#invalidate that
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Okay, I am so completely baffled that there are people that pretend Kim doesn't have a soft underbelly that I have to respond to your tags. (If I'm completely out of line by doing so, just delete this and pretend I never sent it.) Okay, here goes. *commence rant* Ignoring Kim's softness is ignoring half his personality and the duality that makes him so interesting. The fact that the same hands that can take out eight men without flinching can then turn around and comfort his devastated older brother even while knowing (probably) that his brother is devastated for no good reason is what makes him such a good character to sink your teeth into. Also also, and this is getting more into my own personal headcanons, ignoring that side of him removes most of the nuance in his relationship with Kinn.
All of this to say that I personally adore the way you think about and write Kim and people need to relearn how to just keep scrolling when they see a take they don't like, especially about a character with as much room to play as Kim. *end rant*
This always feels like a hard thing to talk about without stepping on toes because when i've made posts in the past, even jokingly, about kim being a soft weirdo with chay or getting panicky in the face of real emotions, and especially with my sub or bottom kim posts, i've made some people who are strictly "dark kim" enjoyers really upset. and i'm not trying to like, invalidate any one else's take on his character, and like! this is fandom! whatever! if people want to write dark kim or dark chay or dark anyone, that's great! they have every right to!
it just become a problem when people get superiority complexes about their interpretations, i think.
like, i know my interpretations and stories aren't perfect and never will be, and i know that some people will interpret things in canon vastly different from how i do, and that's fine. the great thing about fandom is that there's space for every person and every interpretation here (or there should be).
but. i completely agree with you. my favorite thing about kim, and my favorite thing to explore with his character, is the nuance, and the unspoken things. like i said in my tags: that smile when chay hugged him, which was the most genuine smile we see from him in the whole show. or the scene with his brother's when korn "dies" and he looks like such a kid when he looks up at chan and when he comforts khun, and then the scene in the studio when chay sings "this song is called you" and kim looks absolutely devastated before getting up and leaving. it's like, there's so much softness and childishness and uncertainty there in his character on screen even if it's only shown in dialogue-less shots.
i love analyzing these things, i love writing about these things, i love the dichotomy of this character who can kill so ruthlessly and then still approach love and romance with the innocence and uncertainty of a lonely kid who's barely an adult.
this is getting long winded but, yeah.
thank you for the ask and im really really happy you enjoy my interpretations and fics so much.
#benji talks#asks#i really support everyone who writes kim however they want to#so i don't want to like#invalidate that#because that would be incredibly hypocritical since my whole post was about being hurt by people invalidating MY interpretation#lmao#idk how to articulate myself#hopefully this is... neutral enough?
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well 🧍♀️ as a reminder this blog is NOT a safe space for trump supporters but it IS a safe place for women, queers, trans ppl, people of color, undocumented people, and any marginalized group.
#if youre feeling upset or disillusioned i am right there with you#but now more than ever#i want to remind you of the importance of community#check in on your friends#advocate for your friends#protect your friends#protect your community and who you love and care about#and we will get through this#my dms and inbox are always open#even if you just want to vent#im also so sad right now but we have to be strong and stick together right now#(also if youre not american pls understand this affects us all and to not invalidate the feelings of americans)
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"i hate microlabels" yeah i also kind of dislike the idea of putting ourselves and our identities into very specific boxes, i think it can be really isolating- ohh wait you mean you think they're invalid. ohh no that's not the way to look at it. killing you
#IF there is an issue w micolabels/identities it's with the isolation that comes w that level of individualism but also like. there's#nuance there and if you think someones identity is invalid bc you don't understand or agree with it im killing you#there are many things i don't understand but agree with the concept of! being cishet for example
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the tradwife movement is the same as it has always been - back in the kitchen, back to breeding - it just has better branding.
when i was younger, i hated pink. i was not like other girls. this is now something i'm embarrassed of - this was not me being a "girl's girl."
but it was expressing something many of us felt at the time: i literally wasn't what girlhood was supposed to be. this is a hard thing to explain, but you know when you're not performing girlhood correctly. it isn't as easy as "i liked x when girls liked y" - because there were other girls that liked x, too - but i never figured out exactly the correct way to like x, or to be interested in y.
now there is the divine feminine. this is the same rhetoric it has always been: women are biologically driven to like pink and ribbons and submitting to our husbands.
the problem is that the patriarchy found a better PR team. because yes, actually, i want every woman to have the choice to be a homemaker. i also want her taken seriously for her legitimate home-making labor. i want her to be recognized as also having a job, just unpaid. i want men to have this opportunity, too.
but it is no longer "i made this choice and I love it." instead it is a sixteen-paragraph rant about how selfish it is that my generation isn't having kids. instead it's long videos about how if you feed your children processed foods, you're going to kill them. instead it is "this is what womanhood is supposed to be. i feel bad for any other choices you're making."
the shame spiral is just prettier. it is large houses devoid of personality. it is the implication: if you don't have this, you aren't happy. the solid, everlasting assurance: women are actually supposed to be submitting. this is the default. this is the natural state of things. all other attempts inflict suffering.
but you can no longer say i'm not like other girls. you can no longer reject this image completely. you cannot find it revolting, even if you know that the underbelly is toxic and festering. sure, it is the same repackaged patriarchy. but the internet does not have shades of grey. you should support and reward other women! your disgust is actually internalized misogyny. not because you are seeing a vision of yourself the way they're trying to train you to be. not because you feel her ghost pass within an inch of your earlobe. not because your father will eventually ask you - why can't you be like her?
because they figured out how to make it beautiful: women will sell other women on this idea, and we will find the singular loophole in feminism. sure, she's shaming you in most of her videos. sure, she implies that a different life is obscene. but she just wants you to be happy! you'd be happier if you were listening!
and the whole time you're sitting there thinking: i'd actually just be happier if i had that kind of money.
#spilled ink#writeblr#warm up#this is an incredibly difficult idea to express#but i basically keep watching the same timelooped interaction:#someone makes tradwife content where she's like ''i think it's SO sad when ppl don't have kids EW''#and then the response is ''... go fuck yourself? i think ur life is miserable and bad ?"#and instead of being like ''oh we are all under capitalism huh''#the response is like ''you CANT say that. she made a CHOICE. she is ALLOWED to have KIDS and be HAPPY#unlike YOU who is UNHAPPY bc you don't have KIDS.''#like .... these are people who will throw the first stone. and then when you lob one back#they ask why you're so violent. they tell you that you're a bad activist.#and you're like. PARDON????? you implied being a woman meant i need to submit to my husband???#and they're like - well it's just my belief. so what if i'm invalidating your entire identity.
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"How many genders are there" legitimately I think there are as many genders as there are people on earth, you can be a boy but is your version of boy 100% identical to any other boy?
#transgender#nonbinary#this isnt to invalidate anyone dont twist it#i just think that each persons experience with gender is completely and totally unique
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"Shhh Link... I'm right here. We're home. It's okay... "
♥ Hurt & Comfort time ♥
Post-Totk Link is still plagued with nightmares of the Light Dragon, Gloom Hands, Phantom Ganon...Puppet Zelda...loneliness.
He wakes up at night screaming, hyperventilating, sobbing. But Zelda is there and she comforts him with love, kindness and patience! Like Link did for her Post-Botw.
It's gonna take time...but Link is gonna be fine ♥ Zelda too.
They are all gonna be fine and live happily ever after!!!
And Hateno domestic fluff resumes.
Gotta love when Zelda comforts her knight
#my art#zelink#legend of zelda#zelda fanart#tears of the kingdom#breath of the wild#loz fanart#zelda#botw#princess zelda#botw link#hurt/comfort#totk link#link needs a hug#hateno house#hateno village#he loves her so much#the power of love#Link is so freakin PTSD#Zelda has trauma too but without invaliding it#I think Link is waaaaay more of a mess than her#Link took care of Zelda Post-BoTW#Zelda takes care of Link post TotK#I have a crush on both of them#sheik fangirl#its her tunic now
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There's so much wrong with "everyone is a little bit autistic"
Yes, allistic people might know a lot of facts about the things they like. Yes, allistic people might get a bit overwhelmed or underwhelmed sometimes. Yes, allistic people might not get an expression sometimes, mostly if it's the first time they hear it.
That doesn't make them autistic.
Those traits only make someone autistic when they become disabling. Because, big shock, autism is a disability. Yeah, even if someone is low support needs, because that doesn't mean they don't need any support at all.
Saying "everyone is a little bit autistic" is like saying "everyone struggles with this, so suck it up, you have no right to need help". Which is just pure ableist bullshit. It denies the fact that autistic people have higher support needs than NTs, no matter where in the autistic spectrum they are. We're not "neurospicy", we're disabled, and denying this fact is denying us the right to get the help we need, we deserve, to have a good life.
(yes, this rant is just because I made the awful decision of listening to "neurospicy (interlude)" by Jax. honestly I'd rather be called a slur than listen to that shit again.)
#for this disability pride month burn an ableist person's house#that's what makes you a true disability ally trust#btw with nts i mean mostly abled nts but i didnt know how to word it ;w;#and before anyone says anything im just fine with people calling themselves neurospicy#what i have a problem with is when NTs use it as a way to invalidate neurodivergent people's struggles#or to infantilise nds#or both#autism#actually autistic#neurodivergent#neurodiversity#neurodiverse stuff#autistic#neurodivergency#autistic experiences#autistic things#actually autism#ableism#ableist language cw#tw ableist language#tw ableism#neurospicy (interlude)#disabled pride month#disability pride month#wrath month#(<-just tagging that bc it's accurate since im currently pretty pissed off)
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Examples of invalidation through emotional abuse
When people order you to feel differently
“You need to get over it.”
Telling you how you should feel
“You really shouldn’t let this bother you” “You should feel thankful that…”
When people minimize your feelings
“It’s not that bad.” “You’re being over dramatic”.
Attempting to use “logic” to invalidate you
“Let’s stick with the facts” “There’s no reason to be upset…”
Passing judgement and putting labels on you
“You’re too sensitive.”
Making it your problem/isolating you
“No one else feels this way” “It’s not bothering anyone but you”
Trying to make you feel guilty
“I was only trying to help you…” “You’re bringing everyone else down with your feelings”
None of these things are okay. And while the person saying/doing these things may not intend to be emotionally abusive, that doesn’t change the effects these words have.
Your feelings are valid. Even if they don’t “make sense”. You deserve the space to feel them. While you should be mindful of how you handle them, you aren’t wrong for having them.
And also… please try not to be one of the people saying these things to you. You don’t deserve to hear them from yourself either.
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If you ever needed to know the extent of how the I/P conflict is fandomized, there is a popular post going around with a Sailor moon sticker saying Free Palestine and all the comments are talking about how it's their aesthetic and they totally need to buy it
Because this doesn't matter to them, it's just the cool hip and trendy thing
#and here i thought i could just return to talking about magical girls when WanPre comes out#seems not#seems no matter what goyim can freely talk about fandoms and make my life a fandom#while i need to defend my existence and feel if I talk about anything else I'll be invalidated#fuck goyim. my trust has been broken. I'm never returning to fandom again#mango rambles#personal fruits#jumblr#ישראבלר#ישראל
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So I never really questioned Kabru and Mithrun's dynamic given what's coming up, but that episode really emphasized some stuff to me. We know already that long-lived races, particularly elves, have a tendency to dismiss the other groups as being childlike. But the sheer infantilization that everyone, and specifically Kabru, have to deal with in that episode really hammers it home.
When Kabru mentions his adoption, pretty much all of the Canaries start immediately treating him like a toddler. And we know from flashbacks in the manga that he received pretty much the same treatment from his adopter - I wouldn't say he was quite treated like a favored pet, but it's much closer to that than any kind of healthy relationship dynamic.
So when Mithrun stands up, gets in his face, looks him eye-to-eye and says: "You're plotting something. I'm going to find out what.", that? That is the first time in this scene - maybe in his life - that an elf takes Kabru seriously. Mithrun has his own thing going on, but regardless of his reasoning, he addresses Kabru as a person and an adult. As someone with complex motivations who could potentially trip him up. I don't doubt Kabru has in the past used that infantilization to his advantage, but it's blatantly obvious that he doesn't enjoy it. Who would? So Mithrun starting their relationship by treating Kabru as a peer explains a lot about their dynamic down the line, in my opinion.
Kabru doesn't have to prove his humanity, his personhood, his adulthood to this man, one of a group infamous for how they treat younger species. It must feel like one hell of a paradigm shift.
EDIT: I've seen it pointed out on this post and others that Kabru also shows Mithrun understanding and decency and sees him in a way that others haven't been and I think that's a very important parallel and good point.
#dungeon meshi spoilers#i suggest blacklisting that tag if you aren't caught up#minor spoilers for following the latest ep too#dungeon meshi#elk text#kabru#captain mithrun#mithrun#yes mithrun has his reasons for acting the way he does#but that doesn't like... invalidate the fact that he DID act the way he does#and honestly given his backstory him treating others like equals no matter how intentionally is kind of a big deal
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hawkeye & trapper's four (4) goodbyes
#mash#m*a*s*h#mashedit#hawkeye pierce#trapper mcintyre#piercintyre#hawktrap#///#i honestly just never wanna see another 'he didn't leave a note' take. invalid argument goodbye#also we do NOT talk about how hawk only laments trapper's leaving until radar bestows the kiss and then he's like .#actually i need to chase him down. let's go. and we should talk about that#'no note? no nothing?' *smooch* gotta go bye#hawk x trap#mine#m:mash#!
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based on the Billstill au by @jellynut! You guys should totally go check it out, it's so cool and angsty and somehow my monkey brain took that idea and made it Stan tormenting Bill forevermore. (This has spiraled rapidly not its own au of an au based on an earlier idea I had once) (might draw more of this au and that one who knows)
This has been going on for at least 15 hours straight, and Stan is having the time of his goddamn life watching Bill suffer
And then Bill gave Stan horrendous night terrors
And then Stan bought a giant bag of nachos and ground them up into crumbs and dumped them in the sea or some shit
Transcript and full image under cut
Bill, floating intangibly: You're a loser, Mac
Stan, looking up from his magazine: Yeah? And you're an interdimensional demon dumb enough to die in my head. You're the biggest idiot I know, and I know me
#They're so funny to me#Bill is trying so hard to break Stan and yeah the nightmares suck and stan is definitely scarred for life#But for the most part... to me at least#The Bill still au is about Stan repeatedly wrecking Bill's shit and tormenting him and having the time of his life#Bill is the real captive audience actually#They're stuck with Each Other <3 and they hate each other and it's so funny guys trust#Headcanon that Bills insults wouldn't work on stan and would actually improve his self esteem#Because Bill can't day anything Stan hasn't said about himself#And hearing this massive loser call him pathetic has to be so funny and also invalidate the negative self outlook#Like hell is he gonna agree with BILL of all people#Ford is extremely confused about Stan's sudden Nacho buying spree but then sees Stan throw them in the Sea while shouting profanities#Ofc he joins in#stanley pines#bill cipher#billstillau#I have too many thoughts about this sorry guys 😭😭#gravity falls#gravity falls au#sea grunks#stan pines#my art
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honestly just in general it's very exhausting to try to analyze media that is literally meant to be analyzed, only for the replies to be filled with people arguing not against your analysis, but against the premise that the media can be analyzed at all.
i don't even know what to say about it without starting to really betray my frustration, so i'll just settle with— just don't engage with analysis posts? I'm serious. if you're typing a response to a media analysis post, reread what you've written and ask yourself "is this comment/response against the very concept of analyzing the media at all?" and if the answer is yes then delete it all and go sit in the shame corner. throw your curtains away if you want to so bad and stop telling me that I'm not allowed to hum and haw at the fact mine are blue
#ml fandom salt#I suppose#and no amount of adding ''stop telling me to not analyze the media'' on my analysis posts stops people from saying it anyway#and yes. the leaks count. stop telling me that the existence of outdated leaks invalidates all analyses of the completed material#and no. just like every other time i've said this. me saying that i don't care about the leaks is not an invitation for you to try to#convince me to care about the leaks#do i tag this spoilers? it feels weird to. i mean this to be a vague overarching thing about media in general#also of course any ''or maybe the writers are just bad'' arguments ALSO are included in this. YOU guys have been my bane since FOREVER#would you guys consider commenting on fanart with ''umm.... drawing seems pretty pointless lmao'' rude?#i know this is not the first time i've made a post like this and i'm sure it won't be the last
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One of the things that pisses me off about MWIII and the lead up to it so bad is that whole "Oh I wasn't in the tank" thing around Graves.
Because it takes away from my success as a player and its just dumb.
But more importantly because Activision for some reason decided to play it like "Look at Soap being so dumb thinking he killed Graves, isn't he a ridiculous little man?" while Graves is given the "strong survivor" treatment by them.
Soap took out a tank.
Without dedicated gear.
He survived multiple assault teams while at it too. Not just survived, he took them out as well.
And then blew up a tank with nothing but some C4 to a point where no one in it could have survived.
Like he did that and you're telling me Graves wouldn't be fucking afraid of running into that guy again? If being in a tank can't save you from his wrath you're telling me he ever felt safe around him?
Nah. No way. We deserved to see him flinch the moment Soap enters the picture. To keep to the other side of the room. Trying his best to work with anyone but him.
Soap is unhinged and highly dangerous, or he would have waited for his chance to piss off instead of fighting that thing but he gets treated like instead of letting loose of his anger over the betrayal he was just a big dumb dumb and everyone else was in on the joke.
Like fuck man. That also means the player is seen in the same way, like you thought you just won a cool boss battle? Oh you stupid little player, that was for nothing and we're gonna take that feeling of success back. Games don't need to be gratifying, do they?
Actually that probably could be MW3s whole title.
#mw3 was such a heap of shit its still making me angry a year later#the fact that they just invalidated so much of mw2 is just part of it#but like i could rant for days and i shant#anyway I'm not going to because i just got up#soap is alive and well and he will haunt the fuckers at activision if i have any say in it#If they think I'll stop shipping they are so fucking wrong I'll just get worse about it#ghostsoap#soapghost#john soap mactavish#cod mwii#cod mw2#cod
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Sending love to all my fellow older fans. I was living on my own and working a grown up job when I landed in this fandom. One Direction was not apart of my childhood and I did not grow up with them in the same way a lot of other people did. None of that changes the devastation I feel over Liam’s death. No, a piece of my childhood did not die, but a piece of my heart sure did.
#this isn’t like putting old fans against young ones#and it’s not about invalidating anyone’s grief#but I’ve seen a lot of stuff directed at the fans who grew up with them#and that’s fine of course that’s so needed#but I just wanted to say something for those of us who weren’t kids you know?
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it's kind of baffling to me that entire sub-groups of queer folks endured a decade of being singled out and targeted for being asexual, aromantic, bisexual, pansexual, nonbinary, polyamorous, etc. and i have yet to see any substantial apologies from people who were directly responsible for causing genuine harm. i find it completely bizarre that there are so many people who want to sweep their past contributions to widespread lateral aggression toward specific queer groups under the rug like it didn't happen so they can wash their hands of it... there are people who are irreversibly traumatized because of this. there are people who took their lives because of it.
i'm wording the post like despite the fact that exclusionism targeting these groups (and more) continues to persist partly because it was a really frighteningly common trend to harass people just because they were ace, aro, bi, pan, nonbinary, poly, etc... and it's crazy to me that many of the people who were affected by this massive multi-pronged public online bullying campaign against the 'unacceptable types of queers' are the ones still receiving messages like "my url got put on an aphobe blocklist in 2016 because apparently a post i made making fun of asexuals got some teenage asexuals harassed and i still distrust asexuals to this day because of that" ...are you fucking kidding me?
we will never achieve any kind of unity as a queer community while we are insisting upon ignoring the hurt that lateral aggression has caused, and acting like the burden lies on the shoulders of the people who were harmed to forgive the people who harmed them and 'just move on', many of whom are not sorry for what they did! or they don't consider what they did to be wrong! how is that not deeply disturbing and troubling to more of you?
03/06/2024 edit: i’m putting a complete moratorium on this post because i am really sick and tired of having my point not only completely misconstrued and distorted entirely but also weaponized against transfems (particularly in replies i have decided to delete about how “ugh yes, exclusionism, and now transfems are bullying transmascs”) i find that really sickening and i’m demanding that it stop, and i can make it stop by turning off reblogs. so i have.
my objective in writing this post was never to request an apology from people who have been laterally-aggressive exclusionists in the past. i don’t think we’ll ever get more than a handful of apologies from those people, anyway. my point was that it was pretty terrifying to witness and experience a lot of lateral aggression that transferred from the real, in-person world to the deeply online spaces back into the real, in-person world in a really fucked up feedback loop and being a young queer person during this time and having that shape me, snd shape the experiences of my queer friends who have been traumatized by it.
however, it is absolutely unacceptable to me that the issue of transmisogyny is so blatantly overlooked by our entire community. for decades, transfems have experienced oppression and exclusion from transmisogyny-exempt women and queers. their exclusion from political queer liberation movements has caused many of the major schisms within our community we are still having arguments about to this day. if you want collective queer liberation, you must uplift transfems. there is no other option. you don’t get to write off all transfems just because one person who happened to be transfem was mean to you online or something.
i have answered and responded to way too many conspiracy-brained transmisogynist reactionaries to allow this post to keep fucking snowballing with people writing paragraphs in the tags about “transmisandry” or “transandrophobia.” please get your heads out of your asses.
this absolutely is the transmisogyny website, as always, and the place where all basic textual comprehension skills go to die, apparently.
#and we wonder why the fuck this site has such a massive transmisogyny problem#don't think i wasn't there when you were harassing and bullying my pan and aspec transfem friends#the way that trans people with any of these labels were excluded from being 'allowed' to call themselves queer...#literally on that basis. and had their transness ignored completely or invalidated.#i hope we're at a place now in 2024 where we can remember and accept that trauma happening online doesn't make it less traumatic#the damage that it did to so many of my friends and myself to be told over and over again we didn't count as queer#while actively being abused and beaten and harassed by queerphobes in our real day to day lives#extra especially for those of us who had to grow up rurally and/or disabled whose portal/lifeline to queer culture of any kind was online
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