#in the same vein of thought i have distanced myself from people who just spend too much time complaining

[buckyownsmylife]

woman’s world - chris evans smut

The one where Chris pisses you off during a panel, but then finds a way to apologize

Warnings: age gap, famous!reader, oblivious Chris, smut, unprotected sex

Chris’ P.O.V.

The panel had gone well, or as well as it could go when everyone was trying to push the idea of Y/N and I together. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to pursue something with her - quite the opposite in fact. I was completely infatuated with the young actress, but the problem was just that: she was young. Too young for me, probably. So it was becoming harder and harder to deal with everyone commenting on how great we would be together when it was already all I could think about, and there was nothing I could do to make it come true without looking like an absolute predator.

Still, there was no denying that my favorite part about this particular press tour had been getting to spend time with her. She was just the perfect company, especially in a situation like this, which frankly could easily become tiresome and irritating. She just had this way of being able to read me and know what I needed, so she’d easily take over when she noticed an interviewer was getting on my nerves or overstepping some boundaries. 

She was quickly becoming my favorite person, but unfortunately, the rest of our cast had noticed as much. And so that meant that for the last day or so, I’d forced myself to pull away from her, deliberately sitting as far away as possible and not even glancing her way whenever there was a camera around. I even managed to have a quick reaction when the panel moderator joked about us being the perfect couple, and I was proud of how my cry of “She’s a kid, for God’s sake!” had made everyone laugh, even my friends who had been keen on insisting I should ask her out. 

So needless to say, I was in a good mood. Such a great mood, in fact, that I’d decided to ask Y/N to come back to my room so we could grab a beer and watch some movies. Asking around for where she had gone, someone pointed in the direction I thought I’d seen her head to, and after a couple of seconds, I managed to see her in the middle of the sea of people. Then it was just a matter of smoothly dodging everyone trying to lure me into pointless conversations and then she was already within ear reach. 

Or so I thought, at least. I tried calling her name countless times, but she didn’t look back once. In fact, she even quickened her step, and soon enough I had to physically run so I could follow her into the elevator that could take us to the floor where we were staying. 

I didn’t think too much of it, considering she probably thought I was someone else and was doing the same as I was: trying to dodge anyone who wanted to make us stay a bit longer on the crowded floor where the convention was taking place. But then we were inside the elevator and she didn’t even turn to look me in the eye. 

More importantly, when I reached out to rub my thumb on her wrist, to signal that I wanted to hold her hand, the response I got was a harsh, “Is this your way of subtly hinting that you want to hold my hand? Because it’s quite cute, but I’m not in the mood for that at all.”

The attitude caught me by surprise in such a way that I was only able to snap out of it once the elevator’s doors opened, but before I could ask what the fuck was going on, she had ran out of it, walking towards her room with determination.

Oh no, she wouldn’t. There was no way I was letting her hide in her room, angry at me, when I didn’t even know what I’d done wrong. I sprung into action, running after her and managing to hold the door just before she was able to slam it in my face.

“What’s going on?” I cried out, pushing my way inside the room as she just stared up at me with hurt eyes and a pout on her lips. “What did I do?” Y/N huffed, rolling her eyes and crossing her arms while looking away from me, before I managed to pull her closer by her wrists when I pried her arms open again. “Talk to me, c’mon.”

She glanced at me with furrowed brows, quickly averting her eyes before looking back again with an unamused expression. “You’re really gonna act like you don’t know.” Anxiety coursed through my veins at a scary pace. It was clear that I’d hurt her, but I had no idea how!

“I really don’t know!” I cried out, begging her to answer me, so I could make this better. I couldn’t bear the thought of offending her, of possibly losing her… and her friendship. Since that was all I could get from her, I was gonna fight with everything to keep it. “Please, let me make it up to you.”

For a second, it seemed like she would relent. But when her eyes met mine again, it was clear that whatever she saw on mine reminded her of the reason that she was mad, because just when I started to smile, she caught a second wind, pulling her hands from me and turning her back. 

“I don’t know why you’re so adamant about making me feel better. I thought I was just a kid to you.” And then, suddenly, it made sense. Flashes of what had happened not even an hour earlier played in my head, this time her face being the focus of it all. Perhaps it wasn’t perceptible for everyone else that her smile faltered when I shouted that idiotic thing, but to me it was.

To me it was, and still, back then, I didn’t see it. I chose not to see it, because I was so scared to deal with the truth. Instead, I ended up hurting her. And that was literally the last thing that I wanted. 

“I-I’m sorry,” I immediately offered, raising a hand to scratch the back of my neck. “I just… I didn’t want them to start creating any narratives about us two together, you know? I mean… You know how they can get. And I can’t be… We can’t be... associated… like that.”

I knew I had screwed up even before it became clear that she wouldn’t answer. Despite how cautiously I’d tried to phrase it, it ended up sounding weird even to my own ears. And when she didn’t turn around to look me in the eye again, I didn’t know what else to do. I felt myself deflating, my heart beating desperately against my chest, terrified of losing her simply for being my stupid self.

“C’mon… You know what I mean,” I breathed out, trying to approach her and resting a hand on one of her shoulders, but she simply shook it off. “C’mon, Y/N, don’t be like that.” I made myself flinch with just how poorly I was handling that situation.

Y/N’s P.O.V.

I didn’t know what to do or say. Don’t be like what? “Like a child?” I asked, my tone icy enough to layer the tension in the room with one more level of awkwardness, and I didn’t need to see Chris to know that he was a mixture of nervous and confused, at the very least.

I knew it because I was, too. I was completely thrown off by my own behaviour, as weirdly as that sounded. I didn’t know why I was so defensive, except that I did. I did know it, I just didn’t want to admit. 

“Well, this child wants to be left alone. I’ll talk to you later, Chris.” And I stormed off into the bathroom, only stopping to take a breath when I was sure the door was locked behind me. I needed to put some distance between myself and him, otherwise I was gonna lose it - even worse than I already did. 

But it was too late to keep on ignoring my feelings. I was forced to deal with the reality of them, at least with myself, since I knew - especially after today - that there was no way I would ever get to reveal to Chris that I’d fallen for him.

To him, I was just a kid, and that’s all I would forever be.

Weirdly, I didn’t feel like crying as I took off my clothes and stepped into the shower, decided to wash away all of the bad feelings that this day had brought me. I just felt… disappointed, like a kid who’s been dreaming about a Christmas present only to find out they’ve been given socks. I’d been hopelessly trying to ignore my feelings for Chris, but at least a small part of me still fed into the ridiculous idea that he could possibly reciprocate those sentiments.

Now that it was obvious it would never be the case, it was like a small part of me had died on that stage.

By the time I got out of the shower, some twenty minutes later, I decided to put on a loose shirt I had kept around from some ex and take a nap until it was time to be social again. Certainly my friends would want to hit the bars or at least grab some dinner, and it would provide me with the perfect occasion to apologize to Chris.

Yes, that was perfect. That would get me a few more hours where I could manage to fabricate some resemblance of control before I had to see him. And then it would all go back to the way it was: me, pretending I don’t have a crush, while he kept seeing me as a kid.

I was so lost in my own thoughts that I didn’t even notice the massive body hidden beneath the covers in my bed until I went to uncover it so I could slide in.

“What the hell are you doing here? Get out of my bed,” I chastised, but Chris only gave me those annoyingly effective puppy eyes that had me groaning. “No. You don’t get to do this. I’m still mad at you, go to your room and we’ll talk about it later, but for now, just let me wallow in peace.”

But still, he didn’t let up. I tried to climb on the bed, but he was now smack down on the middle of it, still pouting with those perfect full lips of his. 

“Get. out. of. the. Bed.”

“Not until you tell me what I can do for you to forgive me. C’mon, baby girl, just let me make it up to you.” When I didn’t answer, making sure to avoid his eyes, he simply reached out and grabbed me by my hips, forcing me to sit on his lap. “Please?” He quietly begged, one hand cradling my face while the other maintained its grip on my hip. 

The movement had caught me by surprise, and my mouth fell open as I realized that because the shirt had ridden up, I was sat panties glued to Chris’ jeans. And if that wasn’t enough to throw me into a ridiculously horny state, the fact that I could feel just how hard he was certainly did.

“C’mon, sweetheart. Don’t be shy,” he pressed, and my eyes snapped up to meet his, finding a hazy lust that reflected mine and a very, very naugthty smirk that didn’t help my current about-to-get messy situation. “Tell me how I can make it up to you.”

I could hear my heartbeat in my ears as I took a sharp inhale, thinking about what I was about to say. Could I really do this? Should we even do this? I still wasn’t completely sure about what the hell had happened, but one thing I was certain of, and that was that I really wanted him to, “Kiss me.”

For all the reservation I expected Chris to have about this, he didn’t hesitate a single second before pulling me to meet his lips, and it was everything I thought kissing him would be like. His lips were soft and as patient as he seemed to try to be, there was an undeniable edge of neediness in the way his tongue swiped my bottom lip, begging me for entrance.

“You’re not gonna let me in, honey?” He whispered against my lips, warm breath making me shiver in his arms before I was able to gather my thoughts.

“I don’t think you deserve it.” I shrugged, but by Chris’ teasing smile, I knew I had just given him exactly what he wanted. In a quick move, he had me sprawled on the bed underneath him, while he hovered over me with dark eyes that I never thought I’d get to see outside of my dreams.

“Let me show you why you’re wrong.”

Chris’ P.O.V.

I started by rubbing the outside of her thighs until she opened her legs enough for me to settle in the space between them. I paid close attention to the way her breath hitched even with the softest of touches, incapable of stopping the grin that made its way into my face.

“Fuck, you’re so fucking sensitive, baby.” She whined as I lowered myself to replace my fingers with my lips, slowly making out with the delicate skin of her inner thighs. “You see? This is why I was scared to reveal my feelings for you. It’d be so easy to ruin you.”

By the way she bit on her lower lip, I knew I had reached my goal of making her even more bothered with what I had said, and slowly, I ran my hands up her legs and grabbed her hips to pull her further down, closer to my mouth. I ran my tongue over her lower lip, just barely gathering the excess moisture, and despite how clearly affected she was, Y/N managed to grab my hair and whisper, “I think you’re full of it, Evans.” It made me smirk, but before I could even offer a comeback, she just continued, “But even if you’re right… I’d like nothing more than to be ruined by you and only you.”

A sharp inhale later and a competition of stares, I pounced on her, devouring her little pussy like I’d wish to do so many fucking times before. She was sweet, but her moans were even sweeter, and the combination of sounds and taste and smell only served to intoxicate me, make me even more thrilled about finally having this gorgeous woman underneath me.

As her juices dripped from my jaw on the bed, she kept caressing my head, keeping me closely connected to her like I would ever dream of stepping away from this moment. I wanted to stay right here forever, away from people’s judgements and the overwhelming fear that she would think this was a mistake after it was over.

And right here, as my nose brushed her clit as I plunged my tongue as far as it could go inside her hole, she came right before my eyes, her honey dripping onto my tongue as I came up to toy with her clit before at last parting with her taste.

“You’re so fucking sweet,” I pointed out, stealing her lips with mine so I could share her taste with her, so she’d know I was right. “You’re sweet all over. Shit, I really want to fuck you.” My voice became nothing but a whisper, and soon her hands were cradling my face, thumb playing with my bottom lip before I sucked it. It was true. I craved to feel her from the inside, know what it was like to possess her in that way, too.

“Then fulfill both of our wishes. I really want to be fucked by you.”

Godfuckingdamn. This girl was just perfect. I knew right then, I’d made the right choice by deciding to stick around. When she appeared wearing nothing but that shirt, I forgot all of the reasons that were holding me back from simply taking her, and even now, they didn’t seem all that important anymore.

Y/N’s P.O.V.

“Your wish is my command.” I heard the words and braced myself to finally feel his cock inside of me, but still, the second that its head managed to fit, a long, drawn-out moan revealed just how impossible it was for me to restrain myself as Chris stretched me open around his member.

“Fuck!” Chris shouted, and it surprised me so much that it made my eyes widen as I stared up at him, hands still holding tightly on his muscular shoulders. “Sorry! Sorry.” He repeated as he bottomed out, forehead resting against mine as he seemed to catch his breath. “I just… I imagined your moans, but hearing them is a completely different thing altogether.”

The sentence had butterflies flying in my stomach and the reality of the situation suddenly hit me. I was lying in bed completely naked with a still fully clothed Chris Evans on top of me, and his cock was filling me in ways I’d never been filled before while he kept releasing these breathy little moans that had my heart skipping a beat every damn time my mind registered them.

“Good to know I’m not the only one who has been dreaming about this,” I settled for whispering in his ear before sucking on his earlobe, and a shiver passed through his body, making me giggle.

“Yeah,” he whispered, leaning down to kiss me quickly before deciding to do it again. “But I’m even more glad that this is actually happening right now.” What could I add to this? I didn’t think there were any combination of words possible. So I resigned myself to feel it, memorize every single thing about this moment when Chris started to pull out only to push back in again. “Let me take care of you,” he whispered, and in that moment, I’d let him do anything to me, just as long as he kept fucking me like this.

His thrusts felt like waves washing over the shore, bringing the tide of desire higher and higher and I could feel it reaching the point where it all changed, the point where my life would turn upside down because I would know what it felt like to cum around Chris’ cock, and the anticipation was enough to have me writhing on the unmade sheets of the hotel bed.

“Shit,” Chris chuckled, and I opened my eyes to find him staring at me with a soft look on his. “You’re unbelievable, sweetheart.” I could see the desire in his darkened pupils. I was sure it mirrored my own. “So beautiful, and you take my cock so well.”

Hearing him talk dirty was everything I’d always wished for, and I could feel myself getting even wetter around him, whines and whimpers escaping my chest as I held him closer to me.

“Fuck, I really wanna buy you a collar with my name on it. Make sure everyone knows I own you now.” The words, paired with the warmth of his breath had me clenching around him, and I fucking melted when I heard him meanly chuckle at my state - the state that he had caused me. “You want it too, huh?”

I really, really did. I’d never been one for external marks of possession, but something about this, about Chris and I, really had me going crazy for his proposal. Maybe because a part of me thought he would never want to admit this had ever happened. I thought he would try to deny it, and so to hear him wishing to boast about it… It really had me going crazy under him.

“Say it.” His voice cut through the haze, making me realize I was actually about to cum again. It took me a while to understand what it wanted, just enough to have him ordering again, in a tone of voice that made every single part of me tingle, “Say you want everyone to know that you’re mine.”

“I do. I want everyone to know I’m yours and only yours, Christopher.” I don’t know if it was the desperation in my tone, my use of his full name or the fact that I came again, but that finally had him losing the control of his movements, quickly pulling out of me and jerking himself off until his cum was painted all over my stomach.

For a second, it was only our labored breaths in the bedroom, staring at each other like we couldn’t believe this had really happened. “Still think I’m a kid?” I had to laugh, biting my lower lip while trying not to show that I actually was really nervous about his reaction now that we were done. But his eyes softened, a quick kiss deposited on my lips before he cradled me in his arms, cum and all, and answered, “You’ll always be my little girl. I just want to do some very adult stuff to you.”

[sweetleaf-cafe]

"Hello hello! I would like to request Louis Amamiya and Default!Male Protagonist (seperate) Mocha biscuits please! <Relationship headcanons please with a human s/o who dearly loves them and had even asked them to drink their blood from their neck at one point if they need it? Many thanks~"

Hi-hi~! Sorry, we don't write for Default!Male Protagonist, as we lack the information to really feel comfortable writing for him. As for writing for Louis, thank you so much for requesting for our best boi!!! He deserves all the love and headpats in the world.

Your mocha and biscuits for Louis Amamiya from Code Vein are served!

Louis Relationship Headcanons

First off, he's going to feel like he doesn't deserve someone as wonderful as you in his life.

But you won't let him get away with saying that and always remind him of all the reasons why you don't care about the notion of whether he "deserves" you or not and love him anyway.

Each time you do, he'll get a tiny bit flustered and shy, and he'll get a warm feeling in his heart.

But at the same time, a pang of worry and guilt will continue to rest in his mind.

Given time, however, he can feel those feelings fade, just a bit.

Louis won't see you as below him, despite you being a human.

Still, he will worry for you, as humans don't have the physical capabilities that a revenant holds.

You'll be able to notice it in his hesitance to bring you along on missions, and when you do, he'll keep a closer eye on you.

If you do prove to be a great fighter or thinker anyway, he'll be a little less cautious.

Still, it won't be able to leave Louis' mind that if something happens and you get severely injured or die, you won't be able to come back.

And if you aren't a fighter, he'll be extremely hesitant to bring you into any potentially dangerous situation.

Louis will also not want to act too overprotective or make you feel like he's controlling you.

So unless you try or want to do something that could end up being really dangerous, he'll only strongly advise caution.

He's afraid of losing you, he's afraid of losing his memories of you.

But each time, you always remind him that you'll stay with him as long as you can and that if he does forget, you'll still be there for him.

When you're back at the base, he'll often be working on something, but will always try to take some time to spend with you.

Sometimes, these moments are just talking about whatever comes to mind.

These conversations can be anything from small bits of chatter to excited rambling over a book.

And the way his eyes light up when he starts talking about a favorite book is literally the most precious thing in the universe and must be protected.

Normally, he's quite calm and speaks in that manner.

But when he's excited over something you can hear it in his voice, he'll speak just a tiny bit faster, Louis will have this adorable smile.

AHHH I THINK I JUST TURNED MYSELF INTO A SIMP.

But oftentimes, they'll be rather quiet.

He'll hold or close, sometimes just thinking or even reading a beloved book.

Either way, Louis will cherish any time he gets to spend with you.

When he's around you, everyone nearby can sense the companionship between you both.

He'll always be just a bit softer and gentler with you.

Of course, everyone is going to bring it up, just to tease him. And boy does he get flustered easily...

At first, when Yakumo mentions how he looks happy when you're around, he'll try to brush it off.

But Yakumo can and will leave him a blushing mess.

And if you're nearby and are easy to tease, he'll leave you both incredibly embarrassed.

It really doesn't matter if you're in a relationship or not, Louis will get flustered if people bring up both your... romantic intentions.

Still, he's just adorable when he's flustered, so you don't particularly mind.

If you ever ask him to drink your blood, he'll refuse.

Louis doesn't want to hurt you, moreover, the taste itself is different, addictive.

He doesn't want to risk it if he doesn't have to.

Either way, he really does appreciate the sentiment, and will always let you know how much he does.

If there is a time where he risks joining the lost without your blood or if you tell him you would really like him to, he'll hesitantly drink from you.

But only if you are completely okay with it.

He'll pull you in close to him, more carefully than usual.

The moment that he senses any nervousness, pain, or anything like that, he'll pull away.

He'll be rambling out apologies as he puts an awkward distance between the two of you.

If you don't calm him down, he'll speed walk off as fast as he can without outright running and will probably avoid you for the next few hours.

And of course, Yakumo is going to be groaning in the background.

If you happen to be in a dangerous location, he'll stay close to you, but you can practically hear the gears turning frantically in his head.

If it goes off without a hitch, he'll pay close attention to not drain too much blood from you.

The entire time, you'll be able to feel how tense he is against you, as he's afraid of losing control.

A.K.A. he's afraid of losing you or scaring you away.

Once he's finished, as long as you're in a safe environment, he'll likely want to stay in the same position.

He'll be rather quiet, mulling over what just happened.

Once he's snapped out of it, he'll go to find bandages as well as supplies to make sure it doesn't get infected.

He'll ask to take care of the wound himself, as he was the one who inflicted it.

As Louis does so, he'll thank you for doing that for him.

The first time, afterward, he'll be a little more cautious around you and will be mentally checking in on your wellbeing, making sure there were no aftereffects.

And he won't ever ask you to do so again, but secretly, he really enjoyed the feeling of being so close and doing something so intimate with you.

When it comes to affection, you can really see it in the way he looks out for you.

If he sees something that reminds him of you or knows you'd be interested in, he'd be sure to tell you about it or give it to you.

Each time, you'd find him searching your reactions, looking to see what sorts of things interested you more than others.

Half the time, he wouldn't really do this consciously, even after you start dating.

But either way, he'd be doing it anyway.

And another thing he'll do after you're in a relationship is to generally be touching you in some way.

It makes him feel close to you and reminds him that you're there.

Often, he'll sit closer to you, or even let you use him as a pillow.

Did I mention he's the absolute best pillow one could ask for?

He might be reading something aloud to you, talking, or just thinking and you end up falling asleep on him.

It'll take him a moment to notice, as he's probably wrapped up in what he's doing.

But when he does, his heart is going to melt.

How?!?! How are you so adorable?!?!?

The entire time, he'll be careful not to move, and would definitely sneak a few glances at your sleeping face.

He literally can't help himself.

Louis will also gently stroke your hair.

No matter what it's like, he loves it, and it really calming for him. If he needs to wake you up, it'll be gentle.

He'll probably lightly shake your shoulder and softly call your name a few times.

If you're a deep sleeper, then he'll progressively get more forceful until you're awake.

And if he falls asleep on you, it's probably because he's managed to overwork himself again, and needs the sleep.

As much as he mothers over everyone else, he'll often find himself neglecting his own needs.

So he'll need you to remind him to actually take care of himself.

If you do, then he'll be eternally grateful.

Still, if he does fall asleep on you, he'll actually be pretty quiet.

He might snore ever so slightly and it's actually pretty cute when he does.

Louis also likely gets nightmares.

When he's in a nightmare, he'll thrash around or cry out names in his sleep.

And at worst, he'll cry.

At this point, it is best to wake him up.

Once he's awake, he would thank you and would likely delve back into dark thoughts.

He'll probably either want some space or would be extra clingy.

It really depends on the dream, so it can go either way.

Overall, he's best boi and best bf, 20/10 would recommend.

Literally, who gave him the right to be so precious?!

[heartless-symphony]

Word of love

Just an other one shot to make myself feel better 

MASTERLIST

~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~ ~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~

Word of love

Ship : Spencer Reid x Reader

Type : Fluff

Warning : mention of a case, blood, kidnapping, curse word, gunshots

~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~ ~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~

1- JJ

When you had met Spencer, you immediately figured him out. The way he was holding himself, the constant fidgeting, you could tell he was a shy person. At least, he was toward you. Of course, you had only just joined the team a few months ago, so he didn’t know you that much. But it was easy to say that there was something off about him, the way he never met your eyes, never had those full-on rants you so often overheard. You weren’t close, because of that. He didn’t really let you get close to him, to be fair, no matter how hard you tried. So you gave up, deciding that if it was meant to be, it would just take time and you shouldn’t rush it. 

That’s why, the first time it actually hit you in the face, you were surprised. You hadn’t let yourself get too attached –or so you thought. You had tried to put up a wall between the both of you, just like he had done. But as you were all in the emergency room, surrounding JJ’s bed, and as you heard him whisper a soft ‘I love you’ to his best friend, it hit you really, really hard. You realized a few things, all at once. First, it was the first time he actually showed a hint of emotions in front of you, and you shouldn’t have found it as adorable as you did. Second, you should not have felt jealous of JJ at this minute. Yes, a very adorable, cute, smart FBI agent had just told her he loved her –in a friendly way, you needed to remind yourself- but he said it because she was in actual danger. She had been shot during a case and so you were all here, hoping for her to get better. There was nothing –nothing- to be jealous of. Finally, what really hit you was the way you couldn't stop looking at him, wanting to take his hand, tell him everything will be okay and his friend would be fine. You wanted to be close to him. Which, considering how much distance you both tried to put between you, was weird. Unpleasant. 

When it hit you, you looked away. You shook it off. You didn’t allow yourself to feel anything. You couldn’t. You weren’t allowed to fall for him. 

 2- Motherly love

The second time it happened, you –almost- saw it coming. You were all in Vegas, and you were about to go home after a very tiring case. Spencer, of course, went to see his mom, and Emily had decided to pick him up from there right before leaving, and you just ended up in the car with her as you were driving to the airport. You made your way to the parking lot of the facility, before jumping out of the car. Emily waited for you as you walked to the door, going to get the genius. When you saw him, he was hugging his mom tightly, like it would be the last time. He was resting his head against hers, and you heard him whisper a sweet ‘I love you’, before letting go of her. She smiled sadly, in that way mothers do, and gently patted his cheeks. Blushing a bit, he turned to face you. He looked even redder and you smiled softly. You had always admired the way he was treating his mother, doing his best. You knew it wasn’t easy with the job and it was even worse for him. He had so much love for his mother that it made you feel happy, for her, for him, for the both of them. No matter the hard times they had to go through, they survived and were stronger every day. You admired that in them, their way to take their pain and turn it into love. 

When Spencer arrived at your level, his cheeks had gone back to a normal color, but he still had a slightly ashamed look, like he hadn’t wanted you to see him so vulnerable. But you couldn’t care less and you made it very clear, opening the door without a word and walking back to the car. Before taking his seat, he sent you a shy smile and you couldn’t help but look down to hide your own. Letting your guard down was probably the right thing to do, because some people deserved the pain. Because even if it turned badly, you could grow from it. So why keep your heart away from such a compassionate boy? 

 3- Love you all

It was his birthday, and you hadn’t gotten him anything. Well, not really at least. JJ had hoped for one single gift where everyone would participate, and you had jumped on the occasion. That way you were sure he would get something he liked, without you having to worry about anything at all –like him hating your gift. So, you didn’t know what JJ had gotten and when she got in the bullpen with nothing but a simple envelope, you couldn’t help but worry. Maybe she had changed her mind, or maybe it was something stupid. You had thoughts about buying him books, something like that, but not a letter. You were freaking out, silently, sitting at your desk, watching her make her way to spencer. She handed him the envelope and smiled, and you got up, just like the others, to surround the boy as to watch his reaction. You were further away, as usual. You may like him, but you knew he wasn’t feeling the same and he was still very, very cold with you. 

You almost didn’t see him open the letter, but you very soon recognized the two tickets in his hands as he took them out. The vintage-looking picture, the handwriting. 

‘Tickets for the ‘Letters through ages’ exposition?’ 

The team didn’t know who to look at. You had both screamed at the same time, interest cursing through your veins. You had jumped from the desk you were sitting on, rushing to Spencer’s side in complete awe of the tickets. Those kinds of tickets were rare and hard to get, only a handful of people had gotten the chance to see this exposition of vintage letters coming from all over the world, and you had dreamed of going there ever since you heard about it. Apparently, Spencer felt the same because his eyes were shining so brightly with happiness, you were almost jealous. Almost. You were too happy for him. What made your heart break a bit, though, was the second ticket. You knew more than anyone else that no one in the team –except the both of you- were interested in this kind of thing, which meant... He had someone else to take. 

‘Thank you, all, i love you guys.. I just.. I wouldn’t know who to bring with me...’ 

You blushed a bit. Of course. He didn’t have anyone, and it shouldn’t have made you feel as relieved as you did. You shrugged and looked up, only to see all eyes on you. Derek’s smirk made you squirm uncomfortably, making you think he was up to no good. And, being himself, he definitely was. 

 ‘Well, I feel like Y/N wants to come with you, don’t you ?’ 

You blushed even more, gently hitting Morgan on the shoulder. Part of you hated him for suggesting that, but the other was thankful. Maybe you would have a chance to finally see that exposition and, more than anything, you would be able to spend an evening with Spencer, just the two of you. Which sounded like a very nice idea to you. 

He looked up to you, smiling shyly, and handed you the second ticket. 

‘I do hope you’re free that evening.’ 

4- Evening together

When it happened, you weren't ready for it. Well, you should’ve, but some part of you still felt like it was unreal. You were both walking home from the show, in silence. It wasn’t awkward, compared to what you had imagined. The silence was calm, almost reassuring. Spencer's hands were in his pockets and he was looking up at the sky with a slight smile that hadn’t left his lips ever since you had arrived. You couldn’t stop yourself from looking at him. He looked like a little kid who had just spent the best day ever, with red cheeks, messy hair and a smile on his lips. You were feeling the same, to be honest, so you couldn’t say anything. 

 ‘I forgot to, uh... Thank you.’ 

You tilted your head and turned your head to look at him, frowning slightly. His eyes were on you and you wondered how long he had been looking at you. He bit his lip and took his hands out of his pockets, playing with his fingers. 

 ‘I mean, tonight was.. Really great. I didn’t know you like that kind of thing and I'm so glad you-you came with me. It was really... Really thoughtful. I-I loved it.’ 

You smiled and shrugged, trying to hide your own feelings. You felt great, awesome actually. The night had been so calming, walking through the alleys and reading old love letters from all ages, all origins, in different languages. And the best part had been Spencer. The minute he had picked you up, you knew you would have a good time. His walls were down, like he was suddenly more comfortable around you, trusted you more. And you loved it. He had been adorable, and if it had been a date, you would’ve easily said it was the best you had in a long time. Walking in silence surrounded by paper might sound boring to most people, but Spencer made it entertaining. You stood side by side, facing each paper as he waited for you to finish reading before moving onto the next one. When the letter was in a language you didn’t understand –which sadly didn’t happen as much as you wanted-, he would read it to you, translating every word in a soft whisper, his eyes focused on the page. He had spent the evening doing everything right, and you regretted that it wasn’t a date. He would’ve been a perfect boyfriend, and you were only wishing for him to find the best –someone who would deserve him. 

You answered with only a smile, and when he smiled back, it felt like your whole world was finally turning right. 

 5- I love you

You sort of wished he didn’t have to tell you he loved you that day. It was almost painful, because you couldn’t answer. The tape over your mouth, the tears rolling down your cheek, the gun pointed at your head... Everything was keeping you from talking. From saying it back. And even that, it wasn’t the best moment to tell a coworker you were in love with them when the both of you were held at gunpoint by an unsub. 

You knew you were about to die. Well, you thought you were. You believed in the team to save Spencer, but you were pretty sure you were done. You weren’t the one with the information the unsub needed, you weren’t the smart one, you weren’t the useful one. You were just bait, and you had been since the beginning of the case. 

Stuck in a cage, you had time to sort out your feelings, admit them to yourself and accept that you would never be able to share them with the one person you loved. Yet here he was, ruining everything, telling you he loved you as you were about to die without telling him you had felt the same ever since you first saw him. 

When you heard a gunshot and a scream, you were sure you were dead. Or wounded at least. But there was nothing, until you felt a hand under your head. 

 ‘Open your eyes, Y/N. Dammit, open your eyes.’ 

 And so you did, fluttering your eyes open, waiting for the tears to fade away to see Emily’s gentle, worried smile. You tried to move, tried to get up, but you were still tied up and you knew she was working on that. But you couldn’t think about anything else, anyone else other than the person you were thinking about for years. 

 ‘Spencer...’ 

‘He’s fine. Don’t worry, we got you.’ 

You whined, trying to get up again. This time, your feet were free and you stumbled up on your feet, fighting against the tape holding your hands together. As Emily took it off, you looked around and let out a sob when you saw the blood where Spencer had been sitting, but you quickly looked away and your eyes fell on him. This time, you cried. You ran up to him as he was sitting on the floor, Morgan next to him with a medic. But you couldn’t care less. You rushed by his side, wiping away your tears, and kneeled by his side. He looked up at you and you saw worry, relief, fear and shame in his eyes. You bit your lip, searching in his eyes, before leaning in and quickly kissing him, before moving away. 

 ‘Say it again.’ 

 ‘I love you, Y/N’ 

[novaiya]

The Portrait of Charles Smith - Charles x Reader

Summary: Based on this request: Can I get Charles catching the reader drawing him? I feel like it’d be so cute to see him all bashful n embarrassed that someone finds him attractive enough to make art of. 

Words: 1369

Warnings: None.

A/N: Guess who just finished the Picture of Dorian Gray and is now making it her entire personality.

Your pencil was making swift strokes on the paper as your eyes flicked between the journal on the table and your subject. You watched his arms, muscular and thick, swing down as he chopped through a log. He used the back of his hand to wipe away the sweat from his forehead, and then reached out for another log, placing it down and once again chopping through it.

You enjoyed watching Charles work, doing different tasks around the camp such as cutting logs for the firewood, fixing up the old wagon or taking care of the horses. He did all those things with grace and ease that always captivated you and that’s why you were drawing him now. The way he was swinging down the ax captured your attention, the way his muscles flexed, and you couldn’t help but get out your journal, quickly scribbling down before he finished his chore.

“Drawing him again, aren’t you?”

You almost jumped out of your chair when you heard Tilly’s voice behind you. You were so engrossed in your thoughts and your art that you didn’t hear her approach you from behind.

“Tilly,” you breathed out, your hand on your chest, “You can just sneak up on people like that.”

“Sorry,” she said with a smile that said she really wasn’t.

You tried to discreetly push your journal to the side, but Tilly was quicker, snatching it away and looking over your sketch. You tried to pry it from her hands, but her grip was solid, and if you kept fumbling with her, you were bound to bring more attention to the two of you. So instead you huffed and turned your head to the side, not wanting to see her face as she looked over your drawing of Charles.

She said your name, making you turn back towards her. “It’s beautiful,” she said. “You have to show it to him!”

“I can’t, Tilly,” you said, shaking your head. “I have put too much of myself into it.”

“What do you mean?”

“If he sees the drawing, he’ll surely understand how I feel about him.” You took the journal from Tilly’s hands and looked over the sketch that you’ve done so far. “Every line that I have drawn is like a love confession. This drawing is nothing if not a love letter to him.”

“Love letters are meant to be sent, not kept in the sender’s possession.”

“That, you might be right about,” you said, closing your journal. You looked in the direction where Charles was chopping the logs, but he was gone now. You’d have to find another opportunity to finish the portrait.

It was a few days later when an opportunity presented itself. You have just finished your chores for the day, and saw Charles by the hitching posts, tending to the horses. He was, as always, engrossed in his work, oblivious to you as you took a seat in by a tree nearby, taking out your journal and drawing him.

The shade from the tree kept you cool and safe from the sun's rays as you sat against it. With the journal in your lap and the pencil in your hands, you went to work, continuing where you left off. The portrait, at that point, was almost finished, it just needed some minor alterations with the shading and the details.

Charles was none the wiser, you thought, as you kept looking at him, memorizing every detail that made him him and transporting it onto the paper. When you told Tilly that every line that you drew was like a love confession, you weren’t exaggerating. If someone was to see the portrait, they would easily tell that it was made by someone who loved Charles. The attention to details, to every freckle, wrinkle and scar, could only be done by someone who loved the subject, loved Charles.

“Tilly was right, it is a beautiful portrait.”

Your head snapped up to where the voice came from. Charles was leaning against the tree, looking down at you, a soft smile on his lips. You could practically feel your face heat up and your heart beat wildly against your rib cage. The mix of embarrassment and surprise that flooded through your veins was so strong, you felt you were gonna faint.

You turned to look at your journal, and then at Charles, stammering and trying to think of something to say. Should you apologize? Give him the drawing? Mount one of the horses and ride out into the sunset?

In the distance, the sound of camp could be heard; a mix of chatter, arguments, and laughter. But where the two of you were, it was quiet, and Charles swore he could hear the sound of your heartbeat against your chest.

He sat down next to you so he could better look at the journal in your hands. The drawing was indeed beautiful, just like Tilly said a few days ago. She pulled him away from his chores to tell him about the portrait that you’ve been drawing, and how beautiful it was and that he should see it. He thought that she might’ve been pulling his leg. A portrait of him? Who would in their right mind spend time to draw him, of all the people, he thought. Seems that that person is you.

After a moment of silence, you mustered up the courage and said, “Do you like it?”

He chuckled and replied, “I do, but…” he trailed.

“But?”

“It’s too beautiful, and I’m anything but that.”

“The portrait doesn’t lie, Charles. I simply captured what I saw.”

Both of you were surprised at your boldness, and Charles asked, “Is this how you see me?”

Charles wasn’t the most confident man when it came to his looks. He was confident in his strength, in his intelligence and his skills, but beauty wasn’t one of them. He was okay, he thought, not the worse, but also not handsome by any standards. So to see this portrait, and see the love with which it was drawn, to see all the details that you paid attention to such as his scars, his lips, his eyes, it struck him.

After a moment of silence you replied, “It is, Charles. You’re beautiful, don’t deny it.”

Despite seeing the portrait you’ve drawn, he was still surprised to actually hear you say it. The words left him speechless, and he found himself averting his gaze, a light shade of pink already making its way to his cheeks.

The effect of your words didn’t go unnoticed by you. You reached out and placed your hand on his cheek, turning his attention back to you. How could he think he was not beautiful, you couldn’t understand. You traced a scar on his cheek with your fingers; you wondered where he got it. You took liberty, and traced his lower lip with your thumb; his lips were big and plump, and you have caught yourself way too many times thinking about how they’d feel against your own, the same thought now coming back full force.

You wetted your lips by an instinct, the act not going unnoticed by Charles who kept his eyes on you the entire time. You raised your gaze, and your eyes met. The air was thick with tension as you inched closer towards each other, more and more, until you met, your lips colliding against each other.

Your imagination couldn’t do this moment justice; it felt so much better than anything you could imagine. His lips were soft and gentle against yours, and the kiss itself was nothing if not tender and soothing. Your journal fell on the ground, forgotten, as your hands made their way to Charles’ hair, tangling your fingers in his locks and bringing him closer to you, deepening the kiss. One of his own hands was on your cheek, caressing your skin, wanting nothing more than to memorize the feeling of you.

If the two of you weren’t busy exploring each other’s mouths, you’d see, in the distance, Tilly smiling to herself, proud of her work as a cupid. You’d have to thank her later, she thought. Maybe you could draw her a portrait.

[edenmemes]

misc lyric sentence starters

pt. 1

❝  i guess it’s one of those nights where i’m bound to want you.  ❞ ❝  fear ain’t gonna save ya, so run for your life.  ❞ ❝  when the thunder roars, the winds will blow, and through the storm i ride alone.  ❞ ❝  no tears will i cry from my animal eyes.  ❞ ❝  i’m not spinning on this planet just for me to make you smile.  ❞ ❝  you are always around to make me smile.  ❞ ❝  i couldn’t think of the right words, now it’s just too late.  ❞ ❝  if i ever were to lose you, i’d surely lose myself.  ❞ ❝  rage is a quiet thing. you think that you’ve tamed it but it’s just lying in wait.  ❞ ❝  sometimes to run is the best thing.  ❞ ❝  sleep on me, feel the rhythm in my chest, just breathe.  ❞ ❝  tell me, did you see the news last night?  ❞ ❝  if past you were to meet future me, would you be holding me here and now?  ❞ ❝  i heard them calling from the distance, so i packed my things and ran.  ❞ ❝  who are you really? and where are you going?  ❞ ❝  maybe this time i can be strong, but since i know who i am, i’m probably wrong.  ❞ ❝  i’m wondering where it all went wrong. i was growing up right, i was a good kid.  ❞ ❝  i know i’ve done wrong and i’ve paid for it.  ❞ ❝  if i want it, i’ll straight up take it from you.  ❞ ❝  even if it hurts, having you by my side is all i need.  ❞ ❝  i have nothing left to prove ‘cause i’ve got nothing left to lose.  ❞ ❝  they say the best memories are the ones that we forget.  ❞ ❝  i like the way you try to run with the wolf pack when your legs are tired.  ❞ ❝  did you ever fight it? all of the pain.  ❞ ❝  i said i’m okay but i don’t know what to do without you.  ❞ ❝  do you like the person you’ve become?  ❞ ❝  i’ve been waking up with your voice in my head.  ❞ ❝  i’ve got nothing left to lose, ‘cause i already lost you.  ❞ ❝  you are a stranger here, why have you come?  ❞ ❝  it’s in my heart, it’s in my head, i can’t take back the things i said.  ❞ ❝  when i hear them use your name, i get all choked up inside.  ❞ ❝  tell me, do you hate me, or do you wanna date me?  ❞ ❝  you make me laugh until i die. can you think of any better way to choke?  ❞ ❝  i’m so sorry that the world has fallen down. i wish i could do something more.   ❞ ❝  i don’t want to leave, but i can’t stay.  ❞ ❝  believe me, i’m speaking plainly and painfully, s.  ❞ ❝  do you ever stop and think about me?  ❞ ❝  i remember tears streaming down your face when i said i’d never let you go.  ❞ ❝  i jump from thought to thought like a flea jumps to a light.  ❞ ❝  lost a part of me, but i am still here.  ❞ ❝  your heart is strange like mine.  ❞ ❝  i see you holding your breath with your arms outstretched, waiting for someone to come rip open your chest.  ❞ ❝  my heart is sweet as candy. i’ll only give it to you. ❞ ❝  it’s a problem, i can’t help it. i made you crazy about me. ❞ ❝  i was yours before you called me mine.  ❞ ❝  you are an angry man. there is hate in your heart.  ❞ ❝  i’ve been living in a bad dream. i wish that somebody would wake me.  ❞ ❝  think twice ‘cause i can’t act nice like everyone else.  ❞ ❝  don’t misunderstand, my easy smiles are for myself.  ❞ ❝  i am in trouble. can’t get these thoughts out of me.  ❞ ❝  i’m afraid of pain. both yours and mine.  ❞ ❝  i can tell just what you want. you don’t want to be alone.  ❞ ❝  innocence died screaming. ask me, i should know.  ❞ ❝  so much pride running through my veins.  ❞ ❝  i keep sending you a signal, but you’re the only person who doesn’t notice it. ❞ ❝  it’s never too late to come back to my side.  ❞ ❝  people couldn’t believe what i’d become.  ❞ ❝  every once in a while, the little things make me smile.  ❞ ❝  did you ever notice i’ve been ashamed all my life?  ❞ ❝  just close your eyes, the sun is going down. you’ll be alright. no one can hurt you now.  ❞ ❝  there ain’t no use in crying. it doesn’t change anything, so what good does it do?  ❞ ❝  i can see it as clear as day. close your eyes, so afraid, hide behind that baby face.  ❞ ❝  pain, joy and even thinking...everything disappears if i love at you. ❞ ❝  i can feel it, i’m in danger. i can’t run away.  ❞ ❝  in a world full of lies, my only truth is you.  ❞ ❝  believing nothing feels like such a hollow way to be.  ❞ ❝  i don’t want to leave, but i can’t stay.  ❞ ❝  won’t you lay your healing hands on my chest?  ❞ ❝  in your hands, there’s a touch that can heal. but in those same hands, is the power to kill.  ❞ ❝  the only place i ever loved is a place i left behind.  ❞ ❝  it’s so hard to tell which side you’re on.  ❞ ❝  if anyone asks who i am, i’m here to save this darn earth.  ❞ ❝  when you look at yourself, are you a man or a monster?  ❞ ❝  it won’t be long ‘till i’m dead and gone.  ❞ ❝  why am i being like this? why am i so nervous?  ❞ ❝  i don’t want to become one who can’t overcome.  ❞ ❝  when you grew up is this what you had in mind?  ❞ ❝  i want to know you better.  ❞ ❝  being pretty is a sin. it’s my sin.  ❞ ❝  do you wanna know what is on my mind? i feel like i don’t belong here lately.  ❞ ❝  no one makes you feel the way you do.  ❞ ❝  i’m a little too intelligent for you and your friends.  ❞ ❝  you can’t take back the damage you’ve done.  ❞ ❝  if i ever were to lose you, i’d surely lose myself.  ❞ ❝  i know i’ll kill my enemies when they come.  ❞ ❝  you can’t change me. i’m a bad man.  ❞ ❝  got no connection, no faith or direction.  ❞ ❝  one thing that is clear: it is all downhill from here.  ❞ ❝  i’ll never let the two of us be friends.  ❞ ❝  i'll show you ruin. i’ll show you vengeance.  ❞ ❝  how rare and beautiful it is to even exist.  ❞ ❝  the beauty of this mess is that it brings me close to you.  ❞ ❝  have i become the man that i hated once?  ❞ ❝  i lost myself when i lost you.  ❞ ❝  the only heaven i’ll be sent to is when i’m alone with you.  ❞ ❝  i never could keep my mouth shut when i needed to.  ❞ ❝  so, tell me, how does it feel? you’re all alone.  ❞ ❝  when i’m like this, you’re the one i trust.  ❞ ❝  i want something good to die for to make it beautiful to live.  ❞ ❝  what’s gonna be left of the world if you’re not in it?  ❞ ❝  i was once poison ivy, but now i’m your daisy.  ❞ ❝  can you carry it with no regrets? can you stand the person you’ve become?  ❞ ❝  everybody wonders what it would be like to love you.  ❞ ❝  i knew that we'd be more than friends when i saw you shining. somewhere in my heart i knew. ❞ ❝  i’m a ghost walking on an empty street, no name anymore, no need to call for me.  ❞ ❝  i used to rule the world. seas would rise when i gave the word.  ❞ ❝  never be so kind you forget to be clever.  ❞ ❝  you’re like lightning in a bottle. i can’t let you go now that i got it.  ❞ ❝  i wish everybody knew what’s so great about you.  ❞ ❝  i’m still haunted by those open wounds. i won’t express them truly to you.  ❞ ❝  you could drag me through hell if it meant i could hold your hand.  ❞ ❝  there’s something tragic about you, something so magic about you.  ❞ ❝  see me bare my teeth for you.  ❞ ❝  i feel no need to forgive but i might as well.  ❞ ❝  feels like i’ve known you my whole life. i can see right through your lies.  ❞ ❝  'what’s wrong?’ you’ve been asking. but i don’t have an answer.  ❞ ❝  pulling me closer, i’m drawn by your command.  ❞ ❝  the secrets you tell me, i’ll take to my grave.  ❞ ❝  if what you see is what you want, fight for it.  ❞ ❝  i know you got my back and you know i got you.  ❞ ❝  i don’t know where we’re going but i’d like to be by your side.  ❞ ❝  the arrow that you shot will come back to you.  ❞ ❝  you drive me crazier than a wingless bee.  ❞ ❝  sweet, sweet fate, i’ve had about all i can take.  ❞ ❝  i think with my heart and i move with my head.  ❞ ❝  long story short, i survived.  ❞ ❝  i want you back. the you of the past.  ❞ ❝  i just wanna say sometimes, spontaneous is good.  ❞ ❝  if you walked a mile using my feet, you would go a little easy on me.  ❞ ❝  this ain’t no place for no hero.  ❞ ❝  tell me what you want from me. tell me what you need.  ❞ ❝  where is the hope in a world so cold?  ❞ ❝  you’re living in fear that no one will hear your cries.  ❞ ❝  your love is scaring me. no one has ever cared for me.  ❞ ❝  it’s like i’ve seen you before, known you before.  ❞ ❝  for as long as i love and as long as i love, i will never not think about you.  ❞ ❝  i don’t know what i’d do without your comfort.  ❞ ❝  you had something to hide. should of hidden it, shouldn’t you?  ❞ ❝  we don’t know how this could end. let’s hope it won’t have to.  ❞ ❝  don’t ever tame your demons, but always keep them on a leash.  ❞ ❝  the sun will rise, and we will try again.  ❞ ❝  there’s demons in your mind and they scream when it’s too bright.  ❞ ❝  now only this seems clear: i need to move, i need to fight.  ❞ ❝  i'm going out, standing tall, i won’t let them break me.  ❞ ❝  do you walk in the shadow of men who sold their lives to a dream?  ❞ ❝  if you think i can’t hold my own, believe me, i can.  ❞ ❝  can it be i stayed away too long?  ❞ ❝  yeah, stay with me forever, now what you say? ❞ ❝  who imagined that cruel ending?  ❞ ❝  come on. come a little closer.  ❞ ❝  why do you want to spend your precious time filling with hate?  ❞ ❝  we’re always connected, aren’t we?  ❞ ❝  you’re exactly what you’re meant to be. there ain’t nothing wrong with you.  ❞ ❝  actually, i am so greedy only for me.  ❞ ❝  i called your name every day. a thousand times. ten million times.  ❞ ❝  your silence is my favourite sound.  ❞ ❝  i keep smiling like a person who is possessed by something.  ❞ ❝  embrace the darkness and i will help you see that you can be limitless and fearless.  ❞ ❝  look in the mirror and tell me what you see. is it still you?  ❞ ❝  my home is a girl with eyes like wishing wells.  ❞ ❝  sometimes i feel like i don’t wanna smile.  ❞ ❝  by day and night, and even early morning, i have your face in my mind. ❞ ❝  in your twinkling eyes i feel like i’m going to melt. ❞ ❝  i’m falling under your spell.  ❞ ❝  don’t make me hate you more.  ❞ ❝  i don’t even know me. i can’t explain.  ❞ ❝  if you have nightmares, we’ll dance on the bed.  ❞ ❝  i need to ask you questions like: would you want to dance?  ❞ ❝  it’s too late to change events. it’s time to face the consequence.  ❞ ❝  and for every king that died, oh, they’d crown another.  ❞ ❝  i know sometimes you get so caught in a dream, but now it’s time to wake up from this.  ❞ ❝  when the stars look down on me, what do they see?  ❞ ❝  i miss the friends i had to leave behind.  ❞ ❝  if i had a heart i could love you.  ❞ ❝  the more you say, the less i know.  ❞ ❝  your heart’s a mess. you won’t admit to it.  ❞ ❝  i do not want to be cold to you but you left me no choice again.  ❞ ❝  i’ll never be your chosen one.  ❞ ❝  what is fate revealing? will i survive or will i fall?  ❞ ❝  watch me make them bow one by one.  ❞ ❝  you leave no trace behind, like you don’t even exist.  ❞ ❝  in this twilight, how dare you speak of grace?  ❞ ❝  you know you’re fighting in a losing battle.  ❞ ❝  the only thing that’s holding me from going wrong is you holding me.  ❞ ❝  i keep looking at you and it feels like i've been staring at the sun.  ❞ ❝  if you love me, then say you love me.  ❞ ❝  i've seen enough now to know that beautiful things don’t always stay that way.  ❞ ❝  you better act your age or you’re gonna find yourself alone some day.  ❞ ❝  your silence is my favourite sound.  ❞ ❝  maybe one day, you’ll understand why everything you touch surely dies.  ❞ ❝  what if i told you that things will never improve?  ❞ ❝  you should never ever trust my kind.  ❞ ❝  as young as i was, i felt older back then. more disciplined, stronger and certain.  ❞ ❝  i know you miss the old days. the old days are gone.  ❞ ❝  i'm a wanted man, i got blood on my hands.  ❞ ❝  promise me that time won’t erase us.  ❞ ❝  your touch brought forth an incadescent glow, tarnished but so grand.  ❞ ❝  how am i gonna be an optimist about this?  ❞ ❝  you win some and you lose some. i’ve been losing for a while now.  ❞ ❝  my shadow’s the only one that walks beside me.  ❞ ❝  i know that i did you wrong, but will you trust me when i say i’ll make it up to you somehow?  ❞ ❝  about time for anyone telling you off for all your deeds.  ❞ ❝  quiet now, you’re gonna wake the beast.  ❞ ❝  you’re such a sweet young thing. why’d you do this to yourself?  ❞ ❝  this is a bad town for such a pretty face.  ❞ ❝  just know you’re not alone.  ❞ ❝  if i have to wait for you, i’ll do it and not give up as time goes by.  ❞ ❝  i don’t trust this thing that beats inside my chest.  ❞ ❝  i know i took the path you that you would never want for me.  ❞ ❝  sometimes i think of doing terrible things.  ❞ ❝  don’t you worry and lean on me.  ❞ ❝  i’ve wished for something endlessly...i seem to have finally found it.  ❞ ❝  all this bad blood, won’t you let it dry? it’s been cold by years, won’t you let it lie?  ❞ ❝  so softly i’ll remind you, of the ways you let me down.  ❞ ❝  now i’m a ghost of what i once was.  ❞ ❝  why don’t you place your hand in mine?  ❞ ❝  don’t be afraid. you know you are where you’re meant to be.  ❞ ❝  tell me, what you waiting for?  ❞ ❝  please, this is just too good to be gone.  ❞ ❝  you look like yourself but you’re somebody else.  ❞ ❝  don’t let the darkness eat you up.  ❞      ❝  i can hear your pulse racing from here.  ❞ ❝  to capture a predator, you can’t remain the prey.  ❞ ❝  heavy is the crown, but only for the weak.  ❞ ❝  to the ends of the earth, would you follow me?  ❞ ❝  i’ve told a million lies but now i tell a single truth.  ❞ ❝  you’re supposed to save me from me.  ❞ ❝  i think we both know the way this story ends.  ❞ ❝  i am a human being, capable of doing terrible things.  ❞ ❝  i heard a scream in the woods somewhere.  ❞ ❝  i do not feel nostalgia for a past life. a new chapter, new thoughts.  ❞ ❝  your traces remain and they torture me.  ❞ ❝  this is never gonna go our way if i’m gonna have to guess what’s on your mind.  ❞ ❝  do you feel the hunger? does it terrify you? or do you feel alive?  ❞ ❝  do you ponder the manner of things in the dark?  ❞ ❝  some legends are told, some will turn to dust or to gold, but you will remember me.  ❞ ❝  there's nothing that i'd take back but it's hard to say there's nothing i regret.  ❞ ❝  i’m sorry for everything. everything i’ve done.  ❞ ❝  time to let it go. it won’t let go of me.  ❞ ❝  i don’t want no one to know i’m vulnerable. why?  ❞ ❝  we just need to go through it and grow, don’t cry.  ❞ ❝  i’m not entirely here. half of me has disappeared.  ❞ ❝  can we always be this close forever and ever?  ❞ ❝  i love me. not so perfect but so beautiful.  ❞ ❝  i’m highly suspicious that everyone who sees you wants you.  ❞ ❝  i don’t care if your love is a risk to me, with you i bet everything.  ❞ ❝  i know if i’m haunting you, you must be haunting me.  ❞ ❝  i love the way you can see the good in everything.  ❞ ❝  i heard that evil comes disguised.  ❞ ❝  you are a mythical thing.  ❞ ❝  oh, stupid things i do, i’m far from good, it’s true.  ❞ ❝  you gotta be so cold to make it in this world.  ❞ ❝  anger destroys your soul.  ❞ ❝  don’t you tell me what you think that i can be.  ❞ ❝  your mind is playing tricks on you, my dear.  ❞ ❝  i might be proud, but at least i’m proud of something. you've taken pride in becoming nothing.  ❞ ❝  you got my attention, so what’s your intention?  ❞ ❝  what if i let you in and you don’t like what you see?  ❞ ❝  all the promises at sundown...i’ve meant them like the rest.  ❞ ❝  ain’t it warming you, the world going up in flames?  ❞ ❝  this sick, strange darkness comes creeping on, so haunting every time.  ❞ ❝  i don’t want to rest in peace. i’d rather be the ghost that annoys you.  ❞ ❝  i hope you know that i’d give it all for a moment with you.  ❞ ❝  maybe i’m hopeless, but i’m only human.  ❞ ❝  don’t look at me with those eyes.  ❞ ❝  you don’t know how lovely you are.  ❞ ❝  just say the word. we’ll take on the world.  ❞ ❝  i just need to know that you won’t forget about me.  ❞ ❝  the time has come when you and i must part.  ❞ ❝  i can see the pain in your eyes.  ❞ ❝  you’ve got a warm heart, but it’s disintegrating.  ❞ ❝  no light, no light in your bright blue eyes.  ❞ ❝  you’ve got a lot to say from the one that walked away.  ❞ ❝  i don’t even know if i believe everything you’re trying to say to me.  ❞ ❝  lay down your arms. i don’t wanna fight anymore.  ❞ ❝  they made a monster out of me.  ❞ ❝  i said i am no evil man then i paused as if convinced of what that meant.  ❞ ❝  no one knows the inner grief of my poor aching heart.   ❞ ❝  i belong with you, you belong with me. you’re my sweetheart.  ❞ ❝  i had the strangest feeling your world’s not all it seems.  ❞ ❝  yeah, remember when you wanted to forget me?  ❞ ❝  if you don’t love me now, you will never love me again.  ❞ ❝  i'll be laughing while you’re running. you won’t see me coming.  ❞ ❝  we created something phenomenal, don’t you agree?  ❞ ❝  i still dream ‘bout the good old days when we took care of each other.  ❞ ❝  this is the way that i will break you, my dear.  ❞ ❝  make sure nobody sees you leave.  ❞ ❝  i learned to be in love and learned to be alone, satisfied body and hungry soul.  ❞ ❝  sorry i was never good like you.  ❞ ❝  you know you will not gain strength from this path. you know you will not gain peace from this path. but you are addicted and on this path.  ❞ ❝  time cast a spell on you but you won’t forget me.  ❞ ❝  we’re connected by a thread. if we’re ever far apart, i’ll still feel the pull of you.  ❞ ❝  i’m still thinking, let’s pretend to fall asleep now.  ❞ ❝  i turned and ran to save a life i never had.  ❞     ❝  i’m not sorry. i’m just getting started.  ❞ ❝  i don’t think i can love anyone but you, dear, that’s for sure.  ❞ ❝  let me occupy your mind as you do mine.  ❞ ❝  i know that i caught your eye.  ❞ ❝  i wonder what’s on your mind.  ❞ ❝  the more that i fight it, the more that i think about it.  ❞ ❝  i’d rather be alone, i am not good in crowds. ❞ ❝  a voice within me keeps repeating: you --- you --- you.  ❞   ❝  what must it be like to grow up that beautiful?  ❞ ❝  tell me what do you mean when you say that we’re not okay.  ❞ ❝  i loved you then and i love you now.  ❞ ❝  when your eyes are closing, where do you wish you were instead? ❞ ❝  what if you hear the thoughts that haunt me in my sleep?  ❞ ❝  the light is coming to take back everything the darkness stole.  ❞ ❝  as much as i definitely enjoy solitude, i wouldn’t mind perhaps spending little time with you.  ❞ ❝  i feel that i’m finally growing weary of waiting to be consumed by you.  ❞ ❝  in the cracks of light, i dreamed of you.  ❞ ❝  it pains me to see you cry.  ❞ ❝  you will always be my favourite ghost.  ❞ ❝  every moment with you is like the first time.  ❞ ❝  started with a word, now look where we are.  ❞ ❝  you keep telling me that i’m wrong. your eyes only see what they want to see.  ❞ ❝  i just cannot make it through the day without thinking of you lately.  ❞ ❝  just say that you don’t want me, just say that you don’t need me. tell me i’m the fool.  ❞ ❝  we made the best of what we had, you know?  ❞ ❝  there’s an ache in you.  ❞ ❝  you are the ghost that rattles my bones.  ❞ ❝  i’m just as good as anybody. i’m just as bad as anybody.  ❞

[theballadoffinchesandsaints]

Let’s talk about the Vaincre trade:

(As I am writing this, only the first full chapter, July, has been published)

I’ve said before that I’m fairly certain it’s going to be Leo, but I want to walk through the thought process that got me there (this is long and unedited. You’ve been warned).

First, since this is going to be such a major plot point, I think it’s going to be a character who’s inner circle had at least a minor spotlight in the first chapter. These were Coops, O’knutzy, O’darwin, Thomas & Noelle (do they have a ship name???), Regulus (tho he’s obviously disqualified for not being a pro player rn), and Cole (with a bit of Dumo).

Additionally, I think a key component of this plotline will be developing characters so that they can stand on their own once separated from a crucial relationship (thematically, it makes the most sense to me).

With that in mind, let’s do some quick (yeah lol prob not quick) disqualifications from the list:

Remus: I know this is a more common theory (and god would it hurt) but Remus’ storyline is already jampacked with living up to the standards of the league, team, and public, as well as adjust to a new relationship dynamic with Sirius. On a more heavy note, Remus will have to navigate how playing hockey will interact with the trauma of Greyback’s attack and the resulting injury. I’m sure most of us inferred that this would be a plot point, but the idea was solidified in a snippet of Remus and the team discussing predictions for the top teams of the season.

Sirius: while narratively, I actually think it would be fascinating to see the lions learn to be a team without their leader and to see Sirius have to learn that there are other parts of the world he can trust, this one falls apart in both logistics and clues Hazel has already given us. Truly, I cannot imagine a trade in which it would make sense for the Lions to give up their beloved, talented, effective captain and first line center, especially after he just led them to Stanley Cup. And when someone asked Hazel about (I believe) what relationships would be highlighted in Vaincre, Coops made the list with the qualification that their storyline would largely center around Remus’s adjustment to the team. A Sirius trade requires long-distance Coops angst which, while possible, would be both difficult and against the spirit of the statement.

O’Darwin and Thomas & Noelle already have long-distance angst happening in July, so trading either Kasey or Thomas would miss some of the emotional punch we know Hazel is going to give us.

Cole: I mean, the kid’s a rookie. It doesn’t really make sense. Threads seem to be being set up with the Dumais’ baby sitter and maybe one of the new PTs? (I don’t remember exactly where I’m getting this from, but I’m near certain it was from Hazel’s tumblr). It seems like physical encounters are going to be a big thing with both of these relationships, plus all the obvious great storylines of a new rookie getting comfortable in the team, make it unlikely Cole will be the trade. Not to mention, there are no guts to punch with Cole. We love him already, but he isn’t close with anyone on the team yet. We’d feel disappointed, not devastated, if he got traded. We all know Hazel’s going for devastation.

Dumo: this one approaches probability for me. Dumo would be heartbreaking for every member of the team, but especially Sirius and Logan. It would also sort of follow through on a previous idea from a rough draft of SW where Dumo has a career-ending injury. All the players would have to learn to navigate life without a father figure, and it would break down the system of where many Lions rookies live. But this one’s all speculation, at least as far as I know. It’s not hinted at in July, and I can’t think of any snippets that suggest Dumo. Plus, it feels like all of the main POVs have been set up in July, and we know from the dreaded “of being a lion” snippet (in which said player gets called about the trade) that we do get POV chapters from the player who’s traded.

We’ll get back to O’knutzy later. First, some people who aren’t on the list that I feel are worth discussing briefly (tho these are unlikely for the reasons at the end of Dumo’s):

Kuny & Nado: Now, I remember Kuny’s “no trades, no trades” thing from Hazel’s tumblr. It hurts. It feels like foreshadowing. But, remember, Hazel has also said that these boys will both play a more secondary role in Vaincre. They’re both safe.

James: I go back and forth on this one all the time. Thematically, separating Sirius and James would be both heartbreaking and deeply interesting. James was a major force in bringing Sirius out of his shell, and Sirius would have to learn to maintain that without his best friend always by his side. James and Lily are also suspiciously absent from July. I know Hazel said they’re on their honeymoon, and I’m not disputing that in any way, shape, or form. However, it does provide ample excuse to become a new POV in August. However, I can’t find any snippets to really support it. And, just, in general, James as a character in Hazel’s fics (or at least in Solntse and SW) provides a stable backbone for the other characters. He’a developed as a character but stable and happy. This could be the thing that changes that, but, at the very least, it doesn’t fit the narrative role he serves in SW, and I think it would change the feel and character dynamic of the fic as a whole (not just of the team) too much for that to be the choice.

And then there’s O’knutzy:

Going into Vaincre, I asked myself: what are everyone’s plotlines going to be? Remus will adjust to the team and playing Greyback. Sirius will largely be his support system, tho some stuff may be done with his relationship with Regulus and/or moving on from any semblance of his parents’ influence. Dumo will welcome rookie Cole onto the team. James will be a new father. Thomas and Noelle will have long-distance relationship feels. Kasey will adjust to O’darwin, and probably also deal with his reoccurring injury.

And the cubs? Are in a happy, stable relationship with everything they’ve ever wanted. The seeds to a storyline regarding whether or not they choose to come out was definitely hinted at in July, but I don’t think it will be their sole focus. Thankfully, there is nothing pressuring them to come out currently. They think about it. They long to do it. But nothing has changed since the end of SW/CtC. If one of them was long-distance, that would change the dynamic. When you can always go home to your two loving boyfriends, it doesn’t hurt quite as bad when you can’t be affectionate when out with them in public. When you’re only in the same city for a day or two roughly every month (depending on which team the trade is with), every second you could spend holding them and don’t hurts more and more. Whether I think they choose to come out or not, I really don’t know. I think so, but I’m definitely not sure. But the real question is, which cub goes away and prompts this?

If it’s a cub, it’s definitely Leo. Hazel posted a snippet that just...says so much.

Do I even need to explain? She practically told us. I’ve spent over an hour analyzing nearly every prominent Lion when Hazel practically told us Leo was going to be the trade with this right here.

But I do have more to say. I don’t think either Finn or Logan would work well as the trade. The plot of them being separated was well explored in CtC, and I honestly just don’t think it needs more examination. They learned to cherish each other, talk to each other, love each other freely and honestly. Them being separated again would just hurt. It wouldn’t serve a narrative purpose.

On the other hand, I do think Leo’s character could actually benefit from some time alone. He had barely a few months as a full-blown adult, working in the NHL, before he entered a committed relationship with his two lovely boyfriends, both of whom had had years more time to live with and explore themselves (tho it’s not as if they were doing that freely). A couple of months or even years dating long-distance could force Leo to have some more adventures on his own and come into himself more. Then, he can fully return to his boys, his “long-lost lover[s],” and be more stable in his love.

In a similar vein, Logan and Finn have only had short amounts of time to make their leg of the relationship stable and happy in comparison to the time they spent yearning or heartbroken. Even in CtC, their reflex is to go to Leo first, which is, of course, perfectly fine and lovely and adorable, but I think they need to spend some time unlearning that knee jerk reaction.

Then, when Leo comes back (because one way or another, in canon or in my head, he will), all three are confident in themselves as individuals and in each leg of the relationship as well as the three of them as group. No one and no couple n e e d s anything, but they come back together because they all love each other, more than anything.

That’s what I think will see in Vaincre. At the very least, it’s what I want.

Vaincre is by the one and only @lumosinlove

[minachuuu]

(G)-Idle Reaction to falling for a composer.

This one was maybe inspired by Maze. I thought of the concept one day when listening to the song, and it stuck with me. This one is pretty fluffy if I say so myself!

Miyeon

The first time she saw you sitting near the console in the studio she couldn’t take her eyes from you, but you were sitting there in silence, just taking notes and she had no idea who you were and why you were there. She went into the cabin to record her lines, not losing sight of you through the glass, but when you raised your eyes to meet hers and smiled, she fumbled and scrambled every single one of the words.

After another take and the red on her cheeks not easing, she went back to your side of the studio, and with every nerve on her body filled with courage, she wrote her phone number on a piece of paper and handed it to you. Later that day, a text made her phone shake and she was surprised when she read:

Such an angelic voice fits perfectly with such a pretty girl. I’ll write more songs if that means I get to see you again. Btw, my name is Y/n, glad to meet you.

The oldest squeaked in bliss as she embraced her phone for dear life, to the surprise of all her youngest members.

It didn’t take long until you started dating, and with such a beautiful muse by your side, inspiration flows like a river through you, composing beautiful creations only for you to listen to Miyeon bring them to life with her beautiful voice.

Minnie

You were sitting in the studio, playing around with the synths and some lyrics. You wouldn’t say you have a perfect voice, but you could carry a melody enough to record your own demos. But you were so into your own thoughts that you failed to realize the only other presence in the room. 

“I think that would sound better if you went a bit higher…”

Her voice made you spring in surprise, as Minnie grabbed the chair besides you, and pulled in closer. She sang the melody you were working on and that was the moment you knew you were hooked. And by the way she looked at you when you got lost in your creations, one could safely say it was mutual. You spend your days locked in the studio, looking like children in a candy store, playing with chords, melodies and everything in your disposal. 

Yes, you were both very aware of your feelings, but Minnie took the first step when she arrived one day at the studio, a little folder paper with a confession written on it… in five different languages. 

Of course you nervously said yes, and from that day on your life, your life is a thousand times more fun and full of light, courtesy of one of the most beautiful, talented and bright girls in the world. 

Soojin

One night, it was very late and you found yourself roaming the empty, dark dance studio with your guitar, searching for something to help you with your mind block. Your prayers would be answered in the form of a beautiful girl opening the door. 

You both shared the same problem, and with a glance you promised not to bother the other as you coexisted in the same room. 

But when your eyes caught a glimpse of Soojin freestyling, your fingers instinctively struck the chords and rhythm in harmony with her body. She caught on pretty fast to whatever you were doing, letting passion flow like a language in between your two different but very complementary art forms. Let’s say you ended up exchanging a little more than phone numbers that night.

And now you two are now the best team to ever grace the company. Sometimes she runs to you, and shows you a new dance movement and you create a beautiful melody to go with it. A passionate relationship to say the least, her bandmates have a say that when your hands aren't on an instrument, they're on Soojin. 

But can they really complain when there's some really iconic stages born from your freestyling sessions? At least that's what you both say you're working on when you lock the door of the studio behind you. 

Soyeon

This one itself could be worthy of an entire enemy-to-lovers fic. 

We know Soyeon is fond of her craft, so when Cube assigned (G)-Idle a composer she was furious. She tried missing some meetings, tried to get to deadlines earlier, in general, she evaded you as long as she could, but the one time she couldn’t find a way around meeting you, she hated herself a little for discovering late you were really kind and talented, and mostly… incredibly cute.

Now more than evading you on spite, she tried her best to not fall for you. And she was doing great, keeping her distance and the relationship between you two as professional as possible until one day, you knocked the door to her studio. 

She couldn't resist and invited you in. And nobody could predict what followed. You were taking out hit, after hit, after hit, albums full of songs worth title tracks. 

To be honest, no one would have known you two eventually got together until you decided to tell her members, you like the privacy of your haven. And even if people think it's a little odd for a relationship, more than cuddles and kisses, your love language consists of sharing the passion you both have for music. 

Yuqi

There's not a single soul in Cube's building that Yuqi hasn't stricken up a conversation with, and you were no exception when you first arrived as the new composer. There was no stopping her as she found your craft fascinating, having dipped her own fingers in the composing pool a few times, everyday that her schedules allowed her she was there asking you a thousand different things. 

And of course you didn't mind. It was really fun and sweet to have someone that interested in you and in what you do. Especially someone as cute as Yuqi. 

Time was the only factor needed for you two to be able to build a very close relationship. One day you were both putting the final touches on a new track, and after giving a last listen to the whole arrangement you had a definite hit in your hands, Yuqi's excitement couldn't be contained and she crashed her lips against yours. Was it shocking? Yes. But surprising? Not really, you could cut the tension in between you both with a plastic knife. 

You could say that entering a relationship full of energy and love, where everyday it's a new opportunity to discover new things and learn something it's your favorite perk of your new job.

Shuhua

Shuhua had finished her schedules early, she was feeling a little bit down and tired, so she decided to join Soyeon and Soojin to the recording studio, but she wasn't prepared for what awaited her beyond that door. 

When she locked her eyes on your concentrated face, tweaking the arrangement, your fingers gracefully dancing across the piano, a sudden chill traveled her spine, and her brain started working at a thousand miles per hour. Her bandmates had never seen her like this, but she just wanted to have your attention, and it sure worked. 

You too weren't feeling great that day in particular, but Shuhua's energy managed to uplift your spirits. It was a rush through both of your veins, an atmosphere you became addicted to because well… It made you both extremely happy. From that day on, there was never a single boring day in your life as it is said that after meeting Shuhua, you were able to write the first happy song of your career. 

They say the best relationships have a good friendship as a base, and you and Shuhua are nothing but best friends with some extra physical perks here and there. Days full of pranks, laughter, dancing and singing all to the rhythm of happy songs. 

[band--psycho]

Fred Weasley x Reader (Hurt/Comfort)-A Kiss At Sunset

A/n: My sixth entry for @girl-next-door-writes​ bingo challenge, I hope you enjoy!

(Credit to the photo owners)

Warnings: Talks and feelings of depression

Y/Ns POV

Depression. Some people understand it and some people just think it’s a cry for attention. For some people, it starts with a traumatic event for others there’s seemingly no reason for it. I  was one of those people who fell into the later category. There was no apparent reason for her depression, it was just there. It started with feeling irritated over small things or issues, I didn’t look forward to spending time with anyone so I avoided it at every possible chance, I didn’t feel like studying at all, I just wanted to stay in my bed away from everyone. I was losing enthusiasm for life and no one really noticed because I was able to paint on a fake smile every day and act like I was fine. And if I faltered in the act I’d just tell people I was having a bad day or something like that to stop them from asking questions, I made sure to always have a book in my hand even if I wasn’t reading it.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Third Person POV

“Ladies,” Fred and George greeted Angelina and Katie in a charismatic tone as George threw his arms around the two girls. 

“Morning guys,” They responded in an equally cheery tone.  

“Where’s Y/n?” Fred asked, his smile faltering slightly when he couldn’t see her. 

“Still in bed, she said she said she had a headache,” Katie answered, with a sympathetic smile on her face. 

“Again?” He asked, remembering how often she’d used this reason recently. 

“It’s probably all the studying she’s been doing,” Angelina added, with a small sigh. 

“Yeah,” both of the red haired boys agreed. But something was playing on Freds mind. He had known for a while that something was wrong with Y/n, he didn’t know what but she was different now. Even when she was reading her favourite books, he noticed that her eyes wouldn’t light up the same way as they did before. Her smile wasn’t as large and carefree as it was a few months ago, it was smaller, forced. She seemed distant; normally she’d be the first to plan something to do on the weekends, the first to have the idea of throwing a party for any special occasion, Gryffindor winning a Quidditch match, finishing exams, birthdays, now if she had a day off she just stayed in her room. He needed to know what was wrong, he needed to know how to help..

“You guys go on ahead, I forgot my potions book,” Fred said quickly before turning round and heading to the common room. 

~~~~~~~~

Y/Ns POV

Scrunching my eyes shut I mentally sighed as I heard the door to the room open, dread washing over me at the prospect of having to interact with another person, I wanted nothing more than to remain tucked safely beneath the covers away from the world. But it would seem I couldn’t be that lucky.Having fully expected to hear Angelina or Katie’s voice, I prepared myself to put on a smile and a cheery disposition, the very thought invoking the opposite of what I set to achieve however, but the familiar tone that filled my ears was far too masculine and low to be Angelina or Katie. 

“Y/n/n,” it was gentle, but expectant. The familiar voice alluring enough that I found myself lowering the duvet from over my head. Propping myself up onto an elbow, I turned to look over my shoulder and true enough there stood Fred in the process of shutting the door, effectively locking us away from prying eyes and ears; an action which I was extremely grateful for. 

“Fred? What are you doing here?” I had no doubt that the confusion was evident on my face, though with Fred I didn’t mind that he saw behind the mask I had made for myself. It was a subconscious habit of mine, one that I hated, though I knew that no matter how much effort I put into trying, he’d see the real me regardless. He always had, ever since we were young.

“Katie said you had a headache,” and there it was. His tone and expression were enough to tell me he knew it was a lie, he wasn’t buying my excuse for a second. Part of me wanted nothing more than to tell him the truth, tell him about everything I’d kept bottled up inside. I wanted to be honest with him,  like we always had, but at the same time I didn’t want him thinking any less of me.

“Okay?” Maybe if I just played it cool he’d  take the hint and leave me be.

“I didn’t believe her,” narrowing his eyes, I watched as he steadily closed the distance between us both.

Why couldn’t he just take the hint? It wasn’t his fault, I knew it wasn’t. 

“What?” I cursed myself for how wobbly my voice was. Coming to stand by the side of my bed, crossing his arms as he studied  me, his eyes searching mine for the truth.

“You always seem to have a headache recently,” he pointed out, tilting his head to the side, pressing his lips together. I could see his thoughts racing behind his eyes, mind racing to put the pieces of the puzzle together.

“Cos I’ve been reading a lot that’s all,” I mumbled, attempting to stir him away from what he was thinking but it was half hearted, even for me.

“That’s a lie and we both know it,” I noticed how his eyes grew soft, though I could also see the determination in his gestures.

“Fred I don’t know what you’re talking about,” 

Please Freddie, stop, I thought to myself. I couldn’t do this. Not now, not with him...

“Yes, you do,” sighing through his nose, he watched as I pushed myself up into a sitting position, straightening out the covers to rest over my lap as I looked up at him. “You’ve been different for a while now, sadder,”

“Fred, I’m fine,” I lied. I wasn’t. I really wasn’t. All I wanted to do was curl up back into a ball, tucked away into the darkness that was offered to me whilst under the duvet. The curtains were still drawn, and finally I had some time to be alone. 

“No, you’re not,” with a groan I sighed running hand through my hair in frustration, though not a moment later my head shot up at the feeling of a weight dipping the side of my bed. I just wanted him to stop...I could feel myself reaching my breaking point and the last thing I wanted to do was breakdown infront Fred.

Fred had sat himself beside me, and I could feel the tears brimming in my eyes as the following words left his mouth, “Y/n/n, I’ve known you since we were eight years old, I know when something’s wrong,”

Eyes widening, I noticed as the panic flooded over Fred for all of a few seconds as the tears cascade down my cheeks. I’d been fighting them off for so long now,  pushing them aside in a desperate bid to collect myself and not breakdown.

Of course he knew, he saw me, he always had. I wasn’t used to it, Katie and Angelina, they were good friends, but they didn’t really understand me. They didn’t see behind my mask, they didn’t know anything was wrong. But Fred, he saw me, the real me, the me behind the mask I so desperately tried to hide behind.

“I can’t do this anymore Fred… I just, I feel so alone. I feel so unmotivated and, and I don’t…” not knowing how to express the overwhelming emotions, I could feel my voice trail off as the sobs took over me. My breath caught momentarily  in my throat as Fred leaned forward and drew me into his embrace.I couldn’t remember the last time someone had held me, nor the last someone had looked at me- really looked at me. He pulled me into his lap and I let him, clinging onto his shirt and he does nothing but rub a hand soothingly over my back, whispering words of reassurance and comfort into my hair as my tears soak into his shirt

It felt like hours had passed, though, really it couldn’t be more than five minutes, but when I pulled away, with a trembling lip, I furiously wiped away at the tears still staining my cheeks. I felt  better for getting it out of my system, but at the same time embarrassment washed over, I hated myself for breaking down on him the way I did. This is exactly what I wanted to avoid,

“I’m sorry,” I apologised, though my voice was  quiet, I knew it was thick with emotion that was overflowing through me, but he seemed to hear me loud and clear. Not a second later a hand reached out to my chin, lifting my face towards him. His touch was gentle, but firm enough that I allowed the action, more out of shock

“Don’t you dare, you have absolutely nothing to apologise for.” His eyes soften as he gazes down at me, “Why didn’t you tell me?” I feel his breath fan over my face as he speaks.

“I didn’t know how, I couldn’t just randomly bring it up in conversation,” talking to someone, was so much easier said than done. And Fred, he was always so cheerful and witty, I didn’t want to bring him down, nor did I want to burden him with my feelings. Feelings that not even I could properly explain, let alone expect someone else to understand.

My gaze drops to his collar, eyes whipping away the few stray tears that I could feel running down my cheeks before I  put the lid back onto my feelings, though before I could even consider it I felt him gently nudge my back.

“Come on,” he urges softly with a short nod towards the door

“Where are we going?” I asked, with a furrowed brow, turning to look at him, my eyes clearly saying what I didn’t trust my voice to ask.

“Outside,” the two syllables were enough to send pure terror into my veins, my heart skipping a beat, my mind firmly against the idea of wandering from the security that my dorm room offered.

“Fred I really don’t-”

“Don’t want to, I know but we’re going to,” brushing some stray strands of  hair back from my face as he smiles down at me with a twinkle in his eye.

“Trust me,” he whispered softly, intertwining his hand with mine. I wanted to say no, part of me wanted to pull my hand away from his and go back to hiding under my duvet, but when I looked into his eyes, I felt my heart swell, knowing in my heart I was going to do what he wanted

~~~~~~~~

Third Person POV 

Y/n couldn’t  remember the last time she went to the lake nor the last time she watched the sunset but she  couldn’t deny the beauty of the scene before her. The sun had set, but the afterglow from the sunset was continuing to flood through the sky. A mixture of ever changing shades of orange and red coloured the sky. It was breathtaking. And for the first time in a long time, Y/n was smiling. It wasn’t a fake smile, it was real and pure. She found herself feeling completely at peace with the world; the tranquility of the scene seeming to momentarily wash away the negativity she’d felt.

“It’s  beautiful,” Y/n breathed.

“I thought you might like it,” Fred cooed, squeezing her hand lightly. It wasn’t until this simple action that she knew she was still holding his hand, that she hadn’t let go of his hand since they were in the common room. The pair stayed like that for a while, watching as the fiery shades of the sky faded into shades of violet.

“Thank you for bringing me here, Freddie,” she whispered, turning around slightly to hug him. 

“ Anytime,” Fred whispered back, his arms wrapping around her waist, hugging her back. When the pair pulled away from the hug slightly, their eyes locked with each others; after a short time Freds eyes wandered down to her lips, his heart was beating so fast he was surprised Y/n couldn’t hear it. He wanted to kiss her. He wanted to show her how much he loved her. They’d always been close, ever since they were children but it wasn’t until last year that he began to fall for her, but he didn’t want to ruin the friendship that they’d had for so long if she didn’t feel the same. But in this moment, he felt a surge of bravery he hadn’t felt before, so he leaned down to kiss her but as he did so, she pulled away. 

“Are you sure?” Y/n asked, the anxiety evident in her voice as her eyes flicked between his lips and his dreamy brown eyes.

“I’ve never been more sure of anything, love.” she couldn’t deny the way her heart fluttered as his soothingly soft voice said those words. He delicately moved his hand to her face, reassuringly caressing her cheek as he closed the gap between the two of them. As soon as his lips touched hers she felt like all time had stopped, instantly reciprocating his actions and kissing him back. A mixture of giddiness and passion erupted in the kiss, their lips moulding  together in perfect synchronisation. A joyful smile was on both of their faces when they pulled away from the kiss, placing their foreheads together. 

“You’re not alone anymore, love. I’m always going to be here for you and I’m always going to love you,” his words were not just a declaration of love, but a promise also. A promise that no matter how dark the days seemed, he was always going to be by her side, whether she needed to cry, scream or just sit in silence, he would be there with her,  he would remind her every day how strong and brilliant she was. And that gave her hope, hope that her darkest days might not be so dark anymore with him at her side.

Tagging those who might be interested: 

@loony-loopy-lupinn​​ @probably-peeves​​ @darthwheezely​​ @whizboingies​​ @xacatapelsyx​​  @sassycatlady99​​ @itstatigallegos​​ @ohmyitsfaith​​ @gcdric

[marvelslut16]

Almost lost him

Pairing: James ‘Rhodey’ Rhodes x Stark!reader 

Synopsis: Tony’s little sister had always had feelings for one James R. Rhodes. She’s kept it a secret for years, but will everything come out after he is injured during the fight against Cap?

word count: 2.4k+

Warnings: Brief cannon violence. Angst. Mentions paralysis. Swearing. Age gap. Also I have a specific age for the character mentioned. 

A/N: This has been sitting in my WIP’s for over a year because I loved it so much and I didn’t want to end it poorly lmao. I know no ones gonna read it since he isn’t a popular character, but oh well. I love this fic and I love Rhodey so that’s all that matters. 

Tony and (Y/N) Stark have saved the world from terrorists once again.

“Can you believe this title?” you laugh showing Rhodey the article on your phone. 

“I was there too,” he says gruffly. 

“You just aren’t special enough,” you tease, sticking your tongue out like you’re five and not thirty-six. 

“Not everyone’s lucky enough to be a Stark,” Tony, your annoying but lovable older brother, enters the compound’s kitchen.

Tony took you under his wing and raised you since your parents died. It was a lot for a twenty-one year old to handle, no one he knew had to take care of an eleven year old. Especially one with newly discovered powers. They weren’t much, but when emotions would get overwhelming you would have white colored beams come from your hands. This later helped Tony come up with the idea for the repulsors on his Iron Man suit, which you helped him build.

As the years passed, you got a better hold on your new found powers. The more you and Tony dug into your parents past, you started to think that your dad had either given you something when you were a baby or your mom was given something while pregnant to make you like this. Your Dad always called you special, but you never thought you were this special.

“Any progress with Steve?” you ask hopefully. You know how much Tony values his friendship with Cap, he just won’t admit it. Especially because he’s hurt. 

“No,” he grunts, but tries to brush it off like he doesn’t care. You and Rhodey give each other unamused looks, clearly not believing the bullshit Tony is trying to feed you.

“I think you should try to reach out to him again, you clearly miss him Tony,” you frown at the dark haired man in front of you.

“I agree with (Y/N/N),” Rhodey speaks up from behind you. He’s closer than you remember, and you shiver as you feel the little licks of his breath on your neck as he speaks. 

“You love birds can shut up now,” Tony rolls his eyes, he leaves the kitchen without anything. 

Heat immediately rushes to your face and you can’t look Rhodey in the eye as you stutter out an apology for Tony’s actions. You quickly leave the kitchen before he can respond, wanting to put distance between your blushing self and the man you had been in love with for years. 

-- 

You had hoped that the conversation in the kitchen would have convinced Tony to reach out and make amends with Steve and half of the Avengers. But things only continued to escalate, where it seemed a battle between friends was unavoidable. So that's how you ended up in Germany, with your newest recruit Spider-Man, facing off against the people you cared most about in this world.

“Rhodey!” you scream as you watch him plummet to the Earth. Time seems to slow to a near standstill and all you can do is watch, too far away from him to be able to help somehow. Your knees buckle and you hit the ground at the same time his body does. There's a scream that’s so loud it rattles the windows of the airport hanger, a scream you weren’t even aware left your own lips. 

Vision tries to approach you, but you let out a sound that's between a sob and a scream as he gets closer. You’re angry, and scared, you can feel a rush of something in your veins. You ball your hands in fists, bringing them to your chest as you curl into yourself. 

The sound of metal crunching together pulls you from your rocking back and forth on your knees. You see a white glow, one that you're extremely familiar with, dissipating from around two shipping containers, now crushed together where vision was hovering. If he had stayed solid, he would have been crushed. You’re shaking even more as you stare down at your hands, you had never been able to move objects before. You could have hurt somebody. You can’t dwell on it too long because Peter runs to your side, telling you that Rhodey had a heartbeat and help was on the way. 

It had felt like hours since Tony, Peter, and you had landed back down in the states. Dr. Cho was working with a spine specialist and a neurosurgeon to figure out the extent of the damage. After a while, they had updated you three, telling you that Rhodey broke his spine and they were taking him into surgery. Tony had left to go fiddle with one of his suits, his coping mechanism. He left the kid with you because he didn’t want you alone. 

“How did you two meet?” Peter breaks the silence.

“Hmm?” you look away from the painting in front of you for the first time since you sat in the waiting room chair, to look at the boy. 

“Mr. Rhodes, how did you two meet?” he clarifies. 

“That’s a long story,” your eyes glaze over as memories start to come flooding back.

“I have time,” Peter gives you a small smile, you can really see what Tony see’s in the kid. The kindness that his Aunt May has taught him is abundantly clear, you know he’s only asking for your benefit.

“He met Tony when they went to MIT together, he somehow found a way to put up with my brother's antics. I didn’t meet him until two years after Tony graduated, so I was eleven,” you let out a little laugh as you realize just how long the older man has been in your life, and in your heart. “He came to my parents funeral for support for Tony, but he became my support system. Everyone seemed to ignore me and go straight for the golden boy, but Tony became too overwhelmed quickly. He introduced me to Rhodey who was the first one, besides Tony of course, to ask me how I was. He ended up spending the entire wake and funeral with me, giving me support and effectively distracting me from my pain.”

You look over at the younger boy, who seems to be staring at you with fascination. He sees the pain on your face when you stop talking, reaching over he grabs your hand loosely. Testing the waters to see if you’ll pull away from affection like Tony has with him. You give him a thankful smile and hold his hand before continuing your story.

“He joined the military not long after that. At first I would send him care packages and letters so he didn’t feel alone when he was deployed. One day when I was writing a letter one of Tony’s flings came into the kitchen and called me a pathetic child because I was crushing on Tony’s friend after I explained what I was doing. He never got that letter, or any after that. We didn’t really talk much after that, if he came to visit Tony I’d be pleasant before locking myself in my room. I guess I was embarrassed over my school girl crush. Years passed, lots of years, before Tony went missing, James was the one that told me what happened. And in those following months he would rarely leave my side, he wanted to make sure I was okay. We were finally both adults, and we gained a real friendship.” 

“That sounds like more than a friendship,” Peter sends you an innocent look. You furrow your eyebrows at him in response, Rhodey definitely doesn’t like you back. “I’m just saying, if Liz was like that with me I would be ecstatic that she liked me back.”

“He sees me as a little sister, Peter,” your heart breaking a little more knowing that you’ll never be able to be with the man you’ve loved for years. Before Peter can refute you, Rhodey’s Neurosurgeon walks into the waiting room- some guy named Dr. Strange. 

“How is he?” you jump out of your seat, Peter quickly following suit, his hand falling from yours at the movement. 

“He’s out of surgery Miss. Stark,” his voice coming out as cocky and full of himself, like he’s overly proud that he did this surgery. “But the recovery will be the difficult part.”

“What happened? What’s still wrong? And when can I see him?” you’re shooting out questions faster than the surgeon can answer.

“I’m not at liberty to discuss that with you Miss. Stark, and you can’t see him until he’s out of the ICU,” the smug look is still on the surgeon's face, making you grow angrier with each word that leaves his mouth. 

“Excuse me?” Peter looks between you and the surgeon with wide curious eyes. 

“You aren’t family,” he states matter-of-factly. “Therefore I can’t tell you and you can’t see him.”

Your eye twitches in anger as your body starts to warm, your powers start to react to the strong emotion. You take a deep calming breath, keeping you from accidentally lashing out at the surgeon. 

“I suggest you rethink that answer,” you say deathly calm, Peter stares at you in awe as you talk back to the man. “And consider who paid for all of the new state-of-the-art Stark technology and equipment you have in this hospital. Things I’m sure that you used in that surgery, that I donated to this hospital through the outreach program that I created. Technology created by both me and my brother.”

“Is there a problem here?” a man’s voice comes from behind you, he sounds irritated that someone’s making a scene. You turn around to face the man, who is wearing a badge that says medical director on it. Perfect. His eyes widen as soon as he recognizes who you are. 

“Actually there is,” you frown. “My colleague, my friend. My favorite person after my brother really, he just had a pretty big surgery, but your surgeon here won’t tell me any details or let me go see him. So yes, we have a huge problem.”

“I’m so sorry Miss. Stark,” he exclaims. “Why don’t we go update you in private.” 

“Did I sound like a bitch?” you frown, whispering to Peter as the two of you follow the MD and the surgeon. He nods a little with a smirk adorning his face. 

“But it was awesome!” you grin at the young boy, remembering the excitement you felt when you saw Tony use his name to get what he wanted for the first time. 

“He’s paralyzed,” the surgeon throws the statement around like it isn’t a big deal as soon as the four of you enter a separate room. “From the waist down. There was nothing we could do.”

Your heart and your lungs seem to stop working at the same time. Peter discreetly uses his super strength to catch you as your legs give out at the surgeon's words. Tears start to pour down your face as you realize all of the things Rhodey will never be able to again. Like never being able to help defend his country again, or chase after you when you steal the last cookie that he wanted. 

You can’t help but feel guilty. If he had never met you and Tony he would be fine. He would still be able to do what he loves. He never would have been put in that situation. He’ll never be able to walk again. He won’t have the opportunity to dance at his wedding or chase his children around if he decided to have either of those. 

“I know it’s a lot Miss. Stark,” the MD’s voice is muffled. “But there was nothing we could have done-”

“When can I see him?” you cut the doctor off. 

“I could take you to him now,” he glares at the surgeon. “He won’t wake for at least a few more hours.”

“Peter, go call Tony and tell him the update,” you look at the young boy, he gives your hand a reassuring squeeze before heading back to the waiting room. 

The surgeon and the MD both ramble on about Rhodey’s condition but their voices sound muffled- like you’re underwater. You feel like you're suffocating in all the pain and grief you feel for the love of your life. He’s lying on the bed, oxygen tubing up his nose, at least ten wires connected to him, and the disgusting beep of his heart monitor reminds you how lucky you are that he’s still here with you. 

The two men quickly leave you with Rhodey, but not before the MD promises that he’ll be under constant supervision and he’ll receive the best treatments they offer. Not that you're shocked to hear that with the scene you cause in the waiting room. You grab Rhodey’s hand, careful to avoid yanking the IV in it, pulling his hand up to your mouth to give it a feather light kiss. Tears slip down your cheeks as you stare at his still body, you were so close to losing him today. 

The tears have stopped by the time Tony shows up close to an hour later, he had dropped Peter off at home before coming up to the hospital room. Your older brother looks as distressed as you feel, although he seems to be tryin to hide it more than you are. 

“How is he?” his voice is quieter than you imagined, like he’s afraid any louder will make you crumble. 

“Stable,” your voice is monotonous, and you refuse to tear your eye’s from Rhodey’s face as you respond to Tony. “About as good as he could be I guess.”

“How are you?” he cuts you off as you go to respond that you're fine. “And don’t bullshit me (Y/N/N), you’ve been in love with him since you were eleven. How are you feeling?”

You don’t respond, not with words at least. Instead you do crumble, letting out a quiet sob as you grip Tony’s hand that he was about to place on your shoulder. Tony runs his free hand through your hair and down your back, trying to soothe you like he used to when you would have nightmares after your parents deaths. 

“We almost lost him today Tony, I almost lost him-” another sob racks through your body. “And now he’s paralyzed. He can never walk again, can never defend his Country again. And for what? A disagreement between you and Steve? We could have lost him Tony for something so fucking stupid.”

Before Tony can respond, a muffled voice breaks through the tension in the room. The voice is gravely, but one you love so dearly, it’s Rhodey’s. “(Y/N)?”

Permeant tags: @crimson-knuckled-queen​ @rexorangecouny @mrs-malfoy-always​

[pertinax--loculos]

Absent That Night -- Excerpt

In which Latrell takes the opportunity to conduct his own thread of investigation. OR Meet Zaide guys help i accidentally made myself a new favourite character ahaha D: Wordcount: 1297 CW: smoking, cursing, vague threats I suppose? (I’m not great at these, let me know if I’m missing anything oops.) *** Gun on his hip, underneath the untucked shirt. Latrell held his breath as the man stalked past his hiding spot, but his heavy-lidded eyes never moved Latrell’s way. His gaze was fixed ahead. Purposeful.

And walking out of the Warren? Definitely Associate.

Latrell waited until the man was a decent distance past him, then stepped out of the storage room and raised his voice. “Trouble you for a moment of your time?”

The Associate spun, hand going to his waist. Latrell’s breath caught sticky in his throat, but he stayed still, hands open by his sides, expression neutral. He let the stranger examine him, saw the once-over make his conclusion jump to agent, then exhaled slowly as the Associate’s hand dropped smoothly from his holster. He continued the movement to cross his arms, eyebrows lowering a fraction.

“Anything I can do for our vaunted Law Enforcement Agency,” he said.

The amenability was unexpected, but not strictly speaking surprising. The reason the Association maintained its stranglehold on the city was its ability to outfox any and all forms of justice, and acting cooperative — and ignorant — was the easiest way to do that. Particularly when an individual was stopped on the street for no apparent reason.

Latrell gave himself a second to breathe, and fashioned his tone into remote professionalism. Let just a touch of nerves filter through, emphasise his discomfort and hopefully the implication he wasn’t altogether experienced. “I’ve been sent to do some research into a suspect our Homicide Division is looking into. I was hoping you might know of him. Man calls himself Nox?”

The Associate’s features slid into a smile. It didn’t reach his eyes. “Got you out doing busywork, huh?”

“I go wherever they ask me too,” Latrell said, stiffly. He paired it with the slightest jut of his chin.

The Associate stepped forward, slow, nonthreatening. Latrell tensed anyway, only partly out of commitment to his charade.

“Yes, well, obedience is key in your line of work.” There was the slightest twinge of an accent in the man’s voice, maybe foreign, maybe just from a city far away from the one they were now in. Latrell didn’t have a good enough ear to tell. “Let you in on a secret, though — either your bosses are hazing you, or they want you dead.”

If Latrell actually had been a green agent, the words would’ve been extremely effective. Even as it was, he felt his stomach drop with the finality of the statement, a curl of dread accompanying the rush of adrenaline to his veins.

But experience let him keep his expression dispassionate, and his questioning on track. “So you do know of this Nox person?”

One of the Associate’s brows lifted. He’d thrown him. Good. Though his voice was still smooth when he said, “Of course. Everybody knows of Nox.”

Latrell waited. Realised that might provide too much insight into his actual identity, and prompted, “And?”

“From what I hear?” The Associate’s smile returned. It was not a comforting expression. “He’s a bit of a… freak.”

Latrell’s skin prickled. The word didn’t seem candid as much as carefully chosen. All implications and connotations included.

He kept his voice even when he said, “Care to elaborate?”

The Associate shrugged, uncrossing his arms in the same movement. “I mean, nobody really knows him. Just rumours, mostly.”

“I thought all you people knew each other.”

“We do.” The smile returned, and Latrell finally pinned down what was so discomforting about it; it was cultivated, like a copy of an expression the Associate had only seen, practised in the mirror. Or a twist of features brought about by the strings of a marionette. He’d never wanted the comforting weight of his handgun against his shoulder more. “Which is probably why nobody really knows much about Nox. He’s not an Associate.”

Latrell lifted his eyebrows. “Come again?”

It was a theory he’d bandied about, of course, something he’d even considered likely. But to have it confirmed — and by an Associate who, he was more and more convinced with every passing moment, had to be in the upper echelons of the organisation — was something else. That made it fact. That made it real.

That made it evidence.

“Someone like Nox…” The Associate held up one hand a little, palm out, as he fished in his back pocket with the other. It didn’t stop Latrell tensing, and the tension didn’t ease until the stranger flipped open the thin, square case he’d retrieved and revealed a neat line of cigarettes. He placed one between his canines, spoke as he swapped the shiny case for a lighter. “…you don’t invite him into a brotherhood like ours. Too risky.”

“How so?” The words fell out of Latrell’s mouth without consideration, transfixed as he was by the flickering flame of the Associate’s lighter, the glowing coal that flared at the tip of his cigarette, the stream of smoke that dissipated into the damp air as he exhaled between his teeth.

“He’s got a history,” the Associate said between drags, as if that was all the explanation necessary.

It wasn’t, but Latrell wasn’t inclined to push. He also was less and less inclined to spend much longer around this man.

But he did have one more question.

“So why is it that you work with him?”

The wires twitched the smile back onto the man’s face. “Unfortunately, he’s very good at what he does. Even if he seems to have developed a taste for blood recently.” Drag, pause, exhale. In a mutter: “About time he did something interesting.” Then, finally, back to Latrell; “And he has very high-powered friends.”

Latrell dropped his green-agent facade entirely. He wasn’t convinced that the Associate had been fooled to begin with, and he rather thought it would put him in less danger. “The Marks.”

The Associate tapped ash off the end of his cigarette, wires pulling taught enough to bare his teeth. “The Marks.”

Questions rushed to Latrell’s mind; why do you call them friends and how many of them does he know and how many of them are there? But he beat them all back. Ice prickled beneath the dampness of his jacket, and something about the Associate’s languorous gaze increasingly made him feel although he was standing in crosshairs.

“I appreciate your cooperation.” He thought about stepping back, but doing so would take him further away from his escape route, the retreat back to no-man’s-land which necessitated walking past the Associate.

“Oh, any time.” The man placed the cigarette back between his teeth as he pulled out a sleek black phone; his eyes finally dropped from Latrell as he moved towards the warehouse that bordered the Warren. “I wish you luck on your assignment.”

He couldn’t know that Latrell was not actually on any assignment. It sure sounded like he did.

“Thanks,” he said as he started forward, hugging the building opposite, keeping as much distance as possible between them in the narrow valley carved by the railway lines.

He’d just started to relax, his stride lengthening into a more comfortable rhythm, when the Associate called out to him.

“Oh, and Agent?”

Latrell glanced over his shoulder, slowing a little. He didn’t stop, couldn’t quite convince his feet to do so.

Whatever puppeteer controlled the Associate’s face manipulated the wires into a grave expression. But one failed at the corner of the Associate’s mouth, and it curved up just a fraction.

“I wouldn’t recommend working with people you don’t know. Perhaps next time, you should investigate them first.”

Latrell’s heart tripped, faltered, picked up from its stumble at a racing pace. Surely the slam of it against his breastbone would be audible across the distance between them.

He managed a nod — stiff, jerky, not at all convincing — before he turned tail and fled.

[pretend-writer]

Down Below (Chapter 70)

Summary: After being sent down on Earth with the other prisoners from the Ark, Y/N Reyes faces series of events and learns about survival. With new things happening around her, she is now starting a new chapter in her life.

Pairing: Bellamy Blake x reader, John Murphy x reader, Raven Reyes x sister!reader

Word Count: 2.2k words

Warning: swearing, injuries

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As I opened my eyes, I felt a massive headache as if I had too much to drink the night before. Not to mention the body ache from the force field I ran into was still there.

Clarke still chained, she noticed I woke up. 'Surprised you went to sleep, looked like you had a good nap.'

'Yeah.' I've tried to think of a good memory while I fought off the thoughts in my head. Moments with John that we had before we were locked in the skybox, the times I spent with Raven. Bellamy crossed my mind occasionally too; Even the Red Sun didn't help me forget about him.

She stared at me, 'Are you mad at me about something?'

'I'm sorry I'm a bit tired from fighting off the Red Sun, Clarke. I totally forgot to start an argument about how you love to abandon your people.'

It was out of pocket I know; Monty promised us to be better, to restore our humanity back. I knew out of everyone, I had a lot of work to do. Having Clarke beside me didn't make it any better, she continued to betray her family. I was a monster but at least I had Wonkru's back.

Clarke rolled her eyes and sighed, 'Shouldn't have asked.'

'Thought you knew by now.' I left a remark before I tossed her her keys to her chain. She threw mine back at me and I unchained myself from the wall.

Then I remembered the encounter I had with John before I came back; leaving Clarke by herself, I instantly rushing to the pond right outside the castle. I squeezed through the crowd of people, they weren't our people but my mind was too busy I didn't care. I eventually got to the middle of the crowd that was surrounding Bellamy and John.

My eyes widened as I saw John laying unconsciously, black veins popping out of his pale skin. I kneeled next to him, caressing his cheek and hoping that he'd wake up soon. 'W-what happened?'

'I don't know, I just woke up next to him like this.' Bellamy panicked, barely getting the words out of his mouth.

'Maybe I can help.' A deep voice came from behind me. It was a man with fancy clothes walking this way. 'We have something that can revive him.'

'Re-revive? So he's dead?' My mind went blank as I stared at this man. There were so many thoughts running through my head. Who were these people and can I trust them? Can I really believe that John was dead?

Another man followed behind this fancy man, he seemed to be the doctor. As he pulled out a snake from inside his bag, he kneeled next to me. 'May I?'

My heart thumped fast, scared that I might of lost John for good. I didn't know who these people were but I had no other choice; It was better than not helping him at all.

'Please, help him.' I begged, taking a step back from him to give these people some space.

Watching John breathless and unconscious killed me; I think that this was when I realized I really loved him.

It hurt to think that I would spend the days without him, not only did I love him but he was my best friend. He was with me through everything, beginning with the days when we were up in the Ark to literally yesterday when he helped me through The Red Sun.

I needed him with me. The man pulled out a rather large orange snake from his bag, putting it closer to Murphy. The snake rattled, showing its sharp teeth as it slowly crawled onto his skin.

From the moment the snake touched him, the black veins disappeared and eventually left John's skin unmarked. The snake actually worked, I thought to myself.

Murphy inhaled, coughing as he tried to catch his breath. He became somewhat conscious but he wasn't opening his eyes. All that mattered at this moment was that he was alive again.

'John, oh my-' I caressed his face, kissing his cheek over and over again. Happy tears rolled down my eyes, so relieved that I didn't lose him.

'If you don't mind, I would like to speak with you all inside. I'll have my people bring this gentleman in.' The man with the fancy outfit asked.

I nodded my head, getting up as I smiled at him. 'Yes, of course. Thank you for saving him.'

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'So what's the plan?' Clarke asked, her arms crossed as we stood in a circle.

'Make sure you don't talk for starters.' I joked but was half way serious. 'Last time around, you sided with the fucking psychopath and nearly got us killed.'

'Oh, I don't remember siding with you Skafaiya.' She commented back. She was lucky that side of me was gone, otherwise she would've been stabbed on her foot before she could say "Madi."

I looked over at her and flashed a sarcastic smile. 'Every time you're involved, something backfires. You're the reason why Earth is gone.'

'No, you and Octavi-'

'Guys, guys.' Echo stood between us, 'We have to make sure we know what we're talking about before these people show up.'

'She's right, we have to make sure they like us enough to take us in.' Shaw agreed with Echo.

Emori chuckled. 'After hearing everything that we've done, I hardly believe that's going to happen.'

Bellamy rolled his eyes. 'This is our one and only chance. Let's be on our best behavior, alright?'

Looking over at John, I watched him lying on the bed that the people prepared for him. He seemed fine but the fear of him not coming back didn't leave my mind. I already had Marcus that was severely injured that may not survive, I couldn't lose John too.

The man who seemed like the leader type walked in, the same man that offered to help John. With him came a bunch of people, most likely body guards of some sort.

'So what brings you guys here to my palace?'

I stepped in, scratching my head as I felt nervous. 'Well, we came from Earth and then we found this place after being in cryo for years. We landed and we were looking around to see if it’s habitable. Then we stumbled upon this place and well, you know the rest.'

'Earth? Wow. I haven't heard about Earth in ages.' The man smiled, 'The name is Russell and I can try to make arrangements for you all to stay. I'd first like to have a meeting to get to know you all better.'

'Before that sir, there's something you might want to know.’ Clarke stepped up, scratching her head as she let out a nervous laugh. ‘We aren’t the only ones that landed out here.’

'How many of you are out there?'

She sighed, 'Over 200.'

Russell let out a breath. 'We can't take that many, we don't even know if we can take you guys in. For all we know, you could be criminals escaping Earth.'

'Ha, that'll be crazy right?' Shaw commented sarcastically, scooting near me as Russell looked over at him.

'Can we perhaps talk to our people back in our ship, see what we can do.' I added. It was nice that they were offering their own place but who knows what these people are. Last time we landed on someone's territory, people died.

He nodded, agreeing to what I had offered. 'I don't see why not. While you guys do that, I can maybe show some of you around Sanctum. Worst thing that can happen is that we become neighbors, right?'

Bellamy stepped in, smiling to convince the man. 'That sounds like a great idea, I'll take a few with me back to the ship.'

I walked over to Clarke, whispered in her ear to make sure she heard me but no one else did. 'You guys make sure we're not dealing with psychos.'

'That's what they're probably saying about you.' Clarke made a snarky comment. I chose to ignore, I was tired of her judgement when she had no room to talk. 'Why do I have to do it?'

'Because I need to go back and make sure Marcus is okay. Is that a problem? Or are you tempted to blow this place up as well?'

Clarke rolled her eyes, 'What about Murphy?'

'John seems like he's getting better, besides I know Emori won't let anyone mess with him so I feel safer going back to the ship.'

'Okay, go do what you got to do.'

Turning to Bellamy, I tapped him on his forearm. 'I'm ready to go.'

Bellamy looked over at Murphy, then back to me. 'What about him?'

'What about him?' I asked back, replying back with a bit of pettiness. There was no need to ask about my relationship between me and John. He lost the right to know when he decided to betray me.

He got the hint as he bit his lip and looked down on the ground. It's been a while since I've saw him sad and guilty, the last time I did was when he thought Pike had executed me.

Walking pass him and out the door back outside, I prepared for another yet long walk back to our ship.

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Going back to the ship felt like forever. My body was in pain from the force field and not to mention my leg wasn't completely healed from when I got shot by McCreary's men back at the gorge. It didn't also help that the people I was walking with were Bellamy and Echo.

I tried to put my distance between the two of them, sticking next to Shaw as much as I can as we trailed from behind. They would mumble something amongst each other as well but I had to pretend that I didn't give a shit. I hated that I was curious about what they were talking about.

Bellamy then stopped, waiting for me to catch up to them as he eventually started walking next to me. Reading the signs, Shaw caught up with Echo, walking next to her this time.

What Shaw didn't do was read my sign, giving him the signal with my eyes that I didn't want to be left alone with Bellamy. But as polite as he was, he gave us some space.

'Reyes, I really am sorry.'

'Do you remember the conversations we had when we lived at the drop ship?'

'Of course I do.'

I sighed, 'Do you? Because I'm sick and tired of hearing your apologies. That's all I've told to you when we first met and now you're doing it all over again.'

'Tell me what I should do then. Tell me how I can be better.'

'There isn't anything you can do. It's done.'

'I don't believe that it is.'

'It's not just the kiss that I'm upset about, Blake.'

He reached for my arm, pulling me to stop me from walking. Bellamy looked me in the eyes, 'Then what is it?'

'No, I shouldn't have to spell it out for you.'

'Well, I need to know to fix what I've done wrong. That's how much I care to make this right.'

A chuckle escaped my mouth, 'You know. If you really cared from the beginning, we wouldn't be in this mess.'

His brow raised, licking his lips before he said what he said. 'You don't have any room to talk, Skafaiya.'

My nose flared, anger coming out of me. With instant instinct, I shoved Bellamy but of course he didn't budge. 'You want to get back with me and you say this type of shit, Bellamy. That's what's wrong with you.'

'You're telling me-'

Instantly cutting him off, I practically shouted at him. 'No. You want to know the difference between you and John? He doesn't judge me and the mistakes that I've made. Despite all the things I've done, he understands that I am me. He loves me for who I really am.'

Bellamy swallowed the lump in his throat, staring at me like a sad, lost puppy. I knew that he hated John, especially because of the close relationship I had with him again. But this was probably the only way he will get a proper idea in his head.

'I've never brought up your past mistakes that you've made. With that, I still loved you because in the end, I knew who you really were. I knew that the things you've done wasn't the real you, it was just a mistake that you had to learn from. So don't give me that bullshit, Blake. Stop being a fucking hypocrite.'

I took a deep breath, mostly to keep myself controlled so I wouldn't cry. I didn't want to hear another word from him, I was tired of crying and explaining myself to him. Walking in a faster pace, I left him behind by himself, catching up with Shaw and Echo. I'm pretty sure they heard all of our conversation but I was too hurt to even care. I didn't know what to do with him anymore.

[shra-vasti]

MAKES ME WONDER [4/40] The Escape

→ Synopsis : Your dream to attend a Seventeen concert was finally coming true but you weren't prepared for the events that were going to follow after Joshua made eye contact with you and chose to make you his partner for the mini game and take you out on a date as a winning prize.

→ Genre : fluff, slice of life

→ Type : Idol x fan au

→ Word count : 1.9k

→ Taglist : @mngyuheart @vannie24 @uglyratlmao @rjsmochii @dwcljh @noniesgirl (let me know if you want to be added to the taglist)

→ Pairing : idol!Joshua x fan!reader

→ Main Seventeen Masterlist

→ Makes Me Wonder Masterlist

You started walking towards where Joshua was standing, his back facing you as the cameraman told you to start. You stopped when you reached a proper distance and politely called him just the way the cameraman explained you to. 

He turned around shyly smiling at you as he bowed and you did the same following his lead. 

"You look good."

He smiled at you nodding his head unlike earlier when he just showered you with how beautiful you look. 

"Thanks, but I can't compare to you, you always look really good with or without makeup."

Joshua wanted to laugh at how the conversation was going, it felt so foreign, he had to bite back his smile to not appear too happy with your company although he was aching to scream just how alive he was feeling in your presence. 

"No no, all the carats are really beautiful, I hope you're ready for our date."

"Yes yes please lead the way." 

You were a shy person but the cameraman had asked you to be really flustered all the time and behave exaggeratedly everytime he did something and you wondered if they asked every fan to do this since you always see the other carats being so flustered in their presence. 

The cameraman had told that you were exceptionally calm about all this date thing and that you had to act flustered around him to which you reluctantly agreed. Maybe it was just you. 

Joshua opened the cafe's door for you like the gentlemen he was and you thanked him shyly before going past him to choose a seat. 

You chose a seat which was near the door, there weren't many people in the cafe since it was booked prior for the date. 

The waiter came asking what you wanted to order and both of you gave him the orders before turning towards each other to talk about things till the time your order came. 

"So y/n what's your favorite seventeen song?" 

"Ah this one is hard, I love all of the songs but vocal units songs hold a special place in my heart."

He grinned widely at your answer, feeling a sense of pride that he was a part of the vocal unit and somehow finding relief in the fact that you indirectly hold a special place for him in your heart. 

He mentally cringed at his own thoughts. 

"Is that so? Who's your favorite member then?" 

He didn't know why he was feeling so edgy about your answer, he could see your ears getting red as you fidgeted with your fingers. 

"I really adore BooSeokSoon."

You look up to see his face being an epitome of disappointment as he looked sharply at you before laughing at you. He wanted to keep being bitter about your favorite member being on the gag trio but he remembered that he was being filmed so he couldn't be as free with you. 

"Which is your favorite unit?" 

"Hiphop unit of course, they are so cool and they always have some of the most inspiring and savage lyrics to jam on."

He narrowed his eyes at you again not feeling happy with your answer and you just laughed. 

"I see you're a fan of the Hip hop unit, what about your favorite song to dance to since you're so good at dancing? Is it rocket?" 

"No it's swimming fool, the song gives me a different sort of adrenaline rush and I can't do anything but feel happy when it's on."

"Yah, you say you adore the vocal unit but your favorite members are Seokmin, Soonyoung and Seungkwan but then you say your favorite unit is hip hop but your go to song is swimming fool which is of the performance unit."

You just laughed at him, pausing for a second since your drinks were being served. 

"Shall I tell you a secret?" 

You whispered him but loud enough so it would get caught in the mic attached on your shirt. 

"What is it?" 

"You can't choose a bias in Seventeen, it's either take all or none, seriously, I want to give standing ovations to each of the carats who only have one bias in Seventeen."

The laugh which escaped his lips after that was like music to your ears and you couldn't help but be proud of yourself for being the reason behind it, you actually wanted to make him laugh more. 

"I feel bad for the carats then but happy at the same time."

You just smiled at him finishing up your drink when the cameraman informed you two have a 10 minutes break before continuing the filming again. 

"I'm so proud of you, you are doing great."

"Is that so? I'm really nervous though, I'm glad that I don't have to be surrounded by the cameras all day, I feel bad for you guys sometimes."

Joshua smiled at you but it didn't reach his eyes like it did, it was almost as if he was agreeing with you that it was indeed hard to be surrounded by cameras all the time. 

"Sometimes I feel jealous of others who live their life the way they want but I kind of signed myself up for this so I can't complain plus I love being with the boys and I love that we can be the inspiration for so many carats out there."

He wasn't sure why he was telling all of these things to you, he needed to be happy in front of his fans all the time but he didn't feel obligated to do so in your presence which eased him up and at the same time burdened him too. 

You were just a fan, this date was all a setup, nothing was real and he wouldn't see you ever after this or spend time with you the same but he still felt as if he wasn't doing anything wrong talking about his tension with you. 

You reached your hand to pat his which was on the table and give it a little squeeze, smiling a little at him. 

"It's hard and I'm so proud that you have come this far and not given up."

"I'm happy that I didn't give up too, otherwise how would I have met you?" 

You felt blush rise up on your cheeks again at his remark and he couldn't help but feel his heart doing weird things looking at you. 

He leaned back on his chair, looking at the ceiling before looking back at you. 

"I do wish I could have just one day where I could live life as freely as possible, it's just an impossible dream but I want to if I could."

You weren't sure if you would sound creepy or crazy but you couldn't help yourself and playfully suggested the first thought that came into your mind after hearing his wish. 

"Why don't we do that then? Let's escape."

He looked at you, eyebrows creased without saying anything, he looked like he was contemplating. 

"Let's do it."

You straightened your back as soon as those three words left his mouth. Was he serious about it? You suggested it to him in a playful manner. 

"What if you get punishment for it later? The last thing I want is for you to go through any rough time because of this."

You looked in the direction of the cameraman and his assistants who were busy going through the clip which both of you had filmed earlier. 

"Well it would be adventurous and I don't mind getting a handful of scolding in return of my wish, I would be smiling from ears to ears even if I'll get the scolding."

The excited look which he wore on his face was enough for you to oblige to this mundane idea, you wanted to see him happy and if you had to help him for that, you didn't mind getting into trouble, at least you would be happy to make his wish come true.

"Okay, if that's what you want, let's do it."

He smiled widely before getting in the stance of running before you stopped him. 

"On the count of three and we will make a run towards the left side of this cafe since I know some small streets which will lead us to a different part of this city and others won't be able to track us down for a while."

He nodded his head at you already feeling the adrenaline running in his veins way too exciting. 

"One, two, three, run."

He took one look at the busy cameraman and his assistant before holding your hand and making a run outside of the cafe and into his one day freedom.

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"What do you mean by he ran away from the filming set with his fan?" 

Seungkwan heard his manager yell behind the door as he motioned the rest of the members to come towards him and listen to the conversation going on behind the door. 

"So you want to say he was talking with that fan and you were busy monitoring the clip and then when you went to explain to them about the further scene they disappeared and you tried looking for them but no one could find him or the fan?" 

The members looked at each other, their eyes widened unable to believe what they heard was true. 

"What am I going to tell PDnim? Of course I'm not going to tell him about this, he will cut my head off this isn't funny, he doesn't even has his phone with him, I know he'll be back all we can do is just wait, but I swear will give him an earful when he returns, I didn't expect this from him."

There was a long pause as the members exchanged looks with each other worriedly, what was going inside Joshua's mind to run away like that? Didn't he care about his image? Sometimes they couldn't understand their own member's antics. 

"I won't let this matter go up to PDnim, let's just tell him that we only shoot a short clip for the documentary because we were going to show a very little part of the date so it wasn't necessary for them to have a long date."

The door opened as all of the members stumbled inside the room and onto each other. 

"Yah Boo Seungkwan get off me!"

"Sorry Jeonghan Hyung but Jun Hyung is on top of me I can't."

"Lee Seokmin stop kicking my face!"

"I'm sorry I'm just trying to get up."

The manager just sighed before helping the members up, giving them a tired look as they waited for him to say anything. 

"Joshua ran away from the cafe he was supposed to have a date with the fan but both of them ran away and now everything is just a mess, he doesn't have his phone with him so we can't contact him, I know he'll come back soon but I'm going to scold him, he's one of the eldest he should be responsible and Seungcheol I want you to talk with him about this too."

"What goes inside his mind?" Seungcheol mumbled massaging his head, all of this information already giving him a headache. 

"If I was in his place I would have run away with her too, she's beautiful."

Everyone just glared at Seokmin who suddenly found a newfound interest in his shoes. 

"Let's just ask him about his adventure when he comes back, we all know he may have taken the chance to ease up his mind a bit, Joshua is responsible so he wouldn't do anything to ruin the group's image, let's go and relax,we don't get such free time frequently."

Everyone nodded their head at Jeonghan's word, retreating back to their respective rooms. 

[geekgirles]

Look Me in the Eye

Whelp, it’s officially Novmeber 27th here where I live, so... HAPPY BIRTHDAY @tipolover22!!!! LOVE YA TO BITS AND I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS LITTLE SOMETHING!

READ ON AO3

“A retelling of ‘Eye’ll Be Watching You’ set in the Betrothed AU.”

It all started just like any other day. Poppy was showing Branch around her kingdom as she promised to do once she learned that, apparently, her father had only shown her husband what he’d seen fit for his plans and training. In other words, only anything that could be related to safety procedures. Everything else had been temporarily shut down until her subjects were in the advanced stages of their training.

But now the time had finally come. Her people were almost ready to defend themselves without the prince and his men’s help. And now that they had finally become two sickening sweethearts —like she’d always dreamed of being with whoever troll she’d end up marrying—, it was high time her dear husband learned of the wildest side of Rainbow troll fun.

At first Branch was hesitant. Whatever Poppy had planned had planted the seed of doubt deep inside his chest. In all fairness, it could have very well been because she refused to tell him what it was since it was a surprise. And while his adorable wife was incredibly thoughtful and a master at surprising people, he still did not like surprises.

Only when he was the one giving them.

And 9 out of 10 times when it was Poppy he was trying to surprise.

When they finally made it to the course race of the Flyer Riding event, his mind was conflicted. On the one hand, he could feel the anxiety spiking in his heart because Flyer Riding could be extremely dangerous if one didn’t have the proper safety equipment, which of course the Rainbow Trolls, being easy-going, fun-loving creatures, did not have. And on the other, those bugs were very promising steeds their subjects could use since there weren’t many hummingbirds in the Valley.

Hummingbirds had to be the only friendly critter that was scarcer in the Valley than in the Forest.

Despite his —countless— worries, everything seemed to be going alright. After all, as unexpected as it was to a Forest troll, Rainbow trolls were seasoned pilots when it came to Flyer Bugs. Poppy even made a point to remind him that too much safety could be smothering before flying off with her very own steed.

For a few, glorious minutes Branch couldn’t do anything else but gaze lovingly at the pink beauty he married. There she was, flying with a confidence and ease most of his soldiers would’ve been envious of when they were learning to fly their hummingbirds. And she did it so beautifully, too. The wind caressed her silky, magenta locks as it carried the melodious sound of her laughter, and for a moment, he was jealous of the wind. The sun hit her skin just right, giving it a rich pink hue. And her face was the pure definition of excitement. Just from a glance, one could feel the adrenaline coursing through their own veins, very much like she was experiencing at the moment.

Yeah, that gorgeous, brave and charming princess was his wife, and he didn’t know what he’d do if he lost her.

But, of course, he had to jinx himself.

Everything happened so fast he barely had time to register it.

At the same time as Poppy was trying one of her signature moves she’d learned a few summers ago from Vanessa Heitz, Aspen Heitz’s late sister, Suki, who was on her free day, collided with her in a moment of uncharacteristic irresponsibility. And while Suki managed to regain balance on her bug, Poppy wasn’t so lucky. She plummeted to the ground, her terrified screams promising to hunt Branch in his nightmares until his last breath. But the second most terrifying thing was that Branch could only watch as it all happened right before his very eyes, the scene before him so shocking it paralysed him completely.

But the most terrifying thing was, without a doubt, the few agonising moments where he thought he’d lost his wife forever. As she fell, he could see his entire life flash before his eyes. It was said that such thing could only happen to the person whose life was in danger, but in all honesty, if Poppy didn’t make it, Branch’s own life was as well as over.

His heart was pumping so wildly it could’ve shot off of his chest at any time. Dread overflowing him, he hastily peaked his head from the cliff he stood from to catch a glance of his wife, “Poppy!” he cried.

From his vantage point he could see a mass of trolls circling around Poppy’s form. Her eyes were close, and he begged to all things above him that she was just unconscious. With dread as his only motivation, he strode down to where his wife lay, kneeling by her side, her hand in his, “Somebody call Doctor Plum Plimsy, quick!”

The trolls around him could only gasp in astonishment. In all the months the Forest Prince had lived with them, his voice had never hold such fear. The pain inside him so overwhelming it manifested in the form of his breaking voice. It was such a stark contrast to the stoic, collected leader who worked so well under pressure they’d come to know, that it rendered them speechless. And to Branch’s frustration, motionless.

“Are you deaf?! We need Dr Plimsy, pronto!” he bellowed.

“Branch, she’s with me! She’s here!” Smidge said. True to her word, the purple troll with band-aits adorning her neon green hair was right behind her.

Dr Plimsy kneeled down beside Poppy, opposite from the princess’ distressed husband. “Your Highness, please, if you would be so kind to tell me what happened.”

“Poppy was riding her Flyer Bug when she collided with Suki. She lost control of her steed and came plummeting to the ground, hitting a few leaves and branches in the process.” He recounted, his hand never letting go of Poppy’s. “Please, Dr, will she be OK?”

The purple troll took a deep breath, “I must figure out what the trouble is first, Your Highness.” She then proceeded to examine Poppy, gently touching and rubbing the areas that seemed to have taken the worst of the fall. When she rubbed the princess’ ankle, Poppy finally stirred.

Relief washed over him in waves when he saw her eyes opening. And he could have cried of joy the moment he heard her voice. “B-Branch…? Wha-what happened?”

Branch was about to answer when he felt Dr Plum’s hand on his shoulder, interrupting him. “You fell and sprained your ankle, Poppy. But let’s take you to your room so I can examine it further just to make sure.” She then turned to Smidge, “Smidge, could you please help me lift her up so we can take her to the Castle-pod?”

Smidge did as she was told, but before the green-haired troll could reach them, Branch addressed her, “Dr Plum, shouldn’t I accompany my wife? She just had such a nasty fall that I…” I thought I was going to lose her, that thought was so horrifying, Branch didn’t even want to say it aloud.

Fortunately for him, the lab coat clad troll spoke first. “Your Highness, I believe it is best if I make sure Poppy has just sprained her ankle, and I will work better if it is just her and me in your room.” Seeing his anxious expression, she added, smiling softly, “But you’re free to spend as much time with her as you want once she’s all patched up. I know how much she’ll appreciate having you near.” After patting his back gently, she made her way to where Smidge was waiting for her, a disoriented Poppy leaning on the teaspoon troll’s shoulder.

As the three girls became spots in the distance, Branch’s expression hardened. “Commander, we have got to talk.”

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Inside the Castle-pod, in the hall that led to the Royal couple’s bedroom, a furious Branch was pacing in front of Suki, her head hung low in shame. If she hadn’t known she was in trouble the moment she crushed into Poppy’s bug, she was well aware of it the moment Branch called her ‘Commander.’ He hadn’t called her by her military title ever since Poppy started help him to lower his guard, and even before that he only really called her like that in the Forest when they were on duty or the circumstances were serious.

Just like now.

“I just don’t understand!” Branch ranted, just like he’d been doing for the last half hour. “How could you be so irresponsible as to not look where you were going?! And while you were flying, no less!” The grey troll was so far gone in his own rage and bewilderment, he still hadn’t moved on from asking that same question. But it was surreal! The whole situation didn’t make sense! Suki had been so reckless she didn’t pay attention to where she was going, which could have resulted in Poppy getting gravely hurt… He could have expected that kind of behaviour from Mulberry, or Fiona and Finnick, but Suki?! “Do you have any idea what could have happened?! Poppy could’ve-!”

“Branch, enough!” Under any other circumstances, the DJ would’ve never raised her voice at her Prince when he was scolding her for something that was her fault. But he went too far, acting like she wouldn’t be shaken too if something serious had happened to Poppy. “I know what I did was one of the most stupid things I have ever done, but you don’t get to treat me like I’m not perfectly aware of it either!” She was so stressed out, she could feel the tears in her eyes threatening to spill. “I know you could have lost the love of your life, but I…” she pointed at herself, her eyes red from unshed tears and her teeth gritted from helplessness, “I could’ve killed my best friend. So you don’t have to beat me up about it; I’m doing a fine job at it myself.” And with that, she hurried down the halls, her hands desperately trying to hold back the cries coming from her throat.

Branch looked down in shame. While it was undeniable Suki had been too reckless, she was right in being angry at him. He was being too selfish. Even if the both of them were clearly shaken for what could’ve happened, it was Suki who would’ve had to live with the guilt, not him.

He made a mental note to apologise to her as soon as he’d checked on Poppy.

At that moment, Dr Plimsy exited the room. “Just as I thought, just a sprained ankle. She just needs a few days of rest and to keep her foot high while she’s in bed.” She gave him a coy, knowing smile. “You can go see her, Your Highness.”

Branch was convinced he’d never moved so fast in his life, but he had to see her. He just had to see her smile. After the absolute terror he’d experienced not long ago, he was sure he would die if he couldn’t enjoy her radiant smile again. He needed it like oxygen.

Lying on bed, with her right ankle high, was Poppy. And the moment she saw him enter the room, she breathed air into his lungs. She smiled at him. Even when she was weary from what had soon become a very long day, she still found the time to gift him with the object of the sun’s envy. He couldn’t believe how lucky he was to have her in his life.

“Hey, honey. Are you OK- Branch?!”

He fell to his knees beside the mattress, startling his darling. Taking her hands in both of his, he started peppering them with desperate kisses, he could already feel the moisture in his eyes. Finally, he choked out, “I am now.”

Poppy couldn’t take it anymore, she hated to see him sad, especially because of her, so she did what she knew best; she brought him into a hug. “Oh, Branch!” She began to gently stroke his hair to calm him down, just the way he liked it. “Oh, honey, I’m so, so sorry I worried you like that! But I’m fine! …Well, mostly… But really, there’s nothing to worry about, I’m safe.” He didn’t answer, just held her tighter. Knowing it would take a while for Branch to calm down from such a scare, she just hummed appreciatively and returned his embrace with the same intensity and love as he offered.

But Branch’s mind was made up. That one had been way too close for his liking. He could take many things as the king-to-be of two nations, but losing the love of his life was something that would certainly end him. If there was anybody he wanted to keep safe at all costs, that was Poppy. He would do anything in his power to keep his wife by his side.

And he knew just what he had to do.

.........................................................................................................................

Walking down the tunnels of the bunker he and his men had been digging for months ever since they arrived at the Valley Kingdom —the very same bunker he still hadn’t shown to his wife, who was sure to kill him for making her wait for so long—, Branch approached the fortified door that hid away the key element of his plan.

Guarding said doors were the siblings Arum and Mulberry. Any other day, Branch would’ve made a point to let them know they had better behave and not argue while they were on duty. But today he just had one goal in mind: retrieve one of the items behind that door and make sure no one ever got hurt on his watch again.

“Mulberry,” he called the yellow troll, “open the vault.”

Mulberry nodded before he began unlocking the door. While he was putting the codes and turning the keys, he asked, “How’s Poppy?” Suddenly, someone smacked him on the back of his head. “Ow! Why’d you do that for?!”

Arum sent him a glare, “Because you’re on duty, so stop socialising!” While that was what she said with her words, with her eyes she was trying to let him know that he should have a little more tact when speaking about the princess before their leader.

But of course, Mulberry was never good at taking a hint. “Well, excuse me! Maybe you’ve only socialised with Cybil since we got here, but I happen to be friends with Poppy! I’m worried about her, OK?!”

Arum felt like face-palming herself. Even though the idea of face-punching her brother sounded much more appealing at the moment. But before she could sock the idiot she had the misfortune of being related to, Branch spoke up. “She’s doing OK; just a sprained ankle. She should be fine in a few days.”

Arum almost let out the breath she was holding when she saw their prince wasn’t going to try to kill her brother for being an insensitive idiot. Again. Mulberry wasn’t quite the same ever since the Valentine’s Day scare…

“Well, I’m glad. From what I’ve heard, that sure was one nasty fall…” OK, nevermind! The idiot wanted to die, so she would grant him his wish. By the time he said this, Mulberry had finished opening the vault. He stepped aside to let Branch in.

Again, Branch only sighed. “Yes, it was. Despite our best efforts, the Valley has proved itself to be a challenge time and time again, and after what happened yesterday…” he shook his head, he didn’t even want to think about it. “I am initiating Plan Five Delta Zero.”

Arum and Mulberry gasped. Plan Five Delta Zero was so extreme they agreed on using it only on desperate circumstances, like finding out there was an impostor or a spy in their midst. “Branch?” The prince turned his head slightly to Mulberry, humming a little to let him know he’d heard him, “Are you sure we wouldn’t be going overboard? I mean, compared to us, the Rainbow trolls aren’t as-.”

“Well-prepared? Cautious? Ready for anything?” Arum suggested.

“I was going to say paranoid, but sure, that works, too.”

“Mulberry, we’ve been too lenient lately.” Branch said, his back turned to his soldiers as he scanned the room, trying to find what he was looking for. “Believe it or not, Poppy’s accident was because Suki was too reckless when flying her bug.” Again, the siblings could only gasp. “Had we all been in top shape, their bugs wouldn’t have even brushed against each other. So, no. I’m not taking any chances.”

Finally, he spotted what he’d come for. In the far corner of the room, resting on a shelf was a little bag. He used his hair to pick it up before going back the way he came from, leaving behind too flabbergasted trolls.

“…I am so making fun of Suki for being the reckless one for once… Ow! Would you care to stop that?!” This time, Arum had punched him on the arm.

.............................................................................................................................

Poppy lay in bed, sleeping soundly. Normally she would hate not being active, which is why she hated training so much when they first started —well, that and because her husband was one Hair of a smug little motherhugger about it back then—, but now that she was recovering from her sprained ankle, she could welcome a few extra hours of rest.

If only her husband were there to cuddle with her…

In her semi-unconscious state, she felt the weight of the mattress shift. She smiled, it looked like her wish had come true. “Hello there, handsome…” She said groggily as she turned around to face Branch, “How’s it going-what in the name of everything trolly is that?!” When she opened her eyes, instead of her husband’s handsome features, she was greeted by one big, bulging eye. She was so spooked she jumped out of bed. But before her face could meet the floor, the thing’s arms —wait, were those arms, or were they leaves? Arm-leaves? — wrapped around her and tugged her safely in bed once again.

“Poppy,” Branch’s voice caught her attention, “meet the Eyestalk. These little guys are my people’s ultimate form of surveillance.” He sat on his side of the bed, right next to her, and gently began to stroke the back of her hand with his thumb. “I was thinking about using them in the kingdom. That way we can avoid any more unfortunate accidents.”

Poppy made a face. “Branch, I know you just want to keep everyone safe, but don’t you think this might be a bit much?”

“Actually, I think I was settling for too little before.” He took a deep breath and squeezed her hand just a little tighter. “If we’d been more on guard yesterday, you wouldn’t have fallen. You scared me to death for a moment there, Poppy. I can live without a lot of things, but I can’t live without you. And I don’t want any more of your trolls going through the excruciating pain of losing someone dear when it could’ve been avoided.” He looked her dead in the eye, his expression so vulnerable she felt her heart constricting in empathy for the troll she loved. “Please, Poppy, let me introduce the Eyestalks to the kingdom.”

His words held so much emotion, he almost moved her to tears. Even to this day she still couldn’t believe how much Branch loved her. It was so wonderful knowing somebody cared about her more than anyone else in the world… Still, she was Acting Queen and needed to think about her trolls and their reaction to those creepy plants.

“Branch, this could be such a great idea, I mean it!” Branch’s grin widened at her words. “But…” and then it fell, “it would also be a huge change for us, Rainbow trolls. We’re not used to such things, it could become very invasive very quickly. How about I get acquaintanced with this… little fella… first and then I tell you if it’d be a good idea to plant some more?”

Though he was a bit disappointed that things didn’t go his way, Poppy was taking her role as Acting Queen very seriously, and she offered a very good compromise. He could wait a little. “Deal.”

............................................................................................................................

Now that he’d agreed on giving Poppy some time to reflect on the use of Eyestalks in her kingdom, Branch knew he had some matters to take care of. After talking a little with Poppy about their day so far —although she insisted on listening mostly to his because, as she put it, “Branch, I am confined to our bed. There’s literally nothing going on for me.”—, he told her he had to go, much to their mutual disappointment, but promised some extra cuddles for the next day.

He was following the path to one particular pod. One he didn’t really visit often but that the troll he was looking for certainly did. But as he was making his way to the twins’ pod, a troll riding a Flyer Bug passed by him, missing him by a hair. The troll in question yelled a quick “Sorry, Your Highness!” before focusing again on flying.

That troll caught Branch’s attention. Now wherever he looked, all he could see where trolls acting recklessly on their bugs. Hadn’t they learned anything from the previous day’s events?

The more trolls flew around, carelessly doing tricks and antics that could cost them greatly, the more anxious Branch grew. His eyes kept darting from one troll to another, one wrong movement shy from disaster to another. He couldn’t take it anymore. He knew he’d promised Poppy he’d wait for her verdict, but this was for everyone’s sake. She would thank him later.

Using his hair to swing from one branch to another, the grey troll landed on top of a particularly big mushroom, took the bag containing the Eyestalk seeds out, and planted one on top of the platform. Immediately, it grew, and declaring danger with its nasal little voice, it extended its vines to carefully tie the Flyer Bugs around it until the plant deemed the activity safe.

“Don’t worry, everyone!” Branch tried to reassure the now bored trolls. “You’re all safe now.”

He was about to resume his previous walk when the Eyestalk stopped him dead in his tracks. “Danger!” It said while pointing somewhere else with its one eye.

Intrigued, Branch took a look at the direction the Eyestalk was pointing at. When he registered what the plant was trying to warn him about, a knowing smile appeared on his face. “Ah, so you want to solve that too, right? Well, little buddy, you read my mind.”

And so, Branch spent the best part of the morning planting Eyestalk after Eyestalk in places where potential dangers could take place. Such as the Jumping Mushrooms, or Cooper’s cupcake stand, or Guy and Biggie’s “fencing.”

“Well, that should do it.” He declared proudly. With that taken care of, he finally went back the way he came from. He still had some important matters to discuss with one particular troll.

Unfortunately, he failed to see the Eyestalks’ ambition growing, as well as their cunning…

..............................................................................................................................

When he finally made it to the unusually big pod that held the Fashion Twins’ shop, he tried to compose himself. What he came to do wasn’t going to be easy, but it needed to be done. He knocked on the hairy wall a few times when he arrived at the entrance. Satin was the one to greet him. “Oh! Hi, Branch! How’s Poppy?” she asked, worried about her best friend.

“She’s fine, just needs to rest her ankle a little.” He tried to sneak a peek from over the fashionista’s shoulder. “Can I come in?”

Satin looked hesitant. “Um… I don’t think it’s a good idea, actually. Suki’s in there and she’s told Chenille all about your little spat yesterday.”

“So you’re saying Suki doesn’t want to see me?”

“Well…yeah.” She gave him a sheepish smile. “But mostly I’m saying Chenille’s livid at you for talking to Suki like that. So unless you want to lose your royal jewels, I’d stay away if I were you.”

Branch gulped, who knew Rainbow trolls could be this vicious? But then again, the time Poppy told him off for his behaviour she’d also been a force to be reckoned with. So maybe it shouldn’t have come off as surprising. But he had to see Suki. “Satin, please. I know I was out of line yesterday, that’s what I came here for.”

Satin was about to retort when a voice coming from inside interrupted her, “Let him in, Satin.”

Branch and Satin turned their heads to see Suki, arms intertwined with Chenille’s (who looked like she was trying to hold back from glaring at her future king). Suki, in turn, turned her head to her fiancée, “Can you guys leave us alone for a while? We need to talk.”

“Are you sure?” Chenille asked, clearly worried for her mate.

Suki nodded before giving her a reassuring smile, “Positive.”

“OK.” And with that the twins left them alone inside the pod.

Suki and Branch looked like they were uncomfortable in each other’s presence. Something that hadn’t taken place ever since Suki’s first few months at the Forest. Each of them opened and closed their mouths a few times, before realising they were looking at each other’s eyes and promptly avoiding all eye contact.

Just when Branch had gathered enough courage to speak up, Suki beat him to it. “Look, Branch…” She took a deep breath, “I’m sorry I yelled at you. You’re my prince, I should’ve never done that.” She averted her eyes again, obviously ashamed, “…especially when you were right; I put Poppy in danger. And I know that you were also in very bad shape after the accident. I know that it takes you so long to let people in because your greatest fear is losing them forever. And considering I have never seen you so in love with anyone before, I could always tell from a mile away that Poppy means the world to you.” She finally looked him into the eye again, “Branch, I’m-.”

“I’m really sorry, Suki.”

The Commander’s eyes widened. “Wait, what? You’re sorry?!” She couldn’t believe it! “Branch, I’m the one who acted recklessly and put your wife’s life in danger, not the other way around!”

Branch chuckled lightly. “I know,” he shrugged nonchalantly, “but you were right too, Suki. I shouldn’t have snapped at you like I did. I’m ashamed to admit it, but I think I took all the day’s stress out on you, and that was unfair of me.” He rested one hand on her shoulder, making her look at him. “Suki, you were too reckless for what I’m used of you, that’s true. But you had a point; while I would’ve been devastated had anything happened to Poppy, you would have had to live with the guilt.” He chuckled again, confusing her. Couldn’t he read a room? This was not the sort of subject that elicited a chuckle. “And you and I know that Poppy is unknowingly good at making guilt feel even worse because of her sunny, forgiving nature.” He would be lying if he said he didn’t feel a pang of regret now and then (or every day, really) when she offered him her love and he remembered how cold he’d been to her during their first months together.

“I guess what I’m trying to say is, I forgive you. Can you forgive me, too?”

She smiled, “Of course I do, my prince.”

Now that the air had been cleared between them, Suki felt confident enough to sass him. Crossing her arms and aiming a smirk at his direction, she dared to ask, “So, what’cha been up to? Couldn’t stay away from your wife to come see me sooner?”

Branch actually laughed at that. “No, I was actually planting some Eyestalks on my way here. You could say I got distracted.”

Suki’s eyes were as wide as saucers at the revelation, “Wait, are you saying you’ve set Plan Five Delta Zero in motion?”

“Yes, after what happened yesterday, it was necessary.”

“And Poppy’s OK with this? I dunno, Branch… Such a surveillance system is a huge change in the Valley’s lifestyle. I mean, even in the Forest Kingdom we only use it on very extreme cases… And-, why are you looking at me like that?” When realisation hit her, she gasped. “Oh, Branch! You didn’t!”

The moment Suki mentioned Poppy’s opinion on the Eyestalks, Branch started sweating bullets. “Suki, don’t worry! I mean, sure, Poppy asked me to give her a little time to think things through, but the moment she sees what the Eyestalks can do for the kingdom, she’ll be totally on board with it!”

Suki wasn’t so convinced, “Are you sure about that? ‘Cause it can either go your way, or it can make Poppy think you’ve been stepping on her toes.” She tapped her fingers on her chin in a contemplative manner, “And now that I think about it, as Acting Queen, she’s higher up in the hierarchy than you Branch, and you should know better than anyone what if feels like to be ignored even when you have the last say in something.”

Branch waved it off, “Suki, relax. I know what I’m doing. And Poppy just wants what’s best for her kingdom. Trust me, the moment she sees what those babies can do, she’ll agree with me. Anyway, I gotta go back to her, it’s almost lunch. See you around!”

As Branch’s form retreated in the distance, the DJ’s gut told her not to be so sure about what her prince promised. “You’d better be right, Branch. For your own sake.”

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Branch was walking down the Castle-pod’s countless halls, making his way back to his and Poppy’s pod-room, a skip in his step due to how productive the day had turned out to be. “The moment Poppy sees how useful the Eyestalks are, she’s going to want them everywhere.” He optimistically thought to himself.

But just as he was rounding the corner to his room, a tray with their food in hand, a scream came out from inside. Hastily placing the tray on the floor, he ran towards the room where his wife was; he could recognise her screams anywhere. The day she’d almost been taken by a tarantapuff made sure to engrave the sound in his memory. He slammed the door open with a powerful kick…

Only to find his pink beauty wrestling with the Eyestalk he’d left with her.

“Listen up, you horticultural menace!” She cried out with an apparent note of frustration in her voice as she struggled against the plant’s vines. “The only ones I allow to lovingly tug me in are my father when I was a trolling and my husband when I’m having a bad day. And you’re neither! So if you step your boundaries one more time, so help me!”

Taking advantage of the plant’s fixation on his wife, Branch snuck behind it… And effectively took care of the problem by simply smacking and breaking the pot. He looked up at his wife, “You OK, Poppy?”

The pink princess let out a sigh of relief once she’d regained her breath. “Yeah, thank you.” She wiped the sweat in her brow away. “Boy, those things are crazy. I’m so glad we didn’t use them in the village.” She giggled.

The moment she said that, Branch started blushing furiously in embarrassment and turned his back on her so she wouldn’t see him. “Y-yeah! M-me, too!” He stuttered.

Poppy raised a suspicious eyebrow at him, “Why are you turning red?”

“O-oh!” He jumped at her question. He could still get his plan to work if he played his cards well. “I just remembered how much I love you, that’s all!”

Of course, he’d spent his whole life staying clear from bets and card games, so he was terrible gambler material. “Yeah…” Poppy drawled. “You gonna have to do better than that, Branch. ‘Cause you remembering how much you love me would imply that we could possibly forget, which you and I know it’s impossible.” She crossed her arms. “So you’d better spill: What’s. Going. On. Branch?” She made sure to enunciate every word slowly and clearly enough so he would get the point that lying to her was not the way to go.

Her husband tried to come up with a convincing enough story to stall her until he’d made sure what happened to her Eyestalk was just a fluke. Unfortunately, the moment his eyes landed on the broken pot with the dead plant, Poppy’s narrowed on him; her mind finally connecting the dots. She gasped. “Wait. Branch, did you use the Eyestalks in the village when I specifically told you not to?”

“W-well, yeah… But!” he put his hands up in defence, “…But they’re really useful Poppy! You’ll see, the kingdom’s never going to be safer than with these beauties.”

“Beauties?!” She all but screeched. “That thing basically put me under house arrest! It wouldn’t even let me go to the bathroom!”

The uncharacteristic scowl on her face as well as her exasperated tone indicated she was not in a good mood. But just as Branch was racking his brain to find something that would reassure her that everything was under control, she spat at him. “You know, Branch? For someone who’s been raised his whole life to respect hierarchies and protocol, you sure don’t give a cupcake when it applies to you.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“It means that I”, she pointed at herself, “am currently the Valley Kingdom’s Acting Queen, while you,” she was then pointing at him, “are my Prince Consort. According to your precious hierarchy, my decisions are above yours, and you should respect them!”

She was mad. Very, very mad. She was very, very mad at him. She was sure she’d never been this mad at him before. Not since she supposedly called him out on his behaviour on the Coming of Autumn Ball. But he’d crossed the line. It was one thing that they had different ways of looking after their subjects; that was what upbringing was for. But it was another thing entirely that he’d deliberately ignore his own kingdom’s teachings and her judgement on a matter that involved her kingdom.

She was so angry with him, she was sure she could’ve set her hair ablaze. But what he said next froze her to her very core.

“Look, Poppy. I know you were just trying to look out for your people, and that’s great! But really, when it comes to safety procedures, I’m the expert, so just leave it all to me. Just like I would leave party planning to you!”

For a moment, Poppy was completely motionless. His words repeating in her head on a loop. She was numb and disoriented from such a low blow... Until the numbness made way for the crushing weight of disappointment, accompanied by the freezing waves of sadness. Feelings that were sure to break her poor heart. Unconsciously, she gripped her sheets tighter, so tight her knuckles turned white. So that was what he thought of her? After all this time? He really saw her as a dumb pinkette, a funny but not very bright party girl who couldn’t take proper care of her trolls. After all they’d been through, he still thought she wasn’t good enough to rule. To him, she was still the lost child he scolded and belittled during his first months there. A child who clearly didn’t know anything about running a kingdom. He still treated her like an inconvenience, not a capable life partner who was worthy of being Queen by his side. Before she knew it, the tears were threatening to spill.

Worried from her lack of response, Branch tried to reach out a hand to her, “Poppy…?”

“I’m,” she tried to say, but the lump in her throat and the tears blurring her vision made it almost impossible, “I’m never gonna be good enough for you, am I?” She finally choked out.

The sound of his wife’s voice cracking and her tear-stained face immediately sent him into a panic. “What? Poppy, no! Y-you’re perfect for me!” He tried desperately to reason with her. “I just need you to trust me…”

“Trust?!” She screeched. He just put the last nail on the coffin. “You are talking to me about trust when it’s obvious you can’t trust my judgement?!” She let out a sardonic laugh. “That’s just rich!”

“Poppy, listen-“

“Get out.”

“What?”

“I said ‘get out’! I don’t want to see your face, you hear me?!”

The pink troll chose to ignore the pang of guilt she felt when she saw the hurt reflecting in his eyes; he wasn’t the one who’d just had a reality check that proved he’d never be someone she could count on. He wasn’t the one who’d just got two months of emotional abuse shoved back right in the face at full force.

But the plant lurking by the window didn’t choose to ignore how the troll their beloved prince claimed to care so much about just gave him the cold shoulder when he was just trying to help. It did choose, however, to get rid of the dangerous female once and for all…

............................................................................................................................

Still dumbfounded at how badly things had turned out, and hurt by Poppy’s words, Branch was stomping down the kingdom while grumbling to himself. “How could Poppy react like that? One little fluke and she just decided the Eyestalks aren’t good enough?” he rolled his eyes, “But of course, her father losing his mind was the sort of fluke she could totally ignore…” His eyes widened in shock when he registered his thoughts. He felt like slapping himself. Poppy was worried sick about her father and having a really hard time dealing with his condition. No matter how mad he might be, he should never use it against her.

Raising one hand, he rummaged through his hair until he found what he was looking for. When his eyes landed on the picture Biggie took of them during the cupcake fiasco from his birthday, he couldn’t help but tentatively stroke his wife’s laughing face. Seeing how happy they were even before confessing their feelings for one another always gave him hope that things between them would turn out OK. Funny how one little photo could bring him the hope he’d been missing for most of his life…

“I guess it’ll be best to let her cool down a little before bringing the Eyestalks up again…” he muttered quietly to himself. Before he knew it, he’d made it to the main square, but when his eyes landed on the scene before him, he stopped dead in his tracks. Wherever he looked, there were vines covering every inch of the place, trolls were being held against their will by the plants, and some of them were basically breathing down their necks about how they should live their lives. What had the plants done?

A familiar voice shook him away from his reverie. “Hi, Branch. Your friends like hugging, don’t they?” Biggie said from his vegetable confinement. Guy Diamond was as tied up as him. As if on cue, the vines started holding them tighter, almost cutting out their oxygen.

“We…loooooove…you…too!” The glitter troll choked out.

“What happened?” Branch asked in fright.

“Oh! W-we were just working on Guy’s fence w-when this weird plant, that seems to be everywhere now,” he muttered under his breath, but Branch’s enhanced hearing allowed him to make out the words, “came o-out of nowhere and s-started doing the job for us.” Biggie explained.

“Y-yeeeeah! And because we were s-suddenly free, we thought about t-taking a bath at the lake. But the moment I mentioned I hadn’t p-properly digested my lunch, the plant went craaaaazy! In the blink of an eye, there were dozens of them c-capturing trolls.” Guy finished in his auto-tuned voice.

“Sorry we couldn’t fight them off, but they caught us by surprise.” Biggie apologised.

“And where are my men?!” Branch was already trying to come up with a plan. If he assembled his men, together they could get rid of the plants. But there was one little problem: they were nowhere to be seen.

“Over here!”

When Branch turned around, he saw Suki, Mulberry, Arum, and Sap. They were captured as well. While Mulberry was upside down and blindfolded, Suki was glaring daggers at him.

“Oh, Sap! My darling!” Biggie cried, “Are you alright!?”

“I am, my love. Don’t worry. And you?”

“Better now that I know you’re safe.”

“Well, I wouldn’t exactly identify being held hostage by a safety-obsessed plant as ‘being safe’ but… Ow! Really, Arum? Even now?!” Somehow, his sister had managed to find a way to smack him even when the both were tied up. Muttering obscenities under his breath, the Sargent returned his focus to Branch. “Hate to say it, but told ya! The Valley was not ready for Plan Five Delta Zero. Hm…you know what? I don’t hate it at all! Feels good to be in the right for once.”

“And I can’t believe I’m saying this,” Suki said, “but I so agree with you, Mulberry.”

“OK, now this is just weird.” Arum muttered.

Suki decided to ignore the two siblings bickering to address her prince. “I warned you this could blow up in your face, but did you listen? Nooooo.” She rolled her eyes at him.

“Well, in all fairness, you warned me about the consequences this could bring to me and Poppy’s relationship. You never mentioned the plants could go rogue.” Branch tried to defend himself the best way he knew besides hand-to-hand combat; he used technicalities.

Suki merely hummed. “And how did that go?” The sight of Branch flinching was all she needed. “Yup. Told ya.”

“Look, never mind that. Because I’m going to put an end to this.”

“We’re afraid we can’t let you do that, Sire.”

The captured trolls’ eyes widened in shock, and Branch turned around just in time to witness how the Eyestalks had morphed themselves together into one giant plant with several eyes. Its voice a combination of the plants’ it was made of. “We have accomplished almost all our goals, Your Highness. The Valley Kingdom has never been safer!” They rejoiced.

“Why are you doing this?” Branch demanded to know, ready to unsheathe his sword.

“Why, because it is what you planted us for, of course!” They answered in their creepy monotone. "You wanted the kingdom to be safer, and that is exactly what we did. Are you not content with the result, Sire?” The plant seemed to be genuinely confused by their master’s disapproval of their actions.

“Of course not! You’re more of a danger to my subjects than anything that could come out of the forest!”

Despite Branch’s very specific outburst, the Eyestalks ignored his reasoning completely. “Oh, right! You are disappointed because we have not completed all our goals! But worry not, Sire. Our last objective is about to be met.”

For some reason, the grey troll had a bad feeling about that. “And that is?” He asked with caution.

“Why, to eliminate the pink menace who dare hurt you, your Highness!” Then it proceeded to play a scene where Poppy was being dragged through the floor by the all-seeing plants towards the mouth of a bigger, carnivore plant. “She is, by far, the biggest danger of all.”

Branch’s eyes widened in terror at the sight of his beloved about to be fed to the giant plant. She told him. She told him the Eyestalks were a bad idea that needed to be carefully thought through and he refused to listen, believing he knew which one was the best way to handle her kingdom. No wonder she was so upset. He’d unintentionally looked down on her and her leadership like he hadn’t done since the beginning of November. And now he was paying the price. He started all this because he didn’t want to risk losing her? Well, he was closer to losing her now than ever.

“Oh, my gah! Poppy was right, too much safety can be smothering! What have I done?” While he was on the verge of a full-scale panic attack, the distant sounds of Poppy’s screaming brought him back to reality. Right, he had to save her. He had to save her, and make everything right in the village, and apologise to Poppy for being an idiot. With a determined look in his eyes, Branch used his hair to swing from one branch to another, swiftly avoiding vine after vine. Landing on top of Cooper’s cupcake stand, he picked up a plater full of them and threw the tray at some of the Eyestalks that were coming his way, cutting their heads off with it. Just as he threw the plater away, he tossed the cupcakes that were on top of it inside his hair, and morphing it into a cannon, began shooting them at the safety-obsessed menace, effectively blinding them.

As he battled the vicious plant, there was but one thought running cross his mind, “I’m coming, Poppy.”

Poppy was rightfully terrified. First she had a Flyer Bug accident that forced her to go through several dreadful days of bedrest, and now she was about to be eaten by a glorified insecticide? This clearly wasn’t her week.

The worst part was that her sprained ankle made it impossible to fight back when the Eyestalks were first capturing her. She felt so useless… Maybe Branch was right and she didn’t know how to take care of her kingdom… Seeing how she was getting closer and closer to the carnivore plant’s gigantic mouth, she closed her eyes shut. Her biggest regrets were not living long enough to become the queen her people needed and deserved, and parting ways with Branch in bad terms. How she wished they could just be cuddling in bed, instead of being about to die.

She prepared herself for the upcoming crunch! she was sure to feel when the giant plant bit her, but instead she heard something being sliced. Right before a hand swoop her up and positioned her protectively behind a very strong body she knew very well. Hair, she wished she could hug that same body one last time just seconds ago! “Branch?” she gasped.

“Yeah, Poppy. It’s me.” He sent her a small smile before turning serious again. “Now stay behind me! I’m about to end this!”

She did as she was told and witnessed her husband unsheathe his sword. While she felt extremely uncomfortable around sharp objects that could injure others, she had to admit her husband was an expert swordsman. He moved with ease, blocking any attack that came his way and slicing any Eyestalk that was foolish enough to get too close. But after a while she could feel him growing anxious, his breathing shallow and his eyes darting to any direction.

“Branch, what’s wrong?” She gently put a hand on his shoulder.

“They’re cornering us, I’m running out of moves!” He panted. The Eyestalks took that moment of distraction to strip him of his sword, rightfully declaring it was a danger. Seeing no escape and understanding he’d brought it on himself for being too impulsive when trying to be cautious, Branch slumped his shoulders and sent a regretful look at his dear wife. She was the most important person in his life and he’d been enough of an idiot to endanger her.

“Poppy, you were right. I never should’ve acted before having your approval on the matter. I’m so sorry.”

The pink-haired troll smiled at him, tears already forming in the corners of her eyes. She threw herself at his arms and hugged him tightly. “You should be.” She broke the hug slightly to give him one last slow, passionate kiss on the lips. “I love you.” She whispered.

“I love you too.” He said back, hugging her just as tightly.

They awaited for their bitter end, but when it didn’t come, they both opened their eyes to see the Eyestalks weren’t responding. “Not…danger?” One of them asked.

“Yes!” Branch exclaimed. “She’s not dangerous! She loves me and I love her too! Sure, she hurt my feelings, but I hurt hers, too. And…she was right; too much safety can be smothering.”

Poppy could only smile at her husband. He admitted to her being right! She was so happy she could just kiss him all over again. But before she had a chance, she was interrupted by the Eyestalks malfunctioning, incapable of processing that there could be something as ‘too much safety.’

Soon, only one remained. “Awesome!” it chanted.

“Branch, look! This one seems to get it!”

“Yeah…” he wrapped his hair around his sword before pointing at the plant with it. “Well, better take care of it!”

“Wait!” His wife put a hand on his chest to stop him. “I think I have a better idea.”

...............................................................................................................................

The pod-room’s window was placed so Poppy and Branch could have a perfect view of the kingdom even from bed. Which was a good thing, considering the princess was still on bedrest and standing up would certainly tire her out. But they had a perfect view of the harmless Eyestalk, who was now directing the Flyer Bugs so there wouldn’t be more accidents, from where they lay.

“You were right, Poppy. That is the perfect way to keep the village safe.” Branch said as he put one arm around her shoulders before bringing her close to him.

“Told ya!” she giggled as she snuggled closer to his side.

“Yeah, you did…” he whispered, “Just like you told me too much safety could be smothering, and I ignored you…” he looked away, ashamed of himself.

“Aw, Branch… It’s OK. Sure, it was a very stupid mistake, but we all make those sometimes!” she wiggled her eyebrows at him in a playful manner. “Have you forgotten already about that time I ate a poisonous berry that turned me into this huge, round thing?”

That earned her a snicker from her husband. “Besides, I was too harsh on you. Sorry I yelled at you.”

“Sorry?” He asked, incredulous. “Poppy, I’m the one who’s sorry!” He used his free hand to point at himself. “I didn’t get it when we fought, but the moment I saw what the Eyestalks had turned into, it was crystal clear.” Gah, how he hated when Suki was right…”I stepped on your toes. As Acting Queen you decided to think things first before changing anything in the village, and I, as your husband, the troll who’s supposed to trust and support you more than anyone else, acted like I knew best…” He finished, the guilt apparent in his voice. “I’m truly sorry, Poppy.”

Poppy just sent him one of those radiant smiles that ignited a fire in his heart every time he saw them. Just what was life before this wonderful creature became a part of his world? “Thank you, Branch. That’s all I wanted to hear, a sincere apology.” She leaned in to give him a kiss on the cheek. “And I forgive you.” Feeling like he’d fallen even more for his pink beauty, the grey troll brought her into a sweet kiss. When they broke it, she snickered, “Though, gotta warn you! Another stunt like that and my most reliable troll will end up being Smidge! And you know she’ll physically fight you for that title!”

Branch burst out laughing at that. It was true, the teaspoon troll’s devotion to Poppy was deep enough to rival his, and he was her mate! “Then I sure hope it doesn’t come to that!” he joked, making Poppy giggle. With eyes full of love and a fast beating heart, he whispered, “I love you so much, Poppy.”

She smiled back at him, “I love you too, Branch.” Then she began getting comfortable in bed, “Now, c’mon! I believe someone owes me some extra cuddles!”

And the two drifted to a peaceful sleep in each other’s arms…

.............................................................................................................................

“The end!” A male glitter troll with watermelon pink skin and sparkling white hair said, closing a binder full of notes. “And with that it can be concluded that His Majesty, King Branch, didn’t always care for his wife the Queen as much as he was known for doing.”

A completely disinterested female glitter troll, who looked very much like her brother except for having bright red skin, simply rolled her eyes from where she was standing. “For the last time, Charles,” she said, exasperated. “How many times do I have to tell you to check your sources?! That is clearly not how the Eyestalk Crisis happened!” She walked to where he was, until their faces were barely a hair apart. “King Branch was hopelessly in love with Queen Poppy since day 1! Stop with your nonsense, already!”

“It’s not nonsense, Monique!” Charles retorted. ”Their Majesties didn’t always have the loving relationship they are known for today, and I can prove it!”

She sighed, “How?”                    

“Simple.” He grinned before holding out his binder for her to see. “Grandpa told me everything!”

Monique face-palmed herself. “And you believed him? Charles, Grandpa has a fondness for making up stories! You might as well have used Trollipedia and it would’ve been much more accurate!”

“Oh, yeah? And how do you explain the Mandolin Incident, huh?!”

Her brother would be the death of her and of the entire historian community. “For the last time! The mandolin wasn’t properly made, the princess got stabbed with a splinter and the prince, in an act of overprotectiveness over his dear wife, got rid of it for hurting her. Seriously, dude! Check your sources!”

Apparently, the truth behind Queen Poppy and King Branch’s marriage would be one of the best hidden secrets in Trolls history.

[phenomenal1500]

The Blood In My Veins | Black Sails

Chapter 37: The Living Dead | Part 1

For Chapter 36: Change Of Mind click here.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In the distance I could hear Teach ask Charles what was wrong with me, with Charles reacting that I was stressed, tired and in pain. Nothing more, nothing less. Laughing to myself I kept my gaze onto the horizon not paying attention to them both anymore.

~~~

"Hey." I heard the broad man in the distance narrowing the gap between us. "You're doing okay?"

I decided to not pay attention to Charles now standing next to me and still glanced at the blue, calm ocean. I didn't answer him and let myself silently drown in my thoughts.

"I know you have troubles with understanding the change of mind, but that doesn't mean I'm turning into something I wasn't before. I respect Teach, but little one, I would never want to turn into his kind of behaviour or into him at all." He whispered and felt his piercing gaze on me. "I know how you feel about Nassau and this situation and I'm sorry...." I could hear him sigh in regret. "But Naida be honest, it wasn't just the reason I changed my mind that made you mad and you know that too. I know you better. If you're angry you'll only show it like this when it's too much and it's bottled up." I turned my head around to watch Charles as he took a step closer to hold my waist while I was sitting on the railing. I first wanted to push him away, but another part of me actually needed the comfort.

"I'm tired and...." I sighed under my breath. "I figured my body isn't capable of doing things I did before and that kinda frustrates me. I just want to spend more time with you and forget everything."

"M-huh."

He stepped closer, sliding his arms around me and hugged me from behind. I honestly had never thought he would do this in the public's eyes, but I think he couldn't care less at the moment as well. I slowly laid my head back and leaned against his shoulder as we watched the sun rise together. His way of thinking and my way of thinking was different, but I could respect that and embrace it as long as he could do the same and stay himself. Still staring at the sun, I suddenly felt Charles leaving short and small kisses in my neck and I chuckled softly while I felt his arms tighten around me.

"I talked to Teach." He spoke to me in a hushed tone.

"So what did he say?"

"After today we'll arrive at Ocracoke." I slightly turned my head around, well, as far as I could. as my eyes grew bigger. It was delightful to hear I finally didn't have to feel sick every time I tried to lay down and it meant Charles and I could sleep in one bed.

"Thank god."

"You should thank me for suggesting to take a faster route instead."

"Who said you're not a god? You're shaped like one after all."

"I could tell you the same." We both bursted into laughter as Charles helped me off of the railing and back onto the upper deck and in the distance I could see Teach smile at Charles who was busy laughing and tickling my body which I hated. I couldn't control my laughing and tried my best to push Charles away so he would stop. Sadly, I ended up with Charles winning and pulling me against him while I had my palms flat on his chest, us both smiling to each other while sharing a kiss.

~~~

Ocracoke

~~~

Sitting down onto the hot sand, sharpening my swords as I watched over the beach, I watched the waves crash against the small cliffs, foam forming afterwards. Men were for fun challenging and fighting each other while other men were messing around with the whores on the beautiful island.

Teach had left with another brown haired woman, it seemed like they already knew each other, and Charles was on the other side of the beach, sitting before a tent on a barrel while eyeing everything that happened, keeping me in his sight as well. I waved at him and he smiled back, his face expression immediately changing as he noticed Reuben walking his way. The red haired man tried to explain something while Charles in the meantime made his way to me.

"What's wrong?" I stood up, rubbing the sand from my pants.

"Flint." He walked past me like it was nothing and I quickly followed his footsteps to the waterline.

"Charles? Explanation?"

"He's alive."

I froze, standing still onto the unsteady and hot sand which made my boots warm up from the outside in as I tilted my head. I couldn't believe Flint had survived Hornigold, but Charles wouldn't lie about it. With every man on the coast we surveyed the sloop that arrived onto the shore of Ocracoke.

The first man who hopped out of it was Flint who helped the rest with the other two sloops to come  ashore before Flint and his men stepped our way.

"Jesus." The old man spoke before eyeing the alive man again. I was positioned slightly behind Charles and in my mind I started to cheer up horribly. "Welcome to Ocracoke."

~~~

"Nearly dismasted in a storm.... a storm you chased after. Nearly starved to death in the doldrums. Nearly executed by them." Teach looked at the men sitting behind Flint and stared back at him. "Either you are unkillable, friend, or way overdue."

"One way or another, I am here, and there is much to discuss about all our futures." Flint reacted annoyed, but secretly tired towards the older man on the other side of the table. I had taken my distance between them and sat around a fire with Charles' men. I was more comfortable with them. The men first had to get used to me being around their Captain, but eventually everyone started to adapt to the idea and even started to bring up conversations with me.

Either way I was lucky that they weren't that far away from the conversation so I could eavesdrop Flint and Teach with ease.

"What kind of future do you propose that to be?"

"I intend to gather forces and move to reclaim Nassau. The conquest is always weakest when the conqueror allows himself to believe that it is done. For Nassau, that point is now. Now, England may hold the island, but it still needs supplies brought in. It is still dependent upon trade. We will make that impossible for him." I didn't know Flint had these kind of manners while talking against another pirate, but he still seemed to have a little piece of his past in the way he behaved towards other people. "We will harass his ships. We will plunder his supplies. We will force him to bleed capital and support and the goodwill of the men surrounding him until he is weak enough to challenge directly. Until we can bring the fleet to bear and retake the bay." He explained while still keeping eye contact with Teach.

"You know, when I called Nassau home-...." I could feel an old habit of Teach coming up and already prepared for a new long story. "Most of the men on this beach weren't even men. I sailed with Ben Hornigold. I sailed with Sam Bellamy. I sailed with Henry Avery. Feuded with them, stole with them, questioned their motives, but we all knew what we were. Then a man arrives who would explain to us what we've been doing was wrong all those years, what Nassau ought to be, what he could make it if we would all just follow his lead. And here you are again asking to do the same."

"You let go before it's time." Flint had a hateful tone behind his voice and he shook his head.

[ashes-in-a-jar]

Tma relisten Episodes 11-15

So this round already has two other posts out of it about Oliver because he Bae.

These have alot of ideas regarding entities changing around reality, controlling non victims to set the stage, and turning around what people love most to their worst fear. Also insane abilities of the crew to obtain hard to access info and evidence! And some more Jon sass. Enjoy!

11 dreamer

Wow this episode had alot. I made a separate post with a theory about Oliver's statement here and a realization regarding him and Jane Prentiss here. They are alot to unpack

Oliver is so. Freaking. Relatable! Learned economics and hated it. Nearly had a breakdown like him because of it. "going to stay with some of the few friends that had survived my year of stress-fuelled outbursts and constantly cancelled plans." yep. That.

Boyfriend Graham ey? You notebook eating Graham?? Wow that guy is full of surprises.

I love the dream sequences and their descriptions it's a really beautiful thing to try and picture.

Its interesting how he went from passive to desparate to passive again about death. He tries but can't help. I wonder when the dreams started to bother him so much he sought after the silence of point Nemo. Was it when they became so full of red because of the apocalypse coming closer? Hmmm

Another person named John. I guess that makes sense it's a common name. But I forgot how many people are fully named in this podcast. Hundreds of names to come up with! Jonny I'm quite impressed!

He worked with Jane Prentiss in the magic shop! I can't believe I forgot about that! Wow small avatar world indeed.

"It led me to a room, the label of which was still visible, and read “Archive”. I entered to see walls covered with shelves and cabinets stretching off into the distance. These shelves were coated in a sticky black tar, which I knew at that moment was the thickened, pulpy blood that pumped through each and every one of those veins." everything that has to do with the Fears I bet. Full of death and destruction and stolen from the veins to be out on display for the Eye's pleasure.

Yo Jon is scared of this he's seriously considering going to Elias for advice

" I had Tim look into it, as I don’t entirely trust the others not to have written it as a practical joke" wait. He trusts TIM? Not to do a practical joke? How. Why. Eh?

"died in the line of duty" fuck you Jonah.

Now Jon will get every new statement immediately when it's made. Perhaps this was Elias' intention all along. To scare him into making sure he does not miss any paranormal activity recorded by the institute.

12 first aid

I'm not immune to more Gerry badassery, hell yeah

And we get polish Martin which hell yeah! Even if Jon doesn't believe it. I'm sure he's repressing the fact that he's thoroughly impressed.

I think it's really interesting the effect entities have on people who are decidedly not their victims. Everyone leaving no questions so the entity can set the scene for the scare. Like with Gillespie how no one lived in the apartment building he was in etc. Alot of work into a handful of people being genuinely scared.

Gerry's burns stopped at the neck? How did he manage that. Also it's hilarious to imagine that he's like "yes burn all of me but please. not my goth makeup"

Zippo lighter with eye design!! And Jon has web design! They are brothers (joke but still really interesting)

Liquids were boiling around her and she didn't feel the heat. Also an interesting effect just for the scare.

Gerry got eye superpowers like Jon if he can function while injure and filled with painkillers.

“Yes. For you, better beholding than the lightless flame.” Gerry knew she'd be haunted by a Fear from that day on and realised that perhaps being watched would be easier for her specifically to deal with than the Desolation. I guess that's a way of assessing people. Which fear would least bother you.

Jon is already enamoured with Gerry you can tell. He can't wait to hear more from him. Just you wait Jon.

They really can access alot of information huh. CCTV Interviews files. Pretty impressive for a non-research team. They're so good at it they'd rather do that than actual archiving.

13 alone

The sound editing in this episode is not that great it was a bit to get used to.

We get a glimpse at the Lukases which is... Ugh

Jon is actually trying to be nice. Granted it's not working and she is a bit of a standoffish person herself who just went through a bad time but alot of her reactions are not his fault. He was trying to be considerate giving her space to record but he did stay when she asked.

She had already leaned into the Lonely before the incident it's interesting to see how some of these statements start with a person actually liking the aspect that later turns to fear. Same happens in lost johns' cave.

Evan Lukas sounds like an avatar of the exact opposite of the Lonely. At least to her. That's a really interesting effect from someone, especially a Lukas.

But maybe dying wasn't his family killing him but him not feeding his patron which he tried to leave. Really tragic.

She was in Martin's domain eyyy!

It's got a bit of buried aspects to it with the grave stuff and all.

"My fingers dug into the soft cemetery dirt as I looked around desperately for anything I could use to save myself, and my hand closed upon that heavy piece of headstone. It took all my self-control to keep a grip on that anchor, as I slowly dragged myself away from the edge of my lonely grave." The headstone was her anchor? But it said forgotten. I wonder how it helped her pull away. It probably had to go together with Evan's voice. Like the rib and the tape recorders having to work together! I just wonder what meaning the stone had for her.

"I’d be tempted to chalk this one up to a hallucination from stress and trauma, if it wasn’t for the fact... " God he does believe her heavens. He's not a skeptic!

This is when Jon's dreams start which... Good luck Jon.

14 piecemeal

Rentoul is terrifying sonofabitch and I would never want to meet him irl

I remembered them talking about how he was supposed to be a person who cursed alot and they couldn't do it because of sensor and I have to agree this could have been much better for the story. I tried imagining curses in some places.

LOL Jon reading this is funny. Trying to voice act the bad boy. Doesn't sound right on his voice.

With these kinds of statements happening alot where the person does something bad, the institute has to be in touch with police over them. The nda has to include that.

Hello Angela! I really wonder what her deal is. She scared the bid bully so she gotta have creepy vibes to the extreme.

Another lighter! Hmm do I have to start following the lighter motiff in this podcast. This one has a topless woman on it. Flesh lighter?

Salesa's also appearing that's cool! Noriega was probably looking for an artifact to reverse the curse. Didn't work tho since they left with the crate. The buried crate perhaps?

I'm wondering. Was this written? Because the statement sounds like he's talking. If so, Where's the recording?

Oh Jon your attitude towards Martin is so bad. He works so hard and it's not even in what he's good at, sorting and filing like he knows how to do from the library. God.

What's the deal with all the furniture gone? Did he think it'll help not get injured? He's not that smart if he thought that would help him.

15 lost Johns' cave

Ack a bad statement she was not a good person all around

Another example of the entities setting the stage by controlling others not to interfere with the victim's experience.

Also another example of the person liking the subject (cave exploration in this case. And the dark for that matter) only for it to turn against them.

Not much to say about this one other than its one of the scarier ones for sure. And her recording in the end is really the cherry on top. There is alot of discrepancy between what she believed happened and what actually did which shows how much the fear plays with and changes around reality. That's also how she manages to lie in a statement to Beholding. It wasn't a lie. It was her version of reality and she did not remember saying those awful words.

Taught me alot about cave diving and how much I will never do it in my life.

The Dark was mixed into this as well so it wasn't purely Buried.

Btw Where did she get the candles she was found with?

It feels like she made a choice. Didn't want to spend her last moments with her sister and then didn't want to die. She chose her sister to be taken over her. Her sister called for help and the candle coming closer might have been her! But she just shut her eyes.

How did Tim gain access to the recording?? Wow that's some prime evidence.

Martin is claustrophobic amongst other things huh? Live how Jon just dismisses this as an excuse not to work. At least he didn't push it.

[wkemeup]

Soldat

summary: When a hydra agent finds a way to hack into FRIDAY’s system to trigger Bucky into the winter soldier, he nearly kills you. In the aftermath, he can’t begin to find a way to forgive himself. Not without your help.

pairing: bucky x reader

word count: 7,022

warnings: wintersoldier!bucky, self-hating!bucky, physical fights, lots of comfort and soft!bucky 🌸

author’s note: So this is my first time writing for bucky and naturally I go for the angst/comfort fic bc thats where my twisted soul is happiest. I’d love to hear what you thought if you read it! 

Your back slammed heavy against the floor of the ring. It was the third time in as many minutes that you’d been thrown off your feet. You huffed the hair from your eyes, pursing your lips in a frown as you stared up at the man responsible for the current ache pulsing through your shoulders. Bucky shook his head, chuckling as dark hair swayed over his eyes.

“You’re getting soft, doll.”

“It’s an off day,” you grumbled. “You try sparring with a super solider the day after getting back from a month-long mission in Guatemala.”

“Excuses, excuses.”

Bucky turned his back to you as he reached for the water bottle sitting on the edge of the ring. His first mistake. You flipped onto your stomach, crawling along the mat until he stood close enough for you to swing your leg hard against the back of his knees, sending him tumbling to the floor. He let out a grunt at the impact. Hands grappled at his wrists, pushing them out to his sides and against the mat as your left leg swung over his waist to straddle him down.

He pushed up against you, but you dug your right knee into his hip bone and forced his arms back down. Bucky groaned, letting his head fall against the mat as he rolled his eyes.

“Wanna call me soft again, sweetheart?”

A bead of sweat dripped off the end of the baby hairs framing your face and fell against the floor next to Bucky’s head. He didn’t flinch, not even to tug at his wrists you kept bound against the mat. He could have escaped you easier than you’d admit with the strength of the serum running through his veins, but he stayed down. You raised an eyebrow at him, suspicious that he hadn’t tossed you off yet. A grin pulled at his lips, his eyes narrowing as they trailed over your face and down to where you sat against his waist.

“Not sure yet,” he said through a heavy breath. “Kinda like where it got me.”

You laughed, shaking your head as you pushed yourself off of him until you laid comfortably along matt next to him. Bucky adjusted his arms to rest his hands behind his head. The tips of his hair were wet with sweat, patches of his shirt damp from the last hour you’d spent pushing each other in the ring. It was a kind of routine you’d find yourself in at three in the morning. It was the only place Bucky had found peace when he first joined the avengers; told you as much a few months after you first met.

He was always one to keep to himself, that much didn’t surprise you, not with what he had been through. You had been working with the avengers for a few years before Steve brought Bucky onto the team. Most of your time was spent alongside Nat and Clint, being the only avengers without any superhero abilities other than your dashing good looks and assassin primed skill set. The gym was your home in the compound. It was where you spent most of your time. Whether it be training SHEILD recruits, pushing yourself in hand to hand with Nat, or running miles on the treadmill when the nights became too dark, which they often did.

It was also where you forged your friendship with Bucky.  

You had caught him beating the life out of the fourth punching bag Tony had replaced in a week at nearly two in the morning. His back was to you, dripping in sweat, as his grunts echoed throughout the room. He had only been living in the compound for a few days, hadn’t so much as said a word to anyone other than Steve.

You had approached him slowly, wondering if he was there for the same reason you were. Who else would decide to work out at this hour unless they had some demons to fight off? It was the first time you ever saw Bucky flinch as you approached him, eyes wide, unsuspecting, as you held your hands up cautiously. You had pressed your lips into a tight smile, nodding towards the treadmill to signal where you’d be and he only nodded once before returning to the punching bag. The dark circles under his eyes didn’t go unnoticed, nor did the sunken, pale look of his skin. He was better at hiding his demons during the day, you thought. He didn’t acknowledge you again until the fifth time you ran into each other in the dead of night.

He didn’t speak to you but he helped correct your form on a move you had been working on endlessly with Nat but couldn’t seem to get right. He gestured the move for you, waiting for you to signal you understood before he went back to the punching bag. You had watched him with careful eyes, studying him more than the combat move he was instructing. Still, you kept your distance. You remembered what Steve had told you about him. You weren’t in the business of pushing people before they were ready. It would be another two weeks before he spoke to you for the first time.

He had called your name as you were on your sixth mile on the treadmill, not having noticed his presence behind you. It had only been half etched smiles or a nod in recognition before that moment. You had raised an eyebrow at him, shocked as how soft his voice sounded in comparison to his hardened exterior. You jumped off the machine, wiping your brow with the edge of your shirt. It was the first time he asked you to spar.

Sooner than you realized, you had become friends. He had learned to tease you when you’d accidentally go for his left arm in hand to hand, momentarily forgetting it was made of solid metal. He’d laugh when you’d pin him to the ground and spray water at you when you’d get a little too cocky about it. You’d spend hours sitting at the edge of the ring, drenched in sweat, talking about the team, how he really should give everyone a chance, how you’d grown to befriend Steve, and how you came to be a part of the team. Bucky would talk about the 40’s and his ma. He told you about his past, the things Steve didn’t dare to share with you and the disdain he carried for the scars along his shoulder. He’d tell you about the nightmares that used to bring him to the gym late at night. He’d tell you that he started to come even when the nightmares were absent because there was just something comforting about this place.

He didn’t tell you it was you.  

He learned to find himself again in this gym, sparring with you, talking with you, evading his demons with you. The first day you saw him join the team for movie night, you almost choked on your popcorn. He sat down next to you, mumbled ‘what the hell is a hogwart,’ before he shoved his hand into your bowl of popcorn. When the rest of the team wouldn’t seem to evert their looks of complete shock, Bucky just shrugged and settled in next to you, asking a hundred questions about the movie. Sam had teased him about it, only for you to chuck the empty popcorn bowl across the room at him. Bucky had laughed so hard, he doubled over. Steve sat across the room with a beaming smile.

“You think Steve was right?” Bucky’s voice drew your attention back. You turned on your side to look at him, arm settling under your head to cushion against the hard ground of the ring. You narrowed your eyes quizzically and Bucky shrugged. “He keeps saying I need to get out more.”

You propped yourself up on your elbow. “What has you thinking about that?”

“He wants me to go on an undercover op next week. Requires blending in with the civilians.”

“You did a pretty good job of it in Bucharest,” you pointed out. He shook his head.

“This is different. I wouldn’t be just looking out for myself.” Bucky sighed, rubbing his face free of the sweat. “I’d have a mission again and people to watch out for. I’d had to keep myself in one piece or,”

“You’d have me to answer to,” you said, cutting him off with a lighthearted grin and poking him in his side. That got him smiling again. You plopped yourself back down on the mat, hair brushing up in a halo around your head. Your shoulder touched his and you tried to ignore the jolt of electricity fluttering across your skin.

Bucky chuckled. “Yeah I guess I would. Don’t want to see you mad, that’s for sure.”

“I’d have to beat you up again,” you teased, unable to control the grin on your face as you stared up at the ceiling. It was nearly impossible to suppress the laugh creeping up from your chest. You could tell he was looking at you, narrowing his striking blue eyes.

“Is that what you wanna call-“

A blaring siren cut Bucky off before he could finish. You jolted upright just as the lights went out, replaced by dim red and blue lighting along the outer walls. Bucky was on his feet before you could register what was happening. The siren was so loud; it was piercing. You winced as you felt the resounding horn in the back of your skull.

“FRIDAY!” you shouted, “What the hell is going on?”

“Not sure, Agent (Y/L/n),” the AI responded, her voice more panicked than you’d appreciate for a computer. “I think someone hacked into my system.”

“Is that even possible?” Bucky yelled towards you, hoping you could hear him over the sound of the siren.

“Not supposed to be!” You ran your hands through your hair, eyes scanning over the empty room. You gestured towards the door. “We should find the rest of the team. Make sure everyone’s alright.”

Bucky nodded, jumping over the ropes of the ring. You followed close behind, using the post the propel yourself above the barrier. Feet on the ground, you started jogging towards the exit when suddenly the siren ceased. You both pulled to a stop. A ringing was left in your ears in the siren’s absence. You and Bucky exchanged worried looks.

“I am delighted to see you again, soldat,” the voice said over the speakers in a thick German accent. You could vaguely register the subtle noise of the surveillance camera turning in Bucky’s direction. “I hope you’re still as capable as you once were. I suppose we will find out together.”

Bucky shook his head, his breathing picking up in pace. His right hand was shaking as he brought it to his mouth, rubbing anxiously at his lips.

“Oh God,” Bucky whispered in a shaky exhale. His eyes flickered over to you and the wave of panic across his face was enough to send a burning ache in your stomach.

“Bucky…” you started, though you couldn’t find the strength to finish. You knew about the trigger words, how Shuri had done her best to clear them from his head but she hadn’t quite figured it out just yet. He had been stable enough to return home with Steve, he had made so much progress, she was so close. But it wasn’t enough. She needed a few more months, Bucky would stay at the compound until then. It would be alright, Steve promised. No one knew the words; the book had been destroyed. The fear across Bucky’s face only reflected your own.

“Желание,”

“No,” Bucky groaned, stepping away from you, his hands flying to the sides of his ears as if that could shield him in some way. Finger nails dragging at his hairline.

“Ржавый,”

“This can’t be happening. This isn’t happening,” he mumbled frantically, his eyes squeezing shut. You stood only inches from him, your own hands hovering over his, terrified to actually touch him.

“Семнадцать,”

You reached out as Bucky started muttering to himself in Romanian, whispering frantically under his breath. Then the rise and fall of his chest started to pick up in pace and he squeezed his eyes shut, breaths coming in more labored. It was only then you finally allowed yourself to put your hands against his, begging him to look at you. His eyes shot open, a surge of panic coursing through them, as if he had forgotten you were right next to him, only a breath away from the monster he knew himself to be.

“What are you still doing here!” he yelled, shoving you aside. He pushed you with such force you stumbled back a few paces. He waved towards the door. “Get out of here, Y/n!”

“I’m not going to leave you, Buck!” You shouted back defiantly. You rushed back towards him, placing your hands on the side of his face, thumbs brushing hastily against his flushed cheeks. “I’m not leaving you alone like this. We’ll- we’ll figure something out.”

“Рассвет,”

Bucky winced, “I’ll hurt you.”

“I won’t let you.”

“Печь,”

Bucky let out a shout and collapsed to the ground. You tried to grab him before he did, but he was too heavy. You dropped down by his side, falling hard on your knees, as his hands started grasping at his sweats, desperately trying to find something to ground him.

“Please… go…” he begged, his voice hoarse.

“Девять,”

Bucky screamed again. This one sent waves of panic through your body. It was like he was in agony, in complete and unbearable pain, like he was strapped to that godforsaken chair in this very moment. You reached out to touch him but he swatted your hand away.

“Доброкачественный,”

“I will kill you, Y/n! Don’t you get that!” Bucky shouted, an aching pain lingering over his voice. “They will make me kill you! Please, I can’t… I can’t…”

“Возвращение на родину,”

You didn’t realize you were crying until you felt a tickling on your neck. It was excruciating, the very idea of leaving Bucky to suffer through this alone, to be dragged so far back under the surface he couldn’t breathe. What choice did you have? You were no match for the winter soldier. He had teased you about it in training, but he’d never once come at you with his full strength.

Pleading eyes looked up at you, tears threatening to cloud through the shades of blue. It was the only thing that could crumble your resolve. Fingers gently brushed against Bucky’s jawline, hands resting on his cheeks as you pulled him close, pressing your lips against his forehead. It was an intimate gesture, one you’ve never dared to do before this moment. He sighed against you, his own hands wrapping around your wrists. Hours could have passed by in that moment and still, it was gone too soon.

“It’ll be alright, you hear me?” you whispered against his skin. He nodded but you could feel the hesitation in his movement. “We’ll bring you back, Buck, I promise. We won’t let them hurt you.”

“Один,”

Fighting against every instinct demanding you stay, you took off running towards the doors of the gym. In the distance you could see Steve sprinting towards you, dressed in baggy sweatpants and his sleep shirt, shield in hand. He was shouting at you but you couldn’t quite hear him. You were only feet away from the exit when the doors slammed shut in front of you. Through the small window you could see Steve skidding to a stop on the other side.  

“Грузовой вагон,”

You started pounding against the frame, shouting to Steve to open the goddamn doors. Panic started to creep its way through your veins. You hadn’t noticed Bucky had stilled behind you, not with Steve’s muffled shouts through the door, attempting to break through the barrier with his shield. Natasha was just over his shoulder, her gun aimed at the hinges, though both of you knew it would do little against Tony’s lockdown protocols.  

“Доброе утро, солдат.” The voice echoing from the speaker chuckled. Nat’s eyes widened, staring off behind your shoulder. You turned around slowly, knowing exactly what you would find waiting for you and yet the shock of seeing him in such a state still sent a wave of pain through your chest.  

“Я готов отвечать,” Bucky replied, his voice void of emotion. You didn’t know Russian, but this you recognized. Ready to comply. The man standing in front of you was no longer Bucky Barnes. He was not the man you had spent countless nights sparring with when the nightmares kept you up or the man who didn’t shy away when you found yourselves sitting hip to hip on the couch during movie nights. He was not the man who followed you to your room one night, sheepishly asking if he could stay with you when even the hours in the gym wasn’t enough to stop the terrors behind his eyes. He wasn’t the man you had found yourself falling for.  

“Come home, soldat,” the voice purred through the speakers. “Kill anyone who gets in your way.”

Your eyes widened as Bucky took a step towards you. You hadn’t realized you backed up until your back touched the metal doors. Muffled shouting from the other end of the frame was all you could hear as Bucky stared you down, his eyes somehow duller in color, like the vibrancy behind them had been stolen from him. There were more people at the door now. Beams of light shining in through the window was enough to alert you that Tony had arrived. It wouldn’t be long until he could get the door open. You would just have to occupy Bucky in the meantime.

“Wanna spar?” Your voice was stronger than you imagined it would be. If there was a part of you that believed Bucky could hear you, it was naïve, you knew that; but it didn’t stop you from wanting to believe it. A deep breath filled your lungs. Then you charged.  

Bucky was always faster than you, his reflexes smoother, more agile. It came with the serum, you supposed. You propelled yourself from the edge of the ring kicking against the post for momentum as you swung a fist at Bucky. There was no time to worry about whether you’d hurt him. He’d be able to hurt you a thousand times worse.

Bucky grunted as you plunged your elbow into his stomach. His hand snaked around your forearm and yanked it high above your head, using the advantage to punch you hard in the chest. The force of it sent you flying back several feet, your body falling hard against the floor, rolling over twice before you came to a stop.

You groaned at the impact. Your body was already sore before the soldier took his first swing at you from your sparring with Bucky. The burning ache in your chest was enough to outweigh the rest of the pain in your body. It was getting harder to breathe. You suspected you were down a rib. You gritted your teeth, closing your hands back into fists as you stood up.

Running towards Bucky, you let out a scream before you climbed up on his shoulders, using his thighs and hips as jump points. Wrapping your thighs tightly around his neck, you channeled Nat as best you could. Bucky started to flail under you, arms reaching up to drag you down. It didn’t take long before you felt the wall slam hard against your back, your head taking a good part of the hit.

Bucky grabbed you by your elbow and yanked you hard to the ground. Another hit to the side of your head. He waited as you scrambled to your feet, dizziness threatening to take you down before he did as you struggled to see straight. You held up your fists, took a swing, but he ducked it easily. He threw a punch square to your jaw, sending you stumbling back. He stalked forward and sent another to your left eye. Then to your stomach. Another to your side.

You were on the floor, blood dripping from your broken lips as you tried to push yourself back up to your feet through shaky arms only to collapse against the floor. The cool surface, a momentary relief. You glanced up at him, panting, struggling to breathe. He stared down at you, emotionless, expressionless, as his hair fell into his eyes. Slowly, metal fingers reached down and grabbed the collar of your shirt.

“B-Bucky…” you gurgled through the blood pooling in your mouth. He dragged you towards the wall where he held you up against it easily. Your eyes widened as the metal digits moved from the fabric of your shirt to the skin of your neck. “S-Stop…”

He didn’t flinch. Cold eyes stared you down as he started to put pressure to your neck. You gasped, hands flying up to his wrist.

“Bucky, p-please.” You could hardly breathe, let alone speak. Your words were barely intelligible to your own ears but the naïve part of you had hoped there was at least a small part of him that could still break free, that you wouldn’t have to die at Bucky’s hand, staring at the dark, twisted version of man you cared so deeply for. He had done it once before.  

But you weren’t Steve.

His fingers curled tighter around your neck and you started to claw at his chest, his face, anything to make it stop. Heavy weights on your lungs. Unimaginable pressure in your head. It was worse than any nightmare you had ever woken from screaming your throat raw. Bucky showed no emotion as he drained the life from you. You tried to focus on the shades of blue as the darkness started to surround your vision, tunneling in until it was all that remained.

***

The soft sounds of a steady high-pitched beep rose you from your sleep. You groaned as you came to, dull aches throughout your body making it nearly impossible to move. You licked your lips in an attempt to moisten the dry, broken skin there, but winced as you did so, flinching back at the open wound. Opening your eyes, you were met with a blinding white room. It was a familiar one; one you had spent many nights in after grueling missions.

An empty chair sat to your left. A part of you, one bigger than you cared to admit, had hoped he’d be waiting for you to wake. You found yourself missing the sweet relief across Bucky’s face when he’d see you open your eyes for the first time after a mission sent you to this room. He’d be holding your hand, letting go nervously when you’d finally notice. He’d be here. He was always here. The empty chair was suddenly painful to look at.

Beyond the glass wall to your room you could vaguely make out several figures huddled in a corner. You narrowed your eyes in an attempt to clear up your vision. Steve’s shield draped along his back came into view, along with Natasha’s short, slim frame. They were both covered in purple bruising, a red gash evident across the top of Nat’s head, blood in Steve’s hair. Tony was throwing his arms about, his whole body moving with each word he said. He was angry.

A burning sensation stung in your throat as you swallowed. There was a remote around here somewhere, one that would call for Dr. Cho or someone, anyone, to come tell you what the hell happened. Your heart started to beat frantically the longer it took to find it.

Too many thoughts rushed through your mind at once. Where was Bucky? What happened after you blacked out? Was he still in the compound? Did he escape? God, did Hydra have him again? Where is the goddamn remote!

Tears prickled at the corners of your eyes and suddenly it was impossible to breathe. The beeping on the machine was going haywire and you brought your hands to your throat. Your fingers pressed against a soft cushioning encasing your neck. You were suffocating. Ripping the brace away from you, tossing it far across the room did nothing to relieve the rapid breaths and pain filling your chest.

The door to your room swung open and suddenly there were three people surrounding your bed. Natasha was on your left, her hand brushing gently through your hair, whispering words you couldn’t quite make out. Steve was on your right, his hand carefully sneaking into yours as he wrapped both hands around it.

“Breathe, Y/n,” he said softly, giving you his trademark kind, reassuring smile. He nodded as you started to following his breathing the best you could. “Good. You’re doing good, Y/n.”

“B-Bucky?” You choked out. Your voice was nearly gone, broken and raspy as it came out, like it had been carved up and thrown through a blender. You swallowed, wincing at the pain. “W-where’s-“

“It’s okay, Y/n,” Steve cut you off to your relief. “He can’t hurt you.”

You shook your head franticly. You didn’t have the energy to breathe properly, let alone speak. You turned towards Nat, eyes pleading with her. She had known you the longest. Nothing got past her in this compound. She must know about you and Bucky, or at least, whatever you and Bucky were, what you thought – hoped – you were. You could barely define it yourself.

Nat studied you for a moment, eyes narrowing as she tilted her head in thought. She turned to Steve. “That’s not what she meant.”

Steve raised an eyebrow.

Nat sighed, her hand not leaving the crown of your hair for even a beat. Her nails ran gently along your hairline, lulling you back to ease. “She’s asking if he’s okay. She wants to know what happened.”

Steve nodded. “Right, ‘course. Buck’s fine,” Steve paused, pressing his lips into a thin line. “Well, as fine as you’d expect.” A nervous sigh. Then, “You gave us a scare there, Y/n/n. We were able to get through the door pretty soon after you blacked out, but it was close. Took us longer than I’d care to admit before we could knock Bucky out. Thankfully, once he came to, he was himself again. He took one look at you and headed straight to the safe room. He hasn’t come out since.”

“Cho gave him the all clear a few hours ago,” Nat added. “Tony’s been working with a team to track down whoever hacked into FRIDAY’s system. He’s already put in new protections to make sure it can’t happen again.”

You narrowed your eyes, confusion evident on your face. Why was Bucky still in the safe room if he was cleared?

Nat nodded, understanding you as she always did. “He almost killed you, Y/n. If there’s even a chance it can happen again, he’s going to keep himself locked in that room indefinitely. Bucky… He cares about you. I don’t think any of us will be able to convince him to leave that room.” She nodded towards Steve and Tony, who you now noticed was standing in the corner of the room with his arms crossed, observing. A scowl present upon his features.

“She’s saying you’re all that’s gonna convince him he’s not a blood thirsty killing machine,” Tony quipped. He pushed himself off the wall and started to pace around the room. Steve sent him a warning glare, which Tony brushed off with a scoff. “Look, we all know I hold no favor for Barnes and I don’t disagree with how he sees himself, but I know for a fact that’s not how you see him. Besides, that safe room is for emergencies, not a makeshift prison. If he wants to lock himself up, I’ll call the secretary and we’ll revoke his pardon.”

“Tony,” Steve warned again. Tony rolled his eyes.

“You get what I’m saying,” Tony said as he leaned against the edge of the bed. “You focus on getting better. Don’t worry about Barnes. He’s not going anywhere. When you’re ready, just know you’re gonna be met with a brick wall of self-hatred and man pain. That is, if you do wanna see him again after what he just did to you.”

“Jesus, Tony, she gets it,” Steve grumbled.

You nodded, knowing you’d be back at square one with Bucky after what happened. He’d be back to his old self; distant, withholding, untrusting. But you were patient. You’d wait for him.

***

Nearly a week later, your voice came back to you. Dr. Cho still kept you held up in the med bay to monitor the bruising on your throat and to check the damage to your windpipes. It hadn’t been as severe as they originally thought. Turns out it was mostly swelling and once it went down, breathing got a whole lot easier.

You stood at the edge of your bed, pulling a SHEILD crewneck over your head as gently as you could. It still hurt to lift your arms above your head, but if you spent one more minute in that damn hospital gown you were going to lose it. You sighed of relief as you bunched the fabric along your waist. A knock at the door caught your attention and you turned to find Steve standing in its frame.

“Heard you were being discharged,” he said. Though he wore a sheepish smile, there was a lingering concern behind his eyes.

“You wanna know if I’m going to see Bucky.” Your voice was still pretty raspy, but it sounded more like you. Almost as if you had just gotten over a bad cold. Almost.

Steve let out a nervous laugh, but he nodded. “Didn’t know if you wanted company.”

You smiled, crossing the room until you stood next to Steve. You placed your hand on his shoulder. “I’ll be okay, Steve. He won’t hurt me.”

“You seem pretty sure of that,” he said softly. It wasn’t accusatory. If anything, it was statement of relief, like he had been worried you would blame Bucky for what happened. That you would walk away and take with you any semblance of a normal life Bucky had started to know.

“I am,” you replied sincerely. “I know that if he was given the choice, if he had any control, he never would have hurt me, or you, or Nat, or any of us. Just gotta try to convince him of that, right?”

“Right.” Steve nodded. The smile he wore was still a little broken behind the eyes. You squeezed his shoulder and headed towards the elevator.

It was darker on the saferoom floor than you expected. Brick walls lined a single hallway, illuminated only by a string of floor lights. For claiming it wasn’t meant to be a prison, Tony sure was stingy on the lighting, you thought as you made your way down the long corridor.

At the end of the hallway was a massive metal door, bolts surrounding the frame and gears locking it into place. A touch pad was encased in the wall next to it. You tapped on the screen. An image of Bucky came into view. He was sitting at the far corner of the room on the floor, knees to his chest, hands wrapped up in his hair. He was so incredibly still.

“FRIDAY?” you called.

“Yes, Agent Y/l/n?” the comforting voice of the AI replied.

“Can he hear me in there?”

A soft beep rung out and a blinking red light appeared at the corner of the screen. You swallowed.  

“Bucky?”

Bucky’s head snapped up, his eyes darting towards the door. You watched him on the surveillance camera as he shook his head, closing his eyes and put his head back to his knees.

“Bucky, please. Open the door,” you asked gingerly, your hand setting on the cool metal of the door frame, as if touching it would somehow bring him peace. “I just want to make sure you’re okay.”

“You shouldn’t be here,” he mumbled. It was soft, under his breath, but FRIDAY picked it up for you.

“I talked to Tony. I could have FRIDAY override the system, but I,” you paused, taking in a breath to calm your nerves. “I was hoping you’d let me in.”

You watched the screen as Bucky’s head lifted again. From this angle, it was hard to get a good look as his face, but his shoulders slumped. Slowly he stood to his feet, using the wall to help himself along. He took slow, steady steps towards the door until he froze.

“Why did you come here?” You could hear Bucky’s voice through the door, not needing the AI to amplify it for you. He sounded like he was on the verge of tears. “After what I did…”

“Bucky open the door,” you asked again more urgently, feeling the lump burn in the back of your throat. You needed to see him. Tears were prickling in your eyes as you glanced over at the screen. Bucky’s finger was hovering over the green button, but his hand was shaking. After several agonizing minutes, he finally pressed it.

A loud clicking sound echoed through the hallway until a final latch unlocked and the door popped open just wide enough to let a stream of light through. You wrapped your fingers around the edge and pulled it open.

A gasp caught in your lungs as you laid eyes on Bucky. You weren’t able to see it on the screen but he wore a massive cut along his cheek bone, one he probably endured while Steve and the team tried to take down the soldier. It had barely healed, which meant he was refusing treatment from Dr. Cho. The dark circles under his eyes were enough to tell you he had barely been sleeping.

His eyes were focused beneath your own. You wondered for a moment what he was staring at until you remembered the distinct bruising marks on your neck, ones you should have thought to cover up before coming to see him.

“Oh, God,” he whispered, unable to tear his eyes away. A subtle glassiness started to shine over the blue in his eyes. He clenched his jaw, dropping his head. “You shouldn’t be here, Y/n/n.”

“Stop that,” you said, taking a step towards him, knowing he’d only back away. It got you further into the room instead of standing at the door frame at least. “I’m fine, Buck. I’m healing.”

Bucky shook his head as he sat down at the edge of the bed. He ran his fingers through his hair. A nervous habit of his you had grown to recognize.

“I am. I’ve been waiting to get the clear from Cho to come see what the hell you’ve been doing down here for the past week,” you said lightly as you sat down next to him, hoping to get some kind of reaction. You didn’t expect him to turn back towards you with a glare

“How could you even stand to be in here?” Bucky snapped, his voice laced with venom as he stood up. He started pacing back and forth, tucking one hand into his pocket and clenching the other into a fist to stop the shaking. “How can you even bare to be in the same room as me after what I did to you? Are you that naïve? Is that it? Or are you just stupid?”

“Bucky,” you warned as he started chuckling to himself. It was humorless, his dark expression sending a wave of unease in your stomach. Not because you were afraid of him, but because it sat in such contrast to the man you knew.

“I almost killed you, Y/n! Don’t you get that!” Bucky shouted as he threw his metal fist against the wall. You flinched at the sound as Bucky pulled his hand from the crumbling hole. Small pieces of brick fell onto the ground. “You were within inches of your life and if Stark hadn’t broken down the door when he did, I would have succeeded! And- and you don’t even seem to care!”

“I care a lot, actually. I very much prefer being alive,” you replied sternly, folding your arms over your chest.

“Then what the hell are you doing here!” Bucky exclaimed. “Being around me is a death sentence!”

“You know why I’m here, Barnes,” you said slowly, your voice as steady as you could manage it. Bucky stared at you, waiting for you to back down, for you to turn away, or take it back, but you didn’t budge. He knew exactly what you meant. It was the reason why you had fallen into place so easily together, the reason why it was so easy just being around one another, the reason why he was the first person you sought out when you were met with your demons in your sleep.

The reason why he never once turned you away.

Bucky closed his eyes, his body slowly letting go of the tension he carried. He shook his head, clenching his jaw.

“I’m a monster, Y/n/n. You can’t want that.”

“Good thing you’re not a monster then,” you said gently. You stood, slowly moving across the room until you were right in front of him. His eyes were trained on the floor, his hair falling into his face. You moved your hand forward incredibly slow, enough that he would see it coming and he could back away if he needed to. When he didn’t, you let your fingers brush against his, tapping against them until he opened the palm of his flesh hand to you, allowing you to intertwine your fingers.

“You are a good man, James Barnes,” you said. You used your free hand to brush away the hair from his face, tucking it behind his ear. “You did everything you could to keep me from getting hurt. You begged me to leave when I had the chance. I know the last thing you wanted was to hurt anyone. I know that.”

Bucky nodded, his eyes slowly moving up to meet yours, though he froze on the bruising along your neck. Instinctively his metal hand reached up to touch it, but he pulled back the second he realized what he was doing.

“Buck, it’s okay,” you whispered, giving him a slight nod.

Bucky licked his lips nervously. His hand moved at agonizing pace until he let it sat against your collarbone. He swallowed, his eyes darting up to yours as if he was seeking permission. You smiled encouragingly and nodded. He bit on his lower lip as his fingertips brushed against the bruising; dark purple and blue in the shape of his own hand.

“Does it hurt?”

You shook your head. Bucky let his hand fall back to his side. When he started staring at the floor again, you squeezed his hand, hoping to bring him back.

“Bucky, I-“

“I can’t ever lose you,” he said suddenly. “You know that, don’t you?”

“Of course, Buck,” you replied gently.

He nodded nervously. You could feel him squeezing and releasing your hand repeatedly, like it was a calming mechanism for him. He lifted his head, bringing himself to meet your eyes. You swore every ounce of pain you had in your body left the moment you found vibrant shades of blue staring back at you.

“When I saw what I did to you… I thought that I…” Bucky pressed his lips together, unable to finish the thought. He sighed, trying to pull himself back together. “I don’t have a lot of good in my life. I haven’t in a long time. But then Stevie found me and he convinced me to come with him and join this ridiculous group of people and… and then I met you.”  

You felt your heart skip a beat as Bucky gently set his hand against your cheek, the cool metal sitting in contrast to the warmth of your skin.

“You are what’s good in my life, doll,” Bucky said, his voice just above a whisper, like the words had fallen in a gentle exhale, like it was relief just saying the words aloud. “I can’t ever lose you. Not like that. Not by my own hand.”

“I know,” you sighed, your hand reaching up to hold his wrist as his thumb brushed against your cheekbone. “I’m not going anywhere.”

“You made that pretty clear,” Bucky said with a soft chuckle. You had almost forgotten how sweet he sounded as he laughed. “Don’t think I’ll ever stop being surprised at that.”

“You find it so hard to believe I want to be around you?” you asked, a smirk behind your lips.

“I find it hard to believe you want someone as damaged as me, doll.” His voice was soft, teasing, with a half-etched smile but it fell away quickly. He swallowed.

There was something so incredibly comforting about standing this close to Bucky, hands intertwined, the brush of his cool metal fingers against your flushed cheeks. He brought you the kind of relief you had never been able to find at the bottom of a bottle or at the end of your fist. This man, who thought so little of himself, was more to you than you’d ever be able to admit aloud. The way he was touching you, comforting you, in the silence of the saferoom was the most intimate contact you’d allowed for yourself in years. There had been men, but none like Bucky, none that you’d let stand this close and watch you through kind, nervous eyes.

“I’ll always want you, Buck.”

It was the easiest thing you’d ever said.

Bucky exhaled, like he had been holding his breath for days. A sad smile urged to lift the corners of his lips though it didn’t quite make it. It’d take longer than a few stolen moments in the privacy of this saferoom to convince him he deserved what you longed to give him. His hand snaked around to the back of your neck, pulling you closer towards him until his lips sat against your forehead. He didn’t let go, not for a while.

For now, it was enough.

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