#it seriously does not help that whenever i rp as him i just stop thinking and default to oh I'll just say whatever its fine

[trenchcoatsbi]

Sometimes I wonder if I actually kin my smp character or if I just made the character to much like me -🪻

GOD THAT IS SO FELT!!! that's me with my oc i made for a tma based smp im on rn that my friends made.... Am I the silly spider guy I made or did I just give him too many of my traits....

[rnelodyy]

c!Dream and the rules

(/dsmp /rp, all names refer to characters, not content creators)

I think one of the most striking parts of Exile is something that I rarely see talked about, and it’s Dream’s rules. Or rather, how his rules were made to be used as justification to hurt Tommy.

The thing about exile is that, outside of the initial rule of “Don’t go back to L’Manburg”, Dream never told Tommy the rules, yet constantly operated under the assumption that Tommy already knew them, and had accepted them. The rules also changed constantly, without Tommy ever being notified until he was already in trouble.

The second time Dream told Tommy to put his armor in the hole, he didn’t tell Tommy to do that right away. Instead, the conversation went like this (slightly edited to remove stammering and unrelated dialogue).

Dream: Do you have, uh… something you wanna put on the floor here? Tommy: Yes. (drops two pieces of red concrete as Dream digs a hole) Dre-eam! You’re evil. You’re evil. Dream: Anything else, Tommy? Tommy: Nope! Dream: Oh c’mon, I know there’s something else you wanna drop down here. Tommy: (panicking slightly) No, there… (messages BBH “take this and run”, throws him the disc BBH had gifted him earlier) Um… I don’t reckon there is! (pause) Dream: Okay, are you suuuure? Tommy: YES. Dream: Alright… How ‘bout your armor, Tommy? Tommy: Well, no, this is- I actually earned this myself. Dream: I know you did! Tommy: Leave me alone. Dream: Just drop it in the hole, Tommy. Tommy: Wh- no, NO, you can’t just come and demand things from me! I’ve been exiled, I’ve done your shit, what do you mean?! Dream: (sing-song) Tommy… Tommy: What? (Dream hits Tommy with his axe, taking over half his health) Tommy: (screams, drops his armor) OKAY OKAY OKAY OKAY OKAY OKAY OKAY!

The only rule Tommy was aware of at this time was that he wasn’t allowed to go back to L’Manburg. Dream had taken his armor the night before, but there was no indication that he expected Tommy to do this constantly. Taking his armor upon initially arriving at Logstedshire made some kind of sense, allowing Tommy to keep it would run the risk of him trying to fight his way back into L’Manburg. Taking his new, very shitty armor (seriously it was an iron chestplate and a pair of golden leggings he got from a ruined portal chest) made no sense at all, so the fact that Tommy was confused and refused to cooperate at first isn’t unexpected in the slightest.

And the thing is… Dream was aware of this fact. Throughout the conversation, he never really sounded annoyed, and was actively teasing Tommy at times. This isn’t a good thing btw, it’s a sign that he was fully aware that Tommy didn’t know what he wanted from him, and that that would create a situation where Dream could “put him in his place” as it were.

If you’re a parent, and your kid does something that’s not allowed, without knowing it’s not allowed, you don’t start off with a beating. You sit them down, calmly explain the rules to them and explain why those rules are there, then send them on their way with the knowledge that they shouldn't do it again.

This interaction wasn’t an instance of Tommy acting out and Dream correcting him. This interaction was a trap. Dream set Tommy up to fail by not telling him the rules beforehand, and when Tommy offered even the slightest bit of resistance and asked why he needed to drop his armor, Dream jumped straight to beating him. It’s a powerplay, plain and simple.

This is demonstrated again with the destruction of Logstedshire. Dream got pissed that Tommy disobeyed him by having hidden chests with gear under his house, and retaliated by destroying everything Tommy had built, destroying every item he’d collected, killing his pet and only foodsource, barring him from the Nether, banning everyone except himself from visiting, and telling him to start over from scratch after a whole lecture about how Tommy betrayed him.

Again, I wanna point out some specific lines from this lecture that illustrate my point very well.

Dream: You were lying to me! You were lying to me. Tommy: No- Why was I lying?! Dream: What do you mean, why were you lying?! Tommy: I wasn’t hi- I wasn’t- Dream: You hid things in a chest knowing they were things I wouldn’t want you to have! And you hid it in a way that way I would never find it!

Except Tommy didn’t know that. The contents of the stash were all items that Tommy had obtained previously without any issue (diamonds, emeralds, iron, ender pearls, some pickaxes, and some purely sentimental items like flowers, a jukebox, and pictures of Tubbo and L’Manburg). In fact, the vast majority of them came from Tommy’s aboveground storage, which Dream had full access to, and had looked through before!

Dream also never said Tommy wasn’t allowed to hide stuff, and there was nothing to suggest he didn’t want Tommy to keep secrets from him.

There’s been a theory floating around for a while that Dream knew about Tommy’s item stash beforehand, since it was a very strange place to dig a hole (like, right in front of the house in the center of Logstedshire itself, instead of out in the plains where the TNT wouldn’t damage any structures), and Tommy had previously forgotten to cover up the entrance ladder. While Dream hadn’t looked inside the house, he would’ve definitely heard Tommy place the block back.

If this theory is correct, then this was yet another trap. Dream knew Tommy had a hidden room, and instead of just saying “hey, I don’t want you to have a hidden stash, go put this back and fill in the room” (which would’ve still been bullshit btw), he went COMPLETELY ballistic, destroyed EVERYTHING Tommy had, and while doing it, kept admonishing Tommy for betraying him, said shit like “I thought we were friends”, and even accused him of preparing to attack Dream. Again, a powerplay.

Hell, even the exile conflict itself is this! Tommy was exiled for griefing the king’s property while being a high-ranking official in L’Manburg. Except Fundy, the then-president’s son, CONSTANTLY griefed Eret’s shit after the L’Manburg war, ranging from ripping down one of their towers to “shrink” it, filling another tower with water, and multiple elaborate plots to steal the throne from under their nose. But apparently, between all of that shit and the exile-conflict, the rules were silently changed, meaning Dream could exile Tommy for breaking a couple blocks and placing some rude signs in George’s house. Even the punishment itself was changed without warning, as Tommy went from being exiled from L’Manburg to exiled from “everywhere that’s ever been touched.”

...I was originally gonna make a different point here. I may put it in the reblogs, because I still think it’s very interesting. But, in the middle of writing this essay I had to stop because it was late, then I spent the entire next day packing up because I’m in the middle of a move. It's now the next evening, I'm sat in my new room, on my camping bed, I opened this doc because I pretty much forgot what I typed, I reread it, and then I realized… This isn’t an isolated series of events. This is a pattern for Dream.

Before Tommy first joined the server, there were only three set rules: no stealing, no griefing, and no killing people. Except by that point, those rules weren’t enforced at all. In fact, Dream broke all three at once at one point, by killing George and burning his diamond armor because he didn’t feel it was fair that George got to run around in full diamond when everyone else still had iron.

Tommy joined the server, and broke the rules like everyone else. He stole shit, broke shit, killed George for funsies… and he got exiled for it. Seriously, they dumped him in an empty snowfield for breaking rules that nobody had enforced for weeks. So technically, the Exile-arc isn’t even the first time something like this has happened to him!

During the events that would eventually spark the Disc War, Sapnap stole a bunch of Tommy’s items (including the only Netherite chestplate on the server at the time), and told him he’d only give the stuff back if Tommy helped him with a conflict he had with Ponk. Long story short, Dream tried to intervene and was killed by Tommy and Sapnap, and Dream stole Tommy’s discs to force him to apologize. He then kept the discs, and the Disc War followed. Sapnap, despite being the aggressor and arguably forcing Tommy to participate in the conflict, was never punished.

This proves not only that the rules can change whenever Dream feels like it, but that they’re arbitrarily enforced. Dream refuses to punish his friends for the same crimes he endlessly fucks over Tommy for.

L’Manburg was created in part because of the fact that the rules were unevenly enforced. Tommy, Wilbur, and later Tubbo were repeatedly killed, stolen from, imprisoned, and even held hostage for very minor crimes, while the people killing, imprisoning, kidnapping and stealing from them were able to do so without impunity.

This was also the point where Dream just started making up new rules; there was no rule against having governments on the server, or making a separate area where Dream’s rules wouldn’t apply, so Dream banned governments, and used this new rule as an excuse to kill them, take their items, and tear their land to shreds.

And that’s another thing: the punishments for breaking Dream’s rules are INCREDIBLY harsh.

Kill him non-canonically one time? Your most prized possessions will now be dangled over your head and used to hurt you for the next few months.

Make a country with different laws that doesn’t infringe on anyone’s territory, has no desire to expand, is explicitly pacifistic and open to trade negotiations? You’ll be forced to fight a war you’re in no way equipped to fight, you’ll be betrayed and murdered and have your land destroyed in front of your very eyes until you literally have no choice but to surrender.

Mildly vandalize the king’s house, which nobody else has ever been punished for? You’ll be dragged into court, exiled from your home, and subjected to weeks of abuse until you believe that all of your friends hate you and you actively want to kill yourself.

Hide some stuff in a secret chest? Your only shelter will be exploded, your pet/only food source will be killed, all your items will be destroyed, you’ll be banned from the Nether, and none of your friends will be allowed to come see you.

This is all such disproportionate retribution it’s ridiculous. It’s like punishing someone for speeding by blowing up their car with a ballistic missile.

So to sum up: Dream’s rules are arbitrarily enforced, and he can just straight up make them up on the spot if he feels like it. Sometimes, he won’t tell you a rule exists until you’ve already broken it, and you’re treated as if you broke it out of malice instead of genuine ignorance. And if you do break a rule, and he decides you have to be punished, it will always be a punishment so harsh it doesn’t even ATTEMPT to fit the crime.

I don’t know about you, but that sounds pretty fucking corrupt and tyrannical to me.

When people say Tommy deserved exile, or made Dream spiral into villainy, or abused Dream somehow (seriously I’ve seen this take multiple times and every time it makes my brain melt) by breaking the rules, I would invite them to take a step back and ask themselves, why did that rule exist? Did Tommy know it existed? Was it enforced for everyone other than him as well? Does the punishment fit the crime?

Dream has a bad habit of making up rules, or enforcing old ones that were never enforced before, to punish those who threaten his power. None of the Dream Team were ever punished for anything, despite committing the same crimes as the L’Manburgians. That is, until they founded Mexican L’Manburg (i.e. went against Dream’s rule), at which point they were attacked by Dream and George was dethroned for “not being neutral enough.”

Tommy should’ve faced consequences for what he did. But those consequences should’ve come naturally, and been carried out by the people he hurt. Like, if Dream hadn’t intervened, griefing George’s house would’ve resulted in George griefing Tommy back in revenge. In fact, he DID do that, by turning Tommy’s entire house into granite and putting the Jump In The Cadillac picture on his front lawn.

These are natural, proportionate consequences. Exile was none of that. The Disc War was none of that. Everything that happened to L’Manburg was none of that.

Dream’s rules and how he enforces them are inherently corrupt and tyrannical. To pretend it’s anything but is disingenuous at best.

[agatadasz]

So lately a got the opportunity to see the arguments of people who say that Technoblade's rp style contrast too much with the serious lore and that made me realise how many of them don't actually have a problem with the lighthearted lore itself but rather they feel that c!Technoblade reaction to serious things are wrong. And I find it very interesting because many of the most know 'how can you joke at the time like this' didn't actually clash with how the story was told and you can see why c!Techno acted that way if you don't let the shock reaction stop you from looking more carefully.

One of most popular examples of 'Why did he joked about this?' is his reaction to c!Tommy death. How could he not take it as serious as ever other character?! Well that answer is quite simple her. One he didn't believed in Tommy's death in the first place. His part of first reaction was to ask Ranboo if he seen the body because if you didn't see the proof how can you be so sure it was true. If you also look at his reaction when on his bday party he learns that Tommy did die he looks down and say a little sad and probably regretful "Oh". Two c!Techno is still hunt by c!Tommy's betrayal so he often talks how much he doesn't care what happens Tommy because he broke his trust so now he don't deserve Technoblade's empathy. He talks about it when rest of the syndicate questions his reaction. It's the same reason why he wishes good luck to c!Niki when she wanted to kill Tommy. Now with this in mind the scene isn't as out of nowhere as I might feel a second before. His reaction made sense in the story and even though it contrasted with other's reactions you can't say that it's completely wrong. You just expected from him different reaction and you weren't when Techno decided to go different direction.

Another example is the prison arc. So many people learn to expect that all the storylines that include prison are dark, angsty and heavy so they felt c!Techno attitude was wrong and out of place. But have they considered that Technoblade didn't come there with the same feelings as people who usually go there? Let me explain. Reason why we connected prison to serious lore is because usually other characters felt uncomfortable there and also came in there with very serious intentions with addition of warren Sam attitude is just feels heavy. However Technoblade came there with plan to get out, we can see that hinted by him putting almost all his stuff in his enderchest instead of the locker, giving his will to Philza as well as admitting that he had a feeling that it was a trap. It's also important to remember that his attitude towards c!Dream is different that we usually see. He doesn't full trust him but he also isn't scared of him and will just make fun of him whenever he can. Because of that he contrast with for example c!Tommy visiting his abuser or c! Sam who is obsessed with the idea of keeping everyone safe by keeping c!Dream in.

I think the last example I will add here is lots of c!Techno c!Ranboo relationship. Lots of people complained how emerald duo did took c!Ranboo confession very seriously because they expected different reaction. However if you look at the reaction itself it makes sense as well as is something positive. Why would war criminals that destroy nation care for a single building that doesn't have any meaning for them and a disc that is problem of a kid that betrayed them? Also by both of them saying that it wasn't a big deal they reminding Ranboo that they won't judge him for this and that he can stay. Similar thing happens when c!Ranboo tells c!Techno about Dream's voice. Techno is quite awkward about it and he joke about it just like he does when he talks about his voices lately. By not acting as the Dream's voice is something terrible he kind of try to show that that voice doesn't make Ranboo evil nor that it's something he should be scared of based on his experience with his voices. He also pulled of 'I'm not sure how to help you see look here is my emotional support bear'.

I could probably do that with most of moments like that but I will stop here (though if you have a scene like that I would love to try to analyse it too) but the general conclusion is that people who complain about the clash tend to get strongly taken aback when c!Techno reaction doesn't meet the expectations they created based of different povs often ignoring the reasoning why that reaction makes sense and isn't as clashing as you might have thought.

[tracer85s]

MDZS fics i treasure (2)

parts 1, 2, 3

The Simplest Way Forward by harriet_vane

[explicit, lan wangji/wei wuxian, 71k, complete]

one of the classics. this is also the fic that got me into the whole mdzs fandom. i literally just searched up kid fic on ao3 and this one seemed promising... so i read it without knowing who tf lan wangji or wei wuxian are... fast forward a few months later and all i can think about is “wangxian are married and have a son.” THEY’RE MARRIED AND HAVE A SON. now take that knowledge and add in modern wangxian as university music students who get married to take care of a-yuan and you’ve got yourselves this brilliant fic. also, i did not know you can endlessly pine for your own husband but with wangxian, anything’s possible

Neatly Arranged by thunderwear

[teen and up, lan wangji/wei wuxian, jiang yanli/jin zixuan, 45k, complete]

yes. i love arranged marriage wangxian fics okay ! they’re my guilty pleasure. this one’s unique because lwj’s actually bethrothed to jiang yanli and jin zixuan’s bethrothed to wwx which is actually kind of funny especially when jzx asks lwj if he wants to switch. it does get angsty but there’s a happy ending !

Night of Sixth Magnitude Stars by Leffy

[mature, lan wangji/wei wuxian, 22k, complete]

modern au with student lwj and teacher wwx although it’s only for the first chapter. THIS FIC. OH MY GOD. i literally got tricked, i thought it would be lighthearted and fluffy but the angst (specifically for wwx’s character) broke my heart. THE PLOT IS AMAZING, PLEASE READ IT

one good thing by Yuu_chi

[teen and up, lan wangji/wei wuxian, 26k, complete]

this one’s a classic, one of the first few mdzs fics i read and i absolutely love it. modern au with ghost wwx and house owner lwj *squeals* IT’S SO FLUFFY... and then gets quite a bit angsty at the end, i swear your heart stops at that scene. anyway it’s such a good read sigh,,, might re-read

Pigtail Pulling by protos_metazu_ison

[general, lan wangji/wei wuxian, 3k, complete]

whenever i’m feeling down, this fic always manages to cheer me up. it’s very lighthearted, just fluffy wangxian in cloud recesses: wwx teasing lwj and lwj teases back and absolutely flusters wwx. it’s just SO CUTE

Rush Hour by Ulan

[teen and up, lan wangji/wei wuxian, 3k, completed]

basically modern wangxian in public transport, pressed up against each other, with a dash of protective lwj and damsel in distress wwx. warning, there is minor sexual assault but the rest is just fluffy wangxian <3

seldom all they seem by Fahye

[explicit, lan wangji/wei wuxian, 24k, complete]

yes... another arranged marriage fic... i have nothing to say for myself. but this one’s just the usual fic with lwj finding wwx annoying at first and then pining so hard afterwards once he realizes wwx is his entire world. the author also changed the wwx escaping with the wens scene and OH MY GOD THEIR VERSION *chef’s kiss*. READ IT !

silhouettes to steal this night by moonsteps

[teen and up, lan wangji/wei wuxian, 51k, complete]

MODERN WANGXIAN AS ASSASSINS/HITMEN AND ROOMMATES. WHAT MORE DO I NEED TO SAY. guys, they just flirt every time they’re assigned to the same hit i am literally crying. top tier fic as expected from moonsteps (read the rest of their works you won’t regret it at all).

so you’ve been robbed by a museum by yukla

[mature, lan wangji/wei wuxian, 5k, complete]

immortal cultivators wangxian in the modern world !! to summarize, wangxian somehow does *not* get their shit together in the ancient times and pine all the way into the 21st century until lwj sees an entire section of paintings of himself hanging in the museum... you can guess whose yearning-induced artistic creations those are ;)

soft-hearted by @sarah-yyy

[general, lan wanji/wei wuxian, 6k, complete]

are you wondering what happens if child lwj found child wwx in the streets and brought him back to gusu with him? this. this is what happens: SOFTNESS, FLUFF, AND WWX CALLING GEGE. i literally didn’t know how much i need childhood friends to lovers wangxian until i read this and every time wwx called lwj gege? hello? i was pretty sure i was going to burst into flames if i kept screaming. also, read the author’s wangxian rebuttable presumption verse on their page bc it’s absolutely genius oh my god i’m never going to shut up about the rp verse

take yourself home by ribena

[mature, lan wangji/wei wuxian, 26k, complete]

okay, this one is HEAVY. like you would seriously just want to wrap wwx in a blanket and feed him soup kind of heavy. to summarize, radio host lwj keeping plant dad wwx company with his voice and then himself once he moves into the same apartment as wwx. honestly, this one hits home for me, it will definitely make you sob but the ending is so hopeful and i need a sequel of just plant dads wangxian being domestic 

tame by rikke

[mature, lan wangji/wei wuxian, 11k, complete]

IMAGINE IF LWJ DID NOT LEAVE WWX AFTER THE XUANWU CAVE. just imagine oh my god, maybe they would’ve gotten their feelings resolved faster... or hatched a baby xuanwu, and wait what? yes, you read right. this fic is about xuanwu dads wangxian in yunmeng, it’s fluffy and funny and just a perfect lighthearted read if you’re having a bad day

The Fire Lapping Up the Creek by notevenyou

[explicit, lan wangji/wei wuxian, 66k, complete]

in which wwx travels to lanling alone for jin ling’s one month celebration and gets heavily injured, cue in very heavy hurt/comfort. warning, there’s major illness and surgery in this fic. so basically, lwj stays in the burial mounds to guard wwx and the wens while wwx recovers from his injury. LISTEN, burial mounds husbands wangxian and heavy hurt/comfort, what more do you need. go read it

The Lotus Defense Society by mondengel

[teen and up, lan wangji/wei wuxian, jiang yanli/jin zixuan, 3k, complete, only available for registered users of ao3]

i have lost count of how many times i’ve read this one, i love it so much. lwj and jzx bond over their mutual pining for wwx and jyl and accidentally starts a cult with nhs to prevent unsuitable people from courting them. where do i even begin with this fic, it’s literally so amazing !! very crack-y, my favourite line is “Young Master Jin!  It’s Lan Wangji! He’s enacting Phoenix Mountain Part 2!” and then what happens after is my favourite scene

the secret ingredient by queen_gee

[teen and up, lan wangji/wei wuxian, 8k, complete]

WWX BAKING FOR LWJ WHO HAS A SWEET TOOTH OH MY GOD I AM SOBBING. modern college/university wangxian with lots of pining and baking, i am literally banging my head against a table this is the sweetest fic, but they’re also idiots in love so there’s some light angst but you’ll literally melt at the ending !!

The Trials and Tribulations of a Modern Father by Bgtea

[teen and up, lan xichen/jiang wanyin, lan wangji/wei wuxian, 24k, complete]

written in jiang fengmian’s pov where jfm realizes jiang cheng attracts a lot of attention from... old men. cue in lan xichen and his charming smile and this spells trouble to jfm so he enlists wwx’s help in operation protect jiang cheng. endgame xicheng with side pairing wangxian, this is absolutely cute and very humorous

with you, I am home by tellthemstories

[mature, lan wangji/wei wuxian, 47k, complete]

MODERN CULTIVATORS WANGXIAN DECIDE TO FAKE DATE *SCREAMS*. slow burn (but not if you read it fast enough), the way they are so domestic in this one oh my god, a LOT of oblivious wwx, and lwj meeting the family. i’m a sucker for fake dating fics and this one is just SO right. i’m urging everyone to read it for self-care

[normal-thoughts-official]

i am very soft for alec kissing magnus’ hands and !!!!! courting him in general!! being very gentlemanly and cherishing magnus the way he deserves—magnus, of course, finds this all very charming and he sometimes doesn’t know what to do with himself. esp early on, but still even through the first few years after they get married. and then he slowly gets accustomed to having someone be so sure and open of their love for him? amazing. and i esp feel that it’s just like... it shows a level of respect and devotion? you know? imagine one or both of them have to make an Appearance at an Event and alec opens the door for magnus. guides him around the room with a hand at the base of his spine. gives his knuckles a kiss—just a gentle press of the lips—whenever he has to step away to speak to someone else or idk like grab them some drinks. like you said, alec is gay and dramatic and he loves magnus bane. don’t tell me he absolutely wouldn’t do all of this and more. and we know magnus would melt. i’m thinking of dream alec, who had major Gentleman energy and was playful with it. it was so sweet, magnus loves that man and that man Loves magnus. —ah, i digress. they just love each other so much your honor

YESSS absolutely!!!! i will never be over that dream sequence because alec was really so suave but he was still so himself you know what i mean?? usually i'm not a fan of overly gentlemany stuff because it feels almost condescending but it still felt so true to them and they were clearly having fun and like!!!!!! MAGNUS DREAMS OF ALEC BEING CHARMING AND GENTLEMANY BUT ULTIMATELY STILL HIMSELF AND FUN AND DORKY AND THEY LOVE EACH OTHER SO MUCH AND MAGNUS DESERVES EVERYTHING HE WANTS

also we KNOW that alec likes some traditional courting and shit, just look at that wedding proposal he had prepared. the roses and the suit and the food??????? amazing. i've said it before and i'll say it again alec wants to court magnus so bad it makes him look stupid

so like YES it is very old fashioned and magnus is a little flustered but again he's lived through the times when that was commonpractice so it's not weird to him, and we all know alec is a dramatic ass gay and they always have fun together at these events even when they suck (see: lorenzo's party). so alec is just alternating between giving magnus very pointed looks and eyebrow raises magnus has to charm his way out of letting other people see because he is VERY obvious, and absolutely in 100% seriousness kissing magnus' knuckles and being like "i'll be back soon" every time he has to go to the bathroom lmao. cat is giving magnus very amused and pointed looks, raphael is making gagging motions towards him and magnus is all like "oh you stop it, i know you are just as bad" like raphael isn't kissing his partner's hands left and right and spoiling them as well lmao (raphael and meliorn and raphael and maia are absolutely insufferable ball power couples and i will accept no less. and meliorn is also Like That all the time so half the time they are making rapha go a little flustered and stupid with all the genthethem-ness lmao)

and dancing!!! i will never be over dancing! yes alec probably sucks at it but does it matter when he has his hand on magnus' waist and they are pressed close and magnus can just melt in his arms? evidence points to no. also i bet they are always roasting the other clave ppl in the room during the dance so they're giggling the whole time like the most annoying lost-in-their-own-world couple that they are

and just generally more interactions like "i'm thinking of taking the next step. crêpes *bad wink*" "ohhh" because again the whole courtship thing is there but it's still so them and they're having fun and ultimately my favorite thing about them is that they are best friends aaa

just like alec extending his hand and being all "care for a dance?" and magnus is all giggly because he sounds so formal and alec is like "what?" with that almost-offended face of his and magnus is all "nothing, my noble gentleman" doing a little bow and flourish and being all "lead the way" and alec rolls his eyes in the most fond way

just... malec being romantic and dumb yes please

also i totally think they like to RP as meeting-at-a-fancy-party and alec picking magnus up and magnus throwing in some "sir"s here and there but that's for another post i'm sorry i can't help myself. the whole dramatic courtship thing turns magnus on you can't change my mind

[sanderssidesfanfiction]

If There’s a Place I Could Be - Chapter Eighty Three

If There’s a Place I Could Be Tag

March 25th, 2003

Remy stared at the menu hanging over the counter and blinked back his tears for just a little while longer. Today had been a long, frustrating day, and he was just going to be making his way to Sleep Easy for more long, frustrating work. He needed a break. He needed sleep. He needed food. But he wasn’t about to get any of those things, because he had to keep working even when the going got tough.

August walked out of the back and stood back to the counter like Remy was doing, sighing. “At least it’s closed now?” she offered.

“I can’t keep doing this,” Remy groaned. “I can’t keep up this amount of work.”

“Just a little while longer and you won’t have to,” August consoled him.

“I know,” Remy sighed. “And you’d better come work for me, because I definitely need someone with experience to help train the newbies.”

“Of course,” August said. “Just say when. I’m with you.”

  March 28th, 2003

Remy was staring at the numbers so long that they were starting to blur together. He knew what he had to do, he knew how to run a business, but there were days where it was just...almost too much.

The doorbell rang and Emile called, “I’ll get it!” so that Remy could keep working. Remy both loved and hated Emile for that. He kept focusing on his work for all of the twenty seconds it took for Emile to welcome the person on the other side of their door. When the person responded, Remy’s pen clattered onto the desk. The two voices continued on, and Remy could feel himself moving without telling his body what to do. He walked down the steps of their townhouse, and found Emile talking to the voice in question...but, it couldn’t be... “Toby?” Remy asked.

Toby looked over, put his suitcases down, and smiled. “Hey, baby bro. How you doing?”

Remy’s eyes welled up with tears, and before he knew what he was doing, he ran forward and crushed Toby in a hug, sobbing into his brother’s shoulder. “Oh, baby, it’s okay,” Toby said with a laugh. “I never stopped loving you. I never stopped wanting to write. I should have known that our parents were lying about the letter. I never, ever wanted to hurt you.”

Remy just held his brother tighter, continuing to cry.

“Tell you what, though, your boyfriend is a catch,” Toby said. “I don’t know any of my past girlfriends who would track you down for me.”

Remy took a step back and sniffled, wiping at his eyes. “He’s the best,” Remy said with a weak laugh. “I wouldn’t be the man I am today without him.”

Emile kissed Remy’s cheek and Remy laughed again, tears tapering off. “How about I let you two get caught up, while I take Toby’s stuff to the guest room?” Emile offered.

“Oh, you don’t have to—”

“No, he knows. He’s gonna insist, though, so I wouldn’t recommend fighting him on it,” Remy said with a beaming smile.

“Oh. Okay then,” Toby said. “How about we get one of those killer cups of coffee you can make and we chat?”

“You come to my house with no warning, cause me to have an emotional breakdown, and then ask me to be a barista for you?” Remy asked, a shocked laugh flying out his mouth. “Wow, Tobes, you haven’t changed a bit!”

“Oh. Oh! Oh, God, I didn’t mean it like that—!”

“Remy, no. Toby, I guarantee he was joking, he does the same thing to me all the time,” Emile said. With a grunt, he picked up Toby’s suitcases. “Remy, go easy on him, your parents abused him too, remember?”

Remy paled a little, and sobered a lot. “Oh, Jesus. Forgot that bit.”

Emile rolled his eyes. “I know. Go easy on him. Make yourselves coffee. Hug. Cry a little. Catch up. But go easy on him.”

Remy saluted Emile and watched as he went upstairs, before the realization hit him. “You bastard, you called the number Dice gave you without me!”

The faint, “Yep!” Emile called back made Remy want to run upstairs and slug the no-doubt smug grin off Emile’s face, but Toby put a hand on Remy’s shoulder before he could.

“You okay?” Remy asked when he turned back to find Toby crying.

“You’re real. I just...you’re alive, and joking, and energetic, and you’re real,” Toby said. “I haven’t seen you this animated since you were in the fourth or fifth grade.”

“Yeah. Being away from Mom and Dad combined with Emile sorta...force-feeding me the idea that it’s okay to feel kinda...helped,” Remy said awkwardly. “I don’t really know what to tell you. The change was so subtle it feels like I barely noticed after a while.”

“I need to pay that man a million bucks. You smiled at me, Rem. You genuinely smiled.”

“Don’t give him more money, he already has a trust fund,” Remy joked, walking to the kitchen.

“Woah, hold up, what?!” Toby asked.

“How do you think he hired a private investigator to find you? Guy’s kinda loaded. Less so since he bought the shop and put some of his money into the PI, but he still has a lot,” Remy said, setting everything up to make coffee.

Toby shook his head. “Holy shit, Rem, you need to tell. Me. Everything.”

“In due time,” Remy said, beaming at Toby. “In due time, I promise I will.”

Once Remy had the coffee pot on, he hugged Toby again, taking in how he still smelled like the laundry detergent he used, how he wrapped his arms around Remy like he was scared Remy would break, how he was warm and alive and felt safe to Remy’s brain. Toby let out a shaky breath. “This doesn’t feel real,” Toby admitted. “None of it feels real.”

“I know,” Remy responded quietly. “But it is.”

“Am I intruding?” Emile asked from the entrance to the kitchen.

Remy stepped back by maybe six inches, still leaning into Toby slightly. “Not at all,” he said. “What’s up?”

“These fell out of your bag, Toby,” Emile said, passing over three pairs of packages, each pair wrapped up in different wrapping paper.

“Ah! Just as well, I was going to go upstairs to get them for Rem in a minute anyway,” Toby said. “Hey, Rem! Want to open three years’ worth of Christmas and birthday presents?”

Remy laughed in shock. “Seriously, Tobes?! You didn’t have to!”

“I know, but I wanted to,” Toby said with a grin, passing Remy one of the pairs, which had a fair amount of dust on it. “These are the earliest, go ahead and open them.”

Remy tore into the paper on the bottom one, and groaned, holding up a For Dummies book on accounting. “Mom’s idea?” he asked.

Toby snorted. “No, I was trying to be tongue-in-cheek about it. ‘In case you want to skip the college classes and save some money.’ Mom would have killed me if she’d known.”

“You know what? You’re right,” Remy said, using the book to point at Toby. “You are absolutely right about that, I’m sorry for implying that you’re in cahoots with her.”

Toby snickered and Emile blinked. “You two look nothing alike at first glance, but your mannerisms are practically identical.”

“That’s the best part about being brothers,” Toby offered. “People would ask if we were twins because we acted so alike.”

“Nah, we just spent time with the people in the house who hated us the least,” Remy laughed, opening up the other present. “Oh...wow. Toby...where did you get these?”

“I know a guy in college who’s a woodworking fanatic,” Toby said as Remy inspected the cooking utensils. “All of them are hand-crafted. Check the bottom of them.”

Remy did and grinned when he saw the initials “RP” embossed on every last one. “I don’t know what to say, Tobes.”

“Oh come on, that pales in comparison to some of the woodwork Liam does,” Toby laughed. “Open the other presents. Two thousand one, next.”

Remy put the book and utensils on the counter, and opened the next set, which turned out to be related. A cookbook that specialized in baking recipes, and a book that taught you how to decorate cookies and cakes to make them look fancier than they were. “This’ll come in handy for the store!” he exclaimed, looking at Toby with a grin. “I’ve always wanted to know how to make the expensive cookies!”

“Game for one more set?” Toby asked.

Remy nodded, taking the last set of packages. He tore one of them open, revealing a soft, fluffy, baby blue sweater that looked like it would give vague shape to Remy’s relatively flat body. “Oh,” he said softly.

“I know clothes are really hit-or-miss, but I saw this and I don’t know why...but it just screamed like something you would enjoy.”

“Yeah, no, definitely,” Remy agreed.

“Uh...it was from the women’s section...if I’m being totally honest,” Toby said, scratching the back of his neck.

“Doesn’t matter to me,” Remy said. It did matter, but not in a negative way. No, it told Remy that one day, Toby might be okay if Remy were to wear something feminine around him. There was hope after all! “I love it still.”

“One last thing,” Toby said.

Remy opened the small package and laughed when he pulled out a shot glass, decked out in rainbow and shaped like a certain unmentionable body part. “Mom would have killed you if I opened that in front of her.”

“Meh, by this time I knew that she wouldn’t be around whenever we saw each other again, so I figured, ‘what the hell? Get him a shot glass that he’d love to use.’”

“I will love to use this on the rare occasion that I drink,” Remy agreed. “And not just because I can pretend it’s Emile’s.”

Emile choked and Remy gave him a wicked grin in response, giggling like mad. Emile took the shot glass out of Remy’s hands and said, “I’m confiscating this so you can’t continuously make jokes about it. You can get it back when you want to use it.”

Remy pouted. “Come on, Emile! I’m done joking!”

“So am I. You’re not getting this back until you want to use it for its intended purpose. I know what you would do to tease me with it, and I’m not having it,” Emile said.

“Am I missing something?” Toby asked.

“You remember when I had a brief lollipop craze in highschool?” Remy asked.

Toby blinked. Then, he turned slightly disgusted. “Rem, that is so much more about your sex life than I ever needed to know.”

Remy giggled shamelessly. “Relax, Tobes, we use protection like you told me to,” he offered.

“You’re getting progressively worse now. Trying to see how bad you can get?” Toby asked.

“Pretty much!” Remy agreed.

“God, I really hate your antics sometimes. Never you, though, Rem.”

Remy beamed. “I love you too, Tobes.”

The coffee machine beeped and Remy poured two mugs full, passing one to Toby. “Shall we go sit on the couch and hang out and stuff?” Remy offered.

“Once I hide your dick glass, sure,” Emile said, ducking out of the room.

“I will find it when you least expect it, Emile, this house isn’t that big!” Remy threatened.

He got no response.

Toby snickered and led Remy to the front of the house, and Remy flopped down on the couch after resting his coffee on the new coffee table. “Tobes, being an adult is hard,” Remy whined.

“Tell me about it. What’s eating at you?” Toby asked.

Remy sighed. “...I worry that I’ll never be enough. I mean, you’ve seen Emile. He’s training to be a therapist, he’s spoken about getting a doctorate one day. I could wind up marrying a doctor, Tobes, and I’ll just be the over-glorified barista who couldn’t stand his managers so he made his own place.”

Toby stared at Remy, coffee in a white-knuckled grip. Remy frowned. “What?”

“So much,” Toby said. “So, so much.”

“Start with the biggest thing and we’ll work our way down,” Remy said.

“Marriage?!” Toby asked incredulously.

“When it’s legal,” Remy agreed.

Toby blinked. “You were going to tell me?!”

“Duh? You still up for being my best man?”

“Hell yes!” Toby exclaimed.

“Next?”

“You’re worthy of so many things. You’re not just an over-glorified barista, you’re a culinary genius and Emile and I both agree on this. Just because you don’t have a fancy diploma doesn’t mean you’re lesser.”

Remy blinked. “Doubt.”

“Reassurance,” Toby replied. “I’ve seen the way Emile looks at you, Rem. The man is smitten. Even if you were lesser, which you’re not, he would never leave you for anything.”

Remy smiled softly. “Anything else?”

“...Abuse?” Toby asked, voice small. “Like, I knew some stuff wasn’t normal, exactly, and some of it was extreme, but abuse?”

Remy’s smile faded and he nodded.

Toby’s eyes clouded with tears. “She said it was my fault that Jamie stalked me,” he admitted softly. “Because they acted so similar and Mom thought she was perfect for me. It wasn’t until I said that I broke it off because she was trying to force herself on me—which is true, I didn’t make it up—that she sided with me. I knew Jamie was abusive, but Mom...”

“It’s okay,” Remy promised, putting a hand on Toby’s shoulder. “We’ll get through it together.”

“Promise?” Toby asked.

Remy nodded. “I promise.”

[showtimeinwonderworld]

Meet The Maestro (aka how I’m gonna be playing this fool till next year)

So choosing to RP as Balan introduces a unique situation for me as a writer:

I have barely anything to work with outside of trailers and what we know about the game he’s from.

For those who’ve decided to give my hyperfixation spur of the moment blog a shot, here’s what you need to know:

Balan Wonderworld is a new game coming out next year that’s basically a NiGHTS successor ala platformer by Yuji Naka, creator of Sonic, with designs by Naoto Ohshima of 2000′s Sonic fame.

And if it isn’t obvious by me using words like ‘hyperfixation’, I’m looking very forward to the game~! Seriously, my mind since I saw the game on that Xbox stream has just been about this game. Hence why I made this blog even though I should REALLY stop with the on and off RP-ing I tend to do, but you gonna do? I like to hit the ground running.

Anyways, since there’s room for interpretation, that is until either A) the game comes out or B) we learn more about the world and characters between now via some kind of developer updates (because let’s face it, they’d be stupid to not show off anything with all the hypethis game has from the get go).

Besides, I have a certain fondness for Clown/Performer type characters of Balan’s type, so I think I have a good grasp on how to go about playing him.

So here’s how I’m doing things till told otherwise.

1. Balan is a Fantasian, an other worldly being that enjoys spreading mirth and good vibes with his traveling theater, The Wonderworld, setting up shop in places only those brave enough dare to explore~!

2. Balan LOVES making friends and sees the good in everyone, even permanent stick in the muds like Lance

3. Despite his eccentric attitude and whimsical worldview, Balan is capable of having long, intelligent conversations about almost any topic, especially if it relates to Performing!

4. Balan is strictly an all ages performer, and while he’s not adverse to more adult oriented humor, he absolutely hates swearing!

5. Since I want to wait a little while longer till we see more of the in-game world proper, I’m holding off on taking folks to Wonderworld. For the time being, he’ll only explain that he only takes special friends for that train ride.

6. Going back to Lance for a second, he actually doesn’t see Lance as a villain. Balan’s job is to entertain and help bring about Balance, so naturally he knows that he’s gonna have some kind of adversary, even if Lance is a pain in a neck with his whole ‘dark brooding’ personality. It’s his goal to make friends with Lance, somehow! After all. Balance. Balan, Lance. See what I’m talkin’ about?

7. I plan on playing Balan as a bit of a trickster. Think Bugs Bunny’s minor world manipulating powers mixed with Max Headroom’s banter and a dash of Spongebob’s playful naivete. He’s a fast talker who loves doing what he does, and he loves nothing more than entertaining whenever he can and making new friends along the way.

8. So in canon of the game (and what little we know), people who enter Wonderworld and the Theatre lose all memory of the experience once they’ve left/found their balance again.

For the sake of RP-ing, I’m choosing to ignore that aspect mostly. The way I’m doing it is thusly: Folks only lose their memory of the Theatre and etc., if they come to get rebalanced. Otherwise, they’ll remember Balan and everything full stop.

9. Last one and another bit of canon diverging. In the game’s canon, the Theatre only appears when someone or something is out of balance.

While this will still ring true, Balan likes to perform in general, so when things are even and balanced, he’ll choose a random town to setup in for his performances.

---

And I think that’s about it for how I’m gonna do this funky dapper fella. At least till we learn more about him and such. Again, I think this is a good way to play him for now, so let’s get this done before more of the game is revealed and I have to do an ass-ton of rewriting!

[homenum-revelio-hq]

Welcome to the Order of the Phoenix, Kat!

You have been accepted for the role of GIDEON PREWETT! We really liked the layers you put into Gideon’s characterization, both within his work (a dark object expert who is presumed to be a mere paper-pusher, how lovely!) and his personal life. We’re looking forward to seeing how he builds relationships with both Fabian and others on the dash! We are so excited to have you as part of this roleplay!

Please take a look at the new member checklist and send in your account within 24 hours! Thank you for joining the fight against Voldemort!

OUT OF CHARACTER:

NAME: kat

AGE: 25

TIMEZONE: est

ACTIVITY LEVEL: about a 7 I try to get on every day at least once to get some replies done. With the whole quarantine thing I am around more often since school has been cancelled forever.

ANYTHING ELSE: nope! I just love this rp!

CHARACTER DETAILS:

NAME: Gideon Prewett

AGE: 30

GENDER, PRONOUNS, and SEXUALITY:

Gideon has always identified as a male and uses he/him pronouns. It never occurred to him to ever be anything else and he feels comfortable in his own skin. The only thing he may not be the most comfortable with is his sexuality. He’s bisexual and though he’s known it about himself most of his life he doesn’t go around telling people. It’s not to say that he’s ashamed of it he just doesn’t see the need to be very open about his romantic life in general. If he were to enter into a romantic relationship with a man he would treat it no differently than if he were to be with a woman. He is aware there might be some that less than accepting of it but what other’s have thought of him has never really been a major concern for him.

BLOOD STATUS: Pureblood

HOUSE ALUMNI: Gryffindor. It was a natural choice. Fabian was sorted and right after he was too. They had always been together in their youth and they remained so in school. They were inseparable and if Gideon sometimes tried to get Fabian to switch places he would dare someone to prove it. He felt at home in Gryffindor. They were lively and brash and the comradery was something he lived for. Perhaps that was part of why he so easily joined the order. The brotherhood that he felt in his former house resonated in the order.

ANY CHANGES: nope he is perfect

CHARACTER BACKGROUND:

PERSONALITY:

Gideon is a complex person. He holds his family above all else and believes they are worth everything. He would die for them and as much as he loves them he would have a hard time accepting that same kind of devotion from them. Though he followed Fabian into the order he has taken to it and held fiercely to his convictions during the war. He believes he is on the right side that the order is where he belongs but he also believes he can be contributing more to the order. That he could be more of a leader and lead them down the right paths. This puts him in a hard spot because he doesn’t want to make Fabian feel as if he’s being abandoned. However in the same thought he thinks Fabian is hiding things from him and that his twin is potentially going down the wrong path. As a child he was like a spot of sunshine. A dreamer but the older he’s gotten the more grounded and cynical he becomes. He still believes that people can live their dreams he just doesn’t believe that kind of life is an option for him anymore.

Gideon has always been the more steady and stable of the twins. He believes in thinking things through before acting on them. He isn’t the one to run head first into the unknown but once he decides something is the right thing to do he will stop at nothing until he sees it done. He is loyal almost to a fault and though he isn’t as bright as he used to be when he was a child he still maintains a friendly disposition and he does his best in all that he does.

BRIEF OVERVIEW OF FAMILY:

Gideon grew up in a loving home. His parents raised him in a way that was not as elitist as the other pureblood families but there were definitely some of those pureblood traits that filtered into his family. He grew up on the outside of the truly elite but not exactly so outside that he was looked down on as much as those who weren’t of pure blood. He loved growing up with his brother and sister. As the oldest boy of the family he often felt it was his job to take charge of his siblings. From deciding which games they should play to telling them how they should live their lives. Though he often came off as bossy he still got on well with his siblings and he loved them more than anything.

Now he would give anything for either of his siblings and his nephews completely own his heart. He can’t imagine his life without them. That’s why it’s such a heart wrenching thing to know that he and Fabian have grown apart. He can’t look back and pinpoint an exact moment when they turned down different paths. They always used to walk down each new path of life together and he can’t see where they went wrong. He only knows that they did and he blames himself for it. Somewhere he got too busy to see what was right in front of him and if he can’t fix things with his twin he’ll never forgive himself. In these uncertain dangerous times it’s even more important to fix their relationship and yet it’s because of these times that he can’t seem to find his way back to Fabian.

OCCUPATION:

His job is to work for the ministry with dark objects. From handling them safely to identifying what they can do any confiscated dark objects are sent off to him and his colleagues to figure out everything about them. His job is dangerous and he knows one wrong move could have disastrous outcomes. He keeps a stable and cool head while at work and often can be found scribbling various notes and mumbling to himself about what he had observed. He considers himself good at his job and has unlocked the details about several hard to crack objects. He views each of them as a puzzle and he enjoys the work over all. The element of danger is enough to give him a little adrenaline kick in the most stressful moments of the job and the rest of the time he’s cool, calm, and collected.

He never reveals any information about the objects he handles to anyone outside of his department and even then it’s only to his superior. He doesn’t believe that the knowledge of all the dark objects the ministry keeps locked up should be out there for just anyone to know. He does however use his knowledge for the good of the order and the people around him as much as possible. Always ready to step in whenever a dark object pops up in their lives.

The wizarding world as a whole probably doesn’t spend much time considering his job at the ministry. As far as he can gather the general public upon hearing his job title normally think of him as a paper pusher. Which is fine with him. The less they know about his job the better. He does confide about his work in a few people. Fabian for the most part though lately he’s been more likely to speak to Edgar about his work. Things are off with his twin and he doesn’t know that speaking about his job would be helpful to him at the moment.

ROLE WITHIN THE ORDER/THOUGHTS ABOUT THE ORDER:

The order is his second family. He can honestly say he cares for each member of it. Some more than others? Of course but he would die for each and every one of them. He takes his role with them seriously. Always ready to perform whatever task is assigned to him. Does he never question them? Of course he does. He isn’t a sheep after all. The leadership are all trustworthy but at times he finds they can be too rash. They doesn’t perhaps always think things through. He believes he can offer the inner circle some stability. Some other opinion that isn’t calling for action all the time but rather calling for observation. Calling for a calm that could benefit them all in the end. His role has gotten a bit more in depth with the order lately. Edgar seems to always be coming to him asking for advice. Asking him questions and he answers as best as he can. But with as much honesty as he can too. He doesn’t want to get into the inner circle with anything less than complete honestly. He’s hesitant though. Wondering how it will effect his relationship with his brother. He knows Fabian is the one who brought him to the order and he doesn’t want to hurt him but he believes his stable calm nature could do some good for the leadership in the order.

SURVIVAL:

Gideon has never been the best in a fight. He can duel when he needs to and he tries his best but his battle for survival has always been fought in the shadows. Like a game of cat and mouse that he’s always winning. At least he has been so far. He doesn’t believe himself to be in much danger in the general day to day of life. He isn’t anything but a paper pusher at the ministry to most people walking down the street. He’s survived everything else with carefully thought out plans and a little luck. Perhaps listening to those who might know better around him as well.

RELATIONSHIPS:

Ryland- All he can feel when he looks at the man now is guilt. He knows Ryland is hurt that it took the order so long to come rescue him and Gideon can offer him no excuses. They have a bond that even now he doesn’t believe is broken but things are strained. Gideon wants them to be easier. He feels as though he failed him but he feels even more that the order failed him. There’s something close to righteous anger over the entire situation and perhaps that’s another driving reason why he wants to be part of the inner circle. He can’t help but think that if he had been one of the ones making the decision that they might have gotten Ryland back sooner.

Fabian- His other half. The only person he would say knows him. Truly knows him. At least he used to. They used to know each other with one glance. Though things are different now. Things are strained in a way that neither will admit to. Weak laughs and half hearted smiles are becoming more and more often between them. There’s something off about his twin. Fabian is into something that he can’t quite put his finger on. He doesn’t know what’s going on with his twin but he wonders if somehow it’s his fault. If many him being tapped to join the inner circle could have caused this shift between them. Or was it simply something he missed when he was trying to keep everything else together.

Edgar- The man is considering him for the inner circle. He knows it. His opinion is asked for so much more now. Edgar wants to know his thoughts on things and Gideon is ready with the answers but they fall from his lips a bit more hesitantly than they normally would. He views Edgar as a rock. Someone who is trustworthy and steady. He admires those things about him. He even thinks he could learn some things from him. He could gain a bit more patience. A bit more even headedness if he were to spend a bit more time around him.

OOC EXPLORATION:

SHIPS/ANTI-SHIPS: First and foremost I ship Gideon/Chemistry. I am always up for some angst in the ship cause that is honestly my favorite thing. Ships that are just fluff just aren’t much fun. I would like to explore Gideon being involved with a male mainly because in my mind his only serious relationship has been with a girl and I think it would be fun to explore him being in different kinds of relationships.

WHAT PRIVILEGES AND BIASES DOES YOUR CHARACTER HAVE?

As for privileges he definitely has them. As a pureblood male even on the lower end of the pureblood totem pole he never really had to face much prejudice against himself. Though he is a bloodtraitor now and therefore getting more crap from the pureblood society he is still not looked down upon like those of other blood status’. He still has times when he catches himself acting as if he is above those around him and often it is pointed out to him. He does his best to fix it when it is pointed out to him but habits are hard to break. He is also a bit sexist. He believes men should be out on the battlefield but the thought of taking any of them women into a battle with him always gives him pause. He is often the first to suggest they stay and work on something else. He believes they should be in the kitchen or knitting or something though he is trying to work on his views he still hates the thought of any of them going into a fight believing that a man is the best option for any kind of confrontation. He is also not a fan of werewolves. He knows it is an unoriginal thing to think but he just can’t get over his reservations over them. Even if he were to befriends a werewolf and know about them he would still not like them as a whole. He would view that person as an exception and not the rule.

WHAT ARE YOU MOST LOOKING FORWARD TO? I’ve been looking at this roleplay for awhile now and when the one I was in closed down I came back to this one. It seems to have been around for awhile and the members seem like they are nice and accepting of new people. I would love to get into an active roleplay that is around to stay.

PLOT DROP IDEAS: I would love literally anything. I know that is lame but plotting is not my strongest point. I think it would be cool to have them in some kind of battle. I also think on the complete opposite note some kind of big party could be cool. I also love plot drops where people who wouldn’t normally interact are forced together.  

ANYTHING ELSE? In my mind Gideon isn’t the best at fighting and I think it would be pretty cool if he had a teacher or even multiple teachers teaching him different aspects of the fight.

[chrgemeup]

hola.  i’m  frankie  —  she ╱ her,  23  years  old,  &  coming  to  you  live  from  the  cst.  i’ve  been  dying  to  use  the  love  of  my  life  again  and  join  a  decent  family  rp,  so  i’m  w/o  a  doubt  very  excited  to  be  here  !  a  few  tidbits  about  the  “refined”  detective  can  be  found  under  the  read  more.  if  you’d  like  to  plot,  𝑔𝑖𝑣𝑒  𝑡𝘩𝑖𝑠  𝑝𝑜𝑠𝑡  𝑠𝑜𝑚𝑒  𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒  &  i  will  come  crashing  into  your  im’s.  also,  thanks  for  reading  this  sucky  intro  !

••  is  that  jessica  chastain?  no,  that’s  just  richelle  armstrong,  the  45  year  old  cis  female  who  is  a  detective.  some  say  they’re  sarcastic  &  taciturn,  but  their  family  and  friends  will  swear  they’re  incisive  &  open-minded.  when  i  think  of  them,  i  think  of  black  wardrobe,  glass  or  rosé  wine,  dark  circles  under  eyes  hiding  behind  makeup.  i  wonder  if  her  family  knows  that  they  suffer  from  ptsd  after  a  case.  ●●

𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐂𝐒

full name.  richelle  lorraine  armstrong  (  née  o’conner  )

pronunciation.  r  ih  sh  eh  l

meaning of name.  rich  and  powerful  ruler

aliases.  ricki/rickie,  elle,  raine,  rainey

age.  forty-five

date of birth.  february  2nd

astrological sign.  aquarius

place of birth.  aviano,  italy

hometown.  boston,  massachusetts

ethnicity.  white  ╱  so  many  to  list  tbh

nationality.  american

languages spoken.  english,  french,  italian  &  spanish

religion.  agnostic

gender & pronouns.  cis  female  ;  she ╱ her

sexual orientation.  bisexual

romantic orientation.  demiromantic

profession.  detective

current location.  ashcroft,  massachusetts

appearance.  tba

face claim.  jessica  chastain

height.  5′4″  ft  ╱  163  cm

weight.  123  lbs  ╱  56  kg

eye color.  green

hair color.  red

complexion.  tba

build.  fit,  trained

tattoos.  few

piercings.  one  on  each  standard  &  upper  lobe,  +  helix

parents.  henry  o’conner  &  carlie-rose  o’conner  (  née  ramsey  )

siblings.  two  ╱  one  brother  &  one  sister

marital status.  married

spouse.  agent  armstrong

children.  three  ╱  roarke,  daughter,  daughter

pets.  tbd

𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐘

richelle o’conner was born and raised in aviano, italy ( at a u.s. military base ), until the age of 9; she and her siblings were military brats. dad was in the air force while mom was an awarded architect. growing up in italy was different to say the least. she stood out because of her red hair. wasn’t bullied. settled in a lot quicker than her siblings. while attending school, she was both in english & italian classes, and is fluent as hell.

considering the fact that aviano is a small town in italy, there was no doubt that ricki was going to miss it. it was upsetting that she was going to leave her friends behind, ones that she was truly going to miss ( teachers included ). sadly, they didn’t keep in touch.

ricki’s four grandparents would do the best they could to help when they moved back to boston — where the o’conners are originally from. either they would stay with them for weeks, dropping them off at school and/or picking them up afterward, life at home was decent. she will often comment that she was raised by her grandparents.

mom’s job required her to travel; an architect that worked with a company that had clients from all over. however, whenever she was home, she dedicated 100% of her time with her three children. dad would be deployed for months, even years, on end. would rarely see one another, but whenever he came home... they were all relieved !

richelle did NOT go to some fancy ivy league college, decided to be a student at bunker hill community college. wasn’t too far from home, a walking distance. one helluva student. miraculously passed her classes. a bit of a daredevil.

graduated with a bachelor’s degree in criminal justice. started out as a cop, was given a promotion as a detective two years later. ( this might not be how it usually goes. not that i’d know but she’s that good. )

she met her significant other, fell in love, and a few years later, they were husband and wife. never thought she’d get married. oof, still surprised that she is, but they make it work and loves him, of course. ( this could change as soon as MUSE 1 is taken up. )

FAMILY COMES FIRST. KIDS, WORK, HUSBAND — and in that order specifically. she might become the mother of dragons when it comes to her kids. giving birth to three kiddos means: she protec, she attac, but most importantly... you don’t wanna come across her dark side. she’ll go above and beyond for them. husband included.

ALSO, she cares for people to the point where she forgets to take care of herself... and refuses to. the woman needs to chill for a sec and someone should remind her. but her secret is that she suffers from ptsd from a previous case she’s had. richelle’s lacking in the sleeping department. she rarely sleeps now, so she covers those dark circles with makeup. wears makeup almost every time she has a shift and avoids the berating from her co-workers... because they sure as hell can be annoying.

even if she spends the majority of her time at the police station, the detective does give 100% of her time + undivided attention to family and friends. rickie takes work seriously, but not herself. she cleans up good. isn’t afraid to take a challenge ! don’t challenge her, don’t recommend it.

a women with few words. speaks when spoken to, otherwise she’s quiet. a rational woman. shares opinions, is willing to listen to others if nobody will; open-minded. an approachable detective. she’s not scary... i should have just said: easygoing.

i’m gonna stop before i get carried away & i’ll make a biography + stats page for her in due course.

𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐃  𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒

confidante —  this  person  would  know  what’s  going  on  with  richelle.  they’d  be  the  first  &  last  to  know  that  she’s  suffering  from  ptsd  after  closing  a  horrifying  case...  and  bonus  points  if  they  work  at  the  police  station,  too  !

best  friends —  they  were  grew  up  together  in  boston  (  or  have  known  each  other  since  living  in  ashcroft  ).  richelle  isn’t  your  typical  gossiper  but  will  give  y/m  an  ear.  she’ll  try,  but  no  promises.

honestly,  give  me  everything  and  anything  you  could  possibly  think  of.  i’m  open  for  anything  !  don’t  be  afraid  to  share  your  ideas  w/  me.  the  only  2  i  could  think  of.  shame.

[jinships-ideas]

BTS Run 40 - The Jin Harem

Happy (Lunar) New Year! 

(I posted this on Valentine’s / Single Awareness Day though...)

My prediction: This post won’t be that long since I didn’t notice too many harem moments. Let’s see if I’m wrong like always :D

Let’s Get It~

We start off this lunar new year with Yoonjin reaching for their face at the same time

A study on mirroring: it’s been noted that mirroring occurs when A is looking at B and is subconsciously influenced by their actions.

A study on mirroring: it’s also been said that mirroring tends to occur when A is interested in B

A & B = Yoonjin

I wonder who’s got Jinnie’s eyes on them?

Whoever that is, they are a lucky man

Ft. Tiny looking JK

Ft. Magical Boy Chim looking huge in comparison to Jk and Jin

Jk CLEARLY looking at Jinnie as he does the old spread and hug

He wants those worldwide shoulders and he wants it bad

I believe I can fly~  I believe I can touch those shoulders I think about him every night and day Spread my wings and touch away~

I spy with my pretty eyes, a fineass looking man

How about 3?

Jin’s habit of being more interested in knowing someone else’s team is once again present in this episode.

ft. Tol Jin and Smol Yoongs

I LOVE ME SOME HEIGHT DIFFERENCE

Tae looks like a giant though

Seems like yoongs is interested to know which Team Jinnie is in~

LOVE TRIANGLE TIME!!!

Yoongs and Tae collectively reaching out for Jinnie!!!

Our Worldwide handsome-him is so desirable

Jk: *pines from the back* That should be me *channels inner Justin Bieber Sunbae-nim Joonie: Bitch, HANDS OFF Chim: These Punks can’t go around touching what’s mine like that! Hobi: NUH UH. FILTHY HANDS AWAY FROM HIM ASSHOLES Tae: Let me just cop a feel of that chest  Yoongs: Ooooh his skin feels so soft!

Our man has got all the men

Tae: *GASP* HE TOUCHED ME!!!

Congrats Tae!

HE TOUCHED YOU!!!

Also, Tae just naturally went from the side to the middle, to beside Jin huh?

Tae whispers something to Jin that is muted in the episode

Please look at how his leg is lifted

Isn’t that what anime girls do when they are love struck?

I mean... anyone would be when beside Jin...

JK: I’m so done with your shit. Trying to get Jin’s attention by being all excessive. I’m SO DONE. Hobi: I looked so damn cool! Hyung must think that too! Jin: Watch me win this punk in rock-paper-scissors like the RPS God I am

Hobi reaching out to stroke Jin’s face

FFS HOBI! NOT IN FRONT Of THE CAMERAS!!! 

(Bless you our sweet sweet sunshine)

Tae reaching out to caress Jin’s arm

Tae: Back off bitch, don’t touch what’s not yours Yoongs: Oh yeah, do your ritual for when you are about to get smacked the fck up JK: How dare they touch MY hyung?! ONLY I CAN TOUCH HIM SO SHAMELESSLY IN FRONT OF ALL THE CAMERAS! NJ: *Save Me Plays in his head* I’m with a bunch of fools. Jin Hyung OBVIOUSLY only wants me Chim: All these losers vying for Jin-hyung when I’VE got his heart. Touch him while you have hands losers.

Top 10 anime betrayals

JK: Why does this hurt so much...yet feel so hot?

JK falling into the depths of shipping hell that is 2Seok

Welcome Jk, you shall NVR escape the 2Seok world

JK: Really? In front of my salad? Chim: UNACCEPTABLE! *stomps his feet cutely* Joon: OH YES! FRONT VIEW!!! Hobi: IS HE GoInG TO KISS ME?!! Jin: You have some dirt... what? Why are you all looking at me like that?

Jin WOULD be that guy that leans in super close to you, giving off the ‘action-time’ vibe and whispers: you’ve got some crumbs on your face... can I eat them?

DAMN IT JIN!

Tae- the overly clingy boyfriend that Jin Loves to pamper

SHOWER HIM WITH ALL THE LOVE AND SKINSHIP!!!

Also, I’m quite sure Jin only won RPS because Tae whispered to him what to throw out before the game commenced

Teamwork Makes the Dream Work

Taejin makes me feel things

Yoonjin cuties sitting in the back watching the others

They look like they are Bangtan’s Guardians

OR

They got time-out for being too indecent 

Jinkook are DEFINITELY the couple that does weird things 

They would also be the couple to start trends

Ok...I have a confession to make... This pic is NOT the same as the previous one. 

The previous one is edited because they were sitting much further apart and my extra ass when to edit it to make them sit closer

BUT DAMN THAT WAS UNNECESSARY OF ME

Because this pic here is NOT edited

which means 1 of them moved to sit closer to the other!!!

Yoonjin be here trying my heart

I JUST HAD TO OK?!

WHO CAN RESIST MEMEKOOK?!!

NO ONE

2 Oldest MY ASS

THEY ARE SUCH KIDS

The way Yoongi sits with his feet pointing inwards makes him look tinier and cuter than he already is!!!

*clutches heart*

Sha la la la la la My oh my Looks like the boy's too shy Ain't gonna kiss his love  

The (Magical) Boy settles for a teasing chin stroke instead!

The Joy on Chim’s face as Jin does his Body Wave

Joonie is also very amused

Jin succeeds in making 2 men fall deeper in love with him

????

Jin???

Dafuq??

Chim looking at him like nothing is wrong though...

So many dirty things I can insert here...

SO DAMN MANY

Jin on his knees = A++

I wonder who is the lucky person who gets to enjoy this sight...

( ͡° ͜�� ͡°)

BANGTAN OUT OF CONTEXT 

Send this photo to all of your friends who are non-bts fans (difficult to find but I know there are some out there)

offer NO explanation

Ft. Yoonjin mirrors

Ft. Perky Ass Hobi

(I low key think he maintained that position so Jin could see his booty

Ft. Camera Man Tae Tae

(He would do a much much better job than those lackluster award show ones)

Ft. Jk and Joon who are super respectful

Hobi only did this so he could get up close and personal with Jinnie~

WHO WOULDN’T?

Jk and Joonie looking on in the bg

envious

Chim’s smile as he calls out for Jin

(Without honorifics, mind you, such a brat but he’s Jin’s brat)

Jinnie looking at Chim like he is the most marvelous thing ever

(He is)

Hobi snapping Pics of Jin AGAIN

RELEASE THE PICS HOBI!!

다시 run run run 

Jinnie walks

Jinnie runs

Jinnie falls to the groud

All for Chim

The outfits and poses remind me of Avatar...

CUTIES!!!

This angle makes it look like Chim is petting Jinnie

Too bad Chim was just adjusting the tape on the floor

No on-screen petting from Jinmin but who knows what goes on behind the scenes?

They aren’t called BTS for nothing

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Chim only has eyes for Jin during this game~

Even as his hat fell, he was still focused on looking at Jin

:’)

CHIM WAS ABOUT TO CARESS JIN’S FACE

DAMN IT PD-nim!!!

WHY DID YOU HAVE TO EXPOSE TAE’S ASS RIGHT AT THIS MOMENT?!

WE ALMOST GOT CHIM CARESSING JIN’S FACE

T^T

The Pd-nim probably wants Jin all to himself

>:(

Hobi: Damn he smooth Chim: Me Gusta :D Jin: Admire my beauty Yoongs: Imma ninja my ass there to smack a little bird

(the bird is Chim)

This looks like an overly dramatic play acted out by Chim and Jin

*flashback to the utter mess that was Gayo track 14*

WHY ARE THEY LIKE THIS?!!

JUST TOUCH HIM ALREADY FOR ALL OUR SAKE!

Such a dramatic pair they are

Fcking bubs

(I use to do this whenever I said bye to one of my friends like 7 years ago... Jinmin are basically kids)

Yoongi praising Jin though!!!

ME LIKES THAT A LOT

PRAISE JIN MORE PEOPLE

FFS JUST TOUCH ALREADY 

STOP WITH THIS STAR-CROSSED LOVERS BS

Also, Chim causally touching Jin’s sleeve~

I’M SO FCKING DONE WITH JINMIN

YOU TEASE!

Also, this looks like those kung fu movies where Jin is Chim’s master (teacher... FFS Y'all are dirty)

(It’s ok. I’m dirty too :>)

Chim: *flirts aggressively* Jin: *being beautiful aggressively* Yoongs: *wants to fight Chim aggressively* Tae: *wants to charge at Jin for a backhug aggressively*

Chim complaining about how Jinnie seems to be getting further away from him...

Double meaning much?

STOP FLIRTING YOU TWO!!!

(Please NVR stop)

Chim really only has eyes for Jinnie~

LOOK AT HIS SMIRK 

CHIM YOU LITTLE PUNK

Chim imitating Jin’s pose

He really loves his hyung huh?

???

!!!

Finger hearts from HeartMan Jin for Magical Boy Chim!!!

Seriously... Jinmin’s love is just overflowing

I LOVE IT

LOOK HOW HAPPY CHIM IS !!!

LOOK HOW HAPPY JIN IS !!!

JINMIN IS FLYING 

Hobi & Jk & Joonie:  내가 웃는게 웃는게  아니야 (I’m not really laughing)

Yoonjin sticking together like glue when there’s plenty of space

Also, magically no height difference?

Could Yoongs be a Magical Boy too?

Jin’s hand on Yoongs’ shoulder 

*ugly sobs*

Chim also praises Jin’s skills at playing the game after this...

Have they played this before??

How TF does Chim know Jin is very good at Flopping down onto a mattress to create a gust?

HMMM HOW? I WONDER. HMMM

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Tae: You see this fist? It’s flying right to your face Jin: I have a pretty fist too! Yoongs: Try me bitch Chim: I don’t want to see this. Not in front of my salad

Tae helping Jin to get the clothes off

I wonder if he helps him a lot

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Cutie Tae showing off to Jin that they all got 22

(Note: 22 is kinda a thing for couples in South Korea. Couples have something called a ‘22 Day’ <two-two day> that they celebrate.)

Jin teasing Joonie for his failed attempt at the game

Namjin is definitely that couple that teases each other a shitton

NOT Jin Harem related but... WTF was Hobi doing? He touched the red clothes and recoiled at it?

Did he also punch Joonie slightly as he was walking by???

I’m genuinely curious

The sound that escaped Jin was so fcking cute??

Look at how Tae and Chim were so confused at Jin’s result!

They really thought Jin should have gotten more points!

Jin himself is confused af too 

CANDLES YOU SUCK!

Jin’s eyes were shaking as they were counting cos he was worried they would lose because of him 

XD

Emperor Tae demands a bow of apology from Jin

AND HE OBLIGES!!!

TAEJIN ARE SUCH CUTIES

Taejin kids are play-fighting with sticks and while the others are filming for the episode

WHY ARE THEY SO CUTE?!

Jin being impressed at Chim’s skill

Ways to win Jinnie’s heart: Be skillful at throwing things into a thin cannister

Jin also immediately cheers for Yoongs after this

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

This is Jin has Tae gets the second score consecutively

I sense the birth of a new meme

He looked like such a brat as he threw the slinkie

Look at him as he gets nagged by Yoongs

SUCH A CHILD

Our NICE AND KIND AND GOOD LOOKING CHILD

Cheerleader Yoongs cheering for his Favourite Hyung

Jk joined in the cheer despite Jin being on a different team!!!

(He could also just be scratching his head with the toy...but he said ‘hey hey hey’)

Yoongs cheering for Jin wholeheartedly

Only to be chided by Jin for distrubing his concentration

JIN YOU LITTLE SHIT

HOW DARE YOU NAG YOONGS FOR CHEERING YOU ON LIKE A SUPPORTIVE BOYFRIEND

I WILL FIGHT YOU JIN

(ง •̀_•́)ง

Yoongi just submissively keeps quiet

Blame your own ass if Yoongi NVR chhers for you again Jinne 

>:(

(No i’m kidding. I love naggy Jin and how he is the only one Yoongi is submissive to)

Taejin bubs are high-fiving when their opponent scored 

XD

I guess they are keeping their morale up???

Tae: *looks cool by succeeding at the game* Jin: *Waay too impressed*

JK: *looks smug AF for succeeding at the game* Jin: *again, waaay too impressed*

Tae: *I won’t lose to you punk* *proceeds to do it again and impress Jin once again*

Tae: You have just been served. You are very welcome *bows*

Jin teasing JK for his failed attempt at looking cool

He looked plenty cool already ok?

LET THE BOY LIVE

Jin: *fails and tries to get Hobi to use his method (which sucks) so he fails too* Hobi: *falls for it*

HOBI YOU ARE WHIPPED

Jimin: *enjoys the beauty and grace that is Kim Seok Jin* Yoongs: Extra points to hyung for beauty! And for existing! Jk: That’s my hyung! He’s MY hyung!! Joon: *Excited like the puppy he is* Tae: *Impressed* Hobi: *I’m standing next to him!!

Tae manages to get a high-five from Jinnie for succeeding~

Ace of the Jin team: Tae

Jinkook who has no idea what to write

Ft. a shoe

They keep becoming more similar as the days pass...

All members either clapped immediately/responded verbally to Jin’s suggestion of clapping for everyone!

Jk... don’t just look at Jin when you speak...

I know it;s hard to look away from beauty

But... your bais and love are showing too much!

He actually turns to look at Jin as he says: 

Let’s stay by each other forever from now on 

*Ugly sobs*

The 3 different stages of being bored

Jin: Slightly bored Yoongs: Bored Tae: Borderline falling asleep

Listen to Chim’s pretty words DAMN IT

Joonie. GET A HINT

Give the boy some food

That’s what you got to do to win his heart you fool!

Chim: *smirks* And that, folks, is how I got my boyfriend

Jk complains about how there’s no dumplings

He’s probably used to the one Jin makes where there is always dumplings

:’)

Chim and Tae praising Jin’s cooking, wanting the rest of the world to know only they’ve tried Jin’s cooking

Aww so clueless Joon DID give his food to Jin

:’)

Ah-Hope <아홉> you guys enjoyed~

Until Next time~

[ghostliied]

*just... slowly rolls in here. hi*

( ✦ ✦ — Let me validate people ; accepting ✦ ✦ ✦ ) 

My Opinion on;

Character in general: *cracks knuckles* I hate green. Kay done. No but really. Green for me has definitely been one of those muses where I either hate him or love him. And allow me to give you my reasoning for this. in MY HC that I have for MY Red, Green is an asshole to Red. He was a bully. He always compared himself to Red and legit put so much pressure on him that Red couldn’t take it anymore. He allowed Green to push at him and constantly berate and demean him. Green was the reason why Red – MY RED – hated his life so much. As said before, Red’s mother cared for him. He was happy in his home – GRANTED THAT HE HATED HIS FATHER. And later on, he went on to hate Giovanni due to the fact that the man just up and left, but My red holds no kind of emotional pain and resentment towards anybody like he does with Green. And it isn’t so much that he HATES Green, its more along the lines that he hates himself for creating just a terrible relationship with Green. And I only say this because it brings me back to the idea that Green was AN ASSHOLE for not understanding how Red felt. Like how DARE he be so blind. How DARE he be a prick to him. He never really was understanding until AFTER the fact. but by then it was already too late. The damage had been done. and as much as I appreciate the fact that Green tries to repair and mend the relationship, he still destroyed Red mentally. And honestly, as much as I appreciate some good angst, I just didn’t like his attitude about it. HE complained nonstop, he always tried to one up others, and he was so incredibly bullheaded that he didn’t take time to realise. Now, moving on from that and from Red and Green’s relationship. I also never quite understood Green ANYWAY. like I would like to think that I can be quite adaptable in regards to what muses I write. I write assholey muses – jesus look at Hugh. I write characters that have very little care about others. But what I never understood about Green was why is he so determined to one up ONE SINGLE PERSON. aside from the fact that red has a prodigy complex, green should have held nothing against him. Or at least try to communicate with Red about his feelings. then again. there are also things that I actually DO like about Green too. Like??? Green is one of those characters that I love and hate at the same time. But he’’s so complex that I sometimes don’t understand HOW you RP as him. Like he’s nice right? when he can be… but he’s rude too??? like??? dude you are so confusing. So yea. I end my random bashing with a “IDK how to feel about Green because I am so lost with him, please help me understand him. thanks.”

How they play them: HHHHHHH, I know that you are gonna leave some things but hfsljkdlhfd I loved your Green when I was on my Red. Like bruh. the story was absolutely marvellous. I genuinely go back and read some of them and I cry??? like I don’t think I can value another Green in the same way I do with you. and I’m gonna be honest, I REALLY loved the old one so much… The story was beautiful and tragic. the interactions we had were adsjkfhldhbnasdf When you came to me a while ago introducing this Green I was like wait wait.. what?? and I know i knwo, I’ll stop talking about it, but I kind of have a hard time relating your green now. IDK why, maybe it’s not the same. and I know each story will never be the same. but I just can’t help but to think maybe its just cause I fell in love with your interpretation so much that I had an expectation you know?? there aren’t many Greens that I personally know of that I could kinda actually understand as a character concept. and even now, I struggle to understand yours now as he is, but that’s probably because of the history we have together. Just… Give me time alright? We should talk about the muses sometime privately though. Maybe once we get the ball rolling we can have what we used to have yea? and again, I don’t mean it in any rude way, I do actually love all of your muse’s stories its just that sometimes it takes a while for me brain to click.

The Mun: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  AHAHAHAHAHA sen!!! Tea on wheels!!!! yes!!! omfg you are such a sweetheart. Like please. You give me life. You let me go on rants. You listen to me go on and on about wanting to cut people. You and Gemi and I’m sure Isa is silently watching lololol Like please. I know that from all of us, you and I are relatively new – I have known Gemi for YEARS. and Isa the same. But like.. regardless of that, It feels like we’ve known each other for just the same amount of time. You listen. You fangirl with me. you are such a great friend. and I know that I can count on you to help whenever I need it because you’re just always there. And I really REALLY do appreciate it. And I know sometimes I don’t feel like talking. Or I’m in a mood, but you are just so understanding about it. You’re patient. and what I really like is that it doesn’t matter how much time has passed, we can go for days, weeks, MONTHS without talking but when we come back it’s just picked right back up. and seriously. I know I bitch and complain all the time. But I hope that you know that iF ANYTHING and I swear ANYTHING comes up and you need to talk, or vent, I’m here for you. Just like you are for me. You KNOW that I would go mama bear with you just like you do for me. because we are here and in this together. We cut people together XD also thank you for dealing with my explosive and/or savage moments though. I do actaully love to come to you and tell you about my roastings I have with people.

Do I:

RP with them: Yes I have. and am currently. I’ll eventually get to that thread… EVENTUALLY…

Want to RP with them: Of course. My mood/motivation might not be there at the moment but that doesn’t mean anything. Like plz. You know me, when I RP and publish threads, I literally write essays for you.

What is my;

Overall Opinion: DEN OUT OF DEN GOOD SHIT RIGHT HERE. would recommend 110% of the time. plox. My red and Sen’s Green honestly was a good canon relationship :’) would do it again, no regrets.

**Note: Mun’s answer are all to be completely honest. Don’t send url if you don’t want brutal honesty

[the-elf-mahat]

October Positivity

Supposed to be an ask meme but I’m doing ‘em all and you can’t stop meeeeeee!

Under the cut though because things got long and effusive.

Vampire: Tag someone of whom you've been a longtime fan. @zaderick! We haven’t interacted much but I think you’re a phenomenal writer and your ship with @leywalker-starsworn gives me so much life and inspiration. Also PIRATES. Mahat would absolutely be poking around the Black Maw looking for work if Coldwall wasn’t a thing. Zaderick’s a fantastic character; keep on doin’ you, pls.

Shoutout to @spencerdarthellin, who DOESN’T POST ENOUGH but when he does holy hell is it good. I want to read a novel you write someday, man.

Werewolf: Tag someone who is one-in-a-million and comes through when you need them. @addie-the-pirate WHY ARE YOU SO WONDERFUL OMG. It’s weird. Stahp. (only don’t stahp I love it and I love you frand).

Fairy: Tag someone who you see as an asset to the community at large. @clothespanda! You were throwing yourself into making good stuff happen for the guild even before you were an officer and you’ve only doubled down since. I really respect and admire your ability to bring people together and make neat stuff happen.

@thegreatnyehehe is a server treasure and we don’t deserve them.

Jackalope: Tag someone who picked you up when you were down. @jebweaver NEVER CHECKS HIS TUMBLR NOTIFICATIONS but w/e. When I joined Coldwall a year ago I hadn’t roleplayed as Mahat in forever, and she and I were both kinda hesitant and nervous about being around new people. You took the time to get to know ‘Hat, which helped me get to know her again, and I appreciate that enormously. Marc and ‘Hat are a couple of sassmouth shady cinnamon rolls and I love their friendship. Thanks for all the crime, nerd.

Phoenix: Tag someone who is a bright light on your dash. @rask-the-rogue is a beautiful human being and scary-talented like woah. I get excited honestly whenever I see you post something, but especially for your stories and art. You are such a lovely, genuine, warm presence, and Rask is such a delightful character in any medium. I know we both get pretty busy with real life, but I hope we get to keep writing together for a long time to come!

Banshee: Tag someone who has looked out for you. @oil-and-firebrand, thank you so much for checking in on me, and for engaging with me and ‘Hat even when we vanish off the face of Azeroth for a while. It means a lot to me. Also you’re an awesome RPer and I wanna do more stuff with you!

@addressroleplays I got your back boo, and I know you got mine. <3 Thanks for being my friend!

Griffin: Tag someone whose friendship for you is priceless. @eldricceverton, I’m really glad ‘Hat threatened Wolf with a knife that one time! It was the beginning of a beautiful friendship, IC and OOC. You’ve been so great and encouraging to talk to when I needed it. I’m a huge fan of the way you write Wolf and I have fuuun plotting with you. Probably almost as much fun as ‘Hat and Wolf have kicking each other’s teeth in at the fighting pit! Almost.

Minotaur: Tag someone who you see as a leader in some way. @enigmatic-elegance! The best guild leader money can buy (btw I bought you in a bitcoin auction a while back sooooo expecting you at my house later, wear the fireman hat). No but seriously you’re straight up amazing and I have no idea how you do half the stuff you do (friend stuff! guild stuff! fire stuff! EMT stuff! writing stuff! website stuff! RP stuff!) but I suspect witchcraft and the Inquisition has been notified.

Hellhound: Tag someone who you see as a guardian or protector in some way. @grannyshanny she attac she protec she stronk. You take care of your friends and I love it. Whether via copious salt directed at the enemies or just being a digital shoulder to cry on, you’re my favorite mama bear (in a gay way). I’m so glad our characters get to be family.

Unicorn: Tag someone who is So Good, So Pure™ @soapiewhitacre PLS ACCEPT MY LOVE for you it is both eternal and constant. You are the human personification of a hug and I feel lucky to get to spend time with you, IC or OOC.

@xerxes-jasper, I love how you play your characters and how willing you are to roll with the punches to make a good story, even when it gets Xerxes thrown in a lake. :D Xerxes is a Precious Baboo and a Good Spoop Son, and ‘Hat rolls her eye at his antics sometimes but trust me behind the keyboard I am giggling like a fiend. 

Mermaid: Tag someone who is a positive influence on you. @thebattlesheep is best sheep. You make the world brighter and happier wherever you appear. It’s a scientific fact about sheeps. Thank you for being your gorgeous self and letting me, a hat, sit on your head all the time. It’s comfy!

Bigfoot: Tag someone who seems bigger than life. @percy-dewdancer! I really hope I get to RP with you someday in game, I enjoy your writing and Percy as a character vastly. I don’t know if it’ll ever happen since as far as I can tell there’s plenty of other folks ahead of me in line, and ‘Hat doesn’t exactly go out of her way to chat up law enforcement (though since he’s not City Guard anymore WHO KNOWS, she’s less spooked by military types than cops). Either way I’ll be over here gently stalking your posts and admiring your writing skill, tenacity, leadership, and cursing vocabulary; don’t mind me.

Dragon: Tag someone who you see as really dedicated to their muse. @caterinaprimrose! HI WE’VE NEVER MET INGAME but I’m super into your aesthetic posts and in awe of your dedication and respect for a type of character that usually gets neither. Caterina is a deeply human, fleshed-out character with a shallow sparkly surface and you portray all her facets so, so well. I hope she finds happiness again, I’m rooting for her!

@high-inquisitor, you and Archelaos are pretty much the definition of dedication to my mind; he goes through a lot of changes, but you always somehow manage to keep him himself. He’s a great character who fills a lot of roles to a lot of different people, and you play him with a determination and creativity that I really admire. We don’t RP much (I might be low-key intimidated by you shhhh), but I always enjoy reading your writing when it shows up on my feed, and think your aesthetic is killer. 

That’s enough positivity for one day NOW OFF TO BURN DOWN AN ORPHANAGE.

[hotcocosharing]

Glory Days Part 20 (IM RP AU- Shun & Midi)

Part 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8 / 9 / 10 / 11 / 12 / 13 / 14 / 15 / 16 / 17 / 18 / 19

❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥

Midori’s POV Flopping down on the couch rather ungracefully with a sigh, I utter a few half words beneath my breath and drop my phone into the space between myself and the boy I’ve just invited in. Toshiaki has this sort of expectant look in his eyes as if he’s waiting for clarification on something and whilst I could be a bitch and withhold information from him; when his shoulders drop and his gaze wanders around the room like an injured dog, pathetically my lips part and the talking seems to slip out unintentionally. “Relax; Eri just called and I’m sure in a few minutes she’ll be here.” It’s an uncomfortable silence that casts over us and I fold my legs beneath me; leaning across to reach over and scoop up the remote from the coffee table to turn the tv on - from the corner of my eye, noticing that Toshi’s already moving to stand and grab at his wrist almost losing my balance and falling off the couch to pull him back down and get him to remain seated. “Listen – I know that as a decent human being I probably didn’t leave you with the greatest impression of me the other day but I just wanted to say I was sorry. It was out of line for me to snap the way I did and… neither you nor Eriko deserved it.” Watching as the older guy purses his lips together in a thin line and rubs the back of his neck nervously, I wait patiently hoping that he’ll say something to keep the conversation going yet when nothing is mentioned, I almost feel obliged to have the sound of my own voice droan on a little longer. “You’re a nice guy Toshi, maybe even a little too nice in some respects and I hope I’m not over stepping the line by saying this but if a romantic relationship is what you’re after with Eri I don’t think that, right now; with what she’s going through and with how polar opposite you both are in regards to expectations and hopes and aspirations that things will work. I mean, I adore Eri – but..”, I snap my fingers around in the air trying to find the right words to say that he’s seemingly been hanging onto for the last minute, “… I don’t think you should get your hopes up or expect anything from her. For anything to work she’s going to have to mature a little and let go of a lifestyle she’s clinging onto that I don’t think she’s quite ready for.” A knock at the door grabs my attention and forces me to pause before I can say anything else. Excusing myself from where I sit, I hop up; rushing over to answer when the girl who has been waiting on the otherside barges in. “UGHHHHH! YOU WON’T BELIEVE WHAT MY DAD IS UP TO NOW - SERIOUSLYYY!” Attempting to catch Eri and put a hand over her mouth so that she can’t blurt out anything she’d later regret; with a half fleet of panic stirring inside me, I finally catch up to her after she’s stopped, frozen; dead in her tracks when she see’s the company I’ve had waiting with me on the couch. “….Toshi, what are you doing here?”, my best friend asks a little confused. Perhaps I should have mentioned that he was here whilst on the phone rather than just telling her I was at the room and waiting for her to drop by for icecream. Before a single word can be said by either of them; I cut in, moving to physically stand between them. “I um.. I think Toshi that you should leave. Go grab lunch or a drink or something and; let us girls talk for just a bit.” Whilst he’s unable to say a thing in response; it’s a nod that indicates he’s understood the subtle meaning behind what I’ve suggested and yet things just happen to escalate when another knock at the door is heard. This time Eri answering and I bite my tongue at the ridiculous comment that I hear. “I need to have sex with you so we could both move on. If Toshi is your concern, don’t worry I won’t tell anyone. It will be our little secret.” Toshiaki’s POV What Midori has said makes sense yet a part of me doesn’t entirely want the words and their practicality and truth to sink in. That in the lightest of terms would almost declare defeat instead of victory and I’m not sure if I’m ready. The next 5 minutes flash by like a blur; I’m about to ask her for an honest opinion about something when there’s knock after knock at the door which throws me completely. Eriko’s father is back? Already? He was only here yesterday. What does this guy honestly expect of her? No one is about to turn their life around in a few hours. Perhaps I shouldn’t have been so nice towards the guy and stood my ground a little firmer. These thoughts though come to a bitter and not so sweet end at the sound of the friend I’ve known for years dropping a bombshell about some desperate sick sexual fantasy he can’t get out of his head. Fucking hell Yukihisa, Eri’s not just some toy you can pick up whenever you feel like it and play with. The look we exchange is part confused, part smug, part standoffish and a whole lot of aggravation as I speak up and cut off Midori’s next suggestion which sounds like a whisper behind me. “Eri and I are going to leave for a while - just.. both of you; give her space–.” “There’s no need”, I point out with a huff, pushing my sleeves up a little, “…you girls stay here. Maki and I need to sort out something.” Not another word is said as I grab the man who’s suppose to be my friend by the collar and drag him down the hall into the stair well; the roughness of this all causing him to lose his footing and stumble down a few steps which I’m happy to use to my advantage and help me shove him up against a wall; hands gripping at his shirt to throw him straight up against a corner. “WHAT THE FUCK MAN?” I hardly ever raise my voice; but this has seriously gotten beneath my skin. Midori���s POV This could not and should not be happening - so much for Eri moving out in the hopes that drama wasn’t going to follow or anything as such. Grabbing my purse and a book off my desk, I take her hand; grab some tissues off the kitchen counter incase Eri feels the need to shed some tears later and leave. “I know of the perfect cafe where us girls can just talk and eat and be left alone in peace but really quickly - on the way there I need to drop this back into the library.”

Eriko’s POV 

Finally having gotten myself a little more comfortable back at the dorm to meet with Midi where we could lay on our couch and eat all the ice cream in the world, cursing every man involved before crying our eyes out from some hopeless romcom until we fall sleep and wake up to a brand new day but no, it’s all crushed the moment I step inside to see Toshiaki follow by an absurd Maki knocking our door with a ridiculous request- so much for his ego and thankfully the boys decide to take it outside so we could have the place back to ourselves for a short ten minutes which is enough for Midz to summarize her problem with Shunichiro- two stubborn kids dancing around the line, waiting for one another to confess. Their case is an easy one, they simply need a little push. At least they don’t attract drama like I do, causing friends to turn on each other, being unnecessary rival- I have officially become one of those manipulative bitches who boss her love puppies around and to realize how close I’m in becoming my own mother-my absolute nightmare that I indeed need some serious advice. Given how easy it is for book worm Midi to get distracted whenever she’s in a library, I take the liberty and return the book for her. A tall and familiar figure comes to view- my chocie of consultant. Shunichiro'a POV Study- staying in the dorm sours my mood and only force me to check my phone every five minutes so studying in the library turns out to be rather productive, with the progress I’ve made Maki will be happy to drag me to more parties or many more social events which makes no difference to me. Feeling a light tap on my shoulder, I pull out my earphone to see a head tilting to one side with the kind of smile that could get away with murder. Fortunately, I know better and have a more peculiar taste unlike most guys who would read this as a sign and fall for her. “Eriko?” “Hey good looking!” Gesturing my index finger to remind the trouble maker to be quiet, I direct her outside the balcony- time for a cigarette break. This girl does not shut up but after managing to fill me everything’s that happened within the last 72 hours, she sincerely wants to make a difference. “There’s nothing to sleep around if that’s your choice, as long as you are happy and no one’s hurt. Be up front and honest about it. Tell Maki it’s not going to happen; tell Toshi your feelings and your fears, communication is key I would say.”

I sigh and lean back against the railing, almost laugh at my own words, giving someone advice that I have totally ignored myself. “You’re a genius! I would kiss you as thank you but that would be inappropriate and misleading so I’m going to give you a biggg hug!!” After squeezing me in for a few good seconds, Eriko releases me with a grin spreading on her cheeky face, “Communication is key, remember! Tell her how you feel!” Great - of course I turn around to see the one person who’s been occupying my mind and battling in my head on what to do next.

[sophiehadder-blog]

☑: An OTP with your Muse in it (if you have any).☒: A NOTP with your Muse in it (if you have any).☁: Favorite part of RPing.✉: Any RPers the Mun admires and the talent one that got cut off lmao

☑: An OTP with your Muse in it (if you have any)

God i am the worst for these i just seek validation and love

Sophie: gOD uh sophink tbh, sophink all the fucking way, im such a whore for it i cant stop

Peg: peg doesn’t need anyone hahahahahapegandwoodyhahahahah um but also peg and susan? like in a weird copmlicated way that im not sure would ever work out but a guy can dream

Jenny: christ man idek. jenny is too angsty and independant for otps rn

Simon: um simonxHappiness and mental stability? SimonxViolin 

Theo: wow i hate myself for loving critters so much cause i just cant hurt bam like that? also Thottie? i love so much? but i shouldnt? ummm Theo x The good word of the lord 

Remy: IDFK man 

☒: A NOTP with your Muse in it (if you have any).

Sophie: um nah, i dont think so tbh, i’d throw her at anyone if they could give her some glimpse of happiness 

Peg: greece lightning, nuff said

Jenny: gingersnap lol, anyone who’s weirdly older than her 

Simon: iiiiimmm not sure honestly

Theo: nah i have 0 standards when it comes to him.

Remy: RemyxAlfredo is the only thing i physically could not

☁: Favorite part of RPing.

i love rp for the exact same reason that i love acting and singing i just fucking love telling stories and becoming other people- like, im really fucking insecure on so many levels? and? so this is a great outlet for me to just,, not,, be,, me,, which is always ideal haha 

✉: Any RPers the Mun admires 

fuck all of you jk jk 

god whERE TO BEGIN 

PET: i said it in my questionnaire and i’ll fuckin say it again now pet has such a fucking great grasp of mouvement and character and litterally everytime we do anything together im always blown away by just how like- cohesive? is that the right word? awesome, maybe? professional? idek- how well everything fits together. everything she does is so well done that its like kind of intimidating sometimes- but only in all the good ways

J: my god J what would i do without her- she is always there to entertain my whims and even when we come up with the stupidest shit it always turns out really well??? and i can’t help but think thats because of her fucking beautiful characters and her astounding reach and my god girl god bless u seriously. i also love j cause i know i can always rely on her, like no matter what she’s got an idea or a character who’s game for something or a witty response and its the best thing

SILV: silv is great, obviously, and i love her humour- like on more than one occasion i’ve found myself laughing out loud at things she’s written and every. single. fucking. time. i. reread. it. happens. again. she’s got that charm that just makes all of her characters feel so ALIVE theY BREATHE ON THE SCREEN and its a fucking beautiful thing to see. i want to be best friends with all of them but i will also settle for silv though its not settling, really

KATIE: her characters just have such a clear and strong voice in everything that she does? like between lottie and dodger and celia and aquata you have 4 crazy different people that katie manages to make iconic and deep in every single way and i admire that a lot- also what a fuckin penchant for drama. i lIVE everytime something big happens. Celia turning someone into stone? HELL YEAH. dodger getting in a fight? heLL YEAH. Lottie arguing with people- hell, fucking, yeah.. 

FAITH: wow i love faith so much u guys its not even funny, i just have such deep deep admiration for her devotion to a single character and how much fuCKING HEART she pours into woody- he’s so beautifully unique and while he’s his own person and the product of faith’s creation he is also the echo of his disney counterpart and whenever i get whiff of that from her writing it is just the fucking coolest thing. also just shoutout to faith for being so chill and for going along with my crazy plans, thank you. thank you. 

and god there’s so many more but i’ve already spent wayy too long on this i LOVE U ALL I ADMIRE U ALL TEACH ME YOUR WAYS

And the talent other than rp one

uuhhh u all know i do the singing thing, thats my thing. ummmm i can play the harmonica sometimes. uuuuuuhhh... well i mean i speak french, if that... counts... idfk man

[deathishauntedbyhumans]

I Don’t Want to Fall

TW: Panic attacks, suicide mentions, self-harm, abuse

Instead of texting a suicide hotline, Lance texts Keith, opening a door to a new life that he never could have possibly imagined. This was a... really good rp. A lot of emotion, a lot of angst. 

Stranger: {TW: Mentions of Suicide, Can be wrong Number} 
 Hey, is this the suicide text line? LM 
I've been hesitant to text in, but I need someone tonight. LM

You: [wrong number] What's going on?

Stranger: {...} I recognize this number. Who is this. LM

You: [...] Does it matter? You said you needed someone. I'm someone.

Stranger: It matters who it is. I know this number, it's not the one I meant. LM

You: [...] It's Keith. KK

Stranger: Fuck. LM

You: Look, I know you don't like me, but if you need to talk, you can. KK Those text hotlines aren't actually always that helpful. KK

Stranger: They have been before. LM And I don't dislike you, I just...Don't want you telling... LM

You: You must have better luck than I do, then. KK I'm not that big of a dick. I know that some things are sacred. KK

Stranger: No, they just call me a selfish sonofabitch for considering and guilt trip me out of it. LM And if you tell someone, cut you. LM

You: Yeah. That's what I meant about the whole "not that helpful" thing. KK I won't tell if you won't. KK

Stranger: Not like I have anyone to tell. LM

You: You have more friends than I do. KK

Stranger: Oh, not anymore I don't. LM

You: What do you mean? KK

Stranger: I fucked that up too. LM

You: I find it hard to believe that you could fuck that up. You and that other guy... whathisface, I don't remember. You two are almost literally joined at the hip. KK

Stranger: Hunk? Yeah, no, I ruined it. LM

You: How in the hell did you manage that? KK

Stranger: Told him I was using him, called him some horrible shit. I was actually gonna go tonight. lM

You: He'd forgive you, if you talked to him. KK He's that type. KK

Stranger: I don't want him to. LM

You: Yeah. I know. KK Life's pretty fucked, huh. KK

Stranger: It is. LM

You: Do you really want to let them win, though? KK

Stranger: Who, life? LM The voices in my head? LM My parents? LM

You: All of the above. KK People like us are stronger than every piece of shit that tries to take us down. KK Or at least, we're supposed to be. I don't know how true it is, but... it's something to think about. KK

Stranger: We're supposed to be, but I'm not. LM

You: How many times have you used those hotlines? KK

Stranger: I've called in twice a month for the past year and a half. LM

You: And yet, you're still here. KK

Stranger: I've been so close, Keith.. LM

You: But you haven't done it. KK You're still here, even though everything's fucked up and you've wanted to so bad for so long. KK It takes somebody strong to even use those hotlines. Because there's a chance to be talked out of it. KK

Stranger: I can't keep doing this, Keith.. LM God, this was the last straw.. LM

You: Lance, I'm probably the worst hypocrite on the planet by saying this, but you CAN keep doing this. If you're strong enough to reach out when you're in a bad place, you're strong enough to eventually move past the bad place into something else. Something better. KK

Stranger: This has been building up for so many years. LM I can't do this. LM

You: That's how it goes. But you can do it. It's going to be the hardest fucking thing, but you can. KK

Stranger: {...} come to the bridge on forty fifth, I don't want to fall.. LM

You: I'm on my way. KK

Stranger: Ok. LM

You: ((para?))

Stranger: {{oouiiii}}

You: ((hon hon hon)) Keith hadn't been lying when he'd said it was hypocritical of him to give the advice. The amount of times he'd been in Lance's position... He understood it. It was why he'd responded immediately, even though it had been clear that Lance hadn't meant to message him. He and Lance may not have gotten along whenever they did have any conversation with one another, but shit, he wasn't about to ignore a cry for help like that. Not from anyone. He was out the door faster than a shot, pulling his leather jacket on as he went, with a blanket balled up tightly in his arms. He had no idea the state that Lance would be in, but it was more than likely to assume that he hadn't dressed for the cold night with his intentions. He sprinted through the streets, finally skidding to a halt as he reached the bridge and looking around desperately for Lance.

Stranger: Lance was standing on the wrong side of the railing, arms hooked around it, body leaned forward just slightly so he could peer down at the rushing water below him. The Cuban boy was shaking, his fingers slowly going numb, tears streaking his face. He hadn't meant for anyone to find out, especially not Keith, but the world really did hate him, and that had been what happened. Everything would end if he just let go of the railing and fell forward though, he would die in the freezing cold water. He'd been considering doing it when he heard footsteps coming his way, and he pulled himself close to the rail and turned around to face Keith.

You: There was no sign of him, and Keith was honestly terrified in that moment that he'd been too slow, that Lance had gone and done it and-- No. No, there. There he was, facing the water, staring down into its depths as though it held the answers to all of his problems. Keith blew out a sigh of relief and made his way over to him, footsteps measured so as to not startle the other boy. When Lance turned around, though, Keith was glad to see that, at the very least, he looked unharmed. In the dim light of the street lamp at the other side of the bridge, he could see teartracks shining on his face, but he wasn't fazed or surprised by them. "Lance," he said quietly. "Come back over here."

Stranger: Lance had dark, hardly visible marks all over his legs, which only became clearer when he obediently climbed over the railing, back onto the safe side of it, and stood in front of Keith, eyes downcast, heart beating all to fast in his chest. "I-I...K-Keith.." he whispered, his eyes starting to water again, tears starting to fall freely. "I-I have nowhere to go, Keith..Why..." he choked out a tiny sound. "Why can I never fucking do it..."

You: True to what he'd assumed, Lance was wearing shorts and a t-shirt and nothing else. Glancing down to take a good look at him, Keith discovered the marks criss-crossing his skin and resisted the urge to wince. So much for unharmed. Without missing a beat, he unballed the blanket and spread it out before stepping forward and wrapping it around Lance's shoulders, holding it in place with his hands just short of Lance's chest on either side. "Because there's a part of you that's terrified, and there's a part of you that is always looking for another option," he replied quietly as he worked, finishing the statement as the blanket settled around him.

Stranger: Lance felt the warm blanket wrapped around him, and he stepped closer to Keith, seeking some sort of warmth from him, weather it be body heat, or comforting words. It was true, he was terrified. What came after death? He didn't know. Still, that didn't stop the frail boy from crying. "I h-have no home, Keith...T-they kicked me o-out and I-I'm not allowed to see my sis-sister anymore..."

You: There wasn't a whole lot that Keith knew about Lance's life. They barely ever spoke to one another, and when they did, it was filled with angry words and pointed glares and Lance blaming him for things that he hadn't done. Not much time for bonding when you were too busy bickering. So to hear the words fall from Lance's mouth, bitter and sad and too similar to his own life for comfort, he was more than a little shocked. He tried to cover it by messing with the blanket, keeping it from slipping off Lance's thin shoulders, letting him step closer without stepping away himself. "What happened, Lance?" he asked quietly, because fuck if he knew, and if he was going to say anything even remotely encouraging, he needed to at least try to understand just how shitty his situation was.

You: ((About how old are you thinking they are here?))

Stranger: {{Like, driving age, but not adults yet?}}

You: ((Mmkay!))

Stranger: "My parents tossed me for being gay, Keith...Th-they tossed me and I couldn't...I-I couldn't deal this time...I couldn't...I-I can't be alone again, Keith, I do-don't want to be on the streets again..." he whimpered. This was not the first time his parents had tossed him out, but this time, it was indefinite rather than just a short week. "Th-This one is permanent, I can't...I-I have nowhere to go..." he whispered. "Why can't I just jump..."

You: "I've got space in my room. You don't have nowhere to go." From the age seven to the age of fifteen, Keith had been tossed around from foster home to foster home. He'd hadn't found a place to stay that wasn't terrible and/or filled with terrible people, and he'd been at his absolute worst before he'd ended up with the family he was still with. So parents that did shit like that weren't exactly a shock. Still, to learn that Lance had been kicked out over something a ridiculous as his sexuality pissed Keith off to no end, and the words left his mouth before he'd even really considered the implications. Thinking about it, though... It wasn't as though he thought his foster parents would turn Lance away. They were the nicest people Keith had ever met or lived with, hands down. Plus, as soon as Keith turned eighteen, he was going to get a place on his own. The government gave him a nice kickstart of a fund, and he was already working on trying to get a job. What had begun as an impulse was actually not a terrible idea, when Keith really thought about it. "Seriously. If you've been kicked out, Lance... There are other options besides ending it."

Stranger: Lance looked up, eyes going wide, heart beating fast in his chest. "Y-You'd le-let me...?" he whispered, moving to press himself closer to Keith, arms curling around his neck tight and hiding his face in his chest, crying softly on his shoulder and grasping his leather jacket. He was still trembling, voice breaking when he spoke again. "I...It was to much, Keith...It was to much tonight, Keith..." he whispered, looking up slowly and biting his lip. He needed this, to be close to someone. "God...I-I..Thank you..."

You: Even though Keith had become a lot less... touch-averse in the past two years, the embrace still took him by surprise. He and his foster parents didn't really... hug. His foster brother was the only person who he ever really let near enough, and his parents respected that. He didn't pull away, though. Instead, he took a breath and told himself to relax, and wrapped his arms slowly around Lance, letting him cry, letting him let it out. "I've been there," he told him simply, his voice no louder than a murmur. "I've been there and it's not... it's not a good place. I know that." He shook his head a little, one jerky movement. "No one deserves it."

Stranger: Lance knew how Keith was with touch, he knew he was likely making the shorter uncomfortable, but he was anxious, scared to let go of him despite the fact that he knew Keith wouldn't just let him go like that. Would he? Slowly, the brunette stepped back, his hands shaking, his eyes glistening, tears streaking his face. "I'm...I-I'm sorry, Keith.." he whispered, shivering violently now without another source of heat, the blanket not enough to keep him warm.

You: Keith had been through enough to know how a body reacted after panicking, and he could see Lance trembling as he stepped back again. "You're going to go into shock if we don't get you warm," he said quietly, shrugging off his own jacket as he spoke. He didn't wait for Lance to answer, opting instead to lift the blanket away from him long enough to drape the coat over his shoulders. He wrapped the blanket on top of the jacket, all the while avoiding looking Lance in the eyes. Humiliating him was the last thing on his list of things to do tonight. "Come on. We should get inside," he added, gesturing back towards the way he'd come.

Stranger: Lance kept his head down, the tears still falling freely from his eyes. The boy didn't react when the blanket was moved, or when he felt it placed over a warm leather jacket, his anxiety still coursing through him. His hands curled tight in the blanket, and he rubbed his eyes, taking a shaky breath and nodding wen he was motioned in the direction of what he assumed was Keith's home. He stepped carefully in that direction, his heart pounding in his chest. "thank you..."

You: "You don't have to thank me." The words came out faster than Keith had intended. Louder, too. He just... He really didn't think he needed to be thanked. Not for something like this. Not when he'd /been/ Lance, young and afraid and hating the world and everything in it, without a place he could really call home. If someone back then had stepped into his life, had offered to take him in... He might not have been so goddamn fucked up now. He fell into step beside Lance, walking with him as slowly as the other boy was as they made their way back in the direction of his house. "Just... please. Don't thank me." He wondered if he'd woken anyone up when he'd left. He doubted his foster parents had heard--their room was on the second floor. Shiro's room was on the first, though, and he was currently home from University. Keith wasn't worried about him, though. He was the most understanding person Keith had ever known, and consequently, the person he was the closest to.

Stranger: Lance nodded, falling silent after a moment, speeding up his pace just slightly. He was freezing, he wanted to be warm. "I'm sorry for always being so horrible to you, Keith..." he whispered softly, smiling up at the other weakly and pushing a trembling hand through his soft brown hair, taking in a deep breath and stalking quietly beside him, quickening his pace again when he saw the house come into sight.

You: Keith picked up the pace as well as his house came into sight. He was cold, too, even though he wasn't about to complain about it. Lance needed the jacket more than he did. The cold was uncomfortable, though. The sooner they got inside, the better. "It's... Well, it is what it is," he responded with a shrug. He couldn't say it was fine, because it never really had been. Keith had been confused at first, and that confusion had morphed quickly into anger, and then back to confusion again, depending on the day. But knowing that there were other things going on made things make at least a little more sense. He led Lance up the driveway to the door, and then put a finger to his lips as he unlocked the front door and opened it, gesturing Lance inside.

Stranger: Lance fell into step beside Keith, keeping his head down as he was gestured inside, his footsteps light on the ground as he moved through the door, still shivering, trying to keep himself from it. He was almost glad it was just Keith who seemed to be awake, but that faded quickly when he heard another set of footsteps approaching them from just down the hall. Panic started to settle in again, and he bit his lip, taking in a deep breath as a taller figure approaching. Shiro, for sure, but Lance didn't know that.

You: Well, it seemed that Keith /had/ awoken Shiro. He was just locking the door again when the floor creaked down the hall, light footsteps approaching them. He reached out and set a hand on Lance's shoulder gently, shifting him to the side so that he could get past. He left his hand there, though, at the feeling of just how badly the other boy was shaking under his touch. Shiro's face, illuminated by the flashlight on his phone, popped into view, and Keith squinted through the sudden light at him, making a sour face at him for it. "This is Lance. He's coming to my room. Go back to bed," he whispered.

Stranger: Lance winced at the sudden contact, but he didn't tug away, simply let the hand stay in it's place on his shoulder as Shiro stopped in front of them and shined the light in their faces. When Shiro had even slightly raised his hand, the Cuban boy had flinched, no thought put into it, and covered his face, whimpering softly and closing his eyes. Shiro took note of how scared the tan skinned boy looked, and he looked at Keith, sighing. "I'll bring you both tea and hot water bags, then I'll go to bed."

You: Keith could only look gratefully at his brother, his thanks obvious in his eyes. Honestly, he didn't know what he would have done without him. When he'd first arrived, Shiro had been the only one that could get him to talk, the only one who could talk him out of feeling like shit. He knew then and there that Shiro would be on his side regarding Lance, too. "Thanks, Shiro," he whispered simply before letting his hand drop from Lance's shoulder again. "C'mon, Lance. Let's get you upstairs." And he gestured for Lance to follow him as he started up.

Stranger: Lance nodded when Keith spoke, seeing Shiro go to the kitchen, and following the shorter boy up, his eyes wide and glassy. He didn't say a word, not even once they got to the dark haired boy's room. He just kept quiet and sat out of the way on the floor, wrapped up in the blanket still, knees to his chest, hands together, covering the back of his head. He looked like he was preparing for an earthquake drill or something similar, quite frankly.

You: It took Keith a minute to notice what Lance was doing. As soon as they made it to his room, he had crossed it and gone to the bottom drawer of the dresser, where there were extra blankets stored. It wasn't until he had pulled them out and was tossing them onto his bed that he glanced over to find Lance curled up on the floor. That was... not good. Not good at all. Keith bit his lip and approached Lance slowly, kneeling down in front of him. "Lance?" he murmured, hoping for a response. When he didn't get one, he tried again. "Lance, you're okay. You're safe."

Stranger: Someone was speaking to him. Someone familiar, someone he knew. Keith. It was Keith speaking to him now, kneeling in front of him, but why? What had he done wrong? Oh. Oh god Keith was probably mad at him for waking him up in the middle of the night. Immediately, the taller curled in tighter on himself, his breathing heavy. "I-I di-d-d-didn't me-mean to...t-to wake yo-you up, I-I-I'm sorry..." he stuttered out.

You: It should have been physically impossible for Lance to be curled into such a small ball, but somehow, he was managing. "No, Lance, that's not... It's okay. You didn't wake me up. That isn't... that isn't important." He shook his head. "You're safe here, Lance. I'm not going to hurt you. I won't touch you, not without you saying it's okay. And neither will anyone here. I should have warned you that Shiro might be up, but he's not a bad person. He's actually... he's a really good person, and he's going to help you, too. And you're safe here. That's the most important thing," he reiterated gently, doing his best to keep his tone soft and measured with every new word spoken.

[redtwothree]

RP Log: The Truth Comes Out

Summary: Biggs has been avoiding Wedge and been out of sorts with everyone for weeks now. Wedge is going to be surprised when he finds out why.  Length: 5,000 words Rating: T

Although most of the base on Yavin has decent climate control, the hangar is almost always humid and hot because more often than not, there's a launch door or three open somewhere. At least during the day. Which is fine most of the time, unless you're crawling around under and in a X-wing, trying to track down a problem that could get you killed in combat. Wedge has given up trying to wipe the sweat from his face, but instead, like most of the pilots and mechanics around him, peeled half out of his flight suit, tying the sleeves around his waist. He's about to take off the white undershirt too, because it's already soaked through too.

The heat alone is enough to make him irritable. But his current biggest pain in the ass is about a meter away from him, head first and waist deep in the belly of Wedge's ship. When Biggs had first joined up with the Alliance, he seemed okay. More than okay, Wedge had liked him. All right, all right, Wedge had kind of liked him a lot, but Biggs had spent his first week on base telling everybody who would listen about the boy he left back home. It wasn't until the second week that it had come out that no, the kid wasn't actually Biggs' boyfriend, just his best friend but listen, let me tell you again what a kriffing fantastic pilot he is! Even if Biggs was unaware of the torch he was carrying, Wedge wasn't. So he backed off. Still, they'd become friends, or so Wedge had thought. Good friends. They quickly got a reputation as wicked pranksters, and Wedge was happy when they were assigned to fly together. Because while Biggs could brag about this mysterious Luke all he wanted, Biggs was a pretty kriffing fantastic pilot himself.

Then all of a sudden everything changed. Biggs stopped joking around with him. Stopped hanging around with him, in fact. Stopped talking to him about anything that wasn't strictly Alliance business. At first Wedge shrugged it off, but it's gone on long enough now that Wedge is irritated, and a little bit hurt. What the hell had happened? He wasn't the only one to notice Biggs' change in attitude, and Command had—rather subtly, for Command—nudged Wedge toward finding out what was going on. So here they are, working on Wedge's ship, and Wedge is trying to figure out the best way to ask "So Biggs, why'd you start being an asshole all of a sudden?"

—

Biggs is currently trying to ignore the fact that he knows Wedge is out there, probably watching him. If Wedge doesn't know what the problem is, Biggs does, even if he won't admit it to himself. It's really pretty simple; he wants Wedge. He wants him badly. And the fact that he wants him so badly is clashing terribly with the memories of Luke and the hope that maybe, just maybe, they might see each other again.

The problem is, it's a pretty vain hope. Luke isn't likely to leave home anytime soon; his uncle, though a good man, was far too good at manipulating Luke's guilt to keep him there. He thought he was protecting Luke, but he never seemed to see how much more he was hurting him than getting out into the galaxy ever could. And without Biggs around to nudge him towards spreading his wings, well... it's just not very likely that they'll ever see one another again, now.

Which doesn't stop Biggs from still dreaming about Luke, still fantasizing about what they might have had. Which would be fine except... the past few months, another presence has been intruding into his dreams. A certain dark-haired, very intense eyed Corellian pilot. And it's making Biggs feel conflicted... and guilty. It doesn't matter that he has no reason to feel guilty, that he and Luke never actually promised each other anything. Or even admitted their true feelings, for that matter. Just the fact that he wants someone else is enough to leave Biggs confused and irritable.

His solution's been simple: avoid Wedge whenever and wherever possible. And that's hurt, too, because he considers Wedge a good and trusted friend. Not to mention that it hasn't really done anything to lessen his feelings, and seems to have actually made them worse. Which is why he's annoyed as hell that Wedge asked him to work on his X-wing with him today when any number of other members of the squadron are available. The heat and humidity is just deepening the feelings toward actual anger, and Biggs snaps at Wedge, reaching a hand back out of the crawlspace, "Gimme that smaller hydrospanner."

—

And there he goes. Wedge is starting to run out of patience. He crouches over the tools, looking for the right one. When he finds it, he starts to lean over to hand it into Biggs, but stops mid-lean. "Kriff, Biggs, I dunno. You sound like you're about as likely to sabotage my ship as fix it. What the hell did I ever do to you?" That's the wrong tack to take, and he knows it is, so he growls irritably at himself and slaps the tool into Biggs' outstretched hand, only too aware of how he has to lean around the lower half of Biggs' body to reach him.

The source of Biggs' moodiness has been a topic of conversation with the other pilots as well. Reigning consensus is that Biggs got some bad news from back home about Luke, since he's not mentioning him as much lately. Hobbie's take was simple: "Bet he found out this Luke whoever got a girlfriend." Wedge isn't so sure. There's something else going on, and he just can't quite put his finger on it.

—

"If you think that, then why the kriff did you ask me to fix it?!" Biggs almost deafens himself with the shout in the confined space, and grimaces. Great. Now he has the start of a headache in addition to everything else. He can't even rub his temples in here... there's just not enough room. And yet he refuses to back out of the access hatch, because if he does that, then he's going to have to look at Wedge. And probably talk to him. Kriff, I thought I was safe enough because he doesn't seem like the 'talk about your feelings' type. Guess I was wrong. "There are a thousand other things I could be doing right now that don't involve being too hot and covered in grease!"

He can't help it now; his temper's up and while Biggs has never really been quick to anger, when he does, it's best to stay out of his way for a while. He snatches the hydrospanner from Wedge, bangs his knuckles on the edge of the hatch and curses fluently in Huttese. Maybe I should just go back home. But he knows he won't, he believes far too strongly in the Rebellion's cause to let his own personal issues interfere with duty.

—

With literally anyone else in the squadron, Wedge would crack some sort of joke about better ways to be hot and covered in grease. Hell, a month ago, he would've said the same thing to Biggs. But this Biggs... he can't. And the loss of that friendship pisses him off. "I don't know, I had some stupid fucking idea that my wingmate still gave a shit about watching my ass out there." His voice is too loud too, and heads are starting to turn in their direction. "If you don't, then get the fuck out of my ship and let's go settle this with Command right now. I'm not flyin' with someone who doesn't wanna so much as look at me, much less fly with me. What the hell is your problem, Darklighter?"

—

Biggs suddenly goes very, very still. And very quiet. It's a dangerous sort of silence, one that really ought to be telling Wedge to back off, but of course he won't, because he's Wedge. Biggs says, very calmly and evenly. "What makes you think I'm not going to watch your back when we fly?" If there's one thing Biggs does have a short fuse about, it's his sense of personal honor. The fact that Wedge would question his intent regardless of their personal relationship... he backs slowly out of Wedge's X-wing, and his hands are curled into fists. His dark green eyes bore into Wedge like molten glass poured into a snowbank. "You think that just because I'm not kissing your ass like everyone else does it means I'm going to let some damn Imp blow you out of the sky?"

—

Wedge is gonna strangle him. That's all there is to it. Nah, but if he does that, the Alliance will be out two of its best pilots. So instead of going around Biggs' throat, Wedge's hands go up into his own hair, clutching at the sweaty strands like he's tempted to rip them out. "When have I ever, ever seriously expected anybody to kiss my ass?" He crowds into Biggs' space, lowering his voice but not his intensity. "You know fucking well that's not what it is," he says, jabbing a finger toward Biggs' face. "When, exactly, did you stop giving a damn about the rest of us, huh?"

—

"What?" Biggs blinks at that finger shoved right under his nose, taken aback by Wedge's abrupt intrusion into his personal space but also by the accusation. "What do you... I haven't stopped giving a damn about anyone or anything!" He takes refuge back in anger and slaps Wedge's hand away from his face, circling around him to put the hydrospanner back down with the rest of the tools. "I'm still doing my damn job, and I'm doing it well. I don't have any idea what the kriff you're talking about." It's a snarl, and Biggs hopes it doesn't sound as defensive as it feels.

—

"I'm talking about how you've stopped acting like you like being here!" Wedge turns as Biggs moves around him, but stays where he is, fighting down the urge to hit Biggs back, because that is most certainly not going to solve anything. This time. "I thought we were friends! What the hell happened?" He's still angry—Biggs isn't the only one taking refuge— and he's hiding his hurt behind a layer of snarling. "What did I do to piss you off so badly? Kriff, Biggs, I kinda thought we were close enough that you'd at least have the fucking courtesy to tell me why you hate me all of a sudden."

—

"I don't hate you." And yet it's said in the cool, dispassionate tone of a stranger, for all that. Biggs puts the hydrospanner down, trying to get a grip on himself, on the feelings inside him. If I hated you, it would be easier. I wouldn't care how angry you are or how much hurt I can hear underneath that venom in your voice. Even knowing what he does, Biggs can't bring himself to face the truth of his own desires. He turns to leave. "Don't push this, Wedge. Just don't."

—

Oh no. He's not getting out of this that easy. Wedge reaches out and snags Biggs' elbow. "Don't you fucking walk away from me. Do you seriously not get it? People are worried about you! I'm worried about you!" He's back in Biggs' space again because damned if he's going to yell right now, no matter how much he wants to. "Whatever's going on with you, you've got to talk about it. I'm your wingman, Biggs. Whatever's bothering you, let me know what I did so I can try to fix it. Or something! Why won't you let me try to help?"

—

That touch. It sends a jolt through him like an electrical current over his skin. He's avoided touching Wedge at all since the dreams started, not even an affectionate backslap after a successfully completed mission, and that lack of touch comes back to bite him now, and bite him hard. Biggs shudders, and his resolve, and his temper, finally fully breaks.

"You want to know what's wrong?!" Biggs grabs Wedge's wrist in an iron grip and pries that hand from his arm. He catches Wedge's other wrist too, before he can take a swing or anything else, and slams Wedge hard against the side of his X-wing.

"You're what's wrong!! I can't stop fucking thinking about you, night or day. I want to kriffing drill you into a mattress somewhere and I can't... deal... with... that... and... and...!" And your feelings for someone who never said they thought of you as anything more than a big brother, an object of hero worship. It's not a fucking betrayal if you never promised anything in the first place... Before Biggs knows what he's doing, he's pressed himself up against Wedge, trapping him against the side of his ship, and he's kissing him hard, with as much anger as desire, everything let loose inside him at once in an unstoppable flood.

—

Oh. That's the only coherent thought that flickers through Wedge's mind as Biggs damn near knocks the wind out of him, first with the impact of hitting his ship, then the impact of Biggs' body against him. Of course Wedge thought about trying to get Biggs into bed. There aren't many people on base he hasn't had at least idle thoughts about. And when he and Biggs became friends, he thought maybe, but with Biggs so caught up in the guy back home...

Guess maybe he's not so caught up in him anymore.

Even caught so wildly off-guard, even with his hands pinned, it doesn't take Wedge long to respond. The last of his anger bleeds out through the kiss he returns, and as the anger goes away it's replaced by nothing but heat, at a level that surprises even him.

—

Dimly, Biggs is aware of the hangar erupting with whistles and catcalls. Some part of his mind knows that there's probably money exchanging hands, especially amongst the other members of the squadron. None of it is important enough to percolate through the haze that's descended on his brain. He's forgotten the difference between his anger and his desire at this point, and he kisses like it's still a fight, like they're still angry, even though that's the farthest thing from his mind. Eventually he has to come up for air, gasping and blinking himself out of a near daze. "Wedge... I..."

—

"Took you long enough!" someone yells. Wedge thinks it might've been Porkins but he's not sure. He hears cries of "pay up!" and he starts to wonder if everybody knew what was wrong with Biggs except for him.

Wedge feels about as blindsided as Biggs looks, but he's faster to recover. "So.... yeah. We should probably talk, huh? And by talk, I mean, like, actually talk, not wander off to my quarters and get naked." Yet? Oh hell, that could really happen... He has to swallow a sudden surge of nervous excitement. There's still too much up in the air, and he actually likes Biggs too much to let his libido run away with him and damn the consequences.

—

"I... uh..." Biggs lets go of Wedge's wrists and steps back sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck. He bites back an urge to yell at their audience to kriff off, because it won't do any good and will probably just encourage them. His grin's a little lopsided, but it's still the grin that Wedge remembers from before this whole episode started; now that he's admitted it, it's amazing how much of his frustration has disappeared. Not all of it, of course, as is quite evident from just a glance downward, but some at least. "Yeah. Yeah, we probably should. But we need to get away from these nerfs first..." He gestures over his shoulder to the heckling crowd.

—

"All right, all right," Wedge yells over Biggs' shoulder, "show's over. You can all gloat at me later, I promise." He grins up at Biggs. "You know, the last couple weeks would've been a hell of a lot easier if you had just laid a kiss on me then instead of stewing about it all this time." Now it's his turn to look a little sheepish. "So. Your place? Hobbie's gonna be busy collecting his winnings for while if I know him. We should have some time to talk." That's twice now that Wedge has offered to talk. About feelings. He can barely believe the words are coming out of his mouth, but before anything else goes on, he's got to find out what's going on inside Biggs' head.

—

"Yeah, it probably would have. But you didn't annoy me into it then. I guess you should have poked me sooner." Biggs looks around and then nods. "Yeah, let's go back to my rooms. Like you said,..." He glances over his shoulder at Hobbie, surrounded by other members of the squadron and raking in more than a few credits, by the looks of things. "He'll be busy. And if he gets done collecting before we're done talking, he can find somewhere else to hang out for a while. Serves him right." God, I'm never gonna hear the end of this with him...

—

"So, um, lead the way?" Wedge wants to hold out his hand, but boy would that send a signal he's not sure he's ready to send, to Biggs or to anyone else watching, so instead he just nudges at Biggs with the absent-mindedness of a distracted cat, pulling away from the durasteel still at his back. "Quick, before they start giving us shit again."

—

"Yeah, come on." Biggs, too, quells the urge to reach for Wedge's hand. Even though he wants to make that connection, he's just not sure if it would be welcome. He knows Wedge pretty well by now, and he knows that he's all about the casual relationships and not so much for the feelings. And yet, he's offering to talk about his feelings, so... maybe? Biggs just keeps his hands to himself and leads the way to his rooms, losing a bit more of the tension in his shoulders when they leave their audience behind.

—

It's one of the awkwardest and most intense walks Wedge has had anywhere. He has no idea what to say, and talking is not something he usually has a problem with. Still, Biggs seems to be acting more and more like his usual self, and that's heartening if nothing else. Once they're inside the room though, and behind a closed door, Wedge feels like his tongue is glued to the roof of his mouth. He fidgets with the knot of his sleeves around his waist, chewing on his lower lip. "Well that was... unexpected." He laughs abruptly. "By me, at least. Apparently not by anybody else."

—

"Yeah apparently they knew what I wasn't saying." Biggs laughs a little, faintly, and starts digging under the mattress of his bed... an odd action, it would seem... at least, until he comes up with a hidden bottle of Corellian whiskey. Whyren's, no less. "I figure maybe a couple swallows will help, yeah?" He raises his eyebrows at Wedge. He knows Wedge loves good Corellian whiskey (and it makes sense, he's Corellian!) and having a bottle of the rarest on hand is probably another subconscious acknowledgement that Biggs made to his feelings for him.

—

Wedge's eyebrows shoot up almost all the way to his hairline. "Where the hell did you manage to get a hold of that?" He nods though, because there's no way he's gonna say no to that. "If you were trying to impress me, you just did." That's not exactly the truth. He impressed Wedge a long time ago, probably about five minutes after they first met. And now Wedge is gonna have to admit that, probably, so yes. Definitely some liquid courage is required.

—

"My dad has connections," Biggs says with a shrug, sitting on the bed and holding out the bottle to Wedge. "Considering how much he takes advantage of others, I don't feel bad taking advantage of them." Biggs grimaces inwardly; now is not the time to be thinking about his disagreements with his father. So he grins instead and shakes the bottle temptingly. "Come on. You can have the first sip."

—

The bottle is not the most tempting thing in the room right now. But Wedge takes it anyway and twists it open, filing away Biggs' comments about his dad for later consideration. He's heard similar comments before, and sooner or later he's gonna have to ask, but for now... The whiskey is as good as he remembers, and warms all the way down. He takes a second swallow and hands it back. He hovers briefly, trying to decide whether he's going to sit on Biggs' bed, or Hobbie's. For right now... Hobbie's seems like the safer bet. So he sits across from Biggs, although the room is small enough that their knees are practically touching anyway.

—

Biggs, too, takes a couple swallows before he hands the bottle back to Wedge. He's not planning on taking in more than it takes to relax him a little, which with whiskey this potent, won't take much. He wants his head clear for this. Whatever this is or is going to be. And that's the problem. He has no idea what to say. Biggs, who almost always knows exactly what to say in any situation, is completely tongue-tied. "So, um.... I guess it's pretty clear how I feel, at least in general."

—

Wedge is really really tempted to get drunk and let instinct take over, but instead he waves the bottle away for now. He scrubs at his face with one hand. "Well. Kinda. I still don't understand why you were so mad at me." Taking away his hand, he tilts his head and squints at Biggs. "You were avoiding me because you wanted to kriff me? Is that what I'm getting out of this?"

Just saying that out loud sends a pleasant little shiver through him, although he tries to hide it.

—

"I wasn't mad at you. I was mad at myself." Biggs sighs. "Look, back home... Luke and I knew each other since we were kids. And we made eyes at each other from the time we were old enough to understand what that meant... but I was never certain if the way he was looking at me was just adoration or something more. And Tatooine, well... it's backwards about a lot of things the core worlds take for granted, so we never said anything. And honestly, I'd never wanted anyone but Luke before. I told myself I was content to just dream about him and hope that maybe we'd meet again someday, unlikely was that was... and then you came along." Biggs grins a little.

"And yes, I've wanted to kriff you from the first day I met you. Suns, you're gorgeous and dark and dangerous and you're a hell of a pilot, how could I not?" Biggs shakes his head, looking rueful. "Thing is, I'd convinced myself so well that Luke and I were tragically separated soulmates destined to meet again someday that finding out I had this desire for someone else made me feel like I was being unfaithful. So I bottled it all up and just let it build and build until, well... until today."

—

A grin pulls hard at both corners of Wedge's mouth and he ducks his head at hide it at Biggs' compliment. He's not entirely sure that anyone has ever called him "dark and dangerous" before, but he kinda likes it. At Biggs' next words, though, the grin fades a little. He looks up at Biggs, his elbows resting on his knees. "I'm sorry that you two never really had a chance to figure things out. You'd think by now the Outer Rim would be a little more... I dunno, modern, but then again, the Empire probably isn't helping any of that, either." Down his eyes go again and he spends an inordinate amount of time studying his own hands. "Guess I don't have to tell you that though. The Academy probably wasn't any more accepting than your home planet, huh?"

—

"Yeah, I am too, still. Sometimes anyway. But the life we live... well. I mean, you and I could die tomorrow. We could die tonight or in the next hour. To hold myself away from the chance to be with someone I can be with on the off chance of being with someone I'll probably never even see again is pretty stupid." Biggs snorts and takes another sip from the bottle, just a small one. "The Empire's all about pairing up good little Imp men and women to make more little Imps to train. They've all but got a breeding program going. And if you're not into contributing to that... or even if you are but also like to occasionally have a wander to the other side... well. It's not looked upon kindly."

—

Biggs' words are sobering in more than one aspect. Too sobering. He reaches for the bottle and takes a another little drink. "You know that's why pilots are so rowdy, yeah? What am I saying, of course you do, you were a TIE pilot, and their life expectancy is even shorter than ours. You're not wrong. As long as we're here and we're fighting, we've gotta cram in every bit of life we can manage, because yeah. We don't know how much of it we're gonna get. Nobody does, I know, but... especially us." Wedge hands back the bottle and drags his fingers through his hair, digging at his scalp with the motion. "Biggs... that's why I've always, well. You know. I'll kriff just about anybody who's interested and sober enough to say yes. It's just always been... easier. Like if I lose one of them, I'm only losing a little tiny piece of my heart and not the whole thing."

His eyes meet Biggs', and there's a hint of real fear hiding there, deep down. "I can't—I can't do that with you. I can't manage to keep my distance. Worse, I don't wanna keep my distance. You've got every little part of me right there in the palm of your hand—you have for ages—and that scares the shit out of me, but.... in a good way."

—

"I... kinda figured that was why you kept things so casual with everyone." Biggs nods, his eyes soft, his expression understanding. "But something else I realized, sitting around denying I had any feelings for you at all for so long... I was worried I might hurt in the future because of Luke, and I was letting it keep me from living. We risk our whole selves every day, Wedge. And well, a heart can shatter, yes... but if you're still alive, it can mend, with time." He smiles and leans in so they're only a few inches apart. "It scares the hell out of me, too. But the only thing I know is that seeing you, here, saying these things? I know the risk is worth it."

—

Risk is not something Wedge backs away from, usually. But most of the time, it's not his heart he's risking. He watches Biggs for several heartbeats, trying to weigh out all of the options, all of the pros and cons and he keeps coming back to the pair of dark green eyes smiling at him from so close. Close enough that Wedge could lean in and kiss him again if he wanted to. And oh he does want to. Is this risk worth it? Does it even matter, if there's no way he can resist taking it anyway? His eyes dart between Biggs' mouth and Biggs' eyes, and in the end, there's no question of what he's going to do. There's really only one thing he can do. Moving slowly, in a hesitant, start-stop sort of motion, Wedge closes the last little bit of distance between them and presses his mouth to Biggs'.

—

Biggs' own heart is in his throat. This is the moment of truth. Wedge will either close the distance, or he'll pull away, maybe even break and run because the thought of anything more than a casual fuck is too much for him. Biggs won't blame him if he chooses the latter; the life they live is hard and unbelievably dangerous and unpredictable. He waits, and watches, his dark green eyes earnest and soft and asking for nothing, only giving Wedge what he feels. And when the last bit of space between them is crossed and their lips meet again, he makes a soft, happy sound and slips his arms around Wedge, one hand sliding up into that thick dark hair he's longed to touch for so, so long...

—

There's no telling what the future holds for them , but that's just made Wedge very good at living in the moment. And this particular moment... it's worth living in—and probably reliving later in great detail. Without breaking the kiss, Wedge switches sides so he's sitting next to Biggs, wrapping both his arms around his waist. Biggs tastes of the Whyren's he was drinking, and Wedge spends several vaguely delirious moments chasing that taste, and if he feels drunk, he's pretty sure it's not the whiskey doing it. He stops and presses his forehead against Biggs', trying to catch his breath.

"No matter what happens, you're right. This is worth it," he murmurs. "You're worth it." He grins crookedly and gives a little laugh. "And now everyone can stop worrying about you being a miserable bastard because I am going to focus on making you as deliriously happy as I can. Starting... right... now." He closes in for another kiss and decides that if Hobbie comes back any time soon, he's just going to have to go amuse himself somewhere else for a while.