#in a perfect world they were kids playing at the playground together

[nouveauxamoris]

stupid fucking baby i’d be fucked up too if i looked like that

RBS APPRECIATED!

[smuthospital]

⭐️Yandere Husband x reader⭐️

Premise: Your husband really wants kids, but you're not really all for the idea

Warning: Noncon, breeding, fem reader

Minors DNI

You prepared a cute little basket with bread, some homemade jam and a couple of sandwiches along with a delicious strawberry cake you baked just for today! You look up at the playground from where you're sitting, the breeze feeling just right. It's a beautiful day out. Kids playing, people walking their dogs, couples like yourself picnicking. You and your husband have been together for three years and married one. He's the sweetest man in the world and you couldn't feel luckier to be with him. Your mother introduced him to you. He was her close friend's son. His mother and yours just so happen to go to the same knitting class. Although his mother was of a higher class, your mother and his had a lot in common and hit it off right away. Your mother would have buried you six feet deep if you refused to see him, not that you would've. He's handsome, sweet and has a well-paying job. Of course, that's the side of him that he allows you to see.

He begged his mom to introduce you after he saw you sitting on your porch one day when he was picking his mother up from your house. You waved at him and smiled. His heart was about to pop out of his chest. Your beauty was nothing he'd ever even imagined before. Everything about you is perfect. Everything. He asked his mother about you as soon as he drove off. She was more than happy to tell him. She's quite fond of you and would choose you as a daughter-in-law over anyone else. She couldn't be happier that her beloved first son has shown interest in a jewel like you.

He couldn't help but fall even deeper in love when he got to meet with you. Your voice rings bells in his heart and your eyes speak to his soul. He knew from then on that you were made for each other. He would never admit it, but he's absolutely obsessed with you. He would prefer to say that he's in love with you. Dating was smooth. He quickly proposed as soon as an appropriate amount of time passed. It couldn't come soon enough to him. You're so sweet and understanding. So thoughtful and intelligent. You share interests and when you don't, you make the effort to try. So does he, of course. You're so perfect.

Once married, he was happy to go to work and come back to your loving embrace. He'd rather die than have you support yourself. Anything you want, anything you need is yours. You don't even have to ask, your husband is very observant. You might mention something in passing that he'll overhear. Something small, something you didn't even put a lot of focus into, but he'll remember. He'll remember and he'll get it for you as soon as possible. He'd do anything...and that means anything. If anyone made you cry, he'd comfort you...before beating them unconscious. Getting his hands dirty is a small price to pay for you. But dear god, if anyone dared to lay a finger on you... well...consider them gone. Consider them erased actually. Consider the fact that they won't be bothering anyone ever again. Consider people closely associated with them being severely injured.

He's a ray of sunshine. You love him and he loves you. He loves you very much. You've never had any serious arguments. The two of you got along so well that there weren't any disagreements, but there were, he'd just fold and let it go. The only problem is that now that you're married, he wants kids, but you're not ready. You've never been very good with kids. They make you anxious. The sticky fingers, their delicate little heads, the fact that they could become psychopaths if you don't raise them properly. Not to mention how expensive and time-consuming they are. You spend all that time and energy on them and get almost nothing in return. Don't even get you started on the effects it'll have on your body.

There's just too much that could go wrong and besides, you just font feel like you're mature enough to have a kid of your own when you still feel like one yourself. You're not ready to raise a human being. There's so much you want to do, want to explore and you can't do that with a baby. Your husband on the other hand is great with them. He's the eldest brother of six so he's used to taking care of kids. At birthday parties, you can find him carrying three kids at a time, one over his shoulders and two in his arms, even the older ones, which doesn't surprise you because he's built big and strong. Must've eaten his vegetables when he was a kid, you snicker, inwardly. Your husband pokes you every time he sees a cute video of a baby on his phone like a boy asking his parents for a puppy. "Just watch! Aren't they cute!? (Yyyy/nnnn)!" He sticks his phone in your face and makes you watch a bunch of videos. He has a severe case of baby fever.

You look over at your fiance. He's looking out at the swing set with a dreamy look on his face. A little boy is pushing his younger sister and they look like they're having a blast. You cringe, knowing your husband is gonna bring up the baby talk again when you get home. Just then, you feel a light tug on your dress and look over to see a little girl around the age of 4, wobbling on her feet, looking up at you. You at least try to be good with kids. "Hey, what are you doing?" You laugh nervously. You know you're in for it now. You can feel your husband's intense gaze on the back of your neck.

"...Mama said that if I'm good, I can have cake. I was good today, so can I have some,...please?" You look up to see a woman face palming and yelling at her daughter to come back and stop bothering the nice lady. You smile at her mother, letting her know it's okay. "Well you asked so very nicely, how can I say no?" You cut a small slice and plate it for her. You give her the plate, but she just looks up at you with puppy dog eyes. "I...I always let Mama feed me," she says as fiddles with her fingers nervously. So adorable. You look up at her mother, who seems to be busy dealing with one of her other kids and decide to give her a break. Although this is breaching your comfort zone, you just can't say no to that face.

You pick up a fork and begin feeding her. You just know your fiance has the most love-struck look on his face, if you were looking at him, you'd be able to see big hearts in his eyes. You peek over at him to see just that and roll your eyes. "Mm so yummy! Thank you miss!" She gets on her tippy toes and kisses you on the cheek. You must admit that was adorable, but your opinion remains firm. No kids. No way. You still have plenty more reasons not to have any so cuteness is not enough to sway you. The little girl waddles away back to her mom. You don't want to turn around. You sigh and look at your husband to see he is still swooning.

"Oh my god! That was beautiful. You be such a good mom!" He coos. You groan. "We talked about this so many times, honey. You know how I feel about kids," you pout, folding your arms. You could've sworn you saw his eyebrow twitch like he was upset. "You'd be great, I believe in you. I just know it," he beams. Oh, he's not mad. Must've been your imagination. You roll your eyes. He didn't listen to a word you said though. You love him so much, but he's a brick wall when it comes to things like this. He's been on your ass quite literally about kids ever since you got married. "I need more time," you say, looking away from his pouting face. He was a bit gloomy for the rest of your outing after that. Last night, you misplaced your birth control pack. You were worried about it, but you just brushed it off and decided to take two the next night when you do find them.

Soon, your picnic comes to an end and you head home. He's on you as soon as you shut the door, kissing you passionately. You return the gesture, hugging him close. "Don't take your birth control tonight," he whispers huskily in your ear. You stop and push his chest. He takes a step back and looks down at you, eyebrows furrowed. "We literally just talked about this! Respect that I don't want any dumb kids!" You shout. You expect him to apologize, to get on his knees and beg for forgiveness like he always does when he's in the wrong. Then he'd go and get you flowers, and cook for you, but this time, he looks down at you rage evident in his expression. He looks really pissed. You shrink in your spot. What?

"You're being ridiculous, (y/n)! It's time for you to grow up! You're old enough to be a responsible mother so stop acting like a child. I can support the both of you easily. You don't have to lift a fucking finger, just have my child already. I've been so fucking patient with you. My mother and yours have been asking us where their grandchild is. What the fuck do I tell them? I'm wondering too! I've been waiting for you to change your mind and be reasonable, but you're really getting on my nerves now," he grits his teeth as he finishes his sentence. Each sentence felt like a stab to your heart. He's never said such cruel words to you or even cruel words in general before. Your husband hasn't so much as insulted you. You never could've imagined your husband had this side to him.

He gripped your arm and began dragging you upstairs. "Hey! S-Stop! Stop it!" You cry, holding onto the stair rail. He looks back at you. That was the last fucking straw. You hear a loud clap and your head turned. Huh? Your cheek stings? Tears begin to well in your eyes as you hold your reddening cheek. He takes the time to pull you the rest of the way up and into the bedroom. He sets you on the bed and locks the door, taking his clothes off right there, his well-built figure casting a shadow over you. You begin sobbing in your place on the bed, covering your face with your hands. He walks over and gently hugs you, rubbing your back. You push at him, but he keeps you still pressed to his body. "Stop that," he whispers in your ear. His voice is commanding yet gentle, but you ignore him and continue fighting his hold. "That's it. I'm so tired of you acting like this. It's time you give me what I deserve, a family." He grips your dress and violently rips it off you, leaving you in your bra and panties. You've had sex before, but never like this. This is the first time your eyes held fear while looking at your husband.

He shoves you back onto the bed, climbing over you and trapping you beneath him, smiling. He traces a finger from your collar to the center of your bra, where it stills before ripping it off you. You know better than to scream so you whimper as he throws it to the side. He places a hand over your breast, squeezing it painfully. You grab his wrist, trying to pry it off. "You are gonna be a great mommy. Can't wait to watch these fill up with milk." His face takes on that dreamy look again. "Seeing you today in the park confirmed it. You're more than ready." You feel his cock rubbing your thigh. He yanks your panties down your legs, tossing them into the forgotten corner with his clothes and yours. With his other hand and rubs your pussy. You whine and struggle under him, but you know you're no match for him. He spreads your thighs open and lodges himself between them, his cock rubbing up and down your fold, taunting you. "I love you...so much," he says before slowly entering you. You are NOT having a fucking baby. You'll take your birth control and that'll be that. He smiles down at you, knowing what you're thinking and bucks his hips. He laughs like he knows something you don't, but the idea is completely lost on you.

He bottoms out, moaning as he does. He rubs the bulge in your stomach lovingly. "I want a big family, honey. Make me a daddy. Let me breed you," he says, rutting into you. Even though he's being so rough, it feels so damn good. He picks up your thighs and pressed them down beside your head, squishing your cervix with his cock. Your tongue rolls out your mouth as your eyes roll into the back of your skull. He kisses your neck and cheeks, giving you soft praise. "I knew you'd be good for me. Such a good little wife and soon to be mommy. You're gonna look so cute stuffed with our baby. God, I fucking love you," he chants as he rams into you again and again, your brain is far too clouded by the feeling of him spearing your guts to understand him.

You dig your nails into his back as continues bruising your poor cervix. You let out a choked whine. "It's ok, honey, you can cum. I'll allow it." As if on command, you do. He kisses your lips passionately, quickening his pace. Moans leave your mouth each time he pounds into you, the air and sound being forced from your lungs each time on impact.

His fists curled in the sheets, his eyes clenching. He slams his hips to yours, your body being forced farther before he grabs your hips and forces you back. He grunts as he cums deep inside you, your stomach filling to the brim with his seed. He sighs and kisses your cheek. You breathe heavily, waiting for him to get off, but he doesn't. He just starts going again like he didn't just fill your guts up.

"W-Whah?" You whine. "I need to make sure my seed takes, darling. We'll be doing this until I say we're done so don't complain now." You can tell by his tone that he's daring you to try something. You just clench your eyes and keep taking him. You're so bloated with cum. He's never been like this before, always stopping when you wanted to and treating you like porcelain. Now he's grabbing you and fucking into you like he's been holding back for years, which you now think he has. Your eyelids begin drooping after the sixth time he forced you to cum. You can't keep them open and he notices. "It's ok, take a nap. Warning, I'm not stopping. I guess I tired you out," he laughs.

You wake up to him hugging your back, spooning you. You look at your alarm clock. It's been hours and judging from the still-wet cum all over your thighs, he only stopped recently. You slowly and very carefully slip out of his hold and off the bed. You feel a soreness like never before in your stomach and almost fall to the floor. Oh god, your uterus. More cum slips out of you as you walk to your vanity. You open a couple of drawers where you think your birth control might be, but it's not there. Where could it be if not in your vanity!? You look around frantically, but you still can't find them! You begin looking everywhere. You check the bathroom cupboard, opening it slowly so it doesn't creak and wake up your crazy husband. It's not in there! You look down to see the crumpled package in the trash. You pick it up to see it empty. Every single slot, even the pink period pills. You begin tearing up as you see there are tiny white specs by the sink. No! He washed them away! How could he!? You clutch the sink as you stare at the empty package. You feel a presence creep up behind you. You look up in the mirror to see your husband right behind you, looking down at you with disdain.

"I knew you were going to take them after I told you not to so I got rid of them last night." He planned this!? "Let's go back to bed...Common," he says tiredly and grabs your arm, forcing you back into bed with him, your back to his chest. You feel his cock harden and you try to inch away, but he grabs your hips and rubs his cock up and down your folds before jamming it inside you until he bottoms out. You whimper with your hands over your mouth, knowing that if you annoyed him while he was tired, you'd get in real trouble. He lazily humps into you, rubbing your bulging tummy from behind you, his lips kissing your head. You pass out later from exhaustion.

You wake up to find him not in bed. You take the chance to get up and throw on a sweatshirt and sweats. You grab your wallet and sprint out of the room and down the stairs, ignoring the painful limp he gave you and the soreness in your poor tummy. Your wrist is caught mid-air..." Where the fuck do you think you're going, honey?" He asks, his sweet smile contrasting the bone-crushing grip he has your wrist in.

"O-Oh! Um...we...need-" He cuts you off in the middle of your lie, yanking your wrist and forcing you closer to him. "You were going to go kill our baby." You've never seen such darkness in his eyes. "Well, you can't. I won't allow it. The doors have new locks just for you, love. You're not going anywhere." He smiles down at you, that same handsome face you love, but now come to fear. You gulp as he leads you into the kitchen where he prepared a beautiful breakfast.

You soon accept what's to happen. Your husband is a loved man. Loved by all. His family, your family, his job, the community, everyone. Your husband is often described as charismatic, funny, helpful and friendly. If you told anyone of them what he's done to you, they'd call you a liar without hesitation or even better, take his side, agreeing that it's time you give him a child because it's your duty as his wife to do at least that for him. Be a little grateful for all he does. Providing for you and taking care of you. You'd rather keep your mouth shut. Nothing good can come of telling anyone. It only took a few days of brutal fucking till you woke up early in the morning feeling nauseous and ran to the bathroom, him hot on your tail, ready to hold your hair back as you emptied your stomach into the toilet. You sob as you hug your knees on the bathroom floor. He got on the floor with you, wiping your tears with his thumbs and holding your face. He smiles wide and hugs you tightly. "Yes! (Y/n)! I'm so proud of you! We're having a baby! I love you!"

Yandere husband with pregnant reader head cannons:

- You're allowed out of the house after a while of proving your obedience! Hooray! With the exception that he has to be there, of course. A man flirted with you a bit while you were shopping and your husband was within earshot. You still cringe when you remember the sound the man's nose made as your husband punched him. It took three security guards to get him off the guy.

- Your husband makes you eat so much! "Sit down and finish your food. You're eating for two, remember!? Or did you forget?"

- Paints the baby's room with non-toxic paint and will not let you help or hold anything. "No, it's too dangerous, (Y/n). Sit back down, I've got this, ok?"

- Spares no expense for you and the baby. Buys everything people recommend to him

- Watches youtube videos for things he needs to watch out for during your pregnancy

- Does pregnancy stretches with you and won't take no for an answer. "It's good for you and the baby so get to it! I'll do them with you so we look silly together!" You both still have a fun time.

- You once dropped a book on the floor and your husband burst through the wall to get to you, leaving a cartoon cutout of himself and all. "WHATHAPPENDAREYOUOK!?" He shouted all in one breath. You assured him that you were just fine and that you'd only dropped a book, but he still cradled you in his arms crying.

- Cooks all your meals and cuddles you every single night.

- You being pregnant does not mean he stops fucking you, no. He's just a lot more gentle with you.

- Has everything about your pregnancy and birth planned to the exact detail, even when you'll have the next one.

- He rubs his face against your tummy and kisses it, singing to the baby.

- Do you need to get up? "Here, take my arm...actually...I'll hold you!"

- He picks up the phone on the first ring...and you better too or he's racing home.

[hemmingsleclerc]

I'm really loving the dad max content, your style of writting is amazing

I don't know if it's possible, but could you do something where Olivia is hanging out with Checo's kids (Chequito, Carlota, Emilio) and causing chaos in the paddock

I think it would be cute and fun

Lost in the Paddock┃MV1

Omg I love this idea I just imagined it and laugh!😭💕

summary:where max and checo lose their children in the spanish grand prix

It was a sunny morning in the paddock and the excitement for the Spanish Grand Prix was growing. Max’s daughter, Olivia, and Checo’s children, Chequito, Carlota and Emilio, were full of energy and looked at everything with curiosity. The sound of the engines echoed throughout the place, but the children were more interested in playing hide and seek.

As their parents prepared for the race, the four quickly came up with a plan to explore the paddock together. Unbeknownst to their parents, the mischievous group ventured out, carefully checking all the places.

The paddock was a maze of trailers, trucks and equipment, a perfect playground for the kids. Olivia, being the oldest, had convinced the others to follow her and explore the secret corners that she had already seen before with her father. Unbeknownst to their parents, the little ones had wandered too far and were soon lost in the maze of racing equipment.

Meanwhile, Max and Checo finished their conversation and turned around to find that their children were nowhere to be found. Panic set in as they frantically shouted their names. Max's heart almost burst out of him as he screamed his little girl's name while Checo was just as bad or worse than him.

"Olivia!''

''Chequito! Carlota! Emilio!" echoed through the paddock, but there was no response. The two parents exchanged worried glances and quickly ran out of their garage in search of their children.

Meanwhile, the children had managed to find their way to the center of the paddock, laughing and laughing as they explored the different areas of the different teams. Chequito, Carlota, Emilio and Olivia were in their own world of fun, oblivious to the chaos they were causing.

They managed to reach a place where photos of their parents were displayed on a wall. ''Look! There's my daddy!'', ''Ours too!'' Suddenly, a great idea had occurred to Olivia, what better idea than to leave a nice message for her dad and for everyone to see it, so carefully she took out of her small backpack the markers that her mother had given her on her birthday and with a huge smile, she began to draw hearts on the wall, among other things, while her other three companions saw her laughing.

Meanwhile, Max was on the verge of having a nervous breakdown himself while Checo was madly asking anyone who crossed his path if there was any sign of his children.

Charles, Daniel, Lewis and Carlos had joined the search for the little ones to cover more space and narrow down the possible places they could be.

''Via!Your favorite uncle is looking for you!'' Daniel shouted

''Carlota! Emilio! Checo jr!, Come here! We have a special surprise for you!'' Charles said

''Kids! Roscoe wants to play with you!'' Lewis' turn

Just as concern was reaching its peak, a track official informed Max and Checo that a group of children matching their descriptions had been seen near the merchandise area. With a sigh of relief, the parents rushed to the scene, their hearts pounding in their chests.

There they found the quartet, happily surrounded by team merchandise, trying on oversized caps and sunglasses while devouring different flavored ice creams. The children looked up with innocent smiles as Max and Checo approached, a mix of relief and exasperation on their faces.

Max and Checo shared a look that conveyed relief and amusement at the same time. When the chaos calmed down, the parents couldn't help but smile at the getaway their children had made. With a laugh of relief, they escorted the boys back to the Red Bull Racing garage, ready to focus on the race ahead.

Max lifted his little girl in his arms while he covered her face with kisses.

''Were where you all this time angel?, and who bought you those ice creams?''

''!Uncle lando and uncle oscar daddy!'' Olivia exclamed

''They also bought us these cool caps dad!'' Chequito said to checo

''Yeah, you're not wearing those mclaren caps on our watch kids, redbull ones are better''

As the paddock returned to its normal bustle, Max and Checo were grateful to have their children back safe and sound.And listen to all the mischievous they got up to in their absence.

[lethalchiralium]

Dial Tone | Happiness Series

a/n: here we go.

warnings: kidnapping, babies, mentions of pregnancy and sickness, mentions of violence. MINORS DO NOT INTERACT. 18+.

summary: It’s the afternoon, rain thundered against your home so you couldn’t hear the footsteps that backed you into a corner.

PREVIOUS << | >> NEXT | SERIES MASTERLIST

“Repeat after me. Stay within sight.”

“Stay in sight!”

“Have fun.”

“Have fun!”

“Don’t play with boys.”

“That’s not fair!”

Simon smiled under his face mask at his four year old, her curly hair unruly after she pulled off the sock cap she demanded to wear earlier. “I’m kiddin’, love. But stay in sight of Mum or I.” He pulled her little hand, forcing her to come close before he pressed his cheek to her forehead. She squirmed and he let go, a mumbled, “Okay.” was the best he was gonna get from her.

Winnie ripped her light coat off, tossing it into her father’s lap before she sprinted away to play on the playground with the other kids her age. Simon watched her intently, detail in his memory how she smiled at every kid who passed her by. She’d wave, begin to speak, and play with whatever kid was in the closest vicinity. She certainly didn’t learn social expression from him.

He sat back on the bench, his spine prickled with displeasure as he tried to relax. It seemed to be reflex for him to be on edge - straightened back, clenched fists, jaw so tight it could be wired shut. It was windy, not too many parents weren’t out and about to let their children play on a Tuesday afternoon; school was in session, plus this park was off the beaten path. Hidden and safe, just how he preferred. There were about four kids playing with Winnie, only two sets of parents.

Your hand then settled on his thigh, warmth pooled in his belly as he looked down at your perfect hand. A bracelet gently hung from your wrist, your preferred metal with four colored gems. It was your latest gift from your husband, it meant so much to you - having the four birthstones of your family on it. He was proud of how you smiled when he gave it to you, upset that he made you cry - even if it was tears of joy. He settled his cold hand over yours, you laughed a little.

“Your hand’s freezing, Si.” Your shoulder pressed against his, his nose scrunched a little as you squeezed his thigh.

“Sorry.” He mumbled, moving to pressed a clothed kiss to your hair. “Didn’t think it’d be this cold. Shoulda worn gloves.” There was a small sneeze, Simon looked down at your lap to see Mellie, bundled up and warm as she watched her sister play. With his free hand, he poked her button nose - she giggled before she leaned back, trying to get a glimpse of him.

You squeezed his thigh again, watching your oldest like a hawk as you gently spoke, “I’ll hate you forever if you miss Winnie’s birthday party.”

Simon smirked. “I won’t.” He wouldn’t miss it for the world.

“Or your birthday party.”

He rolled his eyes, his good mood began to sour but he took in a breath, flushing it from his system. He always knew you mean well, even when you drop things like this, knowing he doesn’t want a party since he swore them off at nine. So, he changed the topic. “Why haven’t we had one for yours?”

“I’ve had plenty of them, Simon. You haven’t let me throw you one. And the ones you told me about, they weren’t good.” You rubbed his arm then looked up to him. With your best puppy eyes, you asked, “Please let me throw you one so I can show you how fun a birthday can be.”

“…Fine.”

“Thank you.” You placed a kiss right where his lips were - no matter the mask, you always knew where to kiss his lips. It’s like they were magnetized to fit his perfectly. “You know, there was this post I read the other day, talking about kindness and gentleness doesn’t need to be so flowery and gentle like the movies.” Your hand turned to hold his, linking your fingers together as you turned back to watch your daughter on the playground. Simon couldn’t tell keep his eyes off of you, hanging on every word you said. “And I thought about you.” There was a moment where Simon felt warmth flush his cheeks, his chest, his hand that held yours. “I think about my 21st birthday and how you made me cry when you walked in that restaurant, you were nervous and your tie a bit crooked - that was kindness.”

“That was love.” He corrected, his voice gentle and low. “I loved you since that day. You were so happy to see me.”

“I was. I always will be.” You squeezed his hand, the one you were never scared to hold. “I think about how you bring me things you thought I would like, and I always do. It’s like you’re in my head, like you know everything about me.”

Simon smiled under his face mask. Not the small smile he would usually show you, the cheek straining smile that would make your face ache after a while. “I always want to know everything about you.”

You sniffled a little, a small laugh left your lips. What he couldn’t see were the warm tears that threaded down your cheeks. “I didn’t spend too much time on the post because I thought about how you were cold to me when we first met. And how you have changed so much since then, in such little time. That…” You sniffled again, leaning your head to rest against his shoulder once more. “That I loved you enough for you to recognize that you’re safe with me.”

He squeezed your hand, pressing his cheek to your hair.

“Just like how you’ll always be safe with me.”

He let go of your hand, moving to settle it on Mellie’s chest - her little gloved hands instantly grabbed his fingers, moving to chew on one of them. He didn’t mind. Your hand squeezed his thigh again.

“Ten more minutes, then I want to go home.”

He nodded a little, cheek still pressed to your hair. “Whatever you want, my love.”

•••

You barely got any sleep. With a crying Mellie who wouldn’t settle down and a clingy Winnie, you were amazed you had gotten a wink of sleep when you woke up at 7am to a cry of discomfort from your baby.

You checked the time, noticing that you had a couple of notifications but tossing your phone back on your nightstand before pulling Mellie into your arms. Her little fingers scratched at your sleep shirt, which was one of Simon’s old shirts, and her little face was buried in your neck. Her forehead felt so much warmer than last night, you were almost instantly in the bathroom - with one hand, you wet a washcloth with cold water. A gentle movement of Mellie’s head and the wince of a cold washcloth on your neck gave you chills. You pulled it away from her nose and mouth, holding it to the top of her head to try and give her relief and cool down her temperature.

“Mama?”

You looked up to see Winnie sitting up on your bed, her hand rubbing her eye as she started to wake up.

“Yes, baby?” You asked, Mellie still crying on your chest.

“Wanna sleep more.” She toppled backwards, dragging your pillow over herself. If you weren’t so worried and tired, you would’ve cackled, you did give her a small laugh. You looked back down at your baby, whose little face was scrunched up as she cried. You were swift as you made your way out of your room and downstairs, hating that you were most likely waking everyone in the house-

“Morning.”

Laswell was already sitting at the kitchen table, coffee on a coaster as Roach sat beside her, eagerly scarfing down a bowl of Cheerios. You were startled a little, not used to more than just Simon in your home. You made your way to the medicine cabinet. “Sorry if she woke you guys up, she-“

Laswell interrupted you. “She’s fine. Don’t worry about her, she’s still a baby.”

That made your heart swell a bit, you whispered a gentle, “Thank you.” You grabbed her medicine, preparing her syringe of bitter liquid while you heard the front door open and close. Heavy boots that sounded nothing like your husband’s entered the kitchen, you didn’t even glance to know that it was König. He was taller and most likely heavier than Simon, so it made sense he would also be louder. You were sure he was making noise to ease your mind.

“Guten Morgen.” He spoke, Laswell mumbled something into her coffee as you sat the baby on the counter in front of you. She sat up, face still stained with tears and her wails turned into whines as you took her little hand - you administered the medicine, Mellie gave a sour look and her eyes swelled with tears again. Not long after, her whines turned into wails again. There was no winning.

You were quick when you grabbed a small snack for yourself, carrying your infant back upstairs. The only plan you had was to keep a cold cloth against her head and debate whether or not taking her into A&E was a good idea. She’s terrified of new people, she’s screaming and crying non-stop, you weren’t sure if the added stress of new people would do her any good. But at least she had some prospect of getting some relief from this.

You swiftly gathered a cold wash cloth, Mellie grabbing your hair and t-shirt in distress as you did, wailing. You didn’t react to the hair pulling, you squeezed the water out from the cloth into the sink before letting the small cloth rest on top of her head. The baby squirmed, squealed, and whined - but the wails instantly ceased. Her tear stained face looked up at you before she slammed it into your collarbone, you winced in pain. “There we go, girlie. That’s gotta feel good.”

Winnie was still passed out in the middle of your bed, snoring away. You brought your baby back towards the bed, sitting down on it so you could keep an eye on both of your girls. Whines escaped Mellie for a few more moments before she finally calmed down, your hand cradling her head and arm holding her to your chest. You kissed her head then leaned back onto your pillows, trying to fight the exhaustion in your body but it was too much. Your eyes fluttered closed with your five year old beside you and your almost one year old finally napping on your chest. With every breath, you felt more comfortable - even with how much your head and lungs hurt, you would always feel comfortable when your girls slept beside you.

•••

“Paying attention, LT?” Gaz whispered from beside your husband. Ghost threw him a dirty look in a casual side eye, going back to marking up his map as Price continued to present on the mission. Ghost’s phone was in his hand, he was waiting for a call or text from you, like you usually do. It’s not abnormal for you to forget, Mellie can get clingy and he knows first hand how demanding Winnie can get.

“More than you are, Sergeant.” He answered, pencil dragging across a section of London suburbs where the target was likely to be hiding. Brent and Tower Hamlets. He vividly remembered finding his father on the streets in Tower Hamlets, fucked on some drug but still conscious to recognize that his thirteen year old son shouldn’t be in London. Simon still has that scar on his forehead from how hard his father hit him that night. The pencil skritch-ed around in a circle, those two suburbs seemed the right area the target would hide in. Easily to slip in and out of alleyways, a lot of drug activities and violent crime. When you’re an outcasted former Russian Mob drug mule, you can’t exactly sip the finest champagne on a balcony in The Ritz.

There was something bugging him in his head. Something he was missing. He had gone through his Ghost rituals in the car on the way to base, then on the plane to the small Piccadilly Circus safe house. Simon was not even a thought in his mind, nothing about Simon’s life was supposed to be distracting him - yet, all he could think about throughout this meeting was you.

How scared you must have been, giving birth to Mellie alone all those months ago. How hurt you were when you had lost your son. How happy you were that Simon finally got to know that you were pregnant again. How you were graceful in knowing he was leaving again. How he could recognize the pain in your eye when he told you, how his heart felt like it was being repeatedly stabbed when he watched you fight back tears.

Simon loved you. Ghost was not meant to love. He was meant to be a soulless monster, but after the nine months he spent at home with you and his children, the lines between Ghost and Simon Riley seem to bleed together. Where the mask couldn’t cover seemed to stay the devoted husband and father, while underneath the fabric balaclava, Ghost was ready to find his prey like the hunter he was.

“Dismissed.” Price’s voice broke Ghost from his thoughts, he instantly closed his folder of information and stood. He shuffled out of the briefing room, his hand crept to his phone in his pocket.

One phone call wouldn’t hurt.

•••

You felt nauseous when you woke up, but it passed easily after you sat in your dry bathtub, cheek to the wall of it. Maybe Mellie’s cold was passing, you wouldn’t be able to function if morning sickness caught you this time. You narrowly escaped it with Mellie and with your miscarried son, so you were genuinely praying you wouldn’t be throwing up every chance your body had for the next three months. Your baby monitor sat in your hand, Mellie was placed in her crib around 9am when she finally cried herself to sleep.

Laswell and Roach had taken Winnie to the park after lunch, which Laswell was gracious enough to make. It seemed the three operators were comfortable in your home, it made the stress of it all seem to ease. König stayed behind, stating that he was here to help with Mellie - which you thanked him but told him it wasn’t necessary. He had a job to do, which was to protect your family until the whole… whatever was blowing over. You weren’t sure if it was necessary that they were there, but after coming face to face with your supposedly non-existent father-in-law, the added security was more than welcome.

You only had one more day until the doctor’s appointment, you had given yourself by mid-afternoon to decide to take your daughter to A&E to get checked out sooner. If she got worse, you’d pack up your self, your baby, and your security detail and go. But now, you were cleaning up Winnie’s room. Making her bed, putting away what little toys she had gotten out.

It seemed like last week that you were putting a ten month old Winnie down for a nap, nestled in her Winnie the Pooh themed nursery. Now her soft yellow walls were a soft green, a color Winnie begged for to her father. He bent with little resistance, now she gets to hang her drawings of flowers and dinosaurs on her green walls. It wouldn’t be long before Simon would paint Mellie’s room whatever color she wanted, then the last upstairs room from its nursery yellow to your last baby’s favorite color. Your hands gripped Winnie’s duck patterned comforter, tucking it up to her pink pillow. You patted the soft object, just reminiscing on how much your life had changed in such little time.

There was barely any time for you to rest in your daughter’s room before you heard your baby begin to cry. You rose to your feet, moving out of Winnie’s room and crossing directly into Mellie’s nursery - where a cool breeze brushed through the room. Your eyebrows furrowed.

The window was open.

Mellie had stood up in her crib, hands gripped onto the side and screaming, face full of little tears. You were over to her in only three strides, pulling her up into your arms. She was still so warm, you were very worried now - you bounced your baby on your hip for just moment before you made a move towards the changing table. “Oh baby, baby, Mama’s gonna help.”

You tried to lay her on the table but she rolled towards you, still screaming and crying like someone was burning her ears off. “I know, honey, give Mama just a second-“

Something in your head clicked. Your hands instantly picked up your daughter, running your hand over her hair to try and smooth her as panic settled into the center of your chest. You needed to hold her, something in your body demanded you keep your hold on your daughter.

The window was open. When it wasn’t before. You did not open it, you would have heard her door opening on the baby monitor if König had come up to open a window. You never even thought it could be opened, you never tried. You took a step back, going to turn towards the door of the nursery. If you get downstairs quick enough, you may be able to warn König to tell Laswell and Roach not to come back. To keep Winnie away.

There was a loud thud from downstairs, your heartbeat in your throat as you heard it again and again and again. The air around you turned cold, goose flesh invaded your skin as you held your breath, waiting for König to come upstairs and tell you it was a false alarm. Mellie’s crying was loud in your ear, but the voice that came from downstairs was deafening.

“Y/N! RUN!”

You took one look towards the door and solid metal was pressed against the back of your head. Your body went still, your daughter screaming in pain right next to your ear. You heard a gunshot muffled by the walls of your home, your eyes squeezed shut as you cradled your daughter closer. With your heartbeat in your throat, you heard a low growl,

“Don’t move.”

••••

Simon pulled the phone away from his ear, watching the time begin to tick as your voicemail began to play.

“Hey love, I know you probably napping with the baby but jus’ wanted to check on ‘er. And you. Love you, see you soon.”

He settled the phone down on the table of the mess hall, a late lunch was what he was used to with planning extensive missions. Price gave him a curious look from across the table. “You usually don’t call her.”

“I know.” He answered, metal fork pushing around mushy peas on the tray. Something was scraping away in his chest, he couldn’t place the feeling.

“The girls will be fine.” Price assured Simon, taking a bite out of his stew. “There’s two operators and Laswell there. If anything were to happen, your girls would be safe.”

Simon glared at Price. “Still don’t appreciate being called in from my paternity leave.” The fork pierced a piece of cut up potato, eyes never leaving Price’s face.

“You didn’t have to agree.”

“If I didn’t, I’d get a disciplinary.” Simon took a bite of the stale potato, it was bland and soggy. “Can’t exactly lose my only income for my family.”

The table jostled as Soap ripped a chair out from beside Ghost, he didn’t even react as Soap dropped into his seat and his tray clattered onto the table. He began to chatter with Price, a happy smile on his lips and he ripped apart his bread roll to place on half on Simon’s tray. Simon took his phone back into his hand, opening it to a picture of his daughters. He gazed at it, tracing the shadow on your hand as it held up Mellie - your engagement and wedding rings glittered in the sunlight. He could remember that small smile on your face from that picture.

There’s no need to worry. They’ll be fine.

join my taglist!

taglist:

@idkwtftitbh

@blingblong55

@local-spidey

@sanfransolomitatm

@frazie99

@Awilan

@cosmoscoffeee

@khadeejarh

@tutuwusworld

Copyright © 2023 lethalchiralium. All rights reserved.

[hazelsmirrorball]

Undercover Spider-Woman | Hazel Callahan

Spider-woman! Hazel Callahan x fem! Reader, loser! Hazel x Fem! Reader Summary:  PJ decides to do a Fight Club Halloween Party and Hazel has no choice but to wear her superhero costume.  Warnings: english isn’t my main language, not proof-read,fighting, spicy? a/n: first bottoms imagine! Hope you guys like it, I’ll probably do more parts and I might do more Hazel one shots! I really hope I’m not shadow banned! Thank you

part two

October 31s, Halloween. A perfect excuse for teenagers to get drunk out of their minds while dressing up without being judged. Couples would go in matching costumes or go to haunted houses. Little kids would go trick or treating and the fight club, well they were making this halloween one to remember.  Usually people would hang out, go to parties but since this year October 31st came around a week day, those plans were out of the picture. Plus adding to the fact that none of them were that popular to be invited to a party , excluding Brittney, Isabel and Y/n. The fight club, specifically PJ, made it their mission to make this halloween one for the books.  

Hazel could hear the faint music playing from inside the gym as she paced back and forth debating if it even was a good idea to stumble in these conditions. She could risk everything she had been hiding so well since sophomore year for a party. Hazel took a deep breath taking her mask off and pushing it inside her bag as she felt her bangs covering her face.  She anxiously licked her lips feeling the metallic flavor overpowering her tongue as she hesitated to push open the big gym doors. Her glove covered hands hovered against the door as she thought if it was a good idea to go inside in the first place. 

What was PJ’s wonderful idea of making Halloween one for the books, you may ask? Fight Club with costumes. She made it her mission to sell the idea really well, but who wouldn’t like to have girls fighting in slutty costumes, heaven on earth,or  at least that’s what  PJ said. 

Hazel didn’t have anything against the party, she loved the idea of hanging out with her friends on halloween. She finally clicked with a group of friends good enough to celebrate a holiday together. Hazel was ecstatic, she had made it her mission to make the perfect Anakin Skywaker costume, which she had succeeded perfectly. She had slept the night before with her costume freshly dry cleaned next to her.  But her plans got destroyed when Green Goblin decided to show up and ruin her day by turning the city into his playground. Who would’ve known that Halloween was going to be a crime filled day. Hazel had managed to leave everything in perfect conditions  with ease leaving  just in time for the party. But just not in time for her to change out of her suit into her Anakin costume. 

So that’s how she found herself waiting outside of the gym doors in her spider woman suit. Her face was covered in bruises from the fight before and her hair was sweaty and messy due to it being stuck in her suit for a long time.  It wasn’t that she looked bad in her suit, it gave her power, made her unrecognizable. She wasn’t that nerdy little girl that people would stomp over. She was a badass that saved the world. She was a good superhero and she looked good doing her job. The red and blue suit would drive people crazy. She had even caught PJ and Josie gushing over her on a daily basis, but what if it slipped? 

The suit wasn’t one of those cheap costumes you could find in a store for under 30 dollars. It was a high tech suit that could kill someone in an instant and wearing that suit for a fight club meeting drove her insane. She worried on a daily basis that she could easily murder a girl with a blink of an eye, but now, with her suit on, it just made things even more difficult. Wall crawling,  superhuman strength, speed, reflexes, spider senses, spiderwebs and healing factors, all open for everyone to see. 

Hazel took one last breath while pushing the doors open. She let out a cough as smoke filled her nostrils, taking her by surprise. As she looked around, she noticed the usual bright lights of the gym were now red while smoke came from a smoke machine not far away from the door. Hazel chuckled, feeling the nerves quickly ease off, as she looked at her friends standing near a makeshift snack table. PJ did outdid herself. 

“Well look who decided to finally show up... Wait, is that the costume you made? Dude I actually thought you were going to do a crappy Anakin costume like last year. You have improved so much, this shit is so fucking cool, way better than the store one’s”   PJ said as she pushed down her sunglasses to take a better look. Hazel let out a nervous chuckle thinking of what words to say, but nothing came out. She looked at PJ taking in her costume, noticing the familiar men and black, lanyard hanging from her black suit pocket. 

“It makes you look super hot, Hazel! You even have an ass!” Sylvie exclaimed, taking off her scream mask while biting onto her fake knife. Hazel blushed, hiding her face behind her hands. If she had one more comment directed her way she was going to lose it. 

“No, but like PJ is right. This looks really good. How did you even make this look so good?  It looks like the real thing.” Josie added as she circled Hazel around taking in her costume. Hazel's eyes wandered as she shook her head, scoffing. 

“Please, how would you even know what it looks like, if you haven’t seen the real one.” Hazel said as she took a cup of punch gulping it down to ease her nerves. She wasn’t going to outlive this night.

“Because Y/n bought a Spider-Woman costume and it looks like shit compared to yours. No offense, Y/n. Your ass still looks good though.  ” PJ yelled, pointing at Y/n, who was standing a few feet away from her. 

Her body was adorned with a tight low quality version of the suit Hazel was wearing. But Hazel found herself staring in awe, not being able to move one bit. Hazel scanned every inch of Y/n Osborn's body taking a mental picture of her to remember in the future. 

Y/n Osborn had been Hazel’s crush ever since she understood what liking someone more than friends meant. She was Hazel’s everything, yet she wasn’t aware of that. They shared countless classes together but Hazel couldn’t even address her without turning into a nervous wreck. Fight Club had changed Hazel’s opportunities, when she had seen Y/n walk through those gym doors, she knew that at least a friendship would come out and she wasn’t completely wrong. Y/n did talk to Hazel, but Hazel didn’t talk back. She managed to mumble responses but that was about it. When it came to Y/n, Hazel felt like she was never bitten by a radioactive spider and that she was the same loser she had been all her life. 

But now seeing her in that outfit, wearing her iconic colors. Her hair moved softly because of the wind that came from the smoke machine. The red light outlining her body made Hazel go insane, she really was not surviving October 31st but if she didn’t she was going to leave with that image of Y/n engraved in the back of her head. 

“Shut up, PJ! It’s not my fault that this was the only thing that they were selling.I didn’t know that Hazel was going to show up in a better quality looking costume. I thought it looked good in the costume” Y/n muttered as she placed down a bag full of candy on the table. Brittany tapped her back for support as the rest of the girls looked back and forth between the two Spider-woman costumes. 

“You know what! Since we are all here, let’s get to business” Josie said as she walked towards the makeshift fighting mat that was in the middle of the gym. The girls followed close behind leaving Y/n and Hazel near the table. Y/n leaned down as searched for something in her bag which didn’t go unnoticed by Hazel. She took a deep breath quickly biting her lip before she could say something that could worsen the situation. As she looked for a notebook and a pen for notes, her eyes never left Y/n’s body. She took all the strength in her body to walk towards her and place her hand on Y/n’s lower back leaning with her. Hazel lips lightly grazed on her ear as she felt Y/n’s body tensed as she gripped harder on the thing she was searching for in her tote bag. 

“I think you look fucking hot in that costume.” Hazel responded by tapping her back and moving away towards the group of girls like nothing. Y/n gulped, taken aback by Hazel’s actions not used to this side of her. She cleared her throat jogging towards the girls sitting in between Josie and Sylvie, avoiding the hungry look Hazel was giving her. If Hazel knew that wearing the suit with Y/n was going to change the way she acted with her, she would’ve worn it to school years ago. 

“Well, let’s make this fun. Spider-Woman vs. Cheap Spider-girl” PJ exclaimed pushing Hazel out of her thoughts as she noticed Y/n groan and get up glaring at her. Hazel followed standing in front of her, but different from the other times she fought with her, she didn’t break eye contact with her sending her a cocky smile.

"Could you please drop it already, PJ? I get it, it's a shitty costume" Y/n muttered, as she sent a glare towards PJ, trying to avoid Hazel's haunting gaze. 

PJ shook her off, wiggling her eyebrows while pointing towards Hazel. Y/n quickly adverted her eyes towards her noticing how Hazel slipped her mask on up to her nose making it possible for her to see her pearly whites. Y/n raised an eyebrow, confused by the sudden change in Hazel’s actions, used to the girl being deadly afraid of looking her in the eye. The girl that was used to being a blushing mes with her stood tall smirking down at her. Before Y/n could even process what was going let alone swing a punch, she felt her body smash against the floor, her body being pinned down by Hazel. 

Hazel's thighs pinched her into place making it impossible for her to move. Hazel hands pushed Y/n's hands on top of her head as she leaned towards her. Hazel’s chain slowly moved up and down Y/n’s face as she struggled to get Hazel's body off hers, she had done it before, why was it so hard now? Seeing Hazel in this new angle made her nervous. Her once sweet eyes were full of something Y/n couldn’t describe, Hazel’s agitated breaths made her loose concentration as her masked eyes scanned her face with a proud grin on her face. She wanted to punch that cocky grin out of her face.

“Oh, see, the cheap costume is losing. Punch her already, Hazel! End her.” PJ exclaimed, clapping, making Hazel chuckle. The other girls yelled at Hazel encouraging her to finish the job. Maybe it was the sudden glory she felt, the suit, the hollers and Y/n being under her in her suit, made Hazel feel like one of her dreams was finally coming through. The things she kept hidden in her bedroom was finally happening. 

Y/n noticed how Hazel was far gone taking advantage off this already pissed out of her mind. Y/n wrapped her leg around Hazel’s waist taking her by surprise. She quickly took over turning them around making Hazel face the floor while Y/n straddled her. She leaned towards her, her lips grazing softly over her cheek. 

“I think I like this position better.” She said softly into Hazel's ear, making her warm inside. Hazel wasn’t going to lie and say that she didn’t like this position, but she felt powerful with the suit. She was going to be on top. Hazel with ease pushed Y/n off her straddling her once again, smiling at her. 

“I guess a little change doesn’t hurt once in a while.”  She responded by making Y/n roll her eyes. 

“Hey! Stop with the porno and hit each other already” Sylvie yelled making Hazel punch Y/n straight in the nose.

“Fuck!” Y/n yelled, holding onto her nose as blood started trailing out like a water stream. Hazel quickly got off her, her once confident persona slipping away. As  she slipped the mask off she could see how Y/n stood up coughing the blood out of her lips. 

“Shit, Hazel! We didn’t tell you to kill her” Josie exclaimed, helping Y/n up. She shakes her shrugging it off. 

“It’s okay! I’m usually the one that beats Hazel. I guess tonight was her comeback” Y/n said laughing softly as she stopped the blood flowing with a piece of Isabel shirt she had managed to rip off.  Hazel knew it wasn’t fine and that she could’ve killed Y/n if she hit her just a little bit harder.

 “I’ll take her to the bathroom. Help her clean up while you guys continue. Keep the party going” Hazel managed to get out as she took Y/n away from Josie’s grasp leading her to the bathroom. 

Y/n stayed quiet as she sat on the sink whilst Hazel nervously cleaned her probably broken nose. A smile adorned her lips when she noticed that Hazel wouldn’t dare to look at her, her Hazel was back. 

“Why are you smiling?” Hazel asked, dropping the tissues of the trash can watching the bloody mouth smiling towards her. 

“I was worried that my nervous little Hazel was gone, but I guess she’s back. Got worried for a second. ” She replied as she inspected Hazel. Hazel turned away blushing as she leaned against the door behind her, nearly falling back. 

“I’m really sorry about your nose. I didn’t mean to hit you that hard” Hazel replied quickly while gaining her balance. Y/n shook her off while getting down from the sink. 

“It’s no problem, finally you stopped being soft with me. I was starting to believe you didn’t want to hit my pretty little face” She replied sarcastically as she headed towards Hazel. Her hand pushed off the bangs from her face making her see Hazel’s features better. Y/n slowly moved closer to her but stopped dead in her tracks when both her and Hazel's phone vibrated. She quickly moved away looking at her phone while Hazel cleared her throat looking at hers, seeing the notification that Green Goblin was on the loose. 

“I really need to go! But please text me if you are feeling better! I really am sorry” She said quickly as she noticed Y/n also running towards the door. 

“Yeah, it’s no problem! I also have to go, my dad wants me to help him with work” Y/n said as she followed Hazel outside. Both of the girls looked at each other parting ways not knowing that in a few minutes they were going to face each other once again but this time to battle against death. 

part two

[themindofachronicdaydreamer]

Suites & Sweets

freshman year at Jujutsu University Tokyo seems like it will be uneventful. and, well, that's true... until you meet the boys in the suite across the hall, and one in particular piques your interest.

satoru gojo x reader | jjk college au | no curse au | fem! reader fluff, angst, & slow burn | SMAU & writing <3

introduction | next

₊̣̇.ෆ˟̑̑˟̑ෆ.₊̣̇.ෆ˟̑̑˟̑ෆ.₊̣̇.ෆ˟̑̑˟̑ෆ.₊̣̇.ෆ˟̑̑˟̑ෆ.₊̣̇₊̣̇.ෆ˟̑̑˟̑ෆ.₊̣̇.ෆ˟̑̑˟̑ෆ.₊̣̇.ෆ˟̑̑˟̑ෆ.₊̣̇.ෆ˟̑̑˟̑ෆ.₊̣̇₊̣̇.ෆ˟̑̑˟̑ෆ.₊̣̇.ෆ˟̑̑˟̑ෆ.₊̣̇.

ˋ°•*⁀➷˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ 1. 𝓗𝓔𝓐𝓥𝓔𝓝 𝓘𝓡𝓛 ⍣ ೋ⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ ... wc: 2.4k

You hurry to grab your purse and slip your shoes on as Shoko is all but dragging you out of your suite by your arm. Your steps are slightly unbalanced due to her unexpected strength as she tugs you every which way, but with Shoko having been your best friend since you can even remember, this is something you are fairly used to. Lighthearted giggles escape from your core while you and your friends stumble down the hallways to the exit, each of you beginning to feel the effects of the few rounds of shots you took before you left.

The fraternity Utahime insisted on going to, Sigma Pi, is well known by JJU students for having the "hottest guys in the country" (or so she claimed), and who were you to say no to going such a haven? It isn't too far from you, either. The walk is less than ten minutes from your dorm suite and the temperature is the perfect middle-ground between hot and cold, making the stroll there pleasant. The crisp wind tickles your nose as Utahime holds your hand, swinging it back and forth with the energy of a little kid excited to go to the local playground. The two of you skip down the sidewalk in unison until you finally reach your destination.

"We stick together. Alright?" Shoko orders once you are all inside, glaring sternly at each of you so she can establish how serious she is.

"Yes, mom," Mei Mei, who is somehow already borderline drunk (you assume she pregamed your pregame), rolls her eyes. Utahime pats Shoko's back affectionately while you hum in agreement.

"Ugh. One of us has to be one," Shoko rolls her eyes right back at Mei Mei, though it is clearly sarcastic. "

"Drinks?" you query, grinning widely and gesturing to the makeshift bar in the back of the basement you are inside. While you feel a buzz going, you are definitely not against having a drink, and you have an inkling you may need it with how many people are around as alcohol brings out the social side in you.

"Hell, yeah!" Utahime exclaims. She pumps a fist in the air, grabs your hand, and drags you toward the alcohol in the back of the room. You grab Shoko's hand and she grabs Mei Mei's, connecting your group as you weave as one through a maze of people.

The air is hot and sticky and you can tell that your hair is already being affected by the humidity that floods the atmosphere, almost as if walking into the frat was a portal to a completely different climate. Cinderblock walls painted a deep black line your view of the dim room as multicolored, flashing LED lights act as the main source of light. The DJ's music is so loud, you feel as though each cell in your body reverberates with every note that erupts from the speaker. It smells like beer and a hint of sweat, and your feet stick to the ground a bit with every step.

Ah, the glory of college parties.

After what feels like ages weaving through the sea of college students, you finally are at the bar, and Hime requests four drinks of their highest quality, premium jungle juice. She makes a few comments to you about the "bartender"' and his unbuttoned shirt, his torso on full display to the world, to which you smile and agree about the eye candy in front of you. After being handed your red solo cups, you turn to each other and decide to move to a mostly vacant corner to stay out of the way of the bar.

"Oh. My. God. They have beer pong set up! Who's playing with me?" Utahime squeals. You feel her long hair hitting your face with how fast she whips her head around to you, eyes full of eagerness to play the game with someone.

"Nah, I have no coordination," Shoko shakes her head. "Especially when drinking."

"Me neither. That's what makes it fun!" you counter. "I'll play, Hime!"

"Yes! We are the dream team, after all!" she grabs your hand and goes over to the game being played, watching intently to see who wins. Mei Mei and Shoko follow closely behind, and while Mei gets distracted by a few good-looking faces, she hasn't reached her flirty-drunk stage yet, so she only waves or winks at them.

Two guys are playing against two others, and you notice Utahime ogling one with dark eyes and a thin mustache. His team is doing well; they have two cups left to eliminate, the other team needing five. So you take action, always looking out for your girls.

"We'll face the winner," you volunteer, raising the hand that is still holding Hime's to solidify your team.

"Alright. Game on," a tall, muscular man with dark hair and a scar on his lip says. You can smell his ego from the other side of the table, his confidence in winning the game that has not yet finished seeping out of every word he speaks. His smirk is intimidating, but not as much as his abs visible through the tight black shirt that reads ΣΠ.

Sigma Pi. He must be a brother at the fraternity.

You watch as the taller man sinks a ping pong ball into a cup, the other team begrudgingly chugging it down. The mustached one's turn ends in another cup drank by the losing team. Redemption is failed, and Utahime squeezes your hand in excitement as if she's silently saying to you time to play these hot frat boys!

The game goes by quickly with both teams showing great skill. Where you miss one every now and then, the scar-lipped guy across from you has such impeccable aim, you can hardly believe it. He doesn't miss a single shot, no matter how much he drinks or you try to make him mess up.

And that's how you play another round, losing, and another round, losing again. You want to have another try, but Shoko's trying to avoid you waking up with alcohol poisoning, knowing she would be the one scrubbing the bathroom clean afterwards.

"No," you whine. "I gotta win."

"Doll," your arch-nemesis says, having walked toward your side of the table without you even realizing. You turn, and you feel like you are in front of some skyscraper with how tall he is. I mean, it was obvious he's tall, but this tall? He must have had a growth spurt from when you started playing to now or something.

"You okay, doll?" he asks, his smirk showing how clearly he finds your eying up and down of his body humorous. A cough escapes your throat, Shoko being no help beside you and laughing silently to herself at your state.

"Huh?" you finally peep out. "Oh, yeah. Why?"

"You lost pretty badly," he says. "And I hate to rub it in, but I'm the one you lost to. D'you need some comfort?"

"What kind of comfort?" you inquire.

"I dunno, maybe..." he pauses to think, "my number, so I can give you some lessons? Cause ya need 'em, pretty."

You giggle, blushing at his obvious flirting, and nod. "Of course," the words spill out before you can think about them.

"Perfect. Here, type it in," he hands you his phone as he speaks, you typing your number in and Shoko double checking it's right from behind you. "I'm Toji."

Giving his phone back, you smile and say your name loud enough for him to hear through the music echoing in the background. "Text me soon," you add and turn around, which makes you a little dizzy, and Shoko subtly helps you walk to your other friends. Utahime, who had been flirting with Toji's teammate, smiles at you and quickly ends their conversation. Mei, who's with some girl she said was hot earlier (the flirty-drunk is definitely out now), does the same, and the four of you walk up to the bar - much to Shoko's chagrin.

"Four drinks, please," Mei requests, sticking her tongue out at Shoko's groan.

"Ugh. Last ones for these two," she groans, pointing to you and Utahime, whose beer pong games are visibly catching up to.

"Party shitter," Utahime mumbles. You laugh louder than intended, making Utahime laugh too.

“You’ll be thanking me in the morning,” she responds. You and Utahime release exaggerated groans, knowing full well she’s right. 

Mei grabs your fresh drinks, handing off one to each of you. You sip it happily, a smile adorning your face, and observe the crowded basement you’ve found yourself in. You follow Mei Mei, your hand in Utahime’s, over toward the center of the basement and closer to the DJ to dance.

“Hime!” You exclaim, hearing the music change to a familiar tune. “It’s our song!”

“Then let’s dance, baby!” she shouts, holding her drink in the air and shimmying her torso in excitement. 

You copy her actions with semi-coordinated movements, not caring about anything other than the joy that floods your veins from the love you have for your best friends. You can feel that the room is becoming more and more crowded as more people flood in, but you keep on dancing with the music that seems like it’s from some basic “2010s hype party rocking mix” playlist on Spotify. Not that you care - music is music and you just want to dance, so dance you will, even to overplayed house beats. 

"I gotta piss," you groan. "I'll be back!"

"You want me to come?" Utahime asks, but you shake your head.

"Nah, I'll be good," you wave her off. Honestly, you just need a second to yourself, and you know you will be okay on your own. Shoko and Mei are distracted by some girls they met and seem to quickly be becoming friends with, so you leave Hime with them and run off in the direction of the toilets.

You look at your phone to see if anyone has texted you and see one from your mother which you quickly respond to. With the distraction of your phone and your sense of self awareness being almost completely gone due to the alcohol in your system, you fail to notice the wall in front of you and run face first into it.

But, it is no wall. It's a person - you just ran into the back of some random guy.

"I'm so sorry-" you begin, but he turns while your speaking and you completely forget what you are saying the second your eyes meet his.

Blue eyes would be an understatement to describe his. The sky wishes it was such a shade of blue as the color you are gaping at right now. You want to dive into the pool of his irises and swim so far that there is no chance for return, riptides drowning you in their beauty. You swear they are glowing, radiating their icy color and hypnotizing you along with it. He must have some sort of magic power; his eye color feels almost unnatural, too perfect to be true.

You realize you have been staring at this stranger for what is probably an uncomfortably long time for him, and you force yourself to return back to earth and out of the depth of the portal he trapped you in by just a glance. It takes a second, but you finally notice the way his hands have lightly grasped your forearms, as if you are some delicate statue about to fall over and he has been tasked with ensuring your welfare.

"Are you okay?" He asks with a wide smile displaying his perfect white teeth, and you wonder if that was the first thing he's said, since you have been in what feels like another dimension.

"Oh, yeah," you say with a nervous chuckle. "Just distracted, sorry!"

You finally bring yourself to away from his face and at the rest of him. He's wearing a white shirt with baggy dark wash jeans, dirty vans on his feet. His hair is white and messy in the kind of way that it looks intentional and it looks good and you just want to run your fingers through it and his arms look so strong you want wrapped up in them and you just want to poke his muscles and his face is gorgeous and he smells like the most delicious, expensive cologne that you just want to bathe in and he looks like he was sculpted by a Roman God with how chiseled his jaw is and-

"It's really okay. You sure you're good?" He asks again. His face looks more concerned by each passing second.

"Yeah, why?" You try your best to not look like a blushing mess, embarrassed that something as simple as looking at this man has almost brought you to your knees.

"Dunno, you jus' look a lil' flustered."

"Flustered? Me? Oh, absolutely not!" you answer, talking exaggeratedly with your hands and not realizing you've practically thrown all of the contents of your drink onto his white t-shirt. It takes the guy looking down at his white - well, now tie-dyed pink - shirt for you to realize what has happened.

"Oh, fuck, I'm so sorry, let me help," you say, and you attempt to wipe up the jungle juice that has integrated with his shirt by rubbing your hand across his chest, pausing at the feeling of his amazing abs with wide eyes. You attempts to help have only made the new stain worse and this entire situation ten times more embarrassing for you.

"Hey, it's okay, at least it's not vomit," he jokes with a bit of a slur to his words, and you look up at him with a strained smile and tears welling in your eyes.

This has definitely sobered you up.

"Hah, yeah! You're right. Y'know, I've gotta- um, I'm going to run away and never show my face here again. Bye!" you rush out, practically sprinting to the bathroom to escape the dilemma you have found yourself in. You hear him calling after you, but you are too ashamed of yourself to face him again.

You don't breathe again until you sit on the toilet, praying to whatever higher power there is that you never see the angelic, regal, god-like man with his vivid blue eyes ever again. You don't think you or your ego could handle it again, as much as you are attracted to his statuesque figure. You didn't even catch his name, but that would probably have made it worse for you, as now he can remain an anonymous figure in your head, the memory of him haunting you when you randomly remember it a decade from now and cringe at your stupidity.

What a great way to begin the semester.

what is it with yn being speechless in the presence of jjk men (me too tho) lets give a warm welcome to shiu and toji!!!!! WOOOO

i hope you all like this i am so excited for this heeheheh

[cherriegyuu]

Midnight | ljh

pairing: jihoon x f!reader genre: angst word count: 2.1k summary: a sudden text leads you to the place you wished you never left warnings: death is a main plot point a/n: i've been m.i.a for a while now but i'm slowly getting back on track ~ really slowly ~ managed to write this last night so i hope you like it. thank you to @ressonancee for reading it for me💓

It’s a weird thought, dying. It was the kind of thought that often crossed your mind. What it would be like to die. Was it like flushing something down the toilet or turning off a lamp? One second and it was done, forgotten. Or was there something else so it was just a second of darkness before you were led to something else so incredible that it was hard even to imagine it? 

Maybe it was just a thought that never managed to leave your mind or perhaps it was because death seemed to be the central point of your life. Not only your life but everyone else’s lives. It was hard not to think about death when you may wake up one day and have it be your last day. It's hard not to feel scared to pick up the phone and see the text there, announcing one’s imminent death. 

Some days it was easy to forget about it all together. Days when life just hit the perfect amount of good, when it was just good enough that it could be overlooked, but not good enough so one could feel the storm down the line. It had been a long time since you had one of those. 

A good day.

You used to have plenty of them. Most of them were overlooked. You spent so much time just worrying about the smallest things, every little dust that seemed to be out of place, that you failed to see the good. You had taken it all for granted until it wasn’t yours anymore. 

Unlike most nights, when you’d wait until midnight to make sure you didn’t get the text, just to make sure that you had another day to live, you fell asleep. This weird state of numbness in which sleep was the only possible course of action. Dreamless and sound sleep, a good one. 

Yet, when you finally woke up to a text on your phone, it wasn’t scary. You had always expected that getting it would feel like doomsday had finally come, at least to you. But somehow, it was just a day. The sun shone brightly outside your window, the birds were chirping, and the kids laughed on the playground. 

To you, it was your final day. To everyone else, it was just a day. A normal, bright, sunny July day like any other. 

You didn’t make phone calls or somehow announce your death to everyone you knew, though that was probably the most responsible and respectful thing you could have done. Somehow, you didn’t want anyone to know. You want to go like you had come into this world, silently. Your mother used to say that you only cried after the doctor hit you a couple of times until you finally made a sound. You were a quiet child, she said, sometimes I’d just watch you play by yourself for hours, just to make sure that you were really there. 

All you did was put on your sunny dress, the light pink one that hit just above your knees, take your ID - which you were likely to need - and leave your apartment. You took one last look around, at the green couch you had chosen despite the protests of everyone around you, at the bookshelf filled with books that you had yet to read, the little decorations you had bought over the years that were a nightmare to clean but oh so pretty to look at.

“It was a good run, thank you”

Although dying was a constant thought, what you’d do when you found out about your death wasn’t. What you would do in those last 24 hours, where would you go, who would you see? 

Your mother was a clear and obvious no. Even if you went just for a visit, she’d know. You had never been able to lie to her. A programmed text was all that you’d allow yourself to give her and your friends. It was selfish, you knew that. You should give them time to say goodbye, they were the ones who would suffer, and they would be the ones left behind. 

You knew all of that, but couldn’t bring yourself to do anything about it.

You didn’t have a clear place to go in mind, you just wanted to walk. At first, you thought that it was aimlessly. And it was until it wasn’t. Until you reached the building you were all too familiar with, one where you had spent years of your life coming to, like it was your second home, until you didn’t. 

Taking a deep breath you pushed the door open. You weren't too sure of what you expected to find, but Jihoon right in front of you wasn’t one of them. It was too early for him to be there. His days usually started after noon, and that was still early, barely ten in the morning. So why was he there? 

“Hey,” he said. 

You wanted to urge him to keep talking. Anything at all was fine. His grocery list, all the planets in the solar system, counting from 0 to a million, a scary book. Anything. You just wanted to keep hearing his voice. You missed it. Six months without it, without him. 

“Are you okay?” he asked, eyes scanning your face, your teary eyes. 

When did the lump in your throat happen?  Why were you on the verge of tears? 

For five years of your life, Jihoon was a constant. You used to float around him, adapting to him, clinging to him, loving him. Until he wasn’t. Until there was nothing left of him in your life but the memories you had made together. 

“I know… I know that I shouldn’t be here, that we agreed that we’d never seek each other out again” you pulled as much air into your lungs as you possibly could “But just for today, can you please let me stay?”

For the first time in your life, you didn’t mind how vulnerable you sounded. For once you didn’t mind using your pain to get what you wanted and needed. And you needed Jihoon like you needed him every day.

“What’s going on?”

Jihoon took a step towards you, hand raised on the same level as your face as if he would reach for you at any second. Would it be wrong to silently pray that he would? Would it be possible to wish for something so fervently? 

“Please, Jihoon, please. I need this just today. I promise I’ll never come to you again” you begged him, eyes closed when he never touched you. 

“I… yeah, okay. Just don’t…” he seemed distressed, but agreed either way. 

“Interrupt,” you said completing his sentence “I know”

Jihoon was never a bad boyfriend and you like to think that you weren’t a bad girlfriend either. People don’t stay five years together if they hate each other, or at least you thought so. You know you wouldn’t. And Jihoon wasn’t someone one could hate. He was serious and quiet, yes, of course, but he was also kind and warmhearted. He would quietly do things while thinking of you like leaving an extra hoodie in his studio in case you got cold, always having a hair elastic around his wrist because you always seemed to forget yours somewhere, like writing the words he found it difficult to say in a song and send it to you in the middle of the day – something that made you cry in your office desk. 

Like death, it was difficult to pinpoint when your relationship had ended. You were able to talk about issues, and then talking became screaming. Love songs, written most beautifully, became filled with resentment and anger. You were together and then you weren’t. 

He was yours and then he wasn’t. 

You watched the back of his head while he worked, listening to his fingers quickly tapping on the keyboard, sitting in the very same spot you used to. The extra hoodie was still neatly folded in the corner, the little box that used to be filled with your hair ties was still next to the coffee mug. When he reached for it you noticed that the back elastic was still around his wrist. 

The smoke of jealousy burned your throat, rising from the twisting pit of flames that your stomach had become. 

You shouldn’t feel bitter over it, had no right to be angry at him for moving on. Still, you allowed the feeling to sip into you, allowing the flames and smoke to take over your veins. It was your last day on earth, breathing, you should be allowed to hate the man you loved, even if it was just for a second. 

“Hey, you wake up”

You came to your senses with a gasp, eyes wide, gripping the hand on your shoulder for dear life. You wished for it to save you, to just pull you back. 

Jihoon’s eyes looked back at yours, filled with worry. His eyes too, were wide, mouth open in surprise. You relaxed your body against the couch again and took a couple of seconds to just look at him, to memorize him. 

If there was a place after this life, if there wasn’t just nothing after it, he was someone you’d want to remember. Your mother believed that the people in our lives are souls we choose to meet during the course of human life. If that was true, if you had a choice, you hoped to meet Jihoon again. 

“Sorry, I fell asleep” 

You cleared your throat, forcing your body to sit up and in the process pushing Jihoon away from you. The spot he had touched in your shoulder felt oddly warm, compared to the rest of your body. You wanted to ask him to touch you again, hold you again.

“It’s fine, you were probably tired”

Jihoon held back the desire to ask questions, to demand answers. He knew when you parted ways that he would never see you again, that if he did it would be by chance and there was no chance of you talking to him again. 

He had never seen you like that, eyes lost, sounding desperate. He didn’t have it in him to tell you to leave, he didn’t want to either. If a small moment with you, in silence, was all he had then he was more than happy to accept it.  

“Thank you for today. And, as I said, this won’t happen again”

You got up, running your hands over your dress, helplessly trying to smooth the wrinkles in your dress. He wanted to ask you to stay, invite you to dinner, ask if you were doing fine — although, if your restless sleep was a sign of anything, fine wasn’t one of them. 

“Okay” was all he managed to say before you almost fled his studio. 

Your steps were quick and you opted for the stairs instead of the elevator. It was only the second floor, you could go down a few flights of stairs.

It was already dark out when you pushed open the door, there were only a few cars in the street and only a couple of people rushing somewhere. A little bell inside your mind went off, like an alarm, like it said that you only had an hour left. 

“Wait!”

Jihoon rushed out of the building, turning his head side to side, trying to find you again. You simply stood there awkwardly, hand to sides of your body. 

“I… you… did you get the text?” 

A part of your brain told you to tell him the truth, to just cry and grieve the loss of your own life in front of him, let him hug you like you knew he would. But the other part, the one that was ego-driven, didn’t want the last image of you Jihoon ever saw to be a broken one. 

“No, no” you waved your hands in front of yourself, doing your best to smile reassuringly at him “I just had the worst night of my life and you were the only person I could think of”

“Oh” he furrowed his eyebrows at you, head slightly tilted to the side

“Sorry for just showing up, I know how much you hate that”

You smiled again, this time more naturally, a calmness settling into you. 

“You’re okay though, right?” his eyes were focused on your shaking hands when he took a step forward, and at the same time you took one back “Do you need anything? I can take you home if you want”

“No, it’s fine. I’m fine” you were quick to add

“I’ll see you around then, I guess”

Please, god, you prayed silently, let me meet Jihoon again in my next life. 

“Bye, Jihoon”

taglist: @wonwooz1-blog, @ryuwonieebae, @sobun1est, @mirtaspace, @feat-sun, @belladaises, @mhlsymlysn, @immabecreepin, @miriamxsworld, @aaniag, @k-drama-adict, @sofix-hc7, @scarlet789, @moonlightgrleric, @r6njunlv, @mixling-blog, @cinnamongirl127, @haowonbins, @valgracia, @slut4donghyuck, @manutuankim, @shuabby1994, @anthropologymajorkpopmultistan, @plumings, @aaasia_111, @sea-moon-star, @roguesthetic, @writingbarnes, @strawberryroseee, @lovely-ficsfor-me, @whoa-jo, @poiibbtt, @yep, @seokqt, @palmsugr, @hyneyedfiz, @ho34gojo, @Lixisoul99

if you enjoyed reading, please reblog and leave a comment, it really does mean the world to me and i would love to know your thoughts. thank you! 💕

if you want to be tagged in my next fics, please fill out this form

[19ndonboy]

illicit affairs - mason mount

words: 3.4k

A/N: this is my first imagine, be nice please. of course miss swift inspired me to write something. also, i’d really appreciate if i could receive feedback on this. thank you

you and mason had been best friends for as long you can remember. it was kind of like a love at first sight in a kids who have so much to discover way. you two met in primary school. you were on your way to lunch when a boy running without looking in front of him in the corridor shoved you. your food your mother had cooked you was all over the floor before you could even realize what happened. mason, who saw it all unfold, gave you his food. after much pleading from his side with you being too shy to refuse, you ended up sharing the sandwiches his mother had lovely made. until this day, his brother lewis never missed an opportunity to tease him on how big of a gentleman he is since his youngest age. 

neither of you would have thought you would be here years later. visiting the netherlands to see him play for vitesse, mason never missing the opportunity to score a goal and do the celebration you two created when you were in maths class. 

cheering for him when he scored his first goal for his beloved club, chelsea. the club he would talk to you for hours hopelessly dreaming about stepping a foot on the green rectangle at stamford bridge.

the day he lifted the champions league felt more like a dream to you than him. you often found yourself thinking about how he would be one of the biggest footballers in the world when he was playing football on your school’s playground during the lunch time. little did you know he actually made it. 

all these moments made you grow closer and closer each year that went by. you would go on holidays together with your mutual friends, he’d come to pick you up after uni or work whenever he had the time to. he even drove at 2am when you called him in tears after breaking up with your boyfriend of 8 months and listened to your rambling until you could see the sunrise emerge from the windows, having forgotten to close the blinds the night before.

you don’t remember what led up to the night you found yourself wrapped in his bedsheets after a birthday party at a club. you blamed it on the alcohol that day. a month later, you blamed it on a defeat from chelsea’s side. before you knew, two weeks later, he was in your bed. that time, your boss was the one to blame for letting out his nerves on you. sure at some point, you two needed to act like the adults you were and came to the conclusion that you could have sex when you two wanted to. 

it was easier for him considering he didn’t have much time to go out but he also didn’t want to put his trust in a girl he would know for two hours and half. that was the safest option. on the other hand, you guess you agreed to the deal because it was less tiring than going on dates with douchebags you found on the internet. what a deal that was… no strings attached. these were the three words he repeated approximately ten times. 

it’s been six months since you started this friends with benefits situation. no one in your mutuals friends is aware of this. you do your best to hide it from them, not wanting to be bothered with questions. he would just leave 5 minutes before you at parties and would wait for you in his car 200 meters away from the club’s entry. mason and you have always been close. you would always find his arm around your shoulder while talking to a friend or a teammate. you would often hustle your arm around his when weather gets colder outside. also the perfect opportunity for him to hold your hands to warm them up. these were the things you always did as best friends. yet lately, to this long list, you added lingering touches from his side on your lower back, his hand on your thigh in the car or so in front of your friends. something they quickly noticed. 

they always saw you as more than friends. to them, it was so obvious and they couldn’t understand how you would still deny it. the way he was always worried about you when you were in a club and he couldn’t find you anymore in the big crowd on the dance floor. the way he would always crack a joke in a public, yet you would be the only one he’s looking at to make sure you found it funny. the way he would already have his eyes on you before you even made it to the room. the way he would be the first person you’d run to when you have had a bad day at work. the way you would hug him a little longer than all your other friends when saying your goodbyes after a night out just so you could inhale his scent that always made you feel safe and at ease. the way your grip around your glass would tighten every time a girl would flirt with him in front of you.

the way your jaw is clenched right now as you seated on one of reece’s sofa. 2 feet away from you, here you have mason and a beautiful woman. why would you lie. she’s got long legs, brown shiny hair you only see on tv and a bright smile everyone could fall on their knees for. who were you compared to this woman. you feel like exploding every time you hear him laughing, even more when he throws back his head while laughing.

a weird feeling settling in your stomach thinking you were the only one who could make him smile this much you could perceive his eyes crinkle. that feature you loved so much, yet you despise it with everything you have right now. how naive had you been, you thought. you hated how much your friends’ words got into your head to the point you believed every one of them. because here you were seating between kai and ben, both of them joking about something you can’t even recall of, too busy paying attention to mason and her. it shouldn’t hurt this much, yet you can feel like your heart is ripped apart when she rests her hand on his thigh and he doesn’t budge.

no strings attached

hours passed by since you arrived at reece’s party and you only had one wish. to leave. you can see the clock ticking on the white wall to your left. it’s now 1am. to be honest, this is the only thing you’re paying attention to, at least trying to. you didn’t even notice reece sitting next to you until he nudged you with his arm. a playful smile plastered on his face until he saw your eyes full of sorrow. you wanted to get up and leave the moment you saw his grin replaced by a frown. you wanted to scream and tell him to stop looking at you with so much pity in his eyes. is this what you inspired to all of your friends present here? 

“hey what happened to the girl who loves to prank everyone with me during parties” he said with a pout, concern plastered all over his face. “not tonight… i’m tired” you answered, guilt written all over your face, which quickly went noticed by your friend. he’s one of those people who probably know you more than you know yourself. so he automatically knows it would be no use to ask what’s the matter when he already knows the answer is his chelsea and england teammate. instead, he does just as you needed in that moment. he proves you he’s here for you ready to talk to him when you will be ready but while waiting, he’s doing everything he can to crack a smile on your face by telling stories you already heard over and over again. making sure never to mention mason in all of them, both of you knowing he was the main part of every one of them though.

weeks had passed since that party. he ended up leaving with the girl he had passed the whole time with. to say it hurt when you saw them both leave without him even acknowledging you would be an understatement. this night led to the conclusion you were never more than sex between a win and a draining training session. you heard through some of his chelsea teammates how mason was having lots of fun with different girls on different nights. it physically became exhausting hearing about him wandering around london as if he never cared about you. what happened to all those times he would compliment you or tell you how you’re the best thing that happened to him. 

you distanced yourself from him and all your mutual friends. if he wanted to act like nothing ever happened between you two, with no explanation on this behavior changement, then so be it. as much as it hurt you, you couldn’t be arsed going out with your friends if it meant seeing him. eventually, you passed time doing activities that would keep your thoughts at bay. you spend more time at work, more time taking walks around in parks, reading books with your hot chocolate in your favorite café because you always hated coffee. and as much as it hurts deep inside you, you had never felt this amount of peace as you do right now. maybe mason wasn’t meant to be part of your life and you started to accept it.

until you saw him on a saturday night. he hadn’t noticed you yet, too focused in his heated conversation with ben. seeing him wave his hands everywhere made you wonder what was the topic of their conversation but it wasn’t your business anyway so you drifted away and went over where sophia and the girls were. a few meters away, oblivious to you, you were actually the person they were talking about.

mason feels weird to say the least. he misses seeing you almost everyday, having you on the phone when one of you couldn’t make it to each other’s place. he misses telling you about his day but most of all, he misses holding you in his arms. the weird feeling in his stomach he would get when he hears your laugh. this is when it hit him. he fell in love with you, so hard it scared him. and when he’s scared, he does the worst thing he could do. especially to you, he knows how complicated it is for you to trust people, being so used to them leaving you when you need them the most. he promised to himself he’d never do that, yet he was the reason your heart was aching now.

anyone could read the pain you ignoring him caused. ben felt sad for his friend but he couldn’t stop himself from telling him off on how badly he treated you lately. he wasn’t aware of your situationship you two shared, even though he had his suspicions something happened at some point. “i never thought you were this stupid mate. you fucked up. i shouldn’t even be telling you this but it’s so obvious to everyone she loves you. the way she’s with you, we’ve never seen her like that with someone else. sort this out or you’ll lose her.” ben said, which caused mason to drop his head and look at the floor. 

he knows he fucked up real bad, he knows it when he doesn’t get his favorite text every night with a random song she loved on that day. weird to others but to him, it meant the world knowing she would share something so intimate to him. he knows how much she loves music but also how much she keeps to herself, making her feel like she’s in her own bubble with her music. yet, she let him in and he wasn’t so sure he was still welcomed there now.

too engulfed in his thoughts, he didn’t hear what ben said until his friend reminded him how one manchester united footballer had once slide in her instagram dms. he wanted to tell his friend how he was well aware of this, remembering how irritated he was after finding out. yet he didn’t have the time as reece interrupted their conversation, informing them you were back within the group. 

what hurt him the most was what came after. he went to your side, fiddling with the end of his shirt, displaying how nervous he was to see you after what felt like an eternity to him. however, he wasn’t expecting you to greet him with so much indifference. as if he was some kind of acquaintance to you. so that was it? he had ruined the best thing he ever had in his life just because he couldn’t act like the adult he was and face his fear of loving someone, you. after this interaction, you went back to your conversation with the girls. leaving him standing there until he collected his thoughts and went to see his teammates.

hours passed with no sign from mason. you later found yourself at the bar, talking with a guy present at the party. he was nice to talk to and was funny. but he wasn’t mason. you were having a battle inside your head telling yourself not to think of him and just enjoy the moment. but that was quickly interrupted when you felt a hand grip your wrist and drag you away towards the backyard.

he couldn’t be arsed seeing this guy flirt with you. the sight of you laughing to whatever that man said was driving him wild. surely he couldn’t be that funny. the thought of you being with someone else other than him made him want to throw up right there. seeing your hand on his thigh was the last straw though. he felt his blood boil, it made him so jealous, he could feel his heart squeeze uncomfortably in his chest. 

as soon as you stepped a foot in the backyard, you removed your arm from his grip. he was taken aback by your reaction, not being used to you refusing his contact. he swears you could hear his heart beating so fast in his ribcage in this moment. 

“what’s your problem now?” you exclaimed, surprising him by your angry tone. “i miss you” was the first thing that escaped his lips, not even having the time to think twice before spilling those three words. and as much as you wanted to hear those words, you were so mad at him. how dare he?

“tell me you’re joking please. you started it. what we had, you ruined it. i should have never slept with you. look at this idiotic fool that you made me. i fell in love with you, so bad it hurt. and you were doing god knows what with all those girls knowing damn well i would hear about it. what i had with you, i can’t have it with anyone else.” he opened his mouth wanting to speak but you immediately stopped him saying “but the worst thing is that i still love you”. your voice breaking at the end. 

until then, you had managed to stop your tears from falling but they were now falling on your cheeks, blurring your vision. next thing you knew, mason had his arms wrapped around you, holding you so tight. minutes after you calmed down, he was cupping your face with his hands, wiping your tears away with his thumbs. 

“i’m sorry. i have no excuse for everything i did these past weeks. i acted like an arsehole. i don’t even deserve you. what we had, i wouldn’t want it with anyone else. i was so scared. i fell for you too, i was scared i couldn’t give you what you deserve so i started seeing other girls thinking my feelings would go away but it just got worse. i don’t even remember their names. but that was so stupid and i never want to see you cry because of me again.”

you attentively listened to every word he had to say. how bad you wanted to forget all of this and have him back in your life just like you had him by your side for years. but you couldn’t. deep down it hurt too much and you couldn’t let him come back in a flash. if he really loved you as he claimed it, then he would have to prove it with more than words. too many times for your liking, you forgave people only for them to stab you in the back later. 

and he knew that. with a smile, you turned your back to him and left him standing there dumbfounded. surely, he was expecting every reaction but this one. but he knew you like no one else does. and therefore, he couldn’t give up on you, this is not what you wanted. 

he was by your side for the rest of the night, always checking up on you to ask if you were okay but never in a way that could make you feel stressed. 3 am arrived quickly and the only thing you could dream of was your bed. to your utter surprise, mason was waiting for you by the door after you said your goodbyes to everyone, promising them you will see them soon again. you accepted his proposition to take you home, you couldn’t say no to his puppy eyes anyway. the second his car left the porch, taylor swift’s music was blasting in his car. you turned your head to his direction to be met with a grin on his flushed face. he knew the way to your heart, you thought.

if it wasn’t for the little voice telling you to make him earn you, your hands would already be cupping his cheeks, your lips on his. 

after a 25 minute drive, you made it home. he took you to your door, leaving after kissing you on the forehead, not wanting to go inside and overstep. he made sure the door was closed and waited for you to tell him you were in bed just like he had asked to. both of you feeling your tummy flutter when you opened your window to wave him off. finding him standing next to his car waiting outside, you felt like 16 years old again when you two would go on cinema dates, as friends.

eventually, 3 days later, you were on a different kind of cinema date. this time, it was at his home, in his cinema room with big blankets all over you and your favorite food. you wouldn’t have it any other way right now. 

never did he stop with those attentions and improvised dates in the next weeks. he took you home from work when he had a free afternoon. he would always send you a morning text to wish you a nice day and a goodnight text. you would sometimes receive phone calls during the day because he ‘misses your face’ as he would say. you missed his too. you could even feel butterflies erupt in your stomach whenever he’d send you a selfie, however you would never admit it. 

there was this day. he took you to portsmouth as you two were feeling homesick and were tired of the hectic life in london. you probably hadn’t been this happy in months, and judging by mason’s look, he could say the same. you felt at home, in this city but mostly in his arms as you were standing on the harbour, reminiscing the good old days. you felt at peace. how wrong were you thinking back then that maybe this man wasn’t meant to be in your life. 

you could cry out of happiness when you collected your thoughts and saw him staring at you, with a look you had never seen before. he must have seen the same one on your face, as his lips made his way to yours in the most loving way possible. pulling away seconds later to regain your breath, he murmured “can we always be this close?”.

his breath fanning over your mouth, you chuckled before putting your arms around his neck and kissed him again. 

tag: @mountpulisic

[narrans]

My Borrowed Son | 1 | That Day

It would’ve been the perfect day to rain. The divorce was finalized. The house and everything in it were divided up accordingly, but only two boxes of an entire life together had been cracked open. The rest were still taped and shoved in every free space available. 

Seven years. It had only been seven years. Well… they don’t call it the seven year itch for nothing, but why did it have to be her? 

Amanda Silverstein sat on the edge of the hard plastic bench just beside the playground in the neighborhood she moved into just one month ago. 

The sun shone brightly on the metallic structure that made up the playground. The swings drifted back and forth in the light breeze that didn’t reach the clouds high above. It looked abandoned, but school was in session, so no kids were present yet. 

In a perfect world, Amanda could have seen her children playing on a playground like this. The house her and her now ex-husband had was next to a lovely playground.

All of these hopes and dreams were now dry and fading like the link signature on the divorce papers sitting on her kitchen table. 

They weren’t, however, dry like her eyes. Amanda hadn’t stopped the slow stream of leaking tears since she went on her walk. The warmth of the sun couldn’t penetrate the barrier of numb sorrow strangling her heart. Every moment, she wondered what she could’ve done differently. Could she have spoken softer? Was it the hours she worked? Her desire for kids? What chased him away? Or was it inevitable? Were there too many differences in the first place? Was there anything she could’ve done? 

Amanda hung her head and laced her fingers through her hair by her scalp. Deep breath after deep breath, she was managing to keep herself from succumbing to the nausea plaguing her. Head throbbing, she leaned back and stared at the cloudless sky. 

It was only now that she realized she wasn’t shuddering with every breath. She filled her lungs and exhaled the first calm breath she had taken in hours. 

What was she going to do now? Work, obviously; but what else? The possibilities were endless, and the vastness was all consuming. 

It was too much…

And…

Really…

What she was actually asking herself was what was she going to do without him. 

Was it even worth it? 

Chest clenching in the familiar aching throb, Amanda felt on the verge of another round of sobs when she heard something. 

It was a soft sob, and it didn’t come from her. It was a sniffling sob that sounded close, but a quick glance around revealed no one. 

Amanda composed herself and wiped her palm against her cheek, smearing what little makeup she placed on her eyes. 

“Hello?” she called. The little sob was close, but no one was around her. 

More importantly, the sob sounded like it was… under… the bench. 

Amanda swallowed dryly and dared her curious side to peer under the bench as she heard another impossibly soft cry. There was no way something was there, right? 

She pulled her skirt to the side and looked, heart skipping every other beat in her chest as she did. 

Naturally, nothing seemed to be under there… at first. 

Then, after a moment of staring intensely and unblinking at the same spot while allowing her eyes to unfocus, she saw some of the tall blades of grass twitch. Amanda held her breath. Did she just see that? 

She focused on the same spot and, once again, saw the tall blades of grass twitch and something pull closer to the pole. Mortified, Amanda pulled her whole body up onto the bench, fearing it might be an injured creature like a mouse. 

But… how could it be a mouse? It was a light sandy brown and was too round for a mouse. 

Perhaps it was one of those crying dolls that a child lost earlier on the playground? 

Amanda dared herself again to peer over the edge and, with the utmost care, pulled the blades of grass out of her field of vision. 

Almost instantly stunned, she found herself locking eyes with the smallest boy she had ever seen in her life. Soft brown eyes and gaunt features, a boy no bigger than Amanda’s thumb was huddled next to the metallic part of the pole that supported the bench. 

Upon seeing Amanda, the child scurried away to the other side of the pole, peering out only a little to reveal his fear filled eyes. 

Amanda felt like she was about to faint. Stunned beyond words didn’t cover the rush of emotions she experienced. Completely flabbergasted, Amanda could only stare at the boy, jaw slack with surprise. 

Was he real? 

Was he a hallucination? 

Was this some kind of manifested stress creature because of everything she was going through recently? 

She found herself muttering, “Hey there,” before she could stop herself. The boy, who looked thin and filthy, whimpered, and retreated back behind the pole once again, and he didn’t reappear despite Amanda being able to hear him. 

Amanda’s anxiety from her own predicament was immediately replaced by questions and concern about this child. 

Was he alone? 

Was he real? 

Where were his parents? 

He looked human enough, but he couldn’t be human if he were that small, right? 

What should she do? Should she call the police? Or was he more like an animal and, if she touched him, he would be rejected by his family. 

What should she do? 

~~~~~^*^*^*^*^~~~~~

Continue

[urfriendlylocalidiot]

Please, please start sending in requests and I’ll get to them as soon as I can! Haerin & Hyein’s are really short because I ran out of ideas lol. (but I do have exams for the next 2 weeks so give me some time)

NewJeans x 6thMember!Reader

Spring w/NewJeans

Spring symbolizes new beginnings, it reawakens the world and is perfect for new memories with your love.

Minji

Although it’s not her favorite season, it’s only one away from it, summer. It’s the perfect weather to go on long walks or bike rides with you. She would definitely plan the cutest dates for you two. If you so much as mentioned something earlier, she would try her best to make it happen. One time you sent her a funny tiktok of a bird running into a kite. And the next date she took you on, you guys flew kites.

However, what spring is actually perfect for is, is a picnic for the two of you. On the first day of spring, Minji plans a picnic for the two of you. This date though, you insist on helping her with. It would be way too much for her plan AND make all the food you argue. After some back and forth, she reluctantly lets you help her make sandwiches for the two of you while she cuts up some fruit. You finish in record time, with only Hyein coming in and stealing a sandwich.

The date ends up being perfect, the weather is beautiful, the food is delicious and the company is the best. You’ve never been more happy in your whole life, then you were right now, breaking in spring with Minji.

Hanni

Spring with Hanni would be interesting to say the least. She does like the season, all the sunshine is perfect, however she doesn’t like how hot and unbearable it gets outside at times. Would still love the season if you did though, she loves seeing you happy.

Since she knows how to cook, she will be making you and the other members Vietnamese spring rolls. And they are definitely the best thing you’ll ever eat in your life. It instantly becomes a core memory for you, just eating a delicious lunch made by her with the group.

You two would definitely still be spending a lot of time indoors, however you guys would definitely open windows to let in the natural sunlight. Just reading together or any mundane task, is more fun with sunlight and you cannot get over how good she looks when bathed in it. She whines a little when you keep on staring at her, but you just can’t help it, she’s so pretty.

Danielle

It’s both of your favorite season! That means, you guys spending every free moment you have together, doing something outside. Picnics quickly become an every weekend tradition, sometime with the other members, other times just you two. If it is you two, then you’ll usually surprise her with sunflowers, since they’re in bloom now!

Every day that the sun is out, you guys end up going on a walk outside, holding hands of course. The weather is just so perfect, along with the company of course. You guys would talk about future plans and frustrations you two may have about work. Sometimes, you guys even go to the pool together, if you have enough free time. She loves swimming after all, if you don’t know how to, she’d definitely teach you. However after you learned or if you already knew she would definitely race you in the pool.

For her birthday though, you guys would definitely go to an amusement park and ride every single ride together. The members would complain about having the third wheel the two of you. But you two know it’s all in good fun.

Haerin

Long walks while listening to music she found and holding hands is a must during this season for you two. Would definitely want to know your opinion on each song to and if you don’t tell her your honest opinion, she’ll know and pout until you tell her the truth. Would probably take advantage of the Easter chocolate on sale during this time.

On your walks you guys would probably stop at a local park and play on the playground like little kids. You would definitely take pictures of how cute she looks, it’s fun feeling like a little kid again amidst how crazy your lives can get at times. This would also possibly inspire a song written by you two.

Hyein

Bike rides are a must for you two, it’s just nice to see the scenery this time of year. You two would definitely eat and make a lot of strawberry dishes. You just love spending time during spring with Hyein, you never feel more alive than when you’re with her.

[endoffcl]

Lovers Arc.

cw. implied child neglect, implied emotional abuse, implied sexual abuse, implied homophobia, none of these things are gone into detail dw, lore post yay!!

Yamato loves love.

Ever since he was young– ever since he first watched his parents fawn all over each other he was obsessed with the idea. When he saw adults in his life be kind to one another, when he saw them hold each other close. When he saw the other kids on the playground make up little rings to give to each other, and put on play weddings for the entire school yard to attend, the concept became an ideal.

Or maybe it's better to say he’s in love with the idea of it.

His youngest memories can be found seeking out the one thing he craved so much from his parents. Trying to do them well– make them proud of him. Show off his artwork from classes, do well on his school reports, be the best on any sports team he was a part of. Be a part of the holy grail they had for each other yet completely lacked for him.

He still remembers well holding up an art piece he was proud of. One he even got an award for in school. Tried to show it off to his parents that were so in love with each other that they completely forgot about him. Neglected his existence to the point he was making his own meals by 5, finding his own way to school by 6. Learning his parents signature to report on documents for himself that they were meant to sign by 7.

Acted as if he was just a ghost in their very home. Just another accessory to the perfect life where they had each other. A house, a car, a kid. Just another obligation to be fulfilled by their parents when really they wanted to seek solstice in no one but each other.

But he still loved them. Still wanted to be a part of their love. The love that felt like the epitome of the rest of the world.

As he got older he figured out on his own he was never really wanted. Just a creation to make his grandparents happy. The one thing that makes their family appear to be happy on the outside, yet no love or care was given to him by them. A troubled glance by his father– a man who would burn down the world for his wife and, a spiteful glare by his mother, a woman who never wanted to carry him in the first place.

He learned that no matter how much he wanted to be cared for by them, he would never feel the same thing back.

And so he turned his ideals onto others. Found comfort, found love in other people. At least, what he thought was love. Innocent sort of things at first, really. A girlfriend in middle school– real shy and cute who always asked him to buy her snacks. Ignored him whenever he refused to beat up other guys for her. Broke up with him when he ran out of money. When he could no longer be what she wanted him to be.

That was the first time he learned that his love could be compiled into what he could do for others. For what he could provide.

A boyfriend when he was in his senior year of high school who refused to let anyone know about him– kept their “love” to texts at 2 in the morning and hotel visits. Yamato wasn’t even allowed to look at him during school. Wasn’t allowed to speak to him without his boyfriend's entire friend group threatening to beat him up.

But at night in those hotels– those cheap fucking love hotels, he would coddle Yamato. Comfort him by telling him it was his fault. Brushing his hair so gentle while explaining that what he did was wrong and that they have to stay a secret for ‘such obvious reasons’. Yamato understood. Yamato understood his boyfriend's parents weren’t accepting. Understood his friends were homophobic too. Understood that they had to stay a secret because someday, someday they would fully be able to be together.

And he was in love– or in love with the idea of love, so could you really blame him?

He wasn’t as kind as all the girlfriends Yamato had before. There was no break up, no final farewell. One day his boyfriend, or who he thought was his boyfriend was just ice. Yamato got the hint.

He is only good for what he can provide anyway– and when he's no longer able to, when he's served his purpose. It’s over. And that’s okay. Because that's love. Love to him, anyway.

Most relationships of his followed a similar path. Falling for someone so hard he can't breathe– feeling that warm, gushy feeling inside of his heart that makes him want to do anything and everything for the one he's set his sights on. The one he wants to become addicted to. The one he wants to feel affection from, feel his worth in. Feel from them. Give his all– mind, body, and soul just to please. Take all the love he can from them until he is inevitably pushed to the side again and again once things get ‘too serious.’

Becoming a third in a relationship, dealing because his partners want the money, giving up his passions of art– his dream of owning a studio to teach kids how to draw, just because his partner said he should. That it was a waste of time and money.

He should give up on love, really, he should. He doesn’t even know if what he feels really is love, to be honest. He's never experienced it, so how is he supposed to know what it feels like inside or out.

Well, whatever it is it’s led to nothing but bad things in his life. But he can’t help it. Really, he can't. He is a lover at heart– a hopeless romantic to his core. And when he feels just a drop, an ounce of what he perceives as love he can’t help but listen to his heart sing. Listen to the pull that tells him its fate– that maybe this is the one. That maybe he can stop searching for what he craves to his core.

Maybe it's a sickness– an illness or something. Maybe the love, obsession he feels isn’t normal, maybe he should listen to his therapist more. He doesn’t know. Yamato, he doesn’t know a lot of things. He knows that, at least. But he knows how to be what other people want. And he knows that he wants to feel love so terribly that he’d do just anything to find it.

Yamato loves love, afterall.

Or the idea of it, anyway.

[scarlet-pandrian]

Can You Be My Sunflower In The Snow

To grow up without a father was something Dustin never thought of as a problem. Why should it be one? His mother was perfect in every sense of the word. Claudia Henderson was a Goddess on earth, she did everything in her might to give Dustin the perfect childhood, to fulfill every wish he had. She worked at night so she could be there for him every morning to make him breakfast. She drove him to the playground, the Wheelers’ and then the arcade everyday until she got him his first bike. And even then she tried to drive him at night out to school events, she even drove him to his first ever convention.

When Dustin turned seven he learned about summer camps and all those different kinds of camps. He fell in love instantly because he saw an opportunity to see the world and learn different kinds of things. There were summer camps for math, for astrology and tech- things he was interested in. So Claudia, the angel she was, saved money every year so Dustin could go to summer camp, because Dustin loved it there. When he met Mike's parents for the first time, he realized one thing. A father wasn’t important. Ted Wheeler sat in his armchair, read his newspaper and told them off because they ate too loud. When he met Will’s parents he was grateful for his mother- for only having his mom, because Lonnie Byers was an A-grade asshole. Then the trio met Lucas at the arcade and they became friends and so he met the Sinclairs.

Mr.Sinclair was…he was kind, and supportive of Lucas but he also worked a lot, so oftentimes he only saw Mrs.Sinclair and Baby Sinclair. For a minute he thought that fathers could also be something good, something a young kid needs but then everything happened at the Byers’ and he saw how much Joyce loved her kids and how little Lonnie loved them. So, in his book, that was it. Why should he need a Dad if he had the best Mom out there?

So Dustin never understood why he should need or want a dad, he had everything he needed with Claudia. He did understand however, how lonely it was to be an only child. His Mom called him precious when he was a child because that's what he was for her: precious. But his Mom never wanted a second child- or rather she could never afford another child and couldn’t get over the death of her husband. So Dustin was her everything and that was okay but…kook. He had eyes, and all his friends had siblings, Mike even had two of them.

Will and Jonathan had a bond like no other, they probably needed it, but Jon did everything for Will. He brought him to every playdate the kids had, he shaped his taste in music and clothes and he was simply there for him. Lucas on the other hand didn’t adore his little sister, sometimes he hated her, because he couldn’t go to places with his friends because of her or because she was nosy. But at the end of the day…he helped her with everything. They always did their homework together and Lucas told them that he sometimes missed watching saturday morning cartoons together with Erica in his bed.

And Mike- two sisters, that was a lot. Especially Nancy. But she was the first person Mike ever played DnD with, she was the first person who would know something about his life, he would always go to Nancy when life got hard and he could always go to Holly to simply laugh or play Knights and Princess with her.

His friends were never alone, when the party wasn't together. Dustin however- he was alone at home. No nosy sibling, no one to share a secret or a meal with. He was all alone when Claudia went to work or even when she was at home. She was his mother not…a friend.

He wished for a sibling, but he wasn't stupid, he knew he would never get one and that was okay. He had friends, the best friends a boy could wish for.

And then he met Steve Harrington and everything changed. It was such a corny and stupid sentence but at the end of the day, no, at the end of the world, it was true. If Dustin ever stuck into a time loop, he would adopt Dart every single damn time for the rest of his life just to meet Steve Harrington. He didn't see ‘King Steve The Hair Harrington’ that day at the Wheelers’, he saw a boy that wanted to meet a girlfriend who wasn't even there. He saw someone strong who could help him find his demodog. He did not think that this boy would stand between him and his friends and a hoard of demodogs, that this boy would fight Billy freaking Hargrove for them, for Lucas, for Max. But when that day had ended, he had known for sure that he never wanted this boy to leave his life again.

Dustin knew that Nancy and Jonathan helped Mike and Will for the Snow Ball, he knew Erica made fun of Lucas’ outfit that day and…yeah. He wanted help for his hair, he wanted to look good for Max and the ladies but he also wanted to not be alone, to have someone that would be there for him but also would make fun of his stupid suit. And Steve; he was the first person to ever be a sibling for him.

Steve was his brother in every sense of the word. After Upside Down Round 2 and ‘the fight’ Steve made sure that somebody would drive them, because nobody knew for sure what could happen in a town like Hawkins.

He could simply call Steve and ask him for help and he would be there. But he also realized something else at that time.

He was not the only kid who felt lonely, who wished for a sibling. Dustin was many things;stupid wasn't one of them. He noticed rather quickly the loneliness Steve carried with him. A big house, with no parents ever present, nobody who would go to his competitions, nobody who cooked food for him, there was simply Steve in this house filled with ghosts instead of memories. And Dustin hated this, he told Claudia about this and his mom, she was an angel, wanted Steve's phone number, called him and Sunday's Dinner got invented. She loved cooking, so to have another tummy to fill was a dream come true for her.

He hated sports and he hated watching them, but he tried to visit Steve's competitions because if he wasn't there, nobody was and Steve… he always laughed about it. Dustin didn’t understand why, until he realized that Steve was a fighter and a fighter will never show you his weakness. So Steve played it off, his absent parents, his loneliness and that he lost his friend group. It was a shitty friend group for sure, but it was everything he had for a long time and to now see them hate him, that must hurt.

1985 was the first year Dustin thought about not going to summer camp. They rarely talked about the Upside Down, because trauma bonds are strong but also create walls you can't easily climb, but he feared that something could happen if he wasn't there. That not everyone would be here, when he will come back. He hated his thoughts but he feared for Will and he saw how little Steve thought of himself, which in this context meant, he would sacrifice himself first before anyone if they got hurt. He dreamed about coming back and standing before Steve's gravestone… he woke up screaming, he woke up crying after these nightmares.

So he told his Mom that he was too old for summer camp, that the money should go to his college fund and that there wasn't even any interesting camps anymore. Which was a lie of course, he wanted to go to Camp Know Where for years, he stood on the waiting list for 5 years and this year he got accepted. But the camp was simply that, a camp. Steve, he was his brother, the boys and Max were his party, his family. He could not leave them.

Steve was the one who sent him to summer camp. He helped him pack and he told him that everything would be fine, they made a code system that summer and he forced the Harrington boy into writing him letters every single week.

So when he came back and met Robin Buckley, the co-worker Steve wrote a lot about in his letters, Dustin was excited.

But then, oh no, Upside Down Round 3 began. Though he didn't know that, he thought the Russians and the Upside Down were two completely different things, yeah. He was wrong, they were the same fucking thing. And again, here was Steve, helping him, getting beat up for him and Erica and that nosy co-worker girl. He meant it when he said “If you die, I die” because what should he do without Steve? He never had a brother but he knew there would never be a better brother than Steve in his life. They were meant to be brothers, two lonely boys in a hellish town. Steve was all the goodness Dustin never possessed. He… couldn't be weak, not in his condition, not when he needed to help Will feel comfortable. Steve, after he got rid of those stupid rich kids, was everything good in this world. He was a sunflower in a field of snow, strong enough to withstand the cold world.

A lot of people, Mike included, told him that Steve was a dick in High School, but he saw it as a defense mechanism, something Steve did because he was a soft soul after all. Something Steve did because a lot of people hurt him and everything he wished for was to be loved. And at the end of the day, Dustin too, was an asshole. He called Steve stupid and other names, because the other boy didn’t understand him. He called Erica childish simply because she was younger than the rest of them. He was booksmart, the others were booksmart, his girlfriend was booksmart so Dustin had a problem with people who weren't. Some people simply aren't smart but they are something better, something that is way harder to achieve, because they are kind. And Steve, he was kind and loved with his full body, he would rescue them before even thinking about himself.

So yeah, he didn’t know how he could ever live without that person in his life. He saved Steve not only because he loved him, he saved him, because Dustin couldn’t phantom a life without Steve in it anymore. He could not even think about a life as an only child because he had Steve and he would die before losing Steve again.

Steve warned him, all of them really, what it could mean to be a freshman, who to trust and which people to avoid. Dustin thought this all would be bullshit. He wore his math shirt on the first day, ran into Jason Craver and then he got a swirly. An amazing first day, really. It was great. On his second day he searched for Eddie Munson. Will had told them that Eddie had helped him, that he'd given him permission to join his school club. So of course Dustin and the boys tried to get into Hellfire. Eddie was an ass, but he also looked at them, really looked at them and then they were never alone again. The curly haired boy helped them find a footing in a school that was so different from the one before. In a time when Mike lost his focus because he lost El and Will. In a time when Lucas and Max broke up and didn’t get together again. In a time when it felt like they lost the red-haired girl.

Yeah, at first he wanted to meet Eddie for Hellfire, for a good DM to finally play again because Mike wasn’t all that great. But then he and Eddie, they clicked. The other boy had an amazing taste in fantasy literature, his music taste was a bit off but that was okay because Eddie could talk for hours about different music genres, like Dustin could talk for hours about numbers.

When he realized that Steve Harrington was jealous of Eddie Munson? He had not believed it himself, because he had never thought about Steve's side in this situation, that for the other boy it must have felt like losing a loved one again. That Dustin would be away on Sundays more and more, that sometimes Steve didn’t meet him outside of driving him places for weeks on end. He saw that Eddie and Dustin not only clicked but that they were similar. And Dustin? What did he do about it? He made fun of Steve.

But nothing could have ever prepared him for the springbreak of hell.

The Upside Down would always return on important days, never did the shit hit the fan at some boring time like a regular Monday. They've had Christmas, Halloween and the Fourth of July and now every spring break will remind him of this…this horrible round 4 of the Upside Down.

When he saw that the police of Hawkins had Eddie as their main suspect his first instinct was calling Steve, because his big brother always helped him. So he got Max and they drove to Family Video, they found Eddie, because Robin was a smartass like them, and got him back. They had a chance to help, to save him. And everytime in this awful week, every single time he thought they could make it, that it could only get better at that point, it got worse.

He never saw Steve's recklessness as a cry for help, so he also never saw Eddie's big personality as armor or a shield for the other boy to hide behind. Eddie was a bard, he was a natural at entertaining others. He had the ability to manipulate others into believing that he was this strong and loud-mouthing man. But at the end of the game, when no dice will roll again, he was a lonely little boy who didn't even believe in himself. Who didn’t believe in the fact that others could love him, who could never love himself. He didn't believe the fact that his uncle Wayne loved him to the moon and back, that he wasn't a burden for the other man but a blessing. He also did not believe that his friends actually liked him, that they would be sad without him. That he had an impact on anyone. That he changed the lives of others for the better. Eddie, he was like the moon. The light that was surrounded by others but would alway shine the brightest. The guiding light, that you’d follow when everything else is dark.

Eddie, he became Dustin's second brother. And he was the first person who died that really meant something to him.

Sometimes he would wake up and ask himself if he could have done more, if he could have told Eddie more often how important he was to him and them, that he was as much part of his party as the rest of them. Sometimes he would wake up screaming the name of this lost boy and then he would cry. Because at the end of the day, it would always be Dustin's fault.

He also screamed that fateful day. First he yelled after Eddie, he tried his best to get back into the hell dimension to help. But he was too slow, all those Demobats fell to the ground and then there was his brother, bloodied on the cold ground. In that moment he wasn’t the moon, he was a shooting star. “I didn’t run away this time, right?” He wished that Eddie would have run away or that he could have just cast a saving spell and Eddie would get back up and laugh, but this wasn’t a stupid game. This was reality and reality really sucked.

He made him swear that he would take on Hellfire, that he would be the next Eddie…but how could he save other kids if he could not even save his own brother? What did Eddie see in him? He was another lost soul, not a shining moon or a strong sunflower. He was only Dustin Henderson.

When Eddie had stopped breathing…Dustin had screamed at him first, he should wake up, he can’t go and leave him alone. And then he'd screamed for Steve, Steve could help him and… he wanted his brother there. The Harrington boy ran, but even running through the Upside Down will not bring a dead one back. Steve had stood there, over them, he got to Dustin and hugged him, so hard that it felt like his ribs would break.

The first days after getting out there… actually, to this day he didn't know what he'd felt back then. Telling Wayne Munson that his nephew died; how can you tell a man that his greatest gift was gone forever? Dustin was not cut out for this. He was a simple boy, he could explain Euler's identity, but how could he explain to a man that his only child had died protecting a town that tried to hunt him down? That he did not kill Chrissy, that he'd played the most metal concert in history, that he did not only save Dustin but changed his life for the better. After this day he never saw Wayne Munson again, he asked himself a lot why. Had the old man died of a broken heart? He will never find the answer and he is happy about that. Sometimes it is better if a mystery stays a mystery.

“Never change, Dustin Henderson”; Eddie was a stupid boy for telling him that and then dying. Because traumatic events will always change people. He was so angry at Max because Billy was an abusive prick, more than one time Billy tried to kill them and yet Max changed after losing Billy. She changed so much that she would have almost been his second victim. Losing Eddie did the same with Dustin, it changed him. He got irrationally angry, at everyone and everything. He would snap, at his friends, at Steve and at his mom. Because nobody could understand Dustin. Nobody knew how it felt for him to visit Eddie's grave and see these awful words. Eddie was not a murderer or a cultist or a monster, he was a kind boy, too kind for this town.

He started growing his hair out, started wearing rings, he wanted to be closer to the shadow of a boy, to the ghost of his brother. He tried so hard to get Eddie back, to be near him that he forgot about Steve. Steve had Robin, she was his soulmate. Steve had the party, they loved him. Steve had Claudia, or so he thought.

He knew that this was not over, everyone knew it really. It was a matter of time, really.

In 1988, He started High School as a senior, he was the head of Hellfire and he got together with Suzie. Overall a good year, the perfect time for the Upside Down to make a comeback.

Steve and Robin started community College and worked their fifth job together, everything was fine. Yeah, he was a dick to the people he loved most, but other than that everything was fine.

Losing Steve was a pain Dustin could not put into words. Steve died a hero, saving the people he loved the most. He was a level 20 paladin, the strongest soldier they had, the most loyal soul out there. But even that could not save him, when death stood at his door. The worst part was that Dustin wasn’t even there when it happened. He came back and he saw Eleven and Mike, He saw Will and Nancy. But he couldn’t see Robin, or Jonathan or…Steve. He lost his triumphant smile instantly, he asked for them and everyone got silent. Something was so wrong he felt it. And then he saw Robin Buckley, this strong and quick-witted woman, bent over a bloodied body, over a young man with brown hair and closed eyes.

“No”, he screamed. Robin looked at him with red rimmed eyes that screamed of sadness.

“Dustin, I'm sorry…”

He sat beside her and they held Steve together, a long time. He could not let go of his brother and she could not let go of her other half, her soulmate.

Sometimes, on good days, Dustin would buy sunflowers and Robin would buy ice cream and they'd meet, sit together, listen to Tears for Fears and Abba and in these small moments he felt Steve at their side. Holding their hands and smiling.

On other days he would smash a vase and cry for hours because he never in his life wanted to be an only child again and he missed them so much that even breathing hurt.

Today he was back in Hawkins, it was his 22nd Birthday. Eddie never got to be 22. Steve never got older than 22. The boys wanted to throw him a big party, they wanted to celebrate because every year they make it was another year worth celebrating, right? Birthdays were something they needed to celebrate because there was a time in their life that simply wasn't on the table anymore. He decided against it, and told them next year. That he needed to be in Hawkins again this year. So he bought flowers and visited Claudia again. His mother never left this cursed town. He was thankful for her because he would have never left if she wasn’t here.

They ate his birthday cake and talked about his new girlfriend, about university and the boys. She told him that Max got better at walking and that her new cat was a shy little thing.

Then he bought big and beautiful sunflowers. He wanted the most beautiful ones because he wanted the best for the king. He also bought another set of beautiful dice.

Meeting his brothers on his special day was his only birthday wish this year. He sat in between their graves and laughed for a moment before he laid his presents at their graves.

“I miss you guys so much, you know? I think…I think I was the luckiest guy on this planet to get to meet you, to call you both my brothers. I hope you two are proud of me. I know I changed a lot. But I hope that…That I changed to be like you guys? I’m happy about it. About not being an only child anymore, about talking about you, because you are my heroes and…Thank you. Both of you.”

Also on AO3:

[mvltisstuff]

for whom the bell tolls - p.p

summary: y/n can’t help but take revenge on the person who ruined her childhood. as hard as peter tries, he nor the avengers can stop her.

peter parker x reader

a/n: i rewatched infinity war today so i was in an mcu mood yk :)) i also used a villain name generator so that’s why his names a little funky 😭 ALSO i kinda imagined y/n’s powers kinda like thenas cosmic energy weapons in eternals!!

y/n has had nothing but fury for one man her whole life. the man who lay her mothers body in front of her as she watched her life crumble before her eyes. her home was destroyed, along with her regular childhood.

she was just a normal kid. she played outside with friends on the playground. she talked to them during lunch in school. she came home and spent time with her parents. she hadn’t even hit the third grade before it was turned upside down.

y/n hadn’t seen this excuse of a person since her parents were murdered before her. he never produced the fighters himself, leaving it to his own workers. she remembers the exact face summoning her away and placing her into doom. the experiments were run, and she was forced into isolation from her peers in the world.

nightsiege had been behind the whole matter, the mastermind. he was able to capture y/n at the perfect time, training her to become one of his own army with combat skills and using her own powers.

y/n was fully aware of the life she was missing. she watched the world around her as she could never escape the nightmare. she was supposed to be top of her class, but she was top product of the nightsiege’s manipulation instead.

it wasn’t until the base was invaded by the avengers when receiving their own threat, easily being able to demolish the sources. y/n stood out immensely. she wasn’t running for cover, she was fighting for herself. the team knew she needed help, but they also knew she had too much potential to be a hero. so, they took her back to the compound. they trained her properly in new york, trying to undo some of the trauma impended on her from the siege corporations. pretty soon, she was enrolled into school, easily meshing in educationally but socially was another story.

being completely shut out from the world sets you back. she was awkward, but a sweet soul. she just wanted friends, and the adorable boy came over to her with his friend to sit with her. peter knew what it was like to be an outcast. of course, not the same way y/n was, but he was a friend. yeah, tony had told him to be nice to her, but it meshed into more. she became a true functioning person in society because of peter. he guided her through life, teaching her about things she missed when she was being experimented on. she held him dearly, having nothing but admiration for him. he never once stepped away from her side. he listened to all of her stories, and spent time with her out of school. he became her person, her safe space. peter knows what it’s like to have a responsibility that you didn’t ask for.

peter was completely mesmerized by her abilities, making swords and shields from her bare hands. her defense was incredible, and peter became better from her. y/n opened peters eyes more than by just training. he came to terms that you can do a lot with a little. it doesn’t matter what your background is, because anyone has to power to rescue someone else.

peter vividly remembers the day he asked her out. he was shaking like a leaf all day, may almost having to sedate him. he didn’t want to overstep on her growth, taking note on how far she’s come. he couldn’t hold it in anymore. it felt like something was holding them apart from growing up together, and he needed to say something before it all turned to rust. she eased him quickly, calming all his anxieties with just one kiss.

they spent every day together. weekends and weekdays were filled with school and training and missions. this was one of the days, after school in the training rooms of the compound. they had it all alone, and y/n stood holding pads for peter to punch.

“c’mon, y/n!” he shouts, happily. “stop going easy on me!”

“i’m not going easy on you!” she replies. “trust me, you’d be begging me to stop if i went any further.”

“…that’s what she said,” peter whispers as y/n smacks the pad against his head.

“grow up, spider-boy,” she beams, continuing to let him practice.

the rest of the avengers were in the other room, discussing an upcoming debacle. tony, steve, natasha, and bruce stood around the table, connecting with thor in asgard. “if he hasn’t been to asgard, tony, he’s back to earth.”

“didn’t we go to that department the other day?” nat adds. “y/n was there for that, he could’ve somehow heard she’s with us.”

“because he wants her back. she’s only getting more powerful and he wants to manipulate her more,” steve speaks next, starting to put the puzzle pieces together.

“well, why didn’t the creep come sooner if he knew she was out? he’s only coming because he knows she’s with us,” tony questions.

“nightsiege wanted her to get to her highest level of skill before he started to utilize her. besides, he’s been anti-avenger since the day we formed so we’re the last people he wants her with,” nat tells him. “it’s similar to the red-room. you were used until you were perfect. he wouldn’t even kill her, he’d just torture her further.”

“do we tell her, i mean, i think she has a right to know-“

“no,” steve tells bruce. “she could get hurt or killed if she tries to intervene. it’s best if we handle this on our own, without her and peter.”

“handle what?” peter asks, his soft voice ringing through the room as y/n stands behind him, looking fearfully at the superheroes in the room.

“so he’s only coming back to take me away?”

“basically, yes,” tony says.

“what about the other ones? why doesn’t he want them?”

“they’re not with the avengers, and none of them have the skill set that you have with the powers,” bruce tells her, looking into her frightened eyes, trying to cover up her worry. “and your parents, probably have something to do with it.”

“he killed them, that’s the deal with them,” y/n sits in the chair, thinking heavily about the situation in her hands. “i’m finding him.”

“no,” peter murmurs. “i don’t think that’s a good idea, like at all.”

“the kids right,” tony says. “you’re one of the strongest forces on this planet but you don’t have the capabilities to fully take this guy down.”

a switch flips in y/n, a side of her that she tried to bury away is released. she’s craved revenge and shooting karma his way, but she’s held it in. its been on the tip of her tongue since she watched her parents take their last breath and now it’s right in front of her. peter saw her eyes darken at the mention of him. he watched the bright smile on her face disintegrate away at the thought. a naïve part of him hoped they were past it. the young, innocent parts of themselves prayed that he was gone, never to return. unfortunately, it’s never that simple.

the second y/n ran out of that room and left the compound, they knew they were in for a ride of hell. y/n became like a daughter to them, and friend. they treated her like royalty since they say they found her, often forgetting that she capable on her own since she was so young.

when y/n found herself taking the jet, she knew she could never go back. just leaving the compound meant she was in too deep, and she just hoped she wouldn’t regret it. she was able to track down a secret management base that nightsiege would be most likely to go to. that’s where the all the information is, different from the actually training site.

“y/n’s gone,” tony alerts. “she’s trying to find nightsiege alone, which she can’t do.”

“i’ll check the tracking status on the missing jet,” bruce moves to one of the computers, seeing the new site on the map. “she’s at the info base.”

“damn it, kid,” tony shakes his head, rubbing his eyes. “well, suit up, what are we waiting for?”

peter glances as him anxiously, knowing y/n wants to do it alone. peters always tried to please everyone. if y/n gets mad at him, he’ll get mad at himself and he can’t handle her people being mad at him. peter knows there’s a right and a wrong here, and he senses full jeopardy coming toward y/n. he’s loved her for years, and peter is y/n’s favorite person. so, he goes along with avengers, going to find y/n and her vengeance.

when y/n climbed through the back entrances, she was confronted with pure darkness. the only thing that she could hear was the light whirring of the air and machinery above her. the room was filled with metal pipes and tanks. there were small offices, pitch black with nothing but a white shade in front of the windows. she illuminated her path by using a golden defense baton that was formed from her hands. her footsteps from the thick boots on her feet echoed through the tall ceilings.

when she stepped forward, she felt a bench of buttons and switches in front of her. she pressed the power key, causing a screen to shine in front of her. it contained files and sections of confidential information at the tip of her fingers. as she was preoccupied looking at the words on the massive screen, the noises behind her did not go unnoticed.

“i thought that i’d find you here,” he speaks strongly, chills rushing down y/n’s spine. she never knew that the sound of someone’s voice could make her feel sick to her stomach. “what’s brought you to me, child?”

“i’m ending all of this,” y/n turns, making eye contact with the monster in front of her. he had his own protection on, covered in armor and his own weapons. she points to the screen in front of her, all of the crucial files, including her own.

“you’ll never get those files, y/n. you are not nearly as strong as you need to be. i came to save you.”

“i don’t need any more saving, not from you.”

“you’ve been poisoned by the avengers. they’ve brainwashed you and completely put you in a box. i made you the strongest version of yourself.”

“the worst version of myself was when i was under your control. you’re a weak, weak man who has nothing going for him but a bunch of lame excuses of experiments. you ripped my life to pieces with no remorse.”

his feet slam closer to y/n, his figure coming more into sight as she takes another step backwards. “you’ll never learn, y/n. your parents were never good for you. i saved you.”

flashes of the people who really saved y/n go through her mind. memories of her and peter together are flooding her. every touch, every word, every moment with him. the life she has now is only because of peter. every single part of her wishes he were there to fight this battle with her, but she had to do it alone.

“you’re psychotic,” y/n whispers as he shakes his head with a manic smirk on his face.

“you’re never getting what you want from me.”

“then i’ll get it from your corpse,” y/n spits out at him, shooting out swords from her wrists in milliseconds. she charges toward him, releasing bursts of energy onto his body, forcing him back before he gets up. he runs toward her, grabbing her much smaller body and throwing it against the wall with his strength. she slides down with the shattered glass, picking herself up as he walks over with his knives.

her hand meets his forearm, her leg smashing into his waist, making him buckle over. his grip remained on the weapon, leaving a slash over y/n’s thigh. she grunts out, but is able to form a ring of energy over her hand, connecting it with his throat as she kicks in the back of his knees.

his hand is in defense on his neck, but the power from him brings down chunks of the metal ceilings, falling around y/n and collapsing on top of her.

she forces a shield out of her, shoving the debris off her body and swiftly acting back on the villain. she somehow manages to land an aggressive punch on his face, temporarily disorienting him. his own fist connects with hers, covered in rough metal. her nose dripped of blood, leaving smears along with the cuts and bruises on her face from earlier impacts. her body’s tired, wanting to just leave and give up but never being able to let him win. he would kill her because he’s scared of her. somehow, the thought of him being scared pushed her even further.

the next time she blinked, she saw nightsiege being swept away, a long string of webbing dragging him backward. he was confused by the sticky substance on his back, slicing it off with his smaller knife. when he tried stepping forward again, one of the arrows from clint had exploded, forcing him onto his back before he could even think.

y/n brought herself up, landing toward him as she pushed herself up with the energy. her indestructible knife was no match for his, the two having it out in the middle of the ground. caps shield had come between the two, slicing the blade in half as y/n’s was faded back into her powerful hands. the force from the shield had sent nightsiege back onto the ground on his back. when he leaned up, his knife sliced cleanly across y/n’s stomach, leaving a deep gash into her body. she gasped out in pain, holding her abdomen with her free hand as she wobbled.

another forcefield was spread around them, blocking off the rest of the avengers from them. it was only y/n and nightsiege in the area now. it was up to her to kill him and his plans.

peter banged on the forcefield, pounding his fists while screaming y/n’s name. “mr. stark! we have to get this down! please, y/n!”

“kid, calm down,” he tries to ease the boy in front of him, but also battling his own worries. peters were unmatched. his eyes were glued on his girlfriends injured figure, in agony as she continued to move this guy further into the ground. peter tried to break down the barrier, but it was impossible.

y/n glanced at peter again, and maybe for the last time. she took a shaky breath, smashing more power into him to keep him down. the eye contact with peter was excruciating. she barely wanted to look at him, wanting to just fall into his arms and run away with him. however, just like she knew, there was no turning back.

she formed restraints around nightsieges wrists, tying them to the ground as she stepped over him. a circular weapon with sharp, serrated edges as she moved herself closer to him.

“you’ll nev-never be… a hero,” his raspy voice comes out, leaving a sour taste in y/n’s mouth. she tries to ignore the burning pain throughout her body before she retorts back at him.

“rot,” she says. “in hell,” with severe grit in her voice, she lands the weapon into his chest, robbing his lungs of oxygen and watching his frail body gasp for air. she watched his eyes unfocus, and the sinfulness in his eyes turns to death.

as the barrier disintegrates around her, peter is sprinting toward her. her eyes are staying on the dead body of the man who destroyed her, before they slowly adjust to peter.

“hey!” he says, softly. “y/n, we have to get you help!”

“peter,” she whines, letting herself fall into him as the rest of the avengers move to catch her. peter has her, though, and he doesn’t ever want to let go. “i have to end this.”

“you did, baby,” his hand lands on the side of her face. “it’s over.” she shakes her head no, limping over to the screen and the controls in front of her. with the clicks of a few buttons and the blur in her eyes, every last file is wiped from existence. she can finally say it’s over, and she can believe it at last. before she knows it, her body can’t withstand the pressure of her injuries, letting herself fall to the floor of the building.

next time she is awake, the bright lights of the recovery unit of the compound make her squint. no amount of lights could conceal the beautiful face in front of her, gripping her hand as peter looks like be might doze off himself. she looks around at her body on the bed, covered in thick bandages and wires.

“pete?” she asks, vulnerably.

“yeah, i’m here, you’re ok,” he tells her, sweet as ever in her mind. she smiles at him lightly, his hand brushing the sides of her hair. “you did it, y/n/n.”

“it’s done, peter.”

“mhm, all because of you. you saved more people than i can think of. you’ve always been a hero, y/n. you’re so much more than that too.”

she tries to lean up, wiping the tears off her face to give him a kiss. he realizes her attempt, then standing up to land a soft kiss on her lips. “i love you, peter.”

peter blinks, his heart moving a million miles an hour. they’ve been dating for a while, but somehow this one feels different. watching her inch closer to her deathbed made the three words meaningful than he thought they could get. he loved her too, more than anything in the world. “i love you too,” he replies, almost embarrassingly fast. his hand covers his mouth, causing giggles to leave y/n’s mouth.

“c’mon! she just got out of surgery and they’re making out in the recovery wing!” tony complains, making natasha shake her head with a grin.

“leave them be, tony,” she laughs. “she’s finally free, let him kiss the girl.”

“fine, but,” tony presses the loudspeaker button, his voice coming through the room. “i have my eye on you fools!”

[aeferkssr]

𝐠𝐨𝐥𝐝𝐞𝐧 𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐫 ‧₊˚ ✩

i was all alone with the love of my life. she's got glitter for skin my radiant beam in the night. i don't need no light to see you. shine, it's your golden hour

credits: strucktrue on twt. established relationship. modern au. 0.5k wrds

masterlist.

multiple streetlights flash by his car as you two drive to gods know where, your hands entertwined as you sing along to the music on the radio. you felt that you two were the only people in the world: just two lovers, together.

the sky was divine, mixed hues of pink anmd orange danced around the car in an enchanting waltz. although the sun was setting, you had all of the light you needed since the driver, aether, was the sun himself.

radient, carefree, dreamy - only a few of the words you could use to describe him. you gaze at his side profile as he sings the song, playing through the speakers of his car, his eyes focus on the road as his mouth curves to form an absolutely enchanting smile.

"you're staring" he comments as you giggle to yourself, expression never changing.

"yeah.."

aether's smile gets impossibly wider as he squeezes your hand, brings it to his lips, and graces it with a kiss. you focus back onto the road as aether rubs your hand with his thumb, it was your turn for your smile to become wider.

the car stops at the foot of a small hill, exiting the vehicle you two reunite hands.

"is this where you wanted to take me?" you comment, soaking up the scenery around you.

the hill was more like a cliff, as it hung over a large river that lay below it. on the hill itself grew luscious, green blades of grass and cecelias grew out opf the soil, the latter being a local specialty. you look back to aether to see him smiling back at you, his eyes held so much adoration and love, and it was all directed at you.

"what? you in love or somethin'?" you tease.

"yeah.." he says, probably mocking you from earlier.

he then squeezes your hand and drags you up the hill, running to the top of the hill. as the both of you laugh like kids on a sugar rush, you're brought back to your youth.

aether pulling you across the playground to try and get to the set of swings first, and you barely keep up with him. moments where he looks after you, takes care of you, and loves you unconditionally, flash throughout your mind but a certain memory sticks. the pair of you on the very same swing set from an earlier memory, the moment where you realised how angelic he was.

you remember wanting oh so badly to declare your love for him then and there, were you scared? or were you just too stunned from his beauty?

you come back to your present, the both of yopu sat on a conveniently placed log. convenient, in the sense that it gave you front row seats to the golden sunset that was in front of you.

"this is why i wanted to take you here," aether says as he gets closer to you, wrapping his arm around your waist. you lean into his touch and take a deep breath, he smelt so warm. a perfect scent, and the perfect person, to go with the perfect scenery.

© aeferkssr

[levoneh]

books books

in 2021 i found reading again thru lots of romance novels

and in 2022 i would say i returned to eating a more hearty balanced diet 

here’s my most favorite to talk about

semiosis by sue burke - {SFF} generational tale of exodus ship settlers on hostile alien planet and their relationship with the sentient plant life there. oooh baby. this was the first really juicy book i read this year, and the first sci-fi i had really loved in a while. i kept thinking i knew what this book was going to be about, and then it kept pulling out the rug from under me in really satisfying ways. ended up being thematically related to a lot of other SFF i read thru the rest of the year in an exciting, brain-using way.

culture war lords by tal lavin - {non-fiction} i think part of this was so resonant bc of how i listened to it as an audiobook (in snatches while watching my nanny kids play on the playground, or while heaving their stroller up hill through the streets of jerusalem.) i wanted to talk about it with my mom, but i don’t want my mom to hear the awful things in this book.

the just city by jo walton - {SFF} athena takes nerds through time and kidnapped children to build plato’s just city. okay, so this was *~*THE YEAR OF JO*~* i first read jo walton’s books the previous year, and then became obsessed by her and am on a quest to read everything she’s written. another book i didn’t expect, very thematically connected to semiosis. what if our children don’t want what we build for them?  what if we were wrong? what will we they do with it after they decide that?

the bright ages by david m. perry + matthew gabriele - a really delightful,expansive, different kind of history book about the middle ages. set me on my obsessive medieval history streak this year (see below.) i listened to as an audiobook, but i’ll just have to reread in print to really absorb it

under the rainbow by celia laskey - {contemp fiction} members of gay rights advocacy group and their families settles in ‘the most homophobic small town in america.’ okay, i’m putting this on the list, bc i loved the premise, and there was something there!! critiques of liberal HRC gays, explorations of the relationships of children of queer parents with queerness, dark comedy potential galore. but i just felt like laskey kept pulling punches, kept going for the easy stereotype or cliché. i kept wanted it to be something it wasn’t, but i want someone else to read it so we can talk about how it could be better

 matrix by lauren groff - {historical fic} bastard daughter of the king is given a nepotism appointment as the abbess of a failing convent as an awkward teen. this falls in my absolute fave category of book, where there’s no plot but just an interesting character in interesting circumstances. deliciously meandering. tough, brilliant, prickly protagonist. 

agatha of little neon by claire luchette - {contemp fic} a nun finds herself questioning her life when she and her sisters are relocated and take up a new vocation at a halfway house. i read these two nun books close together, which was an interesting compare and contrast. this is such like a delicate book, like a crumbly, brown fall leaf. meditative, gentle and harsh all at once. really lovely. 

eat your heart out by kelly devos - {YA/horror} zombies come to fat camp.  i don’t really read YA anymore, but i’m glad i read this. not to be corny or on the nose but it was a YA book with bite. fun, sharp, by turns sweet and sincere when it needed to be, i spent a flight with this book and it was perfect. 

the space between worlds by micaiah johnson - {SFF} in a world where tech exists to enter parallel universes - if you’ve already died in them - a woman makes a career out of it because she’s died in so many of them. WOW. really gorgeous SFF in the tradition of social commentary without resorting to cheap allegory, but in a full, fascinating world. twists and excitement, heart-racing suspense. johnson is a star. 

we are watching eliza bright by a.e. osworth - {contemp fic.} female game programmer becomes the target of a gamergate-style mob. what a weird, cool book. lyrical, with interesting,unsual narrative choices and scary, i don’t think everyone would love this book, but i did. 

a river of stars by vanessa hua - {contemp fic} two chinese women flee a secretive maternity home in california and have to eke out a life for themselves and their children together. loved this for a lot of the same reasons i loved matrix, women learning to live with and for each other, no plot just people living through their circumstances, tough, brilliant protagonist. the book starts, if not fantastically, then certainly with a lot of energy and sensational events, and then settles into a grim, gripping fight for survival, but imo never enters the depressing or nihilistic. 

the monsters of templeton by lauren groff - {magical realism} a woman returns to her hometown and then the town sea monster dies and is found floating in the lake. i read this book while a only a small drive away from the town the town in this book is based off of, which was fun for me. because it really is a love letter to weird, small towns, and this weird small town in particular (cooperstown, ny) where groff grew up. it’s not an uncomplicated love letter either, there’s plenty to criticize. it was a dreamy, hold onto you kind of book. 

essential labor: mothering as social change - {non-fiction} i appropriately read the in snatches here and there during naptime in daycare. lots of juicy ideas in here, and i think it’s one of those things which everyone should probably read. another one to re-read so i can absorb it better. 

patricia wants to cuddle by samantha allen - {horror} contestants of a bachelor-type dating show get hunted by lesbian big foot. AHHH this was the most frustrasting book of the year. from the cover, to the plot summary, i wanted to read this book so bad i bought it in hardcover. the first half, which is mostly a satire of the bachelor is amazing, and i just couldn’t wait for patricia to show up. and then it all ends in a terrible rush. i remember so much the feeling of enjoying the book, and then thinking “i don’t know how this will get wrapped up satisfactorily in the amount of book she’s got left.” and she doesn’t, unforch. so close. i’m excited to read allen’s second book though. 

 doomsday book by connie willis - {SFF} due to academic red tape, a small scale pandemic, and the christmas season a graduate student is trapped in the black plague and her mentor desperate to bring her back. i just loved this book. i loved the vision of a future world of cozy, bumbling academic time travel interrupted by tragedy, i loved the technology (a tape recorder triggered by pressing the hands together so the time traveller can record her observations while seeming to pray.) i loved the catharsis and tragedy around sickness and confusion, and the way ultimately the villain of this book is pride, petty bureaucracy and a failure to care for people. so much love, noble sacrifice and care is in this book, so much friendship and charity in ways that feel special and uncheap and untrite. also somehow, for a lot of it, sort of a romp! 

the interior life by katherine blake - {SFF} sue, a homemaker is unhappy with her life. she begins imagining an elaborate fantasy world and is inspired by the heorines of that world to make small, but profound changes in her own.  what a weird book! that i’m totally obsessed with! this book changed my brain in ways i can’t fully explain. this book is half generic but good high fantasy epic, and half watching sue join the PTA, paint her kitchen, budget for classical music records, make female friends, reinvest in her marriage. the fantasy is good, but sue’s story is un-put-downable and this book was not what you are expecting it to be. the way this book talks about women and their lives is so unusual in SFF that it’s unbelievable (but not yk) that i’ve barely heard of this book. it’s hard to explain what’s so great about this book without waggling my hands around and sighing a lot but this is a really special one. 

the daughter of time by josephine tey - {mystery} a scotland yard detective laid up in a hospital bed solves the mystery of the princes in the tower. the character in another book i read read this book and then i found it on the free shelf! a funny little mystery with a classic rude detective. i don’t know if the historical research done in this book is true, but it really made me consider richard iii in a different light. so there’s that!

lent: a novel of many returns by jo walton - {historical/SFF} renaissance-era monk is not what he thinks he is, tries again and again and again.  okay, of all the groundhog days that are so popular right now, this is a groundhog day really worth your time. historically rich and fascinating, sad, funny. what a blast!

tam lin by pamela dean - {SFF lite} janet goes to small liberal arts college in the 70s, makes friends, learns about herself, reads a lot, enrolls in classes and meets some hot, weird boys. the title kind of gives away the game here, but it really takes its time getting there. lots of talk of books and homework and class schedule and campus geography and roommate politics which feels atmospheric and fun and yk academic aesthetic in a way you all would probably like. the fantasy really lays dormant a lot of the book, but i didn’t mind. dean captures being 18 and on your own for the first time so brilliantly that even if you’re not a fantasy reader and were just a kind of pretentious college kid i think you’ll love it. 

mystics, mavericks and merrymakers by stephanie wellen levine - {non-fiction} a sociological character study of some teenage girls in the lubavitch community in crown heights. i spent last shabbes reading the profiles aloud to my spouse on the couch and it was absolutely riveting. i’ve worked and socialized a lot alongside the chabad community, and so i felt like i really recognized some of the girls. at turns heartbreaking, hilarious, tender, tragic, adorable. if you (still) follow me, you’ll probably love this book. 

[ronaldanthony4]

I just finished another digital artwork—this time, it’s fan art of one of my favourite childhood characters. As I stared at my screen, marvelling at the vibrant hues and intricate details, I couldn’t help but feel proud of how far I’d come as an artist. Today’s creation is Riff, the cheerful, music-loving dinosaur from "Barney & Friends." I spent hours perfecting the shading and textures to bring Riff to life in my unique style. The nostalgia of revisiting a beloved character from my past made the process even more enjoyable.

For anyone unfamiliar, Riff is a six-year-old orange hadrosaur. He’s one of the newer additions to the show, the first dinosaur introduced in over thirteen years—a fascinating fact. The creators must have known they were taking a risk by bringing in a new face, but somehow, Riff captured hearts with his unique personality and love for all things musical. No wonder I felt inspired to bring him to life through my art. Riff's vibrant energy and infectious enthusiasm truly resonated with me, sparking a creative fire within. As I sketched and painted, I found myself smiling at the memories he brought back and the new adventures he inspired.

In my artwork, I wanted to celebrate Riff’s infectious energy and vibrant personality. I depicted him in his natural element—a sunny playground where he could dance and play to his heart’s content. His orange skin glows warmly against the bright, cheerful background, while his yellow tummy adds an extra pop of colour. I made sure to highlight the green spots that dot his body, contrasting beautifully with the green spikes along his back and head. One of my favourite parts of drawing him was his crest, which I rendered with extra care. It’s not just any crest—it’s the magical part of Riff that lights up with a green glow whenever he’s making music. I imagined how those lights might look if they were captured mid-blink, adding a sense of rhythm and motion to the piece.

I also paid close attention to his outfit. Riff is known for his green sneakers, which I detailed down to the yellow socks peeking out and the purple laces tying everything together. His shoes seemed so quintessentially “Riff”—practical yet playful, perfect for someone wlways ready to jump, dance, or run around. I imagined the texture of the sneakers, the slight scuff marks from all his adventures, and the way they’d grip the grass as he skipped through the park. It was all about capturing those little details that made him feel alive.

Riff’s debut in "Barney & Friends" was in the home video "Let’s Make Music." I still remember the excitement of watching it for the first time as a child. Seeing this small, orange dinosaur with an endless love for music was like meeting a kindred spirit. He wasn’t like the other dinosaurs—Barney, Baby Bop, and BJ—all of whom were tall and imposing in their ways. Riff, on the other hand, was shorter, almost closer to my size as a kid, which made him feel approachable. His energy was contagious, and his personality brimmed with creativity.

When he was formally introduced in the episode “Welcome, Cousin Riff,” it was clear that he wasn’t just another character; he brought something new to the table. Riff was Baby Bop and BJ’s cousin, and though they shared a familial bond, his individuality shone through. Where Baby Bop was sweet and slightly timid, and BJ was bold and adventurous, Riff had his quirky charm. His love for music wasn’t just a hobby; it was a way of seeing the world. His theme song, “I Hear Music Everywhere,” encapsulated this perfectly. Riff didn’t just enjoy music—he lived it. To him, the clinking of spoons, the rustling of leaves, or even the rhythmic squeak of a swing set could be a symphony waiting to be discovered.

In my artwork, I wanted to capture that essence of Riff—the joy he radiates when he’s immersed in his world of sound. I gave him a wide, happy grin, his eyes twinkling with excitement. He’s holding maracas in both hands, the colourful instruments adding to the vibrant palette of the scene. I imagined the music he might be creating—perhaps a playful, tropical tune that would make anyone nearby want to join in. The maracas were such a fun detail to include, as they reflected his ability to turn anything into a musical adventure.

One of the things I’ve always admired about Riff is his inventiveness. He’s not just a music enthusiast; he’s a tinkerer, always looking for ways to create something new. In one episode, he built a unique music-making contraption out of everyday items, showcasing his ability to see potential in things others might overlook. This aspect of his character inspired me as a child, encouraging me to think outside the box and find creativity in unexpected places. I like to think that this spirit of invention is part of what led me to become an artist.

Despite his creativity and enthusiasm, Riff isn’t without his flaws. He’s a shy dinosaur at heart, often doubting himself and needing encouragement from his friends. I find this vulnerability endearing—it makes him relatable. We’ve all had moments of self-doubt, times when we’ve needed a little push to believe in ourselves. Riff’s journey of overcoming these feelings is a reminder that even the most talented individuals sometimes need support. It also serves as a powerful message that it's okay to have doubts, as long as you keep pushing forward and believing in yourself.

Working on this piece also gave me a chance to reflect on the role Riff has played in the "Barney & Friends" franchise. He’s not just a side character; he’s an integral part of the group. Barney, Baby Bop, and BJ have always represented different aspects of childhood—imagination, curiosity, and courage—but Riff adds another layer to the mix. He represents creativity in its purest form, the kind that comes from seeing the world through a musical lens. His presence reminds us that art, in all its forms, is an essential part of life.

As I added the finishing touches to my artwork, I felt a deep sense of gratitude for the character of Riff. He’s more than just a dinosaur; he’s a symbol of the joy and wonder that music can bring. Through his adventures, he teaches children—and even adults—that creativity is limitless and that there’s music in everything if we only take the time to listen. It’s a message that has stuck with me throughout my life, influencing not only my art but also the way I approach the world.

Looking at the completed piece, I couldn’t help but smile. The bright colours, the dynamic pose, the little details that brought Riff to life—it all came together in a way that felt true to his character. I imagined him stepping out of the artwork, maracas in hand, ready to lead a parade of joyful children through the playground. It was a scene that perfectly captured his essence: a small dinosaur with a big heart and an even bigger love for music. Seeing how much this little orange dinosaur meant to so many people was heartwarming.

In a way, creating this fan art felt like a tribute not just to Riff, but to the countless childhoods he brightened with his cheerful presence. In conclusion, creating this artwork of Riff was more than just an artistic endeavour—it was a journey back to the innocence and joy of childhood. Riff may be a fictional character, but his impact is real, reminding us all to find the music in our lives and to never stop creating. As I move on to my next project, I’ll carry his spirit with me, letting it inspire me to see the world with fresh eyes and an open heart.