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cornfarm · 3 years ago

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summertime cicadas

saiki kusuo x reader

word count: 1.6k

synopsis: you go to saiki’s place to play some video games. saiki learns a bit about your dirty laundry.

cw: suggestions of past sexual abuse. it’s not explicitly stated but it’s heavily implied.

genre: fluff, hurt/comfort

reader is gender neutral!

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notes:

i’ve had this sitting in my drafts for a few weeks now, but i was never happy with it.

it’s implied that you and saiki are in week 2-4 of dating;;;

i have some other stuff in the works but im tired so notes r boring today

enjoy waaaaaa

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When Saiki and you were left alone together, the tension that hung in the air was fun and playful. Coy glances, the heart jittering brushes of skin, and the almost knowing smiles you two would shoot each other. This time around, it was heavy, and it weighed hefty on both your shoulders.

It was your first time over at his place since you had begun dating.

You had texted him: can i come over? i bought a new game i wanna play it with u

He was very happy you decided to make the first move, he didn’t want to make you feel uncomfortable.

Immediately, the “devlivered” at the corner of your text changed to “read”. He hastily typed back: Sure, let me know when you’re here. My parents aren’t home.

You saw letters on your screen, but you squinted your eyes shut upon them entering your field of vision. You had thrown your phone across the room, too nervous to look at his response. Tentatively picking it up, your heart nearly exploded at his words. You quickly respond: okay! be there soon :)

Saiki suddenly felt a bit on edge, realization finally striking him that you were about to be in his presence. In his bedroom. Alone.

Saiki Kusuo never really felt things too intensely, so to feel it strike at his heart and stomach was almost a bit too much for his liking.

Saiki wound up sitting patiently at the dining room table, using his telekensis to pick things up, rearrange ornaments and fine china, and clean up trash. The last thing he wants is you coming over when the place is a mess.

The doorbell rang, not that he needed it to know you were here. Beckoning you in, you pull out a small disc box from your bag.

“I heard really good reviews from it. I was interested in it since I liked the art style but I wanted to wait until people played it and reviews came out before I committed.”

He takes it from your hands to inspect it, “I’m not super interested in recent games, I like older ones a bit more. Indie ones too. I’ve heard that the gameplay is really compelling.”

“That’s okay, we can still play together, right?” You almost look a bit nervous. Saiki gnawed at the inside of his lip.

“Sure,” you don’t look satisfied, “I don’t mind, doing things with you is nice.”

The content expression on your face satisfies him. You follow him upstairs.

Then the tension settles. You’re so close, the pleasant floral scent from your detergent lingering where you walk. He peers behind you as you take in his room: simple, clean, minimalistic. It’s painfully in character. You smile, flopping face down on his bed.

“I’ve only ever been here with everyone else, it was so lively then, but it’s so different when it’s quiet!” You situate yourself so you’re sitting at the edge of his bed, legs dangling off the side.

“It’s the same room.”

“Yeah but, now it’s just me and you.”

“I suppose so.”

You watch as he peers to the wall, a bit away from you.

“What, you’re not nervous are you? Do I make you, THE Saiki Kusuo nervous?”

He clicks his tongue, and begins stalking towards you. He stops right in front of you, shins nearly touching the mattress of his bed. He looks down, expression deadpanned like usual. Perhaps thats precisely why you got so flustered. Your hands coming to clasp politely in your lap, you look up at him, determined to hold eye contact.

“Mhm,” he smirks, “you do. What will you do about it?”

He watches as your lips part into a small ‘o’, before you turn your head down and begin to pout. He’ll spare you this time. The small proximity between you settles in; he should get out of here, nervousness is finally catching up, it’s a bit too much for him to handle. For such a cocky one-liner, he really can’t keep it together. He exits his room for a moment with a brief “wait here”.

He hears you let out a sigh down the hall. Taking the chance to inspect his belongings, you peer under his bed, nothing suspicious there, before making your way to his desk. There’s his computer, a nice leather desk chair, a lamp, and a small empty mug that holds pens, pencils, and highlighters. You thumb through them.

He re-enters his room, quietly opening the door, but just enough so where you hear. Outstreching his arm, he hands you a bottle of iced tea.

“This is,” inspecting the label, “you don’t usually drink these, right?”

Saiki stays quiet.

“So you got it for me? You remembered I liked it?”

He nods.

You beam at him, mutter your gratitude, and pull out the games box.

Placing the disc onto the disc reader, and pushing it in, you start up the game, and watch the intro animation.

“Yeah, the graphics are really nice,” he comments.

You adjust yourself, sitting on top a cushion on the floor, he moves a bit closer.

Skipping though dialog, tutorials, and the first few levels of the game, Saiki controller finally begins responding.

“I’m sorry, I thought the multiplayer feature would be available from the start.”

“It’s okay, you can pick first”

“Hmm...” you pause, brows furrowing in focus as you look through the different player avatar options. Finally, you turn to him and smile, “this one! Your turn.”

Saiki bites at the inside of his lip, again, moving his thumb over the joystick, he picks his avatar.

It’s nice, it’s quiet, the sound of cicada’s chirping outside his bedroom window, and the soft hum of his fan are gentle. Neither of you are talking about grand things like aspirations and inhibitions, but you didn’t have to. The soft, casual tone of conversation is something Saiki’s making sure to cherish. The game’s fun, Saiki is enjoying himself, he enjoys you.

But tension still looms heavy overhead. You aren’t the only one who was thinking about it, how close you two were, how your elbows kept bumping, the small,and the way you both tried to get just a millimeter closer.

Saiki knew what you wanted, but he couldn’t pull himself to take initiative. Why? Was nervousness just another curse set out to plague him?

He’s reading your mind, he knows without a doubt you want to, so why is he so nervous to reach out and touch you? He wants to run away.

“Saiki?”

Your voice broke his thoughts, he turns to you. “Are you okay?”

He does it without thinking, slowly placing the controller down and putting his palms on your shoulders.

“I’m just not used to this,” he finally says, “like, dating and all that.”

You wrap your fingers around his wrists, “that’s okay, I’ve never dated anyone either, we can just take it slow. We have time.” You reassure, “I’m nervous too,” voice smaller than before. He lifts his hands off, hovering them in front of you, debating on where he should put them. Should he put them back on your shoulders, or would that be weird? Maybe it’s okay if he takes your hands into his, but right now your hands are...

His vision finally focuses, and he looks at your hands, defensively positioned in front of your chest with your palms facing him. You’re looking at him with a half smile, but your brows are pursed down. You’re watching him very carefully.

Your thoughts still, pausing until he moves again, taking your hands in his own. He’s confused, why do you look so skittish?

You look visibily confused that he takes your hands. He’s granted one thought:

He’s not gonna do anything, see? He’s just holding my hands, that’s it. He’s not gonna do anything.

Do what? What do you mean? Do what?

“What do you mean?” He blurts out, voice ringing through your head.

Astonishment paints your face. Shit, you didn’t think you said anything out loud. Could he read your mind? He chooses not to say anything.

You shake your arms, he retracts his hands.

“I’ve just had bad experiences with people in the past, I got nervous, that’s all. I’m sorry.”

Oh. Your internal dialog isn’t as pleasant as the words you choose to say.

“Maybe I’ll tell you about it more in the future,” you still have the strength to smile at him?

He reaches out to touch you again, but never connecting. He hesitates this time, fingers hovering over your forearm.

“I’m not really interested in that sort of stuff. I wouldn’t do that to you. I won’t do that to you,” he corrects.

With a smile pained with melancholy, you shift yourself forward, wrapping your arms around his torso, burying your face into his shoulder, legs finding their way between his. He wastes no time wrapping his own arms around your back, pressing your chest closer to his own. Your hearts pound against each other, breathing syncing as you both exhale a sigh.

“I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“I know,” your voice is muffled.

You stay like that for a few moments. Cicada’s chirping, fan blowing, there’s nothing to say- the silence is comforting in it’s own way.

You finally pull away from him, voice much brighter, “but I’m not ready to kiss you yet, I think my heart would explode!” He flushes red. Adjusting to sit back onto the cushion, you lean your weight onto his side. He tension has finally settled, and Saiki sighs contently.

Saiki only uses his powers in ways to convinience himself. Fortunately, keeping you safe was more than convinient to him: it was the bare minimum- an absolute necessity.

As soon as you leave, he’ll find the bastards that did it.

#the disaster of psi kusuo saiki #the disasterous life of saiki k #saiki k #saiki kusuo #saiki kusuo x reader #saiki k imagines #saiki k headcanons #saiki x reader

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cvtqr · 4 years ago

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hm, boring

parings; jean kirstein x reader x marco

content warning; relationship with sharing, hair pulling, face fucking, degradation, spanking, squirting, horse cock marco, + someone additional listening in

“jeannn~ ‘m tired. come cuddle with me pleaseee~”

“EREN WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WE’RE ON THE SAME SQUAD!?”

there he goes, ignoring you. nothing new though. every single night jean would be on his god damn game with his friends. night time was the only time you two could spend together because of your jobs getting in the way. he doesn't even like eren yet he choose playing with him over paying attention to you? tch, what a joke.

that's when the idea popped in your head. you reached over to the nightstand, grabbed your phone, and opened your messages.

hey bodt! come over and hang with me n jean, haven't seen you in awhile :)

y/nnn!!! i was actually just doin some work at the cafe by your apartment! guess i’ve been overworking myself that i haven't had the time to come hangout with my best friends :(( but since it’s friday i guess ill drop by ≧◡≦

yeah it’s not good to overwork yourself! we’ve missed you, see you soon !

yup ;)

:)***** sorry y/n clicked the wrong button (・_・ヾ

its fine haha, see ya bodt!

you giggled to yourself. yeah, he was your and your boyfriends best friend, but he really was adorable. such a gentleman.

well that's when he isn't drilling into your tight little cunt while jean jacks off to the sight...

“who were you texting now that you’re all giggly?”

“just inviting someone over!”

“who.”

that came out not so much like a question

“marco! we haven't seen him in awhile.” you said while walking up behind jean in his chair.

he spun around in his chair and looked up at you, patting his lap. of course you weren't going to refusing sitting in his arms, so you snuggled into his lap.

“simp. hi y/n” you faintly heard from jean’s headset

“SHUT UP YEAGER YOU CANT EVEN GET A GIRLFRIEND”

you took his headset, since they were just in the lobby of a game, and put it over your head.

“hiiii eren.”

“give me that you little shit.”

you lightly slapped him on his cheek and got up to sit back on your bed, hearing him chuckle.

little did you know you were going to regret thet later

it wasn't long before you heard marco knock on the front door.

you ran out of the bedroom and unlocked the door for him, greeting him with a warm hug.

“ok so i kind of lied. i just wanted you to come over. but that's only because jeans ignoring me!”

before giving him a chance to respond you took his arm and dragged him to the bedroom.

“hey hey jean!”

“hey bodt - EREN STOP IT YOU FUCKING BASTARD.”

you rolled your eyes and plopped down onto your bed, marco following behind you. you knew that jean has an agreement to share you from time to time, so you cuddled up into his strong arms, resting your head on his broad chest.

he smiled and squeezed you tight. but when jean saw you two from the reflection, he was mad. he knew that he shouldn't have a reason to be mad though, he was the one rejecting giving you the much needed attention. he didn't know if it was because marco was the reason you were smiling right now, or the fact that his hand was roaming a little too far up your thigh.

but what jean didn't know was that marcos been... well, sexually frustrated. like he said before, he been burying himself way too deep into work. being a CEO was a lot of work, even for someone as bright as marco. he used to go at it a little too frequently, but now he never even has the chance to jack off.

so what was his real reason for coming here.

“eren are you there? eren? erennn”

not bothering to shut anything off he put his head set down on his desk and walked over to you and marco.

“you guys hungry?”

you slowly opened your eyes, looking over to jean.

you and marco both nodded your heads.

15 minutes later the three of you were gathered in the living room, you and jean sitting on either side of marco.

everyone was laughing while jean teased you as always. but when you went to go playfully smack his head? the cup of ice cold water in your hand tipped over and spilt all over marco’s jeans.

“ ‘m so sorry hold on!!”

you ran up and into the kitchen grabbing a hand towel. you came back to the couch, sitting back in your spot, taking the towel, dabbing it all over the stain on marco’s pants. you didn't know why he was blushing to an extent though.

“its, its fine y/n! its just water it’ll dry”

you removed the towel to reveal a huge bulge in his pants. so that's why he was so embarrassed.

“im sorry, im sorry! ive just been really frustrated lately and-”

“just help him, y/n.”

marco let out a relived sigh when you got onto your knees in front of him. you slowly brought your hand up to his zipper and pulled it down. he then helped you pull of his pants and boxers just for his erection to spring up and hit into his stomach.

he never failed to impress you, he was defiantly bigger than jean. long and girthy with a few veins running down the shaft, pre-cum dribbling out of the tip.

without saying a word, you took his cock into your hands slowly stroking him, using his pre-cum as lube.

“p-please y/n. i want it in your mouth.”

knowing how mean and dominate he can get while riled up, you obeyed, enjoying the shy side of him.

you swirled your tongue around his tip before bobbling your head down, taking as much as you can. marco’s hands found his way into your hair while throwing his head back. it was taking everything to not just buck his hips up and shove his cock down your pretty little throat.

“so you’re just gonna let her run that slutty mouth up and down n not just fuck her throat? hm, boring.”

at the moment you wish jean would've just bit his tongue while marco let out a deep, long chuckle.

he then tightened his grip around your hair and forced you down further onto him before thrusting up into your throat. he was way too big for you, the tip of his cock hitting the back of your throat earning a gag from you.

“what's wrong can't take it? i really thought you were a slut... getting onto your knees for your boyfriends best friend and letting him fuck that tiny throat of yours.”

his degrading words were enough for you to slip your hands down your shorts, slowing adding friction to your clit.

jean, now fully erect got up from his spot on the couch and squatted down next to you, pulling your hand away and out of your pants, a tight grip around your wrist.

“i don't think anyone told you to touch yourself, now did they?”

without warning, marco came in your mouth, his warm cum spilling down your throat. he then pulled you off his cock, a string of saliva mixed with cum still connecting you to him. marco looked down to jean and nodded.

jean stood up, bringing you up with him and walked over to the bedroom, marco following close behind and closing the door once you all got inside.

jean pushed you down onto the bed. the two men were now hovering over you, looking down onto you. you definitely lost any sort of control over this situation.

“hmm, i think you deserve a punishment baby. i mean for slapping me before.”

“that wasn't my fault tho-”

“shut up. no one said you could talk.” he spat out

jean then sat on the bed next to you. you knew exactly what he wanted. you crawled over and laid face first across his lap, ass perking up, while marco took a seat on jean’s gaming chair facing the both of you.

“you’ll only get ten today. i hear anything fall from that mouth besides you counting, i’m leaving to go spend the night at marcos”

you shook your head yes while a harsh slap landed right across your ass.

“o-one” you said while sniffling

marco on the other hand was started to palm himself through his boxers at the sight in front of him.

“te- ten!” you basically cried out at this point. you usually get more, but jean was harsh tonight.

meanwhile, no one in the room realized the discord chat going off on jean’s computer

surprised your still on... mikasa ratted me out about something so my mom called and chewed my ear out longer than expected.

helloooo?

jean?

“my sweet girl, you were so good for me. as a reward i’ll let you have marco’s cock. you’ll let him fuck you, right baby?”

eagerly you nodded while jean switched places with marco, now sitting on the chair.

“as always im going to prep you first, i wouldn't want to hurt you. that alright?”

without having to say anything you pulled your shorts down and disregarded them onto the floor.

marco then pushed you down onto your back while slipping down your panties. you looked up into his eyes while he shoved to fingers knuckles deep into your cunt, earning a sweet soft moan from your lips.

a few minutes after using his fingers to stretch you out, you left your climax building with a familiar feeling in your stomach.

“m-marco i’m gonna~”

about to cream all over his fingers, he pulled them out and flipped you onto your stomach.

“didn’t think i’d let you off the hook that easy hm?”

“marco pleaseee, i need too, please!!” you were basically sobbing over the fact that you wanted to get fucked

“no need to be a little cry baby y/n. he’ll let you cum when he wants to.” said jean from across the room, fucking his fist

“no, no its not that... it’s just that nothing feels better than your sweet cum running down my shaft.” right when he finished his sentace he shoved his cock right into your tight cunt, completely bottoming out and thrusting into you without giving you time to adjust.

“ ‘s too big marco please!”

“sorry, couldn’t help it baby.” the sight was so lewd. marco pounding into you from behind and shoving your head down into the mattress. jean behind you two fucking his first harder than ever. the room filled with wet slapping sounds and your loud moans, along with grunting from the two boys.

“ ah~ baby you’re squeezing me so, so well.” said marco while reaching his hand down, finding your clit and rubbing harsh circles around it.

“mm need to-”

marco sent a harsh slap onto your clit, sending your whole body jerking foward, squirting all over his cock.

marco let out another chuckle at your reaction. “wow, first time anyone’s ever squirted on my cock.”

he pulled out soon after and released all over your ass, crashing down on top of you, out of breath. jean was about to come over and help the both of you clean up until everyone heard a sort of high pitched moan. you and marco knew that didn’t sound like jean and both flipped over.

you all soon realized the headset on jeans desk, the green light indicating it was still on and running. you all then caught on to what was happening on the other side.

“wow jean... didn’t know little y/n was such a slut.”

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haik-choo · 5 years ago

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request: i read your haikyuu as boyfriend headcannons and 🥺 they were so cute!! if you don’t mind can i get some hcs of your first kiss with noya and hinata 💞

a/n: yess!!!! YES!!!!! your mind...i decided to do all of the first years and add in noya because i really wanna,,,ALSO THESE ARE KIND OF LIKE SCENARIOS??? AGAGAG

@dearkozume because you wanted me to tag you in posts!!! <3

[FIRST KISSES WITH KARASUNO FIRST YEARS + NOYA]

-nishinoya, hinata, kageyama, yamaguchi, tsukishima

nishinoya yuu.

he’d kiss you when walking with you, his mind would probably already be filled with thoughts about kissing you when he realizes you’re giving signs of wanting to be kissed and he. panics

has probably been dating you for a week and keeps on thinking about how to kiss you

he doesn’t want to be pushy and kiss you when you’re not ready, but baby really wants to kiss you

but he won’t if you’re not ready!

but you’ll be walking back from practice with him, hands intertwined as he complains about tsukishima being an ass or something

and all of a sudden he notices that you aren’t responding like you usually do, not even an ‘uhuh’ or a ‘mhmm’

and he just looks over at you to see if you’re okay, and he notices that you’re literally just staring at him, seemingly not even noticing that he’s stopped talking

and he stops walking and realizes that you’re not just staring at him,,,,,,you’re staring at his lips

WHEN I TELL YOU HE ALMOST SHITS HIMSELF. HE’S BEEN PREPARING AND EVEN TOLD HIMSELF THAT IT WOULD BE LIKE A MONTH BEFORE YOU WERE READY BUT YOU’RE GIVING THE SIGNNNNSSSSS

he takes his hand from yours and grabs your shoulders and pulls you in really close, and his breath shakes when he opens his mouth; you’re a little shocked, but in a good way

“can i please kiss you?”

it’s a whisper, and his eyes are wide and his cheeks are painted red; you can even feel his fingers twitch on your shoulders, which is cute because he never gets nervous

and you just...nod

and he nods back at you, closes his eyes, and you close yours. and his lips gently press against yours in the middle of the sidewalk, it’s nighttime, and it just feels so right

he pulls away, his face a mixture of “did i just fuck up” and “OHEIHGroigerngrGUvk” and it has to be the most endearing thing you’ve ever seen. and you wanna see it again sometime soon

just not when he looks like he’s about to pass out from the nerves

“w-....was that good?” he’d nervously ask, his hands still gripping your shoulders, and you’d just nod and laugh, kissing his cheek and intertwining his fingers with yours again before starting down the street

“it was perfect, yuu. let’s do it against sometime.”

“yEAH o-OKAY” (he says as his voice cracks)

hinata shoyo.

you’d kiss him at night, in his room with no one home, it’s a chaotic kiss because he probably doesn’t see it coming, like at all, and he does something stupid before melting

you guys are used to being at one another’s house like,,,,all the time

you’ve been friends since his middle school says, and when he told you he was going to karasuno, you decided you’d go too

and now that you’re dating, it’s all basically the same. except you wanna kith him and he wanna kith you but you guys are each other’s firsts and just.awkwardness pursues

you’re at his house, but natsu is out with his mom getting groceries for dinner that night (you’re staying over for the night because it’s a friday)

and you’re waiting for hinata to be done with his shower, just finishing up the homework for the weekend so you can 1) spend time with your boyfriend and 2) so you can help him with his homework later

“y/n, have you seen the lotion anywhere?” he calls from the bathroom

“oh, yeah, give me a sec” and you get up and open the door, remembering you put it in the cabinet instead of on the counter, and you just stop,

his hair is wet and he has a towel on his shoulders, his cheeks red from the heat of his shower, his eyes raking over the counter and shelves

“i-its in the bottom cabinet” you manage, and he smiles and opens to cupboard, laughing, “why’d you put it there?”

his voice is just. perfect. it’s smooth from the steam and yet it’s still a little grainy

and you briefly wonder what it would sound like after a make out session bUT YOU STOP YOURSELF

“what’re you staring at???” he tilts his head to the side and just. doesn’t realize your heart is beating out of your goddamn chest

and you decide to just go for it

in one swift step you’re right up next to him, both hands on his cheeks to bring him down and kiss him, his eyes are wide, not really processing what’s happening, and he’s pretty shocked

so shocked, in fact, that he drops the bottle of lotion on your foot

“OW whAT THE HELKE”

“AH IM SO SORRY IM SO SORRY I DIDN’T MEAN TO --”

you sigh and hold your foot, jokingly saying “you could’ve just told me you didn’t want to kiss instead of smashing my big toe, shoyo --” but he doesn’t even let you finish before he dives in for a second kiss, lips tightly pursed together, inexperienced, but eager, hands squishing your face

and he pulls away, his large eyes staring straight at yours, breath ragged and ears glowing red

“hehe, shoyo, you’re getting your wet hair all over my face”

“sorry i just really wanted to kiss you again”

kageyama tobio.

he kisses you because he just can’t take it anymore. it’s probably out at a park after he’s done practicing, and it’s unexpected because he doesn’t know how to do anything; but he goes for it anyway because he just wants to let you feel how much he loves you

i’m surprised he even has an s/o anyway--

he texts you saying ‘hey can you come to the park with me. i was practicing with the idiot but he left because it was late and now’

‘now???’

‘i’m lonely :(’

and now here you are, sitting on a bench, laughing with kageyama as he tries to practice by himself

“kageyama! it’s already nine pm, take a break and then let’s get something to eat”

he reluctantly nods and moves to sit next to you on the bench

you smile up at him and lace your fingers with his, resting your head on his shoulder and staring at the night sky, peacefully thinking

and kageyama is sure you can hear his heart beat like a drum against his chest

he texted you because he wanted to kiss you but he didn’t know how to say that, and chickened out and just said he was lonely

kageyama knows that he’s not experienced, and that if you were in a relationship with someone like tsukishima or sugawara you’d have already kissed by now

and he’s just...so thankful that you’re so patient with him, and that you respect his boundaries

and he knows that you’ve probably been wanting to kiss him, and damnit, he wants to kiss you too

so he just tests the waters...and just kisses your temple, causing your head to shoot up in shock, because he never kisses you

and you can’t even say anything now because his beautiful steel blue eyes are staring at you so intensely that your breath is stolen from you

before you know it, he leans down and firmly presses his lips against yours

but he doesn’t pull away for a few seconds, which you don’t mind because fuCK hE”S KISSING YOU YES

but then a few more seconds go by

and then a few more

and then you finally pull away, “kageyama?” but he doesn’t respond and then you get a good look at his face and almost burst out laughing because it’s literally SO RED

his brows are furrowed together, his lips are tight, and his cheeks are so pink and he just softly mutters out, “i didn’t know how long to kiss you for and then i freaked out because i thought it was too long and i froze up please don’t break up with me i’ve never done this before--” and you cut him off with a kiss that, this time, only lasts for a few seconds

“there. is that better?”

and he can barely manage a nod with how hard and fast his heart is beating

tsukishima kei.

he’d kiss you the morning after you’ve slept over, both tired and lazily watching tv with a cup of joe in his hand and breakfast in your lap, a warm atmosphere taking over you both

it’s probably a sunday morning, and you and tsukishima are sitting on his couch with the tv playing a documentary on dinosaur fossils after you wake up from spending the night

and he had a cup of coffee in a white mug with a stegosaurus decal on it, and you have a finished plate of toast on your lap

“did you know that a stegosaurus’ brain was the size of a dog’s?” he mindlessly says, taking a sip of coffee

you hum and look up at him, taking him in with all his glory. his hair is messy and slightly curled at the end now that let it grow out a bit, his glasses were slipping from his nose and his typical piercing eyes were less so, now seeming just a little tired

but your eyes got caught on his lips, and how the coffee left them with a wet sheen

it had already been a month of dating, you had met him when you both took the same extracurricular class in college (’art before the modern ages’ it was called, all about art from the cavemen period and around there)

after suffering through the boring lectures from a rather untalented professor, he ended up asking you out to coffee one day (surprising you)

and now here you were, sitting with your sides touching, heart beating in synch

‘well. might as well kiss him’, you thought

“hey, kei, put your mug down real quick” “???okay, weirdo.”

he gently places his cup on the coffee table in front of you both, and he looks over at you expectantly “why'd you wan--” but alas, his words are cut off as you pull him down on top of you, your back hitting the cushions with a soft ‘thud’

but despite having the confidence to initiate pulling him on top of you, his honey eyes are wide and right in front of yours and you didn’t plan for them to be so mesmerizing

needless to say. it’s silent and awkward before he opens up his mouth to tease you

“so you aren’t going to kiss me?” he’d say with a smirk, before rolling his eyes and repositioning himself so his lips are hovering right over yours

“guess i’ll have to do it myself”

and he laces his fingers with yours as he kisses you passionately. the sun is filtering in, and it looks like he has a halo of light coming from behind his blonde head of hair. it’s so breathtaking that you just close your eyes and lose yourself in the feeling of him on top of you

he pulls away from you with eyes filled with love, something you’ve noticed he’s giving you a lot lately, and gives you a small, genuine smile

“god, i have to do everything around here”

“oh my gOD shut up”

yamaguchi tadashi.

he’d kiss you when you’re doing something domestic together, like making dinner together when you both are blaring music in the kitchen and you’re crushing him with the back hugs you love to give

“tadashi, the salt is in the cabinet above you head!”

“thanks, baby!”

he’s stirring the pot for the spaghetti, putting salt in the boiling water before he puts in the angel hair

and you’re finishing up the homemade sauce, deicing to let it simmer for a few minutes while you decide to go and bother tadashi

“mmmm, that smells good, baby!” you say as you go behind him, peering over his shoulder. he laughs and shakes his head, “it’s just pasta” you shrug, “still smells good.”

the domestic scene just fills your heart with so much content that you’ve just GOT to let it out

and you want to let it out on your wonderful boyfriend, tadashi

so you press your face in the back of his olive green sweater, letting your hands slowly slip over his sides and across his stomach, interlacing your fingers together before letting out a sigh of satisfaction

you almost giggle at the way his body tenses up and he twtiches in your hold

“wha-what’re you doing! you’re going to make me burn the spaghetti!”

“you can’t burn spaghetti, tadashi”

“watch me!”

“i can’t help it, you just smell like...”

“like what?” he’d ask, his face red as he finally pours in the pasta, the corners of his mouth poking upwards

“like my future husband~” CUE HIM DROPPING THE BOX IN THE WATER, BABY BOY IS SO SUPRISED

“w-WE’VE ONLY BEEN DATING FOR TWO WEEKS, I--”

“i”M KIDDING TADASHI AGAGAGAA CHILL OUT”

a few seconds pass, and his heart is still going a thousand miles per hour, you know because you can hear it thumping against your hands that are now on his chest

you start to giggle, face propping up on his shoulder

he can’t help it, and he starts to laugh too, laughing at how he gets flustered so easily when it comes to you

and after a minute of loud tear-inducing laughter, he finally just turns around and wraps his arms around your waist, his eyes staring down lovingly at you and your dazzling smile

time slows to a stop, and you both just lean in at the same time, lips connecting at the halfway point, perfectly. he’s smiling against your lips, scrunching up your shirt in his grip. :(((( this is so cute

and his heart jumps a little at the way your hands fist his shirt, and he thinks about how he could do this all night (which he will) before he separates from you with hearts in his eyes, placing his chin on the top of your head

“uh, i think you burned the spaghetti babe??? how the hell--”

“i TOLD YOU THAT YOU DISTRACT ME”

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tsukkiboii · 4 years ago

Note

hi bby! i said i was gonna leave an ask and i meant that. can i ask for a tsukki, kenma or kuroo? maybe they about an argument and then they make-up? maybe they fought about fans flirting with them or video games or whatever! ill let you decide! love you ❤❤❤❤❤

my first request sjhjshshsj🥺🥺

bea bb thank you i love n appreciate you so much <3 i decided to go with kenma and arguing over a video game bc i vibed with it the most hehe, i hope you like it!! this fic is so much longer than i had intended it to be im sorry-

and i apologize that this took so long :( life has been really messy and all over the place :((

fights, tears, and make-ups

pairing: kenma kozume x reader

word count: 1.4k

genre: angst (but i honestly can’t tell if it’s super ansty-), fluff, hurt/comfort

synopsis: kenma shouldn’t have taken you for granted, but he did.

“Kenma, you need to eat dinner.”

“In a sec,” you heard the blond-haired boy reply from his gaming room, undoubtedly with his eyes still glued to the screen.

“Kenma. You haven’t eaten all day. You need to eat.”

Seconds pass with no response. With a sigh, you grabbed the bowl beside you and walked towards his room. Sliding open his door, you find him completely focused on the game. He’s pale, dark circles under his eyes drooping and anyone walking in would see he’s exhausted, needing rest, but he can’t. The only thing on his mind is that he has to pass this level.

Walking over gently, you place the bowl onto his table. Kenma jumps at the noise, not having known you were there, the motion making his screen character go a little too far left and being crushed by a falling rock.

He throws his console onto the desk and gives you a stare burning through your skin. “I was about to pass that level. I’ve been stuck on it for a day and you just had to enter right then.”

“Kenma, you haven’t eaten a single thing today-”

“Oh, shut up.”

You tense up under his harsh words, about to speak when you’re cut off by more of his rambling.

“Kenma this, Kenma that. It’s annoying. Quit acting like I can’t take care of myself. Things were so much quieter and calmer without you anyways.”

His tone is barely above a whisper, almost as if he thought it was too much of a bother to talk to you. Taken aback by his words, you take a moment to fully absorb what he had said, every word cutting a slash into your heart.

“I hope your life goes back to calm and quiet” were the last words you left him before you left the apartment with tears streaming down your face.

Kenma’s eyes linger on you for a moment before going back onto his screen. He instantly regrets what he said, but doesn’t go after you. Instead, he restarts his game and his character dies again, at the exact same place.

The bowl of food on his table goes cold.

The first day with you gone passes fine for Kenma. As usual, he goes to sleep at way too late and gets up at noon-ish and scrambles together some food to prepare for his stream. His viewers tell him he doesn’t seem as energetic, and isn’t smiling as much. He says that he’s a little tired and didn’t sleep too well last night, which was only half the truth. He feels a little empty, mind often tracing back to your smile and then immediately to your tear-stained face. He eats two bites of bread for dinner and decides to go to sleep.

“I’ll be fine,” he thinks, “I don’t need y/n to live.”

The days only spiral downhill from there. Snack wrappers thrown all over the apartment and laundry piled up into stacks. He hasn’t eaten something actually cooked in days. Having no energy to do anything, he calls off streams for a whole week. Most of his time is spent lying on the sofa with his face towards the ceiling, replaying his last conversation with you in his head over and over and over again.

“Things were much quieter and calmer without you anyways.”

I’m sorry. Please come back.

He contemplates so many times on whether or not to call you, to text you, to try and get in touch with you. But he just couldn’t bring himself to do it. He was the one who hurt you, told you you were annoying when he didn’t realize how much you matter to him.

Kuroo checks in on Kenma every single day. By the fourth day, he’s determined to make him talk to you.

“Kenma, you can’t keep living like this.”

Tired eyes glued to his screen, the pudding-head boy grumbles in response, Not enough energy in him to do anything else.

Sighing, Kuroo unplugs his entire monitor and forces his chair to spin towards him so that he’s staring Kenma right in the eyes.

“Kenma, I’m serious. You need to talk to her.”

“And then what?”

Kuroo staggers a little, taken aback from the question.

“And then what, Kuroo? I hurt her. She deserves so much better anyways.”

The rooster-haired boy takes his phone and throws it onto his lap.

“You need to call her sooner or later. I don’t know when, but you need to.”

Kenma gently holds his phone with two hands with his thumbs hovering over the screen, constantly switching between the keyboard and the delete button. He debates himself for fifteen seconds before giving up and pressing the call button.

The phone has rung seven times and you have yet to pick up. He’s certain that you won’t pick up at all. Yet on the eighth ring, you pick up.

“Kenma?” He hears from the other side.

His voice hitches in his throat. A thousand thoughts are crossing his mind and his breath is suddenly stggered. He tries to say “I’m sorry”, “Where are you”, and “Please come back” at the same time, but none of them seem to be coming out.

“Kenma, you there?”

“Yn.”

His voice is so empty, dull, tiring and you almost drop your phone out of shock.

“Where are you?”

Coming back to reality, you swallow and reply, “Friend’s house. Why?”

“Can we, uhm, can we talk?”

Your side of the line goes silent for three whole seconds before you take a deep breath and reply, “Sure. Give me a time and place.”

“If you don’t mind, can you just come home?”

HIs voice quivered at the word home, like it wasn’t really home to him anymore. Not without you. You couldn’t help but tell him you’ll be back in a bit.

As you reach closer to your building, the more your heart threatens to jump out of your throat. There’s a knot in your stomach that you just can’t get rid of, and even though you know this was all his fault, your mind can’t stop racing. None of this was your fault, was it?

Before realizing, your hand was on the door handle and without thinking too much, you push the door open.

To say you were shocked from the state of the apartment is an understatement. Yes, Kenma wasn’t the tidiest person in the world, but you knew he’d never let the apartment get this messy. The moment you walked in you knew he would be in a bad state too, which confused you. But he didn’t want you here, did he?

Suddenly, you hear footsteps coming towards you. Frozen in place, you wonder if this was a bad idea. If you should just leave and tell him you couldn’t make it, but it’s too late. By the time your head has gotten back into reality, he was standing in front of you, eyes full of guilt and regret.

“Hey,” you try to say, which turns out to be nothing more than a whisper.

Hesitating for a second, he stumbles towards you and falls into your arms, leaning into your touch, burying his face into your neck and mumbling “I’m sorry” and “please forgive me” again and again.

“I was stupid. It’s all my fault. I was frustrated and took it out on you. I shouldn’t have done that. I’m sorry. Everything is so much better with you and I was being dumb. I’m so sorry please don’t leave.” His eyes were brimmed with tears, threatening to spill out any second. He’s rambling, words that he had meant to say to you over the past days all spilling out. He can’t seem to be able to stop. You’ve never seen him so scared, so vulerable.

Holding him tight, you take a deep breath, swallowing the many things you wanted to say to him, to blame him, to yell at him, to tell him it’s all his fault.

Instead, you hold him tight against you.

“Shh, Kenma. I’m here now. I won’t leave, okay? I’ve got you, we can talk this out.”

He grabs onto you even tighter. “Thank you. Thank you thank you.”

You were going to have a lot to talk about, you both knew that for sure. And maybe things aren’t going to go back to how they were for a long time. But right now he was in your arms and you were in his, and he was never more determined to fix what he broke.

#haikyuu fluff #haikyuu angst #kenma fluff #kenma angst #haikyuu headcannons #taru writes

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imagines4thefandoms · 4 years ago

Text

Suddenly in love Pt 1(Zuko x Reader)

Requested: no

word count: 14K

warnings: none

It's been a couple of weeks since You realized that You were in love with your best friend. When You told Katara and Sokka your roommates they told me two things: that they knew since we met and that You should go tell him. You were hesitant at first because You have been best friends with Zuko since y'all were four. You don't want things to get awkward between us. So You checked his location and saw that he was in the park. The drive was about five minutes but time stopped when You saw him. Seeing Zuko now; it was completely obvious that You were in love with him and that You realized that You should have known that You loved him a lot sooner. As You stepped out of your car time stopped again but the time in a bad way. You noticed that Zuko wasn't alone he was kissing some girl.

You quickly turned around and got back into your car. On your way home You got a text from Zuko about how he wanted to tell you something. You knew what he wanted to tell you. But something in you was broken. The stoplight before your turn to go home You just sat there ready to go straight but something in you took over. Instead of going straight, You made a U-turn and put your apartment in your rearview mirror.

I'm not home right now. Later? -Me

Sure. U good? -Zuko

Yea, running errands- Me

The entire drive was like an out of body experience. You knew You were driving but You don't remember driving. When You put the car in park You were at a diner in a different state. After sitting in your car for ten minutes, You walked into the diner and got a table. You were halfway done with your burger when You got a text from katara in the roommate group chat.

Why did Zuko tell me that you were running errands?- Katara

Can you pick up some milk and ice cream? I want milkshakes.- Sokka

Make it chocolate ice cream please!!!!- Aang

I'm not running errands. I lied to Zuko.- Me

Wait! Did you tell Zuko how you feel about him? -Katara

You finally realize you're in love with Zuko.- Suki

No I didn't tell him because I saw him kissing some girl in the park.- Me

The waitress came to your table and refilled your coffee. Your phone went off two more times and You just ignored it. You picked at you fries and just stared out the window til your phone went off again.

Wait so no milkshakes?- Sokka

I'm so sorry (y/n). If you're not running errands, what are you doing?- Katara

We can cancel tonight if you want to.-Aang

The waitress came to take your plate away and she handed you the check. Your hands warmed around the coffee mug and everything around you seemed to disappear. You were about to leave when you took your phone and texted back.

No its movie night. We are not cancelling.- Me

You went to the group chat with everyone not just the people who lives in your apartment and sent a text.

I'm getting milkshakes. What flavor does everyone want?- Me

CHOCOLATE!- Aang

CHOCOLATE!!!!!- Sokka

Vanilla- Katara

Strawberry- Suki

Peanut Butter Banana- Toph

Ok got it. I'll be home in half an hour.- Me

Zuko???? (y/n) the greatest person in the world is getting milkshakes if you don't tell her what kind you want i'm going to take yours.- Sokka

Sokka calm down I already know what flavor Zuko wants. So no extra milkshake for you.- Me

You paid for your meal and left the little diner. You didn't know exactly where You were so You put the address for the milkshake place in your phone and just enjoyed the peaceful ride. Once again You didn't remember driving to the milkshake place. You just walked in and ordered 2 Chocolate, 1 vanilla, 1 strawberry, 1 PB & Banana, and 2 M&M milkshakes. The lady at the shop took about ten minutes to make seven milkshakes. After You secured the milkshakes in your car You got behind the wheel and just sat there.

"Come on (y/n) start the car and go home to enjoy these milkshakes with your friends and Zuko," you said out loud.

When did Zuko become 'and Zuko'. 'God i'm so stupid. Why didn't I notice how I felt about him earlier. He wouldn't be with that girl. He would be with me. Instead of 'and Zuko' You would say 'and my boyfriend'' you thought. Your phone went off and You saw a text from Zuko 'everything ok? Its been longer than thirty minutes. I'm starting to get worried."

"Hey Siri. Reply to Zuko," you called to your phone.

"What do you want to say to Zuko?" Siri replied.

"Stop being overprotective. It took longer than I expected. I will be home in 5 minutes."

"you text says, "stop being overprotective. It took longer than I expected. I will be home in 5 minutes. Would you like to send the text?" Siri asked.

"yes," you replied.

"Message sent."

The drive home felt like it took hours. Red light seemed to take ten minutes and you seemed to catch every red light. You didn't know if it was because you had to actually be somewhere or if the thought of seeing Zuko was causing the time confusion. When you pulled to your apartment building Zuko was waiting outside for you. He walked to the passengers side and helped carry the milkshakes up to your apartment.

"Where you waiting to help me or waiting to make sure I was actually here in 5 minutes?" You asked him unlocking the gate in front of your building that only people who lived here could open.

"Both. What took you so long? You are never late." Zuko replied with a worried look.

You looked in his golden eyes and realized why you loved this man. He cared about you, sure he was over protective but it was sweet. Zuko has always been there for you since you two met. You gave him a smile as he held the door to the building open for you.

"Relax i'm fine. I just didn't realize how far away I was."

Y'all took the elevator up to the third floor. Zuko as usual was hovering over you. A month ago you would have yelled at him about being overbearing but now its like he isn't close enough. The quiet that surrounded y'all was, for the first time ever, awkward. You kept glancing over at him to drink in every inch of him like it was your first time seeing him.

"Oh I wanted to tell you something. I met this girl. She's funny, smart, and beautiful," Zuko said turning to face you.

"That's awesome ZUZU. Im happy for you," you replied and you could of swore that you heard your heart break into a million pieces.

"Thanks her name is Mai. I think I really like her."

The elevator doors opened and the stale awkward air was replaced with the gross air of your apartment floor. The two of you walked down the hallway to your door with the number 312. Zuko took the milkshakes out of you hands so your could grab your keys from your purse. Just as you unlocked the door Sokka quickly opened it and grabbed the milkshakes out of Zuko's hands.

"(y/n) you are the best person in the entire world. I love you so much," Sokka said bringing the milkshakes to the kitchen.

"Don't let Suki hear you confess your love for me Sokka," you replied as you entered the apartment and locking the door behind you.

"You got him to shut up about milkshakes. You are the best and I love you too," Suki said getting off the couch.

Everyone grabbed their milkshake and went back to their seats. You head to your room and throw your purse on your bed before grabbing your milkshake. Zuko handed it to you and thanks you for the milkshake. Aang picked the movie tonight, which was "Kung Fu Panda". You and Zuko sat on the couch next to each other and enjoyed the milkshakes while Aang started the movie.

The movie was almost over but you where getting kinds sleepy from all the driving you did today. The two love sick couples went to bed which left Toph, Zuko, and you in the living room watching/ listening to the movie. Your eyes started to get heavy so you rested your head on Zuko's shoulders. In that moment, everything felt right with the world. Zuko had his arm wrapped around you as you fell asleep. Toph said something about Zuko being stupid but you were too tired to listen. The last thing you remembered before going to sleep was Zuko playing with your hair while your head rested in his lap.

PART 2

#zuko x reader #zuko x mai #zuko imagine #avatar imagine

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whump-captain · 3 years ago

Text

No. 22 - They made me do it

cursed | demon | obsession

(1200 words, OC)

i wonder if this is comprehensible lol cause im not sure if i want this to be canon or not and the reason is that it ties into another story i have in my head and that one's pretty lore-heavy and sprawling and these characters would literally be on the very edges of it, barely involved. idk. it's long again.

---

CN: possession, seizure, knifepoint, blood, glass in mouth, panic attack, paranormal happenings

---

Elaine's had a bad feeling for days already when she gets the text. Cutter messages her in the dead of the night, two words: "Coming over". It makes her sigh but she does have to admit she appreciates the warning. It only took one mention from her that she's not a fan of unannounced visits for him to cut them out completely; sticking to texts or phone calls instead or giving her a heads-up with a - usually excessively wordy - text. Tonight, though, she's tired and on edge, so she misses the uncharacteristic brevity. Until the doorbell rings and she opens to see him leaning on the door frame, face pale as ash, his smile a ghost of the usual one. "Sorry," he breathes. "Didn't know where else to go."

She opens her mouth to answer but suddenly he doubles over; Elaine moves to catch him and feels that he's ice cold to the touch. His skin looks wrong too, it has a strange, dull sheen to it, like plastic.

Or like glass.

"What's going on?" she asks through a dry throat. She leads - no, more like drags him inside; his knees wobble, he clings to her for balance.

"I've just-" The reply comes, fragmented by heavy breaths. "Just felt like shit all day and then- Then I felt-" He barks a cry of pain and his body seizes. It feels like something inside him rips. Every muscle tenses at once and refuses to obey him, he half-registers Elaine catching him again. Horrible tension builds inside his lungs, like a scream he can't contain but the voice isn't his. It burns, just like his skin burns now, every inch of it, converging and culminating over his sternum, right in the center of the scar.

Elaine jerks back when he convulses. Her mind throws a hundred words a minute at her, each more frantic than the previous. Seizure? Stroke? Injury? No, none of those. She sees his eyes roll back and the whites are glittering, reflecting light like multifaceted glass.

This is no regular seizure.

Cutter's body thrashes out of her grip, inhuman force tears her hands off of him. But he doesn't fall. Something holds him rigidly upright, back arched, head thrown back as his mouth moves around a soundless gasp. For a split second, his face twists into a grimace of silent agony; then it falls completely blank.

When his voice comes, it's not fully his. Something else contracts his vocal cords and pushes out his breath, forming warbled, wheezing, barely human words:

"The waiting is over."

Lightning-fast, Elaine draws a dagger. Pure silver glints, in a blink it's at Cutter's throat. He shudders, but the voice keeps repeating those four words, falling now into a rhythm.

"I cast you out of this body," Elaine says, clear and strong. "By the touch of silver, by the trill of song, by my word as master of this dwelling; I cast you out."

She whistles. Four short notes; one high, two repeating, one low. The chant falters, thrown off its melody and Cutter's body sways as the presence inside it swells in furious frustration.

Elaine stands statue-still. Her arm is raised, the dagger doesn't even twitch.

"Leave," she says.

She feels it all at once. Raw emotion rushes over her like a waterfall, mixed and twisted beyond recognition. The flash of blinding anger makes her breath catch - and then it's gone. The last chanted word fades along with a faint but unmistakable pang of the deepest sadness.

The ghost is gone.

Cutter drops like a de-stringed puppet. Elaine is down with him in a dash, her hands hovering, unsure what to do as adrenaline seeps out of her. She's an expert on the supernatural; but what does she do when it's gone? Cutter's convulsing again, this time with a violent coughing fit. It sounds like he's suffocating, gasping between the coughs, and blood stains the floor below him where he holds himself up on trembling arms.

Then a small clink sounds out. Along with the blood, he spits out a polished shard of glass.

Elaine's stomach sinks. Memories rush to her and she hates being right; hates remembering the ghost that almost killed both of them, and hates the reminder that she has not truly defeated it. More glass glitters on the floor and she knows that Cutter understands now, too, because his eyes grow wide with raw terror. His gasping stops, as if someone bound his throat, and he's shaking in complete silence, blood dripping from desperately clenched teeth.

He's hyperventilating, Elaine realizes. What does she do? What would Joy do? What would-

She pulls the dagger again and shoves it into Cutter's hand. "Hold this."

He looks up at her and the veil of fear shrouding his eyes tears slightly. He inhales suddenly and then he's gasping again - but different, a fraction more controlled. She closes his fingers over the blade, careful to only male him touch the flat of it.

"It's my silver dagger," she explains. "I cast out the ghost by invoking silver, a song, and my power over the house. The house itself was probably enough, but touching silver is good as a redundancy, because it's physical. I cast it out three times, so that took it from a threat to a command, which made it harder for it to disobey, because it was in my domain. The song was to ground me, mostly."

As she speaks, Cutter's eyes do not leave hers. His breathing grows slower and quieter, he finds its rhythm once again and latches onto it as the shivers begin to calm. He says, in a voice that is hoarse and shaky but undeniably his:

"Are you using my own techniques on me?"

At that, Elaine releases a breath of her own, a heavy sigh of relief and, she realizes, exhaustion. "You said that explaining your methods calms people down," she says.

He did say that, months ago, when she asked how the hells he managed to stop people from freaking out at the bare mention of ghosts. She dismissed him then, saying that the ghosts he deals with aren't real, so surely it can't be the same. She likes being wrong, she decides.

She sits back on her heels and Cutter does the same, leaning heavily back onto his arms. He's panting now like he ran a marathon but with what breath he has he manages a short, raspy laugh. It has a hysterical edge to it, but Elaine is glad to hear it nonetheless. If he's grinning like an idiot again, then maybe the world isn't ending.

"Elaine, you are so fucking smart," he says.

She responds with a small smile of her own, tired but there. "Spare me."

"I'm serious." He lets his head drop forward, still unsteady in balance. "I'm not just flattering. You are so bloody smart and we're all going to die without you."

"What?"

He sighs and his ashen face takes on a look of vague annoyance. "I think the world is ending."

#whumptober2021 #no. 22 #cursed #oc #writing #possession #panic attack #mild body horror #magical whump #whump writing #oc whump #captain's stuff #captain's ocs #idk man don't worry about it

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neocityarchive · 5 years ago

Text

blind love | l.m.k.

— in which mark lee is so much more than just your best friend but you were too blind to realize it.

word count: 7.2k | warnings: light swearing | blind love - lola young |

a/n: i didnt mean for it to be this long but i hope you enjoy!!!

“Just friends,” Mark said, his voice still steady even in the growing tension of the moment. “That’s all you said we are, right?”

Your head dropped down to look at your hands, not knowing what to say. The overbearing guilt of rejecting his sudden confession was crushing your chest that it became painful to breathe.

“I’m sorry, Mark,” was all you could say. You forced yourself to meet his gaze through your already glassy eyes, wanting to let him know the sincerity of your words.

He smiled kindly, shaking his head. There was sadness in his eyes. And in all the years you two have known each other, you could tell how hard he was trying to hide it. “It’s okay. That’s all we’ll be.”

You bumped your head repeatedly against your study table in an attempt to rid yourself of the memory that’s constantly been playing in your head.

It was a Sunday which meant there were no classes, which meant the university was closed, which meant that you couldn’t even make an excuse to see your best friend Mark who somehow, after almost three years of friendship, suddenly decided that it was a good idea to tell you he loves you more than a friend should love a friend.

You couldn’t say it happened out of nowhere. He’s been saying he has something important to tell you for almost two weeks before the incident but every time you confront him about it, he always makes up some lame excuse to dodge. It took a lot of self-hate for yourself and a nice amount of his protective instinct to finally make him spit it out.

He came to your apartment that night, finding you barefaced, wearing a pair of sweats and one of his hoodies that you stole some time ago. From that he already knew you weren’t okay. You like wearing his stuff to seek some sort of comfort. Somehow, the smell of his clothes helps calm you down.

You were supposed to help him finish a report but you couldn’t concentrate after getting a below satisfactory grade on a major exam. College has done nothing but give you a shitload of insecurities lately and this just pushed you off the edge. The only thing that has been keeping you sane was the knowledge that you had someone who you can run to at the end of the day. Someone who is willing to listen to your rants and would do almost anything to cheer you up.

That day, however, none of Mark’s usual encouragement worked on you. He was getting frustrated hearing you downplay yourself because of a single exam. You started going on about how stupid you felt, how staying up all night to study did nothing but make you ugly. Mark countered every insult you threw at yourself, throwing in a few jokes here and there, all of which you ignored. But when you went on about how all of this made you unworthy of anything, how no one could possibly love you in this state, he just couldn’t take it anymore.

“I love you,” he snapped, cutting you off from your long self-deprecating speech.

“You’re my best friend. You’re supposed to say that,” you whined, clearly missing the point.

Mark, on the other hand, was barely holding it all inside. He ran his hands through his hair and sighed. “No, idiot. I love you. Stop saying no one could love you, because I do. And not just because you’re my best friend.”

It wasn’t until you noticed his hands were quivering that you realized what he really meant. Looking back on it, you couldn’t help but hate yourself. You were sure it took a lot of his courage (and frustration) to come clean to you like that, and you couldn’t even take him seriously at first.

“Mark, no,” you remember telling him.

“I do. I hate that I do, but I do.” He looked away. “I love you and I know you’re feeling burdened right now, but you don’t have to say it back.”

A part of you broke that day. You hated rejecting people after having gone through several rejections yourself. It’s the worst feeling. You always wished there was a way you could always return people’s feelings just so no one would get hurt, but the universe just doesn’t work that way.

You muttered about a hundred sorries to which Mark replied a hundred ‘it’s okay’s. Maybe it was meant to make you feel better, but it just felt like your heart was getting ripped off your chest.

Mark didn’t stay long after that. You didn’t even get to help him with his report. He said sorry for suddenly dropping the L-word and you said sorry for not being able to say it back. He smiled sadly and it took your everything not to cry. He asked if he could hug you and you didn’t even answer. You just went straight into his arms, burying your head in his chest like you’ve done so many times before, breathing heavily to keep yourself from breaking down. And when the two of you pulled away, he insisted on being alone for a while. You said okay followed by another sorry.

You didn’t know “being alone for a while” meant ignoring you for god knows how long. You see him at uni but he wouldn’t even meet your eye. Even when you share the same class, he would choose to sit as far from you as possible. Once, he entered a cafe you were in and upon seeing you inside, he immediately turned around and walked away.

He’s ignoring you and he isn’t even being subtle about it. Mark Lee could never be subtle about anything, not even his feelings. You really were just too blind to realize anything.

Even other people saw how he felt. People used to come up to you all the time and ask about your “boyfriend” Mark. Sure, you would blush, shy that people thought you’re in a relationship with your best friend. When you explain that you weren’t actually dating, you would get the same shocked reaction every time. One of your friends even said you acted more like a couple than most people in a relationship do. You always thought it was just because you and Mark were such good friends.

“Friends don’t hold hands in public,” you remember Renjun saying.

“We don’t hold hands. He just grabs me and drags me to places,” you said defensively.

“And they don’t hug each other and stare at each other’s eyes while talking about pizza,” Jaemin scoffed.

You just rolled your eyes at them. It never crossed your mind that maybe they were right. You and Mark have never acted like how friends should. Maybe it’s the reason why you’re in this mess after all.

You sighed to yourself. You miss him. You can’t even pretend that you don’t. He’s become such a huge part of your everyday life that you couldn’t just ignore the sudden empty space he left when he said he wanted to be alone. You know he needed time to be by himself. But a part of you keeps holding on to his promise that even after his confession, you two would still be friends. And friends text each other, right? So all your attempts at communication depended on just that.

Thursday, 5:31 PM

You: wanna go watch a movie? i’ll buy the tickets.

Mark: cant. i have an exam tomorrow. sorry :/ maybe next time?

You: oh. okay. goodluck on your exam :)

Friday, 2:21 AM

You: [photo] this is possibly the cutest cat photo i’ve seen in awhile

Mark: that’s cute but dogs are still cuter

You: … okay?

Mark: go to sleep, y/n

Friday, 12:03 PM

You: i know you dont have class rn. have lunch w me?

Mark: oh i already ate with jaemin. sorry!!

You: it’s okayyyy :>> i’ll see u later? it’s friday night sooo we can hang out.

Mark: idk the boys already asked me to go out tonight

You: oh okay have fun!

Saturday, 6:54 PM

You: maaaark

Mark: y/nnn

You: [types] i miss you kajdhfhdksjdh [deletes]

You: nothing haha wanna grab some coffee?

Saturday, 7:01 PM

You: nvm haha have a nice nighhhttt

Sunday, 10:21 PM

You: hey can we talk

Mark: ???

You: please?

Mark: ye what about?

You: you said we’d still be friends

Mark: lol aren’t we?

You: this isn’t how friends talk to each other. i miss having an actual conversation with you.

You: we dont even see each other anymore.

Mark: i literally reply more to u than i do to jaem wdym haha

You: wow fine okay

Mark: ?????

You: i guess i deserve that haha

Mark: im tired y/n. night.

You: :( nighttt

You checked your messages for the nth time, reading everything as if something was gonna miraculously change with the cold conversation thread. Your fingers have been hovering over the keypad, typing and deleting ‘i miss you’ and ‘talk to me’ for about a hundred times already.

You don’t get why you can’t just say it. What’s so wrong with telling your best friend you miss him? Why is it so hard to press send? Why are you suddenly so afraid of how he would reply or if he would even reply at all?

It was only 10:30 in the evening. You know for sure Mark is only lying about going to sleep. He never sleeps this early unless he really is tired. He does nothing on Sundays so he can’t possibly be tired. Sundays are usually just the two of you hanging out in his apartment or yours, just to watch movies or study together. So what did he do today?

“Stop thinking about him,” you grumbled to yourself. “It’s just Mark. He’s a big boy, he can handle himself.”

But that’s not the point, a voice inside your head said. Just tell him you miss him.

You typed it again, ‘I miss you,’ but deleted it as soon as it was finished. Again.

You’ve spent everyday with Mark that it suddenly hurts to think he’s enjoying the time you usually spend together alone. It’s crazy how you can’t stop thinking about how his day went or if he’s okay or whether he’s eaten or not. You know how stubborn he can be. Sometimes, he’d get so engulfed in whatever he’s doing that he would accidentally skip meals unless you remind him otherwise.

“Fuck this,” you muttered to yourself. You figured you won’t ever be left at peace if you don’t do anything about whatever you’re feeling, so you decided to text Jaemin.

Sunday, 10:52 PM

You: jaeeem hi :)

Jaemin: y/n!!!!! hello :>

You: sorry for bothering you but have you talked to mark lately?

Jaemin: im talking to him rn haha why? you want me to ask him something?

You: not really hahaha how is he?

Jaemin: haha why not ask him yourself

You: he doesnt wanna talk to me lol pls just answer

Jaemin: he’s stubborn as always. he wont listen to me.

You: why, what’s he doing?

Jaemin: idk but it’s definitely not talking to you ksjdjkd

You: … very funny

Jaemin: sorry lmaooo he’s running on an hour or two of sleep everyday

You: jaemin!! why won’t you scold him?

Jaemin: we do! he just doesn’t listen. u know he only listens to you.

Jaemin: idk why you guys still arent together lmao bunch of idiots tbh

You: we’re just friends

Jaemin: rlly? oh btw mark hyung is looking for his save the bees shirt. did u see it anywhere?

You: yeah he left it here like two weeks ago when he slept over

Jaemin: LMAOOO DOESNT SOUND LIKE FRIENDS TO ME CHIEF

You: i fckingskjfhfn hate you

Jaemin: HJSJSHHDJD ok but seriously tho mark hyung is fine. just give him time, he’ll come around.

Jaemin: he misses you but u didnt hear it from me

Jaemin: ok bye he’s getting suspicious now lol

You: idk how you’re both an angel and the devil at the same time

You: anw thanks jaem. dont tell him i asked about him lol byeee

You sighed, putting your phone down in surrender. Your mind was more of a mess now than it was before you talked to Jaemin. You hate that he makes sense especially about the weird, more-than-friendly dynamics of your relationship with Mark. But more importantly, your head was beginning to be overfilled with worry.

Mark runs on barely two hours of sleep everyday. No wonder he always looks so out of it whenever you see him in the hallway. You wanted to call him, to tell him that he should sleep already, to remind him that he shouldn’t overwork himself, that doing just enough is okay. But you know he doesn’t want to talk to you. The cold replies and the ‘????’ were more than enough to tell you that.

Still, you figured it was worth a try sending him a little reminder. So you grabbed your phone once again and typed a message, revealing a little more of your emotions than you intended to. And before you could even think twice about it, you hit send.

Sunday, 11:04 PM

You: hey i know you’re still not asleep. dont worry, you dont have to reply to me. i just wanna tell you that you should take care of yourself. i know you. you’re stubborn and sometimes you won’t sleep or eat unless someone reminds you to so,, this is me reminding you haha. stop overworking yourself mark, please? you cant be sick cause i cant take care of you since you wont talk to me… lol jk. but seriously, get more rest (and talk to me,, hahah jk again unless u wanna ;)) please go to sleep now. goodnight. see you around i guess.

You stopped texting Mark after that. You wondered if he would find the initiative to talk to you first if you didn’t start the conversation. Now, two days have passed and your sleep reminder remains to be the last message on your conversation thread. You couldn’t say it didn’t hurt. You were hoping for at least a small thanks but didn’t get anything at all.

You were starting to get more and more frustrated as the days went by. It’s so unfair that you are slowly losing your best friend because of this. It’s unfair that you can’t even be mad at him because you just broke his heart. You wished there was any way you could have changed what happened, but the past remains to be written.

That afternoon, you passed by one of the cafes you and Mark always go to. You went inside, suddenly craving their special banana muffin which he introduced to you some months ago. The owner recognized you right away as you came up to the cashier.

“You’re not with your boyfriend today?” she asked.

You felt your heart skip a beat and not in a good way. It hurt. You figured there was no use in explaining since she probably won’t believe that Mark is not your boyfriend so you just smiled sadly and answered, “No.”

The lady somehow talked you into buying two muffins so you can bring one to your “boyfriend.” After handing her your payment, you realized maybe that wasn’t such a bad idea. Mark always brings you stuff whenever you’re mad or upset. He knows exactly what you’re craving for even before you knew you were craving for it. Why not try if it works on him?

As soon as you headed out the cafe, you whipped your phone out to text Jaemin, asking if he knew where Mark was. It’s Tuesday, his most free day of the week so he could be anywhere. Jaemin replied not after five minutes.

Jaemin: not sure but he mentioned something about the library??

You: okay thank you!

From that, you knew exactly where Mark is. There was a small patio-like spot beside the library that he likes going to. Not a lot of people utilize the place since the tables and chairs are almost always filled with dried fallen leaves from the surrounding trees but Mark likes the thought of being close to nature.

That day though, there were more people around the area than usual. It was lunchtime so most people were out of the classrooms. Still, it wasn’t hard spotting Mark. It has never been much of a challenge finding him in a crowd of people. You saw him as soon as he came into view, sitting by the table on the corner under one of the ginkgo trees. He had his laptop open and a box of food beside it. His eyebrows furrowed in concentration one moment and then he was laughing the next.

You were about to make your way towards him but immediately stopped in your tracks when you realized he wasn’t alone.

You didn’t know who the girl was. You’ve seen her a lot of times in class and in the hallway. You even have a vague memory of Mark talking to her one time. But you never really bothered to learn her name. She had that soft, innocent look that goes so well with her shy smile. She had her hair tucked in her ears to show just enough of her pretty face. She was beautiful. Unconventionally but undeniably. But none of that mattered.

When she said something with a smirk and Mark let out his trademark laugh, nose scrunching, hand repeatedly hitting the table, shoulders shaking and all, it felt like something punched you in the stomach. He uttered something in reply and now both of them are clutching their sides for laughing too hard.

He looks happy, you thought, I should be, too.

But you aren’t. You continued watching their exchange, him showing her something on his laptop and both of them laughing once again. Your chest felt heavy, like something was sitting on it and now it hurts to breathe. You didn’t realize you’ve been clutching the plastic bag containing the muffin too hard until you felt the sting of nails digging on your palms. You knew you should look away but you couldn’t. You wanted to run towards him. You wanted to tell the girl to scooch over so you can sit beside Mark and give him his muffin.

This is pathetic. I should be happy for him, you said to yourself. But why am I not?

You wanted to be angry, to scream and say that it should be you he’s laughing like that with. To say that it’s you he should be spending his time with. You wanted to ask if he still feels the way he said he does about you. And if he does, then why this? But you remained glued to the ground.

You hated how you were being selfish. You rejected him, remember? So why do you expect him to follow your tails like an intoxicated mad dog? Why can’t you be happy at the possibility that he found someone that feels the same way he does? Why does it… hurt? It’s not supposed to. If you really are friends, then him being happy with someone after your rejection should make you happy as well. If you really are friends, then you shouldn’t be standing here looking stupid, watching them from afar, wishing he’s with you instead.

“What are you looking at?”

You jumped at the sudden disruption, almost dropping your muffins. “What the hell, Jaemin?!” you whined, finally looking away from Mark.

“Mark hyung and Mina?” he snorted.

So that’s her name. “No,” you lied, forcing yourself to take a step away, then another, then another.

“Are you jealous?” Jaemin teased. “Have you finally realized you’re also whipped for our hyung?”

“No,” you grumbled.

“Then why are you almost crying?”

You blinked. You didn’t even realize the tears pooling in your eyes. Why are you being like this? “Shut up. I’m not.”

Jaemin only shrugged. “Fine. Torture yourself, then.” He smirked. “By the way, Jeno and I are inviting people to our place this Friday after exams. Just some drinks and maybe karaoke, I don’t know. We all deserve a break from hell. Wanna come?”

You didn’t reply. Your mind was too preoccupied with other things.

“Mark hyung is coming,” he said. “Maybe Mina too.”

“I don’t wanna go,” you said immediately, suddenly coming up with a decision.

The boy laughed. “You are jealous! God, I love it when you prove yourself wrong. You shouldn’t be though. You already know he likes you.”

“I’m not jealous! Stop it,” you whined, really wanting to cry this time. Everything is so frustrating and Jaemin is not being of any help. You wanted to go home and just wrap yourself in your blanket and maybe one of Mark’s hoodies.

“Then come to our place this Friday. It’s gonna be fun.” He grinned.

“Fine. Whatever. Just get away from me, you little shit,” you said, kicking him lightly in the butt.

You didn’t know if it was a lie or not but if Mark really is seeing someone now, you just didn’t like the idea of seeing them flirt with each other in front of your eyes. Even the thought of it makes you want to pull all your hair out. Is that considered jealousy? If so, why are you feeling it for someone who’s supposed to be just a friend?

Thursday came and you found yourself crying after realizing the shirt you’ve been wearing the whole day was Mark’s. No wonder he looked surprised seeing you in the hallway. He looked away immediately though, acting as if you weren’t there. It didn’t even cross your mind since you use this shirt quite a lot.

After calming yourself down, you put your playlist on shuffle and cried some more after Friends by Ed Sheeran started playing. You didn’t even realize how fitting the song was for your situation until now. Mark probably did.

You remembered him singing that song once. The two of you were just lounging in his apartment. He was playing his guitar while you pretended to study when in reality you were just looking at him. You watched as his fingers plucked and strummed the guitar strings while he softly mumbled lyrics, head bobbing to the tune. He’s good. Unsurprisingly, since he’s good at everything.

When he realized you were staring at him, he turned his head slightly to meet your eyes, one side of his lips curling up into a smirk. “No, my friends won’t love me like you do,” he sang.

You looked away, your cheeks heating up almost immediately. It was hard to focus on your readings when he’s sitting right in front of you looking like that, singing like that. You sighed. He truly was never being subtle about how he felt.

After finishing the song, Mark put his guitar down and laid his head on your lap, not even bothering to ask if it’s okay. That’s how comfortable you were with each other.

“What are you doing?” You remember whining.

“Wake me up after 15 minutes,” he said, already closing his eyes. You took a photo of him that night. He’s cute when he’s asleep. Even cuter when you look at him up close.

Of course, you just had to search your camera roll to find the photo. When you did, it felt as if a storm was raging on your stomach and a gorilla was pounding on your chest. It never dawned to you just how much it hurts that he suddenly left you alone until that moment.

“Goddamn, I miss you so much,” you muttered, looking at his peaceful expression in the photo.

And then you cried some more. You feel lost.

All you wanted to do was curl up in his arms and inhale his scent and listen to how his day went (and maybe accidentally fall asleep together). It sucks because you really had no one else to turn to. The single person who has always been your safe place doesn’t want to talk to you and even if he did, you really wouldn’t know what to say. Perhaps friends really aren’t like that. The thought of everyone being right when they said that maybe you and Mark were never really just friends has never been stronger than it was tonight.

Still, you couldn’t be bothered to sort your feelings out.

He feels like home, you thought. It was the best way to explain the sense of comfort and safety and the feeling of being more than enough that he provides you. It’s the only thing you can think of when your mind drifts to how he is always the constant person that you run to at the end of the day. But friends can feel like home, too, right?

Not to this extent. Not really.

Friday. You found yourself aimlessly roaming around the neighborhood after your classes in the hopes of distracting yourself from your feelings or whatever the hell they’re supposed to be called. You wouldn’t have remembered Jaemin’s party if you didn’t happen to pass by their apartment building.

You stood in front of it for two solid minutes, contemplating whether to go or not.

Mark might be there, you thought. With everything that’s going on in your head and with all the mess happening in your chest, would it really be a good idea to see him? You thought maybe all these things you’re feeling are just a result of missing him. All these sadness and confusion might just be because you miss your best friend.

So you entered the building. You told yourself that you’ll try talking to him again this time, no matter how stubborn he’s going to be. And if it still doesn’t change anything, then you will take it as a sign to let him go. If not forever, then at least for now.

You reached the door to Jaemin and Jeno’s apartment. Even from the outside, the sound of the bass can already be heard. You wondered how long before the neighbors would file a complaint against them, but knowing Jaemin and Jeno, their neighbors are probably inside, partying with them right now.

Before entering, you looked down on your chest just to make sure you were wearing your own shirt and not Mark’s. It didn’t feel right wearing his stuff anymore. God, it really felt like you just broke up. Why is it like this?

You took a deep breath and opened the door. There were already a lot of people inside even if it was just 8 in the evening. Most of them, you know the faces of. You smiled to greet some and muttered a hi to others.

Renjun spotted you as soon as you came into the living room. “Y/N!” He grinned, handing you a cup of god knows what. “Jaemin said he invited you but we were all pretty sure you were gonna ghost us. But you didn’t!”

You laughed hesitantly. “Thanks, I guess?”

“Drink up. It’s a cocktail I made myself,” he said proudly, almost forcing the cup into your mouth.

You took a sip, figuring it won’t do any harm but you spat the liquid back to the cup as soon as it touched your tongue. “What the hell did you put in this?”

He shrugged. “Honestly, I don’t know. I just mixed in everything I could find. Thanks for trying it out though. I’ve been looking for a volunteer for five minutes already.”

You frowned. There were a lot of things you were unsure of at the moment but there is one thing that’s certain: you have weird friends. You were about to complain to Renjun when he plucked the cup from your grip and went on to find another victim, not even bothering to listen when you said you literally spat on the cup.

Mark didn’t seem to be anywhere. The apartment wasn’t that big so if he was here, it would be easy to spot him. Maybe he decided not to show up after knowing you were coming. And honestly, part of you was relieved. As much as you wanted to talk to him, you still didn’t know what to say.

I’m sorry I broke your heart, but I miss you so much and I did a lot of thinking and maybe we really shouldn’t be labeled as just friends but I don’t know if I love you, is that okay? That’s just stupid. This whole thing is stupid.

You wanted to leave. Parties have never really been your thing. You usually just go because Mark asked you to since he loves interacting with people. But you figured you needed some alcohol in your system, mainly as a distraction, but also to give you a boost of courage just in case. So you made your way to the kitchen, avoiding eye contact with anyone as much as possible.

You stopped in your tracks as you came to the kitchen. The sound of that laugh was all too familiar.

Great, you thought. Mark was there. And Mina was too. But so were Jeno and Jaemin who exchanged looks as soon as their eyes landed on you. They were all laughing about something before you came.

“You’re here!” Jaemin said a little too enthusiastically in a poor attempt to address the sudden increase of tension in the room.

“Hi,” you said, smiling sheepishly, purposefully avoiding Mark’s gaze which you could feel boring into you. “Just gonna get a drink.”

“Help yourself,” Jeno said. Jaemin smirked beside him.

The refrigerator was just beside Mark. Just great, you thought again. You walked towards it, desperately trying to ignore the four pairs of eyes following your every move.

“Excuse me,” you muttered, still not looking at your best friend.

Mark took a step sideways before opening the fridge for you. You muttered a quick thanks before grabbing the first bottle your hands landed on, not even bothering to check what it was. You really just wanted to get out of there. Maybe the talking to Mark plan was flawed from the beginning because you clearly can’t find the courage in you to face him now.

Beside you, Mark clicked his tongue. He was so close that you could smell his perfume mixed with a bit of alcohol. It made your knees weak.

He took the bottle from your hand and put it back before grabbing a different one and handing it to you. “The other one had vodka. Vodkas give you a headache, remember?” he said in a slightly annoyed tone.

“Oh.” Your voice sounded small even to your own ears. Not gonna lie, you wanted to cry at that moment. “Thanks.”

You could hear Jaemin snickering behind you but you couldn’t bring it in yourself to care. You turned to everyone and said a quick goodbye before dashing out of the kitchen.

Your heart was beating hard and rapidly and not because you moved too fast. You didn’t know why but it hurt seeing Mark like that, like he was okay, like nothing changed with the two of you. It hurt knowing that even after everything, he still knows you the best.

You wanted to run. You wanted to disappear. But you couldn’t leave without passing by the kitchen. Somehow, you know someone in there would stop you. If not Mark, then definitely Jaemin. But you really wanted to be alone. So you resorted to the next best thing. You whipped your phone out and sent Jaemin a text.

You: thanks for inviting me to this party. now i feel like shit :D

Jaemin: IM SORRY BUT DONT LEAVE YET TF

You: i need to be alone and i cant leave without passing by the kitchen and seeing mark. so pls let me use your room for a while.

You: i wont do anything i promise. i just need to calm down.

Jaemin: fine but dont lock the door

You: okay thanks

The door to Jaemin’s room was at the other end of the apartment. You made your way through the noisy crowd, slipping from Renjun’s weird gimmicks when he tried to make you a victim once again, before finally reaching the quiet confines of Jaemin’s room.

The thin walls barely blocked the noise but at least there was no one else here. You sat at the edge of the bed and placed the beer bottle on the floor. You forgot you didn’t even manage to open it. So you just stared at your feet, trying to catch your breath even if you didn’t do anything. That heavy feeling on your chest was back again. It was now associated with being in Mark’s presence.

You started counting to ten to calm yourself down before burying your face on your palms, breaking down into sobs as soon as your forehead came in contact with your fingers. “God, why can’t I just…” you cried, “... admit it to myself already?”

You wanted to thrash around in the bed in frustration but you thought Jaemin didn’t deserve such a mess so you settled with getting up and lightly banging your head against the door. It’s a bad habit you do when you feel annoyed or frustrated. Mark has always been reminding you to stop before you hurt yourself.

Mark. Again. You groaned, hitting your head a little harder this time.

Someone knocked on the door making you stop. You took a step back, thinking you just imagined it. But there it was again.

“Someone’s here,” you said, trying to hide the sound of your voice breaking.

“I know. Can I come in?” It was Mark. There was no question.

Your heart started pounding on your chest once again. You wanted to tell him to go away but you couldn’t find it in yourself to do so.

He took your silence as a yes. He swung the door slightly and poked his head through the small opening. Your hands immediately flew to your face to hide the fact that you’ve been crying.

“You know, I came in here because I didn’t wanna see you when I pass by the kitchen if I leave then you come here making me look like a clown,” you said, your voice muffled by your hands.

Mark chuckled softly. “Why didn’t you wanna see me?”

You didn’t reply. Your face felt hot, not just because of the tears that just won’t stop falling but also because all the blood has come rushing to your cheeks.

Mark grabbed both your wrists and gently lowered your hands down, trying to see your face, but your head bent down as soon as it wasn’t covered. “Y/N, look at me,” he said, hands still on your wrists.

“No.”

“Are you crying?” The idiot crouched down to have a glimpse of your face making you whine and cover your face again. “Last I checked, I should be the one looking brokenhearted around here.”

“God I hate you,” you mumbled. “You ignored me for nearly four weeks and you come in here just to make fun of me.”

He let out an empty laugh. “Well, you did break my heart so…”

At that, you removed your hands from your face to look at him. You were going to say sorry but Mark had that smug look on his face that made you want to punch him. It was almost convincing if you weren’t so good at reading the real emotions in his eyes. His expression softened upon finally seeing you properly.

He looked away, not being able to hold your gaze either. That just confirmed how hard he was trying to keep up with the exterior he was showing everyone.

“I’m sorry,” you said, voice breaking.

He sighed. “I told you. It’s okay.”

“But it’s not,” you cried. “I’m sorry I hurt you. I didn’t realize how easy it was to misread what we had because let’s face it, we don’t act like ‘just friends.’ I’m sorry because I was too blind to see how you felt even when you weren’t really trying to hide it. I’m sorry because even though I rejected you, I was so selfish that I still wanted to keep you for myself without realizing that you probably needed to be away from me to move on. I’m sorry because…” you swallowed.

Mark was just looking at you, eyebrows slightly raised in anticipation of what you were going to say next. You missed him. You missed that cute face of his. You missed being in his presence. You missed his voice and his laugh and how he loves teasing you even if he probably feels like shit inside. You missed everything. Four weeks have been too long without each other. Four weeks is too long without your best friend. Four weeks is too long without your home. And that’s when you realized…

“... I can’t let you go. And I might be too late, but I’m sorry that I only just realized why.”

“Why?” he asked.

It was a simple question. Why? Yet it managed to carve out every single feeling you’ve ever felt for this boy. Every little moment he made you laugh. Every small heartbreak you get when he fails to keep his tiny promises. Every single night you ‘accidentally’ fell asleep next to each other. Every ounce of fulfillment you get when you finally convince him to sleep after a long day. Every goodnight. Every good morning. Everything.

“I love you,” you said. It sounded almost like an exhale.

For a moment, Mark didn’t reply. Your head immediately started swarming with unwelcomed thoughts. Maybe you were too late. You almost forgot about Mina who he seems to be having an excellent time with. Maybe he managed to move on within those four weeks. It’s possible, right? You had your chance and you missed it.

Finally, Mark let out a laugh, his head falling down to look at the floor. “I told you you didn’t have to say it back,” he said, voice soft.

You shook your head. “I’m not saying it because you said it first,” you said. “I realize this might be the worst timing but I just thought you should know you weren’t the only one being stupid enough to fall for their best friend. I was just too dumb to realize that that’s what it was.”

“Why would it be the worst timing?” He frowned.

You felt like crying again. You really wish you had some alcohol in your system right now. Why is this whole confession thing taking so long? “‘Cause you’re dating Mina? Or trying to. I don’t know. I tried not keeping tabs on you because our friends are assholes who wouldn’t stop teasing me. She’s pretty, by the way. You two look good together.”

Mark laughed again. It was raw and real this time, and god, the way your chest tightened in endearment at the sound was so pure. “You thought me and Mina are dating?”

“Aren’t you? I’ve seen you guys together a lot.” Well, once. But you tend to overestimate things.

“No!” He snorted. “Jaemin and I are trying to get her and Jeno together. If anything, she made me realize that we definitely aren’t just friends.”

“Really?” Now you just feel stupid. But what else is new? It’s all you’ve been feeling lately. Come to think of it, Mark and Mina didn’t even come close to how you two act with each other.

“Really,” he said. “Friends don’t stay at each other’s place and cuddle with each other just to fall asleep, Y/N. Besides, I said I love you, didn’t I? Did you really think that’s just gonna go away that quickly?”

“Mark, I can’t even sort my feelings out. How am I supposed to figure out how yours work?” You sighed.

“Fine. Just to be clear, I still love you. Even if you don’t, I love you,” he said, taking both your hands and placing it on his shoulder before putting his on your waist.

“But I do.”

“Say it then.”

“I love you. Even if you’re the dorkiest person I know, I love you.” Your fingers tangled themselves in his hair. You’ve run your hands through his hair so many times before. You wondered why it never crossed your mind that you liked doing it not because his hair is soft but because you were sucker for the domestic feeling of it.

Mark couldn’t stop himself from smiling that he had to bury his face at the crook of your neck. “I’m not used to this, sorry.”

“Me neither,” you laughed.

When he finally composed himself, he pulled away just enough to look at you. All those times you’ve stood this close before does not even compare to how it’s like right now. This is the perfect mix of feeling new but familiar.

“You have no idea how many mornings I fought the urge to kiss you whenever we wake up next to each other,” he said in a soft voice.

“Well, nothing’s stopping you know, is there?” you muttered, eyes fluttering to his lips.

You pulled Mark down by the neck as he pulled you closer to him, your lips finally connecting. The idea of kissing him isn’t new to you. There were so many times before that you’ve found yourself inches away from his face and slamming your lips together wouldn’t have been such a bad idea. But this is the first you actually kissed him yet he felt so familiar that you were almost sure you’ve done this a million times before. His lips were soft against yours that it made you weak in the knees. If he weren’t holding onto you like he was, you probably would’ve crumpled already.

The two of you pulled away, breathless.

“Wow,” he breathed. “That didn’t even come close to how I imagined it would feel like.”

You laughed. “This whole night didn’t come close to how I imagined it would be like. I thought you were gonna keep on ignoring me. And honestly, I wouldn’t know how to cope anymore because I really, really miss you already. So thanks for saving me.”

“Stop making me blush. I don’t know how I can possibly love you more than this.”

You rolled your eyes but you couldn’t stop yourself from smiling. This was only one of the very few times that the reality went better than your expectations. But then again, maybe you and Mark have always been meant to happen. It was happening even before you realized it was. And now that you finally managed to sort how you both felt, there was no more wasting chances.

“Do I still have to ask you to be my girlfriend?” he asked.

“We’ve literally slept in the same bed so many times. I’d be more surprised if we’re not dating already,” you joked.

Mark grinned. “You’re literally the only one who didn’t realize that until today, but it’s okay, I still love you.”

You laughed. “Wanna go outside and pretend we didn’t make up? I’m 100% sure Jaemin betted on us.”

“I worry how your mind works sometimes, Y/N,” Mark said with a frown before kissing you on the forehead. “But let’s do it.”

You smiled. You’ve said it a lot but you really missed this proximity. You missed being able to hug him whenever you want, and now you can kiss him whenever you want too. You wanted to say you could get used to this, but the thing is… you already are.

#y/n is a clown here read at your own risk #BUT PLS ENJOY CAUSE I DID #dhjdkjfhdfk i should stop writing about mark #nct au #nct imagines #mark lee imagines #mark lee #nct mark au #nct prompts #nct blurbs #soft nct hours #sad nct hours #nct fluff au #nct angst au #nct dream au #nct 127 au

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gingrrfrog · 5 years ago

Text

this must be my dream

a second part :D because loved the last Johnny request I made so much 🥺

you can find the first part....here!

also...this is smut because .... im johnny’s wh*re

You shoved Johnny onto your bed, lips reconnecting as you hovered over him, moaning into his mouth as he ripped off your skirt and flipped you onto his back. You grinned down at him when he moaned at the lack of underwear, wasting no time to connect his lips to your throbbing center, sucking happily on your clit before pulled away to bite kisses onto your thighs.

“I know this is kind of late but is this okay?” He asked timidly, his strong arms resting on either side of your head as he watched you fiery eyes. You nodded eagerly, sighing when his lips reached for your neck.

“I want you,” you moaned, your hands scratching down his back.

“I want you,” Johnny smiled, reaching into his underwear.

“Fuck, Johnny—“

You jolted awake at the sound of your alarm, gasping as you sat up in your room, the empty room greeting you as you pushed sweaty hair away from your face. You touched your cheeks, shaking your head in embarrassment as they burned at your palms, shoving the blankets off as you made towards your bathroom to shower.

You and Johnny had managed to get along more than you had expected, resulting in an unprecedented friendship. You tried to keep your face as stern as usual, but it was hard when you made eye contact with the other man across the room, who would stick out his tongue or gag whenever your boss spoke, making you stifle a giggle into your coffee cup.

The two of you agreed to carpool, one week being you and the other being his, opting to spend more time with each other to prepare for whatever hell your boss would only subject to you and not your work friend.

Johnny was kind hearted, gentle despite his size and build, and thoughtful. He listened to your concerns with genuine interest as he would try to make you feel better earnestly by taking you out to a bar to drink away issues or to just sit in a car and eat ice cream. He was a good friend, only making you feel guilty that you were so quick to judge him before.

However, you never saw him as anything other than just a friend, so your dream from this morning comes to a shock to you, feeling a bit uncomfortable as you try to shake the thought from your head. You’d be stupid to say that Johnny wasn’t attractive, because that wasn’t the case at all. In fact, Johnny was…incredibly attractive. He was tall, but muscular. His proportions were perfect, broad shoulders to long legs, as he looked perfect in his work suit and in casual wear when you hung out during the weekend. But to find…Johnny…sexually…

“Oh God, gross,” you deflect, shuddering while you dried your hair.

You pull on your clothes quickly, running around your apartment to gather your bag and your necessities for the day as you grabbed your keys. It was your week to carpool this time around, but seeing that today was Friday, Johnny’s week would be this upcoming Monday.

You sat in your car and texted Johnny that you were on your way, turning the ignition to start and pulling out of the parking garage, driving the now familiar route to his apartment as you parked in front of his building.

He was already waiting at the front entrance, a wide smile on his face as he carried a cup of coffee, opening the car door with his free hand before dropping inside.

“Good morning!” He greeted cheerily, handing you his cup, “here, try this.”

“What…is it?”

“Coffee, weirdo.” Johnny smiled, watching you take a sip from the cup and frowning when a strange aftertaste hit your tongue.

“Johnny…is this Irish cream?”

“Surprise!’

“Are you trying to kill me?” You gagged, shoving the cup back into his hands.

“There’s nothing wrong with a little day drinking,” He defended, taking a sip out of the discarded cup. “It’s Friday.”

“It’s fucking 10 am.”

“On a Friday.”

You roll your eyes and put your attention to driving, chatting with Johnny about the night before. He told you nothing eventful happen after you both left work last night, and that he contemplated adopting a dog when he got home. He didn’t get very far, apparently, as he remembered the pet fee in his building.

You really didn’t pay much attention to him, your mind wandering as you gave out supportive oh’s and really? At stoplights, you would watch his hands and how they flexed on his thighs, veins apparent as he fisted and relaxed them every time he was trying to make a point.

You wonder how they would feel around your throat.

“Oh fuck—“ You blinked, snapping out of your reverie when you heard a car honk at you for staying still at a green light. Johnny laughed at you and wondered why your head was in the clouds today as you blamed it on the rainy weather.

“Do you still want to go out to the bars tonight?” He asked innocently, gauging your response as your nodded.

“Sure. Right after work or…?”

“We can go home to freshen up if you want. Get rid of your old lady outfit.”

You pouted, looking down at your outfit, “you think I look like an old lady?”

“Maybe…not an old lady. Maybe an angry, hot librarian.”

You snort, side glancing at the man sat next to you, “you think I’m hot?”

Johnny cleared his throat before placing his coffee in the cup holder. Perhaps the alcohol in the Irish creme was incriminating him, “I’m not blind.”

Before either of you could dwell on it any longer, you arrived at the parking garage at the company, stepping outside the muggy air as you walked together towards the entrance. Of course, due to Johnny’s popularity, he was often pulled to the side to talk about weekend plans. The secretaries at the front desk made sure to pull him over to talk about a party they were having and that they were inviting him, only for Johnny to pull you by your shoulder and ask if you were invited too.

You stared at your feet, trying to pull away from the man’s hold only to have him pull you closer. The secretaries had no choice but to invite you, awkwardly laughing and hoping for Johnny to come, even though you both knew that you had plans for that weekend.

Following into the elevator, you had the rare chance of sharing it alone to yourselves, watching the numbers increase.

“Why did you ask them to invite me?” You asked in a small voice.

Johnny blinked, tilting his head, “why wouldn’t I? I want you to come.”

“I thought we were going to see a movie that same night?”

The other man brightened, a smile on his face, “oh yeah! I forgot! Never mind, I’ll just tell them we’re not going.”

You wanted to tell Johnny that he could always reschedule the movie if he wanted. You didn’t want to hold him down if he wanted to have fun at a party, but before you could say anything, the doors to the elevator opened and you had switched to the same, cold, finance director.

The way your desks were set up, you were on one corner of the office while Johnny’s desk was sat on the other side of the office, facing you but leaving a small sliver in between the wall and his computer monitor for him to peek at you. You found yourself looking at that peek more now, as he would send you silent messages with his face or handwritten notes on his small whiteboard. You happened to peer over when your boss was talking to him, watching as he nodded his head and looked at the screen. Your eyes strained to look at the tiniest of notes, giggling when you saw a small help me :( .

“Y/n?”

You jumped at the sound of Doyoung calling for you, standing next to your desk as you blinked at your assistant director, “oh, sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.”

You shook you head, smiling at him, “No, it’s fine. Is there something you need?”

Johnny finished his conversation with the section chief to look back over at you, hoping to send you an annoyed face from his last conversation only to see you engaged with whatever Doyoung was telling you. He watched the gentle curve of your nose and cheeks, noticing how anytime you had a suggestion you would tuck a stray strand of hair behind your ear. His heart threatened to stop when he saw you smile, a small but bright smile that sent his brain into hysterics, the same smile that made him dizzy and the same smile that was always followed with a touch to his shoulder.

His eyebrows furrowed when your face turned serious, watching as Doyoung sat next to you to look over something. What were you talking about? Was it serious? Is something wrong? Johnny watched as you stood up, taking Doyoung’s shoulder and walking away from your desk and leading him to a secluded section. Johnny swallowed harshly and grimaced at the jealousy settling in his stomach, leaning against his chair and only hoping that you would tell him later on to help settle his nerves.

“How are you holding up?” You asked Doyoung gently. No one was around the lounge during the first few hours of work, everyone working intensely on deadlines to be thinking about taking a break. All except your assistant director, who was tired as he was saddened by recent events in his life.

“I’m..here, I guess. My brother is feeling better, thankfully. My mom, however…”

You bit you lip, “Doyoung, you know you can ask me if you need some time off, right? I understand. I can pick up extra work. Everyone loves you, we want to make sure you’re okay,”

“I would hate to put you in that position though—“

“I would hate to put you in a position where you had to pick between your family and your job,” you interrupted. “Seriously, if you need to take a few days, start today. It’s not like we’re ever short staffed in the finance department anyway.”

“You sure?”

“Positive,” you gave a smile, wrapping your arms around his waist as he hugged your shoulders. “Get some rest, you need it. Let me know when you feel better.”

“Thank you.”

You pat Doyoung on the back, squeezing his arm as you watched him leave. You turned around and bumped into Johnny, cursing again as you squeezed your eyes shut.

“Fuck, Johnny,” you hissed. The taller man laughed and walked towards the coffee machine.

“Sorry. I needed a pick-me-up that wasn’t alcoholic,” he lied. There wasn’t anything he hated more than office coffee.

“So do I,” you sighed, leaning against the counter and rubbing your temples. You smiled when Johnny handed you the first cup, his hand resting on the back of your neck as he squeezed gently. You smiled at the touch, leaning into his hold as you took a sip.

“Everything okay?”

“Everything is okay,” you reassured, a gentle smile on your lips. “Don’t worry.”

It was that same smile again. Johnny bit his tongue to fight the urge to pull you into a kiss, what with you mewling in his hand. He took a deep breath instead, rubbing your back before he pulled away to grab his own coffee.

“Shall we?” He asked, prompting his way out the door.

You frowned, not ready for the work that was waiting for you now that you were down a person, “we might as well.”

The end of the work shift rolled around faster than you expected, instantly grateful for a fast work day as they were rare the more you worked. You glanced over at Johnny before walking over to his desk, your head next to his as you watched him log off with a sigh. You smiled and faced him, your lips ghosting his ear.

“How’s that report?” You teased.

“I’ll send it tomorrow,” he grumbled.

You laughed, pressing a kiss to his temple.

You froze when you realize what you did. Johnny met your eyes with widened ones before you turned on your heel, hoping that he would forget what happened and dismiss it.

“We should go!” You pressed, grabbing his arm.

Johnny gave a giddy grin as you pulled him out of the office, his head spinning from a simple kiss to his forehead. Oh how he would beg for just one more touch.

You drop Johnny off at his apartment, agreeing to meet up at nine o’clock at the bar. Johnny wanted to bring up the kiss again, but he didn’t want to press into it, instead, he opted on on kissing your forehead next, making you jump in surprise.

“Now we’re even,” he grinned, “I’ll see you at nine!”

You threw an empty coffee cup at him, cursing at him when he successfully dodged it. You watched him wave with a smile before you drove off to your apartment, desperately attempting to silence your pounding heart.

“Calm down,” you said to yourself, a smile forcing its way through your lips either way.

When you got home, the first thing you did was peel your clothing off at the door, making your way back to the shower to rid yourself of all the work tension that had built up that day. You sigh and press your fingertips into your shoulder, wondering how wonderful it would feel to have Johnny to relive the pressure in your joints, his bow shaped lips pressing kisses to the skin. In contrast to earlier, you allowed your mind to wander to the dream you had this morning and imagine his hands on your waist, his strong chest pressed against your back as kissed your neck and back.

Fine. You’ll admit that you’re attracted to your friend, but that was as far as it was going to go.

Before your thoughts could get any deeper, you pull yourself out of the shower, running a comb through your hair hastily as you prepped you face up for make up. You dried your hair in the meantime, standing around your apartment naked before pulling an oversized shirt, giving yourself a second glance in the mirror.

What…would Johnny’s shirts look like on me? You asked quietly. You watched yourself blush at the thought, smiling before going back to putting on your make up.

It took you an hour and a half with distractions to finally complete your makeup, choosing your outfit next as you pulled on a tight A-Line skirt that hugged your hips comfortably, resting just above the middle of your thigh before you pulled on your shirt, a black, sweetheart neck shirt, your hand resting against your cleavage as you felt a bit embarrassed at the display of skin. You decided to straighten your hair then, attempting to use your long hair to hide it only to find that it looked better sleeked and behind your ears, showing your neck.

A deep breath and a smile in the mirror decided you were ready to leave. You glanced at the time, grabbing a random jacket before walking to the taxi that you reserved, taking you to the bar that was near your apartment.

You don’t know why you felt so nervous, your heart pounding against your chest as you thanked the taxi driver for the ride. You paid and tipped him earnestly, stepping outside in your heels as you waited awkwardly at the front door for your friend. You make eye contact with a few coworkers, quickly turning around and clenching your eyes before you hear your name gently called.

You opened your eyes to see Johnny, look sleek in a black dress up shirt and matching pants. You smiled in relief, taking his hand and squeezing it tightly.

“You…uh…” Johnny felt his ears burn as he racked in his brain for a compliment that could fit the way you looked. The truth of the matter was that you looked too beautiful, so incredibly gorgeous and stunning that left the man stupid.

“You look beautiful,” he decided on holding back on cheesy comments and feeling happy that it made you smile.

“Thanks,” you beamed. “You don’t look too bad either.”

“There are people from work there, do you want to go to this bar instead?”

“Yes please,” you nod, leaning into his hold as you walk towards the bar over. You sit across from him and watch as he ordered drinks and appetizers, the alcohol approaching first as he poured soju in a few glasses, handing you one he lifted his cup in hand.

“Here’s to another week of work done,” he chanted, “only the rest of our lives to go.”

You laughed, clinking your drinks together before downing the drink in one go.

The two of you continue to drink and laugh as you tear through appetizers and bottles of alcohol. Johnny had moved to your side of the booth, his head supported by his elbow that was resting against the table as he watched you eat, the corner of his lips curved upwards. You roll your eyes and take the bottle from his side, pouring yourself another drink.

“Reached your limit already?” You teased, downing another shot and wiping the bit of alcohol that dripped over your chin. Johnny couldn’t help but to stare, blinking hard and shaking his head.

“I’m…” his head dropped. “Drunk.”

You laughed, passing the food towards him as you pushed him to eat, “eat! You can’t give up on me yet, we’ve only been here for two hours.”

“No. I want you to eat, get your meals in.”

“I’ve had maybe three meals here alone,” you mock, pushing his head up.

Johnny huffed, grabbing the bottle and pouring you another shot, “keep drinking. It’s not fair that I’m the only one drunk.”

“Are you mad that I can take liquor better than you?”

Johnny smiled and hummed, his hand resting on your thigh as he squeezed, “yeah. s’not fair.”

You bit your lip at the contact, pouting when you felt his hand remove itself to pick up his chopsticks and eat at your request.

Two more hours and at 2 am, the two of you stumbled out of the bar after you had paid the bill despite Johnny’s belligerence to pay. Both of you drunk out of your minds, you decide to walk to your apartment, which would be Johnny’s first time considering being months of friends.

Said man looked up at the tall building, his eyes narrowed and his mouth open wide, “are you rich?”

“Kind of. Keep walking.” You huffed, pushing the man towards the front door.

“How are you kind of rich?”

Finally arriving at your apartment, Johnny splayed himself on your living room floor, landing on his back with a grunt as he looked around your lofty apartment.

“This is really nice…I’m coming over more often,” he mumbled, “and it’s close to work.”

“That’s why I picked it.” You replied. You yawn and feel your head spin slightly as you kicked off your heels, walking to the living room to see Johnny lifting his hand up from the ground. You try pulling him up but he shook his head, pulling you down next.

“Lay down with me,” he said. You laughed, instead opting to sit on his lap as his fingers run up and down your sides.

It didn’t take long for the man to pull you into his chest, listening to his heart beat in his chest as his fingers trailed up your bare back. You could fall asleep like this, your eyelids already falling heavy as he wrapped his arms around your figure instead. You rested your chin on his chest, using your fingers to caress his lips as he pressed absentminded kisses on them. You blushed, unsure if it was from the alcohol racing through your blood or from something more. You decided to test the theory, inching closer as you hovered over him.

“Johnny?”

“Hmm?”

“Can…” you swallowed, “can I kiss you?”

You heard his heart speed up in his chest as he sat up with you in his lap, “what?”

You bit your lip as you feared you had overstepped your boundary. You shook your head, giving a sheepish smile before starting to get up from his lap, “nothing. It was stupid, sorry—“

“Yes you can kiss me,” he said quickly. He knew he would regret if he missed on the opportunity, his hands on your hips again as his lips hovered over yours. “Please kiss me.”

Your knees felt like jelly under you at his quiet beg. Your fingers threaded through his hair as your noses barely bumped against each other, feeling his breath on your lips.

“You won’t get mad at me tomorrow?” You asked, your forehead resting against his.

“The only reason I would get mad for kissing you is if I didn’t end up doing it,” he replied, his eyes scanning your face for doubt. “Do you not want to? We don’t…have to…”

You panic at the space that was getting bigger in between your faces, shaking your head as you pressed yourself closer, “I want to, Johnny. I really want to.”

“Kiss me then,” he said, his lips pressing against your cheek. “Kiss me, please.”

You press your lips against his, your toes curling as Johnny snaked his strong arms around your waist, your lips slotting together perfectly as you moan in his mouth. You pull away breathlessly, eyes dilated as you stared at the man in front of you.

“I like you, y/n,” he admitted, his cheeks flushed as his hands reached for yours. You swallow at the confession, allowing Johnny to thread his fingers with yours. “I really like you.”

You panicked as you weren’t sure if you returned the feelings. All you knew was that you loved the way your lips felt against his, the same way you liked his hands holding your own. You bit your lip, “Johnny…”

“You don’t have to like me back. I’m happy with just being here, with you. But I had to tell you because it would kill me if I didn’t.”

Truthfully, you had no idea how to respond. The only appropriate response was to press your lips against his again, not quite sure if you returned the feelings yet but being absolutely positive in knowing that you loved how he made you feel secure, safe, and...loved.

“Why?” You asked, confused as to why he wouldn’t pick a pretty secretary or another girl in the office. “Why me?”

“Because you’re special,” he replied simply. “You're strong, you’re beautiful, you’re talented and so smart that it blows me away. You blow me away.”

“I think I love you, actually,” he said in a tone that sounded like he was just now realizing it on his own. The word sent your heart into your throat.

“You....love...me?”

Johnny blinked, struggling to read your emotions before you kissed him yet again, this time pushing him onto the floor as you grasped his collar with your hands. He pulled away momentarily, holding your face with his hands as he looked you in the eye.

“Before I set myself up here,” he cleared his throat, “is it safe to assume you at least like me back?”

You laughed nodded your head before pecking his lips, “yes. It is.”

Johnny grinned before pulling you back in for a kiss.

It wasn’t the least bit responsible, nor was it the least bit safe but neither one of you seemed to care. You peeled your clothing off faster than Johnny could unbutton his shirt, staring at you as he finally managed to yank his shirt off.

He felt dizzy with lust upon seeing you completely naked under him, something he had only dreamt of up until this moment, as it was better than he could’ve ever imagined. His thumb ran over a nipple, his length twitching at the moan you let out before he pulled it, a mewl following as you spread you legs.

“You’re a dream,” he breathed, kissing his way from your chest to your belly button. “If i wake up i’m going to be so fucking pissed.”

You laugh, pulling his lips in as you kiss his jawline, “if it’s a dream then I’ll wake you up and we’ll do it again.”

“Fuck,” he groaned, pulling his pants off with great speed. “Now I’m hoping it’s a dream.”

You roll your eyes at the comment, waiting expectantly with a finger on your clit, running circles as he ran his hand up and down his length, spitting on your expectant folds and moaning at the lewdness of it all.

“You like that?” He grinned.

“It’s disgusting,” you breathed. “Yes. I do.”

It was his turn to laugh this time, kissing you again as he aligned his length with your entrance. His elbows rested on either side of your head, his lips finding purchase on your cheeks, forehead, and anywhere he could reach as he pushed himself inside. You threw your head back, his name falling from your lips as you squeezed his arm.

“Beautiful,” he sighed. “So fucking beautiful.”

“Can you...”

“Yes, baby?”

Your face burned at the pet name, “fuck me, Johnny. Make me cry.”

He shuddered, pulling his length out to shove it into your warmth without warning, watching you cry out as he repeated the same rhythm, his head spinning from the pleasure and how tight you were squeezing his cock.

“I dreamt...about you...” you admitted, fingers in your mouth. “Of your cock, fucking me, filling me up with cum—fuck, oh Johnny-“

“That makes two of us,” he moaned, his head falling in between his shoulders. You take advantage of this to push him on to his back again, watching his surprised face with a smile as you turn to face away from him. Johnny grabbed your ass in response, his massive hands pinching, slapping, and doing whatever he could as you sank on his length, using the floor as leverage as you bounced on his lap.

“Holy shit, y/n,” he groaned, his fingernails digging into your hips. “Shit—f-fuck-!”

You moan at his cock twitch inside you, filling you up promptly before pulling out to drip the same cum on his stomach and now flaccid member. You squeak out a yelp when you feel yourself being yanked on to what felt like a pair of lips, a tongue reaching in between your folds and eating you out feverishly as the same strong hands played with your nipples.

Johnny sucked at your labia and sucked at your clit, humming as he slurped both his cum and your essence into his mouth, stiffening his tongue against your clit as you came with a cry, your legs shaking above his face as you collapsed on his stomach, breathing heavily as he pressed to fingers inside.

“Wait-“ you moaned, your hand reaching for his as he continued to abuse your g-spot. Your legs trembled as your eyes rolled to the back of your head, pleading Johnny to pull his hand out before you came again. He made no effort to listen as another orgasm ripped through you, a scream falling from your lips as you squirted onto his chest, whimpering as your hole clenched around his index and ring finger, begging for more until he pulled said fingers out.

You fell on your stomach, sticky, sweaty, and dizzy as your pussy still twitched. You couldn’t help but to smile at the kisses being pressed down your back, tender lips against hot skin as Johnny rubbed your back.

“You okay?”

“More than okay,”you hummed. You stood on your legs shakily, forgetting that you weren’t exactly sober as you pulled at his hand. The taller man followed you to your bedroom, watching you fall against the sheets as you pulled him next to you.

“You don’t want to get cleaned up first?” He asked, his head situating in between your breasts.

“Nope,” you replied simply.

There was something about the way he fit in your arms that made you kiss him again, this time fuller as you took great care in moving your lips against his, making sure he felt every ounce of happiness from your end on his. It seemed to work by the way he smiled, kissing your forehead next.

You indulge each other in another rapid love making session, this time a bit shorter but still amazing as you came around him, shaking in his arms as he whispered praises in your ear. You both were exhausted by that point, Johnny falling asleep inside you as you drifted to sleep before he did.

When you woke up, it was with a pounding headache and sore joints, confused as to why you felt so sticky until you realized there was something inside you.

Something hard...and radiating quite a bit of heat.

“Johnny?” you whispered.

you faced the other man, smiling at his sleeping face as you leaned in to kiss him, morning breath be damned. he returned the kiss regardless, sighing dreamily as he accidentally pressed himself deeper inside you, a groan falling from his lips.

“thank god i wasn’t dreaming.”

“i told you that if you were dreaming we would just do it again.”

johnny’s eyes were still closed but a smile was on his lips, “can we do it anyway?”

“will you pay for breakfast?”

“mm, I suppose.” he said.

You laughed, wrapping your arms around his neck as his lips found purchase in the crook of your neck.

#Johnny request #but not really hehe #Johnny scenario #Johnny seo #seo youngho #youngho scenario #nct scenarios #nct fluff #nct 127 scenarios #nct 127 imagines #Johnny fluff #Johnny smut #youngho smut #nct 127 smut #nct smut

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haikyuuscreaming · 5 years ago

Note

hello!! can you write something fluff with kenma, please? some friends to lovers if possible. loving your blog 💕💕

OH SHIT SORRY FOR TAKING SO LONG SDFSDFJKD this is. 3.5k words roughly and im so sorry idk why my fics always come out longer than 1k words :(((

The first time you meet Kozume Kenma, he’s hiding behind the wall that is Kuroo Tetsurou and you’re both in your first year.

“Oh?” The Nekoma volleyball captain stares you down in the Chem class you share with him. “You’re [Surname]-san, right?”

“Yeah,” You say, never breaking eye contact with him but secretly eyeing the quiet boy behind him. He’s your classmate in a few other of your periods, but not this one. This class is an advanced Chemistry class, placing you conveniently with the second-years and a handful of equally smart first-years. “I need help with the homework and you’re my best bet. Could you help out?”

Kuroo narrows his eyes at you, which you don’t exactly appreciate but you don’t say anything. “You sure you don’t want me to just give answers?”

“I kinda need to understand this to pass the class, so no thanks.”

He hums in approval, like you’ve passed some test, and nods. “Sure thing. I wanted to teach Kenma this anyway.”

Oh, that’s his name… you think to yourself, and you noticed the mentioned Kenma doesn’t look up from his Nintendo Switch, even at the mention of his name. You watch Kuroo turn around to his companion, coercing him, “Kenma, get up, we’re learning Chem.”

“Can’t we do it later?” Kenma’s voice doesn’t hold anything akin to bitterness or complaint- it’s kind of devoid, actually, in a soft and cute way- and you try to tune out the sound of Kuroo scolding him but he’s so loud when he’s right next to you.

“C’mon, we’re about to go home now, we can stay after school a little longer. Plus, we get to teach this lovely lady about nuclei.”

“I’m right here, you know,” you roll your eyes lightly but before you know it, you’re defending Kozume-san. “We can always work it out, um… I dunno, maybe over lunch on Sunday? I mean, it is Friday and this thing’s due Monday and… we can have more fun studying this if we have food.”

Stupid fucking Kuroo only grins. “Oh, so you’re asking me on a date? Kinda bold, if I don’t say so myself, kouhai-chan.”

“Kuro, stop.” Kenma speaks up and his quiet voice somehow speaks volumes. “We can meet with her on Sunday to do it.” And just like that, he retreats to his Switch without another word.

Kuroo turns to you and shrugs indifferently, contrasting his previously provocative and shitfaced attitude. “The man’s laid down the law. How’s boba on Sunday sound?”

The second time you meet Kenma is on that promised study session.

He has inconspicuous earbuds in, his face illuminated by the glowing light of his DS. He has a DS, too? He still looks cute.

And there’s Kuroo of course, but he’s irrelevant to your case unless it has to do with your god forsaken chem homework.

“You want me to go order some drinks next door?” Kuroo quirks an eyebrow. “My treat.”

“Just a brown sugar milk tea, thanks,” You tell him gratefully. Thank god for men and their dead sense of chivalry.

“No boba? You’re crazy.” Kuroo scrunches his nose at you and you wish Kenma would start talking so you could avoid this big, annoying cat. “What about you, Kenma? Your usual?”

“Yeah,” is all Kenma says.

“Alright, see you nerds later,” Kuroo practically sings out, patting both of your heads like an old man, and takes something from Kenma that you don’t quite catch, but it makes Kenma glare at him.

As soon as Kuroo’s out of sight, you find it a little awkward to keep conversation with Kenma especially with his whole gamer complex, but-

Oh.

Kuroo took Kenna's DS.

“Kuroo-san’s pretty bothersome, huh,” you sigh out in an attempt to stir conversation. Lucky for you, Kenma goes along with the conversation without fight, his eyes peering over you like reflective pools of honey.

(They’re really pretty, you think.)

“Yeah,” Kenma slouches down a little bit more in his chair at the mention of his taller friend. “He’s kind of like my second mom… but not really. Always nagging me to do things.”

You laugh at his solemn, depressed answer. “It’s fun to have him around, though, right? He’s kind of funny sometimes-- the rest he’s annoying-- and he’s decently smart even though I’m pretty sure he’s got, what, three braincells.”

To your unprompted delight, Kenma laughs softly at you poking fun of Kuroo, and the conversation between you and him starts piling up into more, and more, and it all feels so short. You don’t even notice Kuroo coming back and hovering over the table.

“Eh? You and Kenma getting along without me? What a shame, you know. I really do get third-wheeled.” Kuroo lets out a wistful sigh akin to an old man and sits down, drinks in hand. “So, who’s ready to study?”

The third time you meet Kozume Kenma, it’s at your mall’s arcade.

You and your friends are playing one of those claw machines, trying to get that really cute Miku figurine and those adorable plushies, wasting all your coins on these sucker games like the dumb teenagers you are. But a glimpse of familiar, two-toned hair catches your eye.

“Hold on,” you tell your friends who’re still busy trying to get that stupidly gorgeous Sakura Miku figure. “I’m gonna be right back.”

You wander your way to the familiar head of hair, and gratefully, your instinct was right. “Kozume-san? What’re you doing here?”

Kenma practically jumps at the sound of your voice, turning around, eyes wide. “Oh. I just got lost from the team. You’re here too?”

“Mhm,” You smile, pointing at your screaming group of friends. “My friends and I are here just to chill out and have fun. You can hang with us if you want!”

He shakes his head, his hair gracefully framing his face. “Nah, I’m fine, thanks.. I’ll just hold out until Kuro sniffs me out or something.”

You furrow your brow- geez, this kid’s gonna get lost so fast-- and you gently clasp the phone he’s holding in his hand. “Can I give you my number? I’ll pick up immediately if you ever call, just give a ring.”

You fail to notice the surprise that flits over Kenma’s face, but he reluctantly hands you his phone and you tap in your number quickly. “See you around, Kozume-san. Don’t get into trouble.”

And Kenma smiles on his own accord, his face lighting up softly like a lamp under moonlight. “You too.”

The fourth time you meet Kozume Kenma, he’s at your house working on an Japanese Lit assignment.

“Oh? Kozume-kun!” You’re pleasantly surprised when your teacher pairs the two of you up. “Nice to talk with you again.”

“Yeah, “ Kenma blinks a little awkwardly and he shyly grins, which you find even more stunning than it already is because he’s usually held up such a calm, unaffected facade. “Uh. So do you want to meet up at… your house for this? So we can do the project.”

“Oh, yeah,” You wave dismissively, beaming at him because this is your chance to get closer with him. “My little brother’s a nuisance, though, so he might bother us. I hope you don’t mind?”

“No problem.. you can text me the address, because… yeah.” You find it cute how Kenma doesn’t want to mention that the two of you have been texting a lot more lately, and the slightest blush tints his cheeks.

“Of course!”

Flash to your house, the two of you are on the floor, slaving over a giant posterboard with paint and art supplies scattered about.

“I hate making movie posters, it’s so tiring…” You groan out, trying to paint Yukio Mishima’s face with the utmost care. “And this book’s so creepy… why would we wanna make a poster of it? He commits seppuku!”

Kenma grins a little bit and he looks really cute, with his hair tied up in the back and his gaze focused on the painting at hand. “You’re so easily grossed out.”

“But he made it so detailed! You're immune ‘cause you play all those gross horror games.”

He laughs quietly, and you think you're going to heaven. “You couldn't even handle Ao Oni, stop.”

You scowl at the mention of Kenma’s dumb horror games. “He’s this weird deformed grape, okay?? It was kinda scary!”

The two of you end up nowhere near finishing your poster, and you collectively decide to put it off for maybe another day. The rest of your day is spent-- c-cuddling? (no hetero, you reassured Kenma, although you were thinking otherwise)-- and playing more horror games, much to your chagrin.

(But it gave you a reason to hug Kenma tighter.)

You can’t even count the amount of times you’ve met up with Kenma now. You’re in your second-year of high school now and your bond with him as only strengthened.

He invited you eventually to walk to school with him, along with Kuroo, and you find out that it was Kuroo’s coaxing to do so. But you’re still delighted that Kenma agreed on, what, the second time Kuroo nagged him about it?

You and Kenma have gotten fairly close. You’ve vented to him, cried to him, he’s shown his emotional side, too. You’ve even gotten a little closer to Nekoma’s god, Kuroo Tetsurou (to which your friends always complain about- “you can’t take all the cute guys for yourself”). But, in your opinion, the most important part is that you’ve been getting closer to Kozume Kenma, who you once thought would always just be the quiet classmate to you. Who would always be your unattainable, close-guarded crush.

"Kenma!” You yell out, rushing over to him with your backpack practically bouncing off of you with each step. “Wait up, would you?! How do you get out of class so quick??”

"I was waiting for you either way,” Kenma mumbles and hunches his shoulders together. “Do you wanna go to my house? I have new games and Kuroo won't be bothering us.”

“Can’t we get snacks first?” You know you sound a little bit whiny, but you’re hungry as fuck, and Kenma’s smiling either way.

“I guess.. you’re paying, though.”

“That isn’t fair at all!”

Eventually the two of you walk to your nearest 7/11 and get chips and snacks before leaving promptly, with you holding your chocolate milk and Kenma sipping apple juice. The walk to his house is full of conversation, Kenma equally engaged as you are. But as soon as you arrive at his front doorstep, the hollow noise of an empty apple juice box makes its appearance.

“You drink your juice too fast!” You tease Kenma lightly as he frowns, unlocking the door.

“You just drink too slow,” he replies and shoulders the door open. The two of you make your way inside and flop onto the couch, Kenma crouching near the TV to boot up his newest game. “Damn. I’m still thirsty, too.”

“Language, Kenma,” You chide him, throwing a pillow at him as soon as he sits down next to you on the couch. “And-” it takes every ounce of your willpower not to turn bright red. “-do you want some of my chocolate milk?”

The silence that follows is very short (probably only, what, a second or two?), but it feels like hours of painful quiet. Kenma blinks at you and the pink that dusts his ears becomes more and more prominent each second.

“Yeah… sure,” Kenma finally says and you beam so wide that you’re sure not even the sun could battle the brightness of your happiness right now. You hand him your nearly untouched chocolate milk and his fingers brush against yours as he takes it, sipping at it cautiously like he was afraid something would happen.

(Oh my god he’s so cute.. he looks so cute… he’s drinking my chocolate milk!! He’s so-)

“Oi, Kenma! My mom told me to pick up some tomatoes from y-” The door bursts open to reveal Kuroo Tetsurou.

You freeze, since Kuroo just witnessed you passing a chocolate milk box to Kenma and the latter sipping at the straw. Kenma kind of flushes, his mouth still wrapped around the plastic straw with chocolate milk halfway up.

“Eh? Sharing drinks now?” Kuroo tsks and shakes his head, a smirk gracing his stupidly arrogant face. “You know, you two could get mono. Or any other communicable diseases. Kinda risky, you know?”

“Kuroo, stop!” You’re wildly embarrassed to be caught in this not-so-platonic situation (in your opinion, at least), before Kuroo lets out a hearty laugh.

“You know, that’s an indirect kiss!”

“Didn’t I say stop?!”

“Ah, youth. Indirect kisses! You put your mouth on the straw, then he did. Romance at its finest!”

You know, deep inside, Kuroo just likes to rile you up, but you still bite the bait. “Kuroo, shut up, please??”

And Kenma speaks up for the first time during the whole banter. “Kuro, the tomatoes are on the kitchen table. Go.”

The Nekoma captain quirks an eyebrow before shrugging and heading towards the kitchen. “Thanks. Don’t do anything risky.”

“Kuroo!”

You and Kenma awkwardly glance at each other-- you note he’s still sipping your chocolate milk-- and eventually he stands off to ward Kuroo off (who keeps chuckling for no goddamn reason).

You two are alone again, and his burnt-gold eyes stare into yours.

“Did Kuro bother you?” His ears are still pinkish, but you notice that he’s still comfortable, although you can see a sheen of sweat starting to form on his face.

“Nah... “ You force your voice to stay level. “Why does he keep doing this?? God, he’s so annyoing sometimes… it isn’t like- it isn’t like we’re dating or anything.” God fucking damn stuttering.

Kenma’s eyes widen for a fraction of a millisecond, and you almost miss it, before he clears his throat. “Yeah. Not like that at all.. let’s just go back to playing.”

The atmosphere morphs into the usual, playful one that is held between the two of you, and you’re becoming proud of how much better Kenma is at redefining conversations and shifting the mood whereas in the beginning he would struggle in topic changes.

You’re so proud of him.

(And you’re kind of in love with him.)

You have a group chat with Kuroo and Kenma, unsurprisingly.

It’s, what, midnight on a school day, and the three of you are texting. Kuroo offers a game of ‘truth or dare’, and you accept out of sheer boredom. Plus, dares are so much easier to do online because you can fake nearly anything.

kuroo >:/: kenma truth or dare

kenma :): i’m not playing

YOU: yea you are !! ur not getting out of this

kenma :): fine

don’t say anything stupid though

kuroo >:/: so whats it gonna b???

Kenma takes a good ten seconds to respond.

kenma :): truth.

kuroo >:/: you got a crush on anyone?

YOU: oooh spicy

kenma :): kuro why

Your heart races a little bit at the comment.

YOU: oh? kenma i thought we were besties :(( why wouldnt u tell me

kenma :): it isn’t that….

kuro you already know why are you asking me that here

kuroo >:/: for my favorite kouhai [name]-chan

YOU: fuck off kuroo we all know im ur fav bc i pay for ur boba

kuroo >:/: fair

You get impatient with Kuroo’s mindless banter, so you end up texting Kenma privately.

YOU: so who is ur crush????

kenma :): why do you assume i have one

YOU: i mean….u wouldve denied it if u didnt have one?

He leaves you on seen for two minutes and you’re about to text him and complain but his reply shoots back.

kenma :): it’s you

And your heart doesn’t skip a beat. No, it just beats even faster.

The blood is rushing to your face, you can feel it, and a smile tugs at your face subconsciously. Your brain’s running a mile a minute, and you’re so outrageously shocked and unprepared that the aftermath of it all hits you just about a minute later.

(What if he’s lying? What if someone made him say that? What if-)

YOU: fr?

YOU: kenma dont mess w me

kenma :): i’m not

kenma :): you wanted to know so yeah. it’s you

kenma :): i like you and idk kuro says it’s “more than just like” and maybe he’s right

kenma :): see u at school tmr

YOU: WAIT KENMA COME BACK ???

You cute little rat, you seeth internally, happiness still radiating off of you. Is this a dream? Oh my god. Kozume Kenma likes me.

… Kozume Kenma feels the same way I feel about him.

The next day, you anxiously wait for Kenma at your doorstep. You even woke up early and had gotten ready as soon as you could, just so you could catch Kenma ASAP.

You slept surprisingly well, despite your anxiety from Kenma, and your body was filled with energy. You check your phone every two minutes, glancing at his ��good morning text’ and praying for another one.

kenma :))): gm i’m still walking to school with u if you want… i’ll pass by your house just in case

YOU: oh!!!! yea id love to walk to school w u :))

Silence fills your ears as you anxiously pace back and forth from your doorstep to the curb of your neighborhood. You can’t help but worry as your gaze flits across every house, begging for a sign of Kenma.

(What if you’re too late, you realize in panic. What if your efforts weren’t enough?)

But then the sound of quiet-paced footsteps snaps you out, and you look up to see Kenma, standing in front of your house, an adorably shy expression painted across his face.

“Kenma!” You hate how your voice comes out kind of squeaky and high-pitched but you don’t care right now. You practically launch off of your doorstep and bound toward him, settling by his side.

He gives you a shy, adoring look but you can see the anxiety in his eyes as he points forward in the direction of Nekoma. “We can talk while walking, right?”

You smile breathlessly and your fingers brush against his. He smiles at you, and you notice the same pink dusting his ears like when he was sharing chocolate milk with you.

Two hands intertwine and the conversation begins.

You’re in your third year of college now, out on a “boys (and girl) night out”, as Kuroo deemed it.

Kenma’s got it well-made for him, striking good on his company to which you supported him through the entire time, and Kuroo’s on his way to be the scientist he’s always dreamed of being even as a nerdy-jock kid. He claims he’s practically a professional volleyball player, too, just on the side, but both you and Kenma know better.

You and Kenma have been dating ever since your second-year in high school. Which makes it just about… four-ish years now that you’ve been dating.

(Kuroo claims that in your first-year, you and Kenma were basically dating each other spiritually, but you pay him no mind.)

The three of you are out on the beach on an autumn day. It’s pretty empty, despite the warm evening sun that casts a golden shine on the sand and ocean, so you’re all making epic sandcastles in peace.

“We should make a moat,” Kuroo says, already digging out a ring around the lopsided sandcastle.

“We haven’t even finished the castle itself!” You protest, pushing him lightly as you use your other hand to pat down the base of the castle.

Kenma packs sand into a small bucket and delicately places it on top of the half-finished sand “castle” to make a tower. You find it cute how he’s the only one putting in decent effort, so you help him out by packing in another bucket of sand. “Kuro would be a terrible architect,” Kenma comments.

“You right, you right,” You sigh out while Kuroo squawks in protest. Kenma leans on you, out of instinct you think, and you kiss the top of his head gently. Kuroo covers his eyes and complains about his youth and young love before Kenma haphazardly bumps into you. Which leads to the sand castle collapsing.

“Ah- Kenma!” you cry out in panic, sweeping the sand together in a half-hearted attempt to piece it back into a cohesive castle. “Be careful!”

“No, look,” he says quietly, a small smile gracing his face.

“You worked so hard on the base too, to make it big and flat- oh?” You sit up a little bit when you see a small velvet box in the middle of the sand pile.

Kuroo gasps very loudly and you stare at Kenma in shock.

Oh my god. What’s happening, what’s happening, oh my god-

You slowly reach out for the box in the middle of the mess and take it delicately, brushing off the sand clinging to it. Your fingers pry it open with shaking fingers and you feel Kenma place his hand on your arm gently, his gorgeous honey eyes staring at you. The same honey eyes you fell in love with.

You're also in love with the gorgeous, sparkling amber ring that sits in the middle of the cushioned box.

“[Name]. I want to be married. To you. Will you marry me?” Kenma’s voice is soft and sweet but you know with the convincing sureness in his voice that he’s been practicing this line for at least a month and he’s become confident in it.

You start crying immediately (god damn it, you think to yourself) your heart blooming with joy and your entire body feels like it’s about to explode of pure happiness.

You kiss him, full on the lips with tears streaming down your face and he kisses back, his arms wrapping around you and you realize he’s crying too. With the possibly happiest voice you’ve ever used in your life, you cry out, “Of course I will!” on the beach with Kuroo clapping in the background.

Two years later on that beach, you two become the happiest couple on Earth.

#kenma kozume x reader #kozume kenma x reader #kenma kozume #kozume kenma #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu #hq x reader

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intricate-oeuvre · 5 years ago

Text

say it before you run out of time || B. Hardy || part II

part I part II part III part IV part V part VI part VII part VIII part IX part X part XI part XII part XIII

Word count: 2k

Summary: Ben and the reader have been friends since childhood. And along the way reader falls in love with him. But it might be too late when another girl shows up claiming that she’s his girlfriend.

Warnings: none, horrible writing tho, puppy overload

A/n: huge thank you to all of you who enjoyed the first part! <3 sorry from answering from my main (@saint-hardy) . also tell me if you want to be tagged into future chapters

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Girlfriend??? It rang in your ears.

“Pardon, what?” You tried to compose yourself as lump formed in your throat.

“We have been dating for two months now. Well, he doesn’t want to label it just yet nor to go public about it, but I feel he wants more.” She smiled and looked around. That didn’t sound like Ben.

“Oh, really?” Your voice cracked. Were you too late? Thousand thoughts were running through your mind at the moment. You looked around as tears gathered in your eyes, but you didn’t let them fall.

“Yes. He’s really amazing man… He told me a lot about you.” Nina said the last part with distaste while putting her bag on the living rooms sofa and taking a look around the room.

“He did mention that you might swing around sometime.” Nina said while she checked the photos on the wall. Some polaroids and printed pictures with friends, family, his dog and even you.

“And..?” you asked, feeling that something was coming.

“Nothing. When are you leaving?” Nina turned to you with serious look on her face.

“Tomorrow. Why?” You asked, carefully assessing her. Feeling that you might need to go back to the dorms.

“No reason. Don’t you have like dorms to go and studies to do? Homework? Something?” Nina asked. You could feel that she was not the friendliest type of people.

“I have enough time to do those.” You crossed your arms. Trying to calm down.

“Ben gave you a spare key?” You asked nodding towards the door.

“I wondered the same thing. Of course, he did.” Nina said looking you up and down. The fact that Ben had given you his spare key made you felt special, but not anymore as it seemed.

“I’m here to surprise him when he comes here tomorrow. Show me where is his room.” Nina said looking pass you.

“I’ll better show you guest room.” You said with distaste.

“So, you can take his?” Nina scoffed.

“So, you don’t make mess before he arrives.” You could bite too if you wanted to. And sofa in the living room didn’t look too bad.

“I would advise to watch your tongue before I call him and ask you to leave.” Nina said as she went in the guest room you had showed her.

“Sure. You do that.” You mumbled so she couldn’t hear.

Rest of the evening was silent between you two. She seemed like really possessive person. And jealous of you. She had occupied the guest room as her closet and migrated to Ben’s room to watch TV. You were sure she was planning on staying in both rooms. With slight roll of your eyes you reached under one of the sofas and pulled out a blanket and a pillow. Slipping on Ben’s sweater over your head you nestled on one of the sofas. Too lazy to push the glass coffee table out of the way and pull out the sofa, you tried to fall asleep.

But the only thoughts that filled your mind where those of Ben and all the good time you two had shared. You stared at the ceiling, hoping that your mind would stop running in circles. Tucking the blanket around your chest you reached for your phone. Checking your IG, your dating apps that you hardly used and only usually checked when you were drunk. And you scrolled through your messages. Your group chat Booty Hunters 69/420 with Maddie and Rose seemed appropriate.

y/n: You guys up?

mAdDie: What happened?

y/n: Ben has gf…

mAdDie: WHAT

mAdDie: THE

mAdDie: ACTUAL

mAdDie: FUCK???

ROSAlinda: what? i’ll beat his stupid ass for real

After that you didn’t answer the texts, just let them roll in and shush your friends that you’ll somehow manage. Then you scrolled list and looked at Ben’s contact. Tapping on his name you let your fingers hover over the keyboard. This wasn’t the first time you had been staring at his contact like this. Letting your fingers slide across the screen you started typing.

y/n: im sorry if this wakes you up. But its 1:34 here and all I can think about is you…

You glanced at the text and instead of hitting send, you deleted it, and throwing your phone on the ground, went to bed.

You woke up some time later from someone’s whispers and shuffling near the front door. You quietly sat up, still covered by blanket and glanced behind the sofa to make sure that it wasn’t Nina walking around, but both bedroom doors were closed.

“Shhh… You’re going to wake up Nina, Frankie…” you heard a deep voice whisper near the door. Then the small lamp near the front door lit up. Emitting small glow around the door area. You fucking knew that voice everywhere.

“Ben?” you asked, your voice still full with sleep. He wasn’t supposed to be here until tomorrow afternoon. Did you accidentally hit send to that message?

Upon hearing your voice, Ben froze.

“Y/n?” your name escaped him in a small gasp.

“Am I dreaming?” you mumbled to yourself as you rubbed your eyes.

“Why are you…? If I had known… You’re not dreaming. Hello.” He seemed puzzled but then softly greeted you, stepping closer. You furrowed your brows for a second, munching on what he said. Shit, it was him!

“Ben!” You gasped, jumping off the sofa and sprinting to him, just to crush your body to his.

“I fucking missed you!” you mumbled as your hands wrapped around him.

“Missed you too, sweetheart.” Ben said fondly as his hands went around your waist and picked you up from the ground to capture you in bone crushing hug. For a moment both of you enjoyed each other’s closeness. Stealing that feeling of home that you associated with each.

He gently let go of you and in that moment, Ben realised that you weren’t fully decent. You were only wearing panties and sweater. Without a bra. HIS sweater. Looking you up and down, he tilted his head while biting his lip:

“Lovely number you have going on here.” He grinned.

“What?” you looked down at yourself.

“Shit! Fuck!” you rushed to your bag to grab some shorts.

“Relax. And besides, it looks better on you anyways.” Ben was referencing the sweater and chuckled at your frantic movements. So, he totally knew it was his sweater. Cool.

“Someone wants to meet you, y/n.” Ben said when he heard small whine behind himself. He had finally taken his pup with him. And you were too excited to finally meet the beagle girl he talked so much about.

“She’s here with you?” You smiled like child.

“Of course.” He turned around and urged Frankie to come closer to you.

“Oh, god! She’s so lovely!” you couldn’t stop laughing as the pup gave you kisses.

“Look, she likes you.” Ben smiled and kneeled beside you two.

“What the fuck is going on here?” Both of you heard tired voice from the hall.

“Nina.” Ben was up and looking at her. If you were allowed to guess then you would say that he didn’t seem so thrilled to see her here.

“Boo? You are here?” Nina’s voice turned into unnatural squeak.

“Hey, Nina.” Ben smiled at her as the named girl rushed to hug him and give him kiss on the lips. Awkwardly clearing his throat, Ben pulled away from her.

“It seems you two have already met.” He said looking from Nina to you, but letting his eyes stay on you.

“Yeah, she’s a nice girl. And it seems you have brought your little pet too.” Nina said with smile, looking at Frankie who was excitedly wiggling her tail next to you.

“Yeah, I know you’re not a fan of Franksta here, but I couldn’t leave her behind.” Ben said apologetically.

“Nonsense. It’s alright until she sleeps in different room.” Nina smiled at him and laid her head on his shoulder. With small nod he agreed.

“Come to bed, boo. You must be tired.” Nina pulled on his arm.

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll be there in a second.” He kissed her cheek.

“Don’t make me wait.” Nina winked at him and went down the hall.

“Sorry about that.” Ben shuffled awkwardly.

“It’s alright.” You smiled and looked down at Frankie. Still trying to process the fact that he had a girlfriend now. You had no idea how to bring this up. What do you even do in such situation?

“Why are you sleeping here in the living room, I have a perfect guest bedroom that you have never turned down before.” He gestured to the back.

“That’s Nina’s.” You said and petted the pup.

“You know you could just sleep in mine then.” He leaned back against the back of the sofa.

“That’s Nina’s too now.” You said straightening. Ben furrowed his eyebrows.

“Guest room sort of is her walk-in closet now. And I think she sleeps in yours.” You shrugged explaining.

“You could have just said something to her.” He smiled.

“I don’t think that she’s a fan of me either.” You sighed, looking at Frankie with whom you now had something in common.

“Don’t be silly.” Ben’s smile faltered.

“It’s alright, Ben. Your expensive sofas are enough.” You reassured, patting his shoulder.

“I think there might be a horny girlfriend that waits for you.” You tried to joke and not sound hurt. For you it hurt more than it made you laugh.

“Don’t even start. I rather stay with you here that deal with that.” Ben said and walked around the sofa to sit.

“Tired, huh?” You whispered.

“Jetlagged as hell.” He corrected.

“Ben?!” Both of you heard Nina’s voice from bedroom. With roll of his eyes, Ben sighed. You rested your forearms on the back of the sofa and looked at Ben. You quietly admired how he looked even if he was jetlagged. His messy hair, the dark hoodie, the way he sat with resting his elbows on his knees.

“How did- How did you meet—You know, the girlfriend Nina thing...?” You somehow tried to word it, but it only came out as weak whisper. You leaned down, now resting your chin on the sofa’s back.

“At one dinner after shooting. Somehow, she stuck around.” Ben sighed and leaned back, his head laying close to yours as his eyes bore into the ceiling, just like yours couple hours earlier.

“What about it?” He asked turning his head to look at you. His breath hitting your cheek now. You didn’t answer, feeling that your voice would give away how you truly feel, so you only shook your head.

“There’s something wrong.” Ben said as his eyes flickered around the side of your face.

“Is there?” You tried to sound uninterested.

“Yeah.” Ben sat up straight and turned to you.

“Don’t want to talk about it.” You said and walked around the sofa to pet Frankie and distract yourself.

“Is it about Nina? Because I know-” Ben started, but you interrupted him with a hiss:

“I said I don’t want to talk about it! Not now, please.” At the end you seemed almost desperate. With small nod, Ben didn’t say a word.

“Can I leave Frankie here with you?” He pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Of course.” You scooped the pup in your arms. The dog nuzzled the sweater with her nose.

“Even she knows it’s my sweater.” Ben chuckled, trying to lighten up the mood.

“Sorry, I’ll give it back.” You apologized.

“Nah, keep it.” He stepped closer and pulled the collar of the sweater on your nose.

“Goodnight, y/n.” Ben said with tired smiled. He leaned down and pressed his lips to Frankie’s head, keeping his eyes locked with yours.

“Be good.” He said to his dog and left you there with his sweater over your nose and his dog in your arms. Only now you realised how much the sweater smelled of him.

“Goodnight, Ben…” You whispered and readied to the bed again. Mentally saying to yourself to get to sleep because he wasn’t even thinking about you.

~~~~~~~~~~

tags: @brianandthemays @queen-turtle-boiii @rogahloveshiscar @radiob-l-a-hblah @scarsout @sara-1705 @babydazz

#ben hardy #ben hardy imagine #ben hardy fanfic #ben hardy x reader #friends to lovers #bohemian rhapsody #mary shelley #xmen #woman in white #sibyroot series #part two #ben hardy x you #ben hardy x oc #ben hardy x y/n

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loverknj · 7 years ago

Text

miss, 12:01 am [knj]

‘Because missing someone you’re mad at is absolute hell.’

Pairing: Kim Namjoon X Reader

Warnings: minor angst and slight fluff at the end

Word count: 1.75 k words

When you find yourself saying that certain phrase again, you can’t help but mentally reprimand and scowl at yourself as you steal a glance at the clock. Because it was only 8:47 in the morning, and you have already mumbled: “I don’t miss kim namjoon.” to yourself, for the 8th time today.

As if mumbling it to yourself more would somehow, magically brainwash you into thinking that yes, you really don’t miss him when deep down you know you do.

You miss him. You miss him. You miss him.

You miss him when you shouldn’t even be thinking about him at all. “You’re supposed to be mad at him, remember?”, you groaned. ‘Remember that fight last night? Be mad at him! Don’t miss him. Don’t miss his stupid face and stupid dimples.’

Don’t miss him because it’s already been a day and there’s not even a text or missed call. Don’t miss him because he was the one who started that stupid fight. Don’t miss him because he’s not here, when he should be. Don’t miss him just because you shouldn’t.

But even if the continuous ‘you shouldn’t’s and ‘don’t’s, your heart and mind still manages to find a way to navigate towards your kim namjoon.

You shouldn’t miss him. But you do.

------

You know you miss him when you’re getting ready in the bathroom.

When you accidentally spot his toothbrush lying lazily in your cup from the corner of your eye, uncoincidentally facing away from yours. And that’s when you find yourself frowning at it but before you could even fathom what was going on, your limbs had already taken action and you find yourself already placing your toothbrush far away from his, snickering a ‘Let’s see what a little distance can do to you.’ to it.

But you miss him more 10 minutes in, when you are in the shower, and you unknowingly find yourself using his musky body wash instead of yours. You had initially blew it off as a slip, that you hadn’t meant to use the bottle which was far away from your usual body wash, but despite your initial annoyance at yourself, you eventually crumble and allow yourself to sniff in his scent, pretending just for a second that he is right beside you.

By the time you left the bathroom, you had let out a bitter ‘Stupid kim namjoon’ under your breath, but the way you put your toothbrush back in its place, next to his seems to say otherwise, along with how you whispered ‘he is already so far away from me, let’s make my toothbrush suffer like how i am right now’ to yourself.

You know you miss him when you’re driving because you are reminded of him once again when you find yourself switching off the radio in lightning speed as a more than familiar tune comes on, the exact same tune you were the first listener to, even before Min Suga because the creator himself had wanted your opinion on it first.

You had been seated in your favourite spot in MonStudio: Namjoon’s lap when a pair of headphones had placed on you, along with a peck on the back of your head as he gently whispered a “have a listen to this, love.”

And as the soft melody flooded through your ears and namjoon’s voice drowned you, the way the owner of that voice was leaving you with little kisses and soft squeezes with his arms around you as you listened, doesn’t goes unnoticed.

By the time you were done, there were tears in your eyes and the song had left speechless due to how good it was. It was a soothing melody that you could go to sleep listening to, but whose lyrics spoke so much you’d cry relating to.

“It’s-” you sniffled, “it’s so good I can’t even find words, joon. I’m so so so proud of you… I-I…”

You had wanted to say more, told him about how his song took you down the memory lane, made you miss the people you lost, how it made you nostalgic, how you could listen to it every second of the day. But you couldn’t because of how choked up you were and he understood. He understood how you felt as he chuckled and just hugged you tighter against him, watching as your wiped away your tears.

He understood clearly just by how you pressed your lips against his, and he couldn’t help but mumble “I love you” between his uneven breaths.

Spring Day was your absolute favourite, but right now you had wanted nothing more than to curse at the radio DJ for playing that song on a day like this. Because in the screaming silence that you now sit in, you are once again drowning as namjoon’s voice burns a hole in your heart. ‘I miss you. Saying this makes me miss you more’.

I miss you. Yes, i miss you.

But where are you now, joon- ah?

You know you miss him when you’re in your usual seat in Caffeinated.

It was just like any Saturday, a cup of warm vanilla on your left, the fairy lights of Caffeinated glowing brightly above you, your laptop sitting on the table but the only thing missing was the man who would always sit right in front of you with his cup of americano.

It was a tradition for Joon and you to be in Caffeinated every Saturday, where you would work on your computer while he reads and steals little glances at you. And so, you find yourself staring at your lockscreen for far too long as you are stricken by the urge to either text or call him. But your stubbornness got the best of you and you find yourself just sat there, staring at a picture of kim namjoon with his famous dimpled smile.

And when your hand hovers over the power button, you hesitate. Thoughts of there being a probability of him calling or texting you invading, so you just throw your phone aside, and groan into your hands before continuing on the work in your hands again.

You miss him. You really do.

You know you miss him by the time you’re leaving the cafe.

As you find yourself once again cursing at yourself when you almost end up buying an extra slice of cake and a coffee for namjoon, like you always do on the days he couldn’t make it on your coffee dates. But once the reality of your cold war sinks in, you are upset all over again.

Because he was not here.

Why did you both even fight. What did you even fight about, you can’t remember.

And if asked do you regret it, you’d undoubtedly say yes. A million times yes.

You know you miss him at the end of the day.

When you had whisper “who needs Kim Namjoon?” to yourself as you lied on his side of the bed, dressed only in his sweater and a pair of undies with your laptop playing a v live next to you.

Kim Namjoon’s V live, more specifically.

Which you had initially hesitated to watch when a notification from v app blinked at you at 9:45 p.m., the exact time when you and joon would usually facetime, making you freeze. The initial fear and reluctance of clicking in had faded away the first second you laid your eyes on him, because your breath is taken away as there sits the person you are craving for, kim namjoon, in the flesh, wearing his a black hoodie, talking with armys about a new song while eating takeout in monstudio with tired eyes.

‘He’s been skipping his meals again I see’ you’d commented to yourself and as you continue to scan through him in detail, you had come to notice that he seems distracted, and has been fiddling his rings and sighing too much despite the facade he tries to put on for the fans.

Maybe it’s the way you know him too well, but you could tell that he has putting himself through hell and misses you dearly too, which was confirmed a few minutes later.

“Why am i eating now? Is it supper?” he read from a comment from a fan and chuckled.

“No, this is dinner and...lunch?” he slurps another mouthful of food as he skims through the worried comments piling up. “Don’t worry, guys. I usually eat on time and Im not overworking myself. It’s just that I completely lost track of time today and forgot.”

“I usually have this… reminder, which tells me to take care of myself, and my meals on time but it… it isn’t working today,” He hummed.

“Did you break it oppa? Kekeke” a fan asked and you notice the way his pupils dilate and how he tried to blinked his shocked expression away. He let out a nervous chuckle, “...I really hope I didn’t break it. It means far too much for me.”

The way he rubs his neck nervously doesn’t slip past through your eyes, “I like to think of it just having a vacation day? That time will heal. I really hope it is okay.”

You. You. You.

You knew he was talking about you. You were his reminder, who would always call or text or show up at his studio to check up on him and cheer him on; but due to the fight, the reminders stopped, or in namjoon’s terms, you were having ‘a vacation day’ and you know it’s killing him.

So, why are we doing this to each other, joon ah.

You know you miss him in the middle of the night, at 12:01 a.m..

When he’s by your side, in your bed, letting out ragged breaths, as you both just lay there staring at one another. No words were exchanged in the dark silence but it was those type of silence which meant everything.

He had come in hours after his v live, entering your bed, and arms at once. No questions or answers were needed and the anger and distraught feelings you initially had when you first saw him immediately evaporated when he caged you in his arms and refused to let you go.

Each pat on your head, each ‘i’m sorry. I’m an idiot’, each small peck on your lips, each ‘i missed you’ whisper, each ‘ i love you’, each gentle squeeze he gave reminded that you were now finally home.

I missed you too, joon ah.

#sorry if its shitty #namjoon #kim namjoon #bts #bangtan #bts RM #bts imagines #bts fic #boyfriend namjoon #boyfriend joon #bts fluff #namjoon fluff #bts smut #bts reactions #bts scenario #bts au #boyfriend bangtan

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5soscon-blog · 7 years ago

Text

Connor Murphy x Self harm reader

hi ! This quite obviously isn’t the best or good at all but I tried. ❗️Trigger warning! Self harm, possible suicidal thoughts. Also cussing.❗️

*imagine its 3 am during this part alright? Thanks:)*

That itch that stupid itch the unscratchable kind. Of course, 3 in the fucking morning this happens. Three hours till you wake up for school, four and a half till you leave, and five until school starts. You told yourself you’d stop. But now, not doing it seems absolutely impossible. You could text Connor, he wouldn’t know but he’d be able to distract you even if for five minutes. But what if he’s asleep? What if you wake him up?

•texts to Connor. You = italics Connor = normal

Connor?

Yeah?

Oh you’re awake

Well, yeah. Connor Murphy, the vampire boy who never sleeps. Ring a bell? Anyways, why are you up?

Can’t sleep, not feeling well

You home alone?

You know my parents. Of course I’m home alone idiot

Just asking fucker. I’m coming over.

Connor fucking Murphy you stay in bed and you try to sleep. I’m fine, I’ll make it to morning

You sure? If you need me I can come over, what do you mean by ‘not feeling well’ anyways, you sick? I can skip tomorrow if you are and come over.

nononono im just not doing well I guess. Mentally? If that makes sense? I sound crazy wow uh

I get what you mean. I didn’t know you were like, depressed though.

I wouldn’t say I am. Just I guess feel more spaced out and heavier then usual

I’m here. Wanna talk? Me coming over still stands btw.

i don’t know. I guess The only way I can describe it is like feeling dead. Heavy & empty. Spaced out. And no don’t come over. I think I’m going to turn off my phone. I’m sorry for bothering you. Talk at school?

y/n. You’d never bother me. Don’t ever fucking think that. I’ll see you tomorrow at school. Don’t do anything too stupid. Goodnight <3

wow Connor Murphy sending me a heart? What is this? My death day? And goodnight.

don’t joke like that y/n, I don’t know what I’d do without you.

Y/n, I do know what you mean though. Feeling unreal. Like you’re sinking kind of. You don’t sound crazy. Stay safe please don’t do anything stupid.

*out of texting!*

Icanticanticanticanticanticant

The second you stopped texting Connor the urge was stronger. Why? Why you? Why now? ‘I have to do this. Hoodies are a thing yeah, I can hide them. My thighs are full. I don’t want to open old ones. Or maybe I do. No new scars. Fuck stop just do it’ you thought as you opened your nightstand, grabbing the blade that was taped at the back of the drawer.

Shakily you grabbed the razor blade and brought it towards your forearm, still shaking you hovered above it. Slowly, you placed it on your arm and slid, a few times at least 6. Relief. You felt better almost instantly. Tired. No sleep. Not yet. ‘I have to clean them. Then I’ll sleep.’ You thought tiredly. You got up off your bed to your bathroom, rinsing your arm off and dabbing at the cuts with a tissue until the bleeding stopped. Putting on a long sleeve night shirt you got into bed. 3:36 the clock read. Not that bad.

You then turned around and closed your eyes. Slowly but surely letting sleep take over.

*time skip to school.*

7:42 your phone read. Too early to go to class. Too early for Connor to be here. Fuck. Or is it? ‘Look for the boy wearing all black, possible man bun. Oh and there’s the fucker. Here early. Weird’ you thought but made your way over to him.

“Con?” You asked walking over. “Y/n, I got here as early as I could. I didn’t want you to have to wait for me but obviously I failed-“ you cut him off saying “no it’s okay I got here not even two minutes ago. Perfect timing Murphy” “how are you? Like, are you okay? Last night you sounded bad I guess” he said a bit quietly, not wanting people to hear. “Oh. Yeah no I’m good. I’m sorry for texting you so late anyways. Just my mind got the best of me.” You replied at the same voice level. “Y/n, you can always talk to me. If you feel that way please do. You didn’t do anything stupid right? At least, not too stupid.” He said getting quieter towards the end of the sentence. “Uh n-no why would you- we’ll be late if we keep talking I’ll talk to you at lunch Connor bye!” You said too quickly. He’s going to catch on and he’s going to know holy fuck he’s going to hate you, you thought to yourself.

*time skip to lunch*

“I’m coming over after school. Somethings up and I gotta check something.” He said giving you no chance to say no. “What- I’m fine Connor fucking leave it.” You replied instantly feeling bad for saying that to him. “Y/n I’m coming over. I don’t give a flying fuck if you say no or not.” Connor exclaimed not backing down. “Fine.” “Good”

*time skip to your house*

“Great now you’re here you’ve seen my house you can leave now as you can see I’m alive and fine.” You said pissed off he hadn’t forgotten. “Show me your arms.” He said. “The fuck? Absolutely not you need to leave.” You nearly screamed. Connor then grabbed your arm tight enough you couldn’t get out of his grip and pulled up your right sleeve, no cuts. He then pulled up your left one, all the cuts from last night we’re there bright red for him to see. Unable to form words you just stared at him, wide eyes.

“Y/n oh my fucking god I was hoping you’d come to me before you even thought about doing this I’m so sorry I’m a bad friend you never would have done this if I had come over-“ you cut him off, saying “I would have done it anyway, it’s fine.” He looked sad. Sadder then normal. Disappointed? No. Mad? No. Just, hurt. Hurt you’d do this to yourself. Hurt that the most beautiful person in the world could hurt them self. “y/n...” he said quietly. “I’m hurt you’d do this to yourself. It’s a nasty fucking habit and you’re not doing this. Ever. Again” he said sternly, leaving no room for argument. “leave.” The only word your lips could form. He hugged you though. He made you promise you’d never do it again.

Connor Murphy, who knew he had a soft spot. He broke when he saw your arms. He didn’t want you to do what he used to do. He knows how it feels. So, he stayed that night. Talking about the future. Talking about you. Talking about him.

It’ll take a while, but he’s positive you’ll get better. You’d rely on him instead of a blade. You promised. He felt better after you said that. Only a little better.

He doesn’t fully trust you and does arm checks. Razor blade checks. He cares for you. Trust him.

Thank you for reading this!! Leave requests for more.

- Con.

#connor murphy #connor #murphy #dear evan hansen #deh #evan hansen #jeremy #self harm #sad #cussing #connor x reader #conneo murphy x reader #x reader fanfic #fanfiction #i dont know how to tag #not for those easily triggered.#my dms are open if you feel this way #im no connor murphy but im here if you need to talk

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t0ngue-tech · 7 years ago

Text

Love Me Again

“Letting you go was a mistake and I feel like an idiot. I didn’t realize the effort you were trying to put in despite your schedule and I let my selfishness get in the way of something beautiful.”

↠angsttttty↞

word count: 3.3k

↠oneshot↞

♫ inspo: love me again - g.soul

a/n: HAPPY BIRTHDAY JUNGKOOK! i love him so much. he is such boyfriend material im crying. i biased him at one point too lol. i know angst isnt the best thing to upload on such a beautiful day, but i didn’t plan this until yesterday i swear LOL. also, i know this sucks but pls bare with me D:

Jungkook flickered his stare from his phone to his empty shot glass. For about five minutes, he had been staring at a contact name and hovering his finger over it, debating if he wanted to press call.

“Taehyung, fill her up.” Jungkook hissed. The bartender spun around with a disapproving look on his face and refilled the glass with the caramel colored whiskey.

After downing the shot in one go, he pressed the call button and waited for the ringing to turn into the voice he desperately wanted to hear. Instead, he was given an automated voice saying that the owner couldn’t be reached and to leave a message at the tone.

Jungkook let out a sigh. “Y/n?” He began. “It’s me, Jungkook. I know you don’t want to talk to me, but I really need to talk to you…” he pressed his forehead on the back of his hand. “I just—I need to hear your voice, y/n. Please just call me back… please?”

Jungkook ended the call and before he could ask for another refill, Taehyung snatched the glass out of his hand.

“That was the third time you called her tonight and you had enough to drink, Kook.” Taehyung lectured. Jungkook just glared at his friend for a brief moment and turned away. “I called Namjoon. He should be outside right now.”

“Dude, what the fuck?” Jungkook groaned.

“You’ve had enough. Go home and go to bed.” Taehyung instructed.

It was only nine in the evening and Jungkook had no intentions on going home this early, but the last thing he wanted was for Namjoon to storm inside and drag him out. Jungkook slammed a couple of bills onto the bar counter to pay for his tab and walked out with his hands stuffed in his jacket pockets.

Jungkook quietly entered the car, and Namjoon’s eyes were glued onto him. Without saying a word, Namjoon started up the engine to exit the parking lot of Taehyung’s bar.

It had been raining for the past couple of days and for the first time, the night was clear. The cold air beat against Jungkook’s flushed cheeks which gave him a sliver amount of relief for the headache he was starting to get. From the bar to where they were, Jungkook didn’t receive any phone calls or text messages.

“Taehyung told me that you called her, again.” Namjoon spoke, but Jungkook remained quiet. “You have to stop doing that, you know.” When Namjoon glanced at his friend, his head was turned and staring at the passing city lights. “Jungkook, you know that y/n has—”

“Namjoon, I have a tremendous amount of respect for you, but I don’t need your fucking lip service right now.” Jungkook snapped and rubbed the space in between his eyebrows. He knew and he didn’t need anymore reminders. The car grew silent again and eventually they reached Jungkook’s apartment complex.

With a loud sigh, Jungkook released his seatbelt and raked a hand through his hair. The headache seemed to be getting worse and he couldn’t tell if it was from the alcohol or from thinking too deeply.

“Jungkook.” Namjoon said. “I care about you—we care about you. I know you don’t want to hear it, but you can’t keep doing this to yourself.”

With another deep breath, Jungkook closed his eyes and sunk farther into the passenger seat. “I know. I’m sorry.”

“Also, you’re still going on Friday.” The younger was about to protest, but Namjoon cut him off. “Don’t attend the event for her, Hoseok is still our friend; do it for him.” He was right. Hoseok has been buy his side through everything and he didn’t have the heart to abandon him.

“Fine, but you’re helping me to my apartment because there’s no way I can make it up the stairs at the entrance.”

↠↞

Every spring, the Bangtan Dance Academy held a spring dance concert at the local theatre and Jungkook never missed a show. When Hoseok joined the academy, Jungkook and their friends attended a total of three spring concerts. The first concert Jungkook ever attended will always be memorable because that was when he first met you.

When the concert was over, Jungkook and their friends rushed to the back to congratulate Hoseok on a job well done. Not only did Jungkook congratulate Hoseok, he faintly whispered, “who was that girl you danced with for the first hip hop group?” Without a word, Hoseok grabbed Jungkook by the arm and led him farther towards the back where you were packing up your duffle bag.

“Y/n! I brought a fan.” Hoseok immediately embarrassed the both of you and Jungkook wanted to walk away. Hoseok excitedly nudged his nervous friend’s shoulder and waited until he said something.

“Y-You dance really well.” Jungkook’s voice shook.

“Thank you!” You beamed a smile that almost melted Jungkook onto the floor. “I’m y/n.” You stook out a hand and even if he was still nervous, Jungkook grasped onto your warm hand.

“I’m Jungkook.”

For almost a year, Jungkook took his time to get to know you well enough. He knew your favorite color, food, and even memorized your favorite coffee order. He knew about your pet peeves, the things that made you happy, your family and friends. Even if it took a while, it was definitely worth the wait because when Jungkook finally asked you to be his girlfriend, you didn’t hesitate to say yes.

The both of you dated a little over two years and everyday felt like a dream. You were perfect in every way possible and Jungkook knew he didn’t deserve you, but he didn’t want anyone else. Jungkook had dreams of becoming an athletic trainer and you supported him just like how he supported your dreams of becoming a professional dancer.

You cooked meals for him, woke him up when it was time for him to attend his classes, and you even joined him in the gym when you had time. Jungkook visited you when you had practice, watched you dance and if he had the time, he would wait patiently for you to finish.

When you officially became a choreographer for one of the hip hop groups, your schedule got busier. You spent a lot of time at the academy perfecting your choreography and if you weren’t there, you were at your part time job at the local library. Not only did it take a toll on your personal schedule, it created tension in your relationship with Jungkook.

Finding time had become a challenge as well as trying to stay up to talk to him on the phone. You didn’t expect to be that busy when you took the role as a choreographer. This caused a lot of arguments between the both of you and it was usually over the same thing; not being able to spend time with each other anymore. Eventually, Jungkook grew tired of the constant fighting and lonely nights and called it quits.

For months, Jungkook sulked and rattled his mind about whether or not he made the right decision. Months after it happened, Jungkook tried to text you and received nothing; your silence was his answer.

↠↞

It was a rainy Friday evening and Jungkook took shelter near the theatre. The recital wasn’t formal, so Jungkook wore a casual outfit that consisted of a white t-shirt, worn out jeans, and a leather jacket. He held a plastic bag that carried a box of sweets that Hoseok liked and beneath it was another small box of sweets with a red ribbon tied around it.

Jungkook patiently waited for Namjoon and Taehyung to arrive. He directed his attention to a side of the theatre that had posters of the recital plastered onto the wall. There was a boy carrying a bouquet of flowers and taking a photo of one of the posters. He was wearing a striped black and red sweater that seemed to appear big on his body frame and ripped denim jeans. At first he looked like a stranger, but his orange hair wasn’t that easy to forget.

It had almost been a year since Jungkook broke up with you and he’s been trying his hardest to cope with his feelings. He was on his way to the dance studio to drop off an extra pair of sweatpants because Hoseok forgot his at home. Jungkook was approaching the studio until he noticed your side profile instantly. He took cover behind one of the big trees that surrounded the building but peeked past the trunk to take a look at you.

Your hair had grown longer and was back to its natural color, black. You seemed to be looking happy and healthy, all of the things Jungkook wished for you to be since the breakup. He briefly looked away to gather strength to talk to you, but when he looked back, you were smiling at another boy.

He was just a bit taller than you were and had orange hair peeking from under his beanie. Jungkook convinced himself that he was just your friend, but it all changed when the boy handed you your duffle bag and kissed the spot in between your eyebrows. He watched as your eyes closed and stretched your lips into a soft smile. Jungkook remained in his spot until you parted ways with the other boy.

Hoseok danced in his denim pants that day.

The call of his name brought Jungkook’s attention to Taehyung and Namjoon who were sharing an umbrella. “Sorry for the wait, Taehyung took too long.” Namjoon side eyed Taehyung who was already glaring at him.

“I beg to differ. I said to buy Hoseok a grapefruit tart and you forgot, so we had to go out and buy one.” Taehyung retorted.

Jungkook listened as they bicker like they usually did. He looked back towards the posters and the mystery boy had already left.

“Ready to go in? The rain could start getting heavier.” Namjoon asked and Jungkook agreed silently, hoping to not run into the other boy.

↠↞

The recital aided in relieving Jungkook’s racing thoughts. Hoseok took center stage for multiple numbers and he even danced with you as well. Jungkook watched you with a heavy heart, but still made an effort to enjoy the recital.

Once it was over, the dancers entered the stage to take a bow and the theatre was filled with loud cheers. Jungkook clapped and tried to contribute with the cheering, but he couldn’t stop staring at you. Even at a distance, he could tell your eyes were shining and wore a big smile. Dancing was your passion and Jungkook felt as if he failed to completely understand that.

After the recital, the theatre was swarming with family and friends taking pictures and congratulating one another. Jungkook, Namjoon, and Taehyung had already agreed to meet where they usually did, right behind the curtains. Hoseok was wiping down his forehead with a towel when Taehyung ran in to throw his arms around his sweaty friend.

“Good job, Hoseok! Killed it like always! Here’s a little something I bought for you.” Taehyung handed him the small bag that contained mini grapefruit tarts.

“We bought. Stop taking all the credit.” Namjoon intervened.

“Thanks you guys, it means a lot that you all came.” Hoseok smiled brightly.

“Wouldn’t have missed it dude.” Jungkook handed him his box of sweets. “Too bad the others couldn’t get the night off.”

“Yeah too bad—hey, are those the brownie-cookie things? You better share.” Taehyung jumped beside Hoseok to get a better view of the sweets Jungkook bought for him.

“Taehyung, just buy your own. Your bar is not too far from the bakery.” Namjoon tried to pull him away from Hoseok.

“But they’re right in front of me now!”

“Tae—”

Jungkook watched as his cluster of friends bickered in a playful way. He looked over his shoulder to the small hallway that led to another small room where dancers kept their belongings. Without saying a word, Jungkook quietly stepped back to take his leave without being noticed.

Using his prior knowledge, Jungkook was hoping that you still waited in the backroom to cool off and he was right.

Your back was to your corridor and you changed from your last performance outfit to a hoodie and gray sweatpants. Jungkook hesitated to speak because he was afraid you would completely blow him off, but he took the risk.

“Hi y/n.” His voice soft and his hands were shaking, but you turned around and greeted him with a smile Jungkook never thought he would ever see again.

“Jungkook, hi.”

“You did great tonight, like you always do.” He took a deep breath and stepped forward, preparing himself for you to take a step back but you didn’t.

“Thank you so much. I saw you and your friends in the crowd. Namjoon’s pink hair is hard to miss.” The way you spoke to him gave Jungkook the same butterflies he had when you first met and those butterflies were suffocating him.

Silence fell for a short moment until Jungkook finally had the courage to say what was on his mind. “I’ve called you, but I can’t seem to get a hold of you.”

You bit down on your lip and rubbed the back of your neck. “I-I know, Jungkook and I just—”

“I miss you, y/n.” He blurted out.

“Jungkook…” you sighed, completely thrown off by his words.

“Hear me out, okay?” His words didn’t stop there. “I know I don’t have the right to say those words to you when I’m the one who broke things off, but it’s true. I fucking miss you and I’ve been a wreck these past couple of months.” Jungkook felt a vibration in his pocket and ignored it. “Letting you go was a mistake and I feel like an idiot. I didn’t realize the effort you were trying to put in despite your schedule and I let my selfishness get in the way of something beautiful.”

There were tears in your eyes upon hearing Jungkook’s speech. The words he said were everything you wanted to hear and more. But hearing it now wasn’t enough to patch up your wounds.

“You hurt me, Jungkook.” Tears fell from your eyes and the plastic bag he tightly held onto fell to the floor as he immediately stepped forward to wipe your cheeks. Words from the day you two broke up echoed in his mind.

“You don’t even make time for me anymore!”

“I know.” He whispered.

“You made me feel like a burden.”

“I get tired of waiting for you to get home too.”

“I know, y/n and I’m so sorry.” Jungkook’s voice cracked and held your dampened cheeks in his hands. He pressed his forehead against yours; he didn’t mean for it to happen, but the action came almost naturally. It took everything inside of him to not swoop down and capture your lips, tasting the saltiness of your tears and the familiar taste of your lips.

The day you two broke up was clear in Jungkook’s head. He remembers the harsh words you two exchanged, the tears you shed, and up until the moment you left his apartment. There was something inside of him screaming that there was no way you were going to start all over with him, but he had to hope.

“Y/n, I still love you. You were the best thing that ever happened to me.” Jungkook pressed on with his words, hoping that he could somehow reach you. “I know that dance is important to you and I also know that I was important to you too. I was just too blind to see that.”

You cupped Jungkook’s warm hands that cradled your face and slowly removed yourself from him, but not letting go of his hands. You squeezed tightly and locked eye contact with him.

“Jungkook, I’m happy where I am right now.” The softness in your voice made small cracks in his heart.

“Can’t you be happy with me?”

There was a wavering glint in your eyes, but you firmly stood your ground.

“Not as lovers.”

It was Jungkook’s turn to feel a stinging sensation in his eyes. He desperately wanted you to be his girlfriend again and every hope he had of that was shattered. He hid his face by staring at the glossy wood of the floor. The words he spoke didn’t reach you and he felt selfish for wanting to be the source of your happiness.

“B-But—”

“I want to be friends with you, Jungkook, I honestly do, but I also don’t think it’s safe to build a friendship with you at this moment.” Now it was you to wipe away the tears and rolled down his cheek. He didn’t want to cry, but his emotions flooded and broke through.

“I don’t want to be just friends with you.” He choked. You placed a hand on his broad shoulder and gave it a squeeze.

“I have to go.”

“No, no, please. Please stay.” Jungkook reached for your hands again. “Don’t go, y/n.”

“Jungkook, I have to. Jimin is waiting for me.” You spoke, trying to excuse yourself, but he kept his hold on you. “Jungkook…”

At the sound of the boy’s name, Jungkook’s heart dropped into the pit of his stomach. He had no right to stop you, but god, he wanted you to stay. His grip loosened and his arms slowly dropped back down to his sides. You reached back up to pat down his cheeks with the sleeve of your hoodie.

“Don’t beat yourself up anymore. You can find happiness again too.” You whispered sadly.

“I love you, y/n.” Jungkook whispered and lifted his head up to meet your eyes. They were glassy, but you blinked continuously to avoid anymore tears. The melody of your ringtone sounded off and for a second, you hesitated to pick up.

“Bye, Jungkook. I’ll see you around.” Before leaving, you caressed the damp skin of Jungkook’s face and softly smiled at him. You stepped back and answered your phone call. “Sorry Jimin. I’m heading out now.”

With a heavy heart, Jungkook watched you disappear out the back exit into the rain with your pony tail swaying back and forth. You were happy with where you were and he had to be happy for you too. But how could he when he wanted to be the source of your happiness.

The vibration in his pocket happened again and this time he answered.

“Hello?”

“Dude, where are you? We’re going to get pizza to celebrate!”

“S-Sorry Hoseok. I’ll meet you guys right outside.”

Jungkook ended the call and stared back at the back door you exited from. Watching you leave made him feel like he lost you all over again. He had to live with this regret and the knowing you found someone who made you happy. This was it and there was nothing more he could do. But the least he could do was respect your space.

Before leaving the back room, he noticed the box he failed to give you. It was flat on the floor peeking out of the plastic bag. He contemplated about taking it back with him or just tossing it out because it didn’t mean anything now.

It was all a metaphor; carrying all of his feelings with him or leaving it all behind. How could Jungkook possibly change your mind especially since you were already happy now. Finally he made the critical decision to pick it up and drop it in a nearby trash can.

It was really all a metaphor; Jungkook had to get rid of his feelings or else he was going to keep hurting himself. He walked out of the back room with heavy footsteps; walking away from it all.

♡ rae

#bangtan boys #bts #bts scenarios #jungkook #jungkook scenarios #bts angst #jungkook angst #good lordt #babykookie #rae writes

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puddingcatbeans · 8 years ago

Text

title: build a home in me (i’ll give you a place to hide) pairing/characters: promptis if u tilt ur head rated: g summary: Sometimes Noctis just wants a place to hide from the endless cacophony that is being the next in line for the Lucian throne. Prompto doesn't have much to offer, but he does his best. alternatively, how prompto accidentally became a willing accomplice to noctis' self-kidnapping from all the pressure that is his life.

i can’t believe i’m back with more ffxv fanfiction but here you go, something soft because friendship is really important to me and i’m a sucker for hurt/comfort, also honestly let noctis rest already, i will Fight

>ao3 link <

Prompto waves goodbye to the other members of the photography club, humming to himself as he turns to head home. But when he turns the corner, he finds a familiar figure leaning against the wall.

“Noct! You’re still here?”

Noctis glances up at him. “Hey, Prompto. You done with club?”

“Yup! You wanna go somewhere?”

“Can we go to your place?” Noctis is already walking down the stairs, expecting Prompto to follow.

Prompto blinks at his friend’s back. They usually go over to Noctis’ apartment, since it’s closer and Noctis has all of the latest consoles and also just. Ignis’ cooking. But Prompto doesn’t voice his questions out loud. Instead, he bounds after Noctis. “Sure! Is your ‘guard giving us a ride?”

Noctis’ shoulders immediately go up. “Let’s take the train,” he says shortly.

Prompto bites his lip. Something is definitely bothering Noctis. But Prompto knows his friend, and he knows that when Noctis is moody, he prefers to stew in silence until he’s ready to confront his problems. And that’s fine, but right now, Noctis is actively seeking his company. So Prompto vows to not screw it up.

On the train, he lets Noctis lean on his shoulder. In his school uniform, Noctis doesn’t really stand out against the crowd unless he’s standing at full attention. There’s that air of royal grace one just can’t hide, but in their three or so years of high school, Noctis has mastered the art of slouching like an angsty teenager, and no one looks at them twice.

Noctis isn’t a very tactile person, something Prompto has always chalked up to his royal upbringing and properness that Ignis is always talking about. Sometimes, mostly when it’s just the two of them, Noctis will let Prompto sit close, close enough their body heat mingles and the barely-there barrier between Prince Noctis and his subjects will disappear completely. So Noctis leaning on Prompto like this in a public space is something rare. He must be really tired, Prompto thinks, to allow himself to let his guard down like this. Vulnerable.

When Prompto lets them into his foster parents’ house, Noctis immediately makes a beeline for the couch. Prompto only watches in dismay. Noctis has always complained about how uncomfortable that couch is, despite the fact that he’s only visited a handful of times. Prompto agrees, seeing as the couch is rarely used and mostly just there to fit into the neat interior design that his parents seem to like so much, even though they don’t come back often enough to appreciate it.

Prompto hovers behind the couch. “Oh, hey, Noct,” he says brightly, “What do you want for dinner? The fridge isn’t really stocked, since I mostly eat at your place and Ignis seems to have spoiled me—” He notices how Noctis stiffens at the name of his advisor, so Prompto talks faster. “—We could get takeout from that fast-food place you like? The one with the meat-atarian burgers? Oh, but they don’t do deliveries—But it’s just down the block, I can run out and get them, it’ll be like fifteen minutes—”

“No!” Noctis sits up, but quickly averts his gaze. “Just. Stay here. Please.”

“O-okay.” Prompto pulls at his bottom lip. “Uh. There’s probably? Some ramen leftover in the cupboards from last time I went shopping? How about some good old ramen, yeah?”

Noctis nods, flopping back onto the couch. Prompto sighs to himself. He can read Noctis like a comic book but sometimes it’s a little hard understanding what exactly the problem is when it feels like the whole universe is out against his best friend. Shaking his head, Prompto turns to hunt down some edible food.

There are some packages of ramen left, though the due date is closer than he thought. He decides to actually cook them instead of just pouring hot water. He’s no Ignis in the kitchen, but he’s had enough practice living alone that he won’t set off the fire alarm. Probably. At some point, Noctis even wanders over to help, though Prompto suspects it’s mostly to make sure only minimal spinach goes into the ramen.

They opt to settle on the floor instead of the lumpy couch. The tv is on, some cartoon about an exiled lion that makes friends with wild animals and journeys back to reclaim his rightful throne. Something about the show turns Prompto’s stomach, but when he glances over at Noctis, he finds his friend isn’t even paying attention.

Noctis’ phone pings again like it has been for the better part of the last hour, and Prompto watches as Noctis scowls, brows knit and mouth tight, eyes dark under his bangs. He shuts down the phone and then throws it across the table. They both stare after it as it falls out of sight and lands with a soft thump on the floor.

“Noct? That sounded important...”

Noctis sighs. “I just... don’t want to deal with all that right now. I don’t—I don’t want to be Noctis Lucis Caelum right now, okay? Just for one night, I... I don’t want anything to do with the throne.”

Prompto stays quiet. He looks at Noctis as his friend leans his head back against the couch cushion, eyes closed and looking so weary, so miserable, so much older than he should be.

“Okay,” says Prompto, “then... you can just be Noctis, Prompto’s best friend, right?”

When Noctis finally meets his gaze, there’s a small smile ghosting his lips.

Prompto grins back.

He waits until he hears the shower running before pulling his phone from his pocket. It was vibrating nonstop throughout their dinner, so much so that Prompto is half-afraid there will be a hole in his favourite pair of jeans.

[6:38 pm] [from: iggy] Prompto, is Noctis with you?

[7:03 pm] [from: iggy] Prompto, Noctis is ignoring my calls and neither Gladio nor I have any idea where he is. Please respond.

[7:15 pm] [from: iggy] Prompto, you won’t be in trouble, but I need to know where Noctis is. Please respond.

[7:20 pm] [from: behemoth] hey is noct w u if he is tell him 2 text iggy or sth

[7:27 pm] [from: iggy] Noctis refused a ride today, said he was ‘hanging out’ with you. Please respond.

[7:29 pm] [from: iggy] Neither of you are responding and I am worried.

[7:32 pm] [from: iggy] Please do not make me have to call the Crownsguard.

[7:40 pm] [from: behemoth] iggys abt 2 have aneurysm tell noct if he doesnt respond in 10mins ill kick his ass after iggy kills him

Prompto winces. He does not want the Crownsguard to come knocking down his door. It’s one thing going through a full security check the first few times he visited Noctis’ apartment. He doesn’t need his neighbours asking why he’s so closely associated with the Prince.

Sparing a quick glance down the hall where the bathroom is, he texts back as fast as he can.

[7:58 pm] [to: iggy] im sorry!!!!! noct IS here we’re @ my place pls dont send the guards after me

[7:59 pm] [from: iggy] Why isn’t Noctis answering my calls.

[8:00 pm] [to: iggy] he turned his phone off he’s kind of;; upset

[8:02 pm] [from: iggy] That is no reason to worry his guardians. I will come collect him.

[8:03 pm] [to: iggy] i dont think thats a good idea ignis i think noct just needs some space let him sleep over? i promise nothing will happen to him

[8:05 pm] [from: iggy] That’s not your decision to make, Prompto. Our priority is the Prince’s safety.

[8:06 pm] [to: iggy] i know but i think hes rlly stressed about the whole prince thing please ignis?

Prompto chews on his bottom lip, looking from his phone to the empty hallway. He understands Ignis’ concern, but he’s also Noctis’ best friend. He’d risk being arrested for attempted kidnapping of the Crown Prince if it meant being able to give Noctis some peace of mind.

He just wants to give Noct a safe space to stay when he needs it. And right now, he needs it more than ever.

His phone buzzes again, and he looks back down apprehensively.

[8:12 pm] [from: iggy] Fine. I will have his security detail set up surveillance of your place though.

[8:13 pm] [to: iggy] thanks ignis!! he’ll be back before u know it

[8:14 pm] [from: iggy] Not too soon, then.

Noctis refuses to move from the bed. He’s completely camped out, knees tucked in and blanket wrapped securely around his body, only the top of his head peeking out from his makeshift nest.

“I had to tell them,” Prompto says again. He’s sitting on the edge of the bed, but Noctis has been ignoring him ever since Prompto told him about the texts. “They’re just doing their job.”

The Noctis-shaped lump huffs crossly, before shuffling against the wall. Except Prompto’s comforter is patterned with dancing chocobos, so instead of making Prompto feel guilty, he just feels amused. He tries his best to stop smiling.

“Noooooct,” he says, climbing up onto the bed. “Come ooon, it’s rude to ignore your host when he’s so graciously offered up his humble abode for you to hide out in.”

“You’re not gracious at all,” is Noctis’ muffled reply.

“You wound me.”

“Good.”

Prompto tugs at his wristband absentmindedly as he muses what to do next. It’d be kind of a waste if Noctis just spent the entire time pouting. But there’s really nothing to do in this house. He’s rarely here after all, spending most of his time either at Noctis’ place or at the arcade or at his part-time job or frolicking about taking photographs or just anywhere but here, really.

“Hey, Noct.” Prompto scoots back until he’s leaning against the wall, too. “Let’s plays a game.”

“... What game?”

“Uh... Question and Answer?”

That gets a reaction out of Noctis. His face pokes through the top of the blankets, and he frowns at Prompto. “That’s not a game, Prompto. That’s an interrogation.”

“Humour me for a sec, here, bro.” Chewing on his lip thoughtfully, Prompto says, “What would you name your pet chocobo, if you had a pet chocobo?”

“Of course you’d ask about chocobos.”

“Come on, don’t tell me you never thought about having a pet chocobo!”

Noctis rolls his eyes. But his entire head has emerged from the blanket now. “Prompto,” he says.

“Yeah?”

“I mean, I’d name it Prompto.”

Prompto squints. “I can’t tell if you’re being sweet or just being an ass.”

His friend only smirks back at him. “What would you name yours then?”

“Stella! Or Cherry. Or Bea! Or Liv! Or Nora!”

“Any particular reason why those are all girl names, Prompto? Hm?”

It takes him a moment to understand what Noctis is getting at. Prompto’s face heats up. He swats at his friend, receiving a satisfying grunt of pain. “Sh-Shut up, dude! At least I didn’t name it after my best friend!”

“That would be great disrespect,” Noctis sniffs, rubbing his shoulder, “naming an animal after your royal prince.”

“Uh-uh! You’re not a prince anymore, remember? Tonight you’re just plain ole Noctis, a lazy nerd who sleeps like a cat and for some reason has a personal vendetta against beans.”

As expected, Noctis scrunches his face at the mention of his most hated vegetable. “Beans are gross, Prompto. Don’t make me vomit on your bed.”

“Okay, okay, fine. Next question: what kind of animal would you be?”

“You just said I was a cat.”

“What kind of animal do you think I would be, then?”

“That’s easy,” Noctis says, and there’s that crooked grin of his, and that playful glint in those blue eyes as they look at Prompto from behind those dark bangs. A strand of his hair is sticking up from being under the blanket for so long. “A chocobo.”

“That was easy,” Prompto agrees, grinning back. “Hmm... If you could go anywhere in Eos, where would you want to go?”

“Anywhere but here,” Noctis says right away. But then he sighs, and leans his head back until he knocks against the wall. “I think... Galdin Quay, maybe. I heard the fishing’s good there.”

Prompto hums. “You do love fishing.”

“What about you?”

There’s a pause as Prompto considers. He didn’t really have an answer despite asking the question. He’s never really gone anywhere. Noctis hasn’t either, but he’s the Prince, whether he likes it or not, and unfortunately that means being watched like a hawk and being confined to certain areas of Insomnia. Prompto just never had the chance to go anywhere. It’s not like his parents would take him. And anything else before coming to this house doesn’t count, because he can’t remember.

“I don’t know,” he says honestly. “I guess I’m fine with anywhere, as long as it’s with you, Noct.”

It’s not until the words are out of his mouth and in between them that Prompto realizes what he’s just said. But it’s too late. His eyes widen, and he bites his lip forcefully, mentally cursing himself. That kind of sappy novel bullshit is fine when they’re clearly teasing, but this conversation has been quiet, almost intimate. It’s not like the words are a lie, because they’re not. Prompto is pretty sure he’d go to the ends of Eos for Noctis, he’d probably maybe most certainly die for Noctis, not because Noctis is his Prince but because Noctis is probably definitely the most important person in his life, ever.

Prompto doesn’t want to push away the only real friend he has with his stupid clinginess.

When he finally risks a glance over at Noctis, he finds the other boy staring down at his lap, lips pressed tight like he wants to say something but isn’t really sure what. And if Prompto’s eyes aren’t deceiving him, there’s a slight tinge of pink dusting Noctis’ cheeks.

Prompto doesn’t know what this means. He stays quiet.

“It’d be nice,” Noctis says eventually, voice low and slow, “if we could go explore the world some day, see what’s there outside the wall. Insomnia’s nice and all but... sometimes I feel like there are so many things out there we’re missing out on, you know? So if maybe... One day, before I have to ascend the throne or whatever, I’d like to travel a bit. It’d be cool if you could come with.”

Warmth swells in his chest. Prompto smiles. “Are you asking me to go on a road trip with you, Noct?”

“Sure.” Noctis shrugs. “Gladio and Specs will probably have to come with, but it’d be something, wouldn’t it? And besides,” Noct tilts a smile at him, “it wouldn’t be a true road trip without our very own photographer, would it?”

Prompto all but launches himself onto his best friend. They tumble down in a heap, but Noctis doesn’t pull away. In fact, if Prompto’s not imagining it, Noctis’ arms holds him closer.

“I’d be honoured,” Prompto says into Noctis’ shirt. It’s one of his, an old one so it hangs off Noctis’ slightly fuller frame oddly, but Prompto thinks the other boy wears it better than he ever did. It smells a little like himself and something that is entirely Noctis.

It smells like home.

“Good,” Noctis replies, one hand coming up into Prompto’s hair. “Because it wouldn’t be the same without you.”

Prompto’s glad his face is currently buried against his best friend’s chest, because he doesn’t know what his expression is doing right now, only that it’s embarrassing.

He’s a lucky, lucky bastard. One of the Astrals must have been looking out for him because even if he can’t remember where he came from or why his nightmares are tinged with red and steel and fading screams, even if there’s an ugly mark etched into his wrist that never allows him to forget that he doesn’t deserve any of this, even if some mornings he can’t face his own reflection and his skin itches and itches because he’s wrong and everyone can tell, even if the house he returns to every night has always been empty and cold and never a home, even if everyone has always looked at him funny because he has the nerve to hang around the Prince like he belongs—

Prompto wouldn’t change a single thing if it meant all of that led up to this moment right here, being able to sink into the warmth of his best friend. Noctis is the best thing that’s ever happened to him. It’s incredibly selfish of him, but Prompto would do anything to be able to remain by Noctis’ side.

They fall into a comfortable, familiar sort of silence. Prompto’s still sprawled over Noctis, but Noctis doesn’t say anything, so Prompto doesn’t either. Their hugs never lasted this long before, but they’re no stranger to drifting off in the same space after a hearty round of video games. And if Prompto is being honest, having someone else’s body heat next to his works better than any sleeping pill.

When his thoughts start to float off in strangely abstract tangents, he taps at Noctis’ side. “Noct,” he says, “I should turn off the lights before we fall asleep for real.”

“Nnnngh,” Noctis says back. He doesn’t seem to want to let go.

“Okay, fine, but at least let me—” Prompto wiggles until Noctis, groaning loudly, loosens his hold enough for him to reach over for one of his many stuffed moogles. He’s now half on his back, with Noctis’ arms wrapped around him like some sort of koala, and even if he turns his head it’s still an awkward angle. Still, he raises his arm, squinting across his room at the wall next to the door. He takes his aim, pulls back, and then releases.

The moogle hits the light switch, and then they’re both drenched in darkness.

“Nice shot,” Noctis murmurs above his head.

“Of course,” Prompto says, grinning proudly.

He rolls back over, trying to find a more comfortable position to lie in so he doesn’t wake up with a pulled muscle or something. Noctis adjusts his arms to accommodate more of his weight. Soon, they’re both lying on their sides, Prompto’s head tucked under Noctis’ chin, the chocobo blanket tossed over the both of them, legs tangled together and somehow none of their long awkward limbs trailing off the edge of the bed. Noctis’ breathing ruffles Prompto’s hair slightly. He closes his eyes, concentrating on counting the steady rhythm. It’s warm, but comfortably so.

“Prompto,” he hears just as he was drifting off again. There’s a feeling of fingers gently running through his hair, and then a whisper, soft enough for only his ears to hear, “Thank you.”

Prompto’s eyelids are too heavy by now, but he can feel the edges of his mouth pull up. He presses closer, nose against his best friend’s collarbone, and dreams.

#promptis #prompto argentum #noctis lucis caelum #ffxv #prompto x noctis #ffxv fanfiction #beanfics

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