#it’s more humiliating than anything
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hypothetically… what would happen if you do chuck that book off the balcony. what is he gonna do? get the book again? just chuck that one too LMAO
he could
a) do the power play of using some nen or something to immediately bring it back before it even hits wherever it’s landing. he’ll look at you with a raised eyebrow and smug smile and just continue reading.
b) kiss you. the redness and irritation on your face really gets him going. knowing that he got to you, whether it be your anger or your interest, is what he strives for. sure, he was aiming to gain your favour with this whole book-scheme, but seeing you go hot-faced with that cute frown he loves so much is almost as rewarding. seeing you pant heavily after lobbing the book, as well as catching the fear of what he’ll do in your eyes, has him gravitating towards your lips, and a hand wrapping around your waist. he can forget the book, if you make up for it.
c) actually get a little mad. this is probably in the scenario where you’ve been with him for what he considers a while, and yet you still ignore or downright refuse his attempts to woo you. he’s been patient, and he can survive the idea of you never loving him, but he won’t take blatant disrespect, at least past a few petty jabs at his character. he won’t say anything for a bit, watching as the book falls, and immediately you start sweating. it’s when he turns around, expression blank, do you realise you have fucked up.
#i actually am unsure as to what chrollo would do to punish a darling#i can imagine him using some nen to keep their hands tied together for a while#so that he’ll have to be the one aiding them in anything they want#maybe some mostly empty threats into touching them sexually#it’s more humiliating than anything#tw yandere#yandere#tw.yandere#yandere hxh#yanderecore#yandere chrollo
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taskmaster is such a funny concept though they really said "okay we force five comedians do increasingly pointless, humiliating, and hilarious tasks, while the host bullies them all mercilessly. also the host's assistant is in a slightly concerning psychosexual dom/sub relationship with him, and gets off on the humiliation. and despite all of this it somehow feels wholesome and not Actually Mean. sometimes a swedish man is there"
#taskmaster#sometimes i say something on discord and then i go 'this isf unny enough to me that i shall post it upon hte blog'#no but really this shit is hilarious. the show i mean not me#and what i really appreciate is it balances the mean humor/humiliation with like. genuinely it never actually feels#distressing/or like. anything that isn't genuinely in good fun#like you never get the sense that its not a good time or that any of them are actually hurt in any way#more than like. you know. losing#you know what i mean?#taskmaster uk#grembospeak
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Do you have a reason in mind as to why they are the ones looping instead of Frin or will you figure that out as you go?
Siffrin wished for his friends to not leave him instead of wishing to stay with them. Same sentiment different wording.
#sif 'i don't want them to leave but i don't want to confront them either. nothing is worse and more humiliating than asking them to stay'#universe 'say no more sif! i will activate the torment nexus you won't have to do anything :)'#that's it#isat#siffrin? more like sif is out au
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revisiting the old hyperfixation that is Warren the Eagle 🙈💖 sometimes hyperfixations lie in wait for weeks, months, even years before they get you. but within seconds of hearing that pathetic, whiny little voice, i just fucking knew... i knew Don't Hug Me I'm Scared had gotten me again and i knew it would be this freak before he was even on the screen 💀
#wish i could communicate to you the sensation of mortification i felt when Warren physically showed up#and knowing with absolute certainty HE was going to be the character i was consumed by for the next few months 😭😭😭#making those posts on here like 'hahaha guys who do you think the next DHMIS Sexyman will be. wouldn't it be funny if it were Warren'#knowing full well i was already TOO far gone to anything about it and wanting to drag you all down with me 😂#i will not confess how many times i have committed social engineering in fandom re: embarrassing fixations to offset my own humiliation#but it's more than once and it WILL happen again 😖💖💖#either way shout out to Warren. one of my silliest cringiest and greasiest favourite guys. he needs to be asphyxiated#ssssssshut up i just think his voice is so...!!!!! 😳#warren the eagle#dhmis warren#don't hug me i'm scared#dhmis#starleskatalks
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i'm still so stuck in the implications of the Captain being ONLY a Captain at his age
like Captain is the second lowest officer rank, it does not take long to reach and he got through the WHOLE WAR without being promoted which is a feat unto itself
the two options for how he got to Captain in the first place are he worked his way up to it through the ranks or (more likely (based on his flashbacks and level of education)) he entered the military as an officer which would imply that for whatever reason he didn't fight in the first war and that, for the entirety of his military career he just... never got promoted
#bbc ghosts#bbc ghosts captain#six idiots#them there#idk man it gives me thoughts#he would have had to be on the home front for a loooooooong time to never get promoted#i know we can tell by his medals that he did fight in a couple places#but there's no possible way he was there for more than a couple of months#that's a man who was shipped out when the war office was pretty sure things were drawing to a close#and they just needed a few more bodies for that final push#but like 6 years...#he went 6 years as a captain...#not to be like weird about it but god... how humiliating#please disagree with me if i'm wrong anything to get me more info on this man#gearing up for the new season
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#the kinks definitely aren't too extreme or anything#it's like. dubcon/noncon/s&m/kidnapping bondage/humiliation kink/erotic-leaning nonconsensual body modification/etc.#and they're more there to further the work's broader exploration of dehumanization/bodily autonomy/the transitive nature of identity/etc.#y'know the usual#but I worry I may lose a significant following if it's at all attached to my gen work :')#especially bc my friends tell me often and eagerly that I am absolute dogshit at writing smut bc I care too much ab what the characters are#thinking and complete neglect more physical aspects of sex unless they're expressly psychologically impactful/reflect on character dynamic#I'm asexual so the parts of sex that interest me are typically related to explorations of personhood rather than face value pleasure#anyways all this to say I already wrote the fic but I'm a coward who's too afraid of backlash to publish it without screening first for#potential consequences so here you go :')#ik I'm lame it's a real issue 😔
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i need brownies so fucking bad rn
#unrelated croomf has pissed me off to immeasurable amounts. reduced back to oomf#overthat#anyway#DY piece tn i need it to go#and also this song is soooo minhui i threw up everywhere#decided for better or for worse that kit will be implemented here instead of in the group w kyun.. kyun works best on his own for me idk#he’s not gnna have a massive part (for now) and i dont plan on him leaving 127 to join BB or anything so he’ll def stay on the side#buttttt i did start up a little gogo piece through his eyes#i rly like the idea of never writing in gg’s pov does that jst make me sound rly lazy#BECAUSE!!!!! IM NOT!!! well i am but not w this hear me out#he puts on so many faces with everyone and even if with some he’s more ‘him’ than with others he’s never really actually#gone the whole way bared his soul the whole shebang to everyone bar like one person. so he’s kinda lonely AS EFF!!!#and idk i js like the idea of him being (when u get down it) a stranger. he doesnt even wanna show himself to the narrative IJBOLLL#sooooo yeah. it does kinda sound like a cop-out 4 if he acts like a different person in every piece but i think ive been p consistent so#that one person was in dream btw.. he left partly because he was bored and felt like he’d end up going nowhere and#partly because he was HUMILIATED by doing all that he needed to pack his bags and get the fuck out its kinda funny#mention ** to him and he’ll look like that pic of that one 2000 yard stare soldier its serious#worse than saying ‘hyeonmin and jaehee are in the same room rn haha’ to yijun.. but barely anyone will ever find that out#ANYWAY! i like to think kit + cherryade are the closest to seeing minhui as he is right after redacted explosions gunshots#‘im on fire and i’ve got to break out’ + ‘i've had enough of this got to break it through’ LIKE ITS HIMMM!#and dont even mention the ‘got to leave all trouble living life on the double’ I HATE THIS OSNGGGG#They made it for him. IDGAF if it came out in 2001.#ok sorry for yapping i might go make toast#Spotify
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just blasted the group chat with my pronoun PSA. gonna throw up and die now.
#is there anything more humiliating than asking a bunch of normies to call you they/them.#i even gave them the he/him option just to drive home that she/her is the last resort#jfc. the mortifying ordeal of being known.#izzy.txt
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it’s like. i love being trans. and also if there was a loving god he wouldn’t do this to me
#usually my mental illness is emotional Nothingness. when i take wellbutrin i can feel again!#and when the wellbutrin loses efficacy i keep the feeling but lose the good ones so i just unlock Regular Depression. which fucking Sucks#and a couple weeks ago i ran out of t gel and it is a controlled substance so they wouldn’t give me my refill until the full 60 days were up#which meant i had to be off t for like a week. and i was so so hopeful that it wouldn’t do anything to me.#but it restarted my cycle so i’m bleeding rn. and it is so fucking awful#it Hurts and it feels Humiliating and Wrong#cramps and stomach issues And dysphoria and bleeding. nothing more evil to do to me right now#and it’s worse cause i was done with that. i literally GOT RID OF IT. I PUT THE WORK IN. I WAS FREE.#but i couldn’t have my medicine and now i no longer control my own body. horrifying. so horrifying#wore a kind of ill fitting binder today too and it kickstarted Other dysphoria on the drive home so. messed up rn.#i just want to be able to live my life man. i want to have a body that looks and functions like me#and can feel things and do things#and doesn’t subject me to hurt in multiple multiple ways. that would be really cool.#genuinely it does not fucking matter if god loves me. cause if this is what i go through when he loves me#then i don’t want his fucking love.#i hope god kills himself actually#i want to wake up and just be able to put a shirt on and leave the house. can you imagine a fucking world#gonna try nd sleep for like five minutes and then go to dinner with my mom. i can be okay. i can be stronger than my struggles#i just need to be really fucking angry with god.#great time to be reading paradise lost#valentine notes
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In my interpretation of Jane's lore, Loretta Lawrence is in fact her mother despite her infamous statement otherwise. Her base story kind of leaves it up to interpretation with the final line of her father and mother both attending her funeral ( whether that be Loretta or an unnamed woman ) , so my personal take is that Loretta held a lot of resentment for the stain on her image that Jane's open discussion of her absence left, and intended on denying it publicly as a way to save face and also squash Jane's credibility - turning the narrative of her from an absent and career-obsessed mother to an innocent victim of lying by an obsessed stranger trying to use her name for clout. While it worked for a few moments, the almost immediate missing status and assumed death of Jane led to Loretta's image being ruined even more. Especially when in the ongoing investigation, it became public knowledge that she was in fact Jane's mother from birth records and the statement of her father. cw discussion of suicide ( not actually happening )
Post-being taken, Jane's story is somewhat of a mystery, the kind of thing discussed by true crime creators talking about the "strangest unsolved cases" and such. From the public's perspective, she was humiliated on live television by someone she'd consistently claimed was her mother denouncing that fact, and that night she disappeared. Her car ( but not her body ) was found some time later, at the bottom of a lake.
The obvious conclusion was that either it was an accident or she'd taken her own life, but the lack of a body sent conspiracy theorists into a frenzy. Did Loretta have something to do with it? Was it an inside job? Was it murder, not an accident or suicide? What happened to Jane Romero? While it was mostly contained to niche communities of people who liked to discuss this, Jane's status as a household name allowed it to spread further, damaging Loretta's reputation more than she could have imagined.
#ooc.#musing.#loretta in my personal interpretation is.... not a good person#not in the sense that she left jane with her father to focus on her career#but in the sense that when said daughter grew up following in her footsteps and being very honest about the effect that loretta's choice ha#she was unable to take responsibility because it would compromise her hollywood star image and instead sought to humiliate her daughter#ON HER OWN SHOW#like there is no reason she couldn't have resolved it privately the first time it was brought up#this was an attempt at revenge for jane's perceived slander of her.#without turning this named character into basically an oc i have a lot of Thoughts on her#she's not completely evil or anything!!! i think many events happened in her life to make her believe acting this way was the best course -#- of action BUT she's also petty. vindictive. and more concerned with her own reputation than the harm she has caused
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talking 2 my mom n crying realizing just how little she realizes or chooses to acknowledge how badly my upbringing fucked me up how being isolated and deprived of basic care has built Me.................like. i . im not allowed to be cared for. im not allowed even as an adult when suddenly she expects me to be able to do everything including go to the doctor n the dentist and do everything flawlessly when i have never had a chance to learn or be anything but terrified. i cant go to the dentist no matter how bad the pain gets or how disgusted i am of myself like i have been since i was a literal child because I'm Not Allowed. i cant just take that and switch it the other way suddenly because im an adult i dont know hwo to train myself out of it. all ive ever known is just Wait. wait it out it doesnt matter how much pain im in it doesnt matter what im going through just Shut Up and Wait.
#i want to be a real person more than anything thats all i have ever wanted.#but i dont know how#and she acts like its so easy#and she just gets mad at me for how useless i am#and it makes it harder#i cant do anything with her watching me#i cant be myself#if i even exist#the judgement is too much. the constantly expecting a punishment for every single thing i do#i was never allowed to talk to anyone but suddenly im expected to to and be fucking level 10 charisma#no fear#just an instant expert#i am so alone n i am scared#i dont know how to do anything#and i am humiliated#every second i feel nothing but agonizing shame#even when im alone#im never free of any of it i can never be ok#because i dont fit anywhere in the world
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Will go to a do a haircut in some hours and I have the amount of worry about how I'm gonna ask for a buzzcut and how mean people are gonna be about it at a level that shouldn't exist for a woman in 2024 imo
#Sigh#//rambles#I assume a barber is more specialized in that sort of thing but I think I'm in better luck begging a general hairstyle woman to#buzz my hair short than to beg a barber to please let me in#I've seen a trans dude looking for barbershops that would let him in and he lived in either moscow or spb#It's so over for me on that front lmao#Ik she won't shut up about suggesting other options for me and it's so hard not to give in under pressure#I would just buy the thang myself and shave it off but I don't wanna invest in something if buzzing my hair won't feel right for me#I really hope I'll love it and then rid myself of the humiliation of doing haircuts for at least a few years#Seeing people's reactions to short hair is bad cause it's like I'm betraying my femininity (which it sometimes feels like I owe to everyone#But having long hair at this point is so much worse than anything related to societal problems of short hair#Disclaimer by people being mean I really only mean ppl being annoying and maybe looking funny sometimes#My homeland has a long way to go with feminism but until people like me are routinely stoned to death a certain old man will have#to be elected at least like 3-4 more times#The rambling really does help the anxiety tbf
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Intrusive thoughts are all serious and not to be trivialized until the intrusive thought is. Honest to god. Bakugou Voice.
#i hate it here this is worse and more humiliating than the time i audio hallucinated red son#add onto this the thought surveillance paranoia. i need to kms right now actually i am full body cringing#its not even anything in particular i just keep hearing yagami yato ass voice clips SOMEBODY SEDATE ME
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when aot was just abt to end, there were leaks ofc as there always are lol abt eren not really achieving any of his plans. and so much of the aot fandom, who have never lived through war, were genuinely upset over this. eren literally commits global genocide, he and his plan doesn’t deserve to achieve anything. especially not anything that would benefit him.
eren wasn’t one of my favorites until season 4 because of how utterly fucked up he is. he was a tragic MC who started off as a hero and as the story progressed, became a monster. even though we know what leads to his corruption, genocide is still wrong actually and having a characters worst fear come to life due to their own actions is the sort of tragic irony isayama loves. we’ve already seen isayama do this with reiner, zeke and grisha. it’s satisfying yet devastating at the same time how harsh the story is on them.
and the story should’ve been a lot more harsher to eren instead of the positive reaffirmation he got in 139 and from most of the fandom. eren claims the rumbling was for paradis, like thst shit didn’t kill off most of paradis’ population, and than he claims that it was for his friends (like pieck, who he has never even had a conversation with) but than he admits it was for himself - and it wasn’t satisfying at all because isayama wanted us to feel bad for eren and it worked. never mind the fact that eren killed his own mom, that he manipulated his own father for taking the FT for his own gain, that he annihilated 80% of the world - he did it for his friends 😊 so it’s okay! friendship >>>> genocide 😝
aot taking a very strong stance against eren’s actions and plan, denouncing them as wrong (bc they are) and showing them that nothing good comes out of them is wayyyyyy better the woobification and the mini redemption arc we got from him in the last chapter.
this is why i hate it when aot fans talk abt aot like it’s the greatest anti-war anime ever made. i think majority of aot fans are westerners or come from developed countries. it’s easier to understand war when ur watching cartoons of it instead of actually living through it. a huge part of the fandom justifies eren’s genocide, even with characters explicitly condemning him. do you really think it’s clear with its anti-war message when all we got was a few sad faces and a huge thank you from the main cast? one of the main themes in aot is the moral grayness of the world. the warriors did what they did because they were child soldiers trying to protect their families, EMA would’ve done the same. the scouts raided liberio (and were heavily against it). and masses of innocent people died in the name of other groups interests. there were literally no winners in this at all.
but why have characters that should’ve narratively and thematically been against eren suddenly forgive and praise him?
why break all the characterization, break all those different point of views, for the warriors specifically, if not for the final woobification of eren?
eren could’ve had one of the most extraordinary corruption arcs in all of anime just for that to be ruined and i will forever be mad abt it
#ending defenders dni#we are not gonna argue abt this if you see this just look away 😭#if you haven’t actually lived through war#if you haven’t actually had to see people dying due to war#if you haven’t had to go through the humiliation of being a refugee#than you have no reason to defend this atrocious piece of anti war media#anti-war media made by those from countries of imperial power are always really bad#idk i just hate when westerners talk abt war#over the past few weeks#my homeland has been routinely bombed and attacked#and while i try to ignore this deep seated feeling of anguish inside of me#i go onto tumblr#and i see bitches woobifying a fictional white man for the genocide he commits#and seeing pple praise aot as an anti-war piece of media is what prompted this post#being a refugee in this country is so funny lol#also my homeland is one of the countries that has the most child soldiers in the world#which is why i think i relate more to the warriors than anything#aot could’ve been so great if it was written by me#attack on titan critical#attack on titan meta#eren jaeger critical#eren critical#eren jeager meta#eren x reader#eren jeager x reader#aot spoilers#aot isn’t a good anti-war analysis because isayama isn’t a devoted anti imperialist#if ur naming characters after nazis and imperial japanese war ships#i don’t expect u to even be anti-war i expect u to be a bigot#i can’t believe people just swept isayama’s worrying obsession with ww2 under the ruh
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today has been weird like not even Bad other than the weather i wast just generally in an unpleasant mood but then i also got three grades back and all of them were good so silver linings i guess? but i was generally doing things i should not do such as moping and dwelling
#trying to avoid thinking abt my whole deal with that guy bc like#i'm more humiliated than anything else lol like i wish i hadn't put myself out there#we're friends-ish now and it's fun he's cool. and that probably wouldn't have happened if i hadn't approached him but like#i still feel weird abt everything which sucks. so anyway i have been trying to keep my mind off it#bc i do not want to be weird abt it#and i have been mostly successful other than today when i was generally in a gloomy mood#soapbox
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pms brain right before midnight when i got work tomorrow: what if we thought abt the time when u were 12 and ur dad got distracted w work and completely missed your band concert only to show up after it was all done. we should ruminate on this for hours
#like what am i supposed to do with this. it’s been ELEVEN YEARS.#yeah it’s a visceral memory it made me feel deeply deeply unloved and humiliated and it STILL DOES#and like i understand . what happened . and he did his absolute best to make it up to me and it never happened again#so like. what am i supposed to do. i’m not gonna fucking text him like hey remember when u completely shattered pre-teen me lol#WHICH IS WHAT PMS BRAIN WANTS. like all that’s gonna do is HURT HIM.#and it’s not gonna fix anything for me. like why would i do that.#anyways. one of those memories u can point to and go yeah lmfao that’s certainly a Key One.#love my dad more than just abt anyone in the world. which is why i am NOT going to ruin his sunday night#by reminding him of this. even tho i think it’s going to haunt me forever.#anybody got any quick tips for getting over this w/o hurting my dad lmfao. like do i have to rip this one open btwn us#or will it eventually stop randomly cropping up. please tell me it eventually stops randomly cropping up#if ur ever like wow eve is really weird abt like. people she loves/respecfs/looks up to + their attention. well boys.#have i got a root fucking cause for you!#can i just . turn into a fucking clam already. can the hospital network call me fucking back.
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