#is this what ppl call parallel play

[mahikamihan]

dream and sapnap playing and doing their own thing while being in a call together ouuuugh <3

[alphaketoglutaricacid]

shuro notes

upon rereading some of dungeon meshi, I got a better grasp on his role in the story and why hes in the main supporting cast along w kabru (main protag of the suporting cast), namari, and mithrun (main antag of the supp cast) . Contrary to most of the characters disliking eating monsters, he seems to dislike eating, period. In his first appearance he refuses to eat maizurus cooking (with maybe some mermaid eggs sprinkled in..?). His refusal to eat ties into his extreme passivity. He seems to dislike how his father does what he pleases with no regard to how it affects others, and his fear of doing the same seems to play a huge role in how he lets other ppl walk all over him. He ignores his own desires, including his own hunger, because consuming means taking another life. To live means something else has to die, so to desire is to want to take from others. To try to live up to the image of an impassive leader he tries to not participate in this process at all! But bc hes a human being he has to eat, so instead of never taking from others, he starves.

With Falin, I think he realizes there is a way forward where he could be himself and face the ugly realities of what it means to want. To be unabashedly yourself while not hurting everyone in your life. His love comes from a deep place of admiration! I think part of the reason why he's so dead set on saving her is bc he wants to be her equal—she saved him from his nightmares without a second thought, and part of it is to repay her kindness and to be able to reciprocate it. I think he foils nicely w marcille bc he proposes to her (asks her to choose her future) while marcille doesnt want her to move on from the time they were both children. I think this plays a huge part in why marcille hates him, bc its a reminder of how the time will pass and also he aims to take falin away from her. Interestingly, she also became fairly distant and withdrawn after falin left and they both formed their relationship w her bc dirt and bugs r cool. They both are the party members in Laios squad that fly off the handle the most. Socioeconomically, they both seem to be in the least dire straits and kinda prissy abt things as a result. On re-read something else clicked into place.

After his fight w laios that starts w legit grievances and devolves into him hitting all of laios’ insecurities like a game of whack-a-mole, shuro says he’s returning to his home country and after that he would never see any of these ppl again. Even before falin got eaten, he knew he was going to have to leave the party but couldnt bring himself to tell them. The way the convo goes, it seems part of the reason why he proposed to her so suddenly is bc he wants to take a part of his time on the island back home with him—i.e. that hes not ready to say goodbye. That the prospect was taken from him so suddenly is why this is the first thing hes asked for or wanted for himself. Interesting parallels to how marcille is not ready to live the rest of her 1000 year life without her friends now, and how falins death is a catalyst that brings her fear to the surface—that for both of them, theyll live the rest of their lives never seeing the ppl they love from this island again. I think part of the reason he is so nasty to laios in particular is bc his entire worldview falls apart at laios' actions

Both desire wise and literally, Shuro is starving. And like a starving person getting his first meal in a long time, I think he gets a little greedy—when he gives Laios the bell, he says if the party somehow makes it past thistle, to ring it so they can all escape to the East--where he's headed. Likewise marcilles solution is to bring everyone with her to the 1000 year lifespan. Thats surprisingly childish of both of them! Also not a solution to the problem that suits anyone but themselves. Theres so many solutions to this. He could write. He could call. He could communicate view morse code using that bell instead of attempting to blink in morse code to communicate to laios how he doesnt want to be here. Falin voice: I’ll go visit you, okay? He could set foot on the island again. Honestly. This is so embarrassing for him.

But I think it gets at a core theme of the work. Marcille, Laios, and Shuro all say their greatest desire is to save Falin, but once u get down to it, theyre pretty basic-to not be left alone, to be w monsters who u feel a kinship with, to not have to leave. Namari says she left bc of money but later on goes u must never let go of your fear. Kabru says he wants to get to know laios to prevent utaya from happening again but its much simpler-he wants to be his friend. Our base desires are petty, but they are what keep us going day to day, just like how every living being has to hunger and eat to achieve the goals they set out for.

Lets talk abt his relationship w his retainers.

Hein- theyre childhood friends that have drifted apart in adulthood. By the familiar way she talks about him when hes not around, I think she wants to be close to him again. I think the distance between them is probably intentionally imposed by Shuro bc hes afraid theyll turn out like maizuru and his father. She thinks hes unreliable in a way i think u can only rlly get when u know someone for that long. I wonder if some of that I thought wed always end up together and I want him to like me even tho I dont like him back is wanting that closeness in friendship again

Maizuru- Good god whats happening here. she loves him but also treats him like a child even tho hes a 26 year old man. I think its got fun connections to how kabrus adoptive mom treats him like a child, how marcilles not ready to see falin n herself as adults, thistles relationship w degal. Now these are all relationships where differences in lifespan come into play, but w maizuru n shuro i think u see something real banal in why these elves cant let the ppl in their lives go. She coddles him bc she loves him and tells him at the end he doesn't have to eat the dragon if he doesn't want to, but he rebukes her and says he has to eat it to accept his own failures. So like he doesn't need to be coddled he needs ppl in his life to challenge him so he can grow. And at the end he realizes it tastes good--that even tho his journey had so much conflict and in the end he failed to save falin he made friends! He grew as a person! He starts reaching out to his retainers again! He got to harrass the elf cops and give them migraines! Ties a lot into laios speech to marcille that if falin didnt die they wouldn't have met all these ppl and gotten to eat all this food.

Its wild she put that hag curse on him. Poor kid cant even take a shit in peace. Actually the fact that he couldnt even have that time for himself n grew up constantly feeling watched explains a lot. I think the fact his father nonchalently burnt it and then roasted mochi over it without giving him any explaination made him think oh this is just what everyone goes through and im the weird one for being frightened. And it takes him 20 years to find out that no, its not normal to be haunted by a ghost that chases you with a knife. Pretty apt metaphor for how rules have defined his life without him fully understanding why they're in place. I'll give it a crack tho--it seems like the time period his homelands based on the sengoku period bc its a period of heavy civil war where ppl below upsurped the ppl above them. The strict hierarchy is probably an attempt to exercise social control in an extremely precarious situation.

Also side note: kinda impressive he can do magic when he was six. Probs a combination of maizuru being a talented teacher and his own skill. The fire cast… close but no cigar. Also interesting is how the magic he casts seems more elf-y in nature vs maizurus gnomic spirit magic. I wonder if hes his partys black mage- the occupation his party is pointedly missing vs the toudens missing their white mage and kabrus party being well rounded at all points. If so thats hilarious that when the toudens lost their previous mage and everyone was panicking he was like well… im just not gonna say anything #OnBrand. I do wonder if the bell he gives laios is his own magic tho.

Also shuros mother is mad at maizuru for being shuros dads mistress but gives her her children to raise…. Lets unpack this contradiction. Incidentally my tin foil hat theory is Shuros a bastard child. maizuru n his dad have been fucking since 4ever -> one of these children is not legitiment -> probs the one w a strange distance from the rest -> whys shuro succeeding his dad so up in the air when his competitions a 14 and an 8 year old. It's not important tho.

izutsumi + inutade: the fact that he doesnt speak up is his defining moment of moral cowardice. Its tied to his passivity! Hes scared of saying or doing the wrong thing bc hes afraid of hurting others, and he does basically attempt to torch his relationship w laios like it was contaminated w anthrax. Like the first time he tries to be active it went horribly, but his involvement moves the plot forward enormously—with him kabru would not have run into Laios, izutsumi would probably not have been able to run away, he raises the stakes of the journey by indicating they probs cant return to the surface so they have to keep going. And even tho its messy, ugly, and embarassing, he can still pick up the pieces afterwards. Nothing he does is as harmful as his passivity on inutade and izutsumis situations which unequivically, he knows is wrong.

Also w all the references to buying people, I looked it up bc i was like.... like slavery...? it seems to be a reference to retainership as a social caste where people buy your services and as a result you owe the estate your service. You get paid and you have rights, but it seems like you are bound to your station, but depending on the time period japan is supposed to reference, some ppl took on these positions for the sake of social advancement. Regardless, it seems the caste system is also less rigid than stated and ppl can move amongst the positions. There doesn't seem to be an exact cultural equivelent to this, but I think the closest concept is like, being a vassal. I was like if this is slavery this narrative portrays izutsumis time w the nakamotos too ambivenlently and hien going don't you feel any gratefulness for them taking you in makes no sense. But I still think theres something pretty rotten going on here.

Allegedly, as a ninja, you ascend the ranks based on your skill. And yet izutsumi and inutade are at the bottom, and hien, the person that was born into this role, is at the top! Izutsumi and Inutade aren't even considered human in the island of wa--this distinction is given to tall-men only. Theyre both from positions where I feel like the other characters are like they should be grateful they got from one horrible situation to this one thats a system based on merit and skill, but like out of everyone, theyre in the least position of power to say no, to even appreciate what other options there are for them in the world. Like its deeply coercive and wrong. Whats up w shuros father collecting ppl like theyre trophies man. So we can see a system allegedy based on merit is not one at all. Also I feel theres undertones of japanese imperialism with izutsumi being from the equivelent of central asia and having a soul of a child stuffed into her like some kinda of science experiment. Maizurus constantly trying to "civilize" her by teaching her ettiquite such as using your chopsticks. Like the rhetoric of the elves ape pretty directly to imperialistic sentiments, it would not surprise me if theres intentional commentary about japanese imperialism in how izutsumis treated bc japans kinda known in the east for their imperialism... theyve just done it so many times like my parents were like we left our families, our culture, everything we knew behind to go to america.... but we kept our death grudge against japan tho!! #lmfao. Honestly fair. anyways i think theres intentional parallels between how izutsumi is treated as both as a child and a feral animal by maizuru and how the elves treate other races as children that need toys taken away from them. But also how fundementaly, maizurus unsuited to take care of izutsumi bc the tools she has are not suited to izutsumis needs! She has no understanding of izutsumis life. Her hag curse turns from a highly questionable child rearing tactic on shuro to outright a slave collar on izutsumi. Teaching shuro ettiquate and being able to fight gives him the tools to survive in the postion he was born in but is erasing the culture izutsumi grew up in and has been taken away from before she even knew what it meant. Bc she was treated like a circus freak she never got to choose for herself! Tho providing the basic comforts to shuro is a privilage, it's not to izutsumi bc shes never been able to choose what she wants in life. It's why shes set up as shuros narrative foil like so:

This is his pensive look btw its a consistant tic that he lookes like hes glaring when hes deep in thought. Maizurus is both these people's strange mother figure who feeds them in liu of their actual mother. She smothers shuro in love and doesn't let him face actual challenges in life while she intensely disciplines izutsumi. Shuro reacts to this by aquiessing and never making demands of his own while izutsumi constantly refuses to conform. This is probably why he doens't get her.

In the early points of the story, shuro either says leave izutsumi for dead or leave her so she can pursue her freedom. The ambiguity is intentional, because i think in this part of the story we are not supposed to have a good read on him. But it's also because because of his passivity he doesn't do shit for her! So he loses out on having any type of relationship w her even tho they were tormented by the same curse. But crucially he may have learned from this w inutade, who he explicitly aknowledges how her situation is fucked up and her worship of his father is due to an insane power imbalance even tho he has no clue how to talk to her about this. And at the very end of the manga, he gets into an eating contest with her at her prodding as equals. So maybe there's hope he can do better. But I think its important that his relationship w izutsumi is non-existent as a consequence of his passivity despite the things they have in common bc theres no excuse for it. Thier relationship probs deserves its own post.

benichidori - very funny amongst all these complicated relationships these two just straight up dont know each other n r too shy to do so. Is what I was going to say but then I realized benichidori has taken shuros place as hiens closet friend and I wonder if theres any jealousy abt that. But also she shares a lot of traits w shuro and isnt that just interesting:

but even more interesting is her comic:

this is beat for beat shuros conflict w laios.

We only care about one thing: the crushing opinion of everyone in the universe.

I didnt get this on my first read even tho laios was like hes smart but he is incredibly sharp. Hes good at making useful deductions when things dont add up. It rlly reminds u hes trained in espionage.

He keeps kabru on his toes! interesting for such a smooth talker.

He gets kabru to open up about his motivations here and how it affected him and kabru actually shares some of his own feelings on the manner when usually hes holding ppl at arms length. I think him getting a chance to recite this helps prep him to talk to the caneries where notably, hes a lot more clinical about it.

Its nice all three of these ppl can challenge each other and support each other. I think it would be funny if kabru hits em up in the future like do u wanna start some shit for old times sake

able to tell chilchuck was not a child

is afraid of marcille which tbh fantastic call

Everyone else horrified marcille just killed a man but he's like yeah #tracks.

Other things that reminded me hes basically a fixer:

Spends his screentime evading the elf cops.

Refuses to talk to the canaries even under threat of being interegated for 50 years despite threatening laios party multiple times that hes gonna tell on them. instead spends his time going tbh i've never known anything in my life. I'm stupid like that :pensive emoji:

Incredible bit of manipulation on his part-he pretends to be thinking out loud to cast doubt on the canaries judgement to appeal to the ppl in the dungeon that are not motivated by the goodness of their hearts. Reminds me of namaris relatively selfish reasons for leaving the party--needing to get paid, which is a need she was ignoring for far too long and also laios was also not paying proper attn too when namaris in dire straits, and how she says she left the party after the dragon bc she remembered to never forget your fear. That selfishness must also drive you forward. Then he uses that doubt to twist the situation to say all their information could be false so maaaybe the situation is not as dire as they claim and they have other motives (social control). And he pretends hes talking to the caneries but this is directed to everyone else. He and namari pretend to pick a fight so the leader's distracted and everyone else uses this opening to scatter, which causes enough chaos that it breaks the control the elves have. Which is wild bc shuro knows the dungeon is dangerous bc kabru told him about utaya. He also knows laios party can be dangerous w the amount of collateral they cause w the dragon. He puts a lot of ppl in danger that do not need to be even though multiple times he worries about people getting hurt. At his core, tho, I think he wants to see laios and his party again and that selfish desire trumps everything else in this moment. Namari and shuro are so ride or die TBH.

He never shares any of this when not prompted. Except notably at the end he interrupts when ppl think laios might be dead. Which as an aside I think its interesting his biggest contribution to saving falin is not thru his fighting prowess, but through the simple fact he reached out to laios. His compassions his greatest strength. Laios frestrautes him and kabru, and they both punch him and complain that theyll never understand him, but I think they dont have to. Love requires compromise—it requires eating things you really dont want to, you clash and you hurt each other, but what matters most is that you keep reaching out to one another, that you keep on trying to understand each other. Living requires you to hurt and be hurt, to give and take.

Once again stuck in the middle of an insane and ancient beef

low key funny that he remembered the last time he was here and he was like u know what.... ill just sit this one out....

If my son told me he spent the last week pissing off the elf cops, Id be like yeah thats what the nakamotos are all about TBH

Theres pretty juicy stuff abt how laios is interested in shuro because hes exotic like a monster and his own relationship with being othered by ppl and the fact that shuro is constantly referred to as a foreighner even to ppl hes known and has risked his life for for two years + how to laios monsterhood is a type of freedom while being othered is a type of dehumanization for shuro + how hes trying to show some kind of solidarity to shuro but hes microagressing him thru his attemps + how laios just is being explicitly saying the racist beliefs everyone else implicitly holds just like how mithrun says other races are inferior races which horrifies the rest of the elves but its honestly what they believe but I'm tired and need to think abt it a bit more.

Why do shuro and his party from an island primarily composed of humans and other ppl sometimes not classified as humans but have similair lifespan bc of sociopolitical reasons imitate so many interracial dynamics despite being of the same race? It's to show how marcilles wrong about how the inequality between races exists bc of lifespan differences. Her own fears due to fantastical reasons of being a half-elf and unable to relate any of her insecurities to other ppl are not exclusive to her! Tall-men - Tall-men relationships run along the same lines and have the same conflicts. All the things she fears are things that make her human, that other people have also felt.

in conclusion:

think abt the messiest person u know. Its a man

jk its marcille #feminism

[anonzentimes]

*guy who loves talking about despair disease voice* wait can we talk more about despair disease. i have so many thoughts on despair disease and esp how it pertains to nagito

i feel like when a lot of people first play/watch the games they see nagito as someone who lies to manipulate people, which while i can’t super blame them for thinking that way bc of how hajime tries to reconcile his conflicting feelings over nagito, i get SO frustrated when ppl call nagito a liar bc no!!! no he’s not!!! you’re falling for other characters’ perceptions of him!!! nagito almost never lies and when he does he’s either really bad at it (cough cough final FTE. “i got it all from a book” you are not slick buddy) or comes clean as soon as he’s achieved his desired outcome- it’s more bluffing than actual deception, and one thing he’s especially sincere in is his beliefs and admiration for the people around him. and the despair disease PROVES this without a doubt!!

ok. i know in-text the despair disease is described as “reversing people’s personalities,” but i’ve always interpreted it a little differently. ibuki isn’t the opposite of gullible, akane isn’t the opposite of a coward, and nagito isn’t the opposite of a liar. to me, it’s always seemed like the despair disease gives its host the trait they’d most hate to have— whatever trait would instill in them the deepest despair. ibuki hates conformity- stick her with a disease that makes her blindly follow whatever she’s told. akane hates showing weakness- force her into a state of constant crying. nagito hates the idea of deceiving his classmates- make him incapable of being sincere. this interpretation makes mikan’s disease make a little more sense too imo, since remembering her brainwashing isn’t exactly reversing her personality but instead literally filling her to the brim with despair. ANYWAYS.

nagito Actively Despises not being able to tell the truth. he hates the despair disease, he sees it as a complete waste. in the ult. luck and hope and despair mangas, we actually get to see some of his internal monologue right before he passes out, and he is In Hell. he’s pissed that he can’t serve as a proper stepping stone in his state, he thinks the whole disease is stupid, and he gets so frustrated about not being able to properly encourage the group that he Literally Starts Foaming At The Mouth ????? like if you EVER wanted undeniable proof that nagito is sincere look at the despair disease. it’s basically a roundabout truth serum for him and that’s a huge part of why it’s one of my favorite motives

sidenote i feel like the despair disease has a shit ton of analysis potential in general just bc of how it turns characters into what they hate the most!! i loveeee brainstorming what symptoms certain characters would have gotten were they to get infected. hajime especially. maybe he’d get a fawning disease where he starts praising everyone nagito-style (this would highlight their bystander parallels and also make hajime feel MISERABLE bc he fucking hates when nagito points out how similar they are lmao). or maybe he’d get an apathy disease that’d essentially izuru-fy him (wonderful foreshadowing potential there, not to imagine the incredible angst of izuru being the thing hajime would hate to be most in the world.) alas i am not a fanfic author so i will sit with my concepts but it is a wonderful daydream with any dangan characters i’d highly recommend it :]

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSS!!!!! I SCREAM IN UNISON WITH YOU I LOOOVEEE THE DESAIR DISEASE!!!!! MAN… I’M SO OBSESSED WITH HOW YOU INTERPRET AND ARTICULATED THE DESPAIR DISEASE💗💗💗 The Despair Disease is genuinely so good for analyzing I really do believe Danganronpa 2 Chapter 3 is the best Chapter 3 out of the franchise. I think the reserving of their personalities truly meaning the traits they would hate to have is soo good I’m eating up, sealing it in my heart, and using it forever such a delightful way to explain it. The interpretations on what disease Hajime would get is so fun, I’ve seen some people interpret him getting the honesty disease which is fun in concept but I don’t think it works as well as other ideas could, y’know? Your ideas for a potential apathy or fawning disease are really fun to me, I like the idea of the fawning disease tapping into how much of a realist he is and giving him the opposite attitude Lol. Thank you so much for sending this it’s so fun I’ll be thinking about this forever, I wish I was a fanfic writer aha! I really want to become a fanfic writer, soon with time I suppose. Thank you again for sharing your daydreams with me, you’re very right it does have a lot of analysis potential! :D

[ardentpoop]

top 10 sam relationships ranked and why

for simplicity’s sake I will try to exclude threesomes/foursomes, platonic or otherwise. but note that every dynamic on the show that I have a dedicated pretentious tag for (all of which involve sam) is one that I like to play with in my head.

samndean. what can I say besides failmarriage of all time. one of the most interesting relationships ever portrayed on tv if you’re watching closely, and too many ppl try to cram it into a box and imo they’re all missing the forest for the trees (to be clear this does Not apply to most people who correctly recognize it as an abusive relationship; imo you can’t truly understand either of them or their dynamic if you are unable to reckon with this)

sam & jack. mother and son biologically linked to the same predator (lucifer) and orbiting the same violent head of household (dean)……both of them scapegoated for their Inherent Impurity and shuffled from cage to cage…..bursting at the seams with anger and grief over how powerless they feel to contain the powers that broadcast to the Men In Charge their slow but steady “corruption”…..sam couldn’t prevent jack from experiencing the exact same life-changing trauma that sam experienced at dean’s hands….what’s better than this 💕

sam & cas. shockingly underrated to this day. they’re patient and doctor (sexual) they’re worshiper and heretic (alternating. also sexual.) they’re dean’s brotherwife (sam) and dean’s cuck friend (cas) who’s in unrequited love with him and regularly getting his wife off in strange and unethical ways. they’re parents to jack and dean is the beloved angry man in their house who calls the shots bc they’re too sloppy and broken to make their own decisions. the lucifer&sam&cas link paralleled with the lucifer&sam&jack link. the devil’s rejects. sam can watch cas torture some guy with a look of admiration on his face and then they’re retiring to sam’s room in the bunker to watch shitty tv together in comfortable silence. cas experimenting with sam’s body is so commonplace that he can offer to do Anything to him and sam okays it without hesitation. I love thinking abt how their relationship developed over the seasons esp given where it started. delightful to me :)

sam & john bc they let me explore my many serious issues with my own father without burning myself too badly <3

sam & mary because much like sam and jack they were doomed from the start in the same way and watching them get hollowed out makes me want to scream (complimentary) plus the audience doesn’t appreciate either of them properly they are both Riddled with interesting bruises in the same places.

sam & meg bc BUABS gender fuckery forever (they’re both trans. to be clear)

sam & ruby bc ruby is dean-mirror and she is mother and she is fattening up her little lamb for the slaughter and she is teaching dumbo how to fly and she is saying “I’m sorry you’re hurting. I had no idea that dean would do that to you” and she is Poison, dean says, after locking sam up, and she is tenderly stroking the tears off sam’s face and smiling after she permanently shatters his faith in her.

sam & crowley. they are never ever fucking in a million years and that’s the best part. sam’s condescending “am I supposed to be impressed by that?” made my brain short-circuit. she isn’t this mean to Anyone else it’s beautiful.

sam & rowena. I can’t write the essay abt them that I want to write. they’re hot. I love how much crowley would’ve Despised seeing them getting along.

sam & gadreel for the fic potential alone. they are my little cutesies </3

[blood-starved-beast]

Hmm thinking about it I think of lot of ppl's issue with Caitlyn's arc this season is the confusion of what her arc in s2 act 1 was supposed to mean/represent and how that translates to her arc in act 2.

Cause the point was that Caitlyn's laser focus is what blinds her. It made her susceptible to manipulation by Ambessa, caused her to lean to fascist like behaviors, and with the priviledge of her birth, meant that translated into consequences for and damage to a lot of people of Zaun (including the war crimes). This does not justify her behavior now, but it doesn't make her a fascist ideologue, which a lot of ppl seem to have gotten the impression is where her character will be going.

Act 1 Caitlyn was her hardening and doubling down on her pain and grief, which culminates in her discarding Vi, something that pre-ep9 of s1 wouldn't have happened. Not after all what they've been through. That's where the parallels with Vi and Powder from s1ep3 come from - at an emotional/personal level, it's a betrayal not only to Vi/Powder, but also to what Caitlyn/Vi wanted in their relationship/how they engaged with their loved one/themselves even.

Fast forward to act 2. Time has passed, and Caitlyn's initial grief has cooled. Her hard boot actions of act 1 and leaning into the role Ambessa provided for her (which she did not want, cause again she's not an ideologue for fascism/dictatorships) did not bring her her results; rebounding with a woman her mother would've wanted (per Amanda Overton says) did not get her the satisfaction she'd hope. She misses Vi. But more pertinently, Ambessa is going too wild, she is causing too much problems, and this is going on for too long. And there's the Jinx issue. Caitlyn is smart, if a bit hamstrung with little allies who could do something (her mother, Jayce are now gone, she has no Vi for a guide in the undercity) to help her. Only Ambessa, whom Caitlyn is aware is manipulating her but Caitlyn herself is not politician with the skills to play back. And again, Ambessa knows how to press her buttons. Until Singed.

That's when I think, it becomes clear to Caitlyn that she needs to act now. When she learns that Ambessa not only was going behind her back about finding this weapon (thus, more self-interested and dangerous), she's working with the guy who has done so much damage to Piltover and Zaun both. And is actively hurting this guy and plans to do more. It becomes imperative when Ambessa speaks about destroying a peaceful commune. So when Vi shows up, finally, an ally whom Ambessa is not aware of and/or doesn't have a thumb in, she takes the chance. Hence the team up. She can trust Vi here, cause she learns that Vi has an invested interest in protecting the commune (her dad is there/is the beast). That's not of course, including the guilt and of course the love, but still. And that clearing of mind allows her to focus more on the important things - not attacking Jinx, ignoring her to focus on Vi being injured in the fight despite having the Shot for Jinx. Caitlyn now knows isolation (timeskip deal) and values more what she has to lose.

tl;dr - Caitlyn's issue was always that she had tunnel vision, and too much grief that manifested into rage which led her astray in many ways. She was never Anti-Zaunite in the sense she wanted them all dead - but cause of the grief and her flaws with her privilege led her to lean into her biases with little countermeasure. Even in episode 1 she was blaming Jinx, and later Silco's goons for the rogue actions in Zaun - not the whole population. Again, he Her "pivot" in act 2 makes sense therefore, cause it was less a pivot if more of a clear head/wake up call. Her actions in act 1/timeskip are not justified on moral grounds, but it makes sense for the character and her situation.

[dotshifts]

thats literally what I have been thinking thus if the time periods from previous eras are still playing out it means theres parallel realities too that happening at once. why do u think some spirits remain on earth and do u think life could then be longer somehow? cause I hate how there is u have to pick one thing ur good at and thats all u can really do in life kinda like the terminology of yolo but I have been thinking then life isnt that short its actually quite long winded imho. just that what people think creates a certain image of life and their opinions shape it as such ways. so life can really then only be exactly what we make of it, i also dont think there is heaven and hell and that its another realm we dont yet have access too bc we are earth beings from the start

this just my opinion though its not fact nor true so could be wrong but i do think in terms of religion we r the creators but the bible always says believe in something like a higher power but u still having to believe in urself thus ppl are the higher power without realising it but bc we have all been told these situations are the only version of the situations then this is all there must be to experience does this make any sense?

time and situations are linear and nothings is fixed or set in stone.

Could life be longer??

You experience life with your awareness only and that’s how YOU experience it, you can live multiple lives whilst still having your awareness from past experiences/lives and that’s how you become immortal technically

You can also live a life where people are immortal which is also a different way to live longer

These methods are both quantum jumping btw

Do I think there’s another realm

I heavily believe in another realm and quite specifically the “quantum field” which is a realm where everything exists everywhere all at once and where you are nothing but awareness but your also at the same time everything everywhere all at once and that’s because the quantum realm consists of nothing but the energy and frequency of EVERYTHING you could ever think of and beyond, the only way you can access this is not w your physical body but with your awareness and thats y you’ll see some people call it the “void state”

That state is our most natural state of being and that is our “source” (where we came from)

That’s also why you’ll see people talking about shifting to these other realities by entering the quantum field

I actually learned about the quantum field in my book by dr Joe dispenza

Are we the creators according to bible?

I believe the bible is a metaphorical book but everyone interpreted the book way too literally so now ppl think there is a god outside of them when in reality it was them all along as we all are able to create our experience

I think Jesus knew that and he knew he was god but people also took that too literally and now are literally worshipping a completely average (but smart) spiritual man

I don’t think time is linear

I obviously can’t change your beliefs but personally I do not think time is linear because if it were, then the theory of “infinite timelines existing all at once” would be debunked according to that belief

I think time is happening on overlap and not linearly, hence why the “end” of time is also the start of time.

I think all these concepts overall are hard to grasp and understand fully so that’s why it can be long winded for some to believe in these things but honestly I don’t understand cause we are living in a mysterious universe so why would our existence be simple and easy to comprehend

[roseamongroses]

something about the history of spider-byte's name (and intial lack therefore of a last name) is calling to me. like even now that margo has a last name, ppl still don't recognize her civilian identity bc of how little screentime she had and the brevity of the comic appearance.

hmmmm ok i've marinated. idk much about tech so take the terms with a grain of salt and just focus on the emotional story. think i have some headcanons:

margo lives in a society where it's common to use virtual reality to escape/ experience life but margo is actually one of the more extreme cases of this escapism

she's friendly with others, something doesn't seem to be wrong, but her peersknow she's always connected to the vr/always online. they don't notice how little they know about her home life or about her, despite her being familiar with everyone else.

-

and this disconnect only becomes worst once she takes on the mask of spider-byte. helping people in the way she's always desired to be helped is fufilling, but it doesn't take long for margo to become lost in her online persona.

-

the longer she spends as spider-byte, the more the two worlds blur. and once she gains the ability to physically manifest her avatar, her spider abilities begin to transfer into her irl body

-

at first margo was excited about this change. she could finally be the hero she wanted to be inside and outside of her vr- headset, but she quickly discovers that her bodily automony is being manipulated.

-

sometimes her skin glitches, changing into a rainbow of colors without her say-so (she'd have to fake sick to avoid questions from her peers/parents) . sometimes when she splits her avatar her body doesn't immediately return and if it does it never feels the same. as if data is missing.

-

but most obvious is that her understanding of humanity--of herself changes. not in a cruel way, but she feels an alienation from human connection that she'd never experienced before. she saves the day, not because of her childhood desire to do good, to be saved and save others, but because it is her avatar. it is her purpose as spider-byte, not the dream of margo kess.

-

it's when margo catches herself refering to herself spider-byte, even when she was outside of vr relaxing that she begins to investagate further.

-

she begins to question her relationship with the cyber crime police department and how easily they accepted her" "vigilatism"/ eventually she tracks down conversations between the department and an unknown scientist/ leading cyber security company. i'm thinking of this being her "doc oc" connection, but im open to other villian parallels tbh

-

the thing is this "doc oc" knows that margo has been tracking them . they think its funny. they're facinated with their experiement and are very willing to play along with the investagation as long as they get to observe their subject.

-

the fact that margo got "bit" was part coincidence. the program/ bug was sent out to find a suitable host. someone isolated, someone online for long hours to properly conduct the experiement, someone who had the need to escape and become something more.

-

it could've been anyone. they were meant to be corrupted entirely by the program, only leaving behind a husk irl as they accepted their new reality. but margo was different her need to do good was so great that it redirected the prgrams goals entirely. allowing for her persona of a hero to infliratrate her real life and vice versua in a way "doc oc" had never seen before

-

doc oc at first wanted to let margo live as a hero . but her changing the bug--resisting its intended purpose intrigued them more. it wasn't enough to collect data on the experiement spider-byte anymore. now doc oc needed to break her. to rebuild her and understand what makes her so special

-

and this back and forth does mean margo loses a lot. some days she doesn't even remember her last name. but she's motivated now to reclaim her life, her heroism, and make sure no one else is taken advantaged ;like this again

[mai-marybel]

Sometimes I hate that they make Orestes out to be a misogynist or an Agamemnon 2.0 since (bad man, good woman) when in the plays he is hesitant to kill his own mother while Electra supports him

For me Clytemnestra cursed Orestes But she didn't curse Electra just to torture her in another way, "to see how your brother that you hadn't seen in years loses his sanity because of YOU" also taking into account that Electra planned all that and not Orestes

I also laugh when they portray Elektra as the repentant one, but the texts portray her as the most resentful, "Oh mother, you who betrayed your own blood."

and also like the fans of Clytemnestra she only cares about Iphigenia when she is a victim but not when she shows preference for her brother in Iphigenia by Thauris (where she, upon confusing Orestes with a stranger and knowing what her mother has done, cries more for her deceased brother than for her mother, and when she finds out that her brother is alive she does not hesitate to hug him but Orestes stops her because he is AFRAID of what the Furies can do to them)

and then Iphigenia dares to clean him up. But he doesn't want to involve her because he doesn't want to lose another woman again...

and as an adult Iphigenia decides to follow him on her own to get back home and there are hints that she has forgiven her father (she calls Orestes "as dear as my father") and it also gave me the head canon that Clytemnestra was a narcissistic mother since Iphigenia doesn't seem to care about her or even mention her.

Orestes is honestly anything BUT misogynistic, him preferring his father over his mother read less as misogyny and more that he didn't even get to meet him, he was a BABY when he sailed to troy, and was denied the opportunity to even get to know him by his mother, a mother we can assume wasn't really all there bc of her severe trauma and anger. So yeah, obviously the little boy is gonna idolize his hero father and resent his absent mother.

I don't remember Clytemnestra cursing Orestes, but from the Euripides' "Orestes" is obvious that, even if she wasn't punished by the furies like her brother, Electra does view herself as a murderer. I forever love the parallel of Electra literally guiding Orestes' blade, while Clytemnestra metaphorically guided Aegisthus' blade (tho I do love the versions of her being the direct killer) Euripides basically goes out his way to compare Electra and Clytemnestra and I LIVE for that

Electra does show repent for her actions, but it's for a very different reasons from Orestes, while Orestes is remorseful for the actual act of killing their mother, Electra is more focused on how her actions caused her brother's demise, she does not feel repent over the action, but over the (obvious) consequences (I mean, girl you killed your mother, what tf did your ass expect?)

I very much agree with you, Iphigenia is like, one of my top 3 mortal gals, and obviously her sacrifice is vital to her story, but I hate that it's the only thing ppl talk about, she wasn't just a victim, she was a daughter, a sister, a priestess, an inmortal, these people constantly ignore everything else about her in favor of her just being a victim, also they constantly erase how at the end, she literally accepts being sacrificed, Iphigenia love for her family is a key factor to her personality to a point she literally decides to be killed to help her father, but gods forbid a woman makes a decision they don't like, bc let's fucking ignore her self sacrifice for the sake of making her a helpless little girl who Agamemnon brutally killed without remorse (let's also ignore how he literally cried and had to hide his face)

(I can't believe these people made me defend Agamemnon, I hate his ass)

While I get your headcanon (like, yeah valid) her interactions with Orestes and Iphigenia in "Iphigenia in Aulis" makes me think the contrary, she really loved her children above anything, but after losing Iphigenia, I feel like she fully checked out of motherhood, leaving her alive children to be raised by the servants while she cheated on their father. I think Iphigenia easiness to forgive her father has to do with the fact she was the one being hurt, if Agamemnon had done that to her brother or sisters, I feel like she would definitely have a hard time even looking at him, her preferring her brother over her mother makes complete sense given her character, she asked her mother to protect her brother, she did the contrary, not only that, she abused her sister and tried killing her, exiled two of her siblings. Iphigenia is the oldest child, and she will always choose her siblings over her mother (one time I saw someone call Iphigenia a "traitor" for not preferring her mother which was????)

[fluffypotatey]

Haha, it sure was! You are such a mood, beautiful reaction. 10/10 clarification too, love it. very solid thoughts, and gosh lol strategically placed calls of macaroni and macandy make your replies so much funner to read. "and ain’t it fascinating how despite how long it’s been since either character have talked or interacted with each other, they still know the ins and outs of their behavior and thoughts." YES FLUFFY its one of the best parts of their dynamic oooh you're so haunted by what you had before, its so easy to slip into and catch you off guard and that's why I bring you episode 2!!

THEY HAVE A CARTOON ABOUT WUKONG PROSECUTING MACAQUE IN COURT IM SHRIEKING! MK is all "gasp, do we need a lawyer? not to worry, I watched every episode about monkey king in court. I'm very familiar with legal dramas." its a REAL thing Fluffy! he's so funny, we joke about MK being Wukong's lawyer in memes but it's legit now. *awkward laugh* "I need a moment to speak with my clients." tfw your cilents are the most problematic ppl around, you're gonna need a darn good lawyer pal. Macaque instantly recognizing the spell and running was so choppy he looked silly 😭 the "stop!" could've been so smooth lol. oh well. Wukong stumbling back too, oh Flying Bark I miss your movements. but thank goodness for the writers. ALSO the fact he instantly goes "we will....all be alright....relax" to comfort MK despite literally just being chained and hurt. oof, "I really don't want to wear this thing anymore. this time, it's stuck on tighter." omg when the eng dub comes out IF THEY MAKE THE PARALLEL TO THE MOUNTAIN SEALING MORE OBVIOUS. "I'm the one whose suffering, so why are you moping?" "Because I wasn't planning to go to jail today." "So you think I planned and wanted all this?" "You think I'm happy we were caught together?" AND THAT LAST BIT. He points all sassy at Mac with his tail with emphasis and bites his lips and stares at his tail (still pointing at Mac) like it committed a crime against him. what is wrong with them...I think you'll enjoy Wukong still teasing Nezha constantly lol. ITS ALSO SO FUNNY WHEN MK ASKS WUKONG TO NARRATE LIKE MR. TANG and he's like, are you serious?!?!? ok fine.

anon, you have no idea how many times i have rewatched ep2 🫠 it haunts me

be haunted. like me :)

*inhales*……..*exhales*

DO YOU KNOW! DO YOU KNOWWWWW!!!!

do you know how unwell i became when i watched these with the subtitles???? do you know how many times i reminded just to watch every minute detail??? do you know how much Macky is placed in corners or in the background but is the most expressive????

these gay ass monkeys 🫠

AND THENNNNNN!!! AND THEN YOU HAVE MK WHO IS REACTING LIKE HE WOULD IN S1 AND 2 BC HE STILL WANTS TO ACT LIKE EVERYTHING IS A-OKAY AND NORMAL AND NO FREAKY MONKEY MAGIC IS MESSING WITH HIS SANITY

MK with his Ace Attorney attire and then how he is talking to Nezha and how he is trying so hard to make light of the situation (which swk plays into until the Li Jing places the circlet)

AND THEN!!! we have this :)

SWK GETS COLLARED AND MK FREAKS THE FUCK OUT

y’all remember s4, right? how Azure brings the gang back from the scroll and MK learns that he was used to free Azure’s friend but never Wukong and flips out? because i do :D

and now he’s watching his mentor/friend in pain and he wants to help but doesn’t know how and he doesn’t trust his powers anymore BUT THEN SWK HOLDS HIS HAND AND CALMS HIM DOWN SO QUICKLYA ND I JUST

so yeah :)

[lacunasbalustrade]

notes whilst writing this insufferable idol lyric docs fic

mon. 4. dec.

<the movie director’s/ designated writer for friendgroup’s thought process>

voracious jewellery collector tries to rob cute jewellery shop owner of their rings and force them to bend the knee: villainous ohohoho (jk lol)

thus the K-pop 白痴 (knows zero about K-pop) attempts to write a fic about lyric docs- what can I say I love nothing better than a challenge (borderline masochistic suspicions)

line break because this is going to be long u have been warned. this is gonna be a journal for me ignoring the fact that tumblr itself is a journal

someone is going to know my suffering at stumbling headfirst into this world of idols. likely Kyoya. but i may change my mind

where the hell are those screenshots where mio and i discussed this. if you can’t tell already I’m one of those ridiculous ppl who needs the whole guidebook of encyclopaedic references to write.

went back the entire six months worth of conversations and finally found it, cringing at my every message like my dear God intended

I’m keeping all the lyric doc tabs open so I can read whilst i write

okay not Kyoya he’s into this too much

Rouga you’re my everything you’re my soul you’re just as dead as i am about this ‘what if we just go with disaster’

don’t get me wrong I’m enjoying this I’m just the kind of person to complain about everything and bitch all the way through only to appear with a shiny smile at the end of it

that is to say i like the steep learning curve but i also like to keep myself aware of how much I’m doing so i get to laugh at myself when i say ‘no problems’ later on

what do you call that character type

nvm back to writing

we’re starting this with a voiceover because i say so. draft here “future card buddyfight is a game that connects to parallel universes and allows monsters and humans to become buddies. in the wake of global events that have shattered his reputation, Gaen Kyoya decides to restart his cult by starting an (apparently) harmless idol management agency. By traveling to other worlds on a universal tour, will his newly formed idol groups be able to compete with the local talent? Will Gaen Kyoya be able to regain his reputation as a heartthrob? Most importantly, will the press-ganged idols ever get to play Buddyfight again? an earth-shattering screech is heard from the Gaen Tower. “Daddy always told me I’d be a star!”

Gaen Kyoya gives Shido Magoroku a strained smile. He’s in it to win it whatever the game. It’s too late to back out now, although he absolutely regrets - regrets, not deserves this.

rouga is doing the voiceover. this is disaster, the world tour movie. we’re gonna keep that secret till the end of the fic. (publishes this draft instantly and fails to keep any secret) whatever movies are announced anyway and it’s more fun to hype this up.

tasuku is not in an idol group as far as i have surmised from a quick scan- over. so he’s just going to show up to every performance and laugh at them. bro finally got to catch a break (and a good laugh)

wait ILL MAKE IT SEEM LIKE ITS ENDED AND THEN FLASHBACK TO ACE IDOL GROUPS AND BE LIKE - YOU THOUGHT, SUCKER, ITS NOT OVER YET!!!!

ah. I’m publishing this draft later. Should i just delete number 15 for my reputation?

nahhhhh.

if you couldn’t tell already I’m writing this as i go so this thought process is in chronological order

i already know I’m never going to read this again this guidebook to the movie director’s thought process comes at the cost of my dignity

who am i kidding i have no such thing called dignity (meow)

this is my reference draft so I’m going to drop the cropped screenshots here for ease of rememberance

note: is polery a thing??? anyways

oh my gosh. mio u really changed two names because i liked certain options better. i love you.

I’ve become softer because now I find the options for band names I like are different (reverie, paradoxus, wishing star and hikari to tomo ni) which really makes me want to break down.

I am in a better place, a quieter place, and it shows. (charting my own growth like a parent checking their child’s height against markings on the wall)

22. there are basically two bands from first season can i really stretch the whole fic out and really make it seem like it ended with just that

23. who am I kidding I’ll be lucky if i can even stretch the fic out my highest amount of words so far is 3000 I haven’t even finished my long fic for Tasuku yet (hellooooo, my dearest procrastination)

24. in conclusion let’s just run with it. i wanna have it out in time for mio’s bday i have like a month and a day.

25. Tasuku is in the idol list. my memory be like sand flowing away with the tide

26. anyways

27. how’s that’s supposed to work

28. like i believe i could spout some nonsense about Kyoya. bribing everyone. because what good are riches except for yknow bribing people to become idols.

29. what ifff he saved a record of disaster’s ridiculous meetings and said with a straight face and smile as usual - “we’ll all sink on this ship, my friends”

30. basically blackmail. hmmm

31. i will find out when i start writing! (conclusion)

32. at first i was going to read fics to find out more about the idol industry but all the fics are au fics so that’s a bust

33. instead i am waving to chat gpt so if there’s any inaccuracy go blame Elon Musk like we do for everything under the sun

34. did Elon Musk even make chat gpt

35. I don’t care anymore that’s not relevant

work in progress for obvious reasons. will update this stupid post.

the relevant tags: note to self

also a line to your friend that kinda hit me when I was browsing by the posts to find those relevant tags:

“it’s now kinda buried under 200+ songs in my playlist, but when it plays, I never skip it.”

(italics at my own risk)

[spaghettitigers]

in some ways, and others - arthur/eames

fic 1 of a self-imposed challenge to just write and not think too much on it, following themes. this one's is misunderstanding.

~~~

Eames doesn't remember how he got here.

That's the first thing really. There he is, tied to a chair whose legs stand at the edge of a pool, and the cool metal of a gun pressed to the side of his temple. The ropes on his wrists and chest are frayed slightly, where he feels the ends tickle his pinky. It's nighttime, a waning moon by the light, because his kidnapper may lack imagination but that has never stopped him from attempting flair.

"Arthur, darling,is this all necessary?" he asks, because if he's honest, there's an itch on his brow that's beginning to bother him more than he'd like to admit. 

Arthur clicks the safety off before moving in front of eames' precariously placed chair. His mouth is pursed into a tight, unamused line and while Eames is typically always prepared to wax poetic about Arthur's face, the narrowed eyes at least partially accomplish their mission of intimidation.

He's in a sour mood, Eames thinks, and because he's Eames, he so enjoys moments of little forethought, and says exactly that. He can't help who he is, it's in his blood, his DNA, the very fiber of his being-

"You seem in a terribly sour mood, love."

"Don't call me that," Arthur snaps, and then slower, reeling himself back to the cool and collected mask that Eames despises, "Why did you sell me out to Myers?"

The anger in his voice is subtle (Eames snorts internally at the thought, because none of this is subtle), but he can picture it in the undercurrent of Arthur's skin, slow and venomous. He looks delectable here,(Now is hardly the time to be thinking of his fingers in those chocolate curls, scrapes of teeth on his neck, a heavy hand squeezing the solid line of Arthu's waist - no, Eames is simply cursed to have memories of this). 

"This would go a lot faster if I knew what the bloody hell you're talking about," Eames replies.

The gun pushes closer. "Don't fuck with me Eames, I'm really not in the mood. Only 3 ppl in the world knew about the plan for Armstead Technology and who knew Myers would blow as many knee joints and break as many fingers as necessary to get the files from me, so," Arthur inhales deeply, "I'll ask again and only this once more, why did you do it?"

Eames' head spins as reality sinks in. Arthur believes every word. The tension of his forearm veins is stark in the blue reflected pool light, dancing across the fine hairs. 

"As flattered as I am about the theatrics, you truly didn't need to go so far on my accord. I haven't the faintest clue what you're on about, so when you're ready to have an adult conversation about this, I'll be right here." They're bold words, and he hopes on hope that his nonchalance hides his fear about the situation. 

Eames' head is yanked back by his hair, a sharp hiss escaping between his teeth. "Was the payoff worth it? I was this," Arthur emphasises, "close to being dropped into the Danube, just like this, so you'll excuse my impatience today."

"You think I'm playing? What's wrong with you, Arthur? I never even knew Armsweng, Amsterdam, whatever they are, before this, much less to sell you off to the highest bidder like cattle."

The grip on his hair has thankfully loosened, the tiniest fraction. Arthur's eyes bore into his, searching for the slip up that he's expecting, but Eames can only see fatigue and- a depth of something gone terribly wrong, like Arthur's world has turned itself inside and out. 

For the first time in the evening, Eames catches sight of the healing cut running parallel to Arthur's hairline, how Arthur keeps his gun hand strong but wavering just the tiniest bit, Arthur's microexpression of a wince when he pulled Eames' hair.

Arthur doesn't say anything yet, just staring as Eames examines him. And then: "I saw communiques in your Sao Paulo apartment from Cha. The money was impressive, even by my standards, and the last someone had seen you was Bucharest. I can put two and two together. I really should've known." The inference is left hanging in the air, a live wire.

Eames gapes at him. "I haven't been to Brazil in months. And I'm not stupid enough to grass up one of the best point men out there and piss off no doubt the countless fans of your work. Did my apartment look liveable any way to you? Because I know for a fact that my electricity was out and the plumbing broke ages ago."

His hair is finally released, and he catches the flash of doubt in time. Bingo.

"What did they do to you?"

Arthur's jaw locks, and there's more wounds on the underside of his jaw that Eames can glimpse from this angle. He's somehow sure that what he sees is only a fraction of the damage that's been done. 

"Arthur, I thought our relationship had more depth than that. What would I have to gain by getting rid of you?"

"That's not- you're-" Arthur groans, scraping a hand across his face, gun still held in his hand but thankfully, no longer pressed against his person. "You've always said you'd sell your own mother and her ducklings if the pay was good enough. What is anyone supposed to believe?"

Eames feels relief exhale through him. He's not 100% safe, he knows, not until he's been kicked awake and about 15,000 kilometres away from whatever seedy place Arthur has them camped out in.

A chair that definitely hadn't been there a moment ago is just far enough for Arthur to slump in and stretch his long legs. He looks drained as the day Mal died, a particularly unhappy memory that Eames can always perfectly recollect. Eidetic memories don't always come in handy, to many people's surprise.

"How low you must think of me, sweet." He wants to be shocked, but he knows that his own rumours and the reputation he had developed in the dreamsharing community is his own concoction. He's unsure why it bothers that Arthur thinks of him simply as everyone else. 

"Fuck." Arthur's head is in his hands, and there's the slightest tremble in his hands. Clearly, the man hadn't recovered from whatever treatment had been doled out to him. "Fuck."

Arthur surges up and there's a flash of reflected light before the ropes on Eames' chest are cut loose and he can barely react before Arthur turns the barrel onto himself, a clean shot to the neck.

~~~

By the time Eames figures out a way to kick himself awake, only the faint scent of Arthur's cologne remains. A hastily scribbled note sits on the night stand of the bed.

I'm sorry.

~~~~~~

(Years later, Arthur and Eames will come back together for the Fischer job, where Eames will confront Arthur about all the favours he's called to pull Eames from every pickle Eames found himself in, self inflicted or otherwise. He'll catch Arthur at a weak moment and convince him for a drink when they land in LA, high on life and success and the sweet sound of his bank account filling up and by some miracle, Arthur will agree with only three attempts of flirtation versus his regular arsenal of five. 

Arthur will flush so pretty in the yellow lighting of the dive bar, and apologise again about four times before Eames puts a hand over his. Arthur will pull away like he's been stung but it doesn't stop the blush or the way he turns away to gulp more beer with the smallest smile.

They'll go to bed together, and lie naked and touching, as Eames caresses each scar from all those years ago. He'll kiss each raised bump and feel this odd pull from his chest when he watches Arthur shiver each time. And slowly, he'll understand why Arthur couldn't do anything more to Eames that day, when Eames knows that had it been anyone else in that dream, they would've never seen him coming.)

[nonsenuser]

planet of the apes (trilogy + kingdom)

spoilers ahead for the whole planet of the apes trilogy and kingdom of the planet of the apes

i have a very faint memory about these movies from when i was younger, i mean its a very popular series, who wouldnt be intrigued by the concept of talking apes (also the visual effects for these r genuinely very impressive) but what i don't remember is how surprisingly nuanced the conflicts in the movies feel

when watching these movies as someone much older, with the context of everything currently happening and everything that has happened, it puts the conflict between the apes-humans into a very real life context. caesar is such a wonderful, interesting and honestly deeply complex character, the trilogy works incredibly well as a whole and while some of the movies r much much better than others, his upbringing, trauma and overall experiences play such a role in what we see him do and say in these movies. what makes caesars experience so unique, is his proximity to his oppressors (humans). he has undoubtedly seen the ugly side to them, but on the other hand, he was literally raised by a human. who he undoubtedly holds so much love for and at the same time understands the ways in which as a collective humans have been bad to his people.

that's also why koba, who has seen the most grotesque side of human nature, and in a sense these experiences have radicalized him, will always haunt caesar. because of koba's experiences, one could say his ideology is more focused and clearer than caesars, who is grappling with it continuously throughout the trilogy bc of his attitude twds humans (and this gets brought up repeatedly throughout the trilogy) koba isn't even wrong in his frustrations, would the humans have attacked first? maybe, if the humans had a leader who was much like caesar, the conflict wouldn't have escalated to a point we saw in war. but again who could say for sure. im looking back on what i wrote so far and ive realized how much harder it is to talk about the original trilogy! Dawn is the best of the trilogy for this reason, the escalation of the conflict is dense and you could analyze it through a political lens and compare it to real life events... but i don't think i have enough political insight to serve it justice.

people have analyzed War (which is think is kinda easier to analyze than Dawn) like theres a clear parallel with american nationalism and how horrific and damaging that is to the oppressed (like they put the apes in literal camps) and also they had a strong strong desire to rid of anyone who held mutated virus, you could pull the pandemic parallel sure but this is also how an unfortunate huge chunk of the world feels about disabled people (the idea that ppl need to rid them so they don't infiltrate the gene pool or something like that). and just like in real life you have the humans outside of the camps who are opposed to the ideology of woody harellson and his men.

but anyways throughout all of this CAESAR grows and learns, and as a leader he guides his kind to freedom, their path to liberation is rough but it is well understood that his leadership was incredibly inspiring. it is no surprise that people live by his word, generations after he passed, to the point where they misconstrue his message

kingdom planted a lot, and i mean a LOT of interesting seeds. caesar being a religious figure of sorts, and noa, who you could call a skeptic for most of the movie, are great inclusions to continue the saga. a lot of very important questions get asked (not literally, but this is what i gathered)

caesars words guided their kind back then, how suitable are they for everyone generations later? (especially since they just have word of mouth to go off of)

the humans want to 'reclaim what they once had', what lengths are they willing to go for that and is it justified?

IS IT POSSIBLE FOR HUMANS AND APES TO LIVE SIDE BY SIDE? the most important question of them all. and it will be a very difficult one to tackle! has it been long enough that apes will 'forgive' humans? will humans just want to consume and reclaim without consideration for the apes? how nuanced r the viewpoints within the humans and apes?

DO YOU SEE HOW MUCH THERE IS HERE. the messaging is so so so dense and even though it is just an ape movie it is really fascinating to see how all of this plays out! i am so incredibly excited for the sequels to kingdom. would love anyone to jump in on the conversation, correct me or otherwise it is just a lot! i love this series!

[eldritch-araneae]

So, it time to put my thought about Earthspark new episodes. I have a lot of insight on Bumblebee, and more thoughts regarding the story. I absolutely love this show, that's the single-handedly the best show I watched in years, no joke!

So yeah, spoilers for new episodes and it's a long post! Things I'm gonna talk about is the War, Agent Croft and Scholder, a bit of Mandroid, the Triplets and of course, Bumblebee <3

Grab your drink, sit comfy and welcome under the cut!~

The War

Episode 16 was good, showing that war is horrible and tragic and nothing good comes out of it, and Megatron putting his faith into Terrnans for them to not repeat the mistakes cybertronians did. So many lives lost, from all sides of conflict.

(Sidenote: and look like AllSpark was just sent home ( or possible destroyed) that why it was never mentioned. Bee seemed fine in the battle, only to be tackled by Skullcruncher. So I think Optimus just made up a story that Bee died to get him off radar. He's a spy after all~ Still, Bee dying and being revived by the AllSpark look like a fun AU, so feel free to play with it :D)

But also this episode gives a huge insight why Megatron's cause went wrong, and I believe this is huge! Megatron had good intentions, but I think the main reason why failed and why the war turned to be so devastating - he surrounded himself worth wrong people!

People like him!

You can see what type of person Shockwave is, the very same as Mandroid and Agent Croft. The rich people how will sacrifice everything and everyone (esp those they believe are beneath them) to get all the power they want.

So even if Megatron wanted to help his people, Shockwave and likes of him ( bc I'm sure his presence attracted more ppl like him into deception ranks) doomed this from the very start. You cannot help the sheep, if your organization is filled with wolfs.

Sure, 'cons call Megatron a traitor, but I believe he is not a traitor. Megatron was surrounded by traitors.

Which makes me wonder, why Megs kept ppl like Shockwave around?

Did Megatron had the same bigoted believes as Shockwave? Tho this one maybe seem unlikely in this continuity. Megatron would need a lot more convincing than just a human showing compassion to his people.

Or Megatron was really attached to him, bc he's a friend and he was in denial that his friend is the same type of person he tries to fight against? And this was okay as long as Shockwave used this language against Autobots only ( bc this Shockwave looks like based on Marvel one if I'm not wrong) so he let it slide?

Which brings a cool parallel with Robby in the next episode, where this kid is willing to cut his friend off for shitty behavior directed at his family.

"If that's how Stevie gonna behave? He doesn't get me as a friend. That's his loss."

Which we can officially proclaim that his human kid as more guts than Megatron hah.

(Sidenote: I do appreciate that Stevie seem to had a change of heart or least he understood the gravity of situation and changed the graffiti after the confrontation. All changes matter, even small ones, which does serve remind for all us in real life. Even if it feel like it doesn't work.)

Also yeah, love the fact writers showing all sides diverse. There are terrible people everywhere, and people how will happily harness this fear and hate. But also there are good people, and people willing to change for the greater good, and it worth fighting for.

(Sidenote: tbh this makes me excited, because it is close how I'm writing the conflict in Sparkpulse! I wanna know who am I sharing the brain cell with? :D)

Agent Croft

Wow, those first character bios we saw before the show release didn't lie how evil she is. She's a rich military person, so it checks out. And I wanna point out, that she doesn't give a fuck about life as a whole. Not about cybertronians, not about humans, not about nature or even her home planet. Again, perfectly check out.

Episode 15 demonstrates it loud and clear. There things.

They look like a blend of organic and energon. And they can infect organic being to turn them into eldritch abominations like this!

(Sidenote: this is right my alley! Again, which writer shares the braincell with me??? XD Can't help it, I drawn to body horror)

And it doesn't look it was just a "careless waste disposal". Croft testing her biowepon in wild and mark my words: that's what gonna happen in the season 1 finale! I think the entire town will get infected, yes humans too. And we saw that afflicted can be saved, but even one bear was a struggle. Now imagine the entire army of infected humans.

I'm excited for this, can't wait to see if this a case or not~

Agent Schloder

He's a such a goof, but learning he's a brother of Croft was a whiplash for sure ahaha. Such drastic difference omg.

Despite all this, he seem to be a decent person? He doesn't look like seeking power like Croft and he actually cares about protecting people? But he also deeply brainwashed, and Croft making sure he doesn't see her dirty work.

So he's heart seems like in the right place, but misdirected. So I wonder what will happen if he ever finds out what his sister is doing behind his back? Because it appears that even half of GHOST isn't aware what really going on, huh.

Sure, it will be hard to convince him that not all freeroaming cybs are dangerous ( this shit really got internalized into him, attacking Bee even tho the yellow bot saved his life), but he cares about humans. And I think a lot of humans will be in danger in the finalle bc of Croft actions I mentioned above.

So, something tells me what the shit will do down, GHOST will split up. Can't wait to see this true aha.

Mandroid

Or specifically the WHOLE IRONY of his situation. He tells Hashtag that she can't control him, but at the same time, Croft has full power over Mandroid. Also yeah, he's is techorganic, or something, called it even back then~

The Terran Triplets

I love how this batch of common theme: the struggle with belonging. Jawbreaker, Nightshade and Hashtag share the same struggle, but it manifested in different way and required a different solution.

Jawbreaker thinking he's broken, because no vehicle alt-mode appeals to him. He wants to take the perfect pick, but he doesn't know what if it. And Hasgtag already picked hers!

Elita reassuring him, and even says she struggled with this too. He will know when he'll see his alt-mode. It's something you should never force it. Very sweet! And also seem a foreshadowing, I will mention later.

Nightshade struggles to find ppl with same interests as them, then finding this connection with Tarantulas! I love how Tarantulas explains the alt-mode. It's not a something completes you. Alt-mode is something that expresses who you already are. An extension of yourself. Which again, I smell foreshadowing I'll tell you later.

I hope we'll see Tarantulas later, I like liked him, even tho he's not like his IDW counterpart. But I have say, it so relieving to see a spider character that isn't inherently evil. I just love spiders)

Also, I just love Nightshade is like a Terran version of Wheeljack but with a different flavor ahaha. They both should hang out too, see how many explosions will happen. And poor Tarantulas in the middle xD

Hashtag was terrified by the anti-transformer rhetoric she experienced in Philadeplia and then got furious after seeing Bumblebee weak and hurt, which Mandroid exploited. She needed her family like never before and only reaching out and comforting her saved her.

"Home isn't a place. It's the people who love you."

Love and care is the main focus of this show after all, which I absolutely love!

Also, they all can channel the power from Emberstone! And seems like it can be powered by emotions, like the green lantern ring! I'm excited to see more!

Bumblebee

Oh yeah, we finally got to the last and my favorite part! Let's unpack this boy even further, shall we?)

His view on Decepticons

I like how in first batch it looked like Bee is against every decepticon out there, but the second batch shows more depth to this.

Bumbleblee has close relationship with Breakdown, and he still cares about him even despite being of different sides and willing risk his cover, and even picking up the racing car alt-mode he doesn't seem like to much... just to save him.

And, despite Bee being aligned with 'bots is a sore spot for Breakdown (looks like it was a choice between Bee and Stunticons, and he choose the latter. Yet, Bee still cares about him), he still cared for Bee to sacrifice himself. Bee has a family to look after and I'm sure he understood this as well ( maybe even saw a parallel with Stunticons?)

(And sadly, we see Breakdown's arm in the last episodes tho I wonder if they in stasis bc of energon loss, but idk. It's better to assume death, and but surprised later, than the other way around. Good thing Bee didn't see him, but something tell me he will find out eventually.)

Bumblebee also willing to give second chances, especially if his family ask for this. I love how quickly his expression changes. It goes from this, listening to Nightshade explaining the situation, while still not trusting Tarantulas.

To this is in a second! He's smiling, looking at Tarantulas.

Bumblebee could argue them, saying that he's still a con and all the cons do is to deceive, but no. He accepts their words as the truth and looks relieved that Tarantulas changed for better! Which i think that what Bee wants. He doesn't want deceptions to die, he wants them to be better.

And his reaction to the dead Brawl. He doesn't look happy, or bragging about it and finding this funny. No, instead he's grieving and probably feels guilty because he had no idea happened to those who lose in the ring, and he won against Brawl earlier.

So, I think we can safely call back to ep7 and conclude that "cassette exploding in SW's chest" was just about the cassette unwinding and all this tape flying everywhere, and not cassette dying.

Plus we know that Bee was born before war now. So this could happen even back then.

His feelings about his alt-modes

Episdoes 11 and 12 showed really good insight into Bumblebee's complicated feeling about his alt-mode. So Nova Storm calling him having" a mid-life crisis alt-mode" wasn't just a random insult.

In ep11 kids fins out how Bee looked, and absolutely being slayed by his cuteness. And I agree, he's perfect here!

And Bee's reaction? You would think he might get defensive, bc this form isn't as cool as his current one? But no! Look at his face!

He looks neutral, but with hint of nostalgia? Like maybe he's holding back to not appear sad in front of kids ( bc we know, he's scared to show vulnerability to others) and when asked why did he switch, he simply answers his disguise was revealed and needed the new one.

Which makes sense, as we will see later how bad this can be, and he's a spy, but wonder there is more to it?

Because when Jawbreaker asks Bee how did he choose his alt-mode, Bee deflects, saying he doesn't understand how his answer will help Jawbreaker. Which to me it looks like Bumblebee doesn't want to talk about it.

And when Jawbreaker says that he wants to get this right first time without making a wrong choice like Bee did, Bumblebee gets angry! JB accidentally hit the very sore spot for Bee!

And if you remember how both Elita-1 and Tarantulas talked about alt-modes? How you know when this right, and how it's a reflection of who you are, this creates a lot of possibilities. So far I think he picked the racing alt-mode only because he wanted to save Breakdown.

And he def loves his WV Beetle mode, and I wonder if this has a connection to Spike? We saw him in animated flashback, so I wonder if Spike is in the show and might show up later? Bee remember this mode fondly and get really upset when JB calls it "wrong choice" because of connection to Spike?

Or this can be a metaphor or simpler time Bee was having back then. Not dealing with terrible ppl among humans additionally to terrible ppl among cons?

I do hope Spike is out there. Maybe Spike thought that Bee was dead and they haven't see each other for 15 years? Imagine their reunion, and the fact Bee realized that Spike is older and maybe we will finally exploration of human mortality in canon! I though this can be the case in ep13 when Nightshade went to cemetery to meet their fav author, but nope.

Anyways, regardless what it is, I feel this is a big deal and we will see more of this! I hope he will change his alt-mode to something he likes!

His place in Malto family

We know how quickly Bee accepted Maltos as his family and in this batch I was so happy to see the other way, when Maltos caring about him! They love him, you have no idea how this relieving to me, after all those comics where Bee is consonantly alone!

Nightshade saying Bee is the best trainer they know and making their training device sounding like him.. even tho Bee is def mortified after breaking the thing that sounds like him, poor guy.

(Tho I wonder if this implies anything hmmm?)

Also Nightshade's "Woopsy-do~ It's malfunctioning!" just kills me xDD

And Dot, while scolding Bee for being reckless, she understands why Bee was doing this and is willing to help him. And Bee also realized he accidentally endangered his new family. Also Dot looks amazing in this outfit ahah.

And when Bumblebee doesn't come home everyone is upset, and Twitch is devastated bc her fears coming true. She doesn't want to lose anyone, even if it just means the person she cares about is alive, but can't return home anymore.

And they refuse to leave him in ep 18 even tho he's telling them to find Optimus and Megatron. I love this part of of the two-parter episode because Bee cannot fight anymore, but he puts his faith and trust into Terrans. He loves them, but he also knows what they are capable of and all this training weren't wasted.

This little touch, when Twitch hesitating to leave Bumblebee to help others with Hashtag. Her sister needs help, but her mentor is weak and wounded and it's hard to choose. Thankfully Bee's words were enough her to go to help her siblings. Still, her touch lingers as she leaves.

My heart of was absolutely melted! I'm so happy to see this, I hope Bee will get a big hug from all Maltobots!

I'm so glad Bee passed out because he was going to leave again! I guess he still think he puts Maltos in danger bc GHOST now know about him. Or maybe he even feel guilty he still got kinds into this mess, even tho he trust them to do the job?

At least kids just took him home omg. And it just so funny how they put Bee on Hashtag like this xDD

I can't wait to see the rest of the season 1 when they drop! This show is so, so good! There is probably more I could say, but I'm very tired, so that all for now. If you managed to get to this point, thank you for reading!

Have a nice time of the day and see you next time! <3

[raveneira]

Stop Lyin

'KawaSara fans just want everything to just be Naruto 2.0, they dont want anything new or different they only ship it cuz its like SS'

The same mfs sayin that:

Stfu, the only ones your fooling are yourselves, your just fine with Naruto 2.0, but only for the ships YOU want canon.

'B-but their a mix of multiple OG ships not just one so its different!'

Thats even WORSE, it makes them the most unoriginal ship and just a weird amalgamation of OG ships with nothing of their own, their just NaruHina, MinaKushi, ItaIzu, ObiRin, NaruSaku, SasuSaku, SasuNaru etc all over again, but yea you sure showed us about wanting 'originality' lol

And just to burst your bubble even more, your not special, and your point is invalid anyway because I didnt hear nothin about 2.0 in OG Naruto when these were happening but NOW suddenly its an issue.

But now suddenly its a problem, back then yall called it 'parallels' and 'foreshadowing' but for some reason conveniently when its KawaSara and BoruSumi suddenly its Naruto 2.0 and we need something different than past dynamics

BUT YALL HAD NONE OF THAT ENERGY WHEN NS WAS COPY AND PASTE OBIRIN/JIRATSUNA

NONE OF THAT ENERGY WHEN SS WAS JUST KAKARIN/DANTSUNA

NONE OF THAT ENERGY WHEN NH WAS JUST INVERTED MINAKUSHI

But god forbid KawaSara is just a little too much like SS or BoruSumi a little too much like NH, but Bsa being like [in your words not mine] literally every past OG ship is totally fine and the pinnacle of originality you all wanna see from the sequel, give me a danm break lol

What makes this even more pathetic is that Im not even exaggerating, they've gotten so blatantly hypocritical their even trying to use the Minato one-shot as foreshadowing for Bsa, keep in mind these are the same people who claim to want something new and different, are using a one shot set in the past for an OG ship that happened WAY before Bsa even existed all because of the vortex symbolism and the sequel just happened to have the name vortex in it they think its some kind of parallel/foreshadowing for the pair...which is utterly ridiculous but this aint the post for that, but just friendly reminder the Shippuden in the Naruto sequel meant Hurricane chronicles/legends and the Uzumaki clan has always been symbolized with whirlpools/vortex way before Boruto was even thought of, hell their clan symbol is a literal swirl like a vortex...nuff said, this aint the post to delve deeper into that.

Im mentioning this purely to point out the hypocrisy of wanting something 'different' yet using every possible OG thing thats even remotely similar to boost your ship and show how canon it is, yet KawaSara and BoruSumi cant because then its Naruto 2.0.

Their newest thing lately I've been seein the most is that BoruSara is like MinaKushi and NaruHina because Sarada stalks Boruto etc, so I thought I'd bring this reality check back since these same ppl talkin about other shippers just wanting Naruto 2.0 again.

Like I said, the only ones your foolin are yourselves cuz nobody buys your bs cuz everytime yall pull that card you put your foot in your mouth with all these 'parralels' that are suddenly ok now, but NOT ok when its any of your rival ships . Sit down.

PS: This aint the post to go into this either, but like I mentioned earlier that Bsa is actually the most unoriginal new gen ship, I could literally make a separate post showing how that is and how KawaSara and BoruSumi are actually the more unique ships of the options. You may have noticed I havent mentioned Ksu at all in this...thats because its a joke atp that I nor anybody besides their shippers take seriously, but if I must address it its literally just poorly done SS and SH with a dash of SK so why would I even bother with such a joke of a ship that exists solely to play keep away for Bsa but not because theres any legitimate basis in canon and thrives purely off headcanon and Hondas rewriting of events that amounted to nothing because, shocker, the manga wasnt building anything between them, so Honda created a completely made up foundation for nothing that they scrapped immediately and never acknowledged it again. So much for 'the anime is the complete version of the manga' yea funny how they backtracked alot of their mistakes when they saw the manga contradicting it, cuz at the end of the day the manga is the MAIN source material, so what happens there is more canon than anything the anime does afterwards.

[gachastranjr]

SPOILERS Genshin 4.0 Fontaine and Archon Quest

Warning: Spoilers, just in case you didn't see the first word. Also, bad bad words. Long loong rant

First of all, pretty region. Like really beautiful. Visually pleasing and a good time out from the desert which is not yet complete at all. Blue looks good with traveler ngl. I like it a lot. Although the aquabus is really slow, it's nice to be able to sightsee the area without monsters wanting a fight. Its a good way to introduce the region ngl.

Lyney and Lynette are lovely characters. Their designs have definitely upgraded from the first peek at them and I would be attempting to pull for Lyney. Also Freminet would be nice to have too. And same goes for the rest of other characters I don't have yet. I love the backstory. Dark and good set up ngl. Also I kinda want to see subtle parallels between the traveler twins and the Fontaine twins. Like talking about a "what if my twin sister got taken from me" moment on the aquabus. I see you.

Mr. Childe Ed Sheeran Tartaglia. Is it just me or is he talking just a bit faster? It's been a while since I last encountered this man so I don't even remember lol. This guy tho. Trouble. Thats all. Also yay, character lore but in dialogue. I lowkey missed him.

As someone who can't with awkward scenes despite being sort of awkward irl, that entire scene with meeting Neuvillette killed me. I thought the silence was just it but the following scenes is staight up stabbing me more than is necessary. Wth was that Paimon lol. Not Traveler asking Paimon to chat for him. Also I feel like Traveler's journey is mainly him becoming more expressive with his face. Forget abt the overarching story and the new things, I check out updates to see what new emotion Traveler has now.

I love Navia! She caught my eye the first time with her design and her personality+story is everything to me. I can't see me using her much gameplay wise. I'm not that fond playing with geo characters and I've already got a good enough Itto but I would still love to have her.

The archon is killing me like I'm not gonna lie she gets in my nerves although she is entertaining. She's funny and I like that she actually appears to her citizens and have a sort of connection with them unlike the other archons so far lol. Like fr, hiding from citizens for the first two, Ei was a tyrant at one point and Nahida was kept away because of her own ppl.

Furina I feel is like acting like a teen in highschool sort of which kind of matches if I'm correct that she is second youngest among the Archons. Like Nahida is curious like the youngest, Zhongli giving old man vibes fr, Venti is the always drunk adult, and Ei being like almost middle child energy or the one that enjoys holing up in their room. Well that is with what we have among the archons. Dont know much with Tsaritsa tbh and I don't even remember Natlan's yet.

I kind of enjoy how Neuvillette gets to call the shots and is sort of babysitting the archon then again Diluc has to deal with Venti and we have Yae pushing Ei to socialize. Nahida is fine, in fact, she's the one babysitting Wanderer. Anyway, Neuvillette, he is great. He reels in his archon instead of blindly following and actually is sane. Like I like him a lot.

I love Fontaine so far. I can switch between that and Sumeru desert. They're opposites and I can deal with desert much better like this lol.

[t4tails]

idk to be clear I agree with you and I hate the idea of like. being someone who sends anything close to "anon hate" but like. I also get if you don't want to answer this since one anon often opens the floodgates to more. But like- I agree with you but I also think, as another transmasc, there is a unique position you're put in as between both states that,,, makes me understand why people want a new word??? I don't think calling it transphobia is wrong, but like I do wish there was sometimes a shorthand for some of the specific ways I've been isolated from femininity but also not "a real man" that have to do with being transmasc. I am going to be thinking over your post for a long while bc I think it is really smart and makes me think abt the way trans men are impacted by misogyny and transphobia, but like. it is a unique way of being affected by both I think?? It feels sometimes like lumping that into a blanket category of transphobia diminishes the nuances of transmasc identity. then again, the kind of ppl who use transandrophobia tend to be lame fucking transmisogynists so like I will gladly be on the side of just calling it transphobia if it means not playing directly into transmisogyny and, half the time, just full out misogyny since their attitude towards women as a whole reveals itself pretty quickly.

i guess my problem is just WHY do we need a new word? transmisogyny is something tangible that has specific situations in regards to it. transandrophobia does not have those. notice that all the examples i gave wrt trans mens experiences with transphobia and misogyny are not unique. we dont really have any specific scenarios. the closest they ever get to being interconnected experiences is being misgendered which leads into misogyny. a new word would just divide us from our allies in these situations - other trans people experience the misgendering. women in general (both trans and cis) experience the policing of bodies, not being taken seriously, etc. id be more open to a new word if you could name a specific instance of trans men as a group experiencing something unique (that isnt just all of these instances put together lol. obviously different experiences added together creates a unique group, thats why the idea of trans men exists in the first place, but continuing with my transmisogyny false parallel, trans fems can typically point out times they have been subject to specifically misogyny, not being taken seriously due to presenting as a woman etc, transphobia, not being accepted by others like parents etc, AND transmisogyny, see discourse around "traps" etc. obvs ima trans man so if any trans women want to chime in here explaining what i mean thatd be great)