#it hurts i have a lot of pain but remembering. my life. n myself. n love in general just comforts me a lot. i'll be fine somehow. as always
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Note
Ford wakes up in Dimension 52, hopped up on painkillers after his metal plate installation surgery, and he’s just rambling about how he misses you.
While the surgery may have been a success but Ford was feeling a sense of melancholy within his chest the second he opened his eyes.
‘Y/n?’ His voice slurred as your name was the first thing to leave his lips before realising that you weren’t by his side, the seven eyed oracle Jheselbraum was.
‘They are safe at home, safe from harm.’ She replied with all knowing certainty that still left Ford a little miffed.
‘I miss them,’ Ford began as memories of you being you flashed in the forefront of his mind, ‘they would use to wear my turtlenecks and trenchcoats, I hope they still do even if I’m too far away to see them do so.’ He chuckles halfheartedly as the ache in his chest only grew the more he reminisced. ‘The red turtleneck was their favourite and they looked really cute in it too that I just wanted to squish their cheeks and kiss them…but I’m too cowardly.’ Ford then pouts.
the pain medication was making him spill some truths of his heart that was entirely missing you and your sweet smile, your cute laughter and your well…everything! All the things he wanted to say to you, every thought he ever had about you and even his favourite things about you were coming to light in his post surgery stupor.
but regardless of what was causing Ford’s lips to have become loosened because all he wanted to talk about was you, you, and oh you!
‘Too cowardly to tell them how much I care about them, too cowardly to tell them that the moment I realised what I felt for them was beyond platonic, so much so to the point where I stayed awake at night thinking they’d hate me if I ever told them how I truly felt.’ Ford admits as he looks up to the high ceiling of the room he was slowly recovering in, only to feel the most alone he had ever felt in his entire life.
Ford swallowed thickly as his mouth seemed to keep telling Jheselbraum just how much the lack of your presence had affected him. ‘They kept me sane during times where I believed myself to have gone mad. They kept me company during my late nights of research, not once complaining about their own lack of sleep because they were too busy worrying about mine to notice the dark bags beginning to form under their eyes…but I did and I blamed myself for that.’
Ford trailed off as he distinctly remembered your look of exhaustion and the worry he felt, even now when he was god knows how many dimensions away from you he was, and the reassuring smile you’d give him when you knew he was questioning your ability to keep going.
You were far more stronger than he was but he couldn’t help but wonder how you were doing now, now that he was gone and whether or not you’ve been taking care of yourself.
‘They were the first person to hold my hand and not get scared.’ Ford said with a wide smile. ‘They didn’t care whether I had an extra finger or whatever. To them I was Ford, the loveable but sometimes Insufferable smart ass.’ Ford couldn’t help but hysterically chuckle at your nicknames for him because it was true! He was an insufferable smart ass but then remembered how you’d call him your insufferable smart ass. Your as in he was yours to call an insufferable smart ass, nobody else’s.
‘I miss them so much that I feel an ache here.’ He then sloppily points to what he thinks was his heart, however the pain meds had him pointing at his left arm unknowingly but Jheselbraum knew what he meant, you were indeed an important figure in Ford’s life that he’d find some difficulty trying to navigate a life without you in it. ‘It hurts a lot whenever I think about how much of a distance there is between us now. It hurts even more knowing that they might’ve moved on, while I still hold to hope to one day hold them in my arms once again, breathing them in and that really nice shampoo they use.’ Ford lets his arm drop to his side, eyes never once looking away from the ceiling.
‘I want to go home.’ He then said.
‘And you shall in due time.’ Jheselbraum reassures him.
‘Not to the shack,’ Ford said with a frown, ‘I meant back to them, back to y/n.’ He clarifies. ‘For they are the only home I’ll ever want to go back to.’
‘And like I said Stanford Pines, you shall in due time, but that time is not now.’ Jheselbraum says as she stands up from the chair, brushing herself down as she moves to walk out of the room to leave Ford to rest. ‘But you will see your beloved again, that is for certain.’ She adds.
‘Do you think they’ve missed me?’ Ford wonders aloud.
‘More than anything.’ Was all the oracle said before leaving the room.
A smile crept on Ford’s face as he felt himself succumbing to sleep. ‘I missed them too, more than anything…I’m coming home my dear…don’t stay up too late okay?’
#gravity falls x reader#gravity falls imagine#gravity falls imagines#gravity falls#stanford pines x you#stanford pines imagines#stanford pines imagine#stanford pines x reader#ford pines x you#ford pines imagines#ford pines imagine#ford pines x reader
635 notes
·
View notes
Text
— Just know you're stronger than you think
⟫ Alphabet Challenge, J - Just know you're stronger than you think
Pairings: leah williamson x teen reader
There's a been a lot of tears writing this one, but it comes from the heart.
Shoutout to @alotofpockets for being one my biggest supports when writing and dealing with my rants and emotions, massively appreciate the virtual shoulder to lean on! 💗
"Why is it that the people we care about so much are also the ones' that hurt us the most?"
That particular question has been on your mind ever since it happened, two whole days ago.
"Did something happen?" The therapist, sitting opposite you questions, her voice full of concern.
Fumbling with the strings of your Leahs' hoodie that you are wearing, you slowly nod and look at the older woman, "My mum showed up, completely unannounced."
The memories of the past few days begin to replay in your head as you remember the conversation very clearly.
"Hi sweetheart," You're shocked to open the front door and come face to face with your mother, who you haven't even heard of in a few months, following the last conversation that you had with her.
Yet here she stood, smiling like there was nothing the matter. Had she forgotten what happened?
"Mom? Wha... What are you doing here?" You're confused to say the least and you couldn't understand why she was here, at your front door, after all of this time.
"I wanted to come and see you," The woman replied, still continuing to smile condescendingly at you.
Your eyes furrowed in confusion, "And you didn't think to let me know first?" You questioned her.
"I didn't think I would need to," Your mother was quick to respond, "And besides, I tried to call, but you've been avoiding me, haven't you?" She asked, knowingly.
"I've had stuff going on," You admitted to her quietly, shrugging your shoulders.
The older woman hummed in response, "I know, you were in the hospital, and guess where I had to find that out? The news, social media-- You didn't think to call your own mother?!" She barked at you, like it was her right to know about what's been going in your life.
She didn't deserve that right, not when shes' not bothered with you for as long as you can remember.
"I guess... I guess I forgot," You mumbled, feeling ten times smaller like your mother always has a way of making you feel like that.
It was like a flip switched right there and then, your mother's smile changed to a scowl right in front of you.
"After everything I have done for you, and you just throw it back in my face, Y/N!" The women shouted angrily, her emotions completely changing in a blink.
The therapist sat opposite you, listening to you completely as you tell her about the conversation and relayed it back to her, "Okay, and how did that make you feel? How did you handle it?" She asks.
"The same way that I always did," You murmur, still fumbling with the hoodie strings, "I blew up."
"Mum, I haven't been well-- I tried to kill myself. I wanted to die, I... I tried to end my life because I didn't want to be here anymore!" You completely poured your emotional vulnerability out to the woman, hoping that she'd comfort you, something in which you deeply craved.
The woman literally scoffed and shook her head, "And you don't think that's incredibly selfish to do? What about me-- Wha... You can't leave me, Y/N!" She exclaimed in disbelief.
Your initial confusion turned to anger very quickly, how could she make it all about herself, even now?
"Mum, I'm the one that's been suffering and in pain, this whole damn time!" You didn't mean to yell at her, but something inside you snapped.
"You don't think I have? Y/N, I've been in pain for a lot longer than you have-- You don't know the half of it!" Your mother shouted right back at you, completely forgetting the fact you were both outside in broad daylight where anyone could hear the shouting back and forth.
The very sentence made you realise how inconsiderably selfish she has always been, and she will still continue to be.
"Why has it always got to be about you? I can't even talk to you because you're so wrapped up in yourself-- See this, this is the reason I didn't tell you because yet again, you just once again go and make it about yourself!" You were seething with anger, you didn't care at this point which neighbour did hear you, "I needed you, mum, I really... I really needed you and you weren't there." Your voice was vulnerable and raw, showing the true hurt you felt right there.
"Because you didn't tell me that you needed me, Y/N," Your mother threw it back in your face, having the audacity to even tut at you, "How could I when you don't keep in touch anymore?" She asked.
You really did need your mum, but once again, she was nowhere to be seen when you did.
"She doesn't get it, she never has. Shes' always been this selfish and I've never realised..." You speak directly to your therapist, once again showing your vulnerability as the tears continue to spill down your cheeks.
Your therapist nods and continues to listen, shifting the paper in her hands completely aside, "Did you tell her how you felt?" She wonders.
"I did," You nod in response, "It was hard, but... I did it."
"I deserve to know if theres' something wrong with you, Y/N,'' Your mother stated, like it was her god-given right to know.
Was it really?
"I'm telling you now, aren't I, mum?" You responded, quietly.
Your mother exhaled a sigh and shook her head, "Were you alone in the hospital?" She questioned.
"No, I had Leah--" You were cut off before you could finish that sentence.
Your mother had the audacity to scoff, "Leah is not your mother, Y/N. I am!" She stated, firmly.
"Yeah, well shes' been there a lot more than you have in the last few years!" You confessed your inner thoughts, you were damn right about that statement.
Leahs' been there a lot more than your mum ever has been.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Your mother questioned in disbelief.
"It means... It means I'm done, mum. I'm done with always having to be second best-- I'm done with you and your selfishness! I'm just... I'm done now!" You told her, not having the energy to keep up this argument with her as you deflated your shoulders.
Your mother had the nerve to look at you hurt and it made you feel instant guilt about what you said, "All that I have done for you, and this is how I am treated? By my own daughter!" She said quietly, barely louder than a whisper.
"Mum, I'm sorry... But I can't, I can't do this anymore," Your telling her nothing but the truth, your tired of the bickering, your so tired of it and its' draining you both mentally and physically, "I love you because your my mum, but I'm done, I can't... I think its' best that you go."
"I'm the one whos' always been there, Y/N. I am the one... I am the one whos' been there when that deadbeat of a father walked out on us. He walked and I stayed, I didn't have too. I could have given you up but I stayed and this is what I get?" Your mothers' words hurt, they're gaslighting and manipulative, but you know this is exactly what she is like.
You have to try and remain strong in this decision.
"I think you should go now, mum. I... I don't want you here anymore," You told her, quietly as you avoided looking at her, "Please, just go."
"Y/N, you can't just push me away. I don't deserve to be treated like this," The women continued to gaslight you, showing the toxic traits of her personality.
Shaking your head, you remained firm on your decision, "It's always the same thing with you, mum. Just... Just fuckin' go!" You exclaimed, trying to keep your tears at bay until she left.
You watched as your mothers' face turned to look like complete thunder, "Don't you swear at me, young lady!" She shouted, enraged.
This time, you couldn't help but scoff, "Please, you can't tell me what to do. Just leave and never come back!" You demanded.
"Y/N," Your mother pleaded, but you didn't want to hear it.
Your therapist leant forward to pass you the box of tissues and looked at you in great sympathy, "And then what happened?" She asks.
"Leah showed up," You tell her, giving her a brief smile while trying to harshly wipe the tears away.
"I think you should do what she says. She's asked you to leave and you're not welcome here," Leah appeared behind your mother, coming back from a quick trip to the shops to pick up some much needed essentials and was shocked to see the women on her doorstep after all this time.
"You!" Your Mother turned round to see the voice behind her as she glared, "You've poisined my own daughter against me!"
"Me?" Leah scoffed in response before she shook her head, "That wasn't me, I think you'll find that was all done by you. So you can see Y/N is upset, so please Y/M/N, just go because like I said before, you're not welcome here." Her words were firm and it made you smile slightly with the way that the blonde fought in your corner.
"So, she left?" Your therapist questions, curiously.
You nod in agreement and use your sleeves to wipe your face, "She left, I felt... I guess I felt relieved, free almost? I... I just wish that things could be different, you know?" You tell her, confused about the feelings you have.
Your therapist smiled at you sympathetically, "You don't deserve to be treated like this, Y/N. Even if its' your own mother and you did the right thing here-- Remember we talked about healthy boundaries? Those apply to family members as well." She tells you.
"I know, it just hurts," You murmur, feeling complete exhaustion after spilling everything out in the open.
"It will for a bit, but then it'll heal. This is about you, Y/N," Your therapist continues to speak open and honestly to you, "It will take time to heal, but you're strong enough to do it, and you're not alone either." She states, kindly.
"Rough session?" Leah questions in concern as she glances at you beside where she sits in the driver's seat.
You must be somewhat predictable, or she can tell from the red puffy eyes and tear stain cheeks.
It may just be the latter one.
"Yeah," You murmur in response, you barely have the effort to even want to vocually communicate right now.
Leah continues to look at you in further concern, "Do you want to talk about it?" She offers.
"No, I don't... I don't want to talk about it," Your quick enough to disagree with that.
That was a complete lie, you did want to talk about it. Even if you won't admit it though.
"Okay, that's fine. You know where I am though if you need me, bubs." Leah sends you a gentle smile and squeezes your knee to let you know she's here for you.
"Thanks," You lean your head on the window, watching the passing traffic as you head back home to the flat you shared with the blonde.
The rest of the ride home was quiet, you felt so in your head right now.
Therapy was meant to help, right? Why did it feel like the complete opposite, right now.
"I'm gonna make tea, what do you--" Leahs' words are cut short with the sound of your bedroom door slamming shut behind you, "I'll be out here if you need me at all." She calls out, hoping that you can hear her.
You do hear her, but you just don't have the energy to verbally respond right now.
You used it all in therapy, pouring your emotions out and showing your vulnerability, and that's something which rarely ever happens.
You keep yourself shut away in your bedroom for the rest of the day.
Leah of course has tried to prise you out of your room, but you are very much reluctant to leave your confined space.
You don't want to talk anymore today, you'd already done enough of that with the therapist.
So instead you bury yourself in a blanket, shamelessly clutching hold of the little stuffed green dinosaur that you won at a fair when you were eight, while you just sob endlessly into your pillow.
"Why is it that the people we care about so much are also the ones' that hurt us the most?" The question still plays on your head in a loop, because even now, you still don't understand the answer to it.
What shocks you the most is the fact that your mum hasn't bothered even once to contact you.
That shit hurts, to realise that shes' not bothered about any of it.
Not a single thing.
Somehow during the time you've spent in your room, you end up crying most of the time. Unfortunately, the habits' become more familiar over the last few months than you realise, all because of that woman.
There's a knock at your door, followed by the blondes' voice, "Bubs?"
"G' way," You mumble from underneath the covers, trying to block out the rest of the world.
Hearing the door creep open, you know that Leah isn't going to do that, "I heard you crying. I'm not going to leave you when you're this upset." She states, firmly.
"I don't want... I don't want to talk," You stutter your words, trying to control your sobs no matter how difficult that is.
"That's okay, we don't have to talk about things," Leah moves further into the room as her heart breaks at the sight of you curled up into a ball in the middle of your bed, clutching a hold of the pillow with tear stained cheeks, "Oh, bubs. C'mere, my girl."
That sight was enough for Leah to swiftly move to lie behind you in your bed, gently scoop you up and pull you closer to her, to be able to allow you the comfort even if you didn't want it.
The blonde knew different, she knew not to believe you when you said you didn't want to talk, she allows you the space but shes' not going to allow you to be completely torn up about this.
"Le," Your voice trembles, you don't have the words to say right now, but your grateful for the blonde being there.
Leah quietly shushes you and wraps her free arm around you, "I know, I know it hurts. You don't have to say anything, but know I'm here for you, regardless."
"Why... I don't get why, why does it hurt this much?" You're completely heartbroken, you thought pushing your mother away would help with things, but it makes it all that worse.
"I wish I could tell you the answer there, bubs," Leah murmurs and rocks you back and forth slightly in her arms, "Sometimes' it hurts to do it, but it's' for the best, you know?"
"S... She hasn't even phoned me. She doesn't care about me," You cry openly, showing the raw vulnerability you felt about this situation.
You feel like you've been abandoned, somewhat.
Parents aren't meant to do that, but yet its' easy for enough for it to happen.
And now you're the one in the wrong? It doesn't make sense.
"It hurts now, but things will get better," Leah tells you honestly, running her slender fingers through the strands of your own hair, "And I promise to never leave you alone, ever, okay? You've always got me!" She promises.
"You... You've always been more like a mum to me, more than my mother ever has," You admit to her through small sobs, shuffling around to be face to face with her as you move to rest your head on her chest, "Thank you for never giving up on me or leaving."
Leahs' heart cracks just that little bit more as she smiles sympathetically, "Your my kid, regardless of blood or not, and I love you so so much," She speaks from the heart, pressing a gentle kiss to the top of your head, "The day I met you, it felt like one of the best days of my life and I feel so grateful to be a part of your life, kid."
"I'm grateful you're a part of my life too, Le," You murmur quietly, your voice is hoarse from how much you've been crying but you really do mean what you say, "I wish you were my mum instead, you wouldn't abandon me like she did." You admit, your voice is still no louder than a whisper so you're not sure if shes' even heard it.
"I'd love to be your mum as well bubs, you deserve so much better," Leahs' response is nothing but the honest truth.
Your eyes start to flutter shut, "I really wish it could happen."
Somehow you feel closer to falling asleep, you don't know what it is but you feel that with the presence of Leah there with you, it's a lot easier to fall asleep.
"I'll make it happen," Leah whispers, still running her slender fingers through your hair gently, "Get some sleep, yeah? It's been a long day."
There wasn't any response from you as you'd somehow managed to fall asleep in that short space of time.
"Bubs," Leah peers her head over slightly to see you fast asleep and she can't help but chuckle fondly, "I mean it when I say it and I'll keep that promise, kid. You're never going to be alone again." She states, firmly.
The blondes' heart aches so much for all the crap that you have had to put up with through the years and now she'll do anything to make it better.
"Sleep well, bubs. I love you," Leah whispers, pressing a gentle kiss on the top of your forehead as she pulls you closer towards her, allowing you to sleep practically on top of her, allowing her to lie there and think through things with the determination of a way for you to finally be happy.
© scribblesofagoonerr
#woso x reader#woso fanfics#arsenal x reader#woso imagine#woso one shot#scribblesofagoonerr#arsenal women x reader#arsenal wfc x reader#woso#leah williamson x reader#heavy angst#inner demons fic
357 notes
·
View notes
Text
Just Take It | Bonus Drabble 5
Summary: Fracturing your ankle was the last thing you wanted to do this weekend but I guess it's not that bad when you have your handsome husband to be your caretaker. Slice of life drabble from the future 🤭 Pairing: Inexperienced f!reader x Best Friend's Dad Jungkook (20 year age gap) Word Count: 2.9k (damn it's been a while since I put one of these out haha) Warning: Some suggestive language if you squint really hard lmao, oc is a pouty baby because she's in pain lol a/n: Barely edited per usual Requested by: 🧜♀️ anon 🥰 Start from the beginning
"How are you feeling?" Jungkook asks me once we're both in the car. "Humiliated" I say, hissing when I try to readjust my leg. "People fall all the time when they're hiking darling it's not that big of a deal" he tries reassuring me but it only makes me feel worse.
"But it didn't even happen on a rocky part or anything. We were literally walking on flat ground" I groan, my embarrassment increasing after running through what happened in my head again, remembering how many people were staring at us.
"Honey it's okay" he chuckles, leaning over to help me with my seatbelt before he puts his on. "I basically tripped on air" I groan, not giving up on how mortified I am, the pain making everything seem so much worse.
"Hey" he says, cupping my face and making me look at him while he rubs the space between my eyebrows in an effort to smooth out the scowl I'm making, "It's not the end of the world, I promise. It might've been a little embarrassing but it happens to the best of us" he says and my scowl turns into a pout, calming down a little but still upset with myself.
"Did you really have to carry me like that?" I cringe at the thought of how ridiculous we probably looked. "Like what?" he furrows his brows, "Like you were carrying me over the threshold after our wedding" I say, covering my face as if it would help get rid of how shy I felt on top of the humiliation.
He chuckles as his only response leaving me slumping back in my chair, not wanting to snap at him just because of the pain I'm in.
"You sure it's only a sprain?" he asks and I hum, "I've had one before and it felt just like this so I'm sure I'll be fine once we get home and I can ice it" I say and he nods his head.
"Then let's get you home" he agrees and pulls out of the parking lot.
~~~~~
"Are you sure you don't wanna go to the hospital? I can schedule an appointment instead so we don't have to go to the ER if that's what you're worried about" he asks me for the fifth time tonight but I think I've gotta give in since I don't remember my ankle ever swelling up like this.
"Okay" I mumble and he walks up to where I'm sitting on the couch and kisses my forehead. "That's my girl" he praises, handing me the snacks he's prepared for our movie night before plopping down right next to me.
He rests his arm around the back of the couch so I can lean into him while he starts up the movie we chose but as the night goes by the pain gets worse and I have to remind him about making the appointment before we go upstairs to go to bed.
"I don't mind taking you to the ER if it's getting that bad" he says, looking at me with a pained expression, hating that I'm hurting. "I think I'll be alright for the night, can you just help me get upstairs?" I ask and he smirks remembering my earlier complaints.
"Does my bride need me to carry her to bed?" he taunts and I give in, agreeing with him and he gives me a soft smile and a kiss on my temple as a response.
"You ready for bed?" he asks and I nod my head, taking another look at my ankle and growing wary about what could've happened. He turns off the TV and stands up, scooping me into his arms, careful not to move too fast but I still hiss when my foot droops a bit and I notice that the pain killers have worn off.
My hiss turns into a whimper and right after I can feel tears start to well up in my eyes and I can't control it anymore, the pain hitting me in waves as he gets closer to the stairs but turns to walk towards the guest bedroom instead.
"I'm not taking you upstairs if you're crying from walking on flat ground. I really wish you would let me take you in already" he says, placing another kiss on my temple before he lays me down on the bed and quickly grabs some pillows to prop it up adjusting it for me until he sees i'm comfortable.
"No I can w-wait until morning" I say, choking back the tears now that it's supported again. "You sure?" he asks and I nod my head one last time and he decides to respect my wishes.
"Okay well your appointment is at eight AM so you'll have to wait until then to be seen. I'll call them when I wake up to see if they have any cancellations so we can get in earlier" he says and I give him a sad smile while when he wipes off my tear stained cheeks.
"I love you" I mumble and he chuckles, "I love you too baby. You know I'm always gonna take care of you. In sickness and in health remember" he says and I chuckle for a second or two.
"There's that smile I love" he says, cupping my face before leaning down and placing a kiss on my lips. "Can you get me some more pain killers please?" I mumble after he breaks the kiss. He hums in agreement, "Sure baby" he says and places one last kiss on my lips before he goes to get them.
He comes back with a glass of water and another snack making me smile. "I'm gonna go grab your phone charger for you too and this is just in case you get hungry in the middle of the night" he teases. "But aren't you gonna sleep in here too?" I ask, worried that he might leave me alone.
"I can't honey, I might move around too much and bump into your ankle. I don't want to hurt you" he says and I understand but I hate sleeping alone. "Okay" I say and pull the blanket over my head so he won't see how upset I am about all this. He knows though, he always knows.
"Bunny please don't cry" he say softly, kneeling down next to the bed once he hears the first sniffle. I had just been crying after being moved in here so the news of him not sleeping here with me was easy for me to get upset about. "I don't wanna sleep alone" I say under the blanket and he sighs, pulling it down so he can talk to me properly.
"I don't like sleeping alone either Bun but I can stay with you until you fall asleep if you want" he offers and I dry my tears and nod, satisfied with the compromise. I just don't like being alone when I'm hurting like this. I know we could just head to the hospital right now and then we can be together but I know both of us deserve some rest before going since I don't know how long we would be there at this hour.
He picks up the arm chair from the corner of the room and sets it right next to the bed. "You don't wanna just come a lay down?" I ask and he chuckles. "Oh I definitely want to but it would defeat the whole purpose. Just close your eyes and try to get some sleep okay?" he responds and I nod, doing as he says and soon I find myself drifting off.
~~~
When the alarm goes off for us to wake up I groan and reach for my phone to try and turn it off but instead of grabbing my phone I end up grabbing a shoulder, opening my eyes and finding Jungkook laying his head on my lap and an arm draped over my thighs while he's fast asleep.
I smile and finally reach my phone on the night stand and turn off the alarm. I lay there for a minute, admiring his sleeping face with his lips slightly parted letting out soft snores and I brush his hair out of his face so I can see him better, stirring him awake a little.
"Did you sleep in here all night?" I ask softly and he hums in contentment from the feeling of me playing with his hair before he responds. "I didn't want to leave you alone" he mumbles and my heart warms at that. "Thank you honey" I say, brushing my thumb along the scar on his cheek and he gives me a sleepy smile.
"We need to get ready to go" I remind him and he nods and takes a deep breath before sitting up slowly and cracking his back. "You should've gone up to bed Daddy" I tease and he narrows his eyes at me. "You better stop that before you start" he lets out in his deep morning voice and as much as I want to push it we really do have to get going.
~~~~
"If you took one last bad step you could've completely broken it" the doctor says, bringing the x-rays in so we can take a look and I wince seeing how deep the fracture had gone. "So what happens next?" Jungkook asks, letting me focus on the x-ray a bit more while he talks through the next steps with the doctor.
"We need to set everything back in place and put a cast on her. It'll take anywhere from six to twelve weeks to heal and from the looks of it it'll probably be closer to twelve. "That's three months!" I say in disbelief, dreading the fact that I'll have to be off my feet for that long.
"Yes but good news is the baby looks strong and healthy so you have nothing to worry about on that end" he says in regards to the ultrasound we had taken just to double and triple check on them especially after the x-ray. I landed on my ass so I wasn't too worried but it doesn't hurt to check.
"Thank God" Jungkooks says, taking my hand and giving it a gentle squeeze. "But no more hiking. You'll be around six months along if I'm not mistaken by the time your cast comes off and you'll have to take some time to restrengthen it afterwards" the doctor says and I nod my head in agreement.
"Got it" I respond and I can see Jungkook deflate a little since it's one of his favorite things to do together but he understands how important my health and safety is as well as the baby's.
"We can get you into surgery in the next twenty minutes or so so just hang tight and one of the nurses will come get you when we're ready" he says and we give him our thanks before he slips out, leaving us on our own.
"You okay?" Jungkook asks and I smile, "Yeah, I'm just glad they're okay" I say, placing my hand over my little baby bump and he places his right on top of mine. "Me too" he agrees and leans down to place a gentle kiss on my lips and we wait patiently in the room until they're ready for me.
~~~~~
After the surgery is done and dusted and he's managed to get me home he places me down on the couch, having carried me inside again even though I told him I was completely capable of using the crutches. He said, "No wife of mine will ever have to use those when I'm around" or something to that extent just to make me laugh, and it did.
"You take such good care of me" I say, blinking up at him slowly, still feeling a little out of it from the anesthesia since I knew I couldn't go through all of that if I was awake. "Just doing my job Bun" he says, leaning down to give me a kiss before going back outside to get my crutches out of the car, just in case I decide I want them.
After coming back inside he grabs the footstool and sets it up to I can keep my leg elevated and puts plenty of pillows as well just like last time. "Doc said the pain meds would start waring off soon and that I should have you eat something before you take your next dose. Any requests?" he asks, walking over to the basket of blankets we have in the living room to drape one over me.
Everything he's done has just made me fall more and more in love with him and at this point I didn't even realize that that was even possible. Maybe I just had low standards from before but I don't know, maybe this is what true love looks like. It's not in the big gestures or the lavish gifts. It's the simple things like this that matter the most.
"Bun?" he calls out to me and I realized I hadn't answered his question yet "Oh, um whatever you want is fine. You took me to my doctor's appointment and the pharmacy and everything so you can choose" I say and he nods, heading into the kitchen to start making us lunch and before I know it he's already grabbed a tray and placed it in front of me so I wouldn't have to go anywhere.
"Thank you honey" I say and he caresses my cheek before walking back to the kitchen to grab his food. When he's on his way back I hear the doorbell ring and look over at him, wordlessly questioning who might've come to stop by but he just smiles at me and opens the door, accepting some sort of food from a delivery driver which has me confused.
"What's that?" I ask, the plain white bag a mystery to me until the scent of fries hits me and my mouth is watering. He sees my eyes light up when I figure it out and he chuckles, "And I got you your favorite" he says, handing me one of the two drinks he had brought in as well and I already know what it is.
"Is that a mango milkshake?" I ask excitedly and he smiles while I take the lid off and take a sip, my milkshake mustache making him laugh. "That good huh?" he teases and I hum, "The baby was craving it" I say making excuses and he shakes his head but puts the fries on the plate next to the sandwich he made me.
I take a fry and dip it in the milkshake and take a bite, and I can see him laughing again. "What?" I ask, not seeing what about this could be so funny. "You always dance around when you're eating your favorite food" he says and I roll my eyes.
"Would you rather I dip a pickle in it like last time?" I cock a brow at him and he pretends to gag. "No please, not again" he shudders leaving me laughing at him instead.
"I still can't believe you made me try that" he mumbles and I refute it right away. "You're the one who wanted to try it!". "Well you should've stopped me if you knew I wouldn't like it" he argues back and I giggle at his horrified expression.
"How was I supposed to know that you wouldn't like it? They're called pregnancy craving for a reason Honey so you should've know better" I tease him and he grumbles something unintelligible under his breath.
"Just don't eat it today alright? I don't want to have to taste it when I kiss you" he shudders. "Who said I wanted to kiss you?" I say playfully and he looks at me and then looks at my foot that's still propped up and huffs, slumping back into the couch.
"What?" I laugh, not knowing what that reaction was for. "Just know that if you weren't wearing that cast right now you would've been thrown over my shoulder and dragged upstairs for that smart comment" he pouts and I laugh again, grabbing his arm and wrapping it around me, placing a kiss on his cheek for good mesasure.
"You know you love me" I say and he hums, "I do, and you better love me too or I'm taking back that milkshake" he says reaching for it and I smack his hand before he can get any closer. "I wouldn't be having your child if I wasn't in love with you dummy" I tease and he smiles and places a kiss on my cheek, making an aggressive smooching sound against it.
"Stop" I whine trying to push him off and his only response is to hug me tighter and pepper me with more kisses. "Alright, alright I give up!" I call out, hoping that'll make him stop and luckily it works. He finishes off by planting one last kiss on my lips and nudging his nose against mine before standing up and walking back over to the kitchen to grab a glass of water and the bottle with my pain meds.
"Eat up so you can take your medicine, I don't want you to be in pain again" he says switching back to my handsome caretaker and I do as I'm told, eating my fill and taking the medication.
"Thank you Honey" I say, hoping to display my sincerity and he gives me a soft smile. "You're welcome baby" he answers, placing a kiss on the top of my head and the rest of our day goes by in a blur, laughing and teasing each other until the sun goes down.
Like I said, it's the little things that matter to most and I guess it was just one of those days for us.
Series Masterlist
Taglist: @jkslipppiercing @trina864 @kaitieskidmore97 @goddesofimortality @coolbluedude @coralmusicblaze @whoa-jo @00frenchfries00 @pastelpinkjoon @joonwater Rest of the tags are in the reblogs 💜
Join my Taglist!
Feel free to fill out the form or just comment on any of my fics to be added :)
#jungkook fanfic#jungkook#fanfic#fanfiction#kpop#jeon jungkook#bts jungkook#bts#kpop fanfic#ask#jungkook bts#jungkook x reader#jungkook x you#jungkook x original character#jungkook x y/n#jungkook x oc#jungkook and you#jungkook and reader#just take it ask#just take it drabble#just take it#jti#jti ask
177 notes
·
View notes
Text
JUST A PRANK-PART TWO
The weeks stretched into months, each day without Y/N heavier than the last. At first, I thought I could fix things quickly, that with time, her anger would fade, and she’d realize how much we belonged together. But as the days passed with no word from her, reality began to sink in: I might have lost her for good.
I threw myself into football, hoping the sport I loved would distract me from the emptiness inside. But even on the pitch, I couldn’t escape the thoughts of her. Every goal, every victory felt hollow without Y/N to share it with. The perfume prank haunted me, the memory of her tears cutting deeper than any physical injury ever could. I replayed that night over and over, hating myself for the stupid mistake that had cost me everything.
I wanted to reach out, but every time I picked up my phone, fear held me back. What if she didn’t want to hear from me? What if she had already moved on? The thought was unbearable, so I did nothing, hoping that maybe, somehow, she would reach out first. But she never did.
Months passed. The silence between us grew louder, and the distance felt insurmountable. I heard from mutual friends that she was doing well, that she seemed happy, but no one mentioned if she was seeing someone new. I didn’t ask—I couldn’t bear to hear the answer if it was yes.
Eventually, I couldn’t take it anymore. I had to know where we stood, even if the truth was painful. So one evening, when the loneliness became too much, I finally worked up the courage to text her.
*Pablo: Hey. It’s been a while. Can we talk?*
I waited, my heart pounding in my chest as I stared at my phone, willing it to buzz with a reply. Minutes felt like hours, and I was on the verge of giving up when my phone finally lit up.
*Y/N: Pablo, I’m not sure that’s a good idea.*
Her response was polite, but distant, and it stung more than I expected. I swallowed the lump in my throat and typed back.
*Pablo: I just need to talk. Please, Y/N. One last time.*
There was a longer pause this time, and I could imagine her debating whether or not to reply. When her next message came, it was a small relief.
*Y/N: Okay. Tomorrow, 4 PM at the café?*
*Pablo: I’ll be there.*
The next day, I arrived early, my nerves on edge. The café felt smaller than I remembered, the walls closing in on me as I waited for her. I kept glancing at the door, my heart leaping every time someone walked in, only to fall again when it wasn’t her.
Finally, she arrived. My breath caught in my throat as I saw her—she looked as beautiful as ever, but there was something different about her, something I couldn’t quite place. Her eyes no longer held that same warmth when she looked at me, and it tore me apart.
“Hi,” she said, sitting down across from me.
“Hi,” I replied, trying to keep my voice steady. “Thanks for meeting me.”
She nodded, but didn’t smile. “What did you want to talk about, Pablo?”
I took a deep breath, trying to gather my thoughts. “I… I’ve missed you, Y/N. Every day without you has been hell. I know I messed up, and I’m not asking you to forgive me easily, but I need to know if there’s any chance for us.”
She looked down at her hands, her expression unreadable. “Pablo, I’ve had a lot of time to think since we broke up. And… I’ve realized that maybe we’re better off apart.”
Her words hit me like a punch to the gut. “You don’t mean that.”
She met my gaze, her eyes filled with a sad resolve. “I do. I loved you, Pablo. But you hurt me in a way I never expected, and I don’t think I can ever fully trust you again. And without trust… we can’t have a relationship.”
I felt like the ground was falling out from under me. “Please, Y/N. I’ll do anything to fix this. I’ll spend the rest of my life proving to you that you can trust me.”
She shook her head, a single tear slipping down her cheek. “It’s not that simple. I’m sorry, Pablo, but I can’t go through that pain again. I’ve moved on… I’ve started seeing someone else.”
The world seemed to stop. The words echoed in my mind, a harsh reality that I wasn’t prepared for. She had moved on. Someone else was making her smile, was holding her close, was filling the space that I had left empty.
I wanted to be angry, to blame her for giving up on us, but I couldn’t. I was the one who had driven her away. I was the one who had broken her trust.
“I see,” I managed to say, my voice hollow. “I’m happy for you… if you’re happy.”
She nodded, wiping away her tears. “I am. And I want you to be happy too, Pablo. I want you to find someone who makes you feel whole again.”
The pain in my chest was unbearable, but I forced myself to smile for her sake. “You deserve the best, Y/N. I just wish it could have been me.”
She reached across the table, squeezing my hand gently. “You’re a good person, Pablo. You’ll find someone who loves you just as much as I did. But it’s time for both of us to move on.”
I nodded, unable to trust my voice. We sat in silence for a few moments, both of us knowing that this was truly the end.
“I wish you all the best,” she said quietly, pulling her hand back.
“You too,” I replied, my heart breaking as I watched her stand up.
She gave me one last, sad smile before turning and walking out of the café, leaving me alone with nothing but the echo of what we once had.
As I sat there, staring at the empty chair across from me, I realized that I had to let her go. She had moved on, and I had to do the same. But the pain of losing her, the regret of how things ended, would stay with me for a long time.
Maybe forever.
@gavisfanta @spidybaby @pablitogavii
@lucy90712 @monzabee
#gavi#gavi imagine#gavi x reader#gavi x you#pablo gavi#football#football imagine#football shorts#gavi smut#pablo gavi imagine#fc barcelona#pablo gavi x you#pablo gavi smut#pablo gavi x reader#fc barca#barcelona gp 2024#barcelona femeni#barca femeni#fandom#fanfic#fanart
105 notes
·
View notes
Text
LIKE AN OLEANDER
Summary: Bill Cipher needs a footstool and a thoroughly Stockholmed Ford is happy to oblige.
Relationships: Bill Cipher & Ford Pines, Pyronica is there too
Content Warnings: Abuse, Master/Pet, Psychological Torture/Horror/Trauma, Stockholm Syndrome, Victim Blaming, Sensory Deprivation
Tags: Triangle Bill, Canon Divergence - Weirdmageddon, Bill Cipher Wins, Collars, Chains, Whump, Hurt No Comfort, Bill Cipher is a Jerk
Word Count: 1,306
Link to AO3: Here
A/N: Based on @jellyskink’s immaculate Domesticated Ford AU, in which Bill mentally breaks Ford in the 1980s and brainwashes him into an obedient and fawning pet. Weirdmageddon started early, and over time the weirdness bubble surrounding Gravity Falls naturally expanded to contain both California and Oregon. If you want to learn more, there’s a lot more tidbits on their blog, though fair warning it’s a pretty dark and sad AU.
Thank you, jellyskink, for giving me the green light to write a fic for this!
I saw someone say this au is “all pain, no sex” which is really at the heart of what I look for in fics, but is so painstakingly absent in most fandoms, so this is a godsend •⩊•
If you haven’t listened to “Oleander” by Mother Mother what are you even doing with your life /lh
Bill Cipher is in a particularly good mood today. He and Pyronica probably broke a record for largest bonfire in California, even counting all their previous antics over the years. Not the dream demon’s most creative endeavor by a long shot, but hey, sometimes you just gotta start a blazing inferno to let off some steam. Nothing wrong with a bit of simple, straightforward arson now and then.
It’s only when he returns to the Fearamid, practically glowing, buzzing and high off the screams of the innocent, that he remembers the state he left Sixer in.
The man is in a kneeling position, collared by the neck. His hair, fluffy and disheveled, feathers down to around his shoulders, brushing against the cruel blue metal. His twelve fingers twitch and grasp at nothing, futilely, as though groping for purchase on a rugged cliffside. His purple sweater is rumpled in places, like he had pulled and grabbed at that too, to no evident avail. He’s whimpering to himself, words that are at first indiscernible as Bill enters the massive chamber.
The scientist is tethered to a ring near the base of the Throne of Frozen Human Agony, staring vacantly into the middle space, unseeing. It’s not his fault. Bill severed all input from his optic nerves, so he literally can’t see. Or hear. Or feel. Yeah, he cut off those nerves too. It was supposed to be a punishment that lasted a few hours. And then Bill had left and gotten carried away with his fun, and well, it had been an entire day.
Whoops.
Make no mistake, he doesn’t feel bad about it. If anything, it’s kind of funny, like forgetting to feed your dog! Wait. Humans don’t find that funny. Well, who can expect them to understand the emotions of an all-powerful chaos god? He draws closer, and the previously indiscernible words sharpen into clarity.
“I love you, my muse. I love you.”
Repeated ad nauseam to the uncaring void.
“Aww,” Bill clasps his hands together and brings them closer to his eye. “He’s so pathetic!” Pyronica, who came in with him, nods her agreement and laughs along. This must be what it’s like to catch your puppy mid-dream, its little tongue lolling and leg kicking at nothing.
He can’t remember whether he instructed his pet to repeat those words or not. Honestly, it’s anyone’s guess. Bill’s will and Ford’s are so inextricable at this point that Ford often does things without needing to be told. Of course, they’re not entirely on the same wavelength, or else punishment wouldn’t be required in the first place.
“Eh, remind me to snap him out of it in another half an hour,” Bill says, settling himself on the throne. With a wave of an arm he summons a martini glass. “I’m gonna have myself a drink.”
“Sure thing, boss.” He summons a glass for her too, and hipshot, she accepts. “Hey, you think we should’ve put the fire out before we left?”
They both share a hearty chuckle over that. “Would be a shame if it all burned down!” Bill sighs as the laughter dies down. “Nah, but seriously. California will still be there for us to play with tomorrow. And if it isn’t, we can always just rebuild it! In my image! Ha!”
“Yeah. Technically the fires are my image though.”
“Touché!”
They talk for a while, maybe 20 minutes or so in this fashion, casually sipping time punch and discussing unnatural disasters like they’re music festivals. Ford goes completely untouched and unnoticed, until suddenly Bill returns his attention to the human, and a light bulb goes off next to his hat.
“Wait. Do you wanna see something hysterical? I have the best idea.”
Every sensation returns to Ford at once in a flood of color, touch and sound. Sometimes, when Bill is feeling merciful, he eases him back into it, but his merciful moods are few and far between. More commonly, he likes to toss the scientist in the deep end and watch him flounder, tears quickly beading at the corners of Ford’s eyes and spilling fatly over his cheeks. His body convulses in a singular, broken sob, and before he can finish another apologetic, “I love you,” Bill hits him with a hard command.
“Stanford! I need a footstool!” The demon extends his legs and wiggles his feet a little. He whistles as though beckoning a dog. “Come ‘ere!”
Despite his disorientation, Ford rushes to obey, lurching in the direction of Bill’s voice and falling flat on his face. Shakenly, he picks himself off the ground, letting loose a singular groan.
“I’m still waiting!” Bill sings, swinging his legs a little for effect. Pyronica snickers. Ford tries again, following the sound of his muse’s voice, although he is quickly dismayed to find that he’s already reached the end of his chain. He falls just short of Bill’s feet, and no matter how he chokes himself, no matter how hard he tugs at the collar or the chain attached, he can’t go any further than this. His distress is evident in the way he keens.
“What are you doing?” Bill demands, rolling his eye. “All I asked for was a simple footstool and you can’t even do that? Bad! Bad dog!” Ford sobs.
“I-I’m sorry, my muse!” he rasps, the cold metal of the collar pressing in on his windpipe as he strains to obey. “I’m so sorry!”
Pyronica is practically in stitches at this point, and Bill is a showman, a class clown ever chasing the next laugh. “Are you really though?” His eye wanes to an amused crescent. “Do you even love me, if you can’t even follow a command as simple as this?”
“Yes!” Ford insists with a cry. “Yes, my muse, I love you! I’m sorry that I’m so useless… Please, please forgive me…”
“Why should I? Do you think you deserve forgiveness?”
“N- No,” Ford sniffs, “but—”
“Alright, alright. Since I’m in such a good mood, I’ll give you a hand.” Bill waves his hand in a circle and the chain elongates, allowing just enough slack for Ford to crawl under his waiting feet. Bill settles them heavily on top of Ford’s back and sighs. “Ahh, that’s better.” The man shakes under the weight.
“Thank you, my muse,” he says. Normally, he would be a lot happier about serving Bill like this, but he’s clearly still torn up over his recent punishment and failures. “Thank you so much.”
“Don’t mention it, kid!” Bill rests his hands behind his ‘head,’ or rather, the tip of his topmost vertex. “Maybe after this, if you’re good, you can have a treat.”
“R- Really? Oh, thank you so much, my muse. I promise I’ll be good.” His voice is still wavery from the earlier-shed tears, but his cheer seems to be returning. It’s not difficult to keep the man happy when he’s so thoroughly and hopelessly smitten with his muse. Bill could have Pyronica drop-kick Ford off the top of the Fearamid right now and when he reached the bottom he would find a way to smile and thank Bill, no matter how many broken pieces he was in.
“Yeah. Now shut up while I get some reading in. Hasn’t anyone ever told you footstools don’t talk? Sheesh.” With a sigh, Bill summons an extradimensional magazine and floats it in front of his eye, every so often flipping through the pages. Pyronica says she’s off to see what Teeth and Keyhole are up to, and Bill acknowledges her departure with a little grunt and wave. Ford stifles a whimper. His back has already been giving him issues lately, and this definitely isn’t helping matters, but he soldiers through it for his muse. He’s determined not to mess up again. He’s determined to be a good footstool.
A/N: This is my first time writing from Bill’s perspective! I don’t usually write him this cruel, so it was a fun change of pace to lean full force into that side of him. Thanks again, jellyskink, I hope you liked this little installment!
#Domesticated Ford AU#gravity falls#gravity falls au#bill cipher#ford pines#stanford pines#fanfic#fanfiction#archive of our own#ao3#tw abuse#toxic relationship#stockholm syndrome#image description in alt#cross posted on ao3#matcha-milkies ♡♡
89 notes
·
View notes
Text
SKZ's reaction to your death ver. maknae line
hyung line (please pay attention to this work, I tried 😿)
It pains me to write this work, my heart breaks and I begin to believe in this nonsense... BUT REMEMBER THAT ONLY PERSONALITIES ARE TAKEN FROM THE REAL SKZ, EVERYTHING REST IS FICTION!
Mentions of explosions, drugs, addictions, fatal diseases, a lot of tears, fatal diseases . ANGST.
Han Jisung
He begged you not to go, because he had a nightmare where you died.
You just laughed it off and kissed Jisung on the cheek, what could have happened?
He literally knew this would happen.
He calls Changbin: “The company building Y/N was in was blown up.”
He knew.
He felt nothing, complete emptiness.
His hands were shaking madly, he wanted to disappear.
Your body was not found, perhaps it was torn to pieces.
An empty coffin was buried, it's so scary.
The feeling of your morning kiss is still on his cheek. You promised him to come in the evening and watch new episodes of anime.
But you'll never come back again.
He dreams about you, but he wants more.
Yes, he will start taking drugs to prolong the effect of your presence.
Members will notice this only over time.
Minho and Hyunjin dragged Jisung to psychotherapist and addiction specialists while the other members cleared out Jisung's room.
You are no longer in his room, there is nothing connected with you there anymore.
“Jisung, Y/N wouldn’t like it that you became a drug addict.”
"There is no more Y/N, which means I don’t care about myself."
His eyes are full of pain, he hasn’t cried since your death, the tears just won’t come.
"It's like I died with her"
"Bro, you need to move on with your life for her sake, she would want that."
"What's the point if it doesn't exist?"
"You're destroying yourself"
Jisung doesn't care.
He walks a lot, he doesn't eat and he writes a lot, he wrote so many lyrics.
Felix spoon feeding Jisung is so wrong.
He needs to learn to take care of himself.
No one else will be as caring as you.
Han Jisung will never cry, because he sees you regularly, he practically doesn’t miss you anymore.
After a while he will return to drugs again, it just hurts him. he misses.
And again he will go to a narcologist and psychotherapist.
And again, again, again. It's a vicious circle.
He doesn’t want you to leave, stay with him some more. He can't handle it.
Lee Felix
"You are very beautiful today, Y/n"
"Lixie, I feel worse every day... don't say that."
"But you are so beautiful..we will get out together"
He lied, you won't get out. He lied to you and himself.
He forbade the doctors to tell you about your condition. Everything was handed over to him personally.
He knew you didn't have much time left.
On your last day, he baked you your favorite cookies, as if he felt that you would leave him.
He wasn't ready.
Late in the evening, he fed you cookies and read your favorite book, you squeezed his hand tightly.
"Felix, I love you very much...you are my happiness, freckle"
Your last words. The sun has gone out, the world is falling apart.
Changbin and Minho led him out of the room; other participants were already waiting in the corridor.
It was so painful and empty, as if happiness had disappeared. You disappeared.
He returned to the dorm, his request to return to your apartment was refused.
You refused to be hospitalized until the very end, but Felix still managed to drag you to the hospital. You even felt better.
He was lying on his back in a cold bed, it was cold without you.
This will be his first birthday without you.
He doesn't want to celebrate it.
Your stuffed animal was lying on his bed, he held it tightly in his hands.
It hurt, he was all alone now.
This will go on for several weeks. Felix doesn't remember anything, like stills from a movie.
Members constantly come to see him.
He pretends to live, and is even happy that it’s his birthday. His first birthday without your presence.
He doesn't want it that way.
"Felix, let's go, you need to take a walk."
Chan lifted Felix out of bed, washed him, changed him and fed him. Felix is so grateful to Chan.
Chan drove Felix to your apartment, he said he would pick Felix up later.
Everywhere there was the smell of you and your love, on the table there was food for Felix and the usual note. The bed is rumpled.
He fell to his knees, tears streaming down his cheeks. it absolutely hurt, he felt nothing but pain.
For some reason, for the first time he felt so painful and sad. In general, Felix is very vulnerable, but...
He never imagined how he would cry over the loss of someone.
He couldn't even contact your family.
You had no family or friends; you were abandoned as a child. Felix and SKZ were the only people close to you.
You never really wanted to tell Felix about your family, it was too painful to remember.
He so wanted to hug you, stroke your pretty cheeks and tell you that everything is good in this world. you have nothing to fear.
You loved it when he hugged you and smiled brightly.
He always lied.
He always lied and said that your condition was improving.
Did he regret that he lied? No
He was delaying the moment of death for you.
He put on your huge sweater, your bright smell is on it. He loves this smell so much.
He loves you so much.
Loving people don't leave. stupid lie.
Why does it hurt so much? Why does it hurt so much to love someone?
Then Chan took him, Felix might feel better for a few days.
Felix will even appear at a fashion event.
But...
You will have to bury two coffins, he will die after you.
Felix realized that it was so stupid... it was stupid to live without you.
You will find him in the afterlife, right?
" Lee Felix 15.09.2000–08.10.202*"—"Lee Y/N 01.01.2000–08.09.202*"
Kim Seungmin
You were strangled in an alley while returning home.
Kim didn't have time to meet you.
He blamed himself and only himself.
Your body was found only in the morning.
Pale suits you, dear.
Seungmin looked at you as usual, like you were the eighth wonder of the world...why did you go to that alley?
No, Seungmin never cries.
He did not ask for the support of his members or the support of his family, he will cope on his own, as always.
He will become closed and taciturn. The company won't even release a statement about his rest.
He will throw himself into his work, he will work day and night.
The members are too worried about his condition.
Seungmin doesn't feel anything anymore, he doesn't feel joy, sadness, or pain.
As if the body exists separately from him. Inside he is nobody.
He returns to your shared apartment only a few weeks later, his lips frozen: “Y/N, I’m home.”
But there was no one at home except him.
The apartment is dark and cold, it was so empty without you.
On the dresser he will find an envelope with a letter, you left him one every time when he returned late.
It said: “I love you very much, Kim Seungmin. Come to me in my dreams.”
This was not as usual, you had never written to him like this.
Everything that had accumulated over several weeks came out.
Seungmin hates crying, he never cries.
Tears flow limply down his face as he presses the paper to his chest.
You won't come back anymore, it's time to get used to it.
He will find your album with photos, he is so in love with you.
Then he will fall asleep and see you in his dreams for the first time. Thank you for coming.
then you told him to move on... but how to live without you?
For the first time, he felt unbearable pain and despair.
He will write songs about you, breathing you and living in the past.
Why does Kim Seungmin continue to live?
Yang Jeongin
Baby, he killed you himself.
How did it happen?
"I could be a better boyfriend than him"
He was always very jealous of you, but to the point of killing you?
This is a terrible case.
Jeongin has no regrets, you're mine or nobody's
No one will know about this, it is disguised as an accident. What a pity.
Perhaps he will be bored.
He's so bored without you
A few times he will come to your grave, it's quite rude.
He keeps all your things with him, he will never be missed, you are nearby.
tell me why did you kill her?
“Jeongin, why don’t you miss her?”
"She is forever in my heart"
It's like he's lying.
"I killed her simply because I was so jealous." Pure confession
He might even cry to show that he misses you.
You don't want to look for it in the next life, a very cruel death at the hands of a loved one.
And Jeongin won’t look for anyone else, because he loves YOU.
Sometimes his conscience torments him, but he did it for the good.
#stray kids#stray kids x reader#stray kids imagines#stray kids headcanons#stray kids reactions#stray kids x y/n#stray kids x you#skz x y/n#skz x you#skz x reader#skz jisung#skz felix#skz hyunjin#skz changbin#skz bang chan#skz lee know#skz seungmin#skz jeongin#felix x y/n#jeongin x reader#jisung x reader#seungmin x you#skz headcanons#skz reactions#stray kids angst#skz angst#angst
195 notes
·
View notes
Text
Behind The Facades | Part II
An unrequited pining over a certain super solider.
Navigation: Part I || Part II || Part III (end)
Words: 3.3k++
Pairings: avenger!bucky x female!reader
Warnings: angst. pent up anger. unspoken jealousy. conflicted feelings.
P/S: i heard you. i got you. since lots of you enjoyed the supposedly oneshot, so i decided to do a continuation for this couple. Hope you enjoy~
Read my other works here: Masterlist
Weeks gone by, months flown through and the team was already accustomed Bucky's girlfriend wandering around the tower. Though they thought she would move-in eventually, knowing that Tony allowed them to do so, but she hadn't done it yet.
While Y/N, on the other hand, felt like she was constantly walking on thin ice. Being tug in between holding herself together and breaking down.
What's worst about this was, deep down, Y/N wanted to hate her.
Gail Richards.
Bucky's girl.
A gorgeous red-head, sultry champagne-colored eyes, a deep dimple on her right cheek, sculptured body of goddess and heart of gold.
Y/N got to admit that she hated how perfect Gail was for Bucky. She had such a kind soul; it's impossible not to fall for her. In hindsight, she was exactly what Bucky needed in his life.
What he deserve.
And in the end, Gail managed to steal not just Bucky's heart, but also the entire team's.
Including Y/N herself.
The friendship between Gail and Y/N was true and genuine; even if it hurts her everytime when she was forced to see Gail canoodling with the man she had fallen madly in love with.
"So where's the date? Did he tell you or is it a surprise kind of thing?" Gail's questions snapped Y/N from her deep internal thoughts.
Her gaze fell into her own reflection in the mirror; she was fitted with a simple black satin dress, with a quite scandalous slit on one side on her thigh. Standing behind her, was Gail, helping her out with the pearl necklace she was graciously lending it to Y/N.
"I don't remember the name but it's that new michelin star restaurant." Y/N replied as she straighten her dress, suddenly feeling conscious of how tight the dress was hugging her body.
"Oh! I know that fancy new restaurant. It opened last week, right? Bucky and I haven't had the chance to go yet. I heard it's pretty hard to get reservation. I must say, I'm impressed."
While Gail seemed to approve of Y/N's date, she didn't notice the way Y/N's body froze as she mentioned Bucky's name.
Her fingers were itching to dug it's nails somewhere, anywhere; as she try to keep her composure as neutral as possible, "Yeah, I'll definitely give you my review before you guys go on a date there. Who knows if its not up to the standards, right?"
Oh, how desperate she was on wanting to hide her pain away.
"That's great, y/n! But, I'd rather you actually enjoy the date rather than secretly being an undercover food critique. Forget about everything and have fun for once! Who knows this one is a keeper, huh?" Gail rubbed her hands to side of Y/N's arms; her eyes brighten as she encouraged her.
Ignorance is truly a bliss; though it's not that she knows that Y/N had been in love with Bucky this whole time.
On the other hand, Bucky was starting to feel the effects of what Gail had warned him before. He doesn't want to feel like she doesn't love him because she does.
At least she tries to.
Persuing Gail was not necessarily easy; not because he was lacking or she played hard to get. But because of how honest she was; how self aware she was.
"Being with me is a hell of a challenge, Bucky. My emotions are unpredictable. Today, I will love you ever so truly; I will drown you with all the kisses and cuddles you could ever imagine but the next day you might not being able to talk to me or even see me."
"I'll go M.I.A and isolate myself from the world at any time, with no warning. I shut down without any reason."
"I might not be there for you when you needed me the most. I might abandon you when all you wanted for me to stay."
"Worst part about it is I won't feel sorry for what I did because I can barely feel anything during those time."
But he insisted to try.
Maybe it was the sudden surge of passion when he met her but he was determined that they could make it work.
So, try they did.
As his relationship with Gail progresses, his and y/n's started to astray. He noticed y/n has been keeping her distance with him since he got together with Gail.
She had been cooped up in her room more often. There was a gradual changes in their schedule. Lesser trips to the corndog stall that y/n was obsessed with, canceled trips on visiting Alpine, the cute little kitten they have been eyeing at the adoption center, and almost none of the late night coffee trips.
He missed her.
From her annoying laugh to her odd habit of scratching things in her sleep.
Her smile, her voice, her presence.
He missed all of it.
He missed her.
Which was why Bucky thought it was better to talk it out with her. Maybe there was some sort of misunderstanding that needed to be clear out.
It took just single knock before Bucky intrude himself into Y/N's room, "Hey, y/n I don't want to disturb you but can we..." Bucky's sentence did not managed to end with a period, thus his words was instead left hanging just like his mouth.
"Oh, wow."
For a moment there, Bucky literally forgot how to breath. It was as if the reality around him was deteriorating, leaving just the perfect view of Y/N. For a split second, his gaze seemed to dilated into a trance, slowly getting bewitched by the beauty before him.
Bucky was so captivated by how, almost sinfully, beautiful Y/N looked in that dress, he didn't notice his own girlfriend was standing right next to her.
Gail carefully slide her way towards Bucky as she prompted, "So... what do you think, Buck? Gorgeous isn't she?" A dreamy sigh escaped from Gail's lips as she admire the woman in front of her.
"Yes. Yes, she is."
Those were the words Bucky wanted to say but his mouth wasn't listening to his heart, rather it followed his head, "I didn't know you were coming over, honey." Bucky arms reached towards Gail as he scooped her close to him, placing a soft kiss on her cheek.
It was subtle but if they paid enough attention, they could see how Y/N's gaze quickly shifted downwards to her feet. Her teeth sunk between the insides of her left cheek as an effort to distract herself from the thunderstorm within her chest. A little bit more force on her teeth would've tore her up and left her bleeding from the inside.
How much longer she must be in this torment? How much suffering her heart needs to endure until it adapt to the pain? She's tired of the ache in her chest but at the same time she can't help it when her heart yearn for a love that's never going to be hers.
"Well? Is she not goddamn beautiful?" Gail playfully slapped Bucky's arm, demanding her question to be answered.
"I mean..." Bucky stuttered to find words. Especially when those round doe eyes of Y/N's spark with anticipation.
All those milliseconds of time Bucky had to think of an appropriate, truthful answer but somehow he only come up with, "...i guess, you could do better."
Idiot.
Straight up dumb.
Bucky immediately regret his words when the gleam in Y/N's eyes suddenly faded; turning into something cold and stoic.
Gail huffed in denial, before taking Y/N's side, "Then you sir, need to check your eyes because she's absolutely stunning". Y/N gave a small smile as Gail pulled her for a side hug.
"Why are you dressed up anyway?" Bucky wanted change the topic before he said something stupid again.
There was a noticeable pause on Y/N's side as he asked, as if she was unwilling to tell him. However, the reluctantcy only arouses his curiosity.
Y/N turned around and faced the mirror. As she fixed the necklace near her collarbone, she made an eye contact with Bucky through his reflection and answered, "I have a date."
Something shifted in the air; as if it was getting heavier, sturdier.
"Who's the guy?" Bucky was clearly not amused with the idea. It barely filtered through his stern tone.
"Daniel. One of the SHIELD agent I worked with before." Y/N noticed how his expression morphed into a frown.
"Why is he making that face? "
Bucky seethed, "That douchebag? Really y/n?" There's a hint of disappointment in his voice; like how a father would scold his daughter of doing something stupid.
And that ticked her off.
She's a grown-ass woman; she can do whatever she wants, date whoever she wants. None of it was Bucky's concern.
"What do you mean?" Annoyance flowed through her tone.
Bucky rolled his eyes as he recognized that name.
Daniel.
That scumbag whose always staring at her. And not in a cute, crush-like way. There's nothing innocent about the way he stare at Y/N's ass and boobs, or always finding excuses to touch her.
However, Y/N has been oblivious to it since Bucky had always been with her.
Since when did that douche got close to Y/N? How did he managed to get Y/N agree to go to a fucking date with him? More importantly, how did Bucky not know all of this?
There was this uncontrollable, unexplainable rage within Bucky that he was unable to contain; like a venomous poison it seeped through his head, "Are you that needy to even consider going out with such scum? Come on, y/n. You're being naive, it's ridiculous." Bucky scoffed as his tone laced with scorn and mockery.
Gail gasped in complete shock, "What is wrong with you, Bucky? That's not--"
"That's not fair. How can you have the luxury to fall in love and lived happily ever after while I have to continue to break and break, again and again?"
"Ridiculous? Am I a fucking joke to you, Bucky?!" Y/N could hold back her own anger as she turned towards him. His face remained the way that it is; red and furious and he was not willing to put his ego down either.
"You know what?" Y/N swerved towards the bed, "I am going to go this date with Daniel, whether you like or not..." She took her purse on the edge of the mattress, "...and I am going to enjoy every second of it!"
"Thanks, Gail. I really appreciate your help today." Y/N smiled as she briefly took Gail's hands into hers. Blinking in confusion, Gail replied, "Y-yeah.. sure--" though her speech was cut short when Y/N interrupted.
"And you!" Y/N shot a glare towards Bucky before marching towards him, "You can go fuck yourself." She clashed her shoulders into Bucky's before walking out her own room.
Bucky gritted his teeth; his jaw clenched in pure vexation as his frown grew deeper.
Looking at her very angry looking boyfriend, Gail let out a tired sigh, "Why would you say such thing to her, Bucky?
Why did he say those things?
He could explain it much better way, knowing that he had plausible reason to why he thinks she should not go to this date.
But, why did he not do that?
Why did he lash out and spat those hurtful things to her?
Even Bucky himself was not sure why.
After that Bucky spent the rest of the night at the gym, and this was the third punching bag that he had completely destroyed. He could see his girlfriend coming in from the corner of his eyes, with an emergency kit in her hand.
She sat at a nearby bench before, "Bucky sweetheart, come here." Gail softly asked him sit with her.
Despite the grunts and gruffs that slipped from his lips, he still obeyed her; though partially was because she had been sternly staring at him.
Gail gently remove his boxing glove of his right hand, then lo and behold his knuckles was crushed and bloodied.
"The wrappings is there for a reason, you know?" She knew he would this; especially when he is guided by rage. Bucky remained silent, knowing that if he did not control his anger first; then he would probably do the same thing he did to Y/N again.
There was a comfortable silence as Gail was tending his wounds. Bucky looked down at her, focusing on cleaning the wounds. She was always careful and tender while handling Bucky; as if she was taking care of a child.
"You love her, don't you?" Gail calmly asked as she started to wrap Bucky's hand.
The question caught him by surprise, "What do you mean?"
She chuckled softly, "y/n. You love her. Am I right?" she reclarify.
It didn't need a genius to figure out how Bucky truly feels about Y/N. Even if he himself if not aware of his own feelings.
But she can see right through him.
She noticed how attentive was Bucky towards y/n. How he looked at her; like she's his whole world. How every single thing he does somehow relates back to Y/N; and he cannot go by a day without mentioning her name in their any conversation. How peaceful looked when y/n is anywhere near him.
She noticed every single one of those detail.
"Of couse, I do. It's y/n we're talking about here." Bucky replied as-matter-of-factly. Though there was some truth in his answer but it was not all.
Gail shook her head lightly as she holds Bucky's wounded hand in hers, "No, Bucky. You love her." Her brows crunched into a pleading curve as her gaze turned gentle.
Bucky frowned in confusion; he looked down at his hand where her thumb caressing his knuckles and he thought back all the moments he spent with y/n.
From the very first day he met her, on those nights she stayed with him, through thick and thin, her eyes on his, her smile on his cheek, her laugh in his arms, her voice in his ears, her skin on left arm, everything flashed through him so fast until a single moment when he realizes.
"I love her."
Gail recognized the glint his eyes, "And she loves you too, Buck." She coaxed.
The frown on his face turned into a shock as she spoke. Even if Y/N does love him, what does that mean?
"What are you saying?"
"Go." Her voice were somehow calmer than she was supposed to speak in such a dire situation.
Bucky knew what she meant; he knew what those eyes were telling him, "Gail, you--"
She cut him before he could say anything, "We did agree to see where will this take us..." her smiled was somehow bitter-sweet, "And I guess this is our end of the line."
A hit of pain struck Bucky's heart, "You don't have to do this." His left hand raised to tenderly cupped her cheeks; it was warm. Unlike his winter cold hand, she was warm. Like the soft heat from the morning sun.
She placed her hand on top of his as she craved a reassuring smile, "I want to."
And that broke Bucky's heart. And it broke for her.
He loved Gail.
All the feelings he felt for her was real. As real as the feelings he felt for Y/N. The only difference was he didn't realized he was in love with Y/N, but he did with Gail.
"And to be honest, I'm not sure I can keep up with the emotional commitments, I'm always M.I.A and lost in my own head..."
As Gail starts to ramble, Bucky wasn't hearing any of it. His eyes stings and his vision blurred.
There was only so much any man can handle.
There was joy in realizing his was in love with Y/N but there was also agony in knowing he had to break Gail's heart. Unable to hold back his emotions anymore, his tears finally broke out.
She was prepared not to cry today but seeing Bucky like this; who wouldn't tear up, right?
"Hey hey hey, I'll be okay. We'll be okay." She placed her palm on Bucky's cheeks, wiping away the tears with her thumb as she lead his gaze to her own.
"Bucky, listen to me. I don't want you feeling like you're alone." she cooed, her eyes had gotten glassy as tears filled within them. "You deserve so much more than what I can offer you, do you understand?" Bucky can simply nod as he feels like his voice will betray him.
"Good." Gail closed her eyes and leaned into a kiss. A soft innocent kiss on his forehead, as their tears fall on each other's bare skin, "Now, go get your girl."
<< Part I || Part III >>
Read my other works here: Masterlist
A/N: Feel free to leave some feedback behind! And what do you think of Gail? I thought it'd be nice to have a different characteristics for her instead of the cliche 'bitchy and rude' girlfriend.
There's no actual taglist. So, I only include those who reblogged with comments and/or commented on the previous part. However, do tell if you want or do not want to be tagged.
Taglist: @ghostofwinter @angstysebfan @erinallene @mishkatelwarriorgoddess @paarthurnax59 @nomajdetective @kentokaze @dexter99 @nana1000night @prettyinpink350
#winterarmyyfics#behind the facades au#bucky x reader#bucky x you#bucky barnes au#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes x you#avenger!bucky#bucky angst
976 notes
·
View notes
Text
Lia Walti x Williamson! Reader - Everton
a/n: did say my other fic would be out on sunday but life’s just got really hectic so here’s a smaller one while i finish up with the other one
warnings: none!
————————————
i’ve known wally since forever, her and my older sister, leah, have been best friends since i could remember
just like my sister i had worked my way through the age ranks at arsenal before eventually making my debut at 18
i played along side leah as the cb duo and learnt so much off my older sister
there is a massive gap in our age difference between us two but that’s never really been a problem and if anything made our friendship stronger
wally and i had been seeing each other, much to leah’s dismay, off and on for a few months a couple of years ago before i eventually found the nervous and asked her to be my girlfriend
that’s how we found ourselves here today in a two year relationship and happy as ever
“i’ve got a bad feeling about today” wally said as she came and sat herself in my cubby, myself just finishing getting ready to go out into the tunnel
i knocked my knee against hers
“you’ll be fine wally, what’s making you feel like that?” i asked softly as i slipped my match shirt on
“someone’s going to get injured today” she shook her head, i placed my hand into hers and nudged her chin to look at me
“if it’s really distracting you then tell jonas and i’m sure you can sit this one out” i said softly as she shook her head
“it’s too soon until the match kicks off, i’ll be fine” she said as she pushed herself up and out of my cubby, making her way to the changing rooms door
yet she was far from fine…
—————
i remember every single detail of the injury
we were in the second half, lotte and me as the centre backs because leah was out with an injury
everton were on the outskirts of the box when lia pushed out too apply pressure
i watched her get the ball and start to dribble before aggies went studs up into her ankles
i winced at the tackle, wally immediately collapsing to the floor and letting out a scream
i was still far back from eveyone and could see everything going on, i watched how lotte and katie push aggie while other shouted at her
i got it, if it was another day with a player that wasn’t so young i probably would have done the exact same thing
but this was different, aggie was still learning, she didn’t mean the tackle and clearly was inexperienced
i’ve played with aggie at england and she’s the nicest person ever, she didn’t purposely mean to hurt lia and was just eager to prove herself
i also knew that she was most likely going to receive a lot of hate on social media from this
of course the first thing i wanted to do was make sure lia was alright but i had to make sure aggie was okay and take her away from this situation
i pushed katie and lotte out of the way while also pushing the few others that were letting their anger be known from their words
they had every right to be mad, as a team we were already struggling with injuries and this was another one added to the list
i wrapped my arm around aggie’s shoulder
“come on” i said sofltly as i walked her away from the situation, i could see the tears building up in her eyes as we separated ourselves from the massive group near the box
“i didn’t mean to y/n” she shook her head as she bent down and covered her face
“ay i know aggie, i know” i said as i pulled her back up and pulled her into a hug
“it’s a learning experience okay, wally will be okay and the girls are just caught up in the moment” i reassured her as i felt her nod against my shoulder
“you’re eager to prove yourself, that’s it, you weren’t purposely going for her ankle okay” i added as one of her teammates walked over and smiled gratefully at me
i let her take over as i jogged back over to wally, now my whole attention was on her
“where the fuck have you been?” katie snapped as i bent down next to lia and held her hand, trying to get her to take some of the pain relief
“not the fucking time katie” i said sternly back as lia looked up at me, my face softening when i saw her looking for reassurance in my eyes
“we will get through this together love” i said softly as i brushed some hair out of her face
“lia we are going to have to put you on a stretcher” the physio said as they started to move her onto the stretcher, wally wincing as they did
eventually they lifted her up on the stretcher and started to walk her to the tunnel, fans clapping for wally
aggie received a red card, as expected, and started to make her way to the tunnel- head down clearly still upset from it all
i patted her on the back as she passed me before the match continued, now having to fight the mental battle of wanting to go and see lia
————
i burst into the medical room where wally was, her eyes shooting up to mine and face softening once she saw it was me
“careful you’ll take the door of its hinges” she teased as i made my way over to her, eyes never leaving her ankle
“fuck wally” i muttered as she placed her hand under my chin and moved my eyes to hers
“i’ll be fine” she said softly as there was a knock on the door, both of us turning to the door
“hey, is it okay if i come in?” aggie asked as she popped her head into the room
“of course” wally smiled softly at her
“i just wanted to say sorry, i really never meant to hurt you” aggie apologised as she walked over
“i know you didn’t, i know you eager to prove yourself that’s all” lia reassured her softly
“that’s exactly what y/n said to me” aggie laughed slightly
“great minds thing alike” wally teased
“well i’ll leave you two alone, i just wanted to say sorry” aggie said while wally nodded with a soft smile
i walked aggie to the door, patting her on the shoulder and praising her for how mature she had been with the whole thing
i turned back around once she left and made my way back to wally, finding her hand with mine as we talked- trying to distract ourselves from her injury
“i’m proud of what you did today” wally said softly to me as i gave her a puzzled look
“instead of doing what the rest of the girls did, you looked after aggie and made sure she was okay before you came to me” wally said as she squeezed my hand gently
“i was once in her shoes, having done the exact same thing with the exact same reactions from the other players and it didn’t feel nice at all” i said shaking my head at the memory of when i was younger only just starting my professional career
we could only hope the hate aggie received online was going to be small…
—————————————
a/n: hope you all liked this, it was short but just wanted to get something out quickly!
#leah williamson x reader#alessia russo#alessia russo x reader#arsenal women#awfc#awfc imagine#awfc x reader#leah williamson#lia walti#lia walti x reader
84 notes
·
View notes
Note
Idk if ur reqs r open but can i request a scenario where dazai cheats on male!reader with chuuya after 3-4 months of dating?
Yes I need the angst practice let’s go
“Goodbye.”
Dazai Osamu x Male Reader
It had been 4 months exactly since you and Dazai had began dating. Along with this anniversary, it was also your boyfriend’s birthday.
You had planned to surprise him for his birthday, you had bought a gift, planned out a movie to watch, bought all of his favorite foods to eat as you watched it. You had the perfect plan.
Now, how did you begin to date the young man?
It was after a particularly tasking mission, you two had been known to have a romantic tension between you so most predicted it would happen eventually.
Dazai had gotten hurt which led to you protecting him and finishing off the enemy yourself.
Once they were taken care of, you went straight to the side of your colleague.
“Are you ok? How is the wound?” You asked, panicking inside as you saw the bloodied gash in his side.
He didn’t answer as he was too busy inhaling through his teeth to handle the pain.
You had to think fast, taking off your button down shirt as you began to lift up his own.
Tightly tying your shirt around his torso, you whispered small apologies as he groaned in pain.
He gripped tightly on you, grabbing your own hand in his as he squeezed it tightly, steadying his breathing.
You talked to him softly, guiding him through the pain as you made sure he wouldn’t bleed out.
You had already called back to the agency for medical help, now just sitting with Dazai trying to keep him comfortable and conscious.
He was pulled so tightly against you, he tried not to dig his nails into your bare shoulders.
You saw he was sweating at his forehead, so you brushed his hair to the side and held up his bangs.
He looked at you so softly, clearly still in pain but it’s almost like you could tell from his eyes that he appreciated your actions.
Then you two were looking for a little too long, both of your eyes subtly darting to one another’s lips.
Dazai weakly lifts his shaking hand to gently cup your face and bring it closer to his own.
He brought you merely centimeters apart from his lips, looking into your eyes one last time to be sure you were comfortable before closing the distance.
A lot of it is a blur but you both began dating after that.
He let you in to his life, and into a few parts of his past.
Of course you didn’t know everything, but you knew a bit.
You knew of his mafia background and a few of the people he met in that time.
You certainly knew of Nakahara Chuuya, who took a role in many many of his stories.
By no means were you jealous, Dazai was yours and you were secure in that.
However, you’d be a fool to say you didn’t notice how Dazai talked about his old friend, the light in his eyes, the small smile.
But nonetheless, you didn’t question it, who wouldn’t smile of fondness remembering the days with a cherished friend?
But back to the present-
In order to make your surprise work, you told your boyfriend you’d be busy but would join him later in the night.
So, when you unlocked his front door-
Opening it excitedly, a smile on your face-
Yelling out “Happy Birthday!”-
You were expecting to surprise your boyfriend.
Him alone.
But instead, you were met with the sight of Nakahara kissing your boyfriend on his couch.
Dazai pushing him off to save face for himself as he heard your voice, looking at you wide eyed and caught.
Silence fell on the room, the only thing to be heard was the sound of bags of food and his gift falling to the floor.
“What.. what are you doing..?” You ask absentmindedly, your eyes wide and your face frozen in shock.
“Y/N.. please I can explain this.” Dazai got up from the couch quickly, approaching you carefully.
Chuuya got up and stood in front of the brunette, “Y/N, it was all me-“
“Nakahara. Out. I’m going to talk to my boyfriend myself.” You seethed, Chuuya didn’t fight you on it, leaving as you asked.
“Y/N.. please-“ you cut him off, “What is going on..?”
“It meant nothing! He means nothing, ok? Let’s just talk this out.” He walked to you, reaching a hand out to your face.
That same hand.
The one he gripped yours in.
The one he cupped your face in.
The one he cupped Nakahara’s face in.
You gripped his wrist tightly, right before his fingers graced your face.
Before he could pull you in again.
Before he could make you forget it all with a kiss, which you were sure he could.
You shakily brought that hand away from your cheek.
Instead, you brought it to your lips-
And kissed that loving, caring, gentle, cheating, betraying hand-
“Goodbye.”
#male reader#top male reader#bsd#bungou stray dogs#bsd scenarios#bungou stray dogs scenarios#bsd x male reader#dom male reader#dazai osamu#sub bsd#sub dazai#bsd dazai#dazai osamu x male reader#x male reader#male reader blog
320 notes
·
View notes
Text
The Five Stages of Grief: Depression
A/N: Thank you to everyone for your patience in waiting for me to finish this chapter! Getting myself to write has felt like pulling teeth as of late. But we’re here! And we’re almost done!! Let’s get angsty…
Pairing: Sonny Carisi x female reader
Tags: you read the title, right?
Word count: 2,410
Previous parts: Prologue | Denial | Anger | Bargaining
Also posted on AO3.
You and your friend were lounging on the couch, devouring a carton of chocolate chip mint ice cream, while watching what felt like an endless Lord of the Rings marathon. “I don’t remember this being so long,” you mused as you licked chocolate bits off your fingers.
“That’s cuz it’s the extended edition,” she replied with her mouth full of ice cream. “It’s the only way to watch it. You want to feel like you’re walking to Mordor in real-time.”
You smirked and shook your head at her logic. This was nice. Getting lost in Middle Earth was a welcomed distraction from inner turmoil.
“Hey, I’ve been meaning to ask you something.” Your friend shifted herself on the couch to look at you. “When are we gonna get your stuff?”
You looked at her confused. “My stuff?”
“Yeah, from your apartment? You can stay as long as you like. Just wanna know if we need to rent a truck or something.”
“Um…” You hadn’t thought about what exactly your next steps were. If you and Sonny were over, that meant moving out of the apartment. It meant packing up the pieces of your old life, the one you’d built with Sonny, and moving on. And that was terrifying.
“Hey, hey, no pressure here!” She reassured you as she saw the panicked look on your face. “We don’t need to plan anything tonight. Let’s just watch the movie. I think Aragorn is gonna do something badass in a minute, anyway.”
It was late when you finished all the movies. Your friend went to bed, but you couldn’t sleep. The gravity of your situation was weighing heavily on your chest. It was truly over. You believed only a day ago that this was what you wanted.
This was what was best for you and Sonny.
You had thought you would both move on to better things—people better suited for each other. And Sonny probably would. But you realized that you didn’t want better.
You just wanted Sonny.
You missed him. A lot. Missed his laugh, his smile, the way his brows scrunched together when he was concentrating. You missed laying your head on his chest and listening to his heartbeat. And all those times Sonny was working until 3 in the morning or disappearing to help Amanda, you had missed him. And you never let him know. “It’s fine” was what you always said. But it wasn’t fine. You missed him, needed him, wanted him, and you never told him.
“What have I done?” You were curled up in a ball on the floor. Your cheeks felt cold from the tears streaming down them. There was no coming back from this. You walked out that night. You ignored him. You said some unforgivable things. You ruined everything.
Spiraling into a black hole of despair, you felt hopeless. You resigned yourself to the darkness, hoping it would engulf you. Your heart ached in your chest. What hurt more than knowing it was over, was thinking of how much pain you caused Sonny. Beyond leaving that night, you turned down every attempt he made to reconcile. He was trying. All you’d wanted for so long was for him to try, to choose you. And when he did? You practically slapped him in the face with it. He deserved better than that.
But what could you do? The damage was done. Sonny wasn’t going to reach out to you again. Not after what you said. He was done trying.
Perhaps now was your turn to start.
You could reach out to him. But what would you say? What do you even tell someone after you broke their heart? You grabbed your phone and started composing a text. Your hands shook as you typed and retyped the message. You weren’t going to get all your thoughts into one text. The right thing to do would be to tell him in person. Maybe he’d give you the grace you so rudely denied him.
Hi. I’d really like to talk to you if you’re willing to listen. But I’d understand if you aren’t. Would you meet me at Prospect Park on Saturday?
After several minutes of working up your nerve, you hit send and put your phone down. You waited anxiously, silently praying he would reply. The suspense was killing you. You imagined this was how Sonny felt when you ignored him, and that made you hate yourself even more.
You don’t know how long you sat in the dark when you heard your phone ping. You couldn’t breathe as you picked it up and saw a new message.
3pm work for you?
You let out your breath and immediately replied.
Yes, I’ll be there. Thank you.
He’d accepted your olive branch. Maybe there was still a chance for the two of you. Even if there wasn’t, at least you would be able to apologize face to face. He deserved that. Whatever the outcome of Saturday, you had the chance to make things right.
It was nearing 10 o’clock, and Sonny and Amanda were the last ones at the station. Once he finished writing this report, he could finally leave. But he’d been stuck rewriting his last paragraph at least a dozen times. He was distracted thinking about you. By some miracle of God, you reached out and said you wanted to meet. About what you didn’t mention, but you were ready to talk to him. That was more than he’d ever expected.
But he didn’t want to get his hopes up. Maybe you just wanted to coordinate moving out, transferring the lease, and such. There was still a big chance you were over forever, and it emotionally destroyed him. Coming to grips with losing the love of his life had been incredibly depressing. You’d been the glue keeping him from coming apart at the seams. The thought of going through his life without you in it was incredibly painful, but nonetheless, a truth he was facing. However, he couldn’t help the optimist in him from thinking there was the tiniest sliver of hope that things could all work out. But the ball was in your court now. He’d apologized and tried his best to fix things. It was up to you now on how you both moved forward.
Sonny heard Rollins sigh from her desk in relief. “That’s it, I’m calling it a night. And so should you.” She got up and put on her jacket. “You know, I could use some help painting my apartment. It might cheer you up. I’ll even splurge and order wings with the pizza.”
“Sorry, not this weekend,” he replied, still staring at his laptop, trying to get his thoughts into his report so he could be done for the day, too.
She was surprised by his answer. He was never one to turn her down. “Really? You got something funner to do than manual labor and eating mediocre food with your friend?” She remarked sarcastically.
“No, um…I’m going to talk with my girlfriend on Saturday.”
She looked at him perplexed. “What’s there to talk about? I think she was loud and clear on what she thought of you.”
“She reached out to me, Rollins. I just want to hear her out.”
“Seriously? What could she possibly have to say for herself? Have some self-respect.”
Sonny shook his head and went back to typing. He wasn’t in the mood to bicker. He’d had enough arguing to last him a lifetime.
Undeterred, Rollins walked towards his desk and leaned down to look at him at eye level. “Listen, dating a detective…it’s not for everyone. It means missed birthdays and canceled dates. A lot is expected of us, and we sometimes miss out on things. She’s shown you she can’t cut it.”
“Well, maybe I can’t either.” Sonny sat back in his chair and slapped his thighs. He’d been having doubts about his career for a while. The pressure and horrors he faced were starting to get to him. He wasn’t sure if he had it in him to continue this path.
“What do you mean? Of course you can. You do it every day.” She was taken aback by his comment. She hadn’t noticed how disillusioned he’d become in the past several months.
“I don’t wanna be like those old timers who wind up bitter and alone. There’s gotta be more to life than…this.”
“Come on, you don’t mean that.” She came up to him and patted his shoulder. “This is our lives. It’s what we do. And you’re not gonna be alone, we’re partners.”
“You’re telling me you’ve never thought about calling it quits?” She huffed at his ridiculous question. “No, really. Day in and day out, dealing with the worst of the worst, you’ve never wanted a change?”
“You’re a cop, Carisi. It’s in your blood. What else would you be doing?”
“Oh, I don’t know, I could…” He took a second to ponder the possibilities. “I could be a consultant and sit on my ass all day getting fat and rich. Or become one of those hipster photographers who drives around the country taking pictures and living in a van. Hell, I could move to the DA’s office! Now that would be a change.” Sonny laughed at the thought. He’d played around with the idea of using his law degree, but never seriously given it any weight. Maybe this was his sign to start.
“Wait a sec…” She analyzed his face trying to decipher if he was genuinely considering this. “You can’t be serious.”
“Well, maybe. My law degree’s been gathering dust. Might be nice to get some use out of it. You know, a fresh start.”
Rollins’ demeanor changed. Her body tensed and her face became serious. “So, you would just throw away everything you’ve worked for? And for what? To make your girlfriend feel better about herself?” Her speech sped up as she tried to get all her thoughts out.
“Hey, leave her out of this.” He said defensively but calmly. “If I decide to go, it would be for me.”
“That’s not you, Carisi. The stuffy lawyers, the politics? You’d hate it there!”
“I haven’t even done anything! What are you getting so upset about?” Sonny couldn’t gauge what was getting her so upset. “I’m just talking about trying to make a better life for myself. Thought you’d want that for me.”
She looked at him like he had three heads. Her cheeks flushed red, and her jaw clenched tightly. “Be happy about you leaving? How stupid are you?”
Sonny stared at her in disbelief. He was completely perplexed on how this conversation turned from confiding in his friend to having his character bashed.
“And what about all of us here?” She gestured to the empty desks of the detectives who’d already gone home. “You would just—you’d pack up your stuff and ditch us? You said you were my partner, and you—you’re gonna walk out on me?” Rollins was becoming irate, stumbling over her words.
“You’re acting like I’m moving to the other side of the world!” He was at the end of his tether. His whole life, he’d been living for others. The never-ending pressure of having to be everything for everyone was too high. He couldn’t seem to do right by anybody. So why did he even try? “There’ll be other detectives. You’d be just fine.”
“No, I need you, Sonny! I need you here beside me!”
The room went deathly silent. It was finally clear to Sonny what she’d been trying to say. After all this time, this was how she really felt?
“When did that change, Amanda?” He asked, his voice no louder than a whisper. Hazy memories of a trip to West Virginia and long forgotten heartache were returning to him.
“Don’t tell me you never felt anything between us.” She stared down at her shoes, unable to look him in the eye just yet.
“Not since you made it clear there wasn’t.”
“I was…not in a good place back then,” she tried to explain. She finally looked up to meet his gaze, needing him to understand her reasoning in her eyes. “I knew you were looking for something serious and committed, and I wasn’t ready for that.”
“So you thought you could string me along until you were?” Sonny shot up from his chair and crossed his arms. He could hardly believe the words coming out of her mouth. His whole world felt turned upside down. He thought she was his friend who cared about him. He wasn’t sure what he believed anymore.
“Oh, please, you weren’t strung along,” she scoffed at his suggestion. “You’re telling me you weren’t happy to help me out? Hang out with my kids? I never asked you to do any of that—”
“No, you just expected it,” he snapped back. The voices of you and Bella echoed in his ears. “I wanted to help you, Amanda, to try to make your life a little easier. I did those things because I thought—”
“Anyone could see you were way more invested in your relationship with me than with your own girlfriend,” she sharply pointed out, her words cutting deeply into his heart. “We’re practically a family already, Carisi.”
Sonny stood there defeated. How could he have not seen all this? “You were my best friend…” he said breathlessly. Any fight left in him had evaporated. “Guess I was mistaken.” He closed his laptop and started collecting his things.
“Sonny, if you would just hear me out—”
“No, I’ve heard enough of this.” He put on his coat and made his way out. “It’s late, I’m going home.”
“Would you stop?!” She exclaimed in frustration, trying to get his attention. “You’re gonna give up your career, your life, for some girl who doesn’t even appreciate you? I would never make you do that, Sonny—”
But he was already walking out the door. He felt empty inside. He had already lost his love, and now this betrayal from someone he had once called his best friend was more than he could handle. All that he’d done for Amanda was still somehow not enough. He needed to start thinking about himself. He wasn’t sure of what his future would look like, whether you would be in it or not. Bella was right.
He’d have to hope for brighter days ahead.
#oh god she writes now#sonny carisi#sonny carisi x reader#sonny carisi x you#sonny carisi imagine#dominick carisi#law and order special victims unit#law and order svu#svu#masterlist#anti rollisi
46 notes
·
View notes
Text
NR - She's Gone
Summary: Soulmate AU - Reader and Nat are soulmates where they feel each other's injuries. When Nat sacrifices herself, Reader doesn't know what is going on.
Pairings: Natasha Romanoff and Reader
Warnings: Angst, Nat Death, The Blip, Panic Attack, Injuries
Notes:
I also have accounts on Wattpad and AO3! The users there are @ paige_vers
Please give me requests! You can submit them here or on my insta, @ scarlettsoutset
ᨖᨖೱᨖ⧗ᨖⴵᨖ🕷️ᨖⴵᨖ⧗ᨖೱᨖᨖ
Y/n POV
I knew they were out there somewhere, but I just couldn't wait to meet them. My one and only. My other half. My soulmate. All my friends had found their soulmate, but I had yet to find mine. The way people found their soulmate was by receiving the same injuries as them, but to a lesser extent. And for some reason, I always got hurt. Well, my soulmate was, and I was just feeling part of it. I didn't hate them for it, but sometimes I wished I got hurt more just to give them something back.
I remember this one time when I was about 17, I got this pain in my lower abdomen that felt like the worst cramps I had ever gotten. It felt more like my uterus was being ripped out of you. It was terrible, and I even had to take school off that day. Ever since then, my period has been irregular. I wondered what happened to my soulmate, and what they went through to make me feel that pain.
But now, I am also in a lot of pain. My whole body ached, and I had cuts and bruises everywhere. This happened often, so it wasn't anything new to me. 'Who is my soulmate? What do they do for a living?' I asked myself. I wondered if they were a stunt person, or some sort of fighter. Whatever they were, I just wanted to meet them and ask them why they were always getting hurt.
Natasha POV
The team and I were just climbing back on the Quinjet after fighting some aliens. I felt so bad for my soulmate. Whoever they were, they always had to endure so much from me, when I hardly ever felt anything from them. Occasionally I would get a pepper cut, or a random bruise here or there, but that was it. It was nothing compared to the pain I gave them.
I decided just to rest on the way back to the compound and to try not to worry about my soulmate. Once we get back to the compound, I just go clean up myself, and go rest. As I clean up my wounds, I flinch at the sharp pain from pouring on the hydrogen peroxide. I bandaged myself up, and put on ointment to the bruises. I can only hope that my soulmate does the same with their wounds. They must wonder where it all comes from, this only makes me feel more guilty. I lay down on my bed, just overthinking about how guilty I feel, and how my soulmate must hate me. Before I know it, I am too tired and end up falling asleep, forgetting about my worries.
TIME SKIP TO A FEW YEARS LATER
I'm going on a walk in the park with Wanda, Carol, and Maria. Maria and Carol have already found their soulmates, but Wanda and I have yet to find ours. As we walk in the park, I see this cute girl, and part of me feels some sort of connection towards her. 'Should I go talk to her?' I think. But as I'm looking at her, I trip on the sidewalk, skinning my knee. I hear an "Owww" from the woman and see her clutching her knee. Still on the ground, my face lights up as I think that I have finally found my soulmate. But before I can do anything about it, Wanda and Maria help me up and keep on walking. I look back at the girl, still holding her knee, and look back at my friends, a good 30 feet in front of me.
I turn towards the girl, about to walk towards her, but Wanda calls out my name, urging me to catch up to them. Carol backs her up and runs towards me, grabbing my hand pulling me towards everyone else.
I realize that my chance is gone, and that I'll probably never see my soulmate again. I glance back at her, only to realize that she is gone. I keep on walking forward, trying to forget the fact that my life could've just been very different.
TIME SKIP TO A FEW YEARS LATER (POST BLIP)
Y/N POV
It has now been 5 years since all my friends have left, thanks to the blip. I have been able to get back on my feet but still haven't fully recovered. I found a new job, a new dog and cat, and found a couple new friends. I miss my old friends dearly, but I know that they won't come back. A few of their soulmates are still left behind, and I feel bad for them, because they had finally found their other half and were finally happy. Then there was me, who had never found mine, so I was never truly happy. But I knew that they were still out there, because I could still feel them. Which means that they could still feel me. This was something that brought me hope. Hope that I might still find them.
I went to work one day, as usual, and started my day there. It was boring, long, monotonous, work, but it paid the bills. Then suddenly, I felt something that I've never felt before. It was a pain that I've never had like anything else. Everything in my body hurts, especially my back. I felt empty, lost, a new kind of pain. I could tell that it was from my soulmate, but this time it was mental and emotional too, not just physical. I feel like I was at my lowest point, worse than when the blip happened. I'm not sure what had happened to my soulmate, but I sure felt bad for them.
I had read about the feeling people have when their soulmate dies, and I start to wonder if it is something like this. I sure hope that wasn't what happened. Oh God please no, that can't happen. I would do anything for that to not happen.
TIME SKIP TO LATER THAT DAY
I was home, in the apartment that I used to share with a couple of roommates before they blipped. I was watching SNL, when suddenly a few celebrities appeared in the scene, ones who had previously blipped. I didn't know if it was just CGI or what, but everyone else seemed confused. That's when it happened to me. My old roommate, Katie appeared on the couch next to me. I screamed a little, and started to panic. Then Zoe walked out of the room that used to be hers and walked into the living room where I was. I had no idea what was going on, and I really was panicking.
I just ran to my room, and could feel the panic attack come on. My breath started to get shallower, and my head started to feel like it was spinning. My heart rate was getting faster, and I just bent over, sitting on my bed. I could hear my old roommates talking in the living room, and this only made everything worse.
As the panic attack passed, I decided that I'll have to confront my problems sooner than later, and so I left my room to go talk to them. I saw them sitting on the couch watching the news, trying to figure out what was going on.
I take a seat on the couch, at the side furthest away from them, and we just sit there in silence, watching the news that interrupted my show. It was hectic, but the message that they were able to get across was "the Avengers were able to bring back everyone who blipped. But at a cost. Both Tony Stark and Natasha Romanoff died. Tony Stark died right before everyone was brought back, and Natasha Romanoff died at some point earlier in the day. The world has been saved."
I feel a tear slide down my cheek, not out of joy, but out of sadness. I realize that that is what I felt earlier that day. I felt my soulmate, Natasha Romanoff, dying. I had no idea that it was her, and I realize now that that's why I was always getting hurt. My soulmate was an avenger. One of earth's mightiest heroes. And now she's gone. I'll never have a chance to meet her, to be with her. I feel this pang of sadness and guilt in my chest, realizing that I'll forever be lonely. I didn't even realize it, but I'm full on sobbing now. I don't realize it until it gets pointed out to me by Zoe, when she asks me if I'm alright.
"My soulmate- she's gone." I say between sobs.
"What do you mean? Everyone's back." Katie replies.
"She died today. I felt it. Natasha Romanoff, the Avenger, on the news, remember. I was her soulmate."
"oh y/n, I'm so sorry. I know how much you always wanted to meet your soulmate. I can't even imagine how hard this must be for you right now." Zoe says. She comes over to me and gives me a hug. I just cried into her.
"I did. It's all I wanted in life. And now she's gone."
#fanfic#fem reader#natasha x you#marvel au#marvel fanfiction#marvel tv#x reader#black widow x reader#natasha romanoff x reader#natasha x reader#natasha romanoff x you#natalia romanova#natasha romanoff#natasha romanoff x fem!reader#natasha romanoff x female#natasha romanov#natasha x y/n#black widow x y/n#scarlett johansson x y/n#scarlett johansson#scarlett johansson imagine#scarlett johansson x reader
73 notes
·
View notes
Text
The Tide Always Goes Out
Conrad Fisher x fem!reader
ANGST
Summery: You were sick. You had always been sick. But you looked so healthy, so it couldn’t be true. Conrad could live in denial of his best friend’s inevitable death but there was nothing he could do to stop it and he has to accept it.(Inspired by the book Little Women specifically the scene in the 2019 film between Beth and Jo.) Mentions of illness and death.
We sat on the beach squished on a small blanket. wrinkles from our shifting and creases beneath us from where we sit. We talk about everything and anything all morning. Not minding the grey overcast of the clouds covering the usually very blue sky. Or how the waves are more violent than they usually are. I know this because I remember it vividly. It wasn’t that long ago I was really there. Making sure it would last forever. Only now I wish I hadn’t because it haunts me more than it comforts me. And the entire way it played out still makes my heart ache with regret.
Somehow I end up with her lying over me. She lays her head in my lap, the thin blanket woven together with faint reds and oranges creating a little hammock for her to rest on. I can feel the way her heartbeats erratically over my thigh. The way her lip’s curl into a soft smile. The ocean reflected in her eyes. If it weren’t for the heavy eye bags and the slight tremble in her bones, she’d be normal. A normal girl with no issues. You wouldn’t even know how deeply her suffering ran. Sometimes, on the better days, I let myself become fooled as well. Playing dumb hurts less than facing the truth.
“Con.” Her eyes flick up to mine, and I can’t help the way my own avert her gaze. I am too afraid to face her. Even now. The girl who I worship day and night. I never did pray before her, but now I pray that when I wake up, she’ll still be beside me. And we can enjoy the company the other has to offer just one last time. I can’t look down and see how much she’s changed. It scares me, because the traces of the illness torturing her is evidence to how real it is. And I would rather live in oblivious bliss.
“I want you to know I’m not really scared anymore.” It’s not what I expected to come from her lips, but it’s what she lands on. Theres no room in her wording for me to deny what she’s trying to say. My eyes flick down to hers, and my hands moves the hair blowing in the wind messily across her face.
“Y/n, come on. Don’t say shit like that.” I smile, but I don’t really mean in. I don’t find her words funny, and I don’t like that my best friend is sick.
“No, Conrad. I’m serious.” She breathes out, hands pressing against my skin to lift herself up. I feel a chill run through my body without her warmth to ease the morning chill. More than that, I can feel the coolness in my heart when she separates from me, and I long for the next moment I’ll feel her gentle touch.
“I’ve had a lot of time to think about this and I’m certain that I’ll be okay.” I continue to look at her, but only this time, she is the one looking at the sand, tracing her fingers in it as they stretch past her ankles to the floor.
“And I’m only so sure because I know you’ll be there.” Her eyes flicker up to the sky and I swear I see the sky brighten for just a moment. The blue underneath all the grey breaking free for a split second. “I’ve known you my whole life, and I’ve felt things for you that I have felt with no one else. I know you, and I trust that you’ll come find me in the next life.” Pulling at her lip, she waits for a response.
“But I want to keep you in this one.” My hand finds hers and all I can do is squeeze onto her desperately. Wanting nothing more but to keep her close. So I can watch her. Make sure shes okay. She’s lost all of her fight, her will to stay. And I know it’s because of the pain. I’ve heard her sobs just down the halls and the hushed whispers of my mother and her’s. But part of me wonders if it’s simply because I did not do enough. If I wasn’t enough reason for her to stay.
“It’s like the tide going out. It goes out slowly, but it can’t be stopped.” And we both know it. Theres no stopping what will happen to her. Theres no wish or medicine or fight that could keep her here beside me. It makes me want to cry, but I don’t. It would be selfish of me to get so upset when I am still here. Well and alive. Promised many years to age and achieve things she never was given the chance to.
“I’ll stop it.” I don’t look down at her, but I can feel how she shifts. The way her frown only deepens and the bags in her eyes get heavier. She sighs heavily into the silence, shaking her head slowly. She refuses to cry though. Partly because I know she knows she’ll have plenty of time to cry in the darkness of her room, when the ache in her bones is too much and theres no way of stopping it. And the other part of me recognizes that it’s because there’s no reason to in her eyes.
Y/n knew it better than all of us. She had lived a good life. She could do things and want things some children could never even dream of. She had a warm home with a glowing fireplace that her family often gathered around. A loving sister and a great brother. Her mother and father were healthy and she had the best friends she could have ever asked for. Her only regret is that she had to make her own mother pick out the details for her headstone.
When I pull her into my body, I have no idea it will be for the last time. I have no clue that her sobs won’t part from her lips. Because when she closes her eyes, she doesn’t drift into her usual place of rest. Her eyes don’t flutter open at the soft creak of the stairs when Jeremiah decides he wants a late night snack. Nor does she stir when Steven laughs, following behind him not as skillfully.
Not even when her mother screams early in the morning, hands clinging to her limp wrists, cold and lifeless. The tears from my mother mixing with her younger sisters don’t even make her flinch. And it’s chilling because it almost looks like she was smiling. The lift of her lips is barely there, but it makes me feel better knowing she went in peace.
I remember that day more clearly than ever. How the grey sky haunts me and the way she spoke so surely about her death still sends chills through my veins. I could have only wished to have looked at her a little closer that day. So that even in her darkest moments, I could be as certain as she was that the image of her would never fade, and I would always be able to memorize each wrinkle in her skin.
So I tell myself that when it’s my time, I’ll do what she said I would. I’ll find her in the next life. And I’ll look a little harder at her, and I’ll admire her for longer.
#tsitp conrad#conrad x reader#conrad fisher angst#conrad fisher#little women#conrad fisher x you#conrad x you#conrad fisher x y/n#conrad fisher x reader#conrad#team conrad
147 notes
·
View notes
Text
Break my Walls P.6
Genre: A/B/O, Poly BTS and Reader
Warnings: angst, omegaspace, eventual smut, slow burn, angst, fluff, polyamorous relationship, sexual themes, implied sexual interactions, name calling, abandonment.
If you’re not 18+ please, do not interact.
As always, my works do not represent BTS in any way, this is purely a work of fiction.
Part 5
Y/N's POV
Waking up in Jimin's nest was strange, the scents surrounding me made my head fuzzy. I don't remember falling asleep, the last memory I have was of Jimin having me close my eyes to fully scent me. I guess having the weight of Jimin, the wonderful scents, and the soft nest lulled me into a deep sleep. I look around the nest, seeing that I am alone. My chest hurts when I realize, baffling me. I need to find a clock to see the time, I can't be stuck in this room all day. I stand slowly, and leave the nest carefully so I don't mess anything up. When I leave the room, everything in the pack house is quiet. I walk down the stairs to the kitchen, entering the room and seeing the omegas preparing dinner. Every omega turns to me, startled I begin to try and explain myself, only to be cut off by the Packs Beta.
"Omega, I need you to get dressed in your outside clothes to help me grab groceries for the dinner tonight. We weren't expecting as many guests tonight as we have" He barked, sending me on my way.
Once I am fully dressed I go back down to the kitchen and see the beta standing there with two other alpha's. He hands me a list and complains about needing to drive to the next town over just for their butcher, how it's cheaper there. When the car comes to a stop, the streets are empty and it is getting dark.
"I thought we needed groceries for dinner?" I ask the beta.
"You stupid girl, did you really think the Kim pack cared about you?" The alpha started, my heart begins to plummet. Cold sweats break out across my body, they knew what I had done, the Kim pack lied.
"We enlisted the help of the pack to test if you were really a good omega, see if you deserved to stay in our pack. Unfortunately, you failed, you foolish girl. So, this is where we leave you. You don't have a pack, you don't have a home, you have nothing. Where's your pseudo pack now, the ones who let you play house, the ones who used you. Nowhere. Just like you. Didn't even say goodbye, did they? Poor omega." My vision becomes blurry, my world crumbling as the alphas pull me from the car and throw me to the ground. I curl into a ball as they drive off, willing this to all be a nightmare I will wake from.
I don't know how long I sat there, all I know was it was freezing and I could see my breath. I hear footsteps approaching, I tense, expecting the worst. Suddenly, I feel a fabric placed around my shoulders, two pairs of legs coming in front of me. One of them crouching down, a female.
"Are you lost? Where is your pack, omega?" She spoke softly, keeping her distance.
"N-n-no pack" I stuttered, from the cold and the pain of being shunned from my pack.
"Then, would you like to come with us? We have a fire on and dinner started, I am sure you can find something to help with while you stay" the male voice spoke gently. I nod, anything to get out of the weather.
That was 3 years ago, since then I have become a permanent resident in the tiny town I was dropped off in. The Moon Pack accepted that I didn't want to become a member of their pack and allowed me to stay at a house close to their pack house. I work in their kitchen and get paid for it, which took a lot of explaining on why it was important. I've learned everything about pack life, omegas, alphas, and even betas. The Moon Pack has shown me what it means to be an omega and how wrong my pack was.
"Y/N! We are hosting the Lunar Ceremony this year!" Chan said, running in with excitement. The Lunar Ceremony is a way for packs to mingle and meet potential packs. I haven't ever gone to one, pretty content with being a lone wolf.
"Why, where?" I question, continuing to prep the desserts for after dinner, my favorite thing to do.
"In the woods, the clearing by the water. We offered to this year, so we can help our young members find a pack." He replied, stealing some of the fruit filling for the pies.
"Hey!" I swat at his hand, "Well just let me know when it is so I can lock my doors" I say.
"Why don't you want a pack? Not all of them are like them, you know. I have the list of the ones invited, none of them believe in the archaic ways like them. We personally know all of them, if it helps" He spoke.
"I'll think about it, after cooking for it, I doubt I will have the energy." The ceremony hits on the first Full Moon of winter. It's full of dancing, mingling, good food, and courting.
"That's this weekend!" I realize, looking at the calendar, "Why are we just finding out?"
"Well, the Pack Alpha and Omega have known for a little while, the rest of us have just found out in the meeting" He responded, helping me put the pies in the oven. "Plus, haven't you seen all of the meals being prepped in advance the past three weeks? That what it's for, you've even made desserts in advance!"
"I thought that was for the ruts coming up, your pack has a high influx of them as of recently. You know with all of the mates being found" I explain.
"Well, you have a lot more to make, so good luck" He yells over his shoulder as he leaves the kitchen.
I let out a deep breath, preparing myself for the work I now know is coming. Finishing cleaning the kitchen, I double check the timer on my phone and set out to find the Pack Omega. I might as well get started now.
Setting down the last of the food in the clearing, I wave goodbye to the Pack Omega and head back towards my house. The ceremony starts in just a few hours and I want to be inside when the packs start to arrive. I nod at the pack members I pass on my way back, noting the unmated and packless members wear white. I see Chan entering the woods, wearing white.
"Hoping to find your pack this year?" I question
"Going to hide?" He responds, receiving a glare from me.
"Why can't you come for just an hour, meet some people? Alpha Jisoo said you can claim to be mated and in her pack, just come and experience it." He begged.
"I don't own any red, sorry" I lie, avoiding his eyes.
“You’re in luck because I have an extra gown that’s just your size” Alpha Jisoo says, coming into the woods behind Chan.
“I’ll think about it” I say, continuing back to my house.
“I left it on your porch!” Alpha Jisoo yelled.
“Of course” I muttered, thinking of all the things that could go wrong if I decided to go tonight.
Taglist open
@braveangel777
#bts ot7#jung hoseok#jeon jungkook#kim namjoon#kim taehyung#kim seokjin#min yoongi#park jimin#bts#a/b/o dynamics
95 notes
·
View notes
Text
i was hoping to stream this afternoon but i woke with my shoulders hurting so bad that i have absolutely zero capacity for anything. to the point where i experienced my first autistic rumbles in the supermarket 🥸 but i have adhd meds now so maybe we can try tomorrow.
zita's suspected i'm on the spectrum for a little while now, but i've always been on the fence about it. there's a lot i don't relate to. but most of that is bc i have so much learned behaviour, and i mask really well. when i try to break down how i think for autism diagnostic quizzes, my gut reactions DO fit the bill, but they are so so so buried under 30 years of life experience that feels like it comes naturally.
but i am an introvert. an extreme introvert. even while living alone with my best friend, who i get on perfectly with and feel zero need to mask around, i still need to excuse myself and be left alone in my room from 10pm at LEAST.
so i only really unmask when i'm dead alone. even though i dont feel like i'm putting up any kind of front around of zita, i still do, automatically. the only time i see myself completely bare is when i'm alone and it's silent and there is absolutely nothing challenging my comfort.
sooooo hoooooo boy waking up in pain, with zero capacity to even finish a thought, still empty of ADHD medication because of the fuckin manufacturing shortage (thankfully today's trip into town was to finally pick some up! but that wasn't until noon), i got to see a side of myself i don't know if i've ever actually seen before? maybe as a kid but i can't remember specifically that far back?
i've been short tempered and overwhelmed and exposed to sensory nightmares whilst home alone before, but it's usually so quick bc i'm at HOME and i can adjust the situation and i never think much of it. i felt like a bluescreen at that supermarket today, popping in for less than 10 things across 3 aisles.
it was so busy. there were so many people. i felt dread just to walk through it, so aware of my own body and the space i had to inhabit. but par for the course so far. what was less par for the course was having to stop and look at my list every 3 steps, unable to put together a course of action in my head: chicken is on the far left, so we grab that first and get broccoli on our way to the soup aisle. but the broccoli is right there. do i grab that first, go get the chicken, but then double back from where i just came? i might get myself some bananas too, how do i fit that into my path—
i had to keep stopping and looking at my list because every item i thought of made me forget the previous one i just looked at. eventually got fed up with myself and went to the closest thing and started there, regardless of whether i'd have to double back or not. that's what trips me when i take these quizzes n shit. i can get over the hump and do the task in the end, so that must mean i'm totally allistic! no autism here.
i remember thinking "jesus christ this is bad" when i was on my way to get zita's soup (if you've read this far, thank you and kisses to you, pls send some loving vibes to zita by reading her fic i just reblogged, bc she's got a cold and is miserable today) so i was kinda aware i was having a bad sensory day. as expected: there were a lot of people there, and i was in pain. but i just short circuited looking at soup. zita gave me the brand name and soup type of 3 cans she wanted. and i went to the aisle i've been to a thousand times, found the brand, and just stared. it was all stew. all chunky brothy things with bits in. not a single creamy soup in sight, so, the soup must be somewhere else.
i came to that conclusion immediately but i couldn't. process it? or like, what to do with that information. the soup is somewhere else. OR IS IT? keep looking at this shelf to make sure, your eyes are tired, you might've missed it. there's like 20 different cans of campbells here, just keep reading them left to right until soup appears. still no soup? read them again, you might've missed it. maybe campbell's is out of soup? read every other brand here until you Don't see soup, then you can walk away and try somewhere else. but if you don't see any soup, read it again because you might've missed it.
thankfully it took all of 30 fuckin seconds for a store employee who was shelving next to me to see my glazed fuckin stare and ask if i needed a hand with anything. and i stammered through some "haha my silly eyes today!! haha thanks! sorry, thank you!" as she happily pointed like 3 metres down the aisle for me, while my internal monologue immediately raged like "wtf why would they put the soup that far away but also barely far away at all, what's the point, bad design 😡"
got soup. check list: packet of gravy. zita told me the gravy was in the same section as the soup. it was not. i walked up and down that aisle five times and there was no gravy. i just. i had completely forgotten how to problem solve. it was the strangest, most frustrating experience. like i was looking at an empty word document in my brain, with a little flashing cursor and everything, so i knew it hadn't frozen over. it was just empty.
i even had the thought "just walk up and down the aisles until you find gravy; you have to do this all the time" and even had ideas of which aisles to start with. but my brain said no. we're not going to walk around aimlessly, even if we have a neat little structure and path to follow. we were told (by myself, too) this would be a quick in out trip, pluck the known items off the shelf and beeline straight for the checkout. so meandering down aisles was for some reason non negotiable. i wasn't in a rush. i had nothing to do today. i barely even felt a rush to get out of there, as busy as it was. it just wasn't an option.
so rather than start solving that problem i just jumped to the next thing on the list. strepsils. text to ask what kind she wants, have a whine about my broken brain, ask if she knows where the gravy is. remember when i pass the hair brushes that i broke my hairbrush this morning and need a new one!! oh and i've been wanting new hairclips too. look at me picking a new hairbrush and poking through the hairclips for one that i know will feel comfortable against my scalp, i'm not autistic because i can change my plans and make decisions on the fly.
oops didn't mean for this post to be an entire play by play of my thoughts through this extremely bland grocery shop. i cannot believe how long i stood there choosing soup. the line at the self checkout was so long and i felt the dread kick up again. barely/silently whispered "oh god" to myself when i realised the line, but repeated it about 20 times to feel the tap of my tongue against the roof of my mouth before i realised i was doing it. stop that, don't mutter to yourself. but i'm standing still in a line and there's nothing left to (ineffectually) problem solve, so the second i stop i notice a weird little slice in the plastic around the trolley handle that i can't stop flicking my thumbnail against.
OK. we need to stim. heard, chef. just click your piercing ffs. your mouth might look weird when you do it but at least everyone can see you're just clicking your teeth against your piercing, rather than talking to yourself or damaging public property.
something made a noise, can't even remember if it was a child or a trolley or what, some loud sharp single high pitched screech a few metres away, and i jolted so hard i thought i felt like i was going to throw up. finally think, fucking hell i'm autistic today. my back hurts. which is making my head hurt. i want to go home and take my vyvanse.
#ghost scribbles#autism#extremely long unimportant recount of my day#but it was quite cathartic to write#feeling very vulnerable and tired now ufgh
80 notes
·
View notes
Text
where I've been
hello friends! it's me!
I know my presence has been really hit or miss over the past year and change. if you want the short version, life has just been really tough, but I'm at the point where I really want to feel like life feels more normal again, which includes writing and posting and being more active.
if you'd like the deluxe edition of what's been going on, I do feel like I want to share what's been happening. it's been really rough and the next steps are only going to be more difficult, so knowing I have friends rooting for me will really help.
you don't have to read if you don't want to, it's kind of a bummer! the biggest takeaway is that I've been going through a garbage time but I want to start writing regularly again, so hopefully you'll see a lot more of me moving forward.
everything else below the cut!
tw: pregnancy, pregnancy loss
okay so. y'all know I got married in December 2022 (and we are still very happily married!!). we've known from the getgo that we want a family, but hadn't quite pulled the trigger.
well, there was another situation that happened that made me realize that I really wanted to start trying now, but it also unlocked a really deep trauma. when I was 23 I was in a really horrible relationship, and I got pregnant. and I ended up miscarrying pretty early on. and I got zero support. that's the short version.
I ended up, I guess for my own sanity, blocking it out. there's big gaps in my memory that just. don't exist. and for a long time I told myself it didn't happen. later, when I acknowledged that it did happen, I told myself that it was for the best, that I would have been a bad mother at that point in my life, that I would have had to maintain contact with my ex, that it just wasn't the right time and it was a good thing that I lost my baby.
the problem was I never grieved. I never healed. it was all just locked away and festering and killing me slowly.
so I ended up spending a good part of last year grieving and trying to deal with pain that I should have dealt with years ago. which...let me tell you, it's a rough process.
and at the same time, I realized that I wanted to start trying. my whole life I've wanted to be a mom. I've wanted five kids for as long as I can remember. Every time I pictured the future I pictured children. And I didn't want to wait anymore. which...is extra complicated to start that process when you're also in the midst of unpacking trauma.
and as you might have guessed...I'm not pregnant yet.
I'm very lucky that my work has a great medical program and they don't have waiting periods to see fertility specialists, so I started seeing doctors last April. And there's nothing wrong. I've done bloodwork, I've done ultrasounds, I've done so many tests, Shane has been tested. We've done three medicated cycles with trigger shots. They can't find anything wrong. They keep shrugging and saying that it's just the matter of the right time.
Unexplained infertility is a bitch.
It's so painful. It's so unfair. And because of my job I'm constantly doing orders for pregnancy announcements and gender reveals and baby's first Christmas. I cannot tell you how many times I've run to the bathroom to cry because I just can't handle being surrounded by reminders that I'm not anybody's mother yet.
I'm currently on cycle 17 of trying. which. that on its own hurts so much. s e v e n t e e n.
we have to hold off on starting the next steps because Shane lost his job (which is another absolutely insane stressor) but he's in a new job that he loves and pays better, and I'm getting a referral for a new clinic for a second opinion. but it looks like we're going to move forward with IVF.
I'm very very lucky that my work will pay for a significant amount towards IVF, but there's still payments we have to make, so we're working on getting our ducks in a row. and it's a terrifying prospect. medications and egg retrieval (my first surgery ever) and transfers. and the crippling fear that they won't get enough eggs or none of them will fertilize or the transfer won't be successful. it's eating me away. I've been feeling like such a shell of myself, every failed cycle feels like another piece of me has faded away.
right now I'm trying to focus on getting myself in as healthy as a place as possible, emotionally and physically, before we start procedures. am I still hoping that I'll get pregnant without IVF? oh, desperately. but at this point, nearly a year and a half into trying, this is probably going to be our best bet.
so moving forward, I'm hoping I can start doing things that make me happy again. I've spent most of the past year and a half being incredibly depressed and not really doing anything other than laying around in bed. I did discover Lockwood & Co thanks to Maeve, and that's helped so much because it gave me something new to think about and fixate on (and write for), but it's still been rough and sporadic. which, actually, is a good describer of how the past year has gone. I need to get back into living again.
in the meantime thank you for everybody who's checked in on me, especially QuiddoDitto. I haven't really had the energy to message back, but I've seen the comments and messages and it's meant so much to me while I slog through this.
hopefully things will get better soon! hopefully I start feeling like a person again! hopefully I'll be writing and posting regularly because I miss it!
and hopefully there'll be a baby in my arms soon.
42 notes
·
View notes
Text
From The Start | Reed Richards
Y/N watched Reed from behind the coffee shop counter. His laughter was like music to her ears, and his smile could light up the darkest of days. She knew that her feelings for him were a secret she had to keep. Reed was oblivious to her affection, happily dating a girl named Susan Storm.
Whenever they were alone, Y/N would find herself tongue-tied, unable to form coherent sentences. Her heart would race, and her mind would go blank. She tried to hide her feelings, but it was a constant battle.
One evening, as they sat together at a small table, Reed started talking about Susan. "She's so perfect," he said, a dreamy look in his eyes. "We're so compatible."
Y/N forced a smile. "That's great, Reed." Inside, she felt a pang of pain.
"You know, I've been thinking about proposing to her," Reed continued. "I think she might say yes."
Y/N's heart sank. She knew this was coming, but it still hurt. She had to say something, even if it meant risking their friendship.
"Reed," she began, her voice barely a whisper. "I... I have something to tell you."
Reed looked up, his expression expectant. Y/N took a deep breath. "I... I've loved you from the start."
The silence that followed was deafening. Reed’s eyes widened in surprise. "Y/N, what are you talking about?”
"I’ve always loved you, ever since we met I haven’t been able to shake my feelings for you," Y/N replied, her voice trembling. "I thought it was better to keep it to myself."
"I'm sorry,,, but you must know I don’t feel the same right?" Reed said, his tone filled with regret. "I never meant to hurt you." His hand reached out to hers.
Y/N shook her head. "It's okay. I understand."
As they sat there in silence, Y/N couldn't help but feel a sense of relief. Finally, she had confessed her feelings. Even if Reed didn't return them, she was glad she had been honest.
As they left the coffee shop, Reed walked Y/N home. The air was filled with a strange tension, a mix of sadness and awkwardness but as they said goodbye at the doorstep, Y/N couldn't help but feel a sense of hope. Perhaps, one day, her feelings for Reed would be reciprocated. Reed stood in front of her, his mind racing. He had never expected her to feel that way about him. He'd always seen her as a friend, a confidante. The thought of her loving him in that way was both surprising and unsettling.
As he watched her walk in, he couldn't shake the feeling of guilt. He had been so caught up in his own life and his relationship with Susan that he hadn't noticed Y/N's feelings. He had taken her friendship for granted.
The next few days were a blur. Reed found himself avoiding Y/N, afraid of what he might say or do. It was a bit of a hassle since they were roommates but, he knew he couldn't continue to lead her on, but he also didn't want to hurt her.
Finally, he decided to confront the situation. He met up with Y/N during her shift at the coffee shop, his heart pounding in his chest.
"I've been thinking about what you said," he began, his voice barely a whisper. "I... I'm sorry, I’ve been avoiding you. I didn't know what to do with myself."
Y/N looked at him, her eyes filled with sadness. "It's okay," she said. "I understand."
“I don't want you to think that I don't appreciate your friendship," Reed continued. "You mean a lot to me."
Y/N nodded. "I know."
As they sat in silence, Reed couldn't help but feel a pang of regret. He knew he had missed out on something special. But perhaps, in time, he and Y/N could find a way to move forward.
Weeks had passed since Y/N's confession. Reed had moved in with Susan, trying to convince himself that he was happy. The truth was, something was missing. He missed the easy laughter they shared, the comfort of their friendship.
One evening, he found himself standing outside Y/N's apartment building. A wave of nostalgia washed over him as he remembered the countless hours they had spent together within those walls. On a whim, he decided to knock.
Y/N answered the door, her face lighting up in surprise. "Reed? What are you doing here?"
"I... I needed to talk to you," he stammered. "I've been thinking a lot about what you said."
Y/N invited him inside, her heart pounding. She had hoped he might come back, but she hadn't dared to believe it.
"I've made a mistake," Reed admitted. "Ever since I’ve moved in with Susan it hasn’t felt the same. I realized I wasn't ready for that. I wasn't sure if I even loved her."
Y/N's eyes filled with tears. "Reed, I..."
"I know," he interrupted. "I should have listened to my heart. I should have realized that what I really wanted was you."
Y/N's heart raced. "Reed, I..."
"I know," he said again, cutting her off. "I'm asking you to forgive me. I want to give us a chance."
Y/N hesitated. She had been hurt, but she also cared deeply for Reed. Finally, she nodded. "I forgive you."
As they stood there in the doorway, Reed realized that he had finally found what he had been searching for all along. The love he had always felt for Y/N was real, and he was determined to make it work this time.
An: I’m going to be 100% honest, this was so rushed lol, but I had an idea and wanted to get it out 😭
#my fic#x reader#fanfics#my fanfiction#reed richards x reader#reed richards#fantastic four#fantastic 4#fantastic four x reader#miles teller#miles teller x reader#miles teller imagine
16 notes
·
View notes