#in every recording I've ever seen it's everything BUT the second verse. this one is specifically that part!!! it's my favorite part!!!

[lifemod17]

I, Carrion (Icarian) was played last night in Grand Rapids, MI ☀️🪽

It's always "ily" but never "yhmflafotswyahatwtyhyhb"

Source: Instagram.com

[foxes-that-run]

Question...?

Question..? track 7, is the most clearly directed at Harry on Midnights so I will start there. In the vein of Style, Two Ghosts or Perfect there is no attempt to hide the muse here. To me, these songs are intended to draw attention. It was the surprise song on the 20 May anniversary.

This post also has more on Question

When was it written

It was written by November 2021. Rachel Antonoff, Dylan O'Brien, and Austin Swift (in Jack's home studio )were there the day they recorded it as seen in the video below. Dylan was in New York for All Too Well filming in late October and to attend the premiere on November 12.

Lyrics

[Intro] I remember

Firstly, Remember is a reference to Wildest Dreams and she samples Out of the Woods. 2 words in and we know it's Haylor, Taylor is being clear, she's referencing 1989.

[Verse 1] Good girl, sad boy Big city, wrong choices We had one thing goin' on I swear that it was somethin' 'Cause I don't remember who I was Before you painted all my nights A color I've searched for since But one thing after another Fuckin' situations, circumstances Miscommunications, and I Have to say, by the way I just may like some explanations

Good Girl/Sad Boy is a matured reference to Style, where she was a good guy. He was also a bad guy in Blank Space.

'Painted my all my nights a colour I have searched for since' is one of my favourite lyrics, because Harry gets all of the colours, it also touches on the theme that are are irreplaceable to each other.

Miscommunications are also a key theme for their songs to each other. They do not communicate in words what they can in song.

[Chorus] Can I ask you a question? Did you ever have someone kiss you in a crowded room And every single one of your friends was makin' fun of you But fifteen seconds later, thеy were clappin' too? Then what did you do? Did you lеave her house in the middle of the night? Oh Did you wish you'd put up more of a fight, oh When she said it was too much? Do you wish you could still touch her?

This is often thought to reference New Years Eve which is a sad event to me. I think it is less literal, referring to how people are both thrilled and aghast that they were together.

The second half refers to the events of Say don't go to me.

In a 2013 vanity fair article swifts rep said:

“After Swift ended the relationship, he pursued her for the better part of a year until she finally took him back. “But the whole time she says she feels like he’s looking at every girl,” the source continues. And then when they were in London together he “disappears one night and after that it was like he just didn’t want to keep going.” Styles’s rep, Benny Tarantini at Columbia Records, said that all of Swift’s source’s claims are “undeniably false.””

[Verse 2] Half-moon eyes, bad surprise Did you realize out of time? She was on your mind with some dickhead guy That you saw that night But you were on somethin' It was one drink after another Fuckin' politics and gender roles And you're not sure and I don't know Got swept away in the gray I just may like to have a conversation

The bad surprise refers to an event in 2016 which I think played a role in her disappearance.

The dickhead guy is Calvin Harris. In Ready for It...?, Illicit Affairs, Woman and Delicate talk about that period as well as other songs.

Gender roles in politics is a beautiful line, she explores this more in Slut!, The Man and what makes them beautiful muses for each other is they are both purposeful with their gender expression.

[Bridge] Does it feel like everything's just like Second best after that meteor strike? And what's that that I heard? That you're still with her? That's nice, I'm sure that's what's suitable And right, but tonight

'Does it feel like everything is second best' reflects a theme that no one compares to the other, in particular:

Ready for it: Every lover known in comparison is a failure, and

As it was: "Seems you cannot be replaced / And I'm the one who will stay."

[whataperfectwasteoftime]

One Mile Left

Pairing: Marcus Pike x f!reader (from the Born to Run ‘verse)

Rating: T 

Word Count: 1.2k

Warnings: Reader panics a bit, that’s all.

A/N: I'll really post 2 drabbles in 2 days to avoid writing for Lavish and Control, huh? So this is a real thing that happened to me last summer during training, I collapsed on a long run with 1 mile left and my husband had to come looking for me and I picked a fight with him and cried the whole way home because running 17 miles makes you totally unreasonable and insane for a little while. ALSO this is the second time I've written this and I vow to never write a story in drafts EVER AGAIN. I think the first version was probably better but who cares because it's goooonnnneeeeeeeee

Series Masterlist | Masterlist

The theme from Rocky usually matches your running pace perfectly, your footfalls coming down in time to the beat of the song. Right now, though, your steps are lagging and wildly offbeat; the lyrics seem to mock you with the repetition of “Gonna fly now” over and over while you are decidedly not flying. You could barely call it running, what you’re doing right now. It’s only marginally better than standing still. 

This run might not be setting any speed records for you, but you do have one thing going for you.

You are incredibly stubborn. 

Your husband, Marcus Pike, would agree wholeheartedly.

This run was cursed from the start, really. You had started out with a painful side stitch early-on, and you were slower than normal as you bull-headedly pushed through it. Then, around mile eight, your stomach started to get upset, and you had to make an emergency stop at some store. Your pace never really recovered. You'd walked out of the door as the first rays of sun were making their way across the sky, but now, three hours later, the sun is fully up and beating down on you. The air is humid, it’s unbearably hot, and you didn’t drink enough water before you left. You're extremely dehydrated and it's starting to fuck with your mind.

You’re seventeen miles into an eighteen mile run and quickly losing steam. You start to bargain with yourself. One more mile, you insist in your head. One mile takes about ten minutes. You can do this for ten minutes. Hell, you’ve been at this for three hours–ten minutes is nothing. Everything is temporary–your marathon training mantra. Everything is temporary, even this. Ten. More. Minutes.

Your body has other ideas. Despite the intense argument taking place in your head, your legs suddenly cease to continue moving forward and you come to a halt on the side of the remote, rural road. In pain and incredibly frustrated with yourself, the angry tears start to fall and mingle with the salt-encrusted sweat drying on your cheeks. Your breath is coming in frantic, wheezing pants as your body just refuses to move in a maddening display of self-preservation. You stumble to your knees in defeat.

You only had one. mile. left. 

The same training plan that’s seen you through five marathons is like the gospel to you. You almost have it memorized at this point. It’s a ritual, writing down the scheduled mileage in your planner, starting with ~*~Marathon Day!~*~ (emblazoned with hearts and stars and underlined seven times) and working backwards to the scheduled start of the first training run. You follow the plan to a tee–not only because it’s very good at preparing you for the race, but also because it’s become a bit of a superstition for you. Not adhering to the schedule is akin to walking under a ladder, breaking a mirror, and opening an umbrella indoors all on the same day.

Your body protesting your every move, you struggle to your feet and begin your miserable walk of shame back to the house. Maybe here in a few minutes, you’ll feel up to running again. 

Yeah, right.

Still sniffling, panting, wheezing, and shaking, you shuffle forward on aching feet, looking down until you hear the noise of a car approaching.

You glance up, and immediately grimace. Fuck, it’s Marcus. Of course it is. 

He pulls up beside you and rolls down the window. “Where the hell have you been?” he asks, his voice full of concern. “It’s long past the time you typically get back, I’ve been really worried.”

“C-can’t–” you gasp, unable to speak through the effort of breathing. 

“C’mere,” Marcus tells you gently. “I’ve got water in the car, I’ll take you home.”

“No,” you sob, a fresh wave of tears coming to your eyes. “G-got one mile left.”

“Oh come on,” he protests, incredulous. “Honey, you can barely walk.”

“I’ve got it handled,” you growl hysterically through clenched teeth. You still can’t admit defeat. 

“Oh yeah?” Marcus questions, raising one eyebrow at your obstinance. “Fine. You win. Run the last mile, and I’ll drive beside you.”

Your head whips over to look at Marcus. His gaze is partly challenging, partly cross, and more than a little bit worried. It’s clear that he doesn’t think you’re going to actually do it, and… well, he’s right.

You slump against his car with a frustrated cry, and Marcus is there in an instant, jumping out of the car and pulling your sweaty body to him with one arm and opening the passenger side door with the other. 

“Jesus Christ, get in the car,” he mutters–exasperatedly, but fondly. “Hey, it’s okay–I’ve got you.”

You let him guide you into the seat, immediately reaching for the bottle of water in the cupholder and taking several long, desperate gulps as Marcus crosses back over to the other side of the car and gets in. 

He puts his hand on your leg reassuringly as he drives. “Rough one, huh?” he asks quietly. 

“I had one mile left,” you whisper, more tears falling. “It was a failed run.”

“I know I’m coming at this with an outsider’s perspective,” Marcus offers quietly, “but the way I see it, running seventeen miles can’t possibly be a failure.”

“It is when it’s supposed to be eighteen,” you argue. 

“Okay,” he says thoughtfully. “But you can’t discount the whole run just because you’re a mile short.”

“Now I’ve got one mile unaccounted for in training,” you say, panic creeping back into your voice. “What if I’m one mile short for the race?”

The idea is partly ridiculous, but it has its basis in reality. Training is the thing that prepares you to run a race that, according to legend, killed the first person who ran it. Every mile does count–and although you still have your nineteen- and twenty-mile training runs left before you finally start to taper, leaving one mile on the table is like not throwing a pinch of salt over your shoulder when you spill the shaker. 

“You drop back down in mileage again next weekend, right?” Marcus asks, and it makes you smile in spite of your physical and mental agony. He knows the training plan almost as well as you do. 

“Yeah, twelve,” you mutter, pressing the cool water bottle to your forehead. 

“Why don’t you make it thirteen instead,” he suggests.

You bite your lip. It’s not the same, you want to say, but all the fight has gone out of you. And besides, this is a stupid fight to pick, and you know it. Now that you've had some water and have started to cool off, your brain is coming back online and you can understand that you're being unreasonable.

“Yeah,” you agree, dropping your head in defeat. “Yeah, I’ll do that.”

“Hey,” Marcus says, squeezing your leg affectionately. “You’re doing really well. I’m fucking proud of you.”

“You have to say that, you're my husband,” you mutter. “You’d say that even if I quit training outright tomorrow.”

Marcus laughs. “I would,” he admits with a smile as he pulls up to your house. “Because I still would be. I’m proud of you no matter what, little love.”

You let out one last little sob at the pet name. 

You know that Marcus is telling the absolute truth.

One Week Later

Marcus is sitting on your porch when you round the corner, breathing heavily and covered in sweat but feeling triumphant. 

“How was it?” he calls out, his expression hopeful.

Your smile is brilliant. “Set a new personal record for a half marathon,” you announce breathlessly. 

“Yes!” Marcus exclaims happily, doing a cute little fist pump in victory. “And that missing mile?” he asks, handing you a giant glass of ice water as you join him on the little patio couch.

“Fuck the missing mile,” you say. 

Marcus laughs. “Good.”

*

A/N 2: The only difference between this story and my actual run this is based on is that I stopped to use the bathroom in a mega-Catholic church in the middle of bumfuck nowhere, not a store, and it was super embarrassing. 

[the-girl-who-cried-wolf]

so, i'm sure we've all heard and gone insane over 2011 (5sos) by now, and i can't stop thinking about it so now i'm blurting all my thoughts into a post. this may end up a mess, but i've gotta write this out...

first of all, can we take a minute to appreciate how well crafted the sound is?? the whole feel of it is just the perfect blend of each era and influence that has impacted their sound as a developing band, and if you listen closely to 2011 you can hear each album in it: the guitar patterns of self titled, the drums of sounds good feels good, the piano of youngblood and calm...this song is literally everything. the pop rock, pop punk, alt pop - they've got it all, and into one song! and thats only the sonic of it!!

the lyrical side of the track is a whole other realm of genius, with the verse structures and the themes all showing us a taste the new 5sos5 feel, as well as resonating with what we've heard in the other 4 albums. i can't explain how much i love the raw honesty of the words, and the way you can see how truthful they are, especially in the way that each line in the song can be connected to at least one comment in the podcasts...they really are being the most real and genuine they have ever been with they're music, and it's amazing to see.

arguably the most identifiable element would have to be the vocals - the fact that its calum and michael singing, the way they spilt the verses and chorus up between them... there's a whole lot going on here and it works flawlessly. we've seen, or perhaps heard, more and more of how luke's vocals have become the forefront of 5sos's music, the trademark sound of youngblood and calm. but here, on 2011, calum and michael's voices (especially splitting verses together!) brings back the nostalgia of self titled and sgfg vocals, and a hint of some songs off youngblood too (i'm thinking why won't you love me right this second, im sure there's more). also, the pure emotion in 2011 gets a big mention too, because fuck, they really just poured their soul out and you can hear it in the rise and fall of the vocals, every second filled with the feelings that they put into this song, and it's just the best experience ever (!!!)

it feels like, to me at least, that they're really going back to their roots and remembering everything they once loved in their music, and then reusing it in a way that fits them even better now. they're not hell bent on making a pop punk album or a hit record/single; they're just making music for the hell of it, they're making it from the heart, and sharing it with their fans. its truly beautiful to hear and see, and i'm so excited to see what else the guys have in store for us!!!

[bananaofswifts]

By : Callie Ahlgrim and Courteney Larocca

Taylor Swift released her eighth studio album, "Folklore," on Friday.

Swift surprised fans by announcing its release just one day in advance — and less than one year after the release of her acclaimed seventh album "Lover."

"Most of the things I had planned this summer didn't end up happening, but there is something I had planned that DID happen," she wrote on social media. "And that thing is my 8th studio album, folklore. Surprise!"

She described "Folklore," stylized in all lowercase, as "an entire brand new album of songs I've poured all of my whims, dreams, fears, and musings into."

Much of the 16-song tracklist — 17 on the deluxe edition — was cowritten and produced by The National's Aaron Dessner. Smaller pieces were cowritten by Bon Iver, Jack Antonoff, and someone named William Bowery. Antonoff also produced five songs.

Insider's music team (reporter Callie Ahlgrim and celebrity and music editor Courteney Larocca) listened to the new album on our own, jotting down our initial thoughts track by track.

Almost immediately, we were forced to reckon with the fact that "Folklore" might be Swift's best album yet — potentially even better than "Red," which previously seemed like it couldn't be topped. We were stunned with the mature, poetic, stunningly understated collection of new songs.

Here is what we thought of each song on "Folklore" upon first listen. (Skip to the end to see the only songs worth listening to and the album's final score.)

"The 1" is the best album opener Swift has had in years.

Ahlgrim: "I'm doing good, I'm on some new s---" is a wild way to begin a new Taylor Swift album. This is going to be different.

This is easily the best intro song she's released in years. "The 1" far surpasses "I Forgot That You Existed" on "Lover," "...Ready for It?" on "Reputation," and "Welcome to New York" on "1989" in terms of sheer quality.

It's also an engaging scene-setter; I find myself gently rocking back and forth, eyes closed, smiling without realizing. It's only the first song and so far, I am totally grasping the woodsy aesthetic of this album. I'm already ready for more.

Larocca: I would argue that there hasn't been a strong album opener on one of Swift's albums since "State of Grace" on "Red" in 2012. "The 1" breaks that curse.

I was vibing from that very first piano note, but when Swift comes in and warmly delivers the first line of the album — "I'm doing good, I'm on some new s---" — it became evident this project wouldn't be anything like the rest of her discography.

As far as "The 1" goes as a standalone song, it's incredibly solid. Swift has a breezy attention to rhythm as she paints a tale of a the-one-who-got-away romance. I truly, truly love it. This might end up being an all-time favorite track.

"Cardigan" is beautifully influenced by Lana Del Rey.

Ahlgrim: I heard "Cardigan" first because I watched the music video before I listened to the album.

Right off the bat, I was struck by the Lana Del Rey melody in the chorus; I jotted down "folksy 'Blue Jeans.'"

Swift has actually cited Del Rey as an inspiration in the past, so this makes sense — and that particular shade of nostalgic, haunting glamour really works for Swift's voice, so I'm overall very impressed with this direction. I am more than amenable to a "Red" meets "Norman F---ing Rockwell!" album experience. On my second time around listening, sans music video, "Cardigan" already feels richer coming after "The 1."

This time, I'm struck by small lyrical details like "Sequined smile, black lipstick," a clear callback to her past eras, and "Tried to change the ending / Peter losing Wendy," an effective way to evoke young love and innocence lost.

I also think the song's central refrain, "When you are young they assume you know nothing," is clean and sharp and — especially given Swift's public struggles with sexism and years-old contracts — extremely poignant.

Larocca: I had the thought that Swift listens to Lana Del Rey after hearing "Miss Americana and the Heartbreak Prince" on last year's "Lover," but now I know for sure that Del Rey is an influence on Swift.

While "Cardigan" isn't what I thought this album would be like sonically, I'm overjoyed at how clearly singer-songwriter this album already is. I've been waiting years for Swift to make a lyrical marvel set to acoustic, warm, folksy instrumentals and it's here.

(And while I expected something different sonically, I am not mad at all by the backing instrumental choices here.)

"The Last Great American Dynasty" proves Swift is a natural storyteller.

Ahlgrim: Personally, I love Storyteller Taylor, so this is quite literally music to my ears.

There are so many delicious details here to unpack. The first verse, with its subtle sexist whisperings about Rebekah Harkness ("How did a middle-class divorcée do it?" and "It must have been her fault his heart gave out"), is a truly savvy way to set up for the song's eventual reveal.

Rebekah spent her time partying with friends, funding the ballet, playing card games with Salvador Dalí, somehow "ruining everything" — and her Holiday House was "free of women with madness" until Swift herself moved in.

That twist in the bridge is poetic genius. When the final chorus adjusts to the present day, underscoring the parallels between Rebekah and Swift, I'm forcefully reminded of an iconic bridge when Romeo finally proposed and changed everything — but Swift has evolved past daydreams of pure white dresses and fathers giving permission.

Larocca: I'm immediately taken back to 2012's "Starlight" when "The Last Great American Dynasty" starts. Thankfully, this song ends up being a lot better than "Starlight," which always felt more like a filler track on "Red" to me.

I love a lot here: the casual use of "b----," the acute attention to detail ("She stole his dog and dyed it key lime green"), and every version of this line: "There goes the maddest woman this town has ever seen."

I had a marvelous time listening to this song.

"Exile," featuring Bon Iver, is one of Swift's most successful duets to date.

Ahlgrim: Swift and Bon Iver, aka Justin Vernon, are two of the best songwriters alive today, so this song was destined to be breathtaking.

Swift has historically had difficulty allowing her voice and vision to coexist with a featured artist; her collaborations often leave me feeling like she should've just delivered the whole song herself.

But Swift and Vernon were able to weave their lyrics together so gracefully, I was left feeling grateful for his presence. His rich, rustic tone and those iconic hummed harmonies lends the regretful song an added coat of sincerity.

The production here is generally fine, but the layered instrumentals in the ending really bring the song together. I love a dramatic exit.

Larocca: When I see a "featuring Bon Iver" on a track, I instantly assume Vernon is going to come in with his high falsetto. So it was almost jarring that the song starts with Vernon sounding like a lumberjack dad who hasn't left the woods in a decade.

That didn't end up being a detriment, though. Swift sounds delicate on her verse, and their vocals contrast nicely later on the track.

This one also brings to mind her collab "The Last Time" with Snow Patrol's Gary Lightbody. The line "I think I've seen this film before and I didn't like the ending" is also reminiscent of "If This Was a Movie."

I'm obsessed with the clear influences Swift's previous discography had on these tracks, which have also so far felt completely unique to her catalog.

"My Tears Ricochet" is an extraordinary display of Swift's songwriting powers.

Ahlgrim: First of all, "My Tears Ricochet" is an incredible song title. Let's take a moment to appreciate that.

In fact, pretty much every line of this song is arresting.

Much of it feels both familiar and rare, like you know exactly what Swift is singing about, but hadn't thought to put it in those words before — which is, in my opinion, the mark of any good piece of writing but especially a breakup song. You can relate to the emotion, if not the particular details. You can hear the pain. It almost plays like a funeral march.

What a gift it is, what an exhilarating experience, to feel like you're listening to a poem being recited in real-time.

Larocca: Any true Swiftie knows that track five is reserved for the most vulnerable moment on the record, so I went into "My Tears Ricochet" ready to be sad.

I am endlessly impressed with how Swift managed to bake the word "ricochet" into this song so effectively. She also ditched her traditional song structure for this one, and instead built the track from peak to peak, utilizing clever lyrics along the way to tell an epic, devastating story, almost obviously calling back to the most beloved track five of "All Too Well."

I'm calling it now — this one is going to age like a fine wine. As all of Swift's best breakup ballads do.

"Mirrorball" is several strokes of genius.

Ahlgrim: This song gives me intense Clairo vibes, and I mean that as a very high compliment.

It's so fun and refreshing to hear Swift slip into different musical styles, and this shimmery take on alternative-bedroom-pop highlights her soft vocals and nuanced songwriting supremely well.

Also, my Leo sensibilities are fully under attack by this bridge: "I've never been a natural, all I do is try, try, try / I'm still on that trapeze / I'm still trying everything to keep you looking at me." Oof! Just tag me next time.

Larocca: This one is so pretty! Swift's vocals sound better than ever as she spins on her highest heels across a glittery daydream.

"I'm a mirrorball / I'll show you every version of yourself tonight" might be the thesis statement of this entire album. So far, "Folklore" feels both diaristic and vague; detailed and completely anonymous.

Fans will be debating for years whether this album is about Swift's own life, or if it's simply really great storytelling pulled directly from her own mind. In the end, it doesn't really matter.

Because as all of Swift's best songs do, these songs will attach themselves to listeners in completely new ways, showing them elements and stories from their own lives.

"Seven" is pure whimsical magic.

Ahlgrim: This is playing make-believe in the garden when you're too young to feel self-conscious; it's poetic and nostalgic and full of awe in such an unpretentious way.

I wouldn't change one thing about this song. Swift's whispery high register sounds divine, and at this point in the tracklist, her rhythmic delivery in the chorus hits like a shot of espresso.

Right now, I'm wondering if it's possible for Swift to maintain this intrigue and momentum for another nine songs. There hasn't been a misstep to speak of, and I remain wholly beguiled. Can it last?

Larocca: The beginning of "Seven" sounds like Swift listened to Marina's "Orange Trees" on repeat before showing up to her songwriting session. Fortunately, "Orange Trees" is the only song I like on Marina's "Love + Fear" so I will gladly accept this inspiration.

Swift continues to impress with both her vocals and her sense of rhythm on "Seven." I also personally love space imagery so the line "Love you to the moon and to Saturn" is a standout line.

"August" will go down as one of the best songs in Swift's extensive repertoire.

Ahlgrim: I'm immediately catching hints of Phoebe Bridgers and girl in red in Swift's delivery. And I simply adore the idea that Swift has spent the last few months sitting at home, daydreaming about summertime humidity and listening to music by queer indie-pop girls. 

In an album full of songwriting expertise, this song has some of Swift's best lines yet: "August sipped away like a bottle of wine / 'Cause you were never mine" actually hurts me.

In my notes, there simply sits this valuable insight (yes, in all-caps): "WANTING WAS ENOUGH. FOR ME IT WAS ENOUGH TO LIVE FOR THE HOPE OF IT ALL." This song has my favorite bridge on the album so far.

In terms of production, "August" is exquisite. It's lush and layered without feeling overwhelming at any point. It builds to the perfect level then recedes, like a wave. 

Also worth mentioning: It can now be considered a historical fact that any time Swift mentions a car or driving in one of her songs, it's a perfect song.

Larocca: While listening to "August," I texted Callie and said, "I can't wait to finish the album so I can relisten to 'August.'" It's an instant favorite. 

This is also the first track on the album that seems directly inspired by our current state. Not because she's expressing fear or singing about being bored at home, but because she so easily slips into a reflection of a relationship that ended years ago with a newfound wave of wistful nostalgia. 

When quarantine started, it seemed like a million lifestyle articles came out explaining why everyone suddenly felt compelled to text their exes and why we're so invested in looking back instead of forward right now. 

"August" validates those feelings with zero judgment, letting its listener know that yes, it's totally normal for you to be overanalyzing that quasi-relationship you were in back in college that never made it past graduation. Am I projecting? Maybe, but that's debatably what Swift's music is best utilized for.

I'm also going to be thinking about this song's bridge and outro for the rest of my life.

The National's influence can be felt on the stunning "This Is Me Trying."

Ahlgrim: "This Is Me Trying" quickly strikes a more sinister tone than its predecessors — still nostalgic and wistful, but carrying an edge, like a threatening secret.

Ironically, this one was co-written and co-produced by Jack Antonoff, not Aaron Dessner, though I can really hear The National's influence here. I'm getting strong wafts of songs like "Pink Rabbits" and "Dark Side of the Gym."

Based on Swift's own words, we can speculate that "This Is Me Trying" is a fictional tale, built around the image of "a 17-year-old standing on a porch, learning to apologize." And, as previously stated, I'm a big fan of Storyteller Taylor, so I'm into it.

The song's darker tone mingles really well with Swift's imagery; when you're a teenager, and you make a mistake, it can feel like the end of the world.

Larocca: "This Is Me Trying" is precisely what I imagined this album sounding like when I found out Swift collaborated with the National's Aaron Dessner and Bon Iver.

But I'm glad she was strategic about her use of echo and also finally paid attention to the tracklisting from a sonic standpoint. This haunting soundscape is reminiscent of 2014's "This Love" and comes in right when you need it after the yearning daydream of "August."  

I'd also like it to be on the record that the line "I got wasted like all my potential" ruined me and this song is a win for that lyric alone.

"Illicit Affairs" is a glowing example of what sets Swift apart from her peers as a songwriter.

Ahlgrim: The expert songwriting on "Illicit Affairs" reminds me of the as-yet unseated queen in Swift's discography: "All Too Well."

Swift is a master of wielding specific details like weapons: "What started in beautiful rooms / Ends with meetings in parking lots," she sings. "Leave the perfume on the shelf / That you picked out just for him." These are the sorts of images that set Swift apart, and they're especially strong when she punctuates their delivery with a little growl in her voice.

This song has real power. I have chills.

That power is magnified in the third verse, similar to how "All Too Well" builds to a crescendo: "Don't call me 'kid,' don't call me 'baby' / Look at this godforsaken mess that you made me."

Certainly, "Illicit Affairs" is more restrained than Swift's iconic arena rock ballad, but goddamn that last verse hits hard.

Larocca: The way that she says "him" in the second verse shook me out of my skin in the very best way. And "Don't call me 'kid,' don't call me 'baby' / Look at this idiotic fool that you made me" will go down as one of her best breakup lines of all time.  

It's been a minute since Swift delivered a painstakingly beautiful breakup ballad, and the fact that this album is littered with them is, simply, a gift.  

"Illicit Affairs" has growing power and will likely become one of those tracks that fans form a strong emotional attachment to over time.

"Invisible String" is Taylor Swift at her most Taylor Swift.

Ahlgrim: "Invisible String" is a feast of Easter eggs and callbacks.

"Teal was the color of your shirt" reminds me of the line about Joe Alwyn's blue eyes on "Delicate," and her reference to a dive bar is similarly familiar. "Gave me no compasses, gave me no signs" recalls the push-and-pull on "Exile."

"Bad was the blood of the song in the cab" is undoubtedly a reference to Swift's 2015 single "Bad Blood," while "One single thread of gold / Tied me to you" feels like a nod to Swift's description of love's "golden" hue on the "Lover" album closer "Daylight."

This song is sprightly and sparkly and certainly nice to listen to, but its real strength lies in these details.

Swift is weaving many different stories on this album, many connected by a sort of "Invisible String," tying different pieces of her life and your life and other lives together. It ends up feeling like a growing plant with far-reaching roots, or a sentient treasure map.

Larocca: I'd be lying if I said there weren't multiple points throughout this album where I worried that Swift and her boyfriend Joe Alwyn had broken up. 

Thankfully, "Invisible String" is a rosy, wide-eyed ode to love. The plucky guitar paired with Swift's soft vocals is a sound I want to live in, which is fitting since this track feels like coming home. 

Every small detail, from the nod to Alwyn's time spent working at a frozen yogurt shop in his youth, to the color imagery that paints every inflection of Swift's adoration (especially the single thread of gold) come together to lay the holy ground Swift's relationship walks on. 

Also, the image of Swift mailing Joe Jonas and Sophie Turner gifts for their expectant first child brings about an unbridled sense of joy.

"Mad Woman" is yet another highlight.

Ahlgrim: Every time I think I've heard the peak of this album's songwriting potential, Swift manages to surprise me. 

Case in point: "Do you see my face in the neighbor's lawn? / Does she smile? / Or does she mouth, 'F--- you forever?'" Whoa.

And another, for good measure: "It's obvious that wanting me dead / Has really brought you two together." I texted Courteney, "Did she really just say that??"

This song is sublime on its own, but the way it ties back into the perception of female freedom and "madness" on "The Last Great American Dynasty" makes it even better. "Mad Woman" is definitely a personal favorite so far on this album, if not in Swift's entire catalog.

Larocca: "Mad Woman" will forever hold the honor of being the first song in which Swift says "f---" and for that, we should all be thankful. 

I was also so wrapped up in the storytelling of this album, that it took a minute for this to even register that this is likely about the Scooter Braun and Scott Borchetta / Kanye West and Kim Kardashian West ordeals of Swift's past. These callouts used to be so obvious, that I greatly appreciate the subtlety and restraint here. 

It almost feels like these feuds were a lifetime ago, but this track does an excellent job at showcasing how anger and pain can leave an indelible mark on you. Swift went mad years ago, and that's just an accepted part of her narrative now. 

But for the first time, her rage sounds like freedom.

"Epiphany" doesn't stand out.

Ahlgrim: There are some really interesting vocal moments on "Epiphany," but so far, this is the only song I haven't felt captivated by. It's a bit snoozy, and a bit too long.

This song clearly references war, the loss of a loved one, and the coronavirus pandemic, which makes it lyrically intriguing at best — but distressing at worst. I don't mind letting the overall effect waft over me, but this won't be a song I revisit outside the context of the album.

Larocca: "Epiphany" is the only track on "Folklore" that didn't immediately grab me. It's essentially a war drama in song format, so some people might like it, but I truly couldn't care less about war movies or war songs! So it's not my favorite, but it makes for pretty background music. 

"Epiphany" does have another benefit though: Now, whenever some random dude erroneously claims Swift "only writes songs about her exes," fans have a clear song in her discography that they can point to and be like, "That's not true. This one's about war." 

That's not to say Swift needed that — anyone who has been paying attention understands she's quite possibly the best songwriter of her generation.  

This just happens to be further proof of that fact.

"Betty" is a charming callback to Swift's country roots.

Ahlgrim: "Betty" is like the best, sauciest song from Swift's 2006 debut country album that no one got to hear. It has sonic and lyrical similarities to hits like "Our Song" and "Tim McGraw," plus some name-dropping stuff like 2008's "Hey Stephen," plus a little harmonica thrown in for good measure! I love that for us.

"Betty" also appears to complete a three-song story, recalling details from "Cardigan" and "August" to close the loop on Betty and James, a couple in high school with some infidelity issues.

Looking back, it feels like "Cardigan" was told from Betty's perspective, while "August" was told from the perspective of a sort of "other woman" character. Now, we get James' side of the story. This is high art, folks! This is peak Storytelling Taylor!

"Betty" is also, like, very gay? I know it's easy to assume that James is a male character, but Swift herself was named after James Taylor, so she could be referring to herself. The song also references someone named Inez; James and Inez are the names of Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively's daughters.

Plus, in retrospect, the idea of whispering "Are you sure? Never have I ever before" during a summer fling seems pretty gay to me.

I'm not saying the story of Betty and James would be better if it was written about sapphic lovers, but I'm not not saying that.

Larocca: This one is gay, and if you try to tell me otherwise, I will simply ignore you. 

But Courteney, it's from the perspective of a guy named James. James and the other character, Inez, share the same names as Reynolds and Lively's kids (will leave it up to you to decide if that means their third daughter's name is Betty). James is their daughter. Get out of here with your antiquated ideas about which names connotate which genders. 

To me, the James named in this song is a woman and a lesbian and this song is for the gays. I will not be saying anything else or accepting any feedback on this opinion, thank you.

"Peace" is honest and raw.

Ahlgrim: This song's intro sounds like LCD Soundsystem had a baby with "The Archer." The gentle guitar riff is also lovely.

With Dessner's echoey production, Swift's voice sounds like a warm little fire in a cave — fitting, since she sings in the chorus, "I'm a fire and I'll keep your brittle heart warm."

OK damn, I'm getting really emotional. This songwriting is beautiful and haunting. "Peace" perfectly captures the ambient dread of feeling your partner slip away, of wondering whether love can be enough. 

Larocca: If you're a "Call It What You Want" stan, you're going to love its mature older sister "Peace." 

I will hereby forever be thinking about the parallels between "But I'm a fire and I'll keep your brittle heart warm" with "He built a fire just to keep me warm" and between "Family that I chose, now that I see your brother as my brother" with "Trust him like a brother."

Also, "Would it be enough if I could never give you peace?" has the same emotional impact as when Swift changes the lyric in "The Archer" to "I see right through me" and that's meant as the highest form of compliment. 

Swift's vocals are so crisp, that guitar riff is so stunning, and these lyrics are so gut-wrenchingly vulnerable. A perfect song, through and through.

"Hoax" is unlike any other album closer in Swift's catalog.

Ahlgrim: I don't know if Swift is going through a traumatic breakup, but if she isn't, the woman is one convincing creative writer.

The National makes some of my favorite music to cry to, so when I heard Aaron Dessner had co-written and produced much of this album, I knew I was in for some glossy cheeks. Until now, I think I've felt too captivated by Swift's artistry to really let myself get there.

But finally, "Hoax" is making me cry.

This is heart-wrenching stuff for anyone, but for a fan and student of Swift's work, this is like reading a friend's diary entry.

"Don't want no other shade of blue, but you" must be a reference to "Delicate," in which Swift sings: "Dark jeans and your Nikes, look at you / Oh damn, never seen that color blue." Later, she croons, "You know I left a part of me back in New York," perhaps regretting the move to London that she detailed throughout "Lover." 

"You knew it still hurts underneath my scars / From when they pulled me apart," recalling the public shaming she endured and demons she exorcised on "Reputation." "But what you did was just as dark." Like I said before: Whoa.

Personally, I love having a good cry set to moody music, so I appreciate Swift's soul-bearing. "Hoax" is one gut-punch of an album closer.

Larocca: Swift has a habit of ending her albums on an uplifting, hopeful note and I always eat it up. But if "Folklore" hadn't made it clear by now that it should be consumed differently than any of her previous works, "Hoax" brings that message home.  

Instead of reveling in all the ways that love has made her stronger, happier, or more whole, "Hoax" deconstructs everything Swift has learned about love and leaves a bleaker picture about how maybe even the best of relationships hurt. 

But at its most tragic, this love still isn't something Swift will ever let go of: "Don't want no other shade of blue but you / No other sadness in the world would do."  

Finishing a Taylor Swift album has never been so devastating.

Final Grade: 9.7/10

[hillbillyhippiemusicreview]

ALAN "CORDUROY" BROWN "LET ME KNOW" ALL ABOUT HIS MIRACULOUS 2021 AND THE ALBUM IT INSPIRED

The COVID-19 pandemic put undue stress on the music industry that we are just now starting to recover from. It's been a long, dark, and uncertain road for many--but unfortunately for some like musician Alan "Corduroy" Brown, lead singer and guitar player for the Huntington, West Virginia-based band Corduroy Brown, it was a true matter of life or death. In fact, Alan did succumb to the nightmare of COVID-19, just to be reborn with a new spark and outlook on life. Below is a transcribed interview between Hillbilly Hippie Music Review and Alan concerning his band’s upcoming album releasing on August 14th, "Let Me Know," and the personal experiences that influenced its conception.

----------------------------------------------------

L: Hi, Alan! We’re so glad to have you join us at HHMR today for a chat to get to know ya a little better. How are you doing?

C: Honestly....pretty great! Live music is BACK and it’s so cool to see all my friends creating and showing off their talents again.

L: That’s great to hear—and I think we can all agree with you on that notion! So, a little birdie told me that there is new music on the horizon—but, before we discuss that, I want to touch on the life-altering experience you underwent in 2021 and how that altered your overall outlook on life after your literal rebirth.

C: Someone asked if I was now afraid of dying, but I’m afraid of not living. There are a lot of things you learn in a hospital bed. In February, I thought that I’d be in and out of an urgent care, but ended up on a ventilator, in a helicopter, then put on ECMO life support. Apparently I died some time in that period, so when I got to Morganton, I was actually dead. You know the whole “white light” thing people talk about? It’s completely real. I could write a novel on all of that, but really, I learned that we’ve got a lot to figure out still. Regret hits you heavily. I thought about all the time that I wasted being upset about something/someone , or anytime I’ve been mad about anything. Like, there is a time and a place to be upset, but we have ONE time on this earth to violently pursue our passions and to love each other, while experiencing everything we can.

L: Wow. I can't even fathom what you felt as you rode on that proverbial rollercoaster, but I am SO very happy that you are still with us and sharing your gifts with the world. Speaking of those passions, with your band’s eclectic brand of folk-pop infused indie rock tunes, you’re one of our favorites here at HHMR. We’ve dug the little teaser of your upcoming single with your longtime friend Arlo McKinley and it’s got us stoked for the record release in August! Can you tell us how “Secret War” came about and what that experience was like?

C: This album has a beginning, middle, and end. It fits right in the middle of the whole book. Secret War started as a song of just appreciating everything I have. The first verse says: “I’ve been chillin’ with my head held high, nothing wrong but these untied shoes.” Later on, it turns a bit saying “ lost the battle, war still going.” Arlo comes in on the second verse and layers in the ideas of the battle we are fighting with ourselves all the time. I think we both ended up singing about people who we’ve met in our life that couldn’t handle us at our worst times. It’s a dream to work with Arlo. He’s a genuine human and a loyal friend who was super stoked to be part of this whole thing.

L: Awesome!! As far as the record as a whole, the debut album for Corduroy Brown, is it a concept piece like a story from start to finish, or is it just a collection of some of your favorite songs written from your journey in life? Describe it for us.

C: It’s a story front to back. I included a lot of interludes in between the songs that contain voicemails that people have left me. There’s an interlude where you hear me walking while going to therapy, and the familiar sound of the elevator at the St. James building in Huntington. This album is my life captured from 2017 to now. I finally feel like I got it all off my chest. I honestly feel like I haven’t written my best stuff yet, but this album was necessary to let out everything I’ve let build up for a long time.

L: I love how you've incorporated those moments to create the interludes. Writing is quite cathartic and I imagine releasing your story out into the world like this can be a form of music therapy itself, not only for yourself but for others! In addition to the single with Arlo, are there any other collaborations on the record we can expect to hear?

C: Oh gosh. So many people made this happen. It’s as much mine as it is everyone else's. The album is called Let Me Know because so many people have always said “let me know” if you need anything, or “let me know” what I can do for it. -- Massing, The Dead Frets, from Huntington. A lot of my closest friends like my life mentor and his son are on the album. Jacob from Jewel City Barbershop. The list goes on for awhile, haha.

L: As I always say, "teamwork makes the dreamwork!" That is such a cool concept that you've seamlessly woven into the title and throughout the record, since at times "Let Me Know" seems to just be a cliché that people say. But you and the band have demonstrated how actions *can* match the words! Now, tell me. I've got to know—how did you come up with the name, “Corduroy Brown?” What does it mean to you?

C: Gosh, I can never answer this question. I need someone to figure out a cool story for this. I have no idea.

L: Haha—that's fair! It's a rad name, cool story or not! So for something you can describe, tell me about the music. Since your music is so eclectic and defies the bounds of any one genre, how would YOU describe it?

C: I think technically it’s Rock/Pop/Indie? I don’t know. I grew up listening to Michael Jackson, I love Paramore, and I listen to Miranda Lambert everyday. The sound is all over the place because some of these songs are as old as 2017. You grow up and you change. I think the music captured different parts of my life when these songs were born.

L: "You grow up and you change" is such a true statement. In terms of growing up, I want to backtrack for a moment for readers unfamiliar with you, Alan. Can you tell us a bit about your history and background in music, from childhood to the evolution of your band? Has your heart always been set on being a musician?

C: No one in my family is musical, haha. But in 2008, my mom bought me a Fender CD60 guitar. I wanted to be like the kids who played at school. I stepped into the music scene with a band called The Dividends. Kind of like a RnB/Rock group. We had a really good run, but hung it up in 2019. I think I’ve always wanted this, but now I KNOW that this is what I’m supposed to be doing. Corduroy is composed of some of the A Team of Huntington musicians. We’re good friends first, musicians second. That’s a great combination to make good tunes.

L: I certainly think you are where you're meant to be! Throughout your life, who were your biggest musical influences? Favorite band? Best show you’ve ever seen? Most influential music experience that stands out in your mind? How did all of these sounds and experiences shape you as an artist?

C: I’ve been a complete Paramore fan from their first album. Their “After Laughter” album in 2017 is on constant repeat in my car. I actually listen to a LOT of female artists. Paramore, Lights, Chrvches, Kasey Musgraves. The best show I’ve ever seen was Cage the Elephant. Some of the rowdier songs lean in that direction. The album is kind of all over the place sonically.....it’s not uncommon for a road trip playlist to go from Migos, [to] Chelsea Nolan, to Slipknot.

L: You know, an album always stands out in my mind if it is sonically diverse, giving listeners a true lyrical and musical portraiture of who the artist is. Being a songwriter myself and songwriting nerd, I’m always intrigued by the writer’s process. How did your songs for this project evolve—from conception of the idea to the finished product?

C: I think when I brought these songs to Jeffrey McClelland, I only had a couple finished ideas. They morphed a lot from the start to finish. It’s crazy listening to the original compositions now. Some songs just happen before you even know they’re happening. Some of them take a lot of love. It takes me forever to write songs because I want to make sure I mean every single word and every single note. I’m envious of people like Taylor Swift who can write so many songs from so many different perspectives. It just seems effortless for her.

L: Oh my goodness—same here! Taylor Swift is actually the reason I started writing over a decade ago, because at the time in country music it was so refreshing to have a young female coming into a male-dominated industry breaking down barriers, all the while writing her own stuff and controlling her musicality. Speaking of breaking down barriers, in your community, you’re a well-known activist for topics still clouded with societal stigmas today, such as mental health and LBGTQUIA rights. Why is it so important to you to incorporate these topics into your music and performances?

C: Therapy and medicine saved my life. Everyone should go to therapy whether they think so or not. Logic is so hard to come by when your headspace is burying you. Chemicals affect our thoughts, thoughts affect our actions, actions become habits. We have to get control of that chain of command [and] it’s 2021. It’s hard to imagine that there are still people opposed to LBGTQUIA anything. Life is so short. Love who you love. I can’t imagine being so upset with the way that someone else is happy [and] I will forever be an ally to everyone I can. Huntington’s Pride Fest is in October of this year and you best believe I will be there. Loud and proud.

L: You are such a good human, Alan, and the world is beyond blessed to exist at a time that you do! Love is power, no matter how you look at it. When you think about Let Me Know and the impact it can have on listeners and the music community as a whole, especially in reference to your journey earlier this year, what is the biggest takeaway you hope fans have after digesting the album? What legacy do you want to leave on the world?

C: We get in our own way so many times. Take every chance on yourself. The first person I could call when I got off of life support was my friend Chris (who plays bass in Corduroy) [and] I literally said “WE GET TO RELEASE THIS ALBUM.” I remember when I was doubting even playing music again after the Dividends.

Seriously, do everything. Hold back nothing. Pursue life with a violent passion. Don’t let your final days be filled with regret. Do it all. There’s a lot of fun in this album. Kind of like dancing, but maybe crying at the same time.

L: YES! I've got chills--that is so true, and what I try to make people realize. Our days are limited, so don't be afraid to live your truth out loud. Now for some more lighthearted questions—if you weren’t writing and playing music, what would you be doing with your life?

C: Shewwww. I have no idea! I would love to be a public speaker or a high school teacher maybe? I’ve really considered being a PTA. I love the chance to directly help people, face to face. Extroverted jobs suit me perfectly.

L: You definitely have a genuine smile and charismatic personality that draw folks to you like a moth to a flame, but HHMR is so glad you decided to pursue your passions in music. Are there hidden talents you have? If so what are the most useful, useless, or weird?

C: I’m literally not cool at all really. lol.

L: LIES! You're cooler than the flip side of our pillow, yo. Unfortunately, it's time to draw this lovely chat to a close with the final question. Last but not least, what is your spirit animal?

C: I took an online test real quick before answering this. I got a wolf. I can kind of see some of that with the leadership qualities I have, but I feel like a bear or elephant? Laid back, but also powerful.

L: Hmm....I can vibe with the the bear idea. Easy to love, gives great bear hugs, but will fight for what he cares about....perfect for you, Alan! Thank you so much for joining us today and letting us know all about you.

“Secret War,” the first single with Arlo McKinley will be available July 15th. The full debut album from Corduroy Brown is set to release August 14th. Pre-save the single at the link below:

———————————————————————

*This is an independent article. The Hillbilly Hippie Music Review was not compensated for this interview.

*The opinions expressed are solely that of the author(s).

*These images are not ours, nor do we claim them in any way. They are copyrighted by the artist and photographers.

[cherrystreet]

hey! i was just thinking, that i've been listening to the songs harry requested on radio 1 and they've been stuck in my head for so long omg. and like, i'm not connecting the songs he requested to larry, but with each song a little scenario ab them plays in my head! was wondering if you could write little snippets based on a couple of the songs? sweetest devotion by adele and issues by julia michaels!

I got really carried away with this; I combined both of these songs and very subtly put a few of the lyrics into a mess of 3k. I hope this works for you xx

Louis watches the build up and break over a period of months. Years, even. Harry’s tired. They both are, but Harry’s exceptionally so. He’s been working nonstop on his album, his photography, himself, and now that he’s back in the limelight all day, everyday, it’s taking a serious toll. Louis doesn’t say anything or imply that Harry needs to slow down, but he wants to, just isn’t quite sure how. Harry’s been a little moodier, a little more on edge, and the whole time Louis is trying to figure out a way to approach the subject lightly, it seems that Harry has already given it just as much thought as Louis has, if not more.

“I think I wanna take some time off,” he says one night just before bed. He’s in the middle of changing his pants, tripping into them like he always does. “Like, hide, maybe?” The way he says it makes it sound like he’s asking for permission from Louis, just to make sure they’re currently at the same level.

Louis raises a brow from his position in bed and looks up, relieved, worried. “Yeah? Like go on an extended holiday?”

“Mmm, something like that.”

“Care to elaborate?”

Harry crawls into bed beside him, shirtless and shoulders pink from his sunburn. The weather was mild and about 10 degrees today - typical for January - but they spent the majority of the day outside, anyway, Harry lounging in the backyard, ignoring Louis’ request to venture out. Paps, he said simply, going back to shielding his eyes from the LA sun.

“I rented out a place in Maine,” he says, reaching for his reading glasses on the bedside table. He doesn’t really need them, but no matter how much Louis teases him about it, he continues to wear them, squinting without them. Dramatic. “I’m not even really sure where it is, but I know it’s right on a lake, it’s in the woods, it’s secluded, it’s…” He sighs. “Not here.”

Louis’ stomach tightens. “You trying to get away from me, Styles?”

“No, God no.” Harry shakes his head, curls finally grown back in and bouncing. “I’m trying to take a break from everything, but that doesn’t include you. You can come with me, if you want. But don’t feel obligated to. I know how much you love it here. And that you like writing here best.”

I love it here because you’re here. “I’m comin’ with,” he replies eventually.

“You want to?”

“Yes. You’re a bit strange for wanting to fuck off to the middle of nowhere but. I’m used to your weirdness by this point. No judgement here. I’ll come with.”

Harry smirks, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose like Louis always does. Copy cat. “Good.”

“So, when’re we leaving?”

“Thursday morning.”

“Christ, you’re an impulsive lad, aren’t you?”

“I suppose.”

“Makes life interesting.”

Harry nods, reaching for the remote for the telly, then setting it back down. “I’m very happy. I really am. I just need a change, yeah?”

“It’s okay to, like, want to step back,” Louis says softly. “You don’t have to be grateful and positive every second of the day. Wanting to escape is probably the most normal thing I can think of.”

He’s quiet for a moment, probably thinking. He purses his lips when he looks at Louis. “Thank you.”

“Absolutely.”

“And you’re gonna escape with me? Until you’re tired of me?”

Louis smiles, turning off his bedside light. “Absolutely.”

Maine is fucking cold. Painfully cold. Being on the water does nothing to help that, and Louis spends the first week inside, wrapped in blankets and jumpers, the tip of his nose now permanently red. Harry makes him tea, all the while repeatedly saying, “It’s so gorgeous out here. The water seems so still under the ice. Look at all the snow. The trees. There are so many.”

Louis just rolls his eyes, jamming his toes under Harry’s thighs. “Yes, yes, nature is amazing. Would be more appreciative if it wasn’t so bloody freezing.”

The cabin is nothing to brag about. The kitchen is far from gourmet, the appliances old and creaky, and though there are three bedrooms, they’re all small, cramped. The living space offers next to nothing other than an old wood stove (which quickly becomes Louis’ best friend), and the entire space is outdated, in desperate need of some serious love. Louis keeps his mouth shut, though, because Harry is the happiest Louis has seen him since he got back from touring. He’s lounging, he’s playing his guitar, he’s fucking smiling, and Louis can’t stop staring at him, not worried for the first time in ages.

January ticks by quickly, the silence around them both calming and unnerving. It takes a while to get used to not having an agenda, not mapping out their day according to where paparazzi and nosy fans are, but once they figure out how to appreciate the new environment, Louis feels light. He turns off his phone for the majority of the day, the owls hooting and coyotes howling the soundtrack to their nights instead of constant beeping and ringing, and even though he gives Harry shit for essentially writing love songs about all that Maine has to offer, he’s finding himself embracing the change, too. He sleeps better than he has in months, the cold air numbing his lungs, his mind, dead tired by the time he slides under the duvet cover beside Harry each night. And though Louis knew Harry had been tense in months prior, he hadn’t realized how stressed he’d actually been. He has a comparison now, though, can see the way the bags under Harry’s eyes are clearing up, can see the brightness back in his grin, isn’t blind to the way he seems to be a little touchier than usual, fumbling into bed with Louis before it’s dark out, his hands restless and his mouth hot. On Harry’s birthday, they get stuck at the cabin, snowed in, but it doesn’t matter. Louis wakes him up slowly, Harry whining low in his throat the whole time, and when Louis does his best to make breakfast in bed with the limited ingredients they have in the kitchen, Harry acts like it’s the best gift he’s ever received. Louis almost believes him.

The shadows outside from the trees are long, ominous, and beg to be touched. Pine trees, oak trees; they’re all strong and sturdy and bare, the tops of them disappearing against the inky black sky, stars bright and unclouded by smog like in the city. The firewood snaps, the steam from mugs swirl up, their breath comes out like smoke in wisps. Heavy blankets feel like weights, heavy and safe. The yard is white. The lake is frozen. Sometimes, when Harry is finally fast asleep, his breathing even and his mind finally shut off, Louis will sneak out and stand out on the back deck, shaking in the cold, numb, could scream if his lungs would work, but it wouldn’t matter because no one is around to hear him.

It’s rejuvenating, it’s the best therapy he’s ever had, and damn Harry for knowing exactly what they both needed, somehow. Louis hadn’t realized how stuffed up he was, too, was so focused on Harry’s well being that he hadn’t realized he was also under the pressure of it all.

They’re incognito. Anonymous. Louis has never felt so exposed, so secluded. He never wants to go back.

Spring rolls in from out of nowhere; Louis has flown back to LA four times, home to his family twice, and to Miami once for a promise to record with a new group of people. When he’s gone, he misses the cabin, misses Harry, but finds himself feeling refreshed when he’s back to work, back with his people. It’s a nice balance for once.

Harry only leaves Maine twice, though, seemingly happy to stay locked away, exploring the woods, hiking and creating his own paths up and down muddy walkways. Louis invites him to come away with him but Harry just shrugs and says, “I’m good, baby, thank you.”

The ice melts away, the flowers emerge. It’s cooler in the mornings and evenings, afternoon temperatures comfortable with a light jacket on. They make dinner together and eat out on the back deck, watching the waves lap up against the dock, and they talk about their writing, what’s going on in their heads. Harry doesn’t tense up like he has over the course of the past year when Louis asks what he’s worked on today, and instead, lights up when he passes Louis his leather bound notebook across the table. His handwriting is messy but precise as always, and Louis nods along as he reads through the second verse.

“This,” he says. “This part is great.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Louis confirms. “Phenomenal, really. Jealous I didn’t think of it first.”

Harry smirks, dimple poking out, and Louis wants to stick his finger in it. “Could’ve, if you spent more than ten minutes sitting still.”

“Hey, I do.”

“Sleeping doesn’t count.”

Louis shrugs. “Whatever. As long as you’re feeling good about where you are right now.”

“I am.”

“I’m glad.”

Spring in Maine is different than spring anywhere else Louis has lived. The leaves seem to bloom all at once, the branches grey and bare on Wednesday, green and thick by Thursday. The ground smells like dirt and wildflowers and new. The rain sweeps in every other day out of nowhere. It coats the pavement and grass, beading against the blades, sounds like pop rocks across the lake. It lulls Louis to sleep almost every time.

At the end of May, Harry has 18 songs complete, sings them so often that Louis has them memorized. Louis asks Harry if he’s ready to get back to LA and record, or maybe find some remote location somewhere to set up, like Juneau or the Keys or a tiny island off the coast of Ireland. Harry shakes his head.

“Nope. I’m good. Still want to be here.”

Louis just nods antsy.

June, July, and August are bloody hot, the humidity stifling. Louis wakes up with Harry plastered to his back every morning, stuck together from sweat, and he feels like he can’t breathe, suffocating in more ways than one. There’s no air conditioning, so Louis spends the majority of his time in the water, hissing from the shock of it when he dives into the wake. Harry typically joins him, ducking down to lick the water droplets off his collarbone, his neck. It feels good, being in their bubble, Harry’s hands wandering without consequences.

The lightning bugs come out half nine every night, mirroring the lightning streaking across the sky, and Harry says it’s for them, their own private show. Louis murmurs under his breath, “Well, no one’s here, Harry, who else would it be for?” Harry doesn’t answer that, just pulls Louis in closer, eyelashes sweeping across his cheekbones.

“You don’t have to stay,” he whispers.

“You don’t, either,” Louis counters.

“I’m just not ready to jump back into the speed of what used to be. I feel like I’m being more productive now than I’ve ever been, while I’m unwinding. Simultaneously.”

He gets that, understands completely. But. “It’s been awhile, love.”

“Okay, yeah, I know.”

Louis waits for Harry to say something else, but he doesn’t, just clinks his ice around in his glass, water sloshing over the side. The frogs are croaking, the crickets are chirping, and it’s the first time that Louis wants to shut it all off.

He heads back to LA for good just before the leaves start to transform into golds, reds, oranges, yellows, browns. Harry sends him pictures every morning, telling Louis he’s missing the views, followed by, I’m missing the views, too, if you know what I mean. Louis rolls his eyes at that and replies with, Come to LA and you can get a full show. Harry doesn’t come back, though, and Louis doesn’t expect him to.

It’s hard, missing Harry this much for the first time in ages, especially when he knows Harry still isn’t quite right. He can’t halt his life, though, can’t hole up in the woods forever, touching and kissing and listening to Harry’s pen scrawl across paper at three in the morning. It’s not realistic to continue to hide away, not when they both have so much waiting for them.

“We both clearly have some issues,” Louis says through the phone late one night in October. LA was hot today, but Harry told him he’s comfortable in a jumper and trackies, a little chilly, even. It feels like they’re worlds away, and not just on opposite ends of the country. “But you can’t keep yourself off the grid. Not forever.”

“I didn’t say it was forever,” Harry argues. “It’s not like I’ve been glued to this house. I’ve been home to see my mum and Gemma. I went to Sydney last month. I’ve been back to LA with you.”

“Yeah, once.”

“Lou, I need to do this for me. I did it for us, really, but now you’re gone and you’ve figured out how to settle but I haven’t. Not quite yet. You’re always one step ahead and I’m just trying to catch up.”

Louis swallows, picking at a scab on his knee. He has no idea where it came from. “See, that’s funny, because I always feel like we’re on exactly the same page.”

“You know what I mean.”

“I’m not sure I do.” He pauses to clench and unclench his jaw. “I love you. And I hope you’re feeling the way you want to feel. I’m trying to be supportive but I also want to slap you and, like, I haven’t seen you in six weeks and it’s just. Come home.”

“Baby, when I come home, I’m heading straight for you. First thing.” Harry breathes through the phone for a beat. “I miss you. So much. Stepping away from the public was exactly what I needed. I know you can tell how much better I sound. How much healthier.”

Louis nods, because it’s true. “Yeah.”

“The next step would have been stepping away from. Everything.” He doesn’t have to explain further for Louis to know he’s implying breakup. “I had to. And guess what.”

He pauses to exhale. “What.”

“I’ve written another album. Like, 53 songs that I’m trying to sort though. I’ve never felt more at peace with myself. With you. I haven’t missed you like this in ages. I forgot what it felt like to love this hard. And, like, I don’t want us to be tired of one another. Tell me if you are.” His voice wavers, just slightly. “Because I feel like now I’m on my way to being fixed, and in turn, that fixed everything else. Even things that didn’t need major repairs. Like us.”

Louis squeezes his eyes shut. “Never gonna be tired of you.”

“Thank God,” Harry whispers. “Hey, Lou.”

“Harry.”

“I had to use the heated blanket last night.”

“Was it really that cold?”

“No, but usually I have someone in bed with me and he’s pretty warm. Felt lonely.”

Louis smiles, shaking his head. “Put on wool socks next time.”

“Good advice.”

Over the course of the next month, Louis isn’t sure where they stand. They’re together, but Harry isn’t as communicative, and nothing feels reassuring anymore. Louis has to resist the urge to call and fight with him, just to put his negative energy somewhere, unsure of where else to put it, and he can’t believe he’s jealous of a Goddamn cabin. Louis has never been as devoted to anything in his entire life, nothing more than Harry, but he doesn’t know how to figure it all out on his own.

Turns out, he doesn’t have to.

He comes home to his boy lounging on their couch on a Tuesday night in November. He looks like he never left, bag of crisps on his lap, fucking wool socks covering his feet. He tips his head back and looks over the back of the couch when he hears Louis walk in.

“Hi, baby,” he says, the look on his face evident that he’s pleased with himself, sneaking through LAX without being seen, without Louis knowing. “‘m back.”

“I can see that.” Louis saunters over, not thinking about it as he carefully climbs astride Harry’s hips. He looks so good, smiling in that Harry way of his. “Decided to show up with no warning?”

Harry drops the bag onto the coffee table in favor of sliding his hands up and down Louis’ back. “Wanted to be a surprise.”

“I’ll say.”

“A good one, I hope.”

“Still thinking about it.”

He smirks, hands still moving. “You look gorgeous.”

“Obviously.”

Harry snorts and rolls his eyes. “Wish you’d seen some of autumn. Best season, by far. I swear, the lake looks orange from the reflection of the leaves. You’d love it. Gonna have to go back with you there someday.” He backtracks when he sees the look on Louis’ face. “For, like, a long weekend.”

He laughs, pressing his forehead to Harry’s. “Don’t think I’d love it as much as I love having you back here.”

“You and my manager.”

Louis needs to make sure: “You didn’t come back here for him, though, right.”

“No. I didn’t. Being away… It didn’t feel like home anymore. I needed time to refocus and recenter. I missed.” Harry looks up. He looks young, like the Harry Louis fell in love with so many moons ago. “A lot of things. But mostly you. Can’t wait to get you in the studio with me and show you what I have so far. And just can’t wait to start living again, yeah? You know what I mean? I’m ready to do this.”

Louis doesn’t have to ask what ‘this’ is. He knows. He feels it.

And maybe they are on the same page.

[passionfruitsonvenus-blog]

Fuego's Texas Burrito best crowned - As a longtime resident of Cincinnati and a great fan of Mexican food, I've always been looking for the miraculous treasure that is the best Burrito in all of Cincinnati and beyond.

Fuego's Texas Burrito best crowned - As a longtime resident of Cincinnati and a great fan of Mexican food, I've always been looking for the miraculous treasure that is the best Burrito in all of Cincinnati and beyond. I've always had a real personal relationship with good food (like all of us, I'm sure) almost to the extent I'm obsessed with food like some people need to smoke and even drugs. My years of research to come to this conclusion about me have resulted in many nightly tours in various Mexican restaurants around the city. During these different nights of research I quickly came to the knowledge that I especially loved nothing more than Burritos. This quest for self-knowledge has led me to the most important task since ... to find the best Burrito EVER. My friends and family have always thought I was crazy because of my obsession with my quest for the best husband but I tirelessly erased them as ignorant and jealous of my future success. Even before Burritos became popular by a certain burrito chain restaurant, I was already aware that one day burritos would become the main object of every meal. Although my vision is still not fully realized, I see the beginning of what I call "Burrito Era," and that vision will slowly become apparent after the revolution started. Millions of people will gather to create a revolution to engage burrito as one of the main food groups. Highlight my words: it comes and change is on the way, if it's not already here. The first hint of change now begins with the great discovery of Texas Burrito from the Mexican Grill, a local restaurant in Batavia, Ohio, outside Cincinnati. This small jewel is located between the golf course and the cigarette store near the city of Batavia. From the gaze beyond this small hole in the wall, you would never realize it was ever recorded as the best burrito. But once you enter and you try this most important treat of the entire menu, Texas Burrito, you will find that Fuego's Mexican Grill is worthy to rule as Best Burrito EVER creator. Size, Shape, Scent, Taste and overall composition are key factors that need to be considered in order to objectively analyze all the contestants with whom you have the pleasure to study. By the way, Fuego's Texas Burrito surpasses the rest I've ever tested far. Fuego's Texas Burrito is the greatest I've ever had the pleasure to meet. This burrito is literally long, long in the form of a cylinder (of course) and about 6 cm in diameter. Texas Burrito is not a thin, burrito that can be found elsewhere. This burrito is a man burrito, Argh ... it even seems to make you feel more masculine after the end of this feast movies torrent If you look at this incredible piece of beauty that did not have enough water, the smell will surely take you over the edge. Smells simply divine, exquisite, and even heavenly! A wonderful aroma of all kinds of spices in meat, beans and rice fills the entire body even before the first bite. When you take the first tear of this glorious heavenly blaze, you are so full of anticipations that you think you will be disappointed because everything you have seen and felt could not live up to your expectations in flavor. But it fulfills your expectations and leads you to a higher degree of gratitude for the exceptional ingredients that create a perfectly balanced and unforgettable combination of beautiful flavors. Before you figure this out, you lose this huge burrito that looks almost too small for your new, infinite appetite for this piece of perfection. Your concern about the composition is not relevant at this point, although for a fraction of a second you realize that Texas Burrito is well-versed thanks to the strategic position of all its ingredients. This burrito is neither too wet nor too stiff. That's ... perfection in the plate! When you're ready to eat the whole thing, go back to the ground and realize that you've been eating all the time, you were so immersed and focused on the whole experience you forgot and ignored everything except you were ONE with that Texas Burrito. This intimate experience you've created while you are eating is the only indicator you need to know in your being that you've just had BEST BURRITO EVER! Revolution is coming!