He lowered his face just a breath away from her and she bit her lip in anticipation.

Harry looked at her, chancing it since they were in semi-darkness and he hoped she couldn’t make out the color of his irises should they turn bright. He needed to see her pretty face when he had his first proper taste of her. Never removing his eyes from her he stuck his tongue out and swiped it flat through her crease, from her opening to her clit and she keened at the feel and sight of it.

And there was nothing polite about how he shoved his mouth and nose right in. He pushed her thighs apart and groaned deeply as his tongue poked into her creases and licked up every little bit of her arousal and cream. She sort of wished she’d showered before arriving at Harry’s but this was unexpected. The way Harry was consuming her was unexpected.

Harry closed his eyes, wrapping his lips against her clit and sucking at it properly, without the fabric in his way, savoring the feel of her against his taste buds. He was hooked. Nothing came close to this. He felt himself tremble against her, his nose buried against her pubic bone.

The feel of it made Y/N’s toes curl. She felt him mouth at her, grabbing her thighs and pushing her against his face, burying himself as far as he could go against her.

Harry grabbed her hands, never letting up his ministrations over her cunt, and brought them to his hair. He wanted her hands in his hair, pulling and pushing and guiding him. Not that he needed guidance.

Finally being able to taste her arousal direct from the source had his eyes rolling into the back of his head. It was luxurious. Decadent. Her pussy was a delicacy. Harry drooled over her clit and pressed his tongue over the hood and then flicked quickly as she gasped. He was listening for her cues as he couldn’t open his eyes to look at her. He wanted to keep watching her face but he was already losing himself. He could feel his animal nature take over and his eyes were surely golden.

He loved how her tiny hole seemed to suck his tongue in, loved feeling all the slippery ridges on its way in and out of her, and he could only imagine how that would feel around his cock when he finally sunk himself inside of her. If he could even get its head to fit inside.

The very same head that was peeking from underneath the waistband of his pants. He knew better than to do this, but he felt like circulation was threatening to break, so he unbuttoned his pants and unzipped his fly for some much-needed relief, but he didn’t touch himself. He knew that going down that road would be dangerous. He needed to keep himself in check.

“Fuck, Y/N. I need this every day,” his tongue swiped up and down in a messy path. His voice came out in a deep growl and Y/N felt as if her limbs would melt from the vibration of his baritone over her cunt like that.

Harry felt like he could go on licking at her sweet cunt forever. Just rest his head against her thigh and lap at it all day long. The feeling was so novel, she was so slippery and puffy, so swollen and pink and she kept on oozing the sweetest nectar for him. He didn’t think he could ever get enough of it, wanted to drag it out for as long as he could. But he knew better than to tease his little human when he felt her begin to pull at the roots, her fingers tightening in his hair.

“That’s it. Show me how you like it, Y/N. ‘Cause right now I’m doing what feels good for me,” he rutted against the mattress. It was true, he wasn’t even trying to get her off at this point. “Love eating this pretty pussy. If you let me have my way I’ll just edge you all day and never let you finish just so that I can keep my mouth on you for as long as possible.”

Y/N was losing her mind. How was this man real? She’d never experienced anything even remotely similar to this. She’d never heard herself moan and whine so loud and so much for any man, ever. The way he lapped at her felt like he was kissing her, lazy and sloppy and drawn out, with just the right amount of pressure to keep her tethering on the edge of ecstasy. So when he encouraged her to show him what she liked, she took it literally. She was so far gone, she didn’t even care at this point. She grabbed hold of his head by the roots of his hair and pressed herself harder against his mouth, bending her knees and spreading her thighs. Harry’s tongue dragging over her clit and slurping it in took her breath away. She had never had a man go in like he was.

Harry moaned at her boldness and his heart swelled at how well she was listening to what he wanted from her. He took note of how she urged his mouth further over her clit and applied more pressure a bit over to her pubic bone. He didn't need any further directives and replicated her movements exactly, noticing her whole body tightening at her impending release.

“Fuck, Harry. Fuck, fuck, fuck!” he reveled at the way she closed her thighs around his head and pushed him flush against her as she came, making sure he wouldn’t pull away until he milked every little aftershock out of her.

Her release on his tongue had him moaning and whimpering in slight pain, as he had to stop himself from purring. It physically ached to have to keep himself in check like this, but the way he kept rutting against the bedsheets was soothing him somewhat.

When he felt her go lax in his hold he swiped his middle and forefingers through her sticky folds and promptly sunk them into her without preamble. He didn’t bother taking off his rings this time around, wanting them coated in her sweet release as well.

Y/N’s back arched and she let out a yelp at the surprised intrusion. She was overstimulated and squirmed away from him, but Harry placed his other large palm over her abdomen, pressing her down into the bed, taking note to keep his thumb over her pubic bone as he did so, “You showed me what you liked, now be a good girl and let me show you what I like,” he stared her down with a smirk, his face glistening in her arousal.

Y/N was panting heavily, still not having come down from her high, and couldn’t find her words to try and stop him. The first two pumps of his fingers felt almost painful, but when he curled them just right against her front wall she groaned loudly, letting her head slump back into the pillow, and cried out in pleasure, “Oh, fuck, Harry! Yes!”

She dropped her mouth open and whined at the delicious feel of his fingers inside of her and his tongue on her. The sounds coming from her pussy were sticky and wet. Everything was so slippery between her legs and Harry was doing his best to lick it all up but she only produced more.

Moving his big hand from her abdomen he took both legs, pushing her knees nearly to her shoulders as he kept his other hand occupied in her cunt.

It felt like she was being manhandled with the way he was contorting her body for his access. He growled as he lapped her up and then shook his head side to side, his lips and tongue slipping over her softness quickly.

Harry inched back to take another look. It really was pretty like this, to be able to see all of her bits. He went in tongue first and lapped upward again which made the prettiest noises fall from her mouth. He wanted to hear that from her every day.

Looking down again, continuing to fuck into her with his long fingers, he angled her hips higher to get a good look at her other hole. So pretty.

He removed his fingers as she groaned at the loss and he used his newly free hand to hold her hips in place as he licked from her asshole upward. Slow, wet strokes upward over and over again. Her flavor was exactly what he wanted. She was spicy and sweet and heady…

Slowly, she began to drip down to her bum and Harry licked it all up, every little drip that fell from her pussy down to her ass he savored.

Y/N was a blubbering mess. No man had ever licked her up this way. She’d had a few press their fingers to her bum but never anything like this. It shocked her when she first felt his warm tongue lapping at her bottom and through her cheeks. But by the time he reached her clit and then repeated licking her up again she was gone. She loved it. She never knew she’d love it.

“Oh… fffffuck! Harry! Ahhh…” Her moaned words had him smiling into her pussy as he spread her apart to really get his tongue into her crevices.

He let go of her thighs and her feet fell to the bed, but he kept her spread as he sat back. She looked down at herself, and just behind her shiny mound was Harry’s very large cock with its leaking tip. The weight of him had his slit nearly pointed directly at her. She clenched when she visualized him entering her and filling her up.

And Harry saw the way she looked at him. He knew what she wanted. He just couldn’t give in to that desire in that very moment. Not with his rut still lingering, even if he was at the tail end.

Harry shook his head of those thoughts and knelt back, pressing his digits back inside of her, three this time, and watched her entrance part for him, “My little kitten needs this doesn’t she?” Harry looked into her eyes as he let his fingers fuck into her.

Her eyes were hooded and her lips were wet. Harry could tell she was struggling to answer but he was going to make her speak. He wanted to hear more of her voice while he brought her over the edge. She moaned and nodded.

Harry cocked his head to the side. He wanted to hear her. So he stopped thrusting, “Tell me, Y/N. Tell me you need this and I’ll make you feel so good.”

Y/N panted and began to writhe over his fingers, tipping her pelvis up to get more friction from his hand, but instead, Harry pulled it away and held her thighs down in warning.

She whined and scooted her bum in closer to him, “No. Don’t stop! I need it. Please.”

Harry grinned and licked his lips. His saliva was gathering in his mouth with the anticipation of lapping her up again

“Good fucking girl.”

He plunged his fingers back and attached his lips to her cunt once again. Lapping and sucking away. Y/N carded her fingers into his hair and found herself gripping tightly.

She whimpered when she felt him hit that little spot inside and lift slightly upward, causing her bum to rise off the blanket. With his free hand, he pushed over her abdomen again to hold her down. He was absolutely ravenous and the sounds he was making with his mouth as he slurped were vulgar.

“Harry! Oh mmmmm… oh god!”

She began making incoherent noises, thrashing her legs about and arching herself off the mattress, but he kept pushing her down with his one palm while pumping into her just right with the other.

“Wait, wait! I’m– wait!”

Y/N felt like she was about to burst, quite literally so. She’d never been overstimulated before, and that was probably why she had this sensation- and it felt good, felt amazing, actually, but also felt like she had to escape him somehow. It was too intense. Like she’d never felt before.

When Harry pressed his palm and thumb harder just over where he was sucking at her clit and kept his fingers inside her pressing into her sweet spot, she felt the dam break. She convulsed against his mouth and her vision went blank for a moment. She cried out, and literally felt tears roll down her face at the amount of pleasure she felt.

Harry drank her all in and allowed his body to vibrate, purring at the intense pleasure, and felt his own release spurt against the bedsheet. He couldn’t help himself. The taste of her coming in his mouth made him climax harder than he thought possible. In fact, he hadn’t expected to come at all but here he was, once again, like an adolescent coming from nary a touch, hot sperm pouring out below him and soaking the blankets under him and making a mess of the jeans he hadn’t bothered to pull all the way down. He’d never experienced anything like it before, not even in his ruts. All his senses were overwhelmed, pleasure engulfing him entirely.

Y/N was shaking and crying and holding onto Harry’s head, her fingers like a vice grip in his hair, grinding her pussy on his face as she came undone like she never had before.

Harry smiled and slowly lapped at her as she eventually released his hair and her moans settled to pants and small gasps and then silence until she was completely still and the way she’d slumped against the bed had him climb up her body in worry. She looked as though she’d passed out. He brushed her sweaty hair out of her face, and swiped his own sweat off his forehead using his forearm after watching a few beads drop into the groove of her clavicles.

She fluttered her eyes open, taking in his concerned expression as her vision regained focus. She felt as though she could worship this man. If he could make her feel that kind of pleasure again she was fairly convinced there was nothing she wouldn’t be doing for him.

He sighed in relief when he saw her pretty eyes and then hummed in pleasure when she grabbed his face and kissed him thoroughly. She’d never kissed him quite as ardently before. He could feel every bit of her gratitude poured into the kiss.

She hooked her legs around his waist, pulling him in and he chuckled against her mouth, “Greedy little thing. Wasn’t that enough for you? You nearly passed out!”

She whimpered. Somehow, she only craved him more now, “...Don’t you want me?”

Harry swallowed thickly. That was such a dangerous thing to blurt out of that pretty mouth of hers. But she was lucky he’d just come from seeing her squirt like that, otherwise, he would’ve been sure to impale her then and there.

“Is that even a question? Made me come against the sheets like a fucking teenager, you little minx.”

Y/N’s mouth fell agape at his admission, lowering her eyes between them.

“But that’s mostly you. Soaked the bed right through.” He groaned and nipped at her jawline and Y/N stood up at that, making Harry slip to the side and chuckle at her surprise.

“No way!”

Harry raised an eyebrow at her in amusement, and couldn’t help his knowing smirk. She’d never had that happen before, and that made him infinitely pleased with himself.

She couldn’t believe it. Somehow Harry had managed to not only meet but surpass her expectations beyond her wildest fantasies. She’d been convinced that kind of thing was more of an urban myth. She’d never been eaten out like that before. With such enthusiasm and skill. He was like an animal, uncaring of any decorum. It was exactly the kind of head she’d always wanted to receive but had been too shy to ask for previously. Harry just knew.

Looking back at him, she took him in. She did quite a number on him- he was a wet mess with pink, swollen lips, wrecked hair, and a look of satisfaction she was sure she wouldn't be able to wipe off his face if she tried. Her eyes lowered down his naked torso to his undone pants, and he was still sporting a semi. Her suspicions were proving right- this man would go all night and not stop until she passed out- she was sure of it now.

Harry took note of her wandering eyes, and her earlier actions and words weren’t lost on him either. She wanted him, all of him, and he was over the moon about it. But he’d come so far- he couldn’t ruin it now. He was on the final day of his rut and needed to be careful still. He wouldn’t give in in this condition, he needed to take his time with her, and although she was sufficiently prepared for him after those two spectacular orgasms he’d given her, he didn’t trust himself enough to actually slide his cock inside of her. He would not let up for hours on end if he did, and she simply could not handle that- despite how well she’d handled the way he’d coaxed her second orgasm out of her.

No, he needed to do this right. He was thankful for coming like a teenage boy for the clarity of mind it gave him, but he needed to get her out of the apartment fast before it wore off and he no longer answered for his actions.

All in all, he was pleased with himself though. He’d proven more self-restraint than he knew he was capable of. Maybe he could prove to be a suitable partner for his little human, after all.

After taking showers separately, to avoid any further delay- Y/N’s reasoning, and to avoid his resolution snapping since it was already hanging by a very thin thread- Harry’s reasoning that he kept to himself, they drove back to her place in his car to get Eddie.

Y/N noticed that Harry was still being rather touchy-feely. Even while driving. He kept his hand at her thigh and she felt warm all over from the new feelings she was experiencing. She already knew she liked him, but this was more than just something casual and she figured they both knew it. They had a real connection.

“So, Eddie has been quite upset. I’m sure he just misses you. He’s definitely got separation anxiety. He’s only eating his treats now. Hasn’t had a full meal in a day. But he is drinking water and doing his business outside. I’m really glad you’re here, though. I think he’ll be happy to see you.”

“He hasn’t spent this much time away from me since I took ownership. I think he’ll be okay when I see him. I’ll make sure he eats something,” he said as he kept his eyes on the road.

Harry felt bad for the little one. He knew that his living conditions weren’t ideal at all for a near 6-year-old. He needed kids his age to play with, that would maybe encourage him to shift back. He was left alone for most of the days at the cabin, and Harry truly hadn’t found any other workaround for this issue. He had business to take care of, and his nephew wasn’t fit for that environment, he was way too young. But he also couldn’t leave him within the pack- he didn’t trust that he’d be safe there. The way his kind saw him as a bad omen for the fact that he couldn’t shift back after the accident in which he lost his parents really didn’t sit well with Harry at all. The cabin was an unknown place to his pack and he thought it a safer place for the little one than among his own kind- which was something to ponder on.

But he thought he’d be having a grand ol’ time with Y/N. He knew she spoiled him. And that she’d play with him and pet him and shower him with her attention. But the truth was, Y/N didn’t know that Eddie needed more than that since he wasn’t a pet. She couldn’t, therefore, do the things Harry did with him- she didn’t talk to him the way Harry did, not to mention she couldn’t exactly shapeshift and run around the woods with him to play. Tug of war wasn’t nearly enough for the amount of energy he had to exert.

And the biggest issue probably was that the little one was worried he’d abandoned him, Harry thought. Although he’d explained to his nephew that he’d be staying with Y/N for just a few days and told him a number of times not to worry, that he’d be back soon- he was probably scared that he’d somehow lost Harry as well. And who could blame him after the trauma of losing his parents the way he did? Harry wished Edward would shapeshift if only to be able to speak and communicate what he was feeling, in hopes to maybe heal some of his trauma.

But nothing could prepare Harry or Y/N for what they found when she unlocked the door to her apartment. With some difficulty, she pushed the door open. Looking down she noticed the carpet was torn to shreds as she inched the door open slowly. She gasped when she finally stepped into her entry. With the sound of a Nickelodeon cartoon playing as the backdrop to it all, she looked around to a completely destroyed living room. The rug under her couch was in shreds. The door frame to her bathroom looked like it had been pried off, and her curtains ripped down and turned to confetti.

“Edward!” Harry shouted loudly making Y/N jump at the volume.

He took in the sight of her place- it was bad. The couch cushions were torn apart, the rug was shredded to pieces, every small piece of furniture was knocked over, her shoes at the entryway were all chewed up, her curtains were torn and bits were scattered all over, and walking further in, he saw the bedroom also hadn’t been spared. The only rooms that looked minimally affected by Edward’s tantrum were the kitchen and the bathroom and that was probably because he either couldn’t reach most of the stuff or they were just harder to destroy.

Y/N was in shock. Her place looked as though a Tasmanian devil had stormed through it. “Oh my God…” she covered her mouth in shock, trying to take it all in.

Eddie was sitting in a corner in the bedroom, trying to hide but Harry had found him immediately. She walked in on them only to see Harry staring him down, and the pup trembling, curling in on himself.

“No! Don’t punish him!” Y/N ran towards the little one and took him into her arms protectively, shielding him away from Harry’s staredown.

Harry was taken aback by her reaction. First of all, he wasn’t used to anyone coming in between him and his nephew.

Second of all, nobody ever dared cut him off and try to defy what he felt was right in regard to someone from his pack. He was the one calling the shots, he would be the one deciding what punishment would be applied, and especially since Edward was his nephew, nobody would ever dare question his decision.

But, he wasn’t going to hurt him! So, thirdly, Harry was confused over why she thought he would do that, “... What did you think I was going to do?”

Y/N worried her brows and petted the pup who was still trembling in her arms, “I don’t know, but you scared him! Look how he’s shaking! He probably thought you were going to hurt him!”

“No, he didn’t!” Harry snarled, “I never laid a hand on him, what kind of person do you think I am hurting a harmless little creature like that?!” Edward wasn’t exactly harmless, but in comparison to Harry’s wrath, he would have been, so technically he wasn’t lying.

Y/N felt bad. “He just looked so scared and guilty, I couldn’t bear it… Sorry. I shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions like that…”

“He should be feeling guilty!” Harry snapped, looking at the little one trying to hide away from him in her arms, “What he did was bad! Look what he did! I can’t not address it and let him get away with it, and have him think it’s alright to do something like this!”

“... But he’s just a puppy!”

Harry gritted his teeth. He’s not just a puppy, but he couldn’t exactly tell her that, could he? No, he was a young little boy that needed to learn his actions had repercussions, and even though he would never physically hurt him, he would punish him.

“Harry… Look, I get you’re upset, but it’s my house and even I’m not this upset! He’s just a puppy! He doesn’t know any better! He was already feeling out of sorts because he probably thought you abandoned him, and now that I was gone too, he panicked and threw a tantrum! You can’t really expect a little pup to control these urges! It’s not like he can rationalize any of this!”

This was frustrating Harry beyond belief. As it turns out, Edward could rationalize it very well and did it all very intentionally- although he could appreciate that he was just a child and couldn’t manage his emotions the way an adult would, he was still far more capable than just a pup to know right from wrong.

“I’m taking him back to the cabin where he can cool off and–”

“No! Harry, that’s cruel! All he wanted was for his owner to be back and now you’re just showing him he was right and that you are abandoning him! No, I won’t let you,” she snuggled him closer to her chest and Harry furrowed his brows ever deeper, conflicted over how to manage this situation.

On the one hand, he oddly loved how defensive she was about his nephew. Made him see how she would make for the perfect mother to their pups. He groaned in frustration, this was turning him on– and of course it was, with him being on the tail end of his rut and only squeezing in another release in his quick shower alone before they left Niall’s apartment.

But at the same time, he didn’t know how to explain to her that she was mistaken and this kind of attitude would only serve to reward his bad behavior.

Harry knew Edward was far stronger and more agile than any typical dog or wolf. The wreckage didn’t surprise him all that much, truth be told. His nephew was quite hot-headed at times. A sweet kid, but could be a firecracker. And this was just the evidence of how pissed he was. He didn’t like not getting his way, as most children his age. And that combined with his wolf nature (not to mention he was an alpha) meant he could be extremely destructive under the right circumstances.

Pacing away, Harry tried to calm himself down. He couldn’t go about this the way he normally would. Their ways were much too brutal for humans- she would never understand that he’d be punishing the little one for his own good. After all, if Edward was going to be the pack’s alpha one day, he had to build character, discipline, strength, and endurance. He couldn’t just throw tantrums and destroy everything in his wake whenever something didn’t go his way- that would be absolutely catastrophic for him and everyone around him the more he grew up and the stronger and more ferocious he’d become. He’d absolutely made Y/N’s home uninhabitable.

And that’s when realization dawned upon Harry.

Maybe what Edward had done could play to his advantage. Yes. Maybe he wasn’t so mad at his nephew, after all. He’d be sure to make a point out of why this was wrong later on, between just the two of them, but for now, Harry barely contained the smirk on his lips as he approached Y/N who was now sitting on her disheveled bed with the little one on her lap, petting him gently and whispering soothing words to him.

He feigned a frustrated sigh, “I guess you’re right. He was probably just frightened.” Harry crouched in front of the two of them and although his features had softened, he made sure to still give the little one a stern look, “It wasn’t very nice, though, was it Edward? Look what you did. How is poor Y/N going to fix this mess? Hm?”

Eddie was still giving Harry the puppy dog eyes, his muzzle on his paws, but at least he wasn’t cowering away anymore, and he’d stopped trembling, Y/N noticed. She kept petting his fur gently, and that probably helped too. She was relieved to see Harry had calmed down. And when he reached a hand to scratch behind the pup’s ear, she smiled.

Harry noticed her smile and was happy for it, she didn’t want her to be distressed more than she already was, fearing he’d harm the little one. He still had an unpleasant taste in his mouth over the thought that she’d ever think him capable of that. Was he really that scary when he was furious? He hadn’t even done anything, just stared his nephew down, but the way she’d reacted had him thinking she genuinely feared he’d unleash his wrath on Edward.

“You’re lucky Y/N loves you. After what you did to her place, I’d boot you right out the window.”

“Harry!” Y/N laughed.

Harry raised his eyes to look at her properly from his crouched position, “I’m so sorry for this, Y/N. I honestly can’t believe he did this.”

Her smile faded somewhat, “I can’t believe it either, to tell you the truth. He’s been such a good boy all throughout. Yeah, he’s been a little whiny the past day or so, but he’s been a doll. I just can’t believe such a small little fluff ball is capable of something like this! I mean, I’ve heard stories of chewed shoes and cord cables, but this is… next level. Like, I don’t get how he was physically able to cause this amount of damage!”

Harry grimaced. She was right. A small dog would’ve never been capable of anything nearly as bad as this. But a wolf?... Harry actually thought Edward hadn’t even gone all out. Y/N hadn’t been witness to the way he could use his claws or the speed he could move at. His fangs hadn’t quite given in yet, but had this happened a few months later, her apartment would’ve been in a much worse condition. He’d have enjoyed chewing on all her chairs and tables on top of everything else he’d destroyed.

“I know. He’s never done anything like this. He must’ve really been upset, weren’t you, boy?”

Eddie pawed at his snout and Y/N melted, despite her upset. He was just too adorable to stay mad at.

“But I’ll take care of everything. Edward is my responsibility and he did this so I’ll replace everything for you. We’ll get the apartment repaired or pay your landlord directly. However you want to do it.”

Y/N looked over at Harry and offered a half smile. While it was nice of Harry to offer, many items were sentimental. She’d picked her furniture and her things out all on her own. And even if they weren’t the nicest quality, they were hers. But now a lot of things that she felt this small attachment to were gone. And sure it was just stuff, but it was a shock.

“This is going to cost a lot of money, Harry. Almost everything I own has been damaged. I’m just- shocked this happened. But it’s a good thing that I’ve got the overnight shift tonight and I’m leaving for a week on a work trip in the morning anyway. Won’t have to worry about this whole mess, at least for a bit.”

Harry shook his head, “Wait. What? You’re leaving?”

“Yeah. Every year there’s a field course and community engagement training. It’s to make sure everyone is up on the new rules and safety guidelines, new technology, animal handling… it’ll be my first one so I’m sort of looking forward to it. I was kind of worried you wouldn’t be back in time, you said you’d only be gone a few days and, well… I figured if you weren’t back I’d reach out to Niall or just change my flight. When you asked I didn’t think of how close I’d be cutting it.”

Harry was a bit dumbfounded. He thought he’d have her with him that night and… well- if he was honest, for good- not actually intending on having her move back into her apartment, as selfish as that was. This wasn’t what he envisioned at all. But he’d be patient. As much as he wanted to keep her with him indefinitely he knew that wasn’t going to work. If he had his way she’d quit her job and just be with him all day and all night. Unfortunately, humans didn’t do relationships like his kind did. She’d certainly find that to be too much.

Trying to keep himself calm at the sudden news he responded, “You would have done that for Edward? For me?… A whole week, huh?”

Y/N could tell Harry was a bit taken aback, and even a touch disappointed. Which she honestly loved. Not that she loved to disappoint him, but that his response to her being gone was disappointment. Maybe she’d even give him a big treat when she returned because she’d certainly be missing him too.

“Yes. Of course, I would have. It was my fault for forgetting. And yeah. A whole week. Maybe you can pick me up from the airport when I get back. If you wanted-”

“Yes, and I’ll drop you off at the airport too. Edward and I will come stay with you at the station tonight so you have some company. And so I can keep you safe.”

“Harry… that’s not allowed. And what are you keeping me safe from?” She laughed, he was being a bit overdramatic, “And besides, a few of us are riding with Nick to the airport in the morning.”

Harry’s jaw set at Nick’s name, “Well then that settles it for certain. I don’t trust him to drive you safely and besides you’re going to be gone for a week and we’ll miss you,” he spoke, and then looked down at his nephew in her arms, “isn’t that right Edward?”

Y/N continued to be surprised by Harry. She was taken aback at his candor.

He continued, “And I think it would be good for him to run around a bit. He needs some space to play and get all of his energy out, don’t you think? Come on…”

Y/N couldn’t hide the smile on her face. Of course, she wanted Harry and Eddie with her at the station. She could get into trouble, though. But Harry did make a good point about Eddie needing some space to run a bit. And no one had to know…

“Fine. I think that would be nice actually.”

Harry grinned widely at getting his way (he was used to getting his way) and stood up looking down at the two. The way she was treating his nephew was really tearing him apart. She was so good to him. And was she really going to cancel her work trip just so that she could stay with Edward? He gently placed a strand of her hair behind her ear and then caressed her newly exposed cheek with the back of his hand.

“You won’t be able to stay here for a while, you know that right?” He tried to keep his voice quiet, as to not snap her out of her calm state.

She sighed, “I know. It’s… bad.”

“It really is. Like I said, I’ll replace everything, but it’s going to take a bit. You’ll come stay with us when you return, alright?”

Y/N stammered, looking up at him, “Harry… you don’t have to–”

“Shush.” He flicked the tip of her nose gently, “Go on, pack what you need for your trip. If he left anything intact, that is,” he raised a menacing eyebrow back at the little one and Y/N complied before Harry’s mood soured again.

Bringing Edward into the kitchen while he let Y/N pack her suitcase he opened the fridge to find an untouched bowl of food meant for his nephew.

He placed it on the floor and pointed to it, “Eat. Now,” and then he lowered his voice and knelt to look his nephew in his eyes, “I don’t care if it’s cold. You need to eat. When I return to the kitchen I better see this bowl empty. And we’ll have a talk later about your little tantrum when we’re alone. You’re not off the hook.”

By the time they were ready to leave, Eddie had eaten the bowl of food and was lying on a set of shredded curtains close to the front door waiting.

“Oh, he’s eaten! I didn’t even realize. Well, at least we know what the problem was. I’d say this is an extreme case of separation anxiety. Poor guy,” Y/N patted his head. She was still quite bewildered and even a little upset over everything but she understood that canines didn’t think like people and so to him, this was his way of expressing his anxiousness at the sudden change and being away from his owner.

But the truth wasn’t as simple as she assumed.

Harry was still processing the fact that Y/N was leaving in the morning. He’d barely had her back into his arms, right where he wanted her, and now something would be taking her away from him again. He really felt like kicking something, but instead, he tried to push all those feelings down and savor what little time they had that night together.

Being at the station wasn’t ideal. This was not at all the way he thought the night was going to play out. Maybe had this not been the last day of his rut- and maybe had he not just finally tasted her just mere hours ago, he’d be able to sober up and just enjoy her company without it having to be sexual. Because he did enjoy her company regardless of what they did, and he truly had missed her presence, her laughter- everything about her. It was just difficult keeping that in mind while he was continuously sporting a semi.

But maybe it was for the better, he reasoned. He wanted to do right by her, and even during the final hours of his rut, he wasn’t sure he could reign it in if she gave herself over to him completely.

However, having her gone for a whole week would definitely prove to be quite the test of his patience. Especially since she’d be going away with that man that was clearly infatuated with her. That didn’t sit right with him at all.

Y/N had insisted on trying to tidy up the place at least a bit before they left and so they hadn’t had time to grab some early dinner before she had to report for duty at the station.

Lindsy was already inside the station when they arrived. She sat up straight at the desk and smirked at Y/N before standing up to round the desk, “Hi! I’m Lindsy,” she stuck her hand out toward Harry.

“I’m Harry,” he shook her hand politely.

“I’ve heard about you. Well, sort of. Seems like Nick’s got a run for his money…” she said as she grabbed her backpack from the hook.

Harry shot a look at Y/N who shook her head, “Nick is just a co-worker. Nothing more,” she reminded Lindsy, rolling her eyes.

“Well it’s clear he never had a chance,” she said looking at Harry and then back to Y/N, “but Nick certainly seems to think otherwise.”

“Okay. Well, great chat. See you tomorrow then?” Y/N was ready to get Lindsy out of there. She could tell that Harry was not happy about this revelation.

“Yeah, sure. Oh!,” Lindsy paused and knelt down to Eddie, “Cute little pup we’ve got here. What breed is this? I didn’t see you before, little guy.”

“A mutt really. He’s very well-behaved,” Y/N spoke quickly.

“A mutt… hmm…” she inspected the pup a bit, scrubbing his head and then lifting up the jowls to see his teeth.

Harry scooped Edward up when he realized the woman was prodding at his nephew like he was a show animal.

“Are you also going on this work trip Y/N’s been telling me about?” Harry spoke, distracting her from the little one.

“Yes, I am! Gotta go pack, I always leave that last minute… bad habit, I guess.”

Harry nodded feigning interest, “Well then, I’ll be coming back around tomorrow morning to drive Y/N to the airport. Do you need a lift too?” He didn’t want her coming along but he was warned he needed to act as if he was leaving so no one suspected that he’d stayed all night.

“Ah, I wouldn’t dream of third-wheeling. Nah, I’ll ride with Nick. Thanks, though. Have an easy one, Y/N!” Lindsy waved as she stepped out of the station.

“So Nick is still bothering you?” Harry placed Edward back down.

Y/N shook her head, a small grin on her face as she sat at the desk starting to go through some paperwork she needed to sort out. He was jealous when he didn’t need to be, “He’s not bothering me. I don’t know what he and Lindsy talk about but he’s kept his distance after you followed him to the bar,” she teased.

Harry believed her but he didn’t trust the guy. Especially now that he knew they were all going away on some work trip together for a week he was sure Nick would try something with her. Because of course, the coward would wait until they were out of state.

He sat across the desk from Y/N and just looked at her. He’d watched her without her knowledge on several occasions. And he hadn’t been lying to her about not having looked when she was getting into the water while she was skinny dipping, unaware of his presence there yet. Even then, he knew he wanted to see her like that when she would inevitably give herself to him. And that was precious to him.

He enjoyed studying her while she was busy with something else. When she knew he was looking, she’d sometimes shy away under the intensity of his gaze. Because Harry wasn’t the kind to be subtle about it. He drank her in any chance he got. And sometimes, when he’d say something to compliment her she’d blush and even maybe make a joke to try and deflect. But to his surprise, she wasn’t like that in the bedroom. Whenever she’d turn to putty in his arms and he’d get her worked up, she’d blossom under his eyes. He’d whisper the lewdest things into her ear and she’d only grow more bold and sensual. He loved that she didn’t shy away from him then, and gave in to her instincts. It was quite the sight to behold.

Harry shifted in his seat, readjusting himself. He was in for a long night sleeping next to her when he knew he couldn’t really touch and taste the way he craved to. But he did look forward to just holding her. Something he’d have never thought he’d be into, especially while in his rut.

“Harry, you’re staring.”

“I know I am.”

Y/N scoffed amusedly, “Well, don’t. You’re distracting. You’re the one who insisted on coming, but I got some work to take care of first, so don’t even think about complaining.”

“I’m not complaining.” He crossed his arms, refraining from doing just that.

“Please, I can practically hear your thoughts.”

“Pretty sure you’d be blushing and squirming in your seat if you could hear my thoughts. But alright.” He stood up while she tried hiding her reaction to what he’d just told her. “I’ll go grab us some dinner while you’re at it.”

“No need to, we’ll just order something in.”

Harry grimaced, “You mean takeaway? That’s basically more of that horrid concession stand food. No, I’ll call ahead and order and then drop by one of my favorite restaurants. Have them cook us something that’s actually edible. This little guy also needs something after we exercise him a bit later tonight. Can’t exactly feed him french fries, can we?” Edward whined at the mention of fries but Harry ignored his pleas, “Is it ok if he stays here while I’m gone?”

“Of course. Alright, that sounds good. Thank you.”

Harry would never get tired of her oh so politely thanking him for what he felt was his natural instinct- in this case, to provide for her. He loved the way it sounded coming out of her mouth and he wondered if he could find a way to get her to thank him in bed, also. Maybe after she swallowed all of his warm come. The thought sent a shudder down his spine.

Instead, he winked at her and got going before he let that thought take over and he had her reenact it.

Harry never thought he’d stoop so low. He actually had to use the restaurant’s (quite lavish) restroom to rub one out. If he was going to behave tonight, he needed to get that idea he’d been obsessing over on the ride there out of his head somehow. It did help him calm down somewhat, and the drive back to the station was a lot more comfortable.

When he got back, Y/N called out to him that she was out back, and he found her on the porch watching Edward run around close to the station where she could “keep an eye on him”, which Harry found adorable. If anything, his nephew was the one guarding her, but she was cute to think it was the other way around.

She’d set a blanket down and told him they could have “sort of a picnic” which he also found endearing. They unwrapped the delicious food and then called out for the little one so that he could eat too, and Eddie gobbled his food down and then promptly resumed running around like a wild banshee, “Edward! Stay where I can see you!”

Y/N looked over at Harry in confusion as she chewed her food. She knew it was unlikely Eddie would understand what he was saying, but she realized that somehow he always just listened to Harry no matter what. Even then. Eddie stayed where they could both see him as he zoomed back and forth, tongue wagging and dirt flying in his wake.

Harry noticed the faraway look in her eyes and figured she must’ve been thinking about her home and how everything was ruined. She’d been very understanding of the whole situation and put her love for Eddie first and the way she reasoned he was just a puppy and didn’t know any better was really mature of her- but even so, she had every right to be upset about it. It was her home, and it was now practically inhabitable. While she’d cleaned up and thrown out most of what wasn’t salvageable, with his help, he saw her becoming progressively more worried and sad. He hated seeing her like that. He wished he could fix it. And he intended on doing just that, but he needed a bit of time. He even had her give him her spare key so that he could have some over to deep clean while she was gone- even though he planned on doing much more than just that. So maybe her work trip was beneficial in a way. He’d have time to plan it all out and surprise her when she got back. But he couldn’t tell her about it, to ease her mind. Not yet.

“You didn’t have to go all out like this, Harry. It’s pretty gourmet for the setting,” she chuckled, but he could tell it had pleased her. Even if she ended up barely nibbling at her food. She was more upset than he’d realized.

He brought his hand to the nape of her neck and massaged her reassuringly, “Try not to worry. It’ll be okay. I’ll make sure of it.”

She smiled and nodded, keeping her sight on the forest, “I know. It’s just things. Not like anyone was harmed. I’m happy Eddie seems to be back to his normal self.” She kept her eyes on the little one, roaming freely through the woods, “He looks pretty happy now. I took him outside and let him play for however long he wanted to, but I guess it’s just not the same. I can tell he’s used to you taking him along on hikes, even as small as he is. He’s got a lot of energy for a pup.”

Y/N then turned to look at him properly. She appreciated him so much. He was so good to Eddie, and he really did his best. And he was really good to her too. He made sure to feed her actually nutritious food, insisted on coming along to “keep her safe”, was sad to hear she had to go for her trip. And then… everything that had happened earlier that day. She couldn’t get over how incredibly handsome he was. His eyes and his skin, his hair, his broad shoulders, and his voice. And he was so caring and kind with her yet an absolute beast in the bed.

Harry pulled her to sit in his lap, he needed her closer with the way she was looking at him, “My uncle’s got a lot of land. He lives about a six-hour drive from here. I’ve been thinking of sending Edward to him. I think he’d thrive with all that room to run and other… animals around to play with. I think he’s too much canine for me. Especially after seeing what he did to your apartment-”

“Oh, Harry! Don’t give him away just because of that! I promise that’s-”

“It’s not just the apartment, Y/N. I’ve been considering this since before I met you. He’s a lot to handle. And I love him but I think he’d be happier with my uncle. I think it would be for the best. Honestly. The apartment thing is just sort of making me see that stuff like this might continue to happen. He’s stressed. I can’t always be around. Sometimes he’ll need to be with other people to watch him and I feel like he’ll have a better life if he can have more stability.”

“Six hours? That’s quite the trek. When were you thinking of doing this? Does your uncle know?”

“Yeah, six hours. Well, soon. Haven’t decided on it for sure yet, but I think soon. I’d need to make arrangements with my uncle. And yeah, I’ve spoken to him about it. He told me originally he’d take Edward. After my brother and his wife… well, Lester, that’s his name, my uncle’s name, told me that he’d take Edward. I just hadn’t gotten around to it. Thought I could take care of him on my own but I don’t know that it’s possible anymore. Not without making him miserable."

It did pain Harry to even consider it but Edward was not thriving being protected and hidden away the way he was. Harry did his best to play with him, teach him, hunt with him… but he needed children his own age around. Children who were like him. No one in Harry’s pack would let their young play with Edward or even be around him. And he wouldn’t trust them to even if they did.

He would miss seeing the little guy every day but what options did he have?

Y/N nodded and took Harry’s hand, “I guess that makes sense. You’re probably right. He’s not just a regular dog, which I’m sure you’re aware of. He needs more than what he’d get in a typical domestic household and he’s only going to get bigger and stronger,” she paused and sighed, “Can I come with you? When you take Eddie to your uncle’s?”

He nodded, “Of course. We can go together.”

Y/N smiled and squeezed his hand and noted that he was still a bit clammy, “Are you still feeling unwell?”

Harry chuckled, “I’m fine. Much better after you let me have a dose of my medicine,” he smirked as he spoke.

She faltered for a moment and felt her face and ears grow hot at his comment, “If you say so. Just let me know if you need anything though. Like real medicine, I mean,” she laughed.

“Always trying to take care of me,” he spoke quietly and let his gaze linger on hers. He was falling hard for the girl. And while his hormones were still a bit unbalanced, he knew that his feelings were real. Which made the guilt of his secrets and lies eat at him.

“Well, I like you. I just want to make sure you’re okay,” she smiled up at him.

Harry swallowed the lump in his throat. He knew that, of course- that she liked him. But what he felt for her was so much more than that. He didn’t want to scare her off with the intensity of his feelings, which would probably seem like too much this early on.

It frustrated him. Humans were so peculiar. He remembered reading online about that and how that had left him even more confused. They liked to take things slow, but they also didn’t like to be kept waiting for some kind of commitment. What did that even mean?

His eyes lowered to her necklace that she had sitting overtop her blouse, he noticed she liked it on display when she wasn’t working. It was her little way of showing the world that she was spoken for. Maybe she didn’t realize it, maybe it was just an unconscious thing she did on instinct- which actually pleased him immensely. Maybe it wouldn’t be too soon. Maybe if he claimed her, she’d like it.

He didn’t like the idea of her going away like that, far enough that he couldn’t reach her easily even with his inhuman speed, and be amongst men (real men, not Nick who wasn’t nearly good enough for her), men that could try their luck with her. And who was to say she wouldn’t give them a chance? After all, in the human world what they had was seen as casual. Dating wasn’t an explicit commitment and sometimes humans would date multiple people at once, he remembered reading.

So, although that was absolutely appalling to him, he couldn’t really blame her if she went and did just that, could he? This was the norm for her kind.

Harry cleared his throat, playing with the rings hanging from her neck, “Will you wear these while you’re away?”

Y/N grinned at that. For some reason he really liked her wearing his rings. She tried not to let her mind wander with how she could interpret that and what deeper meaning it may have, but when he kept bringing it up again, it was hard not to. “Do you want me to?”

Harry looked deep into her eyes then, “I want you to. I want you to keep them, and wear them like this. And if anyone asked, I’d like it if you told them they’re from me.”

Y/N furrowed her brows in confusion as she smiled, “And how would they know who that is?”

“They don’t need to know me by name. All they need to know is who I am to you.”

Y/N blinked, wetting her lips, “And what’s that?”

“Lover. Boyfriend. Your man. Whatever you want to call me, that’s what I’ll be.”

Y/N tried containing her wide smile if only to kiss him properly. She threw her arms around his neck and kissed him with all she was worth. The way he’d said it made her heart flutter like never before. She never knew how much she’d needed to hear him say it until he did, how much she needed to clear the air. She knew she must’ve meant more to him than just something casual by the way he’d opened up to her slowly but surely, and she could tell that wasn’t something that came easy to him. But for some reason, she didn’t allow herself to hope for more. She still couldn’t believe he would even be interested in someone like her, let alone want something serious with her. She’d never tell him, and she had this way about her- pretty self-assured and confident in her independence, but she always thought he was out of her league. So even though her heart secretly hoped for this, she never entertained the idea, just to spare herself the heartache.

Harry felt immense relief at her response. He’d been so nervous bringing it up. What if she hadn’t been on the same page? What if she thought it was too soon? What if he ruined everything with rushing things? But the way she was kissing him, he could tell she’d been waiting for this. He felt silly, then. He’d went and done the same mistake as with their “date”. Went and listened to outside sources telling him how he should go about things, when all he needed to do was listen to his instincts, instead. They’d never led him astray with her so far. She was always seemingly on the same page with him, despite their differences.

“Yeah, you’re mine?” He asked between kissing her just as ardently back.

“You know I am.” She breathed, her heart melting at how happy he sounded. He really wanted this, wanted her. She felt like the luckiest woman in the world.

Harry couldn’t believe his luck. If he played his cards right, he’d be able to make this work. He’d make sure of it. He knew just what he had to do. He was done denying his instincts when it came to her. She was his mate. And he wouldn’t have it any other way. He meant what he told her- he’d be what she wanted him to be. And he knew that couldn’t be what he currently was. If it meant turning his whole world on its axis for her, he’d do it.

Later when he had her in his arms while she slept, he didn’t even want to waste time sleeping when he could look at her and take in the sight of her against his chest instead. She nuzzled into his sparse hair there and almost immediately fell asleep. She must’ve been exhausted, what with Edward keeping her up for most of the night before, and the whole mess at her apartment, and not to mention the way he’d had her nearly pass out from pleasure. He smiled to himself, knowing that was probably the main reason for the way she’d dozed off right away the moment he secured his arms around her in that sad excuse for a bed. In which he barely fit alone, his legs hanging off the margin, and she had to lay more atop of him than on the actual mattress- but he loved the excuse that provided him with to hold her as close as he did.

He’d reassured her that he’d keep an eye out when he insisted on her sleeping properly before her trip. She needed to be well rested. But with the way he always slept so soundly next to her, he was worried he wouldn’t be able to sleep with one eye open, so to say, as he normally did. So he whispered to Edward that he was to keep watch for the night. “You owe Y/N for what you did to her place.”

The little one grunted but knew better than to further object.

Y/N woke up to Harry shifting behind her, moving his arm from under her. She sat up and turned to look at him, “What time is it?”

Harry chuckled and stretched his arms overhead, not worried in the least, “About an hour before any of your co-workers show up. You’re fine. Don’t worry.”

After making a pot of coffee and pulling her hair into a ponytail she splashed water on her face as she heard Harry and Eddie coming back inside.

“Looks like Nick the prick is here. Just saw him pull up as we were coming back in.”

She chuckled and rolled her eyes at Harry’s attempt to make fun of Nick’s name. Yet again.

Harry was holding Eddie in his arms when Nick walked through the door, “What are you doing here? Non-employees are not allowed to camp out at the station.”

“He’s not camping out. He got here just a bit ago. He’s taking me to the airport.”

“I thought we were all riding together. Would have been nice to know you weren’t coming with.”

Harry shook his head and stepped in toward Nick, “Why does it concern you if she goes with you or not? You’re taking others, are you not?” Nick nodded and opened his mouth to speak but Harry continued, “So back the fuck off. Don’t try and make her feel bad that she had other plans.”

“Harry…” Y/N put her hand on his elbow and squeezed.

“I could’ve offered her spot to someone else, had I known! I was just making a point. And what’s with this…” Nick diverted his attention to the little one. “What kind of canine is this even? Is this legal for you to own?”

“Nick-” Y/N warned, standing in front of Harry and Eddie, “Stop. Harry’s being nice to take me to the airport. I asked him to. I’m sorry I was inconsiderate and didn’t think to give you a heads up. Just…we have a long day ahead of us. Let’s not start this trip on the wrong foot.” And with that, Y/N grabbed Harry’s hand and pulled him outside, with Eddie trotting along.

“I didn’t like his little guilt trip. And if he talks to you like that again, tell me.” Harry gave her a pointed look.

She shook her head and laughed. Just then another vehicle pulled into the employee parking area with Tom, Lindsy, and Allen.

“Hi guys!” Y/N waved as they got out of their car and Tom popped the trunk to take out their suitcases.

Lindsy gave Y/N a very knowing look and then directed her gaze to Harry who was wearing the same clothes as he was the night before. Y/N knew Lindsy was probably on to them, but she trusted she’d keep it to herself. After all, what was her colleague going to do? Just bring it up out of the blue that her boyfriend was wearing the same clothes as he was when he dropped her off for her night shift?

When Karl arrived to take over at the station, Y/N waved at everyone and climbed into Harry’s car. She just wanted to get out of there. Nick’s attitude was starting to rise up again when he mentioned something about Eddie to Tom, and then Tom took note of the odd pup as well.

Harry wanted to drive her back to Niall’s and tell her she wasn’t allowed to go. If she were his mate in his pack he wouldn’t permit it. Never. Not with Nick acting like a fool and looking at her like she was his to ogle. He hated it. Hated to be polite and allow her to do her own thing. Hated to abide by the rules of modern humans, but what choice did he have? If he wanted her he needed to go about this relationship in a way that was comfortable to her. But to his surprise, the real reason why he wasn’t giving in to his caveman tendencies was because he wanted her to prefer him over anything else. He wanted her to come back to him. Wanted her to choose him every single time instead of him making the choice for her. It was the only way any of it had any true meaning to him, as well.

When they got to the airport Y/N insisted on just dropping her off at the front. Harry tried to argue that he could park and walk her in but she let out an aggravated sigh, “Harry. Just drop me off. It’s so much easier this way. Plus, the moment I get in I’m going to be standing in a line, checking in, and then finding my gate, which you aren’t permitted to do with me anyway. So what’s the point in parking and walking me up to the line to check in? Seriously.”

He hated all of this. All of it. He didn’t want to be away from her for a week. What would he do for a whole week without her (as if he hadn’t lived all of life without her until only very recently)? He begrudgingly stalled the car and went to take her suitcase from the back.

Y/N barely managed to pry it out of his hands, and she could tell he was sulking. And she was sad to go too. She’d been so excited for this trip, but now she wished she could stay back, with him. But she needed to put on a brave face for the both of them. “I’ll text you when we land, and I’ll call as soon as I get a chance to. Okay? Thank you for driving me. And for being so understanding. I know Nick rubbed you the wrong way. You don’t have to worry about him, though. Alright? I’m yours, remember?”, she smiled at him and watched him smile in turn at that.

She kissed him goodbye and waved at Eddie who was plopped on the back seat, and Harry watched her enter the automatic doors to the airport entrance. Someone honked their horn at him to get a move on but he just flipped them off as he watched her turn to the left once she got inside. The front of the entry was all glass so he could still see her. He watched as she walked toward the check in counter and when she was finally out of view he sighed and got back into his car, driving off with an ache in his heart.

The following evening Y/N called Harry, keeping to her word. She had been out of breath and was laughing when he answered the call.

“Harry! How are you and Eddie?” Her sweet voice instantly calmed him, but he was not a fan of her laughing at someone else while he was so far away.

“We’re great.”, a lie. “How’s training?”

She told him a bit about the first day of training. Mentioned the tiny hotel room with two single beds and how she’d been put in a room with Nick, “It’s really just my luck. He’s so annoying. I thought they’d stick me with Lindsy but there’s another new girl that just started on, who I haven’t met yet, and they thought it would be better for her to be with Lindsy and so I’m stuck with,” she paused and lowered her voice, “Mickey.” She laughed into the receiver.

That didn’t sound funny to Harry at all. He was about ready to book a ticket and get out there himself. Book a nice suite for the two of them so he could keep an eye on her. His heart sank when he learned she was in the same room as him. This was the kind of thing his kind wouldn’t put up with. Harry needed to calm himself when he heard another voice in the background, which he knew as Nick’s.

“They put you in a room with him?! What hotel are you in? I’m gonna call and book you your own suite–”

“No! Harry, it’s fine. Plus, this is a small motel. All the rooms are booked because of this training going on. There’s nothing to book for me.”

“Oh, I guarantee I can find you another place to stay.”

“Harry… it’s not necessary. Seriously. I’m just… keeping my distance.”

He heard the voice again, closer this time… Are you talking to your boyfriend? We’re about to leave.

Harry couldn’t help his claws sharpening at that, “Let me talk to him. He doesn’t get to boss you around. Fuck that. Hand the phone to him-”

“Harry… really, it’s okay! I do need to go, though. We’ve got a group dinner and then we’re doing a nightime hiking safety and rescue so we won’t be back for hours. Then an early morning tomorrow, but I can call you tomorrow midday. I’ll have some free time.”

Harry sighed heavily into the receiver. He’d never felt so helpless before. He begrudgingly let her go, and then plopped back on his bed defeatedly. His actual bed, back at the preserve. He couldn’t believe he was letting this happen. His girl was sleeping in the same room as this guy he knew for sure was trying to have his way with her. There was no way Nick hadn’t been behind this whole arrangement. It sounded exactly like the kind of pathetic thing he’d try and pull.

Harry was used to taking things into his own hands and getting them done the way he wanted. But he couldn’t do that with Y/N. He had to shift his thinking if he didn’t want to scare her away. Even though he promised a commitment of sorts to her, by making her his girlfriend, she was still free to do as she pleased.

He was fairly certain that what he had planned, though, would make her want to commit to him even more. Prove how serious he was about them and maybe alleviate all her remaining reluctance to give in to him fully.

Harry had already been planning on getting his own place, as he’d previously told her. A house, as opposed to the apartment he’d led her to believe was his, when in fact it was Niall’s. He needed his own place in town, and if initially he’d have thought to buy an apartment, he now knew he actually couldn’t confine himself in such a small space. And if his plan were to work out, he definitely wanted something much larger.

So Harry realized he needed to make a move to buy a place as soon as possible.

As he couldn’t exactly resort to those in his suborder for recommendations, and Niall’s taste was clearly quite different to his, Harry googled real estate agents and houses for sale. He was overwhelmed. There was a lot. In all price ranges all over town and in the county. Some with land, and others with only a small yard. 2-car, 3-car, 4-car garages… Swimming pools…

Harry dialed the number of a real estate agent, a sort of random pick really. The ad said ‘Luxury Homes’ and that sounded exactly like what he was going for. He just needed someone to help him with this. Someone who could share with him only homes he liked. He didn’t want to waste his time going to house after house after house to decide.

Listening to the hold music, Harry tapped his fingers on his thigh and waited.

“Archie speaking!”

The man’s overly excited voice grated at Harry immediately. Besides, what kind of a name is that?

“Hi, I’m Harry Styles”, he didn’t need to, but he felt like making a point of what a name should sound like. “I’m looking for a house to buy. Very quickly too. Like, a few days' time. A week, tops.”

“Oh… well, I’m sorry, sir, but unless you can pay cash I doubt that any–”

“I have cash. What kind of luxury houses can you show me today?”

“... Oookaaaay. If you’re in the market for luxury homes you’d need to have an awful lot of cash on hand, sir. We’re talking millions.”

“I have the cash. Can you find me a house? If not, I’ll go elsewhere.”

“No, we can work with you! It’s just that we don’t get a lot of cash offers, but let’s see what we can do for you!”

As it turned out, Archie was just as annoying in person. He only had one house to show Harry that very first day because he needed to get keys and set up a showing for Harry for the others.

The first house wasn’t to Harry’s taste. It was a complete waste of his time and he told Archie as much.

“I need the finest finishes and high-end appliances. A very large master bedroom. Landscaped garden in the back. Something a woman would walk into and fall in love with.”

Archie nodded, “Of course, sir! We have a few I can show you tomorrow. I think you’ll find at least one of them suitable.”

Just as he was leaving, feeling nearly defeated that he hadn’t been able to look at more houses on his first try, Y/N was calling.

Harry answered the call with the in-car Bluetooth speakers. Hearing her voice made him feel relaxed and quite a lot more calmed after that disaster of a house Archie had shown him.

She told him about her night hike and then the class they took that morning. She told him she missed him and that a few people had admired the necklace and asked her about the rings which she then got to flaunt, to which Harry grinned widely.

Speaking to her only made him more determined. Archie had told him he’d be seeing three more houses the following day, their most lavish homes, so even if Harry didn’t necessarily trust that the agent knew what he wanted, he hoped these “lavish” homes were really up to his standard.

Harry had hoped Y/N would call again before going to bed, but she didn’t. It made him ache and feel a tightening in his chest. Though she was his girlfriend now, and he trusted her, he still hated Nick being anywhere near her. He was really exercising every bit of his restraint with this whole situation. She was his, and that was simply unacceptable to him that any male would even breathe in her proximity, let alone sleep next to her!

And Nick was the least of his concerns. At least he knew she wasn’t in the least interested in him, and after all- how could she be? When her taste in men was clearly very different. No, what had him worried was the people he didn’t know about. The other rangers she’d be meeting from across the country at this training program. Surely there must have been other specimens, far better than Nick, around her. After all, officers were quite similar to himself in many ways, for the most part. They were in good physical shape, fairly strong, disciplined, adventurous, courageous… And the list went on. Nick was just an exception to the rule, and he knew it.

He imagined her laughing to some other man’s jokes, the way she was when he’d picked up the phone that time, and it made him run his claws into one of his pillows, sending feathers flying everywhere while he lay in bed that night trying, and failing, to fall asleep.

As different as they were, human men did share a lot of his kind’s primal tendencies. They were also heavily driven by their sexual urges, and Y/N was very attractive. On top of that, she was intelligent, empathic, funny. And she had a very strong character. Quite an unique career for a woman to choose, very physical and challenging. She was ambitious and independent. He knew she was a catch, for any man. Of course, she’d have men fawn all around her. And when men saw something they liked, they acted on it. Just like his kind.

Just like he’d done.

Harry felt like laughing sardonically at the way he’d thought the rings could ever deter someone from trying their luck with her. If she’d have shown those rings to him and told him her boyfriend gave them to him he’d have just laughed it off and tried to steal her away anyway. And he wouldn’t have stopped till he’d made her his.

“I’m yours, remember?”, he replayed the way she sweetly told him that just before kissing him at the airport. He tried very hard to remember. Had it not been for the project he was about to undergo back there, he’d have flown to her no matter what. He felt like he was sitting there with his arms crossed while some schmuck was trying his luck with her at any given time.

He’d never felt more helpless. And that was not a feeling he’d ever experienced before.

The following day, after a meeting with a few from his council, he met up with Archie at the first house. It was far nicer than the one he’d seen the previous day, but it still wasn’t quite right.

Harry’s patience was wearing thin. He’d barely slept a wink that night and if this guy wasn’t going to deliver, he didn’t know how he’d handle it; all he knew was that it wouldn’t look good for the agent. He didn’t have time to waste. He needed to get everything done by the time she got back. He needed it to be perfect.

The second house had the most beautiful back garden with flowers, trees, bushes, high privacy fence with vines all over. And the interior was even nicer. High ceilings and wood beams, big windows overlooking the back garden, wide plank wood floors, a chef’s kitchen that rivaled his own at the preserve, a spa master bathroom, and the master suite was to die for. Harry wasn’t one to exaggerate how he felt about something.

Archie even told him the master suite was to die for. And Harry agreed. He could put blackout curtains along the sitting area and fit the biggest bed right in the middle. He envisioned what it would look like with Y/N lying in there on the bed, naked and smiling and motioning to him to come to her.

“Okay. This is the one. How much?”

Archie paused his speech and turned around, “Really? Uh… okay! Well, let’s go downstairs and crunch some numbers. I’m gonna make a call and since you’re paying cash I bet we can knock off a bit from the asking.”

Harry was ready to kill someone. He was paying in cash but the bank still had to verify where the funds were coming from. So he couldn’t take possession until a few days later when he was able to provide a document for proof of where the money was coming from (thanks to Niall’s help with that - something else Harry was clueless about).

He used the time to get Y/N’s apartment cleaned, the carpet replaced, torn and broken furniture removed, and many of her items that were untouched packed and ready for her to move in with him, should she want to. After all, this was the scope of this whole project. And if she wasn’t ready for that step yet, at least she’d have a clean, re-furnished place to come back to- he’d made it even nicer than before, but was careful not to overdo it. After all, he didn’t want to shoot himself in the leg with it.

Once he got the green light on the new house, though, he went into it full force.

Y/N was a little worried at the way Harry had been short with her on the phone for the remainder of her trip. He always seemed like he was in a hurry to get off the phone with her. It didn’t sit well with her and she was beginning to feel insecure. Maybe the time away from him was a bad idea, or he’d found someone else, or maybe lost interest? She couldn’t understand it; and so when she called him the day before she was due to fly home and got his voicemail, she felt her heart sink. He didn’t call her back. And so she half expected that he wouldn’t be there to pick her up at the airport the following day.

She was tempted to mention to Nick that she might need a ride but didn’t want to speak that into existence. And she didn’t need Nick making any comments either. Plus she still had hope that he’d be there, waiting for her like he said he would.

Harry was pleased with the furnishings he had brought in and arranged. He directed the interior designer on where he wanted things because he was far too particular about it. And he could hear the disappointment in Y/N’s voice when he told her he had to get off the phone. Which pained him, but he was doing all this for her. He couldn’t wait for her to return to see what he’d done for her.

He had Niall over to show him around and celebrate getting everything done in the nick of time (pun unintended). Harry had cooked something in preparation for Y/N's return in the state of the art new kitchen and he was absolutely thrilled about it. He gave his nephew his share and then set the table for himself and his friend, going over all the obstacles he’d faced to see this project come to light in such a small amount of time- without abating from quality and all the things he’d envisioned for this house when he’d set out to buy one in the city.

Niall had reluctantly returned to his apartment the morning Y/N left for her trip. There was no reason for Harry to use his place anymore when he could easily drive into town from the preserve. In addition to that, he got to take care of some of the pack responsibilities he’d been neglecting. As it turned out, Niall had thoroughly enjoyed his stay at the Peregrine. Maybe a little too much based on the bill Harry received for everything.

Calling his nephew into the room after they’d finished eating (he’d wandered off once he’d finished his own serving), he informed his friend, “You’ll watch Edward for me tonight. I have to go pick up Y/N and then I’m going to show her the new house.”

“Oh so this is the real reason behind this celebratory feast, eh? You’re hoping you’re gonna get lucky?” Niall elbowed him, wiggling his eyebrows.

Harry rolled his eyes but downed a glass of water in large gulps. Was he ever.

Harry stood at the spot where Y/N would be exiting the terminal with all the other people waiting for their friends or loved ones. At Niall’s suggestion, he bought her a lavish yet tasteful bouquet of flowers and had even handpicked some wildflowers he knew she’d enjoy. He was holding them at his side when he saw her walking hastily with her carry-on being rolled behind her.

She had a small frown on her face and she looked disheveled. Harry hoped everything was okay. He waved as she walked toward him but she hadn’t yet seen him in the crowd. So he stood up straight (he had a tendency to hunch his back a tiny bit when he was standing near humans so as to blend in a bit), and stepped away from the balding man who stood in front of him.

The moment her eyes landed on his dark curls she brightened. Her face lit up and she hurried toward him, “Harry!... You came!”

Harry pulled her into his arms and kissed her temple, “Of course I did. Said I’d be here.”

Y/N backed away so she could look up at him, “Yeah but you didn’t call me back last night. And you’ve been so busy on the phone the last few days I thought… I don’t know… just wasn’t sure you’d be here. I’m so happy you are, though!” She threw her arms over his shoulders again just as Nick walked by, with Lindsy behind him.

Harry smirked at the scowl on Nick’s face and nodded to Lindsy as he picked up Y/N’s carry-on, “Sorry. I was a bit caught up with something. I’ll show you. Come.”

Y/N told Harry all about her training and the new people she met. She seemed to have really fun and that made Harry happy. He was mostly silent all the way until finally, Y/N took a break to catch her breath; she was so overjoyed that he was there and he was still hers.

“So, what have you been doing? What’s had you so busy?”

Harry grinned and turned to look at her before putting his eyes back on the road, “You’ll see. It’s a surprise. It was a lot of work and it kept me occupied but I think you’ll understand once I show you.” He remembered her telling him she enjoyed surprises.

“I’m excited to see what this surprise is… and- where’s Eddie?”

“He’s at Niall’s for the night.”

When Harry got into town and he started driving to an area that was not where she knew his apartment to be, she began to grow more anxious. But when he pulled into a sprawling home with a lovely front yard and big wooden double doors and lots of windows she scrunched her brows and looked over at Harry in confusion.

But then she spotted his convertible that she recognized, along with a few others that were equally stunning in the driveway, and realization was slowly dawning on her.

“What is this, Harry?”

“I bought it,” he gestured around them. “That’s what had me so busy.”

Harry carried her bag into the house before she could react to the news, and Y/N followed silently behind, looking around and then stopping once inside to take it all in.

“You… bought a house and by the looks of it had it furnished and decorated? All in a matter of days? But how?”

“Oh… I have my ways. But yeah… this is it. Take a look around. I think you’ll really love the back garden the most.”

And Y/N did love it. It was gorgeous. All the small architectural details, the rich woods and the beautiful light that came in, built-in shelving, and a kitchen she just couldn’t get over. And the back garden was a little oasis right in town. It wasn’t too big but it was magical and lush.

She’d always known Harry was well-to-do, but this was really exceeding her estimation. By a long shot. Especially to be able to buy a house in such a small span of time, that was quite unheard of. She realized she still had no clue what exactly Harry did for a living.

Harry took in her state of shock, but he knew she was processing it all. He knew she’d have questions for him, more than before, after seeing the house. But he was ready to answer all of them. He had it all figured out. All those lonely nights he’d put to good use coming up with a solid plan, instead of allowing jealousy to eat at him.

He finally led her to the bedroom, showing her the bathroom first. She could imagine soaking in the huge tub and lazing her day away in there. But the bedroom was amazing just the same. Harry had a massive bed installed. A sitting area with windows overlooking the garden…

Harry held his breath in anticipation as she walked around the master bedroom in awe of what he’d done in such little time, but then she stopped in her tracks.

Hung above the walnut dresser, she saw the framed picture of herself with her family and her certificates next to it. The very same she kept hung over her own dresser back at her place.

She put her hand over her mouth and felt herself get emotional. He’d hung her pictures. In his bedroom.

She wasn’t sure what it meant and she didn’t have time to consider the implications, but it stirred something deep inside of her.

The whole day had been a rollercoaster, really. She’d originally been setting herself up to be disappointed in case he didn’t show up to pick her up from the airport - which had fouled her mood completely. But then when she saw him with the beautiful bouquet of flowers… and now all of this? With her pictures and certificates hung, something so sentimental and dear to her… she was overcome.

She felt him walk in closer to her from behind, and then rest his chin over her shoulder. Her eyes welled up when she heard him murmur, “Maybe we can keep them there for good?”

Chapter 9

A/N: (@fkinavocado and @gurugirl here) yeah. he's perfect. sue us lol

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huntingingoodwill · 10 months ago

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personal shopping (d.b.)

masterlist

pairing: dieter bravo x personal shopper! reader

desc: your newest client, dieter bravo, braves the outside world to flirt with you at the farmer’s market. though it defeats the point of hiring a personal shopper, you’ll let him, ‘cuz he’s cute. you’ll play hard to get though. (and mention that javi gutierrez is your favourite celeb client, just to make him jealous)

“He said he needs someone to ‘deal with groceries and shit’ so he can ‘meditate on his art’, which is probably a euphemism for doing coke and wearing the same sweatpants for a week. Don’t tell him I said that.” Lia sighed.

She had introduced herself as Dieter’s personal assistant’s assistant, which you thought was slight overkill, but you weren’t in any position to judge. You had now joined her in Dieter’s league of many ‘personals’. He had a personal assistant, a personal chef, a personal trainer, and now you were his personal shopper.

She led you through his mansion in the hills, thrusting you into the nucleus of his ‘meditation’: a cavernous living room cluttered with empty liquor bottles and designer furniture covered in paint splatter.

“Lee-uhhhhhhh.” Dieter lay face down on the plush carpet, which you thought was quite an unconventional meditation position. “What time is it?”

You watched as he nuzzled his head into the crook of his elbow, trying to block out the rays of sun that shot through the windows. His soft, unruly curls caught the light, glowing warm in the sun as the nape of his neck prickled with sweat.

“10:30, Mr. Bravo.” Lia said, her voice artificially chipper.

“In the morning?” He grumbled, rolling onto his back.

You caught sight of his face, the skin dipping between his brow as he furrowed it, rubbing a hand across the stubble peppered across his jaw. Despite looking an absolute mess, he still looked cuter than he did in his shitty movies. You admired the curve of his nose and his disgruntled, sleepy profile as he kept his eyes closed against the sun. The tan skin of his bare torso was visible beneath an oversized teddy jacket, paired with sweatpants slung low on his hips.

“Was it really necessary to wake me up at this ungodly hour?“ He blinked sleep from his eyes, the irises dark and honeyed as they glimmered in the light.

He caught sight of you, a sudden glint sparking alight in his eyes. His mouth, set with displeasure only a moment ago, began to break out in a smile. He looked up at you, dishevelled and adoring. “Oh. Hello.”

“Hello, Mr. Bravo.” You smirked, watching him scramble to his feet amongst the clutter of crushed paint tubes. You held out your hand.

“Call me Dieter. All my friends call me Dieter.” He intercepted your hand, fingers lingering appreciatively. “We’re gonna be friends, aren’t we?”

You tried to stifle a laugh. As soon as he looked at you you knew he’d be a relentless flirt. It was cute, in a pathetic way.

“I think I’m gonna be your employee, Mr. Bravo.” You corrected, ever the professional. He was cute, but there was no harm in making him work for it a little. “I was just about to head to the market, so I wanted to ask if you have a budget, or any dietary restrictions-”

“Let Mr. Bravo get back to his painting, I can fill you in on the details-” Lia began.

“I can explain everything.” Dieter interrupted. “I’ll even come along.” He said, shoving off his jacket. You felt heat creep up your cheeks as you eyed the broad expanse of his back, the muscle beneath the skin pulling taut as he searched for a clean shirt, pulling it over his head.

“Doesn’t that defeat the purpose of hiring a personal shopper?”

“We’ll call it a trial run. Just so you know what I like. Or we could call it something else. ‘First date’ has a nice ring to it.” He grinned, slinging an arm around your shoulder, a sensation that felt nicer than you cared to admit.

“You come on strong, don’t you?” You mumbled through a derisive smile, feeling his ego expand as you allowed him to keep his arm around you.

“Always.”

“Don’t you have some artistic meditation to do? Lia said you weren’t interested in ‘groceries and shit’.” You said, sidling through the stalls of the farmer’s market.

The cramped little lanes were filled with people, recognition flashing in their eyes as they caught sight of Dieter, who trailed after you.

“This is artistic meditation. I’m watching my new muse at work.” He said matter-of-factly, swinging your basket, which he had offered to carry for you, in his hand. His rings stood out starkly, flashing against the wicker handle.

You rolled your eyes, biting back a grin.

“Lia gave me a list of ingredients your personal chef needs, but do you have any other requests? Any ingredients for when your chef has an off day?”

“I don’t cook. When he has an off day, I just deliver.” Dieter adjusted his sunglasses, which you were starting to believe were less of a means to disguise himself from the prying eyes of the public and more because his hangover couldn’t bear the light. “Just buy me whatever, as long as it’s organic, cage free, GMO free, chemical free…” He said, taking a sip of water from his bottle.

You internally groaned. Though you were used to these buzzwords being haphazardly thrown about by your other clients without really knowing what they meant, you were hoping he’d be exempt.

“Water is a chemical compound.” You muttered, stopping in front of a produce stall, fruits and vegetables enticingly overflowing from the crates before you.

You could see his eyes widening behind the dark lenses of his shades from the corner of your eye as he spat the water back into its bottle.

“Water is a chemical?!” He spluttered.

You arched an eyebrow. “And I saw five KitKat wrappers on your carpet this morning.”

“We all make mistakes.” He chuckled, wicking away water from his mouth as he watched you reach for a lemon, its peel a vibrant yellow. “But that’s unimportant. Will you go out with me?”

A smile broke out across your face, unable to hide your amusement at his direct nature. You handed him the lemon, admiring the black ink of his tattoos etched across his skin as he extended his arm to place it in the basket.

“I don’t date men who can’t cook.”

“You’ll have to teach me then. It can be our second date.” He ran his hand through his hair, teeth flashing in a smile. His hair, already tousled, seemed to become even more unruly, and you resisted the urge to run your hand through it to help him fix it.

“Not part of my job description. I just help my clients buy what they need. Groceries, furniture, clothes… but I doubt you’re very interested in the last one.” You smirked, pointedly looking at his feet, clad in crocs and socks.

He looked down at the fashion offence he was adorned with, shrugging. “Fashion is a social construct. I’d wear a different pair of shoes if you’d go out with me, though.”

“I don’t go out with my clients.” You said, voice bubbling with laughter.

“But if you had to go out with any of your clients, it’d be me, right?”

“It’d probably be…” You wracked your mind, going through your list of clients to find a suitable candidate. “Javi Gutierrez.”

“That hack?”

“I don’t think he’s a hack!” You laughed, defensive. “He’s a good actor.”

“I’m a good actor.” He exclaimed, only to be met with your raised eyebrows and a shrug as you turned toward the next stall.

“Your silence speaks volumes.” He mumbled, faking a hurt tone as he followed close behind you.

“If you like him so much, some people say I look like Javi. We could always play pretend.” He smirked.

You put down the jar of honey you were examining, scanning Dieter up and down, as if trying to look for a resemblance.

“Hmm… don’t see it.” You sighed nonchalantly, refocusing your attention on the neatly stacked rows of jars before you.

“Since you think so highly of Javi, what do you think of me?” Dieter said, a crush of people moving through the lane forcing him close to you. You tried to keep your cool as you held his intense gaze, the cologne he spritzed on before he left the house deep and musky, the vivid scent clouding your senses. You swallowed thickly.

“I think you’re pretentious and hedonistic.”

“I have no idea what you mean.” He smiled, feigning innocence.

“Are you in denial, or do you just have a small vocabulary?”

“Can’t it be both?” He laughed. He looked around, making sure no one was watching, before dipping toward you, his lips barely ghosting the curve of your ear, his husky voice ringing in your head. “If you think using your big words to insult me will scare me off, you’re wrong. It just makes me more attracted to you.”

“Good.” You said, praying he wouldn’t feel the heat radiating off you, a blush blooming across your jaw. You ignored the playful smile on his face, keeping your hands busy as you aimlessly picked through produce. You bought a ripe apple, wiping it clean on your shirt.

Dieter’s eyes lingered on your lips as you took a bite, the crisp skin breaking beneath your teeth.

“So, you’ll go out with me?” He asked.

He held out his hand, and before you even registered what was happening, you had given him the apple, the red, glossy skin gleaming against his rough palm. He took a bite, the fruit’s flesh crunching as juice dribbled down his forearm, tracing the veins beneath his skin.

“Not happening.”

#dieter bravo #dieter bravo x reader #dieter bravo imagines #pedro pascal #pedro pascal fanfic #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal x y/n #pedro pascal x you #the bubble #pedrostories

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lexisecretaccx · 9 months ago

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High School Sweethearts pt.6 - Chris Sturniolo

PT1, PT2, PT3, PT4, PT5, PT7, PT8, PT9, PT10, (rest of the parts on my Masterlist)

(Fem reader x Chris sturniolo, kinda fluffy and cute at the start, bad mother/daughter relationship, pretty sad, grab those tissues, idek what else, not proofread!)

A/n: sorry that I can’t keep y/n happy for more than 1 chapter of this😭😅

I get dressed into clean comfier clothes and I lay back on my bed, Chris joining me. We don’t speak but instead we just lie there, looking up at my ceiling in a comforting silence.

“I am so proud of you.” Chris whispers to me, a smile creeps across my face. ��I want to do more with you Chris, but..” he sits up slightly and interrupts me, “hey.. take things at your own pace okay? Don’t feel rushed, I mean we aren’t even dating properly yet..” he grabs my hand, “not that I don’t want to, I totally want to date you but don’t feel rushed into anything okay?” He tries to reassure me and I smile.

“You wanna date me like for real?” I ask quietly. He sits up fully and so do I. “Well yeah of course, you’re so pretty and..” “so you only like me for my pretty face?” I fake pout and look down sadly. “No! No I wasn’t finished!” He panics and I laugh, his face relaxes as he realised I was joking.

“Anyway, wait what was I saying?” He whispers. “You were saying about why you want to date me I think? I also forgot.” We both laugh. “Oh yeah, I think you’re funny, you’re pretty, you’re kind and we skipped school to go on a date y/n.” He smiles to me.

“If I get in trouble for that I swear I will kill you.” I joke. “Do you want to like.. be my girlfriend or something.” He shrugs and his face goes red as he grins. “Yeah I’d really like that.” I smile at him, my cheeks also flushing red. “Okay! That went so much worse and difficult in my head, so you’re now my..” “girlfriend? Yeah.” We lay back down.

We lay together, both smiling messes. His phone starts to buzz and he pulls it out of his pocket. The screen is lit up “Matt” he looks to me, “I gotta answer this..” I nod as if to say “of course.” He stands off the bed and puts the phone to his ear. “What’s up.” Chris says, I can just about hear Matt from the other side.

Chris

Matt

“Where are you?” “I’m with y/n.” “Okay.” “What?” “Mom wants to you come home.” “Why Matt?” “well she’s making spaghetti” “oh shit really?” “Yeah so come home like right now because she won’t make it otherwise” “okay thank you.” “No problem, bye!”

Chris puts the phone back in his pocket, “what was he saying?” I ask, since I couldn’t hear most of the last part of the phone call. Chris stands in-front of me and kisses my hands, “I gotta head off okay? My mom’s making spaghetti,” I laugh softly and he smiles “I’ll meet you here tomorrow morning so we can walk together?” Apparently he lives like 10 mins from school the other way to me, so he’d have to walk past the school to walk to mine.

“Oh okay, why?” I ask hesitantly, “because you’re my girlfriend.” He smirks and kisses my forehead. “I really gotta go though okay? I’ll see you tomorrow.” He hugs me before walking out my room, I walk after him to lock the door behind him. “Bye.” I smile at him, leaning on my doorframe.

“See ya.” He waves.

It’s been quite a few hours and now it’s 9pm, and I hear my front door unlock, my mom. “Y/n?” She shouts up to me. “Hey.” I walk out my door and sit on the stairs as she takes her coat off and shoes. “How was school?” She asks, walking to the kitchen and I follow her. “You see Evan today?” She’s always been fond of Evan and didn’t believe me when I said what he tried to do.

“Uh yeah..” I reply, not mentioning the fact he had grabbed my wrist, made me cry etc. etc. “are you gonna get back together?” She washes her hands. “No mom. Remember?” I sigh, sitting on the counter of the kitchen. She turns to me in annoyance. “Still y/n? You’re still going on with that thing? Evan is a nice kid!” She huffs, drying her hands.

“You don’t know him like I do mom, he’s horrible!” I try to talk sense to her but she just rolls her eyes. “Go to your room.” She spoke as she sat on the couch, me still following her everywhere shes going. “I don’t want to, I want to talk to you!” I say loudly. “Don’t raise your voice at me, just talk to me if you fucking want to!” she says in an irritated tone.

“It’s hard to talk to you when you’re constantly accusing me of lying! You only want to hear it if it’s about me and Evan or if it’s about you!” My voice cracks. She goes to speak but I continue speaking. “I have a new boyfriend.” I say more calmly. She widens her eyes. “Who?” She half yells.

“His names Chris and he treats me much better than Evan ever did.” I say. “Does this Chris have a stable family? Is he gonna be able to provide for you when you’re older?” She’s only ever cared about her future and how much money people have but never about my life and my heart.

“I don’t know.” I shrug. “You know who does have a lot of money to provide for you?” She shouts, knowing the answer I reply “Evan..” she nods, tears fill my eyes. “Exactly, Evan would be able to keep your family and children supported.” She keeps prodding until I burst. Tears flowing down my cheeks and anger filling through my body.

“Get over it mom oh my god,” I yell loudly, causing her to flinch, “me and Evan are never gonna be together. Do you know why? Because he’s abusive as fuck!” I practically scream. “He was fine when-” she try’s to contribute. “When you met him? Yeah of course he was. Earlier he made me cry, he grabbed my wrist and practically threatened me, but yeah he’s fine.” I start to cry harder.

“Don’t ever take that tone with me again, you can get out of my house,” my mother stands up and walks to me. “You are just like your father.” She hisses before walking past me into the kitchen again.

Those words break me, and I wipe my tears before walking out the front door, slamming it behind me. I didn’t think to grab a jacket and the freezing air hits me, but I’m too angry and sad to notice.

I walk for a good 20 minutes before I sit on the sidewalk and just cry, it’s raining and I’m in a sweatshirt and shorts. A car horn honks and I look up, the headlights blinding me. The car pulls up infront of me and I see Nate in the passenger seat and Michael in the drivers seat, “shit y/n what’s wrong?” Nate leans out the window.

“It’s nothing you need to worry about.” I say. “Chris reject you because you’re a pussy?” Michael laughs and Nate smacks him, “what the fuck Mikey? Do you need a ride anywhere?” Nate looks concerned. I shake my head, trying to ignore Michael’s presence. “Thank fuck.” Michael whispers but I still hear him and Nate shoots him a look.

“You can go.” I motion to the road. “It’s dark y/n what if you get hurt.” Nate actually seems worries, “I’ll be fine, I’ll just go home.” I lie. “Okay see you tomorrow then.” Nate smiles and Michael speeds off.

Chris’ POV

I lay back on my bed scrolling through TikTok when I get a text from Nate. “Check up on your little girlfriend, she’s sat on a sidewalk somewhere just fucking crying.” My heart drops to my stomach as I reply. “What? Where is she” I don’t even deny the girlfriend allegations since they’re obviously true now.

His typing bubble appears, “idk dude it was near the opening to Michael’s street.” I leave him on opened as I rush to get my shoes on and I run down the stairs. “Where are you going?” My father asks me as I’m opening the door. “Girl problems?” He adds on. I shrug, “something like that.” Before running out the door closing it behind me.

I run down and out of my street, and to Michael’s street which is 15 minutes away from mine. I look around rapidly and I can’t see her anywhere. The rain is super fucking heavy, I hope she’s okay. I walk a bit further down past Michael’s street to see if I can find her.

My jacket is soaked through but I don’t care, I need to make sure she’s okay. Then I see something, somebody sat on the sidewalk with their head in their hands. That must be her, I cross the road and walk slowly towards her. Rain dripping down her bare legs, she must be freezing. “Hey.” I breath out, she darts her head up to me.

“Chris?” She asks, squinting her eyes because of the downpour, “yeah it’s me, come here.” I lift her to stand and I wrap my arms around her. She cries into my chest and my heart breaks.

“Do you want to talk about it?” I ask softly, placing a kiss on her head. She shakes her head, “I’m too cold.” She whispers, her voice cracking. “I’d give you my jacket but it’s only gonna make you colder.” I chuckle softly, putting my arm around her waist and I walk with her.

She rests her head onto me, “should I walk you home?” Why could she possible be out here crying? “I can’t go home right now.” She cries, her voice wobbling, “okay, we will go to my house.” I smile down to her and she nods lightly.

We walk together in silence, except for the sound of the rain against the sidewalk and a few sobs from y/n every now and then. We turn down my street and I notice the lights are out in my living room which means everyone’s in their rooms. We walk up to my front door and I open it and lock it behind us.

I lead y/n upstairs and into my room, more plain than her room but it’s what I know and like. I walk into the bathroom attached to my room and grab a towel and walk up to her, she’s standing there with her makeup down her eyes and she’s shivering. “Can I take this off you?” I point to her sweatshirt and she shrugs, “ok” she whispers.

She takes her shoes off before I peel the sweatshirt and cami top off of her, it clinging to her wet skin. Leaving her in her bra and shorts, I dry her off slightly before grabbing a hoodie of mine from the closet slipping it over her head and onto her now dry torso, “can I take these off of you also?” My hands on her shorts, she nods and I pull them off of her over her feet and dry her legs and her face, clearing it of all makeup smudges.

I grab matching sweatpants from my closet and she leans on my shoulders to step into them, I pull back my duvet and offer her to lie in my bed, she does and I quickly take off my jacket and shirt to change into a different dry shirt, I feel y/n’s eyes on my shirtless back and I smile to myself.

I finish changing and I hop into the bed next to her, “do you want to talk about it now?” I ask her, not pushing her to tell me but just wondering. She nods softly, “my mom hates me.” She cry’s into my arms, “I’m sure she doesn’t, what happened?”

I plant a gentle kiss on her forehead as she takes a deep breath and wipes her tear filled eyes.

A/n: y’all I’m crying wtf😭 ik I wrote this but poor y/n she can’t catch a break fr. Idk how many parts are left of this series but probably no more than 10 so idk. Chris is so sweet aswell like girl❤️

Taglist: @blahbel668 @mattsleftnipple03 @rac00ns-are-c00l4 @hysteria-things @sturniologurl4l2008 @jakevwebber @braindead4l @mattybearnard @st7rnioioss @junnniiieee07 @sturniolosmind

—💋——📷——‼️——💌———❤️———💌——‼️——📷——💋—

#sturniolo triplets #matt sturniolo #sturniolo #chris sturniolo #sturniolo fanfic #sturniolo smut #sturniolos #matt #smut #chris sturniolo fanfic

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gblogg · 3 months ago

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Phoenix felt it the moment he woke up—a strange unease in his gut that wasn’t quite the usual nerves. He groaned, rolling over in bed, clutching the sheets as his mind cycled through the day’s upcoming events. He had a proposal meeting today. A big one. As a graphic designer, these meetings were always a bit nerve-wracking, but Phoenix had prepped for this. He had everything lined up, his ideas fresh and bold. So why did he feel like absolute shit?

“Just nerves,” he muttered to himself, rubbing his face before dragging himself out of bed. “It’s all in your head, Phoenix.”

His stomach gurgled, a slight pressure building in his chest as he shuffled to the bathroom. He burped, a quiet, bubbling sound that caused him to wince. "Ugh, come on," he groaned, rubbing his chest, hoping it would settle. He brushed it off as another sign of stress—stress always did weird things to his stomach. He wasn’t about to let this ruin his day.

He'd dressed and downed his coffee with half-hearted enthusiasm when his phone buzzed on the counter. Nico’s name lit up the screen, bringing a small smile to his face.

"Morning, babe," Phoenix said, a little relief washing over him at the sound of his boyfriend's voice.

"Hey, my love. How’re you feeling about the meeting? Gonna knock ‘em dead, right?"

Phoenix let out a sigh, leaning against the counter. "Yeah, I guess. Just, y'know, nervous as hell."

"You've got this, baby. You're a damn genius, remember?"

Phoenix smiled despite himself. "Thanks, babe. I needed that."

Nico's laugh was soft and warm. "Go kick some ass, darling. Call me after, alright?"

“Yeah, I will. Love you.”

"Love you more."

Phoenix hung up, already feeling a little better. But no sooner had he grabbed his bag to leave, his phone rang again. His brother’s name flashed on the screen this time, and Phoenix rolled his eyes before answering.

"Daniel, if you’re calling to wish me luck, I’m hanging up."

Daniel chuckled. "Wouldn’t dream of it. Just wanted to remind you not to fuck it up."

“Yeah, thanks. Great pep talk.”

"Seriously, though, bro. You’ll crush it. Later."

Phoenix sighed again. “Yeah, later.”

***

By the time Phoenix arrived at the office, the discomfort in his gut had morphed into something more solid, more nauseating. His palms were sweating as he tried to shake it off. He’d been nervous before, sure, but never like this. Still, he had to push through.

He greeted his colleagues, exchanged some small talk, and took his place at the conference table, but the queasiness in his stomach was persistent, gnawing at him. By the time he sat down, it was all he could do to keep his head from swimming. He burped quietly, this one bringing a taste of bile with it. "Ugh... what the fuck?" he whispered, gripping the edge of the table as his stomach churned. It wasn’t just nerves anymore, and deep down, he knew it.

The nausea built and built until, without warning, it slammed into him like a wave.

"Oh shit," Phoenix muttered under his breath, standing abruptly and making a beeline for the bathroom.

His stomach turned violently, and the moment he made it into the stall, he retched. Hard. Vomit spilled out, a disgusting, acrid mess that burned his throat and left him gasping. He clung to the toilet bowl, shaking, bile still rising.

“Fuck... I’m actually sick," he whispered to himself, a sinking realisation settling in.

It took a while before the wave of sickness subsided, but it didn’t disappear completely. His stomach was still uneasy, still threatening. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, rinsed his face, and stared at his reflection in the mirror. He looked pale, drawn.

But he couldn’t back out now.

Phoenix somehow made it through the meeting, plastering on a fake smile, nodding, and giving the presentation he’d worked so hard on. Every sentence felt like it was ripped out of him, and he fought down the urge to vomit the entire time. It was a fucking miracle he didn’t throw up on the table.

By the time he was done, his coworkers were congratulating him, telling him how impressive his pitch had been. He smiled weakly and muttered his thanks, but all he could think about was getting home.

The nausea grew worse on the drive, the motion of the car only making things harder. By the time Phoenix reached his apartment, he was pale, sweating, and barely holding it together. He dropped his bag just inside the door and rushed to the bathroom.

He barely made it. His knees hit the tile, but the vomit came before he could position himself over the toilet. It splattered onto the floor, the toilet rim, everywhere but where it was supposed to go.

“Shit, shit, shit!” Phoenix cried, choking as another wave hit. His stomach convulsed, emptying everything it had.

It was a mess. A disgusting, rancid mess. He hated it. He hated how helpless he felt. Tears welled up in his eyes as the retching continued. He hated this feeling more than anything—the feeling of losing control, of being vulnerable, of being so fucking sick.

Phoenix slumped against the wall, panting, still dry-heaving, tears streaming down his face. He could hear the front door open, followed by Nico’s footsteps.

“Phoenix? Babe?” Nico’s voice called out, growing closer until he appeared in the doorway.

“Oh fuck..." Nico’s eyes widened at the sight of the mess, but he quickly pushed his shock aside, crouching down next to Phoenix. "Hey, hey, my love. It's okay. Breathe, alright?"

Phoenix’s chest heaved as he looked up at Nico, ashamed and exhausted. "I... I missed the fucking toilet. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. It’s such a mess—"

"Shhh, don’t apologise," Nico said softly, wiping Phoenix’s tears away. "It’s okay, darling. Don't worry about that. Let’s get you cleaned up."

Phoenix sniffled, feeling small and vulnerable, but Nico’s presence was grounding. "I hate throwing up," he whispered, voice shaking.

"I know, babe. I know," Nico murmured, pressing a kiss to Phoenix’s forehead. "You did great. Let’s get you in the shower, alright? Don’t worry about the rest. I'll take care of it."

Nico helped Phoenix to his feet, supporting him as they stumbled to the shower. The warm water hit Phoenix’s skin, washing away the grime, the sweat, the sickness. He felt like a fucking mess, but with Nico there, rubbing his back, whispering reassurances, it was easier to let go.

“Just relax, okay? I’ve got you.” Phoenix leaned into Nico’s touch, closing his eyes.

As they dried off and Nico wrapped Phoenix in a towel, the nausea seemed to settle, leaving behind a deep exhaustion.

“I think I aced the meeting by the way,” Phoenix said, voice hoarse but carrying a hint of pride.

Nico blinked at him, then chuckled, shaking his head. "How the fuck can you still crack jokes after all that?"

Phoenix grinned weakly. “Talented, I guess.”

Nico rolled his eyes, but there was warmth in his gaze. "You’re fucking unbelievable, babe."

They curled up together on the couch afterward, Nico’s arms wrapped protectively around Phoenix. The day had been hell, but at this moment, Phoenix didn’t want to move forever.

"You’re gonna be alright, my love," Nico whispered, pressing a kiss to Phoenix’s hair.

"Yeah," Phoenix murmured, resting his head against Nico’s chest. "I think I am."

#wonder couple #nico kim #phoenix Fuentez #my writing #sickfic #i somehow really hate this bc its rushed but #gblogg back in business #hopefully lol

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emisprocrastinatingbywriting · 4 months ago

Text

Alone and Forsaken

Chapter 15 Summary:

Jackson is not what you expected. While Joel's past comes back to haunt him, you have a hard time trying to reconcile the grieving version of him, with the man you love. Meanwhile, the secret you have been keeping has become nearly impossible to hide, especially since you have your own ghosts coming back to haunt you. Will you able to finally tell Joel, or will you remain silent?

Warnings: Angst, Hurt & Comfort, Joel's Past Has Got Hands and So Does Reader's, Tommy Miller is a Little Shit (Lovingly), Talks About Self Harm and Substance Abuse, Smut, Miscommunication, A/B/O Dynamics, Secrets Being Kept Poorly.

A/N:

Hello folks! I hope you guys have been doing well :)

This is our first look into reader and Joel getting to Jackson. Lots of angst, as it seems Joel was not completely honest with reader about the reason he left the community after Ellie's death. Some fluff and comfort ensues, as well as more angst as reader is also not being honest. Don't worry, I've broken it up with some smut for you guys ;)

As per always, thanks for reading! I hope you enjoy <3

Chapter 15/20

Chapter 15: A Change is Gonna Come

Rough hands gripped your cheeks, a welcome distraction from the chilliness of the early morning as a deep timber mumbled words you couldn’t quite understand. You hummed, still delirious with sleep and unable to bring yourself to open your eyes as the voice continued attempting to rouse you.

“C’mon honey, it’s time to wake up now. Open them pretty eyes for me baby,” Joel cooed in your ear.

You smiled, nuzzling deeper into the scarred expanse of his chest. He sighed in frustration when you refused to budge and you waited for his next plan of attack.

The first time Joel had woken you with kisses and a calming voice, it was him just trying to be sweet. He had whispered sweet nothings in your ear, kissing all over your face with the promise of a hearty breakfast waiting for you if you got up from bed. Since then, everytime you were woken up by him, he would be sure to attack your face with a plethora of gentle pecks until you finally blinked your eyes open. Cocooned in a mess of soft blankets and warmed by your mate, you had greedily waited for them to come as he tried and failed to get you to open your eyes.

“Darling, we gotta get up. C’mon now, I ain’t playing with you,” Joel tried, his tone marred with frustration.

“No.”

Another, more drawn out sigh came from him that forced you to bite back the giggles that threatened to spill from your lips.

“If you want to wake me up, you’ll do so in the correct way,” you chided.

“Baby I don’t think -”

You snorted, “Then I’m going back to sleep.”

The blankets were pulled up even further to reinforce your point. Melting into his side, you sighed and eased all signs of wakefulness from your body. Joel groaned in annoyance and you bit back an even bigger grin. It was impossible not to toy with him when he made it so easy for you to press all of his buttons.

He grumbled a stormy words under his breath, but he still leaned in and placed a few hesitant kisses across your cheeks. They were so soft that you barely felt them, aside from the scruff of his beard that was chafed against your cheek. Not that you were complaining, the burn of his beard against your softest patches of skin was almost as delicious as the kiss itself.

Blinking your eyes open, Joel’s weathered face came into view. He was surrounded by the rays of sunshine that poured in through the windows. Despite the grime that he had acquired along the journey, his graying curls still glinted in the sun and you longed to comb through them until he relaxed. Warm pools of chocolatey brown captured your gaze, turning your insides into melted goo as you buzzed with adoration beneath him.

When he didn’t return the grin you were slightly miffed, confused at his sudden cold shoulder after last night’s breakthrough. The lingering ache between your thighs, along with the handprints bruised your hips, were enough evidence to remind you of the connection that was shared. While you were finally feeling loosened up from the love making, Joel was stiff as a board. In fact, he looked absolutely pissed as he snapped his eyes away, glaring at the other end of the room instead of looking at you. It was only when you heard a stranger’s cough that you understood his grumpiness.

With the sheets clutched tightly against your naked body, you propped yourself up on your elbows beside him with widened eyes. The room was mostly the same, aside from the man that was leaned up against the side of the couch with a shit eating grin. His dark hair was long and curled around the ends, pushed back in a way that showcased the beginnings of gray along the sides of his head. With a dark mustache above his full lips, along with a strong jawline that sculpted his tanned face, you couldn’t help but think that he was handsome. Not quite as handsome as the furious man beside you, but still.

Although he was a stranger, you felt no immediate danger being around him. It wasn’t just that he was clearly a beta, with his average height and non threatening presence, it was how he looked at you. The expression he wore, despite it being slightly more lax, reminded you of Joel’s whenever he was in a good enough mood to joke around with you. All you felt was a dizzying sense of deja vu as you studied him, trying and failing to place him in your past. When his mustache twitched, an even brighter grin threatening to take over his face from your pointed gaze, it finally clicked.

“Tommy,” you breathed out.

It wasn’t a question. There was no doubt in your mind that he was Joel’s brother. Although they were more lively, Tommy’s eyes shared the exact same color and ability to pierce through anyone in their path as his brother. Along with that, the dimples that Joel saved for the smiles shared with you were mirrored on the younger man’s face. A satisfied grin graced Tommy’s lips at your guess, his teeth gleaming in the sun as he nodded in response.

“At your service ma’am. It’s nice to finally meet ya, been wondering when the hell you two would show up,” he laughed.

Joel ground his back molars together in annoyance, a bad habit that he relied upon when he was stressed. You looked between the two men, sensing the tension radiating off of Joel at his little brother’s nonchalant presence in the room. The empathetic noise you made was soft, meant only for your mate’s ears as you pressed closer to him to ward off whatever distress was brewing within his mind.

“Oh don’t mind him sweetheart, the bastard is just feeling extra territorial because y’all were but-ass naked when I found ya. I reckon it’s his big ol’ alpha brain rearing up to rip my head off,” Tommy joked, wiggling his eyebrows at you.

There was no time for embarrassment at Tommy’s accidental glimpse at your nude form, not when Joel was suddenly growling at him and pulling himself from the ground. Steam was practically pouring from his ears, with a flush growing up the side of his neck as he positioned himself to strike. Yanking him back by the scruff of his neck, you barely managed to reel the alpha in before he lunged.

Joel doing something that a less hormone fueled version of himself would regret could not happen on your watch, especially not over something so stupid. Of course it was embarrassing, but Tommy didn’t seem particularly interested in leering at you. If the simple ring that adorned his left hand was any indicator, the beta was only trying to razz his older brother. And while you were completely aware of the harmlessness of Tommy’s ribbing, Joel’s triggered instincts had reared him up for a fight. It was nearly impossible to hold back the wall of muscle that was prepped to destroy any threat, even if the threat was imaginary.

The grip you had on his body made him groan in annoyance and he whipped his head back to glare at you. There was a fire in his gaze, only dying down when you sent him a pleading look that was coupled with a whine. Anger, desperation, fear, regret, and contempt all played out on his face, as the more refined part of his brain went to war with the instinctual response he was having.

As misguided as the response was, you understood where it was coming from. Over the few months you had known each other, so much had happened. Joel had found you, fallen in love with you, bonded with you, and then almost lost you. And it was not just the one time that you had almost slipped through his fingertips, but so many times that it was inconceivable that you were still breathing. At any other time, Joel would have known that you were completely safe with his brother, given that he was the same man he had known since he was two years old, but the alpha in him didn’t care for blood ties. The bond that mattered to him at this point was the one he had sealed with you.

“Tommy, go wait outside for us. We’ll be out in a minute,” you carefully instructed the youngest Miller.

The guffaw that came from Tommy made Joel’s jaw click, his eyes fully dilated and ready to pounce on the man that lounged lazily against the abandoned sofa. Rage practically radiated off of Joel, making you sweat from head to toe from the blazing heat. His body leaned over yours, shielding you from his brother’s view despite your attempts at squirming away from him. Joel grabbed your hip under the blanket, effectively stilling your movements so he could drape himself over you, you shoved his face into your neck.

With Joel’s face pressed into your neck, growling muffled threats for his brother against your delicate skin, you looked over his shoulder. Tommy was shocked, his eyes widening in disbelief as you smothered his brother in your scent in an attempt to hold him back. You raised an eyebrow at the beta when it looked like he might make a joke, daring him to push the envelope further when your mate was this vulnerable. The expression on Tommy’s face shifted again, first flickering to recognition before it melted away into a look of admiration.

“Look, it’s nice to meet you and all, but we haven’t exactly had an easy journey. It’s best that you clear out before he rips your fucking face off. I don’t think it matters much that you’re his brother right now,” you urged him.

Tommy’s face fell, his eyes shifting to your fingers struggling to keep Joel’s head in place before he got the hint. As if the alpha could taste the nervousness that was rolling off the other man, Joel tried to remove himself from the crook of your neck and you cussed, whispering soft words into his ear to keep him distracted. His scent was soured, teeth barred as you kept one hand on the back of his neck and the other shoved into his curls.

“Right uh, apologies ma’am. Didn’t mean no harm, I’ll go wait with the recruit. I told him to stay back when I smelled Joel. Newbie’s probably wondering what’s going on in here anyways,” he mumbled, inching his way to the door as Joel began to buck against the hold on his neck.

With his jovial bubble popped, you watched as Tommy hurried over to the front door to escape the wrath of his feral brother. It wasn’t until the door slammed shut behind him that Joel released the breath he had been holding, slowly sinking into your body as the threat got further and further away from his mate.

“Hey, hey, hey, it’s okay baby. It’s just your brother, we’re okay. There’s no danger. It’s just Tommy,” you soothed.

Scritching at his scalp with one hand, you smushed his face into your neck so he could huff at the skin. Joel grumbled and growled, still too keyed up to do anything other than spit dark insults about his brother. He didn’t mean any of it, you knew that. This was nothing but an instinctual need to protect you, a need that was underscored by way too many close calls for his liking. With Aspen’s group likely still fresh in Joel’s mind, there was no telling what he would have done if you hadn’t stopped him.

Luckily for Joel, the scarred gland under your ear emitted a scent that could overpower any of the many moods he was accustomed to. When he finally sucked in a deep whiff of the skin there, he sighed and began to trace a line up your throat with his nose. Throwing a leg over his hip to pull him even closer, you wrapped yourself around him until no space remained. As Joel’s body began to relax, you decided to try again.

“Joel, honey, it’s fine. Tommy didn’t mean anything by it. Plus, he’s fam-”

“He ain’t nothing if he looks at ya in that state. Only person who gets to see you like that is me, not him,” he cut in, his lips brushing against your skin with every syllable.

You resisted the urge to roll your eyes at his bitter response. That was not how Joel truly felt and you knew it. He was letting his fears and recent experiences mix with his instincts, creating a perfect storm where he would gladly take out his own brother for the mistake of a poorly timed walk in. There was nothing to do but to hold him close, allowing him to nip at the sensitive skin below your ear until the storm passed. And just as you knew it would, the tension slowly drained from his body until he was groggily humming at the fingers scratching at his scalp.

“Was Tommy leering at me like some creep? Or are you mad at him for the simple act of walking into an unlocked house?,” you tried, hoping that he was calm enough to be reasoned with at last.

Joel sighed and pulled his face away. Pink tinged cheeks told you everything you needed to know. He groaned at your knowing smile, burying himself back into your neck in embarrassment as you laughed at him. Kissing the side of his face, you bit back all of the jokes you could make about his state.

“He could’ve knocked,” Joel grouched.

You chuckled, “Ah yes, because I’m sure he was expecting to see his brother naked and tangled up with some random chick. That was totally just what the guy needed to see at the ass crack of dawn. We’re probably gonna give the poor guy nightmares babe.”

Joel squinted at you for a moment, the lines on his face becoming more pronounced with displeasure as he gripped your sides. The squeal you let out was loud, bouncing off of the walls as he rolled you back underneath him. He loomed over you, brows coming together in a look of concern as he cupped your face. Thumbs brushed against the apples of your cheeks, making you hum at the sweetness.

“I don’t want to ever hear you say that again, you hear me?,” Joel snapped, making you blink in surprise at the harshness in his tone.

He softened then, pressing a kiss to the tip of your nose as he sighed, “You are not some random chick baby, never call yourself that. You’re my mate, my family - the love of my fucking life.”

Melting against floorboards, you felt the heat that flushed the tips of your ears and ran down the side of your neck. He might not think so, but Joel certainly had a way with words. Whether it be the sweet assurances and compliments he showered you with, or the straight up filth he growled into your ear as he fucked you, each sentiment that was drenched in his syrupy southern drawl made your stomach twist in the best way possible.

The kiss that he pressed to your lips made you gasp, the gentle passion of it taking you completely off guard as he sucked your bottom lip into his mouth. Pressing yourself further into him, you were reminded of the lack of clothing on your bodies when Joel’s soft cock pressed mindlessly into your inner thigh. A soft whine bubbled to the surface, making him chuckle at your neediness as he pulled back. Leave it to Joel to have you desperate with one simple kiss.

“Okay,” Joel sighed, leaving one last peck on your nose before he moved to get up, “We should probably get on with it.”

“But Joooel,” you groaned, earning a sharp look from him.

He shook his head, “C’mon honey, doubt Tommy and the other guy would take too kindly to me fucking you while they’re waiting on us.”

You sighed but relented, bracing yourself for the frigid air as you kicked the sheets away.

Joel dressed quickly, somehow always managing to beat you to it despite the many layers he was always sporting. After he was done, he knelt before you, ignoring your whines about him hurting his knees as he laced up your boots. Even though you were slightly annoyed that he was ignoring your concern, you couldn’t help the way your face flushed at the action. With each boot came a few kisses placed on your calves, the feeling of his soft attention making you feel girlish and giddy.

“Ok darling, let’s get out there,” he sighed as he finished with the last one.

Joel laced his fingers with yours, leading you towards the front entrance with a determined stride that you had to work hard to match. With his nerves shot from the previous encounter, he didn’t seem to notice your scurrying feet. You were basically dragged behind him, trying desperately to match his pace as he threw the door open. Joel stepped out into the sun, halting so suddenly that you slammed into his back with a grunt. He didn’t react, clutching your hand like a vice as he mindlessly stomped towards the unfamiliar horses that mingled with the stallion Joel had stolen.

Tommy whistled as you approached,“Finally, wasn’t sure if you were going to be able to convince the grizzly bear to go back into hibernation.”

Joel scoffed,“Boy, would you shut up? God damn, I got half the mind to turn my ass right back around and high tail it out of here.”

He was only half joking. Nevertheless, the laughter it caused was genuine and you were shocked when the younger man felt emboldened enough to throw his arms around Joel. You watched the reunion from a few steps back, feeling wary of Tommy’s brashness until Joel returned it with a muffled chuckle. With the two men hugging and slapping each other's backs harshly, a custom of the male species that you had never fully understood, the alpha finally relaxed completely.

“Shit, I missed your sorry ass,” Tommy laughed as he pulled away, gripping his brother by the shoulders with a million dollar smile on his face.

Joel grinned and nodded, scuffling his feet before he replied with more muted, “Yeah, guess I missed you too.”

Tommy released him, turning towards you with a big grin that you couldn’t help but return. Joel cleared his throat, gruffly giving him your name with an awkward wave of the hand.

“It’s nice to finally meet you, Joel has told me a lot of stories,” you greeted him, reaching out to shake his hand but it was batted away.

Instead, this golden retriever of a man wrapped you in a bear hug that had your toes barely touching the ground. The oof you let out was involuntary, along with the comfortable chuckle you let out at his gaul. Whereas Joel was standoffish and guarded, his brother was sociable and carefree. They were truly each other’s yin and yang, complete opposites that had depended on each other because of their differences. The differences that, in the end, had also kept them apart for so many years. You had about a million questions to ask him but refrained, not wanting to anger Joel by digging for answers from his brother.

While patting Tommy on the back, you finally managed to catch a whiff of his scent. Being a beta, his was not as strong as yours or Joel’s, but it was still there. The smell of campfire and coffee, accentuated with notes of something nuttier and sweet that undoubtedly came from his mate, surrounded you. It was surprising. Such a deep scent for such a cheerful man seemed outlandish, yet you had the feeling that the beta likely had many layers that you weren’t aware of. Some people had to fight brutal battles, external and internal, to claim their happiness in this world. Perhaps he was one of them.

Tommy tsked as he pulled away, “None of that formal shit, you’re family now. Besides, if you can put up with him then I’m sure you’re practically a saint.”

“I think the way you found us this morning would prove otherwise,” you joked.

Joel groaned in embarrassment at your crass comment, almost drowning out his brother’s cackling. You snickered a bit, letting Tommy’s infectious laughter get to you for a second before you looked back up at Joel. The glare he sent your way was semi-playful, but a bit charged with the same discomfort from before and you made a note to tone it down a bit. Just as you turned towards Tommy, beginning to change the subject for Joel’s sake, the younger man cut you off.

“Oh, there he is. Hey newbie! Come on over here, got some people I’d like ya to meet,” Tommy called, waving his hands at the tree line.

Tommy turned back with another easy smile, launching into a review of the new recruit that you had a hard time paying attention to.

“Kid has only been with us a few weeks, not too keen on patrolling but I think he’ll do great in the greenhouse. Not much of a talker either, but nice enough given the circumstance -”

Tommy’s babbling suddenly became background noise, replaced by the sound of your pulse quickening in excitement. Cloves and citrus wafted over from the treeline, tickling your nostrils as you wheeled around to face the newcomer head on.

Cooper trudged through the snow, his green eyes trained on the ground as he hummed some nameless tune. His mousy hair had been trimmed since the day you had saved him from Paul’s alphas, the longer strands perfectly framing his face in a way that made your heart soar. There was only one person who would give their mate such a chic haircut, someone who once confessed that he would rather die than wear a pair of capris, and that person happened to be your best friend. In an instant you were gone, sprinting over to him and crushing him a hug that knocked him back a few steps.

“Uh, hey to you too?,” Cooper stammered, his hesitant hands coming up to awkwardly pat at your back.

If asked, you couldn’t say why you hugged him. Never had the two of you shared more than a five minute conversation, much less an intimate embrace. Maybe it was the fact that Cooper smelled like Jake. Maybe it was the fact that, unlike the two men standing behind you, he knew what it was like to grow up as you had. Maybe it was simply because he was familiar, someone you had seen on a daily basis since childhood despite having never talked. Or maybe it was because of how he had helped Joel escape and subsequently broke his promise to you, unwittingly ensuring that you survived the showdown with his brother.

Either way, you clung to Cooper for a few more seconds, hugging him tighter than necessary as he floundered in your grasp. After a minute of this, you smiled when he finally sighed and pulled you into a semi natural hug. There was still some awkwardness there but you were pretty sure that Cooper existed in a state of continuous discomfort, meaning that his slightly stiff posture was nothing personal.

You let a few tears roll down your face and cursed yourself for being so emotional. Although you were happy Cooper was alive, having already forgiven his role as a bystander when you learned of the abuse he had endured from his brother, he was not the person you wanted to see. Cooper was the socially anxious alpha who you knew in the weirdest of ways, not his firecracker of a mate. Reminding yourself of that, you finally pulled away.

“I’m…,” you choked on a cry and tried again, “I’m very glad that you’re alive.”

Cooper nodded dumbly, looking utterly flabbergasted at your random burst of affection towards him. You sniffed and whimpered, suddenly feeling so small in front of the lanky alpha that constantly seemed unaware of his own height and build. He frowned at the shift in your mood, stepping back to give you space despite the fact that it was you who had embraced him first. His eyes squinted in confusion as they raked over your shaking figure, trying desperately to find any injury that would account for the unusual behavior.

Anxious, ridiculous thoughts came from the recesses of your mind. Outrageous fears about x-ray vision that could potentially spy a developing fetus rocked through you, forcing a fresh batch of tears to the surface. That was when you felt Joel behind you, gently turning you away from a baffled Cooper and leading you back over to the horses with his hands on your shoulders. Wiping your eyes of the unshed tears with shaky hands, you allowed him to direct your path.

“Darling, uh - are you good? I mean, I don’t care. You can hug whoever you want but I don’t know, I never pegged you and him as the best of friends,” Joel whispered curiously, trying to keep his voice as low as possible.

You shook your head dismissively, “M’just tired and he smells like Jake, that’s all. Want to see my friend, I miss him.”

Although he nodded in response, you knew that Joel wasn’t buying it and neither were you. Why were you so emotional over seeing Cooper? You weren’t entirely sure but you had a sneaking suspicion that it had something to do with the other thing. The thing that you were trying hard to avoid thinking about. Regardless of your own doubts, there was no way you were bringing it up to Joel. Not until you were absolutely sure. There was no need to give him a heart attack if it wasn’t true, even if you were internally crumbling over it yourself.

The loud clap that Tommy gave made you jump, everyone’s attention shifting over to the beta as he gestured towards the horses.

“Hate to break up the reunion but I think we oughta be getting back. Lunchtime soon and Maria will probably want to see you before it gets too late,” he announced, turning back so he could lift himself onto his horse.

Cooper nodded and followed his lead, jumping up on his horse with less finesse but still managing to get himself on without falling off. Joel nodded at you to follow him, climbing on with ease before he pulled you up onto the seat behind him. Wrapping your arms around his soft tummy, you pressed your cheek against his warm back as the horse began to move.

“Alright, let’s take her easy on the way back. No need to be rushing in all this mess,” Tommy called as he trotted out from the gates, gesturing towards the snow drifts that dotted the area.

Joel scoffed over the wind, following his brother dutifully despite his apparent dislike for the speed. He clicked his tongue, signaling for the horse to move faster so that he was riding alongside Tommy. The youngest Miller looked over, nodding at you before he rolled his eyes at his brother’s expression.

“Gone soft or something? Scared I’m gonna beat ya there?,” Joel goaded.

You smiled at his teasing, enjoying seeing the side of Joel that was still an annoying older brother. One that simply had to disrupt his sibling’s peace by shaming him into a race. It made you slightly jealous, having never had a sibling yourself, but you pushed the feeling away. It was good that Joel kept the sibling in him alive, perhaps the fractured relationship still had a chance of being repaired with this visit.

Tommy grinned at him for a second before his gaze flicked back to you, his face getting more somber as he did. You cocked an eyebrow at the intensity of his gaze, unsure of what it meant.

“Nah, reckon you’ve got precious cargo,” Tommy answered quietly, those all knowing puppy dog eyes shifting to your stomach for a brief flash before they shifted back to Joel.

The air you had in your lungs stilled as you stared at the side of Tommy’s face. How in the fuck did he put it together in the three seconds he had known you? Was it that obvious? Panic bloomed in your gut, spreading a cold sweat across your body at the thought of someone who wasn’t a dead cult leader knowing about the secret you kept. The secret that you weren’t even sure was true. Would Tommy tell him before you had the chance? You hoped not.

Joel snorted, “Her? I’m sure she can handle a little race.”

“Oh, I’m sure she can. That’s not what I was saying,” Tommy answered, clicking his tongue at the mare and leaving his brother behind.

As Joel mumbled to himself about his brother being weird, he fell into a comfortable pace with a flick of the reins. Meanwhile, you were frozen in fear behind him. The sound of hooves provided the perfect background noise for Tommy’s words to echo in your ears. If the beta could tell this soon, along with Aspen, how much longer could you hold out before it became glaringly obvious? And again, was it even fucking true? There was a small part of you that was still holding out hope, despite the evidence that was beginning to pile up, that Aspen had been wrong. But the truth seemed to rear its head at you at every turn and it was as ugly as ever.

You strained against the confines of murky memories for a timeline, trying to figure out when exactly you would have conceived this mystery child, but no date stuck out. Every time you had sex with Joel he had finished inside of you. He couldn’t help it and you didn’t want him to, as stupid as it sounded. There were only so many pleasures in this world and from the moment he had exploded inside of you the first time, groaning as a torrent of his cum soothed the desperation that twisted at your core, you were both hooked.

Of course you knew this would happen eventually but you stupidly believed, despite the fact that you were a perfectly healthy woman in her mid twenties, that it would happen sometime in the future. There was a more romantic part of you that had thought it would happen at the perfect time, even dreaming up a ridiculous scenario where Joel broached the topic himself. It was a ludicrous reach, you knew that, but dreams were safer than a reality where any mention of it would get shut down immediately.

Before you could sink any deeper into all out panic, you pushed thoughts of the unforeseeable future from your mind. There was no solid proof of anything yet, just a few off hand comments made to an overly sensitive omega who had every right to be emotional. Until you knew for sure, there was no use in the constant worrying. Sighing at the stress that Tommy’s comment caused, you pressed yourself into Joel’s back as he guided the horse towards Jackson. The feeling of his soft midsection comforted you, along with his gloved hands pulling your cold fingers up to his mouth to blow on them.

Joel warmed your hands with one warm puff of air at a time and you let your eyes fall shut. As if your eyelids could provide protection from the conversations that loomed in the future, you shut the world out and focused on nothing but the feeling of the man in front of you.

Jackson was big. Way bigger than Joel had described and way bigger than you had ever imagined. The walls towered above you when Tommy finally led you through them, shouting at the guards to stand down before a man with a thermometer came out to check your temperatures. You cringed when the barrel of the thermometer pressed against your forehead, with unpleasant memories of QZs coming to the forefront of your brain for the first time in years, but the man moved away from you before you could get too squirrely.

“S’alright pretty girl, they’re just doing their jobs. We ain’t a concern,” Joel said in a soft voice, turning his head so that he could look at you when he did.

You nodded and pecked the corner of his mouth, earning a brief flash of a smile from him before he hardened his expression again. While the horse moseyed towards the stables, Joel straightened himself up and withdrew into his usual grumpy demeanor. Each time one of the many residents that milled around glanced your way, Joel’s withering scowl would answer the stare. You knew it put him at ease to guard you in whatever way he could and if you were being honest, you were glad to be shielded from their probing gazes.

Joel pulled off in front of the stables, jumping down from the horse before he lifted you from the seat. Grunting softly from the effort, he snorted when you threw your arms around his neck with a frightened squeak. When your legs finally freed themselves from the horse, you grunted and wrapped them around his waist, terrified of falling to the frozen ground. His snort morphed into a chuckle as you buried your nose in the collar of his jacket, whining his name when you felt him try to put you down.

“None of that right now sweet girl, too many looky-loos,” he mumbled in your ear, pressing a chaste kiss against your hair.

Grumbling as he placed you on the ground, you glowered up at him the second you felt the crunch of the snow beneath your threadbare boots. Joel scoffed and shook his head, rolling his eyes at your theatrics before he thrusted his hand out. Cocking an eyebrow at him, you stared at the hand in mock defiance and he looked like he was about ready to throttle you.

“Would you cut it out?,” Joel groaned in annoyance, making you smile in turn.

He pursed his lips when you grasped his hand, pulling it to your lips to kiss at the bruised knuckles. Despite the hardened expression he was putting on for the onlookers, you saw the way he softened slightly from your touch. It was only when a wolf whistle rang out in the open air, making you both freeze in place, that the moment was shattered.

The sudden noise made Joel jump and he pushed you behind him, the hackles rising as he fretted about the potential threat towards his mate. You gripped at the back of his coat, ready to reel him back if his instincts took over again. But there was no threat, only a younger brother who was laughing at his older brother’s distress while a serious looking dark skinned woman stood beside him.

The woman peered at you with curious eyes, shifting them back and forth between you and Joel as if she was trying to solve a puzzle. And you looked back, studying the way her locks framed her face and her silver nose ring glinted in the sunlight. The two of you made direct eye contact, leading to a comfortable staring contest that ended with her mouth quirking up in a small smile. After a few more seconds of sizing her up, you slowly returned it.

“My name is Maria, welcome to Jackson. I’m sure you’ve heard a bit about us from Joel, but let’s get you fed and then we can talk a bit,” Maria said, keeping her gaze trained upon you despite the fact that Joel was still standing in front of you.

You nodded and stepped out from the alpha’s hulking shadow, following her towards the dining hall where the community held their meals. Despite the probing glances sent your way, Maria didn’t intimidate you as she did Joel. There was a warmth behind her authoritative demeanor, something that Josiah and other group leaders you had met never had. As you followed her towards the delicious smells of cooked vegetables and meats, you noticed how the residents greeted her with easy smiles or a respectful nod as they passed. After the fifth resident said their hellos to her, you realized that this woman, whoever she was, was not in using her position for the power it came with. Maria was in her position for the people themselves.

However, the benevolent leader did not save you from the scorn of the sea of faces that turned your way and gawked as you walked into the dining hall. Tables packed with residents sat under string lights, their steaming piles of food forgotten as they stared at you with either pity, disgust, or thinly veiled humor. The spotlight had rarely been on you for the majority of your life and this… Well, this was not the kind of attention anyone wanted to get. That much was clear as one of the residents practically gagged when you velcroed yourself to Joel’s side, trying desperately to shield yourself from their stares. The whimper that managed to crawl out of your throat was high pitched and needy, immediately catching Joel’s attention.

“Hush baby, s’alright. They ain’t looking at ya because of anything you did, this is because of me,” he whispered in your ear, placing a comforting hand on the back of your neck.

As Joel directed you towards a table near the back, you tried to take comfort in his confusing words. Calloused fingers pressed into the sides of your neck, a warm thumb brushing over your sensitive mark until you sighed. Looking around the room, you realized that he was right. These people weren’t staring because they were judging you. All of their judgment seemed to be reserved for Joel, while all of their pity was shamelessly directed towards you. For some reason, the pity felt even worse.

Joel pulled the chair out for you, dropping a kiss onto the top of your head for good measure as he pushed you in. The action caused a plethora of hushed whispers to explode from the surrounding tables, their gossip blanketing the room in a low hum of chatter. He rolled his eyes at it, but otherwise gave no indication of noticing as he eased himself down onto the chair beside you. His guard was all the way up as he sat with his arms crossed, biceps bulging under his coat in a way that would usually have you drooling.

After watching him practically bare his teeth at the community that clearly had some sort of bone to pick with him, you scooched closer and placed a hand on his thigh. Squeezing it gently, you called his name. Joel snapped his head towards you and softened ever so slightly, studying your face intently for a moment before he looked back towards the crowd. All it took was one scoff from a bystander for him to harden again, but this time he surprised you by responding to it by pressing a kiss against your cheek, effectively staking his claim in front of the sea of nameless strangers. You flushed and smiled at him when he pulled away, the reaction of the town getting lost in the thick haze of love that this man surrounded you in.

“Aw, well ain’t that sweet,” Tommy teased, once again ruining the moment.

Maria elbowed her mate in the ribs, shooting him a pointed look as he rubbed at his smarting side. You sighed and looked away from Joel, rolling your eyes at the smart mouth that your mate’s brother had.

“What? I can’t say nothing? All they do is stare at each other all lovey dovey, I can’t make a single joke about - OW! Maria?!”

His sentence was cut short by yet another harsh stab at the man’s rib cage by his increasingly frustrated wife. She glared at him, shifting her eyes between him and the line that had formed in front of the canteen until he finally got the hint. Grumbling under his breath about pointy elbows, Tommy excused himself from the table to collect food for you both. The second he was out of earshot, Maria straightened up in her seat, oozing a self assuredness that you couldn’t help but envy as she began to speak.

“A couple weeks back, a group of strangers stumbled through these gates. They were pretty banged up,except for the kid, but they all talked about some alpha named Joel that had told them about this place. Tommy thought it might be you, but I had my doubts,” Maria started.

The only sign Joel gave that he had heard her was a grunt of affirmation and you sucked your teeth at his inability to play nice. You squeezed his hand, hoping that the action would remind him that it was going to be okay. Realistically, there was no way his brother’s wife would turn you both away, right? But when Maria leaned forward in her seat, her gaze pointed directly at Joel as she continued, you heard the venom in her words.

“I thought to myself, there’s simply no way that it could be the Joel Miller I had met. That poor bastard would rather live by himself in the woods than with his cuck brother and his bitch of a wife, isn’t that right? Or am I missing something here?,” she hissed.

You blanched and turned towards him in shock. There was no way that Joel had said that about his own family. The Joel Miller you had bonded with would never be that cruel. Joel had left Jackson because of his grief over Ellie, the memories he had of her here had been too much. That was why his brother still tried desperately to remain in contact with their twice a year meetups, to make sure that he was alive and taking care of himself. Surely if Joel had said those things, Tommy would have left him for dead.

“And oh, how about when you told Tommy that his son was going to die? Something about us being selfish for having Frankie, about us not being able to take care of him? Does that ring a bell Joel?,” Maria continued, her face still schooled despite the rage that leaked into her tone.

Stomach clenching at her words, you didn’t even have to look at Joel to know that it was true. The silence that ensued was proof enough. Bile burned the back of your throat as you stared at the beta’s face, watching her nostrils flare in frustration while your mate refused to answer her. Why would he say those things? And more to the point, is that what he truly believed? That every child born to this world was doomed to die a horrible death? If he truly felt that way about his brother’s family, how well did the bode for you when the inevitable moment of truth came?

Maria sighed at his prolonged silence, “So, what now Joel? You come in here after Ellie -”

Joel’s face snapped up at the mention of his pup, his face contorting into a menacing sneer as his nostrils flared with anger. His rage practically sizzled in the open air, making the string that connected you thrum with energy as he raced towards a boiling point. Amidst the confusion and disappointment you felt, you gripped his hand to keep him tethered, putting aside your own emotions to bring him back down to earth. His head turned towards you, eyes flashing with a rage that had a strong undercurrent of poorly disguised guilt.

“You come in here after Ellie died and scared your brother half to death. Tommy was a fucking mess, not sleeping or eating, while he chased your sorry ass around town. And what do you do? Get drunk off your ass for two days, pick a bunch of fights, insult him, and then disappear!,” she snapped.

“Tommy was a mess? Over me?,” Joel asked dumbly, his voice laden with disbelief.

Maria sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose, growing increasingly impatient with him. You didn’t blame her. The distaste she had for Joel was making more and more sense with each second that passed. If Tommy had been your mate and you were in her shoes, Joel would’ve been shot at the gate for even thinking that he could come in after saying such things. But she didn’t, she had allowed in the strays he had sent her way, and even invited the two of you in for lunch. That told you all you needed to know about Maria.

Rubbing at her temples to ease some of the stress, she finally sighed and opened her eyes. To your surprise, her gaze had softened into something akin to understanding. Although a hint of anger lingered, Maria looked at him with thinly veiled compassion that made Joel shift in his chair.

“Of course he was a mess Joel, Tommy is your brother. Just because he doesn’t talk to you about his feelings, doesn’t mean he doesn’t have them. He was worried about you. Hell, he’s ALWAYS worried about you,” she said.

“Well, um, I,” he stammered.

Maria groaned and shook her head at Joel, trying hard to remain compassionate in the midst of his emotional constipation.

“Joel, think! Tommy’s brother had just lost his second child and was completely broken, meanwhile he was a new father himself. Don’t you think he felt a bit conflicted? Don’t you think he wanted to help, even if it got in the way of his own family?,” she pressed.

Joel twitched uncomfortably in his seat, the guilt he felt making the mark on your neck burn with discomfort. You cupped it absentmindedly and Maria’s eyes flashed your way, leaning back in her seat at the realization that his discomfort was affecting you. After staring at him for another moment, burning him with the heat of her gaze, she relented.

“Look, I don’t know what it is you want from him this time, but you’re on thin fucking ice. If I hear you say a single thing out of turn to him, or anyone else, you’re out. I don’t give a shit whose brother you are, I won’t have it,” she said.

“I-I…,” Joel swallowed and tried again, “I had no idea.”

She cocked her head at him, “I know, that’s why I told you. The only person’s comfort that has ever mattered to you, is your own Joel.”

Her words hung heavy, thickening the air until it was filled with nothing but the guilt that pressed Joel into his seat and the muted resentment Maria exuded in return. That last part wasn’t true, you knew that from first hand experience with Joel, but you knew defending him wouldn’t save him from the hole he had dug for himself. All you could do was sit there in silence, rubbing his leg absentmindedly to keep from running away screaming. The tension in the room became so bad that you found yourself cutting it with the first question you could think of.

“You said m-my family came? How are they? When can I see them?,” you asked nervously, making both of their heads turn towards you.

Maria smiled at your question, a genuine warmth coming from her that calmed your sensitive nerves. You felt Joel relax as the spotlight switched to you, freeing him from her scorn as she answered your innocent question.

“They’re here. Jake is on his rounds right now, he’s been helping the nurses at the clinic while he tries to figure out what he wants to do. Although, it seems that he might take over as the town hair stylist. Lucia is getting too old, her arthritis is making it hard on her,” she sighed.

The thought of Jake as the town hair stylist made you grin. He had always been fashionable, skirting around Josiah’s rules about modest clothing in ingenious ways to ensure he remained somewhat presentable. And his skills with a pair of scissors had been proved every single time your mother tried to cut your unruly strands, with his hands always making quick work of whatever disaster she had produced. In just a few minutes, your hair would be saved by his skills as he filled you in on whatever gossip he had overheard from his trusted source. The trusted source that you now realized was probably his future husband. Yeah, you thought, being the hairstylist would be perfect for Jake.

“Cooper has been a bit trickier, can’t quite seem to figure out where he fits but he’s willing to try any job we throw at him. That counts for something, I suppose,” Maria chuckled, “I’ve been letting him stay home with the kid, she’s too young for school so that excuses at least one of the two for a bit.”

You winced at that, knowing how many times the words inadequate and weak had been used by others to describe the alpha. Cooper wasn’t a fighter by any means, he was too beaten down by years of abuse, but that didn’t mean he was useless. With Jake’s family in mind, you suddenly felt the need to defend him. Going through your rolodex of memories for anything of use, you could only come up with the same two memories you had of him from your upbringing to aid in his defense.

“He was always either in the library reading or outside gardening. Cooper keeps to himself, so I don’t know much, but I know that he read every book that came his way and his flowers always bloomed no matter what,” you remembered aloud.

Maria nodded to herself, “I’ll keep that in mind. Tommy said he was thinking about putting him in the greenhouse. It sounds like that might be the perfect spot for him..”

She smiled and thanked you, just in time for Tommy to come back with two trays that were piled high with steaming food and drink. He smiled as he handed you the tray, winking when you quietly thanked him for the feast he had given you. Joel grunted when his brother slapped his back, giving him a strange look when he sat down in front of him. If the younger man noticed the way Joel’s gaze pierced through him, like he was trying to dig into his brain for answers, he didn’t say anything.

“Alright,” Tommy exclaimed, rubbing his hands together as he sat alongside his wife, “What’d I miss?”

A beat passed.

“Joel was just telling us about how he met his mate and how they ended up here, wasn’t he?,” Maria sang, hiding her cheeky smile at Joel’s obvious discomfort.

You had to give her props, it was a cold move to force Joel into divulging his secretive life to the brother he had apparently abandoned. So cold, that you had no choice but to rescue the floundering man when he tried and failed to come up with a single word. Ultimately, you realized that it was your job as Joel’s mate to come to his defense, even when he was reaping what he had sowed.

“Oh but he’s awful at telling stories, let me do it,” you joked, brushing off the request with a dismissive wave.

Tommy laughed, “Shit, ain’t that the truth. You’re right, best you do the talking. Go on, shoot.”

And so you began. Luckily for you, Jake had already filled them in on the complexities of your previous group, allowing for you to start the story when Joel had found you by the river. Somewhere in between the point when Joel was taken and when you had your big show down with Paul, you felt his hands grab yours. He gripped them so fiercely that his knuckles turned white, as if he was afraid you might float away if he didn’t hold on to you.

The memories were painful to recount but unlike Joel, you could bear it. But for him, reliving his time imprisoned and you slashing through all of the Paul’s men before you tried to sacrifice yourself was downright torture. Joel only spoke up once, to correct your guess on how many days you were apart, but stayed unbearably silent for the rest of the time. All of the muscles in his body were taut, tensed for an attack that had already happened sometime ago.

By the time you finished off the tale with an edited version of Aspen’s group, leaving out the words she had said to you alone, Joel was glued to your side. He was staring at his plate, eyes never once leaving the food as it turned cool in the open air. Your hands were being held hostage in his lap, with his thumbs rubbing over the backs of them until they were raw. Each time you moved an inch to the left he easily pulled you back into him, a soft growl leaving him whenever you attempted to flee.

“Um…That was uh, wow,” Tommy mumbled, scratching at the back of his neck as he tried to think of anything to say.

Maria was harder to read. She looked upon you with a new found interest, her eyes wide with wonder and just a hint of amusement. It was clear she saw something in you, whether it be something good or bad; you couldn’t tell. After a breath, she leaned forward and placed her hands on the table, shifting her gaze between the two of you while she spoke.

“It sounds like you both have been through a lot. Let’s get you set up and we’ll talk again tomorrow when you’ve had some rest. Tommy will get something to put your dinner in, that way you can eat in peace,” Maria declared, pushing herself up from her seat.

Tommy guffawed at her order, “I will?”

She looked at him and smiled, a hint of playfulness behind her eyes as she answered with a pointed, “You will.”

With an exaggerated eye roll, Tommy was up and bounding off to grab something to transport your food. Maria smiled softly as she watched him go, allowing you to see a sliver of the woman that loved her husband, rather than the leader who she had to be for Jackson. There was a duality about her, a softness that was cocooned in a barrier of leadership and diplomacy. You witnessed it first hand when she shifted gears, quickly wiping the love she had for Tommy from face as she turned back towards the table.

“Tommy will take you to your new place, it’s near the edge of town. It’s a bit older than the rest of the homes, so there aren’t too many residents out that way. Makes it a lot quieter, which I figured you’d like,” she sighed, looking at Joel as she said it.

He nodded, “Thank you.”

“I’ve got to go pick up Frankie but I’ll be back around once you’re settled. If you need anything, let me know and I’ll see what I can do,” she continued, her gaze this time pointed towards you.

And like that she was gone, leaving you to stare after her as you worried about the implication of her statement. What did she mean by anything? Just as you were about to ask Joel what he thought, Tommy came back with boxes and gathered your food. You watched as the two men boxed up the feast, the thought of eating making you feel sick.

Ignoring the way people stared as you left the dining hall, you kept one hand on Joel’s arm as you strode through town. He was none the wiser, accepting your touch with grace as he continuously surveyed the area for threats. However, the type of threats he was looking for were nowhere to be found. The only threats that existed in this town seemed to be the nosy neighbors that lined every street. Nevertheless, the desire to protect him from their piercing gazes and scathing whispers was strong, and you found yourself glaring at more than a few of the people.

Tommy kept up a one sided conversation with his brother as he led you towards the home. He was unphased by Joel’s silence and seemed to be ridiculously fluent in the different grunts the eldest Miller let out to acknowledge his comments. It was sort of impressive. However, although his rambling was good natured, it grated on you to no end.

By the time Tommy reached the quiet cul de sac near the furthest edge of Jackson, you were about ready to strangle him. Joel was better at hiding it than you, having likely learned over the years how to tune him out, while you had to dig your fingernails into your palm to keep from slapping him. There was also no way that you could’ve helped the nasty look you sent his way when he offered to walk you to the door. Tommy’s eyes widened at your sullen demeanor, muttering an excuse about checking the schedule for rounds before he turned on his heel and hurried away.

It wasn’t like you needed any more direction than the point of a hand. Save for two homes that hugged the mouth of the poorly shoveled street, the rest of the places you passed by were in varying stages of decay and looked like they had been left to rot. A set of shutters on one of the houses banged against the window pane with each sharp gust of wind, making you jump every few seconds. You stepped closer to Joel, using his presence as a cloak for the unease you felt as he stomped over to the house at the very end of the street.

A white fence with chipped paint surrounded the yard, giving it a homey feel that reminded you of the summer days you had once spent at a grandmother’s house. Trees surrounded the home, shrouding it in mystery until you were about halfway up the driveway.

The house was white with weather beaten gray tiles that covered the slanted roof, providing a pleasing accent to the eye. Neglected vines crawled up the columns that stood at the entrance, snaking up towards the small balcony that sat atop of it. You gasped when you reached the door, marveling at how the sides of it were adorned with slits of lightly colored stained glass. Even Joel, despite his radio silence since the conversation with Maria, was clearly impressed by the building when he stepped inside.

“She’s a fucking beauty,” he murmured to himself, running his hands along the wood panels of the mud room.

You sat down at the bench tucked into the side of the room, quietly untying your boots and hanging your coat up on the rack as Joel quietly marveled at the woodwork and the patterned tiles on the floor. Leaving him to his impromptu lecture on the ingenuity of early 1920s craftsmanship, you opened the door and walked into the warm embrace of the home.

An antique chandelier hung above your head, with all of the bulbs missing save for the one that flickered on and off with every blink of the eye. There was a staircase in front of you, as well as a living room to your right and a room with a piano to your left. The living room was cozy, with a few knitted blankets and pillows thrown on the couches and dusty photographs lined up against the mantel above the fireplace. Tasteful paintings hung on the blue walls, exuding a quiet elegance against the deep color. Sunlight filtered in from the large windows and you noticed how the trees that surrounded the home kept it safe from onlookers.

Joel sucked in a breath from the room with the piano, making you turn and follow him into the room to see what it was that he had found. The piano sat in one corner, tucked in amongst the tall walnut bookshelves that were lined with faded works, but it was the reading nook nearest to the road that he was looking at. A guitar rested against the cushion, looking as though it had been placed there deliberately by someone, and he brushed his fingers over the strings. The unreadable expression plastered on his face that made you turn back into the hall, allowing him a chance to collect himself in peace.

The next room was a dining room covered in dust, with the silverware from the original occupant’s last meal together still stacked upon the crumb filled plates. Used fabric napkins had been discarded on the table, the chairs knocked over in a frenzy as the family likely decided it was time to leave. Your heart panged at that, thinking about Joel’s own accounts of that day. Shaking yourself out of it, you pressed forward.

The halls were coated in darkly colored floral wallpaper that gave the allusion that they were wider than they actually were. More than a few times, you found yourself bumping your hip against one of the few door handles to closets that spotted the halls. After peeking into the small half bath with the chipped mirror that sat near the end of the hall, you found yourself walking into a decently sized kitchen.

The walls were painted a soft yellow color that was highlighted by a kitschy painting of cartoon yellow ducks that marched in a line towards some reeds. A breakfast nook sat in the corner of the room, the table filled with supplies someone had likely dropped off at Maria’s request. A door to the cellar was right beside it and upon looking down the steps that descended into complete darkness, you latched it shut. Your nerves were too shot for a trip down those creaky steps.

Hearing Joel’s heavy footfalls coming closer to the kitchen, you scampered over to the door that marked the end of the home, leading you out to a chilly sunroom that was filled with musty books and abandoned board games. It wasn’t that you were avoiding him or the talk you needed to have. Well, maybe you were, but the day had already been so exhausting and it wasn’t even suppertime yet. You knew he would follow you in due time, but you wanted just one moment alone in the quiet bubble that the room provided.

The sunroom looked out over a backyard that was nothing but a sea of white, save for the thick lines of trees that caged the home in at all sides. As you sat still on the old futon that was shoved in the corner, looking out at the isolated yard, you suddenly understood why this home had been lent to you and Joel. It provided you both with privacy, something that was sorely needed. You made a note to thank Maria and Tommy later.

“This is quite a place,” Joel said from the doorway and you hummed in agreement.

He sighed and sat down on the opposite end of the futon, hesitantly granting you some space rather than saddling up to your side as usual. There was a small part of you that wanted to let him leave you alone, to ignore him while you worked through all of the things you had learned about his last visit here, but you muscled through it. Regardless of anything Joel had ever done or said, he was still your mate.

Joel had been cruel to his brother, uncaring of Tommy’s undoubtedly triggered emotions as a new dad when he tore through town. He had said things, unforgivable things, that were enough for his own sister in law to dislike him enough to threaten to kick him out if they were ever repeated. And then there was the drinking, which you hadn’t even known had been a problem for him. After the plethora of talks the two of you had had, you thought that you finally knew everything about him. It felt stupid to feel betrayed, especially with the secret you were keeping from him, but you couldn’t help the way your stomach twisted with resentment.

At the same time, he was still the guy you loved with every fiber of your being, despite all of the shitty things that he had done to get to this moment. Joel was the guy that cooked for you everyday, he was the guy that carved you a rose when he couldn’t figure out how to get real flowers during the wintertime, he was the only man you had ever felt comfortable to let touch you and would remain that person until the end of time. All of these things made him undoubtedly yours but they also meant that despite your frustration, you needed to hear him out.

“Look honey, I’m sure you’re not happy with me and I… I get that. What I did, what I said, it wasn’t right, but let me explain,” Joel pleaded, his voice laced with desperation that tickled your nervous system.

The cord between you was pulled tight from the stress, leaving you with no other choice but to provide him with comfort. Carefully, as if not to spook him, you scooched over until you were leaned up against him. He sighed, throwing an arm over your shoulders as you snuggled into his side and played with his free hand. As you greedily siphoned the warmth from his hulking frame, you felt it when the stress started to roll off of his shoulders, easing the tension from him until he was finally relaxed.

“Joel, it’s okay,” you chided, “I’m not going anywhere, remember?”

Joel squeezed you tighter for a few moments, wordlessly thanking you for the reassurance before he dove into his side of the story.

“Okay so, when Sarah died I was in a bad way. I tried to follow her but I fucking missed, s’why I’ve got the ugly ass scar on my nose,” Joel explained, speaking so fast that you almost missed it.

You made a distressed noise at his admission. Not because of him recounting his attempts on his own life, although it pained you that things had gotten so dark for him, but that he felt the need to disparage himself for surviving. That scar, along with others, were parts of him that you cherished. They proved that he was alive, that he had lived through so much and would continue on despite the cruelty of life.

“Don’t say that, I’ve always liked Joel. The first time we met, I remember thinking how it made you look more rugged and handsome,” you said.

He shook his head, smiling at the compliment. Joel pressed his lips to your forehead in thanks, effectively hiding the color that stained his cheeks. Taking a breath to calm himself, he started again.

“I couldn’t do it again, not after Tommy found me,” he halted for a moment, breathing in and out a few times before he continued, “He was so mad at me but I didn’t - I couldn’t carry it. Nothing seemed to matter anymore, not even him, so I found other ways to escape it.”

There had been times, much like him, that you had used different tricks to escape from reality. Much to your disappointment, they usually only prolonged the inevitable breakdown that was brewing within. But for Joel, it seemed that his breakdown had been locked away for a little over two decades, waiting for his mate to come by and loosen the strings on his soul with a bond. As your chest ached at the thought of the agony he must have lived with, day in and day out, you wrapped your arms around his midsection and hugged him tightly. That seemed to give him strength and when he spoke up again, his voice was clear.

“I’d use anything,” Joel pressed on, mindlessly rubbing at your forearms as he spoke, “Fighting, killing, drugs, sex, booze, anything that would make it all go away for even a second. It was a quick fix but fuck, anything was better than living with the truth.”

He sighed and shook his head at his own admission, “When I met Ellie, it was bad. My nightmares about Sarah had come back and I was popping as many pills as I could to keep them away. Then after we got her, Tess died, and I had to… Well, I mean, I didn’t want to stop but…”

When he trailed off, you piped up, filling in the blanks based on what you knew of Joel and his character. If Tess, his self proclaimed best friend, was dead and he was left alone with a child, there would have been no other choice than to clean up his act.

“You sobered up for her,” you said, providing him with the words that failed him.

“I didn’t want to,” Joel was quick to admit, almost like he was trying to force you into seeing the bad side of him.

But that was the thing, you saw all of the bad parts of Joel Miller as clear as day. You knew what type of man he was, completely, whether he wanted you to or not. And the admission that he wanted to keep poisoning himself with substances didn’t bother you, in fact it made complete sense. Sarah had died and a part of him had died with her, only to be painfully revived by another random kid. Of course he would want to drink himself under the table from that, who wouldn’t?

“It doesn’t matter that you didn’t want to sober up at the time. Nobody ever wants to stop numbing the pain, it fucking sucks and it’s a hassle. What matters is that you did it,” you pointed out.

Joel sucked his teeth, frustrated at your unwillingness to surrender to his self hatred. He wanted you to flip out, to scream at him for being nothing but a selfish prick, you knew that. Coming clean about his self harm was like a form of self sabotage to him and the fact that you weren't following along to the script he had made up in his head was grating on him. Regardless of what he said, you weren’t going to budge. Reaching one hand up to the left side of his chest, you cooed at him as you rubbed at the tightness there.

“Breathe baby, it’s just us here,” you reminded him.

The noise Joel let out was pinched with frustration, at you and at himself. His head flopped against the back of the futon and you sighed, hauling yourself up so that you were straddling his lap. With gentle hands, you raised his head from its place against the cushion so that he would look at you. When he finally did, you tsked at the tears that formed in the corners of his eyes. Joel was on the verge of breaking down, you could sense it like a dog sensing an oncoming hurricane, and quickly launched into comforting him with all your might.

“Oh baby,” you sighed, placing a gentle smattering of kisses across his face.

He whined at the affection and tried to push you away but you stayed strong, grabbing his hands and placing them on your hips as you worked. While your nose skimmed his throat, lips brushing up against the fresh and old indents that marked your claim on him, you felt a few stray tears land on the top of your head. Ignoring them, you continued to dote upon him until he started to shake with all of the overwhelming emotions he was having.

“I didn’t mean it, I was just… I couldn’t fathom why someone would put themselves through that, knowing that they could lose it all in an instant,” Joel choked out.

And there it was.

You sighed and sat back to look at him again. Brushing that one pesky curl that always flopped against his forehead back into place, you waited patiently for him to continue. Joel swallowed hard when your fingers wiped the tears from his cheeks, while his hands tightened their grip on your hips until you were sure they’d bruise. You watched as his throat bobbed, his eyes distant as he tried to think of the words to express what he was feeling. After a minute of this, Joel cleared his throat and continued.

“When Sarah died I had dreamt about finding the fucker that made the order to kill her, to finally even the score, but killing the FEDRA didn’t do anything, it didn’t bring her back. And killing the fireflies didn’t bring Ellie back either. They stayed dead and all it did was make me feel worse,” he explained.

You nodded, thinking back to all of the people you had killed. Paul’s group had been easy, plucking off every alpha that graced your presence had been satisfying at the time, fun even. But it did little to soothe the sting of years of abuse and a forced marriage, if anything it only made you more bitter. Paul’s death, even with his disgusting desires and attempts to take you against your will, didn’t quite provide you with the relief you had hoped to acquire. You had almost died trying to kill him and Joel had been hurt in the process. There was no revenge in the world that was worth that much.

Joel sighed, “I came to Jackson because I didn’t know where else to go. Everyone I knew was gone, except for Tommy, but I didn’t realize how bad I was. I’d drink and get into stupid fights, snapping at anyone that even looked my way. Then one night, after I got kicked out of the bar for busting a bottle off some asshole’s head, Tommy tried to talk to me and well…”

You nodded, your chest aching at the way his eyes fluttered closed in shame. Everything Maria had said was true and it didn’t take a genius to figure out why. It was ruthless, cruel even,for Joel to look at the one person that could possibly help him and dismiss him as such. However, you understood it, that black hole of despair that sucked up everything in sight. There were many times in your life where that hole had been the only thing keeping you alive.

“I understand now,” you sighed, pressing your forehead to his.

Joel cleared his throat nervously, “And?”

Leaning back, you cupped the scratchy surface of his cheeks, holding him in place as you leaned forward to press a kiss to his lips. He inhaled sharply through his nose but otherwise stayed still, looking at you with wide eyes when your lips finally parted from his.

“And I get it. Not in the same way, but I do. Pain is… comfortable. Of course you lashed out on Tommy, it was the only thing that could help distance you from everything else,” you reasoned, making him lift a brow in return.

“I mean… Yeah, that’s probably true sweetheart but how - What makes you say that?,” he asked, his tone filled with curiosity.

You looked away from his probing gaze, watching a crow squawk on the branch of a tree outside. Distant memories of beatings and pinches swirled in your mind, the thought of muffled screams in your cell in the pit making bile rise to your throat. The sound of Josiah’s voice echoed throughout the house and you jumped a little in Joel’s lap, so steeped in the past that you were sure that he was just around the corner for a second.

Joel cussed at the tears that sprung to your water line, gripping your hips as he flipped you over onto your back. While pressing the weight of his body into yours, he caged you in with his forearms on either side of your face. With Joel’s warmth and scent covering you, the delicious scent of bergamot and sandalwood coating the back of your throat, the haunted memories slowly melted away.

“Josiah used to beat me when I acted out and sometimes everything would get to be so much that I would get caught on purpose, just so that I could feel something other than fear,” you finally admitted.

Joel blinked but stayed silent, allowing you the space to speak about the pain you had endured.

“Same with my mom, she wouldn’t beat me but she pinched my fat. It was always something about the way I presented myself, like if she thought I was gaining weight she wouldn’t let me eat, or if I was too loud she’d lock me in the house for a few weeks,” you mumbled.

The pinches to your more curvy parts were brutal, especially as a developing teenager who had no say in how she developed. And now, even as a fully grown woman, any time you were critical of your own body, it was her voice that echoed in your ears. Instead of teaching you to love the thickness of your thighs and the slight pudge in your abdomen, she saw all the flaws someone had once pointed out to her and preyed upon them in you. It wasn’t until Joel came into your life that you had realized that your body was capable of being desired, that it was worthy of being loved.

Worse than the focus of your weight had been the isolation. For weeks you were stuck inside of the small house, confined to a bedroom that doubled as a cell when you weren’t cleaning or cooking under her watchful eye. It made you nauseous thinking about how she was constantly poised to attack, ready to spit hellfire through her teeth at any chore done slightly wrong.

Locked away from the rest of the camp and the sun, your darkest thoughts had become louder and louder until you started punishing yourself as a distraction. Pinching your fat, refusing meals, and saying awful things to yourself in the mirror felt better than accepting the fact that it was your own mother that had done this to you. And plus, maybe if you agreed with her, if you hated yourself as much as she hated you, she might finally leave you alone.

“I started doing it myself, the pinching, the insults, and the starving, all of it. It was the only distraction I had when they kept me away. That’s why…,” you halted, trailing off before you could burden him any more.

Joel shook his head, his eyes pleading for you to continue as he leaned forward to kiss the tears that warped your vision. You let him, sighing at his gentleness, reveling in it before you continued with your own tale of woe. Being in Jackson was hard for you too and it had memories of not only your parents coming back up, but the memories of the isolation you faced while in the pit. Joel had only heard an edited version of your time there, with you not wanting to bother him with the dark recollection, but now was as good a time as any.

“In the pit, they beat you first. Then, they starve you. If neither of those things worked, they’d put you in the sweat box,” you sighed, remembering the smell of it, “It’s a super small, very hot room where you can’t lay down. You just stand there for days without any food or water, sweating like hell and standing in your own shit until someone lets you out.”

He swallowed hard as he hovered over you, his scent souring slightly from the anger that turned his neck red and splotchy. You sighed, shaking your head as you tried to find a way to put it all into words.

“If I’m ever clingy, that’s why. I don’t like it when you leave me alone, it just feels like that. And now, I’m worried that what happened with Tommy could happen again, that you’d leave if things got complicated between us instead of sticking around to talk it out with me,” you admitted.

Joel pressed his forehead to yours again, breathing in the same air as you as he tried to hold back every bitter thing he had to say about your childhood home. The effort it took for him not to react was condemendable, you felt the strain of it in the way the mark on your neck ached, but he somehow managed to swallow it down. In thanks, you pecked at his cheek.

“I can’t promise ya that I’ll be the best at um… Well, we both know that I ain’t great at this talkin’ stuff but I’m not going anywhere. I can’t believe you think I’d ever try, I love ya honey,” he promised.

You nodded, “Okay.”

“Okay,” Joel mimicked softly.

The quietness of the room lulled you into a peaceful state that was not anywhere close to slumber, but still left you relaxed enough that Joel had to carry you back inside due to your unwillingness to get up. The stress of the past few days had caught up, leaving you absolutely drained.

He allowed you to wrap yourself around him like a koala bear as he climbed the steps to the second floor, chuckling at your soft whimpers as you nosed at his hair and rubbed your face against his neck. Joel passed the first three bedrooms, only slowing down ever so slightly to examine them for a second before he kept going. After passing a few closets and a plum colored bathroom, he carried you into the master bedroom.

Thick knitted blankets covered the bed and you had to resist the urge to moan at how soft the mattress looked. A few boxes of clothes were pushed up against the door to the closet, as well as another placed on one of the dressers. All you wanted was for Joel to let you down so that you could change out of your rags and promptly drag him to bed for a nap, but instead he strolled into the bathroom.

“Mmmph, Joooooel, why?,” you whined.

He hummed, “I know baby, shower first and then we can sleep.”

You grumbled but allowed him to place you on the counter between the two sinks. Joel turned and fiddled with the faucet, holding his breath until a steady spray of warm water graced his fingertips. He turned back and smiled, kissing both of your cheeks before he started to undress you. The gentleness of his hands was hypnotic, forcing you into an almost meditative state with the simple brush of his rough hands. It was only when he reached the button of your high waisted jeans that you jumped, a jolt of panic rushing over you at the thought of him so close to the bump that didn’t even exist yet.

Joel grimaced at your sudden shyness, frowning as he pressed his hand into your lower abdomen. You stilled, heart hammering in your chest while he rubbed over the skin there. The world was crashing down around you, forcing tears to gather at the corners of your eyes as you awaited Joel’s judgment. Of course he knew, it seemed that everyone else had. You bit your lip, debating on whether or not you should just say it before he finally beat you to it.

“You’re beautiful sweetheart, no need to be shy. Always so fucking sexy, no matter what. Love these hips, this tummy, these fucking thighs, shiiit,” he murmured, pressing a hot trail of kisses down the column of your throat.

Oh.

All of the tension left your body at his inability to understand the gravity of the situation and he smiled, believing it was his compliments that eased your stress. Joel shot back up and caught your lips in an easy kiss, one that almost made you forget the way he had almost fumbled his way into getting a confession from you. For now, you pushed it aside, focusing on the feeling of his fingers digging into your thighs as he carried you into the steaming shower.

“Oh fuck,” you moaned, half from the feeling of his cock grinding into your core and half from the feeling of the hot water that pounded into your back.

Joel caught your lips again as he pressed you into the tiled wall, careful to ensure that your head didn’t knock against it when he started to rut into your folds. Keening at the way the head of his cock slid over your sensitive clit, you keened against his mouth as he continued to tease. The hot water made you both sweat, reddening Joel’s side as he fervently mouthed at your neck, but neither of you cared. The slickened glide of his length against your pussy was too good to stop.

For the first time in weeks you were somewhere safe. Somewhere where Joel could fuck you for hours on end without having to keep the noises to a minimum. Somewhere where there were no fears about raiders or infected busting down the door. Somewhere where nobody would come to steal one of you away. The possibilities of this place were endless, just as they had once been at the cabin when you first began your relationship with Joel and it made you both ravenous.

“Shit baby, I need mmfph - fuck, need it so bad,” he groaned.

Clenching around nothing at the pure desperation in the alpha’s voice, you scratched at his back and whined for more, more, more, more…

Joel hissed at the red lines you dug into him and shifted so that his length caught on your weeping hole with every thrust. His presence was overwhelming in the steam filled room, with his musk, body and words turning you into nothing but a toy for him to rut against. The only thing you could think about was how badly you needed him deep inside, hitting that one spot that only he could reach, the spot that had you falling apart for him every single time.

“You sure you want more honey? Want me to break that little pussy open on my cock? Don’t want it to hurt, want to take care of her, wanna make her fucking cry for me baby. Shii-iit” he moaned.

You gasped when he caught one of your nipples in his mouth, leaving you brainless as he sucked and nipped at it until you were bucking against him. The smirk he gave you as he held your hips still against the wall made you whine, which quickly turned into a choked shout when he bit down on the opposite nipple hard.

“Pleeease, fuck!,” you whimpered, squirming as he continued to torture you, “Want to feel you throb inside of me, want you to cum so deep that it’s leaking out of me for days.”

Joel growled and lifted his head, looking at you with hooded eyelids when he finally pressed inside. He was slow, pausing with every inch to aid in the sting of his width and you could tell it was a struggle for him not to slam into you. The heat between the two of you grew, with both of you whining and panting into each other’s faces as he eased his way inside. It felt like Joel would never reach the end as he carefully carved out a ridiculous amount of space for himself inside of you until you could swear he was tickling your belly button from within.

“J-Joel, ooooh my god. Feel soooo big,” you croaked.

There was a slight pinch when he finally nestled himself all the way in, giving way to a mind numbing pressure that left you a boneless mess. Every throb of his cock was answered with a twitch from you, until the both of you were desperately clinging to each other against the tile. The tears that rolled down your cheeks were licked up by Joel before he kissed you and you moaned at the saltiness of his tongue. He hadn’t even moved yet but you were already so cockdrunk, licking messily into his mouth until he broke and sucked at your tongue.

When Joel finally pulled back, taking a second to watch the string of spit that connected you stretch and break, his irises were all but gone. Nothing but endless pools of black stared back at you, looking like they wanted nothing more but to tear you to pieces. He licked his lips absentmindedly and you whimpered at the action, needy for him to give you something, anything.

“Tell me whatcha need sweet girl, swear that I’ll give ya anything,” Joel uttered, his eyes roving all over your flushed face as he kept his hips still.

“Want to feel you, n-need it alpha,” you whimpered into his ear, breaking his last resolve in an instant.

You whined as Joel started at a determined pace, digging himself deeper and deeper until your legs were shaking at the sharp bursts of stinging pleasure he was ripping from you. His hips never faltered as he stayed locked into the crook over your neck, muttering dirty words of encouragement that were driving you absolutely wild. Slick poured from your core, wetting his thighs as his balls forcefully slapped against your ass with a sticky thwap, thwap, thwap.

“How’s it feel having me so deep honey? Can feel how tight she’s getting just from my cock, you gonna cum already?,” he sneered, grinding himself up into you even harder to hear your high pitched squeal.

The way your pussy spasmed around him would have been embarrassing enough, but it was the lewd noises that he pulled from your core that were the icing on top. When you didn’t answer his words, he slapped your thigh to get your attention, ripping a garbled cry from you that made him smirk.

“Hmmm…I always try to play nice but she likes it when I’m mean, doesn’t she?”

You shook your head, “L-Like both, just want you. Always want you, so so bad.”

Joel’s devilish grin turned soft and he leaned forward to kiss your cheek, knocking his nose against yours. When he pulled away, you noticed how his eyes were bright and lively again, any thoughts of the past lost in the throes of pleasure. With your heart fluttering at his affection, you were a mess of love and lust when he started to pick up the pace. Drunk off of him, you couldn’t help but release all the wanton moans that you had been holding back for weeks and Joel followed suit.

“Oh shit, that’s it, that’s it, that’s fucking it baby. Whose pussy is this darling? Who takes care of her, makes her fucking cum, hm?” Joel grunted, his deep tenor echoing throughout the empty halls until you were sure anyone who happened to wander into the first floor would hear him.

“Y-you do, Joel, alpha, daddy, fuck! Pussy is yours, whenever you want - shit, she needs you, I-I need you,” you stammered, digging your nails into him harder.

Joel picked up the pace even more, slamming into you so fast and hard that all of the air was pushed from your lungs. You tried to gasp for oxygen but it was pointless, there was nothing to be done when Joel was bruising your cervix with his thick cock. His knot was already formed, teasing the tight hole that ached for him to be locked inside. Grinding down on it as well as you could with the way he had you pinned to the wall, you begged him to shove it inside. Joel pounded into your limp body, his moans sounding almost angry as he pummeled your poor pussy with all of his might. All you could do was grip his neck, locking your ankles around his lower back to keep from being fucked any further up the wall he had you pinned to.

“Oo-ooh honey, don’t know if you want me to do that here. Gonna be stuck on my cock for a while if I knot ya. Need to get some food into you and need t-”

You cut him off with a kiss, making an incredibly desperate noise as you tried and failed to get him to knot you. Joel was close to breaking, you could feel it in the way his thrusts got faster and harder with each heavy throb against your walls, but he just needed another push. When your fingers moved to his damp hair, pulling on the curls with enough pressure to make him whine, you knew he was almost done for, all he needed was the right motivation.

“Bet you want it too, know you wanna flood my cunt with your cum. Bet you want everyone in Jackson to know I’m yours, that it was J-Joel Miller who fucked me so good that I can’t even walk straight - fuck! - I want it, I fucking need it,” you said through pants.

His thrusts grew more erratic and you smiled at the way his eyes rolled into the back of his head at your words. However, any cockyness was lost when Joel opened them again, his jaw clenched in determination as he moved his thumb down the length of your body. When Joel reached your clit he pulled the hood back, exposing the hardened nub to the open air and rubbing harsh circles onto it. Intense bursts of pleasure radiated from your core and you snapped your head back so hard that your skull thumped against the tiles.

With Joel strumming at your clit, his chest hair rubbing against your raw nipples and his cock hitting the deepest part of your pussy with every thrust, there was nothing to do but hold on for dear life. Heat gathered between your legs and you shook at the intensity of it, slapping at his shoulders and clawing at his arms in an attempt to ground yourself. As the pleasure grew larger and larger with every thrust, so did the fear of it washing you away. You barely felt human, all you were was a vessel for pleasure that he could drill into whichever way he liked. You loved every second of it, but the force of the orgasm that barreled towards you was somewhat terrifying.

“S’okay baby girl, can feel ya trying to fight it. Christ honey, let it go. I’ve gotcha, let me have it,” Joel grunted.

And just like that you were gone, clenching down on him so hard that he was slamming into you even faster as it pushed him towards his own end. His brutal pace had you convulsing and shouting obscenities as he mercilessly drilled into you, ignoring the way that your nails drew blood as they scraped at his back. Slick poured from your core, your walls trying hard to beckon his knot inside. Joel growled and latched onto your neck with his teeth, biting at the delicate skin with his canines when he finally slammed it all the way inside.

“Yes, yes, yes, yes, thank you, thank yooou,” you cried, yanking on his curls as you felt a hot torrent of cum pour into you.

He whined at that, grinding up into you as he released over and over again. You weren’t much better, having become a dead weight that twitched and whimpered with each unbearably intense wave of euphoria that washed over you. Joel ground his hips into the cradle of yours until he couldn’t stand it anymore, until the both of you were way too oversensitive to do much else other than hold each other against the cold tiles.

“Fuckin’ hell sweetheart,” Joel panted, “That was…”

You hummed and knocked your forehead against his, “Perfect, as per usual.”

The wide grin Joel gave you was brighter than any ray of sun and you swore it was probably the only thing that stood a chance of mending all of the cracks in your heart. You loved him like this, all soft and gooey from the connection the two of you shared during sex. He covered your face in kisses, mumbling the most heartbreakingly sweet words against your skin as you caught your breath.

“Alright honey, let’s get you cleaned up and then I’ll figure out a way to get us to bed,” Joel laughed, looking down at where you were still connected at the waist.

Nodding to him groggily, you let him shift you around as needed as he scrubbed the remaining dirt from your skin and hair with a diligence that made you laugh. He was so entirely focused on you that he didn’t notice that you were watching him, studying how he examined every inch of your skin with rapt attention. When he tried to turn off the stream of steadily cooling water, you stopped him, sleepily mumbling half cocked threats at him until he let you return the favor.

Joel grumbled about it, but you knew it was just for show. The careful circles you rubbed into his scalp made him lose the tough guy act and he immediately had to press you into the wall to keep from dropping you. By the time you were done cleaning all of the caked dirt and blood off of him, he was practically asleep standing up and you had to shake his shoulders to get him to rouse from his place in the crook of your neck.

“C’mon baby, time for bed,” you murmured and he sighed, nodding as he fixed his grip on your thighs to carry you out of the shower.

After an awkward attempt at toweling off, with his knot still angrily inflated inside of you, Joel picked you up from the sink and brought you into the bedroom. He eased himself onto the bed, groaning at how easily his body sunk into the plush mattress. Joel moved you onto your side, cocooning you in his warmth as he pulled you into his embrace and you couldn’t help but snuggle into the blazing heat that radiated off of him.

“Rest sweet girl, we’re okay now,” he sighed and you hugged his arms tighter in response.

Sleep clawed at your eyelids and as much as you wanted to fight it, to stay awake so that you could plan out exactly how you were going to tell him about the uncertain future you were struggling to hide, it creeped up and dragged you into the abyss. But just before you fell asleep, you felt him press a kiss under your ear.

“It might not be home, but that’s okay. We’re safe and we have each other. That’s all I care about baby, just me and you for the rest of my days,” Joel sighed.

You wanted to answer him, to ask if there would ever be space in his heart for another person, one that might share his DNA, but sleep took over before you could. As you drifted in his arms, dreams about brown eyed babies and resentful mates haunted you, ensuring that you would remain unrested for another day.

- Joel -

A shrieking wail echoed throughout the house and Joel blearily stumbled towards it. The halls of his home were freezing and he gritted his teeth, trying to remember a time when Austin had been so cold this time of year. Abandoned children’s toys were scattered all throughout the hall, creating an impossible obstacle course for him to trip over in his barely conscious state.

“M’coming honey, just hold on,” Joel called, kicking a bunch of Polly Pockets out of the way so that he could skid to a stop in front of the familiar door that was painted with pink flowers.

Instead of finding what he had assumed would be there, which was Sarah wailing in her crib for a bottle, he was shocked to find a curly haired pre teen grinning down at a baby he didn’t know. Or at least, he didn’t think he knew them. He tried to place the baby but couldn’t, he wasn’t even sure the gender as they were swaddled tightly in a yellow blanket, with only the little sausage arms loose to reach up at his first born.

“So cute, don’t ya think so dad? Can’t believe you’re doing this again,” Sarah said, grinning at him with a knowing look on her face as she turned from the crib.

A snort came from the corner of the room and he spun around, gasping at the sight of Ellie in the old rocking chair his mom had passed down to him, the one he had rocked Sarah in every night as a baby. In the blink of an eye, the baby in the crib was suddenly in her arms and she smirked at him as she held the bundled up infant with the utmost care.

“I mean, it took him long enough. Both of us are gone and that’s when he decides that this is a good idea? Fucking incredible timing old man, waited until all the potential babysitters were five feet under,” Ellie joked, her voice filled with sarcasm.

“I-I don’t know what you’re talking about. What’s happening right now?,” Joel stuttered.

Sarah walked a few steps over to him, smiling despite the blood that started to stain her pink shirt. He gulped, a cold sweat breaking out all over his body as the red splotch grew bigger and bigger. She didn’t seem to notice the wounds that had killed her, the wounds he couldn’t save her from. Instead, Sarah stood in front of him smiling, with blood stained teeth and a pierced abdomen. The last thing Joel wanted to do was watch his first born bleed out all over the thick carpet he had lovingly chosen for her room, but it was preferable than looking over at Ellie. He wasn’t sure he could handle seeing the inside of her skull again.

“What’s wrong? Don’t you miss us?,” Sarah chided.

Her sweet voice was no consolation for the red bubbles that formed in her mouth and Joel felt his stomach lurch at the sight. Tears blurred his vision, so much so that he was startled when Sarah suddenly grabbed his face and pulled his chin down until he met her eye.

“Aw look at him, scared shitless,” Ellie snickered, cooing at the bundle that was in her arms when it started to fuss again.

Sarah chuckled, “Well, do you blame him? His track record so far isn’t great, two for two is pretty bad.”

Joel’s heart pounded in his chest, shaking his ribcage from the force of it as he bit at the inside of his mouth to keep the sobs from spilling from his lips. Usually in his dreams, Sarah just died as she had 24 years ago. Or sometimes, she traded places with Ellie and vice versa. Each death he had to endure was horrific but none were like this, where the bloodied ghost of his first daughter teamed up on him with his open skulled ghost of his second. And the baby? Well, he had no idea what that was about.

“I-I don’t understand. What’s going on?,” Joel spat out through wheezing breaths.

When Sarah’s open palm touched his chest it was cold, so cold that it made his skin crawl. The guilt was suffocating as he watched her try to comfort him, with her still uncaring of the way she bled steadily onto the floor. He chanced a glance at Ellie and choked on a sob, shaking when he saw what he already knew would be there.

“Cool it man, it’s nothing you haven’t seen before,” Ellie sighed.

Blood poured from the opening in her skull, drenching her face and the blanketed baby with it. Joel wanted to reach out, to take the child from her so that it could be saved from all the gore. He didn’t know why but he had the strong urge to protect the kid, to preserve its innocence in a way he could not do with his daughters.

“You’re going to have to let it go ya know. If you’re going to be there for her, then we can’t be the first thing on your mind. We don’t need you anymore, they do,” Ellie stated.

Joel blinked and turned back towards Sarah. She nodded in agreement, beaming up at him even though all of the color in her face had been drained out with her blood.

“She’s right, you gotta move on. We’ll still be around, but you can’t make your entire life about us anymore. It wouldn’t be fair,” Sarah confirmed.

He shook his head. As much as he tried to understand the point they were trying to make, nothing came to mind. Bewildered by their ominous words, Joel threw his arms up in the air in frustration. The fear and disgust he had felt was still there, except now overpowered by pure annoyance at their lack of clarity. When had either of his girls shown any interest in speaking in riddles? Is this what they had been doing all this time, plotting ways to fuck with him in his dreams?

“I don’t know what the hell either of you are talkin’ bout,” Joel groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose as his head began to pound.

Ellie laughed, “Oh boy, don’t you worry, you’ll figure it out soon enough. Reality is going to kick you in the fucking ass dude.”

Sarah snorted at Ellie’s howling laughter and he blinked, his eyes shifting back and forth between the two dead teens until his brain felt like it was going to explode. His stomach lurched, mouth watering as he tried to keep himself from puking all over Sarah’s room, and he mindlessly rubbed at it through his shirt. He tried to focus on the forgotten posters on the walls, the books on the bookshelf, the finer details of the carpet, anything to distract himself from the way his mouth filled with water.

“S’okay dad,” Sarah chuckled, “You’ll be fine, just try not to overthink it.”

Joel didn’t have time to answer her, the second that he opened his mouth to respond he was cut off by a wailing cry. As the baby screamed in Ellie’s arms, Sarah drifted over and began to coo at the bundle. More blood stained the yellow sheets and suddenly he felt like he couldn’t breathe. Joel tried to hold on to them, to keep himself inside the bizarre dream world so that he could beg them for the meaning behind their words, but he couldn’t. All he could do was swallow the bile that gathered in his esophagus as he was launched back into consciousness, the orange glow of the sunset burning his retinas as a cold sweat poured down his face.

He rubbed at his eyes until his vision was speckled with black dots, groaning from the ear splitting headache that formed at the base of his skull. When he had finally carried the two of you to bed a few hours earlier, he had never thought to close the curtains and Joel quickly found himself stumbling into the bathroom to puke away his startling dream. With the measly portions he had on the road completely out of his system, his retching was pointless, as nothing but sour bile came from his stomach.

Joel groaned and spat into the toilet, breathing in and out a few times to stop the wicked case of the spins he had. When his vision righted itself, he stood and padded over to the sink. After pilfering through a few drawers, he found a toothbrush and some chalky toothpaste and got to work scrubbing his mouth clean. The last thing he needed was you getting a whiff of vomit on his breath when you leaned in to give him a morning kiss.

When he was done improving his oral hygiene, Joel turned the faucet to the sink, splashing his face and neck with an icy blast of freezing water. His nerves had been rubbed raw over the past few weeks, making his entire body clench from the sting of the cold. When the slick sheen of sweat was washed from his upper half, he pulled his head out of the sink to examine himself. To his surprise, aside from the drops of water running down his face and the dark circles around his eyes, he looked absolutely fine. Given everything that Joel had experienced, he half expected for some of Sarah’s blood to be still smeared on his cheek.

“Fuckin’ hell,” he cussed, shaking himself out of it before the fucked up dream dragged him into the depths of despair.

All he wanted at that moment, or rather what he needed, was to fall back into bed with you. Joel knew that the only person that could pull him from the brink of destruction was you, every single time. It didn’t matter that you were likely still dead asleep, seeing you snuggled into the piled of soft sheets would be enough. Nevertheless, when he turned back into the bedroom to search for you amongst the cozy heap, he came up empty. Not only that, he found that your side was cold. Grimacing at your absence, Joel threw on a pair of boxers, turning on his heel to search for you.

The upstairs was empty, save for some pilfered through closets that you had apparently already torn through. Pieces of clothing, a few toiletries, towels, blankets, and a measly pile of expired cleaning products sat on the bed in one of the spare rooms. His brow furrowed as he crept through the halls, noting how each room had a little pile of treasures for him to find. How long had you been up searching through the past owner’s things? By the looks of it, for the majority of the afternoon.

Leaving the second floor, he took the creaky wooden staircase to the entryway, coming face to face with a version of you he had yet to become acquainted with; the frenzied homemaker. More blankets were arranged into piles on the coffee table and there was a stoked fire that blazed in the fireplace, covering the first floor in a cloak of comfort that barely reached the second. No wonder he had been so cold in his dream, the draft that seeped in through the poorly wrapped windows upstairs had chilled even Joel.

Every inch of the space had been wiped clean of any dust and all the throw pillows had been fluffed. Even the bulbs in some of the light fixtures had been changed and he balked at the new additions to the chandelier in the entryway, scratching the back of his head as he tried to figure out how the hell you had got up there.

The same thing was true for the piano room. The books had been rearranged and the veil of time had been swept away, leaving behind a tidy room that looked well loved but clean. The abandoned dishes in the dining room had also been taken away and the chairs had been tucked away neatly, making him halt in the doorway. He stood there silently, wondering like hell why you would do such a thing. There was no definitive timeline on how long the two of you would be staying here, but he had never once thought to tidy up.

Joel had never been one to lay down roots before he found the cabin that had served as his solitary confinement for four years. His apartment in the Boston QZ had been stocked with the essentials he needed, all of his things stored in such a way that he could leave at the drop of a hat. It had taken a lot for him to begin to build a home in the woods and with everything so spick and span, the place he was in looked like a real home. It looked like a place that an honest man could come home to every night, but he wasn’t sure he wanted that.

This wasn’t about Joel’s choice of mate, he’d go anywhere with you, it was about Jackson itself. It was the town he had abandoned twice, with both times being for wildly different reasons. Staying here was not something he had ever wanted to do and Joel had believed you felt the same. As his worries spiraled out of control, he tried to keep himself from overreacting. Afterall, there was nothing wrong with you making the place a little more comfortable. If anything, the house could serve as a sort of oasis for the both of you within the belly of the beast itself.

There was no telling how long it would take for Paul’s men to stop tracking you, and he had no idea whether or not Aspen’s crew were the type to take revenge but he didn’t want to find out. As much as he hated to admit, Joel wasn’t sure if the cabin would ever be a viable option again but that still didn’t change how he felt about the commune. Again, he’d go anywhere with you, just as long as it would be far away from the mess he had made while grieving.

A loud bang caught his attention, pulling him from his thoughts. Joel hurried towards the kitchen, the smell of sickly sweet cleaning products making his nose scrunch up as his long legs carried him towards the door.

When he walked through the yellow frame that was adorned with the heights of children ticked along the inside, he wasn’t sure what to expect. But the view he was confronted with certainly blew any thoughts he had out of the water. With a sponge in hand and a pail of sudsy water by your side, you angrily scrubbed at the tiles, treating them as though they had somehow offended you. He was at a loss for words at the sight. Sweat beaded at your hairline and rolled down your face, wetting the collar of his abandoned shirt.

Joel softened at the sight of you in his shirt. It was the same one he had on for days and was likely drenched in his sweat, along with other things, but you had decided to wear it anyway. His heart panged at the sight, knowing that you would only covet his scent like this if you were upset about something. The sponge plopped into the water, making some of it slosh over the side and dampen your bruised knees, and he watched as you pulled the fabric up to your nose to huff at it.

“Oh honey, couldn’t sleep?,” he asked, breaking you from the thoughts that were turning your eyes glossy.

You sighed at him and lifted yourself from the ground with an audible grunt, limbs so heavy from exhaustion that you swayed a bit with the effort. Joel darted forward and grabbed your hand, helping you gain a bit of stability before you face planted on the freshly scrubbed floor. He made an indignant noise when you pushed away, legs still shaky as you used the counter for support instead of him.

“I kept having dreams so I came down here, didn’t want to bother you with my tossing and turning,” you shrugged.

Joel scratched the back of his head. As if you could ever bother him.

“So you decided to go all Betty Crocker on me in the meantime?,” he joked.

“I didn’t like the place the way it was, it was too dusty and depressing. That’s all Joel, no need to get all up in arms about it. Besides, I didn’t really do THAT much,” you grumbled, picking at a scrape on your arm instead of looking at him.

Joel cocked his head at that and sarcastically whirled his head around the room, cocking an eyebrow at how every surface gleamed from your efforts. From the looks of it, every square inch of the place had been scoured. He was about to crack a joke, wanting nothing more than to soften the crease between your eyebrows that often came out when you were annoyed at him, but he resisted when he saw the way your hands were shaking.

He wasn’t sure what to say, Joel had never seen you aggravated enough to tear through the cabin like you were some sort of crazed housekeeper. From the second the two of you had solidified your bond, all of the chores started being completed together. That was the deal. And although Joel was known to maybe sneak in a few extra tasks when you weren’t looking, a habit he could never seem to grow out of, he had never cleaned for hours on end. The closest he had come to that was when his rut had driven him outside, where he would put up a ridiculous amount of fencing to ward off intruders until you came out and dragged him back in.

“Looks real nice in here baby, thank you,” he said, treading very carefully as he added, “Could’ve left some for me, I would’ve loved to help.”

You waved him off and Joel sucked his teeth, watching as you scurried back to the floor and picked up the sponge again. Looking around the sunset stained kitchen, he noticed how the floor gleamed in the orange glow of the dying day. Anyone who happened to stroll in the room would have been able to see that the floor was clean, but you didn’t.

Joel wasn’t sure what to do, but he knew that he needed to get you to stop cleaning, if only for a moment so that he could ask you if you were okay. He needed you to look at him for more than two seconds without darting back to your tasks, to pull you from this spiral before you passed out from the effort.

Carefully, as if he was approaching a spooked horse, Joel tiptoed over and dropped down so that he was on his knees alongside you. He waited patiently, biding his time until you reached into the bucket to wet the sponge to stop you. Pressing his thick fingers into the sides of your palm, he forced your hand to spring open so that you were forced to drop the sponge into the suds.

“Wha - Why?,” you stammered, having not noticed him crouch down beside you.

Joel turned your face towards him, cupping it and giving you the softest look he could muster given his growing alarm. You gazed back at him, the light sheen of sweat making you glimmer in the light of the kitchen, highlighting the heavy bags under your eyes. As you blinked at him in confusion, he smiled and pressed a soft kiss to your nose.

“Sweetheart, it’s clean. You’ve cleaned the whole house, it’s done,” he mumbled, brushing his thumb over the stray tear that fell from your eye.

The whimper you released at his hushed words plucked at his heart strings and Joel made a comforting noise in return. You leaned into him and he accepted your weight against his front, letting your scent blanket him in security despite the worry he felt. Which was funny, he was supposed to be the one comforting you, not the other way around.

Something was riling you up, making you nervous enough to nest like a maniac despite the obvious exhaustion that deepened all of your frown lines and sucked the spark out of your soul. Joel wondered briefly if it was your heat but ultimately decided against it. Surely, his own loins would be stirring to life if yours were calling out for him to fuck you.

He sighed, “Come on baby, let me fuss over ya a bit.”

To Joel’s surprise, you didn’t fight him when he pulled you from the floor. Instead, you threw your arms around his neck and wrapped your legs around his hips. He grunted at the effort to lift the both of you from the ground, but managed to right himself before he fell over. Your face burrowed into the crook of his neck, snuffling at the sweaty skin with all of your might.

He didn’t try to pry you from the gland that oozed his scent or overwhelm you with questions, instead Joel let you hang off of his body like a tree squirrel as he moved around the room. He sighed when you nibbled on the skin, pressing another kiss into your hair as he reheated the stew from the dining hall. As the smell of the beefy broth and hearty vegetables filled the air, your stomach growled with such ferocity that he felt your abdomen shudder against him and he tsked. Joel knew he should’ve made you eat before bed but he was too tired to see it through. He prayed that you were willing to finally eat something of substance, rather than just picking at a granola bar before you inevitably handed it off to him.

Joel had been going nuts from your newly acquired eating habits. The alpha in him was screaming at him to force you to eat, to protect you from yourself by cramming the food that he had provided into your mouth, but he couldn’t do that. Joel wasn’t that type of man to force a partner into anything and given the conversation the two of you had about family, the last thing you needed was him getting in your face about food. The scars your mother had left were blurred from time, but they were still there. He saw glimpses of them in the way you still shied away from his gaze on the days where you felt low and how you would sometimes get uncomfortable if he brushed his hands over your curves.

When the stew was finally done, he poured it into one gigantic bowl and plopped a spoon into it. Joel strolled out of the kitchen and into the living room, juggling you on his hip with the steaming bowl in his hands. He could’ve asked you to hold the soup, or ask you to get down to walk to the couch on your own, but he didn’t. Joel needed to dote on you just as badly as you needed to be doted upon. It was an easy back and forth, a cyclical relationship where the thing that one of you cried out for was always what the other needed to give.

Joel sat on the couch, sighing at the feeling of his ass sinking into the colorful blankets you had covered it with. The splash color that you forced into the room with the blankets looked slightly strange against the dark walls, but it made the corners of his mouth twitch in delight nonetheless. He knew how much you liked bright colors, recalling how much more homey his little cabin had gotten when you arrived, replacing all the practical throws with pinks, blues, and yellows to breathe life back into the place. And as he sat with you in his lap, Joel wanted to cry when he saw how you had brightened up this space for him.

With you straddling him and nosing at his jaw, Joel felt like he could fall into another deep sleep but he pinched himself awake. You whined when he pulled your head back, your high pitched pleas only stopping after he gave you a sharp look. Joel’s instincts were in full swing, ensuring that any protest from you would be shot down until the bowl of stew was gone and your belly was full. He refused to even dignify it with a response. He didn’t say anything, just quietly challenged your pleading look until you took the spoon from his hand.

“Share it with me?,” you asked sweetly and he smiled, nodding as he remembered how the both of you had used the sentiment a few times before.

The stew was good, with the carrots, potatoes, and onion melting in his mouth as he swallowed down his portion. The meat was drier than chicken or beef, with an earthy taste that resembled the more robust tasting deer, but it still filled his belly in a way that the rations and expired granola bars hadn’t been. And you seemed to like it too, humming around each bite he handed to you. He would watch as you swallowed it down, monitoring you for any sign of discomfort or refusal, and then you would grab the spoon to return the favor. It kept going like that, a full spoon going back and forth until the bowl was completely empty.

Joel groaned when he placed the bowl on the coffee table, feeling as though he was about to bust a stitch in his boxers from how full he was. He sat back against the plush cushions and smiled as you wiped at the corner of his mouth with your thumb, dislodging a stray fleck of food from his mustache with a giggle.

“Feeling better darling?,” Joel drawled, rubbing circles into your hips and thighs.

Humming at his ministrations, you nodded and kissed his cheek.

“Yeah, I am. I’ve been feeling so shitty that I didn’t even realize how hungry I was. I -,” you halted, swallowing with an audible gulp before you whispered, “I don’t know, I haven’t been feeling myself.”

Joel nodded, understanding where you were coming from. He hadn’t exactly been all sunshine and lollipops either, not that he ever was. For days he had been worried sick about you and although his worries were at times understandable, like when a cult was trying to fucking eat you, most of his worries had been due to him being terrified to lose you again. The worries had built up over time, exhausting him during the day and ensuring he wouldn’t rest the night after.

“Know whatcha mean honey, I haven’t been myself either. Been too worried about ya and I reckon you’ve been just as worried as me,” he drawled.

You nodded, looking down at your lap for a second before you chanced a glance back up at him. Joel tried to keep his face neutral, to not scare you off with how desperate he felt in that moment. He needed you to look at him, to tell him what was bothering you so that he could fix it once and for all. It didn’t matter the price of an answer, Joel would tear off of his own skin to ensure that he got it. He was just about to start begging for it when you looked up at him, stealing the breath from his lungs. Any scrap of your attention, no matter the type or duration, would never be enough for him.

“I… I want something,” you whispered.

Pinching his eyebrows together, he nodded. Whatever you needed, Joel would get it for you. If it made you happy, if it kept you from tearing through the house again like some deranged housecleaner, he would make it happen.

“Anything sweet girl, just ask me. I’ll give you anything ya want, I swear,” Joel urged you, anxiously pressing his hands a bit harder into your thighs.

“I - I want you to touch me again like… like you did before but this time I want you to do it um… softly please,” you mumbled, with your voice so quiet that his good ear strained to catch all of it.

Joel balked at that. Were you not having fun in the shower? He could’ve sworn that you had enjoyed it, or at least it seemed like your pussy had with the way it had clenched down on him so hard that it nearly hurt him. Doubts and self consciousness crept up from the more insecure part of him but Joel vehemently shoved it all down. If you hadn’t had fun then he needed to know exactly what he could do to fix it.

“M’sorry honey, I thought you liked it. If I’m ever doing something ya don’t like, don’t just take it. For Christ’s sake, tell me. Don’t let me go on flopping around on top of you like some sort of dipshit, I want it to be fun for BOTH of us,” he implored.

You smiled and shook your head, a flush crawling up your neck.

“N-No, I had a lot of fun Joel. That was perfect, I-I just…” you stalled, worrying your bottom lip between your teeth.

The catch in your voice caught his attention, dissolving any bit of self consciousness in an instant. Joel grabbed your jaw and pulled your chin down, releasing the battered flesh before you had a chance to chew through it again. He tsked at your whine, flashing his eyes at your pointless defiance as he brushed the sweaty strands from your face.

“Tell me,” he said.

A beat passed before you spoke up again.

“I know I might be annoying you right now Joel, but I just want to feel you close to me. When I woke up from my dream, you had rolled away and I don’t know… I just need you to be as close as possible. I-I - You know what? Forget it, sorry for asking,” you stammered, growing increasingly impatient with yourself with each syllable.

Joel gasped at the statement. He had never once thought you were annoying. Too ballsy for your own good? Sure. Stubborn as hell? You betcha. An absolute menace when you wanted to push his buttons? Oh, most definitely. But annoying? No, he would never say that about the woman that had given him everything that he never knew he needed.

“Oh hun, you’re not annoying me. You could never, I love you. If I’m dead asleep and you want me to hold ya, just wake my dumb ass up. It doesn’t matter how late it is, just wake me, even if ya gotta smack me. Please just… tell me you will next time,” he begged.

You sighed, twisting your hands together nervously before you agreed, “Okay Joel, I will.”

He smiled and grabbed your hands, kissing the backs of them sweetly until the corners of your mouth curved upwards.

“Now, how about we do something to make you feel more comfortable?,” Joel drawled, earning a slightly more chipper nod from you.

Which led Joel to where he was now, buried deep inside of your tight cunt with your walls clenching around him. His neck was warmed by your breath as you sucked on the mark under his ear, rendering him boneless from your ministrations. Joel’s hands were gripping your hips hard, holding you still against him as you soaked his lap with slick.

He had been at this for the past hour, enjoying the feel of your body enveloping him in every possible way. It was the sweetest form of torture, to be housed inside of you but unable to pummel your walls until you screamed. At first it had been you that was desperate, but as soft fingers rubbed circles into his scalp, he had to stop himself from rutting up into you.

“Joel,” you sighed, pulling away to look him in the eye.

Gazing at him with flushed cheeks and swollen lips, a bit of drool glimmering from the corner of your mouth, you looked absolutely cockdrunk. Joel was dazed, so lost in the unbearably tight, twitching grip that massaged his cock that he didn’t even realize you were talking until you had finished. You raised an eyebrow at him when he didn’t answer, rolling your eyes at how fucked out he probably seemed.

“Sorry honey, what was that?,” Joel drawled.

You laughed and he groaned as your walls clenched with every sharp intake of breath. Joel’s hips mindlessly ground up into the cradle of yours in response, making you gasp and narrow your eyes at him.

“I was saying how nice this feels, I’ve missed having you without having to worry about anything ruining it,” you replied.

Joel lazily smiled, his eyes twinkling and heart fluttering at the sentiment. He felt the same. For weeks he had been worried about anyone or anything barging in to ruin any bit of pleasure that he managed to squeeze out of you when the need became too much for him to ignore. The gift of the secluded home in Jackson was not lost on him. When Joel had arrived, he thought that the two of you would be forced to bunk with either your family or his, due to the simple fact that he didn’t plan on staying for long. But to be given a huge home with enough privacy to fuck you in every single room? Well, that was a godsend.

“Know whatcha mean darling, I’ve missed it too. Love having ya all to myself,” he cooed, ghosting his lips over your face before he landed a hard kiss on your mouth.

You hummed into the kiss, holding his stubbled cheeks in your hands and letting him devour your mouth. Joel groaned when you sucked on his bottom lip, nibbling on it so that all of the blood rushed to the surface and gave his mouth a rosy glow. With your pussy soaking his lap, growing warmer and tighter with each flick of your tongue against his, Joel was close to losing it. Luckily for him, it was you that broke this time.

“Joel, I want you,” you moaned, grinding down on him with circular motions that had the power to bring any man to his knees.

He hissed and stilled your hips, taking a moment to right himself when he felt his balls begin to tighten up. Your whimper made him sigh in frustration, the sound making his stomach clench, and he slapped your ass in return. When your walls tightened up at the feeling of his palm meeting your ass, Joel groaned in frustration. Slick poured from your core as the pain of his spank turned to pleasure, the desperate noises you made making him have to chew on the inside of his torn up cheek to keep himself from exploding.

“Yeah baby?,” Joel panted, “Well, you’ve got me already. Is there anything else you want?”

“Want you to hold me, to fuck me. Please, I can’t ignore it anymore, I need you so fucking bad that it huurts,” you keened.

That was all Joel needed to hear. In an instant, he was throwing your legs over his shoulders, rendering you absolutely useless as you wrapped your arms around his neck to keep from falling back against his thighs. His hands moved to grip your asscheeks, pulling them apart as he moved you up and down his cock. Every time you took him to the hilt, Joel made sure to ground you down against him in a way that hit every sensitive spot inside. The sounds that came from you were so loud and desperate that if it weren’t for the way your pussy was gushing around him, drenching the soft hair on the inside of his thighs and staining the couch, he would have thought you were in pain.

“Oh my god, fuuuuuuck, you’re so deep,” you whined, fingernails digging into the nape of his neck until they left crescent moons in his heated skin.

Joel grunted in response, sweat beading at his hairline as he continued to use you like his own personal fuck toy. When your knees started to shake over his shoulders, he hissed as a fresh wave of slick coated him. His deep strokes made your pussy squelch around him and Joel had to move his face to the side to suck bruises into the soft skin on your thighs, focusing solely on placing purple marks all over to keep himself from cumming.

He couldn’t even look at you, not with the way your head was thrown back in pleasure, your beautiful body on full display for his hungry eyes. Everything about you was sexy, from the hardened nipples that begged to be sucked by him, to the delicious curve of your neck he constantly wanted to bite at, to the fat that sat on your hips that he wanted nothing more than to worship with his kisses.

Joel’s cock begged for release, pulsing and throbbing with an increasing insistence, and he whined. At this point his balls were tightened up so much, so ready for release, that they were practically in his body. All of the muscles in his abdomen were clenched, itching to launch him into euphoria at any second as he desperately thought of anything he could to fend off his release.

Joel thought of the time Tommy stole all of his clothes while he showered at the community pool in Texas, forcing him to streak to the truck, only to realize that the asshole had also taken the keys from his bag when he got to it. He thought of all the stupid shit jokes Ellie had told him once upon a time. He thought of the mom that commandeered the PTA meetings at Sarah’s school who yelled at Joel for not making sure that the lemonade was sugar free. He thought of the time Tess had to dig a bullet out of his side without anything to numb the pain, anything to keep himself from knotting you.

“P-Please baby, shit! Fu-uck, need, need, I need,” you babbled, shaking in his hold.

Joel groaned at the way you yanked at his overgrown curls, causing sparks of pain to turn into the most delicious form of pleasure that almost broke his resolve. He growled as you continued to ramble, your words tainted with filth and unbridled lust. To silence your dangerous whines, he stuck his thumb into your mouth and pressed down on your tongue, making your eyes roll into the back of your head as you gagged on it.

“Here ya go sweetheart, I know what she needs. Always know what she likes, don’t I?,” Joel cooed, pulling his soaked digit from your mouth.

He pinched your clit between his thumb and forefinger, making you jump and squeal. The way your pussy tightened up even more made his cock jump and he quickly started rubbing vicious circles on the nub that made you convulse in his hold. Unfortunately for him, with the thumb removed from your mouth, there was no holding back the animalist groans and grunts that poured from your lips. Your words had been replaced with high pitched whines and desperate whimpers, all of which were answered by mind breaking strokes from him.

Joel wanted to capture all of your sounds, to keep them in a drawer for later so that he could rub himself raw at the sound of your desperation for him. If cell phones still existed, he was sure that your moans would make the perfect ringtone for him. Not that he would ever dare let anyone hear you like this, these sounds were for him and him alone. It was him, Joel Miller, that was fucking you this good. Nobody else would ever get the chance. His possessiveness over you was a primal sort of obsession and only added to the growing flames, making his gut burn from the tension.

“Joel, Joel, Joel, JOEL!,” you screamed, convulsing in his lap as you finally came around him.

The waves of your orgasm were so intense that you were practically launched into space, squirming and crying as he continued the filthy grind inside of you and the brutal circles on your clit. He grunted, his insides screaming for him to lock himself inside of you, to let you milk his cock, but he refrained. Joel wanted to work you through it, to squeeze every bit of pleasure from your sensitive core that he could. If you were fucked well enough, maybe then you would finally stay asleep. He was so focused on helping you ride out your orgasm that he didn’t even notice that you were about to fall off the edge again.

“Oh fuck, I can’t again. Please Joel, ohmyfuckingod yes, yes, yes!,” you shouted, eyes rolling backwards as he continued to fuck you through it.

Joel hissed as your pussy tightened again, the slick sounds increasing each time he brought you down hard against him. Blood trickled into his mouth as his teeth finally chewed through his cheek but he didn’t care, all he cared about was making you cum one last time before he locked himself inside of you for the night. This time he wouldn’t make the same mistake as before, this time he was going to keep you knotted until he was sure you would relax. Even if it took all night to fuck you into a vegetative state, Joel didn’t care, he would do it. You were going to have a full sleep tonight and he was going to make sure of it.

“Such a good girl, taking me so well darling. God baby, you’re so fucking sexy like this. You gonna cum for me? F-Fuck honey, cum for me, cum for me, cum for me,” he chanted, pressing his lips into the valley of your heaving breasts.

When Joel moved his face to the left, nosing at the underside of your breast for a moment before he bit down on your taut nipple and you shrieked. Crying out his name over and over again like it was a prayer, you sprayed him with your juices as your pussy clamped down on him so tightly that he couldn’t help how hard he slammed his knot all the way inside. You screamed at the force of it, releasing another torrent of slick into his lap. His vision blurred for a second but he resisted the urge to close his eyes, too enraptured with the way you arched against him so perfectly.

“Fuuuuuuuuck Joel, you feel s’good daddy, so fucking good,” you sobbed.

Tears rolled down your cheeks in fat globs, a flush breaking out on your face and chest as you cried so openly. Joel panted through his orgasm, exploding again and again at the sight of you so thoroughly fucked out. Each wave that crashed into you made you buck and scream, tearing at him with your nails and teeth as your pussy milked him of every single drop of cum he had. And he could do nothing but watch, completely enamored with the way you looked glimmering in sweat as you cried out for him.

When it was finally done, when the final dregs of his seed had been drained by your slick heat, he gathered you in his arms and laid back against the cushions. You were suctioned to his chest, too weak to fight as he forced you to lay against him.

“Joel,” you sniffed, still quivering with the aftershocks of your orgasm.

He hummed and moved his hand up to cup the back of your neck, pressing your face into his burly chest so that you snuggle against the blazing heat that emanated off of him. You whined but acquiesced, burrowing your face into him with a sigh. Joel felt your tears splatter over the wide expanse of his chest, allowing you to quietly cry it out as he lovingly brushed his hands over your back.

“Everything is gonna be just fine darling, I promise. We’re here, we’re alive, and we’re together. Nothing else matters right now,” Joel whispered.

A pregnant pause filled the room and he waited with baited breath for you to agree but no response came. Joel tsked at your silence and flipped the two of you over, making you gasp at the sudden movement that caused sharp bursts of overstimulating pleasure to radiate from your knotted pussy. He hissed at the feeling of another weak orgasm rushing through him, quietly apologizing for the abrupt switch before he hardened his gaze again.

“Alright princess, that’s enough. You’re gonna tell me what’s making ya pitch a fit over nothing and you’re gonna tell me now,” Joel commanded, even lowering his voice a few octaves to add to the effect.

You sighed, deflating a little under the scrutiny. He winced and pulled some of the heat from his gaze, unwilling to be the cause of whatever was ailing you. Brushing his hands over your hips, across the curve of your spine, and back down again, Joel bit his tongue while you warred with yourself over an answer suitable for his ears. He wished that you would stop doing that, censoring yourself on account of him, it was only making him more worried.

“I think I need to go to see the doctor here,” you said suddenly.

That certainty in your voice caught his attention. Panic rushed through Joel and he lifted himself up on his forearms, examining you with a hawk-like gaze for any sign of grievous injury. The bruising around your neck had softened, leaving only a few faint traces of green behind that would likely be healed within the next few days. Your ribs were still broken but the swelling was gone, along with the wilts that had been left behind by someone’s boots. And luckily your face, the face he held so dear to his heart, had been healed for the last week. Aside from a few nicks and scrapes, you looked relatively fine.

“Is everything alright? What hurts? Tell me and I can get you something for the pain. I mean, I might have to trade something for it but I’ll get it. Fuck it, I’ll beg Maria if I have to, just tell me and I’ll fix it,” Joel rushed out, barely pausing between words as he spiraled above you.

You groaned at his panicked state.

“Joel, stop freaking out. Look at me, I’m fine. I just uh…,” you trailed off.

He shook his head, “You just what?! Please honey, I need to know if you’re hurt.”

“Well, I thought that I should maybe see if they could um… Check my wrist? Yes! Yeah, I want them to look at my fucked up wrist,” you babbled, grasping for straws as you explained your reasoning for needing a trip to the clinic.

Joel nodded slowly, not quite believing your shaky explanation and nervous eyes, but unsure if he should push it. On one hand, your wrist had been dislocated and crunched under the grip of an attacker, leaving Joel to snap it back into place and wrap it in whatever shoddy gauze he could find. Since then, you had been ignoring the blackened marks and continuing to use it despite the discomfort he knew it caused you. Although he knew that you were right, you definitely needed to get it checked out by a medical professional, he couldn’t help but feel wary. You were lying to him, he felt it through the bond and could see it in your jump demeanor, he just couldn’t figure out why.

“Okay honey, we’ll get you to the clinic tomorrow morning. Best we get you checked out anyways, can’t have ya dyin’ on me,” he joked, deciding to drop it in lieu of starting an argument.

There was nothing more he’d rather do than force you to break, but Joel couldn’t do that. You were too beaten down, too tired, and too desperate for him to force you to talk about anything you didn’t want to. And plus, what did he really know about medicine, especially when it came to either the opposite sex or the opposite marker? Maybe it was something embarrassing that you needed from the clinic, something a female omega wouldn’t want to talk about with her mate? Joel hated the thought of you thinking he would care. Even if it was something other people would think was gross, he wouldn’t give a damn, he just wanted you to be healthy. Still, Joel also recognized that some boundaries needed to be respected in a partnership and so he dropped it.

When Joel accepted your bullshit excuse, no questions asked, you sighed and all of the tension left your body. He counted that as a win, smiling in relief as he dipped down to kiss you. Lips brushed together, tongues teasing one another as the fireplace crackled with heat that protected the two of you from the freezing winds outside. Legs wrapped around his back, trapping him and pulling him down so that his body was pressing you into the cushions.

“Mmphf baby, I’ll fall asleep on top of ya if you keep doing that,” Joel groaned, melting into you more and more as you played with his hair.

“Good, then you can’t roll away this time. Gonna keep you right here all night,” you mumbled.

He smiled and pecked your cheek, nuzzling his face into the side of yours as he draped himself over you even further.

“Okay, just kick me if you want me off,” Joel sighed, already halfway into a dream that was much sweeter than the one that had woke him.

You chuckled, “Will do, cowboy.”

And Joel was gone.

The incessant knocking had dripped into Joel’s dream, lifting him from the much needed rest he had been having with a ridiculous amount of persistence. He huffed in annoyance, grumbling to himself as he tried to blink away the morning sun that seeped in from cracks in the trees that shielded the inside of the house. You were none the wiser, bathed in light in such a way that you were glowing beneath him. Everything about you made him want to bare his teeth at whoever was at the door, to growl and spit until the unwanted guest finally left him and his mate alone, but Joel knew he couldn’t do that. He was on, as Maria put it, thin fucking ice, which meant he had to be on his best behaviour.

Joel eased himself off of you ever so carefully, pausing for a moment once he was peeled away to stare at your nude form in appreciation. Cum poured from your core when he finally pulled out, soaking your thighs and staining the blankets with a combined mix of slick and his own milky white seed. His cock twitched at the sight and another flurry of knocks landed against the old wood, tearing him from the fantasy of softly licking at your core, working you up slowly until you woke up cumming all over his face.

Forgoing the T-Shirt of his that you had been wearing last night, Joel threw on his boxers and covered you with one of the thicker knit blankets in case someone came barging in. If it was Tommy at the door, and he was pretty sure it was, he could probably convince him to stand outside with his appearance alone. There was no way his little brother, as annoying as he could be, would want a round two of what had happened at the ski lodge. And if it was Maria, well she seemed to go wherever the hell she wanted, but he was pretty sure she would allow you a moment to get decent at the very least.

“Alright, alright, m’coming Tommy. Don’t get your fucking panties in a twist,” Joel barked, unlatching the door and throwing it open before another knock could pull you from the sleep you desperately needed.

But instead of finding Tommy, Joel found a short woman with narrowed eyes who balked at his state of dress. He cussed under his breath, watching how her surprise morphed into rage as her gaze zeroed in on every scar that littered his body. The little puckered slits in Joel’s skin that marked where he had cheated death had covered his trunk for years, marking him as a threat to any omega who looked upon him. Any omega, until you came along and accepted him as is, but it seemed that your mother wasn’t quite as accepting of it.

She sucked her teeth at his appearance, looking like she was ready to attack him when she noticed the embarrassing slick stains on his boxers that undoubtedly came from you. Suddenly, Joel wanted nothing more but to slam the door in her face and march up the stairs, promptly throwing himself off of the balcony in the master bedroom to escape the shame she instilled in him. All he could think of was you in the other room, barely covered by a blanket and thoroughly fucked into a deep sleep by him. He hoped to God that you would wake up, scurrying off to get dressed before the terrifying woman in front of him could get past him.

“Ah, if it isn’t the product of my daughter’s excellent decision making skills. So good to see that you made it,” she said, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

Nodding dumbly at her obvious statement, Joel was at a loss for words. She already despised him, that he knew from their brief encounters in the arena and during his escape, but he also knew that his appearance certainly wasn’t doing him any favors. Joel blanched when she tried to scooch into the mud room, rambling dumb excuses to slow her down, but your mother was much too quick. As any reasonable omega would, she used his size to her advantage and zig zagged her way past him with ease, while his long limbs caused him to fumble.

Joel almost tripped over himself trying to chase after her into the house, stumbling into the entrance way in an effort to stop her from seeing her daughter splayed out on the couch. However when he finally caught up to her, he saw that you were wide awake and staring down at the kerfuffle from the steps.

You were wrapped in the blanket he had thrown over you, blinking away sleep as your mother skidded to a stop in front of the stairs. The multi-colored blanket dragged along the floor, doing a poor job of keeping your breasts completely covered and he suddenly had the urge to lunge forward to shield you from her scowl. Joel watched as your mother’s mouth opened and closed, her face growing redder by the second. You cocked your head at the brutal woman when she clicked her tongue at you, raising an eyebrow at her silent judgment.

“Mom?”

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