#im unwell im unprepared for the angst that's about to happen :')

[4lexnilsen]

“i always miss you,”   alex confesses quietly,  as if raising his voice beyond a whisper could ruin the moment.   his heart feels so raw,  the old wounds opening up and bleeding once more,  every time he thinks about how they have less than a week.   there’s a reason why most people don’t know what moment will be their last.   sometimes ignorance is a blessing.   “whenever we have to say goodbye and go back home,  it feels like i’m losing a piece of myself.   the other half of my own heart.   and i count the days ‘til i get to see you again.”   and he’d felt guilty in the past,  looking forward to the hunger games,  just because it meant reuniting with her.   “it will sound crazy,  but i’m happy to be here with you,  baby.”   she’s so much more than just a silly little farm girl or a pretty songbird to him.   she’s his world. 

“oh,  does she now?   seems like she’s starting to like me.”   a sweet,  genuine smile blooms on alex’s lips.   he’s heard so many stories about mama kitty and knows just how important she is to abi —   and whoever’s important to abi is automatically also important to him.   it means a lot to know that the cat’s accepted him as part of the family,  even if they’ve never met.   maybe she can sense just how much he loves abilene and that’s why she’s warmed up to him.   “i’ll give you another one so you,  ladies,  don’t have to fight over them.”   he says it as casually as possible,  trying not to think about how he’ll leave more than two jackets for her to take home and turn into a memory box.   “i wish you could have brought her with you,  but i see why they don’t want her at the capitol.   she’d steal the show from all of us.”   probably by trying to claw president snow’s eyes out.   “this reminds me…   i’d been telling my little brother all about you,  and he’s kind of like mama kitty in a way.   right before he goes to bed,  he’s always asking what do you think abi’s doing right now?   and what flowers are abi’s favorite?   he keeps drawing pictures for you.   if he weren’t five,  i’d be worried he’s got a crush on my girl.”   he would have brought some of the charcoal drawings here,  but this year there were no goodbyes.   the tributes were whisked off the stage and into the train car.   and maybe it’s for the better,  alex thinks,  less sentimental and painful.

“sounds like we’ve got ourselves a deal.”   he’s still breathless from the kisses,  his lips tingling and heart pounding in the back of his throat,  but it doesn’t stop him from letting out a chuckle.   there’s something so incredibly attractive and intimate about sharing clothes with a loved one that agrees —   the nighties can wait for tomorrow.   she’ll look so cute in his shirt.   “a garter?   it’s not even my birthday and i’m being spoiled.   are we sure this isn’t our honeymoon?”   he muses,  smiling against her lips out of sheer happiness.   during the day,  they have to be who the people of capitol expect them to be,  but at night…   they get to be themselves.   and he’s extremely grateful for it.   “that’s a good plan.   give me two minutes and i’ll be there.”   he’s reluctant to let her go,  but does so anyway because he can only imagine how uncomfortable her costume is.   “love you.   and hey,  i was just joking about the water temperature.   make it as hot as you want.   i don’t mind.”   and before she can go,  it’s once again his turn to draw her close and steal one more chaste kiss from her lips.

everything in the capitol was to excess . when she had first been in the tribute center , she recalled thinking how b i g everything was and how little she felt . that feeling never went away , though after enough time she learned most of the gadgets that she had been too afraid too touch and break . . . the people of the capitol always loved when the little farm girl gushed about their technology .

❛ i missed you , too . ❜ abilene admitted with a smile , her hand squeezing alex's tightly as they left the elevator . a part of her expected some kind of alarm to go off and the floor to be flooded with peacekeepers to bring her back to the tenth floor . tributes weren't exactly supposed to be alone with one another , she thought , although perhaps they were looking the other way for now as long as no one got hurt ?

❛ mama kitty loves to sleep on that jacket you left with me last games . . . we fight over it . ❜ she giggled , although the statement was true . more than once she had to push the stubborn cat off to wrap it around her own shoulders , and more than once she had fallen asleep with it and found the cat curled up on the sleeve . abilene squeezed alex's hand . with another giggle , abilene thought back to how angry the cat had been when abilene had been called back to the capitol to entertain and took the jacket with her . ❛ she gets real mad when i bring it with me here , sometimes she won't even look at me when i get back home . ❜

hazel eyes curiously looked about the penthouse , though it looked much of the same as district ten's floor . then again , it was hard to tell the difference between all of the glitter and jewels . abilene spent most of her time in her quarters anyways , it was the only place she could lock the door . she only glanced around briefly before alex led her into his quarters and the door shut behind them .

before she could speak again , his hands were on her face and his lips were on hers . her heart skipped and abilene imagined it like a foal out to pasture for the first time wobbly and surprised until eventually it took off and her pulse was pounding in her ears . her lips moved in sync with his and all that she could smell and taste and touch was him . every cell was buzzing and her hands trailed up his arms until her arms could wrap around his shoulders .

alex pulled away too soon , and her lips were chasing his . her eyes opened and her gaze met his own . ❛ you do . ❜ she agreed and was unable to help herself before kissing him again . her arms brought their bodies flush against one another and a heat blossomed over her skin and in her belly . ❛ i'll save my nighties for tomorrow . ❜ another kiss and a grin on her lips . ❛ maybe even give you a nice garter . ❜

then , she was laughing . her cheeks were beginning to ache and her dimples were on full display before she stole one final , quick kiss and pulled away . ❛ i can't stand wearing this a moment longer . how about i'll go warm up the shower and once you find a nice shirt you can join me ? ❜