#is this me projecting bc i just reread fairest? yes

[4tarosho]

imagine if you read the lunar chronicles but started with fairest then the main series.

reading fairest, everyone already knows that she's the villain. when we see 15 year-old levana wake up from a nightmare on the day of her parents' funeral, we see an evil person. when you read that first part of fairest, you see a traumatized little girl that's being tormented by her sister.

as you begin fairest, you find out more about levana. how she's in love with a married guard, how she's scared of fire, how she's obsessed with the inner workings of her nation, how she longs to be in control of it, how she longs to be loved. you also see how she starts to have something like a friendship with evret. and after everything she's been through, you want her to become better. you want her to find love and be loved and grow past her trauma without hiding in someone else's face.

but then she forces evret to marry her and you realize she isn't a good person, that her dangerous thoughts can lead to dangerous actions.

however, after this, her life only becomes better. her sister is dead, she's the queen of luna, and she's in a (supposedly) happy relationship. and you think to yourself that maybe, maybe, she'll become better. she has everything she ever wanted. why would she harm anyone else to get what she wants?

but then she does it again. and again. and again. and at some point you realize that this is no longer the story of a girl who is trying to love and survive and heal. this is the story of a villain.

you start with cinder, where everyone describes levana as this cartoonishly evil villain. and you want to go inside and grab everyone and tell them that she's not evil, she's a hurt little girl who just wants to be loved. but you don't, because you realize that that is who she became. she is no longer your protagonist; she's now the antagonist, and you must learn to deal with it.

you then get to the end of winter, where levana is forced to meet the girl she spent decades trying to hide. and, in a sense, you're forced to meet her too. you wonder if things could've been different, if levana could've become the woman you initially wanted her to be. but then you realize that it doesnt matter. everyone must deal with the levana who has (and still will) kill(ed) to keep her control. at this point, there's no other levana that you can deal with. you can't see her as the little girl, you have to see her as the villain.