#including: HER BOOTS finally. Her camp clothes & her guardian

[feleshero]

❝ Dreamt (a) devil wanted my soul, again. I can't remember my answer. ❞

[revive-the-fandom]

Now you may be asking “Isabel, what’s the point of writing a small essay on a minor character from a kids movie?” and I’ll tell you!  

NoneofmyfriendswillputupwithmybullshitThere is no point!  I just like writing things about things I like!  And I wanna write about

Her.

Because she was a cool fucking character!  With an awesome design!  And I don’t give her enough attention!

And that’s her introduction!  A large, chunky girl wearing a black T-shirt and a pretty pink cardigan looking absolutely murderous.  She’s tough and strong and intimidating.  How often do we get that from animated little girls?  Astrid is all of those things but she’s also tiny, and wearing form fitting ‘tough action girl’ clothes.  Cupcake gets big ole boots and a freaking tutu!  Her hair is messy and nothing she wears matches and she clearly doesn’t put up with anyone’s shit!

I mean,

look how scared these guys are of her!  Pippa and Monty are more timid but Claude, Caleb and Jamie seem like regular old roughhousing tough kids until this moment.  And they’re all scared of a girl in a tutu!  Like, bullying is obviously not acceptable but so much media portrays the bullies as football players or edgy kids who smoke, or a manipulative and condescending queen bee type.  Cupcake is a big, quiet girl in a tutu.

and when she finally turns to the dark side and joins their play?  She’s not suddenly delicate or girly girl.  She chases them with a lump of snow larger than her own head.  And seems so utterly impressed by Jamie’s sled ride through town!

but still has the empathy to be worried when he crashes and gets hit by a runaway sofa

and when the others admit to constant nightmares she shows a lot of empathy and understanding towards the group (Caleb in particular) 

she seems to be able to read people too!  Claude, Caleb and Jamie push each other around a lot.  Pippa and Monty don’t.  So once Cupcake is added to the group she starts pushing them around too, starting with Caleb.

Poor kid.

Time to talk about Cupcake and her belief in the Guardians!

She’s super into unicorns (obviously)

but it’s never confirmed if they’re real like the Leprecaun and the Groundhog (I suppose the Groundhog was necessary since it’s partially staged in Pennsylvania) 

however she is shown to be very well connected to the spirit world, at least unconsciously.  Aside from Jamie and Sophie, Cupcake has the most interactions with the Guardians and the Spirits around them.

She’s the first to be influenced by Jack’s magic on screen (and the only one of the group to experience this)

She’s sent dreamsand and nightmares in one night, plus she’s visited personally by Pitch on the eve of his first attack on the Guardians

She’s also the first of Jamie’s friends to be visited by Jack, she’s the first to get outside and sled with them (indirectly convincing the twins to join the sledding) and seems to have no trouble reigniting her belief in the Guardians and believing in Jack off the bat.

She’s techincally Jack’s second believer, and she’s also the second one to stand up to Pitch and defend the Guardians

She instigates the fight against the nightmares

and overall has the most interactions with spirits.  She’s one of those characters that bumps into the spirit world without wanting or trying to.

And then there’s the question of her home life and her family.  Her home appears a couple of times during the film, though it’s not as intimately known as the Bennett’s home.  It’s easiest to find during Pitch’s introduction here

her room is the one with the blue light.

I’m going to go on a tangent here and talk about her house and it’s location.  Because as you can see here it’s three floors above a shop and next to what I assume is the town hall. 

The shop is visible in multiple scenes, such as the sled ride at the beginning

which means that her house is adjacent to the town hall and the square with the statue

yet another landmark is the petrol station

where the final battle occurs (god Cupcake’s room has the best view for this movie)

... Actually...  now that I’m looking, I’m gonna have to make a ‘spot-Cupcake’s-house’ post bc this is getting ridiculous lol

Now my question is this: how much of the building does Cupcake’s family own?  

There’s a couple of maps (neither are true to the film istelf but...) by Peter Maynez one of which lists Cupcake’s home as a ‘loft’ which implies that her family owns just the top floor or so.  Which is fine... except...

what apartment has a dog door????

So I propose that Cupcake’s family is actually loaded and owns the whole building including the shop.  That way there could be a portion of the ground floor that’s part of their apartment.

Which brings me onto the shop itself.  It’s name is clearest in this shot

Kice’s BAIT & TACKLE

I’m not well versed in fishing terminology but it does appear to be a fishing shop.  Now I have been informed by my dad who has been to the US unlike me, that this would be full of fishing gear and also maybe hunting gear (maybe guns? idk I’m British I don’t know the rules about guns - tho Burgess is confirmed to be in Pennsylvania if it’s state by state?), camping gear or general outdoors equipment so probably a decent amount of income.

Kice seems to be a surname.  I might have gotten the wrong end of the stick here but that’s what I’m assuming for now.   Kice (according to Ancestry) seems to be a Germanic/Slavic last name, which may be Cupcake’s last name?  

Cupcake’s family is also a mystery but we do know that this guy(?) exists

and that he likes to read the newspaper in the morning

so he may be her father or father figure?  They might not even be a guy but they do have a stereotypical masculine figure so I’m going with that?

anyway, weird shot next!

I spy with my little eye three pairs of shoes.  These are three different types of shoes so they may all belong to one person, or they have three other people in the house and these are their current shoes?  I think Cupcake keeps her shoes in her room/next to her bed so 

I would also say that considering the (possible) size of their house it would be easy for her to have siblings living with her (younger so they don’t keep shoes by the door, or older so they could be out all night).

(The heavy decoration in Cupcake’s room also implies that the family has money)

Cupcake/Pippa&Monty/Claude&Caleb/Jamie&Sophie/Town of Burgess

[cass-chan12]

Felony of the Heart (Ch 2)

Fandom: Fairy Tail Genre: Romance and Friendship Pairing: Main- NaLu. Sides- Gajevy, Gruvia and Jerza

Summary: What would you do if you were forced into a school that deals with Delinquents and young adults that have committed felonies? Lucy Heartfilia would rather chance it than going back home to being married off. What lies ahead for the blonde is unknown but she's convinced she can make it through with him by her side

Chapter one

CHAPTER TWO

"How we need another soul to cling to"- Sylvia Plath

Lying in the darkness was scarier than I imagined.

Sleep would never claim me that first night, from the tiniest of sounds my eyes would snap open and stare at the ceiling for ages. No thought would come to mind, no tear would form in my eyes now would words come to my mouth. All I could focus on was the occasional buzzing of a mosquito or one of the other girl's soft snores. I continued to listen and I would pick up on new sounds such as the strong wind outside creating a gentle howl, or a creaking sound of wood outside the room, which proved we were literally watched over 24/7.

It must be past midnight and the lids of my eyes didn't falter and my twists and turns in my bed from the restlessness made too much commotion, so I decided to stay on the side facing my neighbour's bed. It was the small bluenette I sat next to in Confessional's. She was fast asleep with tear stains on her face; I had heard her cry tonight but chose to ignore it. We all did in this dorm; there were a lot of young girls in here- which led me to ask why they would do such heinous things to get in here. But I can't judge, I don't know them or what they've done. I'm wary of making friends here but the loneliness makes my heart ache. Back at the house this feeling came many times, but I had friends there to stop the aching. I was alone now and I don't know how long it will last.

I did manage to sleep, maybe a few hours. The morning siren went off and boomed across the campus; waking all of us up. Moans and grumbles creaked in the room similar to the movement of zombies, all the girls, including myself, got ready for our first day of learning and disciplining- as the Principal explained to us yesterday.

There were a lot of rules and regulations set, it seemed like they must have copied a prison handbook.

1) All electrical devices are prohibited

2) The main house, Gardens, sports grounds (Aka the boot camp course) are prohibited to enter unless accompanied by a supervisor or teacher.

3) The front and back gate, the fence and the opposite sex's dormitory are prohibited with or without supervisor or teacher. If you are caught in any of these areas, you will be punished with a week's worth of community service.

4) Flashy and bright clothing will be taken from personal items.

5) Personal items must be kept in the provided foot locker under each student's bed.

6) Wake up calls; Monday-Friday 5:30am, Saturday and Sunday 6:00am. Breakfast will be served at 7:00am on all days

7) Before leaving to Breakfast, dormitories must be cleaned to House guardian's approval and students must be dressed accordingly.

8) Classes for students start at 8:00am- 16:00pm. Dinner is at 18:00pm. Lights out at 21:00pm

9) Mondays gather for assembly. Confessional groups are on Sunday at 10:00am.

10) Any attempt of escape will result in a transfer to a state prison.

But the way I understood it, this place was a state prison. This was barely a school besides the actual classes, not to mention we get cleaning assignments every day. It will be tough for me since I didn't have to do that back home, but between cleaning a toilet and going home… I'd clean every single one here instead of going back.

As I put on my clothes I looked to the outside window, some students where already going to the cafeteria in which my stomach growled for attention. I finished putting the ugly grey uniform on and tied my hair loosely with a hair tie that was in my foot locker under my bed. When I got the okay to leave after I cleaned my section I walked down the stairs and peeked into the dormitory rooms I passed and the aura was plain miserable. My generation really loves their sleep…

I reached the outside of the Dorm house and through the trees I noticed the sky was clouding up, slowly becoming overcast. The mood is as depressing as it can get, but now I don't know whether I can last till Lunch. My shoes clacked against the cobblestone pavement and the many shushed tones of voices swept passed me, either it was gossiping or the fear of speaking too loud in the hell hole. I ignored the comments that were loud enough to hear, but one word kept coming up.

Alone

Yes I am alone but so was everyone else. It occurred to me how true that statement was when I collected my breakfast and sat one of the large tables. Everyone spoke to each other but their eyes and expressions showed those of an outsider. I saw a few of the people that where in my Confessional session, I noticed especially the small blue haired girl; whose bed is next to mine in the dorm. She looked lost and depressed, searching for a seat.

I slowly lifted my arm and waved to her, she blinked and shuffled her feet shyly towards me. She placed her tray across from mine and sat down keeping her face downwards hiding her expression. I coughed trying to catch her attention and get some eye contact which seemed like the only attention I could get here.

"I'm Lucy. But you probably know that" I joked dryly.

She looked up like a helpless animal and smiled slightly. "I'm Levy. Likewise" she countered.

I smiled at her and turned my attention back at my food, which looked more inedible than when I picked it up in the first place.

"This food looks foul." I said dropping my spoon back in my bowl.

"Back at my old school, it wasn't any different." Levy said taking a bite from her oatmeal.

I frowned at the plate losing my appetite quick. Until I felt someone else sit at the table.

"Here; try putting this in. It'll make it taste better." A female voice said

I peered up and saw red; a beautiful scarlet red. It was the girl from my Confessional group, and even though her hair was neatly tied up it was still striking as ever. She handed me some Honey in a small container which clearly wasn't given out in the school. I took it stealthily without anyone else seeing and quickly added it to my porridge. I took a bite and moaned in delight, the taste of something so simply sweet was delectable.

"That's so much better, thanks." I said.

She smiled and lifted her tray to walk away. But I coughed to stop her "You want to sit with us?" I asked shyly.

She smiled again with a little red hue sprinkled on her cheeks, giving away the suspicion she wanted to sit there in the first place. She put her tray next to mine and sat down tucking a stray piece of her pretty hair behind her ear. She cautiously brought more honey out of her pocket and added it to her porridge.

"May I ask where you get this?" Levy asked.

Erza 'hmmed' while eating her breakfast. She swallowed and then smiled "Before they took my personal stuff I snatched my recipe for strawberry shortcake and exchanged it for anything I want out the kitchen."

Levy and I were shocked, just how good was this recipe if it gave her fulltime access to the kitchen?

"Wouldn't you get in trouble if one of the dictators found out?" I asked

She smiled again which was comforting since this place really didn't showcase anything to smile about. Erza's features were calm too, it was strangely soothing. I thought about it, her and I were in the same boat. In confessionals Zancrow mentioned she pleaded guilty with the case she was charged with, and not to mention that blue haired kid admitted she was dragged into his situation.

She didn't belong here either.

"Well I had a friend in here before I arrived and he gave me some tips of the school. He also told me that the cafeteria is the safest place to breathe in here." she explained

I looked around the area and it did seem happier than everywhere else. The chattering was louder and sounded like a normal high school; which kind of made me anxious.

"Why is that?" Levy asked.

Erza pushed her tray away from her and rubbed her belly in satisfaction. "Ahhh… I think it has to do with the cafeteria supervisor. Rumour is that he blows his duty to tend to his prized doll collection."

I wasn't sure I heard properly but Levy was laughing which made me giggle a bit too. Sounds like a freaky dude if that were true, but regardless the room seemed less depressing and did lift my mood. It was strange how I made two friends in here, although both really didn't look like they belonged here in the first place.

I couldn't for a fact, believe the small bluenette in front of me, was in here. She was the size of a small child and was in her bed crying her eyes out only a few hours ago. It didn't fit either way you looked at it, but my thoughts went back to what she said in the confessional room, she said she only did what she did to get enough money and run away from home. I can relate, so who am I to judge her. And of course; Erza being dragged into something by that blue-haired guy, from her personality she seemed very girly but at the same time she had an aura of respect around her: Something you wouldn't find in a real Delinquent. I should stop pretences and judging, I will be around these people for who knows how long and I might learn a thing or two like I had meeting Levy and Erza.

It was almost time to go to class so I waved goodbye to Levy and Erza and went back to my dorm to get my books that were pre-ordered by the school. I grabbed the books and stuffed them in a backpack that was in my footlocker. A small slip of paper fell out of one of the books which looked like my schedule. I cringed a bit at my classes; every lesson was just about two hours, I had Math then Languages, after was History then finally Sciences. We had one lunch break for 45 minutes.

I'm going to die today.

I sighed heavily and walked to the school building slowly with the weight of the bag on my back and the wind sweeping past my face. I missed the sun; the trees in this place created an impregnable shield for sunlight to come in. The clouds would sometimes break away for some sunlight, but the only opening there to let sunlight come through was beyond the front gate. My gaze at beyond the gate looked suspicious to the guards patrolling the yards; I shifted my gaze at the school building and avoided eye contact.

Entering the school, there were more guards posted by the door checking our bags and pockets. This made me extremely uncomfortable; the woman guard scratched through my bag and checked my pockets (with no regard to the manner she was doing it.)

The school looked the same with every door I passed or every corner I turned; which would make it very easy to be late to class with everything looking the same. Students were trying to find their homerooms, many of which bumped into me and roughly I might add. Some of the students that did looked incredibly scary, and I was scared that if I had complained I might be flattened.

As I kept walking I recognised the guy with piercings on his face from my Confessional session, Gajeel, I think his name was, except he had them taken out and his long black hair had been chopped off. Normal didn't suit him. He noticed I was staring, his response made me quake in fear.

"What are you staring at you Bitch!" he yelled.

Startling the other students I kept my head down and quickly apologised. I sprinted off down the hall to avoid any further confrontation but stopped as I heard another voice.

"Calm down you shithead!"

My body swung around as I heard the familiar voice. The blur of pink filled my sight and gnarling teeth become the second thing I saw.

"You wanna start with me you pyromaniac?!" Gajeel yelled.

"You started this fight when you yelled at her!"

The boys were centimetres away from starting a fist fight. I quickly dashed to the pink haired pyro and grazed my fingers on his shoulder "Natsu" I mumbled.

He didn't listen and kept staring at Gajeel, growling like a beast. I put my hand on his shoulder this time. "Natsu stop." I said with my voice trembling.

He looked over his shoulder and caught sight of my face. His onyx eyes that displayed anger and ferocity had simmered down and dulled. He was about to say something until I felt a hand grabbing my arm.

I was shoved back by one of the men that had escorted me yesterday. Two more of his co-workers roughly pushed themselves though the crowd that had gathered when the commotion had started. The large men both pushed Natsu and Gajeel against the floor with their arms twisted to their backs. Yelps and hisses emitted from the boys and my own pain of the man's grip was ignored from what my eyes were witnessing.

"I understand your love for violence, but obviously your peanut sized brains don't understand where you currently are" appeared another voice.

My fear escalated. This man was beyond intimidating, he was fairly normal looking but his stature was big and his eyes were cold and vicious. His voice was deep and sent shivers down my spine.

"Greetings Mr Dragneel, Mr Redfox, I am Azuma-sensei; Head of Discipline. You boys are my first cases of the school year, well done." He said formerly with much indifference.

He turned to me and my face felt cold, I could feel myself paling in front of him "Careful miss Heartfilia, getting involved in trivial things like this might just get you into deeper trouble."

He snapped his fingers and the hand that was holding tightly on my arm was let go and left me almost falling to the floor, I stumbled but managed to stay on my feet. I rubbed my arm soothingly and remembered that my arm was still bruised from yesterday's handlings. My eyes lifted up from my arm to see the two boys being taken away outside the school building. I clicked my tongue in distaste, going to such extremities over a fight that didn't even happen. I was close to stopping it anyway.

Remembering the softening of Natsu's eyes reassured me he was going to back down. Natsu… Why did he do that in the first place? Was he itching for a fight or something? Why did he…

"Don't give up. We're in this together."

"We're in this together." I mumbled.

I didn't know what he meant at first but it's all clear now. These people who were called our teachers and our disciplinarians and even our own principal, they are here to do what they are paid to do. That's to torture us. And they ENJOY it. So if they are not looking out for us, then it's up to us to look out for another.

Class seemed like an eternity, it was so close to lunch I could almost hear my stomach yell across the room. 'Just one more period' I told myself.

As I sat at my desk my eyes immediately looked outside the window, fortunately enough my desk was right next to it. High on the second floor I could peer beyond the fences into the lush forest. Although something else caught my eye, I saw two figures and I squinted to concentrate. I rubbed my eye at the realisation of who the figures were.

In the midst of a hot summer's day, Natsu and Gajeel were being severely punished physically. Battered and bruised the boys were digging up trenches and filling them up again. The hard ground made every movement harder than the next and by the looks of it the boys have been working ever since Azuma-sensei took them in this morning.

I lost my appetite. How could I think of food when Natsu was out there suffering because he was looking out for me? I looked over to the two and they were heading towards the boys dorm, what a relief.

"Miss Heartfilia, unless you'd like to join the labour outside, I suggest you pay attention." The teacher, I think his name was Rustyrose-sensei.

My head snapped to the direction to the board with no hesitation and Rustyrose continued on with his class.

My mind didn't concentrate though. It just did a direct U-turn back to Natsu. I felt my cheeks warming up at the thought of him. The boy could really have bad issues with his pyromania, yet why does that make me more curious about him?

Trying to look like I was concentrating, the bell rang signalling lunch time. I almost sprinted to the cafeteria. All thoughts were diminished as my stomach overpowered my brain. Although my Stomach never had a nose and the smell of lunch was less than pleasing. I think it was meatloaf… I think. Sat at an empty table hoping I get Levy or Erza to sit by me… Or even Natsu.

I shook my head furiously. I huffed and shoved a piece of whatever in my mouth, I had confirmed it wasn't meatloaf.

"Gross, what is that?"

My body stiffened at the familiar voice. My head looked up to the pink haired boy that had been plaguing my mind since this morning. He was in a new clean uniform and probably had to shower after the manual work he did. My eyes darted to the scratches and bruises along his arms. I felt terrible.

"I'm so sorry Natsu." I said softly.

His happy smile, which seemed to be the first I've seen of his since I've met him, disappeared. I couldn't look him in the eyes, I would cry if I did. I felt the bench move and looked up to his face which was level to mine.

"Don't be. I honestly don't care what they do to me in here." He said.

He smiled again, I liked it. It was warm, joyful and natural. Like everything he had experienced this morning was nothing.

"If the best they can do is make me work then fine, I don't mind. Because in the end I protected my friend and that's all that matters."

"You hardly know me though. How am I your friend?"

I admit that sounded harsh, it wasn't my intention to make it sound like that. He kept smiling though; I couldn't bring myself to be mean to him with that goofy smile on his face.

"We both have something in common. We both deserve a better life."

The words never hit harder, I wanted to cry at that simple truth. I did deserve one. I craved for it.

"There are some other kids in here that deserve better lives too. I think we should befriend them and start a group." he suggested and interrupted my thoughts.

That wasn't a bad idea. The thought of having more people having your back would help. Although in a school like this you have to be wary.

Then it hit me "I know two people to start with." I said smiling at him.

"Yosh! We're in this together" he said cheerfully, almost making that line of his a motto.

I recited.

"We're in this together"

[shananaomi]

2016.

hi. i haven’t been around these parts much this year, but i couldn’t quite let this one go by. 

here’s last year’s.

[note to self at end of 2017: you deleted anything you didn’t feel up to answering, so maybe go find a complete version if you’re into that sort of thing now.]

What did you do in 2016 that you’d never done before?

Went to Paris, then drove around the French countryside in a tiny car, just as I’d imagined ever since seeing Bon Voyage, Charlie Brown, as a little kid. (Fewer haunted chateaus, more champagne.) Ran a 10k and only truly hated the last mile of it. Watched my wife run a marathon. Finally started reading Harry Potter, but only made it through 2.5 books before it...scared me too much to keep going. 

Did you keep your New Years’ resolutions and will you make more for next year?

Last year: I vowed to prioritize watching more TV shows by and about women, and largely stuck to this and its corollary “no more whiny white guys.”

Also, in answer to the question about what I wish I had done more of in 2015, I said (pre-Hamilton, I should add): I’m sure it means something that every year my answer to this is write. It means I’m never satisfied, right?

Today on Twitter I said: has there ever been a year my resolution was not "write more; complain less"?

Also, per @yayponies, we are going to #GetFitToFightFascism. 

Did anyone close to you give birth?

Several people we love now have more children! And several more are about to.

Did anyone close to you get married?

I...don’t think we went to any weddings this year, or missed any big ones.

Did anyone close to you die?

2016 was definitely the year for crying over people who felt so close it stabbed inside to know they were gone, from Bowie to those killed in Orlando to George Michael.

What countries did you visit?

France! It was beautiful and also intense, like more of a city than even New York but in less space and smaller streets. In many ways the general nervousness and militarization reminded me of New York City post-9/11. 

What would you like to have in 2017 that you lacked in 2016?

A sense of safety, both personal and global.

What was your biggest achievement of the year?

In order to avoid getting a spinal tap or going on a scary-sounding drug to reduce high pressure in my skull, I got a personal trainer, finally stopped eating anything and everything I wanted, and lost 30 pounds. Then I sort of plateaued, or in fitness-speak, maintained that weight successfully for the last 4 months while magically continuing to wear ever-smaller clothes. I’ve set a goal for at least 10 more pounds by the time I turn 40 in April, because that was a random thing I told myself a year ago I could try to do but sounded impossible at the time. 

But I also discovered that I fucking love hiking and even running outside and generally feeling stronger. And before 2016 totally and completely went to shit, I knew looking back that would be my biggest story of the year: I finally put real work into my body, and it was worth it.

What was your biggest failure?

Outside of the never-ending churn of work emails, I have become a terrible, almost entirely absent correspondent. I almost never reply to emails any more, and even text messages often go unanswered. I am so ashamed of this behavior I can barely type it out, honestly, and yet it is somehow the greatest tiny step to take in any free moment I find or set aside for specifically that purpose. 

If I have failed at some point or many to write you back, know it was certainly not because of anything you said, or didn’t.  

Did you suffer illness or injury?

I did something of a mid-year review on my birthday where I wrote about the medical mystery in my brain that dominated the end of 2015 and first half of this year. I’m very lucky; another few rounds of check-ups found my high pressure situation so reduced it was basically now undiagnosable. Also I avoided having a spinal tap, thank fucking god. My great USC Eye Institute doc left for another city but I have a follow-up in January with a guy who basically wrote the book on neuro-ophthalmology so we’ll see whether a true second opinion changes any of that. 

What was the best thing you bought?

It’s not that I don’t like working out with other people. Wait, yes it is. I survived a month of boot camp in 2015 out of sheer stubbornness but hated myself and my body more by the end of it than I’d ever thought possible. But in a one-on-one situation, it turns out I can just channel all that stubborn perfectionism into something meaningful. It was a massive investment, and one I plan to continue in 2017, but there is really no question to me that it was worth it.

Whose behavior merited celebration?

My wife. Did I mention she ran a goddamned marathon? In that and so, so many other ways, she is so much stronger than she thinks or believes and inspires me every day to keep going.

Where did most of your money go?

Trainer, rent, car payment, student loans. Mostly all those old familiar beasts. 

What song will always remind you of 2016?

“Youth,” Troye Sivan. Sitting by a pool in Palm Springs listening to him sing and writing about him and feeling pretty goddamned blessed. 

not a bad view to get serious on a deadline.

Compared to this time last year, are you:

i. happier or sadder? Sadder. There’s just no other way to say that. 

ii. thinner or fatter? Thinner!

iii. richer or poorer? We’re being more careful about money now than we have at times in the past, I’ll put it that way.

What do you wish you’d done more of?

Always: write. But I need to think a little more specifically about what that means for me right now. I run a major media outlet at which I could theoretically write almost anything, but almost never do. Part of what I most miss writing about is queerness and sexuality, but I am not totally sure what, if anything, I want to write for OUT. Should I write fiction? Should I be trying to write and report other, more politically focused pieces (either about entertainment in some way or not)? Should I do something with this TinyLetter I signed up for but have yet to use? Should I write more Tumblr posts? 

Oh yeah, and when am I going to do this? It’s not that I have no time, but I don’t have huge swaths of it either just sitting around waiting to be claimed. I can do this, if I really focus and prioritize. Having some kind of goal type thingie or vision here would obviously go a long way. 

What do you wish you’d done less of?

Crying.

How did you spend Christmas?

Writing George Michael’s obit. 

this is the ridiculous family photo we took on a street near my parents' new house - just before my phone buzzed with the news of George Michael's death. i'm just completely heartbroken. our first conversation, first date, first I love yous - all owe something big to our gay guardian angel, as we always called him. thank you George for being queer and angry and so, so, so beautifully talented. thank you.

What was your favorite TV program?

Save Pitch!

What was the best book you read?

Probably Julia Child’s memoirs, the perfect pre-France guide and also a reminder that a woman can find her way to a whole new life no matter her age. I also adored my old friend Tim Murphy’s novel Christodora. Highly recommended.

What was your greatest musical discovery of 2016?

This should fairly be answered Hamilton, since it took me a while to decide I was ready to jump in even if I wasn’t sure when I’d get to see it. I’m in. All in.

What did you want and get?

To spoil my wife silly on her 40th birthday, including a slightly early trip back to Paris in honor of our first conversation being about her trip there on her 30th. I am traditionally the distant second place present-giver in our relationship, but I think I adequately stepped it up this time.

What did you want and not get?

For our happiness to be as simple as finding the perfect present. A country I felt confident loved us back. My dog to feel as peaceful and calm and quiet as she does when she’s not in Los Angeles. For all the words and thoughts inside my brain to magically appear on a screen or the page without having to find the time or peace to make sense of them.

What was your favorite film of this year?

I did vow to do a better job of seeing films this year, especially big ones that I needed to consider how much work-time to devote coverage to, so maybe that’s why I feel like I have a surprisingly strong, solid list here to choose from. I don’t think I saw Spotlight until 2016, when I watched it back to back on a plane before All the President’s Men. (Don’t yell but: Spotlight was better.) I absolutely loved Arrival and Loving. I don’t plan to give into the weird backlash cynicism about La La Land, which I found delightful if not exactly epic.

Ultimately I think my answer here is that Moonlight and Hell or High Water touched my soul and heart and made me think the most. They are both, in distinctly different ways, about the deep, lasting curse of poverty. In Hell or High Water, Chris Pine’s character eventually offers this terse motivation for a deadly bank robbing spree he has undertaken with his brother: “I’ve been poor my whole life, like a disease passing from generation to generation. But not my boys, not anymore.”

For whatever reason, I’m thinking now about how some people have compared Moonlight to Brokeback Mountain. (I would have compared the latter to Loving, actually, in that they both turn very much on the passionate decisions of reticent white men acting on emotions they cannot figure out how to name.) I guess what people are saying is that Moonlight is also a groundbreaking film about sexuality, but to me what was always missed about Brokeback is that it was a film about a poor man’s sexuality. 

Moonlight very pointedly creates a new possible dialogue to model in conversations about being black and queer - when asked what a faggot is, Chiron is told, “‘Faggot’ is a word used to make gay people feel bad.” And it asks an even harder question: can sexuality and our expression of it ever be separated from the sheer human need to survive other, perhaps unrelated or perhaps more complicated and threatening circumstances of race and class?

I guess I had some things to say about movies this year. 

What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

I turned 39, and one of the only long form pieces I wrote this year actually covers that territory too! 

What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

Sigh. A Clinton presidency. That’s not one thing, it’s a million, but that’s the goddamned point, isn’t it?

How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2016?

Last year I said: I’m damned determined for 2016 to be the year of the lipstick.

And actually I did pretty well on that count. Also I bought some impressively ridiculous over-the-knee boots that I’ve worn almost every day since. 

What kept you sane?

Was I? I still feel pretty unhinged, honestly. My staff and colleagues were actually a consistent source of stability even when there were major changes in that world, too. (Part of CBS basically sold us to a different part of CBS.) 

But each and every day: my wife. This marriage is the best and most important thing I will ever do in my life, and whatever “work” it may be, it pays back in sustaining my existence a hundredfold. Coming soon, allegedly: a podcast and/or Insta live series with me and @yayponies called Marriage Is Hard. (No it’s not.)

Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

Oh hey, I finally got to introduce my wife to Chris Pine when we bumped into him at the reception after the Loving premiere/screening. (Sorry-not-sorry for the utter LAness of that sentence.) I kind of hate reintroducing myself to people I interviewed years before, but in this case: worth every moment of internal awkwardness. He has very strong feelings about cinematography, you guys. And projectionists. And cheesy grits.

What political issue stirred you the most?

I am sickened by the fact that young trans and gender-nonconforming folks are bearing the brunt of the right-wing’s latest scare and hate tactics. I am not scared for my marriage headed into a new administration; I am terrified for their lives. 

Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

America. All of us.

Who did you miss?

I miss...people. I miss Sunday potluck dinners like Ray and I threw in college, the kind that were just about people having a safe space but then really about organizing, but I’m still not sure how to create those in our lives right now in a way that doesn’t create more anxiety for us than it relieves. I’m putting this here in hopes some other folks might have an idea. Maybe I’ll even be bold enough to put it in its own post. 

Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2016.

"I’VE BEEN PLANNING WHILE YOU’RE PLAYING.” -- Jenny Holzer

We saw this at the Broad. Jessica did a better job of writing about it.

Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

Raise a glass to freedom Something they can never take away No matter what they tell you Raise a glass to the four of us Tomorrow there’ll be more of us

What is one photo that represents a moment you want to remember?

Here we are on an impossibly beautiful day in Paris after one of the best meals of my life, grinning like fools and taking photos that don’t even look real. 

even as we were taking this photo I knew it would look super fake. but it's not! I mean that palm tree was definitely brought in special but it was there when we went to pick up our bibs. oh yeah, we're running a 6k-but-probably-more-like-8k through the streets of Paris tomorrow along with about 35,000 other women. (and by running I mean trying not to fall too far behind the pack.) #laparisienne

[xiaoyuzhanglove-blog]

AX3002: Work situation of April

01/04-05/04

In April, my main task was to start making my three-minute animation and to write a report on five animation lectures. Here are five lectures that I will review. They are Jean-Denis Haas, Mariel Cartwright, Hjalti Hjalmarsson, Kevin Spruce and David M Pickett from the University of Chicago.  

1.0 Making Fluid and Powerful Animations For Skullgirls --- 26th January 2016

<https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mw0h9WmBlsw>

2.0 Kevin Spruce --- 14th March 2019 

3.0 The Illusion of Animation --- Hjalti Hjalmarsson 2018

<https://mixed.parts/post/the-illusion-of-animation-lecture/>

4.0 Spider-Verse --- Jean-Denis Haas 2019

<https://www.cartoonbrew.com/educational/an-animation-analysis-of-spider-verse-by-animator-jean-denis-haas-170700.html>

5.0 Cuphead's Animation Process and Philosophy --- Jake Clark 2017

<https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RmGb-jU3uVQ>

These are the five lectures I'm going to use to write my report.

08/04-12/04

AE and PS is the software that most use of my animation production needs. Before I started making, I searched for some tutorial on how to make animation with AE on the internet. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X3i3MtdmoEI

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QQgmXARn8aA

The main dynamic scenes in my animation are snail crawling and eagle flying. The crawling of snails is easier to make than the flying of eagles. I searched some videos about how eagles fly on the internet. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qc-qxvPJLxE

15/04-19/04

This week I officially started my three-minute animation. In the process of making animation with AE, it is difficult for me to make the characters move coherently. So I watched some tutorial on how to use AE to make coherent animation on YouTube.

https://lesterbanks.com/2016/04/dynamic-lens-animation-after-effects/

This is a video that teaches people how to use AE to make dynamic shots. And It is very helpful for me to make my three-minutes animation. 

Some of my work are as follows：

22/04-26/04

The main task of this week is to complete the report of these five lectures. 

Essay:

1.0 Introduction

During the study of this year, I watched a number of lectures related to animation on the Internet, as well as lectures from other creative professions in the industry, such as 3D animation production, animation illusion and the graphic style of movies. These lectures include lectures by famous university professors and speeches by animation producers. Speakers talked about how they got into the industry, their professional experience in the industry and they also gave some suggestions for us. Finally, they also told us how to get into the better industry of animation and what we could expect from ourselves in the future.

 In this essay, I have selected five speakers and I think their speeches has a great connection with my learning practice and also influence of my practice. My main design work is two-dimensional animation, and I am currently creating a three-minute animation for my third year project. Some of the speakers I selected for the lecture were engaged in stop motion and 3D animation. Although the theme of some lectures was not two-dimensional animation, I also think that their knowledge and experience could be linked with my practice and have an impact on my practice. The five speakers that I chose were Jean-Denis Haas, Mariel Cartwright, Hjalti Hjalmarsson, Kevin Spruce and David M Pickett from the University of Chicago.

 2.0 Five Lectures

 2.1 Making Fluid and Powerful Animations For Skullgirls --- 26th January 2016

 Skullgirls (See Figure 1) is a 2D fighting game developed by Reverge Labs and published by Marvelous and Autumn Games (FADOM, 2019). Mariel Cartwright is one of the artist of the Skullgirls. She grew up surrounded by animation and games, and she felt that it was a natural inclination for herself. From 2005 to 2009, she studied character animation at the California Institute of the Arts and earned a Bachelor of Arts degree. Mariel Cartwright has gave a speech at GDC Animation Boot-camp and explained how Skullgirls was made. This speech also covered the importance of strong key frames and expectations.

 First of all, she talked about some animation principles which included silhouette, anticipation, follow-through and smears. In her talk, animators who have clear silhouette in their keys is the basis of making strong animation. Anticipation was also incredible important, animators need to give the move contrast to characters to make it looks more powerful. Furthermore, use follow-through effectively could help us fill in the gaps where we may not have time for inbetweens. The last important principle was to use smears. Smears also could help us to fill in the gaps when we need to have a huge motion. Through her speech I learned that I need to know clearly that what I am making, which means I need to find the starting point of my work, and I also need to communicate with people who work with me to get some ideas of what they needs. In addition, I also learned that I need to focus on my keys and use the principles, such as follow-through to fill the gaps of my animation.

 2.2 Kevin Spruce --- 14th March 2019

 Kevin Spruce (See Figure 2) is known for his work on Guardians of the Galaxy (2014), Doom (2005) and Lost in Space (1998). Kevin Spruce has won three nominations, and two of them were the Guardians of the Galaxy. Guardians of the Galaxy is a 2014 American superhero film based on the Marvel Comics superhero team of the same name, produced by Marvel Studios and distributed by Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures. It is the tenth film in the Marvel Cinematic Universe (IMDB, 2017). And Kevin Spruce mainly works in animation department and visual effects group.

 In his speech, he mainly told us about the animation work of the Guardians of the Galaxy and showed us many interesting works that he did in the Guardians of the Galaxy, especially the work of make the role of the Rocket Raccoon. The design of the rocket raccoon is inspired by the real raccoon on the earth, and in the movie, the rocket raccoon needs to stand and walk like a human and perform something that a real raccoon could not do. Therefore, Kevin Spruce said they really designed some different styles for this animal. "We need to find inspiration from our real life and use it to learn how to make your animation (Spruce,2019) ." Kevin Spruce said in his speech. I was quite agree with him because no matter how amazing or unrealistic creatures that we created, it is all based on some real creatures on the earth.

 In addition, Kevin Spruce also showed us their original test video about how to make these animal characters walk more naturally. Because there has a scene of snail crawling in my three-minute animation, it reminded me that I need to have a video test of this scene of my animation. Furthermore, I learned that I need to be more realistic about the role design of the eagle for my three-minute animation. For example, the design of the eagle as a particularly cute cartoon image is not suitable for my animation, because in real life the eagle is a very powerful creature, so I need to design it more powerful and stronger in my animation.

 2.3 The Illusion of Animation --- Hjalti Hjalmarsson 2018

 Hjalti Hjalmarsson (See Figure 3) is known for his work on Agent 327: Operation Barbershop (2017), The Daily Dweebs (2017) and Caminandes: Llamigos (2016). He also has loads of industry experience working on numerous TV commercials in Iceland. The main theme of his speech was animation illusion, and he has showed some of his amazing works in his speech, such as adding faces to things without faces. He also talked about some principles of animation illusion. The first principle of animation illusion is squash and stretch. Hjalti Hjalmarsson has mentioned that the purpose of squash and stretch is to give a sense of weight and flexibility to drawn objects. In my three-minute animation, the role of the eagle needs to apply this principle, because the eagle will show different perspectives in the process of flying. The second principle that he has mentioned was staging. This principle is similar to stage performance in theatre and movies. The purpose is to guide the attention of audience and make it clear what is most important in a scene. This principle is a very helpful part for my animation, which could help me to deal with the relationship between my animated characters and animated scenes. And he also explained the painting style from realism to abstract. I founded that my animation style is more realistic, because the content of my animation is very concise and easy to understand, and the characters in my animation could also be clearly to identify.

  2.4 Spider-Verse --- Jean-Denis Haas 2019

Jean-Denis Haas, a senior lead animator at Industrial Light & Magic as well as an instructor at Animation Mentor (IMBD, 2018). The main areas of his speech are the interaction of the characters with props and clothing and the framing action of Spider-Verse (See Figure 5), which was a 2018 American computer-animated superhero film based on the Marvel Comics character Miles Morales / Spider-Man, produced by Columbia Pictures and Sony Pictures Animation in association with Marvel, and distributed by Sony Pictures Releasing. Haas has mentioned that props and clothing were not just cg elements placed into scenes and onto characters, but they also play a role in the storytelling in Spider-Verse. And one of the scenario is how Miles take off his backpack or puts his hands on his hoodie is a concrete creative decision that adds a layer of complexity and nuance to his performance and helps create a sense of life in the world. In my animation design, there were also has some details that need to be connected through the whole animation, such as the change of seasons. Another area that Haas has mentioned was the framing action of Spider-Verse. "One of the old-fashioned holdovers from the classic days of animation is that all acting needs to be clearly staged and visible to the audience. But that is not how the real world works though and it is not how acting works." Haas said. The Spider-Verse filmmakers understood this and attempted to create a more cinematic approach to framing and staging where not every gesture and movement is played to the audience. This could help me realize that I did not need to give too much detail in my animation to explain how snails crawl from one place to another.

 2.5 Cuphead's Animation Process and Philosophy --- Jake Clark 2017

 Cuphead (See Figure 6) is a run and gun indie video game developed and published by Studio MDHR. Jake Clark is the animator, designer and concept artist of Cuphead  and he attended to the 2017 GDC bootcamp to give a speech. Jake Clark has explained his design and animation processes for the game Cuphead, and shares practical ideas and tips for 2D animation in the speech. First of all, the style of Cuphead looks like a 1930s cartoon, because of the people who grew up playing those kind of games and watch those kind of cartoon in their childhood. Jake Clark has animated the Cuphead and link it on paper traditionally and the backgrounds are traditional watercolour paintings. From this I have learned that before I make an animation in the future, I need to have a deep understanding of the characters or backgrounds of these characters, which was also a part of my lack of my learning practice. Additionally, he also shared some of his experiences in creating these roles in Cuphead. For example, referencing all the different shapes that others used to use in the their characters such as the different way they drew hands, the different way that drew eyes. During my three-minute animation process, I referenced some of the online resources to help me completed my role design, and I also think referencing is a good way to help us make 2D animation.

3.0 Conclusion

In conclusion, I have learned some important principles and methods that affect my work, as well as the way of thinking when I work in these lectures. I think the most important thing I learned from these lectures is that before I making the animation, I need to seriously think about what kind of characters I need to create, and carefully analyze the relationship between each character and each scene. And in the process of the role design, I need to investigate some material related to the roles and use it as a reference. In addition, I also need to consider whether the animation I make is realistic and whether it will be loved by the audience. Therefore, I define the theme of my animation as “dream”, because in the real life everyone will keep working for achieve their dreams. Although there will have some difficulties in the pursuit of dreams, as long as we persist, everyone could realize their dreams in the future. I really enjoyed the lectures that I attended in the university and the lectures on the Internet. I learned a lot from those animated speakers. I will continue to apply these knowledge and methods to my future creation, and will continue to absorb new knowledge to help me develop better in the future.

4.0 Bibliography

Lectures:

14th March 2019

Kevin, S (2019). Uclan Lecture.

 Videos:

Hjalti, H. 2018, The Illusion of Animation, Accessed 4 April 2019,

Available at: <https://mixed.parts/post/the-illusion-of-animation-lecture/>

��Jake, C. 2017, Cuphead's Animation Process and Philosophy, Accessed 4 April 2019,

Available at: <https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RmGb-jU3uVQ>

 Jean-Denis, H. 2019, An Animation Analysis Of ‘Spider-Verse’, Accessed 5 April 2019, Available at:

<https://www.cartoonbrew.com/educational/an-animation-analysis-of-spider-verse-by-animator-jean-denis-haas-170700.html>

 Mariel, C. 2014, Making Fluid and Powerful Animations For Skullgirls, Accessed 5 April 2019,

Available at: <https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mw0h9WmBlsw>

 Images:

Figure 1: FANDOM, Skullgirls Wiki,

Available at: <https://skullgirls.fandom.com/wiki/Skullgirls_Wiki>

 Figure 2: Kevin, S. 2019, Uclan Lecture

 Figure 3: Hjalti, H. 2018, The Illusion of Animation,

Available at: <https://mixed.parts/post/the-illusion-of-animation-lecture/>

 Figure 4: Jean-Denis, H. 2019, An Animation Analysis Of ‘Spider-Verse’,

Available at:

<https://www.cartoonbrew.com/educational/an-animation-analysis-of-spider-verse-by-animator-jean-denis-haas-170700.html>

 Figure 5: BBC, 2019, Spider-Man: What fans want to see in Marvel's eight-year plan,

Available at: <https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/newsbeat-47555036>

 Figure 6: Jake, C. 2017, Cuphead's Animation Process and Philosophy,

Available at: <https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RmGb-jU3uVQ>