#in the genjutsu your screaming and crying and spilling out all the state secrets???

[leafyloveslaughing]

is a genjutsu a trick of the eye or a trick of the mind?? like, say a blind person gets stuck in one would they only feel and hear what's going on or will they also 'see' it if technically all that is happening is an illusion, a very vivid imagination casted inside your own head??? almost like your dreaming but- oh wow this hurts a lot-

[aninconsistentwriter]

and with a slow crescendo, my world explodes “Naruto”

or... read it here on Ao3!

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Naruto knew from a very young age that his soulmate was someone who was very very sad. That was the only way he could describe the sounds in his head. He hadn’t known what they were until he started attending the academy and Iruka-sensei taught them about soulmates and soulmate songs. 

“Everyone has a song in their head,” his teacher had said. “The song is meant to guide you to your soulmate. Until you meet them, the melody is incomplete. But when you meet your soulmate for the first time, the melody is completed and that is how you know you’ve found your soulmate.”

“But Iruka-sensei, how do you know the melody is completed?” a young Sakura had asked, glancing shyly at the raven-haired boy seated next to her.

“No one can truly explain it, Sakura-chan. People have described it as an overwhelming feeling of completeness. The song changes and you can feel it.”

Naruto had wondered if he would ever meet the person who caused such a sad song to play in his head.

Once, when they were on an overnight mission, his genin team decided to discuss their soulmate songs. Sakura had described hers as if spring had a voice, soft staccatos and uplifting. She hummed for a moment and Naruto smiled at her. He was glad her song was such a happy one. 

Sasuke had surprised them by describing his song as sweet. Lilting notes that blended into each other to create a beautiful melody. 

His teammates looked at him, waiting for him to describe his song. Naruto had merely said “they’re sad” before Sakura had pulled him into a fierce hug. Sasuke whispered an apology to him. 

That night changed their friendships forever. 

It was when he opened the hotel door and saw red and black eyes staring down at him that he understood why the song in his head was so sad. Before he could truly realize what was happening his head exploded with sound. Iruka-sensei had been both right and wrong. The sad, haunting melody in his head was still there but now it was just so much more. There was more to it, a harmony for the soft melody filled with discordant notes that left him wanting to cry from the ache they created. 

The eyes that bore into his own widened with acknowledgement and grief. But it was all brought to a harsh pause when Sasuke’s voice resounded down the hallway and Naruto realized this was the man Sasuke wanted to kill. 

Naruto didn’t talk about what had happened until several days later, when Jiraiya and he were relaxing in the onsen during their journey back to Konoha. “Who were those men at the hotel,” he asked.

“They are part of an organization trying to collect the tailed beasts like Kyubbi.”

“Why did Sasuke attack the one man?”Jiraiya sighed, “has Sasuke ever explained to you what happened to his clan?” Naruto shook his head in response. “That man is his older brother, Itachi. A few years ago, Itachi killed their entire clan except for Sasuke.”

Naruto looked down at the steaming water that surrounded him, the haunting song loud and clear in his head. “Oh,” he turned towards his mentor, “that man is my soulmate.”

They didn’t discuss it, after that one conversation. He supposed Jiraiya felt it would be too painful for the young boy. Afterall, his soulmate was a mass murderer who had killed his entire family except his younger brother, who happened to be Naruto’s teammate and best friend.

Also, his soulmate worked for an organization who were actively trying to kill him.

It was all a little painful, if Naruto was honest with himself. And yet, the song inside his head played on.

The dreams started shortly after that. Meeting your soulmate so close to puberty did Naruto no favors when it came to his nightly dreams. He’d only had such a brief time to look at his other half and yet his dreams were so vivid, filled with creamy skin and a deep voice. The whole situation was driving Naruto mad.

Relief only came with heartbreak, however. The maddening dreams subsided as Naruto was forced to focus on training with Jiraiya in order to bring Sasuke back. So, Naruto pushed the melody in his head to the back of his mind and focused on becoming stronger and Naruto never mentioned his soulmate to Jiraiya during the three years.

Naruto decided to tell Sakura when he came back. Her own song had been completed when they met Rock Lee the first time, surprisingly. While neither had been pursuing a romantic relationship with each other when Naruto had left, he returned to find them comfortably together. It was a relief for him, that at least one of his teammates was happy.

So, after they had beaten Kakashi at the revamped bell test Naruto spilled his secret to his best friend. She cried with him, for him, as they sat together. It was the first time Naruto had allowed himself to cry about his situation. It felt like a weight had been lifted off his chest, like he maybe now he could move forward. At least, that’s what he thought until he was facing his soulmate again just a few days later. 

It was the first time he heard his name fall from his soulmate’s lips, Naruto realized dazedly. “Naruto-kun, I am sorry,” Itachi’s rich voice reached his ears and Naruto felt that he could weep all over again. He wanted to curl up on the ground and weep as the melody in his head grew louder in the presence of his soul’s other half. Instead he harshly bit the inside of his cheek until it bled and forced himself forward with a rasengan. 

He wanted to cry even more when he realized he had been placed under a genjutsu.

But he didn’t cry, he didn’t even curse his soulmate when they discovered it had been an impersonation jutsu. Instead he just kept going, fighting his way to save Gaara.

It was when all was said and done, Gaara brought back and the Konoha shinobi were making their way back to their village that Sakura approached him. With Lee suitably preoccupied by his latest insane self-challenge, Sakura walked next to her blonde teammate in silence for a while. Eventually though her hand slipped into his and she asked him, “are you okay?”

Naruto squeezed her hand tightly before releasing it, “no, I’m not. But I suppose I will be. I have no other choice.” And if a couple of tears escaped his eyes this time? Well no one said anything to him. 

Naruto fell into a routine. He completed missions and trained. He got to know Sai and Yamato. He saw Sasuke again for the first time in three years. He trained more, he trained harder. He hung out with his friends and allowed himself to laugh. Eventually, the melody quieted enough that he felt that he could breathe a little bit easier again. 

Jiraiya apparently had told Kakashi as the man asked him about it one day during training. “How are you dealing with it, Naruto?”

The blonde closed his eyes tightly, willing the song back into the corners of his mind where he could ignore it. He forced his eyes open wide and smiled at his sensei, “I’m just fine, Kaka-sense! What are you talking about?”

Kakashi didn’t ask again.

Naruto was fine. He was surviving. He was getting stronger and things were great. That’s what he told himself when the melody was too loud or too haunting. He was going to bring Sasuke back and it didn’t matter that he was doomed to have a soulmate he could never be with. It didn’t matter. What mattered was protecting his precious people and becoming Hokage. 

It was like a mantra in his head, intertwined with the ever present song. Somehow the idea that capturing Itachi would be the best way to bring Sasuke back to the village was decided. Naruto wanted to scream in frustration. It was as if Fate had decided to continue playing cruel jokes on him, over and over and over again. He couldn’t escape the raven haired man who starred in his dreams and who’s song played constantly in his head.

Naruto could feel both Sakura and Kakashi looking at him, waiting for him to object. Instead he plastered on his best determined smile and told Tsunade to plan the mission.

That was how Naruto found himself alone with his soulmate for the first time in the four years since their melody had completed itself. “I promise I won’t harm you, Naruto-kun. I only wish to speak with you.” 

Naruto looked into black eyes, realizing it was another first between the two. I’ve never seen him without his Sharingan activated, the jinchuuriki thought. “Tell me, Itachi-san, does it hurt for you as much as it does for me?” He clenched his shirt in the area above his heart, feeling the familiar ache settling there, the one that always came when he listened to the music too closely.

“I am sorry, Naruto-kun. It was never my wish for you to be involved in this mess.”Naruto scoffed at that, “you talk as if we ever get to choose who our soulmates are. I’m used to Fate treating me like a punching bag. I’m a jinchuuriki and an orphan. Of course my soulmate would be tragic as well.” His laugh was bitter and cold.

Itachi frowned at him, “tell me Naruto, you are alone. Why don’t you run?”

“I can go from one to a thousand in an instant, I am never alone. Besides, if I capture you then I get to see Sasuke!” There, move the topic away from us. Focus on Sasuke. Focus on what you CAN change!

Sharingan eyes flashed at him and Naruto wanted to scream at the sight of them. Itachi’s eyes were far more beautiful in their natural state. “What is your attachment to my little brother?”

“He is my best friend. He is like a brother to me! I will bring him back to the village where he belongs!”

Naruto could have sworn that Itachi smiled at his response. “And if he doesn’t come willingly? Or what if he were to try and attack Konoha? What would you do then, Naruto-kun?”

“Why would he attack the village?”

“Sasuke is still naive. He could be painted many colors by those who wish harm. Would you protect the village against him?”

Naruto was confused, this conversation had taken a turn he hadn’t been able to predict. “I’ll bring him back and protect the village!”

The raven haired man chuckled at him, the sound surprising Naruto even further, “you are still so naive as well. Still, it cannot be helped.” Itachi walked up to him and placed a finger under Naruto’s chin. The touch sent an electric spark down the blonde’s spine and he had to force himself not to shiver. “Things are going to start moving quickly and I am sorry that you are stuck in the middle of it all. I am leaving Sasuke in your care, Naruto-kun.” Itachi leaned in, placing his lips firmly against the younger’s. 

Their melody crescendoed in Naruto’s head and his knees felt weak. He pushed up to meet the Uchiha’s firm lips, deepening the kiss with a small gasp. Itachi’s tongue traced the seam of Naruto’s lips softly before he leaned back with a sad sigh, separating the two. Naruto opened his eyes, not realizing he had closed them to begin with, and his world flashed red. 

“I am leaving you with a gift, Naruto. I wish things could have been different between us,” Itachi’s voice echoed around him before Naruto saw a crow fly towards him. It’s beak forced its way between his lips before making the trip down his throat, all while Naruto struggled not to choke. When the red world faded, he dropped to his knees and looked up at the other man. His eyes were black once again and Naruto forced himself to memorize the image before him. “Goodbye, Naruto-kun,” Itachi said before he disappeared and left Naruto alone. 

Kiba found him shortly after that, still on his hands and knees staring at the grass. The blonde boy got up and placed a mask on his face, ignoring his buzzing lips and the discordant notes inside his head. He pushed aside the sense of impending doom Itachi left in his wake and focused on the task at hand. He gave a terse nod to his teammate and off they went, searching for his soulmate’s wayward brother.

It was later that day, when they were all trying to figure out the mystery that was the orange masked Akatsuki member, that it happened. The strange plant-like man who Tobi addressed as Zetsu appeared with an odd apology for interrupting. He looked at Tobi before announcing “Uchiha Itachi is dead. Sasuke killed him.” 

Naruto fell to the ground as a strangled scream ripped from his throat.