#it means nothing and I’m not like
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Hearing just how badly my cousin is fucking up (really multiple cousins who are fucking up ones just more of a long term deal) doesn’t make me feel better it makes me want to walk into the sea
I’m not like as colossally fucking up, I’m looking out for my health and general wellbeing, I can’t work currently and by god I gave up on trying to get a real job that’s done from home I can’t think of words right that’s another great reason I can’t work
So clearly the answer is walk to the woods (the sea is very far i live in a landlocked state I could walk to a river but that’s not as poignant) and I keep thinking about what my (admittedly quite bad) therapist said about me not working, and not wanting it to be a fear thing, when I know how sick I get when I push through the pain and can’t get to my meds that make me also sick feeling
#vent#it means nothing and I’m not like#a real fuckup#just kind of one?#it’s not like I’m doing badly per se I’m just#yknow#not producing capital in the society where capital is important for general life#and I’m not disabled enough to get disability it’s fucking pointless to try it#I’m just#resting until I I don’t know what#I’m a fuckup#it’s hard to not feel it when it’s sort of true#I don’t know#there’s no jobs I can do because I need dark and days off whenever#and that doesn’t exist#because I’d get fired#snd if I got fired I’d be really scared to get a job and I need to remember my therapist was generally pretty bad at doing therapy at me#because she never quite knew my problems that well#I need to write therapy at myself again but the fic where I do it it’s not happening yet#so I can’t do the scenes if I don’t know where I’m going#I know the plot it’s a how I get there issue
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obligatory “cool characterization, still murder” like I’m not excusing him but it does make him incredibly interesting
(*girl gender neutral edition)
#bill cipher#the book of bill spoilers#tbob spoilers#the book of bill#gravity falls#philip wittebane#<- him too (the grimwalker visions)#toh#the owl house#could bill NOT be feeling guilty and I’m reaching? maybe idk man#1k#2k#3k#i've gotten a few comments like 'ohh you/i can excuse them!' so i will clarify#i more mean that i don't want to act like they did nothing wrong because them BEING in the wrong is more interesting#like i don't want to woobify them you know????#it's far more exciting to NOT excuse them and analyze them through that lens for me personally#sometimes characters are complex AND they suck AND they're pathetic AND they're scary#they contain multitudes!
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imagine being one of dan’s flatmates in his first yr of uni lmfaoo??? like ok here comes this guy and like the first day he shuts himself in his room to play video games. ok cool whatever maybe he’s nervous. most of the time you never see him bc apparently he has an older friend nearby that he’s always with. when he is in the hall he’s burning pasta bc he’s cooking inept and staring down the washer bc he doesn’t understand how to do his own laundry. oh and he makes videos for youtube where he talks to himself (again this is like 2010). so after barely seeing this man the entire term you find out he’s dropped out of uni. ok whatever you never really think about him again until you’re on youtube and you see his face on the homepage. his video has like millions of views and thousands of likes. oh, there’s the friend he was spending all that time with. somehow he’s become some sort of an internet celebrity??? lmfaooooo. what a serve on dan’s part.
#i’m saying this bc if i was his flatmate i KNOW i would be so nosy#like most of me and my flat mates were rlly close friends but there was one girl who wanted nothing to do w us#which i mean fair#but we still check to see what she’s up to on facebook and like send her life update posts to one another#so like imagine if ur reclusive flatmate became internet famous?? and he has thousands of ppl obsessed with him#even tho once you saw him set pasta on fire#(and now he’s trying to pretend it was someone else)#dan howell#danisnotonfire#dan and phil#dnp#n says shit
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Thoughts and doodles
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(Please do not use, or repost my works anywhere without explicit permission from me thank you <3)
#deersart#my art#Psychonauts#psychonauts 2#psychonauts raz#razputin aquato#psychonauts razputin#coach oleander#morceau oleander#psychonauts oleander#truman is technically also there but it’s plant Truman so does it even count#maligula is there to but like Truman she’s not relevant enough to count here#i have so many thoughts#like- how long did it actually take Raz to get to camp#we know he went by horse and got dropped of by a truck at some point#but what else#how long was it#the longer it is the more concerned it makes me#mr eats nothing but candy and the occasional roasted animal#i also have thoughts about morry’s tiny little ‘office’ y’all get this man an actual office smh#raz thought plant Truman’s fire breathing was cool. nuff said.#coach is built like a yam /aff#I’m not as content with that train painting as I’d like to be but hey practice makes perfect y’a know#tw vomit#tw emetophobia#i mean not really really but kinda#saw someone tag it so I figured I probably should just incase
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*cough* if you hate amber volakis i hate you *cough* (just kidding!) (i’m not.)
#house md#hate crimes md#text post#amber volakis#honestly this could apply to other women in the show…#think about park right…#people eat up awkward guys. but god FORBID a woman be awkward#i genuinely don’t understand the amber hate#like it is literally SPOON. FED. to the audience that she’s supposed to be a female house#NOW. that doesn’t mean her entire character should be boiled down to this concept#i also don’t like you if you view amber SOLELY as female house#you guys just don’t get her like i do#(some of you do though and i love you for that)#anyway sorry for the tag rambling but this is a AMBER VOLAKIS FANPAGE#i would say i’m an amber apologist but she did LITERALLY nothing wrong#…other than a few things but otherwise she’s literally an angel
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I always wondered why Katniss factored marriage and children into the equation when it came to reciprocating Peeta’s feelings for her. It’s a rather large leap, especially when Peeta himself never expresses wanting children at any point in the story. He uses children as a tool to persuade Katniss and the Capital to save her life, but the only time we see him express any desire/feelings of having one of his own is when he’s crying after the baby bomb. But we never hear his real thoughts.
But you wanna know who does express wanting children? Gale.
It’s one of the first thing he mentions in chapter one. And it pisses her off so much.
(I also want to add that Gale reframes/establishes the dynamic of Katniss and him caring for their siblings from something that is sibling-sibling to parent-sibling. And he is not wrong. Katniss doesn’t refute him. Both Katniss and Gale are surrogate parents to their siblings. Which is also why Katniss love and affection of Prim, is not just sisterly. I’ve seen people say Katniss is only sisterly to Prim- but she’s not. She’s parentified their relationship to the point she subconsciously see Prim as her child, which makes this a tragedy because she’ll loose her first child no matter what she does by the end of the story.)
But Gale’s phrasing here elevates himself as a potential suitor to Katniss by placing them both as the parental roles to these children. (Which irritates her a lot ). Which is why she brings the topic up with her relationship with Peeta. Because she’s subconsciously aware of Gale’s efforts and knows it will be a point of contention between them. It hangs over her head in a way.
With Gale, children are extra mouths to feed. (But Gale will do fine. He can work. He can hunt.) It’s all framed with calculated survival in mind. But it’s also not something she had planned in the future at any point.
But Peeta’s children? Oh they deserve to be born because Peeta deserves to be a father. He would be such a good father. They deserve to exist in a world where they can be safe and happy. (Even if it’s not with her.)
This is also why I think she subconsciously sees Peeta’s baby as her own. And I don’t think of it as a cruel/heartless thing, it’s just you’d be more protective of your own child compared to someone else’s. Katniss sees Gale as a reliable person who’s equipped to look after a kid. She doesn’t express the same kind of maternal instinct/yearning for the Baby Hawthrone’s safety as she does with the idea of Baby Mellark, because she doesn’t think of Gale’s child as her own. She never hopes for a better future for them, but she does with Peeta because he and that baby gives her hope. And she loves him that much.
#I’m just rambling#sorry if it’s obvious from the get-go#but I just realized the whole Baby+marriage and Peeta is Katniss dragging her issues with Gale into her relationship with Peeta 🤣#I don’t want to be mean#but Katniss does not give a shit about Gale being a father#she’s all like- yeah go find a partner#but I still want my hunting buddy#but Peeta???#he should be a father (says nothing about finding another woman) and his baby deserves safety#she also doesn’t mention jealous with Peeta#but does with Gale (I wouldn’t be jealous. but me hunting partner…)#which yeah#she plans on dying#but she also blocks out the topic of another woman completely#because I think it would make her sad/jealous#everlark#katniss everdeen#peeta mellark#thg#the hunger games#not tagging Gale lmao
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OH MY GOD ITS CARMEN AND RICHARD
#spooky month#spooky month carmen#spooky month richard#they’re so silly I LOVE THEM I LOVE COUPLES WHO KNOW WHAT THEY WANT#every time pelo posts them; it’s because i’m sending the brain waves trust me#one day the carmen richard enjoyers will be hit with the family angst#and i specifically won’t know peace ever again /JOKE#i’ll live !!! it just means i can use sad love songs now#yknow…. for pmv’s /evil#i mean i do have some angst ideas but it feels awkward posting them lol#anyways a bunch of nothing tags to hide these two tags ->#[ the art of mourning ]#spooky month fanart#not like i really tried to replicate the style i just went “good enough” and posted it LOL#carmen x richard
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Intrusive thoughts
#nothing like thinking about how it’d be to murder your homie. we all do that aaaall the time right#a passion of mine is writing dialogue in a way that you could interchange who says it and it’d still make sense when it comes to Vashwood#they both get insane intrusive thoughts and that’s a matter of fact#they are turbo traumatized so it’s even worse at times. this is what I would say one of the tamest instances if that means anything#Vash would feel so guilty abt them too. bc they don’t feel like his thoughts. it’s almost as if it was someone else’s#they have pointed their guns at each other but never shoot. the thoughts have lost another day <3#Vashwood is: having thoughts and rarely do anything abt them (positive and negative)#everybody who has intrusive thoughts say hell yeah. HELL YEAH!!!#gentle reminder that intrusive thoughts are just that and don’t define you as a person. they are. I’m fact. intrusive#intrusive thoughts#cw intrusive thoughts#tw intrusive thoughts#for those who may need to filter those out#trigun#vash the stampede#nicholas d wolfwood#trigun stampede#vashwood#trigun fanart#vash#wolfwood#nicholas trigun#lenssi draws#lenssi writes#because I wrote the lines first and THEN I did the drawings#still fixated on Vash’s eyes btw if you didn’t notice
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Is there a she-ra fandom on tumblr somewhere?
#she ra#shera#she ra fanart#she ra and the princesses of power#catradora#catra#adorable#adora#I didn’t mean tk add adorable LNFAO#uhhhh Idek if the fandom alive but seeing all my fav ROTTMNT artists making stuff for other fandoms.. I thought I’d revisit some of my#fav shows#I missed this show I started rewatching it#they mean the world to me#I’m starting to see a pattern on my fav characters#first Leo from rise whos cocky and an asshole but feels like he’s not good enough. he’s just a face man. he’s nothing without his team.#Catra is cocky confident and an asshole#but feels left behind#feels like she can’t compare to adora#so she sabotages herself#I kin them!!!
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is this not going to lead to increased violent resistance in countries whose governments are participating in genocide? if people see that calling your reps and voting won’t stop your own government from openly supporting and sponsoring genocide then what other conclusions are people going to come to? This comes directly after watching millions die from a global pandemic because our governments refused to do anything. it felt like we’d been building to an explosion of violence even before October 7 with all the massive increases in right wing organised violence as well as the reams of labour strikes, but that seems quaint now. Palestine appears to hold global popular support. in one protest last week in london alone there was 100k people demonstrating in support of Palestine. Where is that energy going to go? It’s not going to drive people to the polls
#I’m not American btw but if you say any vote blue shit on here save yourself the breath and kys instead#I don’t mean this in a ‘what about us’ way just thinking like. When the dust settles what are people gonna do? Just go back to their lives#like nothing happened?
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Ok I know this is kinda specific but does anyone have some recs for established relationship lovesquare fics that have a conflict that goes beyond just an identity misunderstanding? Like it’s already post-reveal or a reveal alone can’t fix it? Like they have an argument or some drama happens or something and they have to solve it together as a couple? I don’t know what I’m saying but I go wild for that stuff but it’s hard to search for
#and I am in fic desperation because I have nothing else to do and I spend so much time searching for fics like this#I figured I may as well ask#post season 5 finale fics definitely fall into this category but are easier to search for so I mostly mean other scenarios#also I love love love aged up. if it helps. but I feel like I’m already being too specific lol#buggachatter
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i was bored
also a ver w nicky bcs i forgot abt him lol
[jazz hands] i present to u: the monsters !! [crowd booes]
#ummm i do think aaron is bigger than andrew js bcs he is a backliner but idkk i wish there was an avatar w my ideal big andrew body 🤒#also cowering at andrew’s feet i’m so sorry bby i didn’t mean to put u in that frat boy fit 💔#looking at this rlly makes u go wow kevin is a giant standing nest to these guys 😭#this was a bit fun i admit#they must have looked a bit silly like ur ringleader is a 5ft nothing emo ?? sorry for laughing#neil being stuffed in the backseat w the twinyard beefies sign me up as well 🙌#aftg#kevin day#neil josten#andrew minyard#aaron minyard#nicky hemmick#the monsters
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just so there’s no “speculations” that i’m rude, i’ll come out and say it for everyone— if you make blogs like this you need to get on indeed.com immediately, like yesterday. find something better to do with your time. drink some matcha, bounce on some dick, smell some flowers… this is not the way, ladies !!!
#i mean it’s hysterical that they have nothing better to do but WHAAAAT#i wasn’t posted about on here but like. this is insane#and i’m not gonna watch my moots get talked about by LOSERS#imagine having this much time omg
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Had some progress the other day :)
#ff#ffxiv#god there’s alot of characters smh#sesame#Kaiien#saffron#Alisaie#Alphinaud#Ryne#hehe I don’t have to call her Minfillia anymore haha#Lovedie#Faustino#I miss them my silly lads#anyways I’ve been Saffron centric for the past few posts (on Twitter) so buckle up I’m dropping the slightest of lore for her soon#and by slight I mean like#nothing#but kinda some thing#hehehe#you’ll see
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💘
#this might be the most scribble thing I post here yet bahahahahahahahahahahaaha#I still like how the hands turned out even though I didn’t finish them😇#but it’s pretty messy and the hands might be the only part I like🥲#but since this blog is my art journey documentation here you are#I was pretty busy today so no good art but maybe tomorrow we’ll see#I am preparing things to FINALLY answer my asks🥹#& if you tagged me in anything I actually have been meaning to respond!!!!!!!! my notifications are the WORST and so confusing on here😵💫#and I’m technology grandma…#hope u all have had an amazing day !!!! 🫶#my brother in law has been fishing and catching SO MANY sargo#(sargo = sea bream for the animal crossing playing English speakers😙)#AND ITS LITERALLY SOOOOOOOOO DELICIOUS !!!!!#i cook it in the weirdest way possible#you just have to gut the fish and cut off its fins etc#then you put it in a wet salt bed and cover it up…cook it for 30 min…AND VOILA ITS DONE !!!!!#I don’t add any spices…NOTHING…and this fish literally has the taste and texture of crab covered in butter#LIKE…😳 it might be my favorite food/fav thing to cook these days bc it’s so easy and fresh caught fish is just delicious😫#well that was my grandma cooking show of the day👩🍳#now you know how to cook sargo a la sal 👩🍳#also going back to the drawing🥹 I just love these two so much…#I love thinking of sweet moments…most of my angst is confined to writinc😆#the chapter I’m writing right now is SO ANGST DEPRESSING (sorry Eloise)#it will get better…I promise…#hogwarts legacy#hogwarts legacy fanart#hogwarts legacy oc#hogwarts legacy mc#eloise babbit#sebastian sallow#sebastian sallow x mc
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Yeah a teaser dropping on ST day would be cool. But can we agree that a DNA board reveal would be infinitely better?
#byler#stranger things#st5 predictions#st5 dna board#yes I know a dna board reveal doesn’t qualify as like major promo since most fans want something visual and real#and so it’s likely we’ll get a teaser regardless#which is great#but I’m just imagining the rest of the day being subpar in terms of stuff for us to actually analyze outside of the teaser#they released the s4 dna board during lockdown and a couple months before they even finished writing it#so s5’s board is definitely finalized by now#and it would cost them nothing…#well i mean technically it could cost them everything 😭#it’s just a matter of how on the nose they were about some of the titles it features#and if they’re willing to risk sharing that at this time when there’s still a year until release#i could see a decent amount of films on it being incriminating on so many different fronts#but I could also see some super random stuff in the mix that would distract people from reading into the incriminating stuff#it’s just something that could actually keep us busy analyzing for a while#a teaser would be everything we need rn#but the dna list is what I actually want 😭#i’ve been working on my own st5 dna board wishlist bc I’m so impatient for this#i’m gonna post it tomorrow#it’s time#and in the case they do reveal the dna board next week I want to have mine ready to see if there are any matches#i’ve also been working on my st5vision playlist for nearly 2 years now (jesus) and it’s time to share that too#soon!!
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