#in that one universe where Bomba is straight

[munkustance]

Munkustrap & Alonzo: *kissing*

Tugger & Mistoffelees: *kissing*

Mungojerrie & Coricopat: *kissing*

Bombalurina: All the hot guys are either taken or gay.

Pouncival: I AM RIGHT HERE!

[impeccablebackside]

what would be a specific pose you would like to see each queen doing?

That is a great question anon. Thanks for sending the first ask of June too. Please let me know what or who you were thinking about.

I am a pretty basic bitch when it comes to any specific pose for the queens because I think they are all hot enough that it does not really matter much. I am sure it goes without saying that some are spicier than others though.

Universally, at least for me, any variation of them on all fours, bent over, or on their back with the legs spread would be considered the top tier. Some suit certain queens better that others, but very little would be as hot as any of those positions. For every queen, the above answers apply in addendum to what i may elaborate on below.

Anyway, I will be honest and say that many of my choices for these are essentially poses that the characters do at some point during the show or based on backstage photos. It may be too on-the-nose for some, but who cares. As a handy aid, I will try provide images to illustrate so that we are all on a similar page.

Victoria would rarely look better than she does when she does the leg raise during the solo. Basically poppin' that beautiful pussy (even though it would not really open much becuase she is tight) for all to see. Truthfully the entirety of the white cat solo is a hightlight reel of how spectacular Vic is and how fuckable position wise she is (and just maybe there has ironically been more to come on this topic for a long while anon, but with incredibly slow progress. It is eventually coming though).

For Rumple it would undoubtedly be with her sitting on her perfect ass, legs either spread wide open like she does during her song or legs up raised up high and spread open. Either way, the intent and focus is pretty clear and I would (probably) give anything to be fucking her silly like that or have my face buried in her pussy.

For Tanto, it is not much of anything too special. I would be reluctant to say that any position would best her simply laying on her back fully on display. An appreciation for her full bodied beauty worthy of attention. It would make it all the more rewarding too if she were to tease a bit and rub at her lovely pussy too. Have this photo just because:

With Cass it unquestionably would be her laying on her side, arms holding her up chest up. Imagine someone of divinity presenting themselves on one of those ornate chaise lounge sofa things. Mind you, Cass prone (as in on her stomach), legs straight back behind her is pretty good too. Both show off her long legs and perfect body wonderfully.

For Bomba, it would be a specific pose that she does during her first lines in Macavity. That sensual walk down with arms above her head, like she is actually posing for a photo.

For Deme, I do not really have something in mind. I think it would be swell to be on my knees with her standing above me, so that is about it.

With Jenny, I am imagining her on her back, knees bent so that her feet paws are flat on a bed, and legs spread open. She would be pulling her fat pussy open with her paws as an offering.

For Jelly, there is no preference. Anything works more or less, but I will always defer to how hot she is a Griddle. There is a part of (past) shows where she would be on all fours shaking her ass and that is peak to me.

[sybright]

My Favorite Cats Ships

Okie dokie, @whitmerule wanted to know my main ships/pairings and I knew I’d have to make a post dedicated to this at some point so here it is lol (also sorry this is so long). My “main” universe, which is what all of my main pairings are in, is based on the ‘98 film for the most part (although really all of my universes are based on the ‘98 film, just with alterations here and there). 

Edit: My preferences have changed somewhat, so I’ve edited this list to reflect my current feelings towards certain pairings. This means that I’ve deleted some pairings that I don’t like much anymore, and have added some new ones :). All of these ships are in no particular order btw.

Main Pairings:

Tuggoffelees 

-I know it’s super popular and there’s loads of content on them, but I still stan. I don’t love them AS much as I used to, but they were my first ship in this fandom, and therefore are still very important to me. 

Demebombastrap 

-In terms of individual pairings, I really like Demelurina and Bombastrap on their own, but I like them best all together. I used to be quite fond of Demestrap by itself, but I’ve gotten pretty tired of that ship over time personally (obviously nothing against people who like this pairing a lot, kudos to y’all who love Demestrap ^^), so I’m not that big a fan of them on their own anymore. In order of the individual pairings I like best: Demelurina first, Bombastrap second, and Demestrap not so much.

Skimblegus (Skimbleshanks/Asparagus Jr., NOT Gus the theatre cat, I see the two of them as separate characters in most productions).

Jellydots (Sweet lesbian grandmas <3).

Tumblejem 

-This is my self-projection asexual pairing, leave me alone lol. They give me bestie vibes and I love that for them <3.  

Platoriateazer 

-This is a bit of a rarepair, but it is one of my main ships, I see Teazer and Plato as platonic partners and Tori as their mutual gf. Alternatively, I like Victeazer and Platoria on their own as well, although I like Victeazer a bit more than Platoria, but I prefer them all together.

And that’s about it for my “main” pairings, here’s a list of my alternate pairings/rarepairs that I love too much for my own good.

Alternate Pairings/Rarepairs:

Demandra 

-No longer my main blog’s url, but they have their own blog now and therefore are still ridiculously important to me XD. This is my fave rarepair, and might also be even MORE of a self-projection asexual pairing for me than they were before. I’ll say it once, this is my ultimate comfort pairing. 

Plonzostrap (Plato/Alonzo/Munkustrap, alternatively, I like Alonzostrap and Plonzo on their own as well, although I haven’t put that much thought into Munklato on its own).

Platoricopat (Cats Zurich got me obsessed with this concept, and @whitmerule’s gifs are are just *chef’s kiss*).

George/Etcetera/Electra 

-I don’t really have a ship name for this, and also this particular pairing is very complicated and I’ll try to explain it as best I can. George and Etcetera are romantic partners, Etcetera and Electra are queer-platonic partners (I see Electra as aromantic), and George and Electra are platonic partners. This is technically a main pairing for me, but it’s sort of rare and complicated in its dynamics so I put it down here. Also, I adopted the hc that George is a Pollicle btw.

Oh and just as an aside, I also really like Elecctera and Etceorge on their own, but I probably slightly prefer Elecctera, I just love the queer-platonic besties vibes of them <3. 

Mungocavity (This is in a scenario where Macavity is less evil and more of a dumbass, but I really like this pairing. It would be one of my main pairings if my main universe Macavity wasn’t complete shit).  

Jemtoria

-One of my newer ships, I usually see Tori and Jem as being somewhat far apart in age, so this is in a scenario where Jem’s a bit aged up and Tori’s a bit aged down. I love everything about this pairing. Considering how much Jem and Tori interact with each other in the show, this ship has so much potential to me. They’re just so soft and they make me really happy <3. 

Tuggoffeleteazer

-Once upon time I didn’t think I’d ever ship Tugger or Misto with really anyone but each other, but times change. Initially, I got very interested in the idea of Rumpletugger (which I still quite like on it’s own), but then later became intrigued by the idea of Mistoteazer (and all the shenanigans they’d get up to, both being mischievous and chaotic), so of course this led to me just putting all three of them together XD. I love this trio so much, they just give “bestie vibes ONLY” type of energy, and feel like a super chaotic friend group, and that makes me really happy. 

Bombbella

-I’m not even sure how to explain what led me to becoming so attached to this ship XD. I had seen people mention it being a neat concept in passing, but I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone who actually truly ships them. I basically got into this ship through my “Jellicle leader Griz” au thing, which is an au where Griz is the oldest of Deuteronomy’s children and was expected to become the next Jellicle leader. She’s much younger in this au than how I typically see her, so the newer Griz design fits well in this scenario. I just got really into the idea of Griz and Bomba being tragic ex-lovers. 

They dated for a long time in their teens, broke up for a few years, and then got back together again when they had matured, and then Griz went and abandoned the tribe (as well as Bomba) to see the world and pursue her dream of being a star. Griz returned eventually, but the damage had been done, and Bomba was far from ready to forgive her. In the end though, she does forgive Griz, as does everyone else, but then Griz goes on to be reborn, and they miss their chance at happily being together. It’s just all in all a really fun concept for me to play around with, and has so much angst potential. 

Jellycass

-Not a new ship, quite the opposite actually. This is a ship that I usually don’t think much about (hence why it wasn’t here when I first made this list), but whenever I do, I always feel at peace inside lol. I can’t for the life of me find the post that got me into this ship (trust me, I have searched ALL over tumblr for it, I looked through both Jellylorum’s and Cassandra’s ENTIRE tags and still couldn’t find it), but I saw a post when I was first getting into the Cats fandom that talked about how Jelly and Cass would be this sort of “odd couple” that the tribe didn’t really understand, but clicked super well with each other for some reason. 

Even though I only ever saw that one post on them for a long time, I grew really attached to the ideas it presented for Jellycass. I like the age gap concept in particular, with my personal idea of it being Cass in her late twenties to early thirties, and Jelly being in her late thirties to early forties. It really heightens the “odd couple” energy of them, and I can see Cass getting along really well with someone older. Troika provides me all the rights for this ship <3. 

Some Extra Stuff:

Even though I like Platoria as an individual ship, and ship them to a degree, I’m not super interested in them. They’re a bit bland for me if I’m being honest. I like seeing them on my dash, but I won’t actively seek out content of them, so please don’t tag me in stuff surrounding them if you don’t mind (obviously this doesn’t apply to their poly equivalent). I used to include Demestrap in this section, but now I’m really not all that fond of them, I really only like them together in a poly scenario, like Demebombastrap or even Demelonzostrap. 

There’s a bunch of ships that I categorize as “I like it, but I don’t ship it,” and that’s where ships like Munkujerrie and Alonzoffelees fall. They’re ships that I enjoy as concepts, and that I would probably read fanfic about if given the opportunity (and like fanart of), but I don’t necessarily ship them. So you don’t need to tag me for them. 

The only ships that I just straight up don’t like, although I have nothing against people who like them, are Tuggerlurina, Mistoria, Skimbledots, and Jellygus, Tuggerlurina being the one I dislike the most. I just scroll past content of them if I see it on my dash, I thought I should probably list them here cause idk, might be useful to @whitmerule to know which ships I really don’t like. 

Note: I don’t see any of the characters I listed here as being biologically related, some people hc Deme and Bomba as sisters, or Etcetera and Electra as being twins, I don’t see this personally (In fact I have a whole bunch of family hcs that I’ll probably save for another post, if anyone even wants to read that lol). 

And now for my favorite 2019 movie pairings (which I also don’t see any of them as being biologically related), because they’re sort of relevant since I’m listing pairings and stuff so I feel like putting them here too:

2019 Movie Main Pairings

Mistoriastraps 

-This is the ONLY scenario where I like Misto and Tori together. I only like it when it’s in the 2019 movie, and only if it’s with Munk, those are my two requirements lol. I think Munktoria and Munkoffelees are really cute too, but I don’t care for them that much, I like them best all together.

Demandra (I see their relationship very differently in the movie, and I prefer their stage-show relationship, but as always, I love them). 

Tantojerrie 

-I know they don’t really interact in the movie, but I saw people talking about them as a ship on here, and I just think they’d be really cute. Technically Tanto is implied to be kitten age in the movie, but I imagine this as a post-movie, next Jellicle Ball type scenario. I see Tanto as being on the cusp of adulthood, where she’ll probably be an adult at the next Jellicle Ball, and I see Jerrie as being a very young adult, so they’re not far apart in my mind (plus I see Jellicles, being cats and all, aging differently than humans, so this isn’t as odd to me as it might be to other people).

2019 Movie Alternate Pairings:

These are just my alternate pairings for Misto, Tori, and Munk if Mistoriastraps doesn’t happen lol:

Tuggoffelees

-I’ve adopted the hc that they’re ex-boyfriends in the 2019 movie, and I like to imagine that they’ve sorted things out post-movie and got back together.

Victeazer

Skimblestrap

That’s about it for my ships. Thank you for reading if you got this far lol. 

[elencelebrindal]

Question if all of Saint Seiya took place on Real Life? What would be the consequences of the heroes and Villians? And how the public would respond to them?

Buckle up, this is a long answer. I wrote this with a terrible neck pain and slight headache though, so I apologize for eventual mistakes (grammar, form, whatever) I made. 

Right off the bat, I can tell you: the public would not be pleased with it. Realistically speaking, who would ever want people capable of flicking their finger and cause a nuclear-like explosion living next door? Let’s see this in perspective. The most (physically) powerful bomb ever recorded, the Tsar Bomba, was so strong it was able to reach a distance up to 900 km (obviously that distance only partially broke some glass or windows, not really destroyed anything). And this is among the most powerful man-made artifacts. A Saint could easily surpass that level of power. There’s Saints that have a cosmo so strong it could easily destroy a star. A star.  Put three of them together, now. They are capable of unleashing as much power as the Big Bang. Imagine what would happen to the entire freaking universe (or something along those lines) if that technique goes wrong.  Imagine what a Saint could do if they suddenly go crazy and want to destroy humanity, or the entire planet. They could easily do that. 

And now, count how many of these warriors are out there. Count how many of them could pull off a mass-destruction strike with ease. 

Take into consideration all the natural disasters that happen when deities get angry. Take into consideration all the Holy Wars against Hades, and the absolute destruction the planet endures every time there’s a battle between these warriors.  And if you don’t want to look at the more “physical” state of things, take a look at how the Saints train. Those are children that are thrown onto the battlefield to learn how to live just so they can die in battle once they’re older. Think about all the whiplash something like this could cause if the public gets to know it. Gets to know their training places or their training regimes. 

Not only that, to an outsider eye the society of these warriors could appear as incredibly violent and oppressive. If they don’t know what’s going on, why those rules are there and why they need to be applied like that, people will be angry about it. Maybe a small amount of people, but there’s still going to be problems surfacing here and there.  Let’s not forget: killing is normal for them. Saints, Marina, Specters, there’s not a single one of this armies that thinks killing is inherently wrong. Bloodshed is so normal for them that no one outside their society can understand what the hell is going on in their minds. Sure, there’s the odd one every now and then (Shun is a perfect example), but it’s not like they’re saying “I’m against it, so I’m not doing it”. They’re still doing it, but with much more resentment.  And, this is probably one of the most itchy spots of the system, talking about how the Saints tackle the fact they have women in their lines there is going to be so much anger.  I can already hear the protests against the mandatory masks (ironic as of now, I know) for women. There’s not enough understanding to be able to avoid that kind of problems.  Sure, you might say “but it’s always been like that, so the public should’t react so badly”, but here’s the thing: people don’t care about history and traditions if they don’t understand it. And yeah, the entire mask ordeal might or might not seem right, but civilians are not going to get the reasoning behind it. It’s the same thing that happens in real life, with people assuming left and right, people straight up offending or not caring, and just a few good human beings taking their time to learn. 

In a perfect imaginary world, where Saint Seiya exists with all its fair share of heroes and villains, everything would go like in the anime. People just excited to watch them fight, not really caring about the consequences.  In a real world, however, this is never going to happen. 

On a more complex level, think about all the politic stuff that’s going to happen. You want Athena being the head of your independent land? Sure, but there’s a ton of responsibilities coming with that. And if Athena happens to also be the head of a very influential and large company, things get even more difficult to manage.  Just try to imagine the unending chaos Poseidon must have caused when he took control of Julian’s body and left everything to go underwater. Imagine the sheer terror people feel every time there’s a flood, or an earthquake, or an explosion, because they never know if that’s natural or not.  Imagine how traumatic is for someone who lives right next to the place where these warriors fight continuous battles, all the shockwaves coming to their door.  Because yes, there’s going to be actual consequences to those battles. Animation is fun because there’s no need to show what a Galaxian Explosion would actually do to the Gemini Saint’s surroundings, but real life? Yeah, that’s a detonation of pure physical and cosmic power, there’s no way people are not experiencing it even kilometres away.  And that’s probably the lamest example I could find. 

Think about some villain choosing to destroy a city. How many people would die, there? How many people would be forced to watch, helpless, as they hope for someone to come and save them? And when that help comes, what’s going to do if not destroy everything even more?  Damage is damage, whether it’s a hero or a villain causing it. Lives are going to be ended and/or ruined in those fights. And those fights happen again and again, because the story always repeats itself.  Shiryu’s horrified reaction at Deathmask’s carelessness would be the reaction of every single person that witnesses or hears about the sheer amount of destruction and loss that would be recorded at the end.  Emotional and physical scarring don’t go away easily. 

We can also go a little bit the psychological route, here.  Would you actively trust to live on the same planet as someone who’s able to raise a single finger and kill you? No weapons needed. Would you actively feel safe knowing there’s people around you that can move at the speed of light, able to literally rip you to shreds with ease or just do anything they want because nothing can stop them? What do you have? Only the reassurance that all those people are good and fight for humanity.  Nothing else.  You just have to believe those insanely strong warriors are not going to kill you just because they can. That they are not going to take advantage of their abilities.  People don’t work like that. 

I, myself, don’t work like that.  If I knew that in this moment, on this planet, there’s someone out there capable of pointing their finger at me and kill me, I would not simply trust them to be good.  Moreover, there’s history of good guys betraying to become bad guys.  An amazing warranty, I’d say. 

The consequences of these heroes and villains existing in real life would be absolutely catastrophic.  No one wants to live in constant fear of some deity getting bored and deciding to start a war. No one wants to live knowing disaster is always around the corner. Humanity already fears itself, there’s no need to make it worse. 

Would you trust a Saint that’s able to freeze you in a block of eternal ice, or another one that’s capable of raising his hand and using it like a sword? Would you trust someone that could send you to another dimension? Someone able to shatter the ground with a simple punch? No one’s going to fully feel safe around people having so much power. Laws and prohibitions? Those are nothing to a person that could kill you by snapping their fingers.  The governments of the entire world trying to keep them in check would be nothing but a fly under a giant electrified fly-swatter. Said governments would also be trying to reason literal gods. Can you imagine sitting down at a table and being presented with a god? A god you have to convince to keep their warriors under control? To be at peace with the rest of the world? Yeah, me neither. 

In short, at least in my opinion, realistic fiction is the closest thing you can have without causing mayhem.

[ophelia-thinks]

do whichever ones you want obvs: top 5 farscape moments, top 5 w359 episodes, top 5 times black sails invented gay rights, top 5 colors, top 5 poems as of right now-ish

lkajsdf you KNOW ME these are literally all so good

i’m just gonna do the first two rn because this is already. very long.

top 5 farscape moments:

welcome to my cold war! peak john crichton/john crichton manifesto. i know i’ve already made approximately 200 posts about this specific scene & there’s not much more i can say about it without sounding like a broken record but oh i adore it so much. all those shots of him from below, the camera distorting his height, obscuring his face, letting him have the power back, if only for a moment. even when the national anthem plays it isn’t mocking him.

in the first part of “into the lion’s den” when braca’s giving crais shit about being a defector (kinda. i think the peacekeepers’ cruelty to him in ITLD is less about Betrayal and more about Failure but that’s another post.) and crais just goes “you are a consummate peacekeeper.” i think you can draw a straight line from the look on braca’s face when he says that to his decision to remain loyal to scorpius, even long after there’s ceased to be anything in it for him. like you don’t expect him to get it at all, but he does, he takes it exactly how crais meant it, and then like half a season later scorpius is the one who’s fallen from power and braca’s staging a coup against pk leadership. “you are a consummate peacekeeper” is braca’s “you can be more” and if that’s not the saddest fuckin’ thing you’ve ever heard. god.

…and maybe it was a kind of catalyst for crais, too. i’m obsessed with the scene right before he suicide-bombs the base, when he tells john what he’s going to do. “i do. i will. i hope you can believe that.” i love it when john’s torturers fall in love with him. (honorable mention is the crais/aeryn scene in “the choice.” the way he looks at her and the way he looks at john… the way he closes his eyes when she touches him, every time. i want to claw my eyes out.)

“everything old is new again.” i have this thing about how the ending of “la bomba” should’ve been the last scene of the entire series. not that there isn’t shit that i love in pkw, but there’s something really perfect about john confessing his sins to aeryn like he’s asking for her forgiveness—except he isn’t, they’re on totally equal footing, there’s not even such a thing as the moral high ground in their world anymore. this is just… who he is now. what he is. and she loves him; that’s his happy ending. that’s all you get, and it is still the last thing in the universe left sacred.

every single time chiana and john stand close to each other i feel like i am staring into the face of god.

top 5 w359 episodes:

VARIATIONS ON A THEME. lovelace back in that same old haunted house with a brand-new haunted body. she’s basically just raised a middle finger to the universe and yelled ISABEL LOVELACE WAS HERE! and resurrection is a curse, a fuck you right back. lovelace is crichton at the end of the line, she’s ripley in Aliens, she’s everyone’s final girl—bluebeard’s eighth wife, the one who figured out where all the ghosts were hidden and even now still hears them beating against the walls. the only part of her story that survived was the monster; everything else is just… static.

HAPPY ENDINGS. guys, this episode fucks. it has everything. lovelace pumping iron at 2 in the morning. hilbert being like “i found the bomb you’re secretly building on the space station we’re all trapped on. do you want some fertilizer?” when she calls him a cockroach and he calls her Isabel. more Farscape 359 #cinematic parallels: hilbert “begging” for her forgiveness a la scorpius in pkw; cutter’s fake personality chip unveiling the w359-verse version of the Aurora chair. “this is a dark room. if you put a gun to my head i might even say… a very dark room.” exactly the kind of brutal tragicomic character-driven “holy shit, what’s that noise?” episode w359 excels at.

DIRTY WORK. easily the worst thing about jacobi is that in a lot of ways maxwell was the best thing that ever happened to him, and this is the episode where they just completely pull back the curtain and force you to deal with that, and not even in like a cutesy “banter between bad guys played for laughs” way, but in a much deeper, sadder, “he loved her so much he can’t even justify to her killer what his grief for her makes him do” way. it’s actually also one of my favorite minkowski-and-lovelace episodes, even tho their relationship isn’t the focus: “oh, i knew we forgot about something!”

MUTUALLY ASSURED DESTRUCTION. the return of captain isabel lovelace. she didn’t ask to be this horror story’s beating heart, but the simple act of her survival blows the narrative wide open. nothing was ever the same again. the fact that it’s a very deliberate homage to the aforementioned “welcome to my cold war” scene from Farscape is something i’ve been working into every conversation i’ve ever had since the november of 2015.

THINGS THAT BREAK OTHER THINGS. approximately once a month i remember “who wouldst thou serve?” / “you.” and i just go absolutely apeshit. kepler thinking he’s fuckin 007 bribing the bartender to get jacobi’s attention. jacobi: “sir, you left your card here! with your name and number on it!” [minkowski in Constructive Criticism voice] “hey, jacobi, how did you end up in the terrorism division of the world’s most evil megacorporation?” jacobi [vivid flashback to kepler hitting on him at a bar and jacobi drunkenly trying to impress him by telling him about how good he is at mass murder] “…i’m not at liberty to say.”

[beaconsardis]

Night of Firsts and Lasts

I've given the crew port leave. It's been too long since I've let them stretch their legs and they were all showing the early signs of cabin fever.

Vaynai is not a planet I've visited before. It's a resort planet for families and for business looking to seal the deal with new clients. There's a single spaceport, located on one of the handful of mesas that poke out of the single ocean that covers the entire planet.

The crew scrambles off the ship and I only follow them as far as the Greemesa Market. It's a vacation destination, so the stalls are filled with distractions, entertainment and food. The prices are double what they should be, but with my mastery of the Force, I have never felt comfortable haggling. I buy two bowls of glaavyuk, four bottles of Endorian mead, and head back to the ship.

I relieve Fordsy of his guard duty. He insists he stay. Then he sees the two dinners I'm carrying. "I've gone longer than the recommended amount of time between shut downs," he admits. "Please reactivate me should something happen or we leave the planet."

Humaira's door opens with a beep and a whoosh. She's surprised to see me. I offer her one of the bowls of glaavyuk and nod for her to follow me. "Want some fresh air?"

We sit on the loading ramp of the Nexu, eating our spicy noodles and fish as we take in the oceanic panorama. We eat in silence, listening to the gentle lapping of the waves. Gulls caw overhead, circling us in the hopes we'll toss them some glaav.

"So what does a princess have to do to get a thirty thousand credit bounty put on her head?"

Humaira smiles. She knew this question was coming. "I was sacrificed on the altar of commercialism."

I'm not sure what that means, so I say, "I'm not sure what that means."

"What do you know about Cantonica," she asks.

I shake my head. I've got someone in Canto Bight, who keeps an eye out for purses that need pilfering, but I know little to nothing about the planet itself.

"We have a sister planet," she takes a sip of mead, "Bonadan. To show that there were no hard feelings about a business transaction that went sideways, I was given to Prince D'wonel."

"Given?" I don't like the sound of that.

"For his collection," Humaira nods matter-of-factly. "He had a harem of playthings from all across the galaxy. I didn't take too kindly to that, so on the night he called me to his chambers, I took a sword and stuck it so far into his stomach that I pinned him to the bed." She presents herself like the prestige of a magic trick, "thus the bounty."

I don't want to believe her. I want this to be a ruse, an act. I want her to by lying, trying to get on my good side so I'll think twice about collecting on her bounty. But she's telling the truth. She's as imperfect as anyone else, but the actual and complete victim here.

"Five hundred years ago this corner of the galaxy was given to a collection of corporations to govern and control, creating an oligarchical fiefdom of planets." Humaira spits every word with disgust. "Greed is their creed and life is cheap."

"What'll happen," I ask.

She doesn't respond. Her eyes are distant, disappearing into the rhythm of the waves. "They'll make a big show of it," she finally says, her voice as distant as her gaze. "Thanks for the final meal, I've never had glaavyuk before." Then, as almost an afterthought, "I've never been to the ocean before."

"That means you've never swam in the ocean before," I astutely realize.

"Never been in a body of water that wasn't manmade," she answers, finishing her mead.

"Well then let's make your last night a night of a couple of firsts, too." I stand and use the Force to whip the empty bottle of mead out of her hand. "Let's go."

I lead her down the ramp. We circle under and around the ship, walking the length of dock. With the ship between us and the rest of the port, I strip down to my undergarments. She follows my lead, slipping out of her dress and diving in behind me.

The water is warm and salty. The current gently flows around us. It's just shallow enough that we're able to touch the soft sand beneath us as each lolling wave sets us down.

Humaira laughs, a moment of natural joy washing over her. She lays down, floating on her back and letting the ebb and flow decide where she goes. She hums to herself, a peaceful smile sliding across her lips.

"So how do you make peace with being a Jedi and a pirate?" She opens one eye to see my reaction. "I thought Jedi were supposed to not have material possessions."

"It's actually really easy," I say, "I'm not a Jedi."

She sits up, splashing into a standing position. "What?"

"The Jedi Order was a religion," I explain, "and the Force is bigger than any church. It's universal. It flows through us and around us. It connects every living being to one another. It's like the tide of this ocean, pushing and pulling us and with the right practice, you can use it to your advantage."

Comparing it to the being caught in the current of a river or ocean is the best way I can think of to explain what it feels like to be me. I feel the flow of the Force so profoundly that I have to remind myself that others don't feel it at all.

"Sometimes I tell it what to do and sometimes it tells me what to do."

I can see the question forming. It's on her lips so I answer it before she voices it.

"I believe there is a great imbalance in the galaxy. The rich and powerful are only getting richer and more powerful while the poor and weak are only getting poorer and weaker. I'm trying to bring some balance to the galaxy by taking from the rich what they don't need and giving it to those who do." I present myself like the prestige of a magic trick, mirroring Humaira. "Hence the piracy."

"Can you mind control people?"

"I don't like to," I say uneasily.

"But you do."

"I can."

"So you do."

I frown. "I don't like taking away people's ability to choose, but," I admit, "there have been times when if a guard could just look over there for a second, I could get away."

"Could you convince your crew to just look over there so I could get away?" Humaira asks. There's a smile on her face, so she can claim she's joking, but the question is clearly sincere. "Or could you, I don't know, convince them to let me join the crew?"

"Join the crew?" I almost laugh. "What can you do?"

"Oh," she says very seriously, "I can fly circles around your best pilot."

She believes this. It's not up for debate with her. She is the best pilot she's ever known.

I nod back to the Nexu. "Show me."

Humaira sits down in the cockpit. She pulls her hair back and stabs one of the chopsticks from dinner in it.

"This is a Corellian freighter," she surmises. "YT series?"

"YT-2000," I nod.

Her eyes dance across the controls and then with a nod, she looks back at me. "Okay."

I couldn't convince a single person on my crew that this is a good idea. Handing over the pilot's seat to a prisoner who knows their life is over if they're turned in is the sort of thing I would never be able to explain to anyone, ever. But Humaira's intentions are pure. She just wants to show off. She wants to impress someone.

The Nexu lifts off the landing pad. But instead of nosing up and heading for the stars, Humaira keeps the ship low and punches it. We rocket out over the ocean, spraying water in our wake. She puts us into a spin before pulling back suddenly and sharply, sending us skyward. The timing on the maneuver is impressive.

She kills the engines, putting us into freefall. We plummet downward, going faster and faster as the planet pulls us down for a tight embrace. My stomach is in my mouth and my eyes are shut. She waits a second longer than I think she should before bringing the engines back to life and sending us straight for the horizon.

We're flying upside down, with the ocean above us and sky below. We bank a long, slow arc to the starboard, putting the resorts directly ahead of us.

"Oh no," I hear myself say as I realize she's about to get us into a lot of trouble.

Humaira laughs as she increases power to the thrusters. The resorts are coming up fast. They're too small and we're moving to fast for me to see them, but it's easy for me to imagine vacationers stopping what they're doing as they see a freighter barreling down on them. They turn to one another, wondering what they should do. Bomba chokes on whatever he's eating as he recognizes the foolhardy ship.

I watch in silence, in horror, and in amazement as Humaira weaves us through and around the resort's buildings and towers. We never come close to even grazing one of them. She is incomplete control. She is one with the ship.

Humaira points at me. "There it is. That's the face I was going for."

She sets us down on the landing pad and spins around in her chair to face me. She holds out her hands to ask, "well?"

I can't look her in the eye. "Thirty thousand credits is too much," I say. "They would mutiny."

Humaira sighs a long, low sigh. It's not the answer she wanted but it's the answer she expected. "I'll show myself back to my room."

"I'm sorry," I start to say, but then stop. A plan is starting to form. It's less than a plan. It's a thought, the vaguest of ideas.

Humaira is standing at the door, one foot out. She's looking down at me, an eyebrow cocked. I see the curiosity and desperation in her eyes.

"I think I have a terrible idea," I say.