#it had to be the meds i was on or something but i asked my psyche and none of them i was on caused that

[bullet-prooflove]

Eddie Diaz - pumpkin 🎃 snake 🐍 heart ❤️

Tagging: @kmc1989 @gatefleet @tigolebittiez @mckinleysbones @totalstitchlover19

Companion piece to:

Box Breathing - Eddie's been struggling since Christopher left.

Always - You make a promise to Eddie.

Real - Eddie tells you he wants something real.

A Future With You - Eddie makes a realisation during a one on one game of basketball.

Cash - Eddie discovers your secret Instagram profile.

You have a thing about snakes, you always have. It’s an innate, bone deep, primal fear that alleviates all of your irrationally. Eddie discovers this when you open up an orange and black gift box with pumpkins on and you let out the most ungodly scream he’s ever heard. It echoes through the entire fire station as you hurl the box over the balcony and Eddie watches it hurtle through the air, the snake sailing out of the box before it completely disappears from view.

The look on your face in that moment, he’ll never forget it.

It takes them over two hours to find that snake nestled up against the hot pipe in the bathroom. You spend that entire time bundled up on the roof, refusing to come down until it’s been removed from the premises.

It’s Eddie that finally approaches you, Eddie that brings you his quilted jacket because the temperature is starting to drop and he doesn’t want you to freeze to death. You’re trembling when he drapes it around your shoulders and he knows that it has nothing to do with the cold.

“I had my ex sectioned last Halloween.” You tell him as you sit on a lawn chair, your hands wrapped around a fresh mug of tea that Buck had deposited by the door. “He was schizophrenic and when he was on his meds it was great but when he wasn’t…”

You trail off because you don’t want to go into all of that, the hallucinations, the erratic behaviour, the violence…

It was never intentional, always in the throes of a break, but the bruises the next day, the fear for your safety it was very real.

“One of his things was symbols, he used to see them in everything, clouds, puddles, oil stains. He also used them a lot, sometimes as love notes, sometimes as threats.”

“Is that what that was tonight?” Eddie asks you gently as he leans forward in his chair, studying you. “A threat?”

“No.” You say quietly, your thumbs tracing lightly over the glazed pattern on the mug. “Snakes, they mean eternal love. It’s his way of saying that he’s still in love with me, that he wants me to come home.”

“Is that what you want?” Eddie asks you, his voice a little rough. “To go back home, to be with him?”

“No.” You tell Eddie, your gaze flickering up to meet his. “You’re the only one that has my heart Eddie, you should know that by now.”

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Like My Work? - Why Not Buy Me A Coffee

[growandrecover]

From one burnt out student to another

This semester has been an absolute nightmare for me, so welcome to the resulting post where I try to help other people who are in the same boat!

How about we run through a quick list together, okay?

Unclench your jaw, relax your shoulders, relax your face, unclench your fists

Are you sitting in the shape of a C right now? *hitting you with a broom* straighten your back out!!

Maybe get up and stretch while you're at it!

Have you taken your meds today? If not, go get 'em.

Have you eaten enough today? Coffee/energy drinks are not a meal!!

What have you eaten today? Do you need to get something to snack on?

Have you had any water today?

Do you need to rest? There is NO shame in taking a nap or relaxing. If someone does shame you, send them my way

How long has it been since you moved from where you are right now? Maybe move to another room if you can.

How long has it been since you looked away from your screen? Take a little 5-10 minute break to rest your eyes :)

How long has it been since you've showered? (No shame in this one either, it's okay if you can't do it. You're not judged here.)

Do you need to get into some fresh, comfy clothes?

If the weather in your area will allow it, can you open a window or go sit outside?

Affirmations:

My grades do not define me

I am more than a grade/a gpa

I am allowed to make mistakes

I am allowed to rest

Taking breaks is necessary for my well being

This semester/school year will not last forever

It's okay to take time for myself

I do not need to be productive all the time

I am capable

I am smart

I do not need to perform to perfection all the time

My mental/physical/spiritual/emotional health is more important than school

It is okay to ask for help

Asking for help does not make me weak or less capable

Assignments should not be valued over sleep/food/self care

If you have the energy, maybe try some of these:

Reach out to a friend/family member/mutual

Change your sheets

Take your trash out

Pick stuff up off the floor if there is anything

Do your dishes/run the dishwasher

Do a load of laundry/put any clothes away

Journal

Schedule any needed doctor's/dentist's/therapy appointments

Leave your home for a little bit

Go do something you enjoy

Create something

Go for a walk

Cook your favorite meal

You are doing amazing, and I'm so proud of you. You can and will get through this. You're not alone <3

As always, please feel free to reach out or send me an ask if you need someone to talk to!

[captain-pheonix]

Hello. I will call you Phoenix because that sounds very cool and you are cool and I platonically like you and enjoy your works.

Anyways I have come to request an all mercs + Pauling if you’re comfortable and want to write that. (If not maybe just Medic +whoever else you want to write for.) with a reader who has Schizophrenia? I’ve been going through some moments with it and the TF2 mercs are my comfort characters and your blog just feels nice.

If you aren’t comfortable with this feel free to block me or just ignore this ask entirely! Thank you very much!

A/n: GAHHH ILY PLATONICALLY TOO 🫶 ty for sending in a request, I’m so glad you enjoy my works! I try my best! I made sure I did some more extensive reasearch about schizophrenia/the real experience with it before I wrote this, please let me know if I should make some edits! (And other ppl reading this, also don’t be afraid to send an ask about making edits!)

Mercs + Pauling w/ reader w/ Schizophrenia (headcannons)

(Platonic or romantic!)

Pauling:

- will have some guilt about how she works all the time and can’t be there for you

- might send some gifts and call you in between jobs/travel, asking how you’ve been, asking if now was a good time or if you needed a distraction

- as soon as she gets the chance to come see you, she takes it

- asks over and over if you’re okay, because it’s been keeping her anxious on her jobs

- she’ll comfort you with sweet words over the phone if you call her for help

- reminds you to take your meds

Scout:

- absolutely clueless

- buys into stereotypes

- “the voices” type shit

- this guy is gonna need a thorough explanation as to how you feel all the time

- probably asks you how you’re feeling all the time too

- might be a little too quick to do his sneak-attack hugs

- likes hugging you a lot, so that could offer some grounding if you’re having delusions/hallucinations

- words of affirmation 10/10

- expect a lot of words…

- speaking of a lot of words, need an auditory distraction? The scout-o-matic is here! (Only $69.99)

Soldier:

- clueless prick

- thinks you’re some spy or something

- it might take the entirety of the team to convince him otherwise and try to explain it to him with your help

- might also buy into the stereotypes

- if you say you hear or see something that man is going to run around screaming with his shovel trying to chase them off for you (believes they’re real, but only you have magic powers to see them or something)

Medic:

- #1 meds administer

- does not buy into stereotypes, since he may know something about it

- (fw researching you heavy)

- dude is taking notes as you’re straight up not having it

- jk he goes to comfort you if he can after a bit

- you WILL be staying in the infirmary with him (sorry I don’t make the rules)

- will look into techniques to help you

Demo:

- you already know he’s offering alcohol to take the edge off/distract

- you have tried many times to tell him that that will not work

- if you had alcohol with your meds things would not end well

- offers himself as a napping space for being really exhausted (I’d take him up on that)

- he might already be passed out when you go to ask if you two can nap

- might wanna just scootch in there

Heavy:

- will protect you from the bad things (or at least try)

- if someone hurt pookie that’s no good it will not do

- offers protective bear hugs if you need something/somewhere/someone to cuddle up to and be distracted/grounded

Pyro:

- if you’re describing what you see to them, or have in the past, they might try to draw them with good old fashioned crayons and printer paper

- also schizophrenic 😭

- huge empathy from them

- but uhm they might also just straight up not know they’re schizophrenic, so bro could just be like “same”

- alright enough Gen z talk from me (there can never be enough)

- even if just hanging out with them makes you feel more comfortable

Sniper:

- probably feels bad for you

- opts to hang out indoors if hallucinations/delusions are not fun outside

- comforts you when you think you see or hear something

Spy:

- if he’s attempting to be subtle you might expect some noise cancelling headphones and other helpful tools show up at your door

- if you need a break from certain rooms he’s definitely gonna offer his smoking room

- gets you pill organizers for your meds if that’s something you struggle with

- offers lots of gentle comfort

- let’s be honest, this guy was clueless before you started talking to him about it and what it was

- now he just wants to offer help

Engie:

- probably pities you a bit

- gives you that Texan hospitality but may take a bit to understand you better

- will 10/10 make you something if there’s something he can make to help and if it’s possible

- gonna try everything in his power to make your life easier

————————

Hopefully I did okay 😭 ty for sending in your request!!

[biancadoes1]

@dollypopup AWWWW did I strike a nerve? I’m sorry. I didn’t know you were delicate little snowflake that has to be babied because you have ADHD.

WELL I DO TOO AND THE LAST FUCKING THING I NEED IS SOMEONE TO CODDLE ME.

You do realize that this same exact comment has shown up on other blogs too right? I had that confirmed today Why? Because you can’t think of anything else to say can you?

You do look fucking stupid. To sit there and act like you know this man and his business and his stimms and whatever else is the epitome of looking stupid. And don’t get it twisted like you’re trying to do. You’re actively trying to “burst bubbles” based off your own ideas of Luke touching his lips. Did you read his mind? Did he tell you “I’m only touching my lips because I’m stimming and it’s not related to Nicola at all.”

Oh, he didn’t? Ok. Then SHUT THE FUCK UP.

STOP leaning on ADHD like a crutch for your sensitive fucking feelings. I’ve dealt with this shit my whole life and it’s fucked things up for me and made learning harder but do I ask for pity on the internet?

Do I sit here and go into a full blown fucking episode because someone said mean words to me about stimming and ADHD😭😭😭???

No. I don’t. And most likely neither does Luke. Because we’re adults. And not everything is related to our ADHD but is very obvious that that’s all you bother to talk about. You probably wear it like a badge. Make sure everyone knows you struggle with being on time, or focusing on work, or having three things to do all day and not doing a single one. You probably share ADHD memes to regularly remind everyone that you’re DIFFERENT 🦄✨

You know EXACTLY what you were doing with that comment. Don’t play dumb sweetie.

Grow up and act like a functioning adult or get offline, pop your meds and go clean something you dumb bitch.

You don't need to share this. I just love those people. They know Luke so well. ADHD: the reason for everything.

„Sorry to burst the bubble, but us peeps with ADHD almost always have some kind of oral fixation (I see you, Luke. He smokes too (well...vapes?) and as a fellow ADHD oral fixation babe, I feel the kinship), so we're licking our lips and touching our mouths and all that because we're stimming. Many people have thought I'm flirting when I'm just self soothing with a stimming activity like playing with my tongue piercing or biting my lip. Neurotypical people often have a misunderstanding of how neurodivergant people's body language differs from theirs, since it isn't widespread knowledge. But yeah....he's literally just stimming. Same as when he's touching his lips”

Here’s the thing.

We don’t know Luke. We don’t know for sure if that’s how he stimms.

Unless you know Luke Newton I think it’s really weird to tell other people what he does when he’s stimming.

So unless he tells you that to your face, in person, that he’s stimming when he’s touching his lips and eye fucking Nicola, I don’t care to hear or take this shit in to consideration.

STOP USING ADHD AS A FUCKING EXCUSE FOR LUKE NOT BEING ATTRACTED TO NICOLA.

I’m starting to get really pissed off that something I also struggle with is being used a counter argument for people who can’t accept that these two are likely together.

Shut the fuck up. Stop claiming this man does certain things when you don’t know him in real life. You look fucking stupid.

[bludermaus]

I'm not as angry as some folks for Swansea not killing Jimmy early

Okay so hear me out:

We know that Anya told Swansea about the things that Jonah has done (the game doesn't specify, but let's presume it was everything) and, in turn, Swansea becomes more rude and antagonistic towards James, as well as being even more protective of the Utility Room.

We don't fully know the contents of the conversation between them. Jimbo interrupted both of them, they could've continued talking about it afterwards or maybe they were at the tail end of it. The matter is, they talked about the remaining cryo pod and - from my interpretation - collectively decided to give Daisuke the cryo pod if a time for it came. Anya crying could be either because she was opening up to Swansea about Jimminy's crimes, the fact that she was going to stay behind with Swansea for Daisuke's sake, or a combination of both.

So... who knows if Anya even asked Swansea to do something about Jerry. For all we know they decided she'd just lock herself in the med room every night away from Jonathan while Swansea kept guard of the Utility Room. Maybe she asked Swansea to do something and he - like Curly - failed her. Or maybe she even told him not do anything hasty... which sincerely I feel was the case.

Hear me out hear me out! I think there are two reasons why Anya would ask Swansea to just keep it between them for now and not do anything harsh/violent against Jeremiah:

1) People don't just think about murder as their first response, it's *hard* to decide to kill someone, even if they are deserving considering the circunstances and how they reject any and all accountability;

2) As a nurse, I think Anya is well aware of what could happen by killing Jambalaya. There are mental effects that could happen, morale would go down from the loss of human life, killing someone is not an easy thing to do and their minds have already been stretched thin from the whole crash situation. And also, imagine they killed Jamboree... what now? They can't just dispose of the body. What happens after some time when the body decomposes? What happens when the putrid air takes over the ship? What mental and physical consequences would that bring to the rest of the crew inside such a closed space with that smell? What if it's very hot inside and now you're stuck with that smell?

I just think that they decided it was better to just cope with Jizzy for the moment - handle him very carefully - because the moment they decided to kill him it'd signal the beginning of the end, their already stretched-thin mental states wouldn't hold much longer. I *GUESS* they could've killed him, put Daisuke in the cryo pod, mercy killed Curly, then Anya could've OD'ed on the pills and Swansea could have drunk so much Mouthwashing that he expired... but like, who goes for that as their first option?

Anyways this was long enough! I could be super wrong, this is just my interpretation of things, what matters is that we all hate Jimmy, fuck him. Also do not defend Curly, I feel bad for all the ordeal that he had to deal with post-crash but man you really fumbled the bag when taking responsibility was most necessary. Even if he hadn't done anything immediately, at least tell Anya that she had his full support and that Jinny would pay for his actions and that he needed some time to think of what exactly to do but that he WOULD actually do something, not just push away to the back of his mind

[hello-gloomy]

Giant Woman

Rodimus Prime x Female!Human!Reader

(Slight Lost Light crew x reader)

--------------------------

Description: An exploration mission gone wrong causes you to test out a new weapon to help your captains out of a tight spot. Chaos ensues.

Warnings: Slightly OOC, Crack taken seriously, Mild violence, slight horniness at the end (my bad).

A/N: I haven't read all of Lost Light or MTMTE. I did read Echo Garden and their Wiki pages, so that'll have to be good enough.

Words: 1,046

--------------------------

Megatron navigated the dimly lit passages, his silver frame holding the weight of the injured Rodimus slung across his shoulder. Suddenly, a crash rumbled through the underground tunnels, shaking the ground beneath their feet. Dust and debris fell from the ceiling above, and they stopped moving to look up at the giant hole above them. A massive hand reached down and grabbed one of the hostiles as it started screaming in fear while the others began shooting at the hand. There was more thumping and noises above them.

"That's not good," Rodimus joked nervously. He hissed in pain when they started walking again. The screaming behind them suddenly stopped, and a flash of air blew past them. While they continued walking, Rodimus glanced behind them and saw the hand reaching toward them.

"Oh shit." Megatron turned while still walking to look at what made his co-captain panic. "Can't we go any faster?!" He tried to limp faster to keep up better with Megatron, who increased his pace. The hand behind them was about to snatch them when Rodimus started screaming. It finally grabbed them and shot back out the way it came and through the hole. They were back at the surface; they heard screaming and shots being fired. The hand holding kept them shrouded and dark; they were shifted and pressed against something slightly soft, covered in armor and fabric, which let off a slight blue glow. Megatron leaned against the wall and heard a beating noise; the wall rose and fell slightly while it moved. Suddenly, they picked up in speed, and they were squeezed a bit tighter. A light showered over them, and they were set near the landed Lost Light; Rodimus dropped to the ground, relieved and tired, while Megatron looked back to see who had saved them. His optics widened in disbelief at the sight in front of him; it was you, mass-displaced and huge compared to them; you practically on par with the Lost Light. Your mask went back into place, and you ran back to the hostiles approaching the ship and kicked them as far as you could, scooping others up and throwing them while blocking laser blasts.

Megatron shook himself from the surprise and limped Rodimus back onto the ship. A confused Swerve and Velocity rounded the corner to ask what was happening. The hangar door closed, and they all turned around to look. You walked in, and your mask snapped off with a hiss and a shake of your hair. You stopped right next to the group, everyone speechless at the sight of you the exact size of them.

"I'll take him to the med bay, Megs." Megatron lets go, and you scoop Rodimus into a princess carry and strut off with him in your arms.

"Holy Primus," Swerve said while watching you fade down the halls.

" I gotta tell Anode!" She sped off down the hallway giddly. Megatron sighed and walked off as well, much too tired to care.

Your wall down to Med Bay is quiet. Rodimus hasn't said a word, staring in awe at you while holding on to your neck, his head resting against your soft chest, listening to your heartbeat. You look down at him and slow your walk a bit. "You so quiet, Roddy." You tease him gently, but he only gives you a nod and a quiet 'Mhmm.' You enter the med bay and plop him down on a berth. Ratchet doesn't turn around to look at the two of you; he finally stops and starts to lecture.

"Can't you bots try to be caref-Oh, my Primus!?" He looked at you and dropped the instrument he was using, shocked to be face-to-face with you. "Hey, Ratchet, did you look at- Holy Shit!" First Aid walked and stopped in surprise at you as well. You're trying not to laugh at this point, finding the whole ordeal hilarious. You snap them out of their trance and ask them to fix their captain's leg. While working, all three of them steal glances at you, checking the stats on your armor. Brainstorm suddenly bursts in the room.

"IT WORKED!" His smile was huge and practically glowing with pride. You started laughing at his excitement and let him poke at the armor for a little bit, taking notes for him while he prattled on in eagerness. It should wear off in a few hours. Let me know if anything feels off at all, " he said after checking everything out. You gave him a nod, and he walked out, muttering about the suit's statistics. You smile and wave your hand, and the medics finish up on Rodimus's leg. They check the rest of him before giving him a clean bill of health; you help him stand up, and he virtually smooshes himself against your body, almost rubbing you like a cat. You laugh a bit before Megatron and Ultra Magnus walk in. Megatron waves his hand in your direction with a pointed look at Magnus.

"Huh," Magnus says quietly, "Hi Megs, Hi Mags!" Megatron walks right back out, and Magnus stands momentarily before speaking. "Just ensure the two of you finish your battle reports on time." He turns and leaves; following Ultra Magnus's and Megatron's steps, you walk back to your and Rodimus's shared Berthroom. The door to the room shuts behind you, and you set your Sparkmate on the berth, taking a seat beside him. He quietly watches you, taking in all your features. He can see much closer now that you are the same size as him. You gently rub his spoiler while he takes you in. He looks up, and his optics meet your eyes, currently blue to match the chemicals running in your suit that helped you change your size. He grabs one of your hands, and his other servo caresses your face affectionately; you lean in and kiss him, closing your eyes and wrapping your arms. You let go, get up to lock the door, and dim the lights, sauntering over to him in the most seductive way possible.

"We got a few hours before this wears off. Want to try something fun?" You whisper to him while pushing him down on the berth, hovering over him.

"Primus, yes."

[wis-art]

little comic i made based on this ask @scyrus42 sent me

[aro-culture-is]

Aro culture is debating for YEARS if trauma made you aro or if you always were. Then you get informed about Avoidant Personality Disorder and now you’re sitting here like.. I’m aro and have a personality disorder?????????????? Because that makes a lot more sense. I do yearn for connection because of the disorder but I do not feel consistent romantic attraction 😳😳 it’s like bearly there at all like an incense that keeps going out.

.

[thecoolerliauditore]

oh this is one of those. we're trying to not be weird about women and that makes us even weirder about women things. cool

[dragons-and-yellow-roses]

Me, while manically cleaning my room at 3:27am: I should make several large, life-changing, irreversible decisions.

[malkaleh]

I keep trying to write an update and then being embarrassed about it and feeling like I’m trauma dumping on people by updating and I just..I know it’s on me to manage my crap, I know. I am trying (not very well but I’m trying) and it’s just…I don’t know. I don’t even know.

[honey-skulls]

HUGE VENT

I'm sorry but i need to get this out, just please don't worry too much or take anything personally/gen

My routine these last two weeeks has been:

-Wake up at my 10 am alarm and spend the whole day in bed, mentally and physically exhausted, brain fog and no motivation for anything, only getting up to eat, having to wait for the "food time" hours to roll around that my therapist gave me because I'm not allowed to eat outside of those hours and if I'm hungry but missed the last food time then too bad, struggling to stay awake because again I'm not allowed to sleep out of the "sleep hours" she gave me and that includes naps, excitedly waiting for 21h30/22h to roll around so i can finally sleep

-Spend the evening mentally screaming in my mind because, while my body is still just as physically exhausted, my mind is suddenly sharp and full of ideas and motivation, but i'm still too tired to get up and draw

-Then spend midnight and onward rolling around in bed, hot and bored out of my mind because my physical tiredness also vanished, but i'm not allowed to get up and draw because it's "sleep hours" and i need to reschedule my body, and end up falling asleep at around 5 am

I'm totally not slowly loosing my mind 😃👍

Edit: Oh also the constant noise in my ears has gotten worse, i don't know what silence is anymore

Silence is actually worse than loud rooms

It's driving me insane

It's so loud

[erythristicbones]

Hi is it weird to ask what “ptsd nightmare” pills are

I have had ptsd nightmares on the daily for years and I thought I just had to live with it; there’s treatment???????

Oh, well technically the medication my doctor has put me on for my nightmares isn't specifically for nightmares! They have me on Prazosin, which is typically prescribed for blood pressure regulation, but has a side effect of making some people not have dreams/nightmares. So, they put me on a low enough dose that I get that side effect but don't have it affect my blood pressure

[front-facing-pokemon]

[girlivealwaysbean]

sometimes my bestfriend is like an angel in disguise istg

[curetapwater]

Food rambles aside, I genuinely cannot list a least favorite food of all time because nothing tastes as bad as amoxicillin.