#insert mother pun here

[gay-ghostwriter]

I hope Hades 2 makes Hera, like, super cunty for no reason

[deus-ex-mona]

rage is a ✨way of life✨

[tanuki-kimono]

Cw: We are going to talk here about periods, and sex education in the past. Read this note according to your own sensibilities :)

How women dealt with periods during Edo period, article by shunga enthousiast Shungirl who made a paper pad following instructions found in makura bunko 枕文庫 - ie ancient sex books illustrated with erotic ukiyoe.

One of such makura bunko is 渓斎英泉 Keisai Eisen's 閨中紀聞-枕文庫, first published in 1822. It details Chinese remedies recipes for menstrual pains and irregularities, give tips about sex, and information about menstruations and pregnancy. From a modern point of view, some beliefs are outdated, but it was then such a bestseller it went through several reeditions.

Several words were apparently in use during Edo era to designates menstrual period: keisui 経水, gekkei 月経, tsukiyaku 月水, etc.

When girls went throught their first period, their females relatives or nannies would taught them how to deal with them. One method was to use paper as sanitary products (please note people without easy access to paper probably dealt with periods differently).

__________ 御馬 paper pads

Sanitary pads, such as the one recreated above by Shungirl, were then called mima 御馬 (probably as a pun on true "mima" which were then fine horses own by noblemen, or attached to sanctuaries as mounts for gods etc) or simply ouma お馬 ("honorable" horse).

Ouma were made from inexpensive recycled paper called Asakusagami 浅草紙. Sheets were folded 8 times, tied with twisted paper strings (koyori 紙縒), and then wrapped with another layer of folded paper. It was secured once again with paper strings.

Part of the strings could be left long so to tie around the waist, or/and pad was hold into place by wearing fundoshi 褌 loincloth (which would also help prevent leaking on inner tights).

Asakusagami quality was low (it was also used as toilet paper) so paper pads had to be changed often, meaning you had to fold quite a lot of them to go through your period!

Shungirl folded the pad above following instructions found in the book 実娯教絵抄, which provided several other "models":

__________ 詰め紙 paper tampons

Another method for dealing with periods were tampon-like paper bundles which were inserted into the vagina, the 詰め紙 (tsumeshi? I am not sure of the reading).

This method may have first appeared in red-light districts (?). Beside its use for periods, prostitutes also used those tampons as method of contraception (OP has an interesting article on this subject).

By the end of Edo period and into Meiji, paper tampons were widely used even by women who were not prostitutes - despite voices branding this method as unsanitary.

__________ About girls' coming of age rites

Menarche (first period) was an important milestone for girls, and was celebrated as such via specific rites (shochō o iwau 初潮を祝). Those differed a lot from places to places, and also depended on social status.

Celebrations would concern close family, but often spread to wider community who could received for example a festive meal (sekihan 赤飯) for the occasion (some Edo era senryû poems stress how mortifying this publicity could be!).

Interestingly, some traditions were also pretty sweet: in some places, mothers would sew 3 stiches into their daughter's underskirt (koshimaki 腰巻き) as a good luck charm, hoping their periods would last only 3 days <3

Those rites were part of coming of age traditions (seijoshiki 成女式) which marked the start of a young woman adulthood. Another example is the blackening of teeth (ohaguro お歯黒) which usually started around 16-17 years old.

Celebrating menarche publicly was a way of advertising that the girl was no longer a child and would "soon" be a bride. Yet, if menarche often took place around 13-14 years old, in reality it was somehow unusual to have girls married so soon!

Before marriage, especially in non-noble/samurai families, young women often started their sexual life via flings or yobai 夜這い ("night crawling" ie pseudo-secret nighttime encounters) before any wedding actually took place.

[fatphobiabusters]

Fatphobia is so popular and normalized that you don't even need to watch fatphobic shit for YouTube to recommend it to you.

Making fatphobic shit is also so lucrative that you can get 500,000 views on a less than two minute video made by AI, meaning that you didn't even have to do the work yourself. All you have to do to get half a million views is put a picture of a fat person as the thumbnail and make the most unoriginal garbage pile of a pun that you can think of to slap on the video as a title.

And you want to know why?

You want to know why everyone and their mother loves to freely harass fat people? You want to know why this makes half a million views on a video that doesn't even meet the two minute mark?

It's because fat people are one of the only oppressed groups left who you can abuse and oppress with zero backlash. We aren't protected by anti-discrimination laws. There's a single organization that gives a damn about our oppression, and it's not even a powerful or well-known organization to people outside of the very small community of fat liberationists. You won't even be shamed on social media beyond a tiny percentage of accounts like this blog. I can't begin to describe how many fatphobic bigots I have dealt with over the years who were people who claimed to be "progressive" and said they supported equality. So many fatphobes I have dealt with had pride flag icons and argued to me that fat people aren't oppressed because "[insert whatever other group here the fatphobe was using this time] has it worse!" Fat people have even been thrown out of the body positivity movement that WE. STARTED.

So if I can't even rely on "progressive" people who give a shit about everyone else to give a shit about me? People who claim to care about equality and all of my other oppressed identities but treat me like the dirt underneath their feet as soon I'm not "fuckable" to them? You can see pretty fucking clearly how this world has a strangling hold on fat people and refuses to let go of their last punching bag that has zero consequences for pummeling into the ground.

The world knows that you will endure consequences (legal, financial, and/or social) for being bigoted against any oppressed group with a mainstream activism movement, so that's why conservatives and progressives alike wipe their brow in relief that there's at least one group they know is okay to harm as much as they want without having to worry of backlash.

And for the people who never developed their reading comprehension skills, no where did I say that other oppressed groups don't have it bad. No where did I say that other oppressed groups aren't still harmed today. Stop it with your bad faith takes and attempts to make this another "piss on the poor."

There's a major difference between what I endure as a fat person and what I endure for my plethora of other oppressed identities. If you discriminate against me for being gay, there's anti-discrimination laws and policies. There's financial losses to your business by the people who will boycott you. There's loss of reputation. There's loss of relationships, social status, and trust. People have even lost their jobs for being homophobic. It's not perfect, but it's far from lacking consequences.

But when I'm discriminated against for being fat? All those people who supposedly cared about me for being gay are not only silent when I'm discriminated against for my fatness, they often actively support the fatphobia I faced.

That is the fucking difference.

-Mod Worthy

[itsevanffs]

insert pun about ABBA here

M | 1.6k | WIP | Chose Not To Warn

Tags: Mamma Mia Au, Modern With Magic, Infidelity, Hurt/Comfort

Summary:

Harry's getting married to the love of his life, and eager to connect with his late mother's memory, he invites all three men his mother's journals mentioned could be his father: James Potter, Sirius Black and Tom Riddle.

[heartbeatan]

The Art of Revenge (Chapter 1)

Return to Table of Contents.

Return to Jungkook Fanfictions.

Return to One Nights Series.

Return to Masterlist.

Chapter 1

You were healthily addicted to your cell phone, the way most twenty-first centuriers were. It offered you safety, connection, entertainment, news, directions, and food delivery. You lived a pretty happy digital life. You avoided the toxic corners of social media, successfully skirted wasting money on fad product trends (well… success is a relative term…) and spent most of your time smiling at the hilarious memes posted by friends, rolling your eyes at your step-mother and future-mother-in-laws aggressive “wedding suggestions” emails, and squealing at the romantic and occasionally naughty texts from your fiancé.

Today, however, as you looked down at the black, cracked screen - your thumb hovering over the lock button - your pink-cased smartphone more so resembled a ticking time bomb, rather than a miniature computer.

You had turned the sounds and vibrations off days ago. The endless stream of notifications and phone calls since “it happened” had frayed your patience and your nerves. You couldn't stand to hear another “I’m here for you!” or “I’m sorry!” or “You should [insert unprompted advice]” without wanting to vomit. The only reason why you wanted to vomit was because the alternative was going to cost you several court appearances for attempted murder, vandalism, and arson - and you were reasonable enough to know that the bastards who already ruined your life weren’t worth ruining your future.

But, since vomiting only seemed like a self-punishing form of anger - and that didn’t seem fair either - you decided that you could channel your hate for the world in other ways.

That brought you to this moment: parked along the shoulder of a two-lane highway, flanked by old, tall trees, hours away from your civilization, staring down at your phone as you decided which crisis you were going to address first when you finally unlocked the screen.

You pressed your thumb and the screen lit up, prompting you for a password. You scrunched your nose as the lockscreen notification indicated that you had received another slew of text messages, notifications, emails and missed phone calls. A wiser person would have started blocking numbers and addresses - but you weren’t wiser… you were vindictive… and thus, you needed those numbers unblocked so that you could execute your plan accordingly.

You punched in your passcode, and immediately scoffed as you came face to face with your wallpaper. It was an engagement photo of you and your fiancé, hugging each other tightly, and beaming into the photo lens with bright smiles. Of all the photos that had been taken that session, this one wasn’t the best of the lot. The sun was hot and painfully bright, meaning neither of you could see. In fact, tears from trying to keep your eyes open had streaked your mascara. Chris - your fiancé - had also begun to sweat beneath his dress shirt, and the wind blew both your perfectly coiffed hairstyles out of place. But you remembered vividly how happy you had been when that photo was taken. Chris had made some ridiculous joke about life being about “as good as it sweats”, and although his puns were usually met with jeers and boos, you couldn’t help but fall into a fit of laughter. Life with him was always a bit corny, but fun as hell. He held you tight against him, and you pressed your cheeks together as you laughed stupidly towards the photographer.

You should have changed your wallpaper the moment you walked in on Chris, your fiancé, fucking your Maid of Honour, Stephanie. But you decided that, for now, you needed to be reminded of his face. You needed to remember why you were putting an obscenely high number of miles on your car. You needed the anger to flush your system and strip you of all trepidation. You needed your inhibitions gone, so you felt no remorse about fucking the man whom Stephanie called “the love of her life.”

Perhaps, we should back up…

Stephanie and yourself had been inseparable since middle school. She was your best friend, and you had remained loyaly at each other’s side through the chaos and mess of your formative years. University was the only thing that pulled you two apart - but, despite the time zone difference between your respective schools, you stayed in touch. That was when you first heard about Jeon Jungkook.

Jungkook and Stephanie were in the same dormitories, shared friends, and even took the occasional class together. She was completely enamored by him from the very first moment they met. You remembered the phone call she made to you that very first day of school, and how brightly you smiled from the other end of the phone as she recounted how she had just met “the love of her life.” You were happy for her, and admittedly a bit jealous that her first college experience had been so monumentally more exceptional than yours. You considered yourself to be a social person, but your first week out of your small town, on the heels of breaking up with your highschool boyfriend, and amidst the bustle of a large, University City, you were feeling like a fish out of water, and worried about finding your place there. Fortunately, your fears were misplaced. You quickly established a core group of friends, and spent the next four years bonding, growing, learning, and partying like a rockstar. By the end of your undergrad, you couldn’t even remember the person you were before you had gone to school. Yet, Stephanie and yourself had still managed to stay close - even visiting each others’ campuses on occasion. That was how you met Jeon Jungkook.

The first time you saw him was at a small pre-drink gathering in Stephanie’s room. She, of course, wanted to take you out on the town and show you a good time. Show off the fabulous life she had cultivated for herself. You were looking forward to meeting him. By the way Stephanie had described Jungkook and their time together, you had assumed that something was happening between them… if they weren’t already in a relationship she hadn’t yet disclosed to you. But when you got there, you quickly became of the suspicion that the life long love Stephanie had found was likely one sided on her part. You empathized with her. You weren’t exactly the best at handling unrequited feelings - you had already gone through a bout of them with your own fellow classmate and temporary fuck buddy. Whereas you dealt with those feelings by talking them out with a pint of ice cream, Stephanie coped with denial and delusion. You wondered how she put up with it for so long. Your friend was beautiful, charming and, by the way the boys of her school tripped over themselves when they were around her, you were sure she could have easily found real, two-way love with the snap of her perfectly self-manicured nails. You wondered who the hell this Jungkook guy was, and what kind of asshole he could have been to not only have this hold over her, but also the audacity to reject her.

But the moment he walked into the party… you understood. He made your heart instantly thump, your mind whip through a reel of fantasies, and your nether regions pulse. He was gorgeous beyond belief. Thick ebony hair, a loose, black t-shirt that somehow was tight over his broad chest, an array of dainty tattoos dancing their way up his muscular arms, and a strong, squared jaw that emphasized both his boyish and masculine features. There was something insouciant about how he walked into a room, and the way he casually scanned the space around him. His dark and brooding aura instantly made you desperate for his attention.

You felt guilty for being even remotely attracted to him - but that guilt also made you completely understand your best friend's misleading banter. If you had to see that man everyday, you too would need to find a way to cope beyond the abilities of frozen sugar.

You met him a few times over the college years, and even several times afterwards, since Stephanie’s friend group stayed relatively in touch and she often invited you along. Jungkook and yourself, however, hadn’t shared many words between you throughout all those occasions. Whenever you were around, he didn’t talk often to Stephanie either, and you questioned if it was because of you, and that he didn’t like you very much. But, of the few times you did speak, he was cordial, still insouciant, and generally a decent person. You could easily describe him as an “artist.” A flower child with the air of James Dean. He had started his own graphic design business and was in high demand; he toured every summer with his indie-rock band; he made decent bank on paintings, photographs and graphic prints which he sold online; and, just because of course he could, also ran a tattoo and piercing salon out of his house.

You had only been to his home once. He had invited his college friends up for a long weekend, and you, of course, tagged along. You didn’t get much of a look inside his home, aside from the bathroom off the mudroom. The home was in the middle of the woods and had the outside appearance of a luxury cabin, but there certainly wasn’t enough room inside for all of you to sleep - so you stayed in tents sprawled across the lawn.

That was the weekend you met Chris. Stephanie had actually set up the meet-cute. He was the brother of one of Stephanie’s friend’s whom she had met once or twice - an unfortunate detail that would become relevant later.

That weekend, it felt as if all the stars were finally aligning. Chris and you clicked immediately, and you unashamedly spent the next four days attached at the hip, and those three total nights “sleeping” in his tent. Stephanie seemed to be finally getting what she wanted as well. She was at Jungkook’s side at every opportunity, and from behind your rose coloured glasses, you were sure something was finally going to happen between them.

Unfortunately, your newly love-drunk perspective was far from correct. Stephanie was in a foul mood the whole drive home. Apparently, she had finally mustered up enough courage to tell Jungkook that she loved him, and he had coldly shut down her advances. She even cried at one point, and you comforted her by dutifully calling him a blind asshole, and declaring that she deserved so much more than him.

After that trip, two years passed, and you were deeply in love with Chris, and Stephanie seemed to get over her Jungkook heartbreak. She respectfully got over him by getting under other lovers. The problem, however, was when she got under Chris. There weren’t many pertinent details to that revelation. You came home one day early from work, saw Stephanie’s car in your driveway and assumed she had been by to drop off a dress of yours she had borrowed for your bridal shower. When you stepped into the house, instead of finding a garment bag hanging neatly at your backdoor, you found her clothes strewn about the kitchen floor, and Chris pounding her over your pristine kitchen counters.

You left without saying a thing. You ignored their terrified cries and guilty apologies. Truly, you felt nothing in that moment. Just numb. You shut off your phone, drove five towns over, and held yourself up in a hotel room.

Inside that hotel room, you experience the intensity of every stage of grief.

Denial. You hadn’t seen what you had seen. This man who told you he loved you, who treated you right, who asked you to marry him - there was no way he was cheating on you.

Anger. Stephanie - the woman who was family to you. The girl who had been with you through thick and thin, who introduced you to your fiancé, whose mortgage you paid when she lost her job and needed time to find a new one, the one who held your hand at your mother’s funeral, the way you did at her father’s… Stephanie, would have the audacity to betray you in the most intimate way possible.

Bargaining. People make mistakes. Perhaps there was a good explanation they could give you - one that could convince you that this affair could be forgiven and forgotten, and everything could return to normal before the “mistake.”

Depression. Realizing you would need to leave Chris. Knowing that you lost a friend. Thinking about just how much physical, emotional and financial labour you were about to endure to pull apart your intrinsically tangled lives.

Acceptance. You were no longer engaged. Stephanie was no longer your friend. You were alone again.

Of all the stages and feelings you went through, anger was the one that ironically made you feel the best. So, upon acceptance of your fate, you returned to the anger stage, and began scheming your payback.

Chris was a pretty easy target. You were an accountant, and he was a fool. Nearly everything you owned together was in your name, since your credit was fabulous, and his looked like he had spent his retirement savings on crypto currency the day before the big crash. Long story short, the man would be homeless, carless, and broke by the time you spoke with him again.

Stephanie was a bit of a different story. You couldn’t get to her by destroying her financial life, and frankly, her social life would bounce back easily. Regardless, that wasn’t how you wanted to get back at her. Chris destroyed your collective life together, so you made him start over in every way possible. Stephanie, however, destroyed your heart. You needed her to feel the loss of love, the stab of feeling worthless, and the sting of betrayal. You needed her to hurt. You needed to take something away from her that she loved so dearly… but the only thing she had ever truly claimed to love (aside from you) was Jungkook.

You turned your phone back on, then went to the bathroom while the millions of notifications flooded your phone. When you returned, you cleared them all with one simple swipe of your finger, then opened up your social media folder.

You hadn’t had Jungkook as a friend on any of your socials, but you also knew he wasn’t much for personal social media to begin with. Regardless, you easily tracked down his business page, but grimaced to find his private messages closed. But there was a phone number…

You looked at the clock. It was nearly midnight. There was no way he kept office hours open until now. But, he was self-employed… so perhaps the phone number was also his personal?

You hovered over the number, seesawing between calling him, or waiting to call him during normal hours, until you nearly convinced yourself to not call him at all. As your feet got colder, you moved to close the phone and toss it across the room - but just before you did, another text message popped up on your screen.

Stephanie.

You once again seesawed between finally reading their messages, or putting the phone back on mute until you were ready to face what either of them had to say. But before you could consciously decide, your finger pressed the notification and the full message popped up on the screen.

It was less than an apology. Although she did start by saying she was sorry, the remaining five paragraphs were probably the most audacious things you could have ever imagine to have read from someone who was trying to apologize for fucking your fiancé. She pointed out that she had in fact met Chris first, and that there had always been a spark. She said that she had given him to you, because she felt you deserved happiness. She said that she felt she needed to stop putting the happiness of others ahead of herself. Then, with all the narcissistic, self-deluded frenemy energy she could muster, told you that if you were a good friend, you would be happy that she had finally found someone who respected her.

You clucked your teeth, now beyond the point of anger. In that moment, years of memories flooded your thoughts. Every backhanded compliment she had ever made to you, every crush of yours she had flirted with, every moment she flaked on you for someone else. They were small moments, and they were surpassed by a mountain of great moments, but you couldn’t help but wonder if they had been signs you had always ignored. Perhaps Stephanie was an objectively bad person, and perhaps you had been too blind to see it until now. Perhaps she was one of those people whose nastiness was subtle, and you were one of those people who gave others too many benefits of the doubt. Well… if provoked… you could be nasty too…

You closed the message, opened the phone app, and pressed “call.”

“Hello?”

Your nerves instantly flared the moment he answered.

“Hey, uh, Jungkook?”

“Yes?”

“It’s Y/N.”

“Hey,” he answered, although there was a clear hint of confusion in his voice.

“Stephanie’s friend. Chris’ fiancé, ” you elaborated, although saying those words tasted like acid.

“Yeah, I know. What’s up?”

You took in a deep, audible breath as you gathered the courage to power through what you wanted to say. Your shotgun plan was to engage in some sort of small talk at first, but in the end, what you were about to suggest wasn’t worth all the discomfort of trying to pretend as if the two of you were close.

“I have a humiliating favour to ask you – and it would be completely fair of you to think I’m insane, but, I’ve already been humiliated beyond belief today, so I’m hoping you’ll at least take pity on me because there really isn’t much further to go until I hit rock bottom.”

He paused for a second, and you could sense even more confusion radiating through the phone.

“Shoot,” he responded, casually bracing himself for what you were about to ask.

“You know, Stephanie has been in love with you since college. She still calls you the love of her life.”

He sighed. “No offense, but I’m really not interested in her, and she’s known that since college. And I’m getting really tired of her ploys to convince me otherwise.”

Interesting, you thought, picking up on how his voice grated when he spoke about her.

“I’m not calling to play matchmaker, Jungkook.”

“Good to know. What can I do for you then?”

“Well… today, I walked in on her and Chris, naked in my kitchen.”

“Shit,” he exclaimed, although something in his tone implied he wasn’t particularly surprised. You skipped past that thought, given that he was fairly indifferent 99% of the time. “I’m sorry. You don’t deserve that.”

“Thanks. But I didn’t call for pity. My best friend had sex with the man I thought was the love of my life. I would like to return the favour.”

Once again, Jungkook went quiet, and even though it made your heart race and your cheeks heat, you let the silence hang so he had ample opportunity to work out exactly what you were implying. Then, with an even voice laced with intrigue, he asked, “What specifically do you want from me?”

“I want you to fuck me so God damn stupid that the next time I see her, I can’t walk straight.”

You heard a soft huff of a laugh come through the phone. But to your surprise, and to your excitement, there wasn’t much of a pause or hesitation before he gave you his answer.

“How soon can you get here?”

Go to Chapter 2.

[artbybai]

Can you tell us more about Kohi? -nudges you- What drives her? whats her backstory?

Does she work for the Frieza force? Or was she on Planet Vegeta? Is she a fighter or more a behind the scenes worker kinda gal? Her strengths and weaknesses? Her guilty pleasures and her petpeeves?

Is she one of many DB OC of yours, or more a main one?

:D ........................... :DDDDD

✨Screeches excitedly✨

Kohi Slaad

The Feisty Frieza Force Foot Soldier

Kohi Slaad, daughter of single parent Frui Slaad (pun on Fruit Salad & Coffee lol)

Kohi once worked as a botanist/ecologist on Planet Vegeta, having grown up on her family farm in the agricultural division of the Outer Colonies—the furthest from the central Saiyan city. That is, until her job was basically reduced to that of ensuring crops weren’t poisoned before being shipped off to the central city.

Afterwards, as she and her mother desperately needed more income to keep their farm afloat during hard times (and King Vegeta’s focusing of most efforts towards supporting the Frieza Force at the time, Kohi chose to reenlist as a foot soldier on the Force.

It’s there that she was eventually assigned to work under Raditz’s command/supervision/their partnership began.

Now that I have the basics of her backstory down, here’s a few more answers on who she is as a character!

🌟 First and foremost… Yeah, Baiya & Kohi are my main DB OCs (self-inserts that evolved into their own characters, but I still enjoy living vicariously through them shhh lol). There’s other OCs that I wanna bring a spotlight to, which mostly relate to Baiya’s stories I have in mind, but there’s a handful that’re important to Kohi as well (Anaba, other trainees/Privates and Cadets she worked with in the Saiyan Army Academy/Frieza Force etc.)

Kohi would answer that she’s “Happy to be wherever she’s needed”, but oftentimes prefers to work in the background. She hesitates leaping into battle, partly because she’s a little lean compared to most Saiyans, but mostly because she worries she’d become a hindrance to her fellow warriors. When she’s not doing odd jobs around the starship, she’s acting as support & providing aerial backup as a fighter pilot

Kohi’s family, the Slaads, have a tense history with the Vegeta bloodline. As such, she’s icy towards Vegeta, at best—much preferring Raditz’s company in comparison. Although Kohi’s had no part in the events of the past, she feels the crown was in the wrong for the way they once treated their subjects. She feels the Outer Colonies like her own are still suffering the effects, which explains her attitude towards the Prince. Kohi and Nappa have a fairly amicable acquaintanceship, though.

I’ve noticed this is a rather basic/common trait others have given their feminine Saiyan OCs, so I feel kinda bad abt it lol, but I imagined Kohi would have a sweet tooth, and collect rare/gourmet candies from each planet she visits. She finds it’s a great way to win a little favor with her crew mates, and this tactic can even sway Vegeta, to a degree. (She’ll give him a chocolate if he demands it, to get him off her back)

Aside from candies, and given her background as a former ecologist, I think Kohi would keep a collection of small plants from planets she’s visited. I doubt the barracks of a Frieza Force starship are particularly spacious (unless you’re a higher ranking member like Prince Vegeta, the Ginyu Force, or medical staff,) but she’s probably keep a little greenery around to brighten up the confined space she calls home!

Kohi’s sharp tongue can sometimes get her in trouble, as her banter with Raditz and other Privates/younger members of the Frieza Force can get a bit… Out of hand, when it comes to poking fun at their commanding officers. She’s likely to let her temper get away from her, too, if an authority figure demands something ridiculous of her (such as menial tasks like polishing boots, or scrubbing floors again to do it “the right way”)

Along with her rebellious streak, Kohi enjoys finding loopholes in commands given to her that involve more violent measures, such as planetary raids for rare resources. She’ll instead attempt subterfuge to obtain her given objective, if possible, playing up her weakness to hide her cunning.

When Kohi’s off-duty, however, she’s much more laid back, even a little sloppy, preferring loose clothes over her tighter armor and shorts. This has thrown Raditz for a loop more than once, LOL

Kohi will also, occasionally, visit the observation lounge after her shifts (if a starship she’s on contains one) to unwind. She’ll enjoy stargazing, and reminiscing about doing so with her mother back on Planet Vegeta as a child, sipping on a cool drink until she decides to turn in for the night cycle.

Sadly, it’s hard not to be homesick. Kohi sends letters back to her mother after each payment she receives from her services in the Force, including a bit of her funds to help support their farm on Planet Vegeta.

In a separate AU, where Kohi joins the Crusher Corps and serves under Turles instead (yes I ship them too 👉👈) I like to imagine they’d bond over said homesickness. She’d probably be one of the few women aboard his ship/as part of his crew, so she’d probably stand out to him bc of that.

I hope this answers your questions!!! I still have to flesh out Kohi quite a bit, I know, but she’s honestly just a fun character concept to explore random story ideas with :3 Maybe next time I’ll write up a bit more info on Baiya, too! Or another random OC (like Colla, Leed, my Namekian OC Timpani, some other various Saiyans I’ve come up with for the other Privates Kohi’s worked with, and a few Crusher Corps Saiyans to someday :D )

Thanks for the ask!!! THIS WAS SO FUN TO ANSWER AND INFO DUMP ASDFGHJKL ✨

[agirlwholovesspe33d]

LazyTown Headcanons 3!!

-Stephanie does know icelandic (thanks in large to her mothers, read about them here) and in one of the many ocassions she and Sportacus broke into song and sang No One's Lazy in LazyTown out of the blue (pun intended), Sportacus started singing it in icelandic thinking Stephy would do it in english and when he heard her singing it in icelandic he was like: "Oh my gosh… YES! ICELANDIC DAUGHTER!!" Robbie was nearby and heard them… "The pink cheerleader can speak icelandic?!" So, he went up to her, casually, and… *Insert "I Wanna Dance (Icelandic)" here *

At the end of that day, Sportacus, Robbie and Stephanie sang the icelandic version of the Bing Bang song, Robbie didn't admitted it, but he had a fun time that day.

Random side note headcanon: -Sportacus had a Johnny B. Badd album to which he would do his backflips and jumps routine. It got annoying after a while for his peers, so one of them hid the CD from Sportacus. He would have defintively took the CD with him to LazyTown if it wasn't taken away from him.

[mrdrhenwardhykle]

INSERT 25¢ TO CONTINUE : Into the AudoScape- Level 4: "Attack of the Talking Heads!"

Previous Next

To the common man, the evening host of the annual Thanksgiving dinner at the Silverman's flowed flawlessly. There was a slight dimming in the dining room, but the lovely warm theme to the meal was welcoming nonetheless. There were no visible quarrels. Aunts, uncles, a few cousins, and grandparents stomped off the cold frost of the winter with wide open arms welcoming the residential hosts.

Freddie usually got a pat on the back and a conversation about his football team. Allope either got a pat on the head, a smooch on the nose, or a high five from the younger relatives, and Rebecca unusually got a nod, the brief lift of a hand and tightened smile, or a simple and emotionless "hi." The three kids stuck together just out of separate reasons for keeping distance from others.

Freddie was easily exhausted of being framed as just the 'football' guy and hated having to play through the same conversations of pretending to like something he didn't. Relatives would kindly ask him what college he was planning to apply to, to which he would name off a few on his long list of research, but usually being faced with the same reply of "What? Why that one? That team is terrible".

Rebecca kept active for only a little while, but backed out as soon as she caught onto conversations about some unnamed 'distant and ungrateful freeloader,' that her aunt and uncle just couldn't stop gossiping about, other than some weird TV personality that everyone seemed to like.

As for Allope, she was sick to her stomach with the inconsistency that two girls on a commercial couldn't come close to acknowledging her existence, but the artificial man who could clip out of his own body could; even getting to the point where he could possibly see right through the screen. The time for curiosity was behind her; even the thought of walking in front of the TV was like stepping on a minefield. Too bad for Allope, the TV was on all evening,with crowding adults laughing at whatever it said when given the chance.

"Hey, Al. What's up, kiddo?" Reb bumped the kid with her elbow to pull her out of her current habit of spiraling in abstract forms of thought. Sunk deep into her chair, Allope was bursting at the seams of keeping the knowledge of another realm from all those who could listen. "GRAH!-It's that creepy guy on the TV! He's just watching me, I just know it!"

Reb just struck a look of concern while Freddie held in his laughter, "What guy, Allope?" she replied.

Allope performed her sign for the name she forgot, by making an 'm' with her fist and making a 'v' shape around her jawline. They both seemed amused at the charade, but Reb still didn't follow along. "Y'know! The one with the teeth that go-" she clicked her teeth together while making a snarling noise.

Laughter escaped from Fred as he made an attempt to cover his face, "She's talking about Max Headroom. It's these clips of a computer generated AI; basically an artificial person, like a robot. He sometimes shows up between music videos from Channel 4. Allope was sneaking around and got into some troubles with her new headset last night. She just got freaked out when she saw him on the TV right after taking the set off, that's all."

Allope glared at the opposer in the corner of her eye, lifting the brand new Max Headroom-brand dishware that their mother with 'classical taste' so happened to choose for this year. Not only that, but weighing alongside the fact that almost the only brands they chose to use for dinner had the face of Max Headroom in front of his distinctive, shifting background lines right on the cover alongside some corny pun or catchphrase here and there.

"Yeah, that is a little weird", Reb agreed without either side fully catching on to who she believed the most, "Are you kidding? It's a robot. It's programmed to say all those things to please us. Maybe if they like it so much, it's just doing its job. It's in their name, ya know? They're supposed to serve man; we have souls and a consciousness, which always puts us on the top. But even when it comes to those things; we haven't gotten close enough to replicating life like this. It's likely just some guy in a,mask or clay or something-" Freddie argued.

"A-Ah. Yes; it's always just 'my life for you,' isn't it? I mean, what else was somebody like me made for?"

The group's attention turned towards the other room. Most adults were dogpiling on the chairs and couches facing the blaringly-loud TV. The dim lights included the living room as well; however the television emitted a bright, sickly, turquoise radiance that permeated through the darkness.

"A-A-As your entertainer, I serve nothing more than to-... well-[heh]... entertain. But also-But also-But also- as your entertainer, I should serve as a source to find happiness, should I not? [hm!] Th-is holiday season  might I suggest  helping out our sponsor by beating a bop by Big Burger Bobby's; back to bring a bright and brand-new smile to yo-yo-yo-your face!

Try now their new b-butter?Buh...

[[Oh N-N-N-NO! NO! You somehow managed to mess up the teleprompter, AGAIN! DAMMIT, MARTY!-

'Don't you just know the menu'  D-D-D-Does it look like I can eat? Aha-And I tell you if I could,-I wouldn't be at some greasy low-rate-]]

[Ah-hem], sorry about the  interruption ; it looks like there's technical difficulties. Bu-but don't worry! This old gun always has  a big shot left  to  fire!  [isn't that right, Marty?]"

He looked to the right glaring and smiling passive-aggressively as the intermission closed. The adults chattered and repeated the words everyone else heard as if they didn't, and as if it was their own joke, just before walking away when a music video started to play.

"Allope," Rebecca spoke in a hushed tone as she tugged on the kid's shirt. Freddie was far enough away not to hear them, as he was still distracted by the television.

"Yes?", Allope looked up at her cousin.

"Don't doubt the impossible when it comes to that stuff. You'll wish you knew better if you do," Rebecca allowed herself to reveal a layer of honesty through her hushed tone. Allope was haunted by this sudden change, but nodded and gave a little "okay" anyways. Rebecca propped herself in her chair in a lese tense manner, "Plus, I know we can't really get rid of that box, but Fred said it can change the channels without even touching the tv, right?"

"Right-"

"Right. And then maybe it's of use to us. Just... Be careful for now-with everything. At least until we know a little more about that device, and maybe even where it came from."

The three kids had no idea what to make of the tv's response, but took this as a good sign to stray away from the TV when it was turned on. The tactic worked enough for the afternoon to follow along smoothly once again as everyone decided to return to their houses.

Sleep was never a problem for Allope before, so why would it be now? Though always feeling as if she was not getting enough rest at night, she hardly broke her dream-state; wandering in and out between vivid images of static and collaged photos shifting on a colorful pattern. She would always take naps during the day, but was still absent at night. Her dreams felt almost exactly like the virtual world, but in so many different visual qualities and styles. Minnie accompanied Allope on her exploration across the electrical patterns. The more she dreamt, the more she suddenly learned about her set in real time; even to the point of noticing buttons and switches on her set that she had not noticed before. She at least assumed that these recurring situations were all a fantasy, as she felt like she was somebody much different. She was taller, a little braver, and broke the laws of physics by clipping through as many walls as she could. Unlike her real controls, in her dreams she could go blocks away from her house without climbing down the stairs or even opening a door; it was all through the lightbulb to her Rainbow Brite and Twink shooting-star-themed lamp.

Each dream, though different in location and adventure, would all end with her staring into a lone reflection left into a dark abyss, gazing upon the disfigured and indecisive face of somebody or something else; some nights appearing clearer than others. Allope had no clue of what it meant, but always took note of how odd it felt; as if she died and took the place of somebody from another planet-or even universe! But when she woke up, it always felt as if she was absent from her original state of skin and bones; as if she was resurrected. These dreams cost Allope sleep; daily dragging herself everywhere with one eye pried open more than the other. This feeling of fatigue wasn't natural in the slightest; it weighed like an anchor with the feeling as if her soul was being cut and broken away into little pieces like a pie. Each slice of energy was borrowed rather than eaten up, and would come back briefly in the evening.

Her mother attempted to drag her into shopping in the upper level of the mall during Black Friday. Allope stayed awake by focusing on little things like only jumping on the colored diamond-shaped floor tiles, attempting to make a tune out of the soft echoing speakers, as well as involving herself to whatever the elongated screens stuck onto the walls beneath and between the crosswalks on the upper floor said.

"Hello fellow foodologists, Nation-Wide trusted spokesman, Ma-Ma-Ma-Max Headroom here to inform you the importance of your child-child-child-child's  fundamental brain-development . Creativity. We can all agree that CREATIVITY is an important factor in your kid's transition to adulthood. Bu-u-u-u-u–u-u-u-u-ut answer me this; how-how-how-how can your child or a fine adult such as yourself be confined to the horribly bleak concept of minimalism? So why waste your time by  EXPOSING  you and your children to the con-con-con-con-confinement of boring circles and shapes in their everyday junk food, when they could have the wide open world of cheese crackers in the shape of ASTONISHING HISTORICAL ICONS [such as yours truly]  [hah~]  Buy now for the greater good [[unless you wish to doom your child to the latter]] Starting at the low-low price of only  $9.99  at your local food stores and outlets!"

Allope shrieked loudly, while maintaining eye contact with the disturbing computer man. She tried to run while dragging her mom behind. Her mother stood her ground to stop Allope, tugging her hand; "Allope, what is it, sweetheart? Do you see something you want?"

Allope tucked in her lips and widened her eyes; scanning each shop for an excuse to change their surroundings. A sparkling glimmer of starlight, sprinkles, rainbow, and forgotten children's hopes and dreams filled the coloring of her eyes when taking in the glorious view of a toy store with an endless shelf line of the brand-new 'Advanced' Limby Friends. "What are you looking at, Allope?" her mother asked.

"My Christmas list," she replied.

She barreled into the store with her mother following closely behind. To her relief, the enemy likely didn't catch sight of her presence. 

[raining-anonymously]

Hi hello can I hear your deltarune swap au it sounds very interesting! (also kitten seam is something I didn't know I needed in life)

anon i am [insert phrase with the same sentiment as “kissing you on the mouth” but without the weird connotations]. also everyone needs kitten seam

all right so here’s the basis for those of you who didn’t see the first post:

this is yet another deltarune swap au. i’ve decided to call it “mage from the dark” since the first characters i sketched out in it were seam and ralsei (who are swapped).

seam is a young plush cat (kitten) who lives a lonely life of wishing to be loved like plushies are supposed to be. sure, seam finds ways to pass the time—knitting, sewing, crocheting, collecting things, making tea, practicing magic, failing to learn how to grill—but it’s a dull life. then, finally, the other heroes of light arrive in ruintown: a warrior and a boss monster.

undyne, the warrior, was once eager to prove herself, but has spent her whole life unintentionally intimidating the people she was trying to impress. as a result, she’s embraced this persona, getting into fights and trouble, and often assuming a hostile front. coming face to face with the same childhood friend who abandoned her when something better came along doesn’t help matters, especially since she’s living the comfortable life undyne secretly wishes for. but a part of her still longs to be a hero like in the comic books of deceased writer w.d. gaster…

toriel, the boss monster, is the daughter of schoolteacher mx. kris dreemurr. she’s faced a lot of scorn for being raised by a human (since everyone’s too scared to say that stuff to mx. dreemurr’s face). she found solace in puns, and in her uncle asriel, who she was very close with from their unique shared circumstance of being a boss monster with a human family member. however, kris and asriel had a falling out a couple years back, and he moved out of their house, now working and living in his videogame shop. at least she still has her partner, asgore—but ever since he left for college, toriel’s started to wonder if it’s meant to be. isolated from her peers and doubting her relationships, toriel wished there was someone to tell her what to do, and, well...

it didn’t go as planned.

that’s the main trio, plus hints at some of the others! here’s some other swaps:

the rest of the class is alphys (noelle), mettaton (berdly), papyrus (jockington), carol (mk), sans (catti), maddy (snowy), and napstablook (temmie). there are actual reasons for these decisions, which i will share if pressed.

rudy is swapped with chara, alphys’s godparent and azzy’s best friend, who’s currently in the hospital after a childhood sickness came back.

dess is swapped with goner kid. they’re alphys’s auncle, who disappeared when she was a kid. (this is reminding me how messed up canon noelle’s life is.)

the castle kingdom was once ruled by ralsei, benevolent prince, but after the lightners abandoned the world, he felt he had failed his subjects and stepped down, instead working as an advisor to the new rulers. these were clover, starwalker, mr. society, and jigsaw joe, so as to represent four of the main residents of the kingdom: cards, stickers, chess pieces, and puzzles. (the other groups wisely chose to stay out of the politics.) the starwalker later adopted a ward, after no one wanted to claim a suitless card, who was a young jester named jevil. at first, starwalker attempted to bond with the boy, but its grumpy nature and general lack of motivation made it a somewhat neglectful parent, often handing jevil off to tutorial-maker queen. queen knew what it was to not fit in; although she’d formed an alliance with cards from the spades suit, she never truly belonged among the toys, considering she was a laptop (albeit with child restrictions set on her). as a result, queen tried to be a good mother figure to jevil, and the fact that it got her in the starwalker’s good graces didn’t hurt either—she was always eager to please others.

ralsei didn’t particularly mind his new role—he had a new friend now, after all. lancer, the jack of spades, was hired by clover to be the court party planner, and was known for his salsa, beanies, and hole-digging skills. but after a strange old turtle appeared on the horizon, lancer and ralsei began to drift apart. lancer stopped pestering ralsei to come on motorcycle rides, and to his surprise, ralsei missed those days, terrifying as they had been. and then lancer began to change. his humor got darker yet darker, his pranks became less harmless, his magic grew stronger. then, suddenly, he was back in ralsei’s life like he’d never left—telling him about a new "evil plan.” but unlike previous such plans, this one was frightening and unsettling. lancer spoke of a plan to create a world without a purpose, where everything was meaningless, and then, one day, to suddenly end it all. at first, ralsei laughed it off, but the more lancer spoke of this plan, the more ralsei’s anxiety grew, and the more he suspected his friend wasn’t joking. 

and then it got worse.

it really shouldn’t have come as a surprise when the rulers of the land ordered ralsei to lock lancer away... but it was the first time the former prince had truly regretted giving up his power. ralsei won the battle, but was devastated, and not just physically. unable to bear living at the castle any longer, he turned in his resignation and set up a small, peaceful shop, as far away as he could manage. but even so, he could never forget lancer’s words, nor the undeniable truth he had felt in them. and so, quietly, he waited for the world to end.

oh yeah, and then one day a strange knight appeared and the starwalker locked the other rulers in the dungeon and hired queen as the duchess of puzzles, despite her insistence she had no puzzlemaking programs.

meanwhile in the cybere city...

after a lightner accidentally took him away from his home, rouxls kaard has lived a vastly different life. he somehow managed to instate himself as the rouxler of the cybere worlde, because really, what is code but rules? he hired a cd player named k_k as his head butler, and speaker system sweet as his head of security, because the two of them were among the first to treat him with reverence—and to think, back home they’d never even respected him! yeah, he’d show that god damn(it) starwalker what he was made of. for a while, he was a fairly decent ruler—but after the knight came to visit, rouxls’s perspective began to change. 

of course, people had problems with this. mainly, a trio of artists: tasque manager, spamton g. spamton, and swatch, or as they liked to call themselves, tasque spam’n swatch. the three of them attempted to start a rebellion. it has decidedly not been working, but heck, they’re dedicated!

(yes, cap’n is spamton. i’m still working out the details with that—and trying to figure out what berdly’s version of neo would be.)

[unsafe-chikku]

Ok. Here’s Jester. He’s a Star Wars oc/self insert. More about him under the cut.

He grew up in a dark side cult on the fringes of the galaxy and escaped by killing his abusive cult leader/adopted father. He’s not very well trained but has an extremely useful ability- his power of short-term foresight is unmatched, making it extremely hard to fight him as he always knows your next move even better than the average force wielder.

He has a reputation of being a goofy but dangerous bounty hunter and occasionally an assassin. He picked up the clown look from a childhood book of scary stories he used to like before he ended up being sold to the cult by his bio dad ( after kidnapping him from his mother). Jester escaped not only bc he hated it there but bc he wants to find his bio dad and kill him and find out from him where his mother is.

He’s always telling jokes ranging from simple puns to incredibly dark, and is almost always smiling. He hides his true feelings and motives behind his bizarre costume and behavior, bc he doesn’t trust anybody. He wants his enemies to underestimate him until it’s too late while also finding him off putting. He has few allies, and with them he amps up his “psycho clown” persona with dark jokes and lies about things he’s never done in order to make sure they do not try to bother him or get closer.

Being from a cult he doesn’t understand a lot about the main Galaxy and when no one is around he does a lot of reading to learn more and genuinely likes to explore the planets he ends up on for jobs, if he’s alone.

However, as a dark side user he’s becoming more corrupted the more he uses it in battle. It makes his mood swings way worse and makes him have violent urges. He’s aware that using “The Power” ( he doesn’t know about the Force for a while or that it’s got sides) is making him act more like his adopted dad that he murdered and he hates that, but he also feels very dependent on it.

Once the clone wars start it becomes much harder for a dark side aligned clown like individual using a lightsaber to stay under the radar, and he has a chance encounter with Obi Wan and Anakin, and turns out they are there to rescue the target he’s been commissioned by the confederation to take out. Even with his incredible foresight he can’t take them both on and, not wanting to die before finding his mother, surrenders. At the same time Yoda has a vision of the growing dark side cult on the outer rim that’s spreading quickly, and after interrogation of Jester, they realize it’s the same cult he came from.

They strike a deal where if he leads them to the cult and helps them take it out, they’ll make sure he doesn’t go to prison and instead is put on a “therapeutic rehabilitation” program with much more freedom. He agrees, but of course sees that option as just as bad, and is determined to betray them and escape at some point.

That’s all I got for now on that though lol

[waitingforwinterwinds]

A Clash of Kings - 31 CATELYN III (pages 426-439)

Cat meets with Stannis and Renly, it goes about as poorly as we all expected.

-

Storm's End sounds epic, but Durran sounds like an asshole, everyone was begging him to just move the foundations but he was all, "no, imma fight the gods. some of you may die, but that is a sacrifice i am willing to make." Yes, he did eventually get the thing built, thanks to the help of Bran the Builder and/or The Children of the Forest, but how many suffered for it? (my gosh this place is just full of guys grinding up smallfolk for their compensation castles. And I notice that it was the 7th that managed to stay up, 7 being a bit of a Big Number for the southern folk.)

Otherwise his dress was plain: studded leather jerkin over quilted doublet, worn boots, breeches of brown roughspun.

roughspun = 🥛

Even more curious was his standard bearer - a woman garbed all in reds, face shadowed within the deep hood of her scarlet cloak. A red priestess, Catelyn thought,wondering. The sect was numerous and powerful in the Free Cities and the distant east, but there were few in the Seven Kingdoms.

oh that's interesting. I don't know why I didn't think Cat would know about the Mel's sect, or where I got the impression Mel's the first red priestess to come to the Westeros in any length of time worth remembering. Like yeah, Cat's educated and religious herself, of course it makes sense for her to be aware of one of the other major religions, even if it's not very widespread in her immediate area, but it just never occurred to me that people would see Mel and understand what she was without being told?

He yanked his longsword from its scabbard. The steel gleamed strangely bright in the wan sunlight, now red, now yellow, now blazing white. The air around it seemed to shimmer, as if from heat. ... Some of the light seemed to go out of the world when Stannis slid his sword back into its scabbard.

colour shifting glowstick sword?! I want one, I need one.

[Insert Lightsaber Joke Here]

(Actually, I think they do make colour shifting lightsabers... remind me to google that later, never too early to shop for my own birthday gift!)

It is past time I went back to Riverrun to close my father's eyes, she thought. That much at least I can do. I may be a poor envoy, but I am a good mourner, gods save me.

Poor Cat, she's just so weary. She knows her part in starting it all, and she's trying to deescalate, but everyone has suddenly decided "actually, country ravaging violence sounds like a great idea" and there's just so little she can do about it all.

That choice Renly had denied himself in his headlong rush to come to grips with his brother. He had outdistanced his supply lines, left food and forage days behind with all his wagons and mules and oxen. He must come to battle soon or starve.

I keep wanting to remark on Renly's arrogance, but the specific type of arrogance he displays has my brain churning out the word 'cocksure,' and then back itself up because 'yeah the word fits but am I allowed to say that? Renly's gay, does that put it at too bad of a pun for public consumption?'

Renly laughed. "Loras, stay and help me pray. It's been so long I've quite forgotten how. -"

[Insert Joke about Idolatry and Body Worship Here... and Loras will Ins-]

sorry. We all know what he meant by 'pray'

In Catelyn's small corner of the camp, Shadd was slicing carrots into a kettle, Hall Mollen was dicing with three of his Winterfell men, and Lucas Blackwood sat sharpening his dagger. "Lady Stark," Lucas said when he saw her, "Mollen says it is to be battle at dawn." "Hall has the truth of it," she answered. And a loose tongue as well, it would seem. "Dow we fight or flee?" "We pray, Lucas," she answered him. "We pray."

I love the quiet comradery of this, not just between the men, but between them and Cat, so far in these sorts if scenes, I get vibes of 'she's not just the boss's wife or mother,' but their lady/boss, which is nice. (I don't know, just a lot of the other teams vibe like they'd look at a widow and go 'you're not my boss, you his wife/mother, which means you mean nothing' regardless of her own contributions.)

[kyriemrmister]

well

i've finally finished reading the crossover monkees RPF fanfiction (aka Time Prison Fic) that i liked that davy design from and um

how can a fanfiction be so unapologetically LGBT-friendly and anti-TERF and also hate women and sapphics so much?

it's also painfully obvious how much of a self-insert the fic's version of mike is (and tbh it also stinks of naruto harem fic except it's mike nesmith from the monkees instead of naruto and he's transmasc and there's more then women in the harem)

the earlier parts before mike came in were more tolerable (elaine kido is both a girlboss AND a girlfail. what a queen. i love her) but wow the monkees popping up and taking over the story ruined it.

mike literally has none of the babygirl and pathetic meow meow qualities he actually had (according to the monkees fandom on here) and is literally every poorly written alpha male OP self-insert harem smut fic lead on ffnet except he's trans, and surprise! he doesn't just like women! (props to that bit! but it's just an excuse for male and nb characters that half of the writing duo has the hots for to also get into mike's pants and be his cheerleader and do nothing otherwise like the women also do in this fic and almost any other harem fanfiction from ffnet)

there's also other Questionable Things, socks and his flanderization from genuinely good and interesting lead to 'heehoo funny meme guy', for one (i could write an entire dissertion on what the story lovingly calls the 'TFSP' oh man)

and whatever tf they did with micky dolenz (once she comes out as a woman in the fic she just becomes another cheerleader and porking object for mike and they disregard previous characterization for that. did i mention how much that half of the writing duo hates women and sapphics? because wow he sure does)

and tbh this fic also does davy dirty (he's just there for fetishization of fat people because the half of the duo who writes him has a weight gain and feederism kink and it's painfully obvious but he doesn't want to push it on mike because he doesn't want him being 'weak and helpless' or something)

peter is also done pretty dirty too tbh (literally he's just boiled down to 'hippie pacifist plantboy who puts up protective barriers and heals people', which is not a bad concept in itself, but it's executed so SO badly. like you gotta make socialist and bisexual autistic icon and avid woman respecter peter tork into a soft 'don't hurt me or i'll cry' boy to further elevate mike?)

and when a new character appears or an old character from earlier in the fic, 9/10 they're just there to be mike's cheerleader/pork mike/for mike to beat up

there's some genuinely good humor in this fic (the puns and wordplay are top notch in this fic, and they know the right time and place to slip in a meme or reference)

but wow. WOW. does the male half of the writer duo ever hate women and sapphics.

i'm currently reading the reboot of the story and tbh it also stinks of some of the same problems (mike somehow has the ability to turn straight men gay for him, which is funny, but also the ability also makes sapphics fall in love with him, a man, who isn't even close to being butch, fall in love with him too, which is kinda gross lol)

the only fun parts of the reboot of the story so far is the reimagining of the seiya and ikki rivalry as more of a bugs bunny and daffy duck situation (a very galaxy-brained but clearly not canon-compliant take on their rivalry. doesn't stop from making me love it though), women having more agency (when mike's not around lol), and the use of pizza tower as a new addition because peppino's pretty bang on characterization-wise so far and he's been frequently enjoyable as a character for the Most Part, as there's the One Misstep for the Crossover Mother of his OC Child because the whole 'don't age up children and ship them' discourse which taints the fic's version of peppino Slightly.

it's obvious the writers care a lot about representation but hm. there's a lot of woman and sapphic hate permanating this fic saga and its reboot (the reboot significantly less so but it still Stinks of it Slightly) and i think that's what ruins it.

[beardedhandstoadshark]

Browsed the voice lines for a bunch of characters. Found some funny ones.

Traveller [about Cyno and the TCG]:[…] You know, when you’re playing a card game, the fancier your hairstyle, the more distracting it is for your opponent.[…]

Are they…are they referencing Yugioh?

Venti [Joining party I]: Give me a moment to compose myself.

Is that a Heckin pun-

Venti [Elemental skill I]: Yoo-Hoo!

EHE IS OUT YOO-HOO IS IN

Noelle [when it’s windy]: Ahh…can you hear the Anemo Archon’s voice on the breeze? It calms me down whenever I get flustered.

Indeed I can! He‘s demanding more wine.

Bennett [Joining party I]: *quiet and disbelieving* Y-you want me on your team?

🥺

Bennett [Low HP III]: I always bounce back, just watch me…

Holding his skill makes him bounce…the burst stops him from bouncing back but heals when HP is low…so he’s not bouncing back anymore but bouncing back…I-

Jean [Jean‘s Hobbies]: Maybe we can discuss the tales of legendary heroes. Have you heard the story of the heroic king of Khaenri‘ah?

SJSKFJDK JEAN. JEANN. JOANNE. YOU CANT JUST DROP THIS AND NOT ELABORATE ON THE LORE HAVE YOU EVER LOOKED YOUR CAVALRY CAPTAIN IN THE EYE FKFJFLGDK

Hu Tao [Receiving a gift II]: Sure you don’t want my help? C‘mon, it’s a great deal: cool twice the amount in the same time!

Ha. They’re referencing her passive skill. It makes you get double the amount of food from cooking sometimes…though it’s always gonna be a dubious dish. Traveller doesn’t want her help because she sucks at cooking.

Xianling [Low HP III]: Now I‘m really in a pickle!

Pickle…because she’s a cook…also insert outdated meme here

Gorou [Low hit taken I] : Shake it off!

You get it…because he’s a dogboy….dogs shake stuff off their fur…hah.

Shinanoin Heizou [When It Snows]: Have you ever heard of the case of the vengeful spirit of Dragonspine? It all happened on a dark, snowy night long ago…

NO I HAVENT DROP THE LORE NOW PLEASE ARCHONSDAMMIT

Kaeya [about Mika]: […] does taking everything so seriously run in the Schmidt‘s blood?

a) Mika‘s family seems to be known to the knights too, but more importantly b) Mika’s full name is Mika Schmidt. Huh. At least they finally got the pronunciation for a word right tho!

[More About Kaeya II]: My eye? My eye is fine. There’s nothing unusual about hiding one‘s body parts from view. It’s the same reason I wear pants…or any other item of clothing, for that matter

Hey remember when this was obviously proof there was something up with that eye because this is way too on the nose…yeah. Turns out it’s fine.

Keaya [About Fischl]: What? You think Fischl having one eye is very fitting given her title of Prinzessin […] if that’s the case, that must make me a future royal progeny too, no?

*breath in* SON-

Yanfei [Low HP I]: Objection!

*Cornered from Ace Attorney starts playing in the background*

[Low HP III]: But my defence was watertight…

Watertight. Because she’s Pyro. Hydro good against Pyro. Oma…

Ningguang [Ascension Intro]: There‘s no style in resorting to violence. It’s simply the worst of all the bad decisions you could make.

Exactly! That’s why you should throw shiny rocks on their head instead. Or a Jade Chamber. Make it stylish!

Barbara [Interesting Things]: Sunflowers always face the sun. They’re so bright. In fact, my mother sent me a sunflower-style dresss…I wonder when I‘ll finally get to wear it on stage?

SOMEONE. FANART. NOW. Actually y’know what MIHOYO NEW BARBARA SKIN NOW

[itsevanffs]

insert pun about ABBA here

M | 8.1k | WIP | Chose Not To Warn Tags: Mamma Mia Au, Modern With Magic, Infidelity, Hurt/Comfort Summary:

Harry's getting married to the love of his life, and eager to connect with his late mother's memory, he invites all three men his mother's journals mentioned could be his father: James Potter, Sirius Black and Tom Riddle.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/54116827/chapters/143066959

[hybrid-royalty]

NAME: Niklaus Mikaelson

NICKNAME/S: Klaus, Menace

AGE: 1000+

SPECIES: Orginal Vampire, Hybrid Werewolf

MORALITY: lawful / chaotic / good / neutral / evil

RELIGION: He believes in nothing but himself

SINS: greed / gluttony / sloth / lust / pride / envy / wrath

VIRTUES: chastity / charity / diligence / humility / kindness / patience / justice (none of these are highlighted, that is not a mistake)

KNOWN LANGUAGES: Many, he picks them up easily and he's traveled the world, inserting himself into various cultures as part of their mythos

SECRETS: Klaus is very private, he does not know how to let anyone in, this includes his personal thoughts and feelings on top of whatever he is currently scheming. If you are brought into his plans it's only out of absolute necessity, not because he trusts you.

BUILD: scrawny / bony / slender / fit / athletic / curvy / herculean / pudgy / average

HEIGHT: 5'11

SCARS / BIRTHMARKS: His scars are feint and unnoticeable unless you are looking closely. Being turned did not change was was already there, but time has made all but the worst fade away. He bears some scars from childhood beatings/punishments, though his father did not always break the skin. The worst of which came not long before he was turned, when his father ran him all the way through with a sword during an argument. That one may never fully go away. A few long thin ones from swords training with his father and brother. There are some thin white scaring on his hands as well, from when he learned to whittle animals and totems before he was turned - there were a few instances where he probably would have lost a finger had his mother not been such a talented healer. It never stopped him from doing it again though.

ABILITIES / POWERS: Heighted senses, stronger and faster than normal vampires or werewolves. Compulsion of humans and vampires.

RESTRICTIONS: Almost nothing since he broke the hybrid curse. Only the White Oak ashes will slow him down or the White Oak Stake to kill him.

FOOD: Beignets and Coffee from his favorite shop in his favorite city

DRINK: Bourbon, it's so American and he really likes it here

PIZZA TOPPING: cheese

COLOR: Most of his clothes are dark and neutral

MUSIC GENRE: grunge rock, he started listening to it at full volume while painting just to annoy his brother, but eventually started to actually enjoy it. Otherwise classical. Not a lot in between.

BOOK GENRE: Historical

MOVIE GENRE: He doesn't watch movies/tv

CURSE WORD: All of them

SCENTS: Sandalwood, oak, ashes

SONGS: Wolf by Boy Epic

AESTHETIC: tortured artist, rage, blood, bourbon, whiskey, scotch, old books, crazy eyes

SINGS IN THE SHOWER: No

LIKES PUNS: No, unless he makes one, then it's witty

Tagged by: @sonofmikael and @malka-lisitsa

Tagging: @troubleah @bravebartender @sindicate