#it is so beautifully written. these games are so thoughtful and full of love

[mourn-and-watch]

sometimes fandomposting is about connecting the dots that were carefully placed here by the writers to give their work another levels of meaning. sometimes fandomposting is about connecting the dots that were never meant to be here because obviously nobody who wrote it cared this much but you want it to be super deep so bad you go delusional

[gay-dorito-dust]

Would you be willing to write a Miguel x Spider!Reader oneshot where they’re arguing over something the reader did on a mission. And in the heat of an argument, Miguel yells “Because I love you!” at the perfectly wrong time, revealing why he cares about the reader’s safety.

‘What the hell was that back there. You could’ve jeopardised the whole mission with that reckless stunt you pulled back there!’ Miguel barked, ripping off mask the first moment moment he could; Hellfire were setting ablaze to his beautiful scarlet eyes that were zeroed in on you as the anger, the frustration upon his face became prominent the more he closed the distance between you.

‘When will you let this go, Miguel. When we became Spider-Man we knew the risks that we were running with-‘ ‘so you thought it’d be better to take a running head start by taking the leap and then diving headfirst into them?!’ Miguel cuts you off and with an indignant huff he adds, ‘you don’t get extra points for being reckless, this isn’t some little game that you can just come back to when you feel like it. No, what we do is a full time commitment with no room for last minute deviations just because you were feeling more heroic.’

You grit your teeth. You respected Miguel, you truly did and at one point in time you wanted to do right by his little rule book of how to be a great hero. However you soon learned that it’s better to play by your own rules rather then it was to play by those made by others and slowly but surly found a method that worked for you. For no two methods were the same when it came to protecting and saving people but if they both end in the same conclusion, then no one should be able to raise an issue with it. At the end of the day you and Miguel saved people from a much bigger problem if left unchecked; so why was it that all of a sudden he had an issue with your methods?

It never upset him this much before, so why now. Did he think you as incapable? As unreliable? As untrustworthy to fully let you handle a situation on your own? Whatever it was it only proved in pissing you off despite your semi-injured state; you didn’t care that you’ve gotten hurt, you’ve gotten hurt plenty of times before and he never once batted an eye or exemplified his emotions as he did as of right now. You could barely get a read on the guy as he stood mere feet away, chest heaving even though he wasn’t out of breath, eyes wide and his hair slightly disheveled from the way he had torn off his mask earlier.

And yet you couldn’t help but find him beautiful in his anger, for it was like witnessing the makings of a Greek tragedy; beautifully written, yet so heartbreakingly tragic.

‘Why does it matter?’ You spat, getting up, despite your injured leg’s desire to buckle beneath the weight of not only you but the situation at hand. You saw the briefest movements of Miguel’s arms almost stretch out to instinctively catch you but stopping midway through the motion before going slack at his sides once more; as though remembering why he was mad at you in the first place. ‘It never mattered before, so why does it matter now? You don’t hound the others for doing it so why is it me that’s getting shit on for doing the same when I ain’t the first to do so!’

‘Because I love you!’ Miguel exclaimed.

The silence afterwards was almost deafening. Miguel’s outburst quieted you quickly as a thousand and one thoughts raced in your head; how long? why now? Was this merely a ruse to silence you so he could badger on at you for your supposed mistake? You didn’t know what to make of anything anymore now that he said that. You didn’t want to believe it for starters on the basis that not once had he ever shown interest in you, if anything he made it apparent to push you away or avoid you entirely from any and all interaction, and even when he did it was comprised of short responses that left the attempts at conversation to die as an overwhelming awkwardness forced you into leaving him be.

‘What?’

‘I love you.’ Miguel repeated, softer this time.

‘I get that but why-‘ ‘haven’t I shown it until now? As stupid as it sounds but I didn’t want you to get hurt because of me and look where you are,’ he gestured to your injured state, ‘hurt because of me.’ He adds defeatedly. You were about to open your mouth when Miguel raised a hand, indicating that he wasn’t finished, ‘I know I haven’t given you any reason to believe me when I say that I love you. I avoid you like the plague and I push you away whenever I see you starting to get too close and respond in a clipped tone of voice so that you’d loose interest and move on to talk to someone else.’

He stopped talking to move in closer to you, grasping you by arms with a firm grip as all the anger in his face seemingly having been melted away. The raging hellfire that once consumed his scarlet eyes in their entirety had been diminished to that of dying ambers, unveiling his admiration, his worry, his guilt and most importantly, his love; the sneer now long gone was replaced by a softer more tender expression that didn’t hide away the worry lines that were deeply etched into his skin. ‘I don’t deserve you, I’m not worth having you because sooner or later you’ll see me the way I’ve always seen myself and I’d rather you be as far away as possible when that happens.’ Miguel said, making sure he was maintaining eye contact with you the entire time to prove that he was being wholeheartedly genuine, not wanting to lie to you about something as personal as his feelings; He’s done that for long enough, Miguel knew his breaking point was upon the incline and seeing you act the way you did during the mission only fast forward it.

‘Yet for some inexplicable reason I can’t stop myself for wanting to protect you, to make sure you’re safe, to make sure that you never come to harm. At first I thought it was because I was looking out for a teammate, making sure you didn’t slip up and cause more potential problems for the rest of us, making sure that you didn’t let a single perpetrator slip but soon I learnt it was far more then just simply looking after a teammate...’ Miguel paused to blink away the images regarding of the nightmares he’d get concerning you, which were few and far between but those times were enough to suffocate him with fear. ‘It was something more and I grew scared, I grew scared because I know what it’s like to loose it all but for some reason I also knew that loosing you would just be the nail in the coffin for me.’

Miguel admits as he presses his forehead against your own, his hands trailing from up your arms until they’re caressing the skin of either side of your neck between calloused thumbs. He closing his eyes and allows himself to breath you in, reminding himself that you were here and that he managed to get to you before anything else could, that he kept you safe, not from all harm but at least from some of it and that was good enough but he knew deep down that he needed the do better. ‘Don’t make me imagine a life without you,’ he whispers, pressing his forehead against yours just that tiny bit harder as his fingertips found their home where your pulse points were to remind him that you weren’t gone completely from his grasp, ‘for I don’t think I’m strong enough to withstand that reality.’

‘You don’t have to.’ You told him softly, lifting your hands to caresses the skin of his cheeks and feeling him effectively melt within your hold. ‘Not anymore.’

[mariabtsos]

Nuts - ||k.nj||

Description: how had Namjoon ended up in this situation? What do you mean he had to actually make a connection instead of fucking your brains out?

Genre: Oneshot, Non-idol AU, Rapper!Namjoon x Makeup Artist f!reader, strangers-to-lovers, Too Hot To Handle inspired, SMUT SMUT SMUT!! Hopeful ending. 

Warnings: Namjoon is a bit of a player and full of himself, just smut overall with a hopefully balanced plot, eventually he’ll get back in touch with his feelings, this might be the longest oneshot I've written? Oral sex f receiving, fingering f receiving, grinding, slight exhibitionism.

Word Count: 8.5k+

Namjoon thought himself a reasonable person, horny, but reasonable. He never needed to go to extremes to get what he wanted, whether it be an artist he liked to feature on a song, or fuck the sexy girl that kept bringing champagne over to his table at club. She was leaning against the wall of some small maintenance closet, her back was arched as he pounded into her relentlessly.

Once they finished, he could tell she would want more, doing a not so subtle attempt at slipping her phone number into Namjoon’s back pocket. He smirked and walked out after fixing himself up, knowing full well this would be the last time he’d see her, Namjoon never came back for seconds once he had them. It was nothing against the women he slept with, he didn’t used to be this way, but a few instances of heartbreak and a toxic cycle of make up sex can lead one to denounce love all together and give into pure carnal desire.

Such was Namjoon’s case.

When he arrived at his table he noticed his manager, Jin, and his two best friends, Hoseok and Yoongi, did not receive him with the usual knowing smiles, granted, this time he hadn’t waited long to ditch them for some pussy. Namjoon usually gave it about an hour or two into an outing before temporarily or permanently leaving his friends, but he supposed tonight he really needed a quick fix.

“Why do y’all look like you’re mad at me?” he asked, taking a seat and picking at the chips and salsa that had been placed at the center of their table.

The VIP section of the club was nice, it had a great mix of different low and high-grade celebrities, Namjoon liked to think he was making his way up from the low end of the spectrum, now that he’d been picked up a small label and his mixtape would go from SoundCloud to mainstream platforms.

“We’ve barely been here for half an hour, Namjoon-ah,” Jin complained, holding the bridge of his nose between his index finger and his thumb, Namjoon just continued to stare at him confused. “Well, it’s not my fault, every time she was serving us drinks her tits were right there, and I don’t know if you noticed but they were beautifully proportioned,” he smiled cheekily.

His friends didn’t reciprocate it.

“The label signed you up for a reality show,” Jin stated bluntly, Namjoon almost thought he heard a record scratch, “why?”

“They think it’s good exposure for you,” the older shrugged, ���plus it’s like a retreat, you get to stay in a villa with other people and you play games through the summer to win a cash prize.”

“Will I get to keep the cash prize when I win?” he asked, Yoongi and Hoseok sharing a look of annoyance at their friend’s cockiness.

Namjoon had never really been the cocky type, but once his mixtapes and albums started getting hundreds of thousands of streams, and girls seemed to follow him like bees in search of honey, he’d seemed to have his feet a little too far off the ground, and it got worse once he was signed to the label.

“The label is considering it if you create enough buzz around yourself.”

“Well then, I guess I have my work cut out for me,” he smiled, dimples on full display.

You kept refreshing your email every minute, you needed this opportunity, you needed this. It had been your dream since becoming a makeup artist to open your own salon. You were tired of taking clients in the small living room of your studio apartment.

You had been looking for an investor for months when you finally found one that had been interested in your business. He had arranged an interview with you and had asked for a portfolio of your work, just to see what you offered would be worth what you were asking, everything in the interview suggested it was. You were told to wait about a week for them to get back to you, and now that it had been a couple days after the week mark you were starting to get nervous.

The notification sound of a new email made your heart start to race.

From: Hwang Jongdae

Subject: Investment on 2!3! Beauty Salon

Good morning, miss Yn,

After careful consideration of your proposal, we have unfortunately decided that we will not move forward…

You didn’t need to read the rest of the lengthy email, you slammed your laptop shut, immediately reaching for your phone to call your sister, tears inevitably escaped your eyes as soon as she picked up your call.

“Ynie what’s wrong?” She asked, her face showing immediate concern. You explained the situation to her through sobs and snot.

“I don’t know what to do!”

“You could come out with me and Danbi, we are going to the club tonight, maybe you’ll find some rich drunk guy that will invest in your salon.”

You were apprehensive at first, but in the end here you were, in the middle of a night club making somewhat conversation with some guy who’d long taken off his suit jacket and tie, you weren’t planning on anything, you just wanted to someone to converse with since your sister and her girlfriend had ditched you to go dancing.

It wasn’t your fault you had ended up outside making out. You were just sad and needed some cheering up, making out with a stranger sounded like a quick fix, and maybe you’d get a room somewhere and you could enjoy the brief happiness that came with having a one night stand

“Well, I think, your story could make for great reality TV,” his speech was slightly slurred as he pulled away, a sign that the glass he was somehow still holding was definitely not one of the first ones he’d had tonight, “I’m casting this…um…competition show, you get to spend the summer in a pretty villa with pretty people and play games, you can win a SHIT load of money,” he kept leaning toward you, you had to hold back the urge to puke as his breath reeked of alcohol.

You were interested as soon as he mentioned money, you didn’t care what kind of competition it was, you would do anything to make your dream into reality, even if it meant participating in some stupid TV show and dealing with dumb people.

Namjoon was a bit upset about giving up his phone the night before their first day of shooting, but this retreat was meant to be a place where he could disconnect entirely. Which wasn’t an entirely bad idea, the past few weeks was mainly a lot of paperwork and filming his intro for the show, apparently, he’d be the “first to arrive.”

He was happy to see champagne set up on a hightop table, he served himself a glass and waited, other guys started showing up, and then the girls started showing up as well, and to say he was pleasantly surprised was an understatement, all the women were beautiful and when you walked in? 

Namjoon quickly knew that you'd be his target.

He was immediately attracted to you, for a moment he really thought that whoever was up there, if there was anyone, must've put you right there, you were exactly the type he went for when he looked for a quick lay. You were wearing a full body bathing suit, given that the villa was at a beachfront, like shows like these often were. Your hair was down in what he assumed was its natural form, and your make up accentuated your face's features beautifully.

The rest of the girls immediately went to greet you, while the men just stared and spoke amongst themselves about who they liked, it was mostly varied answers. The six girls were the stereotypical body type you’d see in shows like these, although some were definitely on the curvier side, all from different places, the guys were pretty much the same, all well built and mouth-watering.

“Okay so to catch you up to speed…um” one of the girls spoke.

“Yn”

“Right, we have all been scanning the boys and let me tell you, it’s going to be a bloodbath,” she chuckled, as did all the others. She introduced herself as Andrea, and the other girls introduced themselves shortly after.

They walked you over to where the high-tops were, and you would be lying if you said you didn’t notice the way the beautiful dragon-eyed man was devouring you with his gaze, and regardless of your small cover-up skirt and your full body bathing suit, you felt very much naked and aroused. If his gaze alone could do that, what could he do to you?. You had no time to calm your racing heart as he approached, his tall frame towered over you.

“Hey,” his voice sounded like honey, “my name is Namjoon, what’s yours?” he wasn’t subtle at all with the way his eyes trailed up and down your body.

“Yn,” you held your hand out to him “nice to meet you Namjoon,” he took it, bringing your knuckles up to his lips to kiss, you quickly took your hand away.

“What, you don’t like chivalry?”

“You don’t seem like the type to do it genuinely,” you admitted.

“Well, I guess I’ll just have to prove you wrong.”

Your neck was hurting badly, you didn’t realize how close he’d gotten to you, making his stature much more than what you had initially suspected. Namjoon enjoyed the vertical advantage, as it gave him a perfect view to your tits, so beautiful and round, he could feel himself slowly harden, he was ready to tell you to come with him to one of the rooms so you could act upon it, when the host of the show finally showed up.

“Hello guys!” he was a beautiful man as well, did this show only look for good looking people? The producer you’d met said you’d be with pretty people, but this was another level, what a major boost to your ego. “I’m Taehyung, welcome Games in Paradise!” Everyone cheered and clapped as the host gave a pretty boxy smile, “you’ll spend the rest of your summer here, where if you succeed with our challenges, you will win a fantastic prize! Your first challenge will be announced later on by the beach, please explore your home for the next two months and enjoy!” Cheers erupted from the small group again, and everyone dispersed after Taehyung walked away.

And explore you did, the villa was huge, it came fully equipped with everything one could only dream of having. The kitchen was fully stocked with a bunch of fancy appliances for your convenience, the bathrooms were gorgeous and came with both a standing shower and a bathtub, the sleeping area had six queen sized beds and nightstands were full of things to make all the sex everyone was planning on having more enjoyable, from condoms to toys, to lube; a few rooms were locked and you weren’t sure why, but no one really cared, considering everyone starting breaking off into duos and small groups to start enjoying their time there.

(T-4 hours)

Andrea, and yourself were enjoying sun-tanning on the lounge chairs right in front of the pool, your cover-ups long gone as your asses in full display as you laid on your stomach. You were reading a book you had picked out of the villa’s small bookcase, while your newly found friend had her eyes closed.

“So, you and Namjoon huh?” she spoke, you looked up to see her sunglasses down to the tip of her nose as she stared at you suggestively. “He’s hot as fuck, anyone here would stupid not to be turned on by his mere sight,” you shrugged.

“The way he was looking at you I thought he was going to fuck you right then and there!” she giggled. You sighed in response and went back to reading your book, mainly to distract yourself from the godly man you’d met, and the many things you wished he’d do to you, so your wetness wouldn’t ruin your favorite swimsuit.

Namjoon was watching you from far away, two of the guys he’d met on either side of him also watching the girls they so badly wanted. Namjoon would enjoy his time here, whether it was with you, or someone who offered to help with his urges sooner. “Okay,” he stood up from his spot, “y’all can enjoy staring and not touching, I’m going in,” he started walking off when he felt a smack in his ass, surely from Jimin, one of the guys he’d been seating with, and his newest friend.

As he walked down to the lounge chairs he noticed someone else taking your friend away, leaving you alone.

Perfect, no interruptions, he thought.

“Hello again,” greeted you once he was close enough to you, he sat down at the spot your friend was previously laying on, his eyes shamelessly enjoying the view of your ass.

“If we still had our phones I’d tell you to take a picture,” you quipped, Namjoon looked back to your face and found you had been staring at him, he flushed slightly at being caught, but got himself together fairly quickly.

“Can you blame me when you have such a wonderful ass?” he chuckled, his dimples in full display which only made him more attractive in your eyes. The silence wasn’t awkward, but it was definitely filled with tension, you took off your sunglasses, a small smirk on your face “I bet you’d love to fuck it wouldn’t you?”

Namjoon wasn’t expecting such a bold response. He choked on his own saliva and got into a coughing fit as he heard you cackle loudly. When it finally subsided, he noticed you’d left, leaving a water bottle at his feet and a note on the lounge chair you had been seated on not so long ago.

Meet me in the sleeping area ;)

(T- 30 minutes)

There truly was no way of explaining your current predicament. How had you ended up like this so quickly? It was truly all a blur.

All you knew was that you were straddling Namjoon, dry-humping his erection over his swimming trunks, and making out ferociously.

Namjoon felt his dick getting impossibly stiff as you rubbed your pussy against it, your moans swallowed by his lips as he put his tongue down your throat. He played with your tits, massaging one of the mounds with one hand and holding your ass with another. “Can I pull down the straps?” he groaned as you moved to kiss him behind his ear and down his sharp jawline; you managed to muster a pathetic ‘mmhmm’ and you felt your nipples brushing against his chest and then being pinched and rolled between Namjoon’s thumb and index finger.

“Your body is so gorgeous,” he complimented before putting the breast he was playing with in his mouth, making you arch your back and moan as he sucked and licked it to his heart’s content. When he released your breast from his mouth he slowly dragged his hand down to your core, expertly moving your swimsuit aside and using his thumb to rub your already sensitive bundle of nerves, “fuck!” you moaned, he then moved his hand so that his thumb continued to rub your clit as he inserted his finger inside of you, “so wet for me,” he added another, “so tight,” and another “can’t wait to fuck this slick, tight pussy until you can’t walk” his fingers curved deliciously against your walls and you could feel the coil of pleasure tightening inside you.

“Take off your pants,” you managed to plead.

“Hmm?”

“Take off your pants, please, I want to rid-”

“Hello,” a robotic voice interrupted your pleas, scaring you so badly you almost ended up falling off of Namjoons lap. He gently took his fingers out of you and fixed up your swimsuit just in case someone was about to walk in. “Who the fuck is there?!” Namjoon asked sternly, carefully moving you off his lap.

“My name is Lana,” that’s when you finally noticed the small cone on top of a decorative table. “I hope you are enjoying the retreat, please head down to the palapa, it should be next to the place you arrived at today.”

You and Namjoon stared at each other, having a mental conversation on whether you actually wanted to or not, ultimately going back to making out. Namjoon wanted you so badly, and the stupid Lana robot had definitely not made him any harder, but he was sure he’d be back to it once you guys got back in the mood.

“Hurry up, lovebirds.” Lana’s robotic timbre interrupted them yet again, making you fall backwards on the bed “ugh!” You complained, “Let’s go before she becomes more of a buzz kill.”

You sat next to Namjoon, his arm was around your shoulders. You saw Andrea sitting among some of the girls, one of them in particular, Jihee you thought was her name, was throwing daggers at you with her eyes. All you could do was give her a tight-lipped smile, looking away from her as the small cone that had scared you earlier slowly rose up on a platform in the middle of the table.

“Hello, contestants,” her multicolored light blinked as she spoke, “I have gathered information during this first day of the retreat.” Everyone looked at each other, in a very ‘what the fuck’ kind of way because up until she spoke, you had thought her to be a very fancy diffuser, “it has been most insightful.”

“What the fuck does she mean?” Andrea spoke up.

“The purpose of the retreat is to have you create deep, meaningful, emotional connections, instead of the meaningless flings you’ve all been having.”

“So… have platonic relationships with women?” Jimin looked confused, he didn’t have to wait long for an answer.

“To incentivize you not to do this, I have set the prize money to one-hundred thousand dollars.”

‘Oh my god’s’ were spread out through the group, as they all talked about what that amount of money could do for them, you opened up to Namjoon and Andrea who were the people sitting closest to you, “that money could definitely get me my salon!”

“You’re a hairdresser?” Andrea asked.

“Makeup artist, but I’m planning on having a full service salon,” you smiled sweetly, Namjoon found the sparkle in your eye somewhat endearing when you talked about your dream, but, he couldn’t let himself dwell on it for long, he wanted a good lay, not a deep connection, deep connections had only caused him pain.

“However,” Lana interrupted the group’s chatter, “there are conditions to your stay in order to win the prize,” you hoped the collective complaint wasn’t missed on the small cone, although you were sure it was, it was a robot after all.

“There will be no kissing.”

Your eyes widened, as did most of the groups. “Well, she only said kissing right?” Jihee said.

“No heavy petting.” 

“This is fucking stupid,” Daniel, one of the guys Namjoon had been hanging out with spoke.

“No sex of any kind, this includes self-gratification,” the chorus of what’s and no’s that broke out from the group were immediate, and you felt regretful, if you had cut to the chase sooner you could’ve gotten a really good dicking from Namjoon, and now you were all going to be blue balled.

Or were you?

(Day 2)

You woke up the next morning comfy, you and Namjoon decided you would share a bed, and his muscular arms held you tightly, and you felt protected in a way. You hadn’t been one for cuddling in a long time, not since your last relationship almost 4 years ago. It had ended quite tumultuously, especially due to its toxic and suffocating nature. It was mainly why you had one night stands, you didn’t have to cuddle if you didn’t want to, you could just leave right after.

You also didn’t miss Namjoon’s morning wood against your ass, no one was awake yet aside from you, so you decided to be a little risky and pretend like you were adjusting yourself, only to rub up on Namjoon’s dick some more. His grip tightened at your hips, you felt his breath against your ear as he groaned.

“You better stop that, or I’ll fuck you just like this,” he whispered, you could feel yourself getting slick at his words, how badly you wanted him follow through. “Don’t you want the money?” you whispered back, doing your best to hold your moans as he grinded against your ass, “Lana is a dumb fucking robot, how will she know?”

Fuck it.

That’s how you ended up with your shorts and underwear halfway down your legs, and with Namjoon’s fingers deep in your pussy, just like last night. You were biting your pillow and doing your best to hold back your moans. “You ready for me baby?”

Best you could do was reach back and touch him, you wanted to keep quiet just in case someone heard you. He slowly teased your entrance with the tip of his cock, you had yet to see it but when it breached you, you could tell he was thick, and as he slowly fed himself into your pussy, it was ten times harder to stay quiet. Yup. He was definitely big. 

He fucked you slowly, and he had to hold himself back as well, your pussy felt so good and it almost felt like you sucked him in deeper with every thrust, he wanted to rail you, to make you scream and moan so that everyone knew just how good he fuck you. “You’re taking my cock so well,” he praised you, causing you to clench harder on him, “if you keep doing that I’m going to cum,” you answered, “why don’t you hmm? Maybe I’ll pump full of my cum too, and make you keep it in so no one knows what we did,” he bit your earlobe and you almost moaned out loud. The coil in your stomach snapped, and your back arched from the pleasure the beautiful man behind you was giving you, it wasn’t long before he came as well, and just like he said, you were filled to the brim.

After your morning shower and getting yourself ready, you were out and about with the girls hanging out in the pool, it was a hot, sunny day, and you were having fun hanging out with the gals.

“Were you okay this morning, Yn? I thought I kept hearing moan?” Jihee asked, making the rest of the girls turn to you. You and Namjoon had agreed to not tell anyone about your little escapade this morning. “I was having a really bad nightmare, I’m sorry,” you smiled apologetically.

Jihee didn’t seem to believe you, meanwhile the other girls rushed to ensure you were okay, they kept asking what your nightmare was about, thankfully, before the show you’d have a really bad one, so you used that one for your story, they didn’t know it wasn’t recent. However, you didn’t miss the angry looks from Jihee, but you didn’t have much time to dwell on it, as the guys came over to the pool to get you, stating that Lana had called for you all to go to the palapa.

You sat next to Namjoon again, who placed his arm on the armrest behind you. You were staring off, not really setting your eyes on one thing until they landed on his thighs. They were so thick and muscular, you wondered what riding them felt like, perhaps that could be the next thing you and Namjoon sneaked off to do.

“Hello, contestants,” the small cone in the middle of the table spoke, everyone greeted it back. “It has come to my attention someone may have broken the rules,” everyone stared around, except for Namjoon, who was playing with the leftover fabric of the headband you were wearing.

“No one’s done anything Lana,” Jimin stated.

“My cameras picked up movement and audio last night, are you sure?” The girls stared at you so quick you were worried they would break their necks, “Yn? You said you had a bad nightmare last night didn’t you?” Jihee’s voice was laced with cattiness, and you felt a slight tug to your headband.

“My cameras picked Namjoon, speaking also.”

“Her nightmare sounded pretty bad, I was whispering in her ear to calm her down, nothing happened,” the way he lied so effortlessly made you feel weird, and you remembered why you’d been single for so long, you didn’t want to be in another situation where you were gaslighted and lied to.

You were grateful that you had kept your movement so slow and subtle.

“Just a warning, if you are found breaking the rules, depending on what you do, you will lose money.”

All hell broke loose then.

(Day 14)

You had managed to go this far without you or Namjoon making a single sexual move, and it was killing him not being able to plow you like he wanted to. It was good because you weren’t the first to lose the group money, Daniel and Jihee were surprisingly the firsts to do so, Jihee had given head to Daniel twice in one day, losing twelve thousand dollars. Later on, Andrea and Jimin kissed a few times, losing six thousand dollars.

Namjoon thought that building an emotional connection was dumb, he’d done that before, and each time it ended in a heartbreak worse than the last, his most recent relationship being what made him swear off on relationships. The girl he had dated was someone he’d loved, he’d do everything for her, every song was for her, any money made from his music went to both his and her bills, he almost dropped his best friends for her. 

And then he found out she’d been cheating on him all along.

It absolutely broke him, he couldn’t understand why he wasn’t good enough, he’d always been a gentleman, he would spoil her, love her, why wasn’t that enough? 

He didn’t care anymore, when he had an urge he would go to the clubs, or even after a gig he would pull a fan he found hot and he would fuck them until he was satisfied, leaving shortly after, or if he was craving something more intimate he would cuddle them after for a little while, no deep conversation, no sob stories shared, no number exchange. No strings attached. It was the only way not to get hurt.

You were so nice, such a good fuck. He almost wished you had met a few years before, then again would he have looked your way? He always seemed to be dating women who only wanted him for his money, women who never appreciated the little things. You did. He’d made you coffee this morning, using the keurig in the kitchen because he knew he would burn the villa down if he did it like some of the others were making it. He did it because you had become somewhat friends, sexual tension aside, your conversations were great, even if they were forced at first to distract you both from how badly you wanted the other, maybe he’d leave this with you as a good friend. All the girls cooed at the nice gesture, and Namjoon visibly cringed “it’s just fucking coffee it doesn’t mean anything.”

Oh, how those words hurt you.

You had unfortunately developed a crush for the rapper. He was so incredibly smart, he had such wisdom and insight, and his face card was crazy. You had felt horny the first few days, after your small rendezvous, but that subsided once you had more and more conversations, you really like his brain. However, how you felt didn’t matter, he didn’t want you like that, you were someone he fucked once and that he wants to fuck again, nothing more, nothing less. So, maybe it was a good thing that new players came into the scene.

Lana announced them, and it wasn’t long before you spotted them walking down the beach, two men. Both men were absolutely ripped, one of them had a full sleeve and piercings, making you salivate at the sight, the other didn’t have any tattoos, but he had a somewhat big nose and a beautiful smile. When they arrived they quickly introduced themselves as Christopher and Jungkook. The latter seemed to have immediately set an eye on you as he immediately started conversing with you and tried to get to know you better. You and the others had to explain the rules to the newcomers, they weren’t exactly thrilled, but they got over somewhat quickly.

“Ynie, do you want to go talk somewhere else alone?” the doe-eyed man asked, and how could you say no to that pretty smirk. Namjoon didn’t really like it as he saw you walk away with the younger man.

“You can’t talk to her the way you did this morning and expect her not to move on,” Andrea spoke, Jimin giggled next to her. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, I don’t care,” he clarified, making your friend roll her eyes.

“Attention, contestants,” Lana’s voice broke through the various conversations, “there will be a special event happening near the garden tomorrow, please go there in the morning.”

“What’s in it for us anyway?” Chris spoke up.

“The person who shows the most progress and success will win a date with a person of their choosing,” now that changes things.

(Day 15)

Without words. That’s what the workshop was called.

Lana had paired all of you up, and you had ended up being paired with Jungkook, whilst Namjoon was paired with Jihee. Namjoon wasn’t one to be possessive of the people he fucked, but it wasn’t that he fucked you before, you were his friend, and Jungkook seemed like he was up to no good, what with the big deceitful doe eyes.

You were excited though, it was a fresh start for you, maybe Jungkook will be able to give you that deep emotional connection you were supposed to look for. You hadn’t wanted it at first, but your growing feelings for Namjoon along with all the workshops you had done so far helped you realize that. This one in particular had two stages, the first one was picking up on your partner’s body language. You had to go for a hug with Jungkook showing a specific emotion, and he would have to guess it later, that emotion was excitement.

Once Lana gave you the go, you ran toward the pretty man and hopped on him, wrapping your legs around him. He quickly caught you, wrapping one arm around you and using his other hand to hold one of your legs up, you both were so giggly, and everyone in the group could tell you were enjoying each other’s company. Namjoon was hugging Jihee but he wasn’t putting that much effort in it, he was watching you and Jungkook, and the stupid shit eating grin he had whilst you hugged. How badly he wanted to be the one you had your legs wrapped around, he was getting a little upset at how long you were hugging this newcomer for, considering everyone had stopped except for you two.

“We don’t have all day!” Namjoon remarked, his tone was bitter. You didn’t realize you had embraced Jungkook for so long, you had connected a lot during his first day, you talked until the high hours of the night, so you felt good with him, it was easy. You let go and walked back, whispering I’m sorry’s to the group for the hold up. “The next stage is soul gazing, you will stare at your partner in silence, it encourages you to see and connect with your partner on a deeper emotional level,” Lana said.

The silence of everyone was quite comfortable, and watching Jungkook you felt such warmth and kindness emanating from him, and you also saw him tear up a bit. “You have a beautiful soul Ynie,” he admitted, and like the Grinch, you felt your heart grow three sizes from those words. Namjoon, however, was seething, who the hell is guy anyway, why is he making you swoon all the sudden? It was bullshit, absolute bullshit. After the workshop was finally over, Lana announced the winner, you.

“Yn, who do you choose to go on this date with,” the little cone asked, and everyone’s eyes were on you. The expectations were skewed, some were expecting you to pick Namjoon, and some were expecting you to pick Jungkook based on the past two days alone.

“Jungkook,” he had the prettiest smile, “wanna go on this date with me?”

“Yes!” He was very enthusiastic, giving you a quick side hug, the girls rushed to your side to help you get ready.

Namjoon was with the guys as they all watched Jungkook getting ready, he wasn’t very excited about the prospect of you going on a date with someone, he wanted you all for himself to enjoy and he couldn’t have that if you went with Jungkook. He heard Jimin giggling, noticing he’d been staring at him this whole time. “What?”

“Good thing you don’t have laser vision, poor Jungkookie would be dead if you did,” he continued to chuckle.

“I’m not even looking at him.”

“Give me a fucking break hyung, it’s obvious you are jealous of the guy, I mean just today’s workshop alone shows that,” Jimin explained, “if you like Yn you should shoot your shot.”

Did Namjoon like you? I mean he was definitely not repulsed by you, you were a smart, pretty girl. But how would he know you wouldn't use him? Sure you didn't seem like you would but what about when you were out in the real world?

“I'll be back,” Jungkook had a big grin on his face, “wish me luck!”

As Namjoon watched the youngest out of the men walk out, he decided he would get dressed himself, and get his frustration out with the punching bag at their designated workout area. Watching as he met you at the door to the villa. You were wearing a simple gray summer dress and it complimented your skin tone beautifully.

Jungkook was a little confused on why Namjoon was so adamantly upset at him, but he couldn’t worry about him right now, not when he was so excited to see you. You were incredibly nice to him when he arrived, and your conversation had been so wonderful when he’d pulled you aside. You talked about so many things, where you were from, what you did for work, what your goals were.

“I’m a tattoo artist! I’ve drawn most of the pieces I’ve gotten done,” he took off the shirt he was wearing, the white tank top underneath being the only thing keeping you from seeing his abs. His sleeve was beautiful, so incredibly colorful and full of life, he explained most of his tattoos, including the ones that were meant as cover-ups for others. Your eyes got lost in the way his muscles flexed as they trailed up his arm, eventually your gaze ended up meeting his.

He had stars in his eyes, and his smile seemed so incredibly genuine, he cocked his head to the side as he stared at you, “can I ask you something?” you nodded, “do you and Namjoon hyung have something going on? I don’t want to move forward with pursuing you if you are not available,” the question left you a bit stunned and you thought it through before deciding to trust Jungkook with the truth.

“We’ve had some serious sexual tension since we got here,” you admitted, “no one knows this but we actually fucked on our second night here,” the pretty man in front of you deflated a bit, and then it seemed to hit him, “so, not even the weird cone thing knows?”

“I mean she probably knows now,” you chuckled humorlessly. “Anyway, after that we agreed not to tell anyone, and we started building a friendship, I started sort of catching feelings, and I thought he was too, he would do little nice things for me, and then say something mean after,” you sighed, “so I’m not sure about him as person.”

Jungkook was a great listener, he stayed quiet and gave you his undivided attention the entire time you were talking, and now he sat pensive, looking up at the stars as he tried to come up with something to tell you, “I think you are really cool, Yn, and I think you deserve someone who will want you in every way, not just because you’re stunning” you blushed slightly at his words, “I would love to get to know you better and explore something with you, but if you want Namjoon that badly, then I don’t want to get hurt, going after girls who are emotionally unavailable or attached to someone else is exactly why I’ve become a man whore.”

You were shocked at his candor and honesty, but it endeared you to him and made you envy him. Why couldn’t you have your shit together? Why were your boundaries so unclear? Worst of all, a pretty guy who had treated you with nothing but respect wanted you… but your feelings for Namjoon were more, from the small coffee offering to conversations he would have with you about books you both had read, to deep conversations about each other’s life.

“You are a good person Jungkook.”

“But I’m not the kind of person you want.” You gave him a saddened smile, “I’m fine with being your friend Ynie, you are a good person too, and in time Namjoon will realize it too,” the night continued on with so much laughter, Jungkook felt like a long lost friend, and you were happy that life had brought him to you.

Namjoon was not happy. The people in the villa watched as he beat the absolute shit out of the punching bag in front of him, his jaw was clenched, and his mind was playing all the possibilities of what may happen on your date with Jungkook.

Did you do any of the things you'd done with him? Did you kiss him? Did you like him? Will you come back with a stronger connection and leave him to rot?

If you did he wouldn't blame you, he deserves every one of those things, especially after the way he'd treated you, all hot and cold. It truly isn't his fault, so many strings of wrong relationships, with the last one being a constant cycle of toxicity and gaslighting, which Namjoon can now admit he was a part of. Him and his last partner weren't good for each other, but they loved each other so intensely they didn't want to let go.

Love hard, hurt harder, you know?

He heard your unmistakable laughter along with his, and he started punching his bag harder. How long had he been standing here punching this poor bag? He didn't care, currently he was imagining Jungkook’s head on a stake.

“Namjoon?” Your voice pulled him out of his thoughts, he turned his gaze toward, whilst still in a punching stance, “can we talk?” Namjoon straightened up at that. He kinda liked the way you were checking how sweaty his body was, he didn't like your sudden frown however.

“Your knuckles are bleeding.” 

Were they? Surely he wasn't punching the bag that long that hard. But when he pulled up his hands to look at the damage he couldn't help but cackle.

“I guess they are.”

“Why don't you go take care of them and then we can talk, hmm?” You gave him a tight, close-lipped smile.

Fuck no.

There was no way he was letting you leave after you were the reason he'd been punching this bag, not when he'd spent the last however long wondering, overthinking, what you and Jungkook would possibly be doing. There was simply no way. It was almost a reflex the way his hand wrapped around your wrist, you barely had time to look at him before he pulled you away to a secluded corner of the villa, cornering you against the wall with both of his arms caging you in, droplets of sweat all over his body. 

It was crazy, the way your body seemed to respond so quickly to him, he heard the small whimper, and saw how you put your legs together, and fuck sake the way you were looking at him was like you were begging him to…

He wanted to do this right though. He moved away slightly, giving you some space to breathe, “what'd you wanna talk about Yn?”

“My date with Jungkook went well,” okay maybe not what he was expecting.

“Good for you?”

“I think we'll be great friends, him and I,” Namjoon suddenly felt himself taking a deep breath of relief. “Really?” The space he'd given you was gone again.

He hoped you could see just how affected he also was by you, how his own dick was stirring, having your body so close, having you so close. You must’ve sat there staring at each other for a few minutes, Namjoon’s gaze going back and forth between your lips and your eyes, there was so much he wanted to say, so much he wanted to do to you, with you. He leaned in slowly, your height difference making him bend down slightly, your eyes fluttered shut and he stopped just close enough that your noses were brushing together, you were so beautiful. Before you could ask him what was taking him so long he connected your lips in a delicious, passionate kiss, your tongues explored each other’s mouths and your hands held onto his shoulders.

Namjoon was the first to pull away, only to move his kisses down to your jaw and eventually your neck, causing you to let out little moans, they were the prettiest sound to Namjoon. He found himself reaching for the shorts you had worn under your gray dress, “may I take these off?” he asked, his eyes hooded and filled with want, all you could do was let out a pathetically high-pitched ‘yes’. He hooked his thumbs at the waistband, dragging your underwear down with it, he watched them pool at your feet and then knelt down, “is this okay?” you felt his breath against your center, making you squirm slightly.

“Yes.”

He dove right in, licking the length of your slit, groaning at how aroused you were and he had barely done anything to you. He moved on to your clit, wrapping his lips around the bundle of nerves and sucking gently, causing your moans to become slightly louder, “you gotta keep quiet for me baby,” he instructed you when he briefly pulled away to catch his breath, the sight of the lower half of his face glistening with your wetness making you almost want to orgasm right then. He started eating you out again, this time adding his fingers to the mix, and you had to cover your mouth to make sure your moans wouldn’t be heard all over the villa. You felt yourself closer and closer to your climax and Namjoon could too, your walls squeezed his fingers tightly almost as if wanting to keep them prisoner, and he wanted nothing more than to replace them with his cock, especially because it was so painfully hard. You wanted that too, you wanted nothing more than for this to go all the way, but you felt that in order for what you wanted to work, things had to be different.

“Namjoon, stop” he immediately moved away from you, gently removing his fingers. You took a moment to catch your breath, as he slowly pulled up your shorts and underwear and fixed your dress for you, “did I hurt you?” he asked, holding your hips, looking genuinely concerned at your sudden request. He had an almost boyish charm when this side of him was shown to you, so sweet, so gentleman-like, why would he not be like this always?

“No, I just,” you sighed, putting your hands on his chest, “I like you Namjoon, I would like for us to try and get to know each other, for us to get the chance to see if this could go anywhere, but I’m not sure if that’s what you want, and I need to know, because I don’t want to be pining for someone that just wants me for sex.”

Your confession surprised him, he hadn’t thought that all your conversations and your sexual tension would lead to anything more than maybe a friends with benefits kind of situation. However, considering how he's been reacting to the possibility of you and Jungkook together, maybe he did want to explore more.

“I'd love to get to know you more Ynie,” he flashed his dimpled smile at you, and you felt your heart fluttering. Jumping into his arms for a hug in which Namjoon made sure to hold you extra tight. Maybe this was the beginning of his healing.

(Day 27)

The rest of the stay at the villa was great for you two, Namjoon was so very thoughtful, he made you fresh coffee every morning, and you guys had a reading date every afternoon, where you shared the big love seat by the pool, laying back on his chest as he held whatever book you were reading in front of both of you.

People weren't too happy once Lana deducted the money for your offense after your date with Jungkook, and they were even more distraught when they found out what shenanigans you'd been up to on your second night there, you had lost them so much money the price money was down to forty-five thousand dollars. Jihee almost jumped you, thankfully Jungkook was there to hold her back. Speaking of, you ended up having another girl show up, a sweet blonde named Maddie who immediately caught Jungkook’s attention. It was great seeing your friend happy. You guys would have chats by the pool when you got a chance and update each other on the happenings of your relationships. 

Lana had also been a bit more liberal by giving you all bracelets, when they lit up you’d be allowed to kiss the other person, this would only happen if your emotional connection had been proven to strong and genuine.

Although you and Namjoon were still very much in the eyes of everyone, “getting to know each other,” that would all change three days before you left the villa. You honestly had no clue when he had the time, but when Lana announced you were going on a date with Namjoon, everyone seemed to be beaming at the idea. He told you to dress nice. So you opted for a two-piece white set, with a loose halter top, white loose shorts, and wedges. Turns out you were going on a boat ride.

“Oh my god Joon,” you beamed as he helped you sit down at the front of the boat, where an assortment of sushi was waiting for you. You sailed along, enjoying the sun on your skin, and the beautiful man that kept feeding you sushi, especially since even if he tried to show you how to use chopsticks you still couldn’t keep the sushi in your grasp for long. You talked some more about life, and you ended up opening up to one another.

“My last relationship was like, three years ago,” he started, “she basically only wanted me for my money, but I didn’t really notice, I just wanted to love and be loved, and I thought that I was being good, I spoiled her, gave her everything and she still cheated on me, so I swore off relationships and became a man-whore,” he chuckled bitterly. “My last relationship was four years ago, it was very toxic, he basically made me feel bad for not always wanting to be on his dick, or because I spent time with my friends and not him, he went around telling everyone our business but always left out how awful he was to me.” You had been staring at the horizon, the sun slowly setting bringing golden hour to you.

“Eventually when we broke up, he tried getting back together with me, and when I said no, he started shit-talking my friends and myself, and all I could do was watch as they got tired of dealing with me and my drama, so now I only had my sister to rely on,” you felt Namjoon’s hand on your cheek, he watched with sorrowful expression, “you were crying.”

“I swore off relationships after that too, I have never felt more alone than during that time, and I didn’t want to feel like that again.”

“I know at first I didn’t do the best job at not making you feel that way, but I hope I can help you feel less lonely,” Namjoon said, still caressing your cheeks, you felt your wrist vibrate, seeing the big green checkmark on your watch, Namjoon had the same. You were ready to lean in to kiss him, but he stopped you.

“Before we kiss,” he started, “getting to know you has been amazing, I find myself learning some much about myself and slowly coming back to who I was before all the bullshit. I want us to be real, I want to go back to the real world and make it work with you, would you be my girlfriend Ynie?” Your cheeks hurt from how wide you were smiling, you never really thought of yourself getting back into a relationship, you had sworn you were too damaged for something like that, but maybe this was the start to your healing. “I want to make it work in the real world too, I’d love to be your girlfriend,” his dimpled smile gave you butterflies, and as his other hand reached your cheek to fully cup your face, he closed the space between you with a kiss that had been different from the ones before, the others were hungry, desperate, and horny, this one was slow, passionate, and breath-taking. You felt your wrist vibrate again, making you pull away much to your dismay.

“I’m excited for the outside world together,” his gaze was sweet and soft, something you had never seen. He laid back, opening his arms up so you could cuddle.

“Me too,” you smiled, quickly moving your picnic stuff out of the way and scooting over, you laid your head on his chest, you heard his heart beating so fast and so loud, “your heart is about to beat out of your chest,” you giggled.

“I was so fucking nervous,” you looked up at him, “but I am happy I think, hopefully we’ll make it through.”

Fingers crossed.

[quicksilversnails]

Making a post compiling some of my thoughts on the new Pristine Cut music broken down by chapter because I have. many thoughts and thought maybe people might find them interesting!

The Cage's whole sound was so instantly memorable to me. I love all the different metallic percussion used: perfectly in-theme for a world envelloped in chains

There's soft yet eerie metallophones like the mock birdsong of chains, clanging bells like a death knell

It's mixed with shrill strings: reminscent of the scraping sound that plays in All Eyes On Me as the Prisoner cuts her head off, but quiet and distant, like a haunting memory that repeats itself in your mind

I also love the way the sound echoes - giving the impression of the emptiness of the woods & cabin

An Open Door pulls at my heart: the soft piano and drawn out sound stands in contrast to everything leading up to it

It plays whether you break the pattern by leaving or perpetuate the pattern and watch your dance, so the contrast of it feels representitive to me of a shift in perspective (either the Princess realizing her own control, or you realizing your lack of it)

Our Happy Ending is so damn evocative I need to break it down

It's so. drawn. out. Every note drags, with every instrument coming in at slightly different times

It has a really hollow sound to it: where Damsel's tracks have piano, strings, and woodwinds, Our Happy Ending is reduced to only the strings. There's a lot of full and rich music out there written for strings, but this (intentionally) isn't one of them.

Instead of playing every note in each chord, the instruments frequently double the same notes (just in different octaves) and omit other notes, making the sound even emptier

The arpeggio of the Princess' motif (which is prominent in Damsel's tracks) does appear around 1:30 in, but for a lot of the track the melody is very static, mostly stepping between a few nearby notes, as if it's too exhausted to do anything more complicated

It doesn't even loop smoothly in-game: there's a record scratch and a few seconds of silence before it continues, like it's forcing itself to keep going through the motions

It all sounds serene when the chapter begins but the more you listen the more deeply lethargic it becomes. It did so much to make this chapter even more viscerally uncomfortable for me

And then there's I Meant It. What is there to say. (Actually I do have some things to say)

It's noticeably in 3 (which I think is unique to this track), giving it an appropriately dance-like feeling

While it starts beautifully simple, the embellishments added to the theme as it goes on bring a sense of playfulness, reflecting the energy that grows in your dance the longer it goes on

The Princess & The Dragon!!! I speculated about this one when it was teased a few months back and it was so gratifying to hear it in context! I was very wrong about the route it plays in but I absolutely caught onto how it's an inversion of the typical setup!

The biggest example of this is how the main melody of the theme is the same as The Princess' main theme, but played in reverse! (and with a different rhythm)

The piano also plays descending lines, as opposed to the ascending lines usually heard in other tracks in this game (a good example is in The Unknown Together)

This all reflects how the chapter itself reverses the setup of the game by putting the player in the perspective of the Princess (maybe this is the melody she's used to hearing?)

The call and response nature between the humming (done by Amelia aka the Shifting Mound vocalist!!!) & flute invokes the Princess & Dragon themselves: the melody would be incomplete without both parts

It's such a warm theme too - where The Princess has a quiet somberness to it, The Princess and The Dragon feels rich and vibrant - it feels right

The Life-Taker takes the new motif from The Princess and The Dragon and puts it in the minor key of the World-Ender (I also really like the way the names of these tracks parallel each other)

Like World-Ender it's tense and uneasy, but it plays at a slower tempo, with plenty of long pauses and empty space in the melody: it feels appropriate for the silent, staring body standing in front of you

It also feels more static to me than World-Ender does with its constantly moving piano, which is reflective of how little power you have in the scenario. As TLQ, you have to make the decisions, but as the Princess, the most you can do is watch and wait in suspense

Also this is more of an audio editing thing but I ADORE the way World-Ender cuts in when you switch back mid-chord - really hammers in how your perspective is being forcibly shifted right in the middle of the action

The reversed motif returning when you leave with the Princess or merge with her again is also very sweet: whether you're sharing a body anymore the connection and understanding you've gained remained :)

I love all the new Fury tracks! They're so gritty

I'm happy they kept a similar sound to The Fury's track in the base game because it has such a cool and unique vibe and I was mildly worried that the process of being unwound would just lead the droning sounds of TLQ (still cool, just less unique)

I like how the music still cuts out when you get initially unwound, leaving just faint buzzing - it keeps the shock of that moment from the base game but keeps you grounded in the present by denying you the silence of death. Where in the base game Fury denying you death barely mattered, now you can feel it down to the unwound yet still present soundtrack

I like how Hand In Claw (which plays when escaping the tunnel with Den) introduces this growling sort of guitar sound, rumbling like the sound of caving rocks

It keeps the fast, driving percussive elements of the other Den tracks but gives it a more obvious melodic shape, as you realize that there's more to her after all

It sounds totally distinct from the other Den tracks in general, and that makes sense since its respective path is also unique among the many, many variants of the chapter

The live rendition of The Apotheosis was a fun surprise - I heard it play and just went "...that's different right?"

I still love the way the theme begins as the Apotheosis herself unfurls from the cabin: it's just as breathtaking as it was the first time

I was wondering before release how this track could be expanded on when it felt like such a transcendent and insurpassable theme (it's also used for The Shifting Mound after all) - but the game actually doesn't build on it, just letting it play, only cutting from it in extreme moments. I think that's kind of nice: the power and awe of the track speaks for itself

Meanwhile A Tapestry Undone is essentially The Apotheosis without the piano, orchestra, or any of the instrumentals that give it its sense of power

The vocals sound hollow and distant - she seems farther away, her influence less overwhelming, whether due to dissociative pain or because in that moment you're compelled to lash out at her in spite of whatever godlike power she might have had over you

In-game, the drones of TLQ are also faintly audible, which makes sense since the Apotheosis is tearing at the walls of the construct (ie. you)

[its-all-papaya]

oh. OH. the hollow hereafter completely DESTROYED me 😭😭 beautifully written; reading that one hurt!! i'm amazed by the way you capture the energies they both give off so perfectly, i was so hooked on the story i couldn't stop reading. thank you for the amazing work!! 🫶🏻 for the kiss prompt game: can we maybe get landoscar + 29 or 33? 🌟

AAAAAHHHH the hollow hereafter was pain indeed. glad you enjoyed, though ! thank you for the compliment !

shameless plug plug plug: read my fic 👉👈

as an apology, I present to you: even more post-hungary landoscar ! but much fluffier this time. hope you enjoy 🫶

send me a ship and a number and i will write a kiss

33. as an apology | landoscar | 1.5k (absolute lmao)

In the dark of his Monaco apartment, Oscar can finally admit it to himself: he’s scared. The creep of fear had been there from the jump as he’d finished the final lap in Hungary, but he’d figured he owed it to himself to put it off in favor of other things. Elation, for example. He’d won a grand prix. It was a moment he’d been dreaming of since he was a child and he’d only ever get the one maiden win, so he’d shoved everything prickly to the background and focused on the glow of victory in his chest instead.

See, Oscar is good at compartmentalizing. His friends in primary school had joked that he’d been born with emotions missing. For a while, he’d figured he’d grow into it – that his feelings would stretch as he did, and he was just a bit behind – but it had taken him until after his first single-seater to realize there was nothing lacking in the first place. He feels things. Probably just as strongly as everyone else. It’s just that the world isn’t entitled to experience every emotion along with him. If he can share the good things when he sees fit and save the less-than-good to deal with on his own time, Oscar figures he shouldn’t look a gift horse in the mouth about it.

And honestly, there’s probably nothing to worry about. Lando was moody, but he’d been moody after every race for weeks. Just because this week’s letdown had starred Oscar specifically, just because Lando had spent the whole flight with his hood up, forehead tilted against Carlos’ shoulder as they laughed together at whoever’s phone was funniest, that doesn’t mean there’s anything seriously wrong. They’re good at giving each other space, he and Lando. Oscar likes to think he can read his partner pretty well. And Lando had congratulated him – on the track and more than once after. Besides, Alex has known Lando forever, and he’d taken one look at the lay of things in the airport – Lando with Carlos, Oscar half a dozen seats away – and cracked a smirk about it: “At least if somebody’s sleeping on the couch tonight, it’s gotta be him, right?” Alex wouldn’t have been joking about it to Oscar if he thought Lando was really upset about anything other than the way the chips had fallen.

But the thing is… neither of them is on the couch. Because Lando is home, and Oscar is here, in his nearly empty apartment in his nearly empty bed. Past 5 a.m., awake, restless. Oscar’s lived in Monaco over two months, but he’s only spent a handful of nights in his own place. It had felt silly, at the time, piling boxes in the living room knowing full-well that half his closet and all of his heart already had a home in the city. This lease might have Oscar’s name on it, but his home in Monaco is about five blocks north, probably sleeping with his mouth open and his phone dying next to him, nobody to remind him to put it on the charger.

They’ve been fine. They’ll be fine. But (and this is the part he’s been avoiding) fine as teammates is different than fine as partners. Patting Oscar on the helmet and smiling for a group photo is not the same as curling up next to him in bed and saying I love you as one of them switches off the lamp. Being fine and being good are different, and the minute Lando had pulled up to Oscar’s building and told him to have a good night, that he’d see him soon, Oscar had stopped being either. Lando is sulky after bad losses and he gets upset with Oscar about things dumber than team orders, but they don’t sleep apart outside of race weekends. Oscar doesn’t sleep here. And he’s the littlest bit scared that he’s going to have to learn how.

Time passes. Oscar worries. He can see the sun rising through the cracks in his blackout curtains by the time he hears the front door open and close. He’s managed something close to sleep by then, though, drifting and fuzzy and outside rational thought, so he doesn’t immediately clock the noise as anything to react to. It’s not until his bedroom door clicks open as well that his brain comes back online for real. He lifts his head from the pillow with a sharp breath in, but there’s really only one person it’s going to be. There are two keys to his place and one of them is on the nightstand with his wallet and his phone and the other went home in the pocket of a man he’s never turned away.

Lando’s soft around the edges in the early morning light. His hand is a little chilly when it lands on Oscar’s cheek, gentling him back into the pillow. Oscar goes down without a fight, always easy for anything Lando’s asking of him. He does lift the covers a little, though, hoping his eyes are pathetic enough in the dawn to get him what he’s after. Lando smiles, soft, and thumbs over Oscar’s cheekbone, chases it with his lips. Now that his partner’s back in his proximity, Oscar’s exhaustion sinks in for real, like it had been waiting for permission. His eyelids are so heavy, thoughts slow and only on the edge of sensical by the time Lando gets out of his sweatshirt and his shoes and finally – finally – slides into bed beside him.

Under the circumstances, Oscar has to remind his sleep-stupid brain that he’d literally won a grand prix just over 12 hours back, because he wants to label the relief of having Lando back in his arms better than anything he’s ever felt. Better than any trophy he’s ever held against his chest. He wraps both arms around Lando and draws him closer, closer still until Lando’s head is tucked safely under his chin and Lando’s thigh is nestled comfortably between both of Oscar’s own.

They give it a minute, just breathing together, before Lando smooths his palm up Oscar’s chest and over his shoulder. He draws back just enough to look Oscar in the eyes, then leans back in to kiss him gently. He’s indulgent with it, lips and tongue sleepy-soft against Oscar’s, palm cupping Oscar’s jaw and thumb swiping back and forth, back and forth, towards the place where their mouths meet.

“I’m sorry,” Lando says when they finally part for a second. He presses another long kiss to Oscar’s lips. “For, like… lots of things. But mainly this, right now. Can’t sleep without you.”

Oscar chases his lips once, twice, then breathes in for a four-count, out for a four-count. Lando wrinkles his nose against the puff of Oscar’s breath against his face.

“Can’t either,” Oscar settles on, scritching his nails through the back of Lando’s hair just to watch his eyes go half-lidded with the feel of it. He knows Lando. He’s known Lando. “Thank you for coming. I’m happy you’re here.”

They’re both bleary-eyed, on the cusp of 24 straight hours of holding their eyes open and deciding how they’re allowed to look at one another, but Lando’s gaze starts edging towards the sharp, mischievous place that makes Oscar’s heart beat slightly out of rhythm.

“You know what else you are?” Lando asks, and he’s back to placing wet kisses down Oscar’s neck, hints of tongue every other, like he can sense when Oscar’s thoughts are starting to get coherent again.

Oscar tips his chin up, helpless, “What’s that?”

Lando takes his time dragging his lips back up, up to meet Oscar’s own.

“A race winner,” he whispers low against Oscar’s mouth, and his next kiss is deeper, dirty. His fingers dip low on Oscar’s hip and Oscar wants to, he does, but he can’t help the yawn that hits him as Lando’s lips trace back down his jaw.

Lando laughs into his throat about that. He presses a trio of closed-mouth kisses across Oscar’s shoulder, down to his clavicle, then noses back up and kisses him on the chin.

“Sleepy one?” Lando’s eyes are sparkling in the almost-darkness.

“Mm,” Oscar agrees, only a little mournful. “In the morning?”

“It is the morning,” Lando says, smirk on his face.

Oscar shoves at Lando’s chest, rolls his eyes, because who’s fault is that?

“In the afternoon, then, unless you’re going to be annoying about that too.”

Lando’s gaze goes soft again and he shakes his head a little. He kisses Oscar once more before settling back against his chest, like he can’t help it. Oscar knows the feeling.

They’re both quiet long enough that Oscar’s convinced Lando’s fallen asleep, but just as he’s about to follow, Lando’s knuckles drag up his belly and knock against his chest: “Oscar?”

His accent’s thicker when he’s drowsy. Oscar loves the way it sounds around his name. He brushes his lips across Lando’s forehead and squeezes his hip, “Hm?”

“Love you,” Lando says.

“You too,” Oscar says back.

The Monaco sun keeps rising, but they both sleep deeply, content.

[muchmossymess]

A Revali Fanfic Recommendation

I urge you all to put your life on hold for a moment and go read this brilliant fanfiction:

A hundred years after the fall of Hyrule to Calamity Ganon, and the hero Link has finally sealed the darkness and freed the Divine Beasts of their curse - and with it, their pilots are finally free. But not just as spirits. Awake once again, the four Champions of old have a second chance at life and must re-adjust to this future world with their decendants. Well - all except for one Champion, who doesn't have a decentant. Or even anyone left alive that knew him. Teba is happy to take in his revived ancient idol as one of his own, but sharing a living space with a hundred year old Champion with an ego the size of his divine beast and who might have some issues he's not willing to share can be a lot sometimes and they don't always see eye to eye. Revali thinks he should return to leading the new generation of Rito warriors. Teba thinks this actual child should never have been leading warriors or fighting a war in the first place. Tulin is just excited to have the infamous Rito Champion in his house.

Beautifully written and lovingly crafted, this baby can fit so much trauma and whump into the most gut-wrenching and heat-breakingly found family story you may ever read. 130,000 words, 36 chapters (and still regularly updating!), and a CRIMINALLY low number of kudos. If that doesn't sway you, here is some gushing under the cut <3

You think you've read a champions revival fic before? This will have you saying "how the FUCK have I not seen this before" and completely change the way you view everything (mild exaggeration. m i l d). We have all of your favourite revali tropes: being a dick and getting owned, being a dick and being right, getting own and never showing those feelings to the light of day, getting killed, getting unkilled and loved, showing emotions but being super weird and revali about it, bonding with tulin!!, bonding with teba and the rest of rito village, bonding with the champions, having panic attacks and trauma, vah medoh being the best ever, being a terrifying force of nature, being an idiot kid, and so much more!

Do you like grumpy dad teba? Do you like revali swallowing his pride? Do you like revali immediately spitting his pride back up and being a bitchy bird? Do you like mipha and revali as gossip buddies? Do you like the complete and utter fool revali makes of himself everytime he so much as hears the name link? Do you like people seeing right through his facade and calling him out on it?

AND NOT TO MENTION THE WORLD BUILDING??? this fic is so in depth of the political climates, racism, lore, changes in culture during times of war, colonisation, biology of the races and just fucking everything?? It adds so much life to the world of hyrule I am genuinely shocked at how much this person clearly loves these games (botw/totk/aoc) and they are able to incorporate all of this amazing information in a way that flows so naturally and just hhrnngngg I am fucking insane about it. THE SCIENCE, oh my god how did I forget all the wonderous thoughts surrounding the divine beasts and the sheikah tech, oh god and how they write the magic system? Guys I swear it's so good.

Characterisation is on point, everyone feels so full of life and that they are reacting exactly how you would expect them too, and they just seem so real, like they are right beside you as you're reading. The author does an IMMACULATE job of drawing you in and making you feel a part of the story, all the while being just beautifully written?

Don't get me started on the attention to rito culture. I have never seen someone pour so much love into something before, genuinely on of the greatest things I've seen. I've always had a fascination over how the races of hyrule view each other, similarities and differences, how their cultures and histories intertwine, and conflicts that may arise. But oh. my. god. My jaw was on the floor every time, it's so rich and beautiful but not without the horrors (and oh god, they are Horrors tm) and again it's just so real!!!

Be warned, however, that there is gore and viscera and terror and hurt and war crimes and death (duh), but for each terrible thing to happen it is repaid tenfold in love and kindness somewhere down the line. (Unless you are into hurt no comfort, then sorry buddy!) It is a beautiful narrative and the exploration of trauma and self is mind boggling and just go read it!!! 😭 😭 😭 I just love this fic so much, it has instantly sky-rocketed to one of my top 3 favourite fics I've ever read, and I'm so grateful to have found it and now be along for the ride that if I could bring that to one more person then by god I will fucking do it

[bloedewir]

Dragon Age: The Veilguard

There's some post-game thoughts I can mark as spoiler ones. Read only if you finished the game.

I love the game. Really. The grand finale was magnificent, the main plot idea is painfully touching and I adore the heavy weight of sorrow I bear after I finished the game. The best kind of bittersweet grief of possible.

However it doesn't mean the game is flawless. There's some stuff I didn't get at all.

Why there's no option to ask Solas about the Forgotten Ones? Like, hello, you have an encyclopedia of elven lore in your head, can't you ask a few optional questions about weird ancient guy you've met during the journey? Nadas Dirthalen? (Or it's because da5 is going to be about new dwarven and/or qunari lore and Forgotten Ones/Executors?)

You also can't say anything about the murals.. which is kinda strange. Why didn't Rook comment those mind-blowing revelations? For Harding, at least?

Evanuris. Solas' story is beautifully written, Mythal' story was also revealed more than before (even if she's in all 4 games) so we get to know her better. But Elgar'nan and Ghilan'nain? Fine, forget other evanuris.. but the spectacular duo? Spirits and demons are kinda the same, like two sides of a coin. Solas is Wisdom and Pride, Mythal is Benevolence and Retribution (as Morrigan said). Elgar'nan and Ghilan'nain are just.. bad? They're blighted and corrupted now but what about the past? Where's the duality of their personalities? No chance for redemption now because they don't want or need it, I get the idea, but the story itself? I wish there would be more about them. We do have something on Ghilan'nain tho, like: she created hallas but can't create them any longer and she has a full control over the Blight as if it's modeling clay (+ some Bellara' thoughts on a matter of "navigation" and "healing" and path Ghilan'nain chose for the People). But Elgar'nan? He likes tyranny. And he still had his hair. Uhm.. ┐⁠(⁠ ⁠∵⁠ ⁠)⁠┌

Romances. Can't say much because I didn't try all of them but Neve's and Lucanis'.. uhm. It doesn't feel like a written romance, y'know? Just a bonus lines so you doesn't have to feel lonely or whatever. Characters are on their own and don't have connection with Rook till the very end. There's no impact and Rook is, ironically, just an enjoyable side benefit™ but nothing more. Comparing to datv romance situation solavellan romance is hot as hell and full of content. And it says a lot.

Inquisitor. I do like how their absence was explained... yet Lavellan was robbed. I don't want to see a cringe Fade therapy session with Solas telling his tragic lovestory to a random stranger (Rook) and whining about just how much he misses his gorgeous wife (and I'm solavellan). But adding a few tiny details? The bare minimum: take the dai tarot card and place it on the wall in a music room. That already could've been much better. (mods mods mods 🤞🤞🤞).

Dialogue timing and triggers. I suspect dialogues are cool but I can't know for sure. In my first playthrough I didn't even know Davrin and Lucanis are not a big fans of each other before the Weisshaupt quest because I didn't hear it. DATV locations are much smaller than it was in DAI, so you just don't get the chance to hear those dialogues unless you find a trigger point and just stay there waiting to play all lines.

Some of that is not a tragedy and, theoretically, could be improved by magnificent people creating mods. But sometimes datv seems kinda unfinished like there's a missing puzzle pieces as if content was cut out with no replacement.

Despite some questionable moments and a bit of criticism I love this game regardless. It's dark and atmospheric, absolutely beautiful and mesmerizing. And analysis of Regret? Choices and consequences, acceptance, struggling, desperation, guilt..? The work Bioware did deserves to be highly appreciated. The final left me in tears, sobbing and grieving, and heartbroken - that's all I ever wanted of Dragon Age 💜

[galedekarios]

okay so I was thinking about when the player first meets Gale, he immediately clocks them as coming from the nautiloid even though A) we never see him anywhere on the nautiloid, and B) we don't psychically link with him via the tadpoles during his introduction.

this has been plaguing my brain because it leaves two options. either 1) Gale correctly deduces the player was on the nautiloid just because why else would they be out there in the wreckage, or 2) he encountered the player sometime before they pulled him out of the broken sigil but didn't/couldn't approach them for one reason or another.

so this is my roundabout way to ask if you have any headcanons and/or theories of why Gale recognizes the player right from the jump. I'm inclined to think that he saw the player on the ship some point before it starts to crash, because when he brings it up, he starts with "I know you, don't I?" which, to me, makes it seem like he recognized them rather than made an assumption about them. but I would love to hear your thoughts about it!

(P.S. I LOVE your Gale meta/analysis posts! they are so well thought out and beautifully written ❤️)

thank you so much for your message and kind words! 🖤

i also do find it very, very interesting that both in early access and in full release, gale recognises the player right away.

this is his intro after he appears from the netherese teleportation rune from early access:

(Gale appears from the Netherese Teleportation rune) Gale: You’re alive. That’s unexpected. Last I saw you, you were laying in a crucible’s worth of blood, an intellect devourer nibbling at your ear. Glad to see my eyes deceived me. I’m Gale. Well met! Player (Option 1): Well met. You were on the ship as well, I presume? Gale: The very same. A traumatising experience – if an instructive one.

and his intro from full release is, as you've already mentioned:

Gale: Say, but I know you, don't I? In a manner of speaking. You were on the nautiloid as well. Player: I was, yes. Gale: Then I can only assume you too were on the receiving end of a rather unwelcome insertion in the ocular region.

i do think, with the way both introductions are worded, that it's extremely likely that gale did see the player on the ship.

now where we can speculate is where and how that may have taken place.

the early access dialogue implies that the protag was not in a pod when gale saw them, despite them waking up in one when the game begins, just as in the full release version.

we do know that captured victims are immediately placed inside a pod when they're captured from the trailer/intro cinematic:

which makes it likely that gale saw the protag while having been taken out of the pod and maybe guarded by intellect devourers, or perhaps transported somewhere, or even after an escape attempt they do not remember.

as for gale himself, we do know that wizards are able to manipulate the pods themselves to open them with a successful dice roll:

(taken from one of my early access gifsets)

we also do know that gale is master of his craft as a prodigy, ex-chosen, archwizard, scholar and researcher, and graduate of blackstaff academy. it doesn't seem unlikely to me that he may have found a way to break out of his own pod to try and escape what would surely otherwise be a death sentence for him and others for multiple reasons.

i do think gale's wording again makes it sound as if though he'd already escaped the pod in which he was likely trapped in, too:

Player: Never mind the nautiloid. How did you get stuck in that stone? Gale: I don't know what transpired exactly, but the ship broke into pieces and I suddenly found myself in freefall. Gale: As I was plummeting to certain death, I spied a glimmer quite near where I estimated my body to impact with less-than-savoury propulsion. Gale: Recognising this glimmer to be magical in nature, I reached out to it with a Weaving of words and found myself on the other side as it were. Gale: How about you? How did you survive the fall? Player: To be honest, I haven't a clue. Gale: Fair enough. But even so, I have the unfortunate suspicion your survival is still very much in jeopardy.

as for the mind link (which can happen later at camp), i do think it's also important to keep in mind that just because the player doesn't feel the mind link or connection or even so much as a tickle of the tadpole, it's not unlikely that gale can feel it from his side. his mental defences are high enough so that the player can't sense the tadpole, but i don't think that is necessarily the same for gale.

so, all in all, i do think, considering everything we know, the most likely scenario here is that gale saw the protag - perhaps even while trying to orient himself / try to find a way out - on the ship and that the player does not remember him for whatever reason - and given the circumstances here, those reasons could be plentiful (unconsciousness, disorientation, dazedness like the woman we found trapped in a pod adjacent to the room we find shadowheart in, etc.).

again, thank you for your message! 🖤

[sirhyst]

Edgar Allan Poe (BSD) x gn!reader

TW/CW: suggestive language (nothing explicit), bottom!poe again sorry but 😔 I’m down bad for this man

Summary: Reader accidentally comes across some interesting poems Poe wrote about them.

Note: reader has more game than me 😔✊ I’m dog shit at writing poems so maybe later I’ll write what Poe might of sent you.

———————————————————————

You were sitting alone at your house when you heard scratching by your door. Most would have reached for the nearest weapon, but you knew all too well what was making those scratching noises.

“Karl,” you said reaching down to pet the little raccoon. Before your hand met his small head, you noticed he had loose papers in his mouth.

“Now what do you have there? Have you been stealing again?” Karl look at you begrudgingly, clearly annoyed that you would dare make such an accusation despite his track record. He dropped the papers at your feet before waltzing into your living room, towards your couch.

You immediately recognised the beautiful, yet slightly rushed, handwritten words.

Edgar, you thought to yourself, not realising the goofy smile that spread across your lips. As you carefully scanned the documents though, the smile was replaced by a look of shock as your face began to heat up.

A plethora of beautifully written poems sharing the many fantasies Poe had, many of which were very erotic, scattered across the pages in the form of a letter. Poe, in his usual poetic way, truly described what he saw and how that made him feel.

Your concentration was interrupted when Karl clung onto your ankle.

“Maybe I should take these back to Poe Karl, What do you think?” You asked, patting his head gently. Naturally, Karl let out an approving chirp.

You reached Poe’s house to find him already standing by the door.

“My darling, I-“ he paused, blush layering his face as soon as he saw the papers in your hand, immediately recognising them based on the smirk dancing across your face.

“I see you Karl ratted me out,” he said looking down, not daring to look you in the eyes. You had to admit, you didn’t expect such explicit words from your boyfriend, it was like night and day from his usual gothic horror stories.

Poe led you up to his office, Karl seemed to sense the change in the air and remained in the foyer.

As soon as Poe closed the door, you placed the unholy papers on the nearest bookshelf before pressing the tall man against the wooden door.

No matter how many times you caught Poe in this position, he always reacted as if it were the first time. A blushing, stuttering mess, only become more of a wreck as your hands made there way to his waist, deeply massaging it.

“I hope I didn’t make you uncomfortable,” he said, even after making note of his current predicament, he still worried he’d push you away.

“Of course not my little raven,” you said in a hushed voice. Your lips brushed against his, whilst pushing back his bangs to see his full face. You frequently did this merely to pull the nervous little whimpers from your partner that you’ve grown to love.

“Just a new side of you that’s all,” you took time to admire his features before letting out a content sigh before kissing him softly.

Naturally, the kiss ended long before Poe would have liked.

“Edgar~” you said in the manner you knew made his knees weak.

“You made me seem more attractive than I thought I was though,” you said, almost overcome with shyness. Poe furrowed his brows—he never wanted to hear his partner under-appreciate themselves.

“I simply wrote what I saw, and how I feel when I look at you,” he paused.

“I feel disappointed in myself when I think those things about you but, sometimes I can’t help it,”

“Especially since you’re so,” he didn’t know what to say next. When the writer runs out of words to describe the overwhelming feeling he felt around his lover, you know he is truly overcome by love.

“Hmm,” you said, moving your hand to fiddle with his jacket.

“it’s not gross, I love when you express yourself. Especially the cute noises you make,” you said with another smirk and a wink. Edgar pursed his lips in an attempt to hold back any noise threatening to spill out.

You took a step back, placing your hands back on his waist. Poe pouted from the sudden warmth dissipating, but briefly regained composure.

“I’m glad I didn’t push you away, I didn’t mean for you to find those,” he looked at his hands, “especially since they weren’t finished.”

As if the passed 5 minutes had never accrued, your face completely switched from a seductive smile to plain shock.

“There’s more?!” You said, a little louder than either of your would have liked. Poe stayed silent, not wanting to expose himself further, made his way back to his desk.

“Edgar! You can’t just drop that information and then walk away!” You said nervously, but still with a slight smile threatening to appear. That of course did not last long as the urge to tease your lover returned.

As he stood in front of his desk, you placed a hand on his shoulder turning him around, and leaning him against the wooden surface.

“Why don’t you tell me more about your little fantasies.”

[ladysarai]

@inception30daychallenge day 1: my favorite thing about the movie

I think my FAVORITE thing about Inception is how MUCH there is to it, as a movie. You can watch it a zillion times and get something new from it every time, and you can read one person's take and be impressed and amazed because you didn't even think of that take!

But what REALLY makes me sit up and pay attention to a piece of media is Characters, and Relationships. I love how MUCH the cast did with so very little... I want to know EVERYTHING about Arthur's relationships with Mal and Dom, (okay, ESPECIALLY Mal) just because of the way he calls Mal "lovely" and because of the way he PUTS UP with Dom and follows him around and has obviously been loyal through So Much Shit and then the way he SMILES in the end. Cobb himself is a hot mess, and given only the context of the movie, you have to wonder why anyone would put up with the things he puts Arthur through, so there has to be a history there, right?? And OF COURSE I'm here for Arthur and Eames and their shared history, whatever that may be (they're married okay). The fact that in the paper script, Arthur and Eames could have been played so differently by two other actors is... It's a little awe inspiring, and just makes you really appreciate what actors can bring to their roles.

I love that every single time I watch it, there is something new to notice, some new nuance to pick up on, a new piece of canon that can be used to spin out headcanon or fic from. And I absolutely ADORE that so much is open-ended and there's no real WRONG interpretation; I think that's what's given the fandom such lasting power over the years. We're give so little actual canon that very little fanon is actually contradicted. It's kind of beautiful that way.

On a personal note... When I say that I'm new to the Inception fandom, I mean BRAND NEW... like as of April of this year new. Which is not to say I didn't see the movie when it came out in 2010, because I did! I watched it more than once! But here's the thing... You ever have those experiences where OTHER PEOPLE ruin a thing for you before you give it a chance yourself?

That's what happened with me and Inception. I thought "hey, fun movie" and left it at that. Largely because my younger brother was in this weird "I'm a Movie Connoisseur/Expert and My Opinion is the One That Counts" stage and as someone with self-proclaimed "man crush" on Leo, he was All About Cobb, who is easily my LEAST favorite character. He was also All About arguing for the "it's all a dream" theory over the ending, which I think beautifully demonstrates the main difference between us: I am an optimist and prefer happy endings. So he would Not Shut Up about this movie and how GROUNDBREAKING it was and how the pessimistic viewing of the ending was the Only True Way to watch the movie. (May I say how much I fucking love that this has generally been disproved in the last 14 years? Because I have serious Schadenfreude over that.)

(I was also RPing in a panfandom LJ game at the time with people who were obsessed with playing characters played by Certain Actors and our game wound up with an Arthur and an Ariadne and I think they shipped them but it was full of ~drama~ and I wanted nothing to do with it so I kept my Barbies on my corner of the game and avoided theirs.)

ANYWAY, this is a very convoluted and long-winded way to get to my point. Which is that I largely forgot about Inception for the last 13 years-ish. Then I was rereading some old fanfics in March and because I liked an author, I went to see what other fandoms they'd written for. And somehow I fell into Inception and discovered Arthur/Eames, and HOW THE FUCK DID I MISS THAT????? After a few weeks of reading fic, I decided to watch the movie again and, well. Then I was watching it every other day for several weeks.

Moderation? What's that?

So another favorite thing about this movie is that I got back into fandom for the first time in... god. Almost ten years???? Because of it. Which is a little miraculous by itself.

[chemkin-c-chickin]

Silent Hill 2 x JJK crossover idea

Note - Sh2 is beautifully written but sad story about dealing with a dying loved one, the feelings that come with that, and the inevitable truth that you will never see that person again. The remake of the game is a superb well, remake that adds just enough to give the characters more substance while also being faithful to the original. It does not change the endings or take extreme liberties like ff7 rebirth did.

With that being said, here's who I assigned to what character.

James - Satorou Gojo. Gets a letter from his late husband telling him to go to Silent Hill.

Mary - Suguru Geto. The late husband. Died of unknown causes.

Maria - Kenjaku. Looks exactly like Suguru but acts sultry, manipulative, even malicious at times.

Laura - Geto's adopted twin daughters. The only normal characters in a town full of fucking weirdos

Angela - Undecided. Her character is the most innocent next to Laura and she interacts with James the most next to Maria. At the same time, her backstory is so so tragic.

Eddie - Panda. Eddie's motives are the least complex in the story. At the same time, his actions are the most malicious. I was gonna pick Toji but Eddie's entire thing is bullying and Toji is too apathetic to care about bullying.

And thats it! Also a side note is that some fans tend to boil James down to a flat character who is 100% evil but unless you've been in his shoes, you can't really judge his actions or thought process. Now, he is by no means an innocent character, but he is NOT evil.

Update - switching Panda for Junpei upon suggestion. I forgot about that guy lol

And Maki will be in Angela's spot.

[uhbasicallyjustmilex]

5 fics i've enjoyed this month

stealing this idea from @alexturne because i absolutely love the idea of promoting all the amazing talented authors in this fandom more! 💜

missed your bones on me by @glorious-blackout summary: In the aftermath of their blissful reunion at Emirates Stadium, Miles wakes alone in Alex's bed to the sound of a gentle piano melody. Set following Miles' reunion with Arctic Monkeys on 18th June 2023. notes: this fic is absolutely beautiful. full of sadness for the past and hope for the future and just suffused throughout with the kind of bone-deep love that feels so utterly in character for milex. it tugged on my heartstrings in all the best ways, and has my favourite ever portrayal of alex lost in his creative headspace.

some velvet morning by @musette22/@subtle-as-an-earthquake summary: It happens at the OIympia in Paris, just after the show. Their hundredth show. A memorable one for more than just that reason, as it turns out. (Or, the fic in which Alex's body starts talking before his mind does, forcing him to finally realise a thing or two about his relationship with his best friend Miles). notes: oh my lord, this fic 😍 it's like someone (and by someone i mean @subtle-as-an-earthquake) took all my favourite tropes and poured them into a gorgeously written, tension-laden 14k fic that is so stupidly good i've already read it at least three times already 😅 it captures the dynamic between alex and miles SO well - the sense of contrasting complete ease/simmering tension with each other is one of the best portrayals i've ever read of them, and alex's thought process throughout unfolds in a way that feels so utterly (and infuriatingly) in character. the slow build is absolutely delicious, and the culmination of it delivers above and beyond! ✨

sometime in the future by @blacktrickle summary: In a world quite similar to this one, Miles Kane is an international supermodel and Alex Turner is the rockstar who has broken his heart one too many times. Now, two years after their most vicious break up, Alex is asking for one more shot, but this time, Miles won’t make it easy. notes: oh my goddddd THIS FIC 😭😭 i put off reading it for ages because i had this sneaking little suspicion it was going to destroy me - and i was right. destroy me it has, in the BEST possible way. i literally cannot recommend it enough. the writing and depth of character portrayal is just stunning, and i am completely and utterly hooked. i'm actually only halfway through rn, but already i know that this fic is one that's going to stay with me in my heart for the longest time - and can't wait to see where it's heading.

you've got control of everyone's eyes (including mine) by @alexturne summary: It's 2005 and the Arctic Monkeys are about to set out on their first proper tour. Alex is quite happy with that, until a certain someone gets in the way and spoils it all. A story about facing hardships, insecurities and stage fright, about friendships, dreams, music and smoking too many fucking cigarettes in dark back alleys. About keeping your friends close, and perhaps your enemies even closer. notes: i'm only three chapters in, but already this fic has hooked me in completely. it's beautifully readable, and just feels like such a vivid slice of early era am life. alex and miles are absolutely INSUFFERABLE in the best possible way - clearly obsessed with each other, but hiding behind the idea that they hate each other. the constantly simmering ust is wonderfully written, and the way they relate with each other feels so authentic (even if it also makes me want to knock their heads together). i can't wait to see where this fic goes 😍

ain't got anything to lick without you baby by @elorianna summary: At some point during their usual stage antics, Alex and Miles start playing an innocent game of one-upmanship – but with neither one of them willing to back down, things eventually get a little bit out of hand… notes: listen, i've read this one before. and i'll read it a bunch of times again too because it's just a CLASSIC. one of the first ever milex fics i read and i find myself returning to it over and over because it's just such a fun little read, and of course so well written too because it's elorianna. it captures all the ridiculousness and ust of eycte era milex messing around with each other, and the smut is well - *fans self*

okay, that's all for this month, but i think i'm going to try and do this every month and make it a regular thing! if anyone has any fic recs for me then please feel free to drop them in the comments/my asks/dms - i'm always on the lookout for more milex fics 💗

[nixthisis]

—#REC'S LIST ;

this is purely for me to gush a little over my favourite fics. I dont read fic too much anymore so if you made it here, well done you changed my life <3

(psst, do not ignore any warnings on any of the following, be respectul!)

VIDEO GAMES;

'Thoughts about leon adoring you.' // @dmitriene LEON KENNEDY first of all the entire aesthetic of this post is so yummy, from layout to fonts to punctuation. but the writing itself is just so *chefs kiss* the most romantic language I almost forgot it was smut. Beautifully written, gentleman Leon my beloved.

ANIMATION;

'KISS CAM!' // @jellybonbons KENJI SATO ahsgakakg sent me into a week long daydream of being his wag :( it's so him he's so cocky in the best way i need to inhale him whole. I just love how fun an real the dialogue is through out it's such a fun little read.

'cuteness aggression' // @kuroppiii BOKUTO KOUTARO can I just say first and foremost I love your themeing so much it's so cute, very aptly named fic if ever I seen one because he most definetly makes me clench my fists in pure love- 'the urge to gather him up in your arms with all the love in the world was simply just too strong.' I wept I need a Ko rn

HOLD ME CLOSE (HOLD ME TIGHT) // @lightseoul KATSUKI BAKUGO broke my heart and stuck it back together and broke it again and so forth; in the best ways possible may I add. as someone who recently has been dealing with grief the way you approach it is just beautiful and real and you should be proud of this piece because it is BEAUTIFUL 👏🏻

KPOP; none of the fics in this section will be full nsfw but may have suggestive content!

'post-arguement' // @jaysng PARK SUNGHOON I’m a sucker for resolved angst and it's just :(( cutiepie hoon being the cutest pie in the bakery, I love when people write him warm and inviting bc I just can't see the 'cold' everyone else can and this was so raw and natural<3

[wtsmtm]

SNS fics in January 2024

Below is a short list of SNS fics posted or updated in January 2024 (and one from 2007)! Remember to check the tags. Expand below to see the recommended fics!

the vines that grow by GreatLoversLieInHell (AO3). Complete. 100k words, 14/14 chapters. Rated: E. After getting discharged from the hospital, Naruto returns to a home that’s no longer standing. Sasuke, who doesn’t do well in cages, flees the first chance he gets. Unmoored, unsettled, Naruto looks to his motherland for answers. Uzushio calls her son home. The road to Uzushiogakure is long, but Sasuke walks it with him. Sasuke, who looks at him, hungry. Sasuke, who sees him, wherever the light gets in. A must-read for anyone who enjoys poetic language and explorations of the uncertainty that comes with setting out to find oneself. Finished this January, this amazing multi-chapter fic offers beautiful hurt/comfort and a romance that isn't just picture-perfect cliché but raw and real. This is an analysis of Naruto's character and trauma in a way that I haven't seen it before, embedded in a travel adventure that takes Naruto and Sasuke to Uzushio. Bittersweet, thought-provoking and a very worthwhile read. Did I mention beautifully written?

What They Made You by GrimTopography (AO3). Ongoing. 395k words, 63/? chapters. Rating: E. Naruto Uzumaki's Mother, Kushina Uzumaki died the night he was born and his father Minato Namikaze tried to save her by using his demon to save her. The demon breaks free from his binds and is drawn into the new born child. Minato is enraged by losing the love of his life and condemns Naruto to a life of abuse. Naruto has nothing but Kurama, a couple friends and his love for music. School is hell and almost everybody thinks he's a monster. What transpires when a popular newcomer, Sasuke Uchiha joins the school? One night changes everything, just how will it turn out? This is like two fics in one. The first few chapters are built to show how Naruto was born and how Minato became the villian. Kinda like a prequel. Kurama and Naruto have an amazing relationship in the fic and I just adore it so much. Naruto is a tall, muscular man with a deep raspy voice (a mixture of him and Kurama). Singer!Naruto is one of my alltime favorites so I vastly enjoyed this fic and it's freash take on the idea. The angst is handled well in this story. It's also a soulmate fic with a very interesting twist! The romantic relations between them are amazing! It's thrilling to watch them handle all that life seems want to throw at them. The plot is so wonderful it's like gold, and worth every single second of read time. The reread value is so good. I find something new every time I reread it and fall harder for the story each time. Slow updates, but is ongoing and updated still!

Neonlights by lilypheria (AO3). Ongoing. 34k words, 16/? chapters. Rated: E. Sasuke is a courier in the endless, futuristic city of Konoha. Usually his deliveries are nothing but unremarkable. Then he is asked to deliver a person, and all hell breaks loose. It's a GORGEOUS fic set in a futuristic world based on a few amazing video games. Kurama is an AI within Naruto and it's so fresh and cool to see! The world building is vast and paints such a fantastic picture as you read. It's almost like watching a movie/game play video in your brain. The plot is so detailed and thrilling. Full of intrigue and mystery and wonderful tension between Sasuke and Naruto. Updates are slow, but worth the wait between chapters!

Dis-Honor by One_of_a_Kind_99 (AO3). Ongoing. 33k words, 8/? chapters. Rated: E. Be a good Omega. Become a worthy match. Bring honor to your family. Joining the army pretending to be a beta to save his father's life was the complete opposite of what he was supposted to do. The line between honor and dishonor was thin, he had no idea which side he would land on at the end of it all. An SNS retelling of Mulan. Omega!Naruto, Alpha!Sasuke. The Mushu in this is hilarious. The author has similarities to the film while also truly making it their own. There is angst, spicy content, action, adventure and of course fun banter!

Under the Table by Sebastian (taydrawrs) (AO3). Oneshot. 2k words. Rated: M. Sasuke’s finger clenched around his phone and he could almost hear the case crack under the pressure.  His phone vibrated. >Please. The simple responses kept coming while Sasuke attempted to hold himself together. >I thought you cared about me. >I thought you were a kind and good person! He must be desperate if he’s resorting to compliments (and such fake ones) that he knows won’t work on Sasuke. >I have never begged anyone like this before. >Please! >Just one photo of your tits and- “Uchiha!” Sasuke slammed his knee (the same knee as before) under the table again.  This time, he let out a full stream of cusses, before lifting his head to meet the angry, steady eyes of his boss. Sasuke receives a text from his husband during a work meeting that brings back a few very potent memories. It's a sexy office fic with some spicy flashbacks and sneaky phone texting during a work business meeting.

The sky is red by Skyheaven (AO3). Complete. 61k words, 16/16 chapters. Rated: M. Turns out that Naruto's new high school friend was born a girl, but idetifies as a guy. Well, that wasn't a problem for him. Except that he falls in love with him. He'd never liked a guy, so he must like him because of his female body, doesn't he? What a terrible friend he is, what a horrible betrayal to have these feelings. Better bury them deep down. Down along with his beating heart whenever he sees his face. A high school AU with a trans Sasuke. He hasn't come out to his family or anyone and so when Naruto finds out they embark on a journey of self discovery together. It's very well written and informative. There are lots of feelings, angst and some family drama as well as extremely wholesome. Itachi is a good big brother and tries his best. Which leads to some very hilarious moments. It's just a beautiful read.

Love-Love by Watermelonsmellinfellon (AO3). Oneshot. >1k words. Rated: T. What if Sai had been just a little bit further on in his research about emotions, and asked if Naruto was aware that his fixation on Sasuke looks romantic... right when they see each other at Orochimaru's destroyed base? You have 5 minutes and need a little pick-me-up? This drabble is the perfect choice. Just one scene, set in shippuden, but sure to make you smile, chuckle or giggle. What's Canon anyways, I am pretty sure this is what happened.

Dead-Last Champ by Yaman999 (AO3). Ongoing. 178k words, 40/? chapters. Rated: M. Sasuke and Naruto were high-school sweethearts. In love through thick and thin. When Naruto decides to drop out of college to pursue his dreams of being a professional MMA fighter, his lover has a difficult time accepting the sudden change in course and uses it as an excuse to justify the biggest mistake of his life. Will Sasuke ever have the chance for redemption? Or will he have to sit by as someone else comes to sweep the love he let go off of his feet? A great ongoing fic. It's a modern AU with MMA Fighter!Naruto. It has a hurt/comfort tag and it uses it. Sasuke is very impulsive and selfish and spoiled when the story begins. He has no idea what he has or how to value it. Naruto is just starting out as an MMA fighter. Cheating fic leading to their breakup. Naruto finds support in his MMA village and grows, Sasuke spirals and needs to sort himself and his life out. Does Naruto feel complete or is something missing? Will Sasuke get his life together? Only time will tell if they find their way back to each other!

And some old gold for you all, dug up from the archives:

Guess Who by Hikari M666 (FFn). Oneshot. 2k words. Rated: M. Roped into working at a phone sex hotline, Sasuke loathes his job so much he's ready to kill. And when his very own 'satisfied' boyfriend rings the hotline, will his mood improve? Not bloody likely. SasuNaru, yaoi. Let me take you back 17 years, back to January 2007, when Hikari M666 published Guess Who - a short crack fic that has the boys in a really interesting situation! For some context about where Naruto was at in 2007 - the Japanese manga volumes were just at the part where Team Asuma go against Hidan and Kakuzu! In this AU crack fic, Naruto digs his own grave down a phone line, and Sasuke is murderous by the end. Hikari M666 was a fun writer with some great oneshots, including at least one more SNS oneshot, and wrote for some other Naruto pairings, as well as some other fandoms.

That's it! Reminder that this is not an exhaustive list, the team is small and has their own preferences, and to always read the tags.

[tnbc-thoughtsandheadcanons]

Megan Shepherd's TNBC Novelization: Review

Here are my thoughts and full review on Megan Shepherd's Tim Burton's The Nightmare Before Christmas (Novel). Although the book is closely based on the movie, there are a few unique things about it that I deem necessary to hide under a 'Read More', for spoilers to those who wish to avoid them.

Review + my thoughts below!

The book closely follows the movie with descriptives for each scene, except it doesn't contain any of the songs or lyrics, so substitutional dialogue is used instead. Most of these went well to describe/summarize the songs they replaced. I have no complaints with how Megan followed the movie in novel form, it's pretty accurate beyond some...minor things.

One example: Halloween just ended when Jack goes missing and stumbles upon Christmas Town, and when he comes back, he decides to have Halloween Town handle Christmas themselves. It's noteworthy to mention that they manage to do this from only November 1st - December 25th, a timespan of only 2 months. However. In this novel, the timing is changed - and it takes the Town a whole year to manage their own Christmas, and it is stated in the text that they "skipped their first Halloween" in order to do it.

Wouldn't the humans notice something different with Halloween, without the monsters and creatures of the night to scare them? Wouldn't it be kind of lame, and warrant the title of a "bad Halloween"? When Santa Claus and his gifts were missing, the humans nearly brought an end to Christmas. Is Halloween exempt from impacting the humans like this? Wouldn't there be any repercussions? Isn't it the Holiday World's purpose/job to bring the holiday TO the humans??

Anyway!

The text is beautifully written and I loved Megan's portrayal of Jack Skellington's internal struggle and depression, and how Sally related to it. She wrote the two of them wonderfully in the novel and even brought new details into the picture, mentioning Sally had done sewing tasks for him and is the one who recommended putting white stripes on his suit. She also delivered his book of The Scientific Method from the Doctor to him. <3

The novel contains a lot of little details/changes like these. I loved most of them and only had minor issues with a couple choices. One particular recurring mention, that I and other readers have disliked, was the heavy reference and implication to Jack Skellington's death. A few times in the novel, he thinks of his "previous life" and how he died. I share a fandom headcanon that Jack is a special skeleton from a species in Halloween Town itself, rather than him just dying. But this is a personal nitpick and doesn't impact anything, really - it's Megan's choice for his backstory, and I respect that!

Another small nitpick of mine is that I always thought Jack nabbed all the Christmas books from Christmas Town, but in this novel, it says that he got them from Halloween Town's Library. This brings all sorts of confusing questions into my mind...

A couple of my favorite lines from the book:

Also, the MOST interesting part of this novel, for me, is how it follows The Pumpkin King Game's backstory for Oogie Boogie, where he attempted to overthrow Jack Skellington to become Bug King. The novel mentions this a few times, and it's one of my favorite takes of Oogie Boogie - so I was delighted to see canon from my favorite TNBC game implemented into the novel!

Overall, I loved this novelization and the new headcanons it brought to me. It was wonderfully written and stayed close to the movie while also portraying the author's own takes on the characters and their feelings. Beyond my few minor nitpicks, it was great and I can't wait to see what the author will do with Long Live the Pumpkin Queen's sequel.

Check out this novelization if you can!

[theladyofshalott1989]

Writer Interview Game

Thank you so much for tagging me @infernalrusalka! This was a lot of fun to reflect upon and type out. :)

No pressure tagging: @morelikeravenbore @ravenwind-75 @myokk @moongurl95 and honestly anyone else who wants to join in. I love reading about other writers' processes <3

When did you start writing?

Fanfic? When I was a young teen (roughly age 13/14). I wrote Star Wars (Anakin/Padme) fanfics on FanFiction.net.

Writing in general? When I was around 5. I used to "write books" (that is: take construction paper, bind it, and create little stories with pictures when I was bored at home, alone). Only child syndrome; am I right, or am I right? Haha.

Are there different themes or genres you enjoy reading than what you write?

I enjoy reading angst, but I don't (typically) write it. I also read a lot of published nonfiction for fun, but I hated writing essays in school. I was more of a creative writing gal.

Is there a writer you want to emulate or get compared to often?

You know, I've never actually thought about this, probably because I like to write for myself. I think it would be odd to be compared to another writer, even a famous one. I also read oodles, so it's difficult for me to choose an author I'd want to emulate. I suppose if I were forced at gunpoint to choose, I'd say John Steinbeck. He had a way with words; he turned phrases beautifully and his books have really stuck with me over the years, especially East of Eden.

Can you tell me a bit about your writing space?

My office, which my husband recently renovated for me. It's Hogwarts: Legacy themed, naturally. My husband is the best; he loves to encourage my "Sebastian and Damien delulu," my words, but he would definitely agree and approve. XD

What's your most effective way to muster up a muse?

Hmm, good question. I don't know if I have one actually, unless setting a writing schedule counts? I write every morning, rain or shine, for one hour before work. If I'm in the middle of writing a long-fic, I also write during my lunch break. I don't typically take days off either. So...I dunno? I do like to write while drinking coffee. Maybe that helps. Yes, let's say that.

Are there any recurring themes in your writing? Do they surprise you?

I tend to prefer writing morally gray characters that eventually have a redemption arc. Not sure what that says about me, but I don't mind it. Haha.

What is your reason for writing?

It's a type of therapy for me. It's the only time of the day that I get to myself. I work full-time and I'm a mom, and as thankful as I am for that, I have my own desires and passions outside of those two things that I don't want to lose. Writing is my way of keeping that part of myself alive.

Is there any specific comment or type of comment you find particularly motivating?

I love all types of comments, but I will worship the ground you walk upon if you're the kind of person who does reaction comments with quotes included. I try to comment this way too on other writers' fics to encourage more of this style of commenting because it's the best!

How do you want to be thought about by your readers?

If someone reads anything I've written and comes away with the sense of joy that I felt while writing it, I'd be absolutely thrilled.

What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?

I have a few that I'm proud of. Dialogue, particularly banter. Push-pull dynamics in relationships, especially in established ones. Morally gray characters. Foreshadowing and twists. I'll even it out by saying I'm not as confident in my description-writing abilities, which is partially my fault. I tend to skim descriptions in published books because they more often than not bore the hell out of me. LMAO. So...that's my bad. Interestingly, I really enjoy reading descriptions in fanfics, possibly because they tend to be more unique. Descriptions in published books are often very cookie-cutter and I feel like I've read them a million times before. Oh well.

How do you feel about your own writing?

Some days I love it, other days I think my writing is the worst, but I'm finding that's pretty normal when it comes to creators. We are very critical of our own work. I try to be kind to myself on days when I'm in a negative headspace because I know the feeling will pass. <3