#im sory chaeyougn ;(( but itss time to nap4 me

[happilychaengs]

Dreamscape

a/n: HAHAHAHA idk whatt his is. sosososo confsing. my head HURTS but ok! writers blockk so i forcedd mysefl to writte this earlir. im sorryy if its no bueno o no entiendes ;|

word count: 1,179

son chaeyoung x gender neutral reader

tw: she's dead. alluding to suicide at the end. please don't read if you're uncomfortable about this topic

ANGST

You sat at your desk, staring blankly at the computer screen in front of you. You had been staring at it for hours, but for the life of you, you couldn't focus. You were stuck in an endless cycle of monotony, the dull moment getting even duller by the second. You start to notice the clutter beginning to build on your desk. The stacks of unfinished papers, the empty pens you start to forget to throw out, and the tangled electrical cords that are seemingly unchangeable now.

You glazed over at the clock on the wall, watching the minutes tick by as the phone on your desk blared. You picked up, your voice lacking any expression. It was your boss calling. She asks a simple check up on your progress though it's all but simple. You lie and say it's going great. You hang up. Did you leave your stove on today?

You get lost in your thoughts as lunch break rolls around but you don't have the energy to get up. Your stomach rumbles but your eyes continue to stare blankly at your screen. Laughter rings out from the lunch area and it almost feels like you're missing out but then again you didn't have the energy to care. The hours start to pass by, you not getting a single word down. Not a single key pressed. Not a single spreadsheet finished.

Your boss threatens to fire you but her words are lost in transition. It's all nothing but a blur to you. Soon enough, you're walking out of the building with nothing but a box of random contents in your hands as you get in your car and drive down the same street you take everyday.

You park in the same spot you always do and walked in your apartment, the same routine seeming to follow suit. Looking out the window, you see nothing but a plain and simple darkness that sets the tone for the night.

You set the box down at the foot of your bed and walk into the bathroom, staring at the reflection of yourself. You slant your head and squint your eyes as you notice all the things about yourself you didn't seem to before. Was your hair always so unkempt? Were your the bags under your eyes always so dark? Were your eyes always so red and swollen?

Quickly averting your gaze, you pace back into your bedroom and lay down, staring at the bottle of pills on your bed side table. You pour a few into your palm as you tossed them into your mouth.

Quickly gulping down the medication, you laid your head to rest as you stared up at the white ceiling. It doesn't take long for it to kick into effect as you feel your eyelids droop and the world blurring around you.

Today your dreams offer you a change in scenery. A peaceful oasis in the midst of the bustling concrete jungle. Winding paths passed through the lush green grass, provided shade by the tall trees above. The sweet scent of flowers blooming in the spring covered the land as the chirps of bird played all around.

In the center was a pond, the water sparkling in the sunlight. Families of ducks paddled through as parents and children alike sat on the shore, throwing small pieces of bread in.

Off to one side stood a bench, nestled among the trees, covered by the branches. It was worn and weathered, smoothed over by the countless of visitors but still sturdy all the same. As you sat down, you couldn't help but feel a sense of piece and serenity while you stared outwards at the scene playing out in front of you.

Though a familiar scent soon floated around you, the fruity and tropical smells invading your senses. A girl sits down beside you and your head turns slightly as your mouth parts open, "I missed you."

You don't get a clear view of her face, only the silhouette of her nose and lips seen as her long blonde hair gets in the way and cascades down her shoulders. "Do you remember this?"

It's not long before you know what she's implying, a weak and pensive smile on your lips. "It's where we first met and it's where I kept trying to court you until you became my girlfriend. I'm surprised it worked."

Her posture is prim and proper with her hands on her laps, her back straight as you see her nod. "And what else?"

"And... it's... where you died."

You can hear her laugh softly as if you just told her a funny joke, "Do you remember how I look?"

A frown appears on your face as you feel the guilt over the years all pile up on you, you shaking your head, "I'm sorry."

"No, it's okay." Her tone is still soft, still being able to bring comfort to you. You don't say a lot to her after. Only a few tidbits of what's been going on in your life since as she sits there listening.

You start to wallow in silence as the both of you continue to stare out at the pond. Now the moon was atop the sky, reflecting across the pond and casting a pale glow over the park, the leaves gently rustling in the wind.

"I do miss you." She blurts out, "I'm sorry I didn't say it earlier."

And although nothing in her tone implies it, this moment between you two feels fleeting. Like it'll disappear at a moment's notice. All in the snap of a finger. She grabs ahold of your hand and you feel nothing but a cold grasp that shakes you to the bone, the world in your eyes fading before you.

You jolt awake from your bed, feeling like you've been dragged out from paradise. Like the floor has been pulled out from under you. You look outside the window again and the darkness has subsided, allowing the light to come in.

The thought of preparing for work crosses your mind but the box at the foot of your bed serves as a quick reminder that it would be a fruitless endeavor.

Still, your day is nothing shy of eventful as you lay in your bed, the dreamscape from the night before quickly invading your mind again. The line separating your two realities begins to blur as your mind lingers on the sight of her and how you felt now. Was the life you're living really better than her? Better than how she made you felt?

You eyed the bottle of pills on the table beside you. You wanted to dream forever and they offered it. You quickly fumbled with the bottle and poured out the rest of the contents into your palm, some falling to the floor while your hands started to shake as they approached your mouth. You paused at the last second as you glossed it over, the unexpected sight of her face flashing in your mind. You remembered.

Dreamscape it is.