#indescribable feelings indeed

[jeeaark]

I mean. Squid Greygold os cute

[deathbxnny]

HEHEHEHEH HELLO AGAIN BXXNY!!!

I am so obsessed with this man even if he doesn't do big pp DMG and I have no idea how to use him he's still on my team (with Yelan Klee and Zhongli)

ANYWAYS!! Kinich with a girlfriend that's like his childhood best friend, both pretty obsessed with each other tbh, but Ajaw is a little shit that loves making Kinich's life hell, so he acts all sweet with reader, always crying crocodile tears to her and just sucking up to her, basking in all the attention and cuddles she gives him while making sure to paint Kinich in a bad light.

Of course reader knows Ajaw's little plan... but she does love seeing Kinich so frustrated, so she always agrees with Ajaw... I'll leave the rest to you!

(I'm so happy to get this other idea out you have no idea)

Jealousy, jealousy, jealousy. | Kinich x Fem!Reader feat. Ajaw

I want to kiss your brain, dear moot!! Your idea is so good, I could eat it for dinner rn!!<33

Content: Jealous Kinich, established relationship, Ajaw being a menace as usual, fluff, kinda unserious, sfw

Reader is asked to be fem/afab!

((Not proofread))

Ajaw was always determined to make Kinich's life a living hell out pure of spite. Nothing else brought him so much joy, and therefore, he used all his free times to scheme and plan his next evil shenanigans against him. It wasn't an easy thing to do by no means, though, since the man was often unbothered and indifferent by his presence, going so far as to banish the dragon lord at times to get rid of him momentarily.

But all of his hard work became a lot lighter when you and Kinich finally became a couple after years of being "just friends". The dragon lord saw his golden opportunity for the perfect revenge, one he achieved through your kind, unsuspecting heart and kindness towards him.

To you, Ajaw could do no wrong. No matter what it was, you often took his side when he whined and gave you those perfectly teary eyes whilst accusing Kinich of being mean to HIM. That produced much better results than anything the dragon lord could've ever planned, and it brought him indescribable joy to see his dear companions visible annoyance.

Now, you ofcourse were very much aware of Ajaw's silly, evil plans, but seeing your boyfriend so easily angered and jealous at the attention you gave the menace of a creature he was stuck with, was unfortunately too cute to pass up. Of course, you'd make it up to him with gentle kisses and cuddle sessions... but until then, you played along.

Whenever Ajaw came flying to you out of "fear", after Kinich "threatened" to put him in time-out again, you'd coo at his plight and pat him on the head, a playful and sympathetic pout in your lips that ticked your boyfriend off.

At times, he'd even interrupt your time together during dates, demanding attention in the most dramatic ways possible, knowing how jealous it made the man who was very much obsessed with you. He could never be angry at you, but Ajaw was not spared from his wrath. He tried to stay calm and remind himself that it was all just to get a reaction out of him, but it was hard when he was close to reaching over and strangling him.

You eventually had to stop your games to calm him down and remind him that it was all indeed just playful banter... especially after Ajaw received the darkest glare known to man, when he attempted to ruin another date with you.

The allmighty dragon lord miraculously stopped his plans for a while, mainly because he suddenly didn't feel like facing your loving boyfriend's wrath after all...

[aakeysmash]

bakugou taking care of you when you're on your period but not in a "omg my cramps hurt so bad" way but in a "i am literally gonna throw up" way

thought i’d change it up and make him the one who gags lol. thank you for this ask bb, even if it is indeed from MONTHS ago……..

he enters the bathroom and gags. you’re changing your pad with the door open, because it’s nothing he didn’t already see a million times.

“hello to you too, boyfriend,” you huff annoyed. your cramps have been killing you all night, and seeing a man (even if it is the boyfriend you have been living with the past three years) makes you feel an indescribable rage. these are the only moments you truly wish you had a dick instead of an uterus.

he clears his throat, but his scowl stays. he knows you tend to be a little bit more moody the first few days of your period, but the sight of your blood outside of your body makes him feel nauseous.

“hi. i’m gonna go. catch ya later,” he rushes out before bolting out of the door towards your kitchen. you sigh, shaking your head. you think by now he’d understand you’re not being brutally killed even if he sees a little red on you, but the pro hero in him doesn’t want to acknowledge this.

you get back to the living room and cover yourself with your soft blanket, trying to sleep a little. it’s your day off from the office, so it’s not like you’re missing anything: being your boyfriend’s assistant has its perks. you feel a warm hand softly caressing your forehead, which is the only thing peeking out from the giant blanket.

“tea?” katsuki asks. you know this is his way of caring. you hum.

“hurts?” he asks again, and you hum for the second time.

you hear him walking away and pouring the hot water he already prepared in advance in case you wanted to drink something warm. you hear the gentle pit-pat of his slippers coming back to the sofa, and you sit up to reach for the cup in his hand.

“i want to curl up in a ball and die,” you mutter before taking a sip.

“you always say this,” he responds, sitting down next to you.

“and i mean it,” you sassily say, looking at him with your brows furrowed. he kisses your forehead, smirking.

“no you don’t,” he chuckles. you playfully shove him.

“i’m sorry for staining the sheets. i promise i’ll wash them once the ibuprofen kicks in,” you sheepishly say, laying your head on his shoulder.

you feel the shiver that runs up his spine. “no use. sleep, i’ll make lunch. i asked eijirou to cover for me today,” he answers before kissing your forehead again and getting up.

“you know i love you, right?” you sigh, laying down and managing to fall asleep in 30 seconds.

you wake up because you feel a big thud in the bathroom. you groggily walk toward it and you find katsuki kneeling down in front of your bathtub. he's the palest you've ever seen him be.

"are you okay?" you ask him, worried he might have hurt himself, maybe by slipping on one of the many puddles of water across the floor.

"i'm fine, fuck. it's just a little blood, why am i acting like such a pussy," he snaps. you're confused, before realizing he's holding onto the sheets from last night. a laugh bubbles inside you and you try to force it down, but he notices it and scowls.

"i did this for you and you're laughing at me?" he looks down at the slightly bloody water in front of him and sits down on the wet floor. "i feel like i might pass the fuck out, no joke," he grunts, closing his eyes and taking big breaths.

you burst out laughing. "i could've done this, you know?" you say between chuckles, kneeling down to take over. he grunts again, muttering something alongside "i wanted to do something nice for you."

the day after you finish your period, you're sitting next to each other on your bed.

"so you find me disgusting, huh?" you tease him, still remembering how he had to lay down for 30 minutes to regain color in his face.

he rolls his eyes, flicking your forehead. "looking at your blood is one of the few things that makes me want to gauge my eyes out. apart from tasting that stupid egg mix my mom gave us the other day," he barks out. you laugh.

"y'know, there's a way to end this," he says in your ear.

you look up with a questioning gaze.

"isn't it time to have a baby?"

[tsxkkis]

# iwaizumi hajime - cuddles 101

a/n: i'm a firm believer that the more 'intimidating' looking guys love being little spoons and you can't convince me otherwise (theory tested on my boyfriend actually) so yeah, here's a short stupid fic about that :33

summary: iwaizumi can't find a good cuddling position.

warnings: none

to think the blessing of having iwaizumi hajime as a boyfriend would bestow itself upon you was indescribable.

for you, he was an evident example that good, loving men still existed out there. his nonchalant, cold exterior was merely a facade, a shell that cracked with each day spent with you; his eyes gentle and his gaze filled with admiration each time it landed upon you. he was considerate of your feelings, a true gentleman who always put your needs above his and, although a bit closed off when it comes to his feelings, did everything for your relationship to work out.

it was safe to say that iwaizumi was indeed perfect at everything.

well, except cuddling.

'let's switch positions, please.'

'again? it's the sixth time already, iwa.'

the short-haired boy turned to face you, tired eyes looking up. after a particularly hard volleyball training, the only thing he wanted to do was lay down in his lovers embrace and have a quick nap. the problem arose when, with each position he tried, he couldn't possibly close his rest for more than approximately three minutes.

a sigh left iwaizumi's lips as he turned to lay on his side with his back facing you, one of his hands still intertwined with yours so that he got the chance to feel your touch even when not 'traditionally' cuddling.

you could see his back muscles underneath the t-shirt he was wearing, gently tracing circles around them with your free hand.

'now that i think of it,' you mumbled, getting up to lay closer to him 'you've never been the little spoon.'

'that's because it's your place.' he said after a short while, already feeling your arms wrapping around his torso, trapping him in a warm hug.

'doesn't hurt to try, right?'

he mumbled a silent 'sure', his body succumbing to the tiredness as his muscles loosened under your touch, a smile on his face as he got himself comfortable.

and to your surprise, he stayed that way, eyes fluttering shut as he slowly but surely fell asleep, breathing steadily through his nose. he looked so calm, so peaceful - so different from what he presented himself as on a day to day basis.

he looked incredibly cute.

you almost couldn't help yourself, hand reaching for your phone from behind you, opening the camera to snap a quick picture or two of your boyfriend in such a sweet moment. you smiled to yourself, giving iwaizumi a quick kiss on the cheek before laying back down, a big grin on your face.

next thing you knew, a picture of iwaizumi hajime peacefully sleeping in your arms was set as your phone lockscreen, proudly showing it off to your friends who stared at the picture with awe. normally, he would get embarrassed about it; already hearing the teasing comments his friends would make, brows furrowing in annoyance at a mere thought of what they would say. but this time, he did not mind.

because he finally found the perfect cuddling position and as stupid as it may sound, it was enough to make him happy.

taglist: @moonswolfie @wyrcan @kitsune-kita @haechansbbg @luvvrgirll @serotoninbarbz @sugaraddict301

[samodivaa]

Lust looks pretty on you

Bucky x Reader : One Bed Trope. But he is your crush and his body is too close. He can't tell that you are masturbating, right...?

Warnings - soft smut, masturbation Words - 2.5k AN - I want to make a filthy version as well, but this felt just right.

Somehow you cannot help being reminded of a him, you look at him with compassion, sometimes with sympathy—though suddenly in one instant he becomes, as though by chance, lovely and exquisite, you can’t comprehend the power of those pensive eyes flashing with such fire—between the shadow and your soul, you love him, feelings can’t be repressed. But sometimes his eyes, his soft features burn with anguish and you grieve, in silence, that his beauty fades—your eyelashes glisten with tears Bucky never knows of.

When he comes close to you, there is already a gleam of a smile on your lips, faintly blushing and looking down.

“There is a room, but it has only one bed” he says uneasily. “I am okay with that” you say with an indescribable gesture, a gravest face, but your heart begins throbbing. “Are you sure? I don’t want to make you uncomfortable and-” Bucky speaks timidly in an ingratiating voice. “I assure you” you say in a whisper, full of affection, eyes beaming with delight as you take his human hand.

Finishing your answer, you pause pathetically, because there is an intense desire to force yourself to laugh, already feeling that a malignant demon is stirring inside, making you imagine curtain scenarios and suddenly there is a lump in your throat. You are always so tender, so solicitous with him—your soul is full with loving sympathy. “I can sleep on the floor-” Bucky begins in a plaintive voice, in which there lies a hope, though a very faint one and bends his head. “No, I would never allow that” He is looking at you intently, while a strange curiosity gleams in yours. Bucky stops, with his mouth open, because he can’t speak for delight as you continue to hold his hand. Your lips are quivering and you try to say something as well, but can only convulsively squeeze Bucky's hand in silence. You continue to look affectionately at him as a smile passes over his lips. “Okay” he brings out at last.

When you enter the hotel room, you say tragically “Oh, the bed is small” Your eyes meet, he is gazing at you with a sort of wonder that evidently surprises you. Then, he tilts his head, his thin lips threatening to break into a smile

“But we will manage!” 

You say briskly, quick to add to the previous statement, and, indeed, on the mad idea that flashes on your giddy brain—you will take a long shower in the hopes that he will fall asleep. That position is desperate, but you are hot with shame, because he keeps staring at you, grasping at once that you might be up to some mischief. Bucky always does that—studies every gesture, every movement you make, listens to every vibration of your rich voice, but strange to say, as the result of all his observations tonight, he feels, mixed with a sweet and timid impression, a feeling of intense curiosity. It seems as though he is on the verge of uncovering the mystery of your unusual behavior. But with your masterly acting, trying to keep you together, the whole process goes on in you unconsciously as you approach the other side of the bed in wide steps after having closed the door behind and sit on the mattress. You have purposely chosen this solitary spot, your eyes facing the wall. “You go shower first, I want to call my mom” Bucky grows suddenly confused, and a faint trace of vexation is betrayed in his impatient movement and he is glad that you can’t see it, but he remains quiet, in his heart there is a sort of haunting worry—are you scared of sleeping next to him? Is it because of his nightmares? He is irritated, boiling with indignation and hate, towards himself, for it is the first time that he has felt like that in your presence. Feelings so coarsely handle him—he is reminded of what he truly is. 

The sound of running water echoes as he decides to go and turn the faucet on, adjusting it to a comforting warmth. Heaven. He winces as his back is met with hot water, swapping through his hair, through the curls and then running in streams down his shoulders, muscles protesting with each movement, but the warmth provides a reprieve from the ache that is a companion throughout the whole night. Bucky is analyzing the situation while he showers. His heart leaps and shudders when he exits the bathroom, but he is thankful that you are still talking on the phone so he lays on his side in despair and misery, hiding his face in the pillow, and is alternately feverish and shivery—he will make sure not to sleep, because his mind is too frightened by the the idea of scaring you with his nightmares, in his exhausted state all the emotions of the day come back to him in a rush. Whatever lies hidden in both your secret and behavior, he understands, but it causes moments of anguish of which he won’t forget. You longed to cheer him up, to relieve his anxiety if only by a glance, but when you see him sleeping, you tip-toe to the bathroom as Bucky lays with his eyes shut. When you come back into the room, his eyelashes quiver, but he controls himself and does not open his eyes. Was he that tired?  When you begin pulling up the quilt over you, shame or some other feeling drowns him, wishing to hide from this moment, but he can’t fall asleep so he persisted in lying in bed in silence as you obstinately pull the blanket higher and higher.

A terrible, awful weakness overcomes your senses, you try to lay with your eyes closed, because desire is the kind of thing that eats you and leaves you starving and you can’t master your need for him—that realization leaves you rather embarrassed, and at once flush crimson. This feels all so humiliating, and then you make that blunder, a very important one—you think about pleasuring yourself. That’s just what makes you so ecstatic, that you have a presentiment.... and though it’s so dreadful, it’s all for the best. In fact, you believe nothing better could have happened, because this is once in a life's opportunity. Involuntarily, you find your eyes scouring the darkness, looking for the outline of his bulky body, but you can only feel the warmth radiating from it. You move your fingers slowly and strainedly, working your way down your torso and swallow when you reach your panties as your nipples harden, poking through your shirt. You swiftly pull your panties to the side, strings of your wetness part from your underwear and you realize—there is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably desirable. You breathe meekly and squeeze your eyes shut in embarrassment, because you hate the notion of being reduced to pleasuring yourself merely because of his close proximity, an embarrassing, desperate thing to do, but even so you keep on gently touching yourself.

You begin sliding your index finger between the folds of your entrance, it makes you shiver and your mouth slightly hangs open, heat rushing to your puffy cheeks, eyes halfway shut. The magic that coils through your own touch leaves you breathless, and your back arches a bit into the sensation as a strange euphoria. You struggle slightly to stay motionless, the other hand trails down to your breasts to squeeze them slightly, purposely avoiding your nipples for now. You use the gathered wetness and press your finger firmly against your clit, making your thighs twitch. A sinner who sins boldly—but that makes you freeze. And yes, you have a sordid soul in many ways, but on the contrary, it is full of a fine feeling—of love for him. You are anxious, worrying is using your imagination to create something you don't want —but what if that movement woke him up? What if he somehow knows?

You start to rub slow circles around your clit as you tilt your head to his side, taking a shallow breath in through your nose. You are so aware of your sin that you fully cherish it and your imagination is a wonderful thing, it allows for all manner of undiscoverable thoughts —will he rub your clit like that? Maybe he will eat you out and moan into your cunt as he devours it? The soft flesh of your inner thighs ripples just a little as your legs shake, even though you try to control it, your chest heaves up and down just by thinking about it. You knead violently at the flesh of your right breast, pinching and flicking at your own nipple as you stimulate yourself. Then something unexpected happens. He sneezes. “Sorry” he says quietly, distinctly. It feels like you are caught, tried, and condemned to death. “Bucky? Bless you” you talk with as much composure as you can. And he was not supposed to hear, because It's a horribly private moment, a vulnerable moment on your part and he should be sleeping.

“Are you—” begins Bucky, but pauses in confusion. “No-” you interrupt suddenly, with a look of weariness, focusing on your lungs, on your ability to take a deep breath, to soothe with oxygen as the word rolls off your tongue while a deep blush suffuses your face. “Because I am” He is jerking off—? Well he was sliding across the painfully erect cock slowly through the fabric, making sure he didn't cum. His tone is so natural and respectful that you can't possibly suspect him of any insincerity. He feels instinctively that some such well-sounding humbug, brought out by him, will soothe your worries, and will be specially acceptable to you in such a delicate position. It is clear from his radiant face that he considers his words for the right ones in this moment, despite you not seeing his features in the darkness. Bucky gets up on his elbows, there is no glamor, no attempt to hide it, nothing: his lust takes over all his senses. The unwelcomed bubble of intrusive need, sinking into an even more heavily occluded state. His hard dick twitches and arousal trickles down his spine, because of his own confession. You feel him shift on the bed and he turns on the light on his nightstand. 

His eyes narrow until they have faint darkish glitter. You feel stuffy, there is not enough air to breathe as he stares at your face, his consciousness already vanishing and deforms itself in something primal, there is a delicious animal fire in his gaze. 

You have curiously thoughtful and attentive eyes, eyes that are very pretty and very nice, he loves when you turn to stare at his blue orbits—but you are fantasizing right now—which is utterly inappropriate for the part of your mind which wants to just hug Bucky all day long. “Were you thinking about me?” He asks innocently as he shamelessly stares—swallowing you whole. Slowly, you nod. He pushes off the blanket and your gaze drops to the outline of his cock, pushing up his heart into his throat—your breathing is eager and exciting—lips are faintly chapple, but soft in the corners. 

And then, his hot mouth is breathing into your ear and before you can even blink, he is on top of you, lips ghost over your earlobe. His hot mouth is breathing into your skin, your chest is pressed against his and he can feel the swell of your breasts through your shirt. You gasp as you feel his broad chest and toned abdomen holding you down as the hard bulge in his boxers rubs deliciously against your clothed pussy lips. For where all love is, the speaking is unnecessary—he kisses your neck, lips, cheeks, worships your skin, because holding you in his arms is more natural to him than his own heartbeat. He doesn't want just sex—he seeks passion. “Bucky-”

You keen between short breaths, between his gentle kisses as your fingers find the hairs at the nape of his neck. He rips your panties down with his metal hand and then reaches into his own to help his cock spring free. Drop of precum lands on your abdomen as he runs his thumb over the veins that run along the underside, barely audible as he drags his fingers across his tip, gathering the wetness before moving his fingers in front of your face. He gently rubs your lower lip, a finger working its way inside of your mouth, pressing on your tongue, eliciting a gag before removing it completely. “God, baby girl” he growls in your ear as his fingers brush up your soaking cunt “You look so innocent yet you were mastrubating right next to me” he goes on as he runs the tip of his finger back and forth, collecting your slick. Your eyes are pinched shut, lips parted ever so slightly, panting softly, a rosy flush coloring your cheeks. If it is the dirty element that gives pleasure to the act of lust, of his words, the dirtier it is, the more pleasurable it is bound to be—you are shameless, he thinks, swallowing the guttural groan that escapes him. You moan when he puts his fingers in his mouth, feverishly licking them, tasting you.

He is eagerly holding up his cock then he lines up your hole, he thrusts his hips forward, his cock pressing into your front, earning a squeal from you as he runs back and forth dragging his length across your opening and then slowly plunges into you. It is a slow, torturous process as your cunt stretches around him, accommodating his girth. Love is something he wants to nurture and grow, a connection that exists within each one of you—he has not missed a single one of your gestures, not one of the indications of your body and now it occurs to him that your eyes themselves have the color of love, they speak the language of both emotions and pleasure.

He breaks the intense eye contact to attack your neck, sucking and lightly biting on your weakest spot. Never have you been more aroused than, more needy as you continue to be relished by him by cock inside of you. "You are so bold sometimes. It's why I love you" he smiles against your hot skin, wondering how on earth he'd been lucky enough to find you. Whiny, stranded pleads leave your lips. His words are so sweet in comparison to the filthy trusts. His lips find yours as he feels you getting closer and he pushes you farther to the edge as he begins to fondle with your clit, your breathing becomes more labored. He keeps circling his finger in just the way that you love it and you can feel the beginning of the orgasm, sending your body into a wave of pleasure. You clenching around him—shuddering against him, as an orgasm washes over his own body. Bucky lose himself in your eyes—in the vocabulary of them as the pleasure goes through your body. The words became unnecessary. He made you feel loved.

[henneseyhoe]

Right Where I Want You.

Terry Richmond x BLACK!FEM!Reader

WARNINGS: Rough sex (Nothing too serious, she just chokes him a lil), Dirty talk, DOM!reader, SUB!Terry, Mommy kink (yeah you heard me, we get real nasty over here..), PWP, Short!, Not completely proof read.

SUMMARY: nah. lol

✮✮✮✮

the sound of clapping could be heard from the next room over even with the door closed. They both made no moves to quiet down either, the squeaky springs of the bed only applauded her on her bouncing, giving her the praises she needed for taking a dick this size. The stretch was delicious, the girth making her feel stuffed, and the length reaching places so deep that she could barely sit down all the way.

But how she rode was already enough for Terry, she didn’t have to sit all the way. He was already so gone. The way Terry was moaning her name with curses following, you’d think that was the only english he knew.

Her heels dug into the bed beneath them, the sensation of the soft silks against his bare skin heightening his pleasure. He had begged her just minutes before to use him, fuck him into his own bed and leave him wondering why you hadn’t come along sooner, why he didn’t come find you instead. He didn’t care if it was pathetic, there was some things he could live with happily without embarrassment. There was just something about you that could make a man kneel at your feet, cry, even.

“Enjoying yourself?”

She asks before moaning, her head lulling back for a second as she felt the tip of him brush over exactly where she wanted him the most. Her voice was so tantalizing, laced with a sweetheart tone and dominance as she knew she could take away what he needed the most in this moment; a tight pussy gripping his dick and a nut that would send him to another dimension. She knew damn well he was doing more than enjoying himself.

His abs tightened under his brown skin and he cried out, opting to hold onto the headboard instead of her hips to avoid her stopping like she did last time he touched her without permission.

“Fuck, baby!”

His hips bucked wildly as the sensitivity of him became almost unbearable. He hadn’t even came yet, multiple orgasms purposely ruined being the reason for the constant tightness in his balls and stomach. She, on the other hand, had already came three times. On his fingers, on his face, on that dick. Her cream stuck to his shaft and balls, making wet, sticky sounds every time her fat ass bounced back down on him, making him release another spurt of precum into her walls.

Her cream was still warm, used as lube to help her ride that thick dick efficiently enough to have him seeing stars.

And stars he did indeed see, the glasses perched on his nose providing no help with vision as he clenched his eyes closed.

“You boutta cum for me, baby? You know better to ask mommy first”

She runs her pierced tongue over her lips and begins rubbing her poor little clit with her dominant hand, ignoring the indescribable pain from sensitivity that also somehow brought her pleasure. She used her other hand to slowly wrap itself around Terry’s throat, squeezing slightly to bring him out his euphoric daze.

Once he had opened his eyes, he got to admire her again, eyes flickering from her pretty face to the urging hand between her thighs.

She went even harder on him, staring into his piercing eyes with a clear desire to break him just in case any other bitch thought she could do what she does to him. No one else could have him, a grown man, begging to be fucked, on his knees with his face in her lap.

“You like when I fuck you like this. You like when I use you” She guides him into a nod, a satisfied smile on her face as he agrees.

“Yes- fuck!”

“Mhmm. You love this pussy don’t you?”

“Yes, yes, yes! I love this pussy, mommy”

His words sent her into overdrive. That was the first time he had ever compiled and called her the self given pet name. She knew he was right where she wanted him now. There was nothing he wouldn’t say or do for her.

“Cum inside me, baby. Fill mommy up”

✮✮✮✮

💌- ngl this was just sumn sweet for the fuckin kids till december 🥴 did NOT mean for it to be like dis!

[neptuneiris]

Cruel Summer (04/10)

Under the Moon

pairing: modern!aemond × fem!reader

summary: dreams and frustrations are shared, leading to a strange and unexpected but enjoyable connection with Aemond and more moments together at the pier.

words: 11k

previous part • next part • series masterlist

hi everyone and I'm sorry for the wait! 🥺 I couldn't write this chapter, it took me a long time because it was difficult for me to develop certain scenes until finally I could finish it and I really hope you like it! 🙏🏻

remember that every comment and reblog is more than appreciated, thank you so much for reading beautiful people and enjoy the chapter!

warnings: none in this chapter.

The night is still young.

The sunlight has disappeared just a few minutes ago, letting the night sky in with the stars and the beautiful moon adorning the deep ocean with it's shimmering lights.

The smell of the salty air invades your lungs with every breath and the breeze gently hits your face, while the sound of the waves crashing against the shore is the only thing you can hear between you and Aemond.

Normally you don't usually come at such an early hour to the pier but... you couldn't help it. And meeting him here too at this hour was something you didn't think would happen.

Yet here you both are.

You feel the tension emanating from his body. You notice how he is completely rigid and takes several drags on his cigarette without giving them much time in between.

You don't know what has happened to him and that's why you asked him if he was sure he wanted you to stay. And even though he told you that you can stay, it doesn't mean that you should ask him what's going on with him... right?

You don't want to intrude and you don't want to make him feel more upset than he probably is. You're curious, in fact, you've been curious since the first time the two of you were here together.

Because you keep asking yourself; what kind of problems could he have? A Crown's guy?

Even though he has already told you that everything doesn't seem as perfect as it looks, you still find it hard to believe that. And you don't understand it because of all the people living at Crown's and specifically him they have no problems with money and never lack anything.

So you wonder what it could be and what it is that has him so stressed and upset.

That's not the only thing that invades your mind though. There's also the fact that the two of you exchanged glances at the party last night and he saw you mixing with the people on his side of town.

You have no idea what he's going to say to you about that. You don't even know if you're going to talk about it in the first place or if he wants to talk about anything in general.

So for the moment the only sound between the two of you is the sound of the waves.

Neither he nor you attempt to speak. You consider talking first as you watch him out of the corner of your eye but decide against it when you see him so serious and so lost in thought, staring off into the horizon.

And if that's what he wants now, peace and quiet just like you, you're not going to ruin it.

So you take a seat at the end of the pier as you kick off your sandals and slip your feet into the water, relaxing at the contact and more so with the view before you; starry sky and the moon reflecting in the deep ocean.

"So Stark is your friend."

He speaks suddenly, mixing the sound of his voice with the sound of the ocean and the atmosphere you both find yourselves in.

And him saying that gets your attention completely and you turn your body slightly to watch him while you're still sitting.

"Yes."

You reply, though nerves betray you, since after all... it seems that the two of you will indeed talk about that topic.

And as you watch him, again he has that look... indescribable.

You hate not knowing what he must be thinking, but he seems to be evaluating your answer. And you don't know if what he's going to say next will be an accusation or simple curiosity, so you decide to clarify that topic.

"My friend Chase works for his family," you begin to explain in a soft voice, "They both met and became friends, so one night Chase took him to a small reunion that my other friends and I were having at the beach on our side of town."

You say, remembering those moments.

"At first we all thought it would be temporary, after all... he's a rich guy from Crown's and his family is just as well known as yours, so we didn't think he would start hanging out with us."

You let out a slight sigh, looking out to where the ocean has no end.

"But it turns out he's simpler than he looks and... well... he likes to relax, hang out and be with a group of friends where nothing is demanded of him," you say, remembering his words, "With us he doesn't have to pretend or maintain the facade that most people at Crown's have to maintain."

You clear your throat, lowering your gaze for a moment.

"Or that's what he said."

You finish explaining and he doesn't say anything and honestly that starts to bother you.

You can tell he's a person who analyzes and evaluates people as well as words before he speaks, taking all the time necessary. But that's not a bad thing, what makes you desperate is that you don't know what he's probably thinking.

He has a way of doing things so... subtly and nonchalantly.

Then he turns his body towards you and leans his back against one of the wooden posts supporting the roof of the pier, having you completely on his radar of vision with the cigarette between his long, pale fingers.

He watches you with an intensity that makes your heart skip a beat and again, inevitably, you feel nervous.

"That explains it, then," he says softly, "Why you can so easily walk into Crown's and move among us."

You have to stifle a bitter laugh, since of course he thinks you're trying to pretend to be as one of them and that sounds totally ridiculous, even to you.

"It's not like I'm trying to pretend to be like one of you."

You say with a sincere tone, watching him seriously.

"Neither my cousin nor my friends or I do that. We're not from Crown's."

He tilts his head.

"Oh no?" he says in a soft but slightly expectant tone, "Then what were you all doing at the party last night if Cregan doesn't like being with his own kind?"

"The guys and I ask Cregan to get us in because sometimes they're the only way out of the everyday," you explain, "Those parties make us forget for a while who we really are and enjoy things we don't have access to, like... an escape. But it's not our life," you shake your head, "We don't belong there and we don't pretend we do, we just... want to have fun."

He listens to you and evaluates you silently, again, looking for some sign that disproves what you claim. But there is nothing, nor is there anything else to say, because it's the truth.

"But last night..." he begins to say, "I saw you and you seemed fine... and fitting right in. Even better than others."

This catches your attention and you tilt your head to the side, genuinely surprised and interested.

"You also seemed fine where you were and... with her... y-your girlfriend."

Your last words come out with difficulty, stumbling between your lips before you could stop them.

'Okay, now why did you decide to say that?'

You ask, or rather reproach yourself. But it's not like you can turn back time, he's already heard you and you... you don't know what to say to save or excuse your words.

But then you notice a change in him.

A subtle change passes over his face, almost imperceptible. He stirs for a second where he stands and throws the little that is left of his cigarette.

You notice again the tension in his body and for a moment, his gaze fixed on the horizon, hard and expressionless, shows a shadow of doubt that he does not want to show. However, the silence between you two fills with a slight awkwardness and a tension that you don't understand.

He tries not to let down that impenetrable wall around him, but it seems your words have made a crack and you bring that annoyance back to him.

'Maybe you shouldn't have mentioned his girlfriend?'

You're about to apologize but he speaks first.

"You know her?" he asks in a low, almost distant tone, still not watching you.

"The mean girl?" you ask without thinking but instantly regret it and panic invades your entire system, "Oh no, no, no, I mean... sorry. I-I didn't—

"It's okay," he interrupts you, with a disinterested calm that bewilders you.

This also gets your attention and confuses you but you already feel embarrassed enough because clearly you shouldn't refer to the girlfriend that way in front of her boyfriend, so... you try to think before you speak.

"I mean..." you clear your throat, "Floris Baratheon? Sure. Well, her whole family."

You try to lighten the mood.

"Although my cousin and I ran into her and her friends yesterday morning on the pier," you start to say, "Your sister was with them too, but... she wasn't present when she started making fun of us for not having money, being poor and all," you list with boredom, already being very common.

That especially gets his attention and for the first time in all the time the two of you have been here together, he glares at you with furrowed brows.

"She made fun of you?"

He asks you with a seriousness that instantly makes you feel nervous and intimidated. And of course, he's not going to believe you, she's his girlfriend.

"Well... n-no, I mean... surely she acts differently with you," you start to say nervously and without finding the right words to express yourself, "Surely she must be very kind and nice... but... with you and her people, you know what I mean?"

He looks at you confused, not understanding, narrowing his eye at you and you can't find a way not to make his girlfriend look bad.

"It's just that..." you get frustrated, shaking your head, "Look... huh... she's your girlfriend and I don't want you to think that what I'm telling you are lies, so—

"I don't think that," he interrupts you, this time with an honesty that takes you by surprise. "I believe you."

You look at him uncertain.

"Really?"

He doesn't respond, just nods his head as he turns around and rests both arms on the wooden railing. He runs a hand over his face and in the process, messes up his silver hair, letting a few strands fall messily over his forehead.

"I've heard stories," he says then, without looking at you, "Apparently... she finds it funny to make fun of those who aren't of her own status... like other people I know."

He says with some bitterness.

"But when she's with me or my family... she acts completely different. And it's a little hard to believe when my mother or father hears those rumors but....

He shakes his head in disdain.

"Cregan is right, it's all appearance. It always is."

You remain silent, letting his words echo in the air.

The revelation about Floris stuns you, not because you wouldn't have guessed it, but because he, being her boyfriend and close to her, acknowledges it with such bitterness.

And there is something in his words and in his posture, which makes you realize that he is no stranger to such falsehood and you wonder... maybe he thinks just like Cregan and is caught up in appearances and perfection, just like him?

Still, you remain genuinely confused, with a question you can't help but ask him.

"But... don't you love her?"

The little laugh he lets out catches your attention and you see him shake his head, as if the idea is something absurd and impossible to be, which leaves you more confused.

"It's not what it seems. Our relationship... it's not genuine."

You frown and look at him blankly, feeling foolish for not doing so but... you really don't understand.

"What do you mean?"

He doesn't say anything to you, just lets out a low sigh and bites the inside of his cheek, knowing perfectly well that he can't talk to you about it because it might be a bad idea.

He doesn't know you, you don't know him and these are... delicate, important issues that should be kept in the family.

It doesn't matter if are issues that consume him and suffocate him, he has to bear it and deal with it because that's the way things are in his family, and period, there's nothing he can do or say about it.

And you notice that. The hesitation and the distrust, because both you and he understand that he shouldn't trust you, a poor girl from Black Waves, with anything.

But you know when a person is drowning.

You see it in the look and the way they move. You saw it in Cregan when he first joined the group, all your friends saw it and Aemond... you can see that the surface is about to overtake him.

And yet he has to put up with that, for whatever he owes his family and you understand that. You are no one to force or try to convince him to talk to you.

"I understand that you don't want to talk about it with me."

You begin to tell him in a soft tone.

"And I also know that I'm no one to make you share your ideas or concerns with me because I wouldn't understand. Even right now I have a hard time understanding that someone like you, who has everything, would have problems, you know?"

You tell him with a small incredulous smile and a wry look.

"But that's just my ignorance because I really don't know anything," you say in acceptance, "And... I really hope you find that person you can talk to and get it off your chest," you tell him in the most honest way possible.

Then, again, it's as if something inside him changes but this time... it breaks.

You notice that subtle change, in how his shoulders that always seem tense, as if carrying the weight of the whole world, drop a little and his breathing becomes heavier and slower.

And you don't know it but something in him is falling apart, the moment you told him that you find it hard to understand that he, who has everything, has problems.

But that is the image that his family has always reflected. That is the image that his father has put on him and all his children for all people to see. A perfect family, him being the perfect, flawless son.

And it's so much weight, the reality and your words, that he finally reacts.

"My whole life is an obligation."

He speaks with a hardness in his voice, not watching you and you watch him intently at the moment he begins to speak.

"For as long as I can remember, my whole life has been planned, with no say or decision for me. Because my decisions were never mine, they are my father's and my mother's who is always supporting him, trying to find the good side in everything," he says bitterly, "The two of them deciding between my hobbies, my friendship's, my relationship's, my studies and my future, no matter what I want or what I feel."

You are surprised by the harshness and ease with which he speaks, not yet looking at you, but finally expressing himself and venting, letting out all that he has been enduring and must endure.

"And Floris is that... a decision I didn't make or I want to make," he says seriously, "It... it was never... never a matter of love, the two of us..." he sighs, "The two of us are nothing more than a convenience. A piece on my father's board."

You part your lips and watch him confused but with realization, trying to see if what you're hearing is what you think it is.

"He, my grandfather and his entire team are always looking for alliances and partnerships for the company. Ways to strengthen our connections with other families that are advantageous and Floris... is that."

He motions with his hand and still with the bitterness is all over his face.

"Is that link between his father and mine through me, as if I... have no judgment of my own and even if I do, that doesn't matter to him because I must do what he asks me to do with family in mind, because that's the only justification."

And then... he starts talking without stopping, expressing himself fully while you just stand there, silent, watching and just listening.

"Just as I must study a fucking degree I don't want and don't like," he onfesses, "But I must do it to keep the company someday because Aegon will never do it, my father is already angry enough at him, Helaena won't do it either, Daeron is still young and someone must do it, then that someone must be me."

H points to himself harshly and bitterly, anger in his voice.

"But I do it so the fucking fights in my house don't happen anymore and so my father doesn't end up hating us completely."

He takes a breath and puts on a bitter smile, looking up at the sky for a second, shaking his head.

"But it's not even worth it, you know?" he tells you in a lower, calmer tone, "That's the worst of it, my dad... he's not worth it," he shakes his head, "I don't owe him shit."

He runs a hand through his hair again, as he stares out at the ocean and bites his lower lip with anger coursing through his veins.

"He didn't even notice me since I was a kid until I told him I was going to study business to take over the company. And yet, I have to put up with it for my mother and my siblings... because I don't want my family to explode."

Silence falls between you again, but this time it's not awkward or tense.

His confession leaves you stunned, because you definitely didn't expect to hear any of this. Not even about his father and his family. And he's... still tense, with his jaw clenched and his gaze furrowed in anger.

It's like he's blowing smoke out of his body, from all that resentment and all that anger not only at his father, but also at himself, at the crushing expectations that have haunted him his whole life.

But, in some strange way, he finds himself with one less weight on his shoulders for finally venting.

And you can't believe it.

Maybe you've been so ignorant and you've seen so many movies and read so many love stories that you think... if you're with someone in a relationship, especially people your age, it's because you must both love each other.

And that's what you thought of him and Floris, two rich parents' children who have a bright future together. But now, everything you had assumed about them falls apart.

And how come you didn't see it coming?

You mean, all of them, all these men are rich and they reinforce that power with richer people with their alliances, whether it's of any kind, but the point is to relate to people who are equally or more wealthy and to keep them.

And now that Aemond has entrusted you with this, it makes sense.

And you can't be blamed for not having thought about it before, summer has barely begun, you're enjoying it, you're also working and certainly these ideas don't cross your mind when you're poor and have nothing to do with this world.

So you finish processing everything he has said in silence, realizing that he has shared more with you than he has probably shared with anyone in a long time.

You realize how important this moment is, even if you don't know exactly what to say.

Then Aemond reacts again and finally looks at you, letting out a long sigh as he closes his eye and runs a hand over his face again.

"I spoke too much," he says in a low tone.

And then you react too.

"No, no," you quickly say, "I-I..." you lick your lips, having no idea if what you'll say is good or bad, because you really don't know what to say, "I'm relieved you got it off your chest with me."

He shakes his head as he places a hand on his chin, looking off into the horizon.

"That's not even half of what's going on."

You press your lips together, getting an idea of what it might be about now that he's told you about it. And you let out a long sigh, still processing it and keeping in mind that he should let it all out.

"So it's all about your father and his business," you say softly.

And he nods, turning his head slightly to look at you over his shoulder. And you notice the mixture of weariness and disdain he finally shows on his face now that he's told you about the situation he's trapped in.

"My father has worked for years to secure his empire and his legacy," he says with a certain heavy tone, "And by partnering with Borros Baratheon, he strengthens and elevates his entire business."

He explains briefly.

"For him, this is an opportunity he cannot pass up and my relationship with Floris will make that partnership happen."

'Of course.'

You think with obviousness and bitterness reflecting on your face, as you briefly shake your head.

You're not even Floris but you just can't help but put yourself in her shoes, even though you don't like her and consider her a horrible person.

But if you were her.... you really wouldn't want to be in a relationship like that. Much less a relationship where all the time you are showing off in front of people when the harsh reality is otherwise.

"And does she know?" you ask quietly and cautiously, "Floris?"

To your surprise, he nods. And you don't know if that makes it all worse.

"She must have an idea about it," he replies in a more distant tone, "Maybe she doesn't quite admit it, but... no one can be so blind as not to notice."

You feel a knot form in your chest and can't help but watch him with a mixture of pity and understanding.

And he looks back at you for a second, so you try to keep a neutral face instantly, and then he continues talking with a frustrated look on his face, venting.

"And somehow, she thinks that can change. That she can try to make us both have something real, but..." he shakes his head, his tone turning sour, "From the beginning I didn't want to do any of this. It wasn't my decision because she doesn't interest me in that way."

He confesses and you listen to him with full attention.

"And it feels bad... it feels bad to see her trying to change that knowing the reality of things. And then I feel guilty..." he points to himself, "For not being able to reciprocate her feelings when I see her trying to do something that's not going to work."

And once again, you can't help but feel bad for Floris as the silence falls again between the two of you.

You remain silent, because you absorb his words. As these same words hang in the air, but at the same time, you feel that something important has been shared.

He sighs, as if the breeze could carry some of his burden away and the sound of the ocean enveloping him could protect him. He has let his guard down.

He has shown a part of himself that he probably won't show anyone else.

And while you don't fully understand what he's going through, you understand his words and how everything is defined by duty and by the expectations others have of him.

And in some ways, that hurts you for him. And those expectations and the weight of duty are too strong to go away so easily.

"And you haven't tried to...like .... really give her a chance?"

He shakes his head again.

"It's hard when the people around you let you know the real person she is," he says in a distant tone.

You let out a long breath, looking away from him for a moment, and then with smooth, nonchalant movements, you pull your feet out of the water, shake them off and stand up from where you are sitting.

You're not sure what you're doing, but you decide to approach him, even if it's just a little to make him feel that he's not alone.

Even so, you do it calmly and without very aggressive movements, since you don't want to scare him or make him feel that you are invading his space. And you place yourself next to him, also leaning on the wooden railing just like him.

You glance sideways at him for a moment before turning your gaze back to the horizon.

"And what do you really want?" you ask softly and with genuine curiosity.

He turns his head slightly towards you and notices your closeness, which, fortunately and surprisingly, doesn't scare him, since strangely, your presence... doesn't seem uncomfortable nor does it bother him.

Maybe it is the way you are listening to him, really listening to him and offering him a space where he can express himself without being judged, without expectations and without objections, that makes him not back down, stay and open up, even a little, for the first time in a long time.

But your question, makes that doubt appear on his face again for a moment, turning his gaze forward, feeling a little insecure behind his firm and controlled facade.

It's been a long time since he's been asked that question. In fact... he's never been asked it. And he doesn't know how to answer it.

"It's not about what I really want, Y/N. It's about what's expected of me."

You shake your head.

"But that's not fair, Aemond."

"In my life rarely anything is."

"But then what do you really want?" you ask again, your tone insistent and firmer, "Forget about your father and your whole family for a second," you say, "What I'm asking you right now, here, with no one around, just you and me... what do you really want in your life, Aemond?"

Your words float in the air and the silence that follows is deep, almost palpable.

You watch as he closes his eye for a moment, as if searching deep within himself for an answer he has buried beneath layers of other people's expectations. And when he wants to say something, he opens his mouth, but then stops, hesitant, unsure.

Yet he has the answer.

Until he lets out a sigh and for the first time looks directly at you, his expression softer, almost vulnerable, but not completely, just... a sincere expression.

And as if he's preparing to say something he hadn't allowed himself to say out loud before.

"I want to go to medical school in Oldtown," he finally says quietly but with a firmness he hadn't had before, "That's what I really want."

And you can't help but place a small but soft smile in his direction, relieved that he's finally talking it out.

"I've always been interested in it. I've always wanted... to do something meaningful, something that really matters. Not just for me, but for other people."

He admits, his tone vulnerable but determined.

"But...I've never told anyone, much less my dad. Because I know he'll never care and probably just laugh about it."

He pauses for a moment, as his mind seems to wander between memories and frustrations built up over the years.

"I don't want to do anything he tells me," he continues, his jaw tense. "I don't want to be with Floris. She... I don't know, she deserves someone else," he says with a shrug, "And I just... I want peace and freedom to be myself."

He confesses.

"I want to be able to choose my own path and live without feeling like I'm letting everyone around me down, that..." he sighs, "That's all I want."

You feel the strength and longing in his words. You're so engrossed in listening to him and watching him that you barely notice that the two of you are getting closer and closer.

And you don't really know him, clearly for obvious reasons, but you know that this Aemond Targaryen right now is different. He is not the man who always seems to be in control of everything.

No, the Aemond in front of you is someone who just wants to be free.

He looks back at you and you see that silent wish that he wants so badly to come true. And he may not tell you directly, but in that moment he realizes that this is what he has been looking for, unconsciously, someone who will listen to him, understand him, and stand by his side without judgment.

"And I know it sounds stupid," he mutters, averting his gaze, "It's impossible. But... yeah, that's what I want."

You press your lips together.

"Don't say that. It's not stupid," you assure him in a soft tone, "It's your dreams. Your true aspirations. And no one has any right to take that away from you. Not even your father."

The silence that follows your words is soft but heavy at the same time. You both stand still, absorbing the weight of the words you have just spoken.

You because you understand that no one should make less of your feelings or thoughts and Aemond because no one had really said those words to him before.

But also, he feels the tension in his shoulders return and he suddenly feels so vulnerable and exposed, something he's not at all used to and all because he trusted you with something intimate about him and his family.

He shifts slightly where he stands, uncomfortable, and you notice this, how his expression gradually closes, slowly turning back to his usual hard, impenetrable mask.

Then you understand that perhaps he is worried that you have seen his weakness, something no one else has seen. But what he's shared with you doesn't make you feel a kind of power over him now, at all.

So you decide to do something genuine too: share with him.

You take a deep breath, not because you're hesitating, but because talking about your past always brings a slight pressure to your chest, but you really want to do it.

"You know..." you begin in a soft tone, "I understand what it's like to have a dream... something you love deeply and want to achieve, even if circumstances aren't always on your side."

Aemond turns to you, his blue-gray eye catching your gaze.

"I've always wanted to study Literature," you confess with a small smile, "Writing, reading... I've always been passionate about it. And while I know it may seem impractical to many, my mom always supported me. She believed in me and believed that one day I could work in a big publishing house and maybe, even publish something of my own."

A small nostalgic smile forms on your lips as you look out over the ocean and remember those conversations you had with her, those days talking about books, characters and imaginary worlds.

Then you turn your gaze back to him and realize that he is actually listening to you, watching you intently, which gives you courage to continue.

"My dad couldn't make it to that stage of my life," you add later and bite your lips for a few moments, "He died when I was little from cancer."

You are surprised at yourself, as you have never been able to say those words before. And if you did, you would burst into tears, but in this moment... surprisingly you don't break down.

"He was everything to us and when he left... well, everything changed and things got a little difficult," you continue, "My mom did everything she could until we moved here because she could no longer maintain us in Nevada and my aunt and uncle took us in."

You pause for breath, feeling the emotion building up in your throat, but you manage to remain calm. And Aemond continues to listen to you attentively, without interrupting and with his posture again relaxed.

"Until a year ago, my mom also became ill with lung disease," you continue finally, watching the horizon, "We all did everything we could but she also passed away."

You are silent for a moment, feeling the weight of your words in the air.

You think about how you hadn't talked about this with many people, and you certainly didn't think you would with someone like Aemond. But now, here, with him listening to you in the same way you listened to him, you feel that maybe it was something you needed to share.

He doesn't say anything at first, but you see the slight gleam of compassion in his eye.

"I'm so sorry," he murmurs sincerely.

You take a deep breath and nod, though you try not to let the sadness wash over you completely. You don't want the moment to become too dark.

"I'm fine," you reply softly, "Despite everything that's happened, I haven't stopped wanting to study Literature or work hard to achieve that someday."

You look up at him, finding his attention fixed on you.

"And you can do the same, Aemond," you add softly. "I know it's not easy. I know your situation is... complicated and that your father is... a dick," you joke a little, though it's the truth, "But there's always a way out. You may not see it now, but it exists. You just have to find it and you have to fight for it."

Aemond watches you silently for a moment, processing what you just said. His eyes soften slightly and you look at him with a warm, reassuring gaze, assuring him of your words.

Then, you feel as if something changes between you two.

Both have shared something important, something that has allowed them to understand each other better and to unburden themselves in their own way. And you both stand there, thoughtful, looking at the horizon with the sea wind blowing softly.

You feel a little less weight on your shoulders. And maybe, just maybe, Aemond feels the same way too.

"Thank you for listening to me," he says, in a soft murmur, watching you, "I really appreciate it."

A small smile settles on your lips and you watch him with all the sincerity in your eyes.

"I know we don't know each other but you don't have to face all this alone," you say then nod in his direction, "So I'll be here if you need me."

And you both stand there, sharing a moment of peace that neither of you had anticipated, just like the first time you both met on this pier.

A rich guy from Crown's and a poor girl from Black Waves, neither you nor he would have imagined it, but here you are... it's a reality and a relief at the same time.

And the feeling of regret doesn't come at any time.

You assume you've both already let out what you wanted, so after you both stay in that comforting silence for a few more moments, and then you watch the time on your screen and let out a long breath.

"I don't want to get emotional..." you start to say, breaking the silence, "But you do know that we both have to go back to our respective worlds and pretend we don't know each other, right?"

He can't help but smile a little, understanding exactly what you mean and can't help but feel a slight twinge of disappointment, as do you.

"Yeah, I'm aware," he tells you softly, watching you.

You observe him with a resigned look, without erasing the small smile on your lips.

"Here," you point to his pocket with your gaze, "I'll give you my number."

That gets his attention and he turns to stand before you, reaching into his pocket.

"Are you sure?"

"Are you?" you joke, smiling, "Come on, it's no big deal."

He takes it, unlocks it in a quick gesture and holds it out to you, to which you take it and... you don't know what to do for a moment.

Sure enough, it's an IPhone, the kind of phone that only rich people like him can afford because of it's high price. While you look at it and feel sorry for your old phone of a different model and that the touch is barely functional due to the time you've had it.

"Whatever you need, within my possibilities..." you say as you add yourself to his contacts, "Or if you need to talk, about anything, just text or call me."

You extend it back to him and watch him, as he's already watching you and picks up his phone, putting it back in his pocket, having no idea what to say for a moment.

"Okay," he murmurs, his voice low but clear.

You nod again, saying nothing more, with reality starting to get to you. So you clear your throat softly and let out a sigh.

"Well, I... I should be going now," you say, "I have to work early tomorrow."

Aemond's expression changes for an instant, not expecting you to leave so soon. And he straightens up completely, pulling his arms away from the railing.

"I can drive you home," he offers suddenly, not even him thinking before he speaks, but wanting to.

And that takes you by surprise for a moment, but then you shake your head.

"No, no, that's okay," you reply, "Thanks but I don't want to bother you."

He frowns.

"It's no bother," he insists more gently, "I can drive you, really."

You look out over the horizon for a moment, feeling the cool ocean air caress your face. And you really appreciate the offer but he needs to stay here.

After all he shared with you, he needs to still feel this peace and quiet of the place.

“No, thank you, you…” you try not to look rude, ”You need to stay here. You need it,” you tell him, "It will do you good, trust me," you assure him, ‘I'll see you another time."

You wave goodbye as you turn away, with a slight smile.

"Take care."

He watches you as you walk away, your soft but firm footsteps echoing lightly against the wood. The feeling of this summer night envelops you both, but both of you also feel this sense of something incomplete but meaningful between the two of you.

You think that for the first time, you realize that Aemond Targaryen, even where he comes from, all that he has and all that he will have in the future, he is not so different from you.

And he doesn't tell you that, in fact he hadn't thought or felt it before but now, as you slowly disappear from his sight, he realizes he is glad that you appeared on the pier almost at the same time as he did.

“Remind me why we have to do this.”

Alysanne's annoyed and upset voice makes you watch her and you smile in amusement as you watch her struggle with the buttons on her work shirt.

“Because we need the money to help your parents,” you say, brushing back your hair, “We also need to be able to buy our own things and also because we need to save up to go to college.”

These are valid enough reasons for both of you, but you both can't help but complain.

“I hate Mr. Frey, I hate him so much,” she mumbles.

“Think about the money, Aly.”

“That doesn't make me hate him any less. I haven't even been able to enjoy the summer like I'd really like to.”

Well, that's true, this summer has started out different and not how you both planned, but there's nothing you can do about it.

“And speaking of that…” she again says, “There's a party tonight. At Sunsets Pier. I think the Stark's and the Arryn's set it all up or something like that Cregan said but the point is, everyone can go.”

“Ugh, no,” you quickly say, making a face, “I've been to enough parties in such a short time.”

“What are you talking about!” she exclaims to you incredulously, ”There will be free food and drinks, live music and lamp shows or something.”

“They do the lamp show almost all the time,” you remind her without emotion.

“But everything else is free!”

You let out a long breath.

“I'm not in the mood to go. Especially not when I have to endure Mr. Frey most of the day and we only get one day off from him and his exploitative job.”

“Ugh, you're so boring,” she scowls at you as she watches you through the mirror and finishes fixing her shirt.

You make sure your keys, wallet and phone are in your small bag, then stare at the screen.

“Okay, time to go or we'll be late,” you let her know.

She lets out a whimper.

“I don't want to work anymore,” she whines like a little girl.

A few minutes later, you both arrive at the restaurant on time and immediately get to work, with Mr. Frey's eyes watching your every move like a killer gargoyle ready to jump at the slightest mistake.

And both you and Alysanne do the same as always.

Take the order, bring the food, clear tables as soon as they are empty, reorganize, clean up again, bring the customers anything they ask for in case they are missing, be available to them at all times and in some cases charge them.

And while you do everything automatically, totally used to it after a while, in the middle of it all you can't help but get lost in your thoughts and think about him.

It makes sense when it hasn't even been twenty-four hours, but… you really can't help it and you can't get him out of your mind. The way he talked to you about his frustrations, shared with you his dreams, his longings and the way he paid attention to you too… his look, his eyes… it all invades your mind.

And foolishly, you can't help but wonder if he's thinking about it too… about you. Although you just wish you weren't the only one feeling this way.

You also wonder when you'll see him again, but the thought of imagining it, thrills you, makes your heart race and makes you realize you want that to happen soon, which you never imagined such a feeling you could feel for Aemond Targaryen himself, of all people.

But then the restaurant gets more crowded as the evening goes on and you have to be more attentive and active.

You and Alysanne move back and forth, keeping busy with everything you have to do, even with Mr. Frey making sure neither of you slows down for a second, being so annoying.

And then, as you're finishing clearing a table, the sound of the doors of the place opening makes you watch the new customers almost automatically and your question of when you'll see Aemond again is answered in that instant.

Your heart stops for a second and you see him, entering the restaurant, joined by his family, the Targaryens.

You immediately recognize Alicent Hightower from all the magazine covers where she has appeared with her husband, always so elegant and majestic.

And where Mr. Frey, upon seeing her, attends to her himself with all the kindness and cordiality possible, allowing her to enter his restaurant as if she were the most important person in the whole world.

Next to her, you identify Helaena, which is not impossible because of her delicate and beautiful appearance, besides her silver hair, of course. With them also comes the youngest of the siblings, Daeron.

And at the end is him.

With his firm posture and the same serious, impenetrable look as always, he scans the whole place without much importance, when his gaze meets yours.

You again feel your heart skip a beat and trying to look busy, you instantly avert your gaze, pretending to be busy with something at the cash register.

You try to focus, but now that he has also seen you and now knows where exactly you work, it causes a wave of nerves to wash over you and your hands begin to tremble slightly, especially since you feel his gaze on you.

Luckily, they choose a table on the terrace, with a view of the sea, so the only thing that separates you are the large windows and the glass doors, although he can easily see you through them and you can easily see him too.

And it's a strange feeling to have him there, so close, in the same space, but behaving as if you don't know him.

Fortunately, it's Mr. Frey himself who takes their order and then it's Alysanne's turn to bring them the food, so you breathe a sigh of relief and stop feeling a little tense.

Time goes by and you can't help it, while you do your job, you watch his family and him out of the corner of your eye.

Mrs. Alicent has such a natural and perfect elegance and demeanor, looking even kind. Helaena seems more oblivious to everything, but you also notice that she is very close to her mother. While Daeron is more carefree and Aemond… he doesn't talk much but he looks more relaxed.

Even watching him here in the restaurant, he also maintains that hard-to-read expression.

What he shared with you last night is still fresh in your mind and you can't help but wonder how he is able to maintain that facade under constant family pressure.

You finish delivering the food to one of the tables that is, not close to his but not too far away either and then, out of inertia, you go back to watching him and he is already watching you.

Nervous, but with a blank stare, you look away again.

You both act as if you don't know each other, as if last night on the pier never happened. And though it hurts a little, you know it's the right thing to do.

Here, in the crowd and in front of everyone's eyes, especially those of his family, there's no room for that connection the two of you had last night.

Then minutes pass, then an hour and they're gone.

It makes no difference though, as you continue to work, keeping busy and distracted. Alysanne in a few small breaks tries to convince you to go to the party at the pier but you continue to refuse, as apparently the customers are also talking about that.

But you don't have the courage or the energy to be among a lot of people.

Finally, after the long hours have passed, both of you finish your shift and it's time to go home.

Clearly neither of you are allowed to use your phones during your shift, so when you hold it in your hands and turn on the screen, the first thing you see is a message from an unknown number.

But you instantly recognize who it is and a silly little smile appears on your lips as you read the message: Tonight?

You see the time and realize that he sent it to you at the time when he was at the restaurant, so you quickly reply without thinking: I'll be there.

You knew that if you told Alysanne that you were going to the pier now not so forbidden, she would kill you.

First she would start complaining and demanding you to know why you want to go to the pier and not to the party with her.

And you don't want to tell her yet about everything that's been happening with Aemond because even you don't know.

So you preferred to save yourself the nagging and all the questions, you also wait for her to leave and once she does, you also leave the house.

So now once again you have successfully managed to jump over the wall and you head towards the pier, where in the distance you can see the figure of Aemond at the end, with the smoke of his typical cigarette floating around him, looking towards the horizon.

Once again you can't help but start to feel excited and a little nervous, having no idea what the two of you will be talking about tonight, but you assume he just wants some company and honestly you want that too.

So feeling more confident, you start to walk onto the pier, with all the anticipation and excitement coursing through your body, unable to help the small smile on your lips.

"Hey, stranger."

You speak when he's a few feet away from you and he turns, incorporating his whole body to watch you and when he does, a confused little smile appears on his lips.

"Stranger?"

"Yeah, you know, because we have to pretend in front of everyone that we don't know each other," you say with an amused smile, positioning yourself next to him, "I brought marshmallows," you raise the bag in your hands.

He throws his cigarette away, frowning.

"Marshmallows?"

"Yeah, I... I don't know, I thought if you want, we can go to the beach and have a bonfire and eat these," you suggest, "But only if you want," you hasten to add.

Aemond stays quiet, watching your face and then the bag of marshmallows in your hands, watching as you have a slight hope that he'll say yes.

And it makes him feel a little weird since he's never done that before. Not even with Helaena.

But... that you planned this when he was the one who asked you to come without having any plans in mind other than the two of you sitting here and watch the ocean, it surprises him because as simple as the idea is, it's something out of the ordinary for him.

And because of that, it's why he doesn't reject the plan and nods in your direction.

"Let's do it."

You both walk back to the beach, where you don't stray far from the pier actually, and he leads you to a section where his family has firewood, so you both start carrying it to the shore to make the bonfire.

And actually, for a few moments, neither of you talk about anything. It's just both of you being in each other's company, not at all awkward and not at all weird.

Then you look further out, specifically in the direction of Sunset's Pier. It's not like this upscale section of Crown's is too far from the downtown pier, as you can see the decorative lights and people moving around from here.

"You know about the party going on right now at Sunset's Pier?" you decide to ask Aemond, as the two of you finish stacking all the firewood at the specific spot.

He shakes his hands and squats down as you take a seat on a trunk, then look out at the pier and all those people in the distance.

"Yeah," he replies in a soft tone, "My brother was trying to convince me all day to go with him and his friends," he says and then pulls out his lighter.

"My cousin too," you say, watching as he begins to light a section on fire, then watching him slightly confused, "Why didn't you want to go with him?"

He seems to think about it for a moment as the fire begins to spread all over the kindling, then looks at you with a soft gaze.

"I wanted to come here."

You watch him back for a few seconds without saying anything, and then he turns his gaze back to the fire, while you have the bag of marshmallows ready to open it in your lap.

“And you, why didn't you want to go with your cousin?” he decides to ask you too.

“Hum…” you shake your head as you take the sticks to roast the marshmallows and start preparing them, “I didn't feel like it. Besides… working at the restaurant already sucks enough energy out of me.”

Oh no.

You didn't want to talk about what happened at the restaurant and yet you brought up the subject. Mostly because you feel embarrassed and you don't even know why.

And he lets out a slight sound, a small nod of understanding as he watches the fire, his gaze getting lost in the flames.

“That was weird, huh?”

You watch him without saying anything for a few seconds, frowning slightly at him and thinking about it, since you don't know exactly what he's referring to, but he speaks again.

“Pretending not to know you,” he explains and your gaze softens, ”It was weird after last night.”

You look away from him for a moment as the wind gently blows your hair and the breeze hits your whole face.

“Yeah,” you admit, ‘It was a little weird,’ you say as you hold out his stick with the marshmallow, ”I didn't think you'd show up there, to be honest.”

He takes the stick and gets up to take a seat next to you on the trunk once the bonfire is finally fully lit.

“I didn't think you'd work there either,” he says and along with you, places the marshmallow on the fire, "I even wanted to say hi to you but…" he shrugs as you listen carefully, ”I don't know, maybe it would have been weird or something.”

You nod, as you both wait for the marshmallow to be ready.

“Yeah, I get it.”

The bonfire crackles, with the sound of the ocean enveloping you, and you both stand for a moment in silence, enjoying the marshmallows and the simple company of each other.

You enjoy his company and he enjoys yours, especially since with you he doesn't have to talk about anything specific. And everything is just quieter and simpler… just the way he prefers it.

So you both stay there, in this quiet corner by the seashore, it couldn't be more perfect and necessary, with the distant and barely audible echo of the music and the party on the pier.

When he breaks the silence again, watching you curiously.

“What's it like working at the restaurant?”

“Oh,” you think about it for a moment, not expecting that question but having no problem answering, "Well, do you want the short version or the long version?" you joke.

He shrugs, a small smile on his lips.

“Either is fine.”

“It's just that let's just say that if it weren't for the need to save and buy my own things, I would have quit a long time ago.”

You explain, making yourself comfortable and he listens attentively beside you.

“My boss, Mr. Frey is… hum…” you also think about it for a moment, “Well, there's no other way to put it but he's a dick. I have to put up with his poor treatment without complaining and watch as he always makes sure everyone knows he's in control.”

“He seems like a nice guy,” he says wryly and you smile.

“Yes, he is, believe me,” you reply sarcastically, “But you know… sometimes there's no choice but to bear it out of necessity.”

You know…

Aemond blinks and your words are left bouncing around in his mind.

No. The truth is, he doesn't. He's never had the need to work.Because while you face the demands of a despot boss, he lives in a world of privilege and comfort, used to people doing everything for him.

But somehow he understands what you mean. The two may have different lifestyles but you both understand each other.

You both watch the flames in silence, in a comfortable silence, broken only by the crackle of the fire and the sound of the waves, just as the mingled smell of burnt marshmallows reaches your nostrils along with the salty air.

And then, suddenly, you have an idea.

You put on a small smile and that spark of spontaneity appears in your whole being, as well as that impulse, so you stand up and Aemond next to you looks at you curiously.

“Shall we go for a swim?” you ask casually, as if it were the most normal thing in the world in the middle of the night.

“What?” he looks at you clearly bewildered.

“Come on,” you insist, giving him a playful smile, “Let's go swimming.”

He shakes his head, looking out at the ocean a few feet away from the two of you to look back at you.

“You want to go swimming right now in the ocean at night?”

“Yeah,” you shrug, ”I've done it before.”

“Don't you know how dangerous that is?”

“Oh come on, it's not a big deal and we won't go far,” you try to convince him.

“These are the only clothes I have,” he points to himself.

“Me too,” you say with a laugh as you start to take off your tennis shoes, determined, “Just leave them here, come on, it'll be fun.”

He looks at you as if you've just lost your mind, doubtful, but there's something about your enthusiasm that's contagious, something that invites him to leave his inhibitions behind.

And when he least expects it, you're already heading for the shore, stripping off your clothes. Then he finally sighs and stands up, taking off his shirt.

You laugh excitedly as he joins in and you leave your clothes on the sand, stepping into the ocean. The water is cold at first contact, but not too much. So you jump in in one motion, only to turn around and look at Aemond.

“Come on!” you encourage him.

“This is a bad idea!” he tells you from where he stands, stepping in with slow, cautious movements.

You laugh and encourage him again, moving your arms and hands, letting the salty water envelop you completely.

Then, as he sees you, slowly that wariness inside him fades and with more liberal movements, he moves to your side and you begin to splash him, laughing, causing him to let go and stop thinking for a moment.

He starts splashing you too and then you realize that it is such an out of place moment and so unlike anything you had imagined you could do with him, but at the same time it feels so natural and almost liberating.

And Aemond, he lets himself be carried by the waves, because even though the darkness of the ocean can be intimidating, he feels a kind of peace that he didn't expect to find here.

“See?” you observe him with a small smile, ”It's liberating.”

He floats on the water, gazing for a moment out beyond the ocean and then the Sunset's pier in the distance with a soft, thoughtful look.

“Yeah,” he says as if in a whisper, acknowledging that.

You hang suspended in the water, watching him for a moment, unable to help yourself.

The moonlight bathes his face, highlighting his features and his slightly damp silver hair. You also see how the muscles in his shoulders relax with each breath and the sensation of the water, also looking at his bare chest and his skin glowing from the light and the water, giving him a crystalline and totally captivating effect.

The silver chain he wears around his bare neck also catches your attention, shimmering slightly with every movement.

His eyes, his lips, his nose, his look…. in all of him there is something primal and irresistible that makes you can't stop looking at him and your thoughts begin to dissipate uncontrollably.

Then he looks back at you and you try to look unaffected, as if you don't have a lump in your throat and this feeling in your stomach, smiling softly in his direction and then looking around, trying to control your thoughts.

'He has a girlfriend, remember?'

Your mind tells you too.

'It's not a real relationship, though.'

Okay, maybe it was a bad idea to convince him to swim when the man looks like this.

He tells you to swim some more and you both let the salty water envelop your bodies, with the full, bright moon above, illuminating the surface and creating a silvery path stretching to the horizon.

You also watch the stars, twinkling above you both, creating a celestial spectacle.

The water begins to feel warm, like a gentle caress on your skin. And as you swim together, you can feel her skin brush against yours, both of you not straying far from each other.

Until again you both hover and your gaze meets his, both the moonlight bathing your face and his, creating shadows and contours that accentuate features.

“This is nice,” he tells you, in a low murmur.

“Yeah, I know.”

His eyes are still on you, beyond simple observation.

There's something else, an intensity you can't help but feel. Aemond is not the kind of person to leave his thoughts out in the open for all to see because he is reserved, cautious.

But now, he seems to be letting a part of himself be seen, as if for once he's lowering his defenses… being with you.

A comfortable silence settles between the two of you, interrupted only by the soft splashing you both make in the water and the murmur of the waves.

You allow yourself to lose yourself in the depth of his eyes, in that intense blue-gray. And you can't help but let your mind wander to the slight closeness of his body to yours.

The softness of his voice and the way he looks at you… it hypnotizes you and makes you think something might be.

When then, you jump unexpectedly and startled where you find yourself floating, looking down at the surface of the dark water as if you can see through it, breaking the magical moment.

“Oh no, no, wait, something touched my foot!” you exclaim in panic.

“What?” he quickly says to you, his face showing a mixture of concern and confusion.

“Ew! I don't know but it felt… gross,” you babble, shaking your legs in the water as if you can push away whatever it was that touched you.

“Hey, hey,” he says, moving closer to you, his voice low but comforting, ”Easy.”

“I think we should go back,” you look at the shore and then at him worriedly.

But Aemond doesn't look frightened or perturbed, just serene. And he moves even closer, his hand reaching for yours underwater.

“Easy, easy,” he murmurs, his voice soft but sure as his arm goes around your waist, pulling you to him, ”I've got you.”

The strength and security with which he holds you seems to anchor you to reality, and without hesitation, you instinctively place your feet around his torso and your arms around his neck as you cling to him, feeling his firm body hold you completely.

Aemond looks at you, his eyes serious but with a soft glow, as if the distance between you had never existed.

”I've got you,” he repeats, this time in a lower whisper, his breath caressing your cheek as his hands hold you firmly, but at the same time gently.

You watch him with parted lips, as the water continues to gently sway around you, but it's as if everything has stopped, except for the racing beat of your heart and the warmth of the touch of his skin against yours.

And just like that, whatever it was that scared you no longer matters to you anymore the moment the foreheads of the two of you brush and slowly draw closer together.

Now you're both breathing hard, but it's not from the effort of swimming, it's the closeness. And it shows in the gentle press of each other's foreheads, in the way the breaths mix in the night, in the way their lips are dangerously close.

Neither of the two of you knows exactly what it is that you're doing and why, but it's inevitable. Something in the air, the magic of the night, the intimacy of the moment… it all leads you to this point.

You watch his lips, desiring it, and Aemond watches yours too, and then you both look into each other's eyes again, so close.

And then it happens.

Slowly, almost as if both of you are afraid to break the charm of the moment, your lips connect with his. At first it is a soft touch, barely a touch, as if tasting the flavor of each other, but soon the softness transforms into something deeper, more urgent.

His arms around your waist pull you even closer to him, as you cling to his neck.

The kiss intensifies, your mouths meeting in a slow but passionate dance, as if you've both been waiting for this moment for a long time, without even knowing it.

The feel of his hands on your skin, the heat emanating from his body, makes everything else disappear. The moon is still shining above you, the stars are still twinkling in the sky, but now there is only this instant.

His lips move over yours with a tenderness you didn't expect, but also with a passion that takes your breath away.

The softness of his mouth against yours and the warmth of his hands firmly holding you, makes you place a hand on his cheek and tilt your head to kiss him more deeply.

But suddenly, a rumble echoes through the sky.

You jump slightly, the sound interrupting the moment abruptly, and both of you stop the kiss as you turn at the same time towards the sky, confused by the noise.

When then, a burst of multicolored lights floods the night sky, followed by another explosive sound. And you watch in wonder at the fireworks, illuminating the horizon with flashes of red, green, gold and all colors.

The sparkles reflect off the ocean, painting the water with brilliant traces of color, as the party on the Sunset's pier is in full bloom.

And you guess that Alysanne didn't mean a lamp show, but fireworks.

Aemond also watches the show in the sky, then watches you again, both of you closer than ever and surprised by what just happened, both the kiss and the fireworks.

You watch him back, too, still surprised, your lips still warm from the recent contact, your heart still pounding in your chest.

And for a few seconds, you both stay like that, just watching each other under the fireworks, your bodies still entwined in the water, while the colors continue to dance in the sky.

But then, without much thought, as if it were the most natural thing in the world, you lean into him again, your lips finding his once more, unable to help yourself.

And he reciprocates with the same need and gentleness, the kiss being more determined and firmer.

His arms wrap tighter around you, and you feel him pull you to him, closing any space between you. The water sways gently around you, but neither of you notice. Only the kiss matters, the warmth and the connection that has been reignited.

The salty taste of the sea on your lips and the sensation of his breath mixing with yours make it all feel intensely real and at the same time, almost like a dream.

His lips move with yours in a slow, deep dance, as the fireworks continue to explode in the sky, their distant sound almost becoming a melody.

But it's as if all that show is just a backdrop for what's happening between the two of you, the two of you kissing… under the moon.

series taglist:

@zenka69 @strangersunghoon @deliaseastar @thefireblaze @kythefangirl25 @p45510n4f4shi0n @saturnssrings @bellaisasleep @primroseluna @tinykryptonitewerewolf @barnes70stark @tssf-imagines

[thismousedraws]

I got to draw Malon for the The Legend of Zelda cookbook zine Homemade in Hyrule! I really loved the idea of her setting up a stall in the market in Castle Town, and I had a lot of fun filling her stall with all sort of cute things. It's one of my favourite pieces that i've ever made!!

Early mornings are some of my favourite times of day. There is a sort of indescribable peace that comes with a crisp morning air before the sun wakes all the way up. The chatter of birds, and the calm. I really wanted to capture this serene feeling. I have so much art to share with you all very soon! I always say I'll remember to post more on Tumblr, but I do indeed forget. Going to do my best to make it a strong habit.

[wheeboo]

you ask for soft thoughts and i deliver:

imagine you’re on the phone w ur parents (idk) and they ask you abt ur relationship w bf!joshua, and conveniently he gives you a backhug and then just nuzzles his face into the crook of your neck and gives you cute lil kisses🥺🥺🥺DJAIAUAKAIAI ty and good bye

JSDLKJASKD RACHELLLLDLLLLL im gonna bury myself deep in a hole and sob

just imagine something like:

"so... has he proposed yet?!"

you nearly choke at that, letting out an ugly snort at your mother's words through the phone. you can quite literally sense the excitement in her voice, having to bite back the smile that was beginning to form across your face.

"mom," you deadpan airly. "you can't just ask that."

"why not?" your mother counters teasingly. "you're both high school sweethearts. it's only a matter of time, don't you think?"

you roll your eyes at that. "mom, i promise you'll be the first to know when it happens." then you pick your head up, sneakily glancing around the room for a few moments. "we're just enjoying each other's company right now, okay? there's no rush."

"i know, honey," your mother sighs on the other end. "i'm just so happy you've found someone like him. you deserve your happiness. it's been a while since i've seen you smile so brightly."

your lips tug upwardly meekly at that. indeed, after many trials and tribulations, you may have finally reached the point in your life where being happy is as easy as breathing. it's a feeling that still surprises you sometimes--just how effortlessly joy seems to flow into your life now. you used to think happiness was something you had to chase, but with joshua, it reaches you.

"thanks, mom," you say wistfully. "i really love being around him. it's like--"

your words briefly cut off when a pair of arms sneaks around your waist, causing heat to shoot up your neck and for you to let out a small gasp into the phone.

the man in question just simply smirks, leaning his face in so that his lips meet the nape of your neck oh so gently. your heart does a leap in your chest.

"i'm so happy for you, sweetheart," your mom says on the other line. "also, when are you free? your father and i would love to stop by to have lunch some time. would this weekend be okay possibly?"

"yeah, um..." it's hard to form coherent words when joshua is practically nuzzling his face in your neck, the tiniest contact of his lips to the skin there sending tingles to run up and down your body. "i'll text you my schedule. tell dad i said hi, okay?"

"of course," your mother replies warmly. "i'll call you later, then. i love you!"

"i love you too, mom. bye!" after hanging up, comfortable silence floats around the room, and joshua's embrace still has yet to loosen around you. "shua."

no response, a few more kisses on planted on your neck, then a quiet, "hmm..?"

"what are you doing?"

"hugging you." a pause. a kiss lands at your shoulder now. "and kissing you."

"i can see that." you giggle lightly, shifting your position so that you were facing him now. you blink dazedly at him. "hi."

"hi, angel," joshua says softly, gazing at you with a look of pure affection. "you're beautiful."

you don't know how you haven't melted in his arms yet. even as something as small as a simple shower of affection causes your knees to weaken, yet brings this indescribable comfort to wrap around your heart like a safe haven. nothing but a soft, somewhat unintelligible thank you escapes you.

joshua just lets his eyes roam over your features, taking you in like it's the first time he's seeing you, his thumb brushing over your cheek tenderly.

"can you finish what you were saying earlier?" he asks.

you lift a questioning brow. "what did i--oh..." then you give it a bit of thought, before your face softens and a smile starts to bloom across your lips. "it feels like home. you feel like home."

perhaps there's a twinkle in joshua's eyes that you spot, or it's just the moonlight from outside spilling into the room. maybe it's the universe's way of showing you a glimpse of the future--your future together--and you can't help but wonder if he's envisioning the same future you are.

he blissfully kisses you just a few moments later, forcing giggles to spill out of you at the unexpected sweetness.

"is that you're way of saying you feel the same way?" you ask once you pull away.

joshua hums. "maybe," his eyes shift between your eyes and lips. "or maybe i just like seeing you smile."

"i guess i should keep smiling then."

"you do that," he responds quietly, slowly leaning back in to kiss you once again. "and i'll keep doing this."

[kurogane2512]

Ningguang Birthday 2024

Happy birthday mommy Ningguang!! 😩❤️ Sorry I'm late but sdifhwoeifh

18+ CONTENT

Ningguang x g!p reader (can also read as gn!reader with a dick but there are instances of female titles being used, Y/n is Traveller)

Smut and fluff (very slight drunk sex but everything is consensual, long fic)

It was a pleasant day, adorned by a warm sun and breezy wind, a perfect day to be out doing any kind of activity as many would put it. One could say it felt like the weather knew the specialty of the day and the nature lent its hand to make it perfect. The Tianquan of Liyue wasn't one to make a grand gesture of her birthday, she preferred a more private gathering with close associates and that's exactly what she had been doing for years.

But recently, after the catastrophic events that unfolded in Liyue, one even involving the destruction of the Tianquan's own home, her secretaries wanted to celebrate with a huge feast so to show their and Liyue's gratitude for their Tianquan's contributions and make her feel appreciated. They felt Ningguang's birthday was the best occasion to do so since any other separate event would attract unnecessary gossip.

While Ningguang was initially slightly displeased at the revelation- the moment the three of them invited her to the party- she eventually accepted as she could see the sincerity behind their thought and earnestness on their faces. Not to mention, it had indeed been quite a while since she attended a grand feast like this. So, here she stood at the vibrant Liuli Pavillion, dressed in her evening gown.

The guests weren't elaborate but still quite a few to make the place packed. Some of her long-time business partners were also invited alongside her family and friends. There was a lavish display of buffet for everyone to serve themselves and a proper dinner planned with her friends and family for later. Ningguang had no particular expectations or wishes for the day, the only 1 hope she had was to see a particular guest.

She thought of asking her secretaries if they had invited that person but dismissed the thought and decided to not feel bothered by it. Some time passed into the party and Ningguang felt bored now, attending to all guests was tiring and engaging in professional conversations even on her birthday wasn't something she fould pleasing but knew she had to sit through.

All of a sudden, she looked in the direction of the entrance door to see it being opened by Baishi who then followed by welcoming the new guest rather enthusiastically. Baiwen and Baixiao also joined in and seemed excited just like Baishi, Ningguang became more curious and hopeful then her eyes widened when the person finally came into view. It couldn't be, she found it hard to believe but it was true. Her one and only hope came true.

"Ms Y/n, we are so glad you could make it!" Baishi exclaimed looking at you then cleared the way for you to come in.

"Thank you for inviting me and I'm sorry for being late."

"Oh, it's fine. There's still plenty of time left, please enjoy yourself." Baiwen said.

Baishi then leaned near your ear to whisper, "Lady Ningguang will be very happy to see you. We'll try to give you two some privacy whenever possible~"

Your face flushed, "T-Thank you, that's very kind of you...."

You scratched your cheek then looked up front towards the main area and your eyes immediately met Ningguang's, it didn't even take you a moment to find her and she was also directly looking at you. The secretaries dispersed away and you slowly walked towards Ningguang, your eyes not leaving hers at all. Your body automatically moved and navigated through the space, you felt like being pulled by an indescribable force.

There was a large group of people around Ningguang who kept blabbering on and on, not even noticing that she was no longer paying attention to them. You could tell they were likely some kind of business partners, all of them trying to woo her and get some kind of benefit from her even at her own birthday party. Her secretaries had informed you in the letter about the party and guests.

"A-Ahem, excuse me, may I have a moment with the birthday girl?"

You cleared your throat and did your best to speak between the imposing group, all of them going silent at your words. They knew you were the esteemed Traveller, the Hero of Liyue, and they also knew the Tianquan held you in high regard. They had no choice but to step away and clear the way for you and Ningguang to finally meet. You smiled and moved closer to her then extended out your gift box.

"Happy birthday, Lady Ningguang. I hope you'll like this."

Ningguang was at a loss of words for a moment then regained composure and gave a gentle smile before accepting the gift, "Thank you, Y/n. It's a pleasant surprise to see you here. How's your journey been?"

"Quite well, I went to many new places but I couldn't stop from coming back here. Liyue always feels much closer to home."

Ningguang smiled wider then both of you trailed off, unsure of what to speak.

"U-Um, please enjoy the day and I hope you'll like the gift...!" you stuttered then got ready to walk away.

"Oh, I was hoping we could catch up. It's been more than a year since we met~" Ningguang attempted to stop you but you looked around and saw people giving you unpleasant stares and whispering some things.

"Ah, well, I'm here for a few days so I'll come meet you when you are free. There are many people here waiting to talk to you."

Ningguang felt dejected and soon after lots of people came in between you and her and started talking to her, practically pushing you away before Ningguang could even give an answer. You let out a sigh then went to the food section and picked up a drink with some snacks and sat at an empty table in the corner, enjoying the party in solitude while your eyes couldn't leave Ningguang.

The people surrounding her kept increasing as time went on and you could tell she was feeling quite exhausted after a while. You met Keqing and Ganyu in the party who invited you to chat and play some games together, taking your mind off Ningguang for that moment. Almost an hour passed when you came back to your table and were in mood for some more food then Baishi approached you from the back.

"Ms Y/n, we have a request for you."

"Oh, what is it?"

"Could you....help Lady Ningguang get away for some time? As in get some fresh air? She hasn't eaten anything and only keeps drinking wine, I'm afraid she's become slightly drunk and must be hungry now."

You looked at Ningguang in shock and Baishi was correct, her face seemed flushed and her eyes were hooded either out of tiredness or drunkenness. You immediately agreed to help and wasted no time to go to Ningguang. Ningguang was giggling and conversing with the people around when she saw you come near and wondered what you were up to.

You tried to find a way to join in the conversation but had scare knowledge on the topics they were discussing. You even tried to introduce new topics and stir the conversation away, even Ningguang joined you in that but others were keener on continuing their own talks and tried to push you away again. Your patience was running thin and so was Ningguang's, she was ready to act now but you spoke first.

"Ningguang, will you come with me for a moment?"

Speaking her name without a title certainly made everyone stop in their tracks and stare at you with disdain. Ningguang became amused and agreed easily, extending her hand out to join yours and you walked away together to the balcony. You closed the door behind you while Ningguang leaned on the railing with a sigh.

"Thank you for taking me away, I was going to end it on my own but I'm glad you came~"

"Oh, it's nothing much. Should I get something for you to eat? You seem like you haven't eaten at all...."

"Hmm, it's alright. I'd rather spend this moment talking with you~"

Her words were slightly slurred, likely an effect from the alcohol. She then took out a golden foldable bamboo fan and blew it on her face, wiping away some sweat and feeling the cold air.

"That fan is quite beautiful, it compliments you perfectly." you naturally commented, the words coming out on their own.

"Oh? My, have me parted so long that your gift of flattery has matured this much?~"

You blushed, "No, I'm just saying the truth. It really suits you well...."

Ningguang chuckled, "This is just a trinket I use to pass the time. I could give it to you if it strikes your fancy~"

"Oh, no, that's okay. I doubt I'd have much use of it, and I don't want to take away what's made for you."

Ningguang also lightly blushed then stepped closer to you.

"Oh, right, I'm sorry for being late, by the way. I had received the invitation yesterday only...."

"Hehe, it's okay. I can make a few guesses for the reason- the most likely one being that you were busy finding a gift and came all the way from Fontaine~"

You blinked in surprise, "How did you....?"

"I can tell from the packaging it's from Fontaine. And, I'd say I know you well enough by now to understand the kind of person you are. You were looking for something special and useful, something unique yet simple to operate so that I could use it and still be reminded of you. Am I right?~"

You stared at her in silence then chuckled, "I guess my surprise is ruined now, haha~"

"Not at all. The value and message still remains, that's what matters most to me~"

"Nothing escapes you, does it, Lady Ningguang?~"

"Hmmm.... There is one thing that keeps escaping me quite a lot, and I suppose I can never really own it as I wish~"

Her words were suspicious and you wondered if she talking about you.

"Doesn't it keep coming back to you, though?~"

"I suppose it does, and that's the only satisfaction...."

Ningguang gazed at you and extended her hand to cup your face. You were lost in each other's eyes, her ruby eyes capturing you in them and you almost leaned closer until she abruptly pulled away.

"Ahem, so, tell me, how was your journey in Fontaine? I read quite a few news pieces about the case there."

"O-Oh, it was....adventurous, to say the least. I ended up becoming a temporary attorney and fought in the court, I stayed in their underwater prison for about a month then fought a giant whale from the abyss. You know, the usual stuff~"

Ningguang chuckled at your response, "Certainly usual for you, our Hero of Teyvat~"

"Haha, this time I'm not the hero— not that I ever think I am but this time even more so. Fontaine's own people did much more, just like Liyue did in its time of crisis."

"Hmm, speaking of Fontaine's people. I read about your.... relationship with a certain individual named Navia, the President of an organization called the Spina di Rosula, if I recall correctly?"

"Oh, Navia... Yes, I did spend lot of time with her. The case was quite personally related to her so we ended up investigating together a lot. But, what did you read about us?"

"Hm, nothing much, it was an interview she gave in a newspaper. She referred to you as her partner and spoke highly of your skills and personality, it almost felt like she was smitten with you but I'll put it on the editor for making it sound more dramatic than the truth."

"That's....not untrue, yes. But we were really just friends...."

Ningguang chuckled, "Is that so? I mean, I wouldn't be surprised if she's a bit more special to you than that. There were also photos of you two being rather intimate, or I suppose such actions are quite common in Fontaine compared to Liyue~"

"No, that's not the case.... She's a great friend, for sure, but I treat her just like my other friends in Teyvat."

Ningguang's eyes perked up, "Like your other friends, hm? Am I included in that?~"

Your words were caught in your throat as you realized what she was referring to. You couldn't band her with others considering the things you did with her in the past....

Ningguang smirked and slid her finger down your cheek in a seductive manner, "Do you remember our past encounters and the things we did? Do you do that with many other people?~"

Several memories rushed to your mind, making you blush and become embarrassed. Of course, you didn't forget any of the moments. How could you? They were utterly beautiful.

"I... um... I remember everything, of course. And no, I don't do that with everybody. In fact, you are the only one...."

Ningguang seemingly didn't expect that answer but she was pleasantly surprised. She suddenly moved in front of you and pinned you against the railing, her hand holding up your chin.

"You remember we agreed to do it just once but then, every time when you came back for any purpose, we couldn't help ourselves. I wonder if tonight would be the same?~"

Her face was close to you, her breath brushing past your cheek.

"Do you want it to be?~" you replied.

Ningguang smirked and leaned down in an attempt to kiss you, "W-Wait, not here!"

Ningguang stopped but instead embraced you tightly, keeping her head near your neck, "Shame, it would have been useful to show everyone this~"

You looked behind Ningguang and spotted some people around the balcony, staring through the glass with focused eyes. You sighed but wrapped your arms around her and pulled her closer, "If you want to give them a show then just say so, I don't mind~"

Ningguang chuckled then leaned back and stepped away, "I'm tempted to, but I'd rather not. I'm quite possessive of my things, you know?~"

You smiled then she turned around to walk back inside, "I'm going to finish this up. Let's meet later, shall we?~"

You did meet later, of course. You took on the responsibility to escort her back to the Jade Chamber as her secretaries were busy winding things up and Ningguang was slightly drunk that they didn't want her to be alone. The way back to the Jade Chamber was mostly quiet and normal, Ningguang simply leaned against your arm as you helped her walk. However, the moment you stepped foot on the Jade Chamber, all hell let loose.

Ningguang was quick to wrap her arms around your neck and press her lips to yours in a heated and passionate kiss. She wasted no time to slip her tongue in and roll it with yours, moaning into the kiss while you attempted to walk inside. It was a messy affair, your steps fumbled a few times as you hurriedly kissed before finally being inside and then she pinned you against the nearest wall.

Her body squeezed you into the wall and her lips sought yours impatiently. You could have sworn you knocked down some furniture as you walked further inside but neither of you cared. Ningguang haphazardly attempted to take off your clothes, she was always quite smooth with it but today she seemed more impatient which made her movements fumble. Though, she eventually got you out of your shirt, at least.

You then pinned her on the wall once you were near her bedroom, you coulnd't wait anymore and she never said she wanted to do it in the bedroom. In fact, with the way her legs wrapped around you and her body grinded against you indicated enough that she'd do it practically anywhere. There was a hint of wine on her lips which made you slightly tipsy too, perhaps it was exactly what you needed at this moment.

"Mmmh!~ C-Come on, give me more, Y/n~"

Ningguang moaned as you released the kiss and went to kiss her neck. She was still wearing her dress and wished for you to take it off right away, but you wanted to marvel at her wearing it longer. You trailed kisses down her breasts then dropped to your knees and slipped off her panties before flipping up the front of her dress and burying your face in her warmth.

Ningguang gasped feeling your lips wrap around her clit and flick your tongue over it. She arched off the wall and raised her right leg to rest on your shoulder while her left hand intertwined in your hair. She breathed out hard as your tongue lapped up her folds, her body convulsing from the rising pleasure. You then raised her left leg and placed it on your shoulder as well then lifted her lower body off the wall with ease, a surprised moan leaving her and her hands fiddling to grab onto anything before clenching your hair only.

"O-Oh, Y/n! Yes.... right there— aaahn!~"

Ningguang found it hard to balance herself yet she trusted you to hold her up and you did, she was always impressed by your sudden display of strength in unexpected moments even though she knew it was natural for someone like you having the power of 5 elements inside on top of your existing prowess. Her legs wrapped around your head while your tongue plunged inside her slit and prodded her sweet spots.

Her head threw and eyes rolled to the back as your tongue went deeper, grinding and scissoring her walls and sucking out her juices. Ningguang's mind was blurry now, the effect of the alcohol felt enhanced as the pleasure increased and she approached her release. She did not drink beyond her limit and she was conscious of everything happening, yet she felt tipsy and intoxicated.

"Aaaah! Aaahn..... Y-Y/n, darling.... Ngh! I-I'm close...."

Ningguang's fingers gripped your hair tighter and you bounced her on the wall once to adjust better, slightly raising her more and plunging your tongue even deeper than before. Her hips rutted forward making you thrust your tongue inside before you pulled out and sucked on her clit again. She couldn't hold on more and finally came with a loud, her slick coating your lips as her body arched.

You licked off her release from her folds and your own mouth, enjoying her delicious taste that was sweeter than any delicacy you had in all of Teyvat. Ningguang panted out while gazing at you, you slowly stood up while still holding her legs on your shoulders then swiftly dropped them to wrap them around your waist and pull her in your arms.

Ningguang gasped then chuckled from the surprising action, her arms wrapping around your neck tightly as she embraced you like a koala. She could feel your own tightening bulge press against her abdomen and slyly rutted against it, a shiver going up your body. She leaned back and cupped your face then connected your lips in a passionate kiss while you made your way over to her bedroom.

The moonlight illuminated her room just perfectly and you navigated through with ease as if you remembered the blueprint despite not being here for more than a year. Your lips didn't leave Ningguang's even for a moment as you walked towards the bed, her hands clawing and groping all over your body as she yearned to feel you as much as possible. You reached the bed and laid her upon it while climbing up yourself as she didn't let go of you at all.

Ningguang could feel your bulge rubbing into her crotch while you made out with her and subconsciously grinded against it, making you release the kiss with a groan. You both panted out from the overwhelming kiss, your eyes gazing at her gorgeous figure laid under you as it sparkled in the moonlight. She was ethereal in every way, and you still found it hard to believe you had the privilege to be so close to her. You hoped you were the only one.

"What are you waiting for? Go on, undress me.... I want you~"

Ningguang husked in a sultry tone and cupped your face. Your eyes trailed all over her body and a lustful feeling came over you, an animalistic urge to take her. Your hands grabbed her breasts and kneaded them over her dress while your hips thrusted into her core, your erection humping against her. You then suddenly pulled off her dress and freed her breasts, a gasp leaving her as cold air hit her nipples.

Your fingers pinched and pulled her sensitive buds before you leaned down to place one in your mouth, your tongue swirling around and flicking against it followed by sucking her breast. Ningguang held your held closely as you sucked, her legs wrapped around your waist to pull you closer as you continued humping into her at the same. But she wanted more, she was almost on the verge of turning you over and taking the lead.

You released her nipple with a pop then pulled her dress down and finally removed it completely, exposing her naked body for you to feast on. She looked at your own throbbing erection and wondered how you hadn't cum yet, impressed by your endurance and becoming excited for how intense the night was going to be. You then came closer to her and started kissing her neck, burying yourself in her shoulder and inhaling her exquisite scent.

"Ngh.... put it in already. Are you making me wait intentionally, hm?~"

"No, I just wanted to please you as much...."

Ningguang couldn't help but smile at your sweetness. It was one of the many things she came to like about you. She recalled how you were always this way, always putting her pleasure and satisfaction above yours.

"You have been holding on as soon as we reached the Jade Chamber, don't pain yourself this way."

"It's fine, you deserve the best today. I wish I came sooner, I wanted to celebrate with you more...."

Ningguang chuckled and pecked your lips, "You said you are here for a few days, right? You have plenty of time to make up for this~"

All of a sudden, she wrapped her arms around your torso and flipped over. The ceiling came in your vision before being overtaken by Ningguang's face as she straddled you. Her hair splayed messily yet looked picture perfect, the moonlight making her skin and hair glow brighter. You realized she was sitting right on top of your erection and her hips grinded back n forth, the wetness from her folds seeping through your fabric even.

Her hands finally went to unbutton and unzip your pants and within a single motion, she pulled off both your pants and underwear to take out your shaft. Ningguang licked her lips looking at your cock- hard and throbbing with pre cum staining the tip and ready to fuck her senseless the way she liked. She gripped the shaft and began pumping it sensually, more pre cum gathering on the tip.

"Hmm, has it grown bigger or do I just remember wrong? Was someone else taking care of it? Ms Navia, perhaps?~"

Ningguang was teasing you, she knew you hadn't done it with Navia or anyone else but her jealousy from before wasn't satiated.

"Haah... no, I told you.... I only do it with you, nggh~"

She smirked then leaned down and flicked her tongue over the tip, perhaps she was still in a drunken haze which made her needier and more possessive than she'd ever show. She wasted no time to wrap her mouth around the tip and started sucking, you threw your head back from the sudden feeling as you expected her to be slower. Her palm kept pumping the length while her tongue swiped over the head and sucked on it, eager to make you cum.

"Guh—! N-Ningguang.... you are sucking too hard! I'm going to....!"

Ningguang pulled away her hand and swallowed your cock completely in one ago, your tip almost hitting the back of her throat. Your hips bucked into her but she held your thighs down and began bobbing her head instead. It was unlike her to be so impatient since she usually liked to be slow and tease you, but it seemed you both were equally needy for each other right now.

"Aaah.... Ning.... that feels so good— I'm cumming.... ah, fuck!~"

Ningguang swirled her tongue around the length as best as she could while bobbing up and down, practically swallowing every bit and sucking on the tip. You tried to grab her head to hold her down but she slapped your hand away, her eyes squinting while looking at you as if she was scolding you to behave. She went at her own pace and practically sucked you dry as you came deep inside her mouth, your hips bucking up and being held in place by her as she drank every drop.

She pulled away with a satisfied sigh, licking her lips to clean up the cum that dripped down then licked the residue from your tip as well. She smirked looking at your defeated state as you laid panting from the intense orgasm but your dick was still hard and ready to go for more. She was about to crawl forward to put your dick inside but you suddenly sat up and flipped your positions, pinning her down once again.

Ningguang was surprised but didn't retaliate when she felt your cock rub against her slit. You aligned the tip and slowly pushed in then bucked forward and buried all the way, sheathing in her warmth in one go. She gasped out a moan then clenched the sheet as you started thrusting without break, setting fast pace right away and pounding into her. It was exactly was she needed, what she was waiting for.

You gripped her waist and raised her body slightly, making her legs rest on your thighs then resumed pumping your hips. It was an unrealistic pace even for you, but you couldn't help it knowing how much she wanted it. You pulled her in by her hips at the same time, your thighs slapping against them producing harsh sounds of skin-on-skin. You just wanted to fuck her out of her mind, make her numb enough that she wouldn't be able to work the next day.

"Aaah! Yes! Yes! This is it! Aaaahn~ More, Y/n! Give me more of this! Oh, ravage me!~"

Ningguang was already blinded by pleasure, feeling too good from how you fucked her into the sheets. Her breasts bounced against the force of your thrusting, the bed creaking from your harsh pace but all you could focus was on her walls clenching your length in a deathly grip and the pleasure-induced expression on her face. It was heavenly and you could look at it all day.

Changing things slightly, you held up her left leg on your shoulder and turned her body to the side then continued drilling forward. Ningguang gasped, moaned, whimpered— everything, she was feeling everything and so much more. She knew nobody could give her this, she didn't even need to test it out. That's why she waited every time for you.

"Oh— f-fuck! Y/n! Yes! Right there, ! I'm so close! Hngh~!"

Ningguang looked at you and moaned with your thrusts. She felt your tip throb and knew you were close as well.

"Cum inside.... don't you dare pull out! I need you! Inside me, do you hear me, Y/n?!~"

You were shocked for a moment but didn't deny, you also wanted to just as much. You leaned forward and pressed her leg to her chest, still pumping your hips and pounding.

"Would have asked you the same.... aaah.... it's better when you say it yourself~"

You then grabbed her waist and halted for a second before making a harsh thrust forward, suddenly hilting all the way inside. Her walls fluttered around your length and you finally came right after, flooding her insides with your hot and sticky release. Ningguang moaned feeling your cum fill her up to the deepest depths, yet it wasn't enough and she wanted more.

Just like she had hoped, it indeed became an intense night thanks to your stamina. She didn't know when she was bent against the wall with you fucking her from behind but she loved it, she could feel your cum overflowing inside and dripping down her thighs yet you kept going and had more to give her. Your hands moulded her plump ass, feeling her soft skin and bouncy flesh as it jiggled with your thrusts.

"Aaah! Aaah! Y/n! S-So good! Mmm— hngh!~"

Ningguang pressed her cheek into the wall as her legs were on the verge of giving out, the relentless assault on her behind was overpowering her and she had no idea how long it had been since you started. You noticed her leaning forward and quickly turned her over to make her face you then grabbed her legs and picked her up, holding her against the wall as you kept fucking her.

She wrapped her arms around your neck and fell on your shoulder, her angelic voice moaning in your ear making you go faster and harder. She was bouncing against the wall with your fierce pace, her breasts squeezing against your chest. You then placed your lips on hers and initiated a passionate kiss, her mind plunging in a lovey-dovey state.

The next thing she knew was that you came inside her again but now she was suddenly on the bed again and on top of you now, riding you to her heart's content. She didn't remember when she took this position, she only knew how fast she was riding you and how eager she was for you fill her up again. Nobody would believe this was the same Tianquan of Liyue who was always composed and elegant in public, the same woman who was riding you now like a wild animal.

"Archons— yes! Yes! Fill me up! Cum again, Y/n! I want it! Oh, you are so good! I love you! I love you!"

Ningguang chanted in a lovestruck state, you didn't know if she meant those words truly but you wanted to fuck her just like a lover as she wanted. Perhaps this was the best gift you could give her. You held her waist and bucked your hips with her bouncing then spilled inside her soon after, her body arching with a loud moan as she came with you. How much had it been? Neither of you cared.

She only cared about how your hips were plouging into her from behind while she laid flat on the bed, how your body was resting on top of her as you tightly held her and drilled into her warmth. Your lips made messy kisses on her back and shoulder, your grunts and groans flowing past her ear making her wetter and tighter around you.

"Aaaahn! Yes... oh, I needed this! Faster! Harder1 Y/n— fuck me!~"

You certainly went all night as you both passed out quickly after stopping. The next morning came and you found her laying beside you, her arm put around your stomach and her face buried in your shoulder as she soundly slept. You smiled looking at her and recalled the passionate night, you actually ended up doing all around the room and even the lobby outside.

"Hmm.... good morning, darling~" Ningguang murmured in a sleepy voice and shifted closer to you, holding you tighter.

"Good morning, Ning. It's still early, you can sleep more."

"Mm, I have to work. But I don't think I can move for today, I don't feel my legs at all...."

"S-Sorry, what can I do for you?" you asked in a concerned tone and turned to face, gently cupping her face.

Ningguang opened her eyes and smiled at you then pecked your lips, "Just stay here, I want to talk with you relax together."

"As you wish, Lady Ningguang~"

Ningguang softly chuckled then climbed up to lay on your body and embraced you, her head lying on your chest.

"My apologies if I became.... overbearing last night. I'm not sure what came over me." Ningguang said.

"It's fine, I guess I felt the same. I do wonder, were you jealous?"

Ningguang contemplated her answer then let out a sigh and looked up at you, "To some extent, yes. I felt uneasy reading those articles and seeing those pictures, even though I'm aware how the media tends to overdramatize."

"I'm sorry for making you feel that way...."

Ningguang smiled then sat up on your waist, "It's strange.... you have no reason to be sorry. We are not dating, this is just a convenient arrangement we have to release stress and indulge in our desires. That's the terms we agreed upon. At the same time, I shouldn't feel jealous. I don't own you and I cannot dictate what you do with others...."

You looked at her silently then sat up and lightly held her waist, "Do you remember what you said last night....?"

Ningguang pondered and knew what you were referring to, it was one of the things she remembered vividly from last night.

"Yes, those words.... They were true, I suppose. I can't help but feel that way for you when you treat me so well even when you see me only once or twice a year. What is it that you do to me, Y/n, hm?~"

"I could say the same for you. I have met so many different people, women who are amazing just like you and many of them conveyed similar desires for me yet I refused everyone. You were the first one I agreed to and since then, I have only wanted it to be you."

She smiled and gently kissed you.

"We decided not to cross this line, didn't we?" she spoke.

"Mhm, what do you want now?"

"You tell me, it depends on you. Your goal, your journey, your.... fate."

You looked away with an upset expression, Ningguang knew your answer would disappoint her but she didn't want you to feel bad about it.

"It's fine, I'm not going to make you choose. Your answer has always been the same and it shouldn't waver. I'm always here for you to come back to as a relief, a home, if you still require it."

You furrowed your brows, "Don't bound yourself to me. Please, find someone suitable and live your life. Don't wait for me, I'm not meant for this kind of life. I.... I don't want you to waste time on me. I'm already happy with these memories you gave me."

Ningguang smiled and kissed your forehead, "It's for me to decide whether my life is wasted or fruitful. Besides, I don't exactly have the time for a serious relationship anytime soon. So, this kind of arrangement is best for me for now. We can decide later when to end it~"

You chuckled then went closer to embrace her, burying your face in the crook of her neck while she caressed your head in a soothing manner.

"Ah, before I forget. I have a return gift for you~" Ningguang chimed.

"Heh~ There's still more? I think I got return gifts worth a few years last night~" you teased.

Ningguang bit her lower lip and playfully tapped your nose then stood up on shaking legs and walked towards her cupboard to search for something. She found what was she was looking for then came back to your side and sat on the edge of the bed.

"I acquired several pieces of jade at an auction a few days ago. They looked rather plain compared to other pieces but they have a natural clarity and potential to become anything. I realized it's best to not keep them stored here and instead let me experience a journey of a lifetime. So, I'd like you to have them and take them with you. Fine iterms are best matched with the talented, only then they can shine together."

Your eyes widened at the surprising gift and you slowly accepted them, "Thank you, they look beautiful. I'll be sure to keep them safe and sound."

Ningguang smiled, "I wonder what kind of hue they will display as they travel with you and age gracefully, I'm sure it'll be a brilliant and unique shine like yours. I hope you'll come back and show me with time how they turn out~"

You nodded with a smile then chuckled, "Is this another excuse to just call me back? You can't stay away from me, Lady Ningguang?~"

Ningguang smirked then suddenly pushed you down by your shoulders and pinned you before climbing above you, "Running your mouth too much, aren't you? Seems I need to show you who's in-charge here~"

[sierrale8ne]

40 DAY AND 40 NIGHTS CHAPTER FIVE

thought i’d be lying if i said ‘i didn’t want you to myself.’ when you look me in my eyes and, tell me that it’s mine, i…

pairing wnba!paige bueckers x singer!oc

taglist @thaatdigitaldiary @rosemariiaa @ohbueckers @makethemhoesmad @patscorner @tndaqlifwy @wbbgetsmewetter @xxloveralways14 @authentic-girl03

kalena speakss 🪽! ju and kennedy was threatening my life for this so HERE. take it! 🙄

June 2025 — Atlanta, Georgia 

It’s a couple hours after my show. I sat with my back against the counter of whatever bar Julian and a few of his friends dragged me out to.

The concert tonight was something I still haven’t fully processed. Even after having shows all over the country, performing in my hometown just hours ago was unreal.

The energy was indescribable. Loud would be the closest thing to label it. But after the event, a meet and greet, and an outfit change, I find myself under flashing lights and bass booming music.

I’m all by my lonesome at the bar, a lemon drop in my hands as my head slowly bops along with the trap music that fills my ears. Julian is somewhere across the floor with some friends from college, giving me a much needed break from him for the rest of the night.

He’s a different beast when he’s drunk. Not in a bad way, but just very loud or clingy, or touchy and after the long day I had, having his tall sweaty body over mine was only going to make me overstimulated.

I finish my drink and place the glass down on the counter, switching it out for ice cold water. It’s smooth and refreshing down my throat, a contrast to the warm atmosphere I’m seated in. 

The sound of another drink hitting the bar grabs my attention, I turn around and the nice bartender in front of me pushes a drink closer to me. She doesn’t speak, only tossing her head to the side. When I look over, there’s a certain blonde delivering a wide smile.

I nod in response before taking a sip of the drink. A Dirty Shirley, of course.

“Good to see you’re alive.” Paige jokes when I approach her. She wears black light wash jeans and a black graphic tee. Her stomach is tight, abs on display, arms tanned and wildly muscular, and it takes everything in me to not gawk over her body. 

She pats the stool to her left, signaling me to take a seat beside her. I fix my mini skirt before sitting on the stool, scooting it closer towards her. 

“Hey, P.” My voice fits together. It’s a weird feeling. I spent all week thinking about what I would do when I saw her again. Maybe give her a hug, or tell her that I did indeed miss her. But instead, I’m silent. My voice is scratchy and I feel so little under her gaze.

“It’s good to see you, angel.” Paige smiles at me, her fingers tapping along the spine of the beer bottle she drinks from. “See you got my drink.”

“I did.” I responded. “I’m not sure why you like this shit tho’. Too much vodka.” I grimace.

“What?”

“It’s strong as hell!”

“Oh please, I’ve seen you take casa straight.” She points out with a roll of her eyes. I don’t fight the grin that spreads onto my face mid conversation. It was things like this that I think I missed more than her look. The childish bickering that led to belly aching laughter. 

I’m about to speak up again, send a playful shot her way that shuts her up, when Julian saunters over. I don’t miss the slight tumble in his walk. He drapes an arm over my shoulder, standing right between Paige and myself as he tells the bartender to close out our tab.

His eyes travel to me first, but when he sees that I’m still attempting to look at Paige, he turns to face her too.

Julian gives her a nod. “You’re uh,” he takes a breath to search his brain cockily, I shoot him an unamused glance. “Paige right? Play for the Sparks?”

“That’s me.” She nods.

“I’ve heard a lot about you. This one doesn’t seem to shut up about you.”

Paige fights a smirk, and the only reason I can tell is because her eyes bounce from Julian, to the floor, then to myself, and then back to Julian. “Oh for real? Could say the same about you, man.” 

Just like that their exchange is over. Paige looks away and Julian looks down at me.

“The guys and I are heading to a different club. You comin’?”

I shake my head. “I was jus’ gonna get some food. I’m not really feelin’ it.” I tell him.

He shrugs passively, reaching over me to take his receipt from the bartender. “Sounds good to me.” Julian leans over, kissing my forehead quickly. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

I can’t even fight the roll of my eyes this time. In the morning is crazy , I think to myself. 

“Uh oh. Trouble in Paradise?” Paige asks. Her face is genuine, but her tone of voice makes it obvious to me that she’s prodding. I want to smack that stupidly sexy smirk off her face.

“Shut up.”

“And you cringin’ when he kiss y—”

“Paige. Shut up.”

She does, throwing her hands up in defense. I watch intently as her lips wrap around the spout of the bottle, the way her head tosses back when she takes a swig and how her throat bobs as she swallows. I’m so fucked. 

“What are you doing in Atlanta anyways?” I ask, changing the subject.

“Game tomorrow. You comin?”

“You want me to?”

“I mean, I need you there. I went off last time you came.” Paige says. The manner with which she looks at me when we have a conversation is distracting. Her eyes glued on mine, a slight tilt of her head, and the occasional lick or bit of her lips. I’m trying really hard to keep my composure but it’s hard.

What am I even thinking? I have a boyfriend, whom I care for very much.

“You went off the other night in Chicago. Didn’t you have 30 or sum?” My hand fiddles with the straw in my nearly empty Shirley. For someone who thought it wasn’t all that good, I was definitely drowning it.

Paige laughs. “Aneesah and Angel blocked my shot like 5 times that game. And 7 kept picking my pocket.”

“You still played good, no?” I ask with a smile.

“Do you wanna come or not, angel?”

“Okay! I’ll go, I’ll go! I’m just sayin’ you don’t need me there. You’re on a tear this season anyway.” I turn away to fight the blush on my face. She’s such a flirt it’s unbelievable.

“Yeah? You been watching lil old me?”

“Oh fuck off.”

—

The coldness of the seat sent shivers through my spine, my short sleeve top not providing any type of warmth in the establishment. I can only imagine that Maraye’s skirt and tube top combo wasn’t helpful for her either. I toss her my gray zip up from my seat across from her.

After leaving the club, I made my way out to Waffle House, with Maraye obviously. It’s early in the morning, the clock on the wall reads 1:38am.

“Thanks.” She mumbles with a mouth full of hash browns as she takes my jacket.

“Mouth full is crazy.”

She rolls her eyes at me. “Y’sure you won’t be cold?” I find it funny, because even as she asks, she’s throwing on the hoodie and zipping it up gratefully. I brush her off, ignoring the very obvious goosebumps on my skin and stabbing into my peanut butter waffle.

We were talking about her shows over the last few weeks. I always found the lifestyle she lived so interesting. Honestly, I thought of it as being much similar to my career, but playing in a court and performing her most vulnerable moments for people is not the same.

“I mean seeing people in the audience cry over the songs I sing is so surreal. Like tonight, I closed with Different Pages, and as soon as the instrumental cut on, I could see girls in the front just start crying and I’m like, they really fuck with me. Y’know?” Her eyes glaze over and I don’t miss it. I wouldn’t even dare tear my eyes away from her right now.

She looks gorgeous. Which is simply unbelievable because her hair is a bit tousled and her eyes dark with exhaustion. Yet, she’s the prettiest girl in the world to me right now. 

This entire situation is messy. For a multitude of reasons but the most obvious one being the six-foot-something curly headed boundary that is between us. I know better. I know that all me and Maraye have going for us is a friendship, that when she looks at me it’s just because she looks at all of her friends with that sort of eye contact. Or that when she begs me to come out to Waffle House with her at nearly two in the morning, it’s because we were already hanging out, and not because she wanted to have alone time with me. 

I know better.

Even then, all my better judgment is thrown out the window with her. She’s everything. The personality I’ve gotten to know belongs to someone that I so desperately need. 

I don’t even care about hurting Julian, oddly enough.

I drink from my glass of water before drawing myself back into conversation, I’d been quiet for a bit too long.

“You’re an amazing performer from what I saw. And the music connects to people. You shouldn’t be surprised.” I complement.

Her face contorts.

“You were at the show tonight? Why didn’t you tell me?” Her voice raises as she drops her fork on her plate.

“You been ignoring me all week, Raye!” I laugh. I probably should’ve told her that I was coming, but after my calls and texts went unanswered I just stopped trying. “I called you tonight too. Shit when straight to voicemail.”

Maraye frowns at me, looking down at her plate before back up at me. “I’m sorry.” She apologizes, but what follows I don’t even expect. “I’ve been thinking so much about you and ju’ and— regardless, I shouldn’t have cut you out.”

“I missed you.” It falls from my lips before I can even register it. 

Maraye smiles that beautiful angelic smile of hers. She presses her elbows to the table, looking over at me with that goddess-like head tilt that turns my brain to mush.

“I missed you too, blondie.” 

It’s different. I’ve heard it from her over the phone, or from past girlfriends, old teammates, friends. But the way those three words— I missed you— hit my ears has me falling apart into a puddle of skin and bones in my seat. 

Her accent drives me crazy. It wraps her words in a certain comfort and familiarity that I could only ever feel from Maraye. It carries a gentle, melodic lilt that draws me into her, I’m damn near all up in her personal space from how deep she’s drawn me into her without even touching me.

Every simple phrase she says to me sounds like sweet poetry, and suddenly I’m understanding even more why her music makes people so emotional. Because the way she’s talking to me right now is making me feel things I don’t think I’ve ever felt for any girl in my whole life.

It’s fucking terrifying.

—

The end of the night approached much faster than I’d like to admit. Mostly because I had a great time with Paige and it was coming to an end. We made a quick detour to the 7/11 for slushee’s before getting in the uber again. We exited the car pretty quickly, arriving at The Westin Peachtree where we both, coincidentally, were staying at. 

Paige walks me all the way to my suite. It’s a little past 3am when I stand outside my door. 

I turn around to look up at her. Her hair is pulled out of her face now, a messy bun at the nape of her neck that gives me a perfect view of her clear and tanned skin.

“Thanks for keeping me company tonight.” I told her. My hands travel to the zipper of her hoodie, peeling it from my body. I don’t mean for it to look as sultry as it does, but that’s the message that it gives off because Paige’s eyes follow the whole way down.

“Y-yeah of course. I had a good time wit’ you, Raye.” She speaks. The stutter I pick up on is so slight, barely even there, but it’s enough to make me feel like I’m about to pass out.

I hand her the thick hoodie, thankful for the warmth it brought me for the last few hours. 

I find it so crazy that I could have so much fun doing nothing with a person I’ve known for barely even a month. We walked around for what felt like forever, just talking and picking each other’s brains apart. It was a feeling truly like no other. 

“So tomorrow right? I’ll see you tomorrow?” I ask. My bottom lip finds its way between my teeth as I nibble on it nervously. My stomach practically sits in my ass and I can’t pinpoint why, but suddenly I’m anxious. As hell. And it’s her, she makes me nervous in a way I’ve never experienced before— and I’ve been on stage in stadiums full of thousands of people.

There’s a sort of tension between the two of us. I’m grateful that the hallway is empty, because if people were walking around and saw us they would’ve for sure gotten the wrong idea.

Shockingly, I don’t even know if it would be the wrong idea. Because I want her.

Paige, the blonde woman that has maybe 4 inches over me, the blonde that I find myself looking for in every place I travel to, the blonde who looks at me right now with a different type of look in her eye that I can’t yet figure out. I want her.

“Yeah, angel. Of course.” She nods slowly at my question while taking a step closer to me. Her arms find a home around my waist and it is then when I’m hugging her that I realize it’s my first time feeling her touch all night.

Her body is so warm against me, her neck practically setting my forearms on fire.

She smells like strawberries, which I wouldn’t have expected from just looking at her tonight. I can feel every ridge of her muscles, I spread my palm over the ones on her back and her biceps press into my side from how she hugs me. I don’t pay too much attention to how her hand travels just a bit lower, inches away from the swell of my ass and I know I should push her further. Say that we’re toeing the line, that this is too much to just be a friendly hug, that it feels so damn intimate.

I don’t want to though.

That’s when I know I’m in too deep.

I pull back from her gently, but her hands still remain in their position. I place my hands on her shoulders, looking back into her eyes. The blue reminds me of fresh blueberries, they make me feel like I’m at home. The rims are a bit reddened, expected from how long we’ve been awake. Yet, I could stand like this for hours, just looking at her and those eyes. I swear I see the pupils get just a bit bigger, and I tear my eyes away from Paige before mine do the same.

I can feel that gaze still on me, but when I look back she’s dead set on my lips. 

In return I look at hers. They’re a perfect soft pink. Plump and nicely moisturized from the chapstick I caught her using earlier. I wonder what they taste like. If they mimic her strawberry scent or if they taste like the blue raspberry slurpee she downed. They could taste like nothing too, and I wouldn’t mind it. 

She’s suddenly pulling away from me with a step back, her arms falling from my hips. Paige clears her throat before digging her hands into the pockets of her jeans. 

“Tomorrow.” She confirms. “Get some sleep, aight?” The drawl of her voice is addicting, I could spend hours listening to her talk to me just so I could know how different words sound when they fall from her lips.

“Yeah you too, P.” I responded, turning my back to her to unlock the door to my hotel. I hear her footsteps retreating from me so I turn my head back. It was supposed to be brief, I swear it was. 

But then she’s looking back at me and I want to last forever. 

Just me and Paige looking at each other for as long as the universe allows us to.

[glitteryinknotes]

Astarion & his life before Cazador

After seeing a few different takes on it, my thoughts have been circling around Astarion's pre - vampiric life and what it must have been like to shape him into the person we know, behind the trauma and his attempts to hide the truth of his feelings and vulnerability inside him.

After days of musings, I've tried to gather my thoughts into a single analysis of a sort, both on his general mindset and his life as the person buried in the graveyard as Astarion Ancunin.

What can be said - disappointing as it is - is that in his life he most likely was what can be tactfully referred to as "an asshole". He held a magistrate's position, but most likely didn't give a damn about anything other than luxuries this position provided him with and the life of utter debauchery he was given on a silver plate. I don't think he's ever had to really fend for anything nor work towards anything, or deal with any kind of problems either on personal or any other level. What's worse - he probably had his part in some form of severe oppression of the common people, otherwise why would he get jumped and beaten to death (his attackers clearly aimed for his death, not just a lesson to be taught) in his own city.

(I would like to mark at that point that my further thoughts are not an excuse for him being a shitty person. If he was a dick indeed, that's on him)

Astarion is, fundamentally, as others have pointed out before me, a rather selfish person - or more specifically, self - absorbed to the point of selfishness. That's one of his core vices.

However.

He isn't an evil person either. He is capable of compassion and taking interest in other people. He is fiercely loyal to those he loves (that being Tav) and capable of consideration, pride and joy for those he considers friends. He is very slow to trust (understandably so) or accept kindness - but once he does, he remains true to the people who granted him those gifts. His confession scenes are the best proof of that - where his consience, still intact, is eating him up as he can't stomach leading on the only person he knows who treated him well.

And as much as he adores his own charms, beauty, pleasure, fine things, there is deep within him the yearning for something more than that. He isn't truly sated by all of those shallow things, nor is he pushed to any kind of growth within them. This yearning is something he is barely able to recognise and understand himself, let alone pursue it. But it's there.

Astarion's character and behavioral patterns must have been shaped before. The trauma from Cazador's enslavement broke him, scarred his psyche to unimaginable extent, exposed his worse qualities and drove him to become a shell of who he could have been, leaving him utterly out of touch with himself, burdened with indescribable guilt and self - loathing, stuck in desperate survival mindset. But his inner self was still shaped somewhere and somehow.

I've come to imagine that his pre-vampiric life wasn't really a happy one. It was undoubtedly rich, loud, unspoiled by any hardships, but fundamentally empty. Without any semblance of meaning, without any true kinship with anyone or any genuine emotional intimacy. Even if he lived like there was no tomorrow and nothing in the world mattered but his pleasure - deep down, maybe he knew he wasn't truly satisfied and that no amount of shameless, drunk debauchery would ever fullfill this emptiness. Perhaps he craved something more after all, something he hadn't been taught how to seek.

Now how could it have come to that?

He was most likely born in some wealthy local family (or one with considerable influence in the city) that held the position of the magistrate for generations, hence his lifestyle and being granted the title at such a young age for elven standards (he was 39 at the time of his presumed death; i personally would equal that to no more than 30 years by human standards, more like middle 20s even). He was obviously somebody's son - but I don't personally believe he ever experienced the healthy, genuine love a child should be provided, he strikes me as a type of person who never quite had a good, trusted role model to look up to, no one to call him out on his vices and lovingly steer him into growing into a possibly best version of himself. No one to check him on his selfish instincts and show him that there may be a more rewarding way of going through the world. That kind of thing usually happens through some sort of neglect and lack of sufficient care; my guess is that he never had an actual meaningful bond with his parents, was raised mostly by hired caretakers and overall in his childhood didn't experience the much needed selfless love & care from emotionally close people, the kind of love that subconsciously makes us believe that there is good and kindness in the world and that it's worth the effort on our part.

Whatever came in his elder years couldn't have been better, and it certainly didn't make him a better person. Some amount of power, money, countless pleasures, all of that he so adores but which doesn't ultimately fullfill him nor make him truly value and appreciate himself on a deeper level. And after his death - he was most likely mourned in some way, but not necessarily missed by anyone and was quickly forgotten. Perhaps his parents remembered - but they too eventually moved on.

What leads me to believe that?

The most interesting thing about Astarion's final love declaration to Tav is that he says he feels "seen" with them. It's one of the most beautiful things we people can offer each other - the feeling of being "seen" and safe in that sight, understood, felt, valued. That can only happen when the other person knows us well enough to be aware of all the ugly qualities we possess, but is just as aware of our capability for all the good ones, and so, in the greater picture sees the better version of ourselves (sometimes even better than we ourselves can picture) and that vision, when truly caring for the other person, we trust and want to live up to. By seeing ourselves the way our loved one sees us, we allow ourselves to grow and be better.

I don't think Astarion ever had that kind of person. I don't believe that he ever, in his pre - vampiric life, experienced a kind of love and trust needed for such a feeling - being "seen", and wanting to be seen as someone good, worthy, valued. Even more - I don't think he ever had any kind of true friend or companion. And that kind of emptiness deeply cripples a person, no matter who they are.

The tragic thing is - Tav may not be the first person to show Astarion kindness and care after years of torment from Cazador, they may be the first selflessly caring and kind person in his entire life. Even if he doesn't remember anything about his previous life, emotionally, he doesn't even seem to recognise the feeling of being cared for, considered, valued, appreciated for who he is, he doesn't instinctively recognise emotional closeness of any kind. Tav may be his first ever true companion, confidant, someone he comes to value and trust enough, that he eventually wants to be the same for them - and be better himself.

Tav may just be the first person to be a selfless and genuinely healthy influence for him, the first person to call him out on shitty behaviour and challenge him, but also to the first one to care. Ever. The first person Astarion comes to care about. The person through whom he learns to care and value more, both others and himself. And the person through whom he learns to love.

I don't believe he ever loved before, nor was he truly loved in the first place. Maybe he never tried, maybe he never dared, maybe he didn't know how to, maybe no one taught him. Tav was the best thing to happen to him in both of his lives.

[ko-existing]

Revel in the sea of ​​infinite SELF’s intelligent energetic effects

by Being_is_IT / Twitter

Reader: Sir, that’s great! This is indeed the case. When you get up in the morning and take a walk, you step on it and listen to the friction of the grass under your feet and the dewdrops splash. At the same time, you feel that all dimensions are unfolding simultaneously at this moment.

The grand and indescribable feeling can be experienced by yourself at once. I understand what you said..., I am truly convinced..., Thank you sir. Indeed, as you said, I am becoming more and more aware that nothing is certain. No matter what my mind says, I know it is not the case. More importantly, I can feel that everything is inseparable at any time. It is she (SELF) who is doing everything, but nothing I can be certain about, I can only experience it…

BeingIs: Be grateful to SELF, rather than to be grateful to someone. Better yet, instead of being grateful to SELF, know that you are SELF already. In fact, you can directly feel the infinite SELF seemingly and simultaneously manifesting its magical energy effects at every moment. Even for the scene of jailed in prison, this is still the same magical energetic effect. SELF is unlimited intelligent energy.

When waking up in the morning, the seemingly logical flow suddenly started to flow, and it's like a long-forgotten story suddenly began to work. Please note that when you were in a dream, you have no idea that there will be another story flow after the current storyline vanishes. This is a big surprise. In fact, the so-called "morning story and morning world" are not hiding somewhere waiting for you to come back, but they are the energetic impressions spontaneously manifested by super intelligent energy, i.e., SELF.

What seems like a story is not actually a story, and what seems like a world is not actually a world. Please notice, nothing is created, there is no such thing as creation. It's just that the apparent energetic pattern morphed, or metaphorically speaking, it's like a TV show changing channels. If you still don’t get this metaphor, let me give you another example. The holographic laser projection seems to be showing the story of someone in a certain country doing something.

Suddenly, the content of the laser projection changes and becomes the story of another person in another country doing something else. However, this is still the same holographic laser projection. Energetic impressions seem to morph all the time, but it's the same light projecting. The previous story is completely emptiness, and the subsequent story is also completely emptiness.

Although you seem to be fully participating in the storyline, you are not actually a character in the story. You are infinite radiance and intelligent energy. Such intelligent energy just manifests the seemingly feeling of complete participation, otherwise there would be no fun. Just like when you play a video game, if you don't have a realistic sense of participation, it's not fun.

The seeming beauty, the seeming ugliness, the seeming enjoyment, the seeming suffering, are all the automatic energetic effects of this infinite magical intelligence, and all phenomena manifested by such energetic effect are all completely emptiness without leaving any residue.

Yes, you are right, the best "practice" is not to understand the theory or recite sentences, but to directly savor the seemingly sound of the grass rubbing under your feet or the splash of dew, or light breeze in the afternoon. Every moment and every point in experiencing is a magical miracle of infinite SELF.

Even if the storyline seems to be sick in bed, every tingling pain and every thought of concern is still the magical miracle of infinite SELF. They are all the same energetic pulsation of SELF, without right or wrong. There is no need to analyze why, there is no need to analyze how, there is no need to regret for the bad fortune, and there is no need to expect for a better future, It is as meaningless as analyzing the ins and outs of a dream story.

What is - is what is.

Directly regard all feelings, all functioning of the Mind (thoughts), and all sensory sensations as the energetic symphony of infinite SELF. Treat them as if infinite SELF getting intoxicated in the sea of ​​its own energy. The seeming "good luck" is of course enjoyment, and the seeming "tribulation" is still the same enjoyment. This is not the enjoyment of "person", but the enjoyment of energy. As you get more used to seeing it this way, the sting of the storyline will affect you less and less.

The inner energetic pattern will be reorganized spontaneously and automatically, and transcendence will be accomplished naturally without any effort and without your being aware of. If you really think that there is so-called bad luck, if you really think that there are external negative factors attacking you, you are wrong. You are fooled by the logical content of the storyline assumed by the Mind. It's very much like when you watch a tragedy, when the tragic story was taken seriously, you really thought that you were the victim of the tragedy.

All conclusions interpreted by the Mind are illusory and not actual. However, the effect of the Mind, as the energetic effect of infinite intelligent SELF, is not a problem. No matter how such energetic effecting is interpreting, once the conclusions are not being taken granted and seriously, the function of the Mind is like the rising and setting of the sun. lick windy or rainy, like the ebb and flow of the tide, you know that the function of the Mind itself is nothing more than the intelligent energy effect of SELF breathing and pulsing naturally, it is not a problem.

[czrpenters]

What would r first time squirting be like? How would Sam react?

It wasn't something that Sam thought about, to be honest. To begin with, it was an accident. She was fucking you senseless into the matress with her black strap on, and she was so fucking horny that day that she decided to continue pounding into you even after you came. "Baby, I can't take it..."

"You can. And you will." She growled, holding your hips into place so she could go deeper. That was the hottest position for Sam, when you were in all fours she could slap your ass as much as she wanted. You felt lightheaded, holding the sheets for dear life while Sam took her frustrations out on you, but your weren't complaining; you loved when she got rough with your body. "Fuck, Sam."

She wanted to make you cum again, and that was it. But what had happened was something she never expected to see. You squirted all over the silicone cock while screaming her name. Your legs were shaking like crazy and you felt you could fall apart at any given moment. Sam's mouth watered; seeing the wet puddle on her sheets, your body trembling as if you were hypothermic, it was a mess. "Holy shit, (Y/N)..."

"Baby, I'm so sorry... I didn't knew I could-" She shushed you with a kiss on your back, reassuring you.

"That was the hottest thing I've ever seen." She whispered. And indeed, was.

--

"What if your drink some more water?" She asked you, when you both were laying down trying to watch a movie. Enphasis on trying, because ever since that day, Sam couldn't think about anything else. When she was at work, she couldn't focus on her shift because the only thought in her head was the way you got her sheets wet. She couldn't drink water without having dirty thoughts, obviously. Even in her dreams she was haunted by the Ghost of Squirting. It was driving her nuts. "You're definetly not hydrated enough, (Y/N)."

And the worst thing about this; she couldn't make you do it again.

She spent the last two weeks trying desperately to make you squirt one more time. She tried pretty much everything: new positions, new toys, tried to make you drink more water. Even resorting to watch tutorials on Porn Hub. Nothing.

"I'm not a sponge, Sam! The human body has a limit." You said, laughing. Her obsession with this was the funniest shit you've seen.

She frowned and got quiet for a second, before speaking again. "Maybe it's your diet. Let's go to a nutritionist or something." You laughed, again.

"And I'm gonna tell them what? 'Hi, I'm here because my girlfriend is trying to turn me into Squirtle and she believes that me not eating enough chocolate is the issue.'"

"You're missing the point! You don't know how it's like. The feeling, it's-" She took a deep breath. "...Indescribable."

"You should be at work right now. You remember your job, right? That one thing that helps you pay your bills and shit?" You took a sip of your water and laying the cup down after one gulp.

"Nuh uh, drink more. You better finish that glass in 3 minutes, woman."

[2baddiesfanfics]

Not a Burden

Pairing: Robin x F Reader

Tags: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Comfort, Vaginal Fingering, Scissoring, Kissing

Summary:

Back on the high seas after the defeat of Kaido, the crew takes a bit of time to relax. However, one member of the Straw Hats is noticeably missing – its archaeologist. Nami alerts y/n (female reader), and she seeks Robin out to get the bottom of it. You knew that fight with Black Maria was only over in one way.

Read on Ao3

The sun was beginning to set and the silhouette of the Land of Wano had disappeared behind the clouds as the crew continued on their way to their next destination. With one of the fiercest battles they’d ever fought now behind them, the Straw Hats were grateful to be settling back into their routines on the Sunny.

Zoro could be found napping on the lawn while Luffy, Chopper, and Usopp played (a little too loudly) on the swings near him. The soft notes of Brook’s music wafted throughout the ship; over the years he had discovered if he stood in a certain spot on the deck, the sea breeze would carry his voice so everyone could hear.

The aroma of burgers and an assortment of other delectable meats still lingered in the air from tonight’s dinner. Sanji remained in the kitchen, putting the dishes away and starting preparations for tomorrow’s meals.

Franky and Jinbei’s voices could be heard deep in conversation, as the cyborg wanted to get to know the newest member of the crew on a more personal level. The two men walked around the vessel as the shipwright started making blueprints to build accommodations for him.

As you quietly observe the scenes unfolding before you, you hear Nami’s soft steps approach. “Hey, y/n! Have you seen Robin? She isn’t in the library and was even more quiet than normal at dinner.”

“No…I was about to come see if she was with you. I’m sure she’s fine and just needed some alone time,” you reassure her.

Nami nodded and walked down to the lawn to join the others. You thought it was odd Robin wasn’t here enjoying the after-dinner festivities. The two of you would usually watch them from afar as you cuddled with a book. You knit your brow.

This isn’t like her…

Concerned, you decide to go check in on your girlfriend.

You and Robin had become a couple shortly after the crew saved her at Enies Lobby. Having joined a week after she did, you fell for her as soon as your eyes met. You could sense there was a deep yet indescribable pain in the way she looked not just at you, but at everyone else on the ship as well.

Hesitant to get too close too fast and scare her off, you opted to take your time in getting to know everything about her - where she came from, her likes and dislikes, and what she did for fun. It was through your time together you started to think you were out of your depth.

Not only were you naturally introverted, you had already resigned yourself to the idea someone as beautiful and intelligent as her could never feel the same way about you. Despite this, you were still able to bond over how much the two of you had in common. Little did you know…the love you grew to have for her was indeed reciprocated.

A confession didn’t occur until after the tumultuousness of her rescue. After almost having lost her once, there was no way you’d ever let her go through an experience like that again. You still remember it like it was yesterday.

Robin, I know you’ve been hurt, betrayed, and treated as if you were some kind of monster. While I can never truly understand how that feels and changes you as a person, I can make you a promise: For as long as we’re together, I will NEVER allow you to go through that again. I’m yours, forever and always…if you’ll have me.

Neither of you could stop crying at that point, but it didn’t matter. Words weren’t needed. The two of you embraced and the deal was sealed.

Not long after, Franky surprised the both of you. After returning from the two years of training every member of the crew underwent, he built a separate room for you to share. While bunking with Nami was always fun, being able to have a moment to yourselves was a nice option.

“Robin? I’m coming in…” you say as you knock on the door to alert her of your presence.

As you enter the room, you see her sitting on the bed still wearing the lilac kimono she had acquired in Wano. Your breath hitched each time you saw her in it and your heart began to race. You shut the door and walk toward her.

“Hey, beautiful! What are…” you stop mid-question at the sound of soft sniffles. Rushing to her side, you take a seat next to her.

“What’s wrong?” Concern obvious in the tone of your voice.

Placing the back of her hand to her mouth, she whimpers again, nodding her head in the negative. “It’s nothing, love, don’t worry,” she says, tears quietly streaming down her cheeks.

You rub her leg to comfort her. “Flower, please talk to me. You’ve been more quiet than usual since the battles ended. Are your injuries bothering you? I can go get Chopper,” you say, hoping she won’t be too proud to allow you to get her some help.

Wiping her tears away, she places her other hand atop yours, resting them together on her lap. She faces you, her eyes bluer than the waters of even the clearest ocean. The tears that linger make them glisten in a sadly stunning way. Even distraught she was a sight to behold.

“When I was fighting Black Maria, she called me a tramp and a burden to the crew. In the heat of the battle, none of that even registered. But now, those words…‘you’re a burden’… I can’t help but wonder sometimes if there’s some truth to that statement.”

You flip your hand over and hold hers tight. Giving it a reassuring squeeze, you wordlessly urge her to continue.

“At times, I do feel like I don’t belong. After spending years being treated like I wasn’t needed or that my existence itself was a crime…what if it’s all true and I’ve been lying to myself? I’m not proud of what I’ve done in the past, but I had to do it if I wanted any chance at survival…” tears burst forth once again, and you pull her into your lap and hold her close to your chest. You kiss the top of her head as you wait until she regains her composure.

Once she settles down, you caress her cheek as she listens to the steady rhythm of your heart. This grounds her and helps her clear her head.

“Robin, my love, you’re certainly not a burden and you shouldn’t be ashamed of what you had to do to survive. You said it yourself - you simply want to live.” Your soft smile brings a stop to her crying.

“You were alone for a very long time, and from such a young age, at that. The crew wouldn’t be the same if you weren’t here. We love and need you. Nami has someone she looks up to as an older sister, and the knowledge only you have helps her construct accurate maps. Usopp takes inspiration from your scary stories to come up with new weapons to protect himself.” You feel her chuckle against you at the humorous images this evokes.

“Zoro respects the strength and will you have, and only steps in to protect you when he feels it’s needed. Sanji cooks for all of us, but you know he’d make anything you asked of him to special order, just for you. I did actually feel a little bad when he cried when we told him we were together.” You both laugh at the memory of him sobbing on the kitchen counter after you revealed to the crew you were an item.

“Brook appreciates you for being one of the first crew members to accept a skeleton joining and seeing him as a person. Jinbei admires your battle ability and has mentioned to me he wouldn’t want to fight you. Franky has someone to talk to about Pluton and the potential of what the world government would do with it.” You pause for a moment to let her take in your words before continuing.

“Of course, Chopper sees you as a mother figure even if he doesn’t admit it. He’d be lost without your calm, steady presence amongst this rambunctious crew. Most importantly, there’s Luffy. You are the one who is going to help guide him and the rest of this crew to our dreams. He can only become king of the pirates with all of our help - everyone here has a role to play, and none of us are here by mistake. This crew is your nakama and they would never see you as a burden.”

Placing a finger gently under her chin, you tilt her head up to look at you. “As for me, you taught me how to love and that someone like me is worthy of being loved by someone like you. You allow me to be me and accept me without judgment. I would do anything for you, flower. If anything happened to you, I’d turn this world upside down to save you. Do you not remember what I told you when I confessed? I’m yours, forever and always. I love you, Robin,” you declare as you kiss her forehead. She smiles up at you as she leans in closer.

“You have no idea what that means to me. Thank you. You always know what to say to make me feel better. I love you, too, y/n,” she whispers as she leans in and gently brushes her lips against yours. You kiss for what seems like an eternity in the best way, but a sense of unease causes you to pull back.

Taking her hands in yours, you ask, “Wait…are you sure you want this? I didn’t say what I said for any other reason but to make you see how cherished you are and I don’t want you to feel li-”

“Shhh,” she places a finger to your lips before you can finish. “Trust me. I think this is something we both need right now.”

Who am I to argue?

She pulls you back to her and captures your mouth with hers. The soft sounds coming from both of you cause your body to thrum with need, but you don’t dare make a move. It’s her turn to feel empowered and what better way than to let her take the reins?

Her body weight shifts, and you move further back onto the bed you share with her. The scent of the freshly washed sheets underneath you mixed with the familiar smell of tea and old books on her skin is enough to drive you mad, but somehow you remain in control of your senses.

Robin slides on top of you, and your bodies fit together as if you were made for one another. The pad of her thumb now traces your bottom lip as if it were a page from her favorite story. Your tongue darts out for a taste, and you see the pupils of her gorgeous sapphire eyes dilate. Taking her hand and turning it slightly, you place a kiss on her palm. Your mouth meets her wrist and you can feel her pulse quicken against your lips.

She extracts herself from your grip and her hands seek the hem of your shirt. The feel of her fingertips on your flesh nearly sets you on fire. Despite having done this many times before, there’s a renewed sense of urgency to this moment. Your hands get lost in tangles of raven-black hair as you draw her into a deeper kiss.

The moan she lets out echoes throughout your body as she tugs at your top, coaxing you to assist her in shedding it. You pull it up and over your head, only to see she’s shedding her kimono. Your mouth runs dry. You’ve seen this play out before, but the sight never ceases to remind you just how lucky you are.

Eager to be as close as possible, you both quickly remove the remainder of your clothing.

Her tender kisses make you so dizzy you’re glad she’s the one on top. As she moves her hand to caress your breast, you can’t stop yourself from groaning her name.

“Robin…”

You feel her mouth form a grin against yours. She takes pride in knowing what you like and never fails to make your head spin.

“Yes, love…let me make you feel as good as you’ve made me feel tonight.” Her words are sweet and tender in tone, but erotic at the same time. You feel her fingers teasing at your nipple and your body arches into hers.

“Oh god…please…Robin…”

Her touches remain light, conveying the emotion of this delicate moment. She’s treating you as if you might break, and for all you know, she may be right. You feel her elegant hand brush past your belly, and your face flushes - not out of embarrassment, but out of knowledge and anticipation of what’s coming next.

Your arousal already coats the inside of your thighs, and you’re aching to feel her touch where it’s most needed. As if she’s read your mind, you feel her middle finger tease your entrance. Your head slams back into the pillow, and your reaction tells her you can easily take another finger. Robin meets no resistance as she slides into you.

“Ahhhhhh…Robin…”

“Mmmm…I love hearing you call out my name. You know I’ll always be there for you in any way you need me. Especially like this,” her movements are steady, practiced. You know each other’s bodies down to a science.

“Robin…going to…”

She dips her head down to your ear, the heat of her breath warming your skin. Her teeth graze the shell of your ear as her seductive voice - the voice that is both tender and teasing at the same time - whispers, “I know…let me hear you…”

And just like that, you shatter. Your eyes snap shut from the intensity of your orgasm, but the image of Robin’s beautiful smile remains etched in your mind.

She carefully moves to lay beside you and kisses your cheek as you bask in the afterglow of what’s just occurred. A strand of your hair sticks to your flushed face, and you feel her soft fingers brush it away as your breathing slows. When you turn your head to look over at her, you’re greeted by her gleaming smile.

“Welcome back, love,” she whispers coyly.

You lean over to kiss her and, in no time at all, your positions are now reversed. Words can only convey so much - now it’s her turn. When your lips part, you look into her eyes and say, “Now let me show you how loved you are.”

She wraps her arms around your neck and pulls you back down towards her, your mouths crashing together once more. You feel her tongue push past your lips and suddenly your chest feels like it’s on fire. Your hand hovers over her breast and you feel her hum in anticipation. Sliding your thumb back and forth over her hardening nipple, she sighs at your touch.

“I love how intelligent you are,” you murmur as you lean up to kiss her forehead. Making your way back to her lips, you continue, “I love your wit and humor, even when it’s dark and freaks out Usopp.” You feel her chuckle vibrate against your teeth. Knowing she’s now completely relaxed, you glide your hand from her breast to between her legs. She gasps as you lubricate your fingers with her slick.

As you kiss her neck, you whisper, “You are the bravest, strongest woman I know and it’s one of the many reasons I look up to you.” You mark her neck, leaving a reminder you know she’ll see in the morning and playfully chastise you for later.

Resting your chin on her chest, you watch as she closes her eyes in ecstasy at the feel of your fingertips on her bud. The beating of her heart is the most beautiful rhythm you’ve ever heard and reflects the vision that now lies beneath you.

“Your caring heart and selflessness are just a few of the many traits I adore.” You continue showering her in affirmations as you slide your finger up and down her slit.

“Y/n…I need you,” she whimpers.

“Of course, my flower. You know I’m always here to take care of you,” you reply as you sit up and gently part her legs. Positioning yourself between them, you place one hand next to her head for support. Your cores now aligned, you start to slowly thrust against her.

“Ohhhhhhh yes!” she moans.

You start to speed up your rhythm as the evidence of your arousal mixes with her own. With your other hand, you reach for hers and your fingers interlock.

Between ragged breaths, you somehow choke out, “I thank the universe every day for you. I love you, Robin.”

Her head snaps back and you feel her tremble under you. She moans your name between your whispers ‘I love you’ as her orgasm washes over her. You watch as she comes undone. As the only one who gets to see this side of her, you feel like the luckiest person in all of the Grand Line.

You grind out your own release and come once again, nearly toppling over. When you next open your eyes, a red-faced Robin is smiling back up at you. Bringing your face to hers, you nuzzle your nose against hers before lying down next to her. You pull her to you, her head pillowed comfortably against your chest. You run your hand through her hair and bring her hand to your chest where your heart steadily beats for her.

Kissing her forehead, you say, “I love you. You’re not a burden, and you’re not alone anymore. If you ever have these thoughts or feelings again, promise me you’ll come to me. We’ll talk it out. Or do this again,” you say with a wink.

You feel her burrow closer. “I promise. I love you, too. And…thank you.”

[anika-ann]

Back and Forth - part 6.1

Part 6 - Back-Up 1/2

Type: series; agent!reader, inhuman!reader

Pairing: Steve Rogers x reader    Word Count: 7500

Chapter summary:  In which the rescue party arrives for you and Steve... and Steve reflects back to the time in captivity. With you.

Series masterlist

Warnings: mentions of sensory overload, mentions of mental health issues, canon-typical violence, blood, violent thoughts, mentions of death, mentions of pain and unhealthy relationship to pain, mentions of chronic pan and chronic illness, questionable medical procedures, feels, language

A/N: ALWAYS MIND THE WARNINGS; dividers by @firefly-graphics 💕; moodboard is for the vibes and does not necessarily reflect reader’s appearance

A/N2: To the surprise of no one but me, we're getting anotehr two-part chapter. Ah well.... we get Steve's POV in return! Enjoy ✨

Being overwhelmed was far from a foreign state to Steve Rogers.

In fact, given his history, he would have thought he had seen it nearly all – and not only seen.

Earning enhanced senses, after having lived for over two decades with his sight and hearing impaired due to a long list of illnesses, equalled sudden sharp clarity and cacophony of overwhelming noise of all colours, tastes and smells. As welcomed as the change had been, since his body was finally widely regarded as useful enough, the transformation came as a package deal with an occasional sensory overload even after all the years he had had to adjust.

Enhanced memory, too, came with a price; with a crushing amount of detail laced into heart-warming memories as well the terrifying and painful ones, trapping him in his mind at times, during daylight as much as during night-time when he had less control over his own thoughts.

Assuming the title and mantle of Captain America, be in the past century or in the new millennium, was tied to a whole another source of overload, both mental and physical.

So truly, Steve was rather used to being overwhelmed in various senses of the word, handling it better at certain times and worse at others.

And yet – the past few hours were overwhelming in an entirely new sense, indescribable and as corporal as intangible.

Perhaps it was you.

Perhaps it was him being back to a regular human, even if not quite.

Perhaps it was becoming part Inhuman.

Perhaps it was everything hitting him at once on whole new scale he was not used to.

His brain was in a hazy overdrive by now; a strange fog and clarity, thoughts crawling in and dragging painfully and at lightning speed at once. Onslaught of emotions. Body drained from fighting a non-existent gunshot wound as well as a real one, still processing what he had experienced – and what he had learned.

Steve tried to push it all away and think hard how to help instead,despite your agonized scream still echoing in his ears pilling misery on top of his own – but spite could only get him so far.

The rollercoaster of the past hours was taking a true toll on him; and it was almost ironic that while his body had partially regressed to one of a regular human, it was the emotional and mental load that seemed to drain him hundred times more severely than the physical exertion – and overwhelmingly indeed.

Steve wasn’t one to cut himself some slack often, but perhaps he deserved it this time. And perhaps he would grant himself the luxury – once this endless, horrible experience only fool might call an adventure was over.

Seconds had felt like hours. Hours had felt like days. And every soul on Earth had better believe that Steve had been counting, trying to scramble for any resemblance of control, even as he had none.

Counting seconds, in thousands, hoping you hadn’t been taken too; then, that if you had been taken, that you were close to him somewhere. Then, praying that you were at least still alive, anywhere.

Yet, to have his second and third wish fulfilled brought no real joy and only a speckle of relief, because he had been taking stock; and while he knew you were nearby, he had no idea where you two actually were.

What he had known for quite a while was that something was wrong. He had known the moment when he first woken up, tied and chained – but that wasn’t exactly a new, let alone useful piece of information.

Helplessness and uncharacteristic weakness were everything but a good feeling too. Those didn’t look on anyone; but for a man of his past, feeling like having regressed to the weak body he used to own – and to have that happen in the least convenient moment possible, in the moment where he needed to be stronger than ever – forged the heaviest chain of all. One wrapped around his neck and tightening with every second ticking off.

And the crushing waves of emotion wouldn’t cease coming. Not to you; clearly, understandably.

And most definitely not to him.

Your panicked frustrated voice when you couldn’t project, cutting right through anger and frustration he himself felt but for entirely different reasons. A creeping suspicion he didn't dare to speak of, even as ‘impossible’ was a word Steve barely bothered to keep in his vernacular these days.

Then, your shared shock when the impossible turned out to be true; the briefest feeling of belonging and connection. He gripped onto that and used that to stomp on his doubts, anger and fears – because he had to. For your benefit. For the benefit of you both.

He slipped into the role of a leader because you deserved that.

You needed reassurance and guidance so you could rediscover that incredibly brave and capable person he knew; only to have the rug pulled right under your feet as soon as you found your footing, sending you literally to the ground – and sending Steve down a rapid spiral of chocking panic when he heard not one but two gunshots from your cell.

A heavy thud.

Complete, terrifying silence, interrupted only by his own deafeningly pounding heart before he managed to find his voice at least to defend you with words.

If there was anything to defend still.

The confident leader façade he had put on despite feeling lost cracked like an empty eggshell. A suffocating weight found seat on his chest instead, rage smouldering. His own thundering shouts contrasted starkly to the silent promise he made, to whoever was able to listen – that if Hydra had---  if you were-- he'd tear them apart with his bare fucking hands and it didn’t matter he couldn’t do that now, even if the fire in his veins burned all the hotter for that. He couldn’t do a single damn thing; trapped like a pathetic little human quivering and jerking his body in laughable attempt to free himself from bounds some cruel god had trapped him in.

He barely felt the jolt of sharp pain aside from the initial tug, as something in his shoulder snapped along with one of the many chains, but he did feel a stab of that pain with every other yank, exhausting and fuelling him at once.

You still made no sound; no scream, no whimper, nothing to latch his hopes onto. Had he had the capacity, he would blame the burning of tears in his eyes on the physical pain as not to let Hydra see he cared.

But he was beyond that. That was the damn least important of his problems at the moment. You were at the forefront and if he had thought seconds had felt like hours before, they felt like days at that moment.

And you were still silent.

Steve way beyond caring what information regarding his rather complicated relationship to you he’d give away. But he wasn’t above begging. Not when it was his responsibility to protect. To save. Not when it was you. Not when he hadn’t even had the chance to-

Please.

Please.

The suffocating relief at hearing your voice diluted his panic a fraction, but only accentuated the utter helplessness of his position; his hands literally tied, while you were stuck hanging with your life on a thread and having to help yourself, just so you wouldn’t bleed out in a cell right next to him.

God, the love and hate he had for your spite, for all the fight left in you, even if directed against him as you verbally snapped back. Fuck, so be it, he thought, even as his voice didn’t listen to him at all, barking orders he had wished he could have executed himself. So be it, just hold onto that fight in you.

And then, the most heartbreaking crack in your voice when you begged him.

Begged him not to make you do what you had to in order to survive.

You couldn’t have had the slightest clue about the firm grip you took on his heart that moment, how hard you squeezed and how violently you tugged – and it wasn't important. Nor was Steve’s acute need to grab you, hold you tight and somehow save you, sweep you away, to do the impossible task for you, to take away even the littlest fraction of your burden, somehow.

Projecting to you, as surreal as it was, was ironically the first thing that felt right in the past hours; even as the image of you, frail despite having just proven immense strength, was all kinds of wrong.

Steve hated fighting with you but seeing you there in a pool of blood, he would have taken hundreds of fights. It was almost funny that you hadn’t fought him about going to the gala, only protested in front of Tony – because Steve would love to take on that fight now, travel back in time and for all the sweet moments of holding you and talking to you, he'd let you win that fight and would have never gone to that damn place. Not if this was the outcome. The gorgeous image you had been only few hours prior kept flickering in Steve’s mind like a firefly teasing him to follow, to try to catch it, only for its light to die out and show dark crimson soaking the remnants of your dress instead.

The reason for trying his hardest to be soft when he treated you wasn’t guilt, even as he knew that this, all this wouldn’t have happened if it hadn’t been for him and it laid heavy on his conscience.

He'd treat you with utmost care possible in the conditions anyway; but his conscience made for his shaky hands. His conscience and the sight of you so ashen, a ghost of the stunning woman he had shared a dance with, the stubborn brave woman he worked with. He hoped his damnest that you didn't notice the tremble: he couldn’t afford that. You needed his support. You needed a rock to lean your weight onto even as he felt like a pebble that would fall apart to sand if someone squeezed it in their palm.

And he was so damn proud of what you had accomplished – proud and relieved – his respect for you growing tenfold. Grateful when you brushed over the slip of his tongue, smiling even, showing your humour even when he had let the endearments slip from his lips.

The tug on his heart at that was gentler this time, but no less insistent. The sheer trust in your eyes, the careful nuzzle into his touch when he crossed ever boundary possible because he needed to touch you, was a balm to his soul and acid at once, because maybe this was the only moment he’d get to touch you like this. Maybe that effort was fruitless and you two wouldn’t make it out. Maybe you would, but you’d quit, rushing back to Coulson’s team. Maybe you’d stay, but the wall that seemed to always be between you, preventing you from understanding each other, from listening, from growing closer, would only grow higher.

And yet; Steve revelled at the brief sensations, because he viscerally needed to feel that you were still there, not slipping away.

And then you did.

And so did he, the gaping hole in his chest burning and suffocating even as his flesh seemed unharmed, even if within seconds, his arm wasn't.

Bewilderment. Pain. And then that goddamn hope that this was just him – this was him feeling the pain, a little extra revenge from the artifact that had switched your powers for the effects of his serum. The faint hope slowly cracking as his mind filled with images of you wincing, hunching, grimacing in moments when you had probably thought no one was looking, barely visible but always there after having been hurt in your spectral form.

Then, all worry and wondering briefly forgotten as he preened, bewildered all over again but no less pleased of how high you regarded him, much higher than he deserved and certainly higher than he had ever thought. The threads of connection to you he had felt before solidifying and hardening in a difficult moment.

Understanding, a warm one – and then another, ice cold, turning below freezing. Your barely audible voice responding to questions charged with emotions Steve could barely contain with a battle raging within him. Because you had kept a painful secret. More than one.

Not where I come from.

Determination.

Admiration.

Compassion and affectionate sense of belonging, born anew; the understanding of one achy heart of another.

A promise he wasn’t sure he'd be able to keep when they barged into his cell and yours – and made him slip back into desperation and rage and self-hatred for his inability to project again and protect at least if not save. Steve hated himself for the swirl of pride in his chest when you refused to give up, trying to stall, to make them talk... until you couldn’t be brave anymore. Until you were begging him to stop trying to help, scared for yourself no doubt; but the fear for him, the stubborn conviction that it was your duty to protect the paradigm of perfection and virtue with speckless of recklessness and stubbornness you apparently thought he was, dripped from your quiet breathy voice.

A breathless I'm sorry, Steve, tearing a fresh gaping hole of panic in Steve’s stomach at the resignation in your voice speaking so painstakingly clearly of how you thought these were your final words to him.

“I’m sorry, Steve.”

Fuck everything.

Not in this damn life, not on his damn watch.

Steve squeezed his eyes shut and forced himself to goddamn at least try to block the pulsing pain and project again, heedless of your request, not caring if it tempted the Hydra agents in his cell to shoot him again – because there no universe in which he'd just stare into Hydra’s face and listened to your end and did nothing.

And then, at least, overwhelming relief flooding his veins; faster than his actual thoughts, since he was at his wits end.

The realization that it wasabout to be over was dull and intense, sudden as much as unexpected.

He registered the ground shaking under his feet barely seconds before two Avengers blasted through the door of his cell, only having just connected the dots as to what a sudden earthquake could mean besides a movement of tectonic plates.

Agent Daisy Johnson. Quake. The Inhuman with ability to feel and control vibrations, natural frequency of particles in every living and non-living thing. It flashed through Steve mind like a lightning; he hoped she’d quake Hydra agents’ bones apart.

But she wasn’t the one to appear in front of him as the sounds of repulsors hit his ears instead, a deadly shadow of enraged Winter Soldier knocking the two Hydra agents down as they still clutched on their fresh wounds caused by the Ironman himself.

Steve had never been so relieved to see a man in a metallic suit to leisurely walk into the room, his mask clicking open as the dust settled, revealing a half-smile, half-smirk.

The pressure in Steve’s chest, however, barely eased. Sharp pain still radiated from his non-existent and yet very real gunshot wound, as well as the one on his arm, and from the shoulder he had likely dislocated during his most intense fight against the maddeningly unyielding chains; his ribcage felt all the tighter not only for all that, but for the lingering anger and feeling of utter helplessness as he had been stuck and stunned while you had been tortured in ways he didn’t want to imagine but would haunt his nightmares anyway.

It crashed into his mind anew even as it had never left, a wake-up call snapping his from his haze.

Steve was overwhelmed to death and tired just as much, but it was still nothing compared to how injured you were.

And that was why the first thing he choked out through the tightness in his chest and throat, gaze burning into Tony’s irritatingly calm face was:

“She needs immediate med evac!”

“Hello to you too,” Tony hummed with what almost seemed as amusement, eyeing the chains with raised brows, and made his way to him.

Series of cries and crashes sounded from behind the wall, making Steve wince, head snapping the direction just as the ground shook again, a thud and something that distinctly sounded like breaking of a bone amplified tenfold causing his heart to stumble in his chest in fear. He knew sounds of a fight when he heard it; and while he knew that was a good thing – the recue party being able to what you couldn’t at the moment, exactly what he had wished for barely five seconds ago – it didn’t mean his body wasn’t vibrating with need to move to join that very fight.

And Tony was still walking to him calmly, without care in the world but seemingly with all the time there was in it, as if you hadn’t been shot twice, bleeding out, the only thing disturbing Tony from his walk of fame being a stray bullet from a Hydra agent who got punched to his face for the trouble, and that was distinctly your voice whimpering and Tony was just-

Steve yanked at the cuffs stubbornly, gritting his teeth when the action made his shoulder throb, little spots dancing at the edge of his vision – fresh wave of dread and rage pooled in his gut and made his vision laser sharp, much like his voice.

“Goddammit Tony, I’m serious! She’s-”

“We know Steve,” Bucky said evenly, worried gaze trailing over Steve’s body as he himself was twisting one of the goon’s arm behind his back in what Steve knew was a very painful angle. Good, he thought fleetingly, these bastards deserved to suffer. “Johnson managed to hack the cameras with Friday’s help as soon as we located you. The emergency team is ready...”

Almost pointed brief silence followed Bucky’s words, the noise of battle dying out, followed by gentler sounds; shuffling, gasps, voices speaking quietly; worried and disturbed, but firm.

Bucky smiled a bit. “And I'm sure Spectre’s getting medical attention as we speak.”

Steve’s eyes slipped shut as he took a wavering, agonized breath as his own wound cried for attention – but the violence in him, having been brewing for hours now, didn’t subdue. Your screams still echoed in his skull, even with his momentary memory working as one of an almost ordinary human.

He’d never forget that sound – not when you screamed the first time when they had shot you.  Not when you screamed just a few moments ago when they had done god-only-knows-what to bring you more pain.

He felt the curse roll off his tongue, acute desire to swear on Bucky and Tony and others for having wasted time hacking secured feed and watching as the wicked voices from behind the wall hurt you more, instead of rushing to the rescue faster – but in the back of his mind, he knew all too well they had done their best. Because they always did – especiallywhen not one, but two of them had fallen into Hydra’s clutches.

Steve knew that; but a lot of good that had done, hadn’t it?

Couldn’t they have just— if they had only arrived at least a few moments earlier, flown in faster, infiltrated the base more effectively, if Steve had pulled harder, if he had been able to focus a little further and project again, shield you, because apparently, he wasn’t about to bleed out or suffocate upon being shot to his damn chest in the spectral form even if it felt that way-- and had he had set himself on the death road by catching another, very real bullet, it wouldn’t have mattered because at least he’d be able to do something, goddammit, instead of being a sitting goddamn duck.

“Didn’t anyone tell you sleeveless shirts got out of fashion and were never actually fashionable, Cap?” Tony noted, seemingly unbothered and completely blind and deaf to Steve’s inner turmoil.

As Steve snapped his eyes open and shot him a murderous glare, he saw a flash of worry and anger in his friend’s face.

Distantly, Steve remembered that this was how Tony coped when he was overwhelmed himself.

Responding would have been a waste of breath and would have blocked the precious noise from behind the wall, telling Steve that you were indeed being taken care of, probably having already carried away while others took care of Doctor Barret and other excuses for human beings that had been in the cell with you.

You were being treated. You had the serum – or some version of it anyway. You’d be fine.

Even as ‘fine’ was the last word he’d use to describe the utter shitshow that had taken place in this base. Nothing about what had happened here was fine, even as there were fractions of it that Steve would now always cherish; too bad they were overweighted by the ton of things he’d rather never think of again but stuck to his memories like molasses to his fingers.

The pain from your spectral wounds lingered? You had always felt like this, even if no one could see a scratch? Could you still feel the wound from two weeks ago when you had been retrieving the data Hydra had planted now, as you had two actual gunshot wounds to your thighs, so poorly taken care of, wrapped in the missing sleeves Tony was mocking? Was it like that? As if it wasn’t enough that blood was no doubt seeping through the fabric still, and maybe they had pushed against those, poking-

Jesus Christ.

“This might hurt a bit,” Tony warned him, kneeling next to him and frowning at the chains again, clearly wondering about the safest and fastest way to remove them.

Steve automatically sighed a thank you as Tony’s metal-clad hands moved to break the metal with sheer strength, before Steve turned his gaze to Bucky again, the question nudging insistently on his brain; a phantom image of you, dressed in what had been a breathtaking gown soaked in blood, torn and dusty, pristine white cloth coloured crimson around your thighs, face distorted in agony even when he had tried his best to work in the gentlest way possible. God, the undiluted innocent trust in your eyes-

“How long you’ve been watching? What did they— they hurt her further. How?”

Bucky met Steve’s intense gaze, his own disapproving and resigned at once – a silent conversation not longer than two second took place. Bucky clearly didn’t want Steve to know, aware it would only twist the figurative knife in his gut, the knowledge of whatever had happened in the other room torturing him, feeding his blame for simply having sat there while you had suffered.

He was right. But Bucky was just as well-aware of the fact Steve would find out anyway; hell, Bucky probably thought Steve would watch the footage just to learn.

And he was damn right.

So he came to the correct conclusion that it was better to just tell. And Steve was grateful, even as he braced himself for a figurative punch to his stomach.

“Long enough to know not to mess with the artifact. Johson cursed like a sailor when she saw it,” Bucky said slowly, pausing as he cuffed the other Hydra agent. Steve’s eyes kept burning a hole into his head as Bucky glanced at him again, no doubt hoping Steve would change his mind. Vainly – but he hadn’t expected as much. His weary sigh told Steve that. “They restrained her so she couldn’t escape the touch of the artifact, even though they never got to that part. They forced her on her knees. She had to put her weight on her legs-“

Steve gritted his teeth as inferno of pure fury exploded inside him, flooding his strained muscles with power; his hands curled into fists, his left hand, still trapped, breaking the last remaining string on metal on him with ease when he pushed his whole body into a single tug.

He was going to smash their faces.

He was going to break every little bone in the sleazy Hydra bastard who sounded like he was revelling in your cries and he was going to enjoy it-

“Cool it, Rambo,” Tony said flatly, the thinnest thread of satisfaction lacing his voice nevertheless. “We get it, you’re mad as hell, but we need to take care of you too. You can go all John Wick on them later. You don’t have your usual strength, you’ve been shot, have about a thousand cuts, those shoulders of yours don’t look as hot as usual either and you breathe like you have at least five broken ribs,” he listed, surprisingly accurate. Not that Steve cared. He didn’t need to be enhanced nor in full strength to release the violence he was now brimming with; he had seen ordinary humans commit unspeakable crimes with their bare hands. He could do the same if he pleased. And it would – please him, that was. They had hurt you; and then they hurt you further, just because they could, when you couldn’t even defend yourself, when he was right fucking there- “Come on, Cap. Let’s leave this shitshow behind.”

Two of Coulson’s agents whom Steve vaguely recalled by name – Agent Mackenzie and Agent May – strode in, taking the two Hydra agents off Bucky’s hands. Bucky was by Steve’s side in a blink of an eye, helping him up; it honestly surprised Steve how much he had to appreciate that, his legs wobbly, the world a little hazy at the edges of his vision causing him to grip on Bucky’s arm, the pressure transferring to the centre of Steve’s chest and causing him to wheeze silently at the fresh burst of pain.

Okay, shit, maybe giving Hydra hell could be postponed a bit-

“Easy, pal. You’ll be okay, but you really look like hell now,” Bucky said, Steve involuntarily proving his point when his left knee gave out momentarily, the only thing saving him from falling being Tony’s swift reaction as he supported him from other side. When had he got so light-headed? “Yeah okay, maybe walking isn’t the best idea-“

“I’m fine.”

He was. Definitely in an infinitely better state than you.

“Sure you are, pal, and I’m the President-“

“Stark, don’t, the situation is horror-like enough as it is,” Bucky huffed, helping Steve hobble. “You stumble again, I’m carrying you bridal style, punk. Then we figure out how to reverse the effect of that damn thing and-“

“No!” Steve cried out on instinct, energized at once – and earning glances shocked enough to elaborate. “I mean… there’s enough time for that. I’m… not fine, but I’m alright enough. We need to make sure the change is safe first. We… we don’t know how exactly it works. And trial and error is not an option.”  

It was not. There was no chance in hell Steve was going to test whether you’d be able to hold on without the serum with the injuries you had even in a controlled medical environment, and that was just one of his concerns. There were several others.

Where Tony was satisfied with his explanation, Bucky’s gaze lingered on him, a silent question he didn’t have to voice, because he already knew the answer; a fond and exasperated faint smile formed on his face.

You want the healing factor to do its work before you switch it again, don’t you?

Damn right Steve wanted that.

His feet might feel heavy, blood-flow restoring only now as he had moved the stiff muscle, but his brain was still working – and there was no way he’d touch that damn artifact with a ten-feet pole until he knew you were stabilized at least. Preferably later, because God knew Bucky was right; Steve might be aching all over, but you most definitely needed his healing factor a lot more at the moment.

And if there was the slightest chance that artifact might mess with either of you and your powers further, that was just more reason – one Steve would gladly share and point out at the reason – to wait.

The switch would be attempted – for sure.

The chance was probably never going to be a clean zero and the mere idea of staying this way – without an essential part of him, the part of him that enabled him to fight for what he believed in – was paralysing, no matter that he would have had a different and very useful power in return. He imagined that beside the healing factor which you could immensely benefit from, you might appreciate the other quirks too, but would prefer having your powers back still. Even as you were an excellent fighter and could hold your own more than well, with your true power, one that had nothing to do with mutations, being in your mind and heart. But your Inhuman power was a part of you as much as the serum was part of him.

The switch would be attempted – but in the right time.Steve was not going to take another risk, nor approve of anyone else taking it. But for sure - both of you would definitely welcome the return to the norm; at least where abilities were concerned.

If you’d revert to your old ways in your interaction as well remained to be seen – but unlike with the power switch, no amount of prior research or stalling would help Steve predict the outcome.

“Is Agent Campbell with you?” Steve panted, forcing himself to stay focused on the puzzle he could actually help solving. “He’s-“

“-not, he’s already diving into archives and all the retrieved records from the cute little cult-like community of Inhumans they had, researching the artifact,” Tony interjected, a brief smirk audible in his voice. “If anyone can make sense of Jiaying’s notes, it’s him. We know. We might not have not had our head strategist but we can do okay when it comes to it, Cap.”

A tired smile curled Steve’s lips upward.

“Thank you. I know you’re just fine without me,” Steve noted, smile slowly slipping when he remembered another piece of intel they needed to explore. “Can you-- we need to check up on Spectre’s mother.”

Bucky frowned at him in confusion. “They took her too? No other prisoner has been reported in this facility yet.”

Stev took a wavering breath as they exited the building, fresh air feeling like heaven despite the burning in his lungs – and the sight of multiple quinjets as well – and only then explained.

“Not sure. They just mentioned her in passing. Could be that she’s working with them. Could be they used her Inhumans research. Could be she’s in danger or hurt. I’m not sure, maybe they just mentioned her to get a rise out of Spectre. Either way, we need to know.”

“We’ll get right on that, pal,” Bucky assured him, grabbing his arm firmer to help him hop on the jet. “Now let’s get you home.”

A whole medical team was on Steve the second he stepped into the plane. However, as Tony started the quinjet, the ramp rising however, Steve was deaf to the questions asked; something much more important caught his attention.

One of Tony’s brilliant inventions, a modification of his suits, a stretcher designed for the field where wheels were a real inconvenience.

Two field medics; and you.

He only got a glimpse as the group headed towards the quinjet, but he had seen enough.

Unconscious. Ashen. Bloodied. Improvised bandages soaked through with crimson as you had been apparently forced to your knees. Remnants of your beautiful evening gown, one that made his heart beat its way out of his chest and sear, a precious sight to behold, a memory to cherish; the sight and all other senses full of you as you had smiled mildly, as you chuckled, as he held you in his arms, having moved almost effortlessly across the dancefloor.

And this was the price you paid; your punishment for Steve’s and others’ insistence that it would be fine to go to the auction.

God, he was such an idiot.

Arrogant idiot who had thought that if something had gone awry a bit, he’d handle it, especially with you by his side. He had seen the golden opportunity to apologize, to smoothen the rough relationship between you two at least a bit, to make a nice memory with you, so desperate to take a chance to show himself in a better light that for once he hadn’t minded Tony meddling.

This was Steve’s punishment for that arrogance and focusing on his own agenda; and it wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair, because you were taking the brunt of the impact of the consequences of his actions – and the lack of it. You were paying the price for his irresponsibility, for his incompetence.

God, how he wished he could turn the clock back.

Like so many times before.

He was sure his lips were moving, automatically responding to the questions of the meticulous medical team eventually. But that image of you remained in his mind, even when he closed his eyes, hazy due to pain medication he didn’t remember receiving.

The fact that it had done nothing to relieve the pain from the wound he had suffered when in his spectral form only made his stomach turn further.

Your pain lingered. And unless his brain was more messed up than he had thought, not only that your pain lingered for days, weeks even, but you also had no relief for it.

Steve just wanted to scream and punch and tear something apart.

“You won’t believe me, but it needs to be said,” a mild voice sounded next to him, causing his eyes to snap open in fright; he hadn’t noticed people moving around. Hadn’t noticed another of his friends arriving. Did you have someone close nearby? They might be operating on you already, despite the risks, so probably not. “Steve, look at me.”

It was hard to resist Natasha’s gentle command, but Steve had been through a lot harder trials today. Yesterday? Both? It had been light outside…

He kept staring ahead, her face, the flash of red hair, appearing on his vision even as his gaze wouldn’t focus on her.

He knew what she was going to say. It was clear as day – and she was right about one thing. He wouldn’t believe her. He couldn’t.

“This isn’t your fault.”

If Steve’s chest didn’t hurt so much and if he wasn’t trying to pretend like he was listening, he’d scoff.

“Listen to the lady, punk,” Bucky added. “She knows her shit. We all… pushed you a little bit to go. No one could have known.”

“We should have.” I should have.

Both of his friends’ faces came into focus as Steve spoke up, uncannily similar concerned expression on their features.

“Maybe. But we can’t change that now – and you know I hate trying to look at the bright side of things just to cover up for the hard dark facts, but we did discover a large base of operations and eliminated it thanks to you two,” Natasha noted and Steve gritted his teeth as he inhaled sharply, his lungs crying out in consequence. “That might have not been the plan, but it still counts. What you two have been through there – and we don’t know half of it, I’m sure – wasn’t for nothing.”

Steve gulped, averting her gaze. He couldn’t say she didn’t have valid arguments; there were good things that came out it indeed, the truth about how your powers worked among them, because at least now Steve would be able to take that into account after you hopefully managed to switch powers back. But that didn’t mean the horrible experience was lessened for it.

It didn’t mean it had been worth it.

“And you did a damn good job patching her up in that situation,” Bucky argued further, only making Steve’s stomach churn. Because that wasn’t true. He hadn’t been fast enough. You did the hardest work. You- “We know enough to understand you managed to project? I mean-“

“She dug out the bullets herself,” Steve said dully, despite the images his mind had conjured about that flaring up inside his head again being impossibly vivid and nauseating.

Bucky’s voice fell silent and Steve took satisfaction – a sick one, one knew – in the horror casting shadows over both Natasha’s and Bucky faces. Good. He needed them to understand. He needed them to understand that despite the state they found you in – precisely for that, perhaps – you were a goddamn fighter.

And he had failed you. 

“She dug out the bullets herself while coaching me through projecting to the hallway so we could get out. Only when that didn’t work, I projected to her and found her barely conscious, but with two damn bullets out and her hands and legs soaking in her own blood. Don’t tell me-“

“She’s one tough agent, Steve, we get the message,” Natasha interrupted his sombre speech flatly, face strict when he snapped his gaze to her; but her voice still spoke of warmth. “We know that and my respect to her only grows with every mission, but that doesn’t diminish your merit. Controlling a power which you had an entirety of few hours – of which most you spent unconscious, I assume – enough to get to her, taking care of her after that, was still hard work. You were both without your usual powers. Clearly, you both pushed beyond your limits. And survived, thanks to each other. But you alone did a good job.”

Steve averted her gaze, his face and the burn of angry exhausted tears probably saying it all: Did I?

I did nothing.

I didn’t do enough.

When she said it like that, it sounded like he had managed quite the feat, but it still didn’t feel like enough. It still felt like a failure on his part; but God, was she right when she said you had outdone yourself, fighting tooth and nail and pushing yourself to do the unthinkable and succeeding.

Steve cleared his throat, hoping to swallow the lump having grown there.

“How did you find us?” he asked, aware his friends would recognize that as clear evasion of digging deeper into the topic.

And hopefully, they’d take it.

Even with that sigh on their part.

The corners of Steve’s lips twitched up a bit at the ridiculously coordinated sound of exasperation and exhaustion from Bucky and Natasha; they were good for each other. Absurdly so.

“Barret was on the shortlist of my suspects,” Natasha explained simply. “For all the sophisticated manipulations and tricks, trying to get our scientists do their dirty work, no one thought of the possibility of us tracking him once we knew he could be the mole.”

“Cocky bastards,” Bucky hummed. “Luckily.”

Steve couldn’t but agree; he might have been pissed at the universe for the team not having appeared earlier, but he didn’t want to imagine what they would have found had they come later.

“How did Coulson’s team get involved?”

Bucky’s sudden grin seemed out of place, but warmed Steve’s heart anyway.

“You’ll like this one. Johnson was keeping tabs on the mission – the gala, that is. She actually recovered a draft of Spectre’s message about the artifact as soon as she found out about the ambush, came barging into the Tower with a few friends at her heels. She still had a cut on her forehead from their own mission. Speaking of tough women…”

Natasha smirked; and Steve’s smile widened, the sign of joy feeling genuine for the first time.

You did have someone by your bedside, even as most of your current team fussed over him, maybe even for that exact reason. Coulson’s team – your friends – were in your corner. Likely in every sense of the world. Good.

His stomach dropped to his feet only when the idea occurred to him that it might be enough for you to draw you back to Coulson. Away from the Avengers. Him included.

Gritting his teeth, he forbade himself to worry about that now. Even if that was the case, he would have to accept it; he’d have to be happy for you. He’d have to. He wouldn’t have a word to say against that decision. He hadn’t exactly done the stellar job of making you feel welcome, and as for keeping you safe-

“That’s good,” Steve said weakly at least, stomping on the unpleasant thoughts, latching onto the bright side – if it wasn’t for Agent Johnson, the rescue party could have been smaller. And slower. He was beyond grateful for the friends you had. “She’s a good friend… and I hope she’s been treated by now?”

“She was. As much as was possible during the flight anyway. And she does seem like a good friend... one who drives Tony crazy.”

Steve couldn’t but grin at Natasha’s sidenote, especially since he heard someone approaching from behind, probably the man in question himself. “Even better.”

“I heard that, Cap! How’s he doing, doc?”

Doctor Shaw glanced at Steve briefly, waiting for his approval, before he secured another butterfly band-aid over the cut on his forearm. Steve just nodded.

“Well, I’ll be able to tell more once we’re at the Tower, but for now, I’m confident enough to say that the patient will eventually make a full recovery.”

“Especially after he gets his mojo back, right?” Tony added, earning a slightly amused raised brow from the man.

“If you are referring to regaining the effects of the serum, particularly the increased accelerated healing factor, then yes, Mr. Stark. I’m hopeful.”

“There’s no rush with that-“ Steve protested instinctively, only for Natasha to carefully wrap her fingers around his left wrist – the least injured non-intimate part of a body she could find.

“We’ll figure it out, Steve. Together.”

And she’ll be fine too, the look in her eyes said, causing Steve’s shoulders to slump and making him internally wince in pain.

“Alright, Captain Rogers. Are you comfortable with me reporting-“

“Yes, Doctor Shaw. Proceed,” Steve said before the doctor could finish asking about sharing his medical information with three other people present, causing the man to smile briefly.

“Right. Your dislocated shoulder is stabilized for now, as is the gunshot wound. I would advise rest, bedrest preferably, and I’d recommend you to respect it this time as the effects of the serum, particularly the healing factor, do not seem to be present.”

Steve pointedly ignored the two piercing gazes and one snort from his friends at the note about him respecting doctor’s orders. He did respect all medical personnel immensely, both as people and professionals – there were simply times at which he couldn’t entirely follow their recommendations.

Doctor Shaw cleared his throat before he continued.

“The cut on your forehead was minor, as the majority of the cuts on your arms, apart from three of them with about two stitches each, they should heal within a few days. We disinfected it thoroughly, but we will monitor the progress regularly, especially for signs of infection. Again, if you could limit straining your muscles by let’s say lifting heavy objects, it would certainly help. As for the injury under your eye and over your cheek, there is no fracture and the swelling is going to disperse within hours. Do expect a bruise, however. Again, my recommendation is to rest. And do not hesitate to report if you feel that you should receive a higher dose of pain medication – I admit we do have slight trouble calculating the dose as we are in the process of determining the metabolization of various medication in the current state of your body.”

He made another pause, frowning, first at his notes in the chart and then at Steve.

“Now, before I leave you to it, I detected no injuries to your ribs or sternum, no swelling or bruising or worse, yet you are clearly in pain, having difficulty breathing. We can talk about fresh higher dose of fentanyl once we get to the base to relieve you, but as of now, do you have any idea what could be the cause for-“

“I’m fine. It’s… my pain is about two on the scale-“ of three “of ten, the breathing it probably just the adrenalin still wearing off. That is possible, no?” Steve suggested, hoping his lie sounded at least a fraction more convincing to the doctor and his friends than to himself.

Now that the pain from other injuries subdued, it felt like someone was drilling a hole not his chest and then poked around once he broke through the bone to the insides; or as if someone shot him. But he couldn’t say that without casting suspicion on you. He couldn’t do that until he had a plan of approaching the issue, preferably with you even if he felt like benching you forever for the stunt you had been pulling at him and the whole team – and possibly you previous team. What were you even thinking?

The doctor eyed him curiously, but nodded at last, clearly satisfied for the moment.

“I’m simply going to take some rest and then I’ll be as good as new,” Steve added, an innocent – but honestly grateful to all the care the medical provided – smile on his lips.  

He would swear Bucky mumbled ‘little shit’ under his breath. Doctor Shaw dared to raise a questioning eyebrow, clearly seeing Steve was trying to butter him up, but didn’t protest and took his leave.

Steve felt three slightly suspicious glares remain, but no one asked. For now.

They were about to land anyway.

Next chapter

Series masterlist // S.R. masterlist

Sorry it took so long, loves, life - eh🥲

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I hope April has been treating you well - and if not, it's about to change 💕