#it was so good but I just sobbed
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“I just can’t do it anymore, I’m so tired…”
“Please don’t leave…”
“Don’t leave…”
#watching the In Dreams episode of Steven Universe Future knocked the breath out of me#it was so good but I just sobbed#burnout#whump#whumpee#caretaker#whump prompts#whump prompt#whump scenario#whump memes#whump writing#pet whump#whump community#whump tropes
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what if she abstracts because of caine
#aw man shes all goopy#showtime so good when its just this#the amazing digital circus#tadc pomni#tadc caine#can i still tag this as a ship#yea#caine x pomni#tadc showtime#anyway if pomni abstracts in the show#im going to sob#even if she comes back#i love pomni sm i dont want anything bad to happen to her WAILS#(i say as i draw her abstracting anyway)
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while we wait.
may i offer you all a pubby?? lil bby barns?
#i would like to Squeeze Him Full Strength#look at him!!! so proud that he tracked mud everywhere!!! what a good boy!!!!#listen listen. im a cat person. but barnaby.....#in my mind ms beagle is trying to be stern but hes just So Darn Cute#we are ms beagle pov#scribble garnish#welcome home#barnaby b beagle#welcome home puppet show#no okay but real talk the potential of barnaby's backstory has me close to tears#like hes just a little orphaned puppy... he was ORPHANED#WHAT A FUCKING DETAIL TO INCLUDE LIKE???? OWIE????#did she find him in a waterlogged cardboard box in the rain... just a lil puppy abandoned by the roadside....#OHHHHHH IM GONNA TEAR UP IF I KEEP THINKING ABOUT IT#who would abandon such a sweet boy....#listen im weak to animals#but im Especially weak to innocent lil bby animals who are abandoned/orphaned...#like theyre just little guys who deserve all the love in the world... pure and full of love... discarded....#WAILING AND SOBBING AND EATING YARN LIKE SPAGHETTI
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DEAD POETS SOCIETY (1989) dir. Peter Weir
#neilperryedit#dpsedit#deadpoetssocietyedit#neil perry#dps#dead poets society#tuserkaren#mialook#useraish#dailyflicks#neil perry makes me sob every goddamn time#especially when he says i'm trapped with this laugh but then it fades and his smile drops and your heart just breaks#bc look how excited he was to act in the beginning#he's got a dream and he's so determined to go after it#but the reality of the situation is he's trapped#and then at the end with his i was good i was really good#bc he was ! he puts his whole heart out there#and his father just stomped on it because he doesn't see neil for who he really is and forces him to conform to whatever he wants for neil#and just ahhhhh#i don't know even know how to it put into words#it's the transition from future to present to past#*mine#*mygifs
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going through my old journals as part of therapy homework and i'm reading a section written in the emotional wreckage of a full-on breakdown when i get hit with this line:
There is never a satisfying answer to ‘Why didn’t they love me?’
like wow babe. good fucking point
#like you were on the ground biting the carpet and dry sobbing while you wrote that and still. good fucking point#not a shitpost#cptsd#and it's true. there's never a satisfying answer#the truth is i know why i wasn't loved#i analyzed my parent's traumas and abuse to death. i understand why i alienated and was alienated from my siblings#i know why my mom was too overwhelmed to be capable of nurturing#i know why my dad vanished into addiction and avoidance#the details of our cycles of trauma and cptsd and family history i have a phd in all of it#i understood perfectly. i spent years studying and now i knew the answer#and guess what? IT WAS NOT SATISFYING!!!#because they still didn't love me! and i still couldn't change that!#it was still a completely unsatisfying state of affairs!#so like. when the people who are supposed to love you...don't.#when the people who are supposed to take care of you...fail to#you can look for answers and reasons and explanations#but that's not actually going to FIX your situation.#and it's probably not within your ability TO fix the situation. (and definitely not your job)#because you don't need answers--you need a new situation#*inserts Just Walk Out. You Can Leave!!! (Running Skeleton) Meme*#and yes. walking out isn't always possible.#but for you i hope it will be one day soon. and i hope you build the courage to take that leap.#stepping away from the people who failed to love you...it feels like being untethered but also like being lighter than air#new and scary. immensely relieving. the future opens up. empty but empty like a canvas. blindingly bright until your eyes adjust#like climbing out of a pit you called home and for the first time realizing how bright the light of day can truly be#when you aren't just getting glimpses from the bottom of a hole
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#I might be a sloop shipper but that does not mean I wish them any good#unrelated but#I just got to my first round against king#right before the fight#when they are having snack time#Sif’s sprite thé he sees Malanga fritters????#THOSE ARE SO CUTE????#HELLO?????#he’s so cute I’m sobbing#okay I’m done rambling m#my art#in stars and time#isat#isat siffrin#isat isabeau#isat loop#isat isafrin#isat sifloop#yes I’m this tagging sifloop#leave me be
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can we talk about how much queer and trans joy was this season? maggie and nina. they/them muriel, saraquel, beelzebub, even GOD. "you're a good lad" "im not actually, either". that one shopkeeper and his non binary spouse, played by a non binary actor. beelzebub and gabriel. shax, nina and maggie all thinking azi and crowley were together. also yes i'm gonna mention: crowley and aziraphale's kiss. it's just, i get that everyone's hurt and so am i but can we please focus on how beautiful this season was to us? we got so much and i'm so happy, despite the ending.
#i love queer people i love queer joy i love this show i love us sm#also crowley deliberately avoiding using 'mr' in the 1827 flashback cause she was SO CLEARLY presenting fem#this season was literally just queer people doing crazy shit for each other and im actually emotional over how accepted everyone was#in the show and how fucking easy it is to have queer and trans characters on screen and just let them be. im gonna ugly sob#good omens#good omens s2#azicrow#good omens season 2#good omens s2 spoilers#go s2 spoilers#go spoilers#go s2#ineffable bureaucracy#ineffable spouses#i just realized god is actually they/she but that's cool af too#AND ELSBETH AND WEE MORAG TOO WOOOHOO GO SAPPHICS
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#stardew valley#stardew valley shane#sdv shane#HELP#okay hear me gush#I hated this man so much on my first playthrough and literally avoided him at all cost cuz he was so rude -sob-#that was way back in 2020#and then insert me playing sdv 2023 and#👀#straight up evaporating#i relate to this man surprisingly and#chef kiss#also im practicing drawing my backgrounds and lighting so this was a good excuse to study coloring!#gonna draw some other stuff when i can just to practice
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"this is regrettably the best kiss of your life, you understand?"
#that “you understand?” kills me everytime...#i love how high condis voice got during this bit its so fkn funny DHASHGFSFGHASFhg#hi yes have the inevitable ep21 crit kiss piece except i watched ep53 today and am so 😀 im so 😀 damn i m so 😀#i love eps where they just go through so many different gimmick rooms its so fun its so fun when its not so painful 😀#happy valentines too ig#just roll with it#jrwi riptide#gillion tidestrider#jrwi chip#jay ferin#jrwi fish and chips#my art#i had a bit of a meltdown over gill through uhm... 1-3am today and i just hm#sorry to everyone in the mayors QAC uhm im not really sorry but like sorry if you could hear every msg ping uhm yeah#it was like hours of me sobbing to myself in the interests channel and it was really good for my mental health ngl like its really therapeu#-tic to just scream abt a blorbo all night#and i ended up dreaming abt infodumping to one of my brothers friends of all ppl n i got so intense abt how much i love marshall john n my#brother came into the room and dragged his friend out 😭😭😭 i just wanted to ramble abt the himbo pls.....#my walls of tags are so consistent... only consistent thing abt this fkn blog smh.
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I am feeling extremely unwell this is sickening dammit…
#boku no hero academia#my hero academia#bnha#mha#dabi#touya todoroki#bnha dabi#mha dabi#this is so not good… i don’t feel well at all…#he just wanted a family that was there for him… that’s the only thing he wanted…#i’ve started sobbing again because this seriously is too much ohmygod… waaaaay too much…#horikoshi… dabi and all the members of the league deserved their happy endings too…#you’re so sick for making them the victims AND giving to them an unhappy ending too… i can’t do this anymore…
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aci art dump
#shizaya#shizuo x izaya#izaya orihara#shizuo heiwajima#durarara!!#a cheap imitation#ACI#a cheap imitation comic#i kept posting those on my priv and finding them not good enough for main but it's been a while and i love them again so: for u <3#hi i'm not dead i've just been very overwhelmed with life#i'm still working on the comic it's just very slow :sob:
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For the epic bird who managed to revive a fandom @randomalistic (<- SUCH A PASSIONATE AND KIND PERSON BTW YOU SHOULD TOTALLY GO WATCH THEIR VIDEO IF YOU HAVEN'T ALREADY! GO GO GO THIS IS AN ORDER!!!)
bonus doodles teehee, got attached to the idea of a little bird and its oxpecker-like relationship with the world's largest parasite :]c
#art#wreck it ralph#king candy#this guy has like 3 different names how do I tag this specific form?#ah whatever it's the bug#There's so much packed in that analysis I can't even put into proper words how good it is JUST GO WATCH IT!#ITS SO LOVINGLY MADE AND THEY GO IN DETAIL ABOUT THE ARTISTS AND THE BASTARD HIMSELF AND THE part where it talks about Vinny...#(GRITTING MY TEETH AND SOBBING) GOOD SHIT!!!#godspeed you silly bird <3
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY @crystalmagpie447 !! tosses fistful of confetti and skitters away
#fnaf daycare attendant#fnaf#fnaf dca#dca fandom#fnaf sb#sundrop#moondrop#dca#pingdoobles#winged dca au#winged au#i vaguely remember you mentioning your bday being on the first in tags?#and also cause i saw your recent asks#IM NOT GREAT AT WINGS OR FEATHERS AT ALL BUT I ADORE YOUR WINGED DCA AU SO MUCH?? I LOVE THEM SO BADLY!! AND UR ARTSTYLE RAAGGHGH#this was done quickly but one day i wanna do the detail you put into their designs some real justice I SWEAR just today isn't that day :sob#this was good practice!! yep#it's already 2am for me into the first day of august im sleeping gn 👍👍
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I don’t like minimizing the importance and gravity of Laios and Toshiro’s fight into just being a childish squabble, even if to a degree it is framed that way, because to both of them it has a lot of personal significance and emotional weight and runs very deep to their characters… The fight isn’t nothing it’s a LOT, they made up but it’s not something easy to express and to get over for either of them which makes it all the more meaningful! I’m on both sides but there very much are sides, there’s no "they’re both having a ball, Toshiro and Laios hand in hand yay" side to the fight, that comes after
The fight with Toshiro WAS very scary to Laios, almost existentially so, but it’s moreso the "I thought I’d made a friend!!" bit and my god. My god actually
Like it’s not "just" about oh his friend liking him less than he thought, THAT IS SO MUCH. It’s a bond he thought he had being a lie it’s all the time and moments spent together either being a lie from his perspective or marred now looking back. It’s not only being upset at Toshiro for lying but upset at himself that he’s so easy to fool, it’s being upset that there’s something so wrong with you that you can’t even tell if your "close buddy" even actually likes you or not, it’s like. Holding my head. He can’t trust his own vision of events that happened do you see. There’s always this film of distrust that it could be a lie that should be there when he interacts with people there’s always this sense of cloak and dagger to expect backstabs out of nowhere because you CAN’T see it coming you CAN’T you CAN’T there’s something about you which makes it impossible so you CAN’T-
He’s so scared of not being able to read people. He knows it’s a weak spot he has, he’s always known. All of these bits are centered around social expectations and betrayals, the assumption that he doesn’t belong either in society or with other humans.
And Laios’ level of awareness is actually sort of complex to analyze, but it’s there, there’s how out of him and Falin he was the one sensitive to the ~aura of hatred~ he felt from the townspeople, there’s of course his nightmares whispering to him about the mocking looks, and how yeah actually he realizes that his gold stripper coworker was taking advantage of him. There’s of course the Winged Lion speech about his trauma and how he fundamentally mistrusts/dislikes humans to some deep seated degree, this distrust that he still keeps under control always. There’s how pre-canon he often wanted to suggest eating monsters but never worked up the courage to bring it up with the others. There’s how he gets across as stoic when he isn’t being enthusiastic…… We don’t know how aware and wary he is exactly in the moment but we do know he has some anxiety around social stuff, and looking back he does notice and aughh augh, the sense you have to hide yourself to not get hurt and be on your guard and shit and.
When you don’t know what to look out for and when to look out for it, the general ‘common sense’ of not always trusting people or noticing when someone’s messing with you becomes hypervigilance in social settings
"Man they really know what you hate huh". Being socially unaware literally plagues him, he knows, he knows it so well.
It’s so quick that it’s almost hard to digest how literal and blatant Laios summoning his monster to crush all the people who’ve hurt him is. His literal go-to coping mechanism for comfort in his literal monster-induced emotionally intense nightmares, saving him by taking away the upsetting element (the humans)
"Monsters are his coping fantasy, where they can whisk him away from humanity, all the hurt it’s caused him and its arbitrary rules" with the subtlety of a brick. Monsters are his comfort safe zone "because they kill humans" yes but no it’s because he pits them as the guardians against humans who to him are in the role of the agressors. To him they represent freedom from the shackles of what it means to be part of humanity, a fundamentally social species
#Fumi rambles#Was asked to post this but a lot of this is present in my shuro-Laios fight analysis from Laios’ pov#Bite sized fumi#Laios touden#Meta#happy nightmare chapter day#Character analysis#Spoilers#dungeon meshi manga spoilers#And humanity being a social species is ofc ultimately not shown as a negative.#Dunmeshi is about unity and coming together when seeking to understand that which you do not!!!#But yeah like imagine if you will that you can never really trust your own perspective of events because you literally can’t tell#Wether the person likes you or hates you and you just can’t tell. Even when they ARE being obvious about it#The nightmare scene is so real like I def have vivid memories where I’m like ‘Ah yeah they cringed here#that should have been a dead giveaway’. It wears on self-esteem and self-trust. Like “you don’t belong in society” in a way they’re#sorta like factually not wrong and like. Oh ok man. Sitting down#Just spitballing here obvi. Personal experience. Hey did you guys know that dunmeshi is good. Man. It’s good#Dungeon meshi#Analysis#Feeling The Owl House Gus meltdown episode in tha club tonight#Sobbing about how the flashbacks we see of Laios’ childhood are only happy when it centers around Falin or the dogs
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i don't know if you've got a phone in there charlie, but...
i think he'd like to hear your voice.
#heartstopperedit#heartstopper#nick nelson#charlie spring#nick x charlie#narlieedit#narlie#mine#i wondered why tao would include this but then i thought the sobbing in his arms must've alerted tao#so maybe he put this in as a way of saying to charlie.. hey#just so you know when you get out.. nick wasn't doing too good and he wouldn't tell you
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Cait Sith Carried like a Cat.
#Cait Sith#FFVII#FF7#FFVII Rebirth#FF7 Rebirth#idk why Red feel the need to carry Cait like momma cat but I totally approve#I just hope that scene last longer#I love those two uwuuu#n fatmog#I finished the game around a month ago btw lol#thought to post something after that but in the end no time and the moment passed away sob#tldr idk wth happened in the end but this game is a joyful ride 95% of time#so yea play ffvii rebirth everyone its good
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