#im tired of being a victim
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insanecreetur · 7 months ago
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Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. Fuck.
Nothings fucking helping.
It's all too much.
self harming and venting isn't doing shit
Please help me.
Actually, please just fucking kill me.
I hope this is it this time.
It's not like anyone will care or even notice
If anything they should all be relieved
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storywestistrash · 2 months ago
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i am actually so tired of the way westerners treat eastern europeans
#fair warning for. a very very long ramble and rant in the tags. apologies#westerner or russian. no other option#westerner because the only thought they ever have is 'but they had universal housing so if you oppose ussr you oppose that'#(which is stupid becuse you can believe in that WITHOUT WANTING LIKE 6 COUNTRIES TO BE FORCED TO BE RULED OVER BY RUSSIA)#(SORRY FOR WANTING TO LIVE IN MY COUNTRY WITH MY HISTORY AND MY CULTURE AND NOT RUSSIA!!) (poland was a sattelite state but GOD)#or russian because they have a victim complex and are convinced that they deserve to rule over the entire damn world#'well you had universal housing so you had it easy' right yeah. okay. forget about like. everything else that happened#to eastern europeans during that time#forget about the things that are STILL issues all these years later not only in poland but like the more eastern countries too#its not about. the fact that the houses 'didnt have 3 bedrooms and a jacuzzi' in them. you DUMB SACK OF SHIT#god sorry. sorry. i also know so very little but like god damn i fucking live here. i didnt sit thru all that modern history#for some dumbfuck to say that 'ohhh only rich and american middle class people are happy the ussr was dissolved'#'oooh the dissolving of the ussr was illegal and the countries within it actually liked being there'#im just so fucking tired man i need to. i need to start killing people#and this is all not to mention that theyll say this stupid shit and then deny eastern europeans the things they actually did that were good#FUCK french people for trying to claim maria skłodowska. fuck americans for trying to claim the witcher as their own fantasy world#fuck the way the west is allowed to claim and destroy eastern european culture without any consequence because we dont matter enough#vaguely related but ill throw this in here since anyone finding it is unlikely and im scared of having this opinion#i think one underappreciated aspect of DE (which might be underappreciated because its not actually there and im stupid)#is that its pro-communist while still also giving some criticism to how it was handled and acknowledging that its still not perfect#which makes the writers much better communists than any self-proclaimed one ive ever met in my life who just worships the idea#perhaps its because the writers of the game were not white upper middle-class americans living in the suburbs. among other things#idk de is a game for people far smarter than me and i only played it once and im sure anyone who played it well can clock me as a bad perso#horrible horrible person even which is why im scared of mentioning it. but its an interesting thing. to me#the main thing is that im just not. im not far left enough i suppose. i agree communism in theory is a great idea. as far as i know it#(which isnt very far)#but chances of implementing it correctly in a way that doesnt take away from peoples happiness in other areas is. low. very low#i wrote a short essay about how utopias are inherently contradictory ideas once it wasnt very deep or good but like#you cant have universal happiness without restricting certain freedoms. and when those freedoms are resticted not everyone#will be happy. and then theyre unhappy they will have to be somehow removed or ignored
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bunnyboy-juice · 1 month ago
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spent the first hour and change at work deleting some old files and am having a grand ol time laughing at myself for not realizing i was a lesbian sooner
#vulnerable tag rambles ahead please be kind abt them i didnt intent to ramble this much but i dont wanna delete it eitehr#me to every single man i have ever dated after 6mo-1y: yeah hey this really isnt working out i dont really know why but i really hate mysel#and i dont want to blame you because i dont think you did anything inherently wrong here; i think this is something about me but i need#space to figure out why im feeling this way [every single one reacted by telling me No i wasnt allowed to leave btw]#i hold very complex feelings about these relationships esp bc of them ending in very violent/chaotic ways most of the time#but its interesting to look back at it all and realize ive left every man for the same reason (which is that ive hated myself Every Single#Time ive dated a man) and its funny bc i recognized the self hate pretty early on w/ cishet men but when it came to queer men it was#much more confusing (esp w/ nto knowing Any lesbians at that point in my life). im so happy im a lesbian tbh#i have a lot of issues w/ the racism fatphobia and transmisogyny present in lesbian groups#and also coming out as a lesbian really truly saved my life. before i met my wife i was quite literally in a 3yr abusive relationship that#definitely would have died in if i hadnt realzied i was a lesbian and ran from him#its also weird seeing liek the hard evidence of the things that happened to me btween 2016-2020 tbh#cause that was such a bad time of my life. i truly dont know how i survived it but im so glad i did#like the three major relationships in my life b4 meeting my wife was: guy who was in college when i was in HS who stalked me when i left;#guy who was a year younger than me who cheated on me the entire time while telling me he was being victimized (he wasnt; this was very mess#guy who saw the very messy toxic ldr i was in and helped me dump my ex then decided that meant we were in a relationship [insert 3 yrs here#and admittedly all 3 years with him werent the same level of abusive but it was definitely unhealthy from the start considering I Didnt Kno#we were together until he wanted to celebrate vday and got mad i didnt know our anniversary - and like this isnt including the other stuff#that happened between those Relatonships[tm] (cause ive never been monogamous; these were just the Major Relationships)#like i genuinely think if i hadnt come out i'd be dead rn given just how dangerous my relationships were/continued getting#i am also so tired now that ive seen all this cause like. fuck i can barely believe it and i not only lived it but have PTSD about it#i should write about my life sometime. i feel like it'd be cathartic to try and make a tangible timeline and stories from the years ang stu#anyway yeah. be nice about the tag rambles. dont message me with pity or curiosity or anything about this. i dont usually talk abt this stu#publicly bc i hate the ways ppl start tryign to baby me when they realize my life has been extremely fucked up until only a few years ago#n im still working on accepting kindness from others bc of [insert life traumas here] but its a long process so pls respect my need for jus#being heard rn w/o too much pressure< 3 (but ig if u do read this can u like it cause i feel a little crazy seeing all the evidence of the#stuff i experienced now also cause fuck ik logically it was but also i cant believe it was all real still yk)
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satosktty · 24 days ago
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horror jjk au where sukuna and his team most likely choso utahime yozoru and uraume are assigned to influtrate a literal domain of hell that seems to be themed around raves and partying — the fashion is so distinct they stand out amongst others
large, bright mismatched colors with satanic related symboling on some of them. countless fur-filled leg warmers, shoes, coats the whole nines.
it’s a huge culture shock to otherwise well socialized sukuna ( technically he went from deviant; where he required his ear piercings -> rough correctional system; where he gets his tattoos from and then -> reintegrated into society only due to his physical prowess and he knows his limited freedoms can be easily ripped away if he disobeys his bosses )
* his bosses belong to a company that deals with supernatural shit by gathering prisoners who also are supernatural and making them hunt down these types of people for possibly lesser sentences
anyways once they enter the rave area, they notice the complexity of the domain and how it’s practically a city with large hotels and just more and more parties. it doesn’t help that they don’t know which people were just unfortunate enough to be caught in the domain and the spirits that have been transformed to look human
they spread out to garner more information after a near death experience with the bouncers for not looking like one of the monster ravers.
sukuna is the first one to reach the pit, he thanks his mother for his tall figure as he's able to shove to the very front of the pit.
then on stage he sees this beautiful creature with snow-white hair who's blue eyes seemed radiant against the neon lights. he's never felt more inlove and they almost make eye contact until sukuna looks down and notices that this white-haired beauty is wearing one of the hearts of the rave.
he's one of the sorcerer's he has to take out.
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sukibenders · 3 months ago
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"Ariel was stupid like she gave up her life in the ocean for a boy-" Well, if you actually watch the movie, before she even meets Eric, Arield shows interest in going to the surface and learning the ways of the humans. She collects artifacts and hides them, along with her trips to the surface from her father, who is prone to anger and hates her interest. He blows up her cave filled with said artifacts and bans her from ever going back to the surface (and seeing Eric, but the surface aspect and him go hand and hand). You want me to believe that you wouldn't book it at the first opportunity you got? Like yeah, the context of the deal was sketchy as hell, but when your dad is the literal ruler of all the seas you don't have many options. Also, in the sequel, Ariel is still connected to the ocean and can go back, especially after Ursula's sister dies so, in all honesty, my girl still wins in the end.
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bonnieisaway · 1 year ago
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seven's the best protag ever because i could make a million "get you a man who" jokes about him. get you a man who looks at him the way thirteen does. get you a man who has undefeated whimsy and love for the world like seven. get you a man who holds his friends above everything else. get you a man who'd rather go broke and hungry rather than tear apart the bonds between people. get you a man who'd get himself killed for someone who barely knows him. get you a man who'd get himself killed for an island which he's barely familiar with. get you a man who'd dress up as you and settle the arguement between you and your girlfriend including a really long serenade. get you a man who could both save the girl in white like that and also let thirteen save him like that. get you a man who's driven purpose in life is loving others
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trans-estinien · 8 months ago
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people really love to conveniently forget trans men exist when they talk about feminism. or if they dont they make us out as also part of the problem as if we somehow are able to have the same amount of privilege as cis men. absolutely wild
#“not all men” is a valid statement because its fucking true#like guys. seriously. not every single man is evil#feminism isnt about putting men down its about raising women up to be equal and getting rid of gender inequality#sorry im seeing a massive uptick in people hating on trans men for being men lately and its fucking stupid#like yall are doing a great job at making me feel ashamed to be a man who likes men. awesome thanks guys#i dont normally make posts like this but its been rattling around in my mind for a few days now#its always put out like. all men (trans or not) are Inherently Evil and all women (trans or not) are Inherently Victims#which is absolutely the stupidest shit ive ever seen#and they also leave out anyone who doesnt fit into the man/woman dichotomy. and if they dont its always seen as woman lite#which is also stupid as fuck#not every nb/agender/other person is feminine asshole#anways. case in point. can we stop demonizing masculinity while also discussing the effects of misogyny and the patriarchy please.#because both of those things are very real and very much do hurt people#but im sick of people lashing out at trans men as if the problem magically doesn't affect us anymore because we are men#because guess what! newsflash! it affects trans AND cis men too!!#i shouldnt have to explain it should be obvious but like. im tired man#sorry ill forever be annoyed at women who just hate every single man who dares breathe in their direction because they COULD be an asshole#if you hate someone because of their gender no matter what gender it is i Do Not Trust You#anyways thanks for coming to my ted talk. replies are off cause i dont want to argue with people i just want to express my opinion
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insanecreetur · 7 months ago
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I feel so blank
My head is flooding with thoughts and feelings but it's such big waves right after one another that I'm being numbed by the consistent pain and pressure
It feels like I need to sob scream and rip my flesh apart but I'm so exhausted I can't even bring myself to shed a tear
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saederkrupps · 3 days ago
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i think the convo around dark content gets frustrating to me because it does need more nuance than "what you like in fiction =/= reality" but you say that and people automatically are like "yeah! it's fine to do all this stuff but not this (insert thing)"
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cherry-treelane · 5 months ago
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dumbest argument i've ever seen people make is that svetlana is some kinda perpetrator of SA as if she wasn't literally coerced and unwilling in that situation
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pipcoded · 27 days ago
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ppl who say it’s hard to escape ur abuser are so right, but i still feel guilty abt not trying hard enough to escape lol
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gu6chan · 1 month ago
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im ngl this may mainly be a twitter thing as i dont really follow sh2 here on tumblr outside of like 2 blogs so potentially hot take incoming??? but aside from all the underserved angela hate that can be just outright insulting to victims (especially in regards to the dead horse that is her remake design and all the "memes" about that jfc) i also feel that some others even WITH good intentions are way too patronizing of her to the point it just becomes dehumanizing tbh, it is something i do not see mentioned NEARLY enough but like some of y'all fawn and talk about her and her trauma and treat her more like a sick kitten than an actual human being. like yeah while it goes without saying there are plenty of well-intentioned people out there, a lot of it just reads as rlly fake and performative tbh
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bugstung · 10 months ago
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Never open up to a white cishet woman who thinks she's better and a good ally because she's a" feminist"
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nexo-nex · 2 months ago
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lowkey thinking rn 2 am thoughts im thinking abt rewriting and redesigning crystal winter... she has so much potential to be such a compelling character but unfortunately she was victim of terrible writing
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themindelectricdemo4 · 4 months ago
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Omg maybe I was mean but Hey.....Someone Had to say it
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funkervogt · 10 months ago
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Honestly feeling horrible waiting for the court ruling tmrw. Hoping for the best but expecting the worst really. I really dont get how the world can be this cruel and i really hope they rule that it is a genocide. Like south africas case was so solid and im worried its going to just fall on deaf ears. Clutching my head for real
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