#is a concept that's stayed with me for years
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It has been YEARS since I have writen anything. I more so draw. Maybe later if you like I can try but... the Deadlock Mecha au with Ratchet ❤ it goes brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
(Wrote this in three hours. No editing. Spur of the moment dump. Apologizes for the length and how it bounces around. I imagine Deadlock had saved Ratchet and his team somehow. Ratchet in turn tries to save the person inside Deadlock. Finding no human Ratchet instead saves the Cybertonian realizing he is more then a mechine.)
****
Deadlock's optics dart around the bioengineer's lab as he stays crouched on one knee. He keeps his servos flat on the floor to stay steady in the small hanger. He doesn't want to bump into the over head lights any more then he has. He is almost at his limit. When he crawled in here he didn't expect to be surrounded by screaming squishies. He's had enough of the small creatures running around him calling out for help. Let their 'help' come. He will tear apart anything that comes between him and the human that saved his life.
Ratchet, the spitfire of a human had bothered saving him when his own kind left him to leak out in the mud. Cared enough to find fuel and feed him. He had learned quickly that Ratchet has a brilliant and clever processer. He matches Deadlock's glossa with his own with zero hesitation and either has no self preservation or no concept of fear. Which ever one, whatever keeps Ratchet going strong and steady could scare Unicron himself into submission.
Deadlock gives a fond hum as he recalls onlining to a very small hand petting his cheek muttering, "It's ok kid we're getting you out of here. Focus on me. Only me." While the ground shook around them. While screeches from the enemy closed in, almost drowned out the calming grumble of the bioengineer.
He snarls as something pings off his helm bringing him back to the hanger. His lip curls back enough to show a shiny fang. One of the little fraggers shot him with a... should he even call that a blaster? "ENOUGH!" A voice demanding respect and carries weight yells out when Deadlock lifts his left servo to grab the offending toy. Everyone pauses and falls silent. He hears a ting ping ping from his right leg. "Stop that line of thought right now Drift! Hand down!" Deadlock looks at Ratchet as Ratchet gives the plating around his knee a few good wacks with a... piece of wood that had bristles at the end. Deadlock gives an amused rumble and slowly sets his servo back down as he turns his right one slowly till it's palm up next to Ratchet. Ratchet huffs and grumbles but climbs on still wielding the mighty stick weapon. "What the hell are you doing in here you menace?"
"Ratchet~ I missed you. You are late coming to berth. For the sixth time. Iv come to escort you from work." Deadlock purrs as he lifts Ratchet slowly to his optics. He can't help but smirk at the twitching frown Ratchet gives.
"Ain't happening kid. I have a lot to do. Go back to your bed. Rest. You're still recovering." Ratchet says in his, this is not a request but an order, tone. "I don't need you here giving me more work. That's what you'll be doing if you make puddles out of any of my interns. We WILL have words if you do that by the way. Do not smash any of my workers." Ratchet growls back with no more heat then Deadlock has grown use to.
"More of a sad smoosh or splat then smash." Deadlock mumbles. He pauses as the wooden stick with bristles is waved in front of his optic, "Ah.. I mean... isn't scrapping your kind off of things the youngling's job?" That earned him a wack on his optic ridge. He gives a small grunt and closes his mouth.
"No, Firstaid doesn't handle all the dirty work Drift. Even if that was the case don't give the poor kid any more work you numbskull." Ratchet says lowly as the humans optics narrow. Deadlock watches as Ratchet swings the stick servo to servo. "Now get out of my lab or I'll make you."
Deadlock tilts his helm and raises an optic ridge. A devilish smirk spreads across his lips enough for his fangs to poke out. "Right right we're going." He rumbles while cupping a servo around Ratchet as he slowly shifts around to back out. His EM Field spreads out into a smug, pleased pulse as Ratchet yells and curses at him. He ignores the threats. No Ratchet will not take him apart from the inside out. He will go to berth to have the strength to do it in the lightcycle, if he wishes. But he won't, his squishy would never harm him. Sharp glossa, beautiful processer, and pure of spark. Deadlock vows he will protect his squishy with his whole being. "So Drift eh? Think my name will scare your subordinates? Our are we already on nicknames Doc?" He teases with not so well hidden pleaser/fondness.
OH YES THIS AKCNGNJGMGNGNGNGMGMGBDINFBMGGM
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of course 3/3
1/3
2/3
in which tommy finally admits he should maybe see a therapist.
thanks again to @mooshkat for the original concept
(tw: heart problems, hospitalization, self loathing)
~
Bobby is the next to show up.
"Hi," he says, disconcertingly tall as he stands over Tommy's bed with a small tupperware. "I figured you can't have anything we would normally bring for someone stuck here, but there's this recipe I liked after my heart attack. It's just chickpeas tossed with olive oil and a bit of curry powder."
"That's very thoughtful," Tommy says, touched and confused. He starts tucking in immediately. The food here could be worse, but he never has much appetite when he's unwell. Maybe eating something will make the nurses frown less often. They're very frowny in this unit. Makes sense, as they probably have the highest proportion of deaths in the building, but it's shit for patient morale.
Bobby's still standing, so Tommy tilts his head at the chair and continues eating.
"How are you feeling?" he asks, once Tommy has left the now half-empty container on his tray table.
"Fine? Tired, mostly." Which is probably for the best when the only change of scenery he gets is the regular trips to imaging. All the napping doesn't leave time to develop cabin fever. "You?"
"I'm good. A little concerned."
Shit. So he's just jumping right in. Tommy works on his breathing. "Oh?"
Bobby nods. "Buck is getting released in the next few hours. He'll probably be up here as soon as they hand over the discharge summary."
Tommy doesn't eye the monitors, but he has a brief fantasy about ripping the leads out and smashing everything on the ground. It's been a long time since he's felt this exposed for this long. "That's good."
Bobby puts his hands on the armrests of the chair. "Hen seems to think you don't want to see him, which is interesting since Buck is behaving like you're pretty much back together."
Keep him away. Do it so I don't have to see his face. "I- I'm-"
Bobby looks at him like he's a spooked horse. "I'm not just here for him, okay? I wanna help you get clarity on what you're actually looking for before it blows up in both your faces again."
It's such a brazen offer Tommy can't help but laugh. "You're welcome to try?"
Bobby smiles a little. "Kid's got a heart the size of Alaska, but he's like the La Brea tar pits. Once you're in, that's all she wrote. It's fine, though, great even. If that's your choice."
Tommy tilts his head, reconciling this man with the friendly, new in town captain who had a veil behind his eyes. In the last eight years, everyone at the 118 figured out how to open a vein for each other, and here's Tommy. Out, flying, and only able to meet his own eyes in the mirror half the time. "What if I'm a bomb," he asks. "Or... whatever destroys tar."
"You wanna stay that way?" Bobby presses gently.
Tommy rubs at the side of his neck. "I'd be a monster and an idiot if I said yes, wouldn't I?"
Bobby spreads his hands. "There's no relationship jail, Tommy. Doesn't matter to me if you're either or both those things. All I ask is that you keep it away from people I care about."
"No. It's-" Tommy shifts his gaze, his vision blurring. "It's not who I want to be. But it's not that easy, Bobby."
"Didn't say easy. Didn't even imply it." Bobby moves a box of tissues from the nightstand to the tray table. "You're no stranger to tackling something hard because you thought it would be worth the effort. Maybe give yourself a little credit."
There are oval-shaped bruises in a roughly circular pattern on Evan's forearm, resembling a school of fish. Those weren't there after the crash. Tommy flexes his right hand, which has been stiff and sore for no apparent reason. "I did that," he says.
"Yeah?" Evan frowns in confusion. "You were suffocating. It wasn't on purpose."
It can be an omen if Tommy lets it.
"Tommy?" Evan says.
Omens are stupid. "Hm?"
Evan fidgets with his free hand, pulling at the edge of his sling. "You said of course you love me, like it was easy. Like it was a given. People don't- haven't said it like that."
"How did they say it?"
"Like they were surprised. Like it was the last thing they could've expected."
"I knew it was a possibility the first time I kissed you," Tommy says, tired of choosing between truths.
He looks up. "You did?"
"Evan," Tommy sighs, "you're the fucking sun."
His beautiful eyes widen and get wet at the corners. "I didn't want to say it when- when you were dying in my arms. I wanted- needed to believe that I'd get another chance. But I love you, too."
Tommy is so grateful this conversation is taking place today, when he's recovered enough to not cause an international incident every time he does anything more stressful than looking at the color green. The specter of the alarm still looms, but he's done okay so far. "I might not have heard you, if you had said it then." Tommy gestures at his chest. "The wheezing, it was very loud."
"You heard some things, though? It felt like you- you were reacting."
"Yes, Evan. You kept me going."
Evan beams. Tommy aches from the inside like someone sprinkled salt in his IV bag.
"I need," he warns, "so much therapy."
Evan shifts forward in his seat, grunting softly in pain. "I can get you some recommendations."
"Of course you can." Tommy smiles.
Evan is inches away, practically falling out of the chair. "Can I touch you?"
"Do you have the slightest idea how many medications I'm on right now?"
He ducks his head and laughs. "You know that's not what I meant."
"Oh, well, show me what you m-"
Evan lays his free hand on the side of Tommy's face. He leans forward and presses their foreheads together. "I'm so proud of you," he whispers. "I asked you not to run, and you stayed."
Right after the alarm goes off, Tommy pulls away just far enough to capture Evan's mouth with his own.
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november 19 vs lightning, 3-2 OT loss
sidney's milestone yips return 🙄
this series is now on ao3! i'll be adding games in chunks from now on :)
Sanja never believes Zhenya when Zhenya says he doesn’t really get angry with Sid.
Oh, they bicker, of course—you can’t spend practically 24 hours a day with someone for nine months out of the year without small irritations flaring up. One of them will be overtired and crabby, or they’ll disagree about where to go for dinner near the end of a long roadie…stuff like that.
But major arguments, flaring tempers and angry, icy silences? They don’t do that. It’s something Zhenya’s always been smug about.
There is, of course, an exception.
Having a front-row seat to Sid’s career has been a privilege and an honor. Zhenya doesn’t regret a single decision that’s kept him at Sid’s side since 2006; even taking their relationship out of it, because it’s not like they’d break up just because they temporarily lived apart, getting to watch someone live up to the type of potential Sid has and work his way into the record books is not something Zhenya would give up willingly.
The time those records take, though.
Sid overthinks every aspect of his play when he’s getting close to some sort of milestone. He handles the puck like he’s never seen one before, passing when he should shoot and hesitating when he should pass until the lane disappears. He retreats into his routine with a rigidity that he’s mostly shed as he’s gotten older, and he gets snappy with anyone who dares to so much as hint around the concept of a milestone.
It was funny at first. And then Sid entered top-ten categories, leapfrogging over the types of players that most guys won’t come near to matching ever, and the milestones started coming faster and faster, and Sid took longer and longer to actually achieve them.
The goalless drought before 500 had been comical, and ultimately happened in the type of storybook ‘how is this real’ fashion that only Sidney Crosby is capable of and made the wait worth it. Six hundred, though?
“Next time,” Zhenya fumes, slamming the pantry shut perhaps a bit harder than he means to, “you shoot on power play, like, not pass right back to me, I’m get yelled at during break!” He brandishes the bag of trail mix at Sid before ripping it open and cramming a handful into his mouth, chewing with his mouth open just because he knows it pisses Sid off.
“Oh, fuck you,” Sid scoffs, glaring at him so hard that if Zhenya were even slightly less ticked would have him cowering and apologizing. “You passed up plenty of your own fucking chances, eh, how about you get a goal one of these games!”
Zhenya throws his hands up, scattering trail mix across the kitchen island. “I’m not hold whole team up while I pick around on ice, forget how to play hockey, like, need extra-special time for score big goal!” he practically shouts. “Everyone tries to help, like, gets you puck, sets you up, and you’re not shoot. Have to score and move on so we’re play games for real, Sidney, not think about stupid records!”
“You think I want this?” Sid hisses, sweeping some of the spilled M&Ms into his hand and throwing them into the sink so hard a few of them bounce right back out. “All I want—all I’ve ever asked for, every single time this happens, is for people to play.like.normal! I can’t focus when everyone’s watching me, I can’t see the net, I can’t get my grip right…” He tugs at his hair, a nervous habit that Zhenya used to warn would make him go bald until Zhenya’s own hairline started to recede and Sid’s stayed stubbornly put.
Zhenya opens his mouth to snap back, but Sid’s face is twisted in genuine upset, so he takes a deep breath and forces himself to calm down.
Sid needs to get out of his head. Sid needs a distraction. Zhenya’s always been good at that.
“You’re think grip is bad?” he asks, smiling beatifically at Sid when Sid looks at him suspiciously at his abrupt change in tone. “Seems fine this morning, like, tight but not too tight, you know? You’re want to go upstairs and check, practice some more? I’m tell you if it’s good.”
Sid’s expression flickers from suspicion to confusion to disgust to…intrigued. Zhenya mentally high-fives himself. Time to seal the deal.
“And then maybe,” Zhenya purrs, circling the island and crowding close to Sid, “you’re help me get it in goal, like, I need practice too, you know?”
Sid smacks at his arm, but he’s laughing as he abandons his attempt to clean up and drags Zhenya upstairs.
They forget to set an alarm and get yelled at when they skid in late to video review the next morning. Sid’s smiling again, though, and Zhenya would bag-skate himself for a full 60 minutes to make that happen.
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HI I DID A RANT ON THIS AND I'M SOOO HAPPY TO GUSH ABOUT THIS AGAIN
"just before Evbo's arrival and before the corruption of the Parkour Champion, most if not all of Parkour Civilization's culture is about progression and improving"
I also have this like interpretation of the culture of Parkour Civilization and how it changes depending on what 'Era' its in
Im making like 3 blogs dedicated to the topic, they're in my drafts but I'll summarize what I've thought so far in relation to what you talked about
(in readmore bc very big wall of text :p)
There's 3-4 Eras of Parkour Civilization. Pre-Corruption, The Era Of Stillness/Stagnation, and The Era Of Evbo
in Pre-Corruption, around the middle of it, a big part of park civ is all about progression and improvement
The ranks was made by the first Champion, the systems surrounding it were made by the Champions that followed
Parkour Civilization used to expand continously, new parkour tricks and new systems being made or discovered at least once a year
Back then, there wasn't as big of a 'rift' between the different ranks. Especially when improving started to become even bigger of a focus in the standards of society. Lotsa people used to rank up like once every other month. So its more like getting promoted in a workplace
Ranks were merely privileges and luxuries, but it never became part of anyone's identity. It was a badge to be proud of, yes, but its expected/common/idealized for one to still try to reach for more than settle
It wasn't until the Champion in season 1 that Parkour Civilization came to a full stop.
The Era of Stagnation/Stillness
New rules and systems were implemented to not only make ranking up impossible, but also completely removed and went against the highly respect concept of Progression
Just like how the Champion is settled on staying The Champion, he had to make sure everyone is under that belief too
Noobs aren't just ranked as a noob, they are a noob. Pros are are a pro, etc etc. The ranks started to also become one's genuine identity than just a rank of skill, more than ever in the history of Parkour Civilization. It convinces people to settle with the rank they are 'born' with, even if there's an option to rank up, it's always been secondary to surviving now.
Im willing to bet there used to be some kind of education system in Parkour Civilization that taught parkour and how to do it, maybe even Parkour Language, across all the levels
But that entire system was removed by the season 1 Champion because it absolutely helped people get better too good and also he doesn't want them to know what Parkour Civilization used to me and that most of it was discovered overtime by parkourers rather than having had always existed.
"Everything had always been this way" it encourages people to not change, not to get better, because nothing's ever changed! Even if its not true, they dont know its not.
uhhhh penis penis idk penis it took me 30 minutes to write all this for some reason
i forgot my point i juhst wanted to ramble
the other extra era i had was The Beginning Of Parkour Civilization, when Cookiegod created Parkour Civilization and worked with the first Champion to create the basis of the Civilization. But that's more around the territory of Parkour Religion than park civ history
I should dedicate some time to think of what Parkour Religion is like hmm hehe...
Hey thanks for doing that government analysis! Idk much abt government structure so writing around that was proving kinda difficult n your thing rlly helped
I do have a question though, if someone was planning on writing something that might poke some holes or point out flaws in the system, what do you think are some things that might be considered? And if those things were to be changed how do you think that might affect how the system works as a whole?
(ik for sure the way it works realistically doesnt particularly account for things outside of moving up, like disability, lack off skill or straight up disinterest. despite being a commune the general societal norm seems pretty individualistic, not to mention the dictator bordering on godlike despite their only requirement being "good at parkour" seems like itd be bound to cause problems; see: evil parkour champion and the glass legend, etc)
Thanks ^^
Hello tysm for the ask this message made my day! Id love to talk about this more!
My main gripe with the way Parkour Civilization government is structured is the rigid hierarchies, in a place where your skill level determines everything in life, you'd expect there be more room to grow and oppurtunities to ascend. Having the levels where everyone is surrounded by people of similar skill sets and pretty much never being able to experience what a higher skill set even looks like is just used to keep people in line with their groups and not know how to reach higher.
I think the overall idea of being divided based on merit is fine. it's the lack of intermingling or education about the other layers and how to get better that should be changed. I mean, as seen in the pro layer, people aimlessly build parkour courses to try and train for the master level, and they never quite get it.
The divided structure also easily makes room for classism, even if all layers were given the same food, materials, and housing, the fact the lower levels simply dont have access to basic knowledge about the extent of parkour (again, the thing their entire society is based off of) keeps them dumbed down, and hinders them from excelling, while the master level has access to the knowledge and practice of so much more parkour. The education difference makes an easy opening for classism and bullying to occur between layers ( which in Parkour Civilization, actually does happen as seen with how the pros treat the noobs, and how the masters even bully eachother based on how they parkour, which again is a sign of upbringing and education. )
#parkour civilization#parkciv#pkciv#parkour civilisation#park civ#pk civ#pkciv spoilers#ghoust headcanons#ghoust writing
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[Posted 7 September 2016] like a flower, shedding its petals, exposed to the virulent breeze like a flower that always dreamt of becoming a tree like a flower, uprooted, cracks in the stem like a flower wilting blooming lost in the grass buried in soil like a flower throw it away.
#poetry#a flower that dreams of being a tree#is a concept that's stayed with me for years#there was a poet called ash4love who started a piece with those words#and i've just... loved them#for a really long time#2016
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So i remember an ask mentioning your mortal enemy, Felis Atra and their cats, and i thought it'd be fun to draw what Felis Atra's version of your italian dogs would be.
I think they would be called Butter Knife and Flamengo! Butter Knife is not his real name, it's an nickname given by his peers because of how harmless he is. I choose Flamengo because that's the name of Vasco's rival football team here in Brazil, so i thought that was the perfect name :)
Cat Machete was slightly inspired by the Oriental Shorthair cat because of their long noses and thin head shape.
Cat Vasco was inspired by the Scottish Fold cat, because FLOPPY EARS. I gave Flamengo longer ears and orange fur to make him more like his look-alike.
The last doodle is a reference to this ask (https://canisalbus.tumblr.com/post/728923918314946560/me-i-am-machete-ear-fan-number-1-those-ears) and contains the tumblr ask stand-in dog, whose cat version was inspired by the American Curl cat! They have round ears that are slightly floppy outwards.
Final notes: I know cardinal clothes don't come in vibrant blue, but i was ADAMANT on switching Machete's and Vasco's clothing color patterns. I would draw the rest of Butter Knife's and Flamengo's clothes, but i suck at designing cool outfits.
Speaking of outfits, for Machete's iconic void outfit, i figured it would be fun to make it more baggy for Butter Knife, in contrast to Machete's, that looks very tight-fitted. I think it's cute, it kinda looks like a sweater. Also i can't imagine a Machete doppelganger without high heels boots, so those HAD to stay.
Oh, and just to be clear, i'm not like, claiming ownership of these guys or anything. I just thought it would be a fun exercise. Hope you like them!! I love your art and your characters.
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#imagine if Vaschete but CATS and REVERSED -> Butter knife ;_; and Flamengo <3#this ask is from last year and I'm sorry I've allowed it sit in my inbox for so long ´m`#but I've been thinking about it intermittedly#the context was that someone said that somewhere out there existed my mortal enemy (felis atra = black/dark cat)#and they had frenzied cat ocs instead of melancholic dogs#first of all they both look so darling I'm getting radiation poisoning just from looking at them aaaaaa#and the fact you put so much thought and effort into this concept is making me go absolutely rabid#extremely strange seeing Machete with big pupils and Vasco with tiny pinpoints#Butter knife purring like a fluffy jackhammer is instant serotonin I love him#and yes if you turned Machete to a cat he'd probably be something resembling an oriental shorthair#especially one of those really exaggerated ones with giant bat ears and roman nose#and I keep visualizing Vasco as a scottish fold as well but it's kind of giving me sad bad feels personally#I can't look past their painful and debilitating health issues#the same mutation that causes the floppy ears also destroys the cartilage in their joints#it's such a shame because they're a terribly cute and charming breed#and in this case they really do have those similar rounded friendly shapes that Vasco does#if I ever draw them as cats myself I'll probably have to think of some other breed for him even though it would be such a perfect fit#also I think it's funny how you can swap everything else but Machete's heels have to stay :'> don't separate the crinkle and his boots#thank you so much! this was such a cool ask to receive I love how you designed their cat forms#gift art#dingergum#Machete#Vasco#own characters#Vaschete scenarios
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at that place we sat together today again, I'll go to where you're going
#will parry#lyra silvertongue#pantalaimon#kirjava#his dark materials#hdm fanart#doodles and miscellania#scraping in a little late (by my time) but happy bench day <3#only a small midsummer offering this year......unfortunately work has been keeping me low on art energy ;(#these are based on some sketches i did yeeeaars ago for funsies and have always considered polishing but never got around to#there is no real concept it is just vibes. hanging out with each other's daemons/humans :)#anyway!! if you're reading this i hope you have been well#stay safe and cool/warm/dry/wet(?) wherever you are in the world 💛💛💛#i'm gonna go to bed and stop freezing my butt off at my desk 🏃♂️
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#marshall d. teach#blackbeard#blackbeard pirates#one piece#whitebeard pirates#my art#so sometimes i think about how teach stayed on WB ship for close to 30 years#now i know he was fighting and doing his part but still he never tried particularly hard and he was basically living under his dads roof#for his entire adult life#and would have continued to do so if not for the yami yami no mi#anyway after talking with a friend it got me thinking about him as a neet so there#really loose concept and this is just me procrastinating but kind of funny i thought#neet au#about marco since someone mentioned. since he was ship dr and 1st commaner i wouldnt consider him a neet#marco had a lot of responsibilities while teach was just a regular member#so marco would be the more mature and successful older bro#anyway with this i finally drew bb with tired eye bags#like this man doesnt sleep. he should look tired as hell#i feel like im going crazy#i want to draw highschool luffy and discord mod teach having a brawl on the street
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Everybody give it up for more cleaned up sketches!! This time it's characters that I have simply been thinking about recently that are not the main gang, yes I did get distracted while cleaning up my Shaphne sketches, yes this is the result now I must return to the caves to finish them.
#my art#scooby doo#scooby doo fanart#Asamad Van Ghoul#scooby doo and the curse of the 13th ghost#the 13 ghosts of scooby doo#deputy dusty#yabba doo#scrappy and yabba doo#googie#scooby doo and the reluctant werewolf#red herring#a pup named scooby doo#I fear my element is either cute girls or older men there is no inbetween tbh#Asamad van ghoul is the only canon thing I took away from the curse movie tbh I like him and the concept of him he can stay#contantly thinking about how they tried something with dusty and yabba and then decided to never mention them again sick and twisted#they would be so good for a DTDVD movie guest star spot tbh like in my head the western vibe would go CRAZY hard#and I miss Googie like she's so cute and her colour scheme scratches my brain but her only movie is about CARS!! it's so sick and twisted#she should be at the club!!!#and red herring comeback would also be fun like would adult Fred and adult Red Herring still have a rivalry years later?? much to discuss#I feel like it has a good comedy premise tbh#I'm just yapping here I'm so sorry#Next order of business is to finish me shaphne sketches I got distracted whoops
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the way that diff languages sound r so fascinating they're all different and all so vivid
#russian is like the surface of a feather like it's light but not exactly “soft” but still very delicate#german is . cute ? i think it's adorable . it has a lot of momentum it makes u wanna talk fast and talk a lot#like it's squishy . sleek surface w a soft inside#thai is like song . it's like interprative dance or maybe a trust-fall . everything follows from the previous thing#it feels like a little fairy flying up and letting itself fall and flying up again and so on (for fun). its so beautiful but also playful#mandarin chinese is like . idk why but it gives me the same vibe the concept of Observation does . like to read and to see and absorb#and then to translate that into smth else . like . imagine a poet people watching or an artist preparing a canvas w practiced hands. thats#the vibe. soft and elegant and musical but like...in a way that feels lived-in. arabic feels wise ? like music or poetry u read#and feel nothing about then years later u stumble on and it applies to everything in ur life. that kind of vibe. like it knows more than u#and itll make sure ur heart and soul grows as big as its lexicon . polish is like snowflakes falling . it has the feeling of complexity and#elegance but it's also so so light and slippery and...maybe not elusive but the feeling of losing a dance partner in a waltz ? like fun and#light but also an underlying elegance and somberness still . turkish is like the feeling when u get a text from ur crush#and your heart tightens and you cant tell if it's really painful or really amazing . it feels like unrequited love . or a caress#or making out with someone when you know its the last time you'll see them. its beautiful in a yearning longing way#korean is like joking around w ur friends and you've stayed up until like almost 5 AM and youre so delirious that everything is funny#and ur speaking kind of lightly and openly and everything you say holds a lot of weight and doesnt matter at all. you laugh at everything#and youre practically talking in inside jokes and watching the sunrise together . one of them hits u on the shoulder lovingly. ur by a fire#yoruba feels like the metatheory of the matatheory . abstraction until it circles back to intuition or maybe#it feels like plotting the route of a comet or maybe like the soft warm whirr of statistics. trying to verbalise beauty somehow#when you know the best thing you can show it is by telling everyone just look!! look at the sky just look!#anyway yh i think i could do this for every language ever tbh
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if only elenwen knew that in another universe her male counterpart shows signs of aging
#my art#genderbent elituli is a nauseating concept seriously . watch the appeal dissapear#i think tullius would stay the same in terms of personality with a little tweaking but elly wud be like#deceitfully and overly polite; gentleman-ly#the stone faced apathetic personality i spent a year perfecting on her would be soooo unattractive on a man LMAO#when it's related to her#he looks like he owns a steak rastaurant or a casino#elituli only works in their origin and as lezzys#genderbent elituli and m/m elituli is disgusting LOL#like soup with no salt in it#also it upsets me cus the ulfr*c x elenwen yaoi would be plenty if she was a man#Traitors
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I am the odd one out for really liking Valentine's Day as an aromantic person but it's not about the day specifically. I just really like red and hearts and dressing up weird. It's like Halloween 2 to me. It never really clicked into my mind as having anything to do with romance as a kid it was just fundip and red things day to me. I love red things.
#funny talking tag#Like I do hate the societal expectations that come with it but the allure of heart shaped decorations...#That shit stays up all year round.#I never realized people were actually serious about being upset about being single#Until recently I guess. Yet it is still a distant concept to me.
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i hope this doesn't sound like a silly or weird thing to send you, but i'm autistic and have long thought of nico and a handful of other riordanverse characters as autistic and i love your posts about why nico in particular seems intentionally autistic-coded. but i've been thinking, if rick did intend for any of his characters to be autistic, why wouldn't he say so outside of the text at least? i can't think of a good reason why not, when he goes out of his way to be explicit about so many other characters' various marginalized identities and has confirmed things like reyna being asexual outside of the original text. so it gives me this nagging sort of doubt that maybe rick just made nico come off as so extremely autistic coded by accident, somehow. if it wasn't an accident i do kind of wish he'd say so because there's next to zero explicitly stated autistic representation in, like, any media so it'd be nice to have here even if not strictly necessary. either way though, like i said, i love your posts and i agree with you 100% about autistic nico! some others i like to think are autistic are annabeth and leo.
(Most of this is gonna be kind of a tangential ramble to your point and i apologize in advance just bear with me)
This actually touches upon something I've been meaning to do a write-up on recently, which is: depending on the coding, that is our explicit statement. In most coding, actually, that's kind of the point. (Also something something Death of the Author.)
You may have noticed a recent trend across media of characters saying things directly rather than expressing them in a natural way, and often this includes incredibly stilted dialogue of characters explaining things in very politically correct, wikipedia-esque descriptions and terminology that make absolutely no sense for the characters' personalities or mannerisms. This is born out of the idea that if something is not stated in explicit terms, no amount of evidence below an outright direct exact statement will ever count - if two characters of the same gender have an explicit kiss and wedding on-screen, it doesn't matter because they never said the word "gay," etc etc.
In PJO, prior to more recent books, we get plenty of examples of characters explaining parts of their identities without direct statements. Percy never needs to say in outright terms that he has PTSD from Gabe - and it doesn't make sense that he would! He's 12! He's never been diagnosed for that. He probably doesn't even know what PTSD is really. But we, the audience, know without a doubt he has PTSD, because it is clearly expressed to us. That is coding. Tyson is coded as having down syndrome. Nico is coded as being autistic. It doesn't make sense for Nico to turn to the camera and explain that he's autistic and what that means, because he definitely never got diagnosed for it and probably doesn't know what that means cause the diagnosis literally did not exist when he was growing up - and heck, autism terminology was still kind of getting sorted out back in 2007 when TTC was published, so it's unlikely we could have feasibly gotten any exact terminology wink-wink-nudge-nudges short of something like how Percy outright mentions other students called Tyson the r-slur in Sea of Monsters. And in fact we see that same exact style of coding with Nico later on in the series. Nico never turns to the camera and says word-for-word "I am gay, I am mlm, here's me wearing my exact pride flags" (until TOA/TSATS, which... did the exact thing i mentioned about characters speaking like theyre trying to get a good grade in therapy, or giving a powerpoint presentation). But it is never unclear that HoO is telling us outright that Nico is gay. It's not just hinted at. It's there, in your face. But entirely because no one ever outright says "gay" specifically it's technically still only coding. We know he's gay, we know the characters have trauma/ptsd, etc etc. We don't need it spelled out - that's just kind of condescending. It's like if you said describing a character with "eyes like moss" means they were "green-eye coded."
Nico being autistic-coded isn't hidden. It's not a secret. It's very overt. If you know what autism looks like, well, yeah, there he is. Even if you only know very vague 2007 media presentation of autism, Nico in TTC is easily recognizable enough as autistic because that's the point. Tyson is easily recognizable as being coded as having down syndrome and it's very clearly very intentional! It's just never spoon-fed in exact terms to the reader because it's not necessary! You've already been told the information necessary to tell you what is up with this character, so just plainly going "oh they're [x] in exact terms" is very much telling-not-showing and feels redundant. And while there are places for that kind of thing, most of the time it's very unnecessary. Sometimes coding is subtle, sometimes it's obvious, and yeah there are times where writers code characters unintentionally, but the textual evidence is there, and that's the whole point.
And that's what Death of the Author is about - it doesn't matter what the author intended at the end of the day, because if it's in the text it's in the text. You can look at author intent to try and figure out what that text means, but the text is the text. A Separate Peace is a very classic example - author John Knowles denies there being homosexual subtext, and meanwhile one of the protagonists living in 1942 puts on a pink shirt while saying he doesn't mind of people think of him as gay. What the author says after the fact doesn't matter - if it's there, it's there. So Rick saying anything outside of the books is completely irrelevant. And Rick talks about this a lot - he actively tells people that his statements outside of the books are just his own thoughts, but what's in the books is what's in the books, and if the text supports it then that's all the evidence you need.
Nico specifically is a case where yeah, he's clearly autistic-coded. It's very obvious and very obviously intentional when he's younger, and as the books progress it remains a background trait of his but is still notable (except for when it gets forgotten in TOA/TSATS like everything else, including the adhd/dyslexia, but i digress). It's a clear pattern within the first few books that Rick is intentionally including. It doesn't make sense, especially for the year the book was published, for the reader to be directly told in explicit terminology that Nico is autistic, because the reader is already being told that Nico is autistic.
And yeah, Rick doesn't mention Nico being autistic-coded outside of the text, but he also doesn't mention Tyson being coded as having down syndrome. He also said one time that Percy doesn't have PTSD at all, which is very incorrect starting from book 1. Again, Death of the Author. Whatever Rick says outside of the books does not matter, because he already said it in the books. And there's plenty of other stuff in the books that Rick doesn't touch upon, particularly relating to character identity - did you know Leo is Native? Sammy mentions that the Valdez family is Native in Son of Neptune but we don't get any specifics and then it's like never brought up again anywhere. That happens all the time in the series - and outside of the series - Rick can't possibly address every single point to confirm/deny everything from the books. That's what analysis is for! And that's why my blog exists 👍
#pjo#riordanverse#nico di angelo#autistic nico#analysis#ask#Anonymous#long post //#tone indicator just to be sure cause i know i used a lot of italics: this is all non-agressive/not mad i prommy#im just very passionate about this topic (coding & fandom concepts surrounding ''canon'' + death of the author)#also controversial opinion cause i know some people have talked about wanting the use of the r-slur in SoM censored#but i think it should stay because. well. yeah no that was still very commonly used in 2006#trust me i heard it a lot. i was there. in fact it was commonly used after that point. for awhile.#it wasnt until like a bit into the 2010s iirc that campaigns started to go ''hey maybe. dont use that word.''#like that was RECENT#and yeah! these books are not old! TLT is only just coming up on 20 years. thats not super old for a book!#and yeah! that term was considered a-okay terminology to be used in a middle grade book in 2006! which is startling to think now!#but that's also why it's important to not erase that#because otherwise you forget that up until very recently that word was considered Perfectly Acceptable#and in SoM it's even specifically acknowledged to be used in a hurtful way! Percy is actively condemning it!#like. dont put it in the show or whatever. obviously. replace it with a different indication/coding to explain Tyson's struggles#not that i think Disney would put the r-slur in their show. but like. dont erase it from the book??? from 2006??????#i am frightened to see how the show will handle tyson though. its not gonna go well i can feel it in my bones#anyways man i should post that excerpt from A Separate Peace though#just cause that scene has lived in my brain rent-free for years
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I said once and I'll say it again, I don't really think late season merlin is a villain, but I do think season 1 and pre canon merlin would think his future self is a villain
agreed, anon, s1 merlin would be horrified at the decision and choices he made by s4-5
but yeah merlin isn’t a “villain” by s5. he falls into more of a gray area in my opinion. like, he is still a hero to me but just with a narrower view on his priorities and 10 years of dealing with your classic episodic enemies who want to kill Arthur
#i dont really get the ‘Merlin is a villain by s5’ discourse#like yeah he’s changed from the happy silly goofy guy from s1#but he still a silly goofy guy#more traumatized yes and less patient with opponents#but he’s still merlin#it’s like the ‘despite everything it’s still you’ and we see that when he creates a butterfly in the cave#idk he never felt villainous to me??? vengeful maybe i can allow#but not villainous#but i think that’s why Villain!Merlin is an interesting concept because despite the ten years of strife#and watching ppl he love die and choosing Arthur over magic#the idea of ‘what if he finally snapped? what if Merlin let loose more than he has’ is a fascinating one#bc Merlin is CRAZY powerful#he is Emrys and magic itself#he lives and breathes it so what if he finally lost all his personal morals and principles and let it go?#it’s not canon obvi but it is a popular au for a reason because there many moments the fandom ponders ‘why did you stay?’#and ‘what would be the final straw that caused you to break it all?’#or at least#that’s how i see those AUs as lol#still fascinating#bbc merlin#asks#merlin emrys
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still chipping away at that pjsk major arcana
#proseka tarot#<- so i can find them because god knows this will take a bajillion years#project sekai#pjsk#prsk#emu otori#honami mochizuki#tarot#IGNORE the way the ferris wheel looks like i know. fucking trust me i know#i realized i colored over all of the lines indicating that honami is sitting on drums and that those are eye things are alsoncymbals. oops.#i have composition ideas for most of the cards now and sketches for all of leoneed and wxs.. my bias shines through#but i hate figuring out values. always. sorry.#actually i have a weirdly clean sketch for kanade and i like the concept of it for her card but somethin about it lookd off to me#like it's boring or the anatomy is wrong or something. maybe if i drew it in with more perspective like i did with honamis#sniffle. anyways thank u revsta relive arcana arcadia for hope charity and faith card ideas and infortmwtion because jesus its hard 2 find#ANYTHING on those 3 cards from the visconti deck. willvisit the library so i can draw gacha game tarot mockups with lore accuracy. gn.#staying up to draw is not noble. take the melatonin.#pry this stupid shade of dark pinkish red out of my cold dead hands btw
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There's always a danger of caring too much about a story, and then getting paralyzed by the need to do it justice, so it never gets written.
I've solved this problem in the past by writing stories so fast that I don't have time to get too invested, or writing stories that I'm not that attached to.
But maybe the trick is to love the story so much that I want to share it any way I can, even if it's imperfect. To feel that any version of this story is better than the story never getting written at all. To get out of my own way and stop worrying about what other people will think of my writing, or even what I think of my writing, and love the story for its own sake, love the readers enough to want to have the joy of sharing the story with them.
Maybe it'll work. Maybe it won't. But so far it feels like a much better approach.
#adventures in writing#i think inklings has finally born fruit for me#other years i've stayed far away from beloved story concepts#for just this reason#and then i mentally shelved most of those story concepts#recognizing i'd likely never write them in a way that lives up to my imagination#and that probably gave me the distance i needed to pick some of them up again#for one thing the short time frame of inklings forces me to get down to the heart of the concept to fit it into a short story#and the long development time means i've had time to figure out what the core of the concept *is*#what keeps this story lingering in my imagination; which means i know what the good parts are#and then the deadline also forces me to try to write it fast and short#because if i don't write it for inklings i likely never will#and that's a tragedy i want to avoid#having such a clear concept of the story's core#means i can put up with ugly haphazard drafts#because i know what the overall story feels like; i've had years to develop it#so instead of a bad draft proving a story's not worth writing#i *know* that the story's worth writing because it's stuck with me this long#so the ugly drafts are just the building blocks necessary to create the final product#of course the danger is that i'll put out a story and it won't be as cool outside my head#and people will hate this piece of my soul i've poured out to them#but if i love it enough maybe it'll reach that special status#where it means so much to me personally that the wider audience reaction doesn't matter#but before i worry about this i gotta write a draft first
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