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batbux · 1 year ago

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untitled janet/talia, Bruce's bio kid Tim AU pt. 3

AO3 Link (a little behind, but better edited)

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“Well, he’s not Jack’s and I only slept with him and you that one night,” she said, struggling to keep her voice level and not snap. Her pride was fighting with her sense, hating that she had to bare her soul and be looked at with so much distrust. “And a lovely woman named Carmen, but I thought I could probably rule her out for not having a penis.”

Bruce huffed, half sigh and half laugh.

“Okay,” he said slowly. “Assuming this is true… why now? What do you want?”

It was a valid question. She had no doubt that from the surface she looked like a gold-digger at best, a home wrecker at worst.

“Right now because… Jack and I have been fighting,” she said and almost got away with appeared unaffected until her chest hitched with a caught breath. She wasn’t going to cry here, she reminded herself. She’d put in all that work to seem normal. She was. Not. Going. To. Cry.

She cleared her throat and Bruce did her the kindness of ignoring her little slip.

“He wanted another kid, so I went off my birth control. We’ve- We had been trying with no luck, so Jack went to his doctor for tests. And then ordered a paternity test.”

Bruce grimaced.

“He didn’t take it very well,” Janet finished tactfully. “I think we both knew deep down that Tim wasn’t his, but all of this made him confront the fact that he likely won’t have a biological child of his own. It’s just – We were fighting again and when I had Tim things got better and I know you’re happy with Talia, but-”

Janet cut herself off, hand going to cover her eyes. She knew she was rambling and had no idea where she was even going with it. All the practice she’d put in and she still forgot her script when it mattered most.

She felt alone. She felt like the lowest kind of person despite knowing that she wasn’t out to exploit Bruce.

She wanted all of this to be over, one way or another.

Bruce surprised her by asking, “Are you safe?”

Janet laughed. “What?”

“I know that tensions can run high in these kinds of situations,” he explained awkwardly, eyes bright and watchful as they roved over her face. Looking for… what, bruises? Sweet man. Foolish man. But still sweet.

“I’m safe,” she confirmed. “Tim’s safe- Well, he’s been upset lately from hearing us fighting, but he’s physically safe. I’m doing this for him, Bruce.”

Janet’s eyes dropped from his to look at her phone, still sitting between them on the desk. Tim’s little face, sticky and smiling still lit the screen.

“He deserves a parent that actually wants him,” she said quietly. Loathing and self recrimination bubbled up in the back of her throat and she had to swallow it back like bile. “He’s a good boy, Bruce, but I wasn’t made to be a mother.”

Bruce seemed to soften at that, if only a little. He slid her phone back towards her.

“I want a test,” he said. “But even if it’s negative, I’ll help you figure out your next steps.”

“I’m not a Gotham orphan boy,” Janet laughed. “You don’t have to sweep in and try to fix my life. If it’s somehow negative, I’ll sort out my own feelings on human parthenogenesis on my own.”

Bruce crooked a smile at that. For all that they’d only had that one night together, it was nice to see that they still had a sort of rapport. It was a relief, Janet had to admit to herself. Even though she wouldn’t be taking Bruce’s offer of charity, it was nice to know it was offered at all.

“I have some samples,” she said and pulled out a baggie with Tim’s tooth and hair brushes. “Given that I’m sure you get half a dozen paternity claims a month, I’m sure you know a good lab.”

“The best lab, in fact,” Bruce said. He gestured broadly at the floor to indicate the whole of Wayne Enterprises. “I’m sure I can find a lab to do the test. We have so many of them, after all.”

Janet laughed, surprising herself. “Okay, that makes sense.”

“I’ll get the samples to them right after you leave and I’ll call when the results come back. We can set up another meeting then.”

“I’m free whenever,” she said with a rueful smile. “As you can imagine, I don’t have much going on right now except for watching Tim.”

“Right,” Bruce nodded. “But to be absolutely clear: If I am Tim’s father, are you looking to give me custody? As in, primary physical custody?”

“I still want to see him and be in his life,” she said immediately. “I do love him. I know I’m a terrible excuse for a mother, but-”

“Janet, I can tell that you love him,” he interrupted. “I know you’re a proud person and you wouldn’t be doing this if you didn’t want the best for your son. I’m honored that you think I might be that.”

“Well, you seem to know what you’re doing,” she said. “You have two boys already and they both seem reasonably happy and well adjusted.”

“I’d like to think so even if they’ve nearly driven my butler into an early retirement.”

“And I don’t want to make an enemy of your partner,” Janet added. “I just want Tim to be safe and loved.

“Let me worry about Talia,” Bruce said and Janet smiled sardonically. Not worrying about the fierce Talia al Ghul wasn’t something she was capable of, but it was a nice sentiment.

With that, Janet let Bruce wrap their conversation up and usher her from his office. She knew he had to be eager to get his people to work on the paternity test, so she didn’t take offense to her dismissal. She said her goodbyes to Emma on her way out, feeling lighter than she had in weeks.

The weather was nice when she stepped outside. The sun was almost shining and Janet thought that maybe Tim might like to go to the park or something a little later in the day.

Despite her earlier intentions, Janet stopped at a corner store on her way home. There wasn’t much of a toothbrush selection, but she reasoned that Tim wouldn’t deal well with too much activity. It was the store or the park and he would probably rather go to the park.

She picked out a Superman toothbrush (the Batman ones were sold out and they didn’t seem to sell Robin ones) and swore to herself that she would go home for a short nap before taking Tim to the park.

…

Bruce’s call woke her up shortly before dinner. He asked if she could come in tomorrow morning at the same time and she told him of course. Then, he tentatively asked if she could bring Tim and she said naturally.

After the call, she hauled herself out of bed to figure out dinner. She had no idea what Tim had done for lunch and tried not to hate herself for the fact.

#tim drake #janet drake #bruce wayne #my writing tag #batman #robin #dc #fic: no choice but to love you

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pinewoodpipit · 1 year ago

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chocolate chip fade - Fic Meta

chocolate chip fade, i.e. the freckle fic, is finally COMPLETE! As such, I wanted to post some meta about it.

Fair warning, this is a long post (there's a lot to say about this fic).

General thoughts

I LOVED working on this fic. I think the speed of putting it out alone is proof of that... 60k in about 3 weeks, when some of that time was also spend on finishing Bloodwritten Silver and I was dealing with personal shit like severe chronic pain flareups? Insane. idk where it came from. I got possessed, don't mind me.

This fic was a collab between myself and my friend uni, @/unidooty on Twitter and @unidot here! We worked hard and I personally think it came out really nicely.

We made a playlist for this, but I won't be sharing it both for privacy of my spotify account and also just because it's LONG. This fic is huge, ofc the playlist will be, too. We organised it in order of the three "sections" of the fic and it overall is a pretty cool playlist, I think. I don't delete playlists of completed works, so I'll be going back to this one in the future, and I look forward to it. I think it has a lot of re-listening value.

Lastly, here's a detail I really like! How chapter 1 ended vs how chapter 6 ended. I LOVE doing stuff like this.

Chapter specific thoughts

Here are thought dumps relevant to each chapter.

Chapter 1

Neon’s crush in this chapter may seem superficial and surface level - because at this point, it is. She’s early into her feelings and they started as something mostly physical. She learns to approach her affection in a more deep way later on, but at this point in time, she’s incredibly attracted to Fade and is struggling to cope with it.

The food Fade was interested in in the markets was meant to be bánh xèo; pork belly served inside a savoury Vietnamese crepe. Fade doesn’t eat halal (as hinted at in this fic, I hc she grew up in a conservative household but after being abandoned she formed her own beliefs outside of how she was raised) so she eats pork as she feels like it. She has some pretty bad religious trauma and she wanted to decide for herself how she felt rather than sticking to what she was taught by people who were cruel to her. Her beliefs have evolved over time (she still has them, for sure - she still wears nazar eyes etc for example), and she keeps them private. She believes what she believes and doesn’t think it’s anyone else’s business.

Chapter 2

Jett doesn’t know what Fade said to Neon when she confronts her. All she knows is it was bad enough to hurt and upset Neon badly, and she’s reacting in a way she feels is appropriate. That said, Neon doesn’t find it appropriate and instead feels a little like her trust is being violated by Jett risking letting the entire Protocol know something’s up.

Prowler represents a lot of Fade’s inner self, including her emotions. Them cuddling up to Omen signifies her gratitude which she can’t put into words, which Omen understands. Fade finds this embarrassing because she’d prefer to be all cool and mysterious, but Omen appreciates it and finds it sweet. Prowler is a weapon in many cases but between friends, they’re often the best indicator of Fade’s fondness. Prowler is also a little asshole and I fondly refer to them as Miette (from the famous meme). “You WITHHOLD Miette from snuggling their friend? You PULL on Miette’s TAIL? Jail. Jail for mother for one thousand years."

Omen gripped his mug tighter when Fade asked if it was too hot because he didn’t want her to take it away from him. I just thought that was cute.

This chapter was originally supposed to have another scene in the middle, which I forgot while I was working on it. It was supposed to be Neon pulling Killjoy away from her work to try get her to take a break, and they’d dance to the radio together for a bit to let loose. The song I had in mind for this was I Feel Good by Pink Sweat$. Fade would be watching them, kind of having heart eyes, until Neon spots her staring and angrily stops. She makes a comment like “what are YOU looking at” and Fade just quietly apologises. It’s a shame I forgot this scene but to be fair, it would have made an already long fic even longer for not much reason other than self indulgence, since the point of Neon’s seething anger was already addressed.

Chapter 3

Fade suggesting Neon should stay behind as a distraction sounds insulting to her at first, but in fact, Fade made that decision because she knows for a fact that Neon can handle it. She knows she’s powerful enough to hold her own while Fade has directly failed to fight a large group in the past when she was captured by KAY/O in Istanbul, and her time working for REALM meant she knows how to hack. Her giving Neon her gun is a huge signal of trust.

Fade is normally pretty decent at making sure people don’t lay a hand on her, but she was focused hard on the computer with the sounds of Neon’s distraction in the background meaning her focus was pulled in too many directions. She got snuck up on, but as soon as she could get her bearings, she could defend herself fine even riddled with bullets.

Fade’s apology, even if Neon doesn’t necessarily respond to it, was extremely meaningful to her. She appreciates it a lot. There’s a lot going through Neon’s mind, but she’s grateful for Fade admitting that what she said was fucked up, and also not something she truly meant. Meanwhile, Fade has never had someone tell her they value her life over her loyalty. It’s a big change to digest.

Chapter 4

People in this fic: forgetting Fade can’t read between the lines (I have audhd and I project this hard onto Fadeshock - autistic Fade and ADHD Neon, my dearest beloveds) and then being surprised when she misunderstands or doesn’t read into something. Cypher trying to hint Fade should apologise and make it up to Neon and confusing her into thinking she should come out with a big declaration and confess, and now Neon expecting Fade to understand a convoluted song confession… give her a break PLEASE

The hand-holding scene when they first have sex is a mirror to the plane scene when Fade was injured and Neon offered her her hand. I love narrative mirrors.

Chapter 5

I really like lokum. I'll fight all of yall who moan about Edmund getting lokum in Narnia, shit slaps.

This chapter includes a different AU I once planned with Uni about sexting. It was supposed to focus on the contrast between Neon being bad at sexting but good at nudes and Fade being the exact opposite. This is what pushed me to split chapters 5 and 6 apart, and it definitely ended up being stronger for it, because it let me approach these ideas properly. Without this split, chapter 6’s fight and Neon’s death wouldn’t have been properly explored and she’d have just come back upset without much justification.

Chapter 6

Ok MOST of this fic is uni’s fault but this chapter is on me, they’re off the hook. I wanted pegging 💀 we’d talked about it as a meme but I really just ended up wanting to include it in the fic itself and chapter 4 looked like it was going to be quite long with everything included, anyway.

Killjoy’s mother is Turkish, and I think it’d be sweet if she can understand some of it from her. I never really see people talk about her being half Turkish? Kind of wilds me out that Riot were very outspoken about Gekko’s life being unique as an immigrant character when Killjoy (Turkish-German) and Phoenix (Nigerian-British) also have that experience (coming from someone who was an immigrant in Europe for a time, it seems many people forget you can be an immigrant anywhere, not just in the US), but oh well - point is, I wanted to focus on this part of her character a little bit, even if it’s in the background. It was almost a little project she and Raze were working on together; every time they heard Fade call Neon something affectionate, they’d write it down. Raze doesn’t speak Turkish so she’d have to run to find Killjoy and sound it out until Killjoy could guess correctly what Raze had heard. Big “Babe c’mere I heard something gay and we need to decode it” hours. This was kind of foreshadowed in chapter 2 by Killjoy understanding Fade when she was insulting Prowler, but Fade had forgotten about that by this point.

What the hell happened to this fic

SO, I wanna talk about the timeline of this fic for a sec. It originally started out as a cute one-shot idea which was gonna be 1-2k, just Neon realising Fade has freckles. It was supposed to be what became just the first scene of chapter 1. THEN, I showed it to Uni, and they basically said “ok, but what if they FIGHT”. So, it became a 3 chapter story which I estimated to be 5k per chapter. Then, I wrote chapter 1, and I realised that it was 10k, and the other two were going to be longer. Chapter 2 ended up getting split into two (becoming chapters 2 and 3 of the final fic) because it was just so long. So, for a while it was going to be a 40k fic with 4 10k chapters. AND THEN, I realised chapter 4 was also going to be long, and if I split it into two, I’d have more room to breathe, and I’d also be able to add in chapter 5’s smut, which I found really funny since it was Neon’s chance to tease Fade about the hand-holding thing (and maybe let any lingering bitterness for the Vietnam incident out). So, it became a 5 chapter 50k fic. BUT THEN IT STILL WASN’T OVER because while I was working on chapter 5, Uni suggested some more ideas which actually incorporated that separate sexting au collab we had planned and would have been much too fun to ignore… so now it’s 60k and 6 chapters… Oops?

Relevant art

I made some art for this fic! I really enjoyed working on this story. I've been enjoying making art to accompany my fics, like I did with Bloodwritten Silver, so I hope to continue this in the future with my aus.

and of course, the sketch that started it all:

One silly little bonus for you, too; while I was working on chapter 4 and the smut scene, Uni asked at one point which position they were in. At this point it was past midnight and I didn't know what the position was called, so I just doodled something real silly to show it off. I just think it's funny to look at, so here, you can look at it, too :)

best fadeshock art ever made canon

So, what's next?

I have a large queue with lots of ideas I wanna make, but my current big brainrot is of course my COWBOY AU!! I've been posting about this for a while, but it's my next major project. I'll still be writing one-shots though, too.

#freckle fic #pipit writes #fic meta #pipit draws #I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S DONE #valorant #fadeshock #suggestive #own post #fanart #fade valorant #neon valorant

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oudkee · 1 year ago

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inazuma eleven ask game

but im not gonna make you send me asks i am just answering all the questions out of boredom. original by @marmolao , post here

1-Favorite season/game/manga.

aliea season (2) my beloved. super nostalgic and definitely the arc i've rewatched the most

2-Favorite og character(s).

kidou yuuto my son. also desarm he's a funky alien. uhhh rococo and kazemaru too

3-Favorite go character(s).

TENMA, shindou used to be my fave but on my rewatch i was like ok he's kind of a dick in galaxy like he really leaned into it. kinako my beloved and most of all ray rukh. robot son. I FORGOT BITWAY okay no bitway is my favourite go character and prolly my fave inazumer of all time. sexy older alien man and probably the precursor of my love for the equally evil alien miss founder from deep space nine.

question 3 was actually missing from the copypasta and so was question 4. i took a wild guess what 3 was but no clue for 4...

5-Favorite areori character(s).

shimerigawa kageru. i have his license in my wallet and ive mistakenly grabbed it instead of my id at bars lmao. heres my ugly anime boy card.

6-Least favorite og character(s).

no one really occurs to me immediately. i used to be really hateful as a teenager i had like a whole list LMAO uhhhhhh i guess the evil mastermind from ffi season. garfield

7-Least favorite go character(s).

the bear

8-Least favorite areori character(s).

kind of like. everyone lmao. no one appealed to me and areori just feels like a soulless cash grab so absolutely none of the characters were even interesting beyond having some like surface level thing that got resolved immediately every time

9-Favorite coach(es).

kageyama. what a fucked up old man

10-Favorite scout character(s).

i never used them in the games lol but i like the designs of like. the machinery/mechanical themed ones

11-Favorite og team(s).

mikage sennou and all five aliea teams but especially epsilon

12-Favorite go team(s).

perfect cascade and ixal fleet........

13-Favorite areori team(s).

none oops sorry

14-Favorite hissatsu technique(s).

stargazer... shoot pocket uhh. god there were actually so many but i just don't remember any of them. i think perfect cascade had like the command ones that were cool but i dont remember im geriatric

15-Favorite hissatsu tactic(s).

REALLY dont remember any of these

16-Favorite keshin(s).

plasma shadow.........

17-Favorite keshin armour(s).

every single one of them slapped. they all looked so good. tenma's and ray rukh's were the best tho

18-Favorite miximax(s).

i dont like them.

19-Favorite soul(s).

bitway's fucked up tentacle monster

20-Favorite character design(s).

WAY too many. with a series with hundreds of characters im bound to be obsessed with a lot of the designs. so i really like all the ixalens from a design standpoint because they're almost... insect like but then they have that vorta paleness that's like okay you definitely came from a planet with a dense atmosphere that doesn't have a lot of natural light. the bird people had really good designs. tenma has that awful early 2010s shonen protag look about him but he's just so cute it works i love the cinnamon roll hair. chrono stone had a lot of random background characters that really slapped like engir and rudzhik it's baffling to me that this was the same season that had those awful mixi max designs. speaking of chrono stone i ALSO like the creepy factor of all the robot boys looking like. essentially the exact same like same height same body same skintone but with different eyes and hair it's so icky creepy i LOVE IT. i wish they were explored deeper because i love mechanical horror and the relationship between artificial beings and the organic life that surrounds them. not only that but their maker has like gendo ikari vibes. if u havent noticed i have a lot 2 say.

21-Favorite opening(s)/ending(s).

maji de kansha literally actually changed my life. i got through a lot of really low points because of maji de kansha this isn't even a joke. it's been a decade now and the song still hits just as hard. as for endings uhhhhhhhhhh katte ni cinderella was the best but i don't like the full version only the short anime version

22-Favorite character song(s).

ice road, starline, and yasashii mirai. OH and don't stop that's such a fucking banger from ibuki munemasa himself. he did that for us

23-Favorite friendship(s)/character dynamic(s).

i like the dynamic everyone has with endou like he actually becomes friends with like. everyone even the weird italian kid that thought it was okay kageyama tried to murder him. well he didn't think it was okay he just didn't even really care which is almost weirder

24-Favorite ship(s).

im almost 27 i dont really find fulfillment in shipping teenagers together

25-Favorite protagonist(s).

tenma and kidou my boyz

26-Favorite villain(s).

BITWAY OZROCK!!!!!!! and kageyama

27-Favorite character’s backstory.

i have this really messed up and long origin story for all the aliea season kids that i wrote years ago lmao... as for canon i just don't care i guess. it's not so much the backstory as how the character handles it in the end like the backstory can be Aww Sad all it wants but if the character acts like a dick or just unintersting in the plot bc of it then why should i really care. fudou akio im calling u out

28-Favorite sidecharacter(s)/NPC(s).

the clown

29-Headcanon(s) worth of sharing here.

i remember i had this whole kageyama family/shindou family/tachimukai family tree headcanon that was like basically shindou was kageyama's illegitimate son. kageyama's brother married tachimukai's older sister or cousin or whatever and they had hikaru. and way long down the line hikaru was related to sakamaki who created perfect cascade. much to think about

30-Free ask!

i need everyone to know that inazuma eleven is intrinsically linked with star trek: deep space nine by way of deep space nine's japanese dub. the lady who dubbed ezri dax was the lady who voiced toramaru. that is all

#i had a lot more to talk about than i thought #cant believe ive been a fan of this series for like. almost 11 years

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faithfromanewperspective · 1 year ago

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When I look back, I’ve always had this part of me longing for something, a kind of connection I didn’t understand the concept of. There would be something in my head that’d draw me to Wattpad stories, to Tumblr screenshots I found on Pinterest in the mid 2010s. I’d try spend my time doing other things that I found enjoyable, back in the days we still thought screens were evil (or maybe it was the yet uneducated environmentalist in me talking). But a quote always stuck to me that the things you do while procrastinating are often the things you really want to do and should be doing. I didn’t know what it was, but I was collecting perspectives.

I’m good with people, I really am, I have a lot of friends, and I have insecurities and then-undiagnosed neurodivergence but I didn’t think that ever really got in the way of me connecting and anyone who saw me would agree to that. I didn’t know it but I was longing for some kind of deeper connection, a warmth I only ever felt with one real-life person who I fell in love with as a teenager and I thought what I felt was only related to romance. I forgot the little bits of that feeling I felt with my primary school friends before I moved interstate, forgot how magical that was. Forgot how every subsequent connection, even this one, was stained with the hurt of that loss and an avoidance of being vulnerable.

Avoiding the parts of me I see in the characters I love so dearly. I see in people who love them as much, if not more than I do, I see when I finally sit still enough to realise I’m suffering, I’m hurting, and I really don’t know if it’ll ever stop. Maybe it’s like grief, we grow around it, but it stays the same size. I do know what I look like on the surface, to many for whom it’s all they ever bother to see, they don’t know how to see anything else or as my first love once said ‘that’s what they choose to see’. Because it’s been hard for years. Decades. It’s getting harder every year. I can function through anything (it’s one of my greatest skills and biggest misunderstandings with the world), until I can’t.

But I see it in other people, and I relate to the perspectives I collect in some way or another. When we connect on this level, I’ll always relate to you. When we connect over a character who goes through similar, even if not the exact same things, that we do. The way I related to my Wattpad characters and this real life person (but could never acknowledge in real life) I relate to you. And that warmth is magical. Tumblr is a place of escape, but it’s the kind of escape that is safety to be who I really am, a kind of escape I want to bring into my real life with the safety and confidence and deep connection it facilitates. And when I do, it doesn’t feel real.

But it is. That warmth of connection, it’s everywhere. The ‘I want to give you a hug because I just feel that Vibe coming off of you’ and it’s not interspersed with months of silence or diluted by the monotony of day to day life and 'who will run the dishwasher?' The awe at the fact that what this person has survived is incredible. And I’m not part of a world that sweeps this stuff under the rug. We bring it into the light in trust and we cherish it. set our souls on fire from the inside and use that connection to help us face all the battles that are life. Collecting perspectives, it leads to collecting connection. And honestly, that’s how I live.

#personal mental health tag #a love letter to my mutuals #neurodivergent solidarity #neurodivergent liberation #because that's what this is. part of my #neurodivergence

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sanzu-sanzu-sanzu · 2 years ago

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Idk how to say it but I just love, love your treatment of details in your fics. And I don't just mean your description of scenes or their headspace (which requires a different ask) but the way you place context and background information is just so easy to read and not overwhelming at all. and I know you say you don't know football haha but I feel like you're the kind of writer who really does research (and you can really see) and I just appreciate that so much!

hahahahaha! oh my gosh! this just got me so giddy. i've been smiling like a fool..

yes i like to do some research haha! a lot of them surface-level though and sometimes yeah i do a bit of deep-dive, but when i do there's more of it that does not make it to the fic anyway. it's okay though, i still like to read up about particular topics related to the fic either way, just so i get a better picture (or feel, at the very least) of what i'm writing about :)

so yeah when i wrote for TR especially, i did read up on so many gang and crime stuff on that one. for blue lock, it's fun cus i actually had IRLs i could talk to about football you know? HAHAHA. i ended up talking to some of my biggest football fan friends about football and we just talked and talked about nothing specific in particular, just anything football. like who were their favorite players and why. like oh apparently it's very very possible to play in a foreign/wherever club but then represent your home country in say, world cup or olympics. (a friend even went on about citizenship stuff which i listened to but forgot now but i said i'm gonna need him to repeat back to me sometime later hahahahaha).

oh, and i have this friend who told me his favorite this player eden hazard who is an attacking midfielder (LIKE SAE!!) who played for chelsea but actually whose dream team, according to my friend, was real madrid!!! this guy my friend said was considered one of the best players of his generation but now he's in real madrid a lot of people consider him a flop hahaha. my friend still likes him though.

#anri 💌

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livingsurreal · 1 year ago

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I love this take! <3

I come to a rather similar conclusion about his character pre vamp but for me I feel he was more a "from rags to riches" person.

Someone who had nothing, came from nothing. Who saw powerful people in BG and saw them having everything. Doing whatever they want. Abusing their power.

And he wanted that. He wanted to be one of those people who had everything they wanted, he wanted to have the freedom and security of power. To have enough food and fine clothes and dance with the pretty people at balls.

He was ambitious and clawed his way to a position of power. He used his smarts, shrewdness and good looks to work his way up from an very early age. (And yes, I believe he used his looks long before Cazador came along.)

But instead of helping those who were in a similar situation he would only help himself once he had that power. B/c thats how the world is. He never saw someone in power help the helpless. They all only served themself. Heros only existed in children books.

Also, as someone who never had anything he became fearful of loosing what he worked so hard to win. A powerful man is always afraid of loosing said power.

How canon his slave selling backstory still is I am not sure. But he was certainly not a good selfless person. He was still the "pathetic little boy" who begged for food, deep inside. And he would do anything to keep this comfy new place.

Then along came Cazador, "saving" him. Tbh I still believe that Cazador orchestrated to attack on Astarion. There is a reason we can question him that is suspicions that Cazador was conveniently there when he was attacked. I certainly believe that Cazador had his own very twisted reasons to make Astarion his spawn, even if the slave seller backstory is no longer valid. He did have a very fucked up narcissistic parent relationship with Astarion. Don't slouch boy. You are nothing without me. Ungrateful child! A pity you amounted to so little, despite my efforts! You are a small, pathetic little boy. (Pretty sure Rooney spoke with either survivors of such parents or professionals who explained their behavior and manipulations)

But everything that happened after that just cemented that people in power are save, nothing can happen to them. They are use their power to do whatever they want.

He has a little forgotten tombstone. No one cared enough to take care of Astarions grave.

Has he parents? Are they still alive? Did they love him? Maybe.

Maybe he had wonderful loving parents. Maybe they died to young and left him alone in a cold cold world. Maybe they loved him dearly but were so busy surviving that they never had the time and strength to show him all the love they had.

But maybe not. Maybe they too were the kinds of people who showed no care to those less powerful then them (eg Astarion, since if he really have from the dregs there was never anyone else than their child who was less powerful then them)

We dont know.

Did he have true friends? I doubt it. I think he would never really have trusted anyone, even before Cazador turned him. Trusting just gets you hurt. Your trust will be used against you.

He had no one. Like you said, no one ever saw HIM.

A begging little child, invisible to those above him. Kicked when they felt like it.

A magistrate, but still, no one anybody cared about. Just some poor kid who ended up in the halls of power. I would believe that that was a stain on his record and a lot of "daddys boys and daughters" never let him forget that he came from nothing, is nothing. He had nothing and is now in an backstabbing environment that might give him food, pretty clothes but not friendship, companionship beyond surface level.

When he died they just buried him and forgot he ever existed.

He does not believe in good deeds, kindness, caring about others. He never saw anyone doing so. He believes people being kind, helping others, etc. as naive, stupid. Don't they know that the world does not work that way?

An at least somewhat good aligned Tav is the first example in his life of someone doing a good thing and not loosing everything for it. Of someone helping others just for the sake of it and still coming out on top. Someone who was kind to him and helped him and listened to him. Someone who would go to extreme lengths to help him, even trying to kill a very big and bad demon. Someone who respected his wishes and boundaries. Someone who sees his mask break and still sees someone worthwhile. Someone who sees the pathetic little boy with all his awkwardness and stuttering (maybe he did stutter as a child?) and still believes him deserving of at least their friendship, or in case of romance, even their love.

Will there always be a selfish streak in him? Surely. He had nothing, he was used and abused beyond measures. He will not go back to that. But do I also see incredible loyalty to those he sees as his friends (in his spawn ending)? Absolutely!

Astarion & his life before Cazador

After seeing a few different takes on it, my thoughts have been circling around Astarion's pre - vampiric life and what it must have been like to shape him into the person we know, behind the trauma and his attempts to hide the truth of his feelings and vulnerability inside him.

After days of musings, I've tried to gather my thoughts into a single analysis of a sort, both on his general mindset and his life as the person buried in the graveyard as Astarion Ancunin.

What can be said - disappointing as it is - is that in his life he most likely was what can be tactfully referred to as "an asshole". He held a magistrate's position, but most likely didn't give a damn about anything other than luxuries this position provided him with and the life of utter debauchery he was given on a silver plate. I don't think he's ever had to really fend for anything nor work towards anything, or deal with any kind of problems either on personal or any other level. What's worse - he probably had his part in some form of severe oppression of the common people, otherwise why would he get jumped and beaten to death (his attackers clearly aimed for his death, not just a lesson to be taught) in his own city.

(I would like to mark at that point that my further thoughts are not an excuse for him being a shitty person. If he was a dick indeed, that's on him)

Astarion is, fundamentally, as others have pointed out before me, a rather selfish person - or more specifically, self - absorbed to the point of selfishness. That's one of his core vices.

However.

He isn't an evil person either. He is capable of compassion and taking interest in other people. He is fiercely loyal to those he loves (that being Tav) and capable of consideration, pride and joy for those he considers friends. He is very slow to trust (understandably so) or accept kindness - but once he does, he remains true to the people who granted him those gifts. His confession scenes are the best proof of that - where his consience, still intact, is eating him up as he can't stomach leading on the only person he knows who treated him well.

And as much as he adores his own charms, beauty, pleasure, fine things, there is deep within him the yearning for something more than that. He isn't truly sated by all of those shallow things, nor is he pushed to any kind of growth within them. This yearning is something he is barely able to recognise and understand himself, let alone pursue it. But it's there.

Astarion's character and behavioral patterns must have been shaped before. The trauma from Cazador's enslavement broke him, scarred his psyche to unimaginable extent, exposed his worse qualities and drove him to become a shell of who he could have been, leaving him utterly out of touch with himself, burdened with indescribable guilt and self - loathing, stuck in desperate survival mindset. But his inner self was still shaped somewhere and somehow.

I've come to imagine that his pre-vampiric life wasn't really a happy one. It was undoubtedly rich, loud, unspoiled by any hardships, but fundamentally empty. Without any semblance of meaning, without any true kinship with anyone or any genuine emotional intimacy. Even if he lived like there was no tomorrow and nothing in the world mattered but his pleasure - deep down, maybe he knew he wasn't truly satisfied and that no amount of shameless, drunk debauchery would ever fullfill this emptiness. Perhaps he craved something more after all, something he hadn't been taught how to seek.

Now how could it have come to that?

He was most likely born in some wealthy local family (or one with considerable influence in the city) that held the position of the magistrate for generations, hence his lifestyle and being granted the title at such a young age for elven standards (he was 39 at the time of his presumed death; i personally would equal that to no more than 30 years by human standards, more like middle 20s even). He was obviously somebody's son - but I don't personally believe he ever experienced the healthy, genuine love a child should be provided, he strikes me as a type of person who never quite had a good, trusted role model to look up to, no one to call him out on his vices and lovingly steer him into growing into a possibly best version of himself. No one to check him on his selfish instincts and show him that there may be a more rewarding way of going through the world. That kind of thing usually happens through some sort of neglect and lack of sufficient care; my guess is that he never had an actual meaningful bond with his parents, was raised mostly by hired caretakers and overall in his childhood didn't experience the much needed selfless love & care from emotionally close people, the kind of love that subconsciously makes us believe that there is good and kindness in the world and that it's worth the effort on our part.

Whatever came in his elder years couldn't have been better, and it certainly didn't make him a better person. Some amount of power, money, countless pleasures, all of that he so adores but which doesn't ultimately fullfill him nor make him truly value and appreciate himself on a deeper level. And after his death - he was most likely mourned in some way, but not necessarily missed by anyone and was quickly forgotten. Perhaps his parents remembered - but they too eventually moved on.

What leads me to believe that?

The most interesting thing about Astarion's final love declaration to Tav is that he says he feels "seen" with them. It's one of the most beautiful things we people can offer each other - the feeling of being "seen" and safe in that sight, understood, felt, valued. That can only happen when the other person knows us well enough to be aware of all the ugly qualities we possess, but is just as aware of our capability for all the good ones, and so, in the greater picture sees the better version of ourselves (sometimes even better than we ourselves can picture) and that vision, when truly caring for the other person, we trust and want to live up to. By seeing ourselves the way our loved one sees us, we allow ourselves to grow and be better.

I don't think Astarion ever had that kind of person. I don't believe that he ever, in his pre - vampiric life, experienced a kind of love and trust needed for such a feeling - being "seen", and wanting to be seen as someone good, worthy, valued. Even more - I don't think he ever had any kind of true friend or companion. And that kind of emptiness deeply cripples a person, no matter who they are.

The tragic thing is - Tav may not be the first person to show Astarion kindness and care after years of torment from Cazador, they may be the first selflessly caring and kind person in his entire life. Even if he doesn't remember anything about his previous life, emotionally, he doesn't even seem to recognise the feeling of being cared for, considered, valued, appreciated for who he is, he doesn't instinctively recognise emotional closeness of any kind. Tav may be his first ever true companion, confidant, someone he comes to value and trust enough, that he eventually wants to be the same for them - and be better himself.

Tav may just be the first person to be a selfless and genuinely healthy influence for him, the first person to call him out on shitty behaviour and challenge him, but also to the first one to care. Ever. The first person Astarion comes to care about. The person through whom he learns to care and value more, both others and himself. And the person through whom he learns to love.

I don't believe he ever loved before, nor was he truly loved in the first place. Maybe he never tried, maybe he never dared, maybe he didn't know how to, maybe no one taught him. Tav was the best thing to happen to him in both of his lives.

#astarion #baldurs gate 3 #astarion ancunin #astarion brainrot #astarion analysis #character study #character analysis #meta #headcanon #bg3

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three--rings · 2 years ago

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Hey, so many of my very favorite video games are super on sale right now on Steam, so please allow me to speak at you for a moment.

The sale is a Spike Chunsoft sale, so it includes series like Danganronpa and Stein’s Gate and others.

But SPECIFICALLY I adore the games of Kotaro Uchikoshi, the Zero Escape series and the AI:The Somnian Files series.

The Zero Escape games are some of my ALL TIME very favorite video games. You can get all the games in the series for $25 right now, 75% off.

Uchikoshi’s games are typically part visual novel, part puzzles, though later games are fully voiced visual novels. (Actually I 100% forget the steam version of 999 is highly voiced now too...because it wasn’t voiced AT ALL when I played it the first...IDK 4 times.)

Uchikoshi does amazing things with narrative and tells stories that only work in the video game format. The stories are entirely WILD and often veer from ridiculous to character moments that make you sob.

The games definitely have horror/violent elements, so some content warning apply. Like they are NOT playing around and WILL hurt you, but god is it worth it. The games take a LOT of time to play, and they all have multiple endings/routes with one of them being the “real” or “goal” ending. But again, WORTH it.

I have bought MULTIPLE entire game systems to play these games, and the fact you can just BUY them so cheap now is kinda wild to me. (Also hey, you aren’t going to deal with the game-breaking bug on the 2nd Zero Escape game on the 3DS where I lost 60 hours of progress.)

So yeah, take this as a kick in the butt, if this is at all your kind of thing.

I just finished the first AI game and am buying the second in this game, but I really enjoyed the first.

(I also love Danganronpa and if you like one series you WILL enjoy the other. It’s a similar level of Messed Up and Also Deep.)

The sale is going on through the 19th.

ETA: I wrote this at 6AM so pardon me, but I forgot the series were labeled weird on Steam. The Nonary Games is a collection of the first two Zero Escape Games. So one purchase ($12 right now????!!!!!) and you get two full games with each something like 100 hours in it. (999 depends a lot on decisions how long it takes. ZE2 is super long to complete.)

The first Zero Escape game, 999: 9 Hours, 9 Persons, 9 Doors is a mystery set on a sinking replica (?) of the Titanic, in which a cast of 9 people have to find their way through the ship to the last door to escape before it sinks. But that’s only the surface level of what’s actually going on...

The second ZE game is Virtue’s Last Reward, a direct sequel to the first, but that’s not immediately obvious. It’s a little more sci-fi, a little more out there, with more twisty paths and wild surprises. But in some ways the quintessential Zero Escape (though NOTHING will beat 999 in my mind). These two are included in the one Nonary Games package.

Zero Time Dilemma is the completion(?) of the trilogy which we thought for years we wouldn’t get and then we did. Opinions are mixed on this one, and it dials up the horror and violence and Saw-esque aspects a lot, but it’s extremely memorable and unique. Utterly terrified me the first time I played it BTW (but like I have anxiety and don’t do horror games.)

AI: The Somnian Files is an unrelated series from the same writer/director. A sci-fi police detective mystery, in which a police detective who can use secret tech to experience people’s dreams tries to solve a serial killer case. Very weird, very wild, but honestly even more impressive on a second play/watch because the writing is super clever. Great voice acting and character work. Very silly (easy) action sequences. There’s also a direct sequel that just released in June.

Pretty much all of them have trigger warnings for dark content, death, suicide, sexism, child abuse...but USUALLY stuff is handled well for anime-genre media, with the exception of some anime-typical sexism.

#video games #zero escape #ai the somnium files #spike chunsoft

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awakeshedreams · 3 years ago

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sugar and spice ( 1 )

pairing : resident bad boy!jjk x model student!reader

setting : highschool!au x stepbrother!au

summary :

a messy highschool!au x stepbrother!au where model student reader who has quite a few dirty little secrets sees her world take an unexpected turn when her mother comes home one day with an engagement announcement, to the father of none other than the school's resident bad boy.... Jeon Jungkook.

genre : smut, for laughs, kinda pornish, slow burn with collosaly overwhelming sexual tension

rating: soft m ( for now ) due to adult content

warnings : unconventional relationship of sexual nature, tropes and clichès, teenagers partaking in porn-esque activities, made up things with made up people happening in a made up world, don't like don't read XD

wordcount : 2.3K

a/n : i've been fighting in a long standing war and I have lost. the man known as jeon jungkook had his foot on my neck for years and today, I have finally submitted to my fate and surrendered to his reign.

yes. after a hundred years, i'm writing again. specifically, writing for bts. particularly, writing for jungkook. its been a long time coming.

life just took over and I transitioned into an adult and kind of grew out of the state of mind I was in before. but. sigh. jeon jungkook has been tormenting me the whole time. it was only a matter of time before i relapsed honestly.

so here I am again. in mind, body and spirit, a different person from who I was before but still the same in the sense that with the way bts have my whole heart, jk will always be the demon in the corner of my room that I invite to bed for a cuddle even though it's (probably really) not good for me.

do not misconstrue. I love him more than I can say. but. sigh. he has me in a chokehold, loves. please try to understand where I'm coming from.

anyways, enough with this ranting. you all came here for the nitty gritty so let me not hold you hostage with my dilemma rambling any longer. here's to the first bts fic i've posted in literal years. introducing- sugar and spice.

1 2

Unless they told someone, no one would have been able to guess it.

At school they were complete strangers.

She was the nice head girl with a clean record, all smiles and straight A’s. He was the mysterious bad boy with a track record, all tatted up with bruised knuckles.

She wore plaid skirts with neat pleads in them and pastel sweaters with bows at the collar. He wore jeans with rips in them and leather jackets with studs.

They couldn't have been any more different.

As far as anyone was concerned, they existed on two extreme ends of a vast spectrum.

What they didn't know was that they shared a dirty little secret.

You were a girl with many dirty secrets.

For instance, you used to sell nudes online. It was a side hustle you did.

Not because you needed money.

Your mom was a renowned doctor so there was more than enough of that in your life.

Not because you needed validation from people online either.

Even without the constant compliments and the praises you knew you were visually blessed with a pretty face and a nice body too.

All things considered, you simply thought you had a nice pair of tits and you took pictures of them sometimes.

Posting the shots you snapped online came much later when you heard about this website where people were getting paid crazy money for posting racy things.

‘It’s just so degrading…’ It was one of your friends, June, who sneered, pretty nose scrunched up. She fixed her long ponytail and rolled her brown eyes while looking in the mirror at her locker. ‘Who would do such a thing, am I right?’

She said this, but June was the girl who has slept with more boys than she could count on her two hands. And those were the ones she told you about.

Like every other time, you said nothing. Even when it carried on to lunch with the rest.

‘Pretty desperate if you ask me.’ Mei the stellar track runner shrugged casually as she stretched her limbs like routine.

‘Where are their parents?’ Nina the library nerd shook her head in disapproval as she fixed her glasses so it sat right on the bridge of her nose.

‘Um… I don’t think it’s … appropriate… to talk about ….’ Kiko the one who always carried a cross and bible around mumbled into her sleeve.

All your friends spoke of it in derision and repulsion of course. This was a school for proper children so they were proper girls. At least they were supposed to be.

Regardless the conversation sparked a curiosity in you.

So you made an account and uploaded your first picture. Nothing bizarre. Just your tits in a pretty lace bra.

You made sure to keep your face out of the frame because that was the smart thing to do and you were nothing if not the smartest student in school.

In all honesty, you weren’t expecting anything out of it. In fact, in between work with student council and tutoring your juniors with finals right around the corner, you even forgot about it for an entire month.

It was by a complete whim that you decided to open the app while you’d been unwinding at your desk following a tedious day at school.

To say you were amused by the response you found waiting for you would have be a grave understatement.

You were staring at the four figure digit that now sat in your bank account.

Reading through the comment section was even more interesting.

There were all sorts of people there who had all sorts of things to say. Ranging from honestly sweet to downright dirty.

You had never been brought to tears laughing in her life before until then.

It was just so funny to see people misbehave and lose their minds over a pair of tits.

From then on it just sort of became a thing.

But that wasn't the worse of your secrets.

You were making a name for yourself on the crude web months later.

The next step was naturally to move from making taking pictures to making videos. Since you was already in too deep you didn’t see why not.

So you upgraded and opened another account. An amateur one where your touched yourself for an audience.

You were no prude.

You might have never been touched by a boy before but you had touched yourself plenty times. Stress and frustration came hand in hand with being head girl. Since you couldn’t quite vent it out at the annoying troublemakers at school, this was your second best option.

Third was watching porn, but that was mostly when you were extremely bored.

But that wasn’t where that little endeavor ended.

Later on it became a lot more risqué.

It all started when your mom hit you with a marriage announcement.

She met a guy on her business trip who she really liked and she was convinced he was the one.

Your mom had a tragic history of being a bad judge of character.

You’ve had this conversation at least five times since you became old enough to understand that boys and girls who were just friends didn’t kiss and sleep with each other.

Most times, it felt like she was doing it because she thought you needed a dad around.

You might have once, when you were younger and your mom was too busy with work to be there. But she worked from home these days and you were soo busy with school to worry about things like that.

This time it was like she was doing it for her. You were glad.

Your mom looked genuinely happy when she spoke about this guy.

Who were you to get in the way?

She spent almost the whole weekend in the kitchen. It was the longest you’ve seen her in there in your entire life.

She was excited for the dinner on Sunday.

Mr Jeon was the name of the chosen man.

He was coming over with his kid. A son, his only family. His wife passed away years ago.

You wore the dress your mom picked out for you, something cream in color and off the shoulders that brushed your knees. She looked pretty in her champagne dress. It was different from the office slacks and loose blouses you were used to seeing her in.

You stood by her at the door while the guests came through.

Lifting your head from a polite bow, you found herself staring straight into an achingly familiar pair of glinting dark eyes and went completely still.

‘Sweetie,' Your mother said sounding delighted, a soft hand on your stiff shoulder. 'This is Mr Jeon and his son Jungkook.’

Ah. Fuck.

‘Jeon dear, this is my daughter. Isn’t she lovely?’

Dinner was a mild affair, with small talk and the occasional clinking of cutlery on fine china.

From the outside looking in, you probably looked the picture perfect family already.

Only if no-one looked close enough.

Arms crossed, tongue in cheek. Your discomfort could be detected from miles away.

The two adults were oblivious.

The dark eyed boy with the slightest wave to his nape touching, brow grazing, ear covering onyx hair sat across you though; he took note of this with a passing glance and wordlessly returned to his food.

Jeon Jungkook had a countenance that betrayed his reputation.

Even though you’ve never talked, you knew plenty about him and you were sure he knew a lot about you too.

You went to the same school.

Dressed as he was in a crisp white dress shirt buttoned at the wrist and dark tailored pants with a fine belt on, it might have been hard to tell what kind of person he really was.

You lifted her gaze from your plate to look study him wordlessly, idly twisting the noodles with your fork.

People either called him the black sheep or the dark cloud but for you, Jeon Jungkook was the school’s resident lone wolf.

He smoked in the secluded areas on campus, sometimes playing his guitar. Beat up people who got on his nerves, sometimes using his guitar. Slept in class the rare times he was there, many times on his guitar.

Being his senior, you had never seen any of any of that for yourself. But you received plenty reports weekly to come to a sound conclusion.

There was no way people hated him enough to join hands in solidarity and make this all up.

It was quite the contrary actually. He had an alarming number of fans.

On the surface level you couldn’t see why. Most times you saw him, he looked bored out his mind and honestly, intimidating.

Maybe it was the tattoos. Or the ripped skinny jeans. Or the leather jackets with studs.

Maybe it was the domineering height and fit frame and structured face.

Maybe it was the intense dark eyes or the silky ruffled hair.

Even then, you failed to see the irresistible appeal in him. All those things that made him up only added to his unapproachable aura.

Bottom line was, he was bad news.

You didn’t want to be a spoil sport.

But how much of a thug your mom’s boyfriend’s son was shouldn’t be something that would make her like him less.

They were both their own people. Right ?

It was just that you just didn’t want her to be shocked and devastated if something happened later. When it happened.

Yet it seemed the serious conversation would have to wait.

After dinner your mom suggested you head to the living room to chat over wine and cheese.

You stayed back to do take out the dishes.

Earlier, your mom had stood to do it instead at first.

‘Don’t bother with that, dear.’ She reached for the plates in your hands. ‘Let me do it.’

‘It’s okay, mom.’ You smiled a little. ‘This is your night. I’ll meet you in the living room.’

'Sweetie...' Your mom looked close to tears. ‘But there’s so much of it…’

‘Jungkook,’ his father's voice had cut through the moment. He was a serious man in a crisp suit with a stoic countenance. His voice was just naturally authoritarian without him trying ‘Give her a hand.’

Jungkook stood, almost robotically.

‘It’s fine.’ You said. Politely. Nicely. Tightly. ‘I can handle this much.’

You left without another word.

That had been moments ago and now you were done with cleaning.

You stood at living room entrance for a while, taking in the scene.

The two adults were exchanging moon eyes and whispering in each other’s ears at the love seat.

Jungkook was sitting on a solo seat, but he was on his phone, completely unbothered by what was happening.

Your mom seemed to think it was the perfect time to pull out the photo album right then and there upon seeing you.

It was embarrassing but at least you knew you didn’t have to worry about the pictures spreading at school.

Jungkook was looking, picking up a picture occasionally to rove over, but he wasn’t the type to do that.

He also wasn’t the type to stare but you felt his glance shifting to you and lingering multiple times.

Once, you caught his eyes and he just stared at you across the coffee table wordlessly with a curious tilt to his head, idly flipping a picture of you dressed as a knight in glitter shining armor for Halloween at eight in his hands.

Honestly, it was starting to get annoying.

But you endured. For your mom’s sake.

Your alarm went off at exactly ten.

As subtly as you could, you excused yourself with an apology to the guests, saying you weren't really feeling well.

In hindsight you probably should have used a better excuse.

Your mom was notorious when it came to worrying, especially when it comes to your health.

Also, you probably should’ve locked the door before undressing just for good measure since people were over.

But in the moment, you were too busy setting your camera up where you were kneeling on the floor at the foot of the bed to be concerned about that.

That day you were testing out a new toy.

Distractedly, you took note of a couple of people asking you if that was your boyfriend’s shirt you had lifted over your tits.

You ignored them.

Couldn’t a girl own an oversized tee without getting any flack?

Trivial comments like that aside, a good majority of the audience are fawning over how wet you were and how perfect you bouncing tits look being played with.

Your head fell back and your eyes fluttered shut.

You were sitting there, knees raised to your chest and legs splayed, your gushing pussy in full display where the toy was stuffed deep into her tightness, vibrating pleasantly.

‘I’m close…’ you mumbled throatily, squeezing your tits and pinching your stiff nipples in between your moving fingers. You moved your hips move faster, feeling the toy buzz against fluttering walls. You took a hand off one of your tits to rub at your engorged clit. ‘Fuckfuckfuck…’

Deep in your high, you didn’t hear the door open and close with a foreboding click.

You only heard your name being called by a deep, smooth voice through the heady haze.

Instantly you stilled.

When you snapped your head to look over her shoulder Jungkook was there, hands in his pockets, leaning against your doorframe with his sleeves drawn up to his elbows, muscle roped, inked skin on full display.

When he tilted his head to the side a little, appraisively, you dared to say as a quaking chill ran down your spine and your entire body felt like it was about to burst into flames, a bit of his hair fell over his face.

His eyes were like two black in the dark as he took you in, dragging his gaze up and down your exposed body languidly.

In the back of your mind, you wished the ground would part and swallow you whole.

‘Your mom,' he starts, capturing your attention wholly, dark gaze finally flickering to your face, his voice suddenly lower, hoarser. ‘She sent me over to check on you.’

It took you a moment to realize where you were, who you were, who he was.

It was like a bucket of cold water had been dropped over your head.

Jeon Jungkook, the school's resident trouble maker, soon to be your step brother, just walked in on you fingering yourself in in front of a recording camera.

Well. Yeah.

You gulped.

You were royally fucked.

depending on the response I get I might ( most probably will ) delete this. not because I'm ashamed of my work. because I'm embarrassed of myself. I really swore to never write again and here I am. sigh. yes, I have seen my previous works and noticed just how terrible they were and this is a big reason why. so sorry for putting you through that. a million apologies.

also, that's right. I have adopted a new style which might not be to everyone's liking. another reason why.

anyways, if you liked this filth ( i know it seems mild but I can tell you it's very likely gonna get worse ) please idk uh... fuck this isn't ao3. hm.

like and drop by in the ask box if you liked it and want to see more. it makes me happy. its like serotonin fuel to me.

have a nice day. see you next time ( maybe ). stay fresh. yeah. 💜💜.

#bangtan #bts #bts angst #bts fluff #bts imagine #bts scenario #bts smut #bts au #jeon jungkook #jungkook scenario #jungkook imagine #jungkook smut #bts x reader #jungkook x reader #bts high school au #jungkook high school au

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fandomwriterstuff · 3 years ago

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“We’re a well-oiled team of military-grade kindergarteners,” his best friend, and the only other human on the ship who would understand what kindergarten was, continued chastising him and his companions. “The level of education and training among the three of you eclipses that of the entire rest of the members of this operation,” Annabeth continued, pointing her finger individually at himself, his pilot Jason, and his Chief Science Officer Nico. “You know, I’m not that surprised with you, Percy, but you are our XO so you should really be more responsible,” he winced at that, still feeling a bit of imposter syndrome at being the Commander of the USS Olympus. “Jason, shouldn’t you be piloting a ship or something?” At that, he saluted her and did an about face before scampering off to get into more trouble. “And you, you’re definitely way too responsible to have gotten mixed up with this Seaweed Brain and Sparky, so what’s in this tomfoolery for you?”

Nico, the only Neptunian on the ship, shifted his large black wings self consciously under the scrutiny of their Chief of Operations. Percy, as the Commander of the vessel, felt obligated to protect his usually stoic and well-behaved… acquaintance? Di Angelo was reserved, almost standoffish, and resented anyone who tried to stick up for him for some reason, but that didn’t stop Percy’s stupid seaweed brain from doing so. Hence the acquaintance. Percy was 99% sure Di Angelo didn’t consider him a friend. But he was nice to Percy and a great officer, so Percy considered him his friend.

“It was my fault, Annie,” he used her childhood nickname carefully, not knowing whether it would soften her up or piss her off more. He was hoping for softening. “It was just another one of Jason and my dumb ideas that we thought we would need a scientist to help with, and we didn’t want to piss off Leo by involving him in it. You know how he is about his engineer and warp cores and whatnot,” Percy held his hands up placatingly. “Leave Di Angelo out of this, he has sciencey things to do, isn’t that right?” Percy side-eyed his companion who (not surprisingly) rolled his eyes.

“I try not to get involved with human pranks or even Jovian mischief, but Officer Grace and First Officer Jackson were about to be meddling with my linguistics team. It isn’t my duty to tell my superiors what to do, so I sought out the next best option, supervising and ensuring no lasting damage was done to the physical or emotional state of the linguistics team. Now,” Here Percy held in a smirk as Di Angelo shrugged. “If they caused interference with the machinery of the ship, that wouldn’t be my expertise, so I allowed it to happen and-” Percy held back a laugh as the other male started speaking even faster to get everything out as Annabeth turned redder and redder. “I’m very sorry about that, truly, but I had no control over the situation.”

“No control over the situation? You three broke our LIT machine and now we have to go back to Earth as soon as we pass close enough to fix it. Soon enough nobody on this ship will understand each other,” the woman across from them crossed her arms and Percy shrunk back a bit.

“I want to make a joke about a machine being called “LIT,” but I feel like it isn’t the right time,” he muttered. “I know the Linguistic Inhibition Technology is important, but most of us have a working understanding of at least one other language, so it shouldn’t be a huge issue, right?”

“You know it works by connecting to the implant technology in our brains, so as it shuts down one by one, members of this ship from spaces stations and planets far and wide will have no clue why they suddenly can’t understand their XO, or their Chief Officer, or their best friend. So you better explain this. And you have to tell them that we’re going straight back to Earth to fix it because no nearby planets have the same brain implant tech as us. Damn Terrans and their brand name technology copyrights,” Annabeth grumbled and finally turned around to walk off.

“Hey, you’re Terran, too!” Percy shouted after her, but she just flipped him the bird.

“She can do that?” Di Angelo asked, side-eyeing Percy.

“Yeah, she’s been my best friend since we were twelve. As long as she doesn’t undermine my authority in front of everyone else, I don’t really care. I’ve done way worse to her,” Percy laughed at the other man’s frown. “Nothing bad, just pranks and things of that sort. Maybe when we get back to Earth we can show you where we’re from. You never set foot off of the training grounds while you were in school.”

“I would… like that,” Di Angelo paused and gave Percy a soft smile.

“Great,” Percy patted the younger male on the shoulder and made his way to the Command Center.

Percy sat himself down in the rotating chair and pressed on the comms device.

“Gooooood evening crew of the USS Olympus, this is your Commanding Officer, Percy Jackson, speaking,” he smiled at the engineering crew that was scuttling by, only for one of them to pause and look at him like he was speaking a different language… Whoops.

“There was a malfunction with the Linguistic Inhibition Technology and we will be returning to Earth henceforth to repair it before the damage becomes problematic. You may experience glitches with your implant technology and may revert to only understanding your first language and those you have studied extensively. If somebody looks like they’re not understanding what I’m saying right now, please escort them to the linguistics team in Science Bay 3. Carry on. Jackson, out.” He clicked again and the mic turned off.

He sighed, this would be one of his bigger mistakes. They were supposed to be exploring, but they couldn’t do that if nobody could speak to one another. One trip home couldn’t hurt him, and he was sure Annabeth would be happy to see her father.

It wasn’t until later after the Chief Officer meeting when someone finally asked Percy about Earth. For many of the non-humans on the ship, Earth was a place to get education and training to go out in the star fleet, and they never set foot outside the campus grounds, just like Di Angelo. But people had stopped asking him questions because Earth was basically “Space Australia,” as Annabeth had explained to him. The adaptability of humans and their need to pack bond astounded many and horrified many others. So, he stopped talking about home.

It was a new member of their ship, Novax (a Vulcan who was a part of Leo’s engineering team), who asked him about it first.

“I hear Earth is 75% made of pure salt water, and is filled with animals of all kinds. Do you have a favorite water animal?” he asked Percy excitedly.

“Definitely dolphins, though they aren’t underwater creatures. Like humans they need oxygen to breathe, and come up for air very often. My favorite actual underwater species would have to be a hippocampus from Neptune. I’ve always wanted to go and see one, but my human anatomy prevents me from going on-planet,” Percy explained and sipped on his hot tea.

“There are a million creatures in the ocean and you pick one that doesn’t breathe underwater?” Clarisse grunted. His Chief Tactical Officer was a brutish Martian, but very specialized in weapons. “And your second favorite isn’t even Terran.”

“What else do you know about the ‘ocean’?” Novax breathed, leaning forward.

“Eh, not much,” Percy shrugged.

“I’m not sure I heard that correctly, maybe my LIT unit isn’t functioning well,” another member of engineering asked, Nyssa. “Your planet is 75% water and you don’t even know what is inside it?”

“I could tell you about the people who spend their life learning about what survives in the deep depths,” Percy looked up, knowing he had all of the non-Terrans hooked on every word. Even Di Angelo had paused in his note taking and was staring wide-eyed at Percy. “But I don’t know if you’d want to know.”

“No we do!” Nyssa exclaimed. “There are people who dedicate their lives to a place that’s literally not navigable by humans, the main inhabitants of the planet?”

“Well as you said, most of the planet is water. Which means that coastal communities are filled with fisherman, whalers, swimmers, and more. I could tell you about some of those. I could also tell you about the scientists that spend years of their lives building bots that can’t even come close to withstanding the pressure at the deepest depths without imploding, or I could tell you about those that do come close,” he shrugged.

“What happened to those?”

“The video feed cut out after only seeing multiple rows of sharp, jagged teeth,” Annabeth answered, her sharp grin frightening those who hadn’t noticed her. Some forgot that she was Terran, because she was also half Minervan.

“I could tell you about whales. Beautiful, they come in black and white or grey or blue. But they can be as big as almost 100 feet long. That’s as long as most pirate ships. And they could fit about 400 average sized humans in their mouths. You don’t want to cross one of them. And they only live on the surface. The things that live in the deep,” Percy shuddered for effect. There were no Neptunians on the ship, so there were no natural water dwellers there, so all of his rapt listeners were shocked by this information. “There’s the anglerfish. They light up the dark with an antenna on top of their heads, and the light lures in prey. But it’s so dim elsewhere that you don’t see their big sharp teeth until you’re right up against them,” he murmured. “Giant squids are almost as big as whales but not nearly as peaceful and beautiful. They have eight arms and two tentacles that could wrap around any boat and crush it.”

“Ten limbs?” Nyssa whispered, clearly disturbed.

“Plus, the Portuguese Man o’ War,” Percy shrugged nonchalantly. “Also known as the floating terror. It’s like a big blue jellyfish that sits innocently on top of the water with huge blue tentacles that sit just underneath with a sting strong enough to kill a full grown human.”

“Don’t worry,” Annabeth grinned that shark grin again. “Percy won’t tell you about the stories of the old days. He doesn’t want to scare you.”

“That was the not scary part?” Novax gulped.

“Anyway, I just got notified that we’ll be back on Earth in a few days, so brace yourselves,” and with that, she stood and left them all staring after her. When the door clicked shut, Percy had all eyes back on him. He shrugged.

“Don’t look at me. I wasn’t going to tell you about the kr- nevermind,” he stood. “Di Angelo, with me,” the younger officer stood, back to business and was at Percy’s side again in a moment. “Clear your schedule, you’re spending shore leave with me, pal.”

“Great,” came the deadpan reply.

“Don’t sound so somber,” Percy rolled his eyes. “I’m just going to show you the beach and maybe a good gay bar. You need to let off some steam my dude.”

The other male reddened.

“That is so… That is…” he huffed. “Highly inappropriate.” he glared down at the ground and Percy felt a little bad, maybe the guy wasn’t out? But it was clear he had a preference for males. Oh well, that foot was already in Percy’s mouth.

“Fine. But I will be attending and I am a great dancer so you’re missing out,” he winked at the flustered officer and made his way back to his cabin. It would be an interesting few days.

He made a plan with Annabeth. Day one before shore leave, Percy would spread a rumor to Novax about the kraken. Bigger than a giant squid and meaner. Known to crush entire pirate ships in the olden days.

Day two, Annabeth would mention sirens to Nyssa. Hideous creatures that could lure you in with their voices and lead you to believe you were bringing your ship in to everything you ever wanted, when in reality you would crash your ships and then drown.

Day three, Percy would tell Leo about the Megalodon. A definitely very real shark so big you couldn’t even imagine it. Percy shuddered at that one.

“But, there are some good things,” Percy was speaking to Nico Di Angelo from his Commander chair, in ear shot of some of the participants of the conversation a few nights prior. “Mermaids, the siren’s nicer cousin species. And the lost city of Atlantis. Known to be a great and bountiful city, lost to the sea and cursed by the gods to be stuck down there forever. Some believe it still exists, but it’s within the Bermuda Triangle.”

“What, pray tell, is the Bermuda Triangle,” Clarisse sighed.

“Hard to explain. Ships just… go in… and they never come out,” Annabeth shrugged. “Planes go down. Ships wreck. People who go in don’t come back out, so we don’t know if Atlantis is really there or not.”

“That’s… terrifying,” Novax whispered as he walked by.

Percy was sure he had created a healthy fear of Earth’s oceans in his crew. And he meant to, because while he loved the beach and swimming, he did want to make them shy away from the depths. They wouldn’t do well to explore it.

#percy jackson #humans are weird #humans are space orcs #star trek #fusion #nicercy #percico #if you squint

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iamnmbr3 · 3 months ago

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To each their own opinion, but personally I like book 1, and this actually makes me think of another area where book 7 falls short. One of the reasons I like it is that it has reread value. There's fun little nods to things that are revealed later and so when you read it again there's all sorts of fun stuff. I feel like the first 6 books all have that. There's a certain depth and ornateness to them that makes it very fun to go back through them. And I feel like that's another area where for the most part book 7 falls completely flat. The writing style is boring and very economical. Just "this happened then that happened" type stuff with no sense of wonder and no elaborate descriptions and nothing with any depth to analyze or to notice little details on reread. Plus, even on a first read most of what is being described just isn't very interesting.

I can go back to book 3 and write a ton of meta analyzing Snape and Sirius's interactions or to book 6 and break down the world building implications of what's revealed in the Riddle memories or to book 5 and trace Ron's relationship with his family and how it informs his character. There's not much I can do with most scenes in book 7. They're just kind of there and very surface level. And even the surface level isn't exciting. Sorry but I didn't come into the final book of a 7 part series of epic fantasy books about wizards to read about wedding planning and camping trips gone wrong.

And I totally agree that there were a ton of missed opportunities with the locket (and other Horcruxes). Imagine a locket that gave us an interactive, Borgin and Burkes era Tom Riddle - very sentient and aware and dangerous. Imagine them perhaps trying to trick him into giving information that could be used to find and destroy other Horcruxes and him in turn trying to trick and manipulate them and figure out what they want in turn. Imagine the potential for them to have to face destroying the locket in a situation where it very clearly fees like killing a person.

I also love the idea of them going on the run in a more magical way - perhaps kind of like what Slughorn did - and having to deal with the consequences of that. (Btw love that JKR intended for Slughorn to be in hiding bc he feared Voldemort, but then she forgot about that and in book 7 he's just chilling and teaching at the Voldemort-controlled school which in-universe makes it seem pretty clear that he was actually hiding from Dumbledore).

I also agree that adding Fiendfyre as a means of destruction was a bad call (although I feel a bit conflicted about this since for drarry reasons I do love the Fiendfyre sequence lol) with simple ways to get around it like what you mentioned.

I also agree about not seeing the war. I have mixed feelings about this though I do think the fact that there is a stealth takeover of the Ministry and that most people go along with it is really interesting and builds on the them of Voldemort's movement being a symptom of the larger systemic problems in the wizarding world. The problem is that this theme, which was heavily built up from book 3 on - and especially in book 5 it feels like the reader is really cudgeled over the head with it - suddenly gets abandoned. For me this is the biggest missed opportunity in book 7 and the most bizarre writing choice on JKR's part.

Because the wizarding world being very flawed and bigoted in a number of ways isn't just something that you notice if you think about it (though certainly I think if you do some deep analysis it's even more flawed then perhaps originally intended). It's very much something that the text intentionally highlights and the characters discuss. I mean it's discussed very openly that werewolves and giants for example, mostly back Voldemort because things are so bad for them that they think he might actually be marginally better.

That's why even the first time I read it as a child, I thought it was obvious that part of the happy ending was going to be the formation of a new, less divided society that dealt with these divisions. And then it all gets dropped. Without the epilogue it kinda could've still worked bc book 7 ends with everyone sitting together regardless of house or species and that could've implied that they were going to build a better world with less divisions and prejudices. But then the epilogue shows us that nope, that doesn't happen at all.

It could've been so cool if the trio/Order ended up rallying the goblins to their cause by making meaningful concessions. If if Ron had to truly confront his own prejudices and the way a lot of his attitudes are not that different from the Malfoys' and he got to grow beyond that in a substantive manner rather than just a sort of throwaway line during the battle.

There are bits I love in book 7 - like pretty much all of the Battle of Hogwarts sequence - but there are so many missed opportunities and it feels like it doesn't really deliver on the promise of the previous books. It doesn't match them in terms of quality, contradicts them on a number of plot and characterization points, and most damningly drops a lot of major plot and thematic elements that were set up throughout the rest of the series.

Normally, I post theories on this blog, and what I usually do is solve plot holes, but I'm currently rereading Deathly Hallows, and I honestly forgot how stupid some decisions there are. So, I'm compiling some of them here to maybe theorize and solve these plot holes later. But for now, I'm baffled.

1. I just reached the part where they started camping in the woods, and Harry just started being hungry, and I don't think I can adequately describe how dumb that is. Like, I can get wanting to stay hidden and stuff, but why not call Kreacher?

I mean, Harry showed in HBP he can just call Kreacher to him:

But the question was, how to call him? What did you do? Quietly, tentatively, Harry spoke into the darkness. “Kreacher?” There was a very loud crack, and the sounds of scuffling and squeaks filled the silent room.

(HBP, 419)

Why not call Kreacher and tell him to bring food to the tent? He's a house-elf, so he could apparate through their wards with no problem. They could've had Kreacher's cooking still, I just don't get it.

2. They didn't actually need to leave Grimmauld Place at all. The book explains it like this:

“Harry, I think he can. I—I forced him to let go with a Revulsion Jinx, but I’d already taken him inside the Fidelius Charm’s protection. Since Dumbledore died, we’re Secret-Keepers, so I’ve given him the secret, haven’t I?” There was no pretending; Harry was sure she was right. It was a serious blow. If Yaxley could now get inside the house, there was no way that they could return. Even now, he could be bringing other Death Eaters in there by Apparition.

(DH, 271)

But Yaxley wouldn't be a Secret Keeper, he couldn't bring other Death Eaters inside. This isn't how the magic works.

After Dumbledore dies, everyone he told the secret to becomes the Secret Keeper. Hermione is a Secret Keeper. She can reveal the secret to Yaxley by appparating him, but that doesn't turn Yaxley into a Secret Keeeper. It's just one Death Eater who knows how to get in that Harry and Co can kidnap, obliviate, or kill if they're really stressed about it. Yaxley couldn't bring anyone else inside regardless of how much he wanted to. He isn't a Secret Keeper, so all the other Death Eaters would've had to wait outside and watch the place the house should be in like they did up to this point.

And sure, Snape is a Secret Keeper but considering he somehow lied his way out of telling them the secret, even though we see Death Eaters stationed outside Grimmauld Place, I think it's safe to say, he wouldn't tell even after Yaxley knew and potentially returned with this information. I mean, the fact the Death Eaters are watching outside Grimmauld Place tells us Snape didn't tell them, and it should tell Harry, Ron, and Hermione Snape didn't betray the secret, as otherwise, the Death Eaters would've just broken in to search for them.

3. If we're talking of the Fidelius Charm and Secret Keepers, I don't get why Bill and Arthur Weasley have to be their own Secret Keepers. Why create this plot hole so late in the game? I mean, up until book 7, I didn't question why James and Lily had to have a third party as their Secret Keeper. It was just how the spell worked. Well, not anymore.

So, now I have to wonder why they were convinced they needed someone else, someone outside the house? Perhaps it was out of paranoia? So that if something happened to them anyway there'd be someone outside who could bring help?

4. And don't even get me started on the Battle of the Seven Potters. I mean, apparition or side-along apparition are completely viable methods of transportation, so why brooms? Wtf?

I mean, the Order makes this same ludicrous decision in OotP, when they transport Harry from the Dursleys to Grimmauld Place on brooms, so at least they're consistent in their stupidity.

Like, I could make an excuse for the use of brooms if they're trying to evade the Trace. According to how I believe the Trace works, the Trace wouldn't pick up on a broom the same way it didn't pick up on the flying Ford Angelica. It's an item already enchanted, magic isn't being cast, so it doesn't pick on it. So, while the Trace would pick up on apparition, it won't pick up on broom flight.

The problem with this is that in OotP we see the Order cast magic inside the Dursleys' house, making any chance of avoiding the Trace moot:

“Don’t be stupid, it’ll be much quicker if I — pack!” cried Tonks, waving her wand in a long, sweeping movement over the floor. Books, clothes, telescope, and scales all soared into the air and flew pell-mell into the trunk.

(OotP, 53)

And in DH, Harry is already 17, and the Trace shouldn't be a problem for him, so this excuse doesn't really hold water...

I'm sure I'll remember more as I continue reading, but these are the ones that really bother me now. Rant over (at least until I find a hopefully not super contrived way to make all this make sense in-universe).

#Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows #DH criticism #Harry Potter

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noteguk · 4 years ago

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danger zone | knj | m

— summary; in which namjoon lives a dangerous life and sometimes you can’t really stand it. Still, you can’t step away either.

— contents and warnings; smut, a little spark of angst and a fuckload of fluff, criminal!namjoon x reader, established relationship, dom!namjoon and sub!reader, breast play, fingering, oral (f rec), dirty talk, begging, Namjoon has a big dick, unprotected sex, creampie, a bit of possessiveness, multiple orgasms, overstimulation

— words; 4,5k

— author’s note; this was supposed to be a quick pwp drabble but here we are…

Words could not explain the relief that washed over you when you saw the headlights peaking through the diaphanous living room curtains, blasting inside your house like beacons of divine hope. You ran to the front door faster than ever before, stepping into the cold mist of the night as he closed the car door behind him. You managed to see his friend, Hoseok, waving you goodbye before he pulled out of the driveway and you started balling your eyes out.

And then you couldn’t really see anything else.

Namjoon did not hesitate to walk toward you, wrapping his strong arms around your lower back and pulling you closer to his warm chest. He smelled of vanilla and cigarettes, and your knees almost buckled at the thought of losing that scent forever.

“Baby, you’re gonna catch a cold,” he mumbled, placing a soft kiss on the top of your head. Namjoon positioned one hand on the nape of your neck, playing with your hair as you whimpered against his hot embrace, fists clenched over his pecs. You were wearing only pyjama shorts and a tank top, and the gelid breeze of the night showed you no mercy. “Why don’t we go inside?”

For a moment you thought that your legs would fail you, but, to your relief, it was just a feeble impression. Namjoon held you tightly against him as you two walked back inside your house, mumbling how much he missed you, how much he couldn’t wait to see you again. All that you could do was to listen, with your nose stuffy and eyes tearing up, as he started telling you about his past few weeks.

You had been sure you had lost him that time. Namjoon had never stayed longer than a day without talking to you (or at least telling you that he would be a bit M.I.A. for the following weeks, because of the secretive nature of his work), and the fact that you had gotten nothing but silence for almost three weeks was enough to make your mind go wild. It wasn’t hard to imagine that the worst had finally happened.

There was no one you could call — as in, you had a few numbers, but you were prohibited to get in contact with them. Namjoon had made it clear that he didn’t want you to get involved in his business, and something as simple as a phone call to the wrong person could be enough to get you wrapped up in an official investigation. He had made special efforts to make sure that, in case all went to shit, the feds could never prove that you knew anything about his illicit schemes. If something happened to him — prison, death, something in between — Namjoon would be at peace knowing that you were safe and taken care of.

So, you had been good, and you didn’t call. You had just waited, fighting through your normal routine and forging fake smiles towards your coworkers. By the time that the second week rolled around, you were considering calling every morgue in the country — and then quickly melted down once you realized he was probably not even using his real name. There was nothing you could do but wait. For god knows how long.

Times like those made you want to give up on everything. You and Namjoon had a chemistry that you never felt before, you understood each other in levels that you never thought possible. He loved you with all of his heart and you felt the same. And yet, you were exhausted from being so scared for him, from feeling so helpless in the face of his unstable and unpredictable job.

You had told yourself that, if he came back, you would end it all.

But now that he was standing in front of you, things weren’t so easy.

Your boyfriend took you to the kitchen, where he warmed up a drink for you as he told you about how he had spent those last few weeks. Namjoon explained that one of his shipments had been stolen (of what, you didn’t dare to ask), and he had to take care of it himself. During that time, he and his crew were being attacked and watched constantly, and he would never risk the idea of pulling you into that mess. It was an unspoken truth that having you as a hostage would make all of his defenses crumble. Expressing any sort of weakness in his business was like bleeding in a sea full of sharks.

You understood, because of course you would. And he understood when you told him about how terrified, how overwhelmingly worried you had been.

“I wanted to call Yoongi, Hoseok… I don’t know, anyone,” you said, taking your cup of tea closer to your face. The heat emanated in waves, warming up your lips as the thin lines of smoke curled up in the air. You took a small slip, and the coldness of the night was just a memory then. “But I knew that I shouldn’t do that, so I just… Joon, I thought you were dead.”

“I’m so sorry, love.” Namjoon pulled you in, wrapping one arm around your back and pressing a kiss against your forehead. You always felt so safe in his arms, like nothing could ever touch you. “I know how you feel, it’s unfair making you go through this.”

“It is.” You sniffed, looking down at your tea cup. “But it’s all for you. And I love you, Joon.”

There was a second of silence as the words floated in the space between the two of you, a deep sigh from your part as you placed the cup on the marble surface of the kitchen island. That house felt too big for you, too spacious and filled with expensive stuff, and it whispered doubts in your ear. You didn’t know where all that money came from, you often didn’t know what Namjoon was doing or what he was thinking about. You had no idea what kind of dangers he faced every single day, or the hoops he had to jump through to keep you safe.

You could have given up on everything already. You knew that he would understand. But you didn’t. Time and time again, you would realize that all your momentaneous bravery towards a breakup was short-lived: you loved him more than you feared losing him. You wanted Namjoon and no one else. You knew that ending things and stepping into an ordinary life, with an ordinary guy and ordinary worries, would never cut it. You had learned to live in the danger zone that was your relationship with Namjoon, and you doubted you could ever truly step away from it.

Namjoon knew that too. He looked down at you with a deep mixture of tenderness and devotion in his dark eyes, caressing your cheek as he dove in to place a kiss on your lips. “I love you too, baby,” he murmured. “I missed you so much.”

You melted in his hold, surrounding his waist with your arms and pushing yourself against his chest. “Missed you too,” you said. “I know why you keep these things secret from me, but it fucking sucks.”

Namjoon chuckled, his calloused hands caressing your hair. You realized that he probably was just as worried as you — not knowing if you were safe, if you hadn’t gotten yourself in a messy situation trying to find him. Needless to say, he was filled with pride knowing you did everything he had asked you to. “I’m gonna tell you a secret, but you can’t tell anyone.” The suspense in his voice was enough for you to pull away from his chest, looking up at him with expectant eyes. Namjoon cupped your checks with his hands and smiled. “You're the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.”

You could not fight the smirk that crawled up on your lips. That simple sentence was enough to shift the weight of the atmosphere around the two of you, allowing for your hurt to slip away. “Bullshit,” you said.

“I’m serious.” He raised his eyebrows, lowering himself so he could place another pec on your lips. “Inside and out.”

That time, you could not hold back your laugh. “You’re so cheesy.”

Your comment seemed to light up something inside his head, because, the next second, Namjoon was pulling away with a click of his tongue. “Speaking of cheesy, I almost forgot,” he started to say, turning around. “I got you something. It’s in the bedroom with the rest of my stuff.”

You stood still for a second, trying to understand his words. “You... got me something? In the middle of all of that mess?” Then you were rushing behind him, going up the stairs as Namjoon simply hummed in agreement. “Joon, it’s okay, I—“

“Accept my gift, baby.” He stopped as he reached the second floor, waiting for you to catch up. “It’s not gonna make up for the time away, but I want to make you happy.”

“What is it?” You asked, wet eyes blinking up at him, but he only smiled and turned around, gesturing for you to follow him into the bedroom.

Namjoon’s present was a dress — or, rather, the dress. It was this beautiful long gown you had seen a few months back during one of your trips to the mall, a grandiose red thing that wrapped around the mannequin’s upper body before expanding just beneath its thighs. You remember feeling overwhelmed by its beauty, holding Namjoon’s hand tighter as you shared your amazement with him. Your fascination was short lived, though, because soon the price tag scared you away and you made yourself forget about that overpriced dream.

Until that night, that was. Namjoon told you he had the gift ready to go before it all went down with the shipment situation, and the image of you wearing it was one of the few things that managed to keep him sane for so long. The glimmer of happiness in his eyes was enough for you to silence yourself before you could argue about the dress’ ostentatious price, instead choosing to thank him.

You changed in the large bathroom of your master suite, eyes lost in the way the red shade, pure as sin, clung to your body like it was made for you. There was a wave of love gushing out of your heart, a joyfulness that only came from those little surprises that Namjoon would give you. You loved it. You loved him.

“God,” Namjoon mumbled to himself when you stepped out of the bathroom, his figure sitting on the corner of your large bed. There was a moment of silence as his eyes ran all over your body, trying to memorize every little detail of you, his mind going blank and his mouth dropping in awe. “I might as well fall to my knees and ask for your hand in marriage now.”

You giggled, stepping closer to the bed. “Careful, I might say yes,” you told him, placing your arms around his shoulders. Namjoon looked up at you with so much devotion that you thought you could collapse at any given point. “I loved it. Thank you, Joon.”

He hummed, taking his large palms to rest on either side of your waist. You could feel his heat emanating through the fabric of the dress, sending waves of anticipation up and down your body. “I’m glad you did,” he spoke, his voice much lower than before. You knew Namjoon enough to know exactly what he was thinking, and there was nothing you wanted more than that. “My girl is so pretty…”

His lips were on your neck soon after, nipping and sucking your skin like they were made for that. Namjoon’s hands were trying to explore everywhere at the same time, moving from to your breasts to your waist, then back down your thighs and up your hips and toward your ass — where he placed a strong grip.

“So fucking pretty… all mine,” he was speaking to himself at that point, his breath heavy around your collarbones. Namjoon tugged at the sides of the dress, completely ignoring the zipper as he tried to take it off of you.

You laughed at his eagerness. “Careful with the dress, Joon.”

“I’ll buy you another one.” He tugged at the fabric again, harder that time, and you were afraid that he was actually going to tear it in half if you didn’t act soon. “I’ll buy you any dress you want, don’t care if I ruin this one.”

“I don’t want any other dresses, though.” Your hands left his shoulders and moved up your back, finding the zipper and swiftly pulling it down. Soon enough, the dress was just a pool of redness circling your feet. “I just want you.”

Namjoon swallowed hard at the image of your bare body in full display for him — he should’ve known you wouldn’t wear any underwear with that piece of sin, and he couldn’t say that he was disappointed. All that it took you was one glimpse at his pants to see his hard cock already straining against the fabric, needy for you.

“So beautiful,” he said, reaching out to place his hand on your hip. Namjoon’s eyes were everywhere at once, drinking you up. You knew he was holding back, he could flip you over and fuck you into the mattress at any second he wished to. “Is this all for me, baby?”

“Yes,” you told him, taking his hand and guiding it to your breast. Namjoon squeezed the soft flesh, making you whimper at the feeling. “All yours, Joon.”

“All mine,” he repeated, finally breaking out of his trance and meeting your stare. Namjoon was probably stressed out of his mind, and you just managed to turn all that negative energy into pure sexual stamina. Not that you were complaining. “Want you to lay down for me, baby.”

You did not hesitate to do as he requested, moving around the large circular bed and placing your head against the soft pillows. There was a fire of expectation burning at the pit of your stomach and accumulating between your thighs, which only grew as you watched your boyfriend undress for you.

Namjoon was quick and objective with his movements and soon enough he was naked, his golden skin shining under the warm lights and his big cock standing erect and flushed, ready for you. Just by looking at him you could feel your walls clenching, a sigh perishing on your lips at the memory of his member inside you, stretching you out like no one else could. Your boyfriend didn’t only have one of the biggest dicks you had ever seen, but he also knew how to use it — a dangerous combination that mostly explained why you couldn’t walk straight after a good night by his side. Again: not that you were complaining.

The mattress dipped under his weight, your eyes following his movements as Namjoon placed himself between your legs. His eyes were hungry and focused, more than you had seen in a while, and when he commanded you to “Open your legs for me, love,” you couldn’t obey fast enough.

Namjoon hummed in content as he leaned down between your thighs, one finger lazily dragging upwards between your soaked folds. He barely touched you, but you were so on the edge that the motion was enough to make you sigh. “Such a pretty cunt,” he said, and the finger moved back down, tenderly rubbing around your sensitive entrance. You flinched at the feeling, biting on your lip to suppress a moan. “So wet for me. Did you touch yourself while I was gone, baby?”

There was no reason to lie, he would know regardless. “Yes, but only once.”

It was true: after Namjoon had stopped contacting you, you were so scared that you didn’t even think about anything sexual — nor were you in the right mindset for that.

He seemed to like your response, humming for a moment before he took a second digit to your entrance — never going in, though, only teasing its surroundings. “Was it good, baby?”

You knew exactly what he wanted to hear, “Not as good as you,” you said, leaning on your elbows so you could hold his gaze better. Namjoon was looking at you like a starved man, and you knew it was just a matter of time before his own self-control ran thin. “Your cock is so much better.”

He chuckled — a deep, melodious chuckle that sent heat straight to your core. “Needy girl,” he said, gaze flickering towards your face. “I can’t give it to you just like that. What’s the fun in doing something so fast? You have to earn my cock.”

Patience was not a virtue you shared with your boyfriend, though, and that was why Namjoon loved to push you to the limits of your self-restraints. You had been foolish to think that things would be different just because he missed you. “How?” You asked, ready to do whatever he asked.

Namjoon hummed, pretending to think for a moment. His fingers left your opening behind and he moved closer to your pussy, taking a long look at it before saying, “Cum on my tongue and I’ll think about giving it to you.”

Before you could even think about what to respond, his mouth was on you and your head was spinning. Namjoon repeated the same motions of his fingers — licking a thick stripe up your folds and then back down, protruding the wet muscle against your entrance, swirling his tongue around it. You whimpered at the feeling, body crashing against the bed and fingers intertwining on his hair as he decided to move back up, lips wrapping around your clit as he gave you a gentle suck, humming when you started to moan out his name.

“Right there, please,” you asked, your voice nothing but a pathetic plea.

Namjoon, however, was marching to the beat of his own drum. He ignored your request and neglected your clit so his mouth could return to your opening, this time allowing his tongue inside you, drinking every drop of wetness you were giving him. A tremulous breath got caught in your throat when he pressed two of his fingers on your hole, coating it with his saliva before plunging in.

You cried out, your back arching off the mattress as he continued with his ministrations; his fingers stretching you out as his mouth returned to play with your clit. Namjoon had you the way he liked it: a hot mess sprawled on the bed, seeking your high like it was the most important thing in the world. And he, of course, wouldn’t mind giving it to you as many times as you wanted it.

The sounds you were making were lewd, mixing with the noises of his fingers pumping in and out of your clenching heat. Namjoon was only human: his cock was so hard that he was losing his mind, and the gorgeous sight of you fumbling under his touches was making him wish you could just cum so he could fuck the soul out of you.

And because you two were in sync, that was exactly what you did. Namjoon watched in awe as you came around his digits, tightening around him so perfectly that he swore he was about to spill himself on his pristine white sheets. But he managed to keep it together as you continued to roll your pussy against his face, milking the last drops of your orgasm as your wetness dripped down his fingers.

Namjoon moved away when you started to produce those high-pitched whimpers that signaled your sensitivity. He climbed up over you and crashed his lips on yours, humming as your tongues danced together, filling your mouth with your own taste. His cock was enlarged and heavy against your lower body, barely brushing on your sensitive clit.

He pulled away so he could speak, his voice was a devilish low groan swimming in the hot air. “Want my cock inside you, baby?”

You were spent already, both of you knew that, and yet there was no hesitation in your tone when you promptly answered with a timid, “Yes, please.”

No matter how much you loved Namjoon’s mouth and fingers on you, there was nothing in the world that could compare to the feeling of having his cock thrusting inside you, filling you up so perfectly. You could fight against a bit of pain, you had done that a few times already, and you knew how fast your boyfriend was to turn everything back into pleasure.

“Can you cum again for me?” He asked, lowering his hand so he could align himself with your pussy. You swallowed at the brushing of his head against your hole, heartbeat quickening in anticipation. “Can you do one more, baby?”

You nodded, looking deep inside his eyes. “Yes, as many times as you want.”

“I don’t deserve you,” Namjoon spoke gently, honest as ever. He leaned in and kissed you slowly, savoring the caresses of your lips as he sighed against the kiss. “You’re too good for me.”

And then he was pushing himself inside you, spreading you open like he was meant to be there, filling you up to the brim. You heaved and held to his shoulders as Namjoon reached incredibly deep inside you, getting used to his size. No matter how many times he fucked you, every time still felt like the first.

“Fuck, your pussy feels perfect, like it was made for me,” he cursed, slowly thrusting inside you. You whimpered at the delicious drag of his cock against your walls, already experiencing the switch of pain to pleasure. “Keep your legs up for me, baby.”

You could only nod, pushing your legs to the level of your chest. That small change was enough to give Namjoon just a bit more space to slip into, a grunt exploding on his throat.

“Joon,” you called. Namjoon looked up at you, his eyes dazed and unfocused. “Fuck me, please.”

That was all that he needed. Self-control long forgotten, Namjoon buried his face on the crook of your neck and went to town — fucking you so fast and hard that you swore you had never moaned so loud in your life. Suddenly, everything was becoming too much: the bouncing of your breasts, the pressure of his hands on your thighs, the drilling of his hard cock inside you. Every worry you had those past few weeks were washed away just like that, barely an echo at the bottom of your head.

Namjoon was a mess above you, grunting and moaning out as his cock fucked you open, your walls clenching around him like you were his personal brand of heaven. “Fuck, you feel so tight,” he cried out, already recognizing that familiar pressure at the base of his spine. “Such a perfect pussy for me, baby.”

“Feels so good, Joon,” you said back, tugging at his hair. “Look at me.”

It seemed to take him an herculean amount of force, but Namjoon did as you requested, meeting that fucked-out gaze he adored so much. “What is it?”

You smiled tenderly at him, a timid moan falling from your lips. “I love you.”

Now Namjoon was absolutely sure that he was in paradise, floating in the clouds above. He could not hold back the smile that crossed his face. “I love you too, baby.” He kissed you. “Are you close?”

You nodded. “Really close.”

“Cum on my cock for me, then,” he urged you on, not stopping with his advances. He felt so good inside you; your mind was consumed by all of him: his smell, his warmth, the deepness of his voice and the lust in his gaze. At that moment, Namjoon was everything in the world for you. “Come on, I wanna feel it.”

And you did as he requested, clenching around his cock not even two minutes later. You sobbed and whimpered at the feeling, calling out his name again and again until Namjoon found his own high, spilling himself inside you, milking his cock in your pussy until you were full of him. He thrusted a few more times, trying to make that moment last a bit longer, and he only stopped once he started to grow soft inside you.

Namjoon turned around and crashed next to you on the mattress, his arm curling around your waist as you fumbled closer to him. With a happy sigh, you nestled against his chest, drowning in his warmth as his fingers caressed your skin.

The instant of peace was glorious, and you had almost started to drift away into a tranquil sleep when his voice broke the silence. “I’m gonna have to travel again next week,” he said.

Your heart started hammering against your chest, stomach curling in anxiety. You raised your head from his chest and stared at Namjoon, your lips opening and closing before you finally found your voice. “But… You just got home.”

“I know, that’s why you’re coming with me.” He smirked. You must’ve shown him the most confused expression, because Namjoon could not hold back his laugh. “It’s not business, baby, don’t worry. You and I are just going to have some well-deserved time together. How does that sound?”

Relief washed over you for the second time that night, calming your anxiety instantly. “Amazing,” you admitted, resting yourself back against him. You could really use a vacation, you didn’t know the last time you had a proper one. And even better if it was with him. “Thank you, Joon.”

“I should be the one thanking you.” He breathed out. The caresses on your skin were calling the sleepiness back into your body, and you knew it wouldn’t be long until you floated into the land of dreams. It has been a long time since you had a proper night of sleep — you had been too restless waiting for his return. “I know this is really hard for you. You know I’d understand if you wanted to leave.”

You smiled lovingly, placing a kiss against his chest. “It’s worth it if it’s for you,” you mumbled.

And you knew he felt the same.

#bts smut #namjoon smut #namjoon x reader #namjoon x you #bts x reader #bts x you #smut #fluff #angst #namjoon fluff #kim namjoon #criminal au #bts au #namjoon au #x you #x reader #reader insert

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cutemeat · 3 years ago

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What up I haven't watched any sunny for like 3 months so my mind is a perfectly smooth blank slate - what seasons/eps are you poking around at most rn, I'll go watch them too :)

!!!! OOO yes ok i have a few eps ive been specifically fixated on esp since s15 came out...

i have been dissecting "The Gang Tries Desperately to Win an Award" and "Gets Quarantined" because they really reflect the writing of season 15 and I think its probs intentional.. mostly the way the gang describes 'playing the game' in the Award ep with the bright lights, fun colors, and funny banter... reflects the visual/surface-level aesthetics and writing of s15 and the subtext of Gets Quarantined (I wrote up an essay on this but forgot to post it so hopefully ill get around to that soon LOL) is very useful when reading s15! so I've been rlly into those eps ... I ESP RECCOMEND COMPARING THE ENDINGS OF "GETS QUARANTINED" AND THE S15 FINALE IF U WANT.. the whole thing abt 'creating a visual harmony' and how the gang does exactly that w audio/visuals at the end of Gets Quarantined and how they Very Much Do Not attain harmony at the end of s15 despite the framing making it seem that way at first glance is just so... so good. mwah.

but also s3 as a whole i have been rlly into the past few months! it's just so great cuz I think s3 perfectly captures most of who these characters are at their core, obv not EXACTLY cuz they were always hiding shit but its so so close... esp when u watch s3 then jump to like s15 u can see so clearly the kind of ppl they're PRETENDING to be in later seasons compared to who they really are in earlier seasons... but also how frank is basically the opposite cuz while the younger half of the gang builds up their facades over the years, frank's facade fades away!!!

and ive also been rlly diving into s13 lately... like oh my god there's so much to that season that I feel like I never see anyone rlly talk abt?? like.. i think its just a time thing. like an episode from season 7 is gonna be a lot more beloved than an ep from s13 by default I think cuz we've just had more Time with it... but man s13 has some rlly good depth in a lot of places. also I just have a good tolerance for 'bad writing' ig so I don't care </3

and lastly ive been obsessed with 'Mops Twice' !!! I've been trying to rlly get a good reading done on that ep... currently, I'm rlly fixated on the ep's use of the color red and esp how its used on the lips of both female characters?? wondering if its sort of a play on the concept of a 'red herring' esp since the color red was used in that kind of way in The Sixth Sense which mac n charlie make a big deal over in s5... idk I just feel like that's another instance where newer seasons don't get as deep analysis but there's a lot there to pick apart!! (my main theory is charlie is an extremely unreliable narrator who makes himself out to be the underdog/hero/victim in a similar fashion to how the narrative of Fight Club can be read... n he makes everyone else out to be the villains in very stereotypical ways complimenting noir tropes.. like deetress being the sorta femme fatales.. macdennis being queercoded villains... idk there's just a lot LOL)

TL;DR... "The Gang Tries Desperately to Win an Award" & "Gets Quarantined" from S9, Seasons 3 & 13, and "Mops Twice" from S14 have been my main focuses as of late!

#im srry this is probs incoherent. im too lost in the sauce w this show truly

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sincreator · 1 year ago

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The way his jaw fit so perfectly against the palm of her hand. His cold, smooth skin only reminded her of what's important, of the present. In all honesty she felt ashamed for feeling this way. While Atarniel's heartbeat increased, practically giving her away, the Fallen could only think of her own, selfish desires rather than anyone else's. It'd been 15 years without that solid, comforting feeling of having him close. Despite their constant back and forth, barking orders and taunts at each other, Atarniel considered him to be the one who understood her best apart from her siblings. Two sides of the same coin, she should've realized her own mistake earlier, how she'd always longed for an equal, a partner just as depraved, hedonistic and ravenous like herself. She briefly wondered how he'd managed to score anyone as innocent and kind as Amara. Then again their tragic end spoke for itself.

Feeling some force around her neck, the Seraphim remained rather calm on the outside, but her heart beat faster. Especially as he pulled her into a hug, the Seraphim could barely breathe. With her face dug into his shirt, all she could smell was his cologne while her nails absentmindedly dragged along his back to caress him. Closing her eyes for just a moment, the Fallen enjoyed her little moment of peace while her fingers ever so slightly began to shake against his back, immediately forcing her to spread them away. "Can't keep a bad girl down," she'd refrained from crying, but she got extremely close to just let herself lose all composure. There wasn't enough time to really adjust before he tipped her chin up and leaned into a kiss. Deep, meaningful, devoid of haste and surface level attraction; the kiss itself reminded her of an Angel's choir singing to Ulthar, a thousand horns as the choir chanted his name, praising Him. She'd seen the light before, that bright promise of a world filled with sunlight and raw energy, but nothing would ever come close to this. Her warmth, despite his cold lips against hers, was enough to keep her warm within the Winter breeze. She forgot how to breathe then and just let herself get sucked into the kiss. With her mind practically completely focused on him, the Fallen snaked one hand down to his, to hold him close.

Finally ending the kiss, Atarniel drew back hastily, eyes suddenly opening wide as her heart skipped a beat. Eyelashes fluttered slightly in surprise. She shouldn't feel like this and yet... she did. "I really hate you for what you're doing to me," a funny way of saying I love you. Her voice sounded weak while her mind was clearly preoccupied with something else. Hazy, unfocused, she could feel her own pulse dance just underneath her skin at her neck. "I--," she tensed her jaw. The two of them really sucked at expressing themselves other than through longing gazes, touches and intimacy while her heart kept on beating like a drum. "I know you don't have the guts, but I might as well ask if you'd like to.. move in with me? Where else would you live, anyway?" she huffed, "Pluto's done for and I--," again, Atarniel stuttered before blood rose up to her cheeks. "think you'd suck so much less if you were nearby at all times. Just so I can keep an eye on you."

There'd been no recollection of the obscurity which hung over him in death; this black cloud that led to nowhere as his life seemed to have dissipated to nothingness until conjured forth once more. Death had come for millions it seemed, as the world descended into the chaos only Great Old Ones could uphold, terrorizing the world and pushing it past the brink of certain insanity. Salvador had thought of her in his last moments, how she'd have surely scoffed at his life culled too short; but that was then, before the remnants of the battle truly seeped in. One minute he'd surely been dead, head torn off as his life instantly snapped to blackness, and in what seemed like seconds the Lush had regained life, propelled backwards to the day before chaos filtered through their world. Invigorated with truculence, with a passion to fight, until emptiness overtook his heart as Zeke was pulled from their line completely.

Salvador didn't understand it; the premise that Zeke, the youngest of Hakan's line, had to make the ultimate sacrifice to save those who were far older than he. Zeke was a life not yet lived, someone who endured plenty of trauma far too quickly and Salvador had failed to protect him. He'd not blame Hakan, the Dracul had doted on Zeke far more than he'd ever done so for the Lush, and Salvador could not be envious. He'd betrayed the scant amount of knowledge that Hakan had given him, turned away from the rites and ideals of vampirism which Hakan taught him so many years prior. If Salvador had not been so preoccupied within his own selfish ideals and hedonistic proclivities, then he'd not have told Hakan to trust Zeke's tenacity and strength. Lingering on the results would not change what was; there was no bringing Zeke back and the fragmented and hollow pieces within Salvador's heart burned as a result.

The Lush felt her before he'd noticed her approach, perceptive to her energy alone before he'd genuinely turned to face her. His jaw was clenched in that acerbic twitch of failure that clung to him wrathfully. So much could not be changed; Hakan locked away in his castle to grieve, Pluto's palace a ghost town compared to the grandiose splendor it once retained, everything felt hollow and irreparable.

Atarniel slipped forth as though she'd been sprung from a dream, loose movements that were riddled with stark intention as her eyes focused upon the Lush. The one thing, through all their faux hatred and taunts, had been the palpable reminder that their eyes only ever landed upon each other. An addictive quality surrounded her, an indelible gluttony that forever changed him as her palm fit perfectly upon the sharp curvature of his jaw. Molded together, a fitting image as two immortal creatures clung to each other. The war had been over so swiftly for him, he'd not lived what the others had to endure before death claimed them and Salvador's anguish bled between them at what he could not revert nor prevent.

"As are you," a pained grin, loosely stitched together, weaved itself upon his dark countenance. Salvador's hand cupped her jaw in return, though Atarniel soon repositioned it at the rapid throb of her pulse, fingers curled around the plane of her neck. Salvador brought her forth, a harsh embrace that spoke of apologies that would never be said aloud, of regrets that could not ever be formulated into genuine words. He could be suave and sleek, quick witted and sharp, but words of the heart had been buried with Amara; even though it seemed Atarniel's spirit called to him and attempted to rouse them from the grave. His arms slipped around her, breathing the fallen seraphim in as dead lungs basked within the familiarity of her scent. The Lush tipped her chin up after a firm embrace as he firmly pressed their lips together; it lacked the voracious wanton any previous embrace had but it spoke of his need and relief that Atarniel was inevitably okay, all things considered.

#as promised #I made it shorter #( Salvador 4 )

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lumisfiction · 3 years ago

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Just For Tonight

Kakashi x Black Reader

Disclaimer: Characters belong to Kishimoto, gif not mine found on the internet.

Warning: Black Reader Insert, fluff

Part 1

****Part Two*****

Y/n’s house was the most enchanting place in all the Hidden Leaf, four miles into a secluded forest lay a stone path with handcrafted lanterns along it. The forest that surrounded it was filled with every color of wild flower that Kakashi had ever seen. It was as if he was no longer in the village, like he’d stepped into another world, y/n’s world. A world of fireflies, sun flowers, moon flowers, roses of every color, and lilies. A pastel painting with a deep green undertone of the entire forest. All around him were arches, tall trees with branches that entwined with evening birds perched on them singing their evening hymn. The dim light of moon peaking through illuminating the walk way. If it hadn't been for Sasuke and Naruto he would have never found this place.

Tugging eagerly at his vest Naruto guided him farther until they came to a large clearing. The moon and stars were brighter as it reflected on the surface of the small pond in front of them. It seemed all matter of creatures came out tonight in celebration of y/n, the sounds around him growing louder. A pleasant loudness that blended with the atmosphere of the pond and on its surface glowing lotuses glided past. Naruto reached down and picked one up, crystal liquid pooling over his small fingers. Kakashi watches as its blue light dimly lights the boy's youthful face. He looked his age then, like a child who held the most precious thing in the world. “These are her favorite” cupping it delicately Naruto presented his hands to him. “I know you came last minute Kakashi sensei, you can bring this as a gift” Naruto grinned a mischievous glint in his eye. “A gift” Kakashi scratched the back of his neck, painfully aware of his unpreparedness. In his haste to cheer Naruto up he’d forgotten that he just returned from a mission. His clothes were dirty and his hair was grimy. “I think a gift is the least of my concern” Kakashi pulled at his filthy pants, he could fill the dirt under his fingernails. He thought about y/n then how pretty she would look and her face when she saw him. It would be their first official meeting and this is what she’ll see. Her first impressions forever skewered by his dirty attire. It made his hands tremble and he felt heat rush throughout his body, a nervousness swelling somewhere deep within him. Nervous to meet y/n, like a school boy who finally gets to spend time with his crush.

Sasuke looked behind him observing a riled up Kakashi. Even in the moonlight and a half exposed face he knew exactly what his tinted cheeks meant. “She shouldn’t be home yet, you can freshen up once we get there” his arms practically spilling over with an assortment of flowers. Kakashi looked over at Sasuke sighing, was he that easy to read? How long has it been since he was social? Was he so out of touch that he couldn't even manage to hide his emotions from a prepubescent boy.

His mind wandered off again as he began to contemplate his decision to attend. It was all too sudden, what if he made of a fool of himself? Or worse what if he isn't welcomed? Thoughts were spinning around and round his head so much so that a scowl returned to his face and his exposed brow scrunched. His inner conflict occupied all of his attention so much so he hadn't noticed Sasuke making kissing noises. Not until the boy began to tease him childishly.

"Kakashi and y/n sitting in a tree k.i.s.s.i.n.g" Sasuke relentlessly teased Kakashi with a child-like twinkle in his eyes. It was perplexing, the cool headed vengeful Sasuke was the polar opposite of his former self. Laughing and smiling as he bent down to pick even more flowers along the water. Stopping to look them over and disregard the flowers he no longer wanted.

It was so out of character for him that Kakashi hadn't noticed he was gawking. “He always brings her freshly picked flowers” Naruto came into view with a smug look on his face. Kakashi hadn’t noticed until tonight how different with her in their life they had become. How both of them practically morphed into children right before his eyes. Naruto was feather light and cheerful while Sasuke was playful, thoughtful, and happy. They look so innocent he almost forgot they were shinobi, genin who’d soon participate in the chunin exams. He recounted to himself a time when he looked like them. When he too was happy and innocent. Just a boy and his father.

All of them fell in a silent stride as they began walking again. Crossing over a small bridge that brought them to their destination at last. Willow trees and what seemed like a thousand fireflies greeted them. There at the foot of the path stood the most beautiful wooden arch with yellow flowers twisting around it's bark. Dangling loosely from it a chipped wooden sign that read "Happy Birthday y/n. “I made that” Naruto’s face gleamed with all the pride of a not so masterful craftsman as he pointed his finger in the direction of if. Sasuke scoffed as he remarked how tacky he thought it looked. With an ego as big as his competition he stated how much better his lanterns were in comparison. Naruto glared at Sasuke, his eyes sharp as he retaliated with an insult of his own. There was no end to it, both of them going on and on about what y/n liked best. It was driving Kakashi a little crazy, having to go on missions with their insistent contest was one thing, but this was a whole other sort of annoying. The kind that made him so irritated that all the cool level headed temperament in the world couldn’t prevent the annoyed look on his face. He thought about home and his warm recliner. The green hardback book that he so often read to indulge his perverted mind. The faint feeling of heat coursing throughout his slightly reddening cheeks. What he wouldn’t give to go back in time and stick to his original plan. A plan that didn't involve two rowdy brats.

The house was a deep oak red with hints of a darker brown. It was large with a stairway above it that led to a smaller house. It had flags and a large telescope pointing toward the eastern sky.

The entire estate was homely and welcoming, the yard embedded with an even more alluring green. Fresh cut grass and lanterns that spread about it illuminating everything in its path. Nothing could make this scene before him more stunning he thought to himself as he looked all around in awe.

She descended from the steps, the most beautiful sight of all, Y/n. Her raven coils shining in the moonlight and her skin glistening like the surface of a smooth diamond. She was most certainly magical, the tail of her white dress flowing behind her when she walked a smooth glide only a goddess would have.

"Y/n" as fast as their feet would carry them Naruto and Sasuke ran to her open arms ruining her pretty dress even though she didn't seem to mind. She embraced them with a hug that only a mother would give her beloved children. When they parted Sasuke was the first to present his gift, a bouquet of wild flowers "Happy Birthday y/n". Her face lit up as she leaned over to kiss his exposed forehead and his face become even more redder than before.

From the distance where Kakashi stood he saw the pearls her pretty teeth, her full lips lifting the bones of her cheeks. The way her breast sat prettily in her clothes and the playful glint in her almond eyes. She seemed to get prettier as he came closer and his eye drifted downward and then up again taking in her full form. All of his former reservations escaped him,his heart thudding in his chest as he made his way closer. Yes, Just for tonight he'll indulge himself.

Author Notes: Trying to decide if this should just be a three part or more series. Next chapter will be released soon and it will contain light smut. Thank you for all your support!

#naruto x poc!reader #x black reader #black y/n #black writers #kakashi x poc reader #black reader #naruto #naruto x reader #naruto x y/n #kakashi x reader

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