#im so worried in the future he'll worry ill cheat
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I really miss him so much. I want to share space with him I want to hold his hand I want to do laundry and dishes with him so badly. I thought about him as my girlfriend today, so casually, so effortlessly. I'm just.... he just makes me sooooo
#im so worried in the future he'll worry ill cheat#he has every reason so worry i guess#or he'll worry that my love for him is ingenuine considering my history#or otherwise question how im bad for getting over my previous relationship so quickly#and i dont know what to say about that#im worried i might not be over my ex. since its been so little time since#not that i feel anything. or did#but maybe im lying to myself#i dont know. i want this to be good i want to be ready to put my all into this#i dont want to fuck it up again. i want intimacy and i want love and i dont actually i just want those things with him#even if i could get with my ex again. which i could. i wouldnt want to#sure i miss like. kissing and stuff. but i think its just residual routine.#and i love him of course and thats how ive displayed that for so long#but my aspirations for having kids are gone. getting married to him almost so#and i never wanted to have sex#i just. i want to be sure that im sure. i just dont trust myself#whatever. more emotional than i thought id be#he called me his girl today. outside of sex#i want to be his girl and i want him to be my love#i just want to do it right. he deserves that
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