#it doesnt look like it came from the editor but whatever

[carousel-moth]

i originally made this thing in roblox and its kinda cute ngl. its name is carousel

look at it go

[thekingofwinterblog]

Man I wish your MHA prediction came true, cause, no spoilers, but the truth is so bad😂

atleast its finallly over... never reading a series when it hasnt finished serialisation again😂

It's not even a BAD manga ending... i have seen BAD manga endings before, i know how they look like.

No, what MHA's final chapter is, is a NOTHING Ending. An ending where it is so, PAINFULLY obvious that the Mangaka or his editor did not want to piss anyone off, or take risks in general, that for a whole host of characters, there is NO closure, or even worse, it negates what came before.

so, its not like there is nothing good about the chapter, as i like shoji's big declaration, and the fact that japans society is changing to help people deal with the quirks withouth having to become heroes... but other than that, even the stuff i liked had major caveats.

But by far the biggest issue is that there are so many characters who got NO closure for their respective relationships, and it is stupidly obvious why, and who.

and since this question was prompted by Aizawa and his development, lets start with mic and Aizawa.

This picture right here encapsulates how Aizawa has changed. This is where he was always planned to end up. It is his natural end point compared to where he started off his story. Having turned into a much more caring man, who helped Aoyama rise above his flaws and change for the better rather than the brutal and spartan teacher he was at the start.

Or as his Ex Girlfriend would have put it has learned the value of "A household where the laughter never ends.".

However, the problem is we get no chapter, or even an ATTEMPT at giving him any form of closure where this change is encapsulated, the way we got with Endeavor, spinner, and Uraraka.

And thats a problem, because it wasnt ONLY hjis character who was tied to this hypotetical chapter for closure.

The closure of the ENTIRE idiot trio from the previous generation, alive and dead was dependent upon whatever Hori had planned for this hypotetical epilogue chapter before he or his editor chickened out, leaving Kurogiri's death in the climax with NO sense of aftermath behind it, coming and going, and frankly feeling like an aftertought rather than the sad ending to the tragic tale of the man who died too soon.

It also leaves Mic the single worst off, because while Aizawa at the very least had his character development to fall back on as a final point, even if he didnt get a closure chapter or moment, Mic gets NOTHING.

and that's a big problem, because as im going to go over in my big analysis of the man, Mic's entire deal is that while Aizawa developed in a terrible, negative reaction to his buddy's death, Mic's reaction was to stop developing at all.

His entire life after the tragedy is being a background character in everyone else's life, the DJ who always tries to make everyones day brighter, but has no actual ambitions, dreams or goals of his own.

thats why he clings so desperately to his memories of highschool, because unlike everyone else from that time, those memories are all he has. Even Aizawa managed to have a girlfriend at some point, an actual relationship, that though it crashed and burned had meaning. Mic doesnt even have that.

He is the ultimate sad clown, who pretends to himself that he hasnt wasted his life, by embracing a role as a literal supporting character, that his teachers suggested he would turn out to be.

In other words, his role in a chapter dealing with the epilogue of the trio, would certainly have been to finally, actually begin living his own life again.

but withouth that, there is nothing to suggest he managed to change. he will just continue to waste his life, thinking he'll never be able to create great new times for himself, rather than actually living his life and making new, best moments of his life.

i might be more annoyed about Aizawa not getting that final closure with Miss Joke, but there is no questions that Mic got an even worse deal with the narrative than Aizawa.

He remained a background character to the very end.

he's not the only one though.

You know who else never got closure? The Iida brothers.

We NEVER got to see how Tensei reacted to his brother not only taking up his mantle, but actually surpassing him and all his deeds during the climax.

Tenya's great ambition was to become a great hero to live up to his brother, and we didnt get to see any of his family members reaction to him actually achieving this dream.

As for other members of class 1-A...

Hey, quick question for anyone who read this story, Did you think Mina and Kirishima's character stories ended with these two, small, not given very much importance panels?

No?

Well fuck you, youre wrong! this is where both of their characters ends. their relationship, and their character arcs in general ended here, and they get no closure whatsoever.

and finally we move unto Izuku and the bigger problem with him and where he ended up.

Starting with him becoming a non powered hero, using tech.

Okay, not a BAD ending... But i feel like... maybe... there was a plan for something with that. Maybe... Maybe something that happened, and would have eased his character into using tech, rather than All Might just showing up with it after he's been a salary man for 3 years... Maybe something that was foreshadowed for years, and years.... Oh right.

Izuku losing his lower arms.

Like, looking back, it is painfully clear that Izuku was originally meant to lose his arms for good, before the editor(as he did with bakugo's death) put the kibash on that.

I like the idea... but there was a much better and more logical road to him becoming Iron Man with him having to use robotic hands in the epilogue. it would also be the logical outcome of all that foreshadowing, and was probably the original idea before it was deemed too gruesome.

However, thats a missed what if.

And if you have read the final chapter, you know it's not the BIG issue with this chapter. The SINGLE biggest problem with this ending, that is going to haunt it forever afterwards.

The complete sinking of Izuku x ochako by making it clear izuku has no regular contact with his former classmates, and ending the story withouth anything to suggest these two hooked up at all.

Now, im going to be very blunt, and very clear, before i tear this entire ship sinking to bits.

I didn't like Izuku x ochako.

At all.

I thought it was boring, too drawn out, and i didnt find much enjoyment as a ship from their interactions. in fact i would say i found izuku to have better chemistry with pretty much every other female character he ever interacted with.

Izuocha is the epitomy of a safe shonen battle couple. pure, boring vanilla.

I want to get that out of the way, before i really delve into why the way Hori just... torpedoed this ship because he didnt want to deal with the aftermath, was such a slap in the face.

Lets start with the most obvious problem.

It was all a waste of time.

every single moment of shiptease, and uraraka pining after izuku...

was one...

gigiantic...

Waste of fucking time.

I didnt like reading about this couple. But i cannot make the claim the story was not building up towards it.

it spent the vast majority of it's story building towards this couple, and in the last 3 chapters it devoted two of them to seemingly resolving this couple's story, and setting up for the next step... that never fucking came.

meaning that every little bit of ship tease these two had was a joke, a waste of time, it didnt mean anything in the grand scheme of things.

It was one of the most annoying parts of this manga to read through, and to my absolute fury and disguist i was fucking -vindicated.

It was an objective, waste of fucking time that could have been devoted to ANYTHING ELSE! It could have been devoted to another, better pairing, more character development for 1-A, Inko, the league of Villains, ANYTHING!

If the story was not going to end up with these two, there were plenty of ways to do that too, like having Uraraka's decision not to confess backfire as izuku moved on and hooked up with Mei, or melissa, or anyone else! or maybe just have izuku have moved past her an her ending up being friendzoned because she didnt make a move early enough! Or maybe have Uraraka realize she was gay after everything with Toga!

Again, ANYTHING ELSE would have been preferable.

instead, even at the very end, even when the following pages kills the pairing dead, Hori STILL tries to shipbait these two!

fuck off.

2. Making Urarak look shallow through the worst fucking timing in the world.

so, here is a question for you.

if you were going to ultimately choose not to go through with izuku x ochako, when would be the worst, possible timing to do it?

because i sure cant think of any point worse, than during a timeskip, where izuku's quirk ultimately went away, leaving him powerless and a common working man for 3 years afterwards.

Now this is obviously not meant to be the actual reason in universe for why this pairing didnt happen... but the implication is there...

And it wouldnt have been, if Hori had actually had Izuku turn her down in one of the previous chapters.

but because he decided to chicken out of any and all romance to not get any shipper blowback, through the safest way possible, it's there.

It's ugly, and it's cruel, and it's mostly implication... but it is there.

3. It makes Uraraka's entire character growth with Toga WASTED.

So Toga's part of her and Uraraka's storyline is obvious.

The girl who was looking for someone, anyone who would want to understand her finally found somebody who would, and she decided to give it all for that person.

in uraraka, she finally got what she could not get in the league, amongst her old friends, or anyone else.

No the problem is not with that side of their shared development.

The problem with this is that it completely wastes Uraraka's side of this equation.

The thing that Uraraka envied about Toga, was her ability to smile as she wanted, uncaring about how the world might think of her, something the shy uraraka deeply wished she could do too.

Ultimately, as presented in the final war arc, her develoment from this relationship was her finally learning to be honest, to embrace doing what she wanted to do.

She wanted to reach out a genuine hand in compassion to Toga despite EVERYTHING, and so she did. uncaring about what the world might have thought.

FInally she could be who she wanted to be. the girl who had been defined so long about keeping her love and more emberassing feelings under wrap no longer cared about being judged for them.

It's a very beautiful moment.

Man... It sure would SUCK if later uraraka completely backtracked, was never able to tell her crush her actual feelings, and instead it went absolutely nowhere, meaning she reverted back to the same person she had always been. that she never really grew past this flaw of herself she disliked.

That would really, really suck, and cheapen her entire character climax from the final war arc.

Man, that would suck.

It would suck even more, if the reason that happened, was due to the author not wanting to piss off the shippers that shipped the target of her affection with his former abuser and bully who tried to get him to kill himself.

This was a terrible way to end the series, not due to directly sucking, the way Attack on Titan, or bleach's endings did... but instead due to committing SO HARD to resolving NOTHING, that it flipped all the way around to being INFURIATING in how much it REFUSED to give ANY character who's final resolution would probably have involved shipping, that its pisses you off, because it means that everything that these characters were building towards had no resolution.

The only real exception was Iida, and in his case its just obviously clear that Hori just did not care to give him a climax. for everyone else though?

Hori's decision to not wanting to go through what Kishimoto went through after Naruto's final chapter might be understandable, but it also means that his already rocky final arc ended wastly lesser in quality than it could have.

[funkin-news]

ninjamuffin ama summary - 9/28/2021

you know the drill, purple text is me paraphrasing, everything else is direct (or almost direct) quote, FNF-related stuff only

Q: What is one common misconception about FNF or its development that you wanna clear up?

A: im not the sole creator, im not some sole director. Each of the boys have very important roles with the game. This isn't just 1 dude having tunnel vision about a game, its generally all us coming to similar conclusions on where we want to take the game and what we wanna do wit it

Q: why

A: because I love video games and I love newgrounds

Q: Do you or the team plan to go back and make the older weeks higher quality?

A: that will definitely happen. both for general polish, and things leading up into future weeks / story or whatever

Q: Why did everyone think Week 8 was gonna come out on the 22nd?

A: accidental "teases" (Dave's MC-related doodle), madness day, general anxiousness bc the devs haven't been sharing much

Q: What kind of QOL changes are being added in the future?

A: charting editor improvements is one

Q: What is the most insane, most likely impossible to happen person you would like to collaborate with, could be Funkin related, could be just a personal project

A: the girl reading this

Q: Is Cassette Girl week 8?

A: no

Q: Is there concept art for the characters, or did they look the same during development?

A: GF looks exactly the same as the first ever drawing PhantomArcade did. There's a few small lil variations for a good chunk the other MAIN characters, one day u will see all them

R: can you explain the old bf icon? or is it just a dumb placeholder?

A: just a cool ass lil icon evilsk8r did during the game jam weekend

Q: Are you letting yourself getting inspired by more different genres of music for future weeks?

A: i think that more a Q for kawaisprite, but that man loves music, and can and does get inspired by anything he listens to in regards to music

Q: Why has the team been so silent about update progress?

A: They do better working in silence than hyping things up; when Week 6 was teased working on it became really stressful for them. Also, element of surprise

R: but youve been silent abt week7 on desktop for months, half a year. & week 8 is like….. nonexistant

A: week 8 isnt nonexistant, we just absolutely do not want to talk about it whatsoever. i said all the week 7 stuff will come with week 8 update

Q: what do you genuinely think about the people thinking you guys scammed people out of $2 million? just curious is all, i’ve seen lots of people talking about it rn

A: i think people are a bit wary about kickstarter, and makes sense when people's coin is on the line. if u want a breakdown of what we used KS coin so far, we spent maybe 2K of it on some development stuff we needed, most other expenses been paid from our savings / donations, etc.

Q: When does the OST come to the backers?

A: Kickstarter vinyl OSTs still need to be manufactured, which would take at least 6 months because of a global PVC shortage, completely out of our control. what is in our control is that we also still need to finish up and finalize artwork for it, the boys wanna make it all perfect. Same goes for CDs, but those should be done way sooner

Q: You got a date range of when Tshirt / Poster / or Pin surveys will be out by any chance? 👀

A: kickstarter tshirts / poster / pin stuff have been coming along nicely and hopefully those surveys should be coming soon, prob next few weeks

Q: Do you guys think you'll experiment with other artstyles in future weeks?

A: yes, cuz we've already done that (week 6) theres a lot more where that came from

Q: if you could isolate one part of the game and say it’s your favorite what would it be

A: the fact that FNF is our pure creative vision, with absolutely nothing getting in the way of that. Open source free Newgrounds rhythm game with crazy zany kawaisprite music, and stylish and charismatic animation and art style. and game been successful because of all of that.

Q: what do you think about people compiling the full ass game and playing it without paying anything

A: that makes me happy

Q: what do you think of all the mods and stuff people has made about your game

A: mods make me happy

Q: any inspiration from doki doki literature club for the weird stuff in week 6?

A: no, but some of the cool lil programming things DDLC did do interest me

Q: How do we know you're working on the game

A: you don't, and really it doesnt matter all too much. we being productive and things are moving forward, and people not believing that doesnt change that

And now, a speech:

i think trying to focus on keeping hype and keeping game popular can very easily be hollow. We have no worry about trying to keep hype or relevancy or anything like that. If FNF popularity shrunk to 0.1% of it's size, we'd be content, cuz that's still like 1000% more than before

"before" referring to anything we did before FNF.

you can lose success just as easily as you got it, and for FNF, it got successful INCREDIBLEY fast. With that in mind, it's just the nature of things if it all loses relevancy.

So far FNF doing good through the year, but if it wasn't, it's no real sweat off our back.

Although it's uhhh easy to look at it that way from our perspective. Get back to me and see if my thoughts on this has changed if FNF is forgotten from all memory.

Q: will there be a sequel to the full ass game? Like 'the full a2s game' or something clever like fast & furious movies do

A: friday night funkin: tokyo drift

[oceanselevenism]

I've seen that most of the stories on ao3 about them are mostly canon-compliant (and I don't have anything against that tbh) but I was wondering if you have any aus that you think could fit them or that you'd like to see?

omg i have SO MANY aus!! (it got Very Long so its under a cut)

- college au! danny gets kicked out (hes on full scholarship and does Thiefly Things to cover his expenses so hes not endangered just fairly fucked up abt it) (does it count as kicked out if u only live w ur dad three months a year) in freshman year, he befriends rusty (1 year below him) in sophomore year, debbie also befriends rusty (she and danny dont talk much but shes 2 yrs below him at the same college), and when reuben comes calling for a job he thinks debbie has a boyfriend (thanks to debbie telling her dad that she does) so she fake dates rusty. who ends up joining the job. and danny is Very Jealous

- snl ripoff au! danny and rusty are the weekend-update-adjacent anchors and they get gay. i Would have this take place in la (reuben is taking A Risk producing a late night sketch comedy show on the west coast but the 11/12/however fuckin many are fantastic cast members so even though they lose revenue from the other timezones not watching as much as they watch snl or whatever, they still make BANK... but danny and rusty getting gay throws the equilibrium out of whack) BUT la sucks DICK so its happening in new york. also this way u get Ocean Sibling Banter (debbie and lou are the anchors for The Actual Weekend Update and when debbie/lou get together and also when danny/rusty get together there are so many ‘just switch out the blondes/brunettes nobody will be able to tell and we won’t have hr down our necks’ jokes)

- au where the caldwells, abt to go deep undercover on a Huge Fucking Case, have to give up custody of 6 year old linus to tess and danny. the case stretches on for twelve years and linus grows up w tess and danny (who get divorced like right after they adopt him bc tess finds out abt dannys Thiefly Activities-- he confesses to her bc he doesnt rly want to predispose the kid to said thiefly activities) and also isabel (she and rusty break up like Right Before tess and dannys wedding and its very funny; she then goes on to marry tess) parenting him (rusty isnt as much in the picture bc he doesnt feel bad at all abt stealing and tess doesnt want linus to pick up that mentality also rusty Feels Things abt danny)! then when linus is like 18 or 19 danny disappears (tess and isabel think its Thiefly Activities again and arent concerned, just disappointed, but linus is very concerned for his dad-slash-stepdad-slash-sort-of-uncle) and he tracks down rusty so they can find danny. they roadtrip across america and eventually catch up to danny, who is helping the caldwells, and the five of them take down whatever gang the caldwells were chasing. linus now has 6 parents

- au based on this post where some archaeologist finds a bunch of dannys [french person voice] Love Lettairs 2 rusty and so obviously the logical course of action is to rob the museum (which happens to be the museum that tess is curating. funny how things work out) without telling his team What Theyre Stealing. they successfully pull off the heist but turns out the letters were not among the items they stole!! danny is getting desperate. as a last-ditch attempt he calls tess and asks her to let them rob the museum. shes like Why The Fuck Would I Do That. he explains and she begrudgingly agrees. danny and livingston go break into the museum Again but rusty tails them bc dannys been acting Weird and he finds out abt the letters bc livingston sweats more whenever he tells a lie. they live happily ever after (literally, theyre immortal) the end. also even though dannys a werewolf the 11 all call him the new jersey devil (its not his fault that legend came to be ok!! he was very drunk!!)

- childhood friends au!! danny and rusty were best buds as very young kids and then the oceans had to move. flash forward 2 present day where danny and debbie r robbing a museum (theyre building a flower shop over the vault and tunneling in, the dudes in brazil who came up w it are very very clever) and guess which two people are the assistant curators (is that even a title?). guess. ill tell u its tess and rusty! danny recognizes rusty, rusty ‘does not recognize’ danny (which is valid. look at photos of child george clooney and tell me you would recognize him). the 11 demand that they use this to their advantage and so danny and rusty Sort Of Date while the rest set up for the robbery, and danny feels really bad abt it so on the day of (after everyone has gotten away, ofc, he might be a lovesick bitch but hes not a snitch) he confesses and rustys like lmao i was onto u from the start. what kind of a name is [insert alias here] anyway. then they go live a life of crime and its great

- @sanduschism came up w a fantastic au where danny pickpockets rusty and feels bad so he sends the wallet back and they strike up a Correspondence

- HOSPITAL AU!!! danny and rusty r er techs while theyre doing med school and nobody knows how they juggle their shifts w school but also rusty can do a tracheotomy in like 5 seconds and danny can tell when a person needs an mri before they even list their symptoms so nobody questions it and nobody splits them up Ever. when they eventually become surgeons, danny does cardio and rusty does neuro, and whenever they have to work together not only do they never have to say what theyre doing, they don't even have What Do U Want To Cook For Dinner convos fully out loud. tess is head nurse... she makes so many excel spreadsheets... they are ALL color coded. isabel is head er doc and nobody dares to halfass things on her watch. reuben is head hospital admin, saul is chief surgeon, basher is head of the burn unit, the malloys r the HUNKIEST nurses in town, frank does plastic surgery/ent (every patient loves him bc he is just So Calm), livingston is The IT Guy, yen does like orthopedics or physical therapy, and linus is their fav resident who they all lovingly tease 24/7. the ocean sibs r both Cardio Gods and each dominate their respective coasts. debbie is an nyc doctor and if she sees a mass gen doctor its on SIGHT. the few surgeries that she and danny collab on go so fast that the med students in the gallery Cannot tell whats happening. lou is also a plastic surgeon and she and frank r best buds. linus requests time off like 6 months in advance Every Time and everyone hates it bc then They have to be on call but he doesnt realize his Extreme Overachieverness is causing so much strife. whenever tess and danny get in an argument she colorcodes his rounds spreadsheet to be the most neon shit youve ever seen. can you tell i never fully progressed past my greys anatomy phase this one is like 93489302 lines long

- superpower au where rusty has midas touch and danny has corrosive touch and when theyre too young to have control over their powers (abilities develop throughout adolescence and the user gains control at the end of adolescence) they accidentally brush hands and are terrified they just killed each other but turns out their powers like. cancel out. so until they reach like 21 or 22 and can touch things without fucking them UP they just. hold hands all the time. bc otherwise they have to wear gloves to prevent Accidents and both of them “hate gloves” (and also love holding hands. gayasses)

- uhhh hallmark au where danny is a crime fiction writer out on some beach north of ocean city nj and rusty is his fancy nyc editor. everyone else is a thief including debbie who is just Very weirded out that her brother, who robbed boston’s institute of contemporary art at age 22 and got away with it, has decided to spend the rest of his life churning out books. he is very critically acclaimed and about half of the 11 are buds with him and use his published books as heist inspo. the other ~half of the 11 are buds with rusty, and they tell him if danny’s heists are feasible or not (they always are. scarily so.) anyway rusty and isabel break up 12 days before xmas and danny and tess break up 8 days before hanukkah so dannys heading to debbie’s place in upstate new york to mope for the holidays when A BLIZZARD HITS and he gets stranded in midtown. and he and rusty are buds but like. Email Buds. they dont hang out irl and therefore they dont let their Totally Bud-Like Feelings mess up their professional relationship. but danny is stranded and its hanukkah and he ends up crashing at rustys place for the duration of the blizzard. and then rusty ends up coming to debbies place for the rest of the holidays. and then they kiss on new years eve and debbie kicks them out bc theyre being gross

- And More! thanks for the ask, anon! sorry it got so long lol i just have Many Thoughts

[misterbitches]

i had the misfortune of finally watching/getting through what happened in whatever episode where he gets raped so im gonna talk about it and tag it cos that's what a bitch fuckin feels like, got it? i do what i want aint no limit bad ass bitch aint never been timid. woopsie realized i got the nicknames confused oh well lmao

it's just logistically and plot wise like there's literal plot holes in this and i'm taking the production and set-up into account along with the actual content and development. im an ARTIST OKAY im jk i mean i am and i am pretentious and terrible but look. i didnt get that degree and im not in a house worth of debt for nothing ok. it's called writing on tumblr about my grievances of shows that dont matter and do not respect me as a fat black american woman either so it is my fault yet here i am.

anyway it was worse than i imagined and their talk after (with chengren) was even worse. that's what i mean about making the lines their own (the actors) bc teng teng sounded like a straight up motherfucking moron and im like

bECAUSE IT'S HIM EVEN THO IM LIKE WHAT THE FUCK DID U JUST SAY U STUPID BITCH? but then it's like awwww and they also care about his wellbeing obviously??? but no? but it's like ok still teng teng said it even if it's stupid because he is a character and charles puts that forth. the people that fail the most to do that are xing si's family but that's not the actors fault because it's the literal material. you're like wait what but you just said...?

so i know they have no script editors i guess i think i find this season ACTUALLY fascinating because of just how egregious it is. i also went back and watched history: obsessed which i thought i liked because of their chemistry even though god the production....but i tried rewatching it and i was like wow this is worse than i remembered and the production issues were even worse because some of the music was SO LOUD AND BAD HOLY FUCK and their whole rship isssssss a sight to behold lmao

so man i guess it really is the power of anson/charles. which is good cos we love to see it...sort of but also a lot.

i honestly....because i've been able to pay attn more to the aftermath of the rape going back and putting it into more context and focusing (just barely lmao) is hm even worse. the inconsistencies are insane. it's not even just about the act but the writers have zero idea where they are going because they have no interest in exploring it. but the way in which it happens is like fascinating. yong jie literally thinks he owns xing si and it doesn't matter if he was kissing him or not or asked for a kiss on the lips (which dude what the fuck? i'll get to that) because he was plied with "extremely strong drinks" and his mom knew about it....which girl congrats you're an accomplice to the rape of your son by your other son?

but first of all...the kissing thing. in what fucking world would he (xing si) want that unless he thought he (yong jie) was someone else. i can't say their attraction is evident because we are being lead by this team to think so; they create this false sense of sensuality already so to me that signifies that they never intended for them to have a bond as brothers. it just feels cheap and fucking lazy (which it is.) even if he did, which doesn't make sense considering the context THEY CONSTRUCTED, it wouldn't matter because he was so fucking drunk which.... at that point nothing is fun, you feel sick, who wants sex like that? does he not have whiskey dick? did they have a condom? was it not painful for him considering? even if this was something to easily get over like was the dick good? it couldn't have been. and then, on top of that, there's the fact that you can change your mind or whatever but also that people do get aroused in these situations bc it is human nature (that's if they can literally get aroused which if the drinks were allegedly sooooo strong that nigga would be out so....again like even practically here it doesnt add up. have these people ever been drunk? if not, write what you know girl. cos sometimes it's like i think some of u r trying to be cool when u dont have 2 b lmao)

so yong jie coming on to him previously may be seen as like push-and-pull but here's the thing. right after it happens (the rape and it's rape so call it that you'll be okay) xing si gets up and goes home and is terrified and upset. he acts like what we have seen or even felt after a violation. he's scared, clutching his bag, it's like...you know...decently coming off as truly distressing (the actor isn't bad at all and i like that he's dark. i just massively hate this for him but hey at least he can show some chops.) like honestly man that fucking sucks and hurts to see. if we've been there we feel it. or part of it is realizing belatedly what happened. a lot of times that drop in your stomach is the worst.

but somehow for some reason, to which i cannot understand, the three of them begin to talk as if xing si pressured him? which maybe i missed something and that is possible—dont feel like going back to look—but that also made no sense. like what kind of false memory is this? why would he think he wasn't willing? and if he thought yong jie wasn't and that he pressured him how does he remember like...anything about the sex?!?!??!? besides waking up and being with him. like i guess he felt yong jie's MASSIVE DONG imprint but ??!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!??!? MAKE IT MAKE SENSE!!!!!

god then the logic of the top/bottom thing is like i said i wasnt going to get into it but it's actually really funny. this whole thing was hilarious. honestly because I DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHAT THAT MEANS. he could have totally raped him in that way but how did you get to this CONCLUSION FROM THAT??????? BY YOUR LOGIC THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS? IF HE IS THE BOTTOM AND PENETRATION IS THE ONLY FORM OF TRUE CONSUMMATION AND RAPE BECAUSE APPARENTLY, BASED ON ANATOMY, IF YOU HAVE A DICK IN UR BUTT UR A GIRL THEN HOW. DOES. THIS. MAKE. SENSE. AND THEN

AND THEN

AND THEN

AND THEN

this whole stupid conversation happens so we get to the conclusion that xing si violated him ok cool but that means that something is wrong. that is the CONCLUSION WE CAME TO A SECOND AGO?

also the other rapist is a villain and muren isn't in love with him so, once again, you're breaking the rules of your own world about acceptability which is why most of this is absolutely mind bogggglinG that iit's fuckign comical. like i actually when i can stomach it start laughing or my jaw is slack because it's so insulting as a viewer because there is like 0 logical followthrough.

because whatshisface barges in, kisses him in front of his friends without permission, then says whether you were willing or not which is hm. at that point how u gonna change that around but let's not bother with logic here. i am simply here to point out how this makes no sense according to the rules they set up even outside of the basic rule of life which is hm dont rape people maybe.

so now we know xing si was raped, they believe he was raped, he himself believes he was raped, and whatshisface literally says he doesn't care even if he was willing (he wasn't) so he admits to rape. i don't believe in the police and i hate them (BL industry needs the cops but dont get me down that road) but no one...thought to go?

because according to history 4 logic nothing matters so im sure if he went to the police you could handwave the homophobia since there's no actual context for anything besides their whimsy. but they dont want to do that because they aren't interested in an arc of growth; redemption isn't possible unless he is removed from the family but again no work on thinking this through or thinking about the victim's feelings. because gay sex? who fucking knows. supposedly progressive taiwanese writers of gay shit (like how supposedly progressive the world is. as in it is not and this behavior is the norm and bl perpetuates that) can't think of transformative justice?

and then they gave bad advice so we wont acknowledge that because teng teng doing anything wrong/stupid is frequent but hurts me and also that storyline is not real so i pretend they are not there outside of this post

so all of this is just straihgt up clownery now because it's fucking absurd like logically, practically, human-wise. the kissing thing is inconsequential but it was such a lazy cheap way out lmao cos they really wanted it to seem consensual but that's not how it works. on top of that their attraction makes no sense because whatshisface is just there. he is just there. he's nothing and no one so the sentiments are even more empty and on top of that he doesnt listen to a single request fucking obviously because the basis of their relationship is fucking rape so fucking listening and respecting his partner is not on his list of fucking priorities. he's literally so fucking annoying even without being a rapist it's like someone please beat his ass.

and then after all of that you want us to feel bad? with your horrible writing, poorly misplaced music, stupid costumes (those fucking SHOES THEY ARE HIDEOUS, AND MOST OF THIER CLOTHES DO NOT FIT IT'S LIKE WHY), questionable fucking editing. we're supposed to wnat them together? this sounds literally fucking crazy but bear with me lmao even with the rape they could at least have SOMETHING i mean like i cant believe im fucking saaying this. but like in addicted heroin which is fuckin tragic and awful at least there's a MODICUM of interest but honestly that show s a fucknig drag. idk they lookd good together? here we have 0. nothing. and it doesnt motivate. watching obsessed again i can see why i liked it in the beginning bc they have good chemistry but the acting and production adn like everything about it plus the rape-y vibes it's just too much. you need to pick one thing so if you're going to be a shit writer at least supplement it with something. this thing is nothing.

and even more nonsensical and what boggles my mind frankly out of all this is the mother's involvement and the father's final response. there are NO consequences? theyre all happy?

ok so lets go through this:

1. 2 boys grow up 2gether, one of the boys is fucking psycho, the mother knows but does nothing??????????????

2. one of the sons moves out so his father doesn't get a hint that's he's fucking gay. ok fine. he has 2 best friends, a job, an apt. he is fine.

3. aforementioned brother is obsessed with him for SOME REASON besides being crazy?

3.5 no one has done anything during him growing up to help him not be crazy?

4. mom says to husband who is their father also just in case we forget "im afraid he will lose his humanity"

4.5 again, do nothing. 0. just like oh man hes crazy. guess that's just our son ;)

4. who cares. plies him with alcohol purposefully to rape him. not even dubious (even though dubious is fucked and not okay or is just not. fucking real. these shows are contextless when they want to be or even movies or whatever so it's like largely not up to the task to understand complexity in human rships and then oversimplifies it constantly because that's what we do IRL. but people have fucking feelings you know and we realize when things don't feel good or right to us either very quickly after or having to process it. and once you're eyes are opened you may feel as something was fucking ripped away from you. for the modc couple this would be a very logical conclusion for the high schooler the thirty year old dated but again logic or feelings are up to their whimsy. no one cares bc everything can be counted as dubious so honestly it's a fucking stupid fucking topic like again why are we litigating what is and isnt consent when you could just like idk. read cues? consent? wait? not be a freak? like we all know what is proper human shit so even if we are watching this uncritically which u cant bc it's glaring and stupid it's just even more dumb) so it was honestly a rape plot like he literally planned it soooooooooo??!?!

5. aftermath of rape the victim is like literally fucking bereft and confused. and a rape victim. like that's what they are insinuating and what also he is to be clear.

6. boy tells him "idc if i raped u i luv u lmao"

7. mom ENCOURAGED THE BOY to get him drunk because her other son was too nice? she encouraged her adult son to rape her adult step-son (but her real son because she repeatedly says you are my son and the dad does too THEY GREW UP TOGETHER WHEN THE KID WAS IN AN IMPRESSIONABLE STATE) so THIS ALSO MAKES EVEN LESS MOTHERFUCKING SENSE

8. everyone finds out about his rape and he isnt mortified he's just concerned about himself being gay to his dad?????? except it's not really about his gayness bc now it's about his sudden love for his rapist brother? which? hm ok. understandable the dad is like wow i do not think i like this

9. dad knows all of it is fucked up, everyone does, knows the mother fucked up, knows he fucked up. doesnt like it because he is normal. so we know this is terrible? ok great so—

10. father says "i can't accept this...but i'm willing to give you my blessing" ok see here's the thing. when you write you have to think about the things you are putting on the page and what you have written previously. this quite literally made no sense how the fuck are you going to not accept them but give them your blessing? does this crew know what the fuck words are? i'm assuming they went to some sort of school to obtain jobs here bc there cannot be natural talent or experience. maybe most of them are rich. fuck i do not know but this also makes no sense. just the literal logic of it it's like fucking insane the whiplash.

10.5 apparently this father is also shitty. everyone here sucks and they are basically begging me to think xing si is a fucking idiot so i dont even want to look at him if he is an object he doesnt matter so now i want to kick him. thanks a lot you made the victim get absolutely fucking nothing

they KEEP PUSHING the brother thing it is so insane and it's liek GUYS WE GET IT WE UNDERSTAND THEYRE "RELATED" BUT NOT RELATED SO IT'S OK HE WAS "RAPED" BUT NOT RAPED but you're GOING BACK ON YOUR OWN RULES!!!!!!!!!! WE GET THAT THEY ARE BROTHERS!!! WE'RE OVER IT NOW BUT WHAT IS THIS WHEN WE ALREADY ESTABLISHED SOMETHING? I AM CONFUSION? they flip flop between my son, my brother my actual brother, and cannot fucking distinguish between love for your father and love for your romantic partner? so to me what i see is that the father wants to fuck the son. that's the conclusion i am garnering now considering nothing matters and his love for his "brother" is the same as his love for his dad lmao. they couldnt even do that in a way that made sense. like damn anybody can get anything. these ppl who are doing this have to be fucking rich and/or have connections.

also this guy sounds literally like a textbook abuser like he says constantly "im the best choice" is a rapist is awful holds capital (oh hees "saving" smh ur trapping her!!!!! RETIRE!!!!) also wears terrible shoes so i am like ur alllllllllLLLLL FUCKING CRAZY ur all literally crazy and then they are trying to set rules and boundaries in their fucking house like WHY ARE THEY LIVING TOGETHER EVEN? even tho oh my god they know he raped him and for some reason they are both allowing to live in the house but they dont want them to have sex??!?!?!??!??!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?! i get that this is their house but this is like at this point these ppl are writing anything and now whatshisface is acting like a 2 yr old again and we are supposed to find this cute? like it makes 0 sense why do u fucking care u literally encouraged ur son to rape him so they cant have consensual sex under your nose now and have to wait four years? this is coming from the son who couldnt wait until someone was sober enough to realize hes fucking psychotic and should be killed also the fact that they act like being 20 means u have no fucking brain like this kid is in med school supposedly how do we know like hes a liar and an idiot so. also wait do they mean undergrad? how are you in med school at 20? is he a genius? girl i dont care lmao i guess i missed that but it's not like it matters so whatever

even if we ignore the stupidity of the literal acts, the grossness of the content, the absolute inability to write coherently or even remotely in a way where we would even want to see them together which is like....u set it up at the beginning so he punches "the love his life's best friend" also holy fuck im sorry remember when he punches muren because xing si got too drunk. so i'm guessing whatshisface is that good of a bartender that he makes super strong drinks and gets xing si drunk but his alcohol is magical therefore it doesn't make him sick. his alcohol is the type that gets you drunk but somehow doesnt get to your liver even though that's how we get drunk but dont ask guys he's only in med school and a bartender so i think he knows best (seriously have the main writers had a day of fun in their lives? have they ever been drunk? are they toddlers? drunk babies could probably do better tho.) i get that he was also jealous but if this kid is SOOOOOO genius (he understands social cues lmao he has the cpacity to project onto his victim so im like miss me with the not understanding shit. go to a fucking therapist like seriously did no one care abt this kid? his mother thinks he's like almost a goddamn murderer. how is she not dead? how are they all not dead? how do any of them know how to drive with this type of brain?) then he would understand that they are very clearly friends since he watched them part in a very platonic way and since he apparently knows what love is cos he thinks....he can....make someone fall in love with him bc he loves them? again, i wouldnt know hes 20 and taiwanese and im 29 and black from AMERICA so im WESTERN* so you know. different life experiences i guess XD

even if we do mental gymnastics to get it to a place where they "had sex" and he didnt rape him there's 0 ZERO ZERO ZERO ZERO ties to the literal story they wrote and the rules they set up. i'm going ot assume they dont know wtf theyre doing and i know for a fact we all care more about their dumb show than they do but it's actually startling how piss poor this is it's like idek what to compare it to. the continuity is awful awful awful they needed a script supervisor majorly and they are making bank and are going to make fucking bank fof this shit. and itll just continue like that until IRL material changes and that's facilitated by these very same groups they choose to profit off of and exploit by propelling it into the mainstream and litigating homosexuality through capitalism. and i'm being specific with homosexuality. i dont want a GL market like at all and i know why we wouldnt have it either and that has everything to do with the nature of BL, capitalism, coercion, and the fanbase being young girls and women. i don't think in this day and age we can safely say all the fans are straight; i'm sure a majority but many women or people on the gender spectrum and sexuality spectrum also consume it. frankly, it's possible the women who write it could be or something too. i dont rly believe any1 is str8 lmao but im just saying it's not out of the realm of possibility. but it isnt about that at all. that's why we wont see "good" female characters (like well written) often that's why we won't see trans women or kathoeys or fat people or black asians in it. a lot of it is is a choice we participate in whatever. but holy fuck dude u could at least respect the audience's fucking intelligence. i'm talking about everything i think that is encapsulated in the project but it's even more jarring and worse because it's so insanely inconsistent and poorly done. like how we jump from one conclusion to another is wild to me. even their first "night together" and he wakes up im like girl....u no ur ass felt it. this nigga broke into his house and was like "im gonna have u" like it's getting weird

just make xing si suffer offscreen not us the stupidity is staggering, mind blowing, hilarious.

how wong kar wai, a straight man from HK (or at least married to a woman), or barry jenkins, a striahgt black man, write/do stories well about people they wouldnt knw about their experiences directly is....well thinking like using their brains and like knowing all types of people? the man who co-wrote moonlight is a hOMOSEXUAL, leslie cheung was fucking gay or queer (and he committed suicide and that's important also RIP homie) both are hailed as queer cinema like WKW wanted to do something else and invested time into it, changed the way he played around with structure, moved away from his crime oriented stuff. he THOUGHT about it and this film is about their reality. it's a harsh film, idk how i feel about it (but my fav movies of his are the crime ones or the messy ones where it's clear he didnt write a script lmao fallen angels is one of my fav movies its' abt assassins kinda) but i know it means something. and he didnt like what HK had previously wasnt enough. it is not the only cinema that should be shown since it's such a stark reality and depressing but it is a real depiction so we can have all sorts of stuff. no this isnt WKW level or moonlight level but i know for a fact these people think they are doing something because artists always do i say this as one and someone who is equally as useless. you're making a statement.

i also hate the westerner component of peoples analyses. first of all dont do cultural relativism. we can critique and respect. but second of all how are we going to keep saying "dont put western ideals on this" when that is what is happening anyway because that's part and parcel for soft power and capitalism. how about taiwan's history with the KMT? what about the regimes young people fought about? aided by US imperialism which permeates through society and affects material conditions, views, democracy, identity and that goes into culture and media. hm? what about that? is that reality too fucking western for people? that we are doing the same thing again now? is that okay to talk about or is that only on your time?

then there's the argument that this is just entertainment. yea no shit but the thing is if we r gonna talk about marginalized groups and watch bc of marginalized groups and then be expected to identify then i dont see why i cant put this in context. even if it wasnt fucking serious we'd still judge it. but it's so pompous and again like i wouldnt say EYE think it's art but it is "art" in the literal sense and no self respecting artist would ever go "man this means nothing." of course im not sure if they do respect themselves so hey but u cant just go oh man it's entertainment when it literally rests on the fact that HOMOS are MARGINALIZED. it literally rests on the fact that WOMEN ARE OBJECTS. you either want progress or you dont. i dont understand being so demanding but not beign specific in the demands and not trying to use your brain. if you dont want to use your brain don't. but if you are looking , engaging, and keep making these arguments or telling ppl it doesnt matter whilst complaining about how much others care is hypocritical at best, willfully obtuse at worst. both bad. :)

(also all this + another thing; it is insulting to have this like wedding happen based off of this stupid relationship when people fought so hard and had to push it. now they can use the material conditions to their advantage but it's so ridiculous. also because there is difficulty still in getting married in taiwan i'm honestly like....the boldness of the writers...)

[botanyshitposts]

what if i left my finger on a sundew for like a REALLY long time? would it be able digest my finger? can they do that? i did i quick google search and didnt find an answer so feel free to ignore this ask if you have to put any effort into it cause i didnt put much effort into finding the answer, but if you happen to know like off the top of your head and it isn't a bother then like yeah what would happen to my finger?

oh fucking boy are you into a treat bc u bet ur ass i know the answer to this and its not pretty like tw: the answer to carnivorous plants eating human flesh

okay, so in the carnivorous plant community there’s this botanist named barry rice. rice is a pretty significant figure, and has written some books, is the editor of the ICPS’ quarterly newsletter, has contributed to a considerable amount of research, and is overall a pretty respectable dude who still studies carnivorous plants and does lectures and stuff. he also runs a website called sarracenia.com, where he answers a lot of carnivorous plant questions ranging from simple care ones to advanced info. 

back in 2005, Rice got athlete’s foot. he got like. really, really bad athlete’s foot, and when he finally got meds to get it under control, some dead skin had started peeling off. like, sizable chunks of flesh. so he did the reasonable thing and decided to test this to see if his venus fly traps would eat them. 

now, venus fly traps can’t eat anything that doesn’t move- the stimulation of the struggling organism retriggers the hairs inside the traps to confirm to the plant that it’s snapped onto something, and the more movement it makes, the harder the plant seals the vacuum and the more digestive fluids are released. such is life. so Rice added small earwigs to 2 of the 4 samples (samples 2 and 3) to simulate movement (but all 4 ended up eating the samples regardless). being a scientist, he also scanned in the chunks pre-being eaten, and fed the chunks to not just one venus fly trap, but to a normal venus flytrap plus three other different varieties. he then waited. he assumed that the plants wouldn’t be able to eat the skin, as he assumed that it would be too hard for them to eat (skin callouses + his resident fungal ordeal). 

when the traps finished digesting and opened a few weeks later, rice collected the carnage, scanned them in, and posted about his experiment on his website. what he found was that not only did the plants eat almost all of his toe chunks (i would estimate about 95% based on the images), but they also rejected some parts, which they had sucked all digestible nutrients out of. we see this kind of skeletonization in small animals that fall into carnivorous nepenthes pitchers, but it takes several months of them sitting in there to become fully digested, and in rice’s case, there wasn’t even any bones involved and it took comparatively significantly less time to do so. he then compared all four of them to their pre-digestion counterparts. 

now, i won’t put the full on image of the before and after carnage in this post to protect the innocent, but for those interested, here’s the photo of the pre and post digested toe chunks. the “A” samples are before they went in, and the corresponding “B” samples are when they came out. 

this is pretty interesting, because from what I can tell with my limited knowledge of human biology, it looks like the plants chose to eat away almost all the cartilage?? rice couldn’t seem to make any sense of the color change; to me it seems like they almost rejected any and all blood present in the skin capillaries (how much blood is in any part of ur body at once?? isn’t that like, a thing, where like there’s a small amount of blood touching all ur cells always?? did the plant just condense all of the trace amounts in those chunks and reject it??) but to me, that doesn’t make much sense; isn’t blood a pretty easily easily digested thing? like if you’re not an animal, you would think that that would be a pretty sweet and easy source of protein and stuff. Why would they reject that??

my other hypothesis on looking at that is that it rejected the super diseased portions. or maybe the toughest parts. maybe if it hadn’t finished its natural time-mediated cycle of digestion so soon, it would have finished digesting what was left over. maybe it had undesirable nutrients, or whatever reacted with the weak acid in the plants to produce a chemically indigestible product. idk, this is honestly an experiment i’d like to see replicated on a professional level, preferably with a pre and post examination of the chemical composition of the flesh, you know? and this doesnt even get into the differences in how the different varieties of venus fly trap ate the chunks; the first cultivar, a garden variety wild type, seemed to make the most dent in it, but also didn’t have a bug added. that being said, sample 4 also didn’t have a bug added, and had a similar digestion level to plants 2 and 3; this confirms for us that what was left over by the plants was, indeed, undigested toe chunk specifically. so why did the first variety eat the most? did it have a longer digestion period, or a stronger acid (being an unbred variety), or maybe it’s toe chunk had less of- uh, whatever the plants didn’t like? 

i wish barry had included a chart of other aspects of the plants, like their age and the size/number of the traps and stuff, and information on the cultivars, the last time they had been fed, maybe an analysis of the digestive fluid of each, etc. basically a scientific paper. yeah, i wish rice had made this into a proper scientific paper.

so anyway. I’m not sure what would happen with sundews, as those are a distinctly different plant, but a similar mechanism would be needed; you would need to wiggle your finger occasionally to keep the plant convinced that it hadn’t made a mistake. it would probably take weeks, or months, but eventually it would either 1. eat what it could wrap itself around to the bone or 2. make at least a dent in the digestible meat of your finger. eventually it would stop eating and unravel, wether it was digested or not, because these are active traps we’re dealing with. maybe it would spit out/eat around parts that it didn’t like in the process. idk man if i ever actually come across the means to test this i promise i will report here on this blog first

rip botanist barry rice’s toe chunks 2005-2005

[grinnoire]

in an effort to obliterate prototype 2 from my mind here's a list of hcs for a dana-is-fine-now 5yrs later self-indulgent au

alex, dana, and ragland moved to canada via some -cough- slightly illegal maneuvers, so blackwatch can't move in on them even when they find alex again at risk of causing an international incident

(basically canada is like "hes been here for 5 years and its been fine, also if youre gonna provoke THAT then do it on US soil bc we know what happened to manhattan and do NOT want a repeat in toronto (also, cranky bc your bioweapon is ours now arent you)")

(everyone thinks ragland died after contact with ZEUS but he's fine and lives down the street.)

so mostly blackwatch just spies on the gang as they get up to dumb slice-of-life stuff

alex got a bachelor's in psychology (doing one of the "hard" sciences would feel like too much of a repeat and he's soul-searching) and now has a job as a forensic psychologist. mostly he's everyone's paperwork jockey because he doesn't complain when they dump theirs on him, but sometimes he gets to decide who gets to sit on jury duty. this drives blackwatch absolutely nuts

dana is working as an editor for a local magazine. she still keeps up with news journalism on her free time, but she’s decided to take it easy after everything that happened and the job pays pretty well.

dana has more or less come to terms with virus brother, mostly because every other week he goes on some dark and broody rant about being a monster/hearing the screams of those he's killed/his innate desire as a virus to kill consume assimilate infect, and you kinda just get used to it after a while

alex got a deal with a local slaughterhouse to buy some of their stock from them, since he likes his meat so raw it's still mooing. literally. they are convinced he's either a butcher or a cultist but you know what, that's his business

dana starts referring to the real alex mercer as just "my big brother," and not by name. similarly, she usually calls alex by name, but she also refers to him as her little brother, and when joking in private, her baby brother (he is five and she will never not find that funny)

she also really does think of him as a kid, and notes that one of the most divergent traits he has from the real alex (besides empathy) is how easily he trusts people (she jokes that she worries he'll get lured out into a white van behind the mall with promises of meat). he's also super dramatic about EVERYTHING, so her impression of him has slowly morphed from "scary semi-insane virus man but still a step up from my actual brother" to "haha, kid brother who sucks at smash bros"

since alex doesnt sleep, he usually whiles away the nighttime hours by hunting (he's got a permit and everything, at dana's insistence) or playing video games

he's REALLY GOOD at rhythm games but plays with the sound off ("it's distracting, dana" "it's The Point Of The Game, alex") and he's shit at fighting games ("have you ever considered NOT charging blindly in on me clearly about to unleash an ultimate").

he's also not great at puzzle games and dana has caught him melted into a pile of meat moss over professor layton before. this is in spite of his constant claims to have consumed some of gentek's most brilliant minds, so it only further cemented dana's "kid brother" impression

alex: i dont have a preference for toppings so i get everything on it since i dont eat with my mouth anyways. thousands of dead men's preferences means no preferences -later, after dana has forced him to try things using taste buds- alex: can i get a large pineapple and anchovy pizza with alfredo sauce instead of tomato the guy at domino's: im arresting you for pizza crimes

an argument they constantly rehash is that dana insists that alex should try shopping for real clothes while alex insists he can just shapeshift into whatever clothes he wants. this has, on one occasion, led to neighbors in the hallway overhearing alex yelling angrily that "IM ALWAYS NAKED, DANA"

dana is a big lesbian and kicks alex out of the apartment when she's got "friends" over. they both know what dana's up to but dana insists that her five-year-old brother "will understand when he gets older" when he complains about it

most people that know alex thinks he has no sense of humor. this is untrue. he just has a very limited one and very dull reactions. but one time dana showed him this

and he let out an involuntary snort/giggle and then looked very confused and kind of scared, like he had no idea what that sound was or where it came from

most people believe alex’s brows drawn, eyes narrowed glare means he’s angry, but dana knows that that’s actually his “i’m confused” look. this is also the look alex wears 70-80% of the time.

(his actual “i’m angry” look is brows drawn, eyes wide open)

alex has a tendency to blurt out random factoids, like a walking trivia book. these facts are ALWAYS morbid and he ALWAYS only realizes that after he’s said it out loud. dana goes “i think i’m coming down with a flu that’s been going around work” and alex goes “huh, you know flus cause 200,000 hospitalization and 3,000 deaths every year” and dana gives him a Look and he pauses for a long moment before adding in a “sorry”. dana actually thinks this habit might be a leftover from how OG alex mercer liked to mansplain, but when this alex does it it’s less insufferable and more just awkward, so she doesn’t mind it that much

“butterflies can taste with their feet. I can also do that, if i try.”  “awesome, alex”

they have separate rooms since they both make a decent amount and live a ways out from the big city, and dana’s looks pretty normal, slightly messy, and alex’s is, hm. dana keeps insisting he try decorating it and actually putting stuff in it, so it’s home to his attempt at interior decor. the room features: a bookshelf crammed full of old textbooks and basically anything remotely novel-like that he could buy from the clearance rack, 2 (two) whole deer skeletons, picked entirely clean, a large, stainless-steel industrial-grade refrigerator/freezer unit (full of huge slabs of meat), the world’s loneliest computer desk and chair, a moldy cantaloupe in a glass box on the windowsill (”alex what is that” “i’m growing penicillin” “...why?”), a tiny photo of him and dana in a really big frame hanging on the wall, and also framed, dana’s MRI scans showing that she suffered no lasting effects from the infection. dana has had her partners accidentally walk into that room instead of hers and then call the cops. she kinda wants to say something to him about it, but since one of alex’s most common broody speech topics is how he doesn’t feel like he has a personality of his own, and since what he does have in his room certainly shows...”personality,” she figures she’ll leave it alone.

whenever a coworker starts to get friendly with him, alex pulls them aside to let them know he’s actually the blacklight virus that ravaged manhattan. he doesn’t actually use his powers because frankly it takes more energy than his current dietary plan can make back, but he insists until the coworker goes “haha okay, okay, i got it.” no one actually believes him but alex is convinced they all do, and dana has never been around for this to correct his mistake

[go-diane-winchester]

How did J2 feel about Misha misbehaving with Jared on stage?

One of my awesome doll faces sent me this interesting question about the above gif:

Thought you might find this interesting. This is probably the first thing that gave me a very bad vibe about Misha. The first part is what I’m talking about, how Misha behaved and then Jensen. Misha is just so gross and completely violates Jared and makes both of J2 uncomfortable and Jensen especially just looks upset. I thought he was actually going to walk off stage. Watch the video, it’s very cringy and made me actually upset. Let me know what you think.

Thank you to doll face, for that ever-so-awesome question which I had to crop slightly.  Apologies for that.  Now, remember, I am not a shipper.  I am a slash fiction fan [there is a difference] so I will not let me sexual fantasies govern how I interpret this. 

For those five sad creatures in fandom who still haven't seen the footage, what have you been doing, hunny?  I am helpfully providing a link here.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9IqeQ8vSiDQ

So they were all signing shirts to be auctioned off for charity.  Misha chose to sign Jared, doggy-style.  SMH.  Jared takes the time to do a spot of cleaning because he had thrown candy wrappers all over the floor.  He blushes and laughs when he stands up to his full height.  If you look at the footage, Jensen looks away, very scandalized.  He even shoots out of his chair and goes to the farthest part of the stage, the minute Jared approached him.  When Jensen gets back, he still keeps his distance from both Jared and Misha and says [although the audio is not totally clear] ''I don't want to be a part of this''.  Even as the auctioning starts, Jensen hovers around the stage uncomfortably, before giving up and perching himself on the seat farthest away from the other two.  Now for the analysis.

Misha

Misha is attracted to none of the men on that stage.  He is not gay.  He is a straight, sexual deviant.  He likes females, young and stupid being his preference, hence his wacky fan base.  However, what ever he does on stage is communication for his fans.  Misha calculates his moves with his fans.  He wants to arouse a bunch of them simultaneously without doing it manually, if you understand what I mean.  So throwing inappropriate shipping nonsense like this, out there [kid friendly audience or not] is one way he does it.  He also wants to communicate that he is the Alpha.  If he is on stage with someone, he wants sexual power over them.  That is why usually he doesn't prefer people like Jared and Sebastian, because they are not fazed by his antics and are also sexually outspoken.  He doesnt even want Robbie, because when he kissed Rob once, on the mouth, Rob just kissed him back.  Even at this moment, Jared blushed but didn't scurry away from Misha's grasp.  That is why he plopped himself back into his seat afterwards.  He didn't expect Jared to just laugh about it.  Jensen's reaction is probably why he chooses Jensen.  Jensen gets uncomfortable and that gives him power.  That is why his fans consider him to be the Alpha is the Jensen/Misha pairing.  He puts himself in that position. 

There is a scene where Casifer is speaking to all the fledgling angels who are petrified of their demonic older brother.  That is the closest Misha came to playing a character similar to his own because he really went all out for it.  At one point, he very nonchalantly straddles one of the kids.  And that poor kid is so uncomfortable that he almost never raises his eyes to make eye contact with Misha.  That was not scripted.  Misha told nobody he was going to do that.  That includes the kid he was straddling.  And the discomfort shows on the poor kid's face.  Then Misha gets up and ruffles the lapel on a blond kid's coat.  And for a split second, you see dread in the kid's eyes, the minute Misha touches him.  When another actor says ''evil incarnate'', and Misha approaches him, the kid flinches backwards as if petrified that Misha is going to straddle him or something similar.  Misha was in his element.  He loves that.  Notice how there is no gag reel for this scene.  Nobody was having fun.  Nobody laughed.  The straddling was done once and the cast didn't react.  So the scene when on. 

There's the link for anyone who hasn't seen it, or who had blocked it out of their memory.  The hellers were gushing over it.  Misha is so ''gay and funny''.  SMH.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0zIgwK28E5k

In his TSA short movie, Just Relax [which he co-penned], he put himself in a position of sexual power over the actor who was supposed to be Jensen's stand-in.  In the gas station scene where Cas went to buy pie for Dean, grabbing the kid at the counter was not in the script.  The kid was not notified of Misha's plans, so his reaction is authentic.  Misha really likes doing that a lot.  See, what I mean by sexual power. 

Jared

Jared is also straight, but unlike Jensen, he is less shy about his body, touching and being touched.  I hate when people use the words ''sexually comfortable'', because it automatically gives foolish people the impression that anyone who is opposite to that is prejudiced.  No, they are not.  They just don't want anyone to touch them unless there is some familiarity, thank you very much.  Jared also engages his fans, from a slash point of view.  But there is a difference between him and Misha.  Look at the gif.  Jared stumbled ever so slightly while Misha was bending him over.  That means that Jared was not made aware of what Misha was going to do.  This goes back to Misha and his need for sexual power.  He wanted to take Jared by surprise, so he was controlling the situation. 

Notice, that Misha hasn't really done that again since.  Because no matter what, Misha is a straight man, and he is afraid Jared will take that as a cue to ''make the next move''.  Never dare Jared Padalecki.  Misha doesn't want that.  Remember, the gag reel in a previous season, where Jared grabbed Misha and pretended to kiss him.  And Misha screamed his annoying signature high-pitched voice.  I cant stand that sound.  That is what Misha doesn't want.  He doesn't want a tall, broad guy like Jared having that kind of power over him.  He wants to be the Alpha.  Remember Honocon, when Jared was speaking like Mark S and caressing Misha.  Go watch it again.  Misha got uncomfortable.  He doesn't have sexual power over Jared and he knows it.  

Another difference between Jared and Misha is that Misha takes liberties with other people's bodies whether he is familiar with them or not.  Jared has common sense.  He plays pranks on his co-workers, sure.  But he doesn't make them uncomfortable to the point where they don't make eye contact.  Take the tattoo scene with Alex.  In the gag reel, he is seductively caressing a grinning Alex's chest before Jensen gigglesnorts and triggers a laugh attack from the younger actor.  Alex, until that point, has known Jared for about two weeks [unless you count promo work during hiatus] and is comfortable with him.  He is not flinching during the whole scene.  He is just laughing and blushing.  Side note:  Alex has an adorable laugh.  Before using a gag reel, SPN editors ask an actor's permission to use a gag clip.  Alex said yes.  Jared made him laugh.  He didn't make Alex feel uncomfortable. 

Unlike Misha, Jared doesn't force people to think he has sexual power.  He sort of just does.  The only thing that bothers him, is that pesky depression.  I find it insulting when people think Jared is physically and sexually weak because of depression.  Shame on you.  But other than that, sexually Jared is not a man you want to dare.  He shares his body generously, especially if he knows you.  One thing to note here, is that Jared doesn't sexually cross boundaries with Jensen, whom he loves the most from all his co-stars.  Well, not in public anyway.  According to BuddyTV, whilst rehearsing an argument scene between Dean and Sam, during Season 2, both Js suddenly stopped and started leaning in, very seductively, to kiss each other.  The director yelled cut and told the giggling scoundrels to ''do it properly this time''.  So why did Jensen get so angry when Misha bent Jared over on stage? 

Jensen

If I guess correctly, Jensen is exactly like me.  Remember, the Vancon where Richard was not available to MC the event and the Wayward whatevers took over?  Remember their sexual display in front of Jared, Jensen and Rob?  I hated that sequence.  That is one of my favorite cons, because of Jared and that cardboard cutout, amongst other things.  So I always re-watch it and I always skip that bit.  I don't want to see that.  Two reason why.  First, Kim and Brianna overdid it.  The joke carried on for too long especially with children in the audience.  Second, I am a straight woman.  Their display neither aroused me or interested him.  I watch porn.  I watch gay and straight porn but the men have to be beautiful.  I am not going to sin with ugly men, thank you very much.  I don't watch girl on girl.  I don't like it.  And to have an exhibitionist do that right in front of my face, will tick me right off. 

Jensen got irritated because he doesn't need to see that expletive right in front of his face, and in a public setting no less.  When he realized that Jared was not at fault, he signed his autograph over Jared's chest with a smile.  After all, Misha took the choice out of Jared's hands.  But Misha didn't get that courtesy.  Jensen constantly reminds Misha [and his hellers in fact] that ''this is a family show''.  Even Jared respects that rule and keeps his humor playful and without swearwords.  I noticed that with the Wayward whatevers Jensen just acknowledged that they were ''different'', he involuntarily enjoyed it [he is a straight man after all] but he didn't appreciate the display in that type of setting, because they were in public.  Jared seemed a little more uncomfortable with their display, ducking his head and turning away from them.  I think Jensen was able to school his facial features more than Jared, but both disapproved to a certain extent.  They are married men after all.  If Misha was there, he would have joined it. 

Jensen is just like me sexually.  He is not a prude, he appreciates slash fiction for exactly what it is, but he doesn't like vulgarity and exhibitionism.  He does make dirty penis jokes with Jared, but they are not so over-the-top that you regret attending the con with a younger person.  Jensen is more shy that Jared is, especially around strangers.  Jensen is known for keeping his private life private [well he used to], which is why he cringed when Danneel said ''this is where the magic happens.'' when referring to their bedroom.  That is not a part of his life he wants to share with fans because unlike Misha, Jensen is actually a gentleman.  Jensen is not trying to be an Alpha.  His body language and baritone voice betrays him.  I think Jensen actually tries to be a big brother or nurturer to other people.  The Alpha thing is sort of accidental, just like with Jared. 

Like me, Jensen doesn't like to strip down in front of cameras.  Jensen, just like me, can be very provocative with the right person.  He once took a ripped shirt photo with Jared and Sebastian.  They was trying to make deep cleavage shirts.  The deep cleavage idea belongs to Jensen.  He will never do that on stage though because he doesn't want the cons to go from family shows to something vulgar.  Jensen, like me, doesn't want to be crass and use cuss words during conversations.  If he is asked to speak about sex, I think he will speak about it very intelligently, without making it childish [like Jared would] or filthy [like Misha would].  Jensen was extremely succinct and accurate whilst discussing wincest.  It shows that he not only understands sex but also women and how the mind of a woman works.   

I hope this answered your question sweetie.  If anyone disagrees, kindly let me know.  After all, it is just an opinion.  Sincere apologies for this long post.

[iceamericanoventi]

Love Will Find a Way, Well, Eventually : 2. In Between

“Where are you going?”

If it was inside Cartoon Network’s universe, everyone must be able to see the smoke fuming from both his nostrils and ears. Jinki looks beyond distressed when he’s lifting his ass from the chair. No one on the table was his partner, but Minho decided to throw some ridiculous question then played dumb as if he didn’t just ask one.

“Should I have number one here?”

He started getting irked, but that doesn’t stay long until Kibum casually munched his breadstick while spluttering his witty comments as usual, “Surely Taemin would be delightful.”

Taemin who didn’t do anything almost chocked himself with a piece of tomato and kicked Kibum’s shin under the table, eventually.

“Promise me you won’t run away?”

Dumbfounded, Jinki emptied his pocket and almost smashed the table with his belonging.

“Are you my husband? Here’s my wallet. And my phone!” and with that, he left the other three men finishing their meal.

“Is he always in this temper?”

Lee Taemin gave him another look, pleading him not to embarrass them further, but Kibum just shrugged and muttered ‘I’m just asking’ under his nose.

“He was mad with me since this afternoon. Plus, he has lots of stuffs to think about these days. But don’t worry, he never really got mad unless you disturb his nap.”

“What is he? A bear?”

“Yaa! Kim Kibum!”

Minho couldn’t help but laugh to the scene happened before his eyes. Taemin is famous for being friendly and very expressive only if you know him, even if he’s talkative. To penetrate his bubble is very hard at first, but this man sitting across him, he seems like he’s already inside that bubble since the very beginning. He really is someone closed to him. Kibum looks mesmerizing, even in his grumbling nature. The oversize sweater wrapped his lithe build perfectly.

A phone call arrived to Kibum's phone, he picked it up frantically and excused himself to take it outside.

"What do you think?"

“Eh?” Minho doesn’t even realized he got his eyes entailed Kibum’s silhouette until it disappear by the entrance door.

“You seemed in trance. I know Kibum is beautiful but I didn’t expect you’ll be this amazed with my friend,” Taemin’s sipping his wine, a smirk is very apparent in his devious face. 

“I guess it’s safe to say that you’re not a liar.”

Minho reopened his mouth few minutes after he’s assured that Kibum’s not going back any soon. Taemin is not ecstatic, sometimes he wondered if Minho has a decent sense of humor of a friend.

“For your information, I’m not and never been. I’m the most honest person you’ve ever encountered in your life.”

“Everyone in this room knows that’s not true.”

“Whatever. I might know my ways deceiving people, but I never lie to my friend.”

 “Did you just admit that you’re lying here and there, Lee Taemin?”

Taemin rolls his eyes, again, probably for the nth times already this evening. Without Jinki around, he can be more relaxed on throwing his tantrum on Minho.

“Choi Minho, people lies at some certain points of their life. Get over it.”

He gulped down the rest of his wine, Taemin then called a waiter near them to bring him another one.

“Kibum seems nice. He sounds smart.”

“Sounds? Did you even listen to yourself? No writer is not smart, Choi. Moreover, someone who’s been writing the past decade!”

“I only know him for one night. Who knows he’s just acting?”

“Dude, not everyone is an asshole like you.”

“An asshole wouldn’t agree to bring his best friend along in front of a psychopath like you.”

Taemin snorted and Minho’s smirk reappeared on his face.

“That is literally what a psycho would do, selling their friend for their own benefits.”

Minho wiped his mouth before washed down the dinner with cold water, “And that’s exactly what Jinki accused me for. You two shared a brain or what?”

“Any sane people would say the same, Honey,” this time Taemin’s smirk that made the other scoffed, “By the way, what’s the deal with Jinki? He looks like he’s been sitting on thorny cushion the whole dinner!”

Minho knows Taemin would ask such question eventually. However, he couldn’t say that Jinki hates the whole dinner date plan, it’s impossible. Besides that, knowing him for years, Jinki really is an angel in disguise, well, at least when he’s in the mood.

“People have different, what should I say, defense mechanism? And that’s how he is. What kind of person who talked nonstop during their first meeting, anyway?”

“Oh, I don’t know, me?”

“That’s why you’re a freak.”

“A freak who introduced you to your potentially next boyfriend.”

“Ha. Point taken,” Minho raised his hand to ask for the dessert, “Jinki is just not the type of person who will talk a lot and open up in a second. But I guarantee you, he’s a good person. Sometimes a little bit care too much for other at certain time so probably being brazen is his forte.”

“That reminds me of someone.”

Taemin and Kibum spent their high school days together. Separated for some years due to works and educations, their relationship’s all well maintained. They understand each other, including Kibum’s nature to always put others before him at any given situation.

“Appearance wise, though, what do you think about Jinki?”

“Choi Minho, I’m not a teenager anymore. Judging people around by its cover is no longer my habit.”

“But a designer like you must love a beautiful package, don’t they?”

“Well, to be honest, his lips and eyes itself could get me floored in one glance.”

“I knew it.”

“You’re a famous photographer for a reason.”

***

Cold wind slapped Kibum’s cheeks lightly when he pushed the door and parched to the corner near the valet post.

“Okay, now you can speak. Sorry, I don’t know why the reception wasn’t good enough inside.”

“Then I’ll be frankly here. There’s a possibility for making the special edition for the short story collection. But then, we’re still short of two stories at the moment.”

“Wait, wait, but we already have nine! I finished writing nine! Why should I add another two?”

“The publisher agreed to the preposition for at least twelve stories. You should be grateful I could pitch one less story!”

Kibum looks like he’s about to punch anyone passed within radius one meter around him, but nothing in reach besides a huge pot of short palm tree and concrete wall. And he needs his hand to finish his books still.

“But, Amber. Page wise, those are more than enough to make two new books. Are they out of their mind?”

There’s a loud groan banging on his ear drum came from the other line, “Dude, I almost flipped the table when I was at the meeting you have no idea. The board has new man and that guy is a pain in the ass.”

“Would it change the circumstance if I talked to them by myself?”

“Since when do they have time to talk to the writer directly? We’re head to head with bunch of snobs here, did you forget?”

“I should had not agree to let them touched my writings. Now we’re about to face dead end.”

It was a dream to work along this publisher. It was Kibum’s dream since he started writing when he took gap year after graduated high school. And as if it’s a fate, it was the only publisher agreed with his graphic novel concept five years he climbed his career professionally.

“Listen, Kibum. When I met you years ago, I promised I’ll work my ass hard to help you publishing your books. Not because I knew you, it’s because you’re good. You’re amazing writer and I’m not giving up easily. And neither you. Not when anybody can tell that you’re a gem.”

“I haven’t written any book since last year, Amber. I’m in a slump. Writer’s block is not even describing my bad luck at the moment.”

“Honey, you haven’t written any because you’re currently waiting two books released. And if I could do my magic, another one in, let’s say, six months.”

“If I could make up some words into another story within two weeks. If you could convince them to give me mercy.”

“Did you just know me yesterday?”

Kibum’s tired giving sane response, “What do you mean?”

“I’m waiting their secretary to call me in ten minutes. We’re going to discuss some new deals and I’ll make sure one of them is going to be your new nine stories book.”

“I actually have no idea if I don’t have you as my editor slash manager slash friend slash personal ranting partner slash whatever you want to be.”

“Rockstar. That would be cool.”

“You’re going to be a kick ass one to be honest.”

“I bet. Anyway, expect another call from me in the next couple hours. I’m sorry, but tonight we might need video call to resolve some issues.”

“I hate you for confiscating my time but you’re the best.”

“As always, ain’t I?”

The phone call ends already, but he still forlornly looking at his phone’s screen. With that, Kibum remembers all the works he needs to catch up for tonight. With that, he can put aside all the unnecessary anxiety and tension of tonight’s stupid match making session.

He took a glance of his watch and could only sighed, he better hurried inside to his dessert. The faster he finished, the sooner he can hit home and face the real deal. His deadlines.

Two steps away from the entrance however, he caught a familiar face sitting by themselves, staring to the busy street in front of the restaurant.

“Jinki?” he carefully calling the man, “Lee Jinki, right?”

The later tilted his head to the right and gave Kibum a simple smile, didn’t realize it dropped Kibum’s heart by the bottom of his gut.

“Aren’t you cold?”

Everyone would agree this winter is even harsher than last year’s. Jinki just lifted his left hand to make sure Kibum saw a cigarette slipped between his fingers, “Can I sit here?”

Jinki chuckles, “Aren’t you cold?”

Listening to the same question he threw a minute ago, he just rolled his eyes and took a place next to the other man.

“I’m waiting a phone call.”

“Important?”

“Kinda.”

Jinki blew some smoke out, “Hmm, I guess so. You sounded pretty upset over there.”

“Did I scream that loud?!”

“In my opinion? No. but a girl flinched and buzzed off rather hastily, so, you tell me.”

When he saw Kibum’s gaping like a fish in frantic expression, Jinki has no choices beside laughed again, surprising Kibum who’s quite convinced with his aloof personalities.

“I didn’t know you have so many jokes in store.”

“You learn something new every day.”

“Your face doesn’t show.”

“What about my face?”

“It’s handsome but with that attitude inside, seems like you’re the type who woke up at the wrong side of the bed every single morning and could kill someone annoys you at any time.”

“Well, to be fair, I did wake up in the wrong side of my bed this morning. But it’s because a certain dog occupied half of my blanket so I couldn’t disturb her.”

“You have a dog?!”

Kibum’s face lit up thousand times as if he just won some lottery. Strangely, it warms Jinki’s heart. No, scratch that, it would warm any heart, Jinki tried to generalize the situation.

“I don’t, unfortunately. She belongs to my friend. I’m taking care of her while he’s travelling abroad. Her father will pick her up this weekend.”

“Ah, too bad. We could have play date with my boys.”

“I’ll make sure to give you a call when I decided to adopt one later.”

“Do you think my invitation hasn’t expired yet by that time?”

“A man can only dream, can’t he?”

Kibum’s laughter is muffled by his own palm covering his mouth.

“Let’s go inside, you must be shivering.”

“But your cigarette?”

Kibum’s half stuttered caught red handed, Jinki already pressed the half-done cigarette on the sand bowl on his left, “I can always have another one at home. Besides, I doubt you would go inside without me dragging you along.”

Kibum thanked the universe that the place is not well lit, so he could hide the blush creeping his cheeks. Unfortunately, Jinki has a very good eye sight.

***

“Is my baby being a good girl when daddy’s away?”

Jinki scoffed when the man just entered his living room just literally threw his suitcase aside and scooped the little dachshund running toward his embrace. He gathered the suitcase and poor leather bag on the floor and placed it neatly near the saffron color couch.

The man later dropped himself next to Jinki who’s lounged himself there, checking his phone halfheartedly.

“Minho texted me the other day.”

“Why did he keep texting you?”

The man with dark grey hair didn’t catch the frown hanging on Jinki’s face and buried his face to the dog’s belly, making him groaned again. He lightly pushed the dog further and toppled his head on the other man’s laps.

The dog owner realized something’s happened when he’s not around. He put the dog on the ground and tapped her butt to send her back to her small bed near the pantry.

“Minho has my number and I have his name in my contact list. He can text me whenever he wants. Still jealous?”

Jinki closed his eyes when he started playing with his hair, “He’s still one of the reasons we broke up.”

“Baby, the only reason we broke up is because neither of us didn’t want to succumb into marriage. Minho was just a handsome face happened on the wrong time.”

“I have no idea why I still befriend him when it’s clear he wanted to shove his face to yours, all the damn time.”

“And I have no idea that you’re this type who holds the grudge for a long time. We were already out of relationship back then.”

“Still, a friend wouldn’t openly chase after their friend’s ex.”

“A friend wouldn’t, but a best friend would.”

“Whatever.”

He almost lost his control and slapped Jinki’s head of him, “Oh, come on. What’s bothering you this time?”

“Nothing.”

“Bullshit. It’s written all over your face the second I saw you behind the door. And I’m pretty sure it’s not because my daughter misbehaved while I’m on my annual pediatric conference.”

Jinki sighed, nothing he could really hide it from the other man. Since they were in their almost five years relationship, since they became best friends around three years prior.

“Minho invited me for a dinner night.”

“Wow, fancy,” actually Minho already texted him about the dinner a bit, how he wanted to introduce Jinki to some acquaintance he has, “He gave up on me so he went for the only option?”

“For the record, your mom agreed that I’m way much sexier than you.”

“Three years ago, before your cheek bones buried under those mount of fluffy fat.”

“Said a man who came to me and straight ahead told me I looked cute after leaving a piece of paper with their number on my table.”

“I will put aside the fact that I love how romantic you’re for still remembering our first meeting but let’s back to the right path here because I don’t like the upset you. It’s fucking annoying.”

“He introduced me to someone, Jonghyun.”

He let out inaudible gasp and thanked the universe Jinki’s still closing his eyes. Otherwise, he would stop at once and avoided any discussion of the main reason which distressed his ex-boyfriend. Knowing the scenario before hands didn’t prevent him with the sheer pain graze him when it came from Jinki’s mouth himself.

“So? Isn’t that great? Do you think it’s about time?”

“I was about to argue that two years are still not enough to get over you but I guess you’re not in the same page with me so I’d say that I’m not interested into some relationship whatsoever at this point.”

Jonghyun wanted to cry listening to such words. His heart clenched, he inhaled – a very long one – before he continued caressing Jinki’s forehead.

“I am flattered, but I know you’re just teasing me.”

“Ha, you know me so well.”

“I’m not gonna fall on the same hole, Lee.”

“You won’t. You’re too smart to repeat the torture on the loop.”

“It wasn’t a torture, Jinki. I love you as much as you do. Or maybe just slightly more.”

“Not a chance. I love you more.”

“Stop it or I will kiss you.”

“I dare you.”

“I told you I’m not gonna fall on the same hole.”

“Smart, very smart,” Jinki opened his eyes only to find Jonghyun sticking his tongue out, “Okay, so at first, I don’t like the idea already. You know I hate any type of match making method. Even the online one. But being there, I realized that my current focus doesn’t involved other party besides me, my business, and—“

“And your grandfather?”

Jinki looks annoyed, “Remind me to add ‘always-cutting-people-sentence’ on the list of reasons why I broke up with you when I’m writing my journal tonight.”

“It’s true. I think he was also the cock blocker during our relationship back then.”

“Dude, we’re talking about my gramps. And to put him on the same category with Minho is beyond weird.”

“We already broke up when Minho made his move, for Pete’s sake!”

“Okay, okay! No need to raise your voice, you’re so scary when you’re angry.”

“Then don’t make me! Now, now, can you please be a normal human being so we can talk like adults for once?”

Jinki pulled himself from the couch to the pantry, snatching a pack of cigarette on the tea table before slipped one on the corner of his mouth.

“Can you not smoking inside?”

He snorted and padded to the direction of his balcony. It’s in the middle of winter but he doesn’t care a bit to the wind ready to slaughter his bones. If tomorrow the cold prevented him to leave the bed, then let it be. For once, he just wants to free his mind from the business.

“You need to remember that I can only treat patient on certain age,” Jonghyun followed few minutes after with a blanket he spread as wide as possible to cover both of them without feeling suffocated for standing too close.

“The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends people be under pediatric care up to the age of 21, though.”

“Did you just quote Wikipedia? And we’re not in fucking States! Above and beyond, shame on your wrinkles!”

“Rude.”

“You’re the rude one to your lungs!”

“Then tell me how to ease my mind without nicotine! Tell me how to forget all those troubled night and just sleep! Do you think it’s easy taking care of worrisome business and messy family without distraction?! Stop talking non sense if you do know how to save my days!”

Any word seems taboo once Jinki exploded. Both man just staring into the dark evening below Jinki’s unit. People paraded as quickly as possible on the street to fight the harsh weather. It’s not that late, but only few cars passed by. The dim light of the street lamp’s soothing the tense atmosphere in a way.

Jonghyun leaned closer to Jinki’s arm and rested his head on his shoulder.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t help you with that.”

“I’m sorry I yelled at you.” 

“You know that you can always talk to me right?”

“I’m tired bothering you. You already have a lot in your hands.”

“Besides my patients and Roo, there’s nothing really confiscated my time.”

Having someone like Jonghyun who would stand next to him, scold him then hug him right after, no matter how awful he behaved and treated the other man, Jinki every so often thinking what kind of good deeds he did in his previous life.

Jinki cocked his head, inhaling the trace of scent of Jonghyun’s favorite shampoo. Initially, he was about to kiss the top of his head, like he used to do when the other man leaned on him for whatever reason it was. He remember, though, the earlier period after their broke up – after settling their feelings for few months of course – the shorter man told him not to do that anymore because it was the doctor’s Achilles heel. So instead, he rubs his cheek over the thick hair, silently telling Jonghyun he’s sorry.

Some nights – especially right after that dinner date – he had thought, maybe one of the reason he reprimands Minho’s idea is just because he still has tiny hope that Jonghyun and him might had another chance in the future.

“From time to time, I was thinking that the more day passed, we’re closer to the image of friends with benefit.”

“Friends with benefit? Tsk,” Jonghyun slapped his forearm, “The only benefit I got from you is you’re the only perfect nanny for Roo when I’m away.”

“Those cups of coffee every single time you stopped by my shop?”

“Pfft. How stingy. I’m leaving.”

“Heartless.”

Jonghyun didn’t say anything more and returned inside to gather his things and called Roo. He desperately needs some hot shower. Somewhere inside him, he was expecting Jinki offering him to stay the night knowing how caring the man and the fact Jinki knows he bolted to the other’s apartment right away after landed.  

When Jinki handed him the leash, that hope vanished in second.

“What if later I really considered this person? Or any other person collided with me on the future?”

Jonghyun smiled, he looks tired, but very sincere, “Then good.”

“Because I’m not gonna bother you anymore?”

“No. Because you’ll have someone to share the happiness with.”

***

cross-posted in my AFF

[survivorkvaloya]

Episode #3: “I Wanna Start S#!t” - Chelsea

Honestly, Steffen, not much has happened for me in the first two episodes. We'll go over it really quick. I liked my original tribe of 5 with Jules, Liam, Christine, and Ryan. They were all awesome. My mentor, Colin, a fellow House of Shade alumni--also awesome. We won the flash game challenge (of the 5 competitors of my tribe, I scored 1 point which landed me in the middle of our tribe rankings). I bonded with Christine early. That could be something to hang onto. The following round was a crapshoot competition and we won that, too! On my new tribe, I like Lauren and Jack and I also have Christine there. I really wish there was more dirt or drama because I love writing lengthy confessionals, but things are just getting started here!

Alright. So I guess no one wants pleasant kind hearted lily around. They want mean angry bitter ass lily which I'm happy to give but they ain't gonna like it. I got an extra vote on this island thing that no one is gonna know about because fuck these bitches. I know I will need the upper hand later when the couples try to destroy the singles. When I get out of reflection island I'm gonna try to buddy up with Connor and ask him to be my new mentor. Jules I'm pissed. I wish I knew exactly what happened but I will try to get to the bottom of it and make sure all those losers pay. I hope you start feeling better too. I feel like I can't trust anyone after that but Jackson seems pretty genuine of not knowing or not being able to do anything. But, because of this HUGE betrayal everyone on that other tribe can fend for themselves. I'll be all nice nice yeah I'd love to work with you but nah. I ain't interested. Let's be clear here, I have no loyalties and I'm not playing some kind of loyal game. You cut my mentor ill cute you. BYE Andreas also told me about Jules getting voted out most likely before the vote which is cool. I appreciate that. But Nicholas Colin we ain't buddies. I'm rooting for a student to win but it ain't y'all. Tonight I will hopefully put together a board of what original tribes people were on their swap tribe and who their mentor is. I think this will help me get a better picture of what's going on. Also, being bitter as fuck only two days in? My aesthetic. 

Oh and also I miss the damn creative challenge? There better be more to come because I'm sad. I've never done a music video challenge this was my shot and these bitches took me out!!! What the HECKIE???? 

nothing's really happened imo. this main is slow. i want drama. nicholas said there's a majority cross tribe alliance. where's my invite? i wanna start shit. my goal is just to make merge so i can blow up, the best way "Trixsea" Steele knows how. :) :) :)

I know i killed this music video challenge, but Chelsea told me that me and only 3 others submitted anything and after re-reading the rules and seeing that its an extra 5 points for every appearance we could actually be fucked. It wouldn't be to big of a problem because honestly I like going to tribal and getting to vote people off, but I also know of the cross tribe majority alliance who supposedly has majority on our tribe right now. If we lose this I'll probably try to blow up and either shake that alliance up or go out in a blaze of chaotic glory.  

Im at tribal right now and I was getting a sick feeling that I was going to be the one voted out... But I always feel like that. I think that I am going to get my team together, Liam got a vote and if he wasn't sure if he wanted to work with me (even thought he said he wanted to) so yeah.... Me, Andreas, Colin, Liam, Ryan, Jackson... Then we have the numbers? yeah cus there is only nine of us rn. We could pull in Conner to make life really easy and to add a couple number just encase. If we do that then out of everyone we would have: Me and Liam, Colin and Brett, Ryan and Jackson, Andreas and... someone (-_- sorry) and then Conner who lost their student. Thats 9 people in a game with 18? maybe that  about half. I don't know what I'm talking about anymore but I do know that this needs to happen soon before I get bumped to the side... I do no like being a side bitch 

Ahhhh, I'm literally so in love with this challenge it was so much fun and Chelsea did such an amazing job editing it. If we don't win I'll be shocked...and scared. Lauren disappeared for a bit and didn't participate so like I'm a little...or a lot worried for her. As of right now I literally love this tribe. QuilLynn is super smart and I adore her, Willow and Chelsea are sweet and adorable and Brett is a gem. I guess the only person I haven't clicked with is Jack but for now everything's looking good and Im hoping we win the challenge :)

Whew, I'm so excited to have won immunity! The challenge was so much fun and now...its messy cause alliances are starting to form and QuilLynn told me about one that apparently me and Lauren are in? So I don't know if Lauren's making deals without me or what, but nobody's approached me specifically and I'm not in any chats so! I'm not sure what's going on and I don't like it. I think right now my #1 is QuilLynn. She's smart, sweet and very easy to talk to so I officially adore her and wanna protect her at all costs. I need to get things in order with Lauren cause I don't wanna get in the middle of some warfare we don't need to be in. 

We lost. Again. This is the worst. My tribe is cursed. Kinda. It's like a blessing in disguise for me tbh. I'm using this time to recover from last round and regroup. There's more talk of a majority alliance forming and I wanna make sure it happens so I can solidify my place in it. I think my number 1 ally has shifted from Nicholas to Jackson now. Jackson is literally my fave person in this game. He's so nice and fun to talk to, he's socially and strategically aware, and most importantly, he's really cute and nice to look at so! I still got that alliance with JD and Andreas but I am not really loyal to it. JD seems to playing messily and I've mentioned before Andreas seems too well connected for his own good. Anyway, onto this vote! Literally? The only thing I've heard? Is Connor? but....... that's all I've heard. Connor isn't putting out another name. No one else is putting out another name. And that's a recipe for paranoia in my mind. I wanna trust the majority that's been built, JD says Jackson and Ryan will be voting with us, and I trust them 10000% but I'm a paranoid hoe. 

my confessional game so far has been weak af so far like I literally forgot to write a confessional last round, so I guess I'll just do a quick recap. Essentially I have mixed feelings about my tribe bc there are 3 other people who I really like Chelsea, QuilLynn, and Gage. We ended up creating an alliance and QuilLynn titled it "arent you Klad I didn't say fjorden" which is iconic! Anyway that cookie challenge last round killed me but I'm glad I came up with the strategy to split 3 on 0, 3 on 9 and 3 in the middle. Lily was convinced that they weren't going to put all their cookies on one of our tribe mates so like I'm kinda glad I proved her wrong lmao idk. As for the people I have mixed feelings about Jack is okay I mean he usually replies but in PMs he can be kinda boring and give one word answers. Christine is really nice but she just doesnt reply a lot? maybe she just doesnt like small talk or something. Brett, I've heard really good things about him but he only replies when its about him lol, like if I ever start sharing one of my stories or whatever idk he just stops replying lol. Lauren, okay shes super cute but seems inactive. Anyway I was like super excited that we got to do the music video challenge this round, its always super fun even though what I make is always really awkward lmao. Anyway like 4 people from our tribe didnt submit, Jack was sick (so he says), Gage was moving which is alright, and Lauren (didn't say anything about why she didn't do it lol), and Chelsea was editing so its all good. Shes like a really good editor and our video turned out great so I'm glad we won even though we had like 4 people in the video compared to them having like 7. So then QuilLynn informs me that Chelsea told her that theres a majority alliance of like 8ish people?? like what the fuck thats about half the people here. So its Andreas-Jack, Colin-Brett, JD-Liam, and potentially Lauren-Christine. And there are a bunch of people we're unsure could be in the alliance. And then as Im hearing about the alliance I'm realizing that it consists of the people on my tribe who dont always reply to me lol or when they do are boring. And I mean I know im not the most interesting texter but these people are worse then me. So then I was talking to Ryan and asking him about his tribe and the reward and stuff to see if I could get any information about whether if hes in the majority or not without directly asking. So I was like whats was the idol clue reward this time and he told me about how it has to do with whoever gets the lowest score in the challenge, which sounds super complicated bc if someone with the lowest score doesnt have the clue then no one gets the idol. And he gave the clue to me, and I wanna give it to QuilLynn but we dont need too many people throwing the challenge and if one of our alliance members already has it then it should be alright, and it'll keep up my trust with Ryan since Im not supposed to give it to anyone so Im hoping its a win win. but he told me that I wasnt supposed to tell anyone about what the reward was but before he told me that I had already told my alliance bc I think I trust them more oops? but I think I want to trust Ryan. I told him that I heard rumors about a cross tribe majority alliance but thats all I knew, and he told me about a group of mentors and students talk about a potential alliance and they asked Danielle about it and she told Ryan she would try to get him in if she could. So then I tried talking to Danielle just making small talk or whatever and she only gave one word answers, which was fucking weird? Like some shit is clearly going on that I dont know about? I can already tell im becoming messy af which I wanted to not try to do as much as I did last season but maybe im just naturally a messy player and theres nothing I can do about it lol. Anyway I hope the majority isnt something I should worry about and I hope they self destruct somehow or Im just hoping that it doesnt exist at all and it was just a rumor made up to scare people or some shit. 

[lukewright12-blog]

FMP FINAL EVALUATION

For my final, I have made a film. This film after seven weeks I think still adheres to what I said I would do in my original project brief. The film itself is a short film that explores a possible ever lasting imprint new technology will have on this world more in particular the impact holograms could have in the communication centre as well the impact virtual reality could have on a humans mental being and how real it could fell to someone, given the circumstance. So the underlying story of my film is that a man wakes up in a blank room completely unaware of his new surroundings and tries to make sense of them, after becoming increasing stressed he drops to his knees and tries to calm himself why this is happening a hologram appears and greets him, they then conversate but the man becomes more so frustrated as she speaks in enigma and doesnt reveal to him whats going on. Eventually she confronts him and asks him why he killed his family, in complete denial and shock the man becomes emotional and frustrated, the hologram then turns hostile on him and once he has got to his peak of stress he is pulled out to discover he had woken up in VR, as part of an experiment for a VR police interrogation program.

In this unit I have made vast progress from point A when this was only an initial idea to point B where its now a film. I have gone across a whole journey of researching, experimenting, networking with film professionals and making to get to where I am now. Personally Im really happy I got this opportunity to do my own project and just ‘go for it as an inexperienced film maker and see what happens. On the other hand, did my final turn out how I wanted it to, well not even close, I made many errors during production due to both some errors I had had in pre-production as well as on set. In post is where I had the bulk of my issues as things wouldnt work, footage filmed wrong to do things to and I didnt have some essential footage I needed due to my battery dying a lot on set and my actors wanting to go home after a long day of filming. I then also had a massive problem in post with exporting, so the film is nothing like what I wanted it to turn out like and I think that could make it stray away from the brief a tad as its not as effective in portraying the story and message I wanted it to tell.

Methods as well as various platforms have been essential to this projects progression and my personal learning. So I really do credit the sketch book as my main source of development as it allows me freedoms to write and draw whatever I so please on the pages provided to let my mind run lose and develop my idea. I also think net working through Ravensbourne with the students in higher courses than me or who have been through these courses have helped with my idea development as hearing everyones thoughts is interesting and their ideas combine with what I can think up helps inspire new scenes and thoughts. The blog has been really useful as well in terms of only making my work better as reflecting on everything Ive done every day helps me to spot out things in which I have made an error in and see what needs to be done to improve my work next time. I have also found that surprisingly my weekly plan in my project proposal has helped me leaps and bounds as I have followed it religiously the past seven weeks and always reflected in my blog to check I was on schedule to meet the work in which I had set out for myself in the weekly plan. This has kept me more on target than ever and has made me think about the bigger picture more and about what is essential to the project. Keeping on track has helped me a lot with developing my project and being able to develop further if I distributed my time rightly.

In terms of targets met I managed to make a short film, and create my hologram in my short film. In terms of whether it meet its requirements to portray an imprint of new tech which in my film is holographic communication and the effects of VR on a human, will be down to how well the film reads now that its had to be drastically cut back because of my export problem that turned into a nightmare and me having to cut a lot of footage because of various issues. I thought I explored the internet very well to squeeze as much information on what I wanted out of it as possible, I also think this research informed my film well even though the film isnt great. I didnt really add any new targets but I think personally I meet all the ones is set to some extent.

Reflecting on my FMP I think I have gained the most valuable thing - experience. I have got to go out on my own and create my own project based around anything I so pleased as long as it adheres to the brief touch. It is around this experience that my ideas have developed. I think that what I done at first was dream. I maximised my idea and developed it to near full potential, I had a perfect image in my heads of how my project was going to look, I had researched how my hologram was going to look and how my film was going to play out in terms of development I had everything down right, until shoot day and post. This I see as a vital turning point in my project where my idea development almost had to change after I had got my footage as I had to then develop the idea to the point where it was realistic rather than perfect as it became quite apparent that perfect wasnt going to happen when I ran into my long list of problems. This I think was the most vital idea development as I then had to turn an idea that I had dreamed up into a realistic film that could be shown as I couldnt magically get the extra footage that I really needed as my actor had gone off to a job in New York for the next month to so re-shoot was not an option. This is where I had to think on the spot and manipulate the story and the footage in the edit to get a half decent story out that still somewhat portrayed the idea that I wanted to portray. This type of development I found way more useful to my learning; reflecting on it now as it was a more real world situation and could definitely prove to benefit me in the future rather than if everything had just gone prefect. However, I do still think its a shame I couldnt get the film out that I wanted to as Ive had to change It due to my issues, but saying this Im grateful I have a film that I can show that has taught me more than I thought it would have.

Personally without sounding like a snob I have not found group tutorials useful what so ever as ever time people commented on what to do next I was already one step ahead and probably doing it already, so in that respect I thought they were a waste of time for me personally and I thought I could have been doing more productive things with that hour and a half every week. Saying this I thought one on ones with my tutors was useful as they were more in depth and personalised. But the most useful feedback I had that I see as being essential to my project was networking with other students in courses higher than me as they are currently doing their FMPs and are experienced in FMPs as theyve gone through college and are doing their university degrees now. Two people in particular however have helped me out more than I could say, Cole who works at the I.T. Desk has a degree in Motion Graphics and Can who is just finishing third year of Digital Film here. They have helped me with developing my ideas and have invested a lot of time into me giving me feedback and honest opinions on what I should be doing and what I need to do going forward. 

So next time I definitely need a crew what has become apparent to me that is if you try to do everything by yourself you will struggle very much. As on shoot day I was so stressed out where I was trying to direct, manage actors, help my mum do sound, move my brother so that the green screen didnt have white light shining thought the back of it, camera man/shoot the whole thing myself so the clapper board and move the boom mic all at the same time. Also in post turns out I need an editor as I cant edit to save my life, I can see the shots and I know what I want when editing I just cant get it myself as Im too impatient and get stressed out by editing, saying this I defiantly need to improve my editing skills. So as a general I need to arrange to a have a crew next time. A big thing I also need to take away is that I need to be more prepared for disaster because this time round I had disaster in the edit and if it wasnt for Can and the guys at I.T. my film may have not came through.

In terms of skills Ive developed for industry, I think Im a better director now as Im starting to pick up on my mistakes and critically evaluate what needs to happen and what weve done wrong. I also think Im learning how to manage people better which is essential for time management. In terms of technical skills, I am learning slowly how to edit although I do not like it and dont intend to be an editor but Im learning none the less.

Building on my skill set going forward I strive to become a better director and be able to make even better stories that can adhere to even harder briefs. I need to build on my editing and understanding of editing going forward as its essentially the end game of film making once youre on the editing stage. I need to be more prepared as well going forward as I need to be able to be more resilient to problems that I face and more relaxed when dealing with them as stressing doesnt help your mind set very well and can be harmful to the bigger picture of a project.

Next year I intend to continue film making, continue getting better at it, continue making mistake and hopefully become the best film maker I can be so that one day I can get to where I want to be.

[movietvtechgeeks]

Latest story from https://movietvtechgeeks.com/oscar-diversity-doesnt-reflect-real-world-industry/

Oscar Diversity doesn't reflect real world industry

Hollywood is a prime example of why things are the way they are now in America. For years, it ignored the fact that minorities got the short end of the stick when it came to the Academy Awards and film roles while still praising itself for being so liberal minded. They would hold fundraisers for so many liberal causes without realizing that it was part of the problem by whitewashing so many of their films. Of course, they tried to use every excuse in the book for this, but it was all about the bottom line. It's always been like that since the film industry began. Now that Donald Trump is in office, Hollywood is seeing a rather horrid reflection of itself in letting things slide for so long. Yes, this year there are more minorities that were nominated, but it's a gesture that has come too late. Whitewashing in film has only empowered those in our country who feel that anyone with skin darker than theirs is a lesser being. That's how this has always worked in the past. People know there is a problem in their actions, but they'll rationalize by saying at least they're not like 'those people.' Sadly, that type of thinking makes the person even worse than 'those people' because 'those people' aren't afraid to let their views be known. Donald Trump's campaign put red hats on top of their heads so we could see them. By hiding behind, 'at least I'm not like them' has let 'them' come to be in power now. So while Hollywood is congratulating itself for being so forward thinking, just remember, you were forced into this thinking by being shamed. If you are truly as forward thinking as you promote, this would never have been a problem needed to be brought to your attention. After two years of intense public scrutiny over the academy's all-white acting nominations, the 2017 Oscar nominees are as diverse a group as the organization has ever seen, thanks to films like "Moonlight," ''Fences," ''Hidden Figures" and "Loving." It's been cause for celebration, but also for reflection and heightened scrutiny of areas where there is still work to be done. And there are some in the industry who wonder whether the rich diversity of this year's Oscars is a blip, a sign of progress, or some complicated combination of the two. Then there's the matter of who will ultimately win on Sunday night. The landmark nominations are undeniable, especially in the acting categories. It's the first time ever that each has at least one black nominee. Denzel Washington ("Fences") is up for best actor (his seventh nomination), Mahershala Ali ("Moonlight") for best-supporting actor, Ruth Negga ("Loving") is a best actress contender, and, in another first, the best-supporting actress category includes three black nominees (Naomie Harris for "Moonlight," Viola Davis for "Fences" and Octavia Spencer for "Hidden Figures"). All in all, there are six black actors nominated and seven actors of color (including Dev Patel for "Lion") - a deafening response to #OscarsSoWhite, which activist April Reign coined in response to the all-white acting nominees in 2015, and then again in 2016. There were strides made behind the camera as well. Bradford Young became the first African American to be nominated for cinematography for "Arrival." ''Moonlight" editor Joi McMillon is the first black female nominee in that category. It's the second time a black female producer has been nominated for best picture (Kimberly Steward for "Manchester by the Sea") and the first time that three films with black producers were nominated for best picture (including Washington for "Fences" and Pharrell Williams for "Hidden Figures"). There are also four black directors whose documentaries were nominated, three of which are about race. It might lead one to think that #OscarsSoWhite is a thing of the past - eradicated through public outcries and an Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences membership shake-up in which 683 new faces were invited to join with an emphasis on diversity. One of those new members, director Amma Asante, said it's "a good thing" that "more people who look like me have been nominated." In reality, however, the nominations are the result of a messy confluence of factors that don't lend themselves to a simple narrative - not to mention the fact that diversity doesn't end with black and white. "One year does not make up for over 80 years of a lack of representation of black people in the film industry," Reign said. She never intended #OscarsSoWhite to just be about black nominees, either, or even race. Instead, it was meant to shine a light on all underrepresented communities in films. And while much has been made of the breadth of the academy's efforts, David Poland, editor of MovieCityNews.com, has estimated that in the end, there were fewer than 50 new black members and just over 30 new female members inducted. (The academy does release specific information about membership.) He and others have questioned the idea that this year's nominations are a result of those changes. "The diversity of the nominees is 100% a function of the films that were released this year," Poland said. "It is wonderful that these films were recognized this season, but not because they were 'of color,' but because they are excellent movies ... It is, in reality, insulting to the films that are about or made by people of color that they will get in or have gotten in based on the issue of race." Conflating the protest with the accolades is a double-edged sword for many, especially those involved in the films. It's one thing to recognize correlation. It's another to assume causation. "I'm hoping it's not a trend," Viola Davis said. "I'm hoping it's not something based on a hashtag. It is something based on the natural fabric of what America is and what America now wants to see." Also, as nominated "Moonlight" director Barry Jenkins points out, many of the films responsible for the diversity this year were in the works before OscarsSoWhite. "Most of these films started a few years ago - four years ago, five years ago - not as a response to what happened last year, but as a response to the lack of these voices," Jenkins said. "I have no doubt that next year we'll be here this time of year and it'll be the same thing ... we're not going away." To be fair, Reign, too, doesn't believe that anyone was nominated because of a hashtag, or that any of the films were made in response. Ultimately what the hashtag did, like all effective protest movements, is raise awareness and consciousness around representation and, possibly, the films. But the Oscars litmus test is a shallow one for some. Oscar nominations (and even wins) are simply a last stage reflection of the industry at large and what films actually get made and put into the marketplace. It's telling that most of the best picture nominees started as independent films. "Let's be clear, it's a much better year than it was the last two years, but complacency and the notion that things have changed are things that I would guard against," said actor David Oyelowo. "The infrastructure that enabled two years of OscarsSoWhite hasn't fundamentally changed." Raoul Peck, the nominated director of the documentary "I Am Not Your Negro," echoed Oyelowo's sentiments. "As long as the person giving the greenlight to a movie is not a woman, a black person, a Latino, a gay, whatever - if there is not a bigger repartition of this power structure, nothing will change," Peck said. "We will go back and back to this conversation as long as nobody can say these are the definite changes."

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