#is a product of its time. it's not gonna look the same as modern superhero costumes and like HONESTLY why are people finding it funny for

[volfoss]

I love complaining about meaningless shit but it makes me so frustrated to see comments (on the extremely rare occasions i go outside of my comics mutual circle) about the Robin costume and how it's so skimpy. Because of course people aren't treating it respectfully and are like omg he's not gonna be safe in the streets or what's that even covering up or just in general making it sexualized?? Like most Robins are yk preteens WHY are people so weird about it.

[rynnaaurelius]

I'd really love the sci fi reading list, if it's not too difficult! Thank you for your explanation

Yes! Okay, requisite this is Not Authoritative Or Comprehensive claim, I'm a dork with a Russian degree, but here we go:

(I tried to organize this chronologically because if I did it thematically we would be here all day. Also, I still have more books, but they get increasingly niche. This is a Greatest Hits playlist, and if you look these people up, you will find their contemporaries)

(Long list below the Read More)

Jules Verne — 80,000 Leagues Under the Sea, Journey to the Center of the Earth. Excellent continuations of that exploration/'ostracized' genius figure, so popular in the previous century. French, so English translations. Kinda marks the transition point between 19th c. pure spec exploration and what we would call sci-fi. BUT BEFORE HIM...

Mary Shelley — Frankenstein is probably the first sci-fi novel as we know it. BUT BEFORE HER...

Margaret Cavendish — Okay, the 'first sci-fi novel' is hard to define for obvious reasons, but The Blazing World has as good a claim as any. Published in the 17th c., so it really traverses the genres, but includes a utopian kingdom accessible via the North Pole. Her husband was so impressed that he composed a sonnet for her, which serves as the epigraph for the novel; it's a wild read in the same way Robinson Crusoe and other early novels are, and I'm mostly including it here because it's so, so wild to read in 2023.

John W. Campbell — That dude. The hero's journey guy. His short story Who Goes There? Has been adapted a million times into a little movie called The Thing. Unfortunately got really into race science, so Isaac Asimov told him to fuck off. Edited the magazine Astounding Science Fiction, which in 1939 published Black Destroyer by Alfred Van Vogt, usually cited as the beginning of Golden Age sci-fi.

H. G. Wells — Big critic of class divisions in Victorian English society, coined the term 'time machine' as we think of it in his novel...The Time Machine. A lot of what we consider 'classic' time travel tropes were, if not invented here, had their seeds planted here. Also famous for War of the Worlds, leading to a MINOR disturbance when Orson Welles did a dramatic radio reading.

Edgar Rice Burroughs — the man, the myth, the legend. If I could persuade you to read one white English sci-fi author with rather dubious politics, it would be him, if only because of how influential he was. Mostly famous for Tarzan, but he also wrote a whole series about Hollow Earth that crosses over with Tarzan at some point (Pellucidar), as well as the series Barsoom (A Princess of Mars and its sequels), and Amtor (Guy named Carson Napier gets transported to Venus, which was a watery hellscape, as was popularly theorized for a while).

They're basically pulp comics before pulp comics, published in magazines, extremely lurid and dramatic, and he did write his own crossovers. These were what the first modern superhero comics writers often grew up reading and what inspired them—John Carter's cultural cachet was borrowed by Superman until it became his cultural cachet.

They're very fun, but also supremely products of their time, and extremely fond of the British Empire.

Judith Merrill — prolific writer and editor, who also wrote one of my personal favorite reactions to the atomic bomb in Shadow on the Hearth.

Gabriel García Márquez — we're gonna take half a sidestep into magical realism here (which is, to define quickly, a genre incorporating the fantastic into otherwise realistic narratives, often formed and associated with decolonial and post colonial Latin American fiction, but not always. It's a fuzzy genre). He wrote in Spanish, but I read him in English. One Hundred Years of Solitude is probably one of the great novels ever written. My mother is also telling me to rec Love in the Time of Cholera and she wrote about the man, so listen to her.

Jorge Amado — the sixties were the big magical realism heyday. Amado was Brazilian and his Dona Flor and her Two Husbands is a book my Spanish high school teacher made me swear to read some day.

Andre Alice Norton — Deserves a spot for being one of the most prolific sci-fi authors of all time during a time when sci-fi was INCREDIBLY inhospitable to women. Over 300 books!

Robert Heinlein — This man is the poster child for "male author who writes groundbreaking sci-fi novels but cannot be normal about women with a gun to his head". The Moon Is A Harsh Mistress is excellent and incredibly important for how comprehensive the creation of Luna and its workers was, even if it is very sixties free love. Also wrote Starship Troopers, the novel.

Edward Smith — you haven't seen drama until you read what they said when Lensman (first book is Triplanetary) lost to Foundation for the Hugo in the sixties.

Larry Niven — Fleet of Worlds! Ringworld won a whole host of awards and deservedly so in 1970. Fair warning, his stuff decidedly falls under "hard" sci-fi (lots and lots of discussion for plausible alien artifacts), though it is awesome just in terms of how he can communicate scale. If you see a big ring-like structure in space, you can thank this guy, basically (the term ringworld comes from here). Also did a bunch of co-writing. I haven't read his other stuff, but CoDominium is on my list (he co-wrote it. First book is The Mote in God's Eye). If you liked the TV show The Expanse when it did the alien stuff and the later books it never got to adapt, you'll love this guy.

Samuel R. Delaney — Dhalgren is a book I am forbidding you to research before reading. Go in prepared. You have been warned. You will either love this book or set it on fire.

Stanislaw Lem — Solaris. I started this novel last week after watching the Tarkovsky film and. It's doing something to my brain, that's for sure. It's a book where I have to read every sentence twice. If you read it, find a good translation if you don't speak Polish. The author famously is very mad at critics who use Freudian analysis for it, so tread carefully (it's about the limits of rationality and our ability to understand, so. Fair).

Joanna Russ — The Female Man is a seminal work of feminist sci-fi. It's—fascinating, to be honest. Discusses socially enforced dependence of women on men and the creation of a different gender, a "female man", when the protagonist chooses to reject it and thus her socially enforced gender. I wouldn't call it a transgender manifesto (written in 1975, features insufficiently masculine men undergoing sex change surgery, so...yeah) but it definitely awoke something in my brain when I was 16 lol. I would LOVE to see it revisited in literary criticism from a modern perspective, especially from trans people.

C.J. Cherryh — If we talked about female sci-fi authors from the 1950s-70s writing under gender ambiguous aliases, we would be here all day, so I'm picking the one whose books I got for cheap at a book sale. Her Foreigner series has such a good premise with descendants of a lost Earth ship and interstellar court drama, and it's SO fun.

Poul Anderson — the name is not a typo, do not look up Paul Anderson, you will never find him. I actually have a copy of Three Swords and Three Lions currently collecting dust on my shelf and judging me right now as I wait to read it. Tau Zero is one of the greatest things I've ever read. The time dilation stuff gets kinda dense at times, but he incorporates some interest in his Swedish history and folk tales into it, and his explanation of travel at the speed of light and incorporating that into his discussion of nationalism is incredible. The ending where they survived [REDACTED] and landed on what may have been [REDACTED] has been bouncing around my brain for a bit now.

Laura Esquivel — Like Water for Chocolate is from the magical realism reading list.

Salman Rushdie — Midnight's Children is one of those bucket list books, for better or worse. Recontextualized Indian independence from the British and the Partition through framing of a husband telling the story to his wife, as he actively tells the story to her. Really uses the fantastical versus the real w/history versus truth so well.

Nancy Farmer — The Ear, the Eye, and the Arm, for the kids lying about their age on Tumblr dot hell. Three kids try to escape a kidnapping after sneaking out—in 23rd century Zimbabwe. With the help of three mutant detectives. It rules.

Ben Okri — Okay, I have not read his stuff yet, but it is on my list. Other people here have discussed his influence on them in post colonial sci-fi. His big one is The Famished Road, first in a trilogy, and renowned for its discussion of the spiritual and realist world coexisting in African animist spiritual life.

Nnedi Okorafor — I have read one of her short stories, Remote Control, and currently have an book list with her other stuff on it. Other people I know vouched for her work. She specifically writes Africanfuturism and Africanjujuism centered around her Nigerian background, and follows on from the likes of Okri and Octavia Butler. I'd also add if you're a Stephen King fan when he's in Dark Tower mode, she's probably gonna have things that appeal to you.

Mentions that are absolutely influential but don't need explaining on this website: Franz Kafka, Ursula K Le Guin, Douglas Adams, N. K. Jemisin, Ray Bradbury, Arthur C Clarke, Isaac Asimov, Frank Herbert, Alduous Huxley, Philip K. Dick, Orson Scott Card, Kurt Vonnegut, George Orwell, Octavia Butler, Neil Gaiman, Toni Morrison.

(to be clear: you SHOULD read them, but you probably know who most of them are and/or why they're big deals. Most of them are also incredibly prolific, and explaining their bodies of work are other posts. Trying to make a list about other folks)

For more on Afrofuturism,(not to be confused with Africanfuturism), I recommend the shit out of Afrofuturism: The World of Black Sci-Fi and Fantasy Culture, full of short stories and guides to art and music. I, alas, lack similarly useful authoritative guides to other genres, but I have read that one, so wanna toss it out there. There's so much.

[ellasadventuresinfandoms]

Okay, back in May @isolatedphenomenon asked me if I had an les mis fic recs and I went "oh boy do I !" and then promptly fucked off and disappeared from tumblr for like 6 months...

Anyway on the off chance people are interested, here is my vastly too long list of  my favourite les mis fanfic (that I'm almost 100% sure I'll have accidentally missed some of my favourites off of...)

The vast majority of these are main pairing Enjolras/Grantaire, so I've put those first, divided into multi-chaptered and then one-shots. Below that will be other pairings!

Multi-chaptered

• Witch Boy Series : magic AU, starting with Grantaire solving Enjolras' curse - this is just Incredible world building which gets better as it goes on - my favourite is the Babet interlude

• World Ain't Ready : you know how fandoms tend to have a fic that is just associated with it ? in my experience, for les mis this is it - and well deserved ! High school, fake dating AU with some of the most engaging writing

• BE : Enjolras is dragged back into theatre production, helping Eponine put on a production of Hamlet - really love the characterisation in this, and this is really one of those modern AUs that actually feels like real life - really good writing

• After the End : the definitive apocalypse AU in my eyes - les amis are an underground resistance to the dystopian government - really wonderful characterisation of Grantaire and the amis

• You never have to wonder; you never have to ask. : I tend to find fic by scrolling through bookmarks of a pairing, which means I often see repeats; this is a fic that if I see I just re-read cause I know I'll enjoy it - the amis sparked a failed rebellion, and now 18 months later Grantaire ends up staying at Enjolras' after returning to Paris for Marius and Cosette's wedding

• Your Heart on Your Skin : Soulmate AU with flower tattoos marking important emotions and events - wonderful concept and world building 

• Impatient to Be Free : Daughters of Bilitis AU - if that doesn't make you excited I don't know what else to say to convince you (aside from saying the author is a simply wonderful writer)

• You Dance Dreams : Okay. Not to be over dramatic, but this fic did genuinely qualitatively change my life, in that it was the first thing that got me looking up contemporary ballet and now that's like one of my favourite things and big hobby So. Also its really great writing; music/creative arts school les amis with Grantaire choreohraphing the ballet for Combeferre's opera, with a heavy emphasis on Grantaire realising he really never actually got over Enjolras

• philia : this one is an absolute classic to me, but not given nearly enough recognition - one of the more realistic college AUs ever written, and the writing of Grantaire is so good because it hits the perfect balance of sympathy and annoyance about his behaviour (that's a genuine compliment) 

• Coffee Hooligans : fucking tragedy this never got properly finished, Enjolras leads the amis as social justice vigilantes and tries to hide the criminal bits of his life from R

• Fighting the Hurricane : Pacific Rim AU that's less an AU and more just placing the les mis characters in the Pacific Rim universe. Really good and riveting read, also super interesting depiction of Grantaire

• Weaving Olden Dances : Fairy AU - Grantaire "claims" Enjolras to prevent his execution - really good writing, love Grantaires characterisation 

• Paris Burning : canon era (sort of) where cities have a physical being - Grantaire is Paris and becomes entangled in Enjolras' revolution - oh the world building is truly *chefs kiss*

• Euphoria is You For Me : Enjolras and Grantaire keep meet cuting in a wonderfully written Brooklyn - feels like a love letter to Brooklyn at times, and I really like the characterisation of Grantaire 

• so please just fall in love with me this christmas : Enjolras works for the environmental company Grantaire volunteers at, and keeps getting secret gifts at Christmas - I sound a little like a broken record but the Grantaire characterisation is very good

• You Are the Moon : Wild West esque Space AU - Grantaire has to call on the amis to help rescue Valjean and Cosette, despite Grantaire leaving the amis 6 months before. On re-reading the Enjolras characterisation feels a little rushed, but overall fantastic story telling and the Grantaire arc is a Delight 

• Pandemos : Enjolras is aphrodite, and seeks peace from all his suitors in R/Hephestus' cave

• Pining for You : Hallmark christmas romance - Grantaire returns home to work on his father's tree farm, and Enjolras is the lawyer helping prevent the farm being sold - cute as shit imo

• Once We're Kings : Fantasy AU - a country hosts a ball to marry Prince Enjolras and the rival country sends Grantaire as a fuck you - one of the best ways of doing Enjolras as a prince in a fantasy and just really nicely written

• Never Bitter and All Delicious : Fairy Godmother AU - yes really, yes its genuinely a very good read

• On One Condition : Fantasy AU - Enjolras is a bored knight who finally goes to check out the local dragon, which turns out to be Grantaire - I really like how they capture Enjolras' stubborn nature and it's such a well written soft growth of love between them

• That's How Easy Love Can Be : Les Amis work at a primary school; and its secret santa time! very fun portrayal of Enjolras

• The Lark and Her Lieutenants : re write of canon where Cosette is the leader of the revolution - just *chefs kiss*

• If You Tickle Us, Do We Not Laugh : Grantaire is Enjolras' secret android - really good at writing a relationship that's incredibly loving but just keeps being antagonistic and coming off wrong 

One Shots

• True Colours : AU where you leave colours on the people important to you - Enjolras and Grantaire falling for each other is so soft and gently written its lovely, this is genuinely one of my favourites

• Keep It Kind, Keep It Good, Keep It Right : this one is so good to me, because it builds off my pet hatred of everyone assuming Enjolras doesn't care about (or at least actively show he cares about) his friends

• blooming : very soft post-dystopian utopia that has just a really wonderful sense of hope and light to me

• and the wall leaned away (or: The Pros and Cons of Tilling) : perfectly realised characterizations of the amis, Grantaire needs a date to her final year art exhibition - deals with anxiety over protest in a way that actually hits for me

• not just one of the crowd : R helps run a leftist bakery and bike repair shop - very cute characterisation, and I think more les mis fanfic should link to anarchist essays

• Lovesickness : Enjolras is an idiot and thinks he's sick rather than having a crush - the writing of Joly and Combeferre in this is some of my favourite depictions of these two

• If there's a rocket, tie me to it : absolutely heartbreaking sci-fi AU about the amis as doomed mecha pilots

• Where I Fall is Where I Land : Enjolras is a Roman commander as Rome's power is leaving England, and then meets the pict Grantaire (+ fun soulmark stuff !)

• You Started Foreign to Me : Enjolras moves to america and R is the overnight grocery clerk who helps her learn Spanish - cute fluffy lesbians with a wonderfully written driven Enjolras

• Love Is Touching Souls : very cute soulmate AU - and one I really love for really truly considering the implications of soul marks and creating historical lore around it

• Ten Years : R is a musician, and it non-linearly charts his relationship to Enj from high school to 10 years later

• put up with me then I'll make you see : Grantaire lives above Enjolras, and its christmas - I find it to have a very fun interpretation of pining Enjolras

• A Cat Called Trash Can : this was one of the first les mis fics I ever read (yes I know it says it was published in 2020, but I think it has to be a re-upload or something?) and it does still have a special place in my heart - Grantaire rescues a cat, but Enjolras is the only one with an apartment free to look after it 

• Still I'm Begging to Be Free : inception AU where les amis have to rescue a sleeping R from his own brain

•I'm in it for You : cw: illness, cancer - R has cancer and is being a martyr about telling his friends so Enjolras drives him back from chemo

• walls come tumbling down : sky high au - a very good high school AU with the perfect level of campy superhero powers

• This brave new world's not like yesterday : Enjolras needs a job, so ends up working in a bowling alley with Grantaire and bonding

Enjolras/Grantaire/Combeferre

• In Defiance of All Geometry : les amis are a student co-op house, Enjolras and Combeferre are pining friends and Grantaire is the newbie

• Still the Same : this is very good writing and very compelling - if you can get over the (imo) plot hole of Enjolras working for the FBI. R was an art thief Enj put away and is briefly helping the FBI out, and Combeferre is Enjolras' husband

• To Kingdom Come : cw: war and PTSD from that, Enjolras and Combeferre are part of a group of refugees that have crossed into a more fantasy land, and Grantaire is a lone traveller from that land that attempts to help - that was a shit summary of this very emotional, wonderfully written fic about war and love in all forms

• Gonna need (a spark to ignite) : I always love a twist on a classic trope, and this is a very fun take on the soulmate AU - Enjolras loses feeling in his soul mark as a child, falls in love with Grantaire and then his soulmate, Combeferre, turns up

Eponine/Cosette

• Pretty Girls Don't Know the Things That I Know : simply stunning writing - perfect example of soft writing about a harsh world

• she knows her way around : Eponine and Cosette bond, ostensibly so Eponine can find out about her for Marius, and their interactions are so playful and realistic, its wonderful

• always find me floating on oceans : Cosette stows away on Eponine's pirate ship - I do always have a soft spot for eposette fics (not just cause I ship it) because they truly characterise Cosette in a really considered and interesting way

• There's No Making Love : I'm putting this under eposette even though there is some significant enjolras/grantaire content, because the Cosette characterisation is so fun and cute

• round and round again : this fic really beautifully translates Cosette's bad childhood and then isolated teenage years, and the impact that would have on her as an adult into a modern AU

• Underwater Thunderheards : this is based off the book The Scorpio Races, and is just a really nice short fic  about longing

• How To Change The World Without Taking Power : Marius has a crush on Cosette and she's tried being polite and subtle in turning him down, so just ends up fake dating Eponine instead

• blood red fruit and poison's kiss : Snow White AU - Cosette as Snow White

• The Winters Cannot Fade Her : Snow White Au 2.0 - Eponine as Snow White - this was written as a pair to the one above which is just so cute to me

• marriage à la mode : Cosette and Eponine run a bridal shop together and it's very cute !

• Temporary Hold : I personally find this a really fun and very unique take on Cosette - with exams coming up she decides she needs to get laid on the reg and so hits up Eponine to act as if they're already long term girlfriends

Combeferre/Courfeyrac

• better than you had it : fake dating but kick it up an emotional notch - Courf and Ferre pretend to still be together after breaking up for a family event

• take flight, come near : nice and cute low fantasy, where Combeferre runs a dragon sanctuary and Courf finds an injured dragon

Rare Pairs

• The Future's Owned by You and Me : cute Enjolras/Feuilly with actual radical politics and real life organising difficulties and wins

• First Dates and Other Dangers : Combeferre and Grantaire agree to go on a blind date and it's awkward until it isn't - just cute !

• after midnight : Combeferre has insomnia and meets Grantaire in various all night fast food chains

• as you are : Bahorel and Jehan getting ready together

• Almost Romantic : Jehan works at a museum, and takes Combeferre on a little tour

• Understudy : Jehan/Combeferre, with Combeferre's insecurities regarding being seen as second best to Enjolras

• Here There Be Dragons : Courf/Enj/Ferre - Courf and Enj are superheroes and Ferre is the doctor that patches them up

• To Let it Occur (Laisser Faire la Nature) : Feuilly has a stupidly long stopover in Paris and meets Enjolras

• rule of three : Courf/Enj/Ferre as spies and loving boyfriends

• Good Rhetoric : snapshots of cute cuddly courf/enj/ferre

• subluxate, dislocate, replace : found family and chronic illness with Joly/Bossuet/Musichetta

• Strike stone, strike home (like lightning) : so this fic took one minor piece of lore about Tolkien's dwarves and made a beautiful j/b/m fic from it

• Almost Inevitable : Bahorel/Feuilly friends-with-benefits

• god only knows (what I'd be without you) : Bahorel/Feuilly with a closeted Feuilly and a beautiful Feuilly and Eponine friendship

[spongebob-connoisseur]

the hype for sponge out of water felt so surreal? idk how to explain it but it was such a fun time waiting for it to come out i felt like a whole lot of people talked about it anyways i remember the first time i went the theater was packed dfjlksjdl also it was nice to know a movie that was majorly 2d was a box office success

Yeah! This ask hit me like a truck. I forgot all about that. There was a lot of hype. I think because it was such a huge gap from when the 1st movie came out. People were certain it was just rumors. Especially since there was rumors since 2010 that there was gonna be a 2nd movie. It just didn't seem realistic so people were blindsided by sponge out of water.

But theres also another reason. It was peak modern spongebob hating era. Around the time when it was confirmed there will be a 2nd spongebob movie was also the time when the most popular thing in the SB community was talking about how modern spongebab is bad and you shouldn't like it. And how nick was evil greedy super villains who should have ended it when Hillenburg wanted. Praise be to our god Hillenburg. About the same thing we have now except back then, the middle era was the modern era. And this was all new.

You could easily build yourself a large audience by talking about how spongebob is bad now and it was what pretty much every cartoon reviewer was doing. It was practically unavoidable to find a meme of people wishing Hillenburg would come back.

And the 2nd movie was confirmed to have Hillenburg come back. It basically raised hype for any cynical classic fan.

It's funny looking back on it now. People were definitely weary about the movie being cgi and having superheros but they were still open to watching it. Was it out of nostalgia? Was it hope that Hillenburg would bring in a new era? Or maybe just wanting to see our little sponge boy on the big screen. Honestly it made a lot of people hopeful and optimistic and I kinda miss that.

I remember watching the movie twice because I loved it so much. Both times the theatre was still practically full which is crazy.

It wasn't perfect as the first, definitely flawed but I'm also still surprised by the fan reactions. It wasn't perfect but people found it amusing and fun. It was mostly 2D and was a pleasant surprise. Absolutely wacky and unusual but endearing. People viewed it as the beginning of a new era of spongebob and if this movie proved likeable then there's hope for the series and people embraced it.

Its interesting. I definitely see a lot more hate for the 2nd movie as of recent. Mostly from people who don't remember the era of when the movie came out but eh, it doesn't matter. For the time that it did come out, it was special and I still think it is special. Not to mention, like you said. It was a mostly 2D box office success. Thats not even imaginable now. It was pretty much unimaginable then. Which is probably why they spent so much time using the CGI moments for promotions.

And the movie's success was enough to have the 3rd movie announce it's production just a few short weeks after the 2nd movies release. But that's a whole different story.

[somethingusefulfromflorida]

Pixar Films

I dislike Disney as an entity; it is an evil corporate conglomerate that makes focus-grouped schlock to appeal to as wide an audience as possible at the detriment of story.  That said, Pixar was once the greatest animation studio on the planet.

Keep in mind, these are movies for kids, so anything negative I say will almost certainly be rebutted with “you’re just old and you don’t like Disney because it’s popular and you’re a hipster and you’re not even the target audience anyway so shut up.”  I’m just giving my two cents, whatever that’s worth.

I’m not gonna rate them on a number scale, I’ll just tell you how much I would or would not recommend watching them.  Some are must-see-cinema, others are bland and skippable affairs that you should not feel obligated to watch just because it has the Pixar brand on it.

Let’s start from the very beginning (a very good place to start)

Toy Story (1995) Groundbreaking, the first feature length 3D animated movie, spectacular cast, great story, though a little wonky by today’s standards both in the visuals (though that’s just a product of the times) and in the characterization (Woody is kinda of a jerk in this one; he was worse during pre-production, so this is the tame version).  Pixar started off on the right foot.  Would Recommend

A Bug’s Life (1998) This has some flaws, but is still a really fun movie.  Not as good as Toy Story, but infinitely better than Dreamworks’ knockoff Antz.  Great ensemble, memorable characters and set pieces, really funny.  Would Probably Recommend

Toy Story 2 (1999) An excellent sequel, they knocked it out of the park with this one.  It’s surprisingly deep, exploring concepts like the inevitability of change; nothing lasts forever, you can’t keep kicking the can down the road forever.  The journey is finite, but that doesn’t make it worthless.  Would Definitely Recommend.

Monsters, Inc. (2001) To date, their best original movie, maybe even better than Toy Story 2.  Everything about it is perfect; John Goodman and Billy Crystal have great chemistry, Steve Buscemi plays the perfect sleaze, Boo is just adorable, it’s an excellent movie.  Would Definitely Recommend.

Finding Nemo (2003) This is a beautiful movie; they had to invent new animation techniques to make it look this good, new ways for light to bounce and diffuse through the fishy medium.  Amazing story, absolutely heart wrenching at points, hilarious at others, without feeling tonally dissonant.  Would Definitely Recommend.

The Incredibles (2004) Another home run, they’re just showing off at this point.  This is a much deeper and arguably darker story than any of their previous films.  It doesn’t pull any punches and explores adult concepts like mid-life crises, extramarital affairs, death (oh, so much death; red shirt mooks and civilians alike).  This may be my favorite (definitely top 3; I’ll expand the list below).  Would Definitely Recommend.

Cars (2006) A competent movie, though by Pixar standards it’s not quite up to snuff.  Not bad, by any means, but this one is the most blatant cash grab of them all, just a commercial for hot wheels and die-cast toys.  I have a soft spot for it because this is the one I’ve seen the most; my mom would turn on this DVD to keep my baby sisters occupied, so it was literally always playing in our house.  That said, I’m not nostalgia blind; it has good parts, but it’s not great.  Would Probably Not Recommend.

Ratatouille (2007) C’est Magnifique!  Patton Oswalt does a fantastic job, I identify with Linguini on a spiritual level, the human characters are all perfectly demented and the rats are equally so.  I love this moral; anyone can be successful, it’s about who you are not where you come from.  Funny and relatable, an all around feel-good movie.  Would Definitely Recommend.

WALL-E (2008) Top 3, hands down, this is a true work of art, a modern masterpiece.  A film mostly devoid of dialogue, it expresses so much emotion from how the characters carry themselves and react physically to their surroundings.  The body language, the color choices, the camera work (especially in the space dance sequence), just how RAW everything is, how grounded it feels, how fleshed out these little robots are..  I Cannot Recommend This Enough, Watch it Right Now. Now. Why Are You Still Reading This?  Now! Go Watch it Then Come Back.  Even if You’ve Already Seen it, Go Watch it Again.

Up (2009) Another near perfect installment under Pixar’s belt.  They’ve really nailed the art of opening scenes; Carl and Ellie’s love story moves me to tears, it is so beautifully portrayed.  Some of the characters can be a tad annoying and overly cutesy to sell merchandise, but the story never suffers from it.  The villain actually feels like a threat, there are stakes, and the image of a house sitting by a waterfall and the story connotations thereof are indescribably bittersweet.  Would Definitely Recommend

Toy Story 3 (2010) This is is sort of hit or miss.  It’s a very well made movie, and an excellent CONCLUSION to the Toy Story franchise (Conclusion: noun, the end or finish of an event or process).  I liked it, felt it really wrapped things up in a satisfactory way, but it’s not better than Toy Story 2 in my mind.  I feel like this was a turning point for Pixar; after this, they were never quite the same, never really bounced back.  May or May Not Recommend, I’m on the Fence

Cars 2 (2011) You don’t give the comedy relief their own movie.  That’s storytelling 101; the comic relief bit-character can rarely stand on their own and meaningfully carry a story, though corporations are laughing all the way to the bank as I say this because these types of movies keep making boatloads of money even if they suck.  Minions made bookoo bucks, the Pirates of the Caribbean series is still ongoing despite the loss of Bloom and Knightly (and bringing them back for the last one doesn’t really count because Depp is still the main character), Cars 2 is a corporate cash grab, and devoid of artistic merit; this is my first hard no.  Would NOT Recommend.

Brave (2012) This is not a Pixar film, it is a Disney film that they decided to make under Pixar’s name instead because they knew Pixar had enough good will and positive connotations to get people into seats regardless of story.  It’s not terrible, but it’s not great.  That’s the story of modern Disney; not terrible, not great, just okay because that’s all it needs to be.  People will watch it no matter what, so they put in the bare minimum amount of effort so nobody can say they suck at making movies again (because for the longest time in the early 2000s, they did suck; Dinosaurs, Home on the Range, Chicken Little).  Would Not Recommend.

Monsters University (2013)  Why did you do this, Pixar?  Why did you take one of your best movies and do this specifically to it? Nobody asked for this, nobody wanted this.  I can only applaud them for having integrity enough to NOT give people what they wanted; people wanted a sequel, and that would have bee terrible.  You can’t follow up on Monsters, Inc, it had a perfect ending, it was hopeful and heart warming and definitive.  A prequel is the only thing they could have made without messing up the ending of the original, so I’ll give them some credit for that.  It’s not good.  Would Not Recommend.

Inside Out (2015) Their best one since Toy Story 3.  Not terrible, I actually liked a lot of things about this one.  I like it when Pixar takes on more serious subject matter, and I thought they did a good job exploring how a kid would react to such a drastic lifestyle change.  The cast was good, the animation was fun (inside Riley’s head; outside was generic and samey).  Not bad Pixar, not bad at all.  Would Probably Recommend.

The Good Dinosaur (2015) It doesn’t matter what i think because this movie still made hundreds of millions of dollars.  Disney is losing no sleep over this.  Would NOT Recommend.

Finding Dory (2016) Again with the continuations!  This was better than Monsters University, but the original was still such a hard act to follow.  It had potential, and I liked how it respectably handled mental illness in a way that was easy for kids to understand without dumbing it down and underplaying its significance in the lives of those who it effects.  I think Marlin kinda regressed, having to relearn what he already learned in the first one. The hardest I laughed was during the climax, the truck chase scene, “It’s a Wonderful World,” just amazing.  Would Probably Not Recommend

Cars 3 (2017) I hope Disney was happy with this end product.  I hope the producers really enjoyed cashing their toy checks for this one.  I thought it was worse than Cars 2, but I can see why some people might like it more.  Either way, it’s worse than Cars 1, which wasn’t particularly great anyway.  Would NOT Recommend.

Coco (2017) I’m on the fence with this one.  It was beautifully made, and the songs made me cry, but it’s hard for me to look at this movie without judging it as a product made by a focus group of mostly white people.  By itself it’s a good movie, but when you know how the Disney sausage is made it feels disingenuous and calculated.  Might Recommend, But it Had Some Baggage

The Incredibles 2 (2018)  I am Boo Boo the Fool, Pixar suckered me and I fell for it.  I was legitimately enthusiastic for this one because the original is one of their best, and unlike Monsters, Inc it actually left room for a sequel.  It had so much potential, and big shoes to fill, and it did so in the most generic Disney way it could.  Like Brave it wasn’t terrible, but it wasn’t great either.  Middle of the road, some things were fun, others made little sense, it was “appealing” in that it literally appealed to as wide an audience as it could without alienating anyone by doing anything particularly risky.  I liked Voyd, I liked how Helen became the main character, I liked the villain twist; I did not like how easy it was to make superheroes legal again.  It felt like it was tacked on at the end, like he just says “and there we have it, they’re legal again, congratulations,” like he was announcing the winner of the Price is Right.  Would Probably Not Recommend

Toy Story 4 (2019) I want to be clear that I made a point not to pay money to see many of the previous films on this list.  If I thought they were going to suck, I waited until a friend bought it and saw it with them for free.  This one, though, I was forced to pay for because my mom insisted on seeing it in theaters as a family.  It wasn’t terrible.  Wasn’t great.  Wash, rinse, repeat.  It was the same villain again; Stinky Pete, Lotso, Gabby-Gabby... I can’t wait for the fifth one where the villain is an old toy who is mad because they weren’t played with.  Buzz was made much dumber for this one, and I felt they didn’t do enough with Forky.  I was excited to see how they handled the existential aspects of the series; what makes a toy? How are toys sentient? Why are toys sentient? In the first movie Woody implied that there were rules that toys were honor bound to follow, so what is stopping Forky from blowing their cover on accident?  None of these questions were answered.  I liked Keanu Reeves, I didn’t like Key and Peele.  Would Probably Not Recommend.

The mighty have fallen.  It’s just sad. 

”Onward” looks kinda dumb, like a kiddy version of the flop Will Smith movie “Bright.”  I have no faith in this production company anymore, but I’m sure it will make hundreds of millions of dollars; the cast are fan favorites, including Disney’s favorite topical pet celebrities (because let’s be honest, Disney basically owns Tom Holland at this point.  Whether they own Spider-Man or not, they own Tom Holland, he is theirs, his soul contractually belongs to them).

Speaking of souls, ”Soul” will probably go over well with critics, though I can’t help but notice that their main character of color is transformed into a non-human for most of the movie.  Again.  I’m also not a fan of this one-word naming convention Disney has fallen into in the last decade.  “Brave” was originally titled “the Bear and the Bow,” but one-word titles seem to test well with kids.  Hopefully this will pass, but I’m not holding my breath.

I’m swearing off Disney movies, firsthand.  I might catch them second hand, through friends or other means, but I refuse to give this corporate conglomerate one more penny.  They basically own Hollywood, so my money will eventually make my way into their pockets, I just want to put as much distance between them and myself as possible.  No more Pixar, no more Star Wars, no more Marvel, no more Disney.  I am one drop in the bucket, I will not be missed, and they will not be affected in the slightest by my absence, but I need to prove to myself that I have integrity enough not to keep funneling my hard earned cash into a trillion dollar snack company.

Disney movies are snacks, not meals.  And I’m going on a diet.

Anyway, here’s my top three:

Monsters, Inc

The Incredibles

WALL-E

[buzzdixonwriter]

Sci-Fi And The Sincerest Form Of Flattery

I know many of you prefer “science fiction” or “science fantasy” or “speculative fiction” or “sf” or even “stf” for short, but I ain’t that guy…

I’m a sci-fi kinda guy.

I prefer sci-fi because to me it evokes the nerdy playfulness the genre should embrace at some level (and, no we’re not gonna debate geek vs nerd as a descriptor; “geeky” implies biting heads off chickens no matter how benign and respectable the root has become).

. . .

A brief history of sci-fi films -- a very brief history.

Georges Melies’ 1898 short A Trip to The Moon is one of the earliest examples of the genre, and it arrived full blown at the dawn of cinema via its literary predecessors in Verne and Wells.

There were a lot of bona fide sci-fi films before WWII -- the Danes made a surprisingly large number in the silent era, Fritz Lang gave us Metropolis and Frau Im Mond, we saw the goofiness of Just Imagine and the spectacle of Things To Come and the space opera appeal of Flash Gordon and Buck Rogers.

And that’s not counting hundreds of other productions -- comedies and contemporary thrillers and westerns -- where a super-science mcguffin played a key part.

That came to a screeching halt in WWII primarily due to budget considerations and real world science easily overtaking screen fantasy.  Still, there were a few bona fide sci-fi films and serials during the war and immediately thereafter, but it wasn’t until the flying saucer scare of the late forties that sci-fi became a popular movie genre again (and on TV as well).

Ground zero for 1950s sci-fi was George Pal’s Destination Moon, which was an attempt to show a plausible flight to the moon (it was actually beaten to the screens by a couple of other low budget movies that rushed into production to catch Pal’s PR wave for his film).

This led to the first 1950s sci-fi boom that lasted from 1949 to 1954, followed by a brief fallow period, then a larger but far less innovative second boom in the late 1950s to early 1960s.

BTW, let me heartily recommend the late Bill Warren’s magnificent overview of sci-fi films of that era, Keep Watching The Skies, a must have in any sci-fi film fan’s library.

Seriously, go get it.

Bill and I frequently discussed films of that and subsequent eras, and Bill agreed with my assessment of the difference between 1950s sci-fi and 1960s sci-fi:  1950s sci-fi most typically ends with the old order restored, while 1960s sci-fi typically ends with the realization things have changed irrevocably.

In other words, “What now, puny human?”

I judge the 1960s sci-fi boom to have started in 1963 (at least for the US and western Europe; behind the Iron Curtain they were already ahead of us) with the Outer Limits TV show, followed in 1964 by the films The Last Man On Earth (based on Richard Matheson’s I Am Legend), Robinson Crusoe On Mars, and The Time Travelers.

But what really triggered the 1960s sci-fi boom was Planet Of The Apes and 2001: A Space Odyssey.  The former was shopped around every major Hollywood studio starting in 1963 until it finally found a home at 20th Century Fox (whose market research indicated there was an audience for well-made serious sci-fi film and hence put Fantastic Voyage into production).  Kubrick, fresh off Lolita and Dr. Srangelove (another sci-fi film tho not presented as such), carried an enormous cache in Hollywood of that era, and if MGM was going to bankroll his big budget space movie, hey, maybe there was something to this genre after all.

From 1965 forward, the cinematic space race was on, with 1968 being a banner year for groundbreaking sci-fi movies:  2001: A Space Odyssey, Barbarella, Charly, Planet Of The Apes, The Power, Project X, and Wild In The Streets.  (Star Trek premiering on TV in 1967 didn’t hurt, either.)

And, yeah, there were a number of duds and more than a few old school throwbacks during this era, but the point is the most interesting films were the most innovative ones.

Here’s a partial list of the most innovative sci-fi films from 1969 to 1977, nine-year period with some of the most original ideas ever presented in sci-fi films.  Not all of these were box office successes, but damn, they got people’s attention in both the film making and sci-fi fandom communities.

=1969=

The Bed Sitting Room

Doppelganger (US title:  Journey To The Far Side Of The Sun)

The Gladiators

The Monitors 

Stereo 

=1970=

Beneath The Planet Of The Apes [a]

Colossus: The Forbin Project 

Crimes Of The Future 

Gas-s-s-s

The Mind Of Mr. Soames 

No Blade Of Grass 

=1971= 

The Andromeda Strain 

A Clockwork Orange 

Glen And Randa 

The Hellstrom Chronicle 

THX 1138 

=1972=

Silent Running 

Slaughterhouse Five 

Solaris [b] 

Z.P.G.

=1973=

Day Of The Dolphin

Fantastic Planet 

The Final Programme (US title: The Last Days Of Man On Earth)

Idaho Transfer 

=1974=

Dark Star 

Phase IV 

Space Is The Place 

Zardoz 

=1975= 

A Boy And His Dog 

Black Moon 

Death Race 2000

Rollerball

Shivers (a.k.a. They Came From Within and The Parasite Murders)  [c]

The Stepford Wives 

=1976= 

God Told Me To [a.k.a. Demon]

The Man Who Fell To Earth 

=1977=

Wizards

[a]  I include Beneath The Planet Of The Apes because it is the single most nihilistic major studio film released, a movie that posits Charlton Heston blowing up the entire planet is A Damn Good Idea; follow up films in the series took a far more conventional approach to the material.  While successful, neither the studio nor mainstream audiences knew what to make of this film, so 20th Century Fox re-released it in a double bill with another problematic production, Russ Meyer’s Beyond The Valley Of The Dolls, and holy cow, if ever there was a more bugfuck double feature from a major studio I challenge you to name it.

[b]  Other than Karel Zemen’s delightful animated films, Iron Curtain sci-fi films rarely screened in the US, with the exception of special effects stock shots strip mined to add production values to cheapjack American productions (looking at you, Roger Corman).  Solaris is the exception.

[c]  David Cronenberg made several other films in this time frame, but most of them were variations on the themes he used in Shivers, including his big break out, Scanners.  Realizing he was repeating himself, Cronenberg reevaluated his goals and started making films with greater variety of theme and subject matter.

. . .

The astute reader will notice I bring my list to an end in 1977, a mere nine-year span instead of a full decade.

That’s because 1977 also saw the release of Close Encounters Of The Third Kind and Star Wars.

The effect was immediate, with knock-off films being released the same year.

1978 saw Dawn Of The Dead, a sequel to 1968’s Night Of The Living Dead, and Superman, the first non-campy superhero movie aimed at non-juvenile audiences.  

1979 gave us Alien, Mad Max, and Star Trek: The Motion Picture.

These films were not just successful, they were blockbusters.

And none of them were original.

Close Encounters served as an excuse to do a Kubrick-style light show; plot and theme are about as deep as a Dixie cup, and of all the blockbusters of that era, it’s the one with no legs.

Alien’s pedigree can be traced back to It! Terror From Beyond Space (and It’s pedigree goes back to A.E. van Vogt’s “Black Destroyer” and “Discord In Scarlet” in the old Astounding Stories) and Demon Planet (US title: Planet Of The Vampires) by way of Dark Star (Dan O’Bannon writing the original screenplays for that film and Alien as well).

Mad Max, like 1981’s Escape From New York, differs from earlier post-apocalypse movies only insofar as their apocalypses of a social / cultural / political nature, not nuclear or biological weapons.  Mad Max, in fact, can trace its lineage back to No Blade Of Grass, which featured it own caravan of refugees attacked by modern day visigoths on motorcycles, and the original Death Race 2000, as well as an odd little Australian non-sci-fi film, The Cars That Ate Paris.

Not only was Dawn Of The Dead a sequel, but it kickstarted a worldwide tsunami of zombie movies that continues to this day (no surprise as zombie films are easy to produce compared to other films listed here, and while there are a few big budget examples of the genre, the typical zombie movie is just actors in ragged clothes and crappy make-up).

Superman was…well…Superman.  And Star Trek was Star Trek.

And the granddaddy of them all, Star Wars, was a cinematic throwback that threw so far back it made the old seem new again.

Not begrudging any of those films their success: They were well made and entertaining.

But while there had been plenty of sequels and remakes and plain ol’ knockoffs of successful sci-fi movies in the past, after these seven there was precious little room for anything really different or innovative.

1982’s E.T. was Spielberg’s unofficial follow-up to Close Encounters.

1984’s Terminator consciously harkened back to Harlan Elison’s Outer Limits episodes “Demon With A Glass Hand” and “Soldier” (not to mention 1966’s Cyborg 2087 which looks like a first draft of Cameron’s film)

All innovative movies are risky, and the mammoth success of the films cited above did little to encourage new ideas in sci-fi films but rather attempts to shoehorn material into one of several pre-existing genres.

Star Wars = space opera of the splashy Flash Gordon variety

Star Trek = crew on a mission (Star Trek: The Next Generation [+ 5 other series], Andromeda, Battlestar: Galactica [4 series], Buck Rogers In The 25th Century, Farscape, Firefly [+ movie], The Orville, Space Academy, Space Rangers, Space: Above And Beyond, plus more anime and syndicated shows than you can shake a stick at)

Superman = superheroes (nuff’ sed!)

Close Encounters / E.T. = cute aliens

Alien = not-so-cute aliens

Terminator = robots vs humans (and, yes, The Matrix movies fall into this category)

Escape From New York = urban post-apocalypse

Mad Max = vehicular post-apocalypse 

Dawn Of The Dead = zombies

Mix and match ‘em and you’ve got a nearly limitless number of variations you know are based on proven popular concepts, none of that risky original stuff.

Small wonder that despite the huge number of new sci-fi films and programs available, little of it is memorable.

. . .

It shouldn’t be like this.

With ultra-cheap film making tools (there are theatrically released films shot on iPhones so there’s literally no barrier to entry) and copious venues for ultra-low / no-budget film makers to show their work (YouTube, Vimeo, Amazon Prime, etc.), there’s no excuse for there not to be a near limitless number of innovative films in all genres.

But there isn’t.

I watch a lot of independent features and short films on various channels and streaming services.

They’re either direct knock-offs of current big budget blockbusters (because often the film makers are hoping to impress the big studios into giving them lots of money to make one of their movies), or worse still, deliberately “bad” imitations of 1950s B-movies (and I get why there’s an appeal to do a bad version of a B-movie; if you screw up you can always say you did it deliberately).

Look, I understand the appeal of fan fic, written or filmed.

And I get it that sometimes it’s easier to do a knock-off where the conventions of the genre help with the final execution.

But let’s not make deliberate crap, okay?

Oscar Wilde is quoted as saying “Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery” but he was quoting somebody else, and that wasn’t the whole original quote.

Wilde was quoting Charles Caleb Colton, a dissolute English clergyman with a passion for gambling and a talent for bon mots.

Colton’s full quote:   “Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery that mediocrity can pay to greatness.”

Don’t be mediocre.

Be great.

   © Buzz Dixon

[branlovestowrite]

Reunited: A Stucky Story

I recently fell down the Stucky wormhole after @dracosollicitus started posting her Stucky WIP What’s Left of Kisses (side note, go read that when you’re done here). I’ve read a lot of Stucky stories in the past two months, but I couldn’t find one that had them reuniting in a modern-day, non superhero setting. After a while I decided I should write it myself. I added in Shuri/Bucky BroTP because I LOVE them as besties, as well as a little Jessica Jones/Bucky Barnes friendship because I love JJ and want her in all the Marvel stories. And of course, the women of Marvel ship Stucky and take measures to throw them together. This is my first Stucky story, and, if it’s a ship you’re into, I hope you’ll like what I’ve come up with.

Title: Reunited

Rating: T for mild language and brief mentions of sex

Summary: Bucky Barnes never thought he’d see his childhood best friend, and source of his first heartbreak, Steve Rogers ever again. He is thrown for a loop when Steve ends up working for one of his new clients. What happens now that these boys are together again? Can Bucky finally overcome his nerves and confess his true feelings to Steve?

Also on AO3

On a typical Wednesday morning, Bucky Barnes walked into work, completely unaware that by the end of the day, his life would change forever. That morning had seemed like a normal day in the office. The coffee was stale, the old donuts sat untouched and unmoved, and Shuri was teasing him just like she did every day. “Hey Bucky!” she yelled from across the room. “Yes?” He asked, the corners of his mouth twitching with amusement as he approached their shared workspace. Shuri’s brown eyes sparkled with mirth. “Peter and I are in an argument-” “More like a disagreement,” Peter interrupted, his head poking above the cube wall. “An argument,” Shuri continued “about what dating was like before cell phones. I figured you could help me settle it.” “Really?” Bucky raised his eyebrows in response. “I’m not that much older than you guys. I got my first cell phone in high school.” “But that was old tech,” Shuri clarified. “No dating apps; limited texting. What did you do when you had to… call… people?” She said the word ‘call’ as if it offended her. “I don’t know,” Bucky replied, “I just called them.” He dropped his messenger bag to the floor and sank into his desk chair. “What even is this argument about?” “I say people didn’t… have sex,” Peter explained, a flush rising up over his cheeks and ears. “I mean, that is, they didn’t have sex as soon. They waited longer. Since, you know, they weren’t sexting or sending-” he cut himself off as the remainder of his face turned the same shade as a tomato. Shuri gave an exasperated sigh. “Dick pics, Peter. The phrase is dick pics.”

Bucky groaned and hung his head, his chin length hair falling around his face. “You know, we are working…” “Anyway! I say that even if they couldn’t send dick pics, people still found ways to get nasty because people have always found ways to get nasty.” “What did I just walk in on?” Shuri’s brother, their boss and owner of the company, T���Challa walked up with a concerned look on his face. “Do I need to call Okoye?” “No, please, sir,” Peter fumbled. “Ha!” Shuri laughed. “Peter’s scared of HR!” “I’m not scared of HR; just Okoye. She can be so tough!” “Please make them stop,” Bucky pleaded, turning to T’Challa. Their boss only laughed in return. “If you find a way to make my sister stop, Barnes, you come let me know. I haven’t found one yet.” He walked on, continuing his morning lap of the office. After a minute, as Bucky was bringing up his email, Shuri pushed her chair over to his desk. “So, old man, what did you guys do?” Bucky stopped his perusal to reminisce. He remembered rushing home to get to his computer and see if Steve was online. They would chat for hours via AIM, unless one of them had to get off the computer so a parent could use the phone line. When they each got cell phones they would call each other at 9:00pm sharp, when minutes were unlimited, and talk until one or both of their phone batteries died. A flush grew on his cheeks as he remembered the not-so-innocent turn their conversations sometimes took. While he never did anything explicit with Steve, he thoroughly remembered some of the thoughts he’d had during those conversations; thoughts he’d been too afraid to express. And the things he did with other people, in an attempt to get Steve out of his head. “Shuri’s right.” He said, looking at Peter. Shuri smirked conspiratorially. “Oooo… Bucky got nasty!” “That’s all I’m saying,” Bucky replied, turning back to his screen. Bucky worked for Wakanda Tech, or WT as the employees called it, a startup taking the corporate communications world by storm. T’Challa inherited the company from his father, but most of their recent products came directly from Shuri’s designs. She was a wunderkind, with an innate understanding of technology that put people twice her age to shame. And somehow she managed to combine her technical ability with a personality that was warm and engaging. It was impossible not to like Shuri. Bucky considered himself lucky to have landed a position at WT. Most of the employees were in their early 20’s. He was a random outlier, having met Okoye, their director of HR, at a job fair for veterans. Okoye was not your typical HR rep. She had a strict no-bullshit policy and had no issue with calling out her employees when she felt they were in violation of that. But she was also fiercely loyal and dedicated to the success of WT, having grown up alongside T’Challa. Okoye had an eye for talent, and she saw something in Bucky, even if he didn’t really see it himself. He worked as a implementation manager, helping get new clients on the platform once they’d purchased a license. Bucky had an eye for organization, a direct result of his military training. His personal life might be a mess, but he knew how to get other people in order. Once Shuri and Peter settled their dispute, the office became quiet, although a hum of anticipation still hung in the air. Today was a very important day for WT. T’Challa had been in discussions with Tony Stark about bringing their product to Stark Inc. If they landed this contract, there would be a huge bonus for everyone. Negotiations were almost complete; Stark was coming by later to hopefully sign the final documents. Bucky couldn’t calm the anxiety that crept up his spine. He never liked brash, overcompensating men like Stark- or at least the way Stark was portrayed in the media. When he was younger, he’d stopped more than a few of those types from beating Steve to a pulp. He’d learned to live with them in the Army, being surrounded by meatheads who preened like peacocks to hide their insecurities. He’d had his fill of guys like that during his time in the service, and did his best to avoid them now. Unfortunately, there was only one other Implementation Manager at WT, Peter, and he was too green to take on the Stark job. Like it or not, Bucky would have to be in the room with Stark later that day, and he’d most likely also have to suck up to the man. His stomach roiled and he skipped lunch, hiding out at his desk while he nibbled on a few crackers.

The day kept moving like a freight train, and, before long, it was time. The quiet, efficient atmosphere of WT was turned on its ear when Tony Stark walked in. Bucky watched from the safety of his desk as Stark was greeted by T’Challa. “Mr. Stark,” the always professional entrepreneur began as he shook Stark’s hand. “No no,” his guest interrupted, “if we’re gonna work together, you gotta call me Tony.” The man spoke his words in a rapid clip, as if he didn’t have time to breathe properly between syllables. “Very well, Tony: welcome to Wakanda Tech.” T’Challa gestured proudly around the office. “Small operation you got here, huh?” “We believe in a flat organization structure, to maximize efficiency.” “Great use of buzzwords there, pal,” Stark replied, placing his hand on T’Challa’s shoulder. Shuri chose that moment to stand from her desk and extend her own hand to Bucky. “Shall we go in?” “Do I have to?” Bucky whined petulantly. “Yes!” she scolded, looking much older than her 22 years. “Get off your ass and come with me.” Bucky straightened up and grabbed his tablet, standing to follow the younger woman. They headed to the conference room and made it inside just before Stark and his entourage entered. “This must be Shuri!” Stark exclaimed, greeting the lady on question with a hug. Shuri halfheartedly returned the gesture before pulling away with a smile. “It is good to meet you, Mr. Stark.” “I already had this conversation with your brother. Call me Tony.” Shuri smiled politely in response and then turned to Bucky. “This is James Barnes. He is the Implementation Manager that will be working on your account.” “Jamie!” Tony said, patting the other man on the shoulder. “Tony,” Bucky returned with a bemused smirk. “Finally someone who gets it,” Tony said with a smile. He turned to the people surrounding him. “Allow me to introduce Pepper Potts, my right hand and the only reason I have any success in this world.” A tall, willowy redhead nodded her head toward Bucky and Shuri. “And this is Rhodey, my other right hand and best friend in the world.” The man in question smiled tensely at the group. “And finally, this is-” “Steve,” Bucky said in awe, looking up at the last member of Stark’s party. “Steve Rogers, from my legal team,” Tony filled in, a little deflated. “I’m sorry,” he said, pointing between them, “do you two know each other?”

“Bucky and I go way back,” Steve said, his smile still as devastating as ever. He flashed his blue eyes at Bucky, and the other man felt himself get weak in the knees. “Bucky?” Tony asked with a smirk. Bucky grimaced. “My full name is James Buchanan Barnes… but my friends call me Bucky.” “Splendid!” Tony said. “You didn’t tell me you knew someone who worked here, Rogers.” “I didn’t know I had a connection,” Steve replied warmly, still looking at Bucky. “It’s been a while since we talked.” Bucky gave Steve a shy smile. “A lot has happened since we last saw each other.” They stood like that, staring awkwardly at one another while butterflies danced in Bucky’s stomach. Finally, T’Challa intervened. “Shall we get started?” he asked as he gestured toward the table. Bucky wasn’t sure how he made it through that meeting in one piece, but, in spite of the awkwardness he felt, the meeting was a success. Stark seemed keener to sign the contract knowing there was a personal relationship between a member of his staff and someone at WT. As soon as the meeting adjourned Steve pulled Bucky aside.  

“You look good, Buck.” “Thanks,” Bucky said, refusing to meet the other man’s eyes. Steve had changed so much since he’d last seen him, He was at least a good foot taller, with much broader shoulders. Bucky had to actively try not to drool. “You do too, but… I thought you were smaller.” Steve chuckled and scratched the back of his neck. “I had a growth spurt right after I moved away.” “You look… really good,” Bucky said. He took in Steve’s chest and thick arms that filled out his jacket just right. His mind wandered to the last time those arms had been wrapped around him in a hug, when Steve was thinner and shorter. He couldn’t help but wonder how it would feel now to have them wrap around his body; to get lost in that strong embrace. “Bucky?” Steve asked, meeting the other man’s eye. “Huh? Yeah?” Bucky came back to himself with a jolt, cursing his train of thought. “You wanna get a drink later? Catch up?” “Yeah,” Bucky replied as a brilliant smile bloomed across Steve’s face. “Yeah, I’d like that.” Steve gave Bucky his card, adding his personal cell number and making Bucky promise to call him. Then he had to go, and Bucky was left standing there, feeling dumbstruck. He heaved a sigh the moment the room was clear. He was so, so screwed. ~/~ “What the hell was that?” Shuri asked the moment he got back to desk. “What are you talking about?” “Um… how about the way you eye-fucked Stark’s lawyer the entire time? Although it seems to have worked in our favor. We should pimp you out more.”

“I did not ‘eye-fuck’ anyone,” Bucky protested. “Steve’s just an old friend.” “Right… ‘friend.’ You know, it’s 2019. You don’t have to use euphemisms anymore.” “I’m not covering anything! I’ve never tried to hide my sexuality. But Steve was never like that. We grew up together.” “From the way you were looking at him, it seems like homeboy ‘glowed up.’ You gonna go for it?” “Nah. Steve’s not into guys. He’s a heterosexual, all-American boy,” Bucky replied, unable to hide the tinge of sadness in his voice. “You might want to reconsider that opinion,” Shuri replied. “What makes you say that?” “Because he spent the entire meeting looking at you the same way you were looking at him.”

This new information distracted Bucky for the rest of the day, and he had trouble focusing on even the most basic of tasks. Finally, at 4:55, he decided he couldn’t do anything else, and began to pack up. As he flipped through his portfolio, the business card Steve had pressed into his hand fluttered to the ground. Before he could retrieve it, Shuri scooped it up.

“Steve Rogers gave you his card, did he? And he wrote his personal number on there?”

“Yeah… he mentioned going to get a drink.”

“So call him!”

“Yeah… I will. Just… I need some time. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen Steve. A lot’s changed. I’m not the same kid I was in high school.”

Shuri’s gaze softened and she placed a gentle hand on Bucky’s shoulder. “I think the issue is actually that you’re a lot more like that kid than you realized, and seeing an old friend brought it all back.”

Bucky huffed a sigh and gave her a wry smile. “As usual, you prove how much smarter you are than me.”

“You heading out. Bucky?” Peter asked, poking his head over the cube wall once more.

“Yeah Pete. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Actually, would you be free to head over to Nick’s with me? I wanted to ask your advice about something.” His gaze shifted to Shuri and he gave a scowl “ Away from interfering parties.”

Bucky laughed. “Alright Pete, yeah. Let’s do it.”

~/~

Steve Rogers was an adult. He’d graduated early from Harvard Law and landed a lucrative position at Stark Inc. before he’d turned 25. So influential was he in that role that he’s ended up becoming one of the principal members of the legal team at the company 18 months later. Steve was on lists like “30 under 30” and he didn’t like to brag, but he was considered in some circles to be a ‘big deal’. So why did he currently feel like a nervous teenager waiting by the phone?

He’d tried to play it off, but seeing Bucky earlier that day had thrown him. Bucky had been his best friend for the majority of his young life. He brought school work when Steve was sick and sat by his bed, helping to keep him entertained. As they got older, he’d helped protect Steve when he got into fights he couldn’t finish. He’d been there in good and bad times. Losing Bucky in his life was a blow Steve had never really recovered from.

After the meeting, he’d wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of the day catching up with his friend, but there was too much to do. He cursed himself for not getting a commitment to meet the other man somewhere later on. Leaving the planning up to Bucky filled him with anxiety. Steve did not like to wait. He was not a waiter. He was a doer.

At five-o'clock his phone finally rang, the caller an unknown number. He felt his heart pounding in his chest as he pressed the ‘accept’ button.

“Bucky?”

The voice on the other end of the line gave a dry laugh. It was definitely female, so not Bucky. “No, this is Shuri.”

It took a moment for his brain to catch up with the name. “Oh, yes, from WT, right?” It was a bit strange that she was calling his personal line, but he wasn’t going to be rude. “How can I help you?”

“This isn’t business related, Mr. Rogers.”

“Please, call me Steve.”

“Yes, Steve,” she replied. “I thought you might want to know where Bucky Barnes is heading for an after work drink.”

“Oh, well if he wants me to join him, I’m sure he’ll call me and give me the place.” He pulled his phone away from his head to look at the screen, silently hoping there would be another incoming call.

“No, Steve, I don’t believe he will. I have worked with Sergeant Barnes for two years, and I know when he is vacillating. This is one of those times. He needs a nudge in the right direction.”

“I don’t know if that’s really-”

“Trust me Mr. Rogers, he would not call you of his own accord.”

This felt wrong to Steve, a violation of his old friend’s privacy. “I mean, if he doesn’t want to call me, he doesn’t have to. I’m not going to force him if he doesn’t want to.”

“No, he wants to. Of that I am sure.”

“What’s your aim here?” Steve asked, his tone changing as his suspicion rose. He didn’t want to insult the young woman, but he was starting to wonder why she was so invested in telling him where Bucky was going to be.

“I don’t mean any harm. I only wish to see my friend Bucky happy, and I know he’ll talk himself out of calling you if left to his own devices.”

Steve sighed as he took in her words. He wanted to believe that Bucky was more confident than that, but the last time he’d been in contact with his friend, he’d had the same impression. “Tell me.”

She gave him the name and address of the bar where Bucky was heading.

“Are you sure he’s gonna be there? Maybe he’s just going home?”

“He’ll be there. Our coworker Peter is going with him to make sure.”

“Is everyone at WT in on this?”

He could practically hear her smile on the other end of the line. “Just get there, Mr. Rogers. As soon as you can.”

~/~

Seeing Steve earlier in the day brought back a flood of memories for Bucky. Steve had been his best friend for his entire childhood, all the way through to the summer before their junior year of high school. He and Steve did everything together. They grew up alongside one another and had been closer in many ways than Bucky was to his own flesh-and-blood sibling.

But Steve was more than just a brother. He’d been Bucky’s first love. At the same time that he was just starting to realize his sexuality, he simultaneously realized that he was head-over-heels for Steven Grant Rogers.

When they were younger, Steve had been overlooked by nearly everyone. He was the smallest kid in class and had a slew of health problems that were the likely culprit for his stunted growth. Most prominent was his asthma, followed closely by a spinal curvature that led to him wearing a back brace for a few years. He had poor eyesight with color blindedness, which he wore thick glasses to help correct. And he had a weak immune system that caused him to get sick, and therefore miss school, all the time.

None of the other kids wanted to play with Steve. They were irritated with his inability to keep up when they ran. Or how he would break into a coughing fit in the middle of a dare, freaking everyone out with the fear that one of their cohorts might actually die from one of their stupid stunts.

Bucky was the opposite of Steve. Rambunctious and outgoing, he’d been friends with nearly everyone. He always had kids asking him to play. But Bucky only ever wanted to hang out with Steve.

He couldn’t remember the exact moment he’d first felt drawn to Steve. Bucky had known the other boy since the first grade, but they weren’t in the same class until the third grade. Because they lived in the same building, Bucky would often bring homework for Steve to do when he was out sick. At first, Steve’s mom had just expected Bucky to leave the work and run off, as other children must have done, but Bucky was precocious little fuck.

“How’s Stevie doin’ Mrs. Rogers?”

“Oh,” she’d replied, genuinely surprised at his question. “He’s getting better. He’s in his room, but he’s up and reading.”

“Can I go say hi to him?”

“Sure. Let me just poke my head in and let him know you’re here.”

Steve had seemed just as surprised at Bucky’s appearance as his mother, but welcomed the company.

“Whatcha readin’?” Bucky asked, pointing to the comic book in Steve’s lap.

“Oh, um… X-Men.”

“Killer! I like X-Men too! Who’s your favorite? I like Wolverine.”

Steve smiled at Bucky then, a real, genuine smile, and launched into a diatribe about how his favorite was Professor Xavier because even though he was in a wheelchair, he was one of the most powerful of the X-Men, but he still used his power for good, taking in young mutants and helping to guide them.

From that day forward, Steve and Bucky spent almost every afternoon together, talking about comics, movies (they once had a very heated debate about which trilogy had the superior Harrison Ford performance: Star Wars or Indiana Jones), and, when they were older, girls.

One afternoon, when they were 12 and sitting in Steve’s room, the blond turned to his friend and very innocently asked “You ever kissed a girl, Buck?”

“Yep,” Bucky replied nonchalantly, only half listening while he flipped through a comic book.

“What?! No way! When did this happen? Why didn’t you tell me?”

Bucky looked up at his friend and cringed. “It’s not my proudest moment.”

“When was it?”

“At Sharon Carter’s last birthday party. She wanted to play ‘spin-the-bottle.’”

Steve got a dreamy look at the mention of Sharon’s name. It was hardly a secret that he had a thing for the girl. She was kind to Steve, but had no inclination toward him. Steve had actually been invited to that party, but hadn’t been able to go because he was recovering from a wicked bout of bronchitis.

He looked back to Bucky with a goofy smile. “Who’d you kiss?”

Bucky’s face went red at that.

“Who was it?”

Bucky bit his lip for a moment, deliberating what to say, before finally deciding on the truth. He never usually kept secrets from Steve, and this one had been eating him alive. “I kissed Sharon.” He watched in horror as his friend’s face fell. “I’m sorry man!” Bucky continued. “I know you like her, and I didn’t want to, but the bottle landed on me when she spun it, and it was her birthday party, and I didn’t want to reject her in front of everyone.” He huffed a breath as he paused.

Steve, being Steve, gave him a gentle smile. “It’s okay, I get it.” His smile broadened into a grin. “How was it?”

“Kind of embarrassing,” Bucky admitted with a groan. “We went into a closet, and I was so nervous that I just barely gave her a peck. I couldn’t touch her because my hands were so sweaty. I didn’t want to gross her out.”

“Well maybe there’s hope for me yet.”

“As long as you can kiss better than I did.”

“Doubtful,” Steve snorted. “At least you’ve kissed someone once. I’ve never kissed anyone.”

Bucky got a wild idea then, and didn’t have the good sense to censor himself before blurting it out. “Wanna practice on me?”

“What?” Steve’s face was a mixture of shock and confusion.

“I mean, we’re buds, right? Let’s just practice with each other. Make us more ready when the next time comes.”

“Um… okay.”

Although his first kiss was technically with Sharon, Bucky always considered his kiss with Steve to be his first true kiss. It ignited feelings in him that he didn’t quite understand. He had a hard time looking at Steve the same, once he knew how soft the other boy’s lips were.

Steve eventually did get to kiss Sharon. Despite her initial reluctance, she decided to give Steve a chance and they even went steady for a few weeks in the eighth grade. But beyond that, Steve never had much luck with girls.

He remained smaller than all the other guys in their class, and ended up being the target of more than a few bullies. But Steve was scrappy. Although he was small, he could take a hit, and refused to run or stand down when confronted. Bucky always teetered on the fine line between when to let Steve stand up for himself and when to intervene to make sure Steve didn’t get seriously injured.

Bucky continued to hang out with Steve, even as he was taunted for it by the more popular kids in high school. He didn’t really care what anyone else said. Steve was his best friend.

One night during freshman year, when they were talking on the phone, Steve was whining to Bucky about how he would never have a shot with another girl in his life.

“You’re great, Stevie,” Bucky’d said, more than a little annoyed with the situation. “The right girl will come along eventually. She’ll see all the good in you and not worry about the other stuff.”

“I wish I could find a girl just like you, Bucky.”

That caused a lump to stick in Bucky’s throat. He’d decided to never tell Steve how he felt, knowing that Steve didn’t reciprocate his feelings. Bucky was terrified of destroying their friendship. He swallowed thickly before replying. “You do?”

“Yeah. You’re my best friend, Buck, and you always see the best in me. I’m so glad I have you.”

“I’m glad to have you too,” Bucky choked out in response. He’d almost decided to confess his feelings then, but Steve sighed and changed the subject before he had a chance.

“What about you, huh? I heard Lori’s got a thing for ya’.”

“Well, um… I think I might be gay,” Bucky replied, in lieu of confessing. He had been deliberating for some time on how to share this with Steve. He knew Steve, and knew his friend would never reject him, but, nevertheless, he braced himself for a bad response.

“Oh yeah?” Steve simply replied, and Bucky was immensely relieved to hear the smile in his friend’s voice.

“Yeah,” he sighed in relief.

“Okay man, cool. You got your eye on anyone, or just been thinking this for a bit?”

“Just been thinkin’ it,” Bucky admitted, not quite ready to tell Steve that he only had eyes for his best friend.

That had been the extent of Bucky’s coming out for another year, before he finally confessed to his parents and friends. He ended up going on a couple dates, had a few kisses, but never dated anyone seriously until after Steve moved.

The summer before their junior year, just after Steve turned sixteen, a bomb dropped in his world. His father, who had left his mother heartbroken when he was just a baby, suddenly died. Steve was shocked to learn that his dad had left him a house and a sizable amount of money. The house was in Indiana, and he was contacted by the grandfather he never knew he had to come out for a visit.

That summer ended up being a turning point for Steve. He got into a medical trial that ended up helping him overcome several of his physical ailments. Sarah went out several times to visit her son, and ended up really liking the area. When the summer ended, Steve’s grandpa asked if they would consider moving there. The house was nice, and Sarah would be able to make more money as a nurse if she wasn’t paying rent. And Steve wanted to get to know his family. His only concern was leaving Bucky.

“Come on, man,” Bucky’d assured him. “We got lots of ways to stay in touch. You ain’t getting rid of me.”

So Steve had gone, and although he never said anything, Bucky’s heart broke that day.

At first, they’d stayed in touch much the same way they had during the summer, through email, phone calls, and instant messaging, but, as the school year progressed, they began to drift apart. Steve had new friends. Since he wasn’t sick all the time and missing out on everything, he had an easier time meeting people. It was a fresh start for Steve, and Bucky didn’t want to keep his friend from his new social circle.

So, instead, Bucky dealt with his heartbreak in self-destructive ways: drinking heavily, experimenting with drugs, and losing his virginity to a random encounter at a party. He had lots of sex during his last two years of high school, with boys and girls. The further Bucky fell down the rabbit hole, the less he would talk to Steve. In the end, he screwed his grades up so bad that he barely graduated and didn’t have any college offers or scholarships to speak of. Directionless, he’d opted to enlist in the Army.

Enlistment had been the final thing to sever his connection to Steve. They had separate lives, and Bucky just assumed there was no chance he’d ever run into the other man again.

~/~

Bucky sat in the bar, trying not to lose his shit on Peter. He really did like the younger man, but he could be a bit over eager at times, like a puppy. Today seemed to be one of those days.

Peter got up to head to the bathroom, and Bucky decided to approach the bartender and order something harder than the beer he’d been nursing. As he stood there, waiting for his drink, he heard a surly voice speak from behind him.

“Barnes.”

“Jones,” he replied, turning to face the newcomer. Bucky liked Jessica Jones, even if she was an acquired taste. She was a PI that he’d met in this very bar, when she’d caught him on a date with a cheating husband. Jessica didn’t want to blow her cover, but after she had the pictures, she pulled Bucky aside and clued him in. Bucky had no idea his date was married, and thanked God that he hadn’t slept with the man.

“What are you doing here?” Jessica asked, the hint of a smile playing across her face. “I haven’t seen you in a while.”

“Yeah, I haven’t been going out much. It’s cheaper to drink at home and don’t have to wear pants.”

“Can’t argue with that logic.”

Bucky considered her for a moment. Her dark hair hung down past her shoulders, and she was dressed in her usual armor of a t-shirt, jeans, boots, and a leather jacket. But something was different. It could have been a trick of the light, but she seemed to have taken a little more care with her makeup. Her brown eyes looked bigger than usual thanks to her artful eyeliner. And she wore a dark lipstick that set off her creamy skin beautifully.  “Something’s changed about you, Jones. What’s going on?”

She schooled her features and gave him a stern look before breaking out into a full-on grin. Bucky couldn’t stop his small gasp when she smiled. She was truly beautiful, but her usually sour disposition tended to put people off.

“Okay, who are you and what have you done with my friend Jessica?”

“Shut up,” she replied, shoving his shoulder. “I’m on a date.” She nodded her head to the table behind her, where a gorgeous man with tan skin, jet black hair, and a neatly trimmed beard sat, watching them with interest.

“Damn girl,” Bucky replied, looping her arm with his own. “Does he swing both ways? Cause if so, send him my way when you’re done with him.”

“Oh fuck off, Barnes,” she laughed, freeing her arm.

Bucky relaxed for the first time all day, forgetting his nerves about Steve in his excitement for his friend. “You look good, Jess. Happy.”

“Thanks.” She glanced at something just over Bucky’s shoulder. “Well, I just wanted to come say hi since I haven’t seen you in a while. I’m gonna go back to my date and let you get back to yours.”

“Oh, no, I’m not on a date, just here with Pete from work.”

“Yeah?” She leaned in close and whispered as quietly as she could in the din of the bar. “Then who’s the blond beefcake two stools down who keeps staring at you?”

Bucky turned his head suddenly to see Steve sitting there, wearing a smirk and looking positively delicious. He’d removed his jacket and unbuttoned the top three buttons of his shirt, exposing the hollow of his throat. Bucky bit back the sudden urge to trace the other man’s adam’s apple with his tongue. “Oh my God… that’s Steve. I didn’t call him. How’d he know I was here?”

“That’s Steve?” Jessica asked, and Bucky automatically hissed at her to keep her voice down. He had shared the story with her one night over drinks, and she knew all about the torch he carried. “Well, Mazel Tov and all that,” she said with a wink. “Let’s get coffee sometime and you can tell me how good he fucks. And um…” she leaned to the left slightly, presumedly to check Steve out, “maybe we could arrange a trade.”

“Fuck you Jones.”

Jessica had already turned away when she called over her shoulder “We tried that, remember?”

Despite his annoyance, Bucky managed one last smile while he flipped her the bird, before gathering his courage to turn around and face Steve.

~/~

Steve watched Bucky with interest as he turned away from the stunning brunette he’d been talking to. He couldn’t help but feel a little jealous of the ease between them. It was obvious they weren’t lovers, but they were friends, and Steve missed having Bucky as his friend.

Bucky downed the shot he’d ordered and left the glass on the bar as he sauntered over to Steve. That was really the only way Steve could describe his walk. He didn’t seem as confident as the Bucky Barnes of their childhood, but he sure as hell knew how to fake it.

“Either you’re stalking me or Peter slipped something in my beer and I blacked out, because I don’t remember calling you.” Steve felt his cheeks warm as Bucky spoke. He took a minute to process the words, realizing they were harsher than the tone Bucky used to convey them.

“Um, right… well, Shuri called me and let me know you’d be here, so I thought I’d stop by after work and see if you’d be up for that drink.” He hadn’t looked Bucky in the eyes yet. “I can go, if it’s making you uncomfortable.” He moved to grab his wallet and pay for his beer.

“No, Steve, wait,” Bucky said, with a chuckle. “I was fuckin’ with you. Don’t go. I’m glad you’re here.”

“Yeah?” Steve’s lips spread wide in a grin and he finally looked up to meet Bucky’s gaze. What he saw there was heart-stopping. Bucky always had the most beautiful eyes, their color a cool gray-blue that changed from icy to steel depending on his mood. Right now they were brilliant, even in the dim light of the bar. And they were complimented by an amazing smile.

“Yeah,” Bucky replied, not breaking eye contact.

They stood there for a few seconds, just drinking one another in, before the spell was broken by the approach of Bucky’s coworker.

“Hey Buck-” Peter began.

“Shit! Pete! I’m sorry man,” Bucky replied before Peter could finish his sentence. “I abandoned you. I just ran into a couple people, and-”

“Yeah, man, no problem,” Peter replied. “I was actually gonna say I gotta split. My buddy Ned called and he needs me to come over.” Bucky raised his eyebrows at that, but before he could say anything, Peter sputtered on. “I mean… not ‘needs me’ like that, needs me. Ned’s just a friend. I mean… not that I have any problem with dudes, but Ned’s got a girlfriend and I’m kind of into this girl we went to high school together, and-”

Bucky interrupted the younger man’s diatribe. “Pete, it’s okay. You didn’t say anything to offend me.”

“Phew, that’s a relief,” Peter said, literally wiping his hand across his brow as he said the word ‘phew.’ Steve’s nerdy heart went out to the younger man. He could definitely remember being just as awkward in his own youth.

Peter swiftly made his exit, and Bucky ordered a fresh beer, abandoning the one he’d had at the table he was sitting at with Peter. He settled onto the stool next to Steve.

“So, bigwig legal guy at Stark Inc. at 28, huh? How’d you manage that?

Steve blushed again and looked down at the bar top. “I met Tony in college, and he took over his Dad’s company just as I was finishing law school. He contacted me and asked me to interview for a job on their legal team. I wasn’t about to turn down an opportunity like that. After I got the job, Tony told me he needed to clean house and that he wanted someone with his ear to the ground in legal. I helped him catch some bad actors, and when their positions were vacated, Tony asked if I wanted to take one.”

“Damn, that’s quite the story.”

“Yeah, it’s kind of unbelievable, right? Little guy from Brooklyn like me ending up here.”

“Yeah…” Bucky trailed off as he took a swig of his beer. “I always believed that little guy would go places.”

“That means a lot coming from you, Buck.” Steve looked over at the other man, his eyes soft.

“I never stopped believing in you, Stevie,” he replied, his voice soft.

“So…” Steve said after a pause. “What about you? How’d you’d end up at WT?”

“I met Okoye, the head of their HR, at a VA job fair.”

“Yeah? I remembered you enlisted after graduation. How long did you serve?”

“Six years, three tours. I was planning to retire, but I got injured on my last tour and was medically discharged.”

“Shit… What happened?”

“IED. Not a very big one, but enough to do some serious damage to my left arm. I was a sniper, and I couldn’t keep doing that job if I couldn’t hold the gun steady.”

“Oh damn… I’m sorry to hear that man.”

Bucky looked at Steve for a second, his eyes watering and his upper lip quivering. Steve felt his heart speed up at the thought of his friend’s pain. He started to stand up to give the other man a hug when Bucky’s face broke into a huge grin.

“You always were so gullible Stevie.”

“You jerk!” Steve replied with a laugh as he settled back on his stool.

Bucky pretended to look hurt. “What? Me? I’m not the one laughing at a wounded veteran, ya’ punk!”

“Yeah. yeah, asshole.” Steve tilted his beer to take a swig, his eyes never leaving Bucky’s. When he placed the bottle back down on the bartop, his smile faded a little, becoming wistful. “I’ve missed you, Buck. What happened to us?”

“I’m an asshole who doesn’t deserve nice things, that’s what,” Bucky said, suddenly looking anywhere but at Steve.

~/~

“What the hell does that mean?” Steve asked, and Bucky felt his heart constrict a little more. Sweet Stevie, always caring so much about everyone else.

“Look… it was a long time ago. Let’s forget I said anything. Tell me more about you.”

“No, Buck. I don’t want to forget it. What did you mean? If anything, I’m the asshole in the situation since I left.”

“No, Steve, no.” Bucky suddenly felt panicked at the thought that Steve would ever blame himself. Without thinking, he grabbed Steve’s hand in his own. “You could never be an asshole. You have always been the kindest, most selfless person I know. You going to Indiana was a good thing, wasn’t it? Without that, you might never have gotten healthy, and I doubt you could have afforded law school if you and your mom stayed in Brooklyn.”

“Then why? Why did we lose touch? We were always so close. Even when I had nothing, I had you.”

Bucky cringed. Even after all these years, it physically pained him to keep anything from Steve. “It was all my fault. I became a mess those last two years of high school. I was a drugged out loser. I barely graduated. You didn’t need someone like me dragging you down.”

Steve’s face softened and he squeezed Bucky’s hand with his own. “You would never have dragged me down. I’m sorry I couldn’t be there to help you. It sounds like you were really hurting back then.”

“I was trying to find something.”

“What was that?”

Bucky looked up at Steve then, his eyes a bright cornflower blue, expressing his earnestness. “You,” Bucky replied, unable to tear his gaze away. “I was trying to find you.”

“You knew where I was, Bucky. If you needed me, I would have come back in a heartbeat.”

“I didn’t want to tear you away from your new life. You finally had everything you ever wanted. How selfish would it have been if I’d asked you to come back because I was working through a little bit of depression?”

“But, other than my ma, no one has ever been more important to me that you. I would have done anything to help you.”

“Naw… you had a new life. I remember those pictures on Facebook. You had that cute little girlfriend. The blonde one, kinda looked like Sharon. What was her name?”

“Kate,” Steve said with a small grin. “I think the main reason I first talked to her was because she reminded me of Sharon.” Bucky made to pull his hand free, but Steve kept his grip strong. “But what did you mean when you said you were trying to find me?”

“I…” Bucky sighed deeply and looked at the floor. “I wanted to find someone to take your place in my life. So I wouldn’t feel so empty.”

“Did it work?”

“No. Every person I hooked up with just made me feel more alone, but I kept trying. I must have slept my way through half of the teenage population of Brooklyn, but no one could hold a candle to you.”

Steve suddenly got very still. “What do you mean, Bucky? We never hooked up.”

Shit , Bucky thought, there goes my big fuckin’ mouth gettin’ me in trouble again. He looked up to meet Steve’s eyes once more, his mouth gaping like a fish out of water..

“Bucky… did you… did you want to be with me?”

“I… uh…” fuckfuckfuck “Um… I mean…” He felt his face flushing crimson red. “Shit. I never meant to tell you that Stevie. I’m sorry. Fuck… Let me just.” He grabbed his wallet out of his pocket and threw down whatever cash he had on hand, praying it was enough to cover his drinks. He’d just humiliated himself in front of Steve. The last thing he needed was to also stick him with the bill.

Steve stared open-mouthed as Bucky turned and walked as fast as he could out of the bar, heading for the parking lot. He was unlocking his car door when he heard Steve calling out his name.

“I’m sorry Stevie. Please… let me go home and hide for a while. I can’t deal with this right now.” He realized he was babbling, but it was like a dam broke and he couldn’t stop. “We were just reconnecting and then I went and fucked it up. Damnit… I am so sorry Steve. Please can we just forget I said anything? It was a long time ago and-”

He was cut off abruptly when Steve surged forward and captured Bucky’s mouth with his own. Bucky was shocked momentarily before his reflexes kicked in and he kissed back, Steve’s lips just as soft as he remembered them. He moaned softly as Steve’s hand grazed up his neck and over his jawline. The kiss seemed to drag on forever, a heavenly meeting of plush lips and velvety tongues and light nips of teeth. Bucky felt himself swoon a little inside.

When they finally broke apart, their chests panting, Steve brought his other hand up to cup Bucky’s cheeks. “You still talk too fuckin’ much,” he growled, and Bucky laughed before leaning back in for another kiss.

“I didn’t think you liked guys,” Bucky said in awe when they separated once more.

“Bucky… I have been gone for you from the moment you kissed me when we were kids. I was just so afraid to tell you then and lose you as a friend.”

“You punk… we could have had so much more time together if you’d have just said something!” Bucky chuckled as he pulled Steve’s body closer to his own.

“If I’d have said something? You’re the chatterbox you jerk! You should have told me how you felt.”

“I didn’t want to lose your friendship either.”

“Shit… we gotta get better at communicating with each other if we’re gonna make things work this time around.”

“Why don’t we start practicing on Friday? Will you go out on a date with me, Stevie?”

“Yes,” Steve whispered before closing in on Bucky for another mind-blowing kiss.

~/~

The next morning, when Bucky walked into work, Shuri was standing in the middle of their shared workspace wearing a self-satisfied smirk. “Did you have a good night, Bucky?”

Bucky tried to look offended, he really did, but he’d spent the night having pleasant dreams of kissing Steve at an outside table of a restaurant by the waterside. He smiled at his coworker. “I did.” He shrugged off his backpack and sat at his computer.

“How is Steve?” She asked as she followed him. “Will you be seeing him again?”

“You really don’t do subtle, do you?”

“I don’t have time for such things. Do you have a date or not?”

“Yes,” he replied, unable to hide his grin.

Shuri squealed with delight and danced in place. “Bucky’s gonna get nasty!”

“Just don’t send him any dick pics,” Peter mumbled from the other side of the cube wall.

Bucky blushed in response and Shuri cackled. “It’s too late for that, Peter!” she called back. “Did he send you one back?”

“I’m not saying anything about that, Shuri.”

She chuckled and took her seat at her desk. “As a sign of your gratitude, I fully expect your first daughter to be named after me.”

“Well, I was planning to do that anyway,” Bucky said with a grin.

“Damn right you were.”

Bucky looked up at his monitor and began to peruse his email. A minute later a notification popped up on his phone with a text from Steve.

Can’t wait for tomorrow night.

Bucky was unable to hide his grin as he picked up his phone to send a response.

If you enjoyed this, I’d really love a like, reblog, or comment (or all three!). Thanks for reading!

[briangroth27]

The Shape of Water Review

The Shape of Water is an enchanting 1960s-set fairy tale told very well; a powerful, expertly-made work of art about the marginalized in our society. Director Guillermo del Toro got outstanding performances out of his stars while capturing the style and feel of the era perfectly, then used the time period to comment on today’s social issues through a story about the downtrodden rallying together against the establishment to preserve life and love.

Full Spoilers…

Sally Hawkins brilliantly conveyed character and emotion entirely through her expressions and sign language as Elisa Espostio (Sally Hawkins), a mute cleaning lady at a top-secret government laboratory who falls in love with an amphibian man (Doug Jones) captured in Latin America. It’s great to see a mute lead character and even better that the film doesn’t allow it hold her back at all, despite what those in power might think of her capabilities. Conveying the romance with and genuine love for the Amphibian Man was mostly on Elisa’s shoulders and Hawkins absolutely sold every bit of it. A wonderful moment late in the film includes an unexpected musical sequence that perfectly illustrates the impact he has on her heart, showing love can transcend even the strangest of barriers. That said, I don’t think Elisa is fully human herself, but the product of an earlier romance between a human and a different aquatic cryptid: her mysterious “scars” and backstory of being found by a river felt like a classic superhero secret origin. If that’s the case and the Amphibian Man healed her gills instead of creating them, then their relationship not only fuels her voice, but allows her to discover her truest self.

I also liked the easy friendships Elisa shared with her coworker Zelda (Octavia Spencer) and next-door neighbor Giles (Richard Jenkins). It was a nice and all-too-rare touch that these platonic relationships were just as important to Elisa’s life as her burgeoning romance with the Amphibian Man. It was a relief to find Elisa living a fully-functioning life even while she was longing for romantic love. I loved Zelda’s reactions to the Amphibian Man and to updates about Elisa’s love life. In addition to comic relief, Zelda brought common sense to Elisa’s interest in the Amphibian Man, at first keeping her friend’s head level and later recognizing that risking her life and career to help Elisa save him was something they had to do, even though she was greatly concerned for her best friend’s safety. Zelda being so dismissed in her marriage and having her decisions undercut (even if it was to save her life) by her husband (Martin Roach) was a solid mirror to Elisa and the Amphibian Man’s more mutually respectful relationship and to Strickland’s (Michael Shannon) domineering, controlling marriage. While Zelda was a fully-formed character, it would’ve been nice if she had a subplot of some kind of her own, like Giles did. His failed advertising posters (and failed interest in a guy (Morgan Kelly) working at a not-so-great pie shop) gave the movie a glimpse of the world and society outside the lab that we didn’t get from many other characters. Then again, perhaps it’s the fact that Zelda and Elisa work together and Giles doesn’t that made his world feel bigger than hers. It may also be that his ability to pass as an “acceptable” member of society grants him the ability to travel a wider world than Zelda can, as exemplified by the Pie Guy kicking an African-American family out of the pie shop. Despite his long reach, the sadness and rejection encompassing so much of his world, be it from the Pie Guy or the ad agency he was trying to sell to, painted a haunting picture of the world inhabited by those who “proper” society ignored or—at best—used, and I hope the world Elisa gets to travel to at the end of the film is happier and more equal. Still, I liked that Giles had a sense of hope to him; even if the world was clearly weighing on him, he still believes in the possibility of “happily ever after.”

The make-up for the Amphibian Man was mind-blowing and the movie deserved the Best Costume Design Oscar for it, while Doug Jones did an amazing job of conveying emotion and a sympathetic nature under all those prosthetics. The biggest thing I would’ve liked to see more of in the movie was his backstory. Actual god or not, I wanted to know what he wanted (beyond freedom and to love Elisa), what he thought of the world of men, etc. Who were his followers in South America and what “primitive” rituals did they use to worship him? What did he give them in return? Did he even register that he was worshiped as a god, or do his thoughts transcend those labels? What was his thought process as he went from worshiped to imprisoned? I wish he could’ve communicated better to give us some grander idea of his opinion on things, because his actions made him seem torn between gentle emotions and instinct-driven outbursts, like killing one of Giles’ cats. Perhaps it would be an interesting comment on society if this “god” were really just a different sort of animal and the people who worshiped it had simply projected their need for a god onto him, but I’m almost always against “grounding” half-measures in stories like this (if you’re gonna go there, go there), so I interpreted him as truly a god and would’ve liked to know more. That said, having Elisa fall in love with someone so outlandish was a strong metaphor for how those in power at the time (and honestly, in the present as well) saw homosexual and interracial love.

Michael Shannon’s Colonel Richard Strickland was a great villain and I loved how his control-freak nature demanded everyone around him become subservient, much like the paranoid American government he works for and represents demanded conformity. This made him simultaneously threatening and weak, hiding behind a thin veneer of socially-acceptable power. I especially liked his reaction when he found out just how replaceable he could become if he didn’t find the Amphibian Man; his easy dismissal in the event of his failure also contrasted nicely with how Zelda was always willing to cover for Elisa, from rescuing the Amphibian Man to simply holding her place in line to ensure she clocked in on time. Clearly there’s no friendship, loyalty, or leeway among the conformists, only control or destruction. Watching him break down as many people around him as he could—even his wife (Lauren Lee Smith), forcing her to be quiet while he focused on what he wanted out of their sex life—was very uncomfortable, so it was great to see his frustrated reaction to his inability to intimidate or break Elisa and Zelda. Not allowing his wife to speak was a great contrast to the Amphibian Man, who helped Elisa to not just talk, but to sing. The whimsical, silver screen nature of their classic Hollywood dance sequence also contrasted perfectly with the rot just under the “idealized” surface of 1960s America that Strickland upheld. Though the dance sequence is pure fantasy, it’s the only place where “the good old days” were actually good.

Another aspect that perfectly utilized the era was Dimitri Mosenkov/Robert Hoffstetler (Michael Stuhlbarg), a Soviet spy embedded in the lab. Like the threat of the Other found in African-Americans, the gay community, and a sea god, the Red Scare epitomized America’s desperate drive to destroy what it couldn’t control or understand. As I’ve seen noted elsewhere, it was very cool that the film subverted expectations and had Mosenkov not only help Elisa save the Amphibian Man from vivisection at the hands of the Americans, but that he gave Elisa information on how to keep him alive once she’d extracted him. That he cared more about the Amphibian Man as a living thing than as a means to attain Soviet superiority by vivisecting it was great; I definitely expected him to try to give him to his spymasters, where the South American god would’ve met the same fate the American military planned for it. It’s certainly a powerful indictment of our government that this spy sent to undermine us had more humanity than our people, who are only concerned with being “the best” no matter what that does to their souls. The fact that Mosenkov literally had a secret identity is also a nice thematic tie to Giles’ closeted homosexuality, Elisa’s mysterious origins, and the hidden power and passion the oppressed in this time concealed from their conformity-demanding government.

Universal’s classic Creature from the Black Lagoon was an inspiration for this film, and The Shape of Water is an excellent sort of remake, touching on similar themes while updating them and making them relevant to a modern audience. It was very smart of del Toro to explore the limitations of social mores of 1962 by focusing on a cast made up of those without power back then (who are still facing under-representation and lack of power today). However, I would argue that while setting this in the past has the desired effect of getting the audience to let its guard down, it also allows the audience to distance themselves too much, letting us say “those problems have been solved” and never forcing us to inspect ourselves. Still, I absolutely loved the score and the entire 1960s aesthetic del Toro achieved! I could easily have seen this taking the Best Cinematography Oscar. 

The Shape of Water looks beautiful, has an excellent cast who are all on point, and has a very strong love story at the center of a powerful tale of those without power subverting the accepted system. I definitely recommend it!

 Check out more of my reviews, opinions, and original short stories here!

[weekendwarriorblog]

The Weekend Warrior 9/3/21: SHANG-CHI, CINDERELLA, WORTH, MOGUL MOWGLI, YAKUZA PRINCESS, YEAR OF THE EVERLASTING STORM, and More

There’s only one new wide release this week but I’m not gonna say this movie title five times, because it’s so freakin’ long, that I can only really say it once. But it’s a good one! There’s also so many limited releases that as always, I just couldn’t get to all of them. (Word of warning: This column was finished under the influence of Churches' excellent new record, Screen Violence.)

Marvel Studios’ second movie of 2021, SHANG-CHI AND THE LEGEND OF THE TEN RINGS (Marvel/Disney) stars Simu Liu as the “Master of Kung-Fu” from the comics, making his very first appearance in any live-action form that I know of. I have to say that I loved the comics as a kid and was truly bummed when I sold my whole collection, knowing that a lot of the great run of the comics from the ‘70s and ‘80s that have never been reprinted. That being said, this is Marvel’s first solo character introduction going all the way back to Brie Larson as Captain Marvel back in March, 2019, and before that, you’d have to go back November, 2016 for Doctor Strange, since Black Panther was introduced in Captain America: Winter Soldier.

Shang-Chi is directed by Destin Daniel Cretton, who broke onto the scene with indie films like I Am Not a Hipster and the better-received Short Term 12, which also introduced much of the world to Larson, and then the two of them made an adaptation of The Glass House. Cretton then directed Michael B. Jordan, and again, Larson, in Just Mercy for Warner Bros., which grossed $36 million in early 2020 but never quite achieved the Oscar hopes some were expecting. Still, all that work with Larson paid off, because it got him a meeting with Kevin Feige and Marvel for him to pitch this.

Granted, Simu Liu is a bit of an unknown quantity, having not made too many movies and being best known for the sitcom, Kim’s Convenience. On the other hand, his co-star Awkwafina has been building quite an impressive career from her roles in the 2018 hits, Crazy Rich Asians and Ocean’s 8, plus her starring role in the indie, The Farewell, for which she won a Golden Globe (but really should have gotten an Oscar nomination). She’s taken that success to put it into her Comedy Central show, Nora from Queens, while also providing her voice for lots of animated movies, including this year’s Disney animated movie, Raya and the Last Dragon. Most who have seen the movie early have mentioned that her comic chemistry with Lu has stolen the movie and oddly, her “best friend” character Katy seems to be heading towards a larger part in the MCU.

If we look at movies based around characters who received solo films before appearing anywhere else in the MCU, we get the aforementioned Captain Marvel movie, which had an insane $153 million opening weekend, doing even better than the Distinguished Competition’s own solo female movie, Wonder Woman, even though the latter was definitely better known. Captain Marvel ended up grossing over $400 million domestic and over a billion worldwide. The Doctor Strange movie that preceded it, starring Benedict Cumberbatch, didn’t do quite well but still opened with $85 million and made $232 million domestic. A year earlier, Marvel Studios’ attempt to make Ant-Man a thing led to one of their bigger disappointments with that opening with “just” $57 million and grossing $180 million domestic. (That also cost $30 million less than Doctor Strange and $45 million less than Captain Marvel, but when you get to those budgets over $100 million, every dollar counts to making back that budget.)

As with many MCU movies, Shang-Chi has been receiving rave reviews with a strong 92% on Rotten Tomatoes from over 140 reviews (at this writing). My review of this is over at Below the Line, and I loved it, too. The big selling point for Shang-Chi is that like Black Panther was to African-Americans, this character is to Asian-Americans, being able to see the first Marvel movie starring an Asian-American, as well as a mostly Asian cast that includes the great Tony Leung and Michelle Yeoh (who also starred in Crazy Rich Asians).

There are a few factors to bear in mind, and not just the COVID Delta variant one that we’ve been hearing so much about -- there’s no denying that things are getting worse, and hopefully this can be quelled before there’s another shutdown. This weekend is the four-day weekend with Labor Day on Monday, which has never been a great weekend at the movies, partially because schools have either started or are about to start and people just stop going to movies, despite there having been plenty of early September hits like Warner Bros’ It. September is definitely a new month for Marvel to release a movie, but with all the delays due to COVID, it’s a good (I’m not gonna use the term “experiment) to see if Marvel really can withstand the proverbial 12-month release calendar rather than their movies needing to be released over the summer or holidays or any other month.

Unlike the recent Black Widow, which had a substantial $80 million opening, Shang-Chi is not being released simultaneously on Disney+ via Premier Access, which presumably will mean more people will have to go see the movie in theaters during its 45-day run before heading home, but the question really is “Will they?” Besides Crazy Rich Asians, which did incredibly well among non-Asians, there haven’t been a ton of movies with Asian casts that have done well just due to the fact -- I mean, look at the recent Snake Eyes from Paramount Pictures. It didn’t get nearly as good reviews, but it’s another superhero movie with a mostly Asian cast, and that community didn’t get behind it at all. Maybe we can say the same about Raya but that also was released much earlier in the pandemic.

With that in mind, I do think Shang-Chi is good for a four-day opening between $53 million and $57 million, although I don’t think we can expect this to have the same impact as a Marvel movie with a well-known character or actor in the lead.

This weekend’s four-day box office should look something like this:

1. Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings (Marvel/Disney) - $55.6 million N/A

2. Candyman (Universal) - $13.2 million -40%

3. Free Guy (20th Century/Disney) - $11 million -16%

4. Paw Patrol: The Movie (Paramount) - $7 million +6%

5. Jungle Cruise (Walt Disney Pictures) - $4.5 million -10%

6. Don’t Breathe 2 (Sony/Screen Gems) - $2 million -30%

7. Respect (MGM) - $1.8 million -20%

8. The Suicide Squad (Warner Bros.) - $1.3 million -35%

9. The Protégé (Lionsgate) - $1.4 million -43%

10. The Night House (Searchlight) - $800k -39%

Hitting Amazon Prime Video on Friday (as well as select theaters in New York and L.A.) is Kay Cannon’s musical CINDERELLA (Amazon), which was originally going to be released theatrically by Sony Pictures in January, but it then became one of the first movies to have its production be shut down by COVID, so everything was delayed, and then Sony just decided to sell it off to Amazon, but considering everything going on, that may have been the wise choice, since I have a feeling more people will see this on Amazon then would have gone out to theaters with COVID, school starting, etc. Either way, you can read my interview with Kay Cannon over at Below the Line.

The movie stars pop star Camila Cabello In the title role of the musical was the brainchild of James Corden, who is no stranger to musicals. In fact, he seems to appear in almost every single one, or is that me? The nice thing is that you already know the story, as that hasn’t changed much, although Cannon definitely gives it a more modern spin in terms of Ella being far more feisty and a truly modern woman despite living in times where women aren’t allowed to do their own thing. Ella wants to be a designer, and she’s already making progress as she sews beautiful dresses in the basement where she’s kept by her stepmother (Idina Menzel) and taunted by her stepsisters (Maddie Baillio and Charlotte Spencer). One day, she meets the Prince Robert (Nicholas Galzitine) in the woods and has such an effect on him that he decides to hold a ball and invite all the women in the land in order to find a princess.

Like I said, pretty much the same story that we’ve seen in so many adaptations and quite a few musicals, and really, what probably will stand out more than anything is how talented Cabello is, considering that this is her first acting role in a major feature, and she kills it. I wouldn’t say that I love all the song choices, but I did love most of the arrangements, and there are so many great standout moments like “Shining Star” performed by Billy Porter as Cinderella’s “Fab G” (replacing and gender-switching her Fairy Godmother) and Menzel’s performance of her own song she wrote for the movie is a definite showstopper.

Obviously, casting the likes of Menzel and Porter means you have a couple ringers, but Minnie Driver is also great and even Pierce Brosnan kind of makes up for his horrific singing performance in Mamma Mia! This time, he gets something more in his range. And James Corden is in it, but it's such a small role that even those who truly hate him don't have enough time to do so.

It’s probably a cliché to say that this Cinderella won’t be for everyone, and I’m sure many critics had their knives out for it sight unseen. Personally, I know tons of fans of musicals and movies like Into the Woods, and yes, the Pitch Perfect movies, who will really enjoy what Kay Cannon and her talented cast and crew have done with the story. Kay Cannon’s Cinderella is a movie that’s more about fun entertainment than anything particularly cerebral, and in days like these, maybe that’s all that is needed sometimes.

There's a ton of other interesting indie films out this week… some of them are even good!

A movie that many (hopefully) will view with interest is Bassam Tariq’s MOGUL MOWGLI (Strand Releasing), co-written by and starring Riz Ahmed, which premiered all the way back at the Berlin Film Festival in February 2020. Besides it being of interest due to Ahmed’s presence, Tariq is also rumored to be directing the new Blade movie for Marvel Studios, starring Mahershala Ali, so many will (hopefully) be checking out this movie for that reason alone. (It certainly grabbed my interest.)

In the movie, Ahmed plays Zaheer who raps under the pseudonym of Zed, but he’s a Pakistani living in London at odds with his parents and the Muslim traditions put upon him. Just as he’s about to go on a major tour that could give his career a much-needed push, he suddenly loses the ability to walk and is diagnosed with a muscular disease that will involve stem cell therapy.

Okay, yes, this is another movie involving Ahmed as a performer who is hit by a debilitating condition much like his Oscar-nominated turn in Sound of Metal, but this is a very different movie that also deals with culture and religion and other things that just had much of an impact on me. Zaheer is told by his doctor that after the procedure, he would be unable to have kids, so he should freeze his sperm, and there’s a scene that I personally experienced when I was told the same before my stem cell transplant.

As much as this is very much a family drama, there’s also an interesting almost horror element to Mogul Mowgli as Zameer is constantly being plagued by hallucinations and nightmares, but there’s also some light humor in the fact that his main competition, another Pakistani rapper named “RPG,” is a bit of an idiot. But this really is Ahmed’s show, and heck, I might go so far to say that I think Ahmed’s performance in this movie is even better than his performance in Sound of Metal if you can believe that.

Mogul Mowgli proves beyond the shadow of a doubt that Riz Ahmed’s Oscar nomination was no fluke. He is clearly one of the best actors we have today, and he also shows that lacking the right material, he’s just going to write his own. It's opening at New York's Film Forum on Friday, and I'm not sure where else.

Brazilian filmmaker Vicente Amorim’s action-thriller YAKUZA PRINCESS (Magnet) -- which has played a couple recent genre festivals like Fantasia in Montreal -- really should be my kind of movie. Based on the Manga of the same name, it’s set in Sao Paulo, Brazil, where I used to live as a kid, believe it or not, but it’s also one of the largest Japanese communities outside Japan. In this environment comes newcomer Masumi as Akemi, who was orphaned as a child and left in Sao Paulo, but she later learns she’s the heiress to the Yakuza crime syndicate. She ends up meeting a badly scarred-up stranger with amnesia (Jonathan Rhys Meyers) who believes an ancient katana sword might bind their fates.

Like I said, this should be my kind of movie, because I love Yakuza films and crime films set in the world of Japanese crime, and as I said, I lived in Brazil, so that country still hold a place in my heart. Unfortunately, I’ve seen a lot of amazing Yakuza films from the great Takashi Miike, and this one is just so erratic in terms of pacing and tone that it really took me quite some time to really get into it.

Unfortunately, this movie at its core feels like another Kill Bill wannabe where Amorim relies so much on being super-stylish and throwing in lots of fast editing to make up for the lack of originality or any real substance.

The writing in the movie isn’t great, at least at first, but it’s also far too obvious how new and green Masumi is as an actor, because she delivers her lines and swordplay with very little charisma, and Rhys Meyers isn’t much better. In fact, the film’s best parts are the ones in Japanese, but that’s in the second half where the movie slows down considerably. There is the expected amount of gory swordplay and people being shot in the head, but there’s also way too much unnecessary exposition, much of it in bad English.

There’s just no way around that this is a movie that tries to jump on a genre bandwagon that has been handled so much better by Japanese filmmakers, while this just fails to keep the viewer interested beyond its soundtrack and the score by Lucas Marcier and Fabiano Krieger, which is pretty fantastic. Sure, it’s pretty violent and gory, but at times, it relies too much on viewers really only being on board for that. Other times, it feels like a patchwork of elements that don’t necessarily work together but also feels so derivative of so many better films.

Essentially, Yakuza Princess is yet another overly stylish action movie that’s better when everyone is fighting rather than talking. I had a hard time staying interested, and I’m not sure if that would have been exacerbated if I saw this on the big screen vs. a screener. Unfortunately, you'll only get to see on the big screen in certain regions, because it's mainly being released VOD.

Hitting Netflix on Friday after a week at New York’s Paris Theater is Sara Colangelo’s drama WORTH (Netflix), starring Michael Keaton, Stanley Tucci, and Amy Ryan, which premiered all the way back in January 2020 at the Sundance Film Festival. In the movie, Keaton plays Kenneth Feinberg, an opera loving lawyer and college professor who is commissioned to start the 9/11 Victim Compensation Fund, which has to come up with the amount of money that the families of those who died in the terrorist attacks will receive.

As you can probably expect, this movie is a laugh a minute… no, I’m kidding, this is a well-written and acted, but also often rather dry drama that’s about a serous topic, but it also feels like it comes so late after 9/11 that it doesn’t feel as relevant anymore, even with the anniversary coming up soon.

The movie is very much a spotlight for Keaton, who sports a heavy Massachusetts accent but still delivers a solid performance as the man with the unenviable task of trying to calculate the payouts for the people who lost loved ones in the 9/11 attacks. But Keaton doesn’t just deliver himself, he also brings out the best from everyone else in the cast, not too surprising from Ryan or Tucci, but there are also lots of pleasant surprises, including Shunori Ramathan and some of the actors playing the people who lost family members.

More than anything else, the movie is very much about the excellent script by Max Borenstein (who mostly has written a bunch of Godzilla and King Kong movies, oddly enough), and in that sense, it reminds me of Tom McCarthy’s Spotlight or the recent The Report, which are both solid movies but also very dialogue-driven ensemble dramas. Colangelo does a fine job with the film's pacing, which much have been a difficult task.

The only real problem with Worth is that it's so filled with crying and drama it's pretty hard to take for two hours straight. Basically, it’s one of those very good movies that you really have to be in the right headspace to get through it.

Michelle Civata's THE GATEWAY (Lionsgate) is a crime-thriller set in rural St. Louis with Shea Whigham playing Parker, a social worker who is trying to protect his client, a single mother (Olivia Munn) with a young daughter, whose husband was just paroled from jail with a drugdealer (Frank Grillo) trying to get him back on the payroll.

I wasn't sure about this one at least as it started, even with such a solid cast, which includes Bruce Dern as Park's estranged father, and it certainly started out a bit erratic with some scenes and characters working better than others. What works in the movie's favor is Whigham is such a good actor who rarely gets juicy roles like this one where he can be at the center of the story, and The Gateway shows that maybe this shouldn't be.

Despite a woman as director and co-writer, the whole thing comes off as fairly macho, clearly influenced by filmmakers like Scorses, but the fact that there's heart and real characters at the center of the movie that doesn't offer some degree of action -- gunfights, car chases and such -- does make The Gateway far better than it could have been.

Unfortunately, things start to fall a bit in the last act, although there are some great scenes between Whigham and Dern, and I generally like what the movie is trying to say about family. Because of that, The Gateway ends up being a decent indie crime thriller that doesn't veer too far from others but gives Wigham a long-deserved leading role to show his stuff.

The Gateway will open in select theaters, and be available via Apple TV and other digital platforms Friday and then be available on DVD and Blu-ray on Tuesday, September 7.

Sean King O’Grady’s thriller WE NEED TO DO SOMETHING (IFC Midnight) stars Sierra McCormick as teenager Melissa, who ends up trapped with her family in a house after trying to shelter from a storm… and boy, did this movie remind me of this awful recent movie called John and the Hole that IFC released last month. And this one really isn’t much better, despite starring great actors like Vinessa Shaw and Pat Healy.

Honestly, I have no idea why anyone would read the script by Max Booth III (based on his own novella, no less) and think, “Boy, this would make an interesting movie,” but this is the age we live in where everyone is trying to make something cool and woke for the kiddies, and in this case that comes in the form of Melissa’s goth girlfriend Amy (Lisette Alexis) who shows up (in flashback) as so that they can do some incantations which may be causing all the weirdness. It’s as if the filmmakers thought that throwing in a bit of The Craft might save it.

I probably was most disappointed by Healy, since I’m such a fan of his work, but he isn’t given much to do except rant and rave and yell a lot, and he really comes off like an asshole, which is not a great look for him.

O’Grady throws all sorts of things at the family like a not particularly scary stupid looking rattlesnake that has them screaming horribly and some kind of… werewolf or something? (I don’t know ‘cause we never see it. We just see its tongue which Melissa rips out.) Honestly, I’m not sure I’ve ever seen worse acting, which just makes the family even more annoying.

With a really stupid premise that is barely able to carry a movie, if you’re gonna call your movie We Need to Do Something, then for EFF’s sake, DO SOMETHING! Man, this movie frustrated the hell out of me.

Also out on Friday is the anthology film, YEAR OF THE EVERLASTING STORM (NEON), which features an amazing roster of filmmakers, including David Lowery, director of the recent The Green Knight, Jafar Panahi, Anthony Chen, Laura Poitras (CITIZEN4), Apichatpong Weerasethakul, and others, taking a semi-documentary approach to share their thoughts on living in a pandemic… I watched the Panahi and Chen segments but never got to the rest, but if I do, I'll add my thoughts on the film as a whole when I have a chance. The movie opens at the IFC Center in New York this Friday and then in Los Angeles at the Laemlle Royal next Friday.

I wasn’t able to get to Safy Nebbou’s WHO YOU THINK I AM (Cohen Media), based on the best-selling novel from Camille Laurens, but it stars the great Juliette Binoche, a single mom and middle-aged professor who is ghosted her 20-something lover so she creates a fake Facebook profile for 24-year-old avatar named “Clara” who is friended by her ex’s roommate. This opens at the Quad Cinema in New York on Friday as well as in L.A. at the Landmark, and I hope to get to watch it soon.

Another movie I’ve been looking forward to seeing since it premiered at Sundance but just haven’t found the time is Lyle Mitchell Corbine Jr.’s WILD INDIAN (Vertical), starring the great Michael Greyeyes as a native American man who decades earlier covered up a classmate's murder, but now has to deal with a man who wants vengeance for the secret he's trying to keep as he tries to protect his wife (Kate Bosworth) and boss (Jesse Eisenberg) from that secret. Sounds pretty amazing and man, I wish I could just fit in more movies with everything I have going on right now.

Chad Michael Murray plays the title role in Daniel Farrands' TED BUNDY: AMERICAN BOOGIEMAN (Voltage/Dark Star PIctures), which hits VOD and DVD this Friday, but unlike last week's No Man of God, which deals with Bundy already in prison, it deals with Bundy still on the prowl and the law enforcement agents who eventually brought him down including detective Kathleen McChesney (Holland Roden) and rookie FBI profiler Robert Ressler (Jake Hays). I haven't had a chance to watch this yet, but it would have been nice if they released the two movies in chronological order, no?

A great doc that played at the Tribeca Festival a couple months back and will hit Showtime this Friday is Sacha Jenkins’ BITCHIN’: THE SOUND AND FURY OF RICK JAMES (Showtime), an absolutely fascinating look at the controversial funk and soul star whose catchy dance music of the '70s led to drugs and worse offenses in subsequent years. This is a fantastic doc that I wish I could watch again, but I don't have Showtime. Waugh waugh...

Others that came out this week or weekend:

AFTERLIFE OF THE PARTY (Netflix)

STEEL SONG (Gravitas Ventures)

SAVING PARADISE (Vertical)

Next week, the new horror movie from James Wan, Malignant, as well as Paul Schrader's The Card Counter, which I think might be going wide next week, too.

[agentnico]

Star Wars: The Last Jedi (2017) Review

Can we all just take a moment and accept the fact that Mark Hamill is great......okay, everyone accepted? Cool, onward with the review!

Plot: Rey develops her newly discovered abilities with the guidance of Luke Skywalker, who is unsettled by the strength of her powers. Meanwhile, the Resistance prepares to do battle with the First Order.

With me always saying that I have superhero and Star Wars fatigue, I find myself in the strange scenario where I actually enjoyed ‘The Last Jedi’. I mean, that’s a good thing, but it makes totally walk back against my own words. Anyhow, my main issue with ‘The Force Awakens’ was that it was basically a modern rehashed version of ‘A New Hope’. And enjoyable rehash at that, but a rehash it still was. So, my obvious concern walking into ‘The Last Jedi’ was, “is this gonna be a rehash of ‘Empire Strikes Back’?”. The answer luckily is no, this is actually a fairly fresh film in the franchise, however there are some call-backs to ‘Empire Strikes Back’, most notably the scenes where Luke Skywalker is teaching Rey the Jedi ways where you can easily compare with the Luke and Yoda scenes from ‘Empire’. But besides that ‘Star Wars: The Last Jedi’ stands comfortably on its own, and I have to say, with all the differences between critics and audiences on this film, with critics praising the hell out of it and audiences (on IMDb especially) giving it mixed to very negative reviews and actually giving it the worst audience Rotten Tomatoes score of all ‘Star Wars’ films, even lower than ‘The Phantom Menace’, to which I honestly have to say “what the f***??” Yes, I agree, ‘The Last Jedi’ is far from a perfect film, it has quite a few issues (which I’ll get into later), but overall its a very enjoyable film with some high-class visual effects, strong performances from the cast and some very praise-worthy risks taken from the director. So I can see how the way the story goes can divide some people, but I personally really enjoyed the direction they went with. I’m obviously trying to avoid giving any spoilers, as I am not a d*** who ruins movies for people. Then again......nah, I’m just kidding. But seriously, ‘Star Wars: The Last Jedi’ is a very entertaining film, and is also one of my favourites in the ‘Star Wars’ franchise.

Yet as I said earlier, this film does have issues. And the first one comes in the form of Supreme Leader Snoke. You know that guy who kept showing up as a massive hologram in ‘The Force Awakens’ talking to Kylo Ren and who was being built up as this massive big-bad? Well he’s absolutely wasted. Don’t get me wrong, Andy Serkis does a great performance as always, and the character itself is very interesting, however we hardly find out anything about this guy and the movie only uses him as a plot device for Kylo Ren’s story. So I was really gutted that the movie kind of dismisses Snoke when he was built up as one of the most powerful beings in the universe being uber-strong with the Force. As I said: wasted! And the other wasted character of the film is Captain Phasma, who continues her streak from ‘The Force Awakens’ into this film of doing sweet FA. Problem No. 2 - Finn. Well no, that’s not fair, the character of Finn is still as good as in ‘The Force Awakens’, the issue lies in the story he is put. There are various side stories happening for all the characters in this film, and Finn goes with this new character Rose to go get this guy to go do this thing, and that whole story felt really unnecessary and tedious, especially in light of the fact that at the end you find out that all they did was basically pointless. And that whole plot segment takes a good half an hour of the film! My other issue with this film is: marketing gimmicks. That mainly comes from these creatures in the film called Porgs. Yes they are cute and all, but they add zero to the film’s plot. They are literally there to catch kids’ eyes so that then Disney can sell millions of toy porgs to families with zero imagination! Look, if Disney wants to sell toys, fair enough, that’s their choice, but at least do it in style, you know? Like with these damn porgs. Since you have them in the film, give them a reason to be there that would in some ways either progress the narrative, or in some shape or form give development to a character. Because without that it’s basically forced product placement! And my final issue with this film involves the comedy. It’s very Marvel Cinematic Universe-esque, with so many jokes thrown into the film, and even though some of the comedy works, as a whole the gags feel very forced and take away from the more emotional elements of the film. That brings an end to my complaints with this film. So, they were 1) wasted villain, 2) the Finn and Rose story-line, 3) cheap marketing gimmicks and 4) forced comedy.

As I mentioned, even though I have those three problems with this film, overall I really enjoyed it. It’s a great action ride, the effects are superb, from enthralling space battles to some ass-kicking from many characters (the opening and ending sequences are definite stand-outs), it’s definitely a great cinema ride for the festive season! As always, this is boosted by the legendary John Williams score, keeping you pumped throughout the whole movie. There are also a few neat surprises that are sure to please many fans of the franchise. Now let’s talk about the performances! I’ll straight away get to it: Mark Hamill steals the show. He is fantastic as a more weathered, broken Luke Skywalker who has to once again find the Force within him after having been put through so much, and this is easily Hamill’s best portrayal of the character thus far. Daisy Ridley and Adam Driver are definitely becoming the main focus of this new trilogy, with the film creating a Force connection between them, with each of them representing either the Light or Dark side, however at the same time being connected as one. And both Ridley and Driver are great at what they do, with Ridley showing her passion for becoming a Jedi and trying to save Kylo from the Dark side, and then with Driver showing an unstable angry man who is having an inner conflict with himself about what he thinks is the right thing to do, and so the scenes between these two work really well within the film. John Boyega as Finn is good as I already said, however it doesn’t help that he is in the bad side-plot of the film. Oscar Isaac as Poe is given more to do in this film as the Resistance fighter-pilot who reminds me a lot of Maverick in ‘Top Gun’ with his charisma and thought of being able to take on the whole world, and his character gets one of the more interesting story arcs of the film, giving a very good lesson to us all at the end of the film. Then there is Carrie Fisher. I’m glad that Disney kept her story in this film the way they originally intended to, as following her death it would have been very disrespectful to not use most of the footage she worked on prior to her passing. And she is great, I mean, she’s got this role in the bag by now, however it begs the question, what’s going to happen with Episode 9? Are they going to kill her off in the time span between this film and the next, or are they going to pull a ‘Rogue One’ and CGI her character for the next film (which in my opinion is the worst scenario possible!), or are they going to simply recast her role? I guess we’ll find out in two years time!

As a whole I really liked this instalment in the series. Of course my opinion on this is quite limited, since I only properly watched the ‘Star Wars’ movies for the first time two years ago a couple of weeks before the release of ‘The Force Awakens’, so I don’t have the childhood nostalgic passion for this series as others out there do, so I can understand the many of the online fandom being unhappy with the way this film treated the ‘Star Wars’ lore, however as a film I really liked it. It has its issues, but they are definitely overshadowed by the good parts. May the Force be with you all!

Overall score: 7/10

TOP MOVIE QUOTE: “Where are you from?” “Nowhere.” “No one comes from nowhere.” “Jakku.” “Alright, that is basically nowhere.”

[joncrawford]

Best of COVID-2019: (Late) 2019 End of Year Wrap-up

Even though we’re well into 2020, most of us would probably swallow a pill that makes us forget the year so far. With a new job, I got too busy to do an end-of-year wrap-up of my picks for the best albums, movies and shows of 2019, so assuming you’ve swallowed your Hindsight Pill™ (get it?, cause hindsight is 20..ok, fair if you stop reading now) here’s my take on the best music, movies and shows of 2019. Maybe you’ll find something to make the rest of quarantine a little better.

ALBUMS

Remind Me Tomorrow by Sharon Van Etten on Spotify

It’s hard to find a better album this year. It’s heartfelt, gentle in places / wild in others, it pushes her sound forward from her more folky records of the past and gives us the opportunity to gaze into this sensitive she-hulk of an artist’s soul.

Favorite Track: Jupiter 4 - Jupiter 4, a song by Sharon Van Etten on Spotify

Lux Prima by Karen O on Spotify

This concept album by Karen O (“Yeah Yeah Yeahs”) and Danger Mouse (“Broken Bells”, “Gnarls Barkley”) can best be described as a record composed by badass feminine superhero from the future who has a nostalgic fascination with soundtracks from 70s European love story films. It’s phenomenal. The chord progressions are unusual and interesting. The vibe is consistent throughout. It’s a great record to listen to intentionally or a perfect soundtrack to a day outside with friends.

Favorite Track: Nox Lumina - Nox Lumina, a song by Karen O, Danger Mouse on Spotify

Lana Del Rey - “Norman F*ing Rockwell“ (censored for my mom)

I get it. You stopped following Lana after “Summertime Sadness”. She’s not your jam. She’s vapid. There’s something about her appearance that you don’t like (Didn’t she get her lips done?). She doesn’t make serious music. Here’s the thing though: You’re f*cking wrong (censored for mom). LDR is one of the most prolific songwriters and performers we’ve got. This artist has evolved with each album and the songwriting keeps improving. This is her best album to date. The lyrics take on deeper themes than her prior records and any ego on previous submissions seems to have been replaced by a general comfort in herself and the discomfort of her experiences and relationships (fictional or not). This is also her release with the lightest touch. She’s not pushing the LDR persona anymore, she’s being herself — take it or leave it. It’s her, your little Venice B!tch (censored for mom). Hi, mom!

Favorite song: Venice Bitch, a song by Lana Del Rey on Spotify

Phoenix by Pedro The Lion on Spotify

This is my favorite artist’s first studio album in 15 years. (!!!) It’s not technically fair to say that because he released several color records in the interim. As a largely one-man show, the DNA was very much the same. But this is a true return to form for the the man known as David Bazan that I’ve been following carefully for 20 years and have seen live too many times to count.

This is a concept album (most of them are) about his experience growing up in Phoenix, AZ. But it’s more about growing up than about Arizona. I got goosebumps and watery eyes the first time I listened carefully to the lyrics of “Yellow Bike” which tells about the experience of getting your first bicycle as a little boy around 1990. For me, this was the apex of my childhood. Absolute freedom and the ability to easily join any pack of desperado bike kids.

The album hits hard with the catchy hooks, introspective lyrics, challenging topics and excellent production & instrumental performances only using standard rock staples like guitar, bass and drums (with a couple quick appearances of an organy synth).

Lyrics, melody & a great beat. This is a fantastic rock album.

Favorite song: Yellow Bike, a song by Pedro The Lion on Spotify

WHEN WE ALL FALL ASLEEP, WHERE DO WE GO? by Billie Eilish on Spotify

Much has been written about this wunderkind. You know her. It’s a great album. She has a promising career ahead of her.

Favorite song: when the party’s over, a song by Billie Eilish on Spotify

SOUND & FURY by Sturgill Simpson on Spotify

This album slays. It’s a badass rock album. If you don’t know Sturgill Simpson, he’s technically a country act… BUT! He’s entirely rejected the conventions of modern country with its shallow lyrical content, right-wing dog whistling and computer-assisted faux harmonies. He sings about psychedelics, his problems with religion and also covers 80s synth-pop in country ballad fashion. Well, forget all that for this record. It’s a banger. This record sounds like Waylon Jennings was cloned 100 years in the future and brought back just to record a ZZ Top album. Major leap for this artist. One of the best of the year.

Favorite song: Make Art Not Friends, a song by Sturgill Simpson on Spotify

ANIMA by Thom Yorke on Spotify

We’ve had a complicated relationship with Thom Yorke’s solo work. As the lead singer of Radiohead, we’ve had to give deference to literally anything with his name on it. But his prior solo works have waded into the avant-garde and we’re entirely listenable in a casual way throughout. This has changed. This record is a masterwork. In fact, it demanded a beautiful short film directed by Paul Thomas Anderson (“The Master”, “There Will Be Blood”) released on Netflix earlier in the year featuring no dialogue and Thom and his wife is choreographed love affair starting during a mundane commute. My favorite track is the most peaceful and introspective on the album.

Favorite song: Dawn Chorus, a song by Thom Yorke on Spotify

Fear Inoculum by TOOL on Spotify

It’s TOOL’s first album in 13 years. WHAT. It’s fantastic. Worth the wait? Hell no because that’s too long to wait for almost anything. There are people with Snapchat accounts that weren’t alive when “10,000 Days” came out (2006). 728,000,000 people (presumably, all TOOL fans) died since their last album. I can’t, in good conscience, condone the deprivation of 3/4 of a billion people like that. But it’s SO good. This is metal for people that don’t like metal (I don’t really like metal).

Favorite song: Pneuma, a song by TOOL on Spotify

Screamer by Third Eye Blind on Spotify

I may be literally this bands only fan still paying attention, but I don’t care. They’re still writing fantastic tracks. This was one of my heavy-hitter bands in high school. I learned every song from their first two albums on the guitar. Then I stopped paying attention for like 13 years. In 2016, I ran across a new single by the band and went in with a lot of trepidation. Most bands from your high school years should probably leave it there. There's nothing worse than a band desperately trying to stay relevant with weak ass releases well beyond their shelf life (cough Goo Goo Dolls –– They've put out 4 albums in the last 10 years. 🤦‍♂️) But then I heard Third Eye Blind's pro-Black Lives Matter track “Cop vs. Phone Girl, a song by Third Eye Blind on Spotify” released in 2016. Go back and listen to that one. It's not only catchy as hell, but it's got a gut punch of a message about how shitty is it to be a well-meaning black student in a white-dominated power structure that's supposed to be a safe place like school.

Well 2019’s “Screamer” doesn’t disappoint either. It’s all the same energy and hooks of the band’s early sound with an updated feel and sensibility that still feels like a relevant rock album. All the same things you came to Third Eye for in the past is right here waiting for you on “Screamer”. I know I’m gonna get some flack for this one, but…shut up.

Favorite song: Ways, a song by Third Eye Blind on Spotify Bonus points if you catch the “Outside Lands” ref.

i,i by Bon Iver on Spotify

Short review for people who know how to pronounce the name correctly: It’s a Bon Iver record. Listen to it.

Longer review: It’s pronounced “Bone ee-VAIR” based on the French bon hiver, meaning “good winter”. If this is news to you, here’s a nugget from an interview where the main figure in the band explains it:

When I was living up north I wrote a letter. I’d come across a story about this Alaskan town that the people, the first snow of every year, they come out of their houses and gather in town square. They hug and kiss each other and they say “Bon Iver.” I was like, “whatever that is, that’s cool!” … Then I found out how it’s spelled and it was sort of disappointing. I didn’t like how it looked. It didn’t have any emotion. Looking at it didn’t make any sense. I wanted to look at it and feel something. It was sort of a compromise. I sorta wanted it to be like “Bon Iverre,” sort of like how I saw it, but that didn’t look good either, so I just decided to chop off the “h.” Bon Iver | Pitchfork

OK, now that you’re caught up. I guess you haven’t been paying attention, but Justin Vernon or Bon Iver (DBA) is one of the luminaries of the music industry. This grammy-winning dude-band has collaborated with Kanye, Jay-Z, James Blake, Travis $cott, Poliça, Ani DiFranco, Vince Staples, Eminem, Bruce Hornsby and more. But if you need me to explain any of this to you, do yourself a favor and go back and listen to his other 3 studio albums. Every one of them is treasure.

Favorite Song: Hey, Ma, a song by Bon Iver on Spotify This song makes the top 5 of all the tracks he’s released.

MUSIC - Honorable Mentions

Amyl and The Sniffers by Amyl and The Sniffers on Spotify

Two Hands by Big Thief on Spotify

I vs I by Alex Ebert on Spotify

Face Stabber by Thee Oh Sees on Spotify

Infest The Rats’ Nest by King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard on Spotify

MOVIES

Hail Satan? (Hulu)

JustWatch

Hilarious look at a group trying to make Free Speech really free.

Once Upon a Time in Hollywood

Duh. Also I got low-key obsessed with cults after I watched this.

MONOS

Incredible Spanish language drama about child soldiers in South America. Great acting by unknowns.

Green Book -Duh

Duh. Won an Best Picture.

Parasite

Duh. Won Best Picture.

Joker

Duh. Won life.

Greener Grass

JustWatch

The weirdest movie I saw all year. Bizarre and hilarious. Written by the two actresses who star.

Apollo 11

INCREDIBLE documentary about the first moon landing mission featuring a ton of footage I’d never seen and assembled into such a magnificent narrative. You feel like it’s happening in real-time today. The last time mankind was united around one hope.

SHOWS

The OA - Season 2 (Netflix)

This was one of the most beautiful creations I’ve seen. Epic followup to the first season which seemed like an impossible act to follow. Netflix canned the show, but there’s still hope it will get a resurrection through another venue.

Watchmen (HBO)

This is a sequel to the critically acclaimed graphic novel from the late 80s. You should read the novel first. As stated two sentences ago, this is a sequel set 34 years after the events of the novel.

The Boys (Amazon)

This is the first realistic superhero story. Why have we always assumed that those with superior or supernatural powers would be intrinsically good and seek to served mankind? Regular humans don’t even act like that toward each other. In this world the soops are like paid athletes and are secretly total pricks. Well made and begging for a second season.

Chernobyl (HBO)

Haven’t seen this? What is wrong with you? It’s in the top 5 highest rated shows of all time on IMDB. One thing I’ll note is that it did a good job separating the characterization of the soviet people from the soviet government. The everyday soviet people in the story came out looking like heroes while the government lived up to its reputation. It made me a lot more curious about soviet history which has led me to other movies, books and Wikipedia rabbit holes. Watch this for the historical value, at a minimum. It’s not as gory as you might be afraid it is.

Love Death + Robots (Netflix)

I love sci-fi and I love weird animation so this just brought it home for me. The episodes are often short and sort of feel like Twilight Zone episodes, each with their own mini narrative or moral lesson. Each episode is made by a different creator or team, so the variety is part of the curb appeal. Great binge material.

[auideas]

Ask the Admins 13.0

anon asked: For any of the admins! I’m not sure if this was asked previously, so I apologize in advance. But what's everyone’s favorite au / prompt? (Also thank you guys for starting this blog, im forever grateful this exists)

Chamomile: awww! I’m grateful that this blog exists too (lol). My current favorite type of au’s are murder mystery au’s because of the Rabbit Doubt writing group I’m in so like, expect so many of those coming up soon. I’m also really digging superhero au’s.

M: I’m a fan of the whole “kidnapping / assassin / mob / killer” sort of a trope for some reason - it’s loads of fun to try and mess with original tropes and make them ridiculous, funny, modern, etc.!

Jynn: My fave AUs are ones that incorporate real life twists on typical AUs, like including people with disabilities.

@tomorraw​ asked: How many of you guys are there? Do certain people answer in certain genre? Or does everyone write what they are given? How did you guys meet? (Btw, this is one of my favorite idea blogs. They are so many different views on different ideas and so many genres.)

Chamomile: Currently there’s four of us! I know admin m and admin jynn from a loooong while back -- like two years back. Admin jynn and I go back to our homestuck roots (love her for that) and we’ve stuck together ever since. We all just kind of write whatever floats our boats! M: I met both Jynn and Chamomile through working on the Night Unvaled, which is a Night Vale Fancast that we wrote and produced. We’ve been friends ever since!! As for the certain genre thing, I can’t really say that we all write solely one genre, but we all certainly have our specialties!! Jynn: We have a posting schedule for who posts what when, but when it comes lists we all just take what interests us. Chamomile and I met more than two years back… in a Homestuck role play. Shortly after, we met M in a podcast project we were all working on and we've all be friends since!

Anon asked: what are some of your favorite tropes?

Chamomile: does “I love the way that you understand me and make me feel like I’m the only person in the world when you pay attention to me” count as a troupe? Like an OTP troupe? Bc that’s my ultimate favorite.

M: My favorite trope is messing with tropes. Best thing.

Jynn: “Flaws” turning out to work to someone's advantage!

Anon asked: What is pastel/punk or pastel and punk? I don't get it and google isn't explaining it to me because it's a meany

Chamomile: I remember this AU! It was an AU Friday list that I did and loved doing it! Basically, there’s  ‘pastel’ aesthetic which is very like, cutesy baby pink and pastel blues and other ‘soft’ colors being worn with other ‘soft’ aesthetic items like, glitter or hair clips or oversized sweaters ands stuff like that. Then there’s punk aesthetic, which very like, ‘heck all of you, I want to be comfortable and show that I’m rebelling against the social/political norms’. It can vary from person to person, so it might be better just to google ‘punk fashion’. The whole tag is supposed to be sort of an ‘opposite attract’ type deal.

Anon asked: So in regards to the color au in which you only see color once you touch your soulmate: what if you were born blind? Or when you touch your soulmate, it turns out that you are colorblind?

Chamomile: mmmmmm I’m not a fan of this AU bc of reasons I’m too longwinded about. Skipping this question for me.

M: I guess it’s possible and would make for quite the interesting change in AUs from the usual soulmate trope, but make sure you’re careful when it comes to writing AUs about topics you’re not personally familiar with (such as being blind), but go for it!

Jynn: Idk about it. Lmao I'm picky as heck when it comes to soulmate AUs, and this one has the potential to be interesting but never “stuck out” to me.

Anon asked: hi there! i'm new {ish}, and i've been looking thru ur old posts. i think it's really cool how u help ur followers, school related or not. out of curiosity tho, who is the person who according to that school survey watched so much anime? if u have time, would u mind asking?

Chamomile: Anon I want to know too like, please, show yourself.

M: We support you. Maybe. For the most part.

Jynn: Show ya self ur among friends. I too have consumed too much anime.

Anon asked: Just wanted to say I love your blog. It gives me inspiration! :)

Chamomile: Aaaaa! Thank you <3

M: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jynn: Awwwww!

Anon asked: just poppin in to ask if its okay for us writers to adopt these aus? and claim the whole plot as ours but still credit the bunnies (ie linking it to this acc)? thanks for clarifying!

Chamomile: Totally! We completely encourage it because it brings more people to the blog and also, we get a lot of satisfaction from seeing people enjoy our prompts! Here’s a link on how to cite our au’s: link

Anon asked: omfg, i still think the admins are gorgeous. like f***, you are cute.

Chamomile: Bless your heart, thank you! We really should update what we look like...

M: OKAY YEAH WE SHOULD PUT OUT UPDATE PICS!!!!!! BUT THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!

Jynn: :o ! Thx!

@genosha-meiuqer asked: Weird question. If you woke up one morning and realized you could grow a beard made out of cotton candy, how happy would you be on a scale of 1-10; one being not happy, and ten being extremely happy.

Chamomile: Genosha, I would be so hype, you wouldn’t understand. Like a 10/10. Even if I did get tired of my new cool cotton candy beard like?? I can just wash it off?? Because cotton candy is water soluble?? I see no problems here?? 

M: maybe a 2. Too sticky.

Jynn: 7/10. Might get sticky and tedious (and I work in and pool so it'd probably get in the water) but endless free cotton candy? Yes.

Anon asked: Deadpool 2 boyfriend? yes or no?

Chamomile: consider this….boyfriend….and girlfriend…..dating both at the same time….

M: yus

Jynn: Yes on boyfriend but NOT at the expense of a lady characters story ending badly.

Anon asked: what's your dream job?

Chamomile: whatever makes me happy? Right now I’m happy serving coffee and doing odd writer jobs in exchange for gift cards (#hit me up y’all), but in the future I might want something different so like, it depends as I grow!

M: Creative Producer in Hollywood!!

Jynn: Aaaa I wanna work in entertainment. Running tech, performing, whatever. Gotta be near that world.

Anon asked: Are you a part of any fandoms? Which ones?

Chamomile: oh jeeze well uhhhhh -- I still hold homestuck dear to my heart, but I’ve mostly moved into podcasts (SAYER, The Adventure Zone, WTNV, Carpe DM) and a lot of like, writing niche groups with my friends? If I can count those as ‘small fandoms’.

M: soooooo many: Nightvale, Merlin, Doctor Who, Supernatural, Harry Potter, Game of Thrones, etc. Too many.

Jynn: Still Homestuck like Chamomile. Various Nexflix series: Voltron, Stranger Things. Miraculous Ladybug too. Lots of Max Fun and Night Vale Presents podcasts, McElroy products. I work about 60 hours and week so I like things I can listen to while doing other things.

Anon asked: If you were a dragon, what would you hoard?

Chamomile:....scraps of paper. I have so many. I write down AU ideas and story lines on them and then just like, shove them into my bags and pockets and forget about them.

M: pens. so many pens.

Jynn: Useless cute stuff/LUSH products/stim toys probably.

Anon asked: M, did you draw the illustrations in your piece "The Beacon"?

M: I made it in photoshop, yeah! If anyone is curious, here’s the link to the fic (https://drive.google.com/file/d/0BxP7qW60hE6fUmdSWDJMNHBhRGs/view?usp=sharing). The first draft was written by Admin Chamomile for a speed write but adapted and extended by Admin M just for fun. Go for it and read it if you’d like!!

(Chamomile: just gonna….slide this first draft right here….shhhhhh)

Anon asked: How long would you survive in a zombie apocalypse?

Chamomile: hopefully until humanity can find the cure, lmao

M: maybe a month. maybe.

Jynn: Mmmmm no.

Anon asked: Which Never Book quote is your favorite?

Chamomile: “What were you thinking in that last moment between life and oblivion?” Jynn: “So you take another hit, and sick into a whiskey flavored kiss because he’s not there to tell you no.”

Anon asked: Unicorn or Pegasus?

Chamomile: Unicorn! No real reason why. M: Pegasus. Fly bitches. Jynn: Pegasus is more utilitarian.

Anon asked: this is probably too late for ata, but have you ever wanted to write a piece where the characters are southern but you don't know how to write their drawl or accent or dialect? (currently going thru this for the walking dead)

Chamomile: This sounds like a really interesting “How Do I Write” segment soooooo check back on Thursday ;D 

M: ^^^^^^^^^^

Jynn: Not this specific situation. I live in Missouri so I know well how they talk lmao. I have run into something similar with an Irish character though, lots of research!!

[manifestomindset]

Who watched the Watchmen? I did. And it sucked.

So I finally got around to viewing Zack Snyder’s 2009 film adaptation of Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons’ 1986 graphic novel Watchmen. His, his proudest achievement. The movie who’s title is uttered in confidence to anyone who dares question or critique the artistic merit, intelligence or worth of film auteur Zachary Edward “No, Batman [Begins]’s cool. He gets to go to a Tibetan monastery and be trained by ninjas. Okay? I want to do that. But he doesn’t, like, get raped in prison. That could happen in my movie. If you want to talk about dark, that’s how that would go.” Snyder. The much lauded adaptation of the so-called “Unfilmable comic”. How does it fare you ask?

It’s a fucking embarrassment.

Zack Snyder’s Watchmen, is like....having an edgy teenager attempt a shitty recreation of the Mona Lisa in MS Paint and then calling that a proper adaptation. It’s like having the Chainsmokers do a cover of a Beatles song. Watchmen is nothing more than a self-congratulatory hollow shell of it’s source material with a severe lack of self awareness and understanding of Moore and Gibbons’ work.

From the opening fight scene between Ozymandias (a poorly casted Matthew Goode, who’s poor American accent turns Ozzie’s already forced monologues into distracting rants) and The Comedian (Jeffrey Dean Morgan), to the modified ending, it is abundantly clear that not only does Snyder completely miss the point of the original graphic novel, but yes, Alan Moore was right, Watchmen was not meant to be adapted into a film (more on that later).

Unlike the comic, which portrays violence in brief yet brutal moments of time suspended within comic panels that are drawn to highlight the mortality and limitations of the character’s within, Snyder almost fetishizes it, slowly panning the camera over the broken bones and gore, filling up every action scene with redundant slo-motion and speed up edits, ridiculous “whooshes” and deafening “thuds” (it’s important to note that the original comic omitted all sound effects that you would normally see in a standard cape-comic at the time), and exaggerating physical feats to the point of it being laughably cartoony, which is literally the exact opposite of what Moore and Gibbons were going for! Snyder and co. even go as far as using said cartoony sfx in Silk Spectre I’s rape scene which completely deflated any dramatic weight the scene would’ve had on the narrative ( “Just make it sound awesome,” Jenkins recalls of Snyder’s reply to his Day 1 question: How do you want the film to sound?). If the scene was executed without those sfx and filmed tastefully it might’ve you know, actually meant something but I guess that’s asking too much of Snyder. Keep in mind that Snyder thinks that scenes panning over a blood and skeleton-encrusted ceiling is him “restraining” himself, Jesus Christ.

It’s also important to note the awful soundtrack of this film. Literally every song used is so on the nose with what tone and reaction they’re trying to elicit from the audience I wouldn’t be surprised if Snyder came out and said that when he was a kid a classmate named “Subtlety” used to bully him. It’s the only explanation I can think of for the music choices, and really his entire directorial style. It almost feels like every track was used as a place-holder, like when planning the scenes out Snyder wrote “I want a song similar in tone to All Along the Watchtower when they’re walking up to Ozzie’s base”, but instead of finding a more subtle song to enhance the scene they just....went with the most obvious choice. And in many cases said song choices are incredibly distracting. Take for instance, the use of Hallelujah by Leonard Cohen and Jennifer Warnes during the NiteOwl, Silk Spectre sex scene, a scene that was supposed to show how much of NiteOwl’s masculinity and personal complications are tied to his superhero persona (and if you’re invested in his character, elicit a feeling of satisfaction when he finally gets that p u s s), but instead I just ended up laughing at how fucking stupid the juxtaposition was. A song like Hallelujah should only be used in a sex scene if it’s centered around a horny teenage nerd losing his virginity in a raunchy comedy, not a deconstruction of how masculinity ties in with a man’s alter ego. It’s the same with the use of  Ride of the Valkyries when Dr. Manhattan is fighting in Vietnam, that shit’s been parodied so much overtime that using that in a sequence meant to show how powerful he is comes off as comedic.

A perfect example of a film using music to highlight tones and themes within a specific scene would be Goodfellas. That film has three album’s worth of music spread evenly throughout and it worked beautifully. Martin Scorsese used snippets of music (all of which were period specific too, none of the songs were released after whatever time period a scene is taking place in) to effectively highlight and enhance the mood of whatever’s going on in the scene, beautifully punctuating them, unlike Watchmen’s soundtrack, which does nothing beyond distracting the audience from what’s going on in a poor attempt at trying to manipulate an emotional response. Fuck like, I don’t even like the Guardians of the Galaxy movies but even I can admit that James Gunn was able to organically integrate the soundtrack into the plot of the movie and make it poignant.

Visually its a mess too. Part of what made Watchmen a touchstone of American comics is how well Dave Gibbons stitched it together and how it flows visually. The original graphic novel is brimming with numerous visual motifs and cues, alongside a beautifully realized world that effectively and subtly feeds the audience information about the setting and story without needing to verbally beat us over the head with it. The panel-to-panel flow that Gibbons used (in this case a 9-panel-per-page format inspired by Steve Ditko) could easily be translated to film but somehow Hack Snyder, Larry Fong and William Hoy couldn’t even get that right. 

Let me reiterate: the director, cinematographer and editor of Watchmen collectively could not even take the visual flow of the comic---the element of the comic that is the easiest to adapt from one visual medium to another, and adapt it properly.

People who say that Snyder’s films are like “comics come to life” either have a poor understanding of comics, don’t know that Speed Racer fucking exists, or just think that empty, meaningless homages to comics that lack the context and meaning that made said comics work count as “coming to life”. Probably all fucking three.

It’s also interesting to note how poorly the film is designed overall. It’s almost as if the set designers, costume designers, cinematographer and director were all on different pages when making this film, which again, kinda proves Moore’s claim that the comic is “unfilmable”, given that Watchmen was largely the collaborative effort between three guys (five including the editors Len Wein and later Barbara Randall, whom Gibbons claims didn’t really effect the production of the comic beyond “traffic control”) whereas a feature film involves hundreds of people throughout it’s production cycle. The set designs were either uninspired or blatantly obvious (The Comedian’s apartment is so blatantly on the nose, filled to the brim with Silk Spectre iconography that really adds nothing to his character given that the film doesn’t comment or do anything with it), and it’s worth pointing out that the sets and costumes originally had the same bold color palette as the comic (another staple of Moore’s work is the retention of some of the more “traditional” aspects of whatever genre he’s riffing to add more dramatic weight when the character drama begins to unfold, in Watchmen’s case it was the goofy costume designs and bold colors of traditional cape-comics), but was later desaturated in post. Why the fuck have all of these designers go through all of this fucking trouble to stay accurate to John Higgins’ original coloring if you’re just gonna make everything fucking monochromatic. 

I thought it was really neat that a bunch of veteran comic artists (Adam Hughes, David Finch and John Cassaday to name a few) contributed some of their own modern takes on Gibbons’ original designs, but Ryan Meinerding was the final concept artist and you know what that means: Needlessly complicated superhero costumes!!!!

Look, I love Meinerding’s artwork but ever since the end of Marvel’s Phase One all of his costume designs have been getting increasingly monochromatic and convoluted. Just look at his designs for Cap alone between The First Avenger and Iron Man 4: Age of Ultron and you’ll see what I mean. Here, his designs aren’t bad but in the cases of Silk Spectre, NiteOwl and Ozzie they’re so disconnected from the characters and the story.

The entire point of Dan Dreiburg’s character is that he’s an everyman schlub who’s heroism from within transcends his own self-loathing and fears and helps him move past his limitations. Dressing him up in a really cool, slick Batman costume and having him execute these powerful, cartooney action scenes robs him of the everymaness that his character is based upon.

Silk Spectre is, for some reason, covered in latex, (which doesn’t make any sense given that her costume was created in the 60′s and thus looks like something an aspiring legacy hero would adopt while staying truthful to the themes of sex appeal in her predecessor’s costume) and rather than use this clear difference to push her character forward (the primary conflict of Laurie Jupiter’s character is that she’s tired of living in a confusing world created by her mother and her contemporaries and is sick of just being an object her mother can vicariously live through) by having her name herself, I dunno, “The Latex Lady” or something in an attempt to distance herself from her mother its just there for....sex appeal I guess.

And then there’s Ozymandias’ costume, a much more Hellenistic take on the character that sports both molded body armour and an obvious parody of Joel Schumacher’s infamous “bat-nipples”. This misguided design undercuts the most important aspect of Ozzie’s character: the fact that yes, he’s the real deal. The entire comic (primarily through Rorshach’s personal thoughts towards him) builds Ozzie up to be somewhat of a charlatan. Something’s a bit suspicious about him but overall he seems to be nothing more than an incredibly successful business mogul with an amazing physique. Moore and Gibbons essentially constructed him to be the personification of what was the ideal form of masculinity in the 80′s, which in the cynical world that Watchmen builds meant that all of the nonsense about him being “the smartest man on the planet” who could “catch a bullet with his bare hands” was just hyperbole. The moment Ozzie actually fucking catches the bullet shot by Silk Spectre is the moment Moore and Gibbons solidify him as an antagonist bigger than anything the characters have faced before, and essentially one-ups Dr. Manhattan as this world’s only “real” superhero. When he’s clad in kevlar it removes the dramatic tension in being shot, thus undercutting his big character moment, and pasting nipples on his costume in an attempt to parody a movie that was already a decade too old (and that fans had essentially moved past with the release of Batman Begins and The Dark Knight) ended up being nothing beyond a stale joke.

And then there’s the modified ending. I have no problem when an adaptation of a source material changes details from said materiel to create a new story or allow said adaptation to stand on its own, so long as that change is at least well thought out and justified within the logic of the adaptation. Changing the ending so that instead of a really interesting, horrifying Lovecraftian/Cronenbergian squid destroying NYC to tricking Dr. Manhattan doing the same thing seems smart and ideal for a film at first.......until you realize that, in both the comic and the film, Manhattan agrees completely with what Ozzie has done, which begs the question as to why Ozzie had to go through so much trouble when he could’ve just asked Manhattan to destroy NYC for him. In the comic, Moore and Gibbons justify this by setting it up so that Manhattan would be both benign enough to just go along with American interests while at the same time be vulnerable enough to be controlled through a romantic interest. And from Ozzie’s perspective, it made sense to just create a threat from the ground up that’s sole purpose (down to the brainwaves it fucking emits) was to elicit fear and horror amongst the planet’s superpowers to unite and prevent any possibility of nuclear conflict, rather than use someone like Manhattan, who can actually be reasoned with. We, as a species, fear the unknown, and as powerful as Manhattan is, everyone in the world of Watchmen know everything about his life and his creation (which would subsequently lead to the eventual discovery of how to actually defeat him as Ozzie was able to do, briefly.)

(art by Nick Perks)

It also removes the most metatextual aspect of the original work. When it comes down to it, Watchmen is about a bunch of superheros attempting to stop a giant monster from destroying NYC. At it’s bare bones the story within Watchmen isn’t all that different from your average Silver Age Marvel or DC team book. Part of what made that story brilliant is that Moore and Gibbons gave that story weight and consequences. What if superheros actually existed in real life? How would that effect WWII and the Cold War? What would the world look like? What would motivate these superheros? How would the US government react? What kinds of villains would exist in this world? etc etc etc. Moore and Gibbons answered all of these questions and framed them around really well constructed parodies of Charleton Comics characters. That’s what makes Watchmen good, not it’s violence, or its sexual content, or how “gritty” and “serious” it is. 

Speaking of Dr. Manhattan, I do not like Billy Cudrup’s performance of him at all. This isn’t Cudrup’s fault, Cudrup’s a great performer, its just that Snyder doesn’t know how to direct actors. We’re talking about a director who somehow made Henry Cavill, a man who oozes charisma, into a plank of fucking wood in both MoS and BvS.  (Not so friendly reminder that Snyder honestly thinks that Superman, on a whim, can become as disconnected as Manhattan. If that doesn’t explain why Superman is such an inconsistent plank of wood in the DCEU or tell you how fucking ignorant he is towards both characters, I don’t know what will).

I understand that Manhattan is supposed to be subdued and disconnected from everyone and everything around him but would it’ve killed them to add some reverb to his voice or something? Cudrup, left aimless by an inept Snyder, has nothing to do but read out his lines like a fucking text-to-speech program. If I was blind I’d assume Dr. Manhattan is just a stuffy philosophy professor. Every scene with him is like the “Bueller.....Bueller.......Bueller....” scene from Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, but instead of being funny it’s meant to be meaningful and deep, maaaaan.

This bland performance undermines Manhattan's “big scene” so to speak, when Manhattan is confronted with the possibility that he’s been giving everyone round him fucking cancer an is so distraught that he leaves the fucking planet. At this point in the comic the portrayal of Manhattan alongside the driving forces of the plot have us invested towards what’s going on, but since the movie chooses to make Manhattan boring as possible and truncates the plot significantly, we don’t fucking care. Instead of the scene coming off as a dramatic turn for the character that leaves you breathless in awe and anticipation, it just comes off as weird and sudden, especially with that hard cut to Manhattan on Mars.

Back to the subject of changing aspects of an adaptation from it’s source material, Watchmen also fails at fixing the problems of the original graphic novel. The best adaptations of a piece of work should be able to stand on their own from the respective source material and also learn and improve from said material’s mistakes. The Godfather is an often used example of an adaptation that transcends it’s source material not only by remaining largely faithful to it but at the same time greatly improving on the original novel’s faults. That’s not to say that Watchmen is as deeply flawed or as boring as Mario Puzo’s original Godfather, quite the opposite in fact, but my point is that every adaptation has a responsibility to improve on the mistakes of it’s predecessor. In Watchmen’s case, it’s the sexual assault of the first Silk Spectre by The Comedian. 

Some of you may be asking “Wait, how is that a ‘mistake’?” The entire point of the assault in the novel was to help exemplify the paradoxes of human behavior (specifically Silk Spectre I forgiving and even going so far as loving The Comedian despite him sexually assaulting her) while also celebrating the miracle of human life (in this case Silk Spectre II, Laurie, being the result of their seemingly impossible relationship) which, in turn, restores Dr. Manhattan’s faith in humanity in the third act of the book when him and Laurie discover that she is in fact, the biological daughter of The Comedian, a man she learned to hate.

However, the question should be raised: Did Silk Spectre I need to be sexually assaulted for this specific plot point to work? I ask this because one of the many consistent problems with Alan Moore’s writing, from his run on Marvelman, to Lost Girls, is his very callous and flippant use of rape and violence against women as a plot point in his stories (“We know Alan Moore isn’t a misogynist but fuck, he’s obsessed with rape”-Grant Morrison). In Watchmen specifically, the whole Spectre-Comedian dynamic could’ve still worked without n explicit sexual assault, provided that another sufficient event occur between the two characters supplant the rape scene, and be polarizing enough to make the birth of a child between the two character’s nearly impossible. Again, the entire point of that sequence was to paint very complex portraits of The Comedian and Silk Spectre I, while also setting up Silk Spectre II’s birth to be seen as a miracle in Dr. Manhattan’s eyes enough for him to actually give a fuck about humanity.

I just find it appalling that a guy who fancies himself a proponent of “female empowerment” would look at this scene and instead of trying to come up with a better solution to Moore’s morbid fascination with rape in his stories, film it in the same fetishistic way the rest of the fucking action sequences in the film are shot. Who the fuck adds slo mo and cartoony whooshes to a rape scene.

Oh, Watchmen’s violence isn’t exclusively towards women either. Every queer person and POC within the novel is violently killed. The Silhouette, Hira Manish, Joey, little Bernie, and Dr. Malcolm Long all dead by the end of the novel, which is incredibly (ahem) problematic. What do Snyder and co. do to remedy this problem? Fucking nothing. Wait actually, they did do something; greatly mitigate or completely erase said characters’ significance within the narrative of the film. 

Again, part of this stems from the narrative of Watchmen being greatly condensed to a feature-length film, as many of these characters are secondary and tertiary within the plot and where thus cut out to provide more focus to the main characters and their conflicts and backstories. That being the case, would it’ve killed WB and the casting department to maybe cast more people of color for the main cast? Literally none of the main characters absolutely needed to be White, all of their conflicts and characteristics aren’t exclusive to White People. Ozymandias is probably the only character out of the bunch who’s Whiteness ties in with the construction of his character (given that, again, he is constructed to be a parody of what the 80′s thought was the “ideal man”, it makes sense that said man would be an incredibly fit, business savvy White guy). Hell, even the subplot of Silk Spectre I being embarrassed by her Polish heritage (and Laurie’s subsequent reclamation of said heritage) can be applied to any ethnic group within the United States.

Back to the modified ending, I think the worst part about the ending is how it doesn’t challenge you. Rorschach is constructed from the very beginning to be this unlikable, creepy weirdo. He’s a far right libertarian, the realization of what a vigilante like Batman would actually be like with the personality and thinking process of guys like Alex Jones, Peter Molyneux and Paul Joseph Watson, the exact opposite of a decent human being. It would’ve been much easier to have NiteOwl be the central character, but Moore and Gibbons chose Rorschach because at the end of the day Watchmen looks you in the eyes and asks “Hey, if Alex Jones/Peter Molyneux/Paul Joseph Watson were all actually right about the world, would you follow them?”. Ending the movie with a fucking Desolation Row by MCR acts like some sort of definitive victory by Rorschach and not an ominous question that hangs in the air and that’s supposed to make you sick.

The biggest irony about Watchmen is that rather than revolutionize the superhero subgenre of films the same way it’s source material did (said honor instead goes to The Dark Knight which set the tone of what cape-movies would be like until The Avengers came in and ushered the next “Age” so to speak of superhero films), it falls disastrously short and instead almost acts like a morbid blueprint of all of the shitty decisions that would plague the upcoming DCEU

Obvious music choices that are so on the nose with what emotions they’re trying to elicit from the audience that it’s almost to the point of parody? Check (Suicide Squad)

Tone deaf fetishization of violence? Check (Man of Steel, Batman v Superman and Suicide Squad)

Talented but occasionally misplaced cast that has no idea what to do because the directors and writers don’t fucking know how human beings work? Check (all of the above)

Awful costume designs that sits between “bland” and “overcomplicated” and occasionally fail to further the characterizations or themes within the film? Check (this also applies to most of the MCU given that Ryan Meinerding is the head of Marvel Studios’ Visual Development Department)

Really fucking pretentious, over written, lofty dialogue that attempts to elevate the events of the film and the one dimensionality of the characters? Check (all of the above)

A complete lack of understanding and respect for the specific books they’re adapting? Check (all of the above)

Really stupid “Hhhuur durrr, wat iff sooper heeros weer GODZ?!?!?” (a detail that, coincidentally, is barely touched upon in Watchmen and is shoved in by Snyder) shit that again, is used by Snyder and co. to “elevate” the source material and genre they’re so embarrassed to be in? Check (MoS and BvS)

Needlessly convoluted, dumb “”””””””plot”””””””””? Check (all of the above)

Attempts at sociopolitical commentary that falls so hard on their face it’s almost impossible to believe that the films were made by 30+ year old adults and not a bunch of 14 year old boys? Check (all of the above)

A one-dimensional antagonist that spews out empty platitudes? Check (all of the above)

Very obvious, terrible attempts at world building and feeding the audience information through visual language? Check (all of the above)

Awful fucking editing that harms the already broken narrative even further? Check (BvS and SS)

Uninspired, bland and obvious cinematography that looks like something a first year film student would make? Check (MoS and BvS)

Tone-deaf narratives that don’t make sense a post-9/11 world? Check (all of the above) 

Need I say more? Ironically enough Watchmen suffers from all of the problems that it’s source material was making fun of and indulges in all of the stupid “grim-dark” tropes that largely defined superhero comics in the 90′s.

It’s not entirely Snyder and co’s fault that Watchmen is shit, we also have to acknowledge the fact that making a Watchmen movie in 2009 would’ve been a bad idea no matter who was helming it. The primary reason that Watchmen was so electrifying and engaging in 1986 was because it pushed the boundaries of what established superhero comics even further than their contemporaries could and took well established tropes and ideas within the genre and again, gave them weight, consequences and turned them on their head. Given that Watchmen is a movie and not a comic book, it lacks the framework that it needed in order to be a valid and relevant deconstruction. The contemporary superhero genre in film at the time was only 9 years old and had barely began to coalesce into the superhero genre that dominates tv and movies that we know today. Back then there were very few established franchises that were relevant at the time, a majority of which were just mediocre, pale adaptations of their comic book counterparts, so there wasn’t much that a Watchmen movie built from the ground up could work with. In 2009 Watchmen was too late to ride the wave of relevancy the original graphic novel had created but also too early to plant itself as a deconstruction of a genre that had barely reached its adolescence in the film industry. Not only that, a narrative as dense as Watchmen would’ve never worked as a feature film, and the movie we got is clear evidence of that, forced to truncate its plot to fit within a reasonable running time.

This is partially why superhero tv shows are and have been so successful, and why the upcoming HBO adaption of Watchmen does have some promise. Superhero stories are, by nature, episodic, which is part of the reason why The Adventures of Superman, Batman ‘66, Wonder Woman ‘77, The Flash, Supergirl, Luke Cage, The Flash, Legion, Jessica Jones, Powers, Daredevil, The Tick, The uh, The Tick, etc are such great adaptations. Adapting Watchmen to TV is a massive step forward.....the only problem is they hired Damon Lindelof, who, may I remind you, was the mastermind behind such quality products such as Cowboys and Aliens, Lost, Prometheus, Tomorrow Land, World War Z, and Star Trek: Into Darkness. Yeah. Doesn’t inspire much confidence, hiring a man who’s infamous for making already complex narratives more confusing and pretentious. Let it also be known that this man is also partially responsible for Tomorrow Land being shit and because of that Disney cancelling Tron 3 and all of their future live-action movies that aren’t a Star Wars film, a needless remake of one of their own animated properties, a Pirates of the Caribbean film or a Marvel Movie. Let that fucking sink in.

This also bring up another important question: Did Watchmen even need to be made? For one, its important to address one of the more prevailing criticisms of this film. One of the many notable things Alan Moore is infamous for is his complete disdain and subsequent renunciation of any film adaption of his work. While some might argue that this is a bit hypocritical (especially towards the use of Moore’s concepts and characters by other writers such as Grant Morrison and Geoff Johns, which is pretty fucking stupid from Moore to hate on them for creating stories using his ideas considering so much of his fucking work is derived from other peoples work but I digress), it still stands that the primary creative mind behind Watchmen didn’t want this film to be made. This is an issue considering how much blind support this film receives by so many supposed fans (Snyder included), which in my eyes is quite disrespectful towards the original work’s author. If you truly loved a property and the people behind it, why would you support an adaptation one of the creators openly disavowed, and a shitty adaptation at that?

Now is it surprising that Snyder doesn’t really care or understand why Moore didn’t want this film to be made? No. This is the same guy who later, blindly praised Bob Kane for his creation of Batman, which was a pretty tone-deaf move considering that most of Batman’s mythos was created by the much underappreciated and abused writer Bill Finger (fuck, most of the art credited to Kane was allegedly done by “shadow artists” or stand-ins while Kane was down in Florida chasing pussy), and most of the industry and fandom largely resents Kane for the slimey opportunist he is. Whatever, Snyder doesn’t understand half the shit he’s adapting anyway, why should we expect him to respect or fully understand the creative elements behind them? Anyway, this film really only exists to make money, not because there was a strong demand for it or a cultural need for it to exist. 

This leads to my secondary point: Even if there was a more earnest, sincere creative motivation for this film to be made, there’s almost no point considering that there were other superhero properties that have already adapted many of the subject matters and themes of Watchmen and did it exceedingly better than this shit film.

The Incredibles gets the most credit for beating Watchmen to the punch (Justice League Unlimited also heavily dabbled with Watchmen’s themes and naturally understood it better than this shit film. Friendly reminder that both of these properties were aimed at kids and in JLU’s case explicitly exist to sell fucking toys. Remember that next time a DCEU stan jerks off Snyder’s shitty work for being “dark” and “mature”) when it came to deconstructing superheros.

It’s almost astounding how much The Incredibles has in common with Watchmen. Both are deconstructions on superheroes based round parodies of popular characters dealing with heavy themes of masculinity, legacy, domesticity, heroism, and nostalgia (while it is important to note that there are much heavier themes of objectivism in The Incredibles compared to Watchmen, who’s objectivist themes are mainly focused on Rorschach alone), framed around a high-stakes mystery thriller set in a world where superheros are forced to retire and are largely regarded with disdain, fighting an antagonist that used to align themselves with the superheros. For all intents and purposes, The Incredibles is a much more effective adaptation of Watchmen, which further negates the need for this film to even be here.

I dunno man. Watchmen sucked. I’m tired and annoyed with it being held as some paragon of superhero films because it’s fucking juvenile and can barely stand to most superhero movies today. I’m tired of the original novel being constantly referenced, poorly imitated, regurgitated, misunderstood and dragged through the mud. I honestly don’t really care for Geoff Johns’ upcoming Doomsday Clock, because it’s end goal is to just reconstruct the superhero genre but Watchmen’s central deconstructions and statements towards the genre were already addressed and rebutted by Mark Waid and Alex Ross’ excellent Kingdom Come, a book that fucking came out 21 years ago, further negating any sort of cultural need for Watchmen to exist. There’s a reason why Waid and Ross started the main conflict of Kingdom Come off by killing almost all of the Charleton characters that Watchmen parodied.

The industry and general community had collectively learned from and moved beyond Watchmen, its DNA can be found in almost every modern superhero comic. Constantly going back to it and revering it as the epitome of cape comics is regressive. It’s like if people kept holding the Subaru 1000 as the absolute best standard for cars when we have 50+ years worth of automobiles that have learned from it and actually perform much better. My final thoughts on the whole thing can best be described by Alan Moore himself:

Get over Watchmen, get over the 1980s. It doesn’t have to be depressing miserable grimness from now until the end of time. It was only a bloody comic. It wasn’t a jail sentence.

[secret-diary-of-an-fa]

2020: The Year That ALMOST Saved Culture

CONTENT WARNING: Culture is fucked; COVID and death; cocaine and deceased hookers. You know, the usual.

So, before COVID rocked up and basically fucked everything, 2020 looked like it might be the year that legitimately saved cinematic (and potentially televisual) culture. For years- and I mean insufferable fucking years- big genre-oriented studios (both cinematic and televised) ignored long-time fans and established fan-bases in order to cater to a more mainstream audience with less abtruse, specific tastes. Ghostbusters 2016 thought that it could get away with sucking the wit and surprisingly downbeat verbal, character-driven humour out of the franchise, leaving only the slapstick shell with a lazy, gender-flipped gimmick to draw dipshits in like the dangling light on a deep sea angler fish. Star Trek: Discovery moved in the opposite direction, taking an earnest, hopeful series with a vast ensemble cast and tightening the focus around one bell-end while everyone bickered like fuckwits in the background in a bid to create a more pointlessly fraught mood that low-brow angst-havers could relate to. Hellboy 2019 traded touching, likeable characters and a world that balanced Lovecraftian darkness with off-the-cuff whimsy for overblown spectacle and flat characters (made worse by the fact the film purported to be truer to the original comics but had clearly missed the point). And you know what, I’m still in the camp that says the Disney-era Star Wars films were a pretentious waste of time that shat on the legacy of the original just as badly as the fucking awful prequels.

However, perhaps the saddest on-screen failure of the last few years was Justice League. Fuck. Justice League should have been great. A lot of people hated the darker, grimier take of the Snyder-helmed Man of Steel/ Batman v Superman/ etc early DCEU, but I- and a large, loyal fanbase besides- absolutely loved it. It was great to see a version of the superhero genre that played so confidently with the real-world consequences of superpowers and the concept of modern mythology. And then poor old Snyder couldn’t finish Justice League, because he suffered a bereavement and the studio took the opportunity to rope Joss Whedon into the project because he’s a more accessible, mainstream director (no offence to Whedon, incidentally- I actually love his work on his own fucking projects: he just shouldn’t have been near this one). The studio’s thinking seemed to be that getting A LOT OF MONEY from a loyal fanbase of die-hard supporters wasn’t sufficient and they’d rather have ALL THE MONEY IN THE WORLD, courtesy of a vast sea of mainstream consumers. Predictably, the film was a tonally-inconsistent mess and didn’t even make a lot of money, because (unlike die-hard fans) mainstream film-goers are flighty culture-hussies with no staying power who are easily distracted by every shiny object to bounce through their peripheral vision. The whole DCEU was forced to re-tool its direction and we got some good films out of it (most notably Shazam!, which just kicked a million times more arse than it had any right to), but the dream of an actual mature, nuanced, mythically-resonant superhero project with big cinema bucks behind it died on the vine.

Bascially, between the shitty virtue-signalling of gender-flipped sci-fi reboots, the over-the-top edgelord grimwashing of niche, charming little fantasies and the neutering of genuinely dark and complex budding superhero universes, the genre landscape at the end of 2019 was a fucking wasteland populated by horrible, poorly-conceived mutant franchises with terminally damaged DNA and no real sense of unique identity. Even the Terminator series finally seemed to be dying, and after so many bad movies and comebacks, I think we’d all just assumed that one was unkillable. Culturally, us nerds were in the shit. It was the eleventh hour and the cavalry weren’t coming.

Then something remarkable and quite possibly unprecedented happened. The big money folks behind the major studios stopped acting like the arrogant, charmless, talentless fuckwads that they are and instead (let jaws drop across the world) actually listened to fans! Not ‘audiences’, in that horribly amorphous and meaningless sense of the word, but the actual fucking fans. The studio bosses actually stopped snorting cocaine off of dead hookers for a minute and took the time to make a good decision. It started, rather grandly, with a sequel to a new Ghostbusters film... except this one wasn’t going to be a reboot or a retelling with a more air-headed script and a cast more palatable to modern audiences. Instead, it was to be a sequel to the original 80s films that specifically erased the 2016 reboot and refocused on characters who- while updated for the modern world- could still be more closely identified with the fans who loved the originals than whatever insane what-stupid-people-want checklist the 2016 berks were working from.

Other smaller things were happening at around the same time. Notably, towards the end of 2019, a truly lovely ten-year-old zombie comedy called Zombieland got a long overdue sequel that was entirely in the spirit of the original with no ridiculous attempt to bring it up-to-date, while adverts for the next installment of the semi-dormant Kingsman series started cropping up at the beginning of 2020. As isolated incidents, these things were just flashes in the pan: little positives in a cultural landscape of mind-squanching negativity. Contextualised by the arrival of Ghostbusters: Afterlife, they pointed towards a genre film industry that realised (at least on some level) something had gone terribly, terribly wrong and was edging its way back to a previous era of film-making from before everything when terribly, terribly wrong.

Then, the icing on the cake: the release of the Justice League Snyder Cut was finally announced. Zacky-boy was going to be allowed to finish his own fucking film (albeit, probably, in the form of a six-part miniseries) and the superhero genre was going to gain, at the very least, a last hoorah for the abortive darker-mythic project started in Man of Steel and, at the very most, a whole new timeline to keep that dream alive. I can’t really express my feelings on The Snyder Cut in a single paragraph- I’m gonna need to take a whole blog entry for that one, which I will do, soon. Suffice it to say, I was a very happy bunny.

Then COVID happened. 2020 was supposed to be the year to fix everything- or at least, all the things that could be fixed (Doctor Who was still broken beyond repair and, outside of the cultural sphere, the world was still fucked, with an upper class twit in 10 Downing Street and an evil cheesy whatsit in the Whitehouse). But, with cinemas closing and the production of new cultural artefacts getting bottlenecked by the sudden demobilisation of content creators, the high hopes that 2020 brought with it started to evaporate.

Britain is just now coming out of Lockdown (too early to be safe, by the way- did I mention we have a twit for a Prime Minister?) and that could be... interesting. You see, while coming out of Lockdown midway through the year before a vaccine is ready might be a very bad thing for humans, it could be a pretty good thing for culture, because it gives us time to play catch-up. There’s still time to release the films and miniseries that we need to start healing the liminal dustbowl that genre fiction has become. Here’s hoping that we can still salvage that at least. I mean, it’s no substitute for saveing actual humans from the crisis, but the situation we have is the situation we have and we might as well make the best of it. Roll on the fucking Snyder Cut.

[krinsbez]

My Superheroverse: GEASA

As the DNApes was one of the more popular of my self-reblogs, I’m gonna start posting, for the first time tumblr, and sometimes, perhaps, anywhere, stuff from my personal superheroverse.

If I’m gonna go more into my superheroverse, there are some basics I gotta lay down first.

To begin with, the 'Verse is centered around the Global Extranormal Affairs and Services Agency, GEASA for short. It's the international organization in charge of interacting with superpowered types, aliens, magic-users, dudes in costumes, and all the other such people, collectively referred to as "extranormals". Founded in the period after WWII when the US and Soviets had realized they were going to be enemies but hadn't gotten around to admitting it yet, GEASA is organized like a deck of cards. It has four main branches, named after the four suits in cards: -Hearts: In charge of PR, interacting with governments and other agencies, etc. as well as handling bureaucratic and administrative stuff. -Diamonds: In charge of R&D, not only into superhuman powers themselves, but into the various exotic technologies and magic that crop up in such a setting. -Spades: In charge of dealing with the capture, confinement, and if necessary elimination of hostile extranormals -Clubs: In charge of dealing with friendly extranormals; includes registration, training, and providing various services. Following the card theme, personnel are ranked "Two of X" to "Ten of X". Each branch is run by an Ace, supported by a King, Queen, and Jack. The organization as a whole is run by the Black Joker and Red Joker. GEASA's remit is fairly extensive, having grown from "deal with superpowered types" to "deal with anything related to extranormals" over the decades. In order to become a superhero, one must have a license. To obtain this license, one must first fill out an application, which can be acquired at any GEASA office. The application requires one to list one's code name, powers, extant enemies, and contact info. The form also has spaces for power origin, real identity, place of residence, etc. but this is optional. The data thus submitted is 100% confidential, and is kept in secure facilities (they've had a grand total of 3 breaches in the over half a century that they've been collectign this data) After submitting the form, one waits for them to contact you, and establish dates and times to submit to a series of examinations, testing your physical abilties and psychological state, in order to determine if you've got the right stuff for the job. If you pass these tests, the next step is training. All prospective superheroes are trained in controlling and optimizing their powers, hand-to-hand combat, detective skills, their legal rights and responsibilities, ethics, how to preserve one's secret identity, and first aid. One may apply for more advanced training in these, and many other subjects, ranging from swordplay and marksmanship to xenobiology and time travel physics, to magery and exorcism. As a final exercise, the trainee is given the name of a civilian who died due to extranormal activity, and told to research that person's life, death, and loved ones; the idea of course, being to impress upon the trainee the importance of avoiding collateral casualties. (side note: this was inspired by the bit in 52 when Black Adam reminds Power Girl how many people died during Infinite Crisis) Upon completing training, one receives a license that permits one to engage in superheroing activity, testify in court while masked, and be immune to lawsuits for collateral damage and suchlike. One is also assigned a case-worker and a therapist, regular visits to both being mandatory. In addition to this, GEASA offers superheroes an array of services, including medical treatment, financial add, tutoring (for those superheroes who have not completed their educations), access to social events, etc. One of GEASA's most important tools is the Aigle family. In the early Renaissance (in my superheroverse, the age of heroes didn't start before WWII; there have ALWAYS been superheroes and villains; the numbers increased dramatically in the 1900s, and they haven't gone down since), a peasant named Aigle was found to have the ability to negate superpowers (modern science has discovered that the Aigles do what they do by generating reality-warping "exotic energies"). So did his seven children (four girls, three boys). Subsequently, said children became effectively the property of the Crown. Over the next several centuries, the Aigle family was treated not only as chattel, but as cattle, bred for their gifts cousin to cousin, sibling to sibling, parent to child. This breeding reached its pinnacle in the early 1800s, with a generation able to permanently remove powers from people they'd never met. This same generation was the first of their family in centuries to be liberated, given the same rights and privileges as any French citizen. By this time of course, the Aigles had become a rather odd and clannish bunch, with their own customs and dialect, often quite alien to that of their countrymen. Still, they took to exogamy with a vengeance, finding love not only with people outside their family, but outside their race; Jews and Gypsies, Arabs and Africans, even Indians of both types. By the 1930s, the Aigles could no longer be called Caucasian. Needless to say, the Nazi occupation was not pleasant for them. Faced with the prospect of returning to enslavement or worse, the Aigle's made the difficult decision to scatter. Some managed to smuggle themselves to other nations. Some hid amongst the people of France. More than a few simply committed suicide. And, sadly, some were captured by the Nazis, and either pressed into service against Allied superhumans or experimented on. WWII was thus a horribly traumatic experience for the Aigle family, and they resolved to never again to be so powerless. With this in mind, they joined GEASA en masse. The fledgling agency welcomed them, not only because of their gift, but because their lack of national or ideological loyalties made them ideal agents for an organization trying desperately not to be a pawn in the Cold War. Today, Aigles can be found in every branch of GEASA at every level, including the Black Joker herself, Dorothee Adelaide Aigle. Since WWII, they've become less exogamous, but the outbreeding has had the effect of weakening their gift; the most any of them can do is temporarily turn-off powers of someone they're looking at, and many cannot even do that, merely being able to weaken powers. Also, periodically someone will appear who is so strong that they are immune. In addition to the Aigles, GEASA employs other "unconventional" personnel. For example, the Diamonds branch is positively infested with variably reformed Mad Scientists; also Mad Psychics, Mad Alchemists, Mad Sorcerers…you get the idea. Speaking of personnel, each branch is further divided into general personnel and special taskforces. A small sampling: Hearts: -The Red Knights are GEASA’s Internal Affairs division. The name comes from the fact that the unit is led by Kai Ectorsson, the time-lost seneschal of Camelot. -The Enforcers, despite the rather aggressive name, are in fact a team of lawyers and diplomats, tasked with making sure the nations of the world abide by the various Extranormal-related treaties that have sprung up over the years, and taking appropriate measures when those treaties are violated.

Spades: -Special Protocol Armed Response Operations, or SPARO, units are the GEASA equivalent of SWAT teams, tasked with providing paramilitary backup to both regular agents and superheroes. SPARO troopers are highly trained, well-equipped, and can go head to head with just about any special forces unit in the world (barring the Gurkhas, of course) and come out on top. The SPARO’s finest hour was undoubtedly Operation: GEMINI, when seven SPARO teams invaded Hell. I’ll be talking more about Operation: GEMINI later, as well as about a particular team. -The Curse-Breakers, sometimes also called the Witch-Finders (a term they hate, BTW), are tasked with hunting down minor Black magic practitioners (the big stuff tends to get handled by mystic super-heroes) and cleaning up their mess. The Curse-Breakers are known for being very leery of the word “witch”, preferring the term “maleficars”. They also tend to get apoplectic when people mention old-school witch trials and the Malleus Maleficarum.

Diamonds: -The Forecasters are a team of psychics, oracles, mystics, and computer programmers who use a combination of ESP, prophecy, divination, and computer modeling to predict the future. Their record is spotty (they have a tendency to be either kind of vague or so specific that nothing can be done), but they have managed to provide warning of several major crises and many more minor ones, so they’re kept around. The head of the unit is a firm believer in Cartomancy via regular playing cards, and all members of the unit have at least some skill in the art. They unsurprisingly also have a reputation as card sharks. -The Brave Little Tailors are a team of scientists and sorcerers tasked with finding ways of working with people with “lesser” powers, and enhancing them into “big league” status. Their work is somewhat controversial, and due to unfortunate incidents in the past, they are very carefully monitored.

Clubs: -Team Hollywood is made up of publicists and copyright attorneys, tasked with helping superheroes license their names and images for various products, and making sure that they get the most bucks for their bang, if you catch my meaning. It is rumored that certain elements within the Hearts branch feel that Team Hollywood’s responsibilities fall under their bailiwick, and so a certain amount of rivalry exists. -The Cleaners are the unit sent in when a superhero’s identity is compromised. It is their task to evaluate the damage, determine what steps need to be taken to fix the situation, and then take those steps. This can range from coming up with cover stories, to bribes, to memory wipes, to making like Witsec. Over the years, GEASA has developed its own unique culture. Part of this is a collection of slang and terminology of their own creation. A small sampling:

-VILL: Used the way ordinary cops use “perp”; as in “The vill calls himself Krimson Komet.” Is simply a shortened form of the word “villain”. -BOKE: An attack by a giant-sized animal; as in “We’ve got a spider boke in Cleveland.” Some years ago, the there was a bit of a craze amongst Aigile children for The Hoboken Chicken Emergency, a book by Daniel Pinkwater, in which Hoboken, New Jersey is “terrorized” by a giant chicken. This led to attacks by giant monsters being referred to as “hoboken chicken emergencies”, which was subsequently shortened to “hoboken chickens”, then “hobokens”, then just “bokes”.

-DEAD FISH: A situation that is spiraling out of control; as in “I’ve got a real dead fish on my hands here.” In the 1970s, GEASA’s Ankara office received a package containing a dead fish. A comedy of errors subsequently ensued, in which a series of mistakes, misunderstandings, and misguided attempts at revenge and/or humor resulted in various GEASA offices sending each other increasingly large packages of dead fish, culminating six years later in the Pentagon Liason Office receiving a package containing two and half dead hammerhead sharks and seven seahorses. At this point, an embarrassed Red Joker stepped in and put an end to the practice.

-KOSCH: The act of a government, police force, corporation, or other non-GEASA organization being uncooperative; as in “The local cops are kosching me.” In the mid-1980s, the Soviet government came into possession of several artifact that had belonged to the undead sorcerer Koschei the Deathless. Rather than handing said artifacts to GEASA as obligated by treaty, they decided to experiment with them. Subsequently, the CIA tumbled to the project; rather than calling in GEASA as was their treaty obligation, they decided to sabotage the project. Due to not really grasping the forces being dealt with, said sabotage resulted in Koschei being restored to (un)life, and subsequently going on a conquering spree. Rather than do the sensible thing and call on GEASA’s expertise, the Soviet government tried to deal with the situation themselves. Two months later, they realized they were out of their depth and made the call. At this point, the situation was beyond the ability of the normal protocols to contain, and specialized plans had to be enacted. However, since the Soviets did not know what precisely went wrong, they were unable to provide the data for said plans. It took another three months for the CIA to admit what THEY had done, finally giving GEASA the full story and thus the ability to produce appropriate countermeasures. By this point, thousands of people had been killed or traumatized, and millions of rubles worth of damages had been produced. While GEASA maintains bases all over the world, and offices in most major cities, their two primary bases, where the Jokers hang out, are REBEL YELL and the Shark Islands. REBEL YELL is a space station with a somewhat complicated history. See, back in the ‘50s, there was a wave of bokes (although, the name wasn’t coined until decades later). Given that the nations of the world had other priorities (like pointing nukes at each other), it fell to GEASA to deal with this sort of thing. One attempted measure was the creation of the Iolaus Missile, which upon detonation releases a sonic wave set at a frequency designed to mess with the inner ear of giant-sized critters. It doesn’t work on all kaiju (many of them aren’t quite big enough and some of ‘em don’t have ears), and it usually isn’t lethal, but it helps to soften up about 80% of the oversized beasties. The problem was that frequent as they were, bokes weren’t common enough to make producing enough Iolaus’ for global coverage cost effective. In the ‘70s, after a particularly unpleasant event, in which the time spent setting up an Iolaus strike cost way too much in both lives and money, the superhero Johnny Reb suggested to his GEASA handler that the Iolaus’ be deployed from space. GEASA took this and ran with it, resulting in a network of Iolaus-armed satellites being put in orbit; a network codenamed REBEL YELL in honor of the idea’s originator. In the ‘80s, an alien force took over one of the RY satellites, and began modifying it into a massive fortress, a beachhead for an invasion. The invasion was thwarted, but the satellite-turned-station survived, and GEASA took possession of it. The rest of the original RY network was eventually decommissioned, but the station remained, and is the primary HQ of the Red Joker. The Shark Islands are a group of three islands (referred to as Big Shark Island, Little Shark Island, and Castle Island, respectively), that are right smack in the middle of the waters held by the Republic of the Shark People (which is exactly what it sounds like), and thus, are the only land the Shark People claim. As gesture of good faith with us humans, the Shark People generously loaned them to GEASA on a permanent basis. Big Shark is not only the primary location for trade and diplomacy with the Shark People, it is also home to the HQ of the Black Joker. Little Shark is kept aside as a training area for GEASA agents and rookie superheroes. Castle Island is not, in fact an island, but an Island Beast (a sea monster so huge that plants grow on it’s back and it is easily mistaken for an island when it isn’t moving) made undead and obedient by a magician who built a castle on its back. The magician died centuries ago, and GEASA took possession of the “island”, the castle, and the vast assortment of magical goodies inside the castle during the ‘60s. Today, the castle is a storage vault for confiscated magic stuff, as well as a laboratory for research into said magic stuff.

[clusterassets]

New world news from Time: The Revolutionary Power of Black Panther

The Revolutionary Power of Black Panther

Marvel’s new movie marks a major milestone By JAMIL SMITH

The first movie I remember seeing in a theater had a black hero. Lando Calrissian, played by Billy Dee Williams, didn’t have any superpowers, but he ran his own city. That movie, the 1980 Star Wars sequel The Empire Strikes Back, introduced Calrissian as a complicated human being who still did the right thing. That’s one reason I grew up knowing I could be the same.

If you are reading this and you are white, seeing people who look like you in mass media probably isn’t something you think about often. Every day, the culture reflects not only you but nearly infinite versions of you—executives, poets, garbage collectors, soldiers, nurses and so on. The world shows you that your possibilities are boundless. Now, after a brief respite, you again have a President.

Those of us who are not white have considerably more trouble not only finding representation of ourselves in mass media and other arenas of public life, but also finding representation that indicates that our humanity is multi­faceted. Relating to characters onscreen is necessary not merely for us to feel seen and understood, but also for others who need to see and understand us. When it doesn’t happen, we are all the poorer for it.

[time-ad size=”large”]

This is one of the many reasons Black Panther is significant. What seems like just another entry in an endless parade of super­hero movies is actually something much bigger. It hasn’t even hit theaters yet and its cultural footprint is already enormous. It’s a movie about what it means to be black in both America and Africa—and, more broadly, in the world. Rather than dodge complicated themes about race and identity, the film grapples head-on with the issues affecting modern-day black life. It is also incredibly entertaining, filled with timely comedy, sharply choreographed action and gorgeously lit people of all colors. “You have superhero films that are gritty dramas or action comedies,” director Ryan Coogler tells TIME. But this movie, he says, tackles another important genre: “Superhero films that deal with issues of being of African descent.”

MarvelBlack Panther features tense action sequences: “There was a point during the movie when my brother turned to me and said, ‘What’s gonna happen?’” Boseman says. “I looked at him like, ‘Just watch the movie!’”

Black Panther is the 18th movie in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, a franchise that has made $13.5 billion at the global box office over the past 10 years. (Marvel is owned by Disney.) It may be the first mega­budget movie—not just about superheroes, but about anyone—to have an African-American director and a predominantly black cast. Hollywood has never produced a blockbuster this splendidly black.

The movie, out Feb. 16, comes as the entertain­ment industry is wrestling with its toxic treatment of women and persons of color. This rapidly expanding reckoning—one that reflects the importance of representation in our culture—is long overdue. Black Panther is poised to prove to Hollywood that African-American narratives have the power to generate profits from all audiences. And, more important, that making movies about black lives is part of showing that they matter.

The invitation to the Black Panther premiere read “Royal attire requested.” Yet no one showed up to the Dolby Theatre on Hollywood Boulevard on Jan. 29 looking like an extra from a British costume drama. On display instead were crowns of a different sort—ascending head wraps made of various African fabrics. Oscar winner Lupita Nyong’o wore her natural hair tightly wrapped above a resplendent bejeweled purple gown. Men, including star Chadwick Boseman and Coogler, wore Afrocentric patterns and clothing, dashikis and boubous. Co-star Daniel Kaluuya, an Oscar nominee for his star turn in Get Out, arrived wearing a kanzu, the formal tunic of his Ugandan ancestry.

After the Obama era, perhaps none of this should feel groundbreaking. But it does. In the midst of a regressive cultural and political moment fueled in part by the white-nativist movement, the very existence of Black Panther feels like resistance. Its themes challenge institutional bias, its characters take unsubtle digs at oppressors, and its narrative includes prismatic perspectives on black life and tradition. The fact that Black Panther is excellent only helps.

Photograph by Williams + Hirakawa for TIME

Back when the film was announced, in 2014, nobody knew that it would be released into the fraught climate of President Trump’s America—where a thriving black future seems more difficult to see. Trump’s reaction to the Charlottesville chaos last summer equated those protesting racism with violent neo-Nazis defending a statue honoring a Confederate general. Immigrants from Mexico, Central America and predominantly Muslim countries are some of the President’s most frequent scapegoats. So what does it mean to see this film, a vision of unmitigated black excellence, in a moment when the Commander in Chief reportedly, in a recent meeting, dismissed the 54 nations of Africa as “sh-thole countries”?

As is typical of the climate we’re in, Black Panther is already running into its share of trolls—including a Facebook group that sought, unsuccessfully, to flood the review aggregator Rotten Tomatoes with negative ratings of the film. That Black Panther signifies a threat to some is unsurprising. A fictional African King with the technological war power to destroy you—or, worse, the wealth to buy your land—may not please someone who just wants to consume the latest Marvel chapter without deeper political consideration. Black Panther is emblematic of the most productive responses to bigotry: rather than going for hearts and minds of racists, it celebrates what those who choose to prohibit equal representation and rights are ignoring, willfully or not. They are missing out on the full possibility of the world and the very America they seek to make “great.” They cannot stop this representation of it. When considering the folks who preemptively hate Black Panther and seek to stop it from influencing American culture, I echo the response that the movie’s hero T’Challa is known to give when warned of those who seek to invade his home country: Let them try.

[time-ad size=”large”]

The history of black power and the movement that bore its name can be traced back to the summer of 1966. The activist Stokely Carmichael was searching for something more than mere liberty. To him, integration in a white-dominated America meant assimilation by default. About one year after the assassination of Malcolm X and the Watts riots in Los Angeles, Carmichael took over the Student Non­violent Coordinating Committee from John Lewis. Carmichael decided to move the organization away from a philosophy of pacifism and escalate the group’s militancy to emphasize armed self-defense, black business ownership and community control.

In June of that year, James Meredith, an activist who four years earlier had become the first black person admitted to Ole Miss, started the March Against Fear, a long walk of protest from Memphis to Mississippi, alone. On the second day of the march, he was wounded by a gunman. Carmichael and tens of thousands of others continued in Meredith’s absence. Carmichael, who was arrested halfway through the march, was incensed upon his release. “The only way we gonna stop them white men from whuppin’ us is to take over,” he declared before a passionate crowd on June 16. “We been saying freedom for six years and we ain’t got nothin’. What we gonna start sayin’ now is Black Power!”

ATMS/AP/REX/ShutterstockThe activist Stokely Carmichael, pictured here at a 1966 rally in Berkeley, Calif., took a stand against white oppression and helped popularize the term black power

Black Panther was born in the civil rights era, and he reflected the politics of that time. The month after Carmichael’s Black Power declaration, the character debuted in Marvel Comics’ Fantastic Four No. 52. Supernatural strength and agility were his main features, but a genius intellect was his best attribute. “Black Panther” wasn’t an alter ego; it was the formal title for T’Challa, King of Wakanda, a fictional African nation that, thanks to its exclusive hold on the sound-absorbent metal vibranium, had become the most technologically advanced nation in the world.

It was a vision of black grandeur and, indeed, power in a trying time, when more than 41% of ­African Americans were at or below the poverty line and comprised nearly a third of the nation’s poor. Much like the iconic Lieutenant Uhura character, played by Nichelle Nichols, that debuted in Star Trek in September 1966, Black Panther was an expression of Afrofuturism—an ethos that fuses African mythologies, technology and science fiction and serves to rebuke conventional depictions of (or, worse, efforts to bring about) a future bereft of black people. His white creators, Stan Lee and Jack Kirby, did not consciously conjure a fantasy-world response to Carmichael’s call, but the image still held power. T’Challa was not only strong and educated; he was also royalty. He didn’t have to take over. He was already in charge.

“You might say that this African nation is fantasy,” says Boseman, who portrays T’Challa in the movie. “But to have the opportunity to pull from real ideas, real places and real African concepts, and put it inside of this idea of Wakanda—that’s a great opportunity to develop a sense of what that identity is, especially when you’re disconnected from it.”

The character emerged at a time when the civil rights movement rightfully began to increase its demands of an America that had promised so much and delivered so little to its black population. Fifty-two years after the introduction of T’Challa, those demands have yet to be fully answered. According to the Federal Reserve, the typical African-American family had a median net worth of $17,600 in 2016. In contrast, white households had a median net worth of $171,000. The revolutionary thing about Black Panther is that it envisions a world not devoid of racism but one in which black people have the wealth, technology and military might to level the playing field—a scenario applicable not only to the predominantly white landscape of Hollywood but, more important, to the world at large.

The Black Panther Party, the revolutionary organization founded in Oakland, Calif., a few months after T’Challa’s debut, was depicted in the media as a threatening and radical group with goals that differed dramatically from the more pacifist vision of civil rights leaders like Martin Luther King Jr. and Lewis. Marvel even briefly changed the character’s name to Black Leopard because of the inevitable association with the Panthers, but soon reverted. For some viewers, “Black Panther” may have undeservedly sinister connotations, but the 2018 film reclaims the symbol to be celebrated by all as an avatar for change.

The urgency for change is partly what Carmichael was trying to express in the summer of ’66, and the powers that be needed to listen. It’s still true in 2018.

Marvel

Moviegoers first encountered Boseman’s T’Challa in Marvel’s 2016 ensemble hit Captain America: Civil War, and he instantly cut a striking figure in his sleek vibranium suit. As Black Panther opens, with T’Challa grieving the death of his father and coming to grips with his sudden ascension to the Wakandan throne, it’s clear that our hero’s royal upbringing has kept him sheltered from the realities of how systemic racism has touched just about every black life across the globe.

The comic, especially in its most recent incarnations as rendered by the writers Ta-Nehisi Coates and Roxane Gay, has worked to expunge Euro­centric misconceptions of Africa—and the film’s imagery and thematic material follow suit. “People often ask, ‘What is Black Panther? What is his power?’ And they have a misconception that he only has power through his suit,” says Boseman. “The character is existing with power inside power.”

Coogler says that Black Panther, like his previous films—including the police-brutality drama Fruitvale Station and his innovative Rocky sequel Creed—explores issues of identity. “That’s something I’ve always struggled with as a person,” says the director. “Like the first time that I found out I was black.” He’s talking less about an epidermal self-awareness than about learning how white society views his black skin. “Not just identity, but names. ‘Who are you?’ is a question that comes up a lot in this film. T’Challa knows exactly who he is. The antagonist in this film has many names.”

[time-ad size=”large”]

That villain comes in the form of Erik “Killmonger” Stevens, a former black-ops soldier with Wakandan ties who seeks to both outwit and beat down T’Challa for the crown. As played by a scene-­stealing Michael B. Jordan, Killmonger’s motivations illuminate thorny questions about how black people worldwide should best use their power.

In the movie, Killmonger is, like Coogler, a native of Oakland. By exploring the disparate experiences of Africans and African Americans, Coogler shines a bright light on the psychic scars of slavery’s legacy and how black Americans endure the real-life consequences of it in the present day. Killmonger’s perspective is rendered in full; his rage over how he and other black people across the world have been disenfranchised and disempowered is justifiable.

Coogler, who co-wrote the screenplay with Joe Robert Cole, also includes another important antagonist from the comics: the dastardly and bigoted Ulysses Klaue (Andy Serkis). “What I love about this experience is that it could have been the idea of black exploitation: he’s gonna fight Klaue, he’s gonna go after the white man and that’s it—that’s the enemy,” Boseman says. He recognizes that some fans will take issue with a black male villain fighting black protagonists. Killmonger fights not only T’Challa, but also warrior women like the spy Nakia (Nyong’o), Okoye (Danai Gurira) and the rest of the Dora Milaje, T’Challa’s all-female royal guards. Killmonger and Shuri (Letitia Wright), T’Challa’s quippy tech-genius sister, also face off.

T’Challa and Killmonger are mirror images, separated only by the accident of where they were born. “What they don’t realize,” Boseman says, “is that the greatest conflict you will ever face will be the conflict with yourself.”

Both T’Challa and Killmonger had to be compelling in order for the movie to succeed. “Obviously, the superhero is who puts you in the seat,” Coogler says.

“That’s who you want to see come out on top. But I’ll be damned if the villains ain’t cool too. They have to be able to stand up to the hero, and have you saying, ‘Man, I don’t know if the hero’s going to make it out of this.’”

“If you don’t have that,” Boseman says, “you don’t have a movie.”

MarvelOn set, Coogler works with star Gurira. “Black Panther is about a guy who works with his family and is responsible for a whole country,” he says. “That responsibility doesn’t turn off.”

This is not just a movie about a black superhero; it’s very much a black movie. It carries a weight that neither Thor nor Captain America could lift: serving a black audience that has long gone under­represented. For so long, films that depict a reality where whiteness isn’t the default have been ghettoized, marketed largely to audiences of color as niche entertainment, instead of as part of the mainstream. Think of Tyler Perry’s Madea movies, Malcolm D. Lee’s surprise 1999 hit The Best Man or the Barbershop franchise that launched in 2002. But over the past year, the success of films including Get Out and Girls Trip have done even bigger business at the box office, led to commercial acclaim and minted new stars like Kaluuya and Tiffany Haddish. Those two hits have only bolstered an argument that has persisted since well before Spike Lee made his debut: black films with black themes and black stars can and should be marketed like any other. No one talks about Woody Allen and Wes Anderson movies as “white movies” to be marketed only to that audience.

Black Panther marks the biggest move yet in this wave: it’s both a black film and the newest entrant in the most bankable movie franchise in history. For a wary and risk-averse film business, led largely by white film executives who have been historically predisposed to greenlight projects featuring characters who look like them, Black Panther will offer proof that a depiction of a reality of something other than whiteness can make a ton of money.

The film’s positive reception—as of Feb. 6, the day initial reviews surfaced, it had a 100% rating on Rotten Tomatoes—bodes well for its commercial prospects. Variety predicted that it could threaten the Presidents’ Day weekend record of $152 million, set in 2016 by Deadpool.

Some of the film’s early success can be credited to Nate Moore, an African­-American executive producer in Marvel’s film division who has been vocal about the importance of including black characters in the Marvel universe. But beyond Wakanda, the questions of power and responsibility, it seems, are not only applicable to the characters in Black Panther. Once this film blows the doors off, as expected, Hollywood must do more to reckon with that issue than merely greenlight more black stories. It also needs more Nate Moores.

“I know people [in the entertainment industry] are going to see this and aspire to it,” Boseman says. “But this is also having people inside spaces—gatekeeper positions, people who can open doors and take that idea. How can this be done? How can we be represented in a way that is aspirational?”

Because Black Panther marks such an unprecedented moment that excitement for the film feels almost kinetic. Black Panther parties are being organized, pre- and post-film soirées for fans new and old. A video of young Atlanta students dancing in their classroom once they learned they were going to see the film together went viral in early February. Oscar winner Octavia Spencer announced on her Insta­gram account that she’ll be in Mississippi when Black Panther opens and that she plans to buy out a theater “in an underserved community there to ensure that all our brown children can see themselves as a superhero.”

Many civil rights pioneers and other trailblazing forebears have received lavish cinematic treatments, in films including Malcolm X, Selma and Hidden Figures. Jackie Robinson even portrayed himself onscreen. Fictional celluloid champions have included Virgil Tibbs, John Shaft and Foxy Brown. Lando, too. But Black Panther matters more, because he is our best chance for people of every color to see a black hero. That is its own kind of power.

  [time-ad size=”large”]

February 08, 2018 at 05:30PM ClusterAssets Inc., https://ClusterAssets.wordpress.com