#it was funny when i wrote it okay

[arrgh-whatever]

[cabeswaterdrowned]

unstoppable force (Adam’s canonical teacher kink) meets immovable object (Gansey being a professor’s soul in a teenagers body).

[shima-draws]

One Piece where everything’s the same except Cora doesn’t die but Law’s still determined to absolutely beat the shit out of Doflamingo anyway. Cut to post Dressrosa where Law gets a VERY frantic phone call from Cora who’s like what the actual FUCK I saw the newspaper this morning you went up against Doffy all by yourself?? You promised me we would do this together you little SHIT do you have any idea how fucking scared out of my MIND I was when I saw the headline and I thought something happened to you, Law I swear to god, and Law’s like yes Cora I went up against him by myself, like HELL I was going to let him lay a single finger on you. And Cora’s like THAT’S MY LINE!!! You’re MY kid and I should be the one protecting YOU!! And Law’s like what with your shitty devil fruit powers? What could you have done? You would have fallen on your ass and gotten hurt or shot or worse and I’d be too fucking worried about you to focus on anything else. And Cora’s like this conversation is NOT over but I’m so so glad you’re okay. And he starts crying and he’s like oh my GOD Law you know how insane Doffy is I could have lost you. And I wouldn’t have even known until after the fact. And Law goes all quiet and he’s like I know I’m sorry but I could have lost YOU and I couldn’t handle that. I couldn’t. And Cora’s sobbing and he’s like I love you so much Law and Law’s like yeah. I love you too 🥺

Meanwhile the Strawhats witnessed this entire conversation and they’re like. Wow okay that was a lot to unpack. Law’s got a dad and they’re very protective of each other and apparently his dad is Doflamingo’s brother?? And Law literally dismantled Doflamingo’s entire criminal organization and DIDN’T bother telling his dad about it?? No wonder he’s pissed. And they’re also like awwwww we’ve never seen Law so soft and vulnerable before 💕 and Law looks at them and he’s like. You repeat ANY of what you just heard and I WILL kill you. And they’re like ‘Mhmm okay yup we hear you loud and clear. Btw what’s your dad like’ with the BIGGEST shit eating grins and Law’s like Okay! Killing you now!! And proceeds to chase them with his katana

[bambiraptorx]

Rise au with the whole 'Draxum kidnaps a turtle for nefarious and evil purposes' trope except the gargoyles are super not into it and actively trying to free said turtle

Like maybe they aren't super obviously going against it or anything (especially given the premise of their boss kidnapping a whole ass child and presumably more or less torturing them, he's probably not a guy you necessarily want to confront directly) but they are distinctly not playing along.

Cause the thing is, they've canonically been lying to him since the day he hired them and he presumably never figured that out (he probably would not have kept them around if he had) and they're kinda known for being 'stupid' and messing stuff up, so it wouldn't be all that hard for them to just. Do that on purpose.

For example: Draxum tells them to stop feeding the whichever turtle it is so that he can starve into compliance. A few days later he's like "damn why isn't starving them working" and the gargoyles are just like "oh we were supposed to be doing that? we forgor oopsie :("

or like

Draxum asks them to watch the turtle overnight, and the next morning they're like "oh did you mean keep them in the cage overnight? Cause we just let them out. Yeah for a stretch, a quick little run. Btw you're paying us overtime for that right?"

Draxum's like "well go find them you buffoons" and they're like "okay fine", and then come back half an hour later and are like "good news we figured out how to find the kid fast! we called yokai CPS :)"

[skitskatdacat63]

Nando being silly in S2E2 of his doc 🥺

[demigod-of-the-agni]

#ooo he'd definitely get fluffenchops

broski you are so right for this. holding you up like simba rn

also coloured in the first drawing from earlier (guess it's a ref sheet) and now, i reveal to you all that the bird kinnara!pavi is based on is the indian paradise flycatcher. they're so sexy like what the fuck man

yes he has ten limbs (three pairs of wings + 2 arms + 2 legs) because i thought it would all add up to eight and make a funny comparison to 8-arm-spidey but i'm not a math student so i fucked it up anyway

[cosmobrain00]

will with guns but in a traumatic way

[selfinserttothestars]

I apparently wrote this on July 4th of last year. It’s almost been a full year since I started playing Twisted Wonderland and that’s wild to me. I just live here now lmao anyway here’s wonderwall—

•

It was unusual for her not to leave her last class of the day without at least Deuce by her side but there was some important Heartslabyul meeting that he and Ace had to attend. They couldn’t be late and Chris was understanding of this. Riddle would have their heads if he was in a bad enough mood, and no one wanted to risk anymore of that. Jack had a different class than the trio for their last period, so Chris was walking on her own. The hallway wasn’t complete empty as there were students sprinkled around here and there minding their business, but it was much less crowded than it was throughout the day. Chris hummed a tune as she carried what had been dubbed “the bubble” on her back. It was just a cat carrier for Grim to sit in, but calling it “the bubble” was much funnier. Grim would normally complain about the bubble and just how humiliating it was for a “great mage” to be carried around in such a thing, but today he was quiet. Chris had to keep him awake until the final bell but once he was free to rest he didn’t hesitate. Grim slept peacefully to the muffled sounds of Chris’s tune and the gentle sway of her paces. It was nice for both of them. Chris was slow to walk down a set of stairs so not to disturb the sleepy creature and jostle him awake, but each step made her lag behind most of her schoolmates. Eventually everyone seemed far enough away that she felt safe enough to bring her humming to quiet singing. Someone would have to be fairly close to hear her words.

”Cruel and cold like winds on the sea,

Will you ever return to me?”

Since her latest Crowley-assigned-odd-job regarding the Housewarden of the Octavinelle Dorm, she’d been recalling ocean related songs. Having been in the ocean for a while had really brought out her inner siren… or something. She couldn’t recall how she knew the handful of shanties that she did, but there was really no point in fretting about it. They sounded nice, so why not sing them when given the chance.

“Over waves and deep in the blue,

I will give up my heart for you.”

Chris turned the corner without looking. It had already become muscle memory for her, so she hardly had to check where she was going. She knew her way out of the school and to her dorm. It was almost mindless at this point. So much so that she hardly noticed her own footsteps.

Or anyone else’s.

”Come my love, be one with the sea.

Rule with me for eternity.”

Suddenly the song, along with her steps were briskly put to a halt. She’d bumped into someone when her guard was down but quickly snapped back to reality, stumbling back in the process.

“Sorry! I’m sor—“

She looked up to see an all too familiar figure turn to look at her.

Floyd.

“Was that you, shrimpy?” He mused, a smile spreading across his face. He laughed as his twin, only a few steps ahead of him, turned to see what had just happened.

Jade.

Both of them.

“Are you two alright?” The other boy asked, stepping back to be as uncomfortably close to Chris as his brother. She felt as though she had rapidly shrunk. There was no ill will between them, but Chris couldn’t shake the feeling of danger she felt whenever they approached. This time she was alone. No one could save her.

“Did you hear shrimpy?” Floyd asked, turning to his brother. “He was singing!”

“That was him?” Jade asked, bemused by the idea.

Chris didn’t dare make a sound.

“Yeah! Maybe Azul shoulda had him give his voice as collateral instead of the dorm when they made that contract.” Floyd laughed at his own joke, but this only reinforced the fear that was already brewing inside of Chris. Jade finally turned his attention to her.

Oh no.

“What my brother means to say is: you have a lovely voice.” He began. “Besides, we’d have no practical use for it.”

Not as reassuring as he might have thought, but there wasn’t much that either of them could say that could convince Chris not to run at the first chance she’d get.

“But you heard him right?” Floyd said, getting his brother’s attention again. “He almost sounded like a—“

Somewhere a pair of lightbulbs flickered on, illuminating what was once hidden.

Girl. Chris sounded like a girl.

The duo looked back at Chris only to see that she was already darting back around the corner she came from. They could hear Grim’s muffled shouting from his bubble, as he was definitely awake now. She was a good distance away by the time the two wordlessly agreed to go after her. They had so many questions now, and there was always a bit of fun to a chase, right?

“Wait up!”

“Come back!”

•

Also for anyone who’s wondering, this is the bubble:

[lost-in-fandoms]

Logan and Max have another talk, or 'does kissing count as free therapy?' Part 2 of whatever this was. I couldn't fall asleep last night because of how hard I kept thinking about these two. I blame @girlsdads for giving me the brainrot in the first place.

cw: the tiniest bit of implied sexual content

It's another bad race. Fucking 16th, only ahead of the two Saubers, and of the Haas and Alpine that had crashed each other out. There was no reason why his pit stop had to be 4.3 seconds, when Alex's had been 2.7, no reason why he had been fucked over by not one but two undercuts because of shitty strategy, no reason why Alex's side of the garage had to be celebrating 8th place while his was sullen and quiet.

Logan fears he's going to throw up when he steps in and James claps him on the shoulder, saying sorry, next time, as if Logan doesn't know his contract is on the line. Fucking. Next time?!

Logan feels like he's trying to swim with his hands tied behind his back, desperately trying to make it to shore. Nobody cares he's drowning.

He can barely look up during the debrief, feels like he's choking the whole time on the words nobody is saying. As soon as he's free, he escapes, fumbling for his phone as usual. Only this time, he doesn't call his mom.

Are you free?

Max has his motorhome this weekend, and Logan doesn't wait for an answer before heading over. If he doesn't answer, he'll just take a walk.

Yes come over

He's knocking on Max's door before he can rethink it, before all these feelings catch up on him and he decides he's going to break down alone instead. When Max opens his door, Logan immediately regrets it. He's wearing a black t-shirt, hair styled, looking ready to go out. Of course he's heading out, he has a win to celebrate. Unlike Logan. Who should have just gone home.

He opens his mouth, ready to apologize and turn around, when Max's hand closes on his shoulder, his mouth downturned with what would be worry, if it wasn't absurd for Max Verstappen to be worried about him.

"Come in," Max says, doesn't leave space for arguments when he pulls Logan inside, closing the door behind him.

For a long moment they just look at each other, as Logan's waves lap at his neck. He doesn't know why he's here anymore.

"Are you okay?" Max's hand is still on his shoulder. Logan feels like he'll keel over if he takes it back.

"I might be out of a seat."

It's not an answer to Max's question, it's not even what Logan meant to say, it's not something he should be telling to the competition, but really. Logan is barely Max's competition at all, and who wouldn't know that after this season's disaster? Nobody is counting on him to race next year.

He waits for Max to say something, even if it's just empty platitudes, but the other just squeezes his shoulder and nods, and suddenly it's much harder to hold back his tears.

"I just..." he breathes in, willing his voice to not crack, "I don't know what I am doing wrong."

It comes out more desperate than he meant it to, but he's just so tired and upset, and nobody is seeing him drown. Why is nobody paying attention?

"You have a shit car, get bad strategy calls, and have a teammate with years more of experience. You are not the one doing it wrong."

Max says it so matter of fact, as if he's the one driving the shit car, the one with the better teammate, the one having to fight through the back of the field with no success, and suddenly Logan is angry. He shrugs Max's hand away, fists clenching. What does Max know about being the second driver in a bad team? How dares he say he knows Logan's hunger?

"Fuck off," he spits, wrapping his arms around himself to hide the way his hands are trembling. He shouldn't have come.

"You have potential, you are not doing it wrong," Max says again, stubborn and bull-headed as always, jaw set and eyes clear. Logan's anger spikes again. Max Verstappen, the prodigy child, talking to him about wasted potential? This must be a joke. He scoffs, ready to turn around and leave, but Max grabs him again, gets a hold on his elbow and keeps him where he is.

"Why are you angry?" he asks. And yeah, this must be a joke, for sure. Why is Logan angry? Why is he angry?!

"You don't get to..." he starts, but Max interrupts him, squeezing his elbow.

"No. Why are you angry?"

"The team..."

Max takes a step closer, narrowing his eyes.

"Not the team, I do not care about the team. Why are you angry?"

As if there was a right answer to the question that Logan isn't getting! It's his own anger! And Max doesn't care about the team? Of course he doesn't, it's not his team fucking up! Why can't Logan be angry about the team?!

"Alex gets..."

"No. Why are you angry?" Max interrupts again, steadfast in a way that grates on Logan's nerves.

They're too close now, and for a second Logan entertains the idea of punching three times world Champion Max Verstappen. Anger burns in his chest, and suddenly, without knowing who closed the gap, they're kissing. It's not a nice kiss, all teeth and spit, and it almost feels the same as the punch he hasn't thrown, until Max moves his hand from his elbow to his waist, the other one coming up to cup the back of his neck, turning his head slightly. Gentling him.

His anger is back in his lungs, but it's no longer anger, it's back to salt water, and Logan is drowning again. He breaks the kiss, gasping, but Max doesn't let him go.

Logan doesn't remember the last time someone held him like this, like being here matters.

"Why are you angry?" Max asks again, breath soft against Logan's bitten lips. He smells vaguely like minty toothpaste.

"Because..." he hesitates, but at this point he might as feel say fuck it, and give it all. All his fleshy insides in Max's hands, bleeding on the floor between them. "Because I could do better, but I can't do it like this."

This time Max nods. "You could do better."

And Logan knows his parents and friends have said it before, have kept saying it for years. Knows his time in Formula 2 speaks for itself. But it's different, to have Max say it like that, so surely. It's a different kind of validation, and a different kind of heartbreak, because they both know his time to prove it is running out. It's hard to breathe again.

"It is good to be angry. It makes you want to take it," Max says, maybe mistaking the way his breathing has gone funny. But Logan doesn't feel angry anymore. He's tired, and scared, and lonely. He drops his head on Max's shoulder, who moves to card his fingers in his hair, bearing his weight with ease. Logan wishes anything would come easy to him instead.

"I don't know how to be angry," Logan confesses. He doesn't want to say it, doesn't want to disappoint Max, but he disappoints better than he lies anyway. What's one more person.

"That is of course still okay," Max says, instead of some sort of rebuke Logan is expecting. For a second, he thinks about the stories of Max's childhood, of angry men and steel hands. Max's fingers are gentle in his hair.

"What do you want right now?"

It's too big of a question. Logan wants his seat to be safe, he wants to end in the points, he wants a good car, he wants to not feel so distant from everyone else, he wants to go home. He wants someone to tell him it will be alright and mean it.

He shakes his head, forehead dragging against Max's t-shirt. Disappointing again.

Max holds his hair a little tighter, uses the grip to pull Logan up, to make him open his eyes.

"What do you need?"

And it's the same, but it is different, and Logan needs...he needs...

"You can take it. What you need." Max sounds so sure of it, Logan can almost believe it. Maybe Logan doesn't know how to take, doesn't know how to fix it, but here, now, he at least knows what he needs.

"I need to be better," he says, words bleeding out from his split-open chest. "I need to be good."

They both know what Logan means, because the thing with Max is, that it's always about racing, even when it isn't, and it is also always both at the same time.

Max nods, letting go of his hair, and Logan pushes him around, back against the door. Gentle, because he needs to be, but firm, because he wants this.

He eases himself to his knees, and feels Max's hand cup his cheek. His raspy voice isn't disappointed, or pitying, or even sad when he speaks, only fond. A little proud.

"Good boy."

[magentagalaxies]

i would like to thank paul bellini for many things but mostly for being the reason i have said the phrase "goddamn chia-pet-sex" so many times in the past few months

[softquietsteadylove]

Idk if this is kinda random but i think a Wanted AU could be interesting, Thena is intimidating and doesn’t talk a lot just like Fox, and Gilgamesh is a little funny & little quirky gentleman just like Wesley☺️

Gil sighed as the bullet just barely clipped the edge of Wilbur hanging from the ceiling rack. He set down the weapon, trying to stand against the weight of Phastos' glare.

"Still?" Ajak asked with her hands on her hips.

Gil scrubbed his hand over his face. He thought he had made great progress too. He wasn't getting his ass kicked by Ikaris nearly as much, he was getting better at his agility training with Thena running on the trains. He had even caught that stupid shuttle.

Thena eyed him. She didn't say much, and what she did say was usually to berate him for being too soft. She was quite the opposite. She was hard and sharp and polished. He never saw her in the recovery baths.

Well, he did once. She had climbed right out, even looked at him as she did. He had gone right back underwater, red as a beet. He was pretty sure all she'd done was laugh.

Thena looked at Ajak, nodding her head. Ajak may have looked faintly surprised but nodded. Thena walked lazily away from their table.

Gil looked between them, his blood already running cold. His head whipped back and forth, "n-no, I-I-I can't--this is-"

"Curve the bullet," Ajak ordered.

"No, I-I can't, I'll-!" Gil looked at where Thena was standing in front of their trusty shooting dummy. She looked at him evenly, as if there were no question he would make the shot to the target directly behind her. A shot he had yet to get close to.

"Curve," Ajak repeated, "the bullet."

"You're insane," he snapped, but everyone was just standing there. He looked at Thena again, "I won't!"

She just looked at him. She thought he could do it.

He gulped. What if he failed again? What if he grazed her? What if he full on shot her?!

Thena was the only one who had been even remotely nice to him. Well, maybe nice was a stretch. But she had been tasked with training him, and when everyone else seemed determined he was a dud, she had kept working with him.

She had taught him to keep up with her on the train roofs, taught him how to navigate Ikaris' beatings and Kingo's target practices. He had even learned about the story of her past, and that the tattoo on her back helped reclaim the skin scarred and burned from the man hired to kill her father.

Thena was, for better or worse, his only friend here, in a lot of ways.

"Shoot around her," Ajak pressed, revealing more of the side of her that really scared him. "Or through her."

He stared at Thena again, though. He couldn't take that chance. Training was one thing, but he refused to be responsible for sending her to the recovery baths for something as serious as a failed shot.

"Gil."

Everyone looked surprised as she spoke. The Fox didn't speak much, after all, unless it was to tell someone they were being a hindrance to her.

But she looked at him without a hint of worry. Her eyes were so pretty. "Take the shot."

"But," he floundered, sounding like a little kid about to piss his pants. But he couldn't--he just couldn't. What if he hurt her?

"You'll be fine."

Gil let out a breath. He could do this. Thena believed he could do this. And this was after she had watched him get the shit kicked out of him, by everyone here including herself.

"He's ready," she argued to Ajak, who remained relatively unmoved. She was vouching for him (with her life, at that). She had every faith that he wouldn't let anything happen to her.

This from the woman who told him not to trust anyone or anything.

Gil took a few rapid breaths. He looked at Thena, her blonde hair, her pretty green eyes, the fall of her shoulders. She was relaxed. He picked up and fired in the same motion, twisting his wrist as if he were throwing something.

They all watched as the bullet flew, rustling through Thena's hair on its way past her. She didn't even blink, waiting until the sound of it hitting their target behind her let her smile. "See?"

Gil panted. He couldn't be as sure as her, but he had managed not to hit her. That was good enough for him, for now.

"He is ready," Ajak finally agreed, having witnessed the evidence for herself. She chuckled, though, attending to other matters calling her name. "He'll have his first assignment within the week."

Gil watched everyone else leave, only he and Thena remaining. "You didn't have to make yourself a target."

She smiled, and he could almost imagine she was proud of him instead of just amused. She sauntered back over, swaying her hips to show her humour. "You hit it, did you not?"

"You seem awfully sure I would," he grumbled as she returned to his side.

Thena looked at him, settling her hands on her hips. She was such a little thing for being an assassin. But the Fox specialised in bladed kills. She didn't need to physically out-muscle her targets. "You have all this pressure built up inside of you. From the moment I found you, I could see The Sight in you trying to escape. But you repress it so firmly."

Gil shrugged, dragging his finger along the edge of the table. She had a habit of making him act like a boy around his first crush. "When you're a big guy, you make people kinda nervous. I don't want anyone to be scared of me."

Thena's shoulders loosened further, maybe even seeming to drop. "You're sweet, Gil. And I don't mean it in a good way."

Of course she didn't. He sighed; he wasn't exactly unfamiliar with being scolded around here for being a normal dude.

"You're soft, and the rest of them," she nodded towards the door, indicating her comrades--people she had known for most of her life. She frowned, "know it. And they'll feed off it, if you give them the chance."

He raised an eyebrow at that. They were like family here at the textiles factory, he hadn't expected there to be dissent between them.

"Let out some of that pent up pressure," she concluded, patting his shoulder on her way to also go about her day. "I would love to see you give Ikaris another thorough beating."

He had enjoyed that.

"Look at your old life, maybe, see how far you've come," she shrugged, turning and walking out the last few steps backwards to look at him. "I seem to recall you had a girlfriend, disloyal as she was. Perhaps some breakup sex would help you blow off some steam."

Oh yeah, he hadn't thought his girlfriend - actually, it was probably pretty safe to call her his ex at this point - since...since meeting Thena.

He blushed, and he heard Thena laughing about it all the way down the stairs.

[ghost-of-you]

5sos: puts HBG on the dice

5sos: has to play HBG

5sos: surprised pikachu face

No because those men took a glorified beach ball the size of Luke, slapped a song they actively hate and they think we like because of the chanting (hbg), 2 songs a lot of people talk about in social media and we do actively like (wayf and iydk), a song they never played before that is somewhat popular on 5sostok for conspiracy theories about who it is about (ela) and 2 songs I have no idea how even ended up on the mix (voodoo doll and heartache) and decided that literally throwing that in the audience would be a great idea. A tour doesn't need a surprise song, they made a conscious decision of making the dice, then they pick the songs on said dice and go all when it lands on half of them.

Like dudes what the hell did you think was gonna happen? That you could cheat your way into not playing it the whole tour? If you don't want to play the song don't make it an option, is not like y'all are not pretending half your discography doesn't exist, put hbg in that box and tell the people chanting for it to get over themselves. It's your show, you make the rules. If you hate a song don't fucking make it an option.

[rollforjackass]

i truly and honestly believe that it would have been much funnier if snw had spock just. 100% miss out on anything crazy that happened. time travel shenanigans? he was in the lab. ship invaded? meditating. gets split into two separate versions of himself? no wonder reports were getting done twice as fast!

man has the most normal and boring starship tour of his life up until the events of the cage happen, remains totally unimpressed with humans and the federation in general, and then hops aboard with kirk and experiences the most batshit five years of his whole life

[supahstarrr]

terurose and terueden moments all in one episode... FUCK YEAH!!!!!!!!!

[quiescentdestiny]

I saw a post a while back that essentially was like complaining about aftg/andrew playlists having Conan Grey or Tswift and the entire arguement was "andrew wouldn't listen to that" and I just----

I just.... I need to know, are people making playlists based on what music the character would LISTEN to???? because that's.... definitely not what I do when I make character playlists.

[tethrras]

the worst thing about Having your work published or performed or whatever is the fact you have to make it palatable to other people. i'm considering taking out a joke that has been in the show since the first draft because i'm like. does this even contribute to the story? JOKES CAN JUST BE JOKES!!! and yet i've convinced myself it needs to be taken out. oh my god. i can't do this