#in my defense the past few months have been busy >:^) in a kind of not bad way

[pinkcrayon]

hellooo it’s been a while since my last post but i’m not dead!

[justmeinadaze]

Without Me (Steddie X You)

PLEASE READ EVERYTHING I PUT HERE BEFORE CONTINUING!!

A/N with warnings: This is not a warm fuzzy story. This is riddled with angst and feelings. This version of Steddie aren't bad men they...they just have extremely toxic behavior due to their trauma. Steve struggles with alcohol and Eddie with drugs while the female readers drug of choice is them. She does try to stay away from them but they do not make it easy. An accident involving drunk driving is mentioned with the reader getting hurt and ending up in the hospital. They belittle her and try to make her jealous and reader mentions how their behavior has affected her. There is talk about their fears of losing her and insight into why they are the way they are.

SMUT is present closer to the end. She is a willing participate! I want that clear. It may seem like she's not but she talks about how she needs them to fight for her. Some spit play, slight edging, use of the stop light system (yellow), aftercare.

I was listening to "Without Me" by Halsey and this just flowed from me for like 2 weeks. Its not my normal stuff written wise so again I say ENTER WITH CAUTION! I will still love you if you don't read this. <3.

Word Count: 10,596 ( seriously didn't realize I typed this much)

“They’ve been asking around for you.”, you friend whispers into your ear before blowing out the smoke from her cigarette. 

“Well, they can keep asking but the answer will always be no.”

She softly grins as she takes your hand. “I’m really proud of you.”

“For what?”, the new guy you had been seeing jumped on the bench behind you, pulling you tightly to his chest.

“For finally getting my ass up for physical therapy this morning.”, you reply as you beam up him. 

“About time.”, he chuckles. “Even though I’m totally fine with you moving like an adorable little sloth.” You roll your eyes as you smack his arm playfully and he leans down to kiss your lips. “Come on. Let me walk you to your class.”

He tangles his fingers with your own as you both head back towards the building. Glen was a good man and the past month you had officially been together had been incredibly easy. That was honestly the best way to describe it. He was kind and gentle with you, always making sure you were alright. When he took you on dates, he pulled out your chair and listened intently to anything you had to say without even a squeak to interrupt. 

He didn’t smoke a pack a day or do any kind of drugs that left him so stoned you literally had to lift him from the floor on to his bed. The few times he drank in your presence, it was sips and he rarely finished the can in his hand. He never drank to the point that he slurred his words or passed out and left you to carry him into his house to get him to at least the sofa. Glen never called you names or made you feel guilty about not sharing a vice with him. He never left you crying alone in your room because he was too busy doing something else he shouldn’t be. He never hurt you or broke your heart…

“Hey Y/N.”

The man’s voice hit you like an arrow to your chest. You hadn’t heard or seen him in over two months…either of them. 

“She’s not talking to you.”, Glen growled immediately coming to your defense. 

Steve stood up straighter as he made himself seem taller. “What the fuck are you going to do about it?”

Without hesitation he stepped forward, bumping the other boy’s chest.

“Hey, hey, hey.”, you reach out to grab your new boyfriend’s arm. “It’s ok. I’m alright.”

His eyes tear away from Steve’s to meet your own as he touches your cheek with his palm making your ex huff. 

“I’m going to be right there, ok?”, he advises as he points towards the lockers on the other side of the hallway; kissing your forehead when you nod.

Steve’s eyes glare at Glen until he leaves, turning his attention towards you and promptly softening his demeanor.

“Where’s your attachment?”, you ask as you try to appear nonchalant, placing books in your locker. 

“Eddie didn’t want to overwhelm you. He thought us both talking to you might…scare you.”

“Why would I be scared of you two?”, you scoff. “Is that why neither of you came by the hospital or to my house after?”

His jaw tightens as he looks down at his sneakers. “No. We just…we thought your parents wouldn’t want us there.”

“This coming from the boy that used to sneak through my window when he was drunk.”, you chuckle sarcastically to yourself as you slam the locker closed. “You’re still such a terrible fucking liar. Stay away from me; both of you.”

“Y/N, wait—”

“Don’t touch her.”, Glen warns as Steve tries to reach for your hand. 

The man watches as your new boyfriend wraps his arm around your waist and guides you towards class as you slightly limp along the way. Angrily, he reaches into his pocket for his always present flask and takes a long swig.

**** 

“Wow, you really suck at this.”, you giggle as Glen misses another ball on the pool table. 

“Look, I’m sorry I’m not as cool as you Miss Suave who can shoot with the stick behind her back.” You grin as he gestures for you to take your turn. What he didn’t know was Eddie taught you that on one of his more sober nights. When the three of you were just able to hang out and have fun. It was hard being here as the cigarette smell reminded you of the nights after they would make love to you or when he would cheer you on while you played arcade games with him and the other Hellfire kids. 

It also reminded you of when he snorted to much of his stash and fell asleep with his cigarette in his hand almost burning down his uncle’s trailer. Or when he would light up in the middle of a fight he started with you because some guy smiled at you a little too long.

Shaking your head out of the memory, you make your shot and it promptly slams into the hole in the corner pocket. 

“I will never be as cool as you.”

“Oh, I think you’re plenty cool.”, you grin as you crane your neck just enough for his lips to meet you halfway. 

“I’m going to run to the bathroom real quick and then I can take you home, ok? Do you want to wait here or…”

“I can wait by the car. Some air would feel really good right now.”

After handing you his keys, you gradually make your way towards his car trying to cover the fact that you were gripping your side. This cold weather was killing your injury. The doctor said that would be normal especially on days it rains. What he didn’t explain was that it would affect everything else like your mobility. Every step you took shot a pain straight through you side and it was like being stabbed. 

“Hey sweetheart. Need some help?”

“Jesus fucking Christ.” You turn around meeting Eddie’s concerned gaze. “I guess Steve didn’t talk to you yet."

"No, he did. I just needed to come check on you myself.”

“Welp, I’m fine, Eddie! Now leave me alone.” He flinched slightly at your sarcastic filled tone as you try to continue heading for Glen’s car. 

“Why, um, why are you limping?”

You chuckle as you turn on him, throwing your hands in the air. “Oh, I don’t know. That happens when you’re involved in a car accident! But you wouldn’t know anything about that would you?!”

Your boyfriend appears in front of you, blocking you from the metalhead’s sight. “Get the fuck out of here! You and Harrington need to leave her the fuck alone! Come on, baby.” Without any hesitation, Glen lifts you in his arms and carries you the rest of the way. 

Eddie watches with jealous eyes as he stomps towards his van and searches for the powder that will numb the pain.

##############

For the next week, you did everything you could to ignore them but you felt their eyes on you constantly. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t miss them. You thought about them every day even after what they had done but you knew what you had with them wasn’t healthy. 

“Baby are you alright?”, Glen asked as you both share your lunch. 

“Yeah, I’m just exhausted. Mrs. O’Donnell isn’t playing around this year.”, you giggle but your smile tapers off when he doesn’t laugh with you.

“You know, it’s ok that you miss them. They were your best friends.”

If only he knew… What would he think of you if you told him the truth? What if you told him that, yes, it had started as a grade school friendship but escalated to something more? What if he found out how much you loved them and why you kept them around for so long? Why you tried so hard to save them…

A loud crashing startled you back into reality as Eddie jumped on to the table and walked to where you and your boyfriend were sitting.

“Well, hello gorgeous…and Glen.”, he mocks as he turns his head towards him sarcastically. 

Steve slides into a chair beside you as the metalhead jumps down and sits across from him. 

“Can we help you, gentlemen?”

“YOU can’t.” You cringe as Steve slurs his words. You can smell the bourbon wafting from his lips as he speaks. “We just want to have one conversation with our friend. Is that too much to ask?!”

Glen breathily laughs as he faces both boys. “It’s funny. Y/N never talks about what happened. Anytime anyone including her doctors ask about the accident she says all she remembers is something darting across the road and flipping the car. I admire the fact that she’s still so loyal after what you did.”

“What are you implying?”

“I’m implying that real men own up for their mistakes especially when it almost gets their supposed best friend killed.”, he spits. “Come on, baby.”

You don’t move; you CAN’T move. Memories are flashing through your brain and the two people you want to comfort you most are the two people who are responsible for your pain. 

“Stevie, baby, maybe you should let me drive.”

“Pfft, I can drive, honey. I’m barely even drunk.”

Eddie’s arms wrap around you from behind as he tenderly kisses the nook between your neck and shoulder. “Come on, princess. You can sit in the back with me.”

“Y/N, it’s ok. I got you.”, Glen coos as he reached for your arm.

Shakily, you stand pausing for a moment as you turn towards them. 

“Stay the fuck away from me.”

****

The loud blaring of your phone beside your bed shook you from your peaceful slumber as you sleepily reached over to answer it. 

“H-Hello?”

“Y/N?”

“Steve? What…what’s wrong?” Turning your clock, you sighed as you read 2am and slammed your head back onto the pillow. 

“Baby, I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I wanted to stay with you but I was so fucking scared and Eddie said you’d be okay.”, he cried tearing your heart in half. 

“Steve, why don’t you call him, ok?”

“Please, Y/N. Can we see you?”

“It’s two in the morning. Go to bed.” He sobbed harder and you heard what sounded like him hitting the wall. “Um, where-where are you right now?”

“I’m at home.”

“Ok, I’ll be there in 20.”

****

The entire short drive to his house, you knew you were making a mistake. You made yourself boundaries and promises when it came to them that you were already breaking. It was so hard for you though when they broke. There were many a night like tonight where Steve had cried in your arms after his father had hurt him in some way and downing half a bottle of whatever strong liquor was in the house. 

With Eddie it took a lot more for him to get to that place but when he got there it was heavy. Sometimes he would frighten you as he tore his room apart, angrily trashing the things around him or saying anything he could think of to start a fight with you. The few times he cried were the moments he thought you were asleep, pulling you tightly against his chest as he sobbed.

Afterwards, you would do anything you could to make them feel better whether it was making them laugh, going to dinner, or letting them vent their pain on to you in bed. You didn’t mind it at the time especially since they knew every little way to make you cum. It was a blessing and a curse to be in love with two men who were passionate. On good days, the spoiled you, making you feel special as they wined and dined you and afterwards playing your body like one of Eddie’s guitars.

On bad days, they demeaned you and made you feel worthless. They made you feel like nothing you did was enough and then fucked you like a whore. 

You should have left them a long time ago but there was a part of you that held on to hope that one day the boys you met all those years ago were still in there.

“Hey, Y/N. Thank you. Thank you for coming.”, Steve sighed in relief as he opened the door for you and you pushed past him to get inside. “I called Eddie. He’s, um…”

The metalhead waved from his spot on the sofa.

“Yeah, well, I’m here. Now talk. You have five minutes.”

“Ok. Ok, ok, ok…um…” You rolled your eyes as Steve tried to collect his thoughts. “Honey, look, we know we fucked up. What we did to you is completely unforgivable.”

“We never would have left you if we thought you were really hurt.”

“Hm, gee, define ‘really hurt’, Ed. Because apparently metal slicing open my side doesn’t count.”

“We had no idea.”

“I’m not surprised, Steve, since you were so wasted you didn’t realize you had swerved to the right and hit a fucking parked car so hard that it flipped yours over!” You felt the tears burn the corner of your eyes. “This was a mistake.”

“Wait, wait! Please.” Eddie reached out to grab your hand and you yanked it away.

“Don’t you fucking touch me!” Your body shook as you began to cry. “You left me…After everything I’ve done for you. After everything I ignored…after cleaning you up after you threw up and passed out.” You gestured towards Steve before turning to the metalhead. “After treating your cuts after someone knocked you on your ass when you snorted your drugs and yelled at a guy in the parking lot because you thought he was hitting on me. After all the fucking bullshit I was there for…when I really need you…you left me! You didn’t even come to the fucking hospital to make sure I was ok. YOU DIDN’T EVEN FUCKING CALL!”

“Y/N…I…we…fuck!”, the metalhead shouted in frustration as threw something against the wall, shattering it on impact.

“There has to be something we can do.”, Steve whispered making you laugh again. 

“Nothing, Steven. There is nothing either of you can fucking do. I’m never going to do bullshit like this again. You two are on your own now. Leave me alone and let me be fucking happy with Glen.” As you turned to leave you paused, hearing Eddie snicker behind you. When you shifted back around there was a sinister look in both their eyes you had seen numerous times. 

“Speaking of ‘everything we’ve done’…”, Eddie addresses you with that slick tone that tells you he’s angry as he plops back down on the couch, digs in his pocket to produce his white powder, and pours some of it on the glass table in front of him. “You think that asshole can take care of you as well as we can? After all the gifts, dinners, and making you cum till you couldn’t move… we’re just trash now, huh? Is that it?”

You slowly stalk to him as rolls up a piece of paper nearby and snorts the contents in front of him. 

“Yes.” He turns to glare at you at your response. “You think everything positive you’ve done wipes away the negative? You think just because you were able to fuck me till I couldn’t walk straight, it will make up for the fact that I literally can’t walk straight because of a car accident you two caused AND RAN FROM?!”

“If we’re so bad then why did you stay?”, Steve countered. “Fuck, Y/N, why are you even here?!”

“Because I’m a fucking idiot! I’ve always been an idiot! If I could go back in time and stop that little girl from befriending those two heartbroken little boys I would.” Tears flooded down your face as you hugged your arms around yourself. “Why, Steve? Why wasn’t I enough? Why did you both have to turn to drinking and drugs? I loved you. I loved you so much.”

Strong arms suddenly wrap around you and you angrily push at his chest. Steve steps forward again, allowing you to hit him knowing he deserves it. Collapsing in his embrace, he holds you as you cry, lifting you up, and carrying you to his bedroom where he lays you in the middle of the mattress, pulling you to his chest after he climbs in beside you. Eddie follows soon after, his limbs circling your waist as he rests his cheek in your hair.

###########

By the time they woke up that next morning, you were gone and to their dismay you weren’t at school. They tried so many times to be sober especially after they started dating you but everything just seemed to get worse. Steve was always terrified you’d realize how much of a pathetic man he was (or at least that was what his dad told him) and you would leave but…you always stayed. So, why did he feel like trash 24/7? Why did he think it was inevitable? Why was he scared all…the…time? The alcohol helped suffocate a lot of that but in turn it amplified the worst versions of himself. For a while he thought that was an ok trade. Being an asshole sometimes is better than feeling like you were nothing but on nights when he’d listen to you cry or hear you beg him to stop drinking, he knew he needed to quit…he just couldn’t. Steve didn’t want to feel those feelings he’d buried in the back of his mind. 

Eddie was more or less the same except he was pretty confident someone was going to take you away from them. That you would discard them like his parents had and run off to be happy with someone else while they suffocated without you. That’s why he needed to show you and any other man that dared to come between you guys that you were theirs. Even if he had to fight all of Hawkins he would. Unfortunately, it was a double edge sword. While he knew he would fight for you, like Steve, he felt like it was inevitable that you would leave and he took that out on you constantly by screaming, throwing things, and belittling you. If he could villainize you now, at least when you left maybe it wouldn’t hurt as bad. 

Like Steve’s alcohol, Eddie used drugs to dull his pain and the rage that coursed through him. Weed used to be enough to calm him down but after a while it wasn’t so he upped his game. There were days he would snort so much that he could barely move let alone think and he was fine with that. 

You had asked them why you weren’t enough and the truth was you were more than enough; you were too good for them and they knew that. 

When they first met you, they knew instantly you were special. In the beginning, you were like their vices. You made them feel good, listened to them, and made them laugh. They often wondered what they did to get so lucky to have you in their lives. The first time Steve drank and Eddie did drugs, you knew something was off, heartbroken that they didn’t feel comfortable confiding you. Instead, they distracted you with a kiss, sending you down that path of becoming involved in that way. 

What you didn’t know was at the start of your relationship they used intimacy to distract you from what they were doing. After you would fall asleep with a smile on your face, one or both men would sneak away to do what they needed. When they fell in love, that’s when everything got worse and their fears amplified. 

Now, what THEY didn’t know was that they were YOUR drug. You thrived on making them happy which you didn’t realize until after accident. Even as you laid in the hospital staring at that stupid, bland white ceiling, you missed them and felt the withdrawals of not having them near you. By the time you were discharged and sent home, you felt clear headed and purged of their toxicity. When you met Glen and he made you smile, you felt like you were finally free of them and headed in the right direction. 

The biggest mistake was thinking you could avoid them forever which is why you set your boundaries and told yourself to stay away. You vented to your date on the phone and he cheered you on constantly boosting your self-esteem while offering anything he could to help make things easier for you. 

For your sanity and theirs, you needed to let your boys go. You prayed maybe if you stayed away, it would convince them to start healing. That’s all you ever wanted for either of them…for both Eddie and Steve to be happy. 

****

“Wayne?”

“Hey, Y/N. How are you doing?”

“I’m doing alright, thank you. Is everything ok?”

“Um, no. I just wanted to drop by and see if my nephew is here or if you’ve seen him at all these past two days?”

“No, Wayne. I’m so sorry. We don’t talk very much anymore.”

Eddie’s uncle scans your face as he nods before backing away from your front door to head back to his truck. 

“If you hear from him, can you let him know to call me? I’m worried.”

You promise him you will as you close the door and lean against you, sighing. You have an idea of where he might be but you knew if you told Wayne and he caught Eddie with drugs again he would follow through with his promise of calling the cops and have him arrested.

“Now, Edward, I already dealt with an alcoholic brother. He never listened to me and I couldn’t force him to go to rehab but I can with you! You’re my responsibility, goddamn it! You deserve better, son. Get your life together…”

Gnawing on your nail, you grab your jacket as you run out the door. 

############

You spotted them immediately when you pulled up to Hawkins Public Swimming Pool. They were so out in the open, you were surprised no one had reported them already. Even though Steve had a pool, they always seemed to like to hide out here. Usually, it was just the two of them, both toxicities bouncing off each other as they vented about things. 

The first time you found them here was before you even started dating. Steve’s dad had screamed at him about not making the varsity basketball team his 7th grade year and told him he was a failure. He didn’t show up for school the next day so you got on your bike, riding around until you found them both swimming. From that point forward if you lost one of them and were worried, it was the first place you searched. 

“Well, well, well.”, Steve slurred.

“Long time no see, princess. Came to check on your trash?”

You scowled at him as you crossed your arms over your chest. “Wayne is looking for you, Ed. He says you didn’t come home last night.”

“What do you care? You don’t love us anymore, right?”

“Just because I’m furious with you doesn’t mean I stopped caring about you.”

“Not in our experience.”

“With me, Eddie, or bullshit people from you past?”, you growled. “One of our MANY problems. You both comparing me to your parents which fucking hurts. I don’t know if you realize that.”

Steve stood up from the chair he was leaning back on and came to stand in front of you. He was so close the bourbon smell was making you feel a little drunk but it was more so due to the cologne smell underneath that always had you clinging to him when you three went out. You loved his signature smell, his and Eddie’s, but hated that it was normally obscured by other things. 

“Do you remember when we were kids and we used to swim in my pool at like 2am? You weren’t the best swimmer but with my help you got better.”

A blur suddenly swished passed you as Eddie ran and jumped into the pool behind you. You turned right as his soggy frame came back up for air with a huge, toothy smile on his face. 

“Eddie, oh my god! It’s cold out here. You’re going to get sick.” You try to suffocate the smirk that wants to be seen. You loved seeing them genuinely smile like the metalhead was right now. 

“Oh, calm down, mom. I’ll be fine and so will you.”

“Steve, no.” Right as you spun around to warn him, his palm connected with your body and shoved you into the water. While you were underneath you heard another splash as his lanky frame came into view. As you popped through the surface, your arms promptly clung around the metalhead’s necks as you gasped. 

“I got better! It doesn’t mean I actually can.”, you laugh as he obnoxiously swims around you two. For a moment, you forgot what happened. You forgot about the accident and that you were angry with them. You forgot all your boundaries you had set in place for yourself and for just a moment felt like everything was how it used to be.  

“Don’t worry, sweetheart. I got you.” Eddie’s palms gripped your thighs as he wrapped your legs around his waist and held on to you as they floated around. 

“Why do you both come here when you want to hide?”

“Hmmm… reminds us of an easier time, I guess. Plus, no chance of our parents coming in and berating us.”, Steve sighed. 

“Wayne would never berate or belittle you, Eddie.”

“Yeah, I know, but I hate seeing that disappointed look on his face. Hey, Harrington, did you see that new Tom Cruise movie coming out? The three of us should go see it.”

You exhaled at his deflection as the reminders came crashing back down. 

“Glen isn’t really a fan of his.”

They both grumbled at the mention of his name. “I don’t think when Munson said three he meant us and your bitch boyfriend.”

You chuckled sarcastically at his words as you tried to pull away but Eddie clung to you tighter. “Let me go, please.”

“Oh, please. Did you hear that, Stevie? Our girl has manners now. Did he teach you that?”

“No, he showed me respect and what being loved is really like.”, you spat as you continued to try and push away from him. “And I’m not your girl. Not anymore.”

“You think we don’t love you?”, Steve asks as he swam to your sides. 

You stop moving then as all previous memories with them flash through your mind. They see you disassociating as the boy beside you brushes your hair away from your face, a little sigh of pleasure escaping when you don’t flinch away from him. 

“I’ve always found it amusing that you two are afraid of becoming your parents, yet you ended up becoming exactly like them.”

Thrown of guard, their eyes slowly darken in anger as you continue. 

“Steve, when your drunk and having a bad day, you call me whore and tell me I’m worthless. There was one night, you told me I’d never measure up to being good enough for a Harrington so I should feel lucky you even bother with me. Eddie, when your high and having a rough day, you throw things and squeeze me kind of like you are now. You’ve never hit me but you’re not gentle with me either. One night, I was taking you home from The Hideout and some guy held the door open for me as I carried you. The entire ride home, you screamed at me because I thanked him and said I had your permission to go back and fuck him like the slut I was.”

“You hurt me like they did you and I allowed it because I loved you so much. I changed things in my life to be there for you but you guys could never do the same. Then, like your parents, when I really needed you, you left me. If you love me…why do you insist on being the way you are?”

They stared at you for what felt like forever and it killed you. Not because it made you uncomfortable but because you would give anything to wrap your arms around them and laugh with them as you continued to swim. You didn’t want this, you never wanted this.

“Loved? You don’t love us anymore?”, Steve asked. 

Your jaw clenched as you held your resolve. “No. I don’t.”

“I don’t believe you.”, Eddie growled. 

“Well…that’s you’re problem. Not mine.”

“Say it then. Say the entire sentence. If you do, we’ll leave you alone and you’ll never hear from us again.”

“N-No, Steve and Eddie.”, your voice cracked as you said their names. “I don’t…don’t…”

The metalhead’s forehead fell on yours as your tears began to fall. “I love you. I’ve loved you since the moment I met you, baby.”

Slowly, his lips move forward to land on yours. When you don’t pull away or stop him, he grows bolder until you’re reciprocating and your arms are around his neck. 

Your heart abruptly catches up with your brain as you push him away with all the energy you can muster and climb out of the pool, running to get to your car. Just as you open the door, a heavy palm slams it shut and you’re forcefully turned around as Steve’s lips crash to yours. Your arms circle around him as he lifts you up by your thighs and presses you against your vehicle. 

“I love you to—mmm—so fucking much, Y/N. I-I-we can be better.” He groans as his lips trailed down your cheek to your neck and your fingers gently tug on his hair. “I’ll stop drinking. I-I’ll do whatever you want, baby. Please.”

Pushing him back, he drops you to your feet as you smack him. 

“The problem is, I don’t believe you. How many times have you promised me that, Steve?! Eddie?!” You turn to the boy you was now leaning against the hood of your car. “This is the last time I’m saying this. Stay away from me.”

You open your car door but he slams it again. 

“Who do you think you are, Y/N?!”, Steve screams as he steps towards you sandwiching you between himself and the car. “We didn’t ask you to fucking come here. YOU showed up! You showed up at my house! You can’t keep getting mad at us for not ‘leaving you alone’ when you don’t fucking stay away! You obviously still fucking love us so why are you making this so fucking complicated!?”

“Obviously, I’m not like you. It’s harder for me to stay away when someone I care about is hurting.” You take off your shirt and toss it in his face. “THIS is what loving you two got me!”, you shout as you point to the massive wound on your stomach. Their eyes widen as they look you over. 

“It’s been over two months and it’s still healing. Can you fucking believe that? I was in surgery for twelve hours after the ambulance brought me in. Some metal from your BMW sliced into me and I lost a lot of blood. The doctors said the only reason I didn’t fucking die was because it had managed to miss all the major veins and arteries. I was out for almost three days and when I woke up apparently the first thing I asked about was you two. When they told me I was the only one found, I didn’t believe it. ‘No. They’ve done some fucked up shit but they would never abandon me.’”

“I waited for you…every…day…I waited. It took a while for me to really lose hope though. When I had my first physical therapy session to help me walk normally again, I thought ‘This will be the day. I want to get back to normal as quickly as possible so when they come see me I can show them how well I’m doing.’ When they discharged me, I considered maybe then I’d hear from you since no one would be constantly checking up on me. I even left my window unlocked thinking you might sneak in. Nothing… but do you know who did check in on me? Glen.”

“Glen called me every other night to talk to me while I cried about my pain. He came over and watched movies with me while I was stuck in bed. He held me when I woke up from nightmares after falling asleep because of my pain medication. Glen, someone who I met only a year ago was there for me when my BEST FRIENDS who I’ve known since we were kids and supposedly love me DID NOTHING.”

“So, get a good look, boys, because next time you call I won’t be there. You finally get to live your fucking lives without the one person who actually gave a damn!”

##############

“Babe? Are you alright?”

“Huh? Yeah, baby, I’m fine.”, you grin as you lean against Glen’s shoulder at your lunch table. 

It had been almost a month since that night at the public pool and you were proud you were able to stick to your guns. They had called a couple of times and each time you ignored it. You had seen Steve stumble out of the locker room after school giggling with a girl as he buckled his pants and kept walking as she practically carried him to her car. You caught Eddie passed out at the arcade on the pin ball machine and left him there as people around him chuckled. Every time you were able to let them go, you felt yourself getting a little stronger but that didn’t mean this wasn’t killing you. 

“Hey, I have an idea. Why don’t we go see a movie tonight? That Tom Cruise movie is playing.”

“Oh, sweetheart, we can watch something else. I know you aren’t a big fan—”

“Y/N, you like him so I don’t mind. Seeing you smile is all I care about.”

“Aw.”, you coo as you pull him in for a hug. “That’s so gross.”

Glen laughs as he leans down to kiss your lips. 

***

“Well, holy shit.” Your eyes squeeze shut at the sound of Eddie’s voice as you and your date walk up the stairs in the auditorium. “Stevie…STEVE! Look, its Y/N and her idiot.” The metalhead mocks as he tugs Steve off of his date he was already heavily making out with. A twinge of jealousy pierced your heart but you suffocated it as you glared at them both. 

“I thought you hated Mr. Cruise, Glen.”, he slurred as he laughed. 

The girl beside the metalhead kept sucking on his neck as her hand rested on his upper thigh.

“Come on, honey.”, your boyfriend grabbed your hand and pulled you towards your seats. “Jesus, how could you tolerate being their friends for so long?”

“They weren’t always like that. When I first met them they were shy and sweet. Steve used to make me little cards for valentine’s day and Eddie would sing me some random love ballad.”, you giggle at the memory until your eyes glaze over with his sadness. Glen tenderly pets your head before wrapping his arm around your shoulders and pulling you to his side. 

Throughout the movie your eyes kept shifting their way as the continued to make out with their dates. They were doing this on purpose, they were trying to hurt you. Normally when you three went to the theater together Eddie would lift your legs over his lap as you leaned back against Steve. They would tenderly run their palms against your skin as they watched whatever film was in front of you. They rarely if ever were sexual with you here and honestly you never really thought about it. You just enjoyed the tenderness of these moments when you had them. 

You noticed the parallels in the movie immediately and so did Steve as you watched him disconnect from the girl he was kissing. A football star from a small town wanting to get out and make something of himself while not being ‘good enough’ for the people around him. Halfway through, he stopped paying attention to his date all together as he focused his eyes in front of him. You wanted to hold him and tell him everything would be ok. That he deserved to be happy; they both did. Curling your body into Glen’s side, he wrapped his arm tighter around you as he kissed your forehead. 

****

“You know, I must say that wasn’t too bad. ‘We didn’t quit! You did!’” 

You giggle at his enthusiasm as you guys head for his car. 

“So, does that mean you’ll see his next one with me?”

“If you come watch a Clint Eastwood movie with me.”, he laughs as you stick out your tongue in disgust. “As long as I’m with you, baby, I don’t care what we see or do.”

Glen’s lips lean down to kiss yours as you wrap your arms around his neck. As his kisses grow more passionate, he carefully lifts you up, and places you on the hood of his car. Your brain began to wonder as his mouth did the same down to your neck. Your boyfriend was a good man and a really good kisser. You hadn’t been intimate with him sexually yet and with everything going on you were okay with that but that was just a double edge sword. BECAUSE with everything going on, you desperately wanted to be fucked. 

Your exes were phenomenal at that. When you felt low (usually because of them), they pounded into you till you were begging them to stop and even then they didn’t. You guys had a safe word but you had never used it. Oddly enough they had never crossed that line in bed. As you felt Glen’s lips suck on your skin, you couldn’t help but wonder if he had it in him to fuck you like that.

The sound of screeching tires brought you both back into the moment just in time to see Eddie’s van just inches from your boyfriend’s vehicle. 

“Have you lost your fucking mind, you fucking freak?!”, one of the girls screamed as she punched his arm. “What the fuck is wrong with you?!”

Through the windshield you could see them both glaring at you but especially Eddie. You saw that look so many times but this was the first time he had ever actually seen you kissing someone else. 

“Babe, get in the car, ok?” As Glen reached for your hand, the boys finally moved. The metalhead opened his driver’s side door and stomped to the back, flinging open the doors. 

“OUT! Get the fuck out!”

“Fine! We’d rather walk then spend any more time with you two.”

“Y/N, look at me. Get in the car.”

The sound of the skidding tires thrust you into your memory of that night; the tires screeching, glass breaking, metal crunching… them shouting at each other…

“Y/N?”

“Eddie, let it go, man.”

He barely heard his friend as he came around the car and grabbed Glen’s shoulder, flipping him around, and shoving him against it. His fist was raised in the air but as it hovered your boyfriend grabbed his collar.

“Do you really want to do this now? After you scared her half to death? I guess it’s not enough you two almost killed her. You have to keep twisting the knife, huh?”

“You keep saying bullshit like that but what proof do you have?”

“Beside my fucking brain? Oh, I don’t know, maybe it’s the fact that I have a nose and can smell the drugs and bourbon. Maybe, because I’ve smelled it on you and still watched her get in a car with you. Speaking of, where’s your BMW, Steve?” Glen pushes Eddie off of him and faces them both, gesturing towards you. “This isn’t the first time she’s shut down like this. When she does it’s hard to get her back but she does mumble. Do you know what she says every single time? ‘Please don’t leave me.’” He shakes his head in disgust. “Neither of you deserved her friendship.”

Reaching for your arm, he guided you to the passenger side and opened the door. 

“Probably why we were more then just friends.” Your bag fell as Eddie spoke, your wide eyes turning towards him. “Oh, let me guess. You didn’t tell Captain America here that you were fucking us to, did you?”

Glen looked you up down as his body froze.

“Please…”

“Give me a fucking break with that pathetic little girl routine. She’s a wild one, Glen. Definitely too much woman for one man.”

“Stop it.”

“Stop what? Telling him the truth? Trust me, bud. The stories we could tell you about her.  Fuck me…”

“Stop.”

“…There were times we didn’t even have to ask. You could just push her into an empty classroom and fuck her tight little pussy till she cried and she would still beg for more…

“Eddie.”

“…Oh and wait until she sucks your cock. She can take it so far down her throat—”

“STOP IT!” You charged at him, screaming and crying as you smacked his chest. “WHY?! Why can’t you just let me be happy!? I hate you! I hate you! I…”

Strong arms held you back and pulled you away from the metalhead as Steve moved to his friend’s side. 

“I hate you both.”

“Come on, Y/N. There we go.”, Glen soothes in a gentle tone as he guides you into his car. He flashes them one last cursory glance before climbing into the driver’s side and speeding away. 

############

You and Glen sit in silence as he turns off his car outside of your house. 

“Is it true?”

Closing your eyes, you heavily exhale before you answer. “Does it matter?”

“Jesus.”, he sarcastically chuckles as he turns his head to glare out the window. “I don’t even know what to say.”

“Nothing to say.”

“It would explain why you’re so protective over them.”

“No. I WAS protective over them because I used to love them…even before we became intimate.”

“Psh was.”

“I don’t love them anymore.”

“Oh yeah? Why don’t you go to the station then and tell Hopper who was really driving that night. Let them experience the consequences of what they did without the safety net of you getting them out of trouble.”

“You don’t understand.”, you whisper.

“You’re right. I don’t.”

“Glen…”, you pause as you try to gather your thoughts. “When I met them, they were both in a bad place even as kids. Eddie had just moved in with his uncle after his dad was arrested. His body was splattered with bruises. It…”, your voice cracked at the memory. “Steve wasn’t at the king status he is now. He hid any chance he could so no one would notice he was crying because his dad had told him he was worthless that morning. I remember our first in-depth conversation he looked at me and asked me why I was even talking to him because he wasn’t someone worth being friends. They needed me. Someone who would listen to them and—”

“Use?”, he interrupted making you sigh again. “Y/N, MAYBE, in the beginning you were exactly what they needed but now…now you’re like another drug to them. You realize that right? They use you whenever they need to feel better, take advantage, and then leave. They aren’t little kids anymore, sweetheart. They are grown men who know what they are doing and they know every time you’re going to bail them out.”

“Thank you for the movie. I’ll see you tomorrow at the party.”, you mumble as you start to open the door, now physically exhausted from this whole evening. 

“Y/N…Maybe we should take a break.”

You laugh under your breath as you get out and slam his car door, stumbling inside of your house as you sit at the base of your stairs and cry. 

***

They watched you from a far as you danced your way back to the punch bowl for the fifth time that evening. You had shown up to the party that Saturday alone and as soon as you walked in you began drinking which was something they would normally do but not you. This was wrong. You couldn’t be like them. You had to be better than they were especially since you were their angel, their saving grace. 

Steve huffed, having enough of the sight before him as he stomped to your side and grabbed your wrist. 

“Y/N, stop. You’ve had enough.”

“Oh, really Steve Harrington? You’re telling me when I’ve had enough?”, you cackle as you yank your arm back and dip the cup into the bowl. Before it can reach your lips, he pulls it from your grasp making you whine. “Jesus fucking Christ. Isn’t this what you always wanted? Me getting wasted with you while the freak gets stoned.”

You continue to drunkenly laugh making them both glare at you. 

“Y/N Y/L/N, I’m warning you.”, he growls as you reach another cup and fill it. 

“What are you going to do, Stevie? Ruin my relationship? Your partner in crime already did that. Accidently almost get me killed? We can check that off. Break my fucking heart…” You raise your glass in their direction. “Done and done.” After chugging back the liquid, you feel your body begin to sway. “Steve…” Suddenly, it feels like your legs no longer work as you fall into his arms. 

Effortlessly, he lifts you up against his chest and carries you out the door. Your mind drifts in and out as things happen around you. You feel quick movement that you assume is a car driving. 

“No! No!”, you grumble as you fight against something holding you. 

“Y/N, calm down. We’re in Eddie’s van. Everything’s ok.”

Your head violently shakes before your eyes get heavy and you feel yourself fading. “Don…don leave…don’t leave me again.”

When your eyes open once more, you’re being carried again and you smell cigarette smoke in the air. You mumble something but your struggling to form words as you feel your body being laid flat on something soft. 

“Hospital?”

“No sweetheart. You’re at my trailer. Just sleep it off, ok?”

“Are they ok?”

“Who, honey?”, the other boy asked.

“Steve and Eddie. Did they…get hurt?”, you start to drunkenly sob. “Please…are they safe?”

“Y/N, go to sleep, baby.”, Eddie soothed as you felt his arm wrap around you and your mind finally shut off as you passed out.

***

“We’re assholes.”

You wake up a few hours later but keep your eyes closed when you hear their gravelly voices on either side of you. 

“What’s your point?”

“Munson, look at her!”, Steve hisses. “She’s never been like this. She’s never been so…angry.”

“Well, what the fuck should we do, Harrington? We love her and she loves us to. I know she does. It’s good that preppy fucker is out of the picture.”

“I don’t like this…”

“Oh? Then tell me, Steve. Why did you let Olivia Samuels suck your cock in the locker room last week? Or make out and fucking grind on that girl you brought to the movies? Why are you still drinking alcohol like its fucking water?!”

“Really, Eddie? You want to lecture me right now? You were the one that always flipped out anytime anyone would even look at her! I’m surprised you even fucking noticed with how many times you’re so fucking high on that blow you pass out wherever your body lands.”

They both become silent but you can feel the heated energy between them. 

“Look…”, the metalhead sighs. “We can do better. We can be what she needs. We just…”

“What do I need?”, you mumble as your eyes finally open. “What do I need, Eddie?”

“You need us to stop idiots, to give up our vices. You need us to love you the way you deserve.”

You shake your head as you sit up and rub your eyes.

“You’ll never understand. I gave up on trying to make you a long time ago. I need to go home.”

As you try to slide of the bed, Steve’s palm grips your arm and pulls you back down. “Explain it to us then.”

“I need you to actually love me.”

“What the fuck are you talking about, Y/N? We do.”

“Flush your stash.” Eddie’s eyes search yours as you glare confidently back at him. “Flush your stash and tell Wayne what you’ve been doing. Let him help you get clean.” You shift your gaze towards Steve. “Throw away the flask in your back pocket and pour out all the booze you have hidden around your room. Come clean about the accident and tell Hopper you need help getting sober.”

Neither boy moves or says anything and you laugh as you slide out of bed searching for your shoes. 

“What does that have to do with loving you? Huh? We can give up all that crap without us having to get in trouble.”

“It’s accountability, Eddie! That’s what I need! I need you to take responsibility for your vices and the damage they fucking caused. You say you love me and I don’t doubt that. I really don’t. But the truth is and always has been, that you love that stuff way more then you ever loved me!”

You feel the tears start to surface but you refuse to let them see as you suffocate them down. 

“Glen was right. I’m just another drug for you two to use and, honestly, you’re like a drug to me but unlike you I’m strong enough to let you go.”

As you reach for the door, a strong hand grabs your arm and shoves you against the wall. 

“Miss high and mighty over here. You want to play that game? You’re weak just like us according to you. ‘I’m strong enough to let you go.’” You cringe as Eddie mimics your tone. “If you’re so fucking strong then follow through, little girl. Say you don’t love us. My offer still stands from the pool. Say you don’t love us anymore and we’ll leave you the fuck alone.”

“Even if I do say it, you won’t. With the way things are now, you two can barely function without me.” You giggle as his eyes darken with anger. “Seriously. For the past 3 months you haven’t notice you have gotten worse? And not just with the booze and drugs. Steve…Olivia told everyone that you came early.” As you laugh harder, you can see them getting angrier but at this point you don’t care. “She said…that’s why she stopped at a blow job because she didn’t think you could make her cum even though you offered. And you Eddie, did you know they have private Hellfire meetings without you? Dustin is their Dungeon master now.”

Steve abruptly comes from the side and throws you over his shoulder as he carries you back to the bedroom kicking and screaming before tossing you back on the mattress. 

“Say it. Say our fucking safe word and I’ll take you home so you can continue sitting up there on your self-righteous pedestal.”, he growls as he straddles his body on top of yours.

“Fuck you!”, you shout as you spit in his face. You push against his hold on you but he’s stronger, keeping you down with one hand as he uses his other to wipe off your saliva. 

“Open. OPEN YOUR MOUTH, Y/N!” When you don’t do as he commands he pinches your cheeks between his fingers forcing your mouth to pout open before spiting between your lips onto your tongue. “Swallow it. We both remember how good you are at swallowing things.”, he snickers. “Eddie, can you help me?”

The metalhead, who had been watching the whole thing unfold thus far, climbed onto his bed so he could unbutton your jeans and pull them down. 

“5 bucks she’s dripping.” Eddie pressed his fingers against the fabric of your panties between your legs. “Oh, yeah. What’s wrong, sweetheart? Fucking boy scout hasn’t been taking care of you?”

“Believe me, he has. He’s made me cum harder than you both ever did. Probably because he was actually fucking coherent.” You wiggled enough to get Steve off of you and push Eddie backwards as you ran into the hallway.  The metalhead was faster, catching your arm, and shoving you against the wall. Holding his palm against your chest, he pinned you against it as he tore off your underwear and sunk down to his knees.

You gasped when his mouth wrapped around your clit as his tongue worked its magic. This is what you needed and they knew that; it was something they were good at. For a while you thought maybe it was the roughness that allowed you to relieve some of the stress you always built up especially when it came to them but after not having them for so long you realized it was so much more than that. You enjoyed the idea of them needing you. Of doing whatever possible in the moment to make you stay and make you theirs. 

Lifting your leg over his shoulder, he pressed his face further into your cunt making you moan as you clung to his hair on the back of his head. 

“Why do you fucking lie to us?”

“Mmm…I don’t.”

“Yes, you do, honey. First you say you don’t love us and then you claim that your boyfriend is better in the sack than we are. Come on, baby.”, Steve coos as he leans on his arm by your side.

“I-I—fuck—I don’t…he is better.” Just as the coil was about to snap, Eddie stopped and abruptly rose to his feet. “No! No, please.” Your hands cupped his face as his fingers took over and he pushed two inside of your entrance, moving them so fast the sound of your arousal filled the hallway. “Please.”

“Don’t lie. Tell us the truth.”

“Why do you get to lie…but…but I can’t!”

“Because you’re better than us.”, Steve answered. “We all know that.”

You whine as he cuts your pleasure short again and as you begin pushing back against them, Eddie holds you still with this shoulder as he straightens his arm and moves his fingers again to build you up. “Please…”

“Say it, Y/N.”

“I’ve—mmm—I’ve never slept with him! We haven’t even done anything besides kiss.”, you cry as your arms circle around his neck. “Please, Eddie. Please.”

“You can cum, sweetheart. That’s it. Use my fingers to cum.” Your hips grinded against his hand as you clung tightly to him. “There you go. Come on, pretty girl. I can feel you squeezing me.” Your body shuttered as you came and his free arm promptly caught you as your knees buckled.  

You crashed your lips to his, humming at that familiar cigarette taste as his tongue grazed your own. Your fight wasn’t as forceful this time as you pushed him to get away. Falling to the floor, Eddie wrestles with you, pushing you onto your stomach, and holding you down with his palm between your shoulder blades as you listen to him unbuckle his belt and jeans. 

“One lie down, one more to go. Tell us you love us, princess.”

“I hate you.”, you grumble into the carpet below you. 

“Did you hear that, Stevie? She fucking hates us!” Your body trembles as he runs the tip of his cock between your folds. “You should tell that to your pussy honey because it’s just sucking me in.”

You both groan as he guides himself fully into you and you force down the tears of happiness that try to push free. They always felt so good inside of you, knowing exactly what you needed and how to get you there. As Eddie thrust into you roughly, you felt fingers brush your hair away from your face and you opened your eyes to meet Steve’s who was lying beside you.

“Say it, baby. We know you do. Why do you keep torturing yourself?”, he murmured as he continued to pet your head. “I mean look at you. How long as it been since anyone made you feel good like this?”

Lost in the feeling of you, Eddie pushed you further into the carpet causing you to squeak and wince as you grabbed your side while the other boy’s hand shot out to grip his friend’s arm.

“Y-Yellow. I’m sorry.”, you cried and the metalhead shook his head as he pulled out and slowly turned you onto your back. 

“No reason to be sorry, sweetheart. You’ve never had any reason to be. Unlike us assholes.”, he softly chuckled as he laid on top of you making sure most of his weight was on his forearms. “Is this ok? Am I hurting you?”

Wrapping your hand around the back of his neck, you tug his lips to your own. Reaching between your bodies, you grip his cock and guide it back into your core. 

“I love you.”, you whisper as his glassy eyes quickly scan over your face trying to get a read on you. “I love you, Eddie Munson, so much.”

His head fell beside yours as he thrust his hips into you, panting into your neck as your nails ran down his back and into his hair. 

“I love you to, Y/N. I’m sorry, princess. I’m so fucking sorry for everything. For—fuck—for what I said at the theater. For yelling at you and being jealous all the time. Oh my god… For leaving you there that night.” You mewled as he pumped into you harder, his cock repeatedly hitting that spot inside you that had you suffocating the screams of pleasure that wanted to escape. 

“It was my idea, Y/N. I told him we should leave. I-I told him you’d be fine. I’m so sorry.”

You barely heard him as your legs wrapped around his waist. It was all things you had heard before and he still wasn’t mentioning what you really needed from him, what you had mentioned before about flushing his stash. He wasn’t even acknowledging that the drugs were part of why he did the things he did. 

“I know, baby. Make me cum, Eddie, please.”

Pushing up on his hands, his hair tickled your face as he picked up his pace, groaning as his eyes squeezed shut. 

“Say it again, sweetheart, please. Tell me that you love me.”

As you closed your eyes, flashes of the boy you met all those years ago passed through your mind. The boy who made you laugh, who wrote songs for you to strum on his uncle’s guitar which was a bit too big across his chest. The man who took you to concerts and danced with you in the aisle at the movie theater as you waited for it to start. 

“I love you, Eddie.”

Arching your back, your hands gripped his forearms as you came. The metalhead grunted at the feeling as you tightened around him, slamming into you till you felt him warm your insides with his release. 

Collapsing to the side of you, he tried to catch his breath as you turned to find Steve starring at you with those beautiful but needy eyes.

“I love you to, Steve Harrington.” 

He exhaled heavily in relief as he delicately slid you closer to him and placed his lips on yours. It didn’t take long for his kisses to become passionate and he spun you on to your side till your back was against his chest. He fumbled with his belt and pants before pushing them down as much as he could, lifting up your leg by your thigh, and guiding himself into your entrance. 

His heavy breathing filled you ear as you lean back into his warm chest reminding you of the boy who held you close to him while you three would swim in the lake. The boy who pretended not to be scared by horror movies but always jumped and pulled you closer after any scary scene. The man who showed up with flowers randomly because he said he was just thinking about you and wanted to get you something nice. 

“I love you, baby. I’m…I’m sorry to. I shouldn’t have left you and we shouldn’t have stayed away. I’m a fucking coward, honey.” Your arm looped around his neck as you kissed his lips. “I don’t know what we would have done if we lost you, Y/N.”

“You did.” His rhythm slowed as he looked down at your face. “You haven’t had me for months. Did things better?”

Steve’s jaw tightened as he wrapped his arms tightly around yours and began pumping into you slow and deep making you groan. 

“Things will get better, Y/N. I promise. I don’t care what I have to do. Fuck my dad, fuck these people, fuck this town!”

Eddie’s worried eyes met his as your face scrunched and your nails dug into his skin. 

“Am I hur—”

“No. No. Harder, Steve. Please.”

The sound of skin slapping skin echoed through the trailer as he did what you asked. 

“Is that what you need, baby girl? Fuck…I’ll give you anything.”

As his fingers reached down to play with your clit, his other hand gripped your throat as you tilted back moaning his name as you came. His own face scrunched in pleasure as his mouth fell open and with a few more rough thrusts came inside of you as well. 

You laid on your back staring at the ceiling as you tried to control the urge to cry. There was a part of you that wished you could back to before the accident when you were still slightly ignorant to their behavior. When they would scoop you up and give you a bath, curl up with you in bed, and talk about different things. 

That was always just an illusion though and it was now completely shattered. Eddie lifted off your shirt as Steve carried you to the shower, turning it on for you, and held your hand as you stepped inside. As he sat on the counter, from behind the shower curtain, you heard his heavy sigh before the quiet clinking of his flask pushed through the silence. 

When you stepped out, he softly smiled and handed you a towel as he led you back to Eddie’s room. The boy quickly wiped his nose before grinning in your direction and handed you his clothes you used to sleep in but his smile faltered when you hesitated. 

“I’m sorry. I just assumed you would sleep here like you used to.”

It was your turn to smile but it didn’t stop the tears that began to flow. They reached for your hands and pulled you between them, whispering promises they could never deliver as the comforted you. 

###########

[villainofmyownstory]

Day Zero chapter 7

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pairing: Simon “Ghost” Riley x plus size fem!reader

summary: When you enter a dark building, you don't expect that you will face an enemy you haven't seen for a long time. One of them.

tags: AFAB reader, plus size reader, dog german shepherd, zombies/monsters, blood, gory

author's note: Finally! I'm back with a new chapter, I hope someone is still waiting for the next parts ^^ because I'm going to keep writing it anyway. Thank you for your comments, likes and reblogs. It means a lot to me.

And English is not my first language, so probably many things are poorly described and the vocabulary is very simple. If you see any mistakes - let me know!

💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀

Chapter 7: The one with the Jaws

Day 738

You moved nervously in your seat, looking out of the car window towards the building that Ghost and Riley had entered some time ago. Time passed slowly, you seemed to have sat locked in the car for a good few hours. However, the still high-hanging sun made, if not reaffirmed, the belief that you hadn't spent much time waiting for the return of the two, now, closest living beings to you. You don't know yourself anymore who you were more worried about. Biting your lip nervously and still plucking at the already ragged fabric of your gloves, you continue to stare into the dark entrance of the building. You still can't see any light or movement in it. Nothing. Darkness. Ghost has told you to sit in the car. Of course, on the one hand, you perfectly understand his behaviour towards you. Seeing how insecurely you hold your gun, generally how clumsy you are and practically know nothing. And most importantly, he still simply didn't trust you - because he didn't know you. You understood this and sat there, stuck in the car, even simply for your own safety, but perhaps more so to make Ghost's job easier. At least he didn't have to stay busy and watch out for you. He could concentrate on keeping an eye on Riley and, more importantly, dealing with whatever was lurking ahead of you in the dark corridors of this building. But on the other hand, you felt frustrated because you felt that you were no longer who you used to be. You've re-learned how to live in these bizarre conditions, and you want to feel that you can be of some use, that your presence here is somehow important. Needed.

But at some point, it is a kind of relief that you don't have to worry about another day, about yourself. That you don't have to fall asleep praying for at least one quiet night and passing at least one hour, not waking up suddenly for any reason, any slightest unknown sound.

Now, the thought comes to you that you are already worried about yourself. Somehow, after all you've been through, all that has happened to you over the past months. You finally feel the sense and desire to somehow take care of and surround someone else with care. With that, you catch yourself staring at an empty open door, not just worried, just about your dog. But for someone who was just as much alive as you were.

Well, you're sure the dog will do just fine. Whatever he had to deal with there in that dark space. Whatever could stand hostile , against Riley. It certainly won't come out defensively in a clash with your dog. You've seen it, from the day you saw him, after those two years, there at the tower . Not only has he grown, he has matured because of his age. But he was simply well-trained. This was not only your small contribution because since he came to your house you took great care of his development and training.

But the dog's behavior around Ghost, how obediently it obeyed commands, how faithfully it guarded you and the man, how docilely it wandered past your or the man's leg, and with what aggression and persistence it tried to reach whatever was in the basement. This only reinforced your belief that the dog was being properly looked after. Ironically, the only winner in this new reality, in this new world, is Riley. Well cared for, fed, trained.

And most importantly, surrounded by respect and -

love.

With each passing minute, you slowly pull and tug harder and more vigorously at the already badly damaged glove material. Your lower lip is bitten so hard that it begins to bleed. Finally you admit to yourself that all this nervousness is due to such a trivial reason.

You are worried about that damn drunk.

About the man who wanted to kill you without even exchanging a word with you. But ultimately you are worried about Ghost. About the one who, despite everything, welcomed you into his home and let you stay.

Shaking your head, you try to get rid of these thoughts. It's so stupid. To worry about someone who probably, if he saw your cold, emotionless and lifeless body. He wouldn't even spend a second thinking about who you were. Without any thought or pity for you. He probably wouldn't even look. He would just move on, as was his habit. Somewhere to a designated destination, a defined place.

Or maybe it was just a façade, maybe somewhere under that bizarre mask was a real, feeling person. Silly you, you hoped so. But that's what you shouldn't bother with, and most importantly, that's not what's most important in all this.

Survival. That's what matters.

Survival instinct. Primal, natural, just plain animalistic.

So as you slam the door behind you and try to bravely and vigorously walk to the building, you repeat one thought in your head. Your continued survival depends on this man, you must hold on to him. You can't let him die. Or worse, turn into one of them. With this thought, of simply surviving, you marched to the entrance of the building.

Because if Ghost were no longer there, any hope for any future was virtually nil. Rather, the pool of dumb luck you've had for the past two years has definitely run out. You won't be able to survive another dark and cold winter alone. You won't even be able to survive another month alone.

That's what you were sure of. You were never a strong and courageous person. And living in constant fear, with your heart rate perpetually racing, with adrenaline constantly high was not something you were used to. You didn't feel the motivation, the will to survive, the fight for each new day. Quite the opposite. All this, each successive sleepless night, the constant search for food, medicine, safe shelter made you feel immense resignation, chronic fatigue and, above all, a sense of the meaninglessness of your existence. Because it's hard to call life what you've been doing these past 24 months. Vegetation. Like a little calf left without its mother. No idea how to survive, how to live.

Holding a pistol in one hand, taken from the glove compartment of the car, and holding a small hand-held flashlight in the other. Slowly, being careful with every step you take, you enter the building. As soon as you cross the threshold, you are overwhelmed by darkness. It's not good. Shivers run through your body. Step by step you try to walk silently into the depths of the narrow corridor. On each side, left as well as right, there are doors.

Although it's daytime you can only see the places you illuminate with your flashlight, and in places through gaps in the door or some open doors, single rays of sunlight reach you. The building is also silent. It's definitely not good.

It's too quiet.

You can't hear the barking of a dog or the quick and heavy footsteps of a man. You slowly and steadily check each room, but only those to which an open or half-open door leads. There aren't many on the first floor. The rooms you check are usually empty, or there are isolated objects like a chair, a cabinet or a desk. Everything is covered in a thick layer of dust and usually carelessly placed somewhere in disarray in the room.

Apparently, the building stood empty long before Day Zero. Maybe that's not so bad after all. Placing your feet carefully on the dusty and dirty floor, advancing to the last open door on this floor you finally hear something. Stopping at the ajar door and holding your breath, you try to focus on the sounds reaching you.

Adrenaline and a rapid heartbeat make it difficult to hear exactly what is happening in the distance.

But you can definitely hear something.

Like the shifting of something on the ground, the steady and long clatter of something heavy on a dirty floor. As if someone was pulling something, moving something. Maybe some furniture was moved, or maybe it was-

What if someone gets hurt? Directing the small light of your flashlight at your feet, you walk towards the narrow stairs at the end of the hall. What if you wait too long in the car and something terrible happens?

As you hurry every two steps, you don't worry about them hearing you. Your ears are ringing more and more often. Your increased pace, not only caused by your sudden mounting fear but also by the effort of climbing the stairs at a fast pace, causes you to hear nothing but your own tired body for a moment. You stop for a moment between floors. Listening. If you hear this rustling, it means someone is there. There definitely has to be someone here. Alive.

What if someone attacks and Ghost gets hurt or the dog needs help? There is such a possibility. No. You hope not. It definitely couldn't be Riley. You quickly push away that terrible thought and climb the stairs again, skipping some steps to get higher faster. You finally reach the penultimate floor, and here the sound finally becomes louder, more audible.

Now you can hear it clearly.

Trying to calm down a bit and control your tiredness, you stop on the last step, trying to breathe through your nose, but your poor state causes the exhaled air to come out of your mouth, much too loudly. Despite your sincere intentions, you cannot remain unnoticed. The shuffling stops suddenly. As with breathing, the air remains in your lungs and your slightly parted mouth closes quickly. You hesitantly direct the light of your flashlight towards the corridor and-

It's been months since you last saw one of them. And that was from quite a distance. Long months allowing you to erase that monstrous image in your mind. At least wipe out a little of the horror that was your daily life in the first weeks. With each passing day, the number of infected - or perhaps already-dead, multiplied with each sunset. More and more.

Their screams, the inhuman sounds they made of themselves, it was something that not only caused a nervous shaking of your whole body. And so simply did not let you fall asleep, did not allow you to close your eyes at least for a few minutes.

Terror, mixed with fear. That was your everyday life then.

After that day, when you decided to end this agony, your miserable life - and what you failed.

Their horrifying screams stopped. At least for you.

And even today, you remember the first time you met them. The first contact with those things. It was something so terrifying, inhuman and unreal. That it stuck in your memory, permanently blurred in your brain, and the image stayed in your mind, probably accompanying you and will always be there. That recollection lasted with you, even though you tried so hard to forget it. Pretend it was a nightmare or a scene from a movie.

Day 10

You

It was one of the first days when you were left completely alone at home. No TV, no internet, and not even a phone. You couldn't communicate with anyone or get any information - everything stopped working. Suddenly, in one day. And the chaos outside only intensified, increasing with each passing day. You were so panicked and paralyzed with fear that for the first few days you didn't even leave the house, didn't even look out the window.

Until one late afternoon, when it seemed that the commotion outside the window was slowly calming down. When the sun had already hidden behind the horizon, and you were preparing to take up shelter again in the basement, in one quiet and seemingly safe place. Unexpectedly, you heard someone's familiar voice in the distance, somewhere in the yard behind the house. Distorted, not quite human. But nevertheless still recognizable and familiar.

It was Rose. It had to be her.

She called out to you, you clearly heard your name. Without waiting a moment, you dashed to the back door by the kitchen. With no hesitation, you turned the locks and grabbed the handle. You quickly opened the old wooden door.

Immediately after opening the door and crossing the threshold, you regretted your decision. On the terrace steps, stood Rose. Or something that tried to imitate her. In stained, dirty and frayed clothes stood a pale, hunched figure. In her hair, there was no sign of her signature-amulet, a red pin with a rose, from which she took her nickname. The lush, long and dark hair on her head was gone. She was almost bald, her pale skull surrounded by a thin light shell, her skin almost translucent, through which, a web of dark veins could be seen. Twisted, in a strange way, the figure slowly walked towards you. It clumsily took steps, and a low, penetrating screech could be heard through its open mouth, from which a bizarre, dark liquid flowed.  Long, bright claws protruded from behind cracked, scarred lips. Which with each passing second seemed to extend even further. As if sensing your silhouette, they became bigger, sharper.

Maybe it was just an illusion, maybe the monster in front of you just opened its jaw even wider. A strange grimace merged with a murky liquid - resembling old, dirty blood. Dark maroon drops ran down his angular jaw, staining the light-colored cloth and dripping onto the wooden floorboards of the terrace. Frozen with terror, you stand motionless, not knowing what the hell to do. How to act properly. Run away, attack, scream, cry.

Anything. Something.

Millions of thoughts run through your head. No action seems logical or wise. With no time for further deliberation, when seemingly Rose has already approached you at arm's length.  Stumbling over the threshold of the door, you retreat a few steps into the depths of the house. Holding the door, you try not to fall over and close it.  Cutting yourself off this way and being as far as possible from the strange figure in front of you. The monster is already close to the threshold, shouting louder, the sound rumbling in your ears, reaching so deep that you wince at the unimaginable pain the horrible high-pitched sound causes.

You feel as if something is tearing apart your eardrums, as if it is trying to reach the farthest recesses of your brain, slowly tearing it apart. With a last effort to suppress the pain, at least for a moment, you try to slam the door.

Rose, however, is quick enough to push its head between the door and the doorframe, driving its sharp teeth into you. The dark liquid splashes not only around her, but single drops fall on you as well.

You push the door with your whole body to prevent it from opening wider and the strange figure from entering the depths of your home. Which until now seemed to be the only safe place. With one leg you block the door so that it doesn't move towards you and let Rose in. With the other leg, you lean against the wooden floor to stop the incredible force with which the monster is trying to force its entry into the house.

For some reason, there is a brief moment when Rose stops attacking, and at that exact second, with all your strength and power, you push the door in its direction, trying to close it. The monster's neck lands between the door and the doorframe, so you cut off its air supply. Rose stops screaming and after a few moments you feel its resistance weakening. However, seeing the monstrous figure in front of you, it is with what fury, madness in hungry eyes she looked at you. And she definitely wanted to attack and bite you - and thus probably kill you. Your anger grew.

Seeing that the inhuman figure has lost consciousness and is hanging inertly by the door. You fall into a fury unknown to you since that moment. You start opening and closing the door. The figure falls helplessly between a small space on the ground. And you, with unimaginable and unfamiliar fury and force, close and open the door so that the monster's neck and head are struck by the wooden door and, bouncing off it, hit the edge of the door frame.

Full of anger, you scream louder and louder, feeling a burning pain in your throat. Blood mixes with a strange jelly-like liquid. Forming a bizarre mixture at your feet. Hearing a loud crunch and already feeling less resistance, you nevertheless continue to bang the door against the lying figure with vigorous power.

Finally you stop and, sobbing, sit down on the floor. Terrified, you wipe your face and, seeing the terrifying image in front of you, you crawl backwards into the farthest corner of the room. To be as far away as possible. Not to smell the horrible stench emitted by the inert body. To be as far away as possible and not see the pool of blood mixed with a viscous gelatinous liquid, infected pieces of brain and shreds of skull bones. You cower against the wall covering your eyes, trying to hold back loud sobs and fear.

That day you killed for the very first time. Unfortunately, it was not the last time. It was just the beginning.

Day 738

With your shaking hand you direct the stream of light from a small flashlight to the direction you thought strange sounds were coming from just a moment ago. Now, hearing nothing but your own breathing and heartbeat, you wonder if this sound was not a creation of your imagination.

Unfortunately, it wasn't.

A pale, bony figure lurking behind one of the doors, now irritated by the small light from the flashlight, moves toward you. It rushes at you with a wide-open mouth in which long bright fangs shimmer, stained with the dark liquid you already know. You don't have a chance to do anything, it's happening so fast that you don't even think of pulling the trigger of the gun you hold in your hand.

The monster with high force hits you and causes you to fall on your back on the half-floor. The force of the impact is so great that all the air escapes from your lungs. Despite the loss of breath and the monstrous bou in the back of your body. Perhaps due to adrenaline triggered by fear, you try to fight back. With your hands you try to push the undead away. You hit it with your hands trying to at least push its distorted face away from you. You curl up on the floor, tilting your head from side to side. As you fall, a gun falls out of your hands and a flashlight, which also illuminates some stairs, dropped a few feet away from you.

Just so it doesn't bite you. If only its fangs dig into your skin, you're dead. It'll be end of you.

The monster opens its mouth wide, exposing fangs that have clearly been dipped into a living thing more than once. They're filthy, with pinkish bits of flesh visible in between. The dark substance lands on you. The undead spits blood at you and whatever the brown liquid coming out of it is. The stinky sticky substance is practically everywhere. On your cheeks, forehead, in your hair, on the fresh clothes you wore this morning. Writhing under this murderous form, you try to catch at least one breath of clean air, you try to move your legs to throw off your opponent.

All in vain.

You feel that you have less and less strength and soon you won't be able to push that overly contorted, monstrous face away. At one time it must have been a human being. But now, aside from its general physical features, it did not resemble a man, at least not a living one. It definitely hadn't been one for a long time. In torn clothes, without hair, with dark eye holes in place of eyes, with long and sharp fangs. With pale white, almost transparent skin, from under which dark veins could easily be seen. With each passing day, the thing that infected the human body transformed it more and more into a strange creature that only seemingly resembled a human. It looked as if the evolution of these creatures, instead of taking hundreds of years, had accelerated many times over. It was even difficult to recognize whether it was once a young man or an older woman. Maybe a teenager.

You can already feel your hands failing, losing energy and strength with each passing second. By the time the monster's face was close to your cheek, its breath could be clearly felt on your skin, and the penetrating odor prevented you from taking another much-needed breath. You stretch out your neck and tilt your head as much as you can to catch it, trying to make sure the figure above you doesn't bite you.

You close your eyes and pray in your mind to whomever, whatever god, that if at this moment, you'll end your life.  That it would at least take place quickly and relatively painlessly. You expect this bite to really hurt, maybe more than-.

To your surprise and confusion. You feel a thump, a push. A jerk and a sudden relief. The pressure of the body is no longer over you, your hands do not resist, you can move your legs freely.

You slowly turn your face away and carefully open your clenched eyelids. Somewhere nearby you hear muffled gasps and stifled squeaks. Ragging, tugging, tearing at fabric, some banging. However, the flashlight lies too far away to reach out and grab it. The building is too dark to see anything, whatever is happening further than a step away from you. Momentarily, all sounds stop. All you hear is your own heartbeat and rapid breathing, gasping. Not just your own.

Now that there's no adrenaline in your body, you slowly start to feel more and more pain in your body from falling down the stairs and hitting the ground. However, you don't have time to pick yourself up, to think about what hurts the most, if any bone was broken, and most importantly, if at some point the monster didn't bite you.

Before you have time to make any move to try to get up from the cold floor. Once again you feel the pressure on your body. However, this time it is softer. More human-

"Don't move."

It's Ghost.

"Are you broken?"

Asking this question, you feel him gently checking if your limbs are broken. Although you are still in shock you feel how efficiently and yet gently he touches first one hand then the other, gently squeezes and moves your arm, elbow checking if the joints are in place too. When you feel a gentle pressure on your right thigh you grimace gently, but try not to show any discomfort. When your legs are checked by him you feel him change positions and another sentence comes from his mouth.

"Now I'm going to touch your upper body, check your ribs and hips, okay?"

Without thinking, you nod.

Ghost grunts.

"Lucky me to have night vision. But don't pretend to be tough, kid, that fall must have cost you a lot. Tell me if something hurts you. I'll help you."

"O-okay, I'll tell you."

Fortunately, you don't feel any pain in your chest or hips. As Ghost checks your pupils and asks if you felt a bite and asks a few more questions about your wellbeing you feel yourself shaking with terror. The involuntary trembling of your arms, as well as the rest of your body, is out of control. Tears appear in your eyes.

"It's okay. Whoa, it's alright. I'll get you out of here and we'll go home. Hang in there a little longer. You did a good job."

Hearing these words you want to say something back but you're unable to, every sound trapped in your throat. All you can do is once again shake your head pathetically in confirmation. Ghost lifts you off the ground, doing it very gently and slowly. As if he is afraid that by any careless movement, you will break into millions of pieces. Despite your weight, he lifts you easily off the ground and without a word starts to walk down the stairs.

You sink your face into the hard material of his tactical gear, trying to control a sob. To your surprise, despite having you in his arms, the man walks with a quick and steady stride.

And extremely quietly. The rhythm you hear is a slightly accelerated pulse. His.

When he finally reaches the ground floor, he stops for a moment. Now that the corridor is lit up thanks to the open exit door, you notice Riley stopping by Ghost's leg. This puts you at ease. They both look fine and healthy.

"How are you feeling?"

Ghost's voice snaps you out of your reverie. He's different than before. Like he's more concerned, more nervous. Something is not quite right. Before you have time to answer anything, the man is almost running towards the exit of the building. Once you are outside, you squint your eyes, even though the events inside seemed to go on forever, it must have been a relatively short time, an hour at maximum, since you crossed the threshold and entered the darkness. It is very warm and bright outside, and the sun is still high in the sky. You involuntarily close your eyelids, the daylight makes you ache.

Ghost runs to the car at a very fast pace, and when he opens the car door he practically throws you into the passenger seat. He shouts to the dog, giving him a brief command to get into the back and, without waiting for the dog to react, he quickly makes his way to the car, getting behind the wheel.

Finally, as the car starts and pulls away, you open your eyes. Your eyesight has finally become adjusted to the day's prevailing brightness. Still, tears and something else prevent your eyes from fully and sharply observing the world around you. You feel that something wrong is happening. Something is definitely not right. So you try to find some clean cloth to wipe your misty eyes. Correct your vision to look at the man next to you in peace and figure out what's going on. Why he is acting so nervously and hurriedly.

But before you do, the answer to your questions you simply see.

You are covered in dirty brown blood.

Despite the blurry and blurry image from your tears, you look at the dark stains on your skin of your forearms and on the gray fabric of your clothes. In a panic, you start wiping your soiled skin against the fabric of your clothes trying to clean what has already dried on your body.

"Hey hey, take it easy, don't move. Try not to spread it, so it doesn't get into your eyes or into some wound on your skin."

Ghost grabs your arm with one hand and holds you down.

"Everything is fine as long as you're not hurt and nothing bites you - it's fine. Just stay calm. At home you will change and clean yourself up."

The rest of the way back you don't exchange a single word. You feel that Ghost looks at you every now and then but you don't have the courage to raise your head and look at the man sitting next to you. You stare at your hands placed on your knees which you clench nervously.

You try not to panic even more. However, you no longer know if you have been infected and the faster heartbeat, the slight nervous twitching and trembling of your limbs or jaw, are not due to the fact that you are already in transition. Or was it simply panic, fear and fatigue of the body after the horror you encountered in the building.

The way from the car to the house, and then how you found yourself in the bathroom, washed and changed into fresh new clothes. It was all like a blur. It's like you're not doing it yourself. Throughout this process, you are accompanied by Ghost's calm, subdued voice. It's how he reassures you, reiterates that everything is fine and that you should be careful to just wash the dried blood away and try not to smear it into your eyes or somehow into your mouth. Even when you are locked in the bathroom and slowly rinsing off the remnants of your recent struggle for life, the man's voice can still be heard from behind the closed door.

It's because of him that you don't panic even more. You don't do something stupid. Just calmly, like a robot that performs the actions programmed to it. You just simply do it.

As you now sit in the kitchen and warm food lands on a plate in front of you and hot tea steams in a mug next to you, you slowly return to reality. Beside your meal you notice a few pills.

Finally you lift your gaze and look at Ghost, who is leaning against the kitchen counter with his arms crossed over his chest and watching you closely.

"Thank you."

This is the only thing you can think of at this point. Grabbing a spoon you scoop up a large portion of food and without waiting for any response from the man you begin to eat, at the same time you take the pills left next to it.

The meal goes on in silence, Riley sits next to Ghost and, as if copying his behavior, with his head slightly bowed, does not take his eyes off you. It's as if they are both waiting to see if you are about to fall to the floor in pain, screaming loudly and eventually turning into one of them. Nothing like that happens so far. However, this thought, doesn't allow you to calmly finish your meal. What if your heart is about to stop beating, what if the poison was already slowly in your bloodstream and is systematically turning your blood cells into sticky dead brown clots. What if-

"Come on, it's time to rest. It's been a long and fucked up day."

Ghost walks slowly toward the hallway expectantly looking at you. Drinking the last sip of tea, you get up from your chair and move slowly toward your room.

And so the three of you, you, Ghost and Riley find yourselves in a small space, your cramped and small bedroom.

"Lie down and try to sleep-" 

Ghost interrupts his speech, because Riley nudges him in the leg with his head, clearly signaling to him that he's not the only one here.

"You little bastard." 

Patting Riley on the back, the man finishes his interrupted comment

"Of course, me and Riley will be here all night. We'll be watching to see if anything bad happens to you. Are you okay with that?"

"'Y-yes, I think so."

You answer and slowly lie down on the bed, as soon as your head touches the pillow you feel your eyes slowly closing.

"You really have nothing to worry about, if you were to transform it would have happened long ago, it never takes that much time."

Ghost's voice gets quieter and softer, everything seems to slow down. Your breathing becomes more steady. Your eyelids are heavy that you no longer have the strength to open them. Besides, the bed is so soft and comfortable that you don't even want to change it. With your last effort, before sleep has completely overtaken you, you add barely audibly.

"I know, it should be painful. It hurt so damn much back then. Now it feels good. I just- I was just scared. I didn't want to die yet."

You don't hear Ghost's answer anymore, as you fall into a deep sleep.

taglist:

@leviathanleva @chocolate-noodles @vmaxis@poohkie90 @ghostlythots @nobodys-coffee @famouscattale @youdontneedtoknow1226 @pimpinsins @justguessfan @novasilvae @pausbirudanlumbalumba @ella2497 @lunamoonbby @sams-pineapples @tonylagsagne @lurkinwbreexy @azkza @mooseblooddd @mroman0111

[mrs-santoss]

No One Can Hurt You - Neymar Imagine

Summary: HEY BABEEEE I love ur writing so if u have time I request an imagine when the reader got out of a toxic Abusive relationship and she is really scared. Them she meets neymar and they become best friends but she feels scared to open about her past. However one night at club a guy approaches her in not the best way and she has her first panic attack and only ney can relax her after that he asks her about her past and at the end he ask her if he can kiss her .. . I would love to see it but if u can't it's TOTTALY FINE LOVE 💕💕💕😍😍😍😍 thank u for ur time ! Neymar's POV: Right after I get out of the shower, I feel my phone buzzing. I get a message from Y/N saying she's available for a night out tonight. I feel happy, we haven't gone out in awhile, I've been very busy in the last couple weeks with training. Y/N is my best friend of a few months now, we connected right away. I hate to be that guy, but I also caught feelings for her recently. I never admitted my feelings to her because she might not feel the same way and that would make me lose her as a friend too. She's the most precious person I've ever met in my life. She's sweet, kind, positive and very soft. We usually spend Friday nights at home watching a movie or cooking, this way, we spend a lot more time by ourselves and get to know each other better quickly. She never mentions her past relationships, I don't know if she's ever been in one or not. I only asked her one time in the beginning, after I didn't get a response, I dropped that conversation. _________________________________ After a few knocks, she opens her door. She looks absolutely stunning, I'm speechless. Wow. Just wow. She looked elegant and hot at the same time. She comes outside, locks her door and turns to face me and give me a kiss on the cheek. "Hi, Ney. I hope you didn't wait too long." "Hi, Y/N. No, it's okay. You look amazing." "Thank you, Ney. You look stunning too." We make our way to the car. I open the door for her, we have a laugh about this. She always jokes about me not being a gentleman, so I'm trying to prove her wrong. We reach the club and go inside. We reserved a table with a couple of friends at this amazing bar. Everything is going great, I mostly stay sit, Y/N is dancing a lot with the girls. I felt extremely jealous when guys would look at her. I know she's only my best friend, however, I feel for her. Y/N gets back at the table with a look of worry on her face. It looks like something has happened. She notices me starring at her and gives me a small smile, trying to tell me she's okay. After a couple minutes of her constantly glancing at someone sitting at the bar, she makes her way to the bathroom alone. She usually brings on of the girls with her. It's been 10 minutes and she's still in there. It isn't supposed to take this long. I become worried and I excuse myself to go check on her. I reach the bathroom doors, contemplating whether I should enter the girls bathroom or not. A sudden scream forces me to open the door. There was a guy trying to kiss her, forcing himself on her. I grab the guy by his shoulders, removing him from her. My blood is boiling, I wanted to kill that guy right there. I punch his face causing him to stumble across the sink. He tries to punch me and I dodge it, hitting him again. "DON'T YOU FUCKING *punch* DARE TOUCH HER *punch* AGAIN, DO YOU HEAR ME? I yell at him in between punches. I let go of the guy, and he runs out of the bathroom. I turn to look at Y/N who was in a shock state, she looked scared and had trouble breathing. I approach her quickly causing her to flinch. I stop right there. She was scared I was going to do something. I know she doesn't believe I would ever lay a finger on her, but she was in shock. "Y/N?" I approach her slowly this time, holding my hands up in defense. I step closer and closer to her until I can feel her quick breath on my skin.

"Hey, sweetheart. You're okay, It's over. I'm here for you. Can you open your eyes, please?"

She opens her eyes slowly looking at me like a lost puppy. It was a heart breaking sight. She reaches her hands out to me slowly, inviting me in a hug. I wrap my hands around her slowly. She hides her head in the crook of my neck, soaking my shirt with tears.

"Shh..Shhhh, It's okay. Don't be scared, It's over. Breathe slowly, honey." I stroke her hair, she tightens her grip on me, indicating she's still scared.

"Do you want to get out of here, yeah? Let's go get in the car using the back door, okay?"

She doesn't speak, she just nods. We walk together, I'm still holding her close to me. We run into a security guard in the hall. I let him know we need to get out of here in private and he understands and leads us to the back door. I give him the keys to bring my car around. 

I tip the guy and open the door for Y/N. She goes inside and just stays there without moving. I drive slowly, I have no idea where to go. I don't want to go home, I want to go somewhere quiet and peaceful. I have a feeling, that wasn't the first interaction of Y/N with that guy. She seemed scared just by his presence at the bar. I hold her hand, resting it on my thigh. 

"Y/N, are you feeling better, honey?"

"Yeah, I'm okay."

"Please don't lie to me, are you sure?"

"Yes, Ney. I'm okay, thank you for being there for me."

"Always, Y/N. I'll always be there."

I drive to the beach and park my car somewhere quiet. I lead her near the water  at bean bag that was located near the shore. I sit first, pulling her on my lap with her back pressed against me. She rest her head back on my shoulder, closing her eyes. I kiss her forehead and hold her hands. The breeze was hitting our faces, having calming effect on us.

"Y/N?"

"You knew that guy, right?"

"Yes, I did....We used to be together"

"What happened?"

"He got violent and I broke up with him, I had a hard time pushing him out of my life. This was the first time I saw him since then."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I don't know... It's not something to be proud of, I guess... I left scared."

"Y/N, that guy won't be bothering you anymore. Not with me around being here. I promise you."

"Thank you, Ney. I don't know how to thank you."

We stay in silence. I wrap my hands tighter around her. I want to ask her something I've been dreading for a long time now.

"Y/N? Can I kiss you?" She looks up at me and smiles. I was scared of her answer, though.

"Yes, Ney."

Our lips collide together in perfect motion. Her lips are so soft. I felt butterflies in my stomach. I break from the kiss and kiss her forehead. I want her to trust me that will treat her with love.

[heyiwrotesomethings]

Not All Is as It Appears

Ghost Tamayo x They/Them Reader Modern AU

A/N: Eeked out another one before spooky month is over. Of course I don’t need the excuse of it being October to write something spooky, but it feels extra special then. I guessed that Tamayo is from maybe the mid Muromachi Period because she’s about 500 years old during the Taisho Period. If I’m off, in my defense I’m bad at math. Sad story for Tamayo but happy and hopeful ending. Word Count: 2,585

(Y/n) couldn’t believe their luck! A beautiful, traditionally styled home and it was all theirs! When the realtor shared the asking price, (Y/n) was sure she was pulling their leg because it was ridiculously cheap for how well kept the historical home was. It history dated back to the mid Muromachi Period, and it had gone through many renovations over the years of course, but it still looked like you were walking right into the past. Yes, a house this special should really be worth much more.

“Why is it so cheap?” (Y/n) had asked, thinking there had to be some kind of underlying issue, such as an unstable foundation.

The realtor fidgeted though she expected the question. She shared a story that was nearly as old as the house itself. It was said that a deranged woman had killed her husband and children within their home as they slept. In the morning, she was found by her neighbors covered in their blood, holding their corpses tightly to herself.

The neighbors had left screaming, alerting the rest of the village of the heinous act. As punishment for her sick deeds, the woman was dragged from her home to face judgment for her crime and was subsequently hung in a form of upside-down crucifixion until she died some hours later.

The realtor pointed a shaky finger towards the dead sakura tree that stood not too far from them.

“They hung her right there. They say that tree died right along with her to serve as a reminder of what had happened, that this house was tainted. They’ve tried to have it torn down many times over the centuries, but something would always come up. Rain to stop the fire, faulty demolition equipment… nothing else in the area has survived as long as this house. It was taken under control of the local historical society for a time until they didn’t have the funding to keep it any longer. Now it’s simply back on the market, but given its history, no one wants it. It’s cursed or haunted to say the least.”

A movement in the window caught (Y/n)’s eye, but when they turned to get a better look they saw nothing.

“That’s quite the story.” They chuckled awkwardly.

“Yes, I assume you would like to look elsewhere?”

“Oh no, I’ll take it.” (Y/n) stated definitively.

“R-really? Are you sure?”

“Yes!”

The history was a little unnerving, but that had happened insanely long ago! The home itself and the surrounding property was breathtaking. They’d be crazy not to take the deal of a life time. If there was such things as ghosts or curses, they would take their chances. They had been searching for a place like this for too long.

And so, (Y/n) moved in just a few days later. It was like the realty business expedited the process so (Y/n) wouldn’t have time to have any second thoughts, which was more than fine to them because they had no second thoughts to be had. This was all simply perfect to them.

They spent the whole day arranging their belongings and doing some house keeping. They had their phone playing a mix of today’s hits as they worked and that’s when the first strange incident occurred.

There was a pause after one pop song played that was particularly long, long enough for (Y/n) to look in the direction of their phone to see what was up. Then the phone crackled to life with a very old recording of an even older traditional enka, beautiful and haunting and more than a little freaky considering (Y/n) was a thousand percent certain this was certainly not a hit of today.

However they didn’t let their discontent show, instead choosing to let the song play out like it was a completely normal thing. When the song ended, it was quiet for a few beats before the same song started playing again.

And again (Y/n) pretended that was a completely normal thing… until the song played a third time.

“You know, there’s plenty of other songs to choose from… here,” (Y/n) pulled up a playlist of the oldest traditional Japanese songs they could find before setting the phone back down, “pick whatever you like.”

Did they actually think they were communicating with a ghost? Hard to say. They thought maybe there was just a new trend going into hey weren’t aware of, maybe that’s why that song had played. They were probably being influenced by that realtor’s story is all, but on the off chance that there was a ghost, best to stay on its good side, right?

An opening clunk clunk of a shishi-odoshi accompanied by a few plucks of a biwa played and a new song began without (Y/n) choosing it.

Maybe it was just set to automatically play…

The rest of (Y/n)’s unpacking was serenaded with old folk songs. When they finished they were hesitant to stop the music so they waited for the song to finish before closing the app.

“Maybe you can listen to some more later.” They were definitely just talking to themself. That was a more normal explanation than talking to a possible ghost was.

Then they went to take a bath before they would make some food and settle down for the night. The in-ground bath was one of the neatest features of the house. The tub filled up fast and the insulation kept the water warm for quite awhile. After a day of pushing a bunch of heavy things around, it felt especially nice.

The room soon fogged up from the warm steam and (Y/n) closed their eyes as they soaked. Their eyes shot back open when they heard something clatter against the ground. They looked over to see their shampoo had fell over near the shower station. Perhaps they had set it down a little too close to the edge.

Their eyes then differed upward and they held back the desire to scramble out of the tub and run out of the house naked as the day they were born.

Upon the foggy mirror, was a kanji character written clear as day.

“Help…?” (Y/n) whispered under their breath. They slowly turned their head away, pretending they didn’t see it.

After a few agonizingly long minutes, they decided it was time to get out of the bath and go eat something and go to bed. Maybe they were just seeing things because they were tired.

Their dinner and tv viewing went uninterrupted and when they finished washing the dishes they turned off the tv and went to their new bedroom. When they pulled the covers over them they kind of wished they had camped out on the couch instead to let some baking show lull them to sleep because the quiet of the room felt eerie, especially after the bathroom incident.

At some point they did manage to drift off until their dreams took a dark turn.

A woman in a blood stained, floral-patterned kimono stood hauntingly before them, they were surrounded by the mutilated dead as angry voices shouted from outside, growing louder, the walls slammed into with force.

“My heart, my reason for living,” the woman spoke in a soft tremor, a single tear slipped down her blood stained cheek, “I didn’t know that man, that demon, would go to such lengths.”

Arms leapt from the darkness, grabbing the woman and (Y/n) from behind.

(Y/n) leapt from their bed with a sharp gasp. Safe to say they didn’t go back to sleep that night. They stared blankly at the tv while they sat on their couch instead, flinching at any unexpected noise.

***

The next several days went much the same. (Y/n) was already regretting their purchase, but they refused to give up. Whatever spirit haunted this house had it for well over seven hundred years. As far as (Y/n) was concerned, they thought the spirit had long overstayed it’s time.

The dreams, the ominous one-word messages, the music, they weren’t a single night occurrence. They drove (Y/n) to further look into the story the realtor told them, but they were going crazy trying to find any more information.

The details in the dreams they had weren’t something any old record of the centuries old mass murder would disclose.

As days turned into weeks, the strange and troubling phenomenon seemed to grow more persistent. Then there were introductions to the foot steps and disembodied sobs. The crying was the worst, bone chilling and so mournful.

Finally (Y/n) couldn’t take it anymore and they searched something new on their laptop.

How to communicate with a ghost.

“This is so stupid, what am I thinking?” (Y/n) berated themself as they set the scene in the middle of their bathroom as the cleanup would be easiest there.

They checked the time, it was nearly three in the morning. As the shady internet page they had found stated, this ritual worked only during the witching hour.

When the clock struck three, they lit the final candle and waited. And waited, and waited and…

“I knew this was stupid.” They muttered, they leaned forward to start blowing out the candles when the flickering flames suddenly blazed stronger, the orange light became a vibrant lilac color and the smell of flowers and something metallic overtook the room.

(Y/n) fell backward away from the flames. When the fire died down, a woman, the one who haunted their dreams, stood in the middle of the crudely drawn glyph.

“Oh my god!” (Y/n) yelled, running from the room.

What did they expect, really? They had set out to communicate with a ghost, and a ghost is what they got. Yet they still hightailed it out of there, sprinting to their bedroom and shutting the door behind them. When they turned to get something to barricade the door, they screamed.

Ice cold hands grabbed their wrists, stopping them from trashing or running away.

“Shhh, stop struggling, please,” a haunting, melancholic voice pleaded, “I mean you no harm.”

(Y/n)’s voice stuck in their throat, but they did stop struggling against the woman, the ghost, the whatever she was at the moment.

“I am sorry that I frightened you. It’s been so terribly long since I’ve had company. I’ve been trying to talk to you for awhile, but after you started covering up the mirrors, it’s been difficult.”

“W- well, what do you expect when you write things like help, trapped and death?” (Y/n) protested weakly, trying to slow their racing heart.

“… I can see how that would be alarming.” The woman pursed her lips then apologized, “I’m sorry, it takes a lot of energy to write.”

(Y/n) took in the woman’s despondent look and relaxed a bit further, “It’s okay. I’m uh, sorry for screaming at you.”

“It’s fine. I seem to often have that effect on people. Unnerving them by simply existing.” She let (Y/n) go and glided around the room, “Especially when they think they know my story…”

“That’s what I wanted to ask you.” (Y/n) said, a bit bolder now, “Who are you, why are you here, what really happened all those years ago because the dreams I have seem to paint you so differently.”

“You want to hear my story? Would you even believe me from what history has already told you?”

“History doesn’t always get things right. Especially if certain people control the narrative to show only what they want people to see. I want to hear what happened from you. I want to hear your side.”

The woman wrung hand hands, though (Y/n) saw a glimmer of hope arise in her expression. She lifted her head to meet (Y/n)’s eyes.

“My name is Tamayo,”

(Y/n) listened to Tamayo’s tale with rapt attention. Long ago, Tamayo lived happily with her family, a well respected healer in her village. All was perfect until she had noticed that she was growing weaker and weaker by the day. She had discovered that she was dying from an ailment she could not treat. She spent a lot of time searching for a cure.

One night, she met a man who promised her a cure so long as she stayed by his side. However, his condition included leaving behind her family, something she simply could not imagine. The only reason she desired a cure was to spend more time with them. If she could not do that, then the cure would be useless to her, so, she declined.

This enraged the man. It was as if Tamayo betrayed him to the highest degree. He told her she would regret this dismissal of his miracles before storming away. Tamayo didn’t realize what that would mean until a week later.

The man and his followers came into her home under the cloak of darkness and slaughtered her family. Tamayo tried to stop them, but she was held back. She expected them to slaughter her too, but they didn’t. No, that would have been too simple. They left her to cry over her family until sunrise.

The misinterpretation of the neighbors and the following crucifixion, that much was true. It had been pure agony, but still not as painful as watching her family die before her eyes.

“And then, I was here again and have been since.”

“You’ve been here alone all this time? What about your family?” (Y/n) asked.

“Not here. I’ve searched, but I cannot go far. To a certain point, I just end up back where I started.”

“That’s awful. I’m so sorry.”

“You needn’t apologize. It’s cathartic to finally share this… oh,”

“What?” (Y/n) then noticed that Tamayo was becoming translucent.

“The witching hour is nearly over is all…” Tamayo smiled sadly, “Thank you for listening…”

(Y/n) bit their lip, hating to see the lonely look on Tamayo’s face.

“We can talk some more tomorrow night! And, and I won’t cover the mirrors anymore, I’ll leave the radio or the tv on for you when I leave the house! I- I’ll get a cat! You wont have to be alone anymore, okay?”

Tamayo’s mouth fell open in surprise, then it became a small, more honest smile. Her eyes shone with unshed tears. She put her hand over (Y/n)’s they could barely feel it.

“I’d like that, I’d like that a lot.” Her voice seemed to fade as she did until she was gone.

(Y/n) took a deep breath and rubbed at their eyes to dissuade any tears from falling. Then they cleared their throat, slapping their hands on their thighs with finality before standing up from their bed.

“I’m gonna watch a movie in the living room. You are more than welcome to come along.” They spoke out to the seemingly empty room before awkwardly making their way out.

They sat on the couch and turned on the tv, pulling up a list of light-hearted movies.

“I’m gonna slowly scroll through and if you see something you like, ummm, can you knock that pencil off of the table?”

It took a moment, but the pencil did clatter to the ground.

“Okay. Great.” (Y/n) set the pencil back into place and begun slowly scrolling through the movies until the pencil fell again.

They began the movie and put the pencil back on the side table and sat down again. They didn’t really know what it was like to be a ghost without any spells attached, but they made sure to leave room on the couch just to be safe.

[imagineitdearies-old]

Question: Are we going to get a glimpse of what’s happening with Rhaenyra and Alicent in Duty and Sacrafice? Because i’m just as invested in them as I am Aemond and Luce at this point.

Ya know, I’ve begrudgingly been coming to terms with the fact that I might need to make this a series, just so I can add drabbles/deleted scenes/Rhaenicent snippets.

The whole reason I extended D&S is because I got too obsessed with the Rhaenicent and Lucemond parallels, and didn’t want my girls to not have a hopeful/happy ending too. And yet it’s only making me want to flesh out their side of things more, I’ve even written a few (unfinished) scenes! 

So to answer, yes, I do think you can anticipate a glimpse into what’s going on with them beyond what Aemond's POV in D&S. Probably after I finish it, so buckle in for a wait.

But in the meantime, here’s a glimpse of a glimpse:

“I noticed Aemond under the weirwood this morning,” Rhaenyra remarked over breaking fast a week after their sons’ wedding. Her violet eyes glinted, pleased, though Alicent wasn’t sure quite yet why. “Does he frequent that garden?”

Alicent sipped from her goblet, prolonging her time to answer. “I took the children there to picnic on occasion, once you all left,” she admitted after a moment. “Helaena liked the insects; Aegon liked the attention. Aemond…he used to say his mind went quiet there. It must still.” Then she added more dismissively, “It’s a time they all look back fondly on I hope, despite everything else.”

Despite the sudden estrangement from their nephews, the increasing negligence of their father, and Alicent’s own frayed mental state with her uncle sending constant missives and messengers about seizing their chance after Rhaenyra left the Red Keep.

Despite the stitches still fresh in Aemond’s listless face.

She gave up the habit when the drinking habit becoming a drinking problem for Aegon, after he and Helaena were wed, and the nonsensical whispers of her daughter turned to shrieking in the night. Neither of them were willing to go, after that, and with Viserys more and more often abed, Alicent became too busy running a kingdom.

“And you?” Rhaenyra raised a brow, a small smile tugging at the corner of her mouth.

Alicent felt a quiet, wistful sort of melancholy, remembering the girl she used to be under that tree. “I have…mostly fond memories there, yes.”

She watched Rhaenyra’s face quickly grow sober, and was quick to grasp the alpha’s hand—an affection they’d reclaimed with one another with a surprising sort of ease, this past month.

“Some I’m not proud of,” Alicent continued, grateful when Rhaenyra squeezed her hand back. “You didn’t deserve my ire, after you proposed to Harwin. It was not my place—“

“I still shouldn’t have said what I did,” Rhaenyra shook her head, surprising Alicent. “I had gotten defensive, but it still was wrong. And I was too proud to apologize, later—but I regret it every day.”

What does it matter if I can’t birth a child? I’ll marry Harwin, and use an omega surrogate like the Valyrians of old. What else do omegas want marriage for?

Alicent laughed sadly. “And then I called you a knotless alpha that wouldn’t have any trouble birthing pups like the worst kind of omega whore.”

“You were right on both accounts, though,” Rhaenyra answered in a dry tone. She rubbed her free hand over her own stomach with a soft smile. 

“No,” Alicent said, still holding tight to Rhaenyra’s other hand. “I don’t think I was right about anything, in those days.”

She stiffened when Rhaenyra raised their entwined fingers, the alpha pressing a kiss to the back of her hand.

It’d happened more and more, recently—mostly when Rhaenyra greeted her or said goodbye. Quite memorably, the night of their sons’ wedding. When Rhaenyra found her tearing off whole pieces of skin from her nail beds, numb to the blood staining her lap, the alpha entwined their hands and pressed kisses to each bloody finger. She swore they made the right decision for their sons and the realm. That Lucerys and Aemond were both ready to do their best by each other. Then she kissed Alicent’s hand one last time—in the center of her palm—before leaving for the night.

Alicent would never get used to it. Wasn’t sure she was supposed to grow comfortable with such blatant affection from an alpha, even if it served her ends at the moment. They were both unmated now, it was true, if only for the last moon in Alicent’s case. 

But it wasn’t the short time since Viserys’s death that made her uncomfortable—42 days, not that she’d been counting—it was the knowledge that she’d wanted Rhaenyra’s affection over her own alpha for all twenty four years, three moons, and 15 days of their marriage. 

Most likely her entire life.

And for twenty four years Alicent had no intentions of facing that truth, till now.

[rd0265667]

Haerin x M!Reader: The Villain(Part 1)

1.3k words

Warnings: Mentions of death

Haerin's POV

"In breaking news, after protecting Seoul for years, the superhero codenamed: Bronze Swan has been killed by the Villain known as the Reaper. This is the villain who has made a name from himself recently, eliminating 5 veteran superheroes in the last half a year. The Squadron has yet to make a comment on this event. We here at Seoul News Station, send out our respects and prayers for the great fallen hero and anyone affected."

I grumbled as I listened to the newscaster go on, detailing what the Reaper had been doing the past few months. They were ingrates. Just before the Reaper came along, they were complaining about these heroes not being as active anymore, branding them as selfish for not fighting as much anymore. Then that villain comes along, and now they act like they always loved them. Hypocrites.

I walked over to my closet, a retina scanner keeping my suit secret. I heard from my sources on the streets that the Reaper was last seen at a warehouse near the downtown region. The heroes he killed were my idols... Before I got my powers, Bronze Swan once saved me from being run over by a getaway car, and the Reaper snuffed her out just like that. What kind of monster can have that little regard for human life, not only to take a life, but to take the lives of people who have done almost nothing but good their entire life.

I grabbed my suit, suiting up in my armor, with a special helmet that honed my precognitive powers, boots that helped with my leaping abilities, gloves that had tasers for incapacitation, and if all else failed, my mirror gun. My Australian in the chair, as she calls herself, gave it to me for containing threats for a predetermined time, or keeping civilians safe in a potentially catastrophic big fight, where the people that the gun hit would be trapped in a pocket dimension for a set amount of time. The pocket dimension was a mirror of ours, hence the name, and those inside the dimension would be invisible and intangible to anyone not in the mirror dimension. This maneuver was risky though, as a downside of the weapon was that the person who shot the gun would be sent into that dimension too. As I took the gun, I silently set the dial

{6 Months}

If all else fails, at least the world would be free from that monster for half a year.

I sighed, taking a deep breath before leaping out of my window, running across the rooftops of the nearby buildings. Today is the day the Reaper goes down.

I perched on a nearby building, surveying the warehouses. I squinted my eyes as I saw, "Warehouse 4". That's where my contact told me he was. I leaped over to the ceiling, lightly tapping the ceiling of the warehouse. Reinforced Titanium, it's different from the materials used for the warehouses normally. This is it.

I cracked open the door, stealthily entering the warehouse, as I saw a hooded silhouette, his trademark weapon lying to the side as he watched television. As I snuck up on him, I heard him say out loud, "No need to sneak in hero, I'm open for business." He turned around as he grabbed his scythe, looking at me. "Welcome, Wildcat? I believe that's your name. It's shocking that you would find me this quickly, your career as a hero just began, but if you'd like it to end so quickly, who am I to judge." Why was he taunting me already.

"You're going down Reaper!" I said, crouching into a pouncing position. "Wait, you know I can do it without-" He said out before I lunged at him, with him dodging. Was he shocked? Did he really think he could launch an attack on Superheroes and not be pursued? Maybe the Squadron don't care, but I do. I let out a flurry of attacks, but even with my precognitive powers and fighting prowess, his skill, aided by the length covered by his scythe, allowed him an iron clad defense, not a single one of my attacks being able to tag him. 'Time to change things up.' I thought to myself, before starting to adopt a more acrobatic fighting style, not dissimilar to parkour and modified hapkido. Jumping around and over him, I slowly disoriented him, as he slowly stumbled, with one of my punches tagging him in the stomach, his armor protecting from my taser.  "That's enough!" He shouted out, slamming his scythe on the ground as I was sent flying backwards by a black wave.  As he slowly walked towards me, I slowly regained my bearings. 'His defense is too ironclad, and with his powers, it's only a matter of time before he incapacitates me. It's time...' I slowly reached behind me, grabbing the mirror gun, ready to blast him with it. "Listen wildcat, we can-" He said, walking towards me to deliver what I assume was going to be some generic villain monologue. I quickly raised the gun, blasting him in the stomach, as we both felt ourselves get transported to the mirror dimension.

As he looked around in confusion, I stood up, smirking.  "This is the mirror dimension, where you can't hurt anyone, destroy anything." I said, smirking. "What the hell! I had an agreement with the Squadron!" He yelled out in anger. "No wonder the Squadron did not take you down. They were too afraid to fight you. Well it's too bad for you that I'm not part of the Squadron!" I shouted out, glaring at him  "That explains alot, I should have known this would happen. Listen-" "Less talking more fighting." I grunted, lunging at him once again, but the previous fight had already taken it's toll on me, and he was mostly unaffected. He easily took me down, and towards the end, I felt a sharp pain in my shoulder. He stabbed me with his scythe. As I collapsed into a pool of my own blood, the last thing I saw was the Reaper standing over me, uttering, "You've got to be fucking kidding me."

I woke up in a foreign room, sitting up before promptly collapsing in bed once again from the stinging pain in my bandaged shoulder. Wait, bandaged? I looked at my shoulder, it had been bandaged up! Who did that? There's only me in this dimension. Well, me and.... there's no way right? I also realized a weight on my face, a pair of spectacles sitting on my face. That's weird, I don't wear spectacles. I slowly took them off, suddenly seeing many people around me, but it was almost like they weren't there. Then it all made sense to me, the glasses blocked out the images of the people in the real world to make being here not so weird. Makes sense. With a considerable amount of effort, I got myself out of bed, slowly walking out of the room, before seeing a teenage boy, had to be around 16 or 17, just like me, standing at a kitchen with an apron on, turning around with two plates of food. "Good, you're awake, here's breakfast." He said, setting a plate down. "Oh, thank you. Who are you?" I said, looking around confusedly "Hey Wildcat, you've only been out for a night, don't tell me you forgot that you sent me here." I looked at him in confusion. "I've only used the gun once, and I only used it on the reaper. How did you get here?"

"Well, that's because I'm the Reaper." He said

[toournextadventure]

since this blog has lost all rules and 🕷️ got some advice here, hopefully i could too?

so basically i’m in a trio (ik- first red flag) and it’s me, S and Z in this gc. i started noticing in the past few months that S and Z have gotten closer and started sharing more stuff privately but then they’ll bring it up in our gc and when i go to ask about the info or joke, they shut me down, ignore me, or outright say it’s not my business.

(before anyone suggests they’re together, S is a girl and Z is a guy and Z is sooooo gay. he’s not out but it’s super obvious so it’s just me and him being homiesexuals while S is straight- just some context lol)

so with that being said, i’m not at all saying they can’t have their own friendship and they’re not allowed to talk privately, however, when they bring their private tea, jokes, and plans into our gc and then act like it fine with 3rd wheeling, i’m sure you can see how this would get tiring, which it has.

so i just was wondering what advice you could give for this situation- and i also just kinda wanted to vent lolll

thanks for reading and thanks in advance for any advice :)

-🎸

Y'all can always ask for advice! I'm all of y'all's older sibling now, remember? I've adopted y'all. But I promise I wasn't ignoring you! Yesterday got hella crazy and I had to have a good think about this one since I've never been in this kind of situation (I've never had a gc with friends, does that make me sound lame? 😭). So that being said PLEASE take this with a grain of salt, yeah?

First, I don't think being in a trio is necessarily an immediate red flag. I don't think I've ever been in one, but I would imagine it's not necessarily a bad thing. And branching off happens sometimes, and like you even said, it's not even necessarily a bad thing or an issue. Like, it happens, you know?

But, that being said and as you mentioned, it's not that they're having their own convo it's just that they're bringing it into the gc and, lowkey, turning the gc into their private chat but with an audience. And, understandably, it's not fun to be the audience when the purpose is to be a gc.

SO I'll tell you what I personally would do. Again, take it with a grain of salt, I've never been in this situation, I don't know much background, and in the end it's up to you! But I personally would try and have a chat with whichever person you're closest too because they would be the least likely to try and turn it into A Thing when it doesn't have to be. It can be over text, a call, in person, whatever you're most comfortable with. But you can essentially just say you have no issue with them talking, but the gc should function as a trio gc, where it's an equal space and everyone is on equal ground.

I guarantee it won't go that smoothly, because it never does with real people and real talks. But end of the day, whichever one you're closest too, just try and talk to them and let them know how it feels. They might get defensive (most do, it's natural), but make sure you say how it appears/feels to you. All you can try to do is get them to at least see it from your perspective. I can't say if it'll make a turn for better or worse, but I'd bet you'll feel at least a bit better getting it out.

End of the day, if you ever wanna come rant, feel free! I promise it's a safe space, rant just to get it off your chest or advice, or even just to yell into the void. Love ya, smooches 🫶

[deanstead]

A Step Back

Pairing: Jay Halstead x Reader

Requested: yes, by anon

Summary: Y/N initiates a break when she feels that she’s the only one trying to keep their relationship afloat.

Word Count: 1,829

Warnings: generalized breakup angst

A/N: I’m not sure if this is exactly what you were looking for, but this is how it turned out anyway so I still hope you like it! Do drop by to let me know what you think!

JAY HALSTEAD MASTERLIST

“I can’t do this anymore.”

The words echoed around the apartment, as Jay raised his head almost in slow motion, to look at you, the frown on his face getting deeper as he stared back at you.

You’d reached this conclusion sometime last week, when you’d once again been staring back at the empty chair opposite you, the food that was getting cold on his plate barely touched, the wine in his glass still as full as when you’d poured it.

It wasn’t just the fact that he wasn’t around, or that he was busy. You’d known all that before getting into this relationship. It was that things had never been this way.

You remembered the few times he’d had to go deep under and you didn’t get to see him for a few months, or when he was so wrapped up in a case, you didn’t get to see much of him - he was gone by the time you awoke or you’d be asleep when he came home for a change of clothes. But even in those times, he had his own way of loving you - little notes he left on the counter that he'd scribbled quickly before he left the house, food left in the fridge or sitting out on the counter for you to find, dropping you messages in the day whenever he had a moment to breathe. You knew he cared.

But things had been different for the past few months.

You felt like you were the only one trying to keep this relationship afloat and you didn’t have the energy for it anymore. You didn’t think you could go on like this, staying up to catch him only for him to collapse into bed immediately. Jay had stopped responding to you so you’d stopped communicating for the past week and he’d gone on like nothing was out of the ordinary. The worst part of it was the fights you got into every time you confronted him about it.

But now Jay blinked back at you, looking like he was caught off guard.

“Y/N, what…”

You shook your head. “I don’t think I can do this anymore, Jay. Are we just roommates now? We don’t even talk anymore. I have no idea what’s going on with you, just like how you don’t know what’s going on with me.”

Jay stepped forward, shaking his head now. “No, Y/N. I don’t want to do this.”

You exhaled, ignoring the streak of tears down your face now.

“Y/N, please. Don’t do this. It’s this case, alright? Once we get this squared away, I promise I’ll…”

You stepped back again. “You don’t get it. It’s not this case. It’s not any case.” You raised a hand to wipe away the tears but it was useless as another tear fell. “I knew you’d be busy, I knew what I was doing when I agreed to be your girlfriend and even when I agreed to move in with you. But that’s not it, Jay. We’re disconnected and if I have to explain this to you, it just proves my whole point.”

But the look in Jay’s eyes made you want to take everything back.

“Let’s just… take a step back alright? I’ll call in a few days.” You said now, because you knew if you spent another second looking into his eyes you might take it all back. But that would just be sweeping everything under the carpet and even though everything was a mess, you knew that you didn’t want that kind of relationship.

So you turned your eyes away, took what you might need for the next week and left the apartment you shared with Jay Halstead.

The next week passed in a blur and unlike your colleagues, you were relieved to be up to your eyes in things you had to do in the office. It was a great distraction and you threw yourself into your work. Even that hadn’t been able to take your mind fully off Jay, but in your defense, it wasn’t all in your mind.

You knew Jay was trying to give you space and that the few texts he’d sent you over the week was him trying to balance out giving you space and trying to convince you that this was not the end for the both of you.

But you’d put it off, telling him that you were swamped, mainly because you knew you still loved Jay Halstead with all your heart. Which was what had made it so hard for you to turn away.

The real wrench in your plans, however, came when Will Halstead showed up at your friend's apartment where you'd been crashing at for the past week.

“Will?”

Will gave you a small smile. “Can we talk?”

You frowned but stepped back to let him in. It wasn’t like you and Will had been friends before you’d started seeing Jay. You’d just hung out a few times with him and Jay after the both of you had started seeing each other. So this was literally the first time you and Will were meeting without Jay.

The whole thing felt weird, so you’d just sat yourself across from him at the table, handing Will a glass of water. “What’s up?” You asked, kind of awkwardly.

Will sighed and looked up. “Jay’s too stubborn to do it himself, so I’ll have to do it.”

You angled an eyebrow upwards, not sure where this was going but nodding at Will to go on, sitting there as Will started speaking - about how Jay had been acting a little weird the past few months because of a case Intelligence had been on. A case about children. And he’d been so in his head about catching the elusive perp while also not wanting to burden you with his own problems that he’d somehow neglected you along the way.

“You know how he is, Y/N.” Will said quietly, that made you look up.

Will put a hand up. “Look, I get it. It didn’t help that he didn’t tell you anything, or that he just pulled away from you. But he’s been a mess ever since you said you needed a break. And you know Jay.”

You sighed. You’d always believed in the universe giving you signs, like little helpful pointers to point you in the right direction and this time, the universe was pointing you back to Jay Halstead.

“Will. I’m not doing this because I stopped caring about him, or because I stopped loving him. It kills me.” You paused, your eyes meeting Will’s. “But I don’t know if I can keep doing this. Maybe he thinks he’s protecting me, but it just makes everything worse. And I…”

Will shook his head. “I’m not here to pressure you into taking him back or to interfere. At least, not more than I already have.” He paused. “I just wanted you to have the full picture. Because my brother might be a detective, but he's an idiot.”

You nodded. “Thanks, Will.”

You thought that Will’s visit would have confused you, but ironically everything became much clearer about what you had to do.

You called Jay to say you were ready to talk if he had the time, to which Jay had agreed, and even through the phone you could hear a mix of slight veiled hope mixed with nervousness as if the two of you hadn’t already been dating for a whole year prior to this.

Jay had invited you in awkwardly, as if some of your things weren’t still in his closet, or like you hadn’t been sleeping in the same bed slightly over a week ago.

“I’ll make us some coffee.” Jay said, smiling.

You nodded, your eyes raking over the familiar place. By the time Jay came out, he looked like he was resigned to whatever you were going to tell him, his green eyes holding a look of sadness as he approached you with two cups of coffee.

You blinked back at him, before you moved towards him, stepping right up to him and putting your arms around him, burying your face into his shoulder.

Jay froze, his arm still sticking outwards, both hands laden with a coffee cup each.

“I know.” You whispered. “And you’re an idiot.”

Jay sighed, and you felt the air leave his body as you still pressed up close against him. “I can accept that there are times you can’t be with me, and I can accept that there are things you can’t tell me. I accept that your job puts you in the line of fire and I accept that you want to protect me from all of that.”

You took a breath, your face still tucked into him. “But I do not accept you hiding your feelings from me. I do not accept you pushing me away. That’s not protecting me, Jay. That hurts me.”

You pulled away now, fully aware that Jay couldn’t do anything with two cups of coffee in his hands.

You took the cups from him, setting it down on the coffee table behind you. The coffee table you’d picked out.

“So let’s make a deal.” You said.

Jay glanced up at you, still not having said anything.

“You don’t have to tell me everything in detail. Just tell me if you’re having a hard time, or if you’re stuck in your head and I’ll back off.”

Jay blinked back at you.

“But you have to give me the space to worry, or to unsure and insecure. I just need to know you care, Jay. I just need to know I’m not the only person working on this.”

Jay stepped forward as you finished talking and pulled you into his arms. “I’m sorry, Y/N.” He whispered, his breath tickling your ear as he pressed you gently into him.

“I promise.”

You glanced up at him. “You do?”

Jay nodded. “I’m sorry I was an idiot. I’m sorry that I made you feel all these horrible things all by yourself. I’ll do better and be the person you deserve. I promise.”

You felt the tears well up in your eyes again, the feeling that everything was right once again settling into your heart, for the first time in a long time.

“I’m sorry I said I couldn’t do it.” You told him, looping your arms around his waist again. “I was just upset.”

Jay didn’t say anything, just tightened his arms around you, his hand resting gently on the back of your head. After a short silence, Jay pulled gently away. “Don’t you ever think for a second that I could ever stop loving you.” He whispered.

You gave a small smile. “I missed you.”

Jay stroked your cheek gently with a thumb. “I love you.” He whispered, before he leaned forward and pressed his lips firmly onto yours, like he needed to seal his promise.

THANK YOU FOR READING!! PLEASE TELL ME WHAT YOU THOUGHT OF THIS!!

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Character taglists are open!

[starrysoftie]

— diary | p.p

“She’s like a shot of espresso...”

includes: tasm! Peter Parker

summary: you accidentally find Peter Parker’s diary

notes: a request from a lovely anon

I deleted this because there was no interaction on it for like a few hours so I thought my acc was broken and then I was informed that tags weren’t working LOLL. if u want u can read more abt the issue here

ALSO BIG FAT SHOUTOUT TO @scandalous-chaos FOR EDITING ILOVEU

Peter Parker was not the kind of person to have a diary.

Or so you thought.

You had some suspicions he may have one, starting from the time you were helping him organize his room and he was extremely against you sorting through the stack of journals in the corner of his room.

And on top of that, he was overly defensive.

So defensive as in he chucked threw something at your face every single time you even glanced in the general direction of them.

You pointed an accusing finger at him. “Peter, look, we’re best friends, I can handle the truth. Are they porn?”

“No?? What the fu—”

The next time was when you asked to borrow a journal that was on his desk to rip out a piece of scratch paper. He shot a web at the book and slingshotted it back into his grasp right as you laid a single finger on it, sputtering some half-assed excuse like it was ‘Aunt May’s precious recipe book.’

Bullshit.

You could see right through him, but honestly, you could care less. What you did care about was finishing your stupid english final. You reached for another journal but he snatched it away even faster than the first one, much to your displeasure.

“Can I use this one?” You pointed to yet another notebook as he shook his head in disapproval.

Now to a purple one. “This?”

“No.”

“This one?”

“No.”

“What about this one?”

“No.”

“That one?”

“Wait- here, use this.” He digs through the desk drawer that he had already cluttered up again (even though you had reorganized it three days ago), pulling out a stack of post-it notes. He tossed them your way.

You deadpan. “These are post-it notes.”

“Clearly.” He hums, shrugging.

“Neon pink ones.”

“Uh yeah—” He shuffled through more clutter in his desk, “but I have orange or yellow ones too, if you’d like.”

“These are… bright neon pink.”

“Now I’m convinced you’re just stating obvious facts.”

“Peter.”

He turns to face you. “Yes?”

“How the hell am I supposed to turn in a four-paged english essay FOR OUR FINAL on pink post-it notes?”

He shrugged again. “I dunno. Magic maybe?”

The most recent and suspicious time was when he was absolutely flipping his shit when he couldn’t find the navy blue journal he’s been attached at the hip with. Like any normal human, you offered to help him look, but he immediately refused.

“Thank you, and I’m sorry, but no.”

“The hell?” You exclaim, a confused look painting your features. “Why not?”

“Because I said so.”

“You’re aware that normal people accept help when they are offered it?”

“Normal people don’t have superpowers.”

You roll your eyes, stubbornly refusing to acknowledge he was right. “You know you’re gonna have a better chance of finding it if you let somebody help.”

“Obviously, but I just can’t.”

“Why not?” You question, your previously concerned expression slowly morphing into an irritated one. “You’ve literally been carrying that journal with you for the past month which means it obviously has some kind of value to you, and by extension to me. Not to mention you’ve just been super secretive about it.”

He sighs, obviously feeling guilty about his erratic behavior. “I know, and I’m sorry for being an ass about it but—”

“Peter??”

Aunt May opened his bedroom door, placing some cookies on the desk and she used her other hand to signal to Peter to follow her. “Aw honey, it’s good to see you again! I didn’t even notice you were here!”

You offered a small, yet kind smile. “Hey Aunt May! Yeah, Pete and I have been busy with finals so we haven’t been able to hangout like we normally do.”

“I’m glad you’re able to get some free time and destress from all the studying though.” She said, before she tugged on Peter’s sleeve to regain his attention. “Peter, come on. I need your help fixing something.”

He sighs, stepping over all the piles of mess he created in his frantic search to find his journal. Right before he exited the room he turned to you with a stern glare.

“Promise me you won’t go looking for it?”

You nod. “I pinky promise.”

Obviously as the amazing best friend you are, as soon as you’re out of his sight you set out to go and find the secret notebook.

And did you successfully find it???

Nope!! plus he caught u snooping around

lmfao loser

Rightfully so, all these events have been leading up to this one moment you’ve been waiting for.

The seemingly lost journal was not really lost at all.

He had left it in your room when he had come over the day before.

Admittedly, the overwhelming urge to snoop through it had obviously crossed your mind more than a few times. Who wouldn’t be curious about the journal he held in such a secretive light?

You picked up the journal that he laid on the edge of your bed, flipping to the cover and rationalizing your actions to see if the journal was yours or his.

First page was scribbled in deep red ink that wrote, ‘PETER PARKER’S DIARY #5. IF LOST PLEASE RETURN AND DO NOT READ UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES.”

DIARY???

“This thing was a diary??” Your jaw drops in surprise, not expecting the true nature of the notebook to be a diary out of all things. Of course you had your suspicions, but Peter never seemed to be the kind of sentimental guy who wrote out his feelings.

And this was his fifth one???

There were more??

There was little to no self control within your body at this point, the curiosity flowing through you clouding any rational judgment you had.

You flipped through the pages, most were actually filled with pictures he had taken and drawings, a few pages written down here and there. One section had specifically caught your attention.

There was a neon pink post-it note bookmark that had your name scribbled on it.

You assumed it would’ve been more collages of photos of the both of you as the previous pages were, but boy you were wrong.

Very wrong.

Heat creeped up on your cheeks as you were completely frozen in shock for the second time that night. You read his familiar chicken scratch over and over.

She’s like a shot of espresso. She’s like being bathed in sunlight. She's incredibly energetic, enthusiastic and has this sense of play and fun which is incredibly exciting. She’s the light and love of my life. I’ve been in love with her since we’ve met and I always will be, but she doesn’t know and I don’t know how to tell her.

You’re speechless.

It’s probably about time you grew a pair and figured out how to confess your love for him as well.

But little do you know, he may or may not have purposefully planted that diary in your room so he didn’t need to make the first move.

Guess you’ll never know.

masterlist

tag list: @scandalous-chaos @xdsage @grxcisxhy-wp

[waitimcomingtoo]

This is Me Trying

Part one and two

Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader enemies to lovers!

Synopsis: it’s time for secrets to come out

Masterlist

“How’s the project coming along?” You asked as you laid your head in Peter’s lap. You were in his room, like you always were, a month after you officially started dating.

“Just about done.” He answered you. “I made the periods bigger so we’d hit the maximum page length.”

“Ooo.” You snickered. “What a bad boy.”

“I’m really not.” He chuckled and began to play with your hair. “This is the most incriminating thing I’ve done all year.”

“I wouldn’t mind if you were.” You shrugged. “I like bad boys.”

“Do you?”

“Yeah. Remember that guy that like died in the war but then came back to life as an assassin? From a few years ago?” You asked as you looked up at him.

“The Winter Soldier?” Peter wondered.

“Yeah. Him.” You nodded. “I wanted to fuck him.”

The bluntness in your tone knocked the wind out of Peter’s chest. Nothing could have prepared him for what you had just said. You were too busy laughing to notice how shaken he was.

“W-what?” He stuttered as you sat up.

“I don’t know.” You laughed. “Like, I knew he was a murderer but I was into it. I wanted to spread him on a cracker.”

Peter pouted and folded his arms, his jealously getting the better of him.

“He’s not as strong as he looks, you know.” Peter got defensive. “And his hair is super greasy. It’s like a freaking slip and slide up there.”

“Hm. That’s a problem for me. I’m more into curls.” You smiled as you ran your fingers through his hair. “And how would you know how strong he is?”

Peter gulped, realizing he had said a little too much. Spider-Man knew how strong Bucky was, but you didn’t know about that.

“I don’t.” He lied. “I’m just assuming.”

“You don’t think he’s strong with that metal arm?” You asked as you pulled up a picture of him on your phone. “His biceps are like the size of my head.”

“They’re only bigger than mine because he’s older. A lot older.” Peter insisted. “Like, he’s geriatric.”

“Oh my God. Look at him!” You ignored Peter’s comment and showed him a picture of Bucky. “I want to suck on his thighs.”

“Ew.” Peter whined. “He’s like 400 years old.”

“So what you’re telling me is he’s experienced.” You raised your eyebrows suggestively. Peter let out an angry huff, jealousy bubbling in his stomach.

“Gross.” He groaned. “Why are you saying this in front of me? I’m your boyfriend. Not him.”

“I’m just kidding, Pete.” You chuckled and cupped his chin. “Plus, he’s basically a fictional character to us. It’s not like he’s some guy we know.”

Peter looked to the side, hating when he had to lie to you. Bucky was someone he knew personally, but you didn’t know that.

“Hm.” Peter mumbled quietly. You noticed Peter’s expression and climbed into lab, straddling his hips.

“Hey, I’m sorry.” You cupped his face and rubbed your nose against his. “I didn’t mean to make you all pouty. I’m only kidding about the Summer Soldier.”

“Winter Soldier.” Peter halfheartedly corrected you.

“Winter Soldier. See?” You shrugged. “I don’t even know his name.”

“You still said you would fuck him, though.” Peter pouted as he looked down at his lap.

“I said I wanted to. Past tense.” You corrected. “I had crush on him when I was like 14. I don’t even think of him or his thunder thighs anymore.”

“I have a hard time believing that.” Peter grumbled. You could tell he was still jealous so you pulled him in for a long kiss.

“It’s true. I only have eyes for you, Pete.” You whispered once you pulled away. He cracked a smile before rolling his eyes at you.

“Right.” He said sarcastically. “Just me and the murderer you want in your pants.”

“Come on.” You whined when he didn’t let up. “Can you even blame me? He works with the Avengers. You have to admit, that’s hot.”

Peter stopped pouting when he heard this. He may not be able to be the kind of bad boy you liked, but he was an Avenger.

“You really think that’s hot?” He raised an eyebrow.

“Duh.” You stated. “Don’t you like the Avengers?”

“Most of them.” He nodded. “But not Bucky.”

“Who’s Bucky?” You asked.

“Sorry.” He shook his head. “The Winter Soldier.”

“Why did you call him Bucky?” You laughed in confusion. You had no idea who James “Bucky” Barnes was. Unlike Peter, who sat across from him at dinner a week before.

“That’s his nickname.” Peter explained without thinking it through.

“I didn’t realize you and the Winter Soldier were on a nickname basis.” You teased. “What does he call you?”

“He doesn’t really talk to me.” Peter shrugged. “He’s really quiet, except when he’s with Cap.”

You sat back suddenly, looking at Peter like he was crazy. He was forgetting who his audience was and how you knew nothing of his double life.

“What?” Peter asked when he saw your face.

“Bucky? Cap?” You repeated his words. “Who are these people? What the hell are you talking about?”

“Bucky goes by, well, Bucky. And most of us call Steve, Cap.” Peter explained. “Well, except for Mr. Stark. He calls him Blondie most of the time.”

“So you’re hanging out with the avengers now?” You raised a skeptical eyebrow.

“Well, yeah, when when I’m…” Peter trailed off when he realized his mistake.

“When you’re what?” You asked. Peter knew he backed himself into a corner here. He didn’t want to lie to you anymore, so he figured it was time to tell you the truth. Not that he has much of a choice.

“I have something to tell you.” He stated. “It’s kinda important.”

“Okay.” You nodded and held his hand. “What’s up?”

“Don’t freak out, okay?” He prefaced. “It’s not as crazy as it sounds.”

“Oh.” You gasped. “Are you gay?”

“What? No.” Peter answered immediately. “Why was that your first guess?”

“Well my first guess was steroids but I know how you feel about that.” You mumbled out of the corner of your mouth.

“It’s neither of those things. I’ve Uh…I’ve been bitten.” Peter began, not sure how else to phrase it. You smiled a little, thinking he was flirting.

“So have I.” You mumbled as you brought his hand to your lips to kiss the back of it.

“No. Not like that.” He waved his hand and your face fell. “I mean, yes like that. But that’s not what I’m talking about right now.”

“Then what is it, Peter?”

“They do a lot of experimental science at Oscorp. Genetic mutations, stuff like that.” He explained, beating around the bush.

“Why are we talking about Oscorp?” You wondered.

“I broke into one of the labs freshman year.” He explained. “I was trying to figure out some equation my father was working on.”

“Okay.” You said skeptically.

“I ended up in this weird room with all these modified spiders and one bit me. Right here.” He showed you his knuckles, which had a tiny scar on the center. You took his hand and examined the scar closer.

“What is this leading to?”

“After I was bitten, I could do all these things I couldn’t do before.” He told you. “I could climb walls, lift buses, and you know, my biceps grew.”

“You’re telling me a spider bite gave you muscles?”

“I’m telling you that I’m Spider-Man.” He said finally, making the room go silent. It was his first time telling a person on purpose, so it meant a lot to him. Your expression changed from skeptical to serious as you dropped his hand. You reached forward slowly and touched his face, staring at him like you were seeing him for the first time.

“Oh my God.” You whispered. “Peter, you’re…”

He put his hand over yours when you trailed off, anticipating the end of your sentence. Suddenly, you pushed his face away with a smirk.

“Full of shit.” You finished. “You are so full of shit. You almost had me.”

“I’m not.” Peter insisted. “I am Spiderman. I swear.”

“Peter. Be serious.” You whined as you got off his bed. “I thought you had something real to tell me.”

“I am being serious.” He told you. “This is the truth.”

“This is the truth.” You mimicked his voiced, like you used to. “Why would I believe that? Because you called the Fall Fighter by his nickname? Please.”

Peter was starting to grow frustrated. He always feared someone would find out his secret and he’s have to beg them not to tell. He never imagined he’d be sitting in front of his girlfriend, trying to convince her he was Spiderman.

“I know Bucky’s nickname because I know him.” Peter explained as he got off his bed. “It’s the same reason I know how strong he isn’t. He tried to punch me once and I caught his fist before he could. And that thing is made of vibranium. My hand hurt for a week.”

“I don’t get it.” You shrugged. “I don’t get the joke.”

“It’s not a joke. I really am Spiderman.” He insisted. “Mr. Stark recruited me back in 2016 to help him fight Captain America at an airport in Germany.”

“Yeah.” You nodded. “And I killed Princess Diana. I killed her and framed John-“

Peter grabbed your face and kissed you to shut you up, not wanting to hear your jokes when he was trying to tell you the biggest secret of his life.

“Can you shut up for a second?” He asked sweetly when he pulled away. “I’m trying to talk to you about something important. And we both know who really killed her.”

“No you’re not.” You snorted. “You’re trying to mess with me.”

“I’m telling you the truth.” He whined. “Why won’t you believe me?”

“Because you’re saying ridiculous things.” You chuckled as you walked over to your phone, which had been resting on his desk.

“May’s asking what we want for dinner.” You read her text off your screen. “Do you want Chinese again or-“

Before you could finish your sentence, Peter shot a web at your waist and pulled you towards him. You stumbled into his arms before looking down in confusion. You saw the web attached to your hip and tugged at it, but it didn’t come off. You looked at Peter with wide eyes for some answers.

“What the fuck?” You whispered harshly as you yanked on the web.

“Do you believe me now?” He asked as he held up his wrist. You saw the web shooter he had slipped on and touched it carefully. Between the web on your hip and his crazy story, you had no choice but to believe him.

“Well now I’m just embarrassed.” You mumbled sheepishly. “I was pretty sure I was right.”

“I told you you’d have to get used to be being right.” Peter smirked as he helped pull the web off of you. You put your hands on your hips and sighed loudly as you processes the information.

“Okay, wait.” You began. “How have you been Spider-Man this whole time? I’ve seen you fall up the stairs.”

“It’s different when I have the suit on.” He told you. “It gives me confidence.”

“Can I see it?” You asked, a childlike smile on your lips.

“The suit? Sure.” Peter went to his closet and pulled it out of his hiding spot. He brought it over to you, noticing your awestruck expression and smiling.

“Wow.” You whispered as you stared at the folded suit. “Can I touch it?”

“Go ahead.” He smiled, loving how impressed you were. He watched you fondly as you carefully ran your fingertips along the suit, tracing all the lines and details.

“It feels like a football.” You commented, making him laugh.

“Yeah.” He agreed. “I’m not sure what material it is. Mr. Stark made it for me.”

“Tony Stark made this for you?” You gasped.

“Yeah.” He nodded. “A few years ago.”

“Is that when he recruited you?” You wondered. “For Germany?”

“Is it. You listened.” He smiled happily when you remembered little details he had told you.

“Well I can’t tune you out anymore if you’re my boyfriend.” You winked at him before returning your attention to the suit. He blushed a little, appreciating how far you’ve come in your relationship.

“Can you put it on for me?” You asked suddenly as you looked up at him. Peter didn’t expect this reaction, especially not this request.

“Really? You want me to put it on?” He smiled shyly.

“Please?” Your eyes lit up. “I want to see you in it.”

“Okay.” He nodded as he tried to hide his excitement. “I’ll go put it on.”

Peter went into his bathroom and slipped into the suit. He didn’t know why he was as excited as he was to show you. Maybe because you hadn’t caught him in the suit like May and Ned had. He told you his secret willingly, and you asked to know more.

“Are you ready?” You called from the other side of the door. “I feel like I’m waiting to see you walk down the aisle.”

“I’m ready.” He called back as he pressed the center of the suit so it tightened against his skin. He gave himself one last look in the mirror before going back to his bedroom.

“Here it is.” He said sheepishly as he walked towards you. “What do you think?”

Your jaw dropped a little when you saw him. He seemed taller, but you realized it was just because he wasn’t slouching. In his suit, he looked more confident then you had ever seen him. He looked like a hero, and it brought a smile to your face.

“Holy shit.” You whispered as you walked closer to him. You reached forward to touch him, but quickly moved withdrew your hand.

“Are you scared?” He worried when he saw you pull away.

“No. Not of you.” You assured him. “But sometimes I find random glitter on my hands and I’m scared of getting anything on the suit.”

Peter chuckled at your reasoning and picked up your hand.

“It’s okay. You can touch me.” He whispered as he put his hand on his chest. Your eyebrows went up when you felt his warmth through the suit.

“Wow.” You smiled softly. “I didn’t think I’d be able to feel your heartbeat through it”.

“Well you make it beat pretty fast.” He told you as he put his hand over yours.

“Wait.” You pulled away a little. “If you’re Spider-Man, does that mean…”

“Yes?” Peter asked when you trailed off.

“You can set me up with Bucky.” You finished your sentence. “Do you have his number? Tell him I want to wash his hair.”

Peter let out a loud groan, not finding your joke funny. You laughed and tried to pull him back to you, but he kept pulling away.

“I’m kidding. I’m kidding. Come back.” You laughed and tugged on his arm. “Come here. I love you.”

Peter stopped pulling away and froze. When you saw the bewildered look on his face, your smile fell.

“What?” He asked, his voice coming out in a whisper. That shit eating grin you used to hate broke through, lighting up his features. You tried not to let your shock show as you realized what you had said.

“Hm?” You pretended not to understand. “What?”

“What did you just say?” Peter again, now unsure he has heard you correctly.

“I didn’t say anything.” You shrugged, trying to act like you didn’t just tell your boyfriend that you loved him. It’s not that you didn’t mean it, but you didn’t mean to tell him that soon.

“Did you just tell me you loved me?” Peter asked hopefully as he pulled your closer to him.

“Hm. No. Wasn’t me.” You shook your head. “Must have been the wind.”

“My windows are closed.”

“Air conditioning.” You corrected.

“It’s off.”

“Then I don’t know what to tell you. I didn’t tell you I loved you. That would be ridiculous. How could I have fallen in love with the most annoying person on the planet?” You asked, questioning yourself more then him. You didn’t know how you had fallen for Peter in such a short amount of time. Just a few months ago, you couldn’t stand him. Now, you were standing in front of him, hoping he loved you back.

“I ask myself that every time I look at you.” He said, making your breath hitch in your throat.

“Are you saying you love me too?” You asked slowly.

“I thought you didn’t tell me you loved me?” He smirked, always taking a chance to tease you.

“I didn’t.” You lied, but you knew you were caught.

“Damn. That’s a shame.” Peter smiled softly. “Because I love you.”

“Yeah.” You smiled back once he confessed his feelings. “I bet you do, loser.”

Peter laughed at your never ending need to insult him before pulling you into a kiss. You wrapped your arms around his neck to keep him close. You could feel his gloved hands on the bare skin of your waist and shivered. When you pulled away, you kept your foreheads pressed together.

“I never thought it would be you.” You mumbled as you twirled one of his curls around your finger. “I never thought I’d fall in love with you.”

“It surprised me too.” He chuckled. “I’m glad this happened though. You weren’t just who I wanted to be. You were who I wanted to be with.”

“Promise me you’ll be careful.” You whispered. “I don’t ever want to get a call at three am telling me I need to come to the hospital. And I don’t want to start bringing three roses to the cemetery instead of two.”

“Hey, I’m not going anywhere.” He assured you as he held your face between his hands. He wiped your tears away with his gloves hands and kissed your nose. “I would never go anywhere where you couldn’t follow”.

“Ew.” You sniffled as you wiped your eyes.

“Why ew?” He chuckled.

“We’re gross.” You said. “We fell in love and now we’re gross.”

“It’s okay.” He smiled. “I like being gross with you.”

“I’m gonna throw up.” You gagged, making you both laugh.

“You’ll be okay.” He told you, and you believed him.

“Okay, now that we got that conversation out of the way, I have a lot of questions about all of this.” You said as you gestured to his suit.

“Ask me anything.” He said. “I’ll answer.”

“What did you wear before this?” You wondered. “I saw Spider-Man sightings on the news before 2016.”

Peter went to his closet and pulled out his original Spider-Man suit, the makeshift hoodie he used to wear.

“This. I made it myself.” He said as he handed it to you.

“No kidding.” You teased as you took it from him. “Did you sew this with your feet?”

“It was the best I could do.” He rolled his eyes. “I’m so lucky he made me a real suit. This one was not very protective.”

“Actually, I kind of like it.” You smiled as you held it up. It had bullet holes and tears everywhere. “It shows where you’ve been. And how far you’ve come.”

“I like your way of looking at it.” He smiled. “It’s yours, if you like it so much. I don’t need it anymore.”

“Why don’t you tell people that its you? This would make you famous. Like, Tony Stark famous.” You said as you put the hoodie on. “Don’t you want that? You know, since you’re such a loser at school.”

“Very funny”. He narrowed his eyes at you. “And no, actually. I’m safer this way. Plus, the bad guys can’t tell if I’m scared with the mask on. And it’s fun to have a secret. It gives me an edge.”

“Wow. I did not think me telling you I wanted to fuck the Winter Soldier would lead to all of this.” You poked fun at the situation.

“Me either but I’m glad it did.” He remarked. “I’m happy that you know. And I’m happy that you love me.”

“Well don’t make a big deal out of it.” You mumbled. “It’s embarrassing.”

“Don’t be embarrassed.” He laughed. “This is exciting. It’s all exciting.”

“We get it.” You teased as you wrapped your arms around his neck. “You’re an Avenger, I’m in love with you, yada yada. It’s not that big of a deal.”

“It’s the hugest deal.” He insisted. “I want you to meet them. Come meet my team.”

“You want me to meet the Avengers?” You gulped.

“Yeah. I’m supposed to stop by the tower later for a meeting. Why don’t you come with me? This is one of the rare days where everyone is in the tower.”

“Are you sure about this?” You asked him. “What if they don’t like me?”

“They probably won’t.” He said simply. “Since you’re so irritating and everything.”

“Shut up.” You shoved him playfully. “I’m serious. This is way more intimidating than meeting someone’s parents.”

“Don’t be scared. I’ll be holding your hand the entire time.” He said as he kissed your knuckles. “And they’re way less intimidating than they seem. I promise, you’ll be fine.”

“Okay.” You reluctantly agreed. “I’ll meet them. But if I see Bucket, I can’t promise I’ll be able to control my hormones.”

“It’s Bucky.” He corrected. “And I’ll know if you’re getting too, you know, hot and bothered.”

“How would you know?” You asked, and his face flushed.

“Well, one of the powers I got was super smell. I can smell when people are scared or happy or…” He trialed off, too much or a gentleman to say the word.

“Horny?” You asked with a dropped jaw. “You can smell when people are horny?”

“I prefer the term aroused.” He said sheepishly, making you laugh loudly.

“Oh my God. What a pervert.” You teased him.

“It’s not my fault!” He was flustered now. “I didn’t ask for this power.”

“Wait.” You realized. “Can you smell when I’m aroused?”

Peter didn’t answer, but his silence spoke volumes. Your jaw dropped as you playfully smacked him.

“You pervert!” You painfully scolded. “You could smell that and never told me?”

“It’s my my fault.” He whined. “Not all the time, anyway.”

“So when is it your fault?” You folded your arms and he gulped.

“It’s only my fault when I purposefully wear that one white shirt.” He said quietly. “Whenever I’m wearing it, I can always, you know...”

“Smell me?” You nearly screamed. “You wear that shirt just to get a rise out of me? You little slut.”

“I’m not a slut.” Peter laughed. “I could just smell how much you liked it, so I started wearing it more. And in the name of being honest, I can smell you right now.”

“Oh my God. You whore. You little minx.” You taunted playfully. “Using your body for attention like that. What a dirty little slut.”

“I’m not dirty or a slut.” Peter insisted. “You’re the one who gets worked up over a t shirt.”

“Excuse me?” You let out a shocked laugh. “Don’t turn this around on me, mister. I can’t control how I react to your erotic clothing. Especially when you’re the one who can’t even form a sentence around me when I wear that one red skirt.”

“Erotic?” He shot back. “It’s literally a $5 shirt from Target. It’s shapeless. And that skirt could not be shorter. I can literally see your ovaries in it.”

“You give it shape with your stupid spider muscles.” You said as you pointed an accusing finger at him.

“Oh my God.” He gasped. “You’re thinking about the shirt now, aren’t you?”

“No I’m not.” You said quickly.

“Really?” He cocked his head. “Smells like you are.”

Before you could respond, and you had a lot to say, Peter’s phone buzzed.

“It’s Mr. Stark.” He told you. “He said I should come now.”

“We’re finishing this conversation later.” You said as you grabbed your phone. “You’re still in trouble.”

“Whatever you say.” Peter chuckled as he lead you out the door. You thought you were going to the elevator, but Peter brought you to the staircase.

“I don’t walk there.” He said as he lead you up the stairs. He opened the door to the roof and gestured to the edge. “I swing.”

The next thing you knew, you were swinging towards the Avengers tower in Peter’s arms. You held on tightly to him as you tried not to scream in his ear. He was loving how he finally got to show someone what his life was like while you were fearing for your life. Finally, you landed on the balcony of the tower and Peter set you down.

“So?” He asked excitedly. “Did you have fun?”

“You tell me. Can’t you smell my excitement?” You jeered as you caught your breath. Peter knew you weren’t going to drop that for a long time. He took his mask off and lead you inside, not wanting to tell you that he could smell how scared you were.

Finally, he brought you to the conference room where the rest of the Avengers were. Their causal chatter came to a stop when you walked in together and all eyes were on you.

“Hey everyone.” Peter said shyly. “This is my girlfriend, Y/n. Shes gonna sit in on the meeting today.”

“Y/n?” Nat jumped in immediately. “The one who’s hair you used to stick gum in when you were little?”

“I thought Y/n was the girl who filled your locker with extra small condoms and the filmed you when they all fell out.” Sam chuckled, giving you an impressed smile.

“No, wait.” Bruce cut in. “I thought she was the one who started the rumor that Peter didn’t know how to swim.”

“You’re all wrong.” Steve sighed. “Y/n is the one Peter blamed losing the class pet on. Remember? The little rat escaped and he told the class it was her fault.”

“It was a hamster.” Peter cringed. “And it was my fault. Sorry about that.”

“I love you, but I will never forgive you for that.” You smiled softly as you stroked his cheek with your thumb. The team looked at each knowingly at this display of affection.

“Love?” Tony asked as he entered the room. “Are we talking about how much you all love me?”

Tony stopped in his tracks when he saw you standing there. You had forgotten to take off Peter’s original Spider-man hoodie, and it caught Tony off guard. He never thought he’d see that hoodie again, the one that brought him to Peter in the first place. The one he studied and tried to replicate when he made Peter a new suit. The corners of his mouth turned down as he appreciated how much Peter had grown.

“Oh. I see Peter brought a friend.” Tony remarked. “Please, make yourself at home in our top secret facility that no one unauthorized personnel is supposed to enter.”

“Mr. Stark, this is my girlfriend Y/n.” Peter introduced you. You held out your hand for Tony to shake, and he did so without taking his eyes off of you.

“Y/n?” He asked. “The one-“

“Yeah. Probably.” You nodded, making him laugh.

“Nice to meet you, Y/n.” He said as he straightened himself out. “You’re welcome to sit in on the meeting. But if you make any noise, you will be taken out by a sniper.”

“He’s kidding.” Peter whispered to you, but he wasn’t entirely sure. Peter took a seat and you sat on his lap, making him fight back a smile. He was now at an Avengers meeting with his former enemy sitting on his lap, wearing his clothes.

“Thank you, sir.” You smiled at him. “It’s nice to meet you too. All of you. I appreciate everything you guys have done for the world. You’re all really brave.”

“Your boyfriend is pretty brave too.” Steve commented. “He surprises me everytime we work together.”

“I was surprised too.” You agreed. “I didn’t think the biggest loser I knew was protecting Queens.”

Everyone raised their eyebrows at your subtle jab at Peter and it suddenly made sense why the girl he’d been complaint about all these years had the same name as his girlfriend.

“You let her talk to you like that?” Sam teased.

“She can say whatever she wants.” Peter shrugged. “And she does. Do you know how hard it is to get her to stop talking?”

“Not nearly as hard as it is to get you to clean up after yourself, put the toilet seat down, or show up on time for dates.” You replied with a cheery smile. Peter smiled back and took the loss, not wanting to get into it in front of his team. He turned back to Tony and gave him his full attention as the meeting began. You stayed quiet on Peter’s lap as the team discussed their next mission and who would be covering what territory. You made a small noise when Tony gave Peter his assignment, making everyone look at you.

“Whats the matter?” Peter asked as he bounced you a little on his knee.

“I just didn’t realize you were such an important part of the team.” You said. Peter had a big role that required a lot more responsibility than you thought he was capable of. He didn’t seem worried in the slightest, which told you he was used to this much responsibility. Something about Peter’s ambition and ability to take on Avenger level tasks for very appealing to you.

So appealing, in fact, that Peter noticed.

“Hm.” Peter said and he sniffed the air. You folded your lips in, knowing exactly what he was doing. The rest of the team had no idea what was happening, but you knew Peter was trying to get a rise out of you.

“What’s wrong?” Nat took the bait. You pinched Peter’s leg under the table as he took another loud whiff.

“Nothing.” Peter smirked. “It just smells funny in here.”

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[bxcketbarnes]

Love in the Workplace

fPairing: Gardener!Bucky Barnes x Receptionist!Reader

Words: 4900+

Author's Note: I thought of this idea while staying at our hotel in California and it's the cutest fucking thing in the world. I love this. I hope you guys enjoy it as well! Let me know your thoughts!

"Sarah, I don't need this at seven in the morning," you tell your friend while adjusting your bag on your shoulder. You slam your car door shut, your eyes looking towards the entrance of the hotel.

Your breath hitches in your throat at the sight of the new gardener. "What is it?" Sarah asks you and you clear your throat before tearing your gaze from the man.

"Uh, nothing. I finally see the gardener that the hotel hired," you mention while walking closer to the place. "I gotta go."

Sarah bids you goodbye after telling you to let her know if something happens between the two of you. You shove your phone into your pocket and walk past him, your eyes glancing over his shirtless chest.

His blue eyes meet yours and you give him a shy smile with a wave. "G'Morning," he greets.

"Morning. First day?" You ask the man and a laugh leaves his lips.

"That noticeable?"

You bring your bottom lip between your teeth and shake your head. "Not at all. Just the first time I've seen you. I usually work every morning," you laugh and he smiles down at you.

"I'm Bucky," the brunette introduces and holds out his metal hand. You eye it carefully before smiling up at him. "Sorry, if my arm makes you uncomfortable."

"Oh, no, no. It's a real cool looking arm," you reassure him and Bucky lets out a chuckle.

His blue eyes look down at his vibranium arm after you let go, bringing your hand back down by your side. "Well, thank you. That's the first time I've heard that," Bucky mentions and you bite the inside of your cheek. "Hey, do these hydrangeas look alright?"

You adjust the bag on your shoulder and walk closer to him, inspecting the plants he planted. "They look really good. I love the colors," you tell him, and Bucky smiles while nodding his head.

"Good. Wanna make a good first impression," he explains and you chuckle, laying a hand on his metal arm.

"I'm pretty sure you've already made one if they hired you. The bosses are strict about hiring people."

Bucky runs a hand through his sweaty hair, your eyes raking down his shirtless body. God, he's attractive. You turn your head towards the front door of the hotel before glancing down at your watch, seeing it was almost eight in the morning.

"Well, I would love to stay and chat longer, Buck, but I've got to start my day," you mention and start to walk away from him. "I'll see you around."

The blue-eyed man nods his head and waves slightly. "See you around, doll."

Steve's head picks up when you step through the lobby doors and you smile softly at him. "Morning, Steve," you greet while stepping behind the receptionist desk. "Busy night?"

The blonde shakes his head and stands up from his chair, allowing you to sit down in it. "Not at all. It was extremely dead," Steve laughs and runs a hand through his hair.

You're about to say something when Bucky walks into the building, your eyes dancing over towards him. "Hey, Steve," he greets before his blue eyes meet yours. "Y/N."

A small blush covers your cheeks and you provide a small wave before sitting in the seat. Steve looks down at you, a smirk coming to his lips and you raise a finger before he can say anything.

"Hush!" You laugh and Steve joins in, crossing his arms over his chest.

"I didn't even say anything!" He laughs and you look up at him, narrowing your eyes playfully.

"No, but the smirk on your lips said everything."

Steve gathers his stuff while shaking his head as you sign into the computer. A customer walks up to the counter and you greet them happily as the blonde leans in towards your ear.

"Bucky's a great guy and single if you're interested," he informs you while you're looking up the woman's information, a blush covering your cheek.

You swat at him and another laugh leaves your lips. "Get out of here!" Steve chuckles and raises his hands in defense before leaving the hotel lobby. "I'm so sorry about that."

The woman in front of you waves her hand before mumbling, "it's alright."

"Gotta have fun on the job, am I right?" She grins and you nod your head in agreement, a smile coming to your lips.

-

Two Months Later...

"Tony, I really appreciate you allowing me to stay here until my gas leak gets fixed," you mention to your manager as the man fixes up a room key for you.

The older man smiles down at you and rests a hand on your shoulder. "Kid, I'd do anything for you. You've been with this hotel for years and you're so kind. I couldn't even bring myself to say no," he chuckles and you smile up at him.

"You guys are like my family and I appreciate everything you've done for me," you tell him while Tony hands you the key.

Tony ruffles your hair a bit before walking back towards his office. "Oh, I put you next to Barnes in case you have questions. Plus, I figured you enjoy a familiar face," he winks and you let out a groan.

Of course, he put me next to Bucky. Smug bastard. You gently bite your lip while heading towards the elevator, pressing the button to call it. "Way to be so obvious about your feelings, Y/N," you say to yourself with a sigh, running a hand through your hair.

"Are you talking about your crush on Bucky?" A familiar voice asks you and you jump, placing a hand on your chest before glancing to your left.

Steve and Natasha stand in the archway where the two elevators sit, smirks on both of their lips. "Jesus, you two," you groan as they walk over to you. "What are you doing here?"

Nat ruffles her hair a bit before glancing towards Steve. "Steve and I are going on a date. I'm picking him up," she mentions and a gasp leaves your lips.

"No fucking way?!" Your eyes dance between the two of them and Steve's cheeks blush a bit. "That's incredible. I've only been shipping it for almost six months."

The three of you let out a chuckle before Steve pipes up. "Yeah, well, when are you going to ask out Bucky?"

The laughter dies on your lips and you bring your lip between your teeth. "Shut up," you scoff while rolling your eyes. "I'm not going to ask him out because he doesn't feel that way about me."

Both Steve and Natasha give you a look before the redhead rubs her hands along her face. "Sweetheart, that boy is crushing on you just as hard as you are for him," she mentions and your cheeks flush.

"Go enjoy your date," you tell them before pressing the button to the elevator once more.

The door opens immediately and you step inside, giving your friends one last grin. You press the floor your room is on and watch the elevator doors close before letting out a deep breath.

You adjust your grip on your suitcase and pile out of the elevator when it opens back up. You run into someone, muttering out a quick apology before glancing up at the person. Your breath hitches in your throat as Bucky stands in front of you, his bare torso staring you in the face.

"Bucky," you breathe out and the blue-eyed man glances down at you, "h-hi."

"Hey, doll," Bucky smiles and the two of you stand in the middle of the elevator door.

You swallow thickly as your eyes flicker from his eyes to his chest. "S-Sorry, let me just-" you cut yourself off and move around him, your shoulder brushing against his arm.

"Are you staying here?" The man questions and you look down towards your luggage before nodding your head.

"I, uh, yeah. My apartment has a gas leak, so Tony's letting me stay here for a week or so."

Bucky wets his lips and adjusts the towel in his hands. "I'm going down to the pool for a little bit… would you- would you want to join me?" He asks and your heart beats quickly in your chest.

"Y-Yeah. Yeah, I'll be down in about five minutes," you stutter and give the man a shy smile.

He bites his lip for a few seconds before standing in the elevator, keeping his eyes on you. "Great. I'll see you in a few," Bucky says while the elevator doors shut.

"Yeah…" you trail off as your cheeks blush heavily.

You continue making your way to your hotel room, silently hyping yourself up with each step. You place the keycard into the slot before pushing your way into the room. You set your suitcase onto the bed and open it before grabbing your bikini.

After changing into your swimsuit, you grab a towel from the bathroom along with your keycard before making your way back downstairs. You chew on your bottom lip while walking towards the pool area, seeing Bucky sitting in the hot tub.

You insert your key and open the gate, giving the blue-eyed man a small wave. You set your stuff down beside his before heading towards him. You adjust your red top as Bucky's eyes look you up and down.

"Cute top," he mumbles while draping his arms across the edge of the spa.

"Thank you," you chuckle shyly and sits down across from him. "So, how come you're staying here?"

Bucky lets out a laugh and moves his hands through the bubbly water before rubbing his face. "Well, my ex broke up with me a week ago and I happened to be living in her apartment. Tony let me stay here until I can get my own place," he explains and you frown slightly.

"Oh, I'm sorry," you apologize and Bucky shakes his head, mumbling that it was alright. "But, it was nice of Tony to let you stay here until you're on your feet."

"Yeah, it was. Which room are you in?"

A blush dusts your cheeks and you tuck a strand of hair behind your ear. "I'm next door to you. Tony thought it'd be nice to have a familiar face beside me," you laugh awkwardly while looking away from him.

Bucky smirks at you while wiggling his eyebrows. "This'll be fun. We'll be great neighbors," he grins and you roll your eyes playfully while standing up from your seat.

"Shut up," you tell him with a laugh and Bucky watches you step out of the hot tub.

You feel his eyes on you as you walk closer to the steps of the pool, making eye contact with him as you descend into the cool water. Bucky suddenly gets up and makes his way into the pool, jumping in immediately and you release a quiet squeal.

Bucky swims up to you and you take a couple of steps back as he resurfaces. "Well, that was quite rude," you joke and the man suddenly shakes his head, rouge water droplets hitting you. "Bucky! That's cold!"

He hums in response and splashes you playfully. "Oh, come on, it's warm!"

"It's not!" You squeal some more and take a couple of more steps back. Bucky walks closer to you, reaching his hands out before capturing you in his grasp.

His arms wrap around your waist and Bucky holes you against his chest while carrying you into the deeper area of the pool. You wrap your arms around his neck, your chest pressed against the man's face.

"Well, I can die happy now," Bucky jokes and you smack the back of his head, rolling your eyes at him again.

"You're such a guy," you laugh, attempting to get out of his grasp. "Can you put me down now?"

The blue-eyed man looks up at you through his lashes, your breath hitching in his throat as the pool lights shine on his face. "I quite like you like this," he whispers, and your heart pounds against your chest, feeling your cheeks heat up.

Bucky brings a hand to your face and his fingers graze against your cheek. Your eyes flutter shut while resting your forehead against his. He moves his fingers into your hair, gripping softly while slowly reducing the distance between your lips.

Your lips brush against his when a loud voice calls out to both of you. "Hey! The pool's closed!"

The brunette sighs, feeling his breath fanning your lips before pulling away from you. "Sam, it's just us!" Bucky yells and you glance towards the gate to see the man standing on the other side of it.

"Oh, hey guys!" Sam greets with a smile before opening the gate to the pool. "What are you two doin' out here so late?"

"Just hanging out," you tell him while prying yourself out of Bucky’s grasp. "I need to get going anyway. G'Night, Buck."

"Goodnight, Y/N," he mumbles and watches you walk out of the pool. Sam bids you goodnight as you gather your things before heading into the hotel. "Dude, what the fuck!?"

Bucky moves to smack Sam, causing the younger guy to wince away from him. "What?! She said you guys were hanging out! You're too chickenshit to do anything anyway!"

A sigh leaves his lips and Bucky runs a hand over his face. "Well, I'll have you know that we were just about to kiss," he explains while pushing himself out of the water.

"Oh, shit. Sorry, dude," Sam apologizes and Bucky shakes his head. "Go get her! Don't let me stop you."

The brunette wets his lips before nodding his head, quickly gathering his things before running inside. Bucky finds himself standing outside of her door, bringing his hand up to the wooden structure before knocking loud enough for her to hear.

"Y/N? Y/N?" Bucky calls out and rests his forehead against the door. "Goddamn it."

The door in front of him suddenly opens and Bucky catches himself before falling into your room. "Bucky?" You laugh, placing a hand on his shoulder while your other hand keeps the towel wrapped around you. "What are you doing here?"

His blue eyes widen at the sight of you, feeling his cheeks flush. "I, uh-" he cuts himself off as Bucky begins to rub the back of his neck. "I just wanna say sorry… for uh, what happened in the pool."

You furrow your eyebrows in confusion while leaning against the doorframe. "For what?" You ask him and Bucky's Adam's apple bobs in his throat.

"Just… uh, just in case I made you uncomfortable," Bucky explains and you chuckle softly, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear.

"You didn't make me uncomfortable, Bucky," you giggle and the man lets out a small sigh, nodding his head in reply.

You bite your lip gently as you watch the man in front of you, tapping your fingers against the frame. "Good, good. I'll let you get back to whatever you're doing," he mentions and you nod once before Bucky walks away from you.

"Goodnight, Bucky!" You call out to him, seeing the man give you a small wave before he walks into his hotel room.

Bucky rests his head against the door, a sigh leaving his lips while he quietly curses. He runs his metal hand through his hair when his phone begins to vibrate. Sam's name is flashed across the screen and the man picks it up before answering immediately.

"So?! How'd it go?!" Sam asks and Bucky groans in response, moving to sit on the edge of the bed.

"I- I panicked," he mentions and Sam laughs loudly. "Shut up, Sam."

It takes a minute before Sam finally stops laughing. "I told you that you're too chickenshit, Buck," he reminds Bucky and the blue-eyed man rolls his eyes.

"You know… I hate you," Bucky says before hanging up the phone, tossing it beside him.

-

"So, how did last night go?" Steve suddenly asks you. Natasha smacks his chest and the man lets out a deep yelp. "What?! We were both wondering!"

You look from Steve to Natasha, your eyebrows furrowed in confusion as you step behind the reception desk. "It was good? I didn't do much so I don't know why you two are asking," you mention while stuffing your work bag in the little compartment.

"Well, we happen to have watched the camera footage of you and Buck in the pool," Natasha explains and your cheeks blush, a groan leaving your lips.

"Oh, fuck off. Of course, that's why y'all are nosy," you sigh while rolling your eyes. "Nothing happened."

Steve gives you a look and you cross your arms over your chest. "Come on. You have to be lying," he argues.

A laugh leaves your lips and you lean back in your chair before crossing your legs over one another. "It's the truth. If Sam didn't interrupt then something might've happened," you smirk and the two run a hand over their faces.

"Fucking Sam," Natasha mutters and leans down to press a kiss on Steve's cheek. "I have to go, but I'll see you later."

You smile at the two, finding them to be extremely adorable together. "I take it that the date went well?" You chuckle and Steve nods his head grazing his fingers along Natasha's hip.

"Very well, thank you," Nat grins and places a hand on your shoulder before walking around the desk. "Now it's your turn. Go after Barnes."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," you laugh while shooing the woman away. The phone on your desk begins to ring and you pick it up. "Hello, how can I help?"

You can hear a bunch of kids yelling in the background before a woman starts talking. "Hi, yes, I would like to file a complaint on your gardener," she says and your lips part slightly, allowing her to continue, "he's standing outside our window in nothing but a pair of shorts and we don't need our children seeing that."

"I totally understand, ma'am," you mumble while rolling your eyes at how ridiculous she sounds. "Here's what I'll do. I'll head out and politely ask him to put his shirt on, okay?"

"I would love that. Thank you so much," the woman states, not giving you a chance to say anything else before hanging up the phone.

You blink a few times, thinking about the interaction that just happened. "What in the fuck?" You ask yourself out loud, Steve humming in response to you. 

"What?"

"I- This woman called and was complaining that Bucky's not wearing a fucking shirt. It's like ninety-five degrees out," you sigh while pushing yourself off of the chair.

Steve lets out a laugh while resting his hand over his chest. You roll your eyes playfully as the blonde practically dies of laughter. "Oh my god, you're serious? What the hell," he breathes out.

"You're telling me. I'll be right back. Gotta tell him to put his shirt on," you inform him while starting to walk out the hotel doors.

You tuck a strand behind your ear as you make your way around the building, looking for Bucky. You round the corner and see him planting some flowers, the man is sitting on his knees while wiping the sweat off his forehead.

"Hey, Buck," you greet him and he whips his head towards you, a smile coming to his lips.

"Hiya, doll. What do I owe the pleasure?" Bucky laughs and you glance up to see the woman who called the front desk staring at the two of you.

Bucky looks up at you again after not hearing anything, seeing your eyes looking above you. "Uhm, she called the front desk and complained about you working without a shirt on," you explain to him.

"You're joking?" He asks and you shake your head, crossing your arms over your chest. "It's fucking hot out here. Does she expect me to wear a shirt?"

"Well, I told her I would come out here and politely ask you to put it on," you sigh and Bucky cranes his neck, his own sigh leaving his lips. "Just keep it on until you leave this area, please? I really don't want to have to file a complaint about this. She's just being ridiculous."

"Okay, I will," Bucky mentions while grabbing the shirt that sits on the sidewalk, throwing it over his head. You give him a small smile and pat his chest before starting to walk back towards the entrance. "Hey, Y/N?"

You stop in your tracks and glance over your shoulder, seeing a smile on the man's lips. "Yeah?" You ask softly and Bucky walks over to you, his blue eyes casting down at you.

"Are… Do you want to do something tonight?" He asks and you can feel your cheeks heat up. "If you're up for it anyway."

A smile comes to your lips as you tangle your fingers, walking closer to him. "I can see if I can free up my schedule," you joke with a playful wink, causing the man to laugh in response.

Bucky wets his lips and rests his hands on his hips before shaking his head. "Well, if it does you know where to find me," he grins.

You hum while pressing your lips together, feeling your heart fluttering in your chest. "I'll see you around, Buck. Stay hydrated."

That night, you're swimming on your back while staring up at the stars, seeing an occasional plane coming in for a landing every so often. The sound of the gate opening captures your attention and you move your head in the direction of the noise.

"Hey, stranger," Bucky grins while setting his towel down beside yours.

A laugh escapes your lips as you swim towards the corner of the pool before leaning your arms on the warm concrete. "Hiya," you smile up at him, watching the blue-eyed God whisk his shirt off.

Bucky walks over to you before lowering himself into the water, splashing you slightly. "You weren't bothered by that woman anymore were you?" He asks you and you raise an eyebrow.

"Buck, I think I should be the one to ask you that," you laugh and the man wets his lips, shrugging his shoulders in response. "But, to answer your question, no."

"That's good. She was definitely a bitch," he mentions and you scoff, nodding your head in agreement.

You press your back against the curved wall, your body facing Bucky's as his large hands brush along your legs. "I don't get her problem. I totally wouldn't mind a very attractive man working outside my window," you tell him, causing Bucky to glance towards you.

"Oh?" He draws out and your cheeks heat up, realizing what you had just said. "So, you think I'm attractive?"

"I-" you cut yourself off as Bucky's hands grip your legs before swiftly pulling you closer to him. You let out a squeal and rest your hands on his shoulders, Bucky guiding your legs so they're wrapped around his waist.

You can feel your heart pounding against your chest as both of your faces are inches apart. You swallow thickly as Bucky looks up at you through his lashes. "Answer the question, doll," he whispers, feeling his fingers glide up the back of your thighs.

You lick your lips before biting it gently, your fingers moving to card through his hair. "I… I might think you're attractive," you tell him softly while adjusting your position on him.

Bucky grins widely and leans against the wall of the pool, fingers inching closer to your ass. "Good news is that I might find you attractive as well," he mutters and your heart flutters.

"You do?" You whisper and Bucky nods his head in response. The blue-eyed man brings his face closer to yours, your breath hitching when your noses brush against one another's.

Butterflies soar around your stomach when his lips connect with yours, your fingers gripping his hair gently. Your free hand rests on his cheek as you kiss him back. Bucky pulls away from you after a minute or so, resting his forehead on yours.

"You're so breathtaking," he whispers before pressing a few more kisses to your lips. You let out a few giggles while Bucky wraps his arms around your waist, twirling you around the pool. "Do you wanna get dinner tomorrow night?"

"Of course I do," you tell him and kiss the tip of his nose. "Do you want to go out or just have dinner in one of our rooms?"

Bucky brings one of his hands to your face, stroking your cheek before pulling you in again. A short moan escapes your lips as he kisses you passionately, your nails digging slightly into his shoulders.

"I want to take you out, doll," he mutters against your lips and your cheeks blush. Bucky trails his lips up your jaw, a shudder running down your spine when he whispers into your ear. "You can get all dressed up and I can bring you to your favorite restaurant."

Your grip on him tightens as he continues to play out your date. You swallow thickly when Bucky's lips move down your neck, nipping at your skin softly. "B-Bucky…" you trail off and the man pulls away from you before looking up at you. "If you keep going I'm not gonna want you to stop."

Bucky pokes his tongue out, wetting his lips before reducing the distance between your faces once again. A loud crash stops the two of you from kissing, both your heads snapping in the direction of the noise.

"Goddamn it, Steve," you hear Natasha scold the tall blonde and you roll your eyes.

Of course. You think to yourself while detaching yourself from Bucky. "Hey, assholes!" You call out with a chuckle and the two of them suddenly stand up, their heads poking over the top of the fence. "Enjoy the show?"

"We did until someone fell over," Nat mumbles as you make your way out of the pool, Bucky following closely behind you.

You wrap your towel around your body, shaking your head at the two of them. "Well, glad you enjoyed the show. If you'll excuse us," you laugh and grab Bucky's hand, leading him away from the pool area.

"Use protection!" Natasha calls out and your cheeks flush, feeling Bucky's fingers lace with yours.

"I'm sorry about them," you apologize while glancing back at the brunette, seeing a stupid grin on his lips.

Bucky shakes his head and catches up to you, dropping your hand before wrapping his arm around your shoulder. "It's alright, doll. I know how Steve can be," he chuckles while you wrap your arm around his waist.

-

A knock on your door wakes you up, a small groan leaving your lips as the sun shines directly into your room. You shield your eyes before looking around the room, seeing the television still on from last night.

"Y/N? Are you awake?" Sam's voice comes through the door and you rub your eyes while throwing the blankets off of you.

You quickly grab your sleep shorts off of the floor, pulling them up before making your way towards the door. "What's going on?" You ask in a groggy tone, looking up at the man in front of you.

Sam chuckles and notices the shirt you're wearing. "Do you know where Bucky is?" He asks and you furrow your brows, glancing towards his door and Sam speaks up before you have the chance to. "He's not in there. Already tried."

"I-" you cut yourself off and shake your head, not remembering if he works today or not. "I have no idea."

Your friend smirks down at you and reaches out towards your shirt. "Well, this is Bucky's shirt. Maybe he's in your room?" Sam assumes and your cheeks heat up while your eyes snap down towards your clothes.

You are indeed wearing Bucky's shirt and you desperately try to remember what happened after the two of you left the pool. Your fingers comb through your hair as you glance back into the room.

"Well, look, if you see him just tell him that I'm looking for him, okay?" Sam mentions and you nod your head.

You close the door after Sam walks away and steps back into the bedroom area. Your heart pounds against your chest as you see Bucky sleeping on the left side of your bed.

The blue-eyed man shifts his sleeping position as you crawl onto the bed, gently running your fingers up his spine. "Buck?" You whisper loud enough for him to hear and he lets out a groan in response.

A chuckle leaves your lips as he turns his head towards you, his eyes opening a bit. "Yeah?" He mutters huskily, causing your heart to flutter at the sound.

"What are you still doing here?" You wet your lips as Bucky turns onto his back, his metal hand resting on his stomach.

"I must've fallen asleep," Bucky mentions and runs his flesh hand through his hair. "Sorry about that."

You shake your head and grab his metal hand, playing with his fingers. "It's quite alright, actually," you grin and Bucky does as well, dropping his hand onto your thigh. "It's been a while since I've cuddled with a man."

Bucky hums and drags his thumb across your inner thigh. "Yeah, me too. Well, with a woman… not a man," he snorts and you let out a loud laugh, covering your mouth with your hand.

"You're fucking ridiculous," you giggle while shaking your head.

"Yeah, well, you love it," Bucky grins and you softly bite your bottom lip.

"That I do, Bucky, that I do."

-

Taglist: @jessalyn-jpeg​ @queen-of-mischief​ @bumblebet-20​ @thewxntersoldier​

[fortuositywritings]

Collide pt 2

Wanda x R

Summary: Trying to do the right thing gets very awkward and complicated.

The elevator was taking its sweet time to get to the 87th floor. It’s like it knows you are anxious and annoyed and oh yeah, naked.

“Come on!”

Bruce is annoyed. He’s been running tests on tests and has come up empty.

“It’s okay, Bruce,” Wanda tries to calm him down, seeing the irritation on his face. She knows the feeling all too well. For crying out loud, these tests with no real results are being run on her. She’s grateful to have people who care so much, like Bruce who is simply mad he can’t give her an answer for why her powers basically seem to have vanished. 

“It’s not okay, Wanda. We don’t have the slightest idea why this is happening. I mean, your magic gone, just like that. It doesn’t make any sense,” he sighs. Then he straightens out his posture and gives her a determined smile. “But don’t worry. We’ll run more tests and we’ll figure this out. For now, why don’t we take a break. We’ll continue tomorrow.”

She returns his smile but less enthusiastically. Truth be told, she’s been kind of enjoying not having her powers. Don’t get her wrong, of course it is worrying not having them and she needs them to get back to doing her job, but for once in a very long time, she felt relaxed almost. 

Her powers are incredible and amazing, but what’s not so amazing is the weight she carried because of them. These last three months, she felt unburdened. She felt lighter, but she couldn’t tell her teammates that, not when they’re doing all they can to help her get them back.

Her powers are important to have for the team. She knows that. It’s why she sucks it up and is doing everything she can to get them back. People count on her. 

She hops off the stool and makes her way to the elevator. She notices Bruce isn’t following behind her. “Are you coming?”

“I’m just going to clean up here. I’ll meet you down in a few,” he replies. Wanda goes to press the button for the elevator. The doors open not two seconds after. 

“That was fast,” she mumbles. She steps into the cart and waves goodbye to Bruce. “See you.”

The elevator’s doors close. You gulp nervously. This could have worked out better for you but you got what you wanted. You came to see Wanda and here she was in the elevator with you. Maybe you should wait to talk to her when you find some clothes. You hope wherever she’s going has something for you to cover up with. 

Happy with your decision to pretend you’re not even there, you stay quiet and keep to the corner. Suddenly the elevator stops. 

“Shit,” Wanda says exactly what you were thinking. She begins pressing buttons trying to get the elevator to go but it’s of no use. She uses the emergency call button. 

“Hello, this is Wanda Maximoff. The elevator seems to be stuck,” she says into the intercom. 

“Yes, Miss Maximoff. The elevators have been stopped for security purposes, but do not worry, they are taking care of the situation. The elevators should be operational in just a few minutes,” the voice over the intercom says. 

If you weren’t so nervous, you could laugh at the situation. They’re taking care of the situation all right. Here you are, the situation, in the elevator with Wanda Maximoff. You hope this doesn’t take too long. You’re feeling very uncomfortable in the state you’re in, especially enclosed in such a small space with someone else. 

Five minutes go by and nothing happens. Wanda has been playing games on her phone to distract herself. You’ve been standing in the corner, hands covering yourself even though technically you’re invisible. It made you feel more decent in a way. 

Wanda’s game chimes and she celebrates winning whatever level of whatever game she’s playing. You smile, finding it cute. She’s been trying to pass that level this whole time. 

Before she can get into the next level, her phone rings. Natasha is calling her. She’s been made aware of the situation and is passing the information to Wanda. “There’s been a security breach. Some girl was asking for you saying it was urgent and forcibly made her way into the building. They still haven’t found her. Where are you?”

Wanda frowns. “I’m stuck in the elevator. They stopped them.”

“Okay, I’ll get yours to work. I’ll wait for you on the 71st,” Nat says.

“Okay,” Wanda responds. Nat rushes, “Oh, and Wanda be careful. She seems to have powers like yours.”

Wanda wants to ask about that but Nat hangs up before she has the chance. Wanda chews on her bottom lip as do you. Both of you are anxious. Your heart is beating out of its chest right now. You do your best not to let your breathing get out of control. You couldn’t have Wanda hear you. 

The elevator begins to move and you stupidly let out a sigh in relief at the same time Wanda does. You pray she didn’t hear it and thinks it was all her. For a moment you think someone heard your prayers, but you are oh so wrong. 

When the elevator stops at the 71st floor, you follow Wanda out the elevator. Unknown to you, she did hear your sigh from before and just needed to reassure herself she wasn’t hearing things. She keeps her ears attentive and when you follow her out, she hears the scuffle of your feet behind her. 

In a quick move, she grabs you and flips you over. Suddenly, she’s got you pinned down and in your shock, you don’t realize you let up on the invisibility. You look at Wanda in shock and fear, thinking she’s about to punch you in the face or something. She looks at you in shock, your face suddenly becoming visible. Natasha is in shock as well, wondering what the hell she’s looking at.

“Please don’t hurt me! I can explain!” you beg. 

“You! The one from the grocery store,” Wanda recalls. 

“Yes! You remember me?” you ask, surprised she would recognize your face after one interaction.

“Who is the naked lady on my floor?” The three of you turn to see Tony Stark walk up to you snacking on some food.

“Hi, I’m Y/N,” you greet him with an awkward smile and cheeks bright red. “I’m going to turn invisible now. Please don’t freak out.”

Wanda looks down and freaks out. She’s about to get off of you but Nat yells at her to stay put.

“She’s naked!” Wanda argues, but stays on you. 

“She’s invisible. We can’t have her leave without us knowing,” Nat reasons. 

“I won’t leave,” you promise. “I’ll show myself but I would appreciate some clothes.”

“Stop talking!” Wanda demands, glaring at you. She thinks she’s glaring at you but you are invisible so she can’t know for sure if she’s looking you in the eyes. 

“Who are you yelling at?” Bruce makes his way out of the elevator car that no one noticed arrived. 

“Me. Hi, I’m Y/N,” you blurt out, making Bruce jump, obviously not having seen you. 

“Who said that?” he asks, looking around the room trying to find you. 

“Down here. Under Wanda,” your voice appears again. Wanda tightens her grip on you.

“I thought I told you to stop talking. It’s unsettling,” she explains. 

“Well, so is being naked in front of all of you, so,” you retort. Bruce looks shocked but he finally pinpoints your voice where you said you were. 

“Can someone please get her some clothes?” Wanda asks for you, finally. “This is not a position I thought I’d find myself in today and would really like to get off.”

“Not the first time I heard that,” you joke trying to alleviate the tension. You think you do, making both Tony Stark and the redhead in the room snort. Wanda blushes. Bruce comes to the rescue, taking off his lab coat and laying it next to Wanda, assuming you are there to grab it. 

It looks odd, watching the lab coat move seemingly on its own. Wanda gets off of you as you put it on and finally reveal yourself after securing it around your body.

“Who are you?” The redhead asks, narrowing her eyes at you. Her tone means serious business.

Finding her intimidating, you try to reassure her, “I’m no one. I don’t mean any harm. I promise.”

“Who cleared you? Why are you here?” She continues her questions.

“No one. I made my way past security. I really needed to see Wanda. I have something that belongs to you,” you direct the last part at Wanda. 

“And this was so important you made your snuck into my building? How did you do that, by the way? Turning invisible. Neat trick,” Tony comments.

“They wouldn’t let me in. I’ve been trying to get someone to let me see her for the past week. I’m sorry for the dramatics but it can’t wait another day,” you explain. “You’re probably having trouble with accessing your abilities, right?”

“How do you know that?” Suddenly everyone is on the offense. You shouldn’t know that, not even the media is guessing that’s what was going on with Wanda and her not being on missions. 

“Tony, you have to see this! Someone has abilities like Wanda and they’re in the building,” Captain Steve Rogers rushes into the room with a tablet in his hand. The security tape of you blasting the guard off his feet with red magic plays on the tablet for everyone to see. Steve notices the stranger in the room. “It’s you!”

Everyone turns from looking at the tablet to looking at you in confusion. Everyone but Wanda who looks upset. 

“I can explain,” you try but Wanda cuts you off, stepping right in front of you, pointing a finger in your face. “You stole my powers!”

“I didn’t steal your powers. It’s not that simple.”

“Then explain how my powers seemed to have disappeared when we met and now there’s a video of you using my abilities,” Wanda demands.

“I-I mean, may-maybe it is that simple,” you stutter. 

She moves forward almost as if to attack you. Steve is on her in a millisecond, holding her back as you put your arms out in defense. You rush to explain, “But I didn’t mean to. It’s just something that happens when I touch people with special abilities.”

“What do you mean? Do you mean to say that you can take anyone’s abilities away? How many abilities do you have? Is there a limit to how many you can hold? If so, how many and can you choose which you keep?” Bruce Banner throws a slew of questions at you that you can’t really process while there is an angry Sokovian ready to throw hands with you.

“I’m just here to return them to you,” you say, trying to calm her down. That trips her anger. Everyone and her look at you confused once more. Wanda asks, “You can do that?”

“It’s what I’ve been trying to do all week, but no one would let me see you,” you sigh in frustration. 

Steve feels Wanda relax at the new information and lets her go. He also notices that because you moved your arms up when Wanda was going for you, you released your grip around the lab coat and were now exposed again. He clears his throat and looks away, “Miss, the coat.”

You look at him confused and then realize he’s referring to the lab coat you’re wearing. You and Wanda both look at it and then blush. You quickly wrap yourself up again. 

“Oh my god, can someone please get, what’s your name?” the redhead in the room inquires and continues once you stutter out your name, “Wanda can you please lend Y/N some clothes? We’ll wait for you on 87. I’ll inform security that the problem has been dealt with.”

It isn’t really a request, both you and Wanda know this. Wanda tells you to follow her and she leads you to what you assume is her bedroom. It’s pretty nice. You note that she keeps it tidy. 

“Here, these will fit.” She leaves you sweats, a hoodie, socks, and some sandals on the bed. “You can change in the restroom.”

She points at a door on the other side of the room. You smile awkwardly in appreciation and head over to change. While Wanda waits for you to come out, she tries to understand everything that has happened and everything that you told her. 

If you are to be trusted and it’s true what you said, including not doing this on purpose, then she supposes she owes you an apology. Are you to be trusted though? This would be so much easier if she had her powers. Then she would be able to figure it out in a wink.

Her powers made things so much easier but also they were a pain in the ass. She is grateful for them of course. She knows all the good she does and could do with them, but sometimes they were too much and she didn’t realize this until she was without them. 

It was odd being without them. She had grown accustomed to them. They were a part of her now and not having them was weird but it wasn’t uncomfortable. It was just different and for a moment she felt lighter. The only real stress of not having them was wondering what happened to them, but now here they are.

You have come to return them to her. She should feel relieved, right?

You step out of the restroom in her clothes. You thank her, “I’ll give them back once I get my clothes back. You don’t happen to have a ‘lost and found’ in the building, do you?”

“I don’t know. I’ll ask Steve or Nat,” she replies. After an awkward moment of standing there, neither of you speaking, you break the silence, “So, should we go now?”

Wanda hesitates to lead you out, so you assume there’s something else she wants to say. You wait. “Before we do, I owe you an apology. I shouldn’t have gone off on you like that when all you were trying to do is help.”

You smile and nod. “Yeah, that was scary, but I understand. It’s a weird situation to be in, but luckily we have everything cleared up and soon you’ll have your powers and you can get back to doing what you do.”

“Yes, lucky me,” she mutters, unconvincingly. She doesn’t know why, but going back to the regular schedule seems daunting. 

She finds you staring at her oddly. It makes her uncomfortable so she makes her way towards the door, motioning for you to follow. You make conversation on your way to the lab. 

“My friend loved the meal by the way. Thank you for all the helpful tips. It was delicious, if I do say so myself,” you tell her, using her phrasing when she described Sokovian meals. She smiles, catching it as well.

“I told you so,” she says, chuckling as you both wait for the elevator to reach the 87th floor. She thinks back to that day and based on what you said earlier, she asks you, “So is that how it happened? When we touched hands? That was how you got my powers?”

“Yep.”

“And to get them back, we do the same thing?” she ponders. “It’s that simple.”

“Yeah. It’s simple and annoying,” you complain. “I graze anyone’s skin and if by chance they can do something no regular person can, suddenly they can’t and I’m the one who can do it, but the most annoying part is when I don’t know who they come from since I have to touch them again to give their powers back.”

“That does sound frustrating,” Wanda agrees. 

“No, what’s frustrating is when they won’t take their powers back,” you whine. “And then I’m stuck with them.”

“What do you mean? Can’t you just touch them and give them back?” 

“They have to want their powers back for me to return them. It’s actually how I got the invisibility one. They couldn’t really control it at the time and I guess they got tired of it, so when they had the opportunity, they didn’t want it back. Those were weird first months with that power. Floating clothes spooks a lot of people. Luckily, a little practice and I could do this on command.”

You show her the way you could turn invisible. She looks startled so you appear again and apologize. “Sorry, I guess it’s still scary to people.”

“No, it’s cool. It just surprised me,” she reassures you. You give her a grateful smile in return. 

“Why did it take so long for you to find me?” Wanda asks and it is a reasonable question seeing as you can turn on the news station and probably find her easily. 

“Sorry about that. Truth is, I don’t follow the Avengers and what they do, so I had no idea who you were. I actually staked out the grocery store for weeks hoping I would catch you there,” you admit. 

“They didn’t kick you out for loitering?” Wanda giggles and then lets out a full laugh when you say, “Actually, they almost made me employee of the month, despite not working there.”

A ring in the elevator signals that you have arrived on the 87th floor. Wanda leads the way through the lab. 

“There they are,” Bruce announces your presence. He motions both of you front and center of the group. “So, how does this work?”

“I just touch her and give them back,” you shrug. “It’s not too complicated.”

“Okay, then,” Bruce accepts your answer. 

You hold out your hand for Wanda to take. “Ready?”

She nods her head and places her hand in yours. You smile, giving her hand a squeeze before letting go.

“That’s it?” Tony asks. You turn to him and nod. “Well, that was anti-climactic.”

“Alright, Wanda. Why don’t you go ahead and try to use your powers now,” Steve inputs more helpfully. 

You all direct your attention to Wanda who shakes herself in preparation to show off her powers. She holds her hands up and clenches and unclenches her hands into fists repeatedly. 

“Any time now,” the redhead whose name you assume is Nat hurries Wanda along. 

Wanda begins to shake her head. “I’m trying. It’s not working.”

“Maybe Y/N still has them,” Steve says. You turn your hand over and sure enough you do still have them, a red energy forming in your hand.

“That doesn’t make any sense. It should be working.” You make the energy dissipate and move towards Wanda again. You grab her hand for longer than before. Then you release her and she tries again without any success. You still have them. 

“Are you sure you’re doing it right?” Bruce asks. “Has this ever happened before?”

“Yes, I’m doing it like I always do. There shouldn’t be any reason why it doesn’t work,” you insist. The only reason why it wouldn’t be working is if the other person… You look at Wanda’s face and she wears a guilty expression on her face but something else catches your attention. A very loud thought from the woman in front of you makes its way to your head.

Please don’t say anything. 

The thought is followed by her looking right into your eyes, practically begging you to keep quiet. So you do. 

“I don’t know what’s wrong. This hasn’t happened before,” you lie for her. You turn your head to look at Bruce and shake your head hoping to convince him. You feel Wanda’s hand on your forearm, giving you a gentle squeeze. 

Thank you.

Now what are you supposed to do?

________________________________________________________

taglist: @dandelions4us @sapphic-girl 

let me know if i missed anyone in the taglist or if you wish to be on it

thank you for reading :)

[cinnamonest]

//some horrendous gaslighting

I love my stranger-to-noncon very much but I don't give enough attention to consensual relationships taking a turn for the worse, or utterly toxic and abusive boyfriends and Kaeya is the perfect candidate for that so here we go.

-----

I've mentioned before the Kaeya would be exceptionally violent in comparison to other yanderes, but it's important to note that he's also among the most emotionally sensitive, and those two things do not go together well.

Not sensitive outwardly, of course, he's spent years developing that personality of his as a defense mechanism, can easily pretend he doesn't care about anything, but deep down that abandonment complex and those insecurities are strong and easily triggered. Some of the ways it manifests are mild, like how he gets overly attached to you within a week of knowing you, commits and tries to move way too fast even in completely mutual and consensual relationships. The kind of guy that suggests moving in together a week into the relationship, and dropping I love you so early on that you're left to merely blink in surprise because you barely know each other, but under the pressure and awkwardness you find yourself stuttering out a reciprocation, even though it's quite untrue. Guilt-trips and pressures his way into fucking you within a couple of days.

He's a very different person behind closed doors, it comes out maybe a month in when he lets the walls drop and lets himself trust you. He's more vulnerable, sweeter. Oddly... Eager to trust. It's like he desperately wants someone he can latch onto and show some vulnerability around and chose you to be that someone.

But also different in other ways. More... Bitter. More grumpy. More immature.

He's not sensitive in general, he doesn't really care about what most people say or do, but that sensitivity comes out once he's attached to a person, which happens rather quickly. You start noticing it rather quickly in a mutual relationship, and it likely shocks you honestly that he's so... immature. You spend the day with one of your friends -- just one, catch up with them, haven't seen them in a while... and when you get home things are rather quiet. He's usually a very talkative person, so you can't figure out what's wrong. Maybe something bad happened, but he insists no, it's fine. There's nothing wrong. And then you catch the last part, much quieter, spoken under his breath in that lighthearted tone he speaks in, yet with a bitterness to it.

You wouldn't care anyway, you're too busy with your friends.

It takes you by surprise at first because holy shit, really? It seems so petulant that it can't possibly be real, but... Maybe he really did have a bad day and is just getting his anger out by directing it at the first thing he can. That's not right, but hey, everyone has weak moments where they do some bad things. Besides, you weren't there for him, so he feels worse right? Still, you spent every day the past month except this one day with him... No, it's just poor timing, that's all.

Until it happens again. And again. And he swears he likes your friends, smiles at them, but it... Looks forced. Always complaining that you spend so much time with them and completely ignore him. Do you even care? Do you value the relationship at all? You try to not get angry and be rational, but still defend yourself because you spend almost all of your time with him don't you? You can't get much out before he just huffs and stomps away, rolls his eyes (well, you assume he rolls both of them, you can't tell but-- nevermind, not the point) and gives you a cold shoulder. Until you apologize, then it's like the switch has flipped back on, there's love and smiles and warmth and hugs again.

It starts to get on your nerves. You start to wonder if maybe this isn't healthy for you, if maybe you should end things, but you decide to give him another chance, right? We all make mistakes. He's under a lot of stress. Just... It'll be fine.

And the first time it gets physical he swears it's an accident. It leaves an ugly scar. You're going out because come on, it's my family, I haven't seen them in forever.

It just happens, he explains, it's unintentional, emotions get channeled through the vision like that. Comforts you as you sit on the ground crying and clutching your arm that he grabbed as you walked out the door, skin darkened and purplish from the freeze that's seared through a layer of your skin. He sighs and says he's sorry, really, he feels horrible already, so don't get mad, ok? He already feels terrible enough... Don't be mean. He didn't mean it. Don't be mean. Don't be fucking mean about it, stop fucking crying. You're making him feel worse.

He seems genuinely sorry, you tell yourself. It's not his fault. You can't blame him. It's ok.

It's harder to excuse the next time it gets physical. Maybe freezing last time was unintentional, and maybe it hurt, but you weren't terrified like this. A hand around your throat is different.

But can you blame him? You were threatening to leave. Honestly, you weren't approaching it healthily, you weren't trying to actually have a serious talk, you were trying to guilt him and gaslight him and it's honestly emotionally abusive, you know? You're the one in the wrong here. How selfish and cruel. How can you do that and not even feel guilty?

It makes you rethink. It makes you question your own sanity. And it makes you apologize. Makes you say you didn't mean it. You find yourself feeling dizzy, disoriented, like everything isn't real and everything is too much. You try to sleep it off.

And he doesn't like delving into the past. He tries to avoid it. Tries to not think about it. Doesn't even really tell you anything until nearly a year in, a drunken confession of sadness and misery. It makes you feel guilty somehow. Poor thing. He's been through a lot, you tell yourself. Maybe you should be more patient and understanding, help him work through it. You can fix him, per se, can't you? Sure, people say that never works, but... He just needs love, really, it's not like he's that bad.

He hates bringing it up like this even more. It just feels weak and vulnerable but it comes out anyway. You're threatening him again, and honestly, that's a sickening thing to do considering what you know, how can you be so vicious?

You're just like everyone else, aren't you?

You're just going to abandon him like this was nothing. You don't care at all. You're heartless. Ungrateful. He's done so much for you. And this is how you repay him, huh? Disappointing, honestly. He thought you were special. Kind. Understanding. Didn't realize you were just as cruel as everyone else in his life, aren't you?

He just has this way of making you doubt yourself. You pull at your hair and cry. I'm going insane. You keep the thought to yourself, but you fall to your knees and promise you're really sorry this time. He sighs. Fine, he'll give you another chance. He's a patient man. You just need to work on yourself, become a less toxic person.

But apparently that's not enough, and eventually you get dumped.

It comes as a surprise. But he says he's had enough of you being so emotionally manipulative and neglectful. You hardly ever spend time with him (like, only 29 days a month? Unbelievable!). You cry and try to make him feel bad, when the things he does aren't that bad. You always claim to be too tired to fuck. You try to gaslight him into thinking all that's acceptable. It's toxic and abusive, so, he's done.

You find yourself in shock. Confusion. It feels unreal. The first thing you worry about is if you can even find a new boyfriend... Your body is completely littered in freeze-burn scars by now, after all.

Were you really in the wrong? You're not too experienced in relationships, maybe he's right about everything he said... Maybe you really did him wrong...

Which is why you come crawling back. Crying. Apologizing.

Exactly as planned.

So he sighs and agrees. Fine. You can have another chance.

The second time, the third time, he always forgives you and takes you back. Even though you don't deserve it. He just loves you so much, you know? He keeps forgiving you.

Until one day you don't show up.

When you leave that time, you seem almost angry. You don't cry this time. Your hands ball into fists and for once, for the first time, as you storm out, you say--

Fine.

Unusual, but you were always moody like that. Odd choice of words. No matter, it's not like you're actually fine with it, you'll come crawling back any minute now.

It's already been several hours. Why aren't you at his doorstep already? Did he make you feel that bad? Maybe he went too far... You're probably just at home crying or something. You'll come back by tomorrow morning.

You don't.

Ok. Maybe you feel too guilty. Maybe you're reflecting on how awful you've been. That would take some time to get over, since you've done so many bad things. It won't be long before you come back.

A day passes. Two days pass.

What's taking you so long?

He finally swallows his pride. Maybe you're being stubborn. Trying to make him feel bad. Yeah, that's something you'd do. Or maybe you're trying to make him feel all alone, take advantage of the one thing you know bothers him. How mean. But he loves you. You know that. So you'll appreciate it when he checks on you, apologizes for maybe going too far, and he really loves you, he loves you so much, so how about you two just go home and forget this ever happened and have lots and lots of makeup sex and cuddle? And then you can tell him you're sorry and love him too and promise to stay forever? He's already got the speech practiced a few times in his head walking over to your place, the one you haven't really lived in for a while now since he demanded you basically move in with him. All your clothes and stuff are at his place now. You would have taken that with you if you ever actually intended to leave, so clearly this is a ploy to get him to come to you, as if that wasn't already obvious.

Your eyes narrow when you open the door and your face contorts with anger. And you snarl that you've had enough. He wants you gone so much, fine, you're more than happy to oblige, you say. You're done. You don't even need your shit, keep it, you'd rather lose your stuff than set foot in that place again. You finally came to your senses and you're fucking done.

You say nasty things. You say he made your life a living hell and you're happy to be rid of him.

And then you say something worse. Something that sets something deep inside off. Something that feels like a stab to the gut.

You say if you'd known the truth about him you would have kicked him out a long time ago.

Maybe it's not about the same thing. Not meant the same way. But it feels too familiar nonetheless.

You see him freeze up. He just stands still for a moment. Not saying anything. Face blank and empty. His eye twitches.

You couldn't care less. Besides, you already have a new boyfriend, one that's nice to you, you tell him with a prideful spite in your voice. One that doesn't have fucking issues. You're not a therapist, you say, and you tell him to figure out his problems on his own, and you slam the door in his face.

Or, you try to. He catches the door before it can close with one hand. Grabs your arm with the other.

For once he doesn't say anything, not until you make him. Just grabs you, drags you down the street by your shirt. It nearly chokes you, but you manage to start to scream. He slams your back into the nearest building, grabs your shoulders and says to shut the fuck up or I'll break your fucking arms. You go wide eyed and scared tears run down you're face. You're scaring me, you plead. Let me go.

But he doesn't. You figure maybe you can talk sense into him when you get there. You don't realize how far gone he is, you don't think that this might be the last time you set foot outside, the last time you see the sun not through a window. You don't think any of the things you'll wish you had down the road.

You've had rough sex before. Not quite like this, though. You can't breathe. You kick and wheeze and cry and claw at the hand around your throat and desperately gasp for what little air you can get in. He only lets go when you black out, lets you take a few breaths, then does it again. You're still so tight. New boyfriend must not have measured up, huh. It's raw and dry and it hurts. You whimper and you cry and you finally apologize like you should have days ago.

And yet, most importantly, you cum. See? You love him. So say it. Say it already. Come on. You do, you stutter, it's quiet and scared, but he smiles nonetheless.

It's ok. He knows you're sorry. He knows you didn't mean those awful things you said. You would never actually abandon him. You're different. Different. Special. Not like everyone else. You won't leave. You won't just leave him somewhere and disappear, you won't die out of nowhere, you won't kick him aside and leave him alone, you're the only person who won't. Different. That's why he loves you so much. You would never do any of that.

You just need help. You're so emotional, you're really not emotionally stable. Controlled by your wildly changing emotions. They make you say things you don't mean. Do things you don't really intend to do. Things you'll just regret if he didn't intervene and help you.

They make you vulnerable to other people. You're so easily controlled. You believe what they want you to believe. And that's dangerous. That could lead you to try to leave again. That's why you have to be helped. Kept away from becoming victim to your own impulses. The only way to do that is keeping you locked away. You'll come to understand with time. Appreciate it. Thank him.

You'll appreciate it because you're different. You'll never leave. You would never leave him even if you had the opportunity.

But maybe it's for the best that you don't have that opportunity to begin with.

[ashasmonsters]

The Thru-Hiker

Female reader x Male mothperson (Desmond)

Citrus rating: Lemon

Content: Full-on smut, references to unhappy breakups

Words: 5.1k

Note: Here's the story that earns me the "18+" in my description. This is my first time making anything this smutty public, so any feedback or criticism would be appreciated. Enjoy!

You raised the viewfinder to your eye. The rolling hills fit within the frame-lines neatly, the trail before you leading straight down the middle and towards the horizon. With a satisfying click the shutter fired. You lowered the camera and cranked the film advance lever, confident that shot would turn out well. You let the camera dangle from your shoulder once again as you looked around: this spot was close enough to the main trail that you wouldn't need any "breadcrumbs" to lead you back to it in the morning. The sun would finish setting in an hour or so, and bird chirps had given way to trilling crickets and cicadas. It was warm enough that you didn't need to build a fire. Your stove would do just fine.

"That's a nice camera."

You turned towards the voice. Standing behind you, closer to the main trail and obscured slightly by foliage, loomed a lanky mothman. He wore clothes appropriate for hiking the Appalachian trail, though you hadn't seen him around. This meant he was quick or hiking the opposite direction as you.

"Thanks." You answered. He pushed a few low-hanging twigs out of the way and took a step towards you.

"Is that a..." he paused, his brow furrowing above his red compound eyes as he searched for a word, "Yashica, right?"

"Mamiya, actually." You answered, hefting the brick-shaped camera from your hip where it dangled. "It's been a pain to hike with, but I love it all the same."

"I'm sure you've got some excellent shots in that thing. I'm Desmond." He closed the remaining distance and tenderly extended a chitinous claw. You shook it in turn and returned his greeting.

"I don't believe I've seen you on the trail, Desmond," you said, "are you using those wings or hiking southbound?"

"Oh, I'm hiking southbound. Flying would defeat the purpose, wouldn't it?"

"I guess that is a silly question." You lowered your eyes and made eye contact with his hiking boots. "I'm heading northbound."

"Hm. You must have started the trail pretty recently."

"That's right. I started maybe three weeks ago. You must be pretty close to finishing if you're going southbound."

"Been on the trail for five months." He answered.

"Wow." You breathed. Maybe mothmen wore it better, but he certainly looked neat for having lived in the wilderness for almost half a year. You caught yourself staring. "Um, got any tips for a relatively fresh hiker like me?"

"Take your time and enjoy yourself." He said, looking down at you. "The trail is going to take the better part of a year from you no matter what, so there's no point in rushing it."

"Thanks for the advice." A pause. You saw your reflection in his ruby eyes. "Anyway... I don't want to keep you from the trail, being nocturnal and all." You failed to suppress a tinge of longing in your voice. The sun started to kiss the horizon, making the canopy above you look like it was on fire.

"Well, actually..." Desmond rested a claw on the back of his neck fluff, "I was going to ask if you would share this spot with me. It's going to be a full moon and I planned to take a rest to enjoy it."

"Oh," you said, glad the sunset was masking your blush, "that should be fine, then."

"I don't want to impose, I could always find my own—"

"No, really, it's fine." You said, gesturing around the sizeable clearing. "We're sharing a view, not a cot. I don't mind."

"Ah, right." He played with his neck fluff again. "Well then, let's not waste the daylight." You nodded and slid your pack off.

Your sleeping arrangements for the trail had been spartan, but still comfortable. You carried a thin foam pad which rolled up nicely and fit under your sleeping bag, a tarp with hooks for hanging from above, a camp stove, and a sack to keep your food strung up a branch and away from animals.

All of this was set up fairly quickly since Desmond was helping you. He was quite tall, which made stringing up the extra food much easier than when you had done it alone. In no time, your foam pad was safely encircled by your hanging tarp and your stove was boiling a pot of water. Tonight's dinner was an Appalachian Trail classic: dehydrated cheesy rice. You took the initiative to invoke full-on luxury by adding a handful of equally dehydrated broccoli florets. You had a guest to entertain, after all.

"Thanks for making me breakfast. Dinner, in your case." Desmond said. The dim blue light from the camp stove caught only the very edges of his chitinous frame. His red eyes shone bright like a cat's through the steam from the culinary masterpiece cooking between you two.

"Consider it my treat." You smiled back. There was a pause, so you pulled a topic from the air. "Are you a photographer too? Not many people can tell apart the brands of these old things." You patted your Mamiya camera as if it were a tiny metal lapdog.

"Ah, no," He said, almost defensively, "if you have compound eyes like me, you can't really look through viewfinders. It just doesn't work."

"Right, sorry." You rubbed the back of your neck. "Where does your camera knowledge come from, then?"

"Well... you know the old mothpeople stereotype about how we like light?"

"Um." You spoke carefully. "I have heard of it."

"I kinda live up to that stereotype. Like, very much. It's why I wanted to stop here to watch the full moon."

"Okay, but how does that tie into cameras?"

"It's kind of embarrassing." He fidgeted with his long white neck fuzz. "It's the flash. When it goes off, it's like... like..."

"Like a drug?" You finished for him.

"No! Not like that. It's not addictive... I don't think. It's more like... what's that thing humans do with their nails and their skin?"

"Like scratching an itch?"

"Yes! Exactly." He said excitedly. "I don't itch, but if I did, I imagined it would feel like when a camera flash goes off."

You chuckled even though you knew he was a little embarrassed. This whole situation was just too absurd, too odd.

"So you're like a connoisseur of camera flashes." A pause. He lowered his gaze.

"Mamiyas have the best one." You chuckled again.

"Well, then." You pulled your camera from your bag and held it before you. "May I take your portrait?"

"If it's no trouble," his antennae perked up, "yes please."

Wrestling the camera into shooting position, you flipped the viewfinder open and aimed it squarely at him. The scene fit perfectly within the frame-lines; the glowing blue stove flames in the foreground and Desmond's red eyes neatly in the middle.

"Looks good to me." You said, pressing the flash release. The flash, a piece of metal the size of your thumb, sprung out of the camera and whined as the battery charged it.

"Oh, wow." He noted. You pressed the shutter—

"Goddamn!" Desmond cried, shuddering. Briefly, a low chirr seemed to emanate from him. "Pardon my French. That was good."

"I'm glad you enjoyed it. Most people hate when I ask to take their portrait." You cranked the film advance lever and smiled. You returned your camera to its place in your bag, then... remembered there was a meal on the stove. "Crap, I hope the bottom isn't burning." You said, quickly grabbing the stirring spoon and scraping the bottom of the pot. You continued until you were sure the food was in good shape.

"You know, when I thought about making this trek, I was worried about getting lonely. Like I wouldn't be able to put up with just myself for so long... but I've already met so many people and they've all been kind." You continued stirring the meal.

"Then what made you consider it in the first place?" Desmond asked, cocking an antenna.

"Oh... you know... adventure." You lied. The resulting pause made you painfully aware of how bad of a liar you are. The cheesy rice bubbled and spat steam at you as if heckling your poor performance.

"I'd believe that if you had a fedora and a whip. And knew where the holy grail was." He chuckled, his mandibles clicking.

"What?"

"Ah, just a stupid joke. There's these old movies..." He cut himself off and extended an empty claw, taking the spoon from you and making it his turn to stir. "I don't want to tell you your business, but everybody I've met in the past five months comes to the trail to run from something."

"Well... you're right that it's definitely my business." You tried not to scowl. The turn in conversation had resurrected an unpleasant feeling in your heart; something in the same neighborhood as shame or sadness.

"Not if what you're running from is the law and you're a serial killer or something. Then that's definitely my business." He clicked once more. His attempt to lighten the conversation didn't help that feeling much. The cheesy rice heckled him this time.

"I'm not a serial killer, I promise." You started, drawing in a sharp breath. Perhaps you just needed to vent. Maybe that would ease this malaise. "Why don't you start? Tell me what you're running from first, then I'll tell you about me." You took the stirring spoon back from him. He ran a claw down his face.

"I'm running from a breakup. We dated for three years." He sighed.

"I'm... sorry." You said, unsure of what else to say.

"Don't apologize; not unless you're the girl she ran off with." His mandibles clicked weakly. "I'm kidding. She didn't run off or anything. She didn't even cheat. She just realized that men weren't for her."

You raised an eyebrow. "Three whole years?"

"It didn't take her that long to realize it, just that long to work up the courage to tell me. Maybe I wasn't her true love, but she cared about me a lot. She was so scared of hurting me that she bottled it up for most of that time."

"You didn't want to remain friends?"

"I did— and I still do. I... I just said three things: 'I need some time to process this,' 'I'm in a lot of pain but it's not your fault,' and 'I'm going hiking for six months, call me back when I'm done.' That's all I could think of in the moment, and now I'm here."

"That's rough."

"You're telling me." His shoulders dropped. "I'm used to breakups with jerks. That I can make peace with, because then it's like a problem that solves itself. Jerk breaks up with you, therefore no more jerk to deal with. But... when it's someone that you love, that you want the best for, and that means they have to move on... that's something I'm still trying to work out." He sighed hard and lowered his crimson eyes. "I think the rice is done."

You were so caught up in his pained explanation that you lost track of time. You quickly turned off the camp stove and set the pot on the ground.

"Thanks for reminding me." You grabbed your enamel bowl as he readied his and started dishing out the rice and broccoli. You both sat there in silence, enjoying the feeling of hot food in hand. "Anyway, I guess it's my turn to share."

"Please. I wouldn't want to dump my problems on you without hearing out yours."

"I had a breakup too, though honestly I think mine wasn't as rough as yours." You said.

"We all go through different things. It's not a contest." Desmond said, idly poking his steaming meal. "Tell me about it, if you want."

So you did. Over the course of the meal, you told Desmond all about your past relationship: the fights you had with your ex, the nights spent in separate sleeping arrangements, the endless worry over how much of it was your fault. He nodded sympathetically with each painful memory you unraveled to him. Remembering it all made you feel worse, but having him listen made it feel much better. When you had no more to say, he stared at you. You saw yourself reflected in his eyes. Your spoon was trembling.

"It's okay to cry. I won't mind." Was all Desmond said before you had to set down your food and hold your face in your hands. It's like you had been saving up a surplus of tears throughout all these events and just barely they were escaping you. You could hear Desmond awkwardly scoot over in the dirt to your side before he offered a rigid shoulder to you.

"Chitin isn't exactly memory foam, but..." You rested your head on him without a second thought. One of his claws found its way to your shoulder and you felt better for it. This was the first time you had mentioned your breakup out loud and unquestionably the first time anyone had offered you a shoulder to cry on, literally or figuratively.  You quickly came to find even Desmond's exoskeleton quite comfortable.

"Thanks for listening." You said as your sobs started to slow. He plainly chirred in response, making his grip on your shoulder a little tighter. His embrace was the first one you had felt since the breakup. You felt warm and safe in a way you had previously only had with your ex long ago. His neck fluff tickled you as he leaned his head onto yours.

"It's okay." You could feel his mandibles nudge your cheek as he spoke. "I know how hard it is." Your composure returned, and you stilled yourself against him. You finally removed your hands from your face, your eyes bloodshot.

"I'm glad I'm not wearing makeup." You chuckled weakly. "Otherwise my cheeks would look like a barcode right now."

"That's the spirit. Enjoy the little things." He rubbed your shoulder. "That's what the trail is all about."

You found yourself naturally holding Desmond closer, burying yourself in his neck fluff and wrapping an arm around his side as he held you. He smelled like pine and smoke. You grabbed your bowl of food once more and resumed eating, not leaving Desmond's side.

"I'm sorry for smearing my tears all over you." You said, coming back to reality. The taste of rehydrated cheesy rice wasn't great, but it was warm and familiar. Combined with Desmond's arm wrapped around you, the pain and baggage from the breakup left you like grime after a shower.

"It's alright." He said. "If moths could cry, I'd be crying all over you too. We're in the same shitty breakup boat."

He and you sat there together, finishing the meal. The camp stove had been turned off for a while now, and the only warmth you felt was your own, reflected off his chitin. The pause was permeated by lesser insects chirping and wind gently rustling the branches above. As you finished your food, you became painfully aware that Desmond couldn't hold you forever. He'd have to get in his sleeping bag eventually, and in the morning, continue his hike to nowhere other than your distant memories. Or, maybe...

"Want to share my sleeping bag with me?" The words left your mouth before you could even react. A second later, you realized what you had said and your heart raced. Your face found itself hidden in your hands again.

Why the fuck would you say that? Are you crazy? How would you feel if he randomly propositioned you for sex, huh? To which your responded to yourself with, Screw it, I'd be down for that.

Oh well. The fact he'd leave forever in the morning was both a blessing and a curse... but for now, mostly a blessing. It didn't matter if you were "rebounding" or doing something impulsive. Whatever happened tonight would stay in tonight. You and him would go your separate ways and there wouldn't be any regrets to be had. You practically held your breath as he processed what you said; the pause felt infinitely long.

"I'd love to." He broke the silence, his mandibles clicking more than usual. "Unless you're having second thoughts."

You looked up at him and shook your head. Wordlessly, he took your hand stood up with you. You led him to your dangling tarp wherein your sleeping bag and foam pad rested. Luxurious it was not, but as you slapped aside the flap and pulled Desmond in behind you, little else other than him was on your mind. You sat down on your "bed" and turned round, looking at him. His saucer-sized red eyes glowed as they met your gaze. He stepped closer.

"You're sure?" He said, kneeling before you. "I don't want to—"

You leaned forward and grabbed his head, clumsily planting a kiss where his mouth would be if he was human. It seemed to do the trick; he gasped and relaxed, his mandibles caressing your cheeks. You pulled back to breathe.

"I'm not asking you to marry me." You planted another kiss on him, tugging on his neck fluff. "I'm asking you to keep me company tonight."

"If you insist." He clicked. Something in his tone changed. For the first time his voice had timbre and need. He had left his tone suited for polite conversation and jokes outside your tarp. Here on your twin-sized foam pad, all pretenses were gone. You both knew you were going to give yourselves to each other; yet he surprised you by tugging the neck of your shirt down and scattering little kisses from your chin to your collarbone with his proboscis. It was rough and leathery and frankly didn't feel like anything you had touched before. You shuddered when he took it with him, descending past your breasts and peeling your shirt off your belly.

"Desmond..." You sighed, the only thing keeping this encounter casual being the button on your jeans.

"Everything alright so far?" He looked up at you with his large eyes, his mandibles brushing against your thigh as he spoke.

"Excellent." You breathed, resting a hand on the back of his neck fluff. "Please..." You used the same hand to ever-so-gently nudge him closer to your midst, which was already roiling with burning need. With a single claw, he carefully undid the button and zipper. You shimmied out of your jeans until his neck fluff  tickled the inside of your exposed thighs; your underwear soon followed. He clicked some more as you fully exposed your entrance to him, his eyes studying you and his claws gently finding their way to each of your legs.

"Forgive me, it's been a while." He said as he lowered his face into you. You reclined further, only gazing upwards to the tarp and a tiny patch of starry sky.

"Don't talk, just— Ah!" He pulled a gasp from you as he began his ministrations. With your head resting on the foam pad, you just closed your eyes and let the sensations fill you. Something of his, you weren't quite sure what, playfully danced around the edges of your entrance until it found its mark. It gently flicked across that tender nub and your hips bucked in response. You held his neck plumage tighter, desperately tugging him closer to you.

"Keep going, that's— oh, that's perfect..." He didn't resist your pull. If anything, as his fuzz tickled you and his mandibles started to prod at your folds he increased his fervor. Relentlessly he played across all parts of you at once. Hard chitinous mandibles spread you open while his proboscis felt like it was everywhere. It rubbed your bead with every advance it made into you, filling you with a tingling warmth that spread throughout your whole body. He didn't let up at all, your breath hitching and leaving you as moans. You rocked your hips and whined. Harder and harder, rhythmically to a rapidly increasing tempo. You gripped him tighter, burying his face into you. Ecstasy built within your core with each surge of his "tongue" until you could hold on no longer.

"Oh, oh!" You cried, your body seizing and legs locking around his shoulders. Pleasure crackled around your whole body and there, in the dark with Desmond wordlessly working you, you weren't sure how much time you spent at the peak. Slowly, the sparks behind your eyes stopped flying. Your breath resumed its normal rhythm. Lifting your head off your sleeping bag, you made eye contact with his glowing red orbs, the only source of light under your tarp.

"How did I do?" He chittered, his grin smug enough for you to sense even in the darkness.

"You were fantastic." You indulged him, running your hand through his fuzz as he crawled over top of you. He pressed his forehead to yours.

"I didn't tire you out, did I?" He asked before descending upon you and kissing you lightly. With the gap between you two closed, you felt something tumescent and twitching under his shorts brush against you.

"I suppose I can stay up some more." You giggled as his fuzz tickled your collarbone. "I'll just sleep in."

"Glad to hear it." Desmond rasped. His voice grew ragged as he nipped at your neck, cradling your chin in one claw and using the other to undo his shorts. In the darkness, you could only feel something slick, smooth, and long come to rest on your belly. You squeezed your thighs around it. Desmond immediately chirred louder than before, sounding like a baritone version of the insects outside. His deep timbre resonated inside you.

"Excited?" You teased, his length completely at your mercy as you held it between your legs.

"I've forgotten how warm humans feel." He rumbled.

"Can I jog your memory?"

"Please."

You released him from your thighs and reached down with a hand. You felt the entirety of his length in your grasp; it was delightfully slick and uniform with pleasant little ridges to encounter as your hand traveled towards his base. You grasped it gently, eliciting more bassy chitters from him as you angled it towards your entrance. You fumbled a bit in the darkness, but after a few tries his tip rested at your threshold. His eyes met yours.

"Ready?" He clicked.

"Go ahead." You gripped his shoulders and pulled him close, nestling your face in his fluff as he started entering you. His hips slowly began to close the distance, each ridge on his length pushing a squeak out of you. His pace was deliciously slow. You had just enough time to adjust but not to catch your breath. All you could do was hold him tight in the darkness, nothing but the sensation and his chirring to occupy your mind. It felt like an eternity of slowly being filled by him. Eventually, cool chitin met your wet bundle of nerves, sending electric pleasure up your spine and forcing a gasp out of you.

"That's all of it." He grunted, his body completely flush with yours. "Do you feel alright?"

"Give me a moment." you said, exhaling sharply. The sensation of fullness with him hilted completely within you took your breath away. Little moans escaped you as his shaft quivered inside your depths. Embracing him, you found a steady breathing rhythm once more. "Okay, you can move."

With only chitters in response, he buried his head in the nape of your neck, his mandibles poking and prodding as he peppered you with kisses. His hardness withdrew just as slowly as when he entered you, then returned with a steady tempo. Each time his hips rocked you moaned into his fuzz. You imagined if you and Desmond had met at a different time or a different place, you'd be voicing your pleasures into a pillow. Since he had started his rhythmic thrusts, Desmond held a low, purring chirr that surged each time his pelvis met yours.

He chittered something specific, completely forgoing English as he picked up speed. He released your shoulders from his grasp. Changing position, he now kneeled upright with his knees on either side of your rear and his claws firmly gripping your thighs. The new leverage and angle made you squeal. He pumped in earnest now, both the speed and impact making you moan with nothing to stifle your voice.

"Desmond!" You cried, one hand splayed above your head and the other reaching down to hold your sensitive bead, "Keep going!" His pace remained constant. The low chirr grew into a growl. He pounded over and over, his hips slamming into your ass. As if it took considerable effort, he wrestled his chitters back into grunting speech you could understand.

"Close," he said sharply, "getting close!" You decided against speaking, instead locking your ankles behind him and rubbing your nub feverishly to meet him at the brink. His pace quickened even more. His claws squeezed your thighs as he desperately held onto you— into you, his thrusts remaining deeper inside you as they mounted in strength. His chirring returned, ascending in volume and pitch into a strangled, desperate call. His gaze snapped skyward and his back arched and he desperately pulled at your entire body in an effort to seat himself as deep within you as he could. You cried out in time with him. Your voice reached its limits. You rubbed yourself with abandon as you felt his cock fire within you with great trembling pulses. The pleasure within you mounted, growing until it erupted with a crackling warmth that left you quivering and crying out. He held himself as deep as he could go, grinding his hips into yours. Hissing, he lowered himself upon you once more and kissed you hard. You wailed into his mandibles as you rode out your peak. His hard chitin ground into your nub and held you at your limit before his rolling hips finally relented. Still, but remaining deep within you, he broke away from the kiss. You caught your breath as your eyes locked.

"Goodness..." You panted. Your face burned. Streaks of cool wetness rolled from your eyes down your cheeks. Desmond's chirring slowed into nothingness. The only sounds left were your breathing and nature outside.

"Are you okay?" He asked, his usual tone returning slowly.

"I'm great, Desmond," You smiled, "but you managed to tire me out this time." He clicked, then slowly withdrew his softening length from your sensitive core. You felt something ooze out of you, but were too exhausted to do anything about it.

"Sleep, please." He said, stroking your hair with a claw. "I'll be right here. Don't worry about anything else."

When morning arrived, the hole in the roof of your tarp acted as a skylight. You had awoken fortuitously just before the golden beam would have shone burning rays straight into your eyes. You definitely slept in, but found yourself fully clothed. You expected to feel something regretfully sticky and wet in your underwear, but you were completely clean. For a moment, you considered that last night might have been a dream. That line of thought was cut short by the sound of boiling water and the smell of coffee creeping into your tarp.

You emerged to find Desmond sitting in front of a small fire, emptying granules of instant coffee into a pot.

"Coffee?" He offered. "It'll be done in a bit."

"Thank you, Desmond." You sat in the same spot as you did last night over dinner. The silence that followed was comfortable and warm, unlike last night's awkward pauses. You watched him shake the pot with a claw as the sun warmed you. "I guess I should also thank you for, um, cleaning me up. I kinda passed out on you there. Sorry."

"No, no. It's fine. I'm nocturnal, remember?" He looked up at you and grinned. "It felt good to take care of a sleeping human again. It reminded me of old times." His grin softened into a gentle smile. The instant coffee had fully dissolved and he pulled the pot from the fire. He filled, then offered you an enamel mug which you accepted. The aroma was cheap and comforting.

"I'm going to miss you." You held the mug tightly. You didn't meet his eyes as you spoke, instead staring into the coffee as if it would tell you what to do.

"Me too." Desmond responded.

"Could we... could you..." You searched for the best way to ask. "Would you want to be with me?" Desmond released a slow chitter. He shook his head, and his soft smile shifted further into a shallow frown.

"I'm sorry." He said softly. "I wouldn't feel comfortable whisking you away three weeks after your breakup. Hell, I'm five months out from my own and I'm still not sure about where I am emotionally." You nodded in response. The coffee in your hands cooled in the resulting silence.

"I guess this is where we part ways, then." You sighed.

"Maybe..." He finally met your gaze. "You're hiking northbound. That means you'll finish in what, five more months?"

"Four if I hurry."

"The trail ends in Maine. There's this tiny, tiny town up there." He mused. "When you finish the trail, look for me around town. I'll be there. If you still want to be with me... then we could pursue a relationship like normal people. Coffee dates and stuff. If not... well, I'll buy you lunch."

"Is that another one of your movie references?" You chuckled. His plan sounded like something straight out of a cheesy rom-com.

"I'm serious." He explained. "My mom lives up there, and I've got nowhere else to be in four to five months."

"How am I supposed to find you?"

"I'm pretty sure the town population is in the double digits, and I'm definitely sure that me and my mom are the only mothpeople there." You considered his offer. It was all you had to look forward to, really.

"Let's shake on it." You extended a hand to him over the dying embers. He reached out to meet you, but then suddenly paused. "What's wrong?" You asked, a pang of fear striking you.

"I have one condition: when you inevitably run into my mom, our story has to be something other than, 'we met up on the trail and had sex after an embarrassingly short conversation and a camera flash,' okay?" You burst into laughter, as did he. He took your hand in his claw and shook enthusiastically.

"We have a deal." You answered. "Don't worry, I'll come up with something good."

"You better. You've got four-to-five months to craft it." He clicked. You smiled.

When you both finished your coffee, you gave him a hug and enjoyed the feeling of his neck fuzz on your cheek one last time. The fire had gone out, you packed up your tarp and sleeping bag, and you took a few steps north on the trail. You stopped soon after and turned, watching him go. He disappeared into the foliage. Sighing, you resumed your hike. To pass the time you talked to yourself.

"Ah, so nice to meet you, Mrs. Moth-mom. Yes, of course, we met at a pottery class."

No! Stupid.

"We were flying kites in the park, and ours got tangled up together—"

Now you sound like you're referencing sappy rom-coms.

You sighed. At least you'd have a while to come up with something convincing.

[miyagihawk]

for hawk

lover of mine - 5sos

it's a selfship anthem, bby!

the lyrics make so much sense

i love 5sos!!!! ty for the request :)

lover of mine | eli “hawk” moskowitz x reader

warnings: cursing, i think that’s it?

summary: based on lover of mine by 5sos <3

Lover of mine

Maybe we'll take some time

Kaleidoscope mind

Gets in the way

Your relationship with Hawk was more complicated than most.

You had to be patient with him. His mind was like a kaleidoscope; his thoughts were in intricate patterns that you could never comprehend. It amazed you, but it also frustrated you when you couldn’t understand him.

And when it seemed like you finally did understand, he would shift into new colors and you’d have to start all over again.

“I just- I don’t get you, Hawk! Why are you always lying to me?” you said loudly, already feeling exhausted from the argument.

“I’m not! You just never believe me!” he turned it on you. Like always.

You looked at him with a hard stare and crossed your arms. “Did you or did you not break Demetri’s arm?” you asked in a calmer, but still threatening tone.

You already knew the answer; everyone was talking about what happened in the laser tag room. But here Hawk was, denying it. You just couldn’t grasp why he hid so much from you.

When he stayed silent with his gaze not meeting yours, you sat on your bed with an exasperated sigh.“We should take a break,” you interrupted the quiet atmosphere, looking up at where your boyfriend stood in front of you.

“What?” Hawk finally met your eyes with a hurt expression.

You patted the spot on the bed next to you, and he sat reluctantly. “I’m just tired. We need a break Hawk.”

“We don’t need a break,” he protested quietly, and the subtle sadness in his voice was enough to make your heart pang with hurt.

Hope and I pray

Darling, that you will stay

Butterfly lies

Chase them away

He was scared. Even through all the countless arguments and lies, you never left. Now you were suggesting a break, and Hawk knows from seeing other relationships that they always just end in an actual break up.

In a weird way, you did want to scare him. Because he would never change if you didn’t. You hated the idea of a break, but maybe Hawk would finally stop lying to you if you showed him you were serious.

“It’s not a breakup,” you assured, because you knew what he was thinking. For once. “We just need time apart for a little bit. To think.”

“About what?” he asked defensively, starting to raise his voice again.

“You and I. We’re quite toxic, you know?” you contrasted his volume in a lighter tone, making his face relax and his lips turn up a bit.

His small smile dropped suddenly, replaced by an anxious expression. “Don’t leave me Y/N.”

Your heart dropped at his words, and you wanted to wrap your arms around him. To tell him you’d never leave and that it was all okay. But it wasn’t all okay.

You grabbed his hand instead, “You’re my best friend. I love you. But I need this, okay? We both do. Just some time to figure out how we can fix... us.”

“I can fix it now, we don’t need to take a break. Please. I’ll never lie to you again. I just- I hate disappointing you,” he pleaded, tightening his hand around yours, and you wanted to give in.

But you knew that letting this go on, this never ending cycle, would only end with the both of you in a huge crash and burn.

“You said that last time,” you gave him a sad smile. “Let’s just figure our shit out, and then come back better for each other. We need this Hawk.”

-

6 months later

Things didn’t end so well after your break with Hawk. After spending some time apart, you two were just never close again.

None of you planned for it to happen; you just drifted away from each other. And neither of you exactly established when the “break” would be over.

So for the next few months, you passed each other in the halls without any acknowledgment of the other’s existence. Of course you missed him, but not being with him just became the new normal. And you accepted it and pushed your feelings aside.

“So you’ll meet us there? You sure you don’t want the limo to pick you up?” your friend Cara asked from across the lunch table.

“Yeah don’t worry about me, Jesse’s picking me up,” you replied, making the rest of your friends wiggle their eyebrows teasingly.

“What happened to prom with the girls, Y/N? I thought we established no boyfriends during prom season,” Cara pouted playfully, and you elbowed her in the ribs.

“He’s not my boyfriend. He just asked me to prom and that’s it,” you corrected.

Your other friend jumped in, “And why not? Jesse is so cute.”

As she asked, your eyes trailed away from your friends and towards a certain someone with loud red hair, sitting across the room with his karate posse.

Your group noticed your lack of attention and turned to see what you were looking at. They sighed in unison, making you bring your focus back to them.

“He’s why, isn’t he?” Cara gave you an understanding smile and rubbed your shoulder comfortingly. “It’s okay. Just have fun tonight.”

You only nodded, giving your kind friends a soft smile of appreciation.

As much as you tried to convince yourself that you’ve moved on fully, the boy with a kaleidoscope mind would always have a place in your heart.

-

Where is he?

You paced around your living room anxiously, checking your phone for what seemed like the millionth time in the past hour.

You scrolled through the numerous texts you’ve sent, contemplating if you should send another one. Calling him wasn’t even an option; it went straight to voicemail everytime.

After an hour and a half, you gave up waiting and hoping that your prom date would show up. You flopped down onto the couch despairingly, replying to worried texts from your friends.

‘I’m not going to make it, just don’t worry about me. Have fun my loves.’ you typed, throwing your phone onto the floor right after.

You didn’t want to ask them to pick you up and ruin their night, and you were honestly too drained from being stood up to call an Uber.

So prom night ended up with you spread out on the couch with your outfit that you’ve planned out months ago, eating out of a carton of rocky road ice cream.

Honestly, it could’ve been worse. You could’ve been spending the night with an absolute jerk named Jesse. (a/n: so sorry if ur name is jesse lmao)

In the middle of your rom com movie marathon, an abrupt knock at the front door made you sit up from your pathetic, ice cream eating position on the sofa.

Immediately, you turned off the TV and tiptoed towards the door. You silently grabbed the baseball bat next to it, while squinting to see through the peephole.

Your stomach immediately dropped when you saw him.

Clad in a black suit, with a bouquet of your favorite flowers.

Shifting on his feet and chewing on his lip nervously, as he waited for you to open the door.

The boy you didn’t know you needed to see until now.

What is he doing here?

You covered your mouth in shock as you ran to the mirror to check if you had chocolate stains around your mouth. You smoothed down your hair and straightened out your dress in a frenzy, before unlocking the door with a deep breath in.

“Hawk?” you tried to act surprised, which wasn’t hard because your heart was racing.

He took a second to look at you in your wasted prom attire, and he was locked in a trance for a second before he snapped out of it. “Oh... uh, these are for you,” he held out the flowers to you and you took them with a smile.

“Wow, I love them. Thank you,” you brought them up to your nose for a whiff of your favorite floral scent. “So, what are you doing here?” you asked awkwardly.

“Oh crap, sorry, do you want to come in?” you said before he would answer, and you opened the door wider so he could step inside.

Hawk looked around the room where he’s been countless times, and he frowned at the sight of 13 Going On 30 paused on the screen with half melted ice cream on the coffee table. That movie plus the sweet dessert was your absolute comfort pairing, and it made him sad that you needed it.

“Cara texted me, and I was worried,” he finally spoke, answering your earlier question. You suddenly felt embarrassed as you placed the bouquet in a vase. You didn’t want to be pitied. Especially by your ex-boyfriend.

“I’m fine,” you said bluntly, busying yourself with the flowers so that you wouldn’t have to face him. You hadn’t talked to him since the night you suggested the break, and you already felt too exhausted from tonight’s events to even talk about it with him. “It’s better that I didn’t go to prom with that dick.”

Hawk chuckled at your remark, and you felt more at ease. The tension between you was thicker than an iceberg, and you didn’t know if you could handle it.

“So did you leave? Or are you just dressed up like that for me?” you smiled, sitting down on the couch where he followed.

He laughed again, lightening the mood even more. “I was there, but you know, Cara told me about what happened and... I just felt like I needed to come. It was lame though. The whole thing is just dancing. And I don’t dance,” Hawk explained, and you found yourself smiling at the thought of him caring about you. “But I know how excited you were about prom, so I thought I’d bring it to you. Some romantic shit like that.”

Your eyebrows raised at “romantic shit”, but you decided not to say anything about it. Although, it did make your cheeks heat up and you hoped he didn’t notice. “That’s really sweet Hawk. Thank you. Really,” you placed your hand on top of his, but you recoiled awkwardly because it felt too intimate, given the circumstances.

You cleared your throat, “So... since you’re bringing prom to me, does that mean I get a dance?” you got up and stood in front of him with your arms playfully crossed.

Hawk squinted his blue eyes at you, crossing his arms as well, “I don’t dance, remember?”

“For me you will, right? Or I could just, you know, dance by myself. It’s already been such a great night for me,” you teased, walking away from him towards a clear space in the living room.

He groaned from behind you and got up to follow, making you cheer happily. “For you I will,” he stated under his breath, releasing dozens of butterflies in your stomach.

Dance around the living room

Lose me in the sight of you

I've seen the red, I've seen the blue

Take all of me

You turned on your Dad’s old record player, where a slow, jazzy, 60s vinyl was spinning. You almost wanted to change it because it felt too romantic, but Hawk was already waiting behind you and you were scared he would change his mind.

The rush his presence gave you made you boldly put your hands on his shoulders, and he stiffly placed his own on the curve of your waist. Your hands were locked at the nape of his neck; his hold on you was light as if you were fragile china.

You forgot how intoxicating it felt to be this close to him, and you wondered how you went so long without that feeling.

The both of you swayed to the smooth melodies of Nina Simone with interlocked eyes, and with every second his hands on your hips became more relaxed. You rested your head on his chest, pulling him closer.

For a song or two, none of you said anything; there was just an unspoken appreciation of each other’s presence. After 6 months without him, you needed this.

I'll never give you away

'Cause I've already made that mistake

If my name never fell off your lips again

I know it'd be such a shame

When I take a look at my life

And all of my crimes

You're the only thing that I think I got I right

“I should’ve never let you go,” Hawk whispered close to your ear, sending a shiver down your spine.

“I was the one who wanted the break. It’s my fault,” you opposed, lifting your head up from his chest to look up at him.

He raised one of his hands to tuck a piece of hair behind your ear, and it brought a warm smile to your face. “But I didn’t chase after you,” his lips turned down into a frown.

You put your hands on the sides of his face while you two continued to sway to the staticky vinyl. “Maybe it’s both of our faults,” you laughed lightly, touching his soft skin.

“It’s me Y/N. I’m the one who lied to you throughout the whole relationship. I’m so sorry,” Hawk looked down at you with glossy eyes. “I’ve done so much fucked up shit. But you’re the only thing I got right. I hate myself for ruining it too.”

Your felt yourself melt at his confession. “It’s not ruined,” you disputed. “You aren’t perfect and I’m not either. I shouldn’t have given up on us. I’m sorry.”

He closed his eyes in peace as your hands ran through his bright hair. It was down from its usual style, giving him a softer look.

“Maybe we both messed up. But I’m never giving you away again Y/N. I won’t make that mistake. I love you,” the boy you’ve missed for months admitted, saying everything you wanted to hear.

You kissed him in reply.

a/n: ah idk if i like this but i hope u do, i feel like my writings are getting repetitive im having bad writers block (as u can tell by how slow im doing requests)