#instead i can just sit in my apartment. quietly study.

[katierosefun]

you know life must be pretty busy when you're actually looking forward to finals

[satuguro]

⠀⠀ ⠀ཾ ༚ 20/20 VISION

lalala! ethan landry x okokok! reader

#SYNOPSIS— based off of see you again by tyler the creater & kali uchis; you have no gag reflex, ethan tells a sex joke, and ethan takes a leap of faith.

#CONTAINS— best friends to lovers, mutual pining, jealousy, emetophobia, fluff

#AUTHORSNOTE— i've been wanting to write fluff lately so.. here you go xx

your unofficial designated spot in the carpenter sisters' apartment was their armchair in their living room.

you had a list of reasons why; one, it meant more space. you could stretch your legs, not worry about feeling someone's feet near your legs, and you could have your own blanket. all somewhat selfish reasons, but you loved your space. two, it had the perfect angle towards the t.v. that gave you the best spot in the living room to watch it without worrying about discomfort.

which was why you would've been mildly perturbed that someone was standing between you and the t.v. the only difference was that it wasn't just someone; it was someone who rambled too often, who had no sense of personal space while also being hyper aware of it, and who was a flurry of random facts (which wouldn't help him at all, unless someone held a gun to his head and told him to name and point at every country’s capital in the world).

"i've done it," ethan announced to you, his signature toothy smile seemingly more victorious as he looked down at where you were snuggled up on the couch. his well manicured nails (he asked you to do them once, and who were you to deny your best friend?) held his laptop, the screen facing his chest.

"aren't you supposed to be studying?" you asked him with a small tilt of your head, glancing at where the rest of the group was. finals week was beating everyone up, and you could briefly see mindy and chad chugging a redbull at the same time while tara timed them, before you turned back to your best friend.

"i gave up."

"you need to study."

"you gave up, too!" ethan looked down at the huge blanket that you hogged for yourself, not even thinking twice before he was climbing in next to you.

"ow— ethan!" you groaned, feeling him step on your leg.

"'scuse me!" ethan forced himself under the blanket you were snuggled under, making you share your beloved armchair with him before he sighed contentedly. "this is comfortable! maybe i should share this seat with you more often!" he said with a bright grin, making you sigh reluctantly. "i mean if you don't want to then it's fine too!" ethan added hurriedly with wide eyes.

"i was just saying that i wouldn't mind sharing with you because usually you sit alone— which i know you prefer, you've told me so many times and i get it! i really do! but i wouldn't mind sitting with you to keep you company because i really like being with you— around you. your presence. yeah, that." ethan rambled, finishing his string of words with a sheepish smile, cheeks flaring a bit red. "i'm sorry for rambling." he added quietly.

your usually tired eyes softened at that. he had always been insecure of how much he talked, you knew that better than anyone. "i've told you before, e, i don't mind. i like listening to you," you hummed, a downturned smile on your lips. "i like your presence too. and i guess i don't mind sharing my seat with you."

ethan's cheeks flared red at your casual words. you had a way of speaking so calmly, as though all your words were chosen well. in a way, he was a bit jealous.

"you had something to tell me, yeah?" you asked him softly, bringing him back on track.

"oh, right!" ethan showed you his laptop, setting it up on your legs. it was a notion list, color coordinated and everything, with an entire list of shows and movies you remember only briefly mentioning to him. "i made this list—"

"just now? instead of studying?"

"yes! so basically, it has a section where we can rate it after we watch it, and it's all organized by what we want to watch the most and what we need to finish!" ethan scrolled down the list, practically buzzing with excitement (and the cold brew he drank earlier).

"see? i know that i have a whole essay to do but i can do it later—" ethan said, waving it off with his hand. "because i know you said you would do it but i got impatient and did it instead! and look—" he showed you the wide variety of colors for every row. "they're color coordinated! and here's how i think the rating system should go—"

you had watched ethan talk the entire time he rambled, your usually tired and indifferent eyes softening when you listened to him speak. he talked fast— too fast for some people, but you liked that about him—but the way he rambled showed how passionate he was about different topics, because ethan only rambled when he cared.

it showed how much he appreciated what he was talking about. and ever time his cadence picked up and his words became jumbled and he began interrupting himself, you could see how ethan's brown eyes would shine with excitement. you could see how he began incorporating his hands to his words, how his lips tilted up when he talked.

you were so engrossed in ethan's explanation of the movie and t.v. show list that you failed to notice your friends staring at you from the dining table.

"they are disgustingly cute," tara said with a sigh.

"and disgustingly oblivious," mindy grumbled, clicking her pen over and over. "with how smart the both of them are, i'm surprised they haven't picked up on the clues." she turned to chad, who was sulking after losing the redbull chugging competition against her. "have you asked ethan about it yet? you're our in on this, chad!"

chad groaned as mindy nudged him with her shoulder. "i did. he didn't even respond. it's crazy how he can avoid conversations, you know."

you didn't like parties. not as much as your friends did— you were usually the designated driver or the friend that was always sober enough to take care of their friends, which you didn't mind. it was the socializing part that you minded.

you socialized okay, but you often just ended up listening to other people rather than talking. listening was more your style, but you were only a little awkward when it came to talking to complete (and possibly intoxicated) strangers at parties. you stuck with your group of friends and very rarely strayed away.

but ethan was the designated sober friend this time around, so maybe that would change.

three loud knocks to your dorm room made you go and open it, coming eye to eye with ethan. "you're walking me there?" you asked with a knowing smile, making the boy nod eagerly.

"yup! chad's walking with tara and mindy's going with anika, so that leaves you and me." ethan grinned at you teasingly. "why, you're getting tired of me already?"

"no," you hummed, closing your dorm room behind you as the both of you began to walk down the hall. "you're really not drinking tonight, huh?"

"nope!" ethan replied, popping the 'p'. "after i threw up all over sam that one time we drank at the apartment, and then i threw up on you right after, i told myself that i'd hold back on it."

you wrinkled your nose at the memory. "how responsible of you."

"i know, right?" ethan said with a proud smile. "but because i threw up on you that time, i give you full permission to throw up on me this time."

"i'm not gonna be that drunk."

that was a lie.

to say that your friends were shocked to see you become a more extraverted person after drinking would be an understatement. they were used to you observing the group and contributing to conversations with sarcastic comments, dry humor, and dark jokes that are often made much too soon. so to see you take a shot with tara and squeal happily with her (true friend solidarity; she was as drunk as you were) was completely out of the ordinary.

"i'm gonna go find chad!" tara yelled over the music, making you nod happily and watch her leave. adrenaline and excitement began to thrum through your body stronger, and your first thought was to share it with your favorite person. you began to walk around, searching for ethan, before you bumped into a chest.

"oh, shit! i'm so sorry," the guy laughed, making you send him an apologetic smile.

"it's okay!" you said, taking in his black hair and his brown eyes (that only reminded you of ethan). "i'm y/n!"

the guy smiled at you, offering his hand out. "jaden!" he seemed to be as intoxicated as you were, his steps wobbling slightly as you shook his hand. "do you, uh, wanna dance?"

"hey, where's y/n?" ethan asked tara as she passed him, making her look back towards the drinks table.

"she should just be around where the drinks are.." tara's voice trailed off when her eyes landed on you not too far away. your arms were around a guy's neck— was that jaden from her philosophy lecture? —as you swayed with him to the music. you seemed to be having a good time, the alcohol making you lighthearted as you sang with whatever song was playing through the speakers. "there she is!"

when ethan saw you, his heart fell. you looked so beautiful under the multicolored lights, your hair perfectly styled and your clothes fitting you perfectly as you danced with someone who wasn't him. your smile— your genuine one, ethan noted with his chest aching, the one that made your eyes crinkle and your smile lopsided —was pointed towards someone who wasn't him.

jealousy brewed in his chest along with the heartache, ethan's jaw clenching as he stared at you and the random guy. but he didn't step in. he didn't pull you away and declare his feelings for you, because at the end of the night, you were happy. content as you danced with someone who wasn't ethan at all.

chad came up next to tara, his arm over her shoulders as he steadied her. "hey man, where's y/n?" he asked, still fairly sober than everyone as he had only taken one shot.

"she's doing fine," ethan said, his voice monotone as he continued staring at you. it was unfair how beautiful you looked while you unknowingly broke his heart with every laugh and every flirtatious smile you sent towards your dance partner.

"what?" chad looked in the direction ethan was staring, his face falling when he saw you and jaden. easily connecting the dots, he looked at ethan empathetically. "fuck. dude, i'm sorry."

"it's okay, really," ethan said with a tight lipped smile. but he couldn't keep his eyes off of you and him, the fact that you looked so happy pulling at his chest because he wanted you to be happy with him. he wanted you to look at him the way you looked at that random stranger.

and finally, as you did a twirl into jaden’s arms, you made eye contact with ethan. oblivious to the way his jaw clenched and his eyes lost the spark they usually had, you gently pulled yourself out of jaden's arms. your steps were wobbly, and you nearly crashed into ethan's chest when you finally walked up to him. ethan's arms went to steady you easily.

"ethan, i feel like throwing up," you murmured, and ethan nodded in understanding, worry taking over his jealousy.

"okay, let's get you to the bathroom, okay?" ethan said softly, pulling you close to him as he guided you to the bathroom. he knocked on the door, thankful no one responded, before he opened it for you. he locked the door behind the both of you as you made a beeline for the toilet, grabbing the side of it as you readied yourself to throw up.

but nothing came out.

“go on!” ethan encouraged you, motioning to the toilet. but instead, you looked up at him warily.

“do i have to?”

“yes?” ethan gaped at you, motioning to the toilet again. “just go ahead! nothing to fear!”

“i don’t want to.”

“c’mon, y/n, why not?” ethan whined, making you groan as you stopped yourself from throwing up yet again.

“i have emetophobia, asshole,” you muttered, gently pushing his arm. “fear of throwing up? and,” you messily pushed some of your hair away from your face. “i have no gag reflex.”

“what the hell?” ethan crinkled his nose, blushing furiously as he looked at you in shock. you were honest, sure but never this honest. “i could’ve gone my whole life without knowing that.”

“are you sure?”

“what?” ethan said quickly, eyes wider than ever as he stared at you as you snorted in amusement. “you’re kidding.”

“maybe.”

“maybe?” he swallowed thickly, shutting his eyes and pinching his nose bridge. “oh god, you definitely have to throw up now.”

“watch this.” you took two of your fingers and stuffed them all the way to the back of your throat, smiling triumphantly as you showed ethan your lack of a gag reflex.

ethan could only watch in horror and exasperation. “y/n, i didn’t need proof. i already believed you.” he took some squares of toilet paper before offering it to you.

“i told you so,” you hummed, pulling your saliva covered finger out of your mouth and wiping them on the toilet paper. there was a beat of silence before ethan coughed, his cheeks and ears still burning red.

“can i make a joke?”

“of course you can.”

“it’s a, uh,” ethan cleared his throat, avoiding your intent gaze, “sex joke.”

“even better.” you situated yourself next to the toilet, still very much feeling like you were gonna hurl at any given moment.

ethan sat next to you, clearing his throat again. “i know one way we can test your gag reflex,” he stated, almost ashamed at his own joke.

you chuckled at that, the horrible joke making a you sway a bit with laughter before the sudden motion sickness got to you. without another word, you threw up into the toilet. all thanks to ethan’s horrible sex joke.

he immediately reached over to move some of your hair. you continued retching into the toilet, his hand rubbing soothing circles on your back. "i hate drinking," you grumbled as you laid your forehead on your arm, eyes watery from throwing up. immediately as you got the words out, you threw up again.

"i know, i know.. but i know you're gonna end up drinking again," ethan teased softly, making your back heave as you managed a laugh, only for it to be interrupted by you throwing up again. "it's okay, let it all out." he couldn’t help the small laugh that escaped his lips. “i can’t believe a sex joke made you throw up.”

and you almost laughed again if you didn’t throw up even more.

the sound of the party died into the background as ethan sat next to you on the ground. your head was laying on your arm, which was on the toilet seat. you were still intoxicated, and the world was still spinning, but you could see the obvious turmoil on ethan's face. you poked his arm. "what's wrong?"

"what?" ethan said, snapping out of his daze to send you a tight lipped smile. "nothing's wrong."

"liar."

"i'm not!"

"i know you better than that, e," you murmured, half lidded eyes staring at him. you had thrown up most of your alcohol, and while you were still inebriated, you felt a lot more clear headed than earlier. “what's wrong?"

ethan looked at you, eyes flashing with hurt as he pictured you again dancing with someone else. "do you really want to know?" he asked you, and you nodded. even while drunk, you opted to listen.

"you looked beautiful when you were dancing," ethan began, managing a soft smile, "i don't think i've ever seen you like that. it's not a bad thing or a good thing, but it's a new thing, y'know?" he sighed. "you dance really well, i'm surprised you haven't told me," a genuine smile appeared on his face when he heard you laugh quietly. "and your laugh.. i swear i would listen to it over whatever horrible music is playing right now."

ethan looked at you, taking in your obviously roughed up and intoxicated form. but somehow, even with slightly messy hair and most of your make-up rubbed off and with your breath smelling only a little bit like puke, you still looked beautiful. it was enough to make someone who talked as much as him to go quiet in awe.

"but when you laughed, and when you smiled,” ethan said slowly, taking in heavy breaths with every word. fear thrummed through his body, mingling with the nervousness as he twiddled with his fingers anxiously. to continue on would be to admit everything. to admit how he felt, the thoughts he had been having about you, everything. and to admit it to you would be to risk losing a friendship and one of the most important people in his life.

“.. you weren’t smiling or laughing at me. and i hated that.”

confusion spread over your face before realization hit your eyes. “oh.” and oh, it suddenly all made sense. why ethan was so bothered, why you were so willing to listen to one person speak for forever as long as it was them, why even as you danced with another, something was off because he wasn’t ethan. he wasn’t your best friend.

“you don’t have to say anything,” ethan mumbled, completely misinterpreting your realization for rejection. his eyes watered slightly as he avoided your gaze. “it’s been going on for a while now, and i get it if you don’t feel the same! i really do, it’s just,” he sighed shakily, “i don’t want to lose you—”

“ethan—”

“i was completely willing to just shut up about how i felt as long as that meant i could still have you in my life, y/n,” ethan said, looking into your eyes earnestly. “and i thought i could keep it under wraps but i have to tell you at least once because—”

“i love you.”

“what?” ethan blinked, making you smile, your head still resting on your arm.

“i love you, ethan.”

a toothy smile spread over his face at that, his shoulders relaxing as he searched your face for any doubt. “are you— are you sure?”

“i wouldn’t say it if i wasn’t,” you murmured softly as you raised your head, making ethan laugh in relief.

“holy shit— i love you too.” ethan said, leaning forward, only for you to stop him.

“e, i might throw up on you if you kiss me.”

“do you think i care?”

[vitaminkyeom]

Hiii, I’m not sure if your requests are still open, but, if they are, could I request Vernon with a reader who’s getting their master’s (library sciences if you need a specific program 🫣) & they’re one semester away from graduation and just stressed and very tired? (It’s me, I’m reader)

PAIRING || Vernon x Female Reader

GENRES || Fluff

WARNINGS || none

WORD COUNT || 0.5k

A/N || thank you so much for requesting! i'm so sorry this took me so much time TT all the best for your degree! ik its very stressing but pls don't forget to take breaks and drink of plenty of water!

TAGLIST || ​@romeosbreastmilk @y00nzin0 @cecedrake2217 @candidupped @ashkuuuu @hanicore @alyssng @weebotakuboy @angelfeverdream @aaniag @sea-moon-star @thepoopdokyeomtouched @caramyisabitchforsvtandbts @hrts4hanniehae [if you want to be added to my taglist, fill in this form!]

[11:32]

“baby?” vernon called, as he stepped into your both’s shared apartment. but you didn’t respond to him, causing him to frown, because he could see the lights of your bedroom switched on, indicating that you were awake.

he peeped into the bedroom and was met with the sight of you sitting in front of your study table, your head lying on the table with  countless books open around you. 

vernon found himself chuckling at this, his heart squeezing a bit as he took in your appearance. he knew you had been working extra hard for the past few days, especially because you were near your graduation and you looked really pretty right now, looking calm for the first time in days. but he could also see the dark circles under your eyes, indicating the amount of stress you were under and it pained him to see you like that.

then as quietly as he could, he walked up to you and gently patted your back. “y/n? baby?”

you muttered something in your sleep and vernon stroked your cheek instead this time. “y/n? can you get up, baby? you’re going to hurt your neck if you sleep this way.”

slowly, your eyes fluttered open, staring at him in confusion as you tried taking in your surroundings. vernon had always found this habit of yours very endearing and this time was the same, a smile threatening to pull at the corner of his lips. 

“baby? how about you go lie down on the bed for some time?”

“what’s the time?” you muttered, closing your eyes again. vernon glanced at the wall clock once before answering, “it’s 6:30 in the evening-”

“what?” you shot up from your desk, hands scrambling around your books. “oh no, oh no. i slept too much. i need to-”

“baby.” vernon said, placing a firm hand on your shoulder. you paused what you were doing to glance at him, eyes still hazy due to the confusion. “you need to rest. that’s what you need.”

even before he had completed speaking you had begun shaking your head in negative, going back to your books. “no, no, no. i need to finish this assignment by today-”

“y/n.” he said again, this time gently pulling you out of your chair. to his surprise you obliged, though there was some hesitance in your face. slowly, he walked you over to the kitchen and then handed you a glass of water. “you really need some rest. you’ve been working too hard.”

quietly, you took a sip of water. “i know. but my exams are around the corner! and graduation is just a semester away. i cannot afford to slip up now, you know.”

vernon placed the now empty glass in the sink, before pulling you into a hug. “babe, you’ve been doing so well all this time, there’s no way you can slip up just by resting for a while, okay? besides, if your health gets ruined, then you have a chance of falling back.”

you buried your head into the crook of his neck and he began rubbing soft circles on your back. he felt you relax into his touch before humming, “maybe you’re right…”

“i am right. you’re definitely going to get that masters in library sciences in flying colours, babe. now did you have your lunch at least?”

you looked up to smile at him sheepishly, and vernon placed a kiss on your forehead. “shall we order from your favourite place then?”

© 𝐆𝐘𝐔-𝐄𝐅𝐅𝐄𝐂𝐓 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒

[callmeoncette]

Hobie s chubby reader

I can just imagine him going crazy for someone with a fuss

Thickums

Hobie x black!chubby!reader

There’s some implied sex but like there’s no actual smut

I love a good chubby reader idc idc!!!! And I love the arach-kids and imma always love them!!! Those are my nieces and nephews fr y’all I just got cut out the movie😔

You stood next to your boyfriend and your honorary nephews and nieces as you got chewed out about something during a mission. You couldn’t care less about whatever Miguel was shouting about. You were burning up and your Spidey suit only made it feel worse. Like a wearable sauna.

Your mask was off and you started to fan yourself with your hand sighing loudly. Miguel cut his eyes at you making you return the attitude. He relented and pinched the bridge of his nose knowing he didn’t have the energy to argue with you, “dismissed…” he grumbled walking off as Lyla popped up to tell him something.

“Thank the lord! He see me sitting here burnin’ up and just keep talkin’ bout absolutely nothin’ like…” you tapped away on your watch. When the portal opened you turned to the others, “hey y’all wanna go swimming? My apartment complex has a pool but like nobody be out there cuz it’s full of old people.”

Margo, in person instead of her hologram, agreed quickly, “I love me a good pool, girl!” She said pressing buttons on her watch. The others also agreed excitedly. “I haven’t been swimming since I went with Gayatri.” He said in a love sick tone. Miles quirked a brow, “why’d you say that like it was forever ago it was just last week?”

You laughed, “just get changed and head to my dimension!” You say starting to step through.

Once through you quickly started pulling off your suit revealing your plush, chubby body. You let out a sigh of relief as you bend down to get the suit.

“Enjoying the show Bee?” You pop back up and turn to see him sprawled out on your bed. His eyes low as they study you with a familiar glint in them, “very much so.” His tongue running over his lip ring. You smirk and go to your drawer pulling out your swimsuit. You make your way to the bathroom and hear your bed quietly creak. Once inside you turn around and smirk up at the tall dark skin male leaning against the doorframe.

“Is there somethin’ you need sir?” Your arms crossed. He wrapped an arm around your waist and pulled you to him. His head dipped and his lips brushed over yours as they traveled to your neck where he peppered kisses. He then went and kissed your jaw and then your cheek before eventually moving back to your lips. He pulled back his thumb pulling at your bottom lip as you looked up at him with excitement shining in your eyes. His hand gently went around your throat to hold you in place, “gimme lips, yeah?” he pressed your lips together. Your giggles and mewls bouncing off the wall as he closed the door.

———

You and Hobie had a certain glow after your shower. Both of you smiling without actually smiling.

You were dressed in a white bikini when Margo and Gwen came through bickering. Margo wore a violet and teal one piece with a cut out on the stomach. Gwen wore black and white swim shorts with a teal top.

“[name] doesn’t she look like a girl kisser? She keeps tryna deny it!”

“I never said I wasn’t a girl kisser I just said you kiss girls too!”

You snorted at them and went to record a few videos of yourself in the mirror looking good.

The boys came at the same time with Miles gracefully tripping as he came in when he saw Margo and Gwen who giggle. His red swim trunks had small anchors on them that were black and gold. Pavitr was very smooth with his entrance as he flipped hair and showed off his blue and gold trunks, “you guys like? They match with Gayatri.” His smile practically blinding.

“You two have matching swimsuits?” Gwen asked with a quirked brow.

His expression fell, “well no. She said it was too cheesy, even for her…” he then perked up, “but I bought them and that counts for something!”

You pouted at ‘your’ kids, “awww so sweet Pav! Now come along children. Come get in your favorite parent’s video so I’ll have memories!” You say opening Snapchat and starting to record you all in the mirror. As soon as you started you noticed your pudge stuck out a bit more than usual, “hmmm my fupa really fupa-ing today.”

Just then Hobie strolled into the room dress in patriotic trunks he stole and made his own with tears and safety pins here and there. He got in the video and looked in your reflection in the mirror. He licked at his lip ring and shrugged.

“Good pum pum deserve shelter.”

You could hear a pin drop as everyone stood frozen, except for the punk who went about getting a towel. The video then stopped recording and continued to replay what he said, taking up the silence.

Everyone stared wide eyed. You broke the silence first.

“Hello???”

He looked at you and shrugged, “did I lie?”

You sputtered and Pav started laughing in the back.

“Honestly you’re lucky I didn’ say tha first thing I thought.”

[hwaslayer]

project: make you love me (jyh) | two.

♣︎ spotify playlist | series masterlist

—summary: yunho can’t stand how you’re so wrapped up in the notorious campus fuckboy, park seonghwa. he would gladly love you the way you deserve, despite being shy, awkward and the complete opposite of seonghwa. thus, when he finds himself spending more time with you over literature reviews and random study sessions, he decides to take on the challenge to win you over.

—pairing: jeong yunho x f. reader x park seonghwa

—genre: (18+ - minors dni) strangers/friends to lovers, college au | fluff, angst, (eventual) smut

—word count: 3.6k

—chapter content/warnings: nothing too bad since we're still in the beginning stages of things lol, cussing, friends being supportive, friends being instigators and projecting!!, hwa still being hwa, yunho being shy and awkward but very caring

You scrambled to get your literature review done, almost forgetting that you had to send it to Yunho before officially submitting it to your professor. It's a bit past midnight when Seonghwa decides it's time to drop you off— even if it gets incredibly late, he'd prefer to drop you off at home rather than let you stay.

All Seonghwa's bullshit plans.

You yawn as you quietly step into your shared apartment, careful not to wake your roommates as you pull out your laptop and finish your lit review on the kitchen island in the dark. It fucking sucks that absolutely nothing is coming to you for this review because now, Yunho is probably going to think you're just flat out dumb for not being able to see what everyone else sees.

"Hey." You whip your head up so fast you almost give yourself whiplash. Seungmin groggily walks out of his room and into the kitchen, grabbing a glass of water. "Why are you working out here in the dark? Did you just get home?" You nod.

"Mhm. Forgot I had to finish that literature review and send it to Yunho."

"Forgot already?"

"Shut up, okay? Not my favorite assignment to work on. Besides, I wanna give him some time to review it and chew my ass if he needs to. Rather him than Dr. Nelson at this point." You type away, probably hella nonsense and gibberish about the movie at this point.

"Hm." Seungmin hums as he quickly drinks his water. "Don't stay up too late."

"I won't. Just gonna give this a few more words then send it off." You sigh. God, you almost regret asking Yunho [out of all people] for help. He's super smart and he always knows what he's doing. Was this the right route to go? Maybe you should've just asked Dr. Nelson and dealt with it.

"Mkay. Goodnight then, Y/N." Seungmin yawns as he drags himself back to his shared room with Soobin. You decide that you're gonna take another 10 minutes to finish off the review, giving it everything you can think of right now. If it needs tweaking or any additional details, Yunho can surely step in and help. You feel exhaustion hitting you quickly, giving your review the last bout of energy you have left before you shower and call it a night.

"Done." You say to yourself, sending it off to Yunho as an attachment. 

He probably won't look at this until later.

You make sure to double check your emails and assignments, keeping track of everything that's due and needs to be turned in—

Ding.

You peep the notification that pops up on the bottom right of your laptop screen.

"1 New Email from: Jeong Yunho (jeongyh@kq.edu)"

"What the fuck?" You mutter to yourself. It hasn't been a whole 10 minutes since you sent the email. You click on the notification anyway, letting it bring you to the new email in your student inbox.

— do you have time to meet really quickly later today? i wanna go over your review with you. cool if you can't though, just prefer to talk to you in person instead of marking up your page without any explanation to back it up.

You sigh and sit there, trying to remember your schedule for tomorrow. You do have a 45 minute break in between your morning classes. Hopefully, he's free.

— sure! i'm free from 10:15-11. does that work for you?

"1 New Email from Jeong Yunho (jeongyh@kq.edu)"

— yup, i don't have class till after lunch. i'll be working at one of the booths in the library.

You sit back and respond, feeling a bit of relief.

— cool, see you. :) thanks for your help.

Yunho sits at his desk, feeling a bit awkward and nervous even though you can't see him right now. It's probably a little pathetic at how quick he opened up your email, but to be fair, you seemed like you really needed the help and that's what he wanted to give you. You aren't necessarily writing bad reviews, since you're hitting all the right points. But, he has Dr. Nelson figured out. He doesn't want just the facts— he wants you to think outside of the box, write out the emotions, feelings, outcomes of all the actions, give examples, state what your thoughts are on how this effects the surroundings, other characters. You just need to add that little umph to your reviews and give him more than the bare minimum. Yunho gets it though, it's not easy to tap into that all the time. That's why he's here to help. 

He's hoping he can be the help you need.

"Did you come in pretty late last night or was Seungmin sleep walking?" Soobin scratches the side of his head as the two of you walk towards the library.

"No, that was me." You chuckle.

"Did Seonghwa at least walk you to the door? Cause that's late."

"Yeah right." You scoff and Soobin shakes his head. "Whatever though, he drops me off as close as possible to our building."

"Still. He should at least walk you halfway."

"Mm, yeah." Is all you respond with. "Anyway, lunch later? I have to meet with Yunho to talk about this review."

"Oh? You're actually meeting with him? That's new. I feel like that's something out of the ordinary for Yunho."

"He asked if we could so that he could explain better instead of just marking up my review." 

"That's nice of him."

"Yeah, hopefully I'm not too much of a pain in the ass."

"Doubt it. You just need a little guidance, that's all. Sure he'll be super helpful." Soobin smirks. "He seems to not go out of his way for people, maybe he likes you."

"Are you serious right now? All because I need help over a literature review." Soobin laughs.

"Just saying. I already like Yunho way more than Seonghwa."

"Okay, I'm leaving. I'll see you later." You roll your eyes and enter the quieter side of the library where the booths are located. It's easy to spot Yunho, especially with that towering figure of his even while sitting. Today, he's wearing a navy and white flannel, with a grey shirt underneath. His hair falls to his face as he leans over to write some notes. He has one finger placed on a page in his textbook, while the other hand is busily writing away. He glances to and from every now and then, only looking up at his surroundings when he feels you approaching.

"Um, hi." You awkwardly stand near the booth with your books tucked against your chest. He simply looks at you before giving you a tiny, pursed smile and returning his attention to his books.

"Hey." He moves his book and notebook closer to himself in order to give you some room. "Sorry, just need to finish this right quick."

"That's okay. Take your time." You slide in awkwardly and set your books on the surface of the table. "Thanks for going over my review."

"No worries." He says softly before finishing up his notes and shutting his books closed. He brings out his laptop and types away to unlock it, pulling up your document before turning the laptop towards you. "So."

"Sorry, I know it was bad." You look at him, a little shy and embarrassed. He tilts his head a bit and furrows his brow while looking at you.

"Huh? No, it wasn't bad, Y/N." He lets out a small chuckle. "You're hitting the right points, Dr. Nelson is just super complex and wants you to use these facts a bit more." He points at a line in your review. "You talk about the characters feelings here after an upsetting moment, which is right. But, how does it affect their surroundings? Their actions, the people around them, what they get themselves into to cope. How does feeling bad branch out to all these things? Why? How does it contribute to their overall attitude, to the overall character?" You nod. 

"It seems so easy to talk about, but I don't know why I have so much trouble doing it. I feel kinda dumb." He shrugs.

"You're not. You just have to dig into the details a little more and use those examples instead of staying safe and stating what we know already. It's easy to stay safe because you know what you're stating is gonna be right. Dr. Nelson just wants a little more than that, is all."

"Thanks, Yunho." He gives you a toothless smile.

"Of course. Uh," He scratches his temple. "Let's go through everything else? So, I can be of better help to you?" You nod.

"Only if you're okay with it."

"Yeah. Just wanna make sure I help you out correctly." He lets out a shy chuckle before thoroughly going through your literature review with you. He asks you the right questions, allowing you to edit your own document on his laptop while the two of you continue to converse. He shares his thoughts and the things he's included on his review, making it easier for you to understand what you were missing and leaving out in your own.

Literature was never your favorite. You partially didn't care enough to put in enough effort, hence the lack of patience and understanding with the assignments— the lack of patience and understanding with your own professor.

As 11 closes in, you sit and look at your fully edited review feeling content. You look at Yunho, a small toothless smile on your face while he awkwardly glances around the library to avoid long eye contact. He gently taps his hands against the surface of the table, waiting for you to break the silence.

Which, you eventually do.

Thank god.

"Yunho, I feel so much better about this." You slide the laptop over to him. "Thanks for helping me, seriously. I don't know what I'd do if I had to see Dr. Nelson's comments again."

"It's not a problem." He shrugs. "I um, can continue to look at your reviews if you want?" Your eyes light up as you nod delightfully.

"Really?"

"Sure."

"I have to repay you somehow, that's too much on your plate isn't it?"

"It's not. I wouldn't offer if it was." He chuckles a bit.

"Lunch one day?"

"You don't have to."

"I would like to. Or, if our schedules don't work, we can always meet for coffee and go in on the café desserts."

"Sounds good." He smiles and pulls out his phone to slide it towards you. "Mm, do you think I can grab your number? Sorry, don't mean to be lame about it. I just figured it'd be easier instead of emailing each other. Unless that's what you.. prefer?" You chuckle and shake your head.

"No, this is totally easier. Don't worry." You plug your number in before sliding it back to me. "There."

"That's me." He says after giving you a quick ring so you can save his number on your own phone. You start to gather your things to start heading to class when you hear a familiar laugh come from one of the aisles to your right. You turn over your shoulder to catch wind of the noise, finding Seonghwa deep in conversation with another classmate, another senior girl [actually this one is probably Hyeri?] She seems to be laughing at his jokes, even though they probably aren't that funny. Somehow, the way he looks at her [along with any other female who isn't you] breaks your heart.

Breaks your heart even though there isn't anything else left to break.

Seonghwa briefly makes eye contact with you before his eyes quickly dart to Yunho, then back to Hyeri in front of him. You quietly continue to gather your things and swallow the lump forming in your throat, unsure why you allow this feeling to completely ruin your mood. Yunho takes note, for sure though. Again, he's not sure if he should feel bad because you surely knew what it was like getting tangled with Seonghwa. That was no secret on campus. However, he's an empath, and seeing that you've been kind and calm around him— he can't help but feel bad. A tiny bit sad, upset even, that you continue to let yourself mess around with Seonghwa when you deserve so much more.

Yunho challenges Seonghwa a bit though, letting his eyes linger on him until Seonghwa breaks away first. He checks on you and parts his lips slightly because he wants to say something, anything— he's just not sure what. Eventually, he settles with:

"Are you okay?" It's clear you're not and Yunho immediately feels stupid as fuck for settling with that question.

"Hm, yeah. Just tired, is all." He nods, watching as you slide out of the booth and swing your bag strap over your shoulder.

"Don't hesitate to text me if you need anything else. I'll try and help." When he says it, he's hoping you can catch onto the fact that he's someone who could listen to your troubles. He's not good with words or opening up to people, but he thinks he could at least offer that after seeing the way you sank in front of him. His eyes dart back up to you when you tuck your books back to your chest and smile at him.

"I will. Thanks again, Yunho. Lunch or coffee soon, okay?" You say sweetly before leaving him back to his lonesome. 

"How was your date with Yunho?" Soobin asks as he forks his salad and takes a big bite. You glare at him before shaking your head.

"This is how rumors spread, you idiot." Chaery smacks him on the back of the head, making him laugh but slightly wince in pain at the same time.

"I'll whoop your ass if you say that word and Yunho in the same sentence one more time." You roll your eyes. "My literature review session with him went fine. He did help me out a lot, practically added another page to my review from all the edits we made."

"That's good." Soobin says, laughing. "Are you gonna have him review your literature stuff from now on?"

"Probably, it comes so easy for him. Or, maybe I just lack the patience." You shrug. "But, his help would definitely be nice. I need to push my grade up."

"Mhm." Soobin wiggles his brows.

"He's pushing this Yunho agenda so much." You point at Soobin while looking at Chaery and she shrugs.

"I mean don't get me wrong, I'm on the same bloat." You glare at her. "But, I'm on your side more than anything!" She quickly bounces back, making you sigh.

"I give up." You mumble as you rest your chin on the palm of your hand. Suddenly, your phone vibrates off to the side, making you lazily tap your screen to see who the notification is from.

"Better not be Seonghwa." You glare at Chaery once again.

"I'm taking this to the couch." You stick your tongue out before grabbing your phone and walking over to the couch in the living room. Because it's not, and you don't really wanna deal with your teasing friends even more.

yunho: btw, i like this website if i don't really wanna dig too deep into the details

yunho: it's a good website that summarizes a lot of the themes in books, and they have a huge catalog

You smile and respond back, feeling appreciative that he thought of you.

yunho: srry for the triple text, hope i didnt bother

you: you didn't. thank you, yunho :) i'll bookmark this that way i won't have to bother you so much lol

yunho: you're not a bother haha but np. have a good night!

you: you too!

Then, another comes in. And of course it's Seonghwa. But, the message isn't your typical message, no. It's a message that easily rubs you the wrong way because why? Why does Seonghwa like to pull this shit?

seonghwa: since when did you talk to jeong yunho? lol

you: why does it matter?

seonghwa: it's a simple question?

you: you're ridiculous, you know? we're in the lit same class. again, not that it matters .. ?

seonghwa: how am i ridiculous? lol

you: whatever seonghwa

seonghwa: why are you upset, baby? i'm just asking. i don't see what yunho's point is

you: he has no point, he's just helping me out.

seonghwa: okay, sure lol do you wanna come over? could use your company ): 

you: not tonight

you: maybe you can call hyeri, or whatever her name is. i'm spending time with my roommates

seonghwa: baby, seriously? i was talking to a classmate. can we not fight over dumb shit again?

you: goodnight seonghwa

You sigh out of irritation, tossing your phone aside. It's a bit close to 10pm, but you feel like getting some fresh air and taking a quick walk around the complex would do you some good. 

"Chaery, can we take a walk?" She looks at you and nods.

"Sure."

"What about me?" Soobin asks with a mouth full.

"You're eating."

"I can take it with me."

"It's girl talk." He cringes a bit and shakes his head.

"Nevermind. Be safe, come back soon." You chuckle just as Chaery walks out of your shared room in a hoodie. She has one of your jackets in your hand, handing it over as she gets closer.

"It's a bit cold tonight. Jacket?" 

"Thanks." You smile at her as you throw it on and zip it up, sliding into your slippers before walking out. Chaery is right; the air is colder, crisp. It has a little bite, especially against your skin. Chaery wraps her arm around yours, pulling you close for extra body heat.

"What happened, babe?"

"Huh?"

"You told Soobin it was girl talk." You laugh a bit and nod.

"Oh yeah, right. It is." You sigh as you hold her close. "Nothing, it's just Seonghwa. He texted me just to ask when I started talking to Yunho and what his point was. Got on my nerve."

"Ew, what's his problem? Y/N, seriously. You can do so much better than him. I know it's not easy, and I know he has his moments with you. But baby, you deserve someone who is always sure about you and who will be happy to flaunt you off."

"I know." You sigh. "It's like every time I think about leaving, he does something to keep me close."

"But, it shouldn't be this way, you know? You shouldn't have to wait for these moments. It should happen every day if he really cared about you."

"Yeah." Is all you can say because what can you say? It's hard to break it off with Seonghwa because this is your routine, something you've gotten used to— his presence is something you've gotten accustomed to. Even if it he isn't necessarily the best, he keeps you company. The kind of company that you like.

"How was meeting up with Yunho? Did he help you with your review?"

"A lot. He is super helpful, and he offered to keep helping me."

"Aw." Chaery giggles. "That is so sweet of him."

"He's actually really kind, and patient. I offered to take him out for lunch or something one day."

"Cute. Yeah, you should! Get to know him. Maybe he just needs a little pushing out of his shell, you know? You could probably help him in return." You shrug.

"Maybe? He's still—" Suddenly, Chaery's eyes shoot up to the figure ahead. She does a little gasp before making a cute noise and dragging you closer.

"Yunho!" She says, waving at him. He looks a little startled, but he stops in his tracks and waits with his hands in his pockets— a shy, small smile creeping at the corner of his lips. "Wait, oh my god! I didn't realize you lived here, too! I mean, so does the majority of campus, but still!" You sure as hell didn't know either, and you feel a bit bad that you just probably never noticed. 

"Uh, yeah. I just live over there." He points at his building.

"Who do you live with?"

"Kang Yeosang." Chaery nods.

"Ah, cute. What a pair." You give her a look before shifting your attention back to Yunho. He quietly waits for the next part of the conversation, his eyes softly gazing over you. 

You're cute.

"What are you doing out here this late?"

"Could ask the same for you two." He chuckles and nervously scratches at the nape of his neck. "I, uh, can't sleep sometimes. The walk kinda helps."

"Ah, I see. Makes sense."

"So.." He awkwardly says, shifting weight from one foot to another. "Also couldn't sleep?" You shrug.

"We just needed to get out and get some air." Chaery cuts in for a follow-up to avoid any Seonghwa talk. Though, she knows Yunho wouldn't do that to you. 

"It's getting late though, and pretty cold."

"We're just gonna walk to the end then walk back."

"Hm, okay." 

"It was nice running into you." Chaery smiles. "I hope you can get some rest tonight!"

"Hopefully. Have a good night." He looks at her, then you; he gives you a very tiny, very subtle nod of acknowledgement. With that, the two of you walk past to continue your walk, Chaery praising how gentle and good-looking Yunho is until the end of the walk. Yunho knows the community is safe, but he cuts his walk short just to head up to his building and get a better view of yours. He hangs over the railing near the stairs, catching sight of you and Chaery. He watches as you circle back around to your building, slowly heading up the stairs. He can hear your laughs from where he stands, and he's glad you seem to be okay tonight.

It's good that you have great friends by your side.

When your figures disappear into the hallway, Yunho feels content, relieved— knowing you've both made it safely home. He turns on his heel to make it to his own apartment, greeted by a dark living room with echoes of Yeosang yelling at his PC.

At least you're okay. 

At least you're not outside, waiting in the cold.

At least you're with good company.

♣︎ taglist: @s-nsanshine @soupbinlily @tyongff-ff @jiminiscricket @g1g1l @staytinyinmybpack @woomyteez @gfksz @bitchwhytho @savluvsmingi @thisisntmyrightera @hyukssunflower @miriamxsworld @tmtxtf @kuromibabe04 @lmnhead @carrietwrites @tournesol155 @persphonesorchid @txt-yaomi @marsattacks @mxnsxngie [bold = can’t tag 😭]

[literally-noone83]

Breathe Easy

Draken x Fem!reader

Synopsis: Draken comes by your place at night only to find out you've been stuck in a household full of screaming and yelling.

A/n: Another short oneeee. Writing juice on low. But I hope you like this comfort fic. Also of you have any requests or ideas for fics please send them in, I'd happy to look at it. Might spark a new writing piece or if I like it enough, I'll write what you suggest :)) Ok enjoy! ALSO, can't reply to comments yet. But to the love given for my Loki fic THANK YOUUUU.

He saunters down dampened roads and over the faint, flickering spots of light from streetlights that buzzed softly. Slanted and with the lingering smell of rust and rain, it marked the neglect of these metropolitan roads. He breezes through the long alleyways and the small spaces between brick walls where every ounce of light is evaporated under the high moon. Only the rare silouhette passes by in his distance or the echoe of reving cars.

His hands rest comfortably in his pockets as he wandered through the blocks of apartments, and dingey homes sat on the outskirts of the city. He knew them like the back of his hand. Needn't stop once or look over his shoulder. He can hear the crisp air whistle in his ear and every mile away car. Even if he was to be attacked it wasn't an issue to Toman's vice-leader.

His nerves rest easy. All that's on his mind is getting to where he needed to be.

Nearing the apartment complexes that sit almost side by side, he made his way over to one of the windows just above the ground. Lined on the floor, there were the partial basement housings. His eyes glided over the dirtied cement, the way the barred widows glisten with droplets that run down its faces. Many of them had its curtains drawn. It was midnight after all. Everyone should be asleep but amidst the lot, his eyes flickered with familiarity at the one that was never fully drawn at this hour. A warm glow from a lamp he knew kissed the edges of the lower window as he drew near.

Naturally the end of his lip curve up softly at the sight. He stops at the foot of it before crouching down, beside your window into your room. He tilts his head to see you at your desk beside that small lamp as expected. However... his eyes peered over your slouched figure upon not textbooks upon textbooks but rather a comic. Strange, he thought.

Casually, he leans forward and knocks on your window. He watched your head snap towards him in somewhat of a shock. He noticed the way your eyes don't light up or the way you don't instantly smile. Instead, you're quick to move over to him and pull the window open before sitting back down.

"I thought you had patrol." You go back to the comic you left open. His smile has long disappeared.

"Finished... thought you'd be studying." He hums lowly. On cue a loud thud ricochet off the wall followed by barking voice of anger that overlapped one another.

Furrowed brows etch his complexion with worry as his eyes instantly dart over to your unflinching self. You continued to stare at your comic. With the way your eyes were distilled upon the animated drawings, he wondered how long you've been re-reading that same page.

"Couldn't think..." You finally murmur.

He let's out a silent sigh. "Should I-"

"They're fine... just angry as usual. And stupid."

His eyes danced over your expression carefully, but it doesn't move.

"Have they been at it all day?"

There's a momentary hesitation in your eyes and he watches shame wash over you like it's your fault. You hum softly not once looking at him.

Draken has seen that face before. Distant and quietly fuming, so unlike the unceasing smiles, bubbling and maniacle laughter, and that endless sarcasm that makes your eyes glimmer. At times, Draken truly wondered how two emotionally unstable and temperamental people could produce someone like you and let their shitty relationship weigh on their child this much.

Over the years knowing you, Draken never saw anything affect your mood as your parents' big blowout fights did. Draken never had parents, and despite growing up under the roof of a brothel that had its own varying imperfections, he could only imagine how hefty it was to be an only child isolated between walls that shook with the yells and screaming of parents love that's meant to warm them.

An unadulterated scream echoes, like a child throwing a tantrum before more barking follows; empty threats of money loss, divorce, cheating and who knows what more. The dull look in your eyes that stares blankly, he could see the hurt you never like showing. But he can see it.

His jaw ticks. He hated you being there alone. He quickly looks around, down both the empty wet streets.

"Hey." He said suddenly.

"You should go." You still don't look at him.

"Hey."

"They'll stop soon."

"I said hey."

"What?" You snap your head towards him, a hint of irritation.

Your gaze met his through the bars where he crouches. He taps on the metal.

"Let's go." It's not a question. It's a soft demand.

The crease between your brows smooths at the mere of idea of escaping. Your lips part, eyes unsure.

"I- draken I can't."

"You can. Come with me." He says again. "C'mon you've done it before."

You sigh at his persistence. "It's midnight."

"And this is a fucking shit hole." He deadpan. "Let's get out of here."

He coxed a brow at you in challenge as you looked at him sternly. Immediately his gaze softens into something assuring and pleading. "Cmon, Y/n... let them have it out. You don't have to listen to their shit."

You take a deep breath before shutting your comic and reaching into your draw for a key. You climb up and unlock the window gate. Draken stands back, swinging the gate open and reaching down to help you up through the window.

"God, they're gonna kill me." You grunt as you find your footing. Draken takes the key and shuts up your window and locks the gate.

"No they won't." He says it so self-assured. Not because he's sure you won't get caught sneaking out but because he'd never let anyone harm you, not even your damned parents.

"You're right, they'd come after you." You poke at him, a smile threatening your lips.

His ears perk up at the tingue of your familiar words. He straightens, looking down at you with a smirk.

"Good. Can't wait to actually meet them." His voice is unsuspecting, but his comment is playful. His dry sarcasm makes you roll your eyes and shake your head to hide the humoured grin that breaks out on your lips. You couldn't help yourself. If anything, everything in you chanted you shouldn't be smiling. Shouldn't even remotely feel like smiling after such a shitty day contained in a cage of torment. But with Draken, you let slip a rather quiet and sarcastic comment, and all of a sudden the end of your lips twitch, and you felt like laughing.

A satisfied smile blooms on his lips as he catches your small smile. There it was. That Sass. That impeccable humour that cracks at the smallest of things. That smile.

There's my girl, he thought.

He takes your hand, forcing you to meet his gaze.

"Let's have fun, yea?"

You sober up and a genuine smile takes its place on your lips. Even in darkness, he could see the stars dance in your eyes. You held a softening gaze, and your shoulds deflated as if all stresses were slowly leaving you willingly and happily. With an expression that said through unspoken words he didn't need you to ever say aloud, 'I'm glad you're here.' That 'I feel safe with you.'

"To the park?" You asked, a twinge of childish hope in your voice.

That knowing look in his eyes said yes, and that was all you needed before you were tugging him forward then letting go in a spontaneous race to get there first.

At home you felt like you couldn't breathe. Those walls felt so close together. Outside knowing Draken was a few spaces behind or beside you, you could breathe. Puffing out white smokes of cold air from your lungs after running down the street, giggling and hushing one another in empty pathways and swinging on swings under the streetlight hazy glow.

With you, the dark alleyways and wet tar roads weren't so mundane. Cold rainy nights like that one, sauntering down cramped homes and dingey parks weren't so uninviting. Long nights didn't feel so long, and lonely walks didn't feel so lonely. With you, the moon wasn't the most beautiful sight in the night anymore...

Without having to say it or proclaim it, you both wordlessly save each other from your own endeavours. With one another, you could breathe easy. With one another, you were a little less alone. With one another, you felt safe and, most importantly, alive.

[sungbeam]

JACOB BAE BF HEADCANONS—!

jacob bae x gn!reader

0.9k words, fluff hehe, bulletpoints, barely proofread lol

a/n: we knew this was coming, everyone. don't act too surprised now õ_ó lmao thank u @justalildumpling for reminding me how to write bulletpoint hcs 🤡😭

jacob bae, boyfriend material™, my beloved sweet canadian angel boy—(bear with me 💀)

acts of service!

my reasoning behind this is incredibly justified okay 😩 if u haven't seen the picture of his response to a deobi about what he's looking for in a partner, he basically said for one of them that he'd like to be the one taking care of them instead of the other way around

completely justified; very jacob bae of him

this man would literally never let you lift a finger when you're with him. he would always insist on driving you places so you wouldn't have to take public transport by yourself, or he would def take time out of his day to go with you on public transport. if you had to, say, take the metro alone, he would facetime or call you the entire time so you weren't truly alone and someone knew where you were in case of an emergency

he'd probably even share his earbuds with you while sitting together so u could listen to the same music (communicating without words (´Д⊂ヽ)

you can def expect him to be cooking dinner for the two of you, even after a long day. all he wants is to make sure you know you are loved and that you feel loved. he's not blind to the purple eye bags beneath your eyes, and even though he's tired, he knows you'd do the same for him

when he stays up late for you, you wake up early to prepare things for him in the morning

quality time!

if you don't live together, he would call you while studying or working so he can still be in your presence somehow. he's kind of quiet most of the time, but it's just cuz he's a great listener and wants to hear what you have to say instead.

we know that the poor thing is kind of a scaredy cat, so when the two of you are watching movies and he gets scared, he clings onto you and hides his face in your shoulder or your neck ><

when the two of you first started dating, he would try to pretend like he wasn't scared, but then when you noticed him curl up around a pillow or raise his blanket a little higher, you moved closer and let him hold onto you instead

can you imagine daily walks with him? maybe like taking the time each week in the evenings to hold hands and take a stroll through the park?

maybe you'd both scout out places for a picnic, and the two of you would giggle as you spread out the blanket and laid on top of each other beneath the shade of an oak tree, and he would have brought his guitar

SPEAKING OF HIS GUITAR!! (we all knew this was coming pls) when you expressed wanting to learn, he would be super excited to teach you

you're sitting between his legs or on his lap on the couch in his apartment, and he's just got his hands over yours as he shows you the right fingerings and patterns for certain chords

man likes to praise you and let you know you're doing a good job; has his chin settled on your shoulder and his mouth close to your ear as he murmurs "you're a natural at this, babe"

SOCJOSKC OH NO CAN U IMAGINE HIM PLAYING THE ELECTRIC GUITAR PART FROM MARIA, MARIA BY SANTANA 😭 (devastated </3)

late night drives with him: it's like 2am and neither of you can sleep, so he takes you out to drive around the neighborhood, then stops in an empty parking lot to sit together and quietly talk about life, love, and each other. it's very romantic and soft, just as he is, and he just holds your hand while he drives, his thumb running gently over your knuckles to assure you he's listening

misc! 😋

when you don't kiss him goodbye or good night he's just 🧍🏻‍♂️ with this little pout on his face like HUH.

would actually share his cereal with you; it's his love language

he may be an angel or whatever, but that just means he gets away with stuff easier !! i think it was implied somewhere that he plays pranks on people, and i can def see him hiding your car keys somewhere and giving you that angelic look like "it wasn't me" "cobie, i can see my keychain sticking out of your pocket" "you can have it back if you give me a kiss then"

OKAY. I'VE HELD BACK FOR THIS LONG BUT WE HAVE TO ADDRESS THE NEWSHOT PICS OF HIM HE'S SO BOYFRIEND IN THOSE HOW COULD I NOT?

in your first apartment together, you guys don't have a lot of furniture yet, so he sets up his laptop and gaming stuff on a couple moving boxes and coke cans 💀 but he's like "baby, my hair is getting in my eyes!!" while he's gaming and you come to his aid and tie his hair back or clip it back with one of your hair barrettes hehe

at pool parties with the other boyz, he goes shirtless (ofc) and every time he wraps his arm around you, you have a heart attack (as you should)

when beach volleyball starts up in the pool, the two of you end up on opposite teams and it's like the only time everyone sees the two of you so competitive, but it's only cuz you're both pretty good 🥴

but as soon as kyunyu challenge everyone to a chicken fight in the pool, you're both back in the other's good graces and you hop on top of jacob's shoulders to absolutely destroy everyone

a/n: lmk who u wanna see next! might end up doing kev or kyu next tho tbh lol

tbz m.list

permanent taglist: @tayunji @im-a-big-mess @honeyhuii @crazywittysassy @seomisaho @stopeatread @enhacolor @rnjfy @jaehunnyy @kpopjackie @spiderrenjunfics @soobin-chois @stayarmytinyzenmoa-l @mingiholic @ja4hyvn @vatterie @yogurteume @justalildumpling @hyunjaespresent-deobi @hongyangi @pxppxrminty @nerdypastacalzonespy @kflixnet

[makethatelevenrings]

Angel by the Wing - EIGHTEEN

Chapter Warnings: none

Series Masterlist

Their phone call had to be short because there weren’t many phones on the carriers and plenty of other people wanted to call their loved ones. The second Bradley handed the phone back to Jake to finish talking to you, he sagged against the wall and shut his eyes. Sure, he might have had a parachute but ejecting from a plane into enemy territory and then flying in a dinosaur beat his body to hell and back. He came away with just a few cuts and scratches from debris, but two ribs were cracked and his body was sore and sure to be covered in bruises soon.

Medical had checked him over and ran every test in the book, but he was fine. As fine as someone could be after two near-death experiences. The first thing he did after being released from the med bay, with promises of relaxing which was a word foreign to him, Bradley beelined to the phones where one Jake Seresin was sitting outside, waiting for him.

“Figured we could call her together, save her from having to answer two calls,” he explained. Jake exuded that calm, relaxing airs he always put on, but there was something sharp and churning below the surface.

Hearing Angel’s voice seemed to soothe his soul in a way he couldn’t explain. He could sense her smile over the line and he wanted to see it so badly that it made his chest ache. Fucking hell, no person had ever made him feel like this. Well, no one but the man standing beside him. 

Jake laid the phone back on the receiver and then turned his attention onto Bradley. He narrowed his eyes and studied him for a moment before he nodded towards the door. “You look dead on your feet, Bradshaw.”

“Yeah, I feel it,” he muttered. Jake slid his arm around Rooster’s waist and let him lean his weight against him as they slowly headed towards the Daggers bunk rooms. He passed Bradley’s room and instead opened the door to his. The brunet didn’t argue, but instead shuffled forward and unceremoniously dropped himself onto the small bunk in the corner of the room. Thankfully, since they were officers, they didn’t have to share like the enlisted sailors who were packed into rows of bunks like sardines on the floor below them.

“I didn’t think we’d get this far,” Jake admitted quietly. “It was always the mission, but now it’s over and…”

Rooster nodded, staring up at the metal ceiling above him and then tilting his head down so he could see the man leaning up against the door. “Yeah, I get it.”

After all of the noise over the past few days, the second Rooster climbed into Hangman’s bed, he was struck by just how silent it was. The only thing that filled the empty space was the sounds of their breathing mingled together. Jake was staring blankly at the far wall, his brows furrowing and his lips pressing into a firm line.

“Stop thinking about it,” Bradley sighed. “I can hear you thinking from over here.”

“About what?” Hangman shot back.

“About the shot. It was perfect. Another point on your record. You couldn’t have done better.”

“It’s not that. I don’t care about how fucking good it was, I keep thinking about what would have happened if I had been a second too late.”

Bradley sat up at the tight, controlled sound of Jake’s voice. He watched as Jake ran a hand over his face, then through his fair, pulling the controlled strands into a mess. The calm and controlled Hangman was coming apart at the seams right before his eyes.

“I just keep thinking about what the hell I would have to say to her to explain why I came home and you didn’t,” Jake blurted out, his voice breaking at the end of his sentence. Bradley’s breath caught in his throat and Jake, drunk on fear, continued speaking.

“It would have been my fault. I wouldn’t have pushed you enough, doubted you too much, hadn’t been fast enough. I don’t know, it would have been my fault somehow, and I wouldn’t be able to live with myself knowing that I was the reason yo-”

“But I didn’t.” Bradley couldn’t listen to this anymore. He couldn’t just sit here and listen to Jake espouse about the “what ifs” and tear himself up inside over something that had never happened. He started to push off the bed to walk towards the blond, but Jake stumbled forward when he saw Bradley trying to move. He pushed Bradley down by the shoulders and then pulled his hands away as if he burned himself by touching the soft cotton fabric of the shirt he had been given in medical.

“But you could have,” Jake croaked out. “And I just keep seeing her face, the same one she had when we found her that night, and I keep seeing the flag over your casket and I-”

And maybe Bradley Bradshaw was losing it a little. He had not one but two near death experiences in the past twenty-four hours and he really didn’t give a shit at this current moment. He was tired, sore, and he really wanted to see his girl but he also had this self-sacrificing idiot next to him going on about nonsense and so he leaned over, fisted the front of Hangman’s uniform top, and pulled him into a searing kiss. Jake stiffened for a second but he quickly sank into the touch, his lips softening and parting so Bradley could swipe his tongue along his mouth and taste his spearmint chapstick.

“Shut the fuck up,” Rooster said once he pulled away, chest heaving and forehead pressed against the blonds. “Just shut the fuck up. Stop saying that shit. You saved me. I was fully ready to just accept my fate but you saved me and Mav. So shut the fuck up and realize that this is real and I’m here and you saved me. And don’t say that shit around Angel. You’ll break her heart.”

Jake inhaled deeply and he kneeled down on the bed, bracketing Bradley on either side of his hips but keeping the bulk of his weight off of him. Jake kissed him again, desperate for the taste of him to stay on his tongue forever.

“I regret letting you go all those years ago,” Jake admitted. “I was a coward.”

“We were both cowards,” Bradley argued. “And the Navy didn’t make it easy. But we’re here now.”

Jake traced his fingertips down the side of Bradley’s face, over his lips as the edge of his mustache tickled his skin and then he raised them over the bridge of his nose until Bradley raised his chin and pressed a kiss to his palm.

“All because of a smart mouthed bartender,” Jake chuckled.

“God, I can’t wait to see our girl.” The “our” warmed both of their chests and Jake rolled off of him so he was lying on his side and his hand settled on Rooster’s hip. There wasn’t any competition between the two of them, no stupid fucking Twilight-esque love triangle. You fit in with them as easy as breathing and for once in his life, he wanted to see what a future would look like outside of the usual fuck and suck and move along lifestyle he had been living. See you, feel you. Both men had felt the clear and present absence of you these past few days.

“We don’t tell her about the mission,” Jake said. Not just the classified details. If they told you about Rooster and Maverick’s near death experience, you would worry and fret and neither man wanted to make you scared. Bradley nodded, his hand sliding up to cup the back of Jake’s neck. 

“Yeah, I like my balls where they are,” he replied. Jake grinned and laid his head down on the pillow next to him. It was a tight fit, but they didn’t mind. The blond made sure not to aggravate his lover’s injuries, but still kept touching him to ensure that he was real and present. All they needed was the third body between them and everything would finally feel right.

Tag List: @mizzzpink​ @xoxabs88xox​ @dreaminglandsworld​ @khaylin27​ @loveforaugust​ @phoenixssugarbaby​ @atarmychick007​ @mak-32​ @itsmytimetoodream​ @krismdavis​ @emma8895eb​ @startrekfangirl​ @hangmandruigandmav​ @lunamoonbby​

[lena-in-a-red-dress]

Castaway AU -- Reconnecting

Despite her promise to James, Kara needs time to cross the country again, and return to the house Lena shares with James. She wants to, but it's hard to leave her apartment these days, let alone traverse the country on a crowded plane.

Her time runs out nearly a week later, when James gives her a call.

"She's shutting down," James tells her, his voiced edged with desperation. "She can barely stand to look at me, let alone let me help her."

"Why?" Kara croaks.

James sighs. "Because I'm the one who told her you would want her to move on."

Silence stretches thin between them.

"I'm going to take the kids to my mom's for a few days," James continues. "Please-- come. It's-- whatever you may feel, please don't blame Lena."

Only then does Kara reclaim her voice.

"Never."

---

When Kara arrives at Lena's home, she's surprised and concerned to receive no answer when she knocks. She calls James.

"There's a shed out back," he tells her. "You'll find her there."

True to his word, when she opens the gate in the side fence and traipses to the backyard, the door of the shed hangs open. Inside, the interior is nothing like she expects.

Instead of storage for tools and lawncate equipment, she finds the remains of what was once likely a clean and tidy home laboratory. Now, though, she steps into the ruins of a tornado-- broken equipment on the floor and shreds of ripped paper scattered across every surface, floor included.

In the middle of it all is Lena, sitting on the room's single stool with her head bowed and shoulders slumped. Whatever rage may have prompted the destruction around her seems to have evaporated, leaving her without the strength to so much as lift her head when Kara softly calls her name.

"Lena..."

Lena only flinches, turning her chin away to further hide her face. She doesn't look up as Kara picks her way through the debris, and only studies her tightly clasped hands in her lap when Kara comes to stand before her.

Once there, Kara waits in anxious silence. She doesn't know what to say. In her time in the phantom zone, she's rehearsed what she might say to Lena million times, a million ways, but somehow nothing for a scenario like this.

"I tried," Lena whispers. Head bowed, she takes a shuddering breath. "For years. To bring you home."

Kara nods. "I know," she says quietly.

Swallowing audibly, Lena shakes her head once. "I said they told me to let you go, but... the truth is-- I gave up."

"Lena..."

"I just-- nothing worked, and I didn't... I didn't know what else to try. So-- I let myself believe you would want me to-- to move on."

Lena's voice chokes up. Finally, her head lifts, revealing features pallid and eyes full of tears that soon spilled down her cheeks.

"I gave up," she rasps. Her lips tremble. "I-- I stopped looking!"

With that, Lena's control collapses. With a sob that seems to crack her chest, Lena gasps through her tears, shoulders heaving. Before Kara knows what she's doing, she's stepped forward and wrapped her arms around her friend's shoulders.

Lena's face presses against Kara's chest, their difference in height only furthered by Lena's seat on the stool. Lena's arms wrap tightly about her waist, clutching her fingers into the fabric of her shirt as the front dampens with tears.

When Lena's sobs weaken and eventually cease, their embrace continues. Kara's hand cups the back of Lena's head, the touch more tender than anything Kara has felt in nearly a decade. For long moments, they simply breathe, tangled together, until Kara withdraws her arms to gently cup Lena's cheeks and tilt her chin up, allowing their eyes to meet once more.

"I can't say I wanted you to stop looking," Kara utters, "but if it was keeping you from being happy-- from living-- they were right. I didn't want that."

Lena's features threaten to crumple once more, and Kara isn't sure if she helps or hurts by leaning down to press a kiss to Lena's forehead.

"I forgive you," she murmurs. She takes a quaking breath as Lena's own breath catches in her chest. "And thank you. For not forgetting about me."

Lena's head shakes no between Kara's hands. "I could never forget you," she promises through a hiccup.

Kara's thumbs away Lena's tears, on the verge of spilling anew. Lena reaches up to grasp her wrists, willing Kara to believe her.

"Mia-- our eldest daughter-- her middle name is Kara."

Kara freezes, surprise coursing through her entire body when Lena's words register. Tears of her own spring to her eyes, for the first time in years.

"I love it," she says.

A warmth sparks in Kara's chest, slowly spreading as Lena finally stands and wraps her arms around Kara's shoulders in a true embrace. It's a long moment before she realizes what the warmth is, at this unexpected inclusion into Lena's family, despite her absence.

This feeling, long forgotten, foreign to Kara yet achingly familiar.

It's love.

[shut-up-rabert]

I read the recent post and I hope no hate anon is approaching you because I will bring my steel tupperware bottle

Anyway I am really glad that people like you and @lil-stark didi exist. I do not have much knowledge about the political power and parties and especially about the kashmiri pandit issue who was ruling who belonged to which party so I don't speak about this but people who downplay the atrocities that happenes with those pandits deserve a special place in hell. Like think you are moved away from your land by force, by brutal killing and rapes only after some years to hear a random person on the internet say yaar utna bhayankar bhi nahi hua tha and it's a propaganda

The amount of misinformation these so called modern radical folks have is hilarious. Ghanta ramayan mahabharat padhi kahin koyi translation chipka. Not so sweet61 posted that ss of ram following manu, if they really did Vashishtha wouldn't have asked for sita to be the commander of ayodhya instead of leaving with ram.

And Manusmriti itself contradicts the vedas and upanishads. We have had a culture that promoted women scholars, encouraged debate and questioning, and lol as if one could be a brahmin just because they were born in a family. You had to have those qualities to be that and then can you be one. It's as similar to a person being a warrior. Not everybody can be one. You need to train and practice for it. It's good that if you are born in one that way you have an exposure to the respective field just like today if I am born in a house full of doctors, I would have much knowledge about the study, expenses and related stuff to medicine.

Just like every culture every community has good and bad things, sees its rise and fall, we Hindus have seen too. From an era where it was encouraged for a woman to be a brahmavadini, we became resentful at the thought of sending girls to school. We forgot how the texts told to respect each and every person irrespective of their social status to discriminating them on basis of caste and there are all so many issues that we need to address too.

But majal hai that I will sit quietly and see these random people on the internet speak about my culture and insult it. From North to south east to west, Rama and Krishna have been worshipped and always will be. We will always look upto them and learn from them.

In the recent years, the youth of today apart from some dumb idiots who have bhagwan rama in their pfp and comment women tea on every post, I am happy to see that teens are taking interest to read and learn our own Indian history and scriptures. I am not seeing them blindly accept everything. I have seen them ask questions which might be considered 'blasphemous' by the elders but the vedas themselves promote curiousity, questioning and debate as the best way to gain knowledge. And I hope the younger gen keeps going in this path.

(You can respond to this ask in private varna tere piche hate anons aa skte hai)

Seriously, why did Ram, who supposedly followed Manusmriti marry a woman who was a scholar, a warrior, capable of lifting Shiva’s Dhanush and encouraged her to remain her brave, outspoken self because that’s who she was? Why request her to stay in the palace when Manu says that a woman should always be observed? Why give in to all her requests and respect her decisions when Manu says that a woman is mentally incapable of making sound decisions? Why be happy and praise her when she slays Sahastra Raavan?

If Manusmriti was truly being followed, why did the biggest scholar in that entire story, Janak, have his daughters educated, that too by a scholar woman like mata Gargi? Why train them in warfare? Why Did Dashrath bring Kekayi to war with him? Why did Dashrath request the hands of women, who impressed him by thier knowledge, for his sons? And like you pointed out, why offer a woman the position of commander??

If caste was the way Manusmriti says, why was Shabri, a lower caste woman, visited by the lord and sent to heaven? Why did he make a big show of letting the arrogant priests who looked at Shabri with scorn know that she is purer than them by making her touch clean the pond?

Why did Shri Krishna say that a true pandit (knowledgeable person) would see a Brahmin and a Chandala equally? Why did he say he resides in everyone equally, women and Shudras included? Why did the Vedas that are supposedly off limit for Shudras say this?

Manusmriti is not a scripture, it condradicts the Vedas themselves, when it comes to women’s education, the position of women (there is an exceprt where a warrior queen is mentioned), and being for everyone. Apparently women cannot read Vedas even though the Vedas speak to them directly in multiple excerpts? (Oh men and women, oh women etc,) Shudras Cannot read Vedas even though the Vedas say they are for everyone, Shudras included?

Even if you look at other works of the time, like Kamasutra, which technically is somewhat of a scripture in some parts where it discusses philosophy, because its prologue says it was first written by lord Nandi. Manusmriti thorughly contradicts that aswell.

Oh, and Kamasutra was written after Manusmiriti, And Ramayan and Vedas before it, and all of these except Manusmriti are now engraved on temple walls, so you can clearly see which ones of the restrictive and liberating philosophy was preffered by Hindus at large throughout.

If Casteism was so prominent and rigid, how did a shudra become the partriarch of the biggest empire in mainland India?

Chandragupta Maurya was either clanless or a Shudra, and the current existence of Maurya tribe in Bihar enforces the second one. How did he make it to the top, that too with the help of a Brahmin, if things were as dire? Same can be said for

How was Queen Durgavati’s Father in Law able to change himself into a Rajput despite being a tribal?

How was Vishwamitra, a born Kshatriya able to be a Rishi? How was Lord Parshuram, a born Brahmin revered on a higher level than most Kshatriyas in warfare and was able to put the fear of lord in their hearts?

How was rishi Matang able to be a brahmin despite being born a Shudra?

How was Mātang blessed with goddess Saraswati as a daughter?

How did Lord Gorakhnath become such a prominent saint?

How was VedVyas, son of a Fisherwoman, able to be a sage? How were children of Satyavati able to be kings?

How did the founder of Raghukul become a Kshatriya after becoming a king when he was born a Brahmin?

How was Lord Krishna happily doing the physical labour of a cowkeeper, like a shudra, while living in a vaishya community, despite being born a kshatriya?

I honestly have no more questions to ask that I can think of right now, and I honestly cannot agree more with everything you say. Slay girl💅🏻

I think its better if I make the answer public, simply because I ranted in public so the follow up doesn’t change much, and this is something people should see. But girl, thankyou so much for being worried <3

[boyslit]

since my brain isn't letting me write new stuff, y'all wanna read the wip i had that sparked every path? it's kind of condensed brain-soup style but has key points and dialogue i wanted to include. :3 the doc name was just "ring"

---

(much, much later: a return to belobog for a week. Caelus catches up with old friends and old flames.)

koski came across a ring he's been holding onto for… no reason. reminded him of someone. more sentimental than valuable so he hasn't sold it. it's just cheap cubic zirconia, pretty as it is. he could probably have gotten someone to buy it at a high price thinking it's expensive orange topaz but… the thought of someone else having this sits wrong in his stomach. he's definitely not thinking about it lying in a box in his jacket pocket as he lies with Caelus after fucking. he holds his lover instead and pretends he's not leaving again in three days

catches a ride to the next stop with the express crew. swears he'll get off at the next stop, he's just wanting to make it off jarilo vi and into new markets. there's a whole wide world and new economies to learn to hustle after all. it doesn't hurt he can spend an extra day or two with Caelus.

when they disembark on a lively civship they still spend a couple days together before sampo realizes if he doesn't force himself to let go he's going to cling to Caelus forever

he secrets the ring into Caelus' pocket directly before they leave each other-it's a messy snoggy goodbye ofc. Sampo's off to find greener markets. Caelus is off finding side quests and people to help. eventually he digs in his pockets for money for lunch (some little hole in the wall Dan Heng knew about and only takes cash) and finds the ring. it's gunmetal finish with a brilliant yellow topaz. just like his eyes, even in a marquise cut like his diamond pupils. there's no way it was a coincidence. but why did sampo sneak it into his pocket?

it fits his ring finger perfectly. he feels warm and happy anyhow. it was nice to have something to remember him by since their work was taking them so far apart.

friends comment on ring later. c mentions he found it in his pocket earlier. m and dh exchange glances. "so he didn't propose with it, he just snuck it in your pocket? how cowardly."

"propose? propose what?"

"uh getting married? duh."

"well that doesn't sound like him anyway. is that what people do, ask someone to marry them with a ring?"

"yes????”

"March, he has even fewer memories than you."

"ooh, right. sorry"

cae studies the ring in his hand and thinks. "it's probably just a … a thing. something to remember him." later he snaps a picture of it on his hand and sends it.

c: [left me a surprise huh?]

[it's pretty. i like it]

[thanks <3]

he doesn't expect much in the way of a response but he did get a reply

s: [reminded me of you]

there's nothing else after that and Caelus feels a jolt of nervousness, wondering what's up. he tries to prod with humor

c: [careful, koski. you're getting dangerously close to sentimental~] a tilde to ensure the mood got through

it's a few minutes before he gets a reply. when calls reads it, he wonders if sampo has been writing and rewriting the text. it doesn't sound much like him

s: [i think i fell over that cliff a long time ago]

Caelus feels his breath catch in his throat- a heavy warm feeling collecting in his chest. they were never for talking about feelings. at least not honestly. sampo's dramatic declarations were mostly that- dramatics… but, maybe they hadn't been all bluster after all? Sampo's response hadn't been couched in poetic language. Even through text, it sounded like it had been muttered quietly, something he was terrified to admit out loud but unable to keep in any longer.

caelus swallows against the dread of the unknown and calls him instead. counts the rings. sampo picks up on the third ring.

“hey.”

“hi.” caelus wonders at the quiet, single syllable greeting. “you still on the Luofa?”

“mm. thought i’d get a …little drink before turning in for the night. skiff leaves in the morning.”

“is it any good?”

“finest plum wine on the entire Luofa~”

caelus chuckles. “that doesn’t tell me if it’s good.”

there’s a long moment of quiet. “i’ve been a bit… preoccupied. more interesting thoughts to hold my attention.”

“mm.” caelus leaned back on the bed and stared at the ceiling. “feel like sharing?” after a moment of quiet on the other side, he added, “anything to do with the ring you left me?”

“everything to do with it,” sampo whispered.

curled up in bed with the phone pressed to his ear, it felt like sampo was right next to him. caelus waited.

"my plans haven’t changed. you’ve got your work to do and i have mine. our paths are diverging.” sampo stares deeply into the crystal glass of plum wine without seeing it. “and it’s killing me to let go.” the slight break in sampo's voice nearly broke his heart. smooth-talking sampo koski didn't falter or stammer… unless the truth was that painful to tell.

“do we have to?” caelus whispered.

“we should.” that wasn’t a yes. that was the answer of a man who wanted anything but the path he was on.

“where are you?” caelus said suddenly. he pulled himself off the bed and shrugged on his jacket. “gilded frog by the jetty?” He saw the plum wine advertised when he and March and Dan Heng had wandered past that afternoon with snacks in hand.

“don’t,” sampo whispered, lowering his head to his hand. “that’s just going to make this so much harder.”

“you didn’t say we had to, just that we should,” caelus argued, taking off down the hall at a run now, dodging the night maid and skidding around the corner once outside. He waved apologetically at the person he dodged around and kept going. the frog wasn’t too far from their hotel after all and he was the second fastest of their little team. “i don’t want to let go either,” he said breathlessly. “wait for me.”

“cae-”

“please.”

the bartender’s head snapped up as someone burst into the little tavern, panting, phone still pressed to his ear. Sampo turned around, his own phone still at his ear, and locked eyes with Caelus. Caelus grinned and put the phone away, striding across the rest of the place towards the bar.

Sampo sighed, gave him a weary, tipsy smile, and put the phone away. This was only going to hurt a thousand times worse at the end, but seeing Caelus again now, that impending pain seemed light-years away. When they’d met, he would never have thought in a million years that this surly, grouchy-looking little punk harbored a smile like that.

It weakened his heart.

"Cae…" Caelus strode up to him, grabbed his face and pulled him into a deep kiss.

Just like that, whole again. Everything missing had returned. Sampo wound his arms around Caelus' waist and hugged him tightly.

[redroseinsanity]

Daisuga Week 2024 Day 1

Prompts used - Historical/Royalty/And if I'm not the love of your life, confuse me with him

Sugawara Koushi was Sawamura Daichi's best friend.

He was Daichi's confidant, his liege, the one he had sworn on his life and to himself in private to protect no matter what came.

He was Daichi's favourite person, the love of his life, his prince (and the only one that mattered as far as Daichi was concerned).

But Koushi wasn't his.

No, Sugawara Koushi belonged to the royal family, first and foremost.

He belonged to the people, and they were happy to belong to him, Daichi could see it in their faces when Koushi made trips out to visit them.

And he belonged to his fiance. Not to Daichi.

"Keep up, Sawamura!" Koushi hollered as he galloped past, his silver hair flying in the wind and his hazel eyes bright with glee.

Daichi didn't point out that he had been ahead and that Koushi had only just caught up.

Instead, he urged his own horse into a gallop and kept pace with his prince.

In front of others, Koushi was a paragon of grace, demure and gentle.

But when there was no one else around, Koushi was like this.

Laughing freely, the sound trailing behind him, hair tousled and with a leaf in it, his expression mischievous and unguarded.

Perhaps, Daichi thought as his chest constricted, this side of Koushi could be called his.

And it would be enough.

"The wedding is in a few months," Koushi's voice was light.

They had stopped to give the horses a break and were sprawled under the canopy of a flowering tree.

Or at least, Koushi was sprawling and Daichi was standing guard.

"It is," Daichi kept his voice equally light, focusing on finding a blossom that was perfect.

"Is that it?" Koushi demanded, sitting up, "Is that all you will say?"

Daichi turned and knelt, their faces inches apart.

He studied the gorgeous hazel eyes that were not his to gaze into, the beauty mark that was not his to press a kiss on, the lips that were not his to claim.

Then he tucked a white flower behind Koushi's ear, smoothening silky argon strands as he did, relishing the way they slid from his fingers.

"That is all I should say," He told Koushi quietly.

Koushi made a noise of frustration.

"You have your path and I have mine," Daichi added.

"Oh really, your path is to watch me marry someone else? Find love and happiness with someone who is not you?" Koushi asked acidly.

A sword to the gut would likely be less painful than this.

No, he wanted to say, choose me. Love me. Let me be the love of your life, the only one for you.

"My path is you," Is all he managed to say.

Koushi's eyes softened, any remaining vitriol draining quickly out.

"Then tell me, why can my path not be you as well?" He asked, his voice so low that it was barely a whisper.

Loosely interconnected snippets for a story strung together over seven days! (If I can make it) You can read the next part in Day 2 of @daisugaweek2024

[eryingsfate]

Back on my Ichiby bs! Thought i'd take a lil detour and give the amnesia au a break before all hell breaks loose. So instead I'll throw out a lil secret relationship, modern au!

Information

Koby-sophomore, rotc kid, poor asf and lives with Alvida.

Ichiji-junior, rich kid, fairly popular, him and his siblings are like idols bc their dad has money. (Stereotyping is so fun)

Sanji went through more mental abuse rather than physical due to laws and media appearances. Sora still died, having gotten sick after having the quadruplets. Judge wanted his kids to become immoral scientists that work under him, and Sora hadn't liked that so she instead tried to run away but failed.

This isn't a full blown au i'm writing out, but just a lil extensive idea with a skeleton.

Koby and Ichiji have been dating for about a year, having meet and gotten together after being paired up for a history project. They never told anyone because Judge could react badly and they'd face a lot of judgement from their peers. (Not that Ichiji cares about that, but it's more fo Koby's sake) They often meet up while the other Vinsmoke siblings are at a party, Ichiji sneaking off to meet Koby at the park or on a rooftop somewhere. They often sit together and eat or they talk about their dreams. Ichiji secretly wants to reform his father's company and is sick of playing the perfect Vinsmoke, and Koby wants to either go into the military or become a lawyer. If they aren't talking, they sit in silence. They rarely bring up their home lives unless Alvida does something extremely bad or if Ichiji catches a glimpse of Sanji in the city. Eventually at one of Helmeppo's parties, Ichiji and Koby get caught making out by some of the school gossips and it all goes downhill from there. Judge disowns Ichiji, but Zeff adopts him so Ichiji and Sanji reconcile. Alvida doesn't really care so there's no change with Koby.

ORRRRR

5+1 AUUUUUU

5 times Ichiby almost get caught + 1 Time they do! I love these kinds of tropes. (warning, slight mentions of underage smut, doesn't happen tho, just teens being teens)

1st time- Ichiji and Koby are out at the mall together, in disguise obviously, and they nearly run into the strawhat crew, who are essentially just close friends here. Koby and Luffy are fairly good friends, which almost gets them caught. Meanwhile Ichiji can tell Sanji is onto him as they narrowly escape.

2nd time- Ichiji meet up behind the school to eat lunch together, but nearly get caught because some girl and guy came around, que nsfw scare for Ichiby, but a confession was about to happen. They have to hide very quietly behind a bush. The girl gets rejected and runs off, and the guy sighs and says he's gay. Once they're gone Ichiji and Koby come out from behind the bushes and laugh.

3rd time- Ichiji and Koby were supposed to be doing homework and got caught up kissing and cuddling when Alvida gets home. They don't hear her come in and don't realize she's there until Alvida bangs on Koby's door and tells him to do the dishes. They jump apart and Koby yells out an apology while quickly trying to look less someone who was just kissing their boyfriend. Ichiji on the other hand groans and hides his face in a pillow.

4th time- Koby and Ichiji are once again hanging out at Koby's house when Koby hears a knock on the door. He opens it to see Helmeppo, Tashigi, and Hibari. Koby lets them in while he panics and tries to stall them so Ichiji can escape. Ichiji ends up going out Koby's bedroom window. When they all enter Koby's room, and get settled, Helmeppo finds a too-large-for-Koby jacket and asks who it belongs to. Koby has to spend a moment spewing out a story of how he got it at a thrift store for cheap. Later that week Koby wears the jacket to school to keep up with the story and it makes Ichiji very happy.

5th time- Koby is studying with his friends when he gets a call, the icon for the call only being a red heart. Koby flusters and steps out to take the call. Meanwhile the others speculate on who it could be. When Koby comes back they hound him with questions, which he successfully dodges.

+1 time they get caught- Ichiji and Koby had gotten bold and ended up in Ichiji's room to hang out. Ichiji was convinced his family would be out the rest of the day. His father was in France and his other siblings were out shopping for the next few hours. After a while one thing led to another and Ichiji ended up on top of Koby and they were making out. Caught up in the moment, they didn't hear the other siblings arrive home. Yonji bursts into Ichiji's room and stops dead in his tracks before yelling. Koby pushes Ichiji off of him and Ichiji starts cursing. The other two sibling come running into the room and are shocked by what they see, which is a very red Koby and panicked Ichiji, both of which look very messy at that moment. This ends in a very fun talk between siblings+Koby

BONUS- Koby is at the mall with Helmeppo and their other friends when the Vinsmoke sibs come up to them. Those who don't know the situation are slight intimidated. Ichiji mumbles a hello to Koby and kisses him, Koby flusters a bit before greeting him back, also saying hello to his boyfriend's siblings. In the wise words of Helmeppo, "What the fuck."

I will totally answer any asks abt this.

[eskawrites]

EskaWrites AO3 masterlist

now that i have well over 175k words of fic up on ao3, i think that i can no longer claim this weird obsession with stranger things is just a fleeting thing. so! here’s a lil fic masterlist for myself and for anyone else who cares

one-shots

if i ever were to lose you (i’d surely lose myself)

“No—god, I just, I don’t care, okay? Forget about everything else—forget the kids, forget Robin, they’re not important right—you’re not even listening to me!” And she’s not. Her eyes are wide and she sits frozen, staring over his shoulder. Frustration spikes. He turns to follow her gaze, to see what the hell she’s looking at— —and he sees Robin.

or, Steve speaks without thinking, but words aren't the only thing that can hurt

-

you’re the reason that i’m hanging on

Max picks at the hem of her sleeve. “Did you see the clock?” It occurs to her, distantly, that Max is seeking comfort as much as she’s offering it. Robin feels something stir in her chest, and she thinks she should say something. Do something. She thinks she would normally know what. Now, she just doesn’t.

or, the obligatory Robin gets Vecna'd fic

-

the fallen leaves tell a story

"Say one day a Tarnished does take the throne. Say that you do. The smaller corners of the world will mean nothing to you, then, and neither will I.” “That doesn’t bother you?” “Why should it? I cannot change it, and it hardly affects me.” Nancy studies her for a long moment. “What’s your name?” “Robin,” says the woman. Nancy looks her over. Bright blue eyes. Freckles painted over her cheeks. Warm firelight making her glow. Robin.

or, the Elden Ring au that literally nobody asked for

-

May Chaos Take the World

She wonders, looking over the empty ruins of the village, if it’s worth it. If anything in this wretched world has ever been worth it.

Robin is.

Nancy calls her to the grace, her hands empty, no strength to give or to gain, and yet Robin comes anyway. She kneels beside Nancy, keeping her space but smiling at her all the same.

“What do you wish of me?” she asks.

“Stay,” breathes Nancy.

To her delight, to her dismay, Robin does.

or, another elden ring au no one asked for

-

screaming in the dark (i howl when we’re apart)

When Eddie asked what everyone was doing on Halloween, Nancy was prepared to hate whatever he had planned. At best she’d be indifferent, sitting around with the kids because they need even teams or something. Instead, she finds herself increasingly intrigued as Eddie continues to spin his tale. It helps that Robin keeps squirming beside her—crossing and uncrossing her legs, fingers tapping or twisting with the endless energy that buzzes through her constantly—and every motion seems to put her a little bit closer to Nancy.

or, the party plays Werewolf; game or reality, Nancy doesn't like the idea of losing Robin

-

if you wanted, you could do no harm

She stops for gas at the station on the edge of town, the one that technically isn’t even in Hawkins, even though it serves as the universal indicator that you’re officially too far into rural small town America. There’s no one there as she fills the tank, no one there as she digs around the passenger seat for a road map she already knows she was stupid enough to forget, no one there when she growls under her breath and marches inside to buy one.

But when she turns around, map in her hand and a water bottle tucked beneath her arm, Robin Buckley is glaring at her.

-

love like love’s no loss

“You’re getting that look on your face again.”

“What look?”

“Your ‘I’m planning something impulsive’ look.”

She rolls her eyes.

“Nancy. Please tell me you’re not planning on going out into the freezing cold just to check on Robin.”

or, Nancy goes out into the freezing cold just to check on Robin

-

warm my bones and fill my glass

Robin finds her upstairs, in her room, curled up at the foot of the bed and staring numbly at the wall.

“Can I join you?” she asks quietly. “My character died to gnolls, so it got pretty boring pretty quick down there.”

Nancy doesn’t really nod, but she doesn’t say no, either. Robin sits down beside her, and they exist together in silence for a while.

or, Nancy doesn't have people. She only hurts them. Robin keeps showing up anyway.

-

sweetest submission, drinking it in

(smut/pwp) (posted anonymously)

Robin responded by taking Nancy’s wrists and slowly pulling them over her head. Nancy tilted her chin up as if in defiance. She could see Robin’s shadow hovering over her through the blindfold. The mattress dipped beside her, causing her to slide just slightly into Robin’s knees. Nancy sucked in a breath, part of her hoping that Robin would shift to straddle her, to use her warm weight to hold Nancy down as she— “Are you worked up already?” Robin asked, a low chuckle in her voice. - in which Nancy has a very, very good night

-

Raise Dead series

Raise Dead

(warning: major character death)

“Okay,” Jonathan cuts in. “Can one of you explain what exactly you’re talking about?” “Raise Dead is a fifth level cleric spell that allows the caster to restore life to a humanoid creature,” Dustin reels off. “Wait, El can do that?” Steve turns to El. “You can do that?” El looks scared. “I don’t know.” “We’ll never know unless we try, and El’s definitely a powerful enough caster to—” “This isn’t your stupid game,” Nancy snaps.

or, Robin dies, the group falls apart, and the kids never know when to quit

-

what could’ve been, would’ve been

It’s not all Robin’s fault, of course. Nancy doesn’t really spend that much time with them, and when she does, she usually keeps her thoughts to herself. So, despite the fact that Robin has been introduced to Hawkins’s own brand of hell now, Nancy finds that it’s easy to keep the distance between them. But there are times when Robin will lean over and whisper some sarcastic commentary for only Nancy to hear, and there are times when it will make Nancy laugh—genuinely, unexpectedly laugh. And there are times when Robin will grin at that, looking almost proud of herself.

or, the months leading up to March 1986

-

i’m with you (that’s where i’ll stay)

Robin sleeps like…well, like the dead. It unnerves Steve, who more than once has taken her hand and pressed his fingers to her pulse just to make sure she’s still there. Robin is never this still, not even in sleep. He’s long since lost count of the number of times he’s woken up to the covers pulled away and tangled around Robin, or to her legs kicking gently against his, or to her having moved from his side to the edge of the bed and back again. Robin turns, she rolls, she twists and she tangles but the one thing she never does is stay still. Asleep in the hospital bed, pale and drowning in the starch white of her gown and the bedsheets, she barely even breathes.

or, coming back to life is easier with your friends around you

-

thriving in the apocalypse series

(works listed here in timeline order, but you can go to the series page to find them in the order they were posted! it’ll make sense either way)

-

as empires crumble and cathedrals flatten (in my heart)

Robin’s eyes are heavy when they meet hers. Nancy hears an accusation in her own voice. You saw this. You knew this would happen. You didn’t stop it.

or, the author is obsessed with Nancy's visions of the end of the world

-

cast some light and you’ll be alright

Everyone else has someone. Everyone else has been caught in the aftermath. But Nancy—she pushes Jonathan toward Will, knowing he needs it more. And she puts makeup over the dark spots beneath her eyes. And she isn’t noticed by anyone.

or, nightmares in the wake of Vecna's victory

-

soldier (on better things, your heart is hung)

“Does this count as littering?” Robin asks, nodding toward the cans. Nancy rolls her eyes. “We’ll clean them up.” “Okay.” Nancy bites back her smile and pulls out her revolver. She catches the way Robin tenses, but she pretends not to notice as she looks over the weapon.

or, Nancy chooses a successor

-

i found a way (i found a way to reappear)

It’s not her conversation. It’s not her friendship. It’s not her house, or even her friend’s house. Nancy is your friend, she reminds herself. But Nancy isn’t here right now, either. And besides, Nancy has only ever been her friend at the end of the world. When there are mysteries to solve, and monsters to fight, and nightmares to talk about, Nancy is her friend. She thinks Nancy might be her friend other times, too, but it’s a theory that hasn’t been proven yet, and there’s a part of her that’s terrified of pushing her luck.

or, movie night at the Wheeler's house

-

but your hand’s wet with sweat, and your head needs a rest

Robin looks over her shoulder. She can hear the boys grumbling in the bathroom, and then a peal of laughter. She looks back at Nancy and nods. They’re okay. Nancy’s expression softens. Slowly, she sits back down, and her friends immediately absorb her in their conversation. Still, her eyes flick back up to Robin again, a small smile in her gaze.

or, 4 times Robin sticks up for the party, +1 time Nancy sticks up for Robin

-

all the comfort invested in my soul

Nancy's smile fades. “We can’t just go swimming to go swimming?” “At eight o’clock on a school night?” “School’s a joke these days anyway.” “Nancy.” Nancy frowns out the windshield. “It’s…stupid.” “Try me.”

or, Nancy faces a fear with Robin at her side

-

breakfast for dinner

“What are you two up to tonight?” “Probably just heading home,” Max says with a shrug. El shifts beside her, a small frown pulling at her features. Robin twirls her keys around her finger, thinking. “Are you interested in a little field trip? I gotta get groceries on my way home.”

or, girls' night with Robin and Max and El

-

made a family from people you found

“Will,” she says softly, then waits for him to look up at her again. “Do you want to tell me more, or do you want me to talk?” He looks torn between fleeing and crying. “I don’t—I don’t know how to talk about it.”

or, the Will and Robin coming out scene we deserve

-

i don’t wanna live like this (but i don’t wanna die)

She’s not stupid. She knows it happens. Has spent too many late nights in Hawkins’s library poring over the books and newspaper clippings everyone else steers clear of to not know that it happens.

It just…doesn’t happen here.

Stupid, she thinks. Of course it happens here. If supernatural monsters can run rampant in Hawkins, homophobic killers can exist in the next town over.

or, sometimes, Robin still feels so alone

-

when love became an act of defiance

Robin doesn’t know what’s worse: being on patrol when they run into something, or knowing that she could very well sleep through disaster on someone else’s night. Going with Steve makes it easier, but going with one of the kids makes it harder. Tonight, with Steve driving them to the trailer park and Will sitting in the backseat, Robin feels like she’s one bad scare away from losing her mind.

or, Robin finally snaps

-

i looked around in a blood-soaked gown

She hasn’t been in the running for valedictorian since sophomore year, and there’s no way anyone in Hawkins High would vote her for class president, but somehow her mother was still delusional enough to expect some incredible achievement from her once graduation rolled around. I’m alive, Robin thinks. How’s that for an achievement?

or, the Hawkins High School Graduation Ceremony, 1986

-

even in darkness i’m smiling (i know that fear is a good thing)

Back in the car, Max flips her knife open and shut, open and shut. “I want a flamethrower,” she says. “You want to give Steve a heart attack?” Robin asks. Max catches her gaze in the rear view mirror and grins.

or, Nancy, Robin, and Max patrol Hawkins late at night

-

love will not break your heart

Robin's been so full of anger lately, of fear, of all these emotions that Nancy sees like a reflection, and others, feelings she doesn’t quite understand, but wants to ease the burden of all the same. And Steve has been fretting over Robin the last couple of weeks. Of course he would do something nice for her like this. But it doesn’t make sense for them to not tell anyone they were going.

And there it is, the fifth red flag: Steve lied.

or, Nancy gets the answer to a months-long question

-

paint me in trust, i’ll be your best friend

Robin is avoiding her.

Well, no—that sounds drastic. Robin still smiles when she sees Nancy walk into a room. She still laughs whenever Nancy says something sarcastic or rolls her eyes at one of the kids. She even makes sure Nancy knows when and where movie nights are, and even votes to postpone when Nancy can’t make it to one.

But she won’t let Nancy touch her.

or, Robin Buckley, through Nancy's eyes

-

i know i may not look like much (just another screaming speck of dust)

She huffs—a sharp, frustrated exhale—and threads her fingers through her hair. She keeps her hand there, pinning the annoying strands in place, and digs her nails into her scalp angrily. Nancy has been angry a lot lately.

or, Nancy Wheeler deserves to rage

-

let’s hope it’s a good one, without any fear

Nancy is supposed to be back in town after months away, a week full of finals in the books, already thinking about next semester’s schedule and her plan to get more articles published in the paper. Instead, she’s spent the last few months patrolling the woods and falling in love.

or, a cozy night around the fire

-

celebrity fake dating au

this story that we found ourselves in

(warning: misogyny and sexual harassment, substance abuse, addiction)

Three days later, they find a magazine on their doorstep. Steve flips it open to a picture of him kissing her cheek beneath tall, bold letters:

FANTASY ROMANCE ALIVE AND WELL

Stuck to the page is a crinkled post-it note and Jonathan’s handwriting: thanks for the tip—wishing you both the best.

Robin sinks into the kitchen chair. It’s official. She’s in a relationship with Steve Harrington.

or, the Robin-centric celebrity fake dating au

-

now i am a heart with a head on my shoulders

“Look, I…” Max pauses. She tilts her head back, looking up at the ceiling as if searching for something, then drops it again and levels her gaze—surprisingly bright, full of a fire that she’s never been on the direct receiving end of—at Nancy. “I want to be a little better about this than I was with Steve, but I think we still need to talk.” Nancy’s thoughts race, then freeze. Her heart sinks a little. “Oh.”

or, Max and Nancy have a talk

-

our hearts know deeper seasons than our memories

“I love you.” Robin keeps breathing. It’s not loud, but it’s so much more than what she’s grown used to. Her apartment has been mostly silent since May. It’s been empty since Mike stormed in a few weeks ago, the magazine with Robin’s interview rolled up in his hand, only to find her sitting at the kitchen table with tears in her eyes, already reading it. Nancy has been so alone for so long—was ready to be alone forever in penance for what she did. But she’s not. Robin is here, somehow, despite all the times Nancy pushed her away or let her go. “I’m so in love with you, Robin Buckley.”

or, the celebrity fake dating au, Nancy's POV

-

flayed!robin au

the devil’s after both of us

“Robin?” Steve asks, still trying to approach her. Robin shakes her head. She’s so pale. A bead of sweat trails down from her hairline. There’s a cruel light in her eyes that Nancy has never seen before—has never even thought Robin capable of.

Because Robin’s eyes aren’t cruel. They’re warm, and usually crinkled in a smile, or at least some level of mischief. Even when she’s angry, her eyes are bright, not dull and cold like they are now.

They’re also, Nancy realizes, usually blue. But now they’re dark, too dark, nearly black.

Nancy is so, so stupid.

or, the flayed!robin au

-

karen gets vecna’d au

you’re not much, goodness knows

“It’s about your mother.”

“What’s wrong with her?” Nancy asks sharply.

But she knows. As Powell sighs again, looking helplessly down at his feet for an explanation he doesn’t have, she knows. As Steve looks anxiously between them—as behind her, Max peeks around the corner and starts walking closer—she knows.

or, the Karen gets vecna'd fic

-

lethal company au

degenerate stars (you’re in deep)

(warning: major character death)

The Company doesn’t hire people for their brains. From what little Nancy could gather in her research before applying, the Company doesn’t pay too much to who they hire at all. Bodies are bodies. And though records are suspiciously sparse, she has a feeling the bodies pile up fast.

So, as annoying as Dustin is over the radio, he stays on the ship. Nancy looks Robin and Steve over quickly, hoping they can handle themselves out in the field. At least for as long as Nancy needs to get to the bottom of this.

or, the Lethal Company au

[i-write-boop-spoops]

Dating Steven Stone in college! headcanons

zoinks! crawling out of the hell hole that is college to post some cute stuff about college (well mostly about stevie but anyways)

no warnings, just cute slice of life stuff :)

Enjoy!

Ah yes

Steven Stone

The somewhat eccentric, very handsome geology major, profficent battler and Devon heir

And you

His cute, frazzled, always fretting over assignments, s. o.

You two have a very sweet relationship

It’s actually Steven’s first – and he is so earnest and soft about it

Meeting up for coffee after class

Missing your next one since you’re enjoying each other’s company so much

Spending late nights working on assignments

Or singing your hearts out at karaoke night at the student’s bar

Sitting quietly next to each other in the library, studying away

Holding hands under the table <3

He doesn’t live in the dorms

Instead he stays just off campus, in a quaint apartment he shares with Wallace

(At least his room is, Wallace is a whole other story haha)

But Steven, as you learn, is far less austencacious and showy than his elite peers

He dresses better than 99% of the professors

You know it’s getting cold when he cracks out the sweater vests

(Which he wears all of three days since Hoenn is so tepid lol)

Often, you find yourselves just blabbering on about cool things you learn/do in your classes, while the other listens patiently, absolutely in love

Literally you’ve given each other powerpoint presentations on yout favourite topics

His notes are immacula

Even if you share 0 classes, you love reading over his notes since they are so aesthetically pleasing

He uses gel pens!!! The sparkly ones!!!

The typical student, my man lives off pot noodles and take-out

I mean, he can afford the fancy, actually good-for-you take-out, but my point still stands

He’ll never let you go hungry, that’s for sure

Not only is he a member of the sailing club

He's the captain

Don’t worry if you haven’t before – he’s a great teacher

Or battling, which is quite a common activity on campus

You think his Metang is pretty close to evolving!

Steven is always buying things for you

Textbooks, lunch, clothes, cute stationary, whatever

You, are broke

But you still do your best to give thanks to him

Like making him food, helping him study, getting him snacks

You got him a littleplush Drillbur keyring for his bag and he loves it!

He likes to give it lil squeezes

Is there a break coming up? Classes cancelled on Monday?

Steven’s offering to take you somewhere amazing!

Whether it’s his father’s mansion

Or somewhere more exotic!

Skiing in Kalos

Relaxing under the Alolan sun

Taking tea in Wyndon

Though you do end up studying a tiny bit on these trips

Things are rough if Mr. Rock Nerd himself is calling you a nerd!

Your favourite place is this cute cottage you stayed at in Mossdeep

It’s his favourite place too

(It’d make a nice home someday)

((Plenty of space for R O C K S))

You end up graduating together

Ready to see what the future holds!

You know you’re in Joseph’s good books, since the proudly-displayed, framed photo he has of Steven on his graduation day, has you in it too!

He’s talking about taking a gap year before he continues his education

Maybe taking on the Hoenn League?

You support him fully, knowing he'll do great

Great enough to be champion though? That's something you didn't expect

[rien-maz]

Everyone is asleep and I'm sitting here and can't sleep from my disturbing thoughts, so I'll write them here, maybe it's familiar to someone:

1. I just turned 18 years old and just finished school, and I'm already working. At the same time I work with thoughts that I need to earn money to provide for myself, to help my parents, to make repairs in the apartment, to pay for my studies, to pay for my wants in the form of a new phone and tablet. This is all under the fact that no one is chasing me, no one is rushing me, and I chose the way to like a damn for what? A good life? I seem to have it now not bad, but ambitions in the form of "you can live better" make me spit on my health and work, work, work and work again.

I can't sit down and watch a movie on my day off because the anxiety of "you're wasting your time", "you should try harder", "you should succeed and that's why you have to work" starts. Because of this, on my only day off, instead of sitting quietly and watching a movie I've wanted to watch for a long time, I listen to it in the background because I'm doing other things: cleaning the apartment, painting, cooking, etc.

2. For the first time, I made a choice independent of my parents' opinion and wishes. I decided to go to college to be a designer and yes, I know that in this field of fucking competition, and I am a person that if you do something better than me, then well done, you are good. No, I'm not gonna give up my favorite thing that's been with me since I was a kid. I love to draw and I will continue to do it, but the fucking anxiety will scream in my head that I'm "not good enough", that I "need to try harder".

I know it's just stupid reaching and chasing the perfect result, but I can't get rid of it. It's like if I stop working, working hard every day, I'll break down.

All that saves me from depression is constant labor. Without it, I will feel useless, a "shame" that I didn't achieve my goals and meet my expectations.

It's a fucking vicious circle when you realize you're tired, but you can't stop working, because if you stop, your life will stop on the cross you put on yourself.