#in acotar 6 beron will get lucien second eye

[lainalit]

[shadowisles-writes]

Innocent (Part 2)

A/N: Here I am with the second part of my gift to @kingofsummer93 for the ACOTAR gift exchange <3 I haven't been able to touch my laptop in days so it took some time but I'm excited to work towards the juicy parts of this fic.

Summary: Lucien had always thought his life would be normal—or as normal as it could be growing up in a werewolf hunting family. All it took was one full moon for the truth to unravel in front of him and force him to make hard decisions. His fate was forever changed, and no amount of trying running from it could prevent it from catching up to him.

Thank you @rosanna-writer for the beta <3

Read on AO3

Salt streams out my eyes and into my ears Every single thing I touch becomes sick with sadness - Bigger Than The Whole Sky, Taylor Swift

Chapter Text

6 years ago - Lucien

As he had predicted, the soft brown shade of Elain’s hair was visible through the small window in his door the next day. Lucien had been dreading the minutes passing by since school had ended. For a few seconds he had fooled himself into thinking her father would make her go straight home and he would have more time to think of a way to leave her without hurting her.

“Good afternoon, Mrs. Vanserra.” Elain nodded politely after cracking the door to his room open.

Her eyes scanned Lucien’s body in the bed quickly, lingering on his face until a slight frown appeared on her face. He didn’t smile at her and glanced away after a few seconds.

“Good afternoon dear.” His mother managed a smile. “I’m going to get some fresh air.”

Elain waited for her to leave the room before she rushed to Lucien’s side and dropped into the seat by his bed. 

“Oh god Lucien, what happened to you?” She reached for his hand, but he removed it from the mattress before she could touch him.

The flash of hurt on her face was enough to make him clench his jaw to keep tears at bay. “You shouldn’t have come,” he gritted out.

“What are you talking about?” Elain folded her hands in her lap, wringing them together like she had done in his car before a big test just a few days ago.

Back then, he had covered her hand with his to help soothe her nervous tell, but those times were over. Lucien forced his eyes away from her fingers, so often laced between his that he used to plan his lunches so he’d only need one hand to eat.

“Why aren’t you at practice?”

“Because you’re laying in a hospital bed after what I can only guess was a severe car accident.” She said it like it was obvious, but her face was obviously controlled, too blank to be honest. Lucien had always been able to tell when she was hurt, even when she was trying to hide it. The way she forced the corners of her mouth to stay still was an obvious tell, as was the slight pinch between her brows. “What happened?”

“It doesn’t matter,” he could only hope he was better at hiding his feelings than she was if he wanted his plan to work. “I’m leaving, Elain.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’m moving,” he bit out, his eyes finally meeting hers with a glare. He didn’t want to answer any other questions, he couldn’t keep looking at her like this, he needed this nightmare to end. “I’ll be gone by the end of the week.”

“But- Is- How did that happen?” Elain blinked a couple of times, confused. “Is it Beron? I don’t understand why he’d want to move-”

“He’s not.” Lucien cut her off. “I’m moving, just me.”

The reality of where the conversation was going dawned on Elain and her eyes filled with tears. “Why?”

“Because I can’t be here anymore. This place, this life, I don’t want it. I just want to leave.”

I’m lying, Lucien wanted to tell her. I’m lying, I’m sorry, I need you to be safe . He would never get to say them to her, and it was this truth he drew his anger from. Anger was all he had left to get through this, so he clung to it with all his might.

“And we’re not even going to talk about it?” Elain’s voice broke halfway through her sentence, her lower lip trembling.

“There’s nothing to talk about.” Lucien scoffed and wished she could just hate him already.

“Just yesterday we were-”

“We were what, Elain? Stealing five minutes of time before your father locked you back into the house?” He forced himself to watch the horror on her face as the words hit and made sure he drove his point home. “That’s not a life, hasn’t been for months, and it never will be.”

“You promised me,” she whispered, her breaths unsteady as tears rolled down her reddened cheeks.

“I lied. You should leave.” Lucien nodded toward the door and stared at it, unable to watch her crumpling face for another second.

“Clearly,” Elain sniffled as she gathered her coat. “I don’t even know what to say to you.”

“I do. Why are you still here?” Lucien met her eyes for the last time and knew it had worked when she steeled her face into a mask of anger.

“Fuck you,” Elain choked out just before she slammed the door closed behind herself.

She wasn’t even out of his sight when she braced her hand against a wall and broke into sobs.

Present day - Elain

The flower shop was bright from the sunlight streaming through the window. Elain was humming to herself as she placed her flowers around the various stands for customers to browse. It was a quiet week day, but the morning had been busy enough and she expected more customers to come closer to the evening.

The quiet bell she had installed by the door rang, but she didn’t glance back long enough to see who had walked in.

“Good morning,” Elain greeted cheerfully. She made sure the bouquet was secure and wouldn’t fall on a customer before she turned around. “What can I help you with-” Her sentence died on her tongue as she recognized him.

His long red hair and mismatched hazel and russet eyes were something she would never forget, even with the new scar cutting through his left eyebrow, over his eyelid and down to the middle of his cheek. Neither would she forget the way he had abandoned her. Her mouth was dry, and she had to clear her through before his name fell from her lips. “Lucien.”

“Elain,” he whispered, as surprised to see her as she was to see him.

“What do you need?” she asked in a tone drier than she had ever used with a customer before.

The question only made him look sadder. “Jasmines, and pink peonies, please.”

“You know, there’s a florist a couple of blocks from here that specializes in peonies, I’m sure they’ll have more shades of pink to choose from than I will.”

“They’re closed. I just… need the flowers, please.” He remained where he was, not making a move to come to her counter. Elain didn’t know him anymore, but it didn’t take much to see his eyes were red from exhaustion and probably crying.

He’s just a customer, she thought to herself and took a deep breath to sound professional again.

“Give me a moment,” Elain went to the back of her shop and retrieved three peonies. “Which shade?”

“This one, please,” he didn’t hesitate.

“How many stems? I’ll balance the jasmine from that.”

“Twelve.”

“I’ll just be a couple of minutes.”

There was plenty of working space at the counter in the shop. Elain typically arranged her bouquets there to talk to her customers, but there was nothing she wanted less than to make small talk with Lucien. The cameras showed no one else was coming in, and Lucien was simply waiting.

After all of these years, she could hardly believe it was him, and yet, every time she glanced at the screen she recognized the face that used to be so familiar to her. Before today, Elain had never believed people who couldn’t handle running into their exes. She had run-ins with men she dated during her degree, and it was always awkward but it had never been unbearable. Except Lucien was more than an ex, he had been her first love, and the only heartbreak that she thought she might never recover from.

“Dammit,” Elain cursed as she tied the stems together, her eyes stinging and filling with tears.

Lucien

Lucien didn’t know what to do with himself as he waited for Elain to come back with the flowers. On any other day of the year, he would have tried to talk to her, but his chest felt hollow this morning. Even seeing his first love wasn’t enough to get a reaction out of him, and on days like these he often believed nothing ever would.

Elain must have talked to him when she placed the peonies and jasmine in front of him, but Lucien only answered with the bare minimum as he finalized the transaction. He had done nothing with his day but come to this shop and yet he was exhausted already.

His feet carried him back to his car and he drove to his destination almost mechanically, following the unfortunately familiar road to the tall iron gate. He parked beside it, the structure looming over him as he began his walk down the graveled path.

Tombstone after tombstone lined the way, some well flowered, others beaten down by the weather and lack of care. Lucien clutched the flowers in his hands as he walked through the cemetery with blurred vision. He had come every day for weeks after the funeral, so there was no need to see as his feet carried him without thinking to the familiar gray stone. He blinked just enough to clear his eyes and read the words.

In loving memory of Jesminda Halls

His knees hit the grass with a quiet thud. 

Lucien had no chance of controlling the way his entire body shook from a sob. “I’m sorry,” he whispered with his eyes closed.

Even after three years, there was no controlling the torrent of tears that fell from his eyes. None of his apologies would ever bring her back, and his flowers suddenly felt like a pathetic gesture to make himself feel better. It wasn’t working by any means, but Lucien hiccuped through the tears and brought a hand to his face to try to stifle his sobs.

The pads of his fingers pressed on the scar on his cheek, looking to bring back the pain the wound had caused, just so he could feel something. It was long healed, but for months past the incident Lucien had picked at it and made it bleed over and over again. Werewolves hardly ever scarred, the others had told him, but Lucien couldn’t handle watching himself heal when Jesminda never would. Months of reopening his wounds had caused the scars to become permanent, and he now got to see the reminder of his shame every time he saw himself in a mirror.

“I thought I’d find you here.” A hand came to rest on his shoulder, squeezing gently to steady him through his crying.

Lucien couldn’t form words in his state, although he mouthed the words I’m sorry over and over until his lips were trembling too hard and he had to bite down on them.

“You might still not believe me, but it wasn’t your fault Lucien,” Helion added as he crouched beside him, his hand resting in the middle of his back.

3 years ago - Lucien

“Please just let me come Lucien,” Jesminda pouted as she hung from his neck. “I’ll stay inside during the night, I’m sure it’ll be fine.”

“Not yet.” He leaned down to kiss her before he continued, “Full moons are still tough; I want to make sure I’m in complete control before I can be around you.”

“You’ve been in control for months,” she argued.

Lucien gently ran his thumb over her cheek. “Mostly, but I’m not taking any chances.”

“You know who you would never hurt on a full moon?” Jesminda leaned into his touch, turning her head to kiss his palm.

“I’m sure you’re about to tell me.”

“Your true mate.”

Lucien laughed and dropped his hand to her waist. “How about I make sure I don’t have any murderous tendencies before we go prove that theory right, mmh?”

“Please?” Jesminda pleaded again. “All the others are old, and they’ll be in control. That’s extra safe.”

“Not happening.”

“Pretty please?”

Lucien smiled and brought her body against his. “I’ll be back in a few days. I love you, Jes.”

“I love you too.” She sighed and kissed him one more time. “Stay safe.”

“You too.”

Lucien was gone minutes later, a duffel bag thrown into the back of Helion’s car as he drove the two of them to a remote location where they could feel the effects of the full moon without worrying about any humans being hurt. He still remembered the first time he had sat in that passenger seat, feeling like he was going to burst out of his skin even though the full moon was still three days away. The trip has lasted the whole week, his unresolved anger against his mother and Helion doing nothing to help him get his instincts under control.

Almost three years later, Lucien and Helion laughed together in the car, their relationship having grown and their trip never lasting more than three days. Helion had been saying for a couple of months that going that far had become unnecessary with the improvement of Lucien’s control, but it was their only time alone together.

It took endless calls with his mother and many interventions from Helion to help him understand what had happened before and after his birth was for the best now. For months, Lucien had mourned his old life, but nothing could make him go back to that town now. Living in Beron’s house had been hell, and finding a father figure in Helion had healed more parts of him than he knew possible.

Sometimes, his thoughts drifted to Elain and his heart filled with regret on how he had handled things with her, but he no longer longed to run away and find his way back to her. Lucien was in the present with Jesminda, with Helion and the other werewolves he had met who quickly became like family to him.

Jesminda

Somewhere just out of sight of Helion’s car, Jesminda weaved in and out of traffic to keep track of them without obviously following them. She knew Lucien wouldn’t think to check the mirrors to see if she was there, and Helion wouldn’t recognise the make of the friend’s car she had borrowed.

All she wanted was to prove to Lucien that it was safe for them to be around each other and for him to know that despite being human, she was ready to accept every part of him, even when he was losing himself to instincts as a werewolf. She kept far behind when they exited the highway and turned into a smaller country road. There weren’t a lot of possible turns from there, and Jesminda remembered enough from what Lucien had told her to be able to find the cabin they would be at.

To make sure Lucien wouldn’t spot her and argue to send her away, she parked by the side of the road for several minutes to let them get ahead. Later on, she passed the three villages Lucien had described in the past, all the way until the decrepit reddish barn that was on the verge of collapsing on the side of the road. Jesminda took the next left, her car shaking on the rocky dirt road.

It took longer than she thought to reach the cabin, but she had been driving slow to make sure she didn’t approach too loudly. The treeline mostly hid her car, but she could see a few others were parked by the cabin, including Helion’s car. Knowing exactly where they were, Jesminda backed up and turned around to wait for nightfall.

If she came close to the cabin once the moon was out, Lucien wouldn’t be able to send her away. He’d see it was safe for them to stay together at all times, and he would no longer hide from her during full moons.

The wait in her car was long, but it was fall and the days kept getting shorter. Soon enough, the sun bathed the forest in golden light. Jesminda smiled to herself, already thinking of the sunrise she’d get to watch with Lucien in the morning. Her mate . She knew he was, was so convinced of it that she was ready to put her life on the line to prove it. Lucien’s reluctance to let her was only proof of how much he loved her too, but soon he would never have to worry about hurting her again.

When the sun fell past the tree line and left space to a sky illuminated by a full moon so bright it hid the stars around it, Jesminda started her car again. Her heart beat faster with excitement, a small smile on her lips as she slowly pulled up to the cabin.

Lucien was impossible to miss. He was huge in that form, still somewhat humanoid but broader, covered in russet hair from head to toe. None of the other wolves were close to him, though she spotted a couple lingering at the edge of the forest. Lucien, her mate , was right there in the open, his elongated face turned towards her as she parked her car and carefully opened the door.

It was exhilarating to see him like that, such a danger to any human who wasn’t her. Still, she took no chances and left the door open, worried slamming it shut might startle him. She took a small step forward, and he took one too. Another, then another, until she could see the reflection of the moon in his eyes.

He didn’t growl, his ears remained perked up, like he was curious but not threatening. Jesminda took it as a good sign.

“I told you we’d be fine.” She smiled at him and held her hand out, trusting.

The wolf pounced without warning.

Blood spilled from her throat onto the ground, staining the grass red in a split second. A larger, darker wolf pummeled into Lucien seconds too late, claws scratching at his face, fangs aiming for his neck without mercy, but there was no changing what he’d done.

Jesminda was dead.

[acourtofthought]

am i the only one the thinks that the next two acotar books (if they follow elucien and gwynriel) will take place at the same time? like empire of storms and tower of dawn

I also think that's a possibility.

That they'll either take place in the 6-9 months after SF leading up to the crossover, running parallel to one another.

Or, Elucien's book will take place parallel to (or before) the events of the crossover leading up to it and Az's story will pick up with the events of the crossover (though SJM would have to introduce anything that happened in the crossover to the ACOTAR world). So not a complete parallel story but overlapping.

Or they'll both run parallel after the events of the crossover though I'm not as sold on that one (I could change my mind depending on what we see from in CC3 ).

When it comes to that last one, there were just too many unresolved issues at the end of SF for the characters to be casually hanging out for another 9 months up to the crossover then another however many months after that for the second spin-off and third spin-offs.

Would SJM really have Mor in the continent for 9 plus months making no progress with the treaty when it was already big deal throughout the entirety of SF?

Would SJM have had Koschei say, "tell my Vassa I'm waiting?" at the end of SF only to just let her roam free for another 9 months to a year and a half later?

Are the events of the Rite in SF going to be a problem for the Illyrians a year later? By the time another Rite comes around? Aren't we going to need some sort of discussion as to whether other females are now allowed to compete in the Rite?

Were we really told that Gwyn returned to the library at the end of SF, not sure if she'd attend Nesta's mating ceremony, only to have her make no further progress for another year?

Is Eris really going to spend another year spying on his fathers actions in the continent without doing anything about him?

Is Beron really going to spend another year with his eyes set on Spring and making deals with Koschei for absolutely nothing to come of it?

Not to mention Koschei, he's set on freeing himself. He's not going to be reading books and taking bubble baths for a year. He's got to have been up to something.

Is Tamlin going to spend ANOTHER year being depressed (it's been going on since the novella) and is the IC just going to sit by and watch Spring remain open for their enemies to march in and take over?

Are Elain and Lucien really going to spend another awkward Solstice around one another?

There gets to be a point where certain storylines are being drug out a little too long and I think we're there. As far as bonds:

ACOTAR introduced hints for Feysands mating bond though we didn't realize what was going on until MAF. Feyre started MAF engaged to Tamlin, pretty clueless about her bond with Rhys but finally accepted it about 6 months from the time it snapped into place for Rhys.

ACOMAF introduced the possibility of Nessian's mating bond in the Cassian Bonus Chapter and it confirmed Elucien's mating bond. Nessian's bond snapped in SF about 18 months later after those first hints (since it was accepted near the end of that book.

Eluciens confirmed mating bond has now remained unaccepted for 16 months. Not just hints of it the way Cassian had or Rhys at first but fully aware of it to the point that it's caused suffering for Lucien on a level that it didn't for any other character aside from Rhys once his snapped UTM (who again only had to wait about 6 months until Feyre accepted it).

Say Elucien's book doesn't start until after the crossover. That means we're adding at least 9 months if not more (for the duration Bryce remains in Prythian) which brings us to 25 months. If an Az book is first and Elain's comes after chronologically that means we're adding even more time to the total.

That's just a bit much. We've got Rhys telling us that unaccepted bonds can drive the males crazy and it's their burden to bear which is fine when we're talking about a nameless faceless character but if Lucien is going to be a MMC with a POV, than he needs his HEA at some point. Since the start he's been held captive and faced death on multiple accounts (when Amarantha had Rhys nearly wipe his mind, when she chained him during Feyre's second trial, when his brothers tried to kill him again, when he was poisoned and nearly killed by the twins), he's been whipped, SA, suffered abuse at the hands of Tamlin, lost yet another home, hasn't been able to visit his mother in Autumn in centuries since his father all but wants him dead, doesn't know who his real father is, realized he had a mating bond with a female who was engaged to someone else and has spent nearly two years suffering the effects of an unaccepted bond, was kept from his mate by her sisters and is helping the NC while one of it's members is talking about killing him in duels and saying he's not good enough.

I have honestly never read a series where a possible leading character has gotten the short stick so many times over and though I'm not SJM (therefore she might view it completely different), I can't imagine she plans on delaying his suffering even longer.

At least if the remaining spin-offs did run simultaneously, we wouldn't have to compound Lucien's suffering by having him see the guy who thinks of him as no better than gum on a shoe (Az) get a HEA / accepted mating bond before him, especially when Az was ready to seduce Lucien's mate without ever thinking of her beyond his sexual fantasies.

[separatist-apologist]

Firstly, I’m sorry you keep having to clarify the very simple fact that it’s bad etiquette to ask creators that are writing incredible content FOR FREE to post stuff constantly. Secondly, which ACOTAR guy do you think would be the best vibes at IKEA, and which would be the worst? Asking the important questions, nothing but hard hitting journalism here.

Worst to best person to bring to Ikea- as always no one is allowed to get mad/put in the tags I'm wrong. I have never once been wrong because my opinion is objective fact unlike the REST OF YOU.

10. Beron Vanserra- Won't stop in ANY displays. Doesn't even want to BROWSE. Skips the meatballs for the downstairs shopping area. No basket. Won't let you get a fake plant or even TEALIGHTS. Came for one specific thing and thats the ONLY thing. Screams at you if assembly is required.

9. Azriel- Feels like Ikea would stress him out. Always crowded, he does not strike me as a crowd-loving person. Begs not to go, but has to because his strength is require to lift all six boxes for the new bookcase. Does this without complaint. Does not want to eat meatballs, wants to go home.

8. Tamlin- Also hates crowds. Has a truck, so is always being asked to come. Is really good at building things by himself, though, so its worth bringing him. Silently assembles furniture pieces and while does not indulge in the cafeteria, agrees to a frozen bag of meatballs.

7. Eris Vanserra- Just. Not a good attitude at 10am. Way too dressed up for an IKEA. Why is he in dress pants? WHY DID HE BRING A TWO DOOR? WHY IS HE IN DRESS SHOES ERIS OH MY GOD WHAT DID YOU THINK WE WERE DOING TODAY? Have to make a second trip to collect bookcase, but he does pay for lunch.

6. Jurian- Why do all these men hate being around other people? Jurian is like a nervous cat you have to pspspspsp into the parking lot. Does not understand why everything is so spread out. Buys one of the generic pieces of artwork because it's a portrait of his city (SAME JURIAN). Stunned to learn he actually spent $400 when he came in for one $30 chair. Oops.

5. Helion- L O U D L Y judging display books while being told it's not an endorsement. Can somehow speak swedish now???? Telling you what all these words mean with a roll of his eyes. Does NOT order meatballs but the chicken (WHY HELION), and does not like any of the home office displays. Knocks on the bookcases with a "I thought so-these are HARDLY sturdy" okay we get it. Your collection is massive.

4. Rhysand- can't take this man anywhere. Just thinks there are BETTER places for furniture where your home wont look like everyone elses. Does not understand the point is that its affordable. Does like laying on the beds, though, and playing pretend in the 500sq ft displays. Surprised the meatballs are good but SWEARS he knows a better place (UNLIKELY RHYS)

3. Tarquin- Likes crowds, TOO enthusiastic. Stopping in EVERY display to look at prices, to admire the lights, to sit on every couch. Exhausted before you ever reach the kitchen section.

2. Lucien Vanserra- Man with a plan. Energized by all the people, strikes up several flirty conversations in the bedroom section. Purposefully did not eat, walks slow through the upstairs so when its time for meatballs, he has ROOM for all 12. Agrees fake plants are a good idea to make home look cozy without all the effort, though also purchases a real tree based on "look at how fucking cool this is".

Cassian- Ultimate Ikea shopping partner. Man is STRONG. Has a big ass truck. and most importantly, Cassian likes to have FUN slash EAT. This is a DATE. "Would you live here?" "why/why not?" trying out the couches and judging the ugly sinks. Eats his weight in meatballs. Carries all four boxes for the bookshelf on his shoulder, everyone is staring. Builds it cheerfully, helps arrange said books.