#im not saying i would choose 2 be smaller if i could. im just saying. well. i wouldn't know. because i can't.

[butchviking]

i dont know how to be smaller. i dont know how 2 b anything else.

[ravenbloodshot]

Pick a Card- Your True Personality

1

2-3

4

5

Instructions: Take a deep breath, and get rid of all thoughts. Then choose a number or decide by looking at the photo, I don't recommend choosing a pile based off your liking for the celeb in the photos, but do as your heart desires. Let's hope your heart steers you to the right pile

Pile 1:

This most definitely is the pile that attracts a lot of PAC veterans (aka ppl who follow a lot of PAC readers). I'm getting the vibe that you may seek a lot of validation from not only people in your life but from PAC's as well, you can get really offended by negative traits that come up in these types of readings and also likely hate all forms of criticism. You are the type to romanticize life and have an inflated ego, thinking of yourself as on a higher pedestal than others. You guys are above average in the looks department and tend to get what you want using your looks/charm. Your not going to have much trouble attracting a romantic partner, but you will have problems making them stay. You can become quite violent and hysterical when you don't get your way and that can turn your partners off. It's as if ppl will find you attractive but once they get to know you, think your batshit crazy and wish to get going asap. I'm definitely getting the vibe that you act high and mighty and like your the queen/king bee out of deep insecurities. Like a person that gets told their pretty/handsome so they go along with that but lowkey live life not 100% sure that's the case. Not calling you a bully but I do see some case of that, if your not a bully could be that you were a victim of bullying or bullied others in the past. Either way you have some aggressive, bullying ways about you.

You may not hold a healthy view of love, believing that it's your partners duty to love and care for you but you don't have to particularly do anything for them. It's the energy of a person who's married to someone completely unconditionally in love with them, while they're just there for the money/gifts. I do think you take good care of yourself (going to the gym, nails done, hair done, skin care on point, closet full of clothes your size and also smaller sizes that your working out to eventually fit into etc...). Your likely single and not happy about it, although you'll never truly admit it to yourself and neither would you to your friends.

This is the pile that has dealt with a lot of heartbreak and may have turned to a selfish but self conscious attitude to cope with it.

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Pile 2:

Ooooo, very passionate and powerful. Im seeing a duality with the feminine and masculine energy (remind me of Ryujin). You guys may be my favorite, I just get this warm tingly feeling and this random burst of energy (If I could meet with you irl, ik I would love you 💕❤ )

You are very elegant and sophisticated, giving rich girl vibes and if not rich you strive to be (and not in the way almost all ppl strive to be rich but I actually feel like you have set plans in place for yourself, your not fucking around when it comes to you getting what you want). I'm getting this real sense of knowing who you are and what you want so your quite easy to understand, you may speak bluntly and get to the point. The femininity I mentioned before shows itself in how you care for others, you protect your loved ones and you won't hesitate to stand up for those weaker than you or just in a worse off position. It's like yeah you know your Queen bee but you don't think your above others in and of itself , you just know your above certain ideas/actions of others (I mentioned this queen bee energy for pile 1, but they seemed more 'fake it till you make it' types while you seem more relaxed and confident in your own crown and still willing to fix other's crowns). Now for the masculine energy. I keep hearing the saying "I rule with a iron fist", so you guys may be quite stubborn and set in your ways. I'm also seeing a bit of a temper, you guys give such Taurus vibes, but it takes a while for it to really show its head. I don't think you blow up for every little thing but once your temper ignites, there's no putting out the flames until the fire runs its course (I'm seeing Canadian fires, how terrible and drawn out they were, it's the same as your temper).You do hold this view of "I deserve.....", which can help you to have the confidence to go after who/what you want but when your entitlement is extreme/irrational, you can come off as just a pushy asshole.

You definitely have this healing vibe to you along with this innocent love of animals, plushies, kids and all things cute and cuddly. You may talk to your pets (if you don't own a pet, you should, they will bring you a deep sense of peace/happiness). You love to feel like you've fixed people and things, you can become obsessed with helping ppl get out of their troubles and try to tend to their mental/physical health. One thing I will say is I think your the type to love the chase in relationships (you may become obsessed with being with a person who doesn't want you).

Last thing is , you can be quite the chaos bringer. I'm seeing some type of trolling on social media, if not trolling, you could just be quite aggressive with how you write on social media. I'm seeing a lot of hidden actions and secret accounts 😏

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Pile 3:

This pile has the energy of air signs. Your the type to overanalyze and over think everything. Even when it comes to things that you say, you may think about your words quite carefully before you say them. You may be an empath or bc you analyze ppl so intensely, you can pick up on others emotions/intentions and change the way you speak to fit others state of being (for an example: if a friend was in a depressive state and quite down and out, you would know better than to try to joke around, you would communicate with more kindness in your tone and try to be understanding). You can be quite humble and the humanitarian, wishing to do good for others/society (you have the energy of a therapist).

Your sarcastic and witty, quick with the comebacks and yk how to roast ppl (lol). You could have been a victim of bullying or just grew up in a tough environment and later you learned to stick up for yourself by using your words (insulting your bullies, roasting them etc...). Your words are very powerful, likely magical. Your the type to speak things into existence, so if I were you, I would be careful with what I say (which i think you do anyways, I'm just putting this out to warn you). I do see you can be quite vengeful and you have a mindset of "I'll get them before they get me". This makes you very defensive and hostile at times. Not just that but you have some jealousy issues.

You could be dealing with a break up and your heart is not open to love rn. I do think you do try to stay in a positive mindset but you could end up hiding your pain behind your laughs and smiles. Not really the type of person to deal with your emotional pain head on. You don't like to stay in one place for too long, preferring to move/travel often.

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Pile 4:

You are very much in your power and know your worth. You could be after an unconventional career that many have told you that it could never come to be but you do as you wish not as your told. I'm seeing that your quite an attractive and sexy person, very well shaped body as well (could be quite curvaceous or your obsessed with having curves) but either way you look good. You command a lot of respect and admiration from others. A lot of ppl wish to be you, look like you, or have you. Your very talented in some kind of musical sense, your likely gifted at singing (or your voice is quite enchanting). You express yourself well, a lot of ppl feel compelled by you and the way you speak (you could live in a country where your accent is different from most). You definitely have the power and the influence to get what you want, it's giving 7 rings by Ariana Grande, " I see it, I like, I want it, I got it" 💅.

I do think you could be too attached to your looks though, it's like you believe if you gain too much weight or you don't keep/get the curves you desire, Noone would find you attractive. I also see some idolizing of others bodies as well (keep off of social media as much as possible, its okay to post yourself but try not to scroll mindlessly. That fake social media shit gets to you and messes with your spirit). You may have been on your own since a young age, having to learn how to navigate the world and its evils/goods on your own. Your very independent due to this and also street smart.

Your in a stage of your life where you may be sleeping around a lot, playing seductive games, being flirtatious and plainly dating. Your likely viewing love as a game rn, and not taking anyone too serious. (If you are wanting to be more serious with love and attract a committed partner, refrain from sex when you date, your an enticing person so your partner will drive themself crazy trying to please and be with you). Most of you in this pile are just having/looking for fun though so that only pertains to a few of you.

Unfortunately, you may be the type to get into a lot of relationships in which your partner cheats or turns out to be pyscho. This may be the reason why I don't think you believe in 'true + unconditional love' (could be parental issues, childhood trauma as well). Your romantic relationships will be the thing in this lifetime that bring you the most headaches and loneliness

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Pile 5:

I got a vibe that this pile will attract a lot of fans of Niki instead of ppl who actually feels this pile will resonate to them, so those who picked this pile.

Turn around

Inhale

Exhale

Pick a pile

Welcome.

Okay. I feel like your quite young, probably in highschool or college. You've been through a lot in your life, in which at times you've felt abandoned or ostracized. But I think those experiences have made a stronger, more resilient you. You don't play a victim in life (even if you once were) and you don't encourage others in your life to hold onto victim hood as well. You know that you have to persevere through obstacles, not stay stuck in a pity party. You do have some codependency issues, you can be too clingy and hold onto others too tight. You fear others would leave you. You fear disappointing the ones you love. (I feel like you were "the nail that stuck out and was promptly hammered in"). So I think you may have anxiety about standing out too much or appearing too different from others. You have problems with understanding and respecting others boundaries (I just keep seeing an image of you holding onto a person, with strong grip, as they struggle to push you off). Instead of making ppl feel free and relaxed around you, you could make them feel uncomfortable.

Your a very book smart person. You have a fascination with unique things that most ppl would never think about and you come up with the most creative ideas. I think your more of a hoarder of knowledge and that you feel uncomfortable sharing your ideas with others, likely afraid they would laugh at you or say the idea is worthless. I feel like your not entirely moving forward with your life, your still haunted by your past. You could even recall voices of those who've insulted you or said very discouraging things to you and that can cause you to hesitate a lot in life.

I think this the ppl in this pile may be more sensitive and I want to make sure you don't feel hated or like I'm just another person confirming your own worst thoughts. I'm here to tell you to MOVE FORWARD in your life, don't let the haters win, don't hide yourself away. Prosper like the beautiful flower you are and always will be. 🌻

[dirtybitfic]

so wrong yet so right

matt sturniolo x y/n

Contains- lecture, disciplinary conversation, dirty talk , flirting, humiliation.

( matt is your professor and you've been skipping class so he has you stay after class to talk)

y/n pov ~

I've been seeing this guy on and off for a while but recently he's been persuading me to skip my lectures and I agree every time. Today I told him I have to go to my class due to the fact if I missed today id be dropped from the class and I don't need to deal with that and my parents would be up my ass.

I grabbed my bag and packed up my shit and started my 8 minute drive to campus. Im honestly glad my apartment isn’t far from campus or id be late to every class ever.

I parked and made my way into the building. The halls were quiet since this is a later class and most of the building is used in the morning.

I had my air pods in as I listened to Maria Maria by Santana and the product G&B.

I open the door of my lecture room and make my way down the first two steps choosing to sit further in the back .

I sit down and bring out my computer to type notes during the lecture and wait for the class to fill up.

After about 5 minutes the room was filled to the brim with bored students ready for the day to over since its Friday and everyone just wants to be out at the clubs and parties taking place for st.Patricks day.

im gonna be honest this class is kinda boring I had to take it so I have to suffer through but ... the professor is hot asf so I don't mind being stuck in this room for 2 hours and 15 minutes.

Okay guys today were going to be sharing the stories you've all written throughout this week . professor Sturniolo says as he dims the lights and calls up the first student to read their story.

This is a creative writing class and we’re aloud to write anything we want but I missed the fact we’d be sharing the storys... I find that my best writing is dark romance . It's all I read and it's all that keeps me interested .

There is NO FUCKING WAY i'm reading this shit in front of the class . I guess from the class I missed on Tuesday was when he explained that we’d be sharing them with the class.

After about 10 students we were an hour into class . This is a smaller class probably around 60 people. Im praying to god we don't get through everyone today so I can write up a new story over the weekend that isn't filled with smut and masks and corn mazes like the one I have written this week.

I had to pee when we got to the 30th story so I got up quietly slipping out and rushing to the bathroom.

Call me crazy but every time my eyes drifted to Professor Sturniolo his eyes were already on me . Id like to think i'm delusional but the eye contact we held as he gave me a stern look had me feeling otherwise.

I made my way back to class and sat back down . Im guessing we were on about the 35 story when he said we only had time for about three more after this one.

THANK FUCKING GOD I CAN WRITE A NEW STORY THIS WEEKEND I thought to myself as another guy came up to read his story.

I was in shock after he read his it was a story about an old couple with dementia and the only people they could remember in the end was each other as they died in each others arms listening to their first dance song from their wedding. Im not gonna lie I shed some tears .

I looked back at Professor sturniolo as he called the second to last person up to read . He looked at me with a smirk and I swear I saw his Adams apple bob as if he was chuckling at the fact I was crying from the story that was just read. I quickly wiped my tears and sank into my seat.

After the last story of the class he started talking about how he wants everyone to start a new story and have it ready for next Fridays class .

I want you guys to focus your next stories on a specific feeling . It could be anger, happiness envy... anything you're feeling in the moment . I know I don't usually give prompts but I want you guys to express your feelings and show me through your writing style so I can feel them as well . Portraying feelings is a way to keep your reader interested . Have a good weekend and be safe .

everyone starts packing up and I do as well until ...

Ms y/l/n can you stay for a second we need to talk about some things

I loudly gulp as I look down the stairs where he stands as I nod my head and make my way down to him as the last students filter out.

have a seat ms y/l/n he says motioning to the seat in front of where he stands .

I do and sit quietly waiting for him to speak.

so would you like to tell me why you've missed two weeks of class he asks as he walks to his desk grabbing a few things and putting them in his bag.

I have no good explanation so I make one up hoping he'll believe it.

I was sick the first week and last week I had car troubles and was unable to get transportation here. I say sounding a bit unsure.

did you go to the doctor for a sick note he asks as he walks over to me standing in front of me looking down at me all the sudden making me nervous.

umm no

then I cant except that excuse . As for the car troubles ... uber is an option or the bus he says narrowing his eyes on me .

I mean ... yes but I...

I think your lying to me y/n and I don't appreciate it. Id like to think I make this class fun and you are a good writer what could possibly be worth waisting your talent hmm? he asks as he kneels down in front of the desk so I have to make eye contact with him .

I don't know I whisper as my face gets red and all the sudden the room starts to get hot.

Its a boy isn't it he ask as he tilts his head and narrows his eyes.

what ... I ask looking at him scrunching my eye brows

oh come on y/n your face says it all . I hate to see you skip class for someone who keeps you from having good grades and staying focused

I don't know what your talking about ... like I said I was sick and my car was broken so I say as I look away . How did my face give him that much intell.

okay y/n here's what we're gonna do i'm going to ignore the fact that you are blatantly lying to my face and i'll let these absences slide . But... if you even think of skipping my class again I will drop you and you will have to retake my class next semester... an I understood?

y-yes sir thank you I say as I take a breathe I didn't realize I was holding and look back up at him as he stands above me.

now did you write a story this week even though you were absent?

I want to lie and say no but i'm already on his bad side . I hate to say it but... he looks so hot when he's being stern and slightly irritated. He's only 27 and im 22 which is slightly weird. Most of my professors are old as fuck but it's kind of refreshing to have a young teacher.

Yeah I did I just... I didn't know we’d have to share them in front of the class and its not exactly... something I want to read to 60 people. I say as I avert my eyes to the ground.

Then good thing you'll be reading it to me right now... I know your style of writing I read them on a weekly bases but if you'd come to class on tuesday you would have known you'd have to read it aloud .

y-you want me to read it to you now I ask as I look up at him with raised brows and worry in my eyes.

yes unless you have somewhere to be thats more important . The correct answer would be " no sir ill read it now" his tone was laced with attitude mixed with a degrading flare that had me clenching my thighs.

no sir I have no where to be ill read it now I say with a tinge of attitude .

good girl now grab your computer and come back down here and start reading when your ready

I swallow thickly when he calls me good girl as my thighs squeeze together and my face gets red . It's so wrong to think of my professor in the ways I am but he makes its so hard not too. He looks down at my clenched legs smirking and walking to his desk grabbing his chair and sitting it in front of the desk I am at .

I get up and walk back up to where I left my bag grabbing my computer and bringing it back down . Opening it up and logging in as I find my story in google docs and take a breathe . Ive never had to read what I wrote out loud and I hate it so much . The fact i'm about to read a full on sex scene to my teacher should be illegal but he reads my story's each week so how bad could this be right.

whenever you're ready he says as he leans back in his chair waiting for me to start.

o-okay I say as I look down and start reading .

I was running through the corn field the three boys chasing after me from all sides . I cant tell who's who from the masks but I know if they catch me i'm screwed. Im being smacked and sliced by the sharps thick dried shucks from the corn but I power through trying my best to get away untouched . I decide to take a left and run down a narrow path that had been cut . I hear a low chuckle close by as I look over and I continue running to see the gold mask looking at me as the boy approaches me quickly . You can keep running all you want but we will catch you and you'll pay for what you did I hear a deep voice call from behind me . My breathing accelerated as my legs grow week from the amount of running i've been doing tonight. The path all the sudden opens to a large circle with a cross in the middle where they tie up the scar crows but it seems to be missing but fresh ropes lays over the arm parts. I turn around and all the sudden my body is knocked to the ground by a large hard object tackling me .GET OFF ME I scream as the man who pummeled me to the ground holds me down sitting on my legs so I cant fight back. Should have kept running darling you're in for it now he says as the other two apear behind him. Fuck all of you I spit as they all hover over me . The one holding me down hoists me up and the others grab my arms as they push me back into the cross. The ropes that were hanging are all the sudden around my wrists as they tie me to the cross and my breathing starts to pick up . What the fuck are you doing stop take me down now I say to them as I start to panic. Mmmm no. You knew we'd come for you after you sent Darren to prison and now... you'll pay for your sins the one in the black mask says as he steps close to me and I suck in a breathe . He deserves every single year he’ll be in there and I will never be sorry for it. I say as I try to kick him in the leg but fail when my arms burn form the movement causing me to whine. Easy sweetheart your only going to hurt yourself if you keep doing that the one in the red mask says as he steps up to me . Now are you ready to pay for your sins red masks says . What fucking sins I did what had to be done I bite back.

You see sending him to prison hurt all of us and you're going to repay us . You're going to be our own personal slut . We'll take every part of you until you finally realize what you did was a huge mistake black mask says as he steps up to me grabbing me by the neck . Hell no I scold him . These three boys are crazy and deranged . So dark that it feels like the moon barely even shows when they appear.

Jake mullin , Kade Brooksville and Connor palemess are some of the worst guys you'll ever meet . They are so attractive it hurts to even look at them but they have the worst personality known to man. I knew that they would make me pay for sending their best friend to prison but after Darren killed my brother I went psychotic and tracked down any information I could to put him behind bars but at what cost.

Now they want to use my body in a form of pay back for what I did. I should be angry and disgusted but ... the thought of these three men using me like their own personal toy has me dripping wet and embarrassingly I want them in ways i've never wanted a man in my life .

They each rip off their masks and i'm met with their faces.

Jake with his blue eyes and blond hair with a perfect jawline and juicy lips, Kade with his dark hair , stubble over his sharp jaw and perfect green eyes and last Conner with his hazel eyes and sandy brown hair with a perfect button nose and sharp jaw.

Kade steps in front of me as his hands move to my waist in a tight grip causing me to gasp .Now be a good girl and spread your legs he says deeply as he towers over me . I swallow but do as im told not feeling like putting up a fight and excepting the punishment for my actions. He pulls my shorts down along with my underwear tossing them back to Jake as his right hand moves down to my bare pussy causing me to gasp. mm someones dripping wet he says with a smirk that I wish I could punch off his face . Fuck you I say as I look up at his green eyes that are boring into me . He shoves two fingers inside me and I moan out as he speeds them up and grips my jaw with the other . Look at you such a slut enjoying what i'm doing to you he says as he gets in my face keeping eye contact as I struggle to keep my eyes from rolling back. i'm shaking and moaning as my orgasm washes over me . Kade chuckling in my face as he watches me fall apart .

Connor come behind her and hold her legs up Kade says as he starts unbuckling his belt. My eyes widen as my body is picking up and conners strong veiny arms wrap underneath my thighs holding me up. Kades jeans drop to his ankles as he moves to take his boxers off too. I look down to see his long and thick dick clad with 4 Jacobs ladder piercings making me gulp.

He steps up to me and I meet eyes with him as his glisten with lust and a tinge of devilish intent. He smirks at me and I want to die right here right now. I should be fighting this I should be disgusted but... i've never wanted something so much in my life. This is going to hurt but punishments shouldn't be enjoyable. he says deeply as he slides the tip in causing me to gasp and my face to squeeze in discomfort. So fucking tight he groans as he slides more in and I feel every piercing as he thrusts in all the way and I scream. The pain of the stretch has my hands balling to fists and my eyes to water. He starts pounding into me harshly as my breathing is rapid and my muscles tense the pain hurts so good. Thats it take it all he groans as he gropes my ass and pounds faster hitting my g spot repeatedly . This goes on for god knows how long and I’ve lost count of how many orgasms I’ve had . All I can do is breathe harshly when he finally finishes inside me and pulls out as Conner drops my legs and I hang on the ropes as my legs give out. Mmm I think we should just leave you here like this Kade says as he buttons his jeans and looks at me .My face is covered in tears and spit and I struggle to keep my eyes open from the exhaustion my body is feeling right now .Please don’t I whisper with a raspy voice . He chuckles as he tells the others to untie my wrists and Conner puts my short back on but keeps my underwear shoving them in his back pocket . Kade picks me up throwing me over his shoulder and walks back through the maze to his car throwing me in and driving back to their large mansion .

I take a deep breathe and stare at my computer when I finish reading the story unable to meet his eyes.

I mean y/n I must say you’re an amazing writer . You know how to set a science and really make the reader be able to envision where the story takes place.

Thank you sir I say but I still don’t look at him

When you write these stories do you envision yourself as the girl character he asks in a tone that has my eyes snapping up to meet his

Ummm … I guess yeah

Interesting he says as a smile forms on his face

You could easily be a dark romance author you have a talent for it … I mean these fantasy’s are thoroughly thought through and I think people would enjoy reading something like this. If I have to admit I read a lot of dark romance books myself and your writing reminds me a lot of books I’ve read and enjoyed

I smile at him as my face blushes and he notices as a smirk comes to his face.

Thank you sir I … appreciate that a lot

He stands up from his chair and come behind me as he bends down to be ear level with me.

Now. You better keep that promise about coming to my class from now on . I know you can be a good girl for me okay .

His voice so deep in my ear I feel the vibrations in my head and I accidentally let a whine out when he says good girl again and I hear him chuckle in my ear as he places a hand on my shoulder as he stands up to his full height.

Thank you for staying ms y/l/n . I can’t wait to read your next piece have a good weekend

I grab my computer and smile at him .

You too Mr Sturniolo I say as I rush up the stairs to my bag and rush out of the class room.

God wtf is wrong with me I think as I get back to my apartment and flop down onto my bed .

the way he spoke into my ear .... the heat of his hand on my shoulder... the way he calls me good girl.

the way i'm thinking about my professor right now is not okay and I know that but fuck me I cant stop myself from going to my nightstand and grabbing my vibrator.

Ever since I left that building tonight I couldn't deny the pulsing between my thighs and wetness that pooled when I read my story to him .

I strip and lay down on my bed as my minds ran wild with thoughts of professor Sturniolo .

maybe this will get him out of my head and ill be able to focus from now on.

Matts pov-

Y/n is a great writer but god reading her story each week drives me wild. I know thinking of students sexually is wrong and morally illegal but I cant help myself .

I was pissed off that she skipped two weeks of my class ... yeah obviously because she should be focused on finishing out her senior year with passing grades but also because I love watching her in my classroom as she works on her dirty little stories.

The way she bites her lip in concentration… the little smirk she gets when I know she’s writing a dirty line… the way she clenches her thighs when I call her a good girl

I know she’s my student and I shouldn’t be thinking these things about her but … I pull up her last story in my computer and decide this is the least time I’ll ever jerk off to the thought of her.

I need to clear her out of my head and be professional from now on .

Next class is gonna be different….

Part 2 coming soon 💋

[therealslimshakespeare]

What got you into writing/how long have you been writing?

What’s your writing inspiration?

Do you write in silence or need background sounds? Like music?

Do you struggle more with dialogue or detail?

Any tips for someone who wants to write fanfiction?

How do you differ all your OC’s so you don’t rewrite the same characters over and over?

Do you do research?

— from someone who would love to write their own stories lol but yours are great!

My darling. So many apologies for how tardy I’ve been in replying to this, I really wanted to give it due thought because I’m quite touched you’d even ask.

1: I’ve been writing since I was little, my mama was always reading me classics and my greatest ambition was to be some kind of author every bit as colorful as their characters, a la Oscar Wilde. 🥳

2. Writing inspiration? Oh that’s a hard one only in that I could cite a million things and chat your poor ear off, but to be boring and also frank -I just love stories. I think they’re so inspiring and healing and necessary for making sense of things, or else resigning to things that can’t be explained. I love to study love and how very human and fallible and also indestructible it is in its many forms. I love to dig through tragedy and find the refining purpose of it, I love to take characters through hells I’ve been through so that I can imagine their triumphs, too, and my own through them. If this can happen to -name your hero- then I’m no smaller for it happening to me, if -name your hero- can get through it and be loved and admired by a whole fandom? -I deserve the same commendation from myself at the very least. Stories are essential and fun and I never ever imagined I’d have a little group one day liking my own where we could all scream about these things together. I’m legit so humbled each time I log on here and find y’all ready and waiting and interactive. The community of it, that’s the biggest drive right now, tbh. What a sweet season.

3. I usually write in silence, or else at any chance where I have a moment, so that could be public transport or lunch breaks or in the loo during family holidays, ha. However I do find music to be an inspiring mood setter for writing later that day. Especially as i juggle many ongoing projects at once, the genre im listening to before may very well influence what gets worked on.

4. Detail!! Dialogue can be challenging but I hear it so clearly in my head most of the time that it’s not hard. Details can devastate me.

5. Ooof, I still feel like I’m a baby at it, this is only my second fandom to dare for. I’d say for sure write what you find inspiring instead of what appears to be wanted, i firmly believe that’s the only sure way to keep up any inspiration and the niche will draw its own crowd, one’s who will like it all the better for its specially crafted world. Also, for dialogue -replay and replay dialogue from the character before you write. Are they terse or do they ramble? Are they sarcastic or earnest? Do they have a word they repeat often? -I noticed the other day how Rosenthal uses “you know?” often in the show. Also, sometimes switch up sentence structure from character to character, it helps feel like hopping brains without a fully jarring POV change. All these are things I’m currently working at myself, but that’s the best I’ve got for advice.

6. Oh boy I’m still figuring this out myself. Three things come to mind as little helps I use- first off, read real biographies, it helps tremendously with crafting fully dimensional fictional people. Two -have a maturing arc for your OC during the story, separate from whatever adventure or romance that occurs, this will make it feel less like a inserted person into the broader story. Three, choose a personality type or something similar to both keep them separate from the next but also to ensure their virtues have corresponding vices.

7. I do research a lot. But I find that it’s a fine line for myself of when that drains all creativity or bravery. Im massively indebted to so many mutuals who generously share their own with me.

[aztarion]

Happy Valentine’s Day, lovely person 🌹

It’s been wonderful to see your art! I really love how you draw Mason and your style in general and am looking forward to seeing more of your art!

Here’s a romance-themed OC question for any OC(s) of your choosing (no pressure to answer on Valentine’s day itself, or at all):

What combination of random objects would your OC use to describe their LI? What do they represent? Bonus question: What would their LI use to describe them?

AND HAPPY belated VALENTINES TO YOU 🥹

im sorry i didnt get to this earlier, i was waiting to be more awake but im literally getting worse LOL. but it made me so happy ;_; thank you thank you thank you, for being far too kind abt my art 😭 im so fuckingglad i finally got a tablet during my crazy ass wayhaven renaissance because there could not be a sweeter group of people to share stuff with 🫂♥️

for the oc ask… well i just gotta do dev/mason theyre in my minds microwave 24/7 rn (hope the ceiling fan falls on them btw)

some of this is a bit more association than true description of character bc i could go on forever listing stuff for both of them.. but for dev w mason it would be two big things at their current standstill:

- marlboro reds; her favourite — she is in the middle of quitting smoking in book 1 so him constantly lighting up with her cigs of choice, as well as just being rude and grating on her already thin nerves, drove her barking mad insane. by book 2 she is floundering hard and asks for one after he shows up at the station. when he says no and that she’s supposed to be quitting she gets a bit pissed and makes him put out smokes anytime thereafter out of pettiness. also reds…… strong, numbingly intense, addictive, etc. sums up the early stages of their arrangement :D

- definitely the wolf cub from the carnival game! deva is hugely sentimental (to a concerning degree — she is a hoarder yay disaster apartment option) though would never admit to it. she still keeps raggedy decades old stuffed animals from when rook was around that she just cannot say goodbye to 🤦‍♀️ and she refuses to let herself get attached to mason on any meaningful emotional level so those budding feelings in book 3 kind of manifest on the wolf cub without her realizing it (i was so glad there’s a little part abt the detective saving their carnival prize after the apartment gets flooded because Very Deva, that thang is her whole support network) (plus when mason inevitably bails during the night she has smth to cuddle because objects dont leave no sir . Rebecca get this girl a therapist)

- and one smaller thing im still playing w is red jasper crystal 🙇🏻‍♀️

maybe she sees them in the crystal store. I colour pick from these when i draw him LOL

for mason wrt deva — not an object but just straight up chaos tbh. at where they are in book 3 i imagine every time he sees the detective his brain is going question mark question mark. and hes definitely not sentimental in the way Dev is that certain objects would have any sort of emotional stir in reminding him of her. mason definitely goes more on how she makes him feel; really fucking good, really fucking confused, really fucking messy (like her apartment which he HAAAAATES), and on a few occasions now… weirdly serene. cant make sense of it; doesnt even understand why hes bothering TRYING to make sense of it but here he is and it’s happening and it has never happened before and THAT is probably the best way he could encapsulate her at this point in their relationship… other than, yknow, encapsulating in other ways 🫢

ty so much for sending this and sorry for sleepy rambling!!!! AND COME OFF ANON LET ME DRAW SMTH FOR YOU♥️♥️♥️

[nekkodiaries]

— knock me down. (teaser)

RELEASE: march 18, 2023.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: finally hard-launching the fic that i've been working for a few months now. hhhhh. i'm excited but also very insecure because a good quarter of this fic is written and i'm so ! anxious ! about my writing skills (as someone who knows they're bad at describing and bad at being literate in general. rip.) anyway. i hope you guys enjoy this fic like you did with cheating on you. if you want to be added to the taglist, just reply or send an ask.

reblogs are super appreciated! 🫶

after a tough day of contributing absolutely nothing to the greater good of society, jay decides to do what men like him choose to do to relieve stress: by playing a high-stress game.

what he wasn't expecting, though, was to get a snarky partner who would actually reciprocate his angry chats (as a result of his bad temper) and shit-talk him back. like what they're doing right now.

killstrike: wtf you should have covered me notursniper: yea well u shouldnt have been peeking. killstrike: ur ign fits u bc ur shit at sniping 😂😂 notursniper: i HAD him but ur big ass head was IN THE WAY now u got headshot boohoo 😛 killstrike: just stfu and come revive me

jay was pissed. there's no way he's losing this duo match. it's down to three teams and he can't risk losing more points for his rank when he's so close to reaching crown four, so he breathes in and out, trying his utmost best not to let the arrogant demeanor of his partner get on all of his nerves. notursniper heals him and fends off two players while he heals, leaving just one more team. 

you got this. you got this. jay internally chants before a barrage of shots echo from his phone's speaker. he's too busy to look for the enemy to notice his partner's been knocked down. the motherfucker's proning. the circle's getting smaller and jay's getting anxious over the constant request for healing when all of a sudden: 

better luck next time player killstrike! top 2/100.

"fuck!" jay shouts in frustration, watching the loading screen as the game demotes him from crown five to regular crown rank. "great. that's just great." in the heat of his frustration, jay adds notursniper just to be able to message them— and as soon as he sees them added to his "friends" list, jongseong taps his frustrations away. 

killstrike: its your fucking fault. now im just crown

notursniper: 🤨 ?

killstrike: well??? are you gonna admit your wrongs???

notursniper: 1, is this how u treat women lmao and 2, no i wont :p notursniper: maybe if you actually healed me then we wouldve ranked up notursniper: but ur too selfish and tried to shoot before attending to ur teammate notursniper: so i'd say that rank demotion is DESERVED ❤️

killstrike: man fuck u 😐

notursniper: sry there's a line for gamer boys who wanna bang. you gotta get in line babes 😘

was it possible to choke on air? because jay's convinced he choked on air when he read that. it doesn't help that his eyes immediately darted to the icon where her cuteness was radiating despite her hand and phone covering her entire face. he blames his temper for why he's feeling hot right now— definitely not because he got a visual of what could happen if he did choose to get in line. definitely not. never. no.

killstrike: ew

notursniper: hey u can block me if u want to lmao 🤣

impulsive by nature, jay taps a few times and gets so close to removing user notursniper as their pubg friend but he hums in thought. having a higher rank meant having more skilled enemies and he's never seemed to get past top 40 players without dying, so it was a miracle he got until the top 2 tonight. his teammate's shit-talking aside, he'd say they were actually really good. 

and again, real cute on her icon.

"what?" his own intrusive thoughts snaps him back to the real world, to see that she actually removed him as an in-game friend. what the fuck? in a span of panic, he tried to add them again. 

a few days pass by but alas, no response from her. jay does not know why he's itching to check on his phone every now and then. heeseung and sunghoon don't even want to question why he's been staring at phone with his brows furrowed for hours now.

it's only because they're a good player and they can help me rank up. that's it. 

soon enough, jay's routine has become waking up, going to school, and checking if user notursniper has accepted his request at every waking second of the day. the same goes for the following morning when jay anxiously opens the game again and finds one new message from a friend.

notursniper: hey loser. back for more?

masterlist. ┆ next.

summary: park jay lives life as a hot-headed gamer by day and.. well.. still a hot-headed gamer by night— except he secretly goes by the name killstrike. after losing a match, he finds himself trash-talking, his teammate notursniper, who happens to be the mysterious classmate he's been admiring for over a year and more.

taglist [open]: @yvnjin-s @wondering-out-loud @rikisly @babystrlla @shinrjj @homelycat

[sewer-sermon]

RANDOM QUESTION OUT OF THA BLUE BUT!!! I've been thinking about what various madcom characters' fursonas would be bc i do that with all my hyperfixations and im v curious what animals youd assign them,, (especially crackpo n phoobert bc ur takes on both of them are delightful !!

OHH!!! I REMEMBER U SENDING ME A REQ ABT THIS AND I NEVER GOT TO IT BUT I REALLY REALLY WANTED TO SO IM ABSOLUTELY AT LEAST GONNA GIVE YOU AN ESSAY ABOUT IT

see the thing about this question i LOVE is that you can answer it two ways: "what the characters would say their fursona is" and "what God and everyone else knows their fursona is". "jerma you'd be a rat" vs "lion wolf hybrid king of the junjle". you get me?

we'll start with what they'd make up as fursonas- i think phobos would try to be as realistic as possible n choose a deathstalker scorpion, nd make VERY clear to specify that he has remarkably small claws (so you know how potent his venom is!!!) [scorpion venom is relative to the claw size- smaller claws = more potent venom, as they have less need to hold down their prey!]. tbf he'd probably literally just base it off one of his owned scorpions- no fancy bits n baubles attached, although he would also design UV markings [scorpions, along with many other animals glow under UV light!] for himself so the design isn't necessarily bland or lacking.

crackpot would be the complete opposite, however- he'd be too indecisive with which bird species he likes best that he'd just give up n make an every-hybrid of some manner (tho it WOULD look most similar to a vulture, i think!). he'd literally make a sparklebird. rainbow feathers, scene getup, FUCK YOU let him have fun for once in his miserable life!!! realistically unlike phobos, who cannot ever take the stick out of his ass for 2 seconds to indulge in a little whimsy, i think crackpot probably had a fursona at some point (he just kinda stopped having time to think about it after The Occurrences. you get it!)

now. as for what god and everyone else would assign them....... actually a little tougher. bc a scorpion still feels right for phobos, symbolically- the ole fable about the scorpion and the frog, y'know? DAMMIT, PHOBOS. YOU WIN THIS TIME! but maybe he'd be a species with weaker venom. Just cause. (i could be really extra mean and say pseudoscorpion but cmon man.)

crackpot on the other hand.... ive gone into such meticulous detail about the kinds of bird he could be, but the funniest part is i don't think God would let him be a bird at all. birds are something he takes great comfort in, something he wants to be-- but he's a pretender, he's always worn a mask his whole life, always wished he could be somebody else. he'd be something that exhibits batesian mimicry [batesian mimicry is when one harmless species mimics another, more threatening species]-- i think he'd be a hoverfly, a type of fly that mimics bees! alternatively he could be a salamander but i don't have cool symbolism reasons for that i just think it's right.

TLDR;

if we're talking "jerma you'd be a rat" phobos could be a scorpion or pseudoscorpion and crackpot would either be a hoverfly or salamander, if we're talking "lion wolf hybrid king of the junjle" phobos would be an ostensibly cooler scorpion & crackpot would be some kinda sparklebird.

TY FOR GIVING ME AN EXCUSE TO WRITE AN ESSAY!!!! i love prompts like this so so much plsplspls don't hesitate to send me three hundred asks of this nature I LOVE FEELING LIKE A GREEK PHILOSOPHER

[destinyc1020]

can I say a confession. I kinda lost all my interest in the MCU not even the prospect of zendaya and tom returning in sm4 is exciting to me obviously I would eat up a press tour but not the movie. I dont post end game this MCU has been rather flat and dull. No hate to people who love the MCU, I really hope the MCU delivers yall some magical stuff. Its just watching other major blockbusters and seeing their quality like top gun or mad max or dune or spiderverese like Im reminded at what cinema can be when creators are given time and freedom to build their own worlds and create unique moments story telling or when we see great cinematigraphy and sound design.

Like Im glad I opened myself to see smaller things or films I've never thought I would watch like poor things, american fiction, la chimera, all of us strangers, past lives and just being transported and experiencing something amazing and emotional and feeling rewarded as an audience member. I dont know I feel like mcu is kinda lagging behind and I feel lile audiences deserve better products and the MCU just dont deliver anymore.

Thanks for your confession Anon. 😊

Idk if you meant for me to hold this "Confession" off until Sunday so that you could have immunity lol 😆, but I saw this posted to my inbox yesterday, and it didn't say to hold off from posting until Sunday, so I assume you wanted me to post it. 🤷🏾‍♀️ If I misunderstood, I apologize.

Anyway.....

I'm definitely a self-proclaimed "Marvel Girl" (always have been 😊), but I also love DC comics as well. I'm not one of those who feels like fans HAVE to choose btwn one or the other. 👀

With that said, Marvel to me is like the fun, exciting, "junk food" of cinema. Like eating junk food, watching Marvel movies is fun to digest, it's enjoyable, it's exciting, you feel GREAT while watching it, and you can't wait until you see some other new films coming out.

But, you can't exist SOLELY on junk food and be healthy, just like if you're truly a fan of film, you can't ONLY watch Marvel films and be 100% satisfied in your movie-viewing life. 🤷🏾‍♀️ You need a balance.

It sounds like you're definitely a fan of film, and you watch a variety of stuff. That's awesome! 😃 👍🏾☺️

While I love Marvel, I too have noticed that some of their more recent films have left some fans a little disappointed, and just feeling a little "Marvel Fatigue".

I honestly think that they got worried that after they killed off most of the OG Avengers, that fans would lose interest, and so they started just churning out more and more films and series in order to put out the "next phase". But in all honesty, I kinda feel like after NWH and Wakanda Forever came out, I sort of feel like Marvel should have taken a little bit of a BREAK, and allowed the fans to miss them (sometimes, absence makes the heart grow fonder), and really taken their TIME in writing better films going forward after resting for a few years. 👀

Cuz you're right, some films are feeling a little sloppy and rushed, and honestly, when you compare some of the newer Marvel films to films like "The Dark Knight" , or even "The Batman", or shooot.... even "Spider-man 2" lol 😆, you can kind of see the STARK difference. (No pun intended lol)

Obviously, Marvel films aren't going to be like "Poor Things" or "All of Us Strangers", so I wouldn't even compare them to those types of films rofl 🤣

But yea, like when you even compare some of the Marvel films to a movie like "Top Gun: Maverick" (which was AWESOME and brought back old school style Hollywood filmmaking), you can tell the immediate difference in how you feel when watching it, the writing, the cinematography, the MUSIC, everything....

I think Marvel reigned Supreme for many many years (over a decade), and so maybe they got lazy or felt that MORE content more OFTEN was "better", but I actually think the opposite. 👀 🤷🏾‍♀️

[marley-manson]

Im back with a few more for the fic ask game (sry if you answered one already, i did read your answers but i dont rmr them all) if youre still up for this:

🌙📚

And my freeform question 💋: how much fic would you say you read? Can you give us a sense?

Thanks again! 💖

🌙 What time of day do you prefer to write? Why?

Definitely night. It's when I'm most comfortable because I know I won't be interrupted, plus I think a lifetime of writing before bed to help myself fall asleep has just made it easier to get into that writing mood at night compared to during the day.

📚 Do you read your own fic?

Oh yeah lol, I am fundamentally writing for myself at all times. The reason my fics tend to be pretty well edited on a technical level is because I constantly re-read my wips just for fun and fix mistakes/adjust them as I do. In fact one of the downsides of posting fic on ao3 is that I feel I can't edit as I read them now lol, so re-reading them has a new frustrating component. (I know I technically could still edit them, but it feels like cheating. Unless I literally just posted it in which case I can't resist reading through and editing one more time anyway lol.)

💋 Freeform

It somewhat depends on what my current fandom is. Like when I was into mdzs I read so much, I spent about 2 hours in the bath reading wangxian fic almost every night for like 2 years lol. But in Mash fandom I read way less. I think it's mainly just because it's a much smaller fandom so there's less to choose from, and I tend to be picky.

Though recently, like in the past year or so, I've been reading much less in general due to my schedule shifting, changing my habits, etc. So in previous small fandoms with slim pickings I usually branched out, read fic in old fandoms I used to be into, got into side fandoms to read fic there, etc, but more recently I just haven't really been reading much of anything except non-fiction.

But yeah like as a lifetime average I’ve read so much fanfic it’s ridiculous, i’ve probably read something like, almost every day for 20 years.

[shatterthefragments]

5, 6, 9, 21, 23 and 37 (I'm p sure those were it, I'm on mobile shshdh)

Thank you! Music asks

5. Top 3 played songs?

1. Disposable Fix by The Plot In You

2. I Love You, I’m Trying by grandson

3. Atlas by Friday Pilots Club

(From on repeat)

1. Endless Riots by Reece young, cane hill

2. Sugar honey ice & tea by BMTH

3. Blood Sport ftrb by Sleep Token

(From short term)

1. Kingdom of Cards by Bad Omens

2. Nazareth by Sleep Token

3. IDWT$ by Bad Omens

(From medium term)

1. ego death by Polyphia ft Steve Vai

2. Granite by sleep token

3. My love mine all mine by mitski

(From long term)

In my own opinion:

1. blood sport (both versions) from sleep token

2. Disposable fix from the plot in you

3. Fade by holywatr

6. Three favorite genres of music?

So. The quintessential question is: what is a genre? I mean? I guess I tend to go towards rock and some subgenres(?) of metal/metalcore at the moment?

Looking at wrappeds: modern rock, modern alternative rock, pop; pop, modern alternative rock, alt z; pop, modern rock, metal core; dance pop, modern alternative rock, video game music

So. I guess I’ll choose Modern (alternative?) rock, pop, and metalcore?

9. Favorite concert you’ve attended?

Favourite with another person was Noah Kahan that I went to with my cousin (in place of the sister bc she had a cheer thing come up) and it was the perfect venue with seats and dancing and good drinks (only venue I’ve been able to just buy a glass of pineapple juice at! And I love going back to this one :)) and was such an amazing little trip we had together! (Literally we were in the hostel trying to learn one song ahead of the show bc it was the sister who wanted to go and so I was going to take her) I think this was the Busyhead tour :)

On my own: …this has to be split into smaller or larger venue.

For a larger venue: either Sleep Token or Halestorm/Volbeat. Truly astounding~ both sound even better (somehow) live (ok can’t really speak for volbeat I don’t listen to them as much and only started after seeing them)

For a smaller venue: probably grandson (even though physically I was Suffering and was unsure if I’d even make it there) or maybe Finger Eleven bc it was my very first and hooked me to continue going to concerts :)

21. A song that needs to play loud?

Hmmm. So. I. Hmm.

So I have. Possible slight hearing loss from mostly being in food service my entire working life BEEPS AND ALARMS GALORE (coming up on a decade pretty soon) and probably the damn fog horn from sailing. But at the same time im very sensitive?? Like when I use headphones or earbuds it’s almost always on the quietest volume I can have it on and even then it’s sometimes too loud/intense. I’ve fiddled with both lowering all the EQ in Spotify and in my phone’s Audio Settings to get it a bit quieter. (Like the health app says it’s ~48 decibels instead of 60-62 for when I have headphones connected.) something something I wish it was acceptable to wear earplugs freaking everywhere. But in fresh food we aren’t allowed bc it could “fall out into the food” (and also customer service) (I have so many pairs. Some of which would NOT fall out. The others I haven’t opened yet :P) (I don’t blame concert going for this on account of wearing earplugs. But. Anyway)

All that to say: I don’t usually change the volume (at least consciously) for specific songs?

Actually.

Hmmm let me think if I turn the volume up in the car if I’m driving and a song comes on.

Any song that has a breakdown or a section I love to sing along with 💖

But even so I tend to mostly turn music up when I’m on the highway and there’s more background noise and down at slower speeds. This goes for if there’s a lot of background noise when I’m listening to music at home or on the bus/walking too.

Or: perhaps: Sleep Token’s Rain bc I hadn’t heard the scream there until I turned it way up on the highway home one drive bc I was previously like “so nice of them to give IV an additional screamy part 🥰 “ and then it was. Wait. Maybe it’s in the original song too. And uh. Turns out it was. (I doubled the volume to notice it the first time 😬)

Though I will fully admit that if im in a mood and need the music to surround my very essence I will turn it up regardless of ambient noise levels. The MULTIPLE drives home where im screaming along to Blood Sport on loop are fucking unreal 😬

23. A song by an artist with a voice that you love?

Admission: if I don’t love your voice, or at least find it pleasant, *most* of the time im not going to listen to what you’re singing.

Dynasty by Rina Sawayama is the first that came to mind.

Make Me Wanna Die by The Pretty Reckless

Jaws Sleep Token

Welcome to the Show Adam Lambert

Millie Warm the Kettle Rabbitology

27. A song that has many meanings to you?

…so many…

There’s Blame Candy’s Pathetic (which I haven’t been able to listen to for years bc it wasn’t healthy for me at that point)

(Literally most of Sleep Token and Bad Omens and The Plot In You’s discography tbh)

Mayhaps Northlane’s Clockwork.

[cloudyscreams]

what is the consensus on hugtto season i wonder

so far i think its one of the weakest seasons ive seen... im watching it mostly to see white and black in action (and because the mid season cures designs have me in a clutch) but i was so surprised by the transformation and attack sequences...maybe its the music because the visuals are pretty standard for later seasons but the transformations are underwhelming as hell + precure was always a little awkward with names but all the "hagyu" sounds disrupt the flow so badly...

attacks are lowkey weird too, heart for you makes me shiver for some reason (in a bad way) like what is that...

i also just got to the episode where they got the swords and 1) design? absolute whack. if you are making this to sell the toys at least make the said toys appealing (im unashamed of owning many precure items and some of them were made RIGHT! and even if some of them are a miss, namely most mid-season cures special ones, i feel like every season had at least one solid item) 2) whats up with the random music theme again...not only it was already used like what, 3 times at the very least? its probably the most random theme they could choose (dont tell me its because of the band guy, they dont even have the trumpet) 3) the attack itself ???????? so weird ??????? graphics weird, poses awkward, orchestra name will never live up to heartcatch's orchestra...........im going to scream

i was originally going to say i think it has some strong characters but honestly im not even sure how i feel about it because i forget how great some of the previous seasons charas were i think they are definitely one of my fav casts so far though! maybe its the bond (definitely worth noting i love them more than half of the princess cast + they feel a little less one-dimensional than mahou tsukai and i will kill for mahou tsukai girls), maybe its the smaller cast but i feel like everyone gets to shine somewhat equally without it feeling like we are going through the checklist harry is also a welcome addition because there are no weird vibes (cough cough yes precure could never cough cough) despite him branding himself as an ikemen and objectively being the "attractive man of the season" loved how he said hana is still growing!! go ahead king, be the big brother you are despite being dissed at every corner!

i also get the future theming in the season but i feel like it overlaps with princess a bit too much...and princess definitely did it better. making capitalistic hell an enemy was a good decision but its obviously treated as "capitalism is good if you are overworking yourself" and i hate that. i can accept the babies propaganda but i will not stand with capitalism promotion in this lmao

speaking of the babies propaganda, i dont hate it as much as i thought i would! i dont hate babies at all (im a proud auncle?? unt??? lmao) but i was worried it would be a bit heavy on the "wow go have babies right now because its so fun" message. i guess its more....educational? if anything, mostly about growth stages, and hugtan IS cute and is no more 'annoying' than any of the previous baby mascots like chiffon and haa-chan (who i both love dearly might i add)

anyways im so conflicted on the season, i wouldnt say its boring enough to stop watching but its harder to stomach without the excitment of good transformations

OH but i must say, fight choreography is good!!! definitely a saving point especially coming after a la mode

[thesingingrevolution]

some of you people are just thinly veiled ww antis.

i cannot believe in this day and age after EVERYTHING we’ve been through, there’s any questions as to whether or not this is the move for him. not just for him, for everyone. building a solid solo career to guarantee a successful future regardless of what happens. in a perfect world everyone is treated fairly, whether it be getting enough work or enough rest. i believe we all have our grievances, and they, for the most part, valid.

this applies to everyone in nct, everyone in kpop, everyone who is a celebrity. you could extend this to regular people and say it’s a good idea to have a solid career regardless of what area you’re in. but in kpop specifically, the industry moves so fast. there are groups who are hugely successful that debuted less than 5 years ago being called flops because there’s newer shinier groups that everyone is obsessed with now. the 7 year curse is generous for many groups, since it’s so common for groups to lose members earlier, or the group to disband before then for whatever reason.

especially as a foreign idol. this is so important. i am overjoyed that yuta started doing the same. i think it’s brilliant to ensure individual fame and success while still having the security of a group. i pray nct doesn’t get smaller because they are my favorite group and i want to have them in my life always. i love them all and i want them to be happy and together. but due to circumstances that none of us can really control, there is a chance the group will get smaller. and in the case that certain people leave, i want them to be happy and successful no matter what they choose to do. i’ll be heartbroken and devastated but it’s the reality of loving anything, that you can get hurt. lol that got deep but in all seriousness, having any sort of emotional investment in anything, ESPECIALLY SOMETHING LIKE KPOP 😭 is bound to pose challenges.

i’ve realized that many permanent groups are just like temporary groups. permanent groups have the benefit of time, and more likely contract extensions, but ultimately, it’s all about making a name for yourself and guaranteeing a future career if/when the group is over.

i’m just laughing thinking about what it’s like if ww turned down opportunities in favor of…… whatever sm is (not) doing.

like imagine the editors of elle magazine are like yo bro, want to be on the cover?? and whoever organizes paris fashion week or valentino partners or whatever is like hey do u want to come to our exclusive event where you can get a lot of exposure?? some people really want ww to be like no thanks ☺️ im just gonna hang out here and wait for my company to remember my group exists even though my fans have been begging for the bare minimum since 2016 and i have never been properly cared for or utilized even though im popular talented charming and beautiful 😇

you don’t think i’d love to see him with them all the time???? every other hour i post about how much i miss NCT WINWIN. i miss him. i miss him so much. it’s not fun, it’s not easy. but he’s my fav, i want him to do well, i want to see him succeed, i want him to do what he needs to do. and yes i pray every night that he will be fully present for this nct 2023 thing.

…lastly. going back to the anti thing. so many beg and hope and pray for their fav to have solo activities. but when someone else does all the sudden he’s abandoning the group 🤨 ok.

“why isn’t winwin here” “wayv is basically 5 now” “nct is a part time job for him” if you paid attention to him and actually cared you would know he loves his group and his members and their music. he always promotes wayv when on solo schedules, talks about how grateful he is for weishennies/nctzens/yunqis, and has a wonderful relationship with the other guys. i’m sure he would be more present if sm didn’t plan things 2 hours before they happen.

have some cute pics of wayv in hong kong today 🥰💕

[yandereloversblog]

Ooooo! Hi hi!! I have a small request for some characters of your choice! ( but if you can, could you please include yan!DJMM? It’s alright if not! I just don’t see him in a yandere nor anyone writing for him which i am saddened by. ) w/ a animtronic darling who’s a scrap? Like- they hide in the vents to avoid their “death” ( im not sure what else to call it ) and run into each of them while running away from the other? I love your blog!<3

Love,

~ 🎠

𝐘𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐄!𝐃𝐉 𝐌𝐮𝐬𝐢𝐜 𝐌𝐚𝐧, 𝐖𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐰 -> 𝚂𝚌𝚛𝚊𝚙𝚙𝚎𝚍 𝚊𝚗𝚒𝚖𝚊𝚝𝚛𝚘𝚗𝚒𝚌 𝙳𝚊𝚛𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚐

───────•°˖~❉᯽❉~˖°•───────

> 𝗙𝗮𝗻𝗱𝗼𝗺: 𝙵𝚒𝚟𝚎 𝙽𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝𝚜 𝙰𝚝 𝙵𝚛𝚎𝚍𝚍𝚢'𝚜 2, 𝚂𝚎𝚌𝚞𝚛𝚒𝚝𝚢 𝙱𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚌𝚑

> 𝗖𝗵𝗮𝗿𝗮𝗰𝘁𝗲𝗿: 𝙳𝙹 𝙼𝚞𝚜𝚒𝚌 𝙼𝚊𝚗, 𝚆𝚒𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎𝚍 𝙵𝚛𝚎𝚍𝚍𝚢, 𝚆𝚒𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎𝚍 𝙱𝚘𝚗𝚗𝚒𝚎, 𝚆𝚒𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎𝚍 𝙵𝚘𝚡𝚢, 𝚆𝚒𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎𝚍 𝙲𝚑𝚒𝚌𝚊, 𝚆𝚒𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎𝚍 𝙶𝚘𝚕𝚍𝚎𝚗 𝙵𝚛𝚎𝚍𝚍𝚢

> 𝗪𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀: 𝚈𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝙱𝚎𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚒𝚘𝚛, 𝚃𝚘𝚡𝚒𝚌 𝙱𝚎𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚒𝚘𝚛 , 𝚄𝚗𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚕𝚝𝚑𝚢 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚃𝚘𝚡𝚒𝚌 𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚍𝚜𝚎𝚝, 𝙼𝚊𝚗𝚒𝚙𝚞𝚕𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚟𝚎 𝙱𝚎𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚒𝚘𝚛, 𝙼𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝚖𝚞𝚛𝚍𝚎𝚛.

> 𝗧𝘆𝗽𝗲 𝗢𝗳 𝗖𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗻𝘁: 𝙷𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚌𝚊𝚗𝚘𝚗

───────•°˖~❉᯽❉~˖°•───────

•I'll always write for the less written characters whenever it comes to letting me choose you know XD-

•ALSO DJMM is a very unexplored character for me so this, my first time writing him, will come out a bit weak. I make this man mute to begin with because I don't know how he'd talk- a few tips would be nice after :'D

•I've noticed I write them too human like and I'm tired of hiding it 💀

───────•°˖~❉᯽❉~˖°•───────

-> 𝐃𝐉 𝐌𝐮𝐬𝐢𝐜 𝐌𝐚𝐧:

The lil' music man probably found you first and alerted him.

Might have played some soothing tunes through the vents to get you to calm down and come out.

Proud that you're trying so hard to survive, good job!

His protocol would say to report you to the STAFF but... DJMM likes your presence... Like REALLY likes it. So he decided to keep you around.

You hide way more securely when you're with him, DJMM is really huge so there's no way for the STAFF to even think you're somewhere close by.

Sometimes the smaller music man's that hide in the vents linger on parts and services to find parts, maybe you could use them to repair yourself.

DJMM would help, he really would but he doesn't know anything about it and doesn't want to ruin you further.

Just means he'll be even more protective because of it...

Whenever DJMM hears someone talking about you just know the lil' music man will be told to scare the shit out of them... Then the person will be lured to DJMM while trying to get away and get squashed down.

DJMM doesn't take kindly to bad stuff being said about his new favourite bot.

Also you know you're never leaving his grasp right?

-> 𝐖𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐅𝐫𝐞𝐝𝐝𝐲:

Will literally be watching you a lot before he approaches you, needing to know how you are first hand so he can get to -manipulate- know you better.

He's sweet, quiet and even a little funny, telling puns he told kids a long while ago and hopes that you like them.

"You're so cute... Hm? No one was there darling, keep your focus on me."

You're gonna start feeling like a pet by the way you're treated and patted. Even more so with how Withered Freddy doesn't let you know anything. You've got NO information on the outside world.

"You don't need to know anything, you have me here to take care of you."

Will literally tell you the worst about the others, even his own group so you stay away from them.

And when you disobey him, Withered Freddy gets upset. And by upset I mean you'll be left alone somewhere which equals to possibly encountering the others. The devil's reincarnated into different bodies as Withered Freddy says.

So of fear you'll get hurt even further you're gonna end up seeking him out.

Obviously this is gonna make Withered Freddy happy- um... Satisfied that his plan worked.

His tactic is to make you terrified of everything around you so you come to him for protection.

"That's it darling, you should listen to me unless you want to get hurt further."

-> 𝐖𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐁𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐢𝐞:

He rarely approaches anyone so it will take a while for him to get used to you.

Facepuns incoming. A lot of them.

Will start clinging onto you once he's comfortable but not admit it.

"I'm just... trying to help you stand..."

A thing he does is have his ears immediately flop down to hide his face- or what's left of it anyways.

It's clearly to show how he's embarrassed or flustered.

He's very quiet and possessive. Although he lingers around you so obsessively you don't really talk to each other- well he doesn't.

So you'll be surprised when he attacks the other bots or people that get too close to you out of literally nowhere.

"Why are you so shocked? They... Would've hurt you if I didn't do anything."

You didn't even realize before but now Withered Bonnie has actually begun talking to you more.

He's even joking around with you way more and clinging shamelessly

He's adamant on protecting you but he's not scared to admit that he enjoys your presence anymore.

"We can stay together forever so you can be safe."

-> 𝐖𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐂𝐡𝐢𝐜𝐚:

She feels useful for actually taking you under her wing. To Withered Chica it's like she has a purpose again.

You're gonna get babied a lot. Withered Chica relates to you a lot because you both are scrapped and at the bring of not existing anymore.

Protective mother hen-

"[Y/N], where are you going? No, no it's dangerous, please stay by my side."

You bet she's not gonna let you go anywhere without her.

When you're alone she's just cooing and trying to make you feel better, her focus is on only you.

But when you're with others it's like her personality does a 180, there she's too busy glaring and keeping everyone away.

Both bots and humans should take it as a threat when Withered Chica is around and you're with her.

But she'd never hurt you! In fact, you're the only one coming out unharmed out of this.

"Hm? The blood? No need to worry about me [Y/N], just the new security guard who had an accident..."

-> 𝐖𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐅𝐨𝐱𝐲:

Probably has been out of order for so long and just accepted it. Finds you amusing for trying to stay alive and kicking.

Likes hanging out with you a lot after hours, even when the store is open would just talk to you.

You didn't even realize it before he became your literal bodyguard.

Withered Foxy doesn't throw hands. But he's gonna have other bots keep their distance after showing how he can when he desires too.

"Ye best stay away from 'em. If ye know what's good fer ye."

Toy Bonnie tried messing with you and he left with a cracked casing and a lot of wires coming out of him.

Gonna put another bot on Mangle's state... Or a person. Leave them a bloody mess for the others to clean up if they mess with you or even say anything he can hear.

Withered Foxy doesn't talk much, but he's a secure shoulder you can lean on.

Man is so soft when it comes to you. Teases a little -flirts-, a little -very- possessive and a quiet -murderous- sweetheart.

"Heh, ye're so pretty darlin'... My pretty lil' swee'heart."

What do you mean you don't want him to guard you 24/7? He will. He's been in a broken state longer and he's used to it but your case is different. You're so fragile.

"Who else but yer captain can protect ye darlin'?"

-> 𝐖𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐆𝐨𝐥𝐝𝐞𝐧 𝐅𝐫𝐞𝐝𝐝𝐲:

He's a spirit, probably found you by accident and decided fuck it, I'll stay by their side.

Scaring anyone that dares comes close to you.

Withered Goldie is a little colder and more nonchalant than his other version but his protectiveness is turned up.

"What are you doing in there again? Come on, get out."

Might seem harsh and bossy but I promise he just doesn't know how to properly express himself.

Puts your comfort above all else, and because you're a scrapped animatronic it makes him fuss even more... In that confusing kind of way.

"Just- stay put. Stay RIGHT here and listen to me, I'm doing it for your own good."

If you end up being soft on him is when he's going to melt, not good with words but good with actions instead. And although he looks kinda mad sometimes he'll never turn away any sort of affection.

"... No, you don't have to stop... I like it."

Might try to repair parts of you that are too damaged.

"I'll protect you and I'll keep you safe, you just have to stay put."

[coughloop]

hi joan i would love if you could talk about espresso clarity more!! or like more in general what you look for in an espresso calibration/dial in THANKS!!!!!!

Simplist answer I can give:

Espresso clarity is more than anything else a way to talk about the detectable flavours in a beverage. High clarity means that you can taste more nuanced flavours, like blueberry and milk chocolate for example, while a lower clarity drink would just taste muddled/muddy and indistinct. You will get higher clarity by reducing the amount of solids in your coffee by either filtering more out or increasing the ratio of water to coffee used to dilute what you've already pulled out.

Now here's some more detailed information, it will probably only make sense if you have some experience with dialling in coffee already and know what changing grind size and ratios do:

Clarity is something often put on charts like these ones as an opposite to body (as in thickness of the beverage)

While I dont think that's a perfect summation (and that also these charts are out of order over simplifications that don't actually really make any sense) I think it's fair to say that most often when making a coffee drink, you are probably going to be choosing to lean towards one end or the other.

To illustrate that, here's a quick chart I made that focuses on 1. grind size, and 2. filtration (click to enlarge):

This ignores a lot of other important parts of making coffee (agitation, contact time, temperature, pressure applied, immersion vs percolation, yadda yadda yadda), but for our purposes it gives a smaller window to put our expectations into. If we're talking strictly about espresso it means we're sitting somewhere in here:

We know espresso has some filtration due to the metal basket trapping most (but not all) of the coffee grinds in the portafilter, but because of the tiny holes it will likely never be as clear as a coffee filtered through a paper filter which catches all of the grounds except what has literally been dissolved into the water, creating the flavour and colour of the final brew (if you want to understand more about that google "coffee TDS", its a lot to explain on top of this).

With this expectation of flavour clarity and body we can now get to work dialling in and figure out exactly how we want to balance the two.

My preference generally is a shot that sits at or around a ratio of 2.5:1 water in the final cup to the amount of coffee in the portafilter, so a pretty standard shot would be something like 17.5g dry coffee in, 44g liquid espresso out (in about 30s). I know this recipe will probably be decently high clarity, while lighter in body than a traditional 2:1 because the extra water dilutes the amount of solids that have been dissolved into the liquid, meaning I will have a thinner body coffee, while hopefully being able to get a higher clarity of flavour.

If it tastes sour and strong, like all I experience is a gross, sharp flavour on my tongue, and there's no distinctly pleasant flavours present, I would want to improve the clarity by either increasing the ratio of water to coffee or by fining up my grind to pull more out of the beans.

If it tastes somewhat clear at the beginning, but its super limp and weak and leaves a bitter, chalky taste in my mouth, I would want to do the opposite of above.

Either way im aiming to move out of the fringes of gross coffee and into the central sweet spot. Its also never this simple though, and you have to make sure you're using the right water makeup, a good quality grinder, consistent measurement and techniques, all that jazz.

I also find compass tools to be very helpful for finding a more basic dial, not specifically trying to accentuate anything in the coffee but just to get a good, sweet shot, with a healthy mixture of body and clarity.

These are my two favourites to glance at when I forget what I'm trying to do:

please let me know if you have any questions this is honestly kind of a ramble but I'm hapy to go into detail about anything specific that's confusing this post is just getting very long lol

[cornfarm]

summertime cicadas

saiki kusuo x reader

word count: 1.6k

synopsis: you go to saiki’s place to play some video games. saiki learns a bit about your dirty laundry.

cw: suggestions of past sexual abuse. it’s not explicitly stated but it’s heavily implied.

genre: fluff, hurt/comfort

reader is gender neutral!

===================================================

notes:

i’ve had this sitting in my drafts for a few weeks now, but i was never happy with it.

it’s implied that you and saiki are in week 2-4 of dating;;;

i have some other stuff in the works but im tired so notes r boring today

enjoy waaaaaa

===================================================

When Saiki and you were left alone together, the tension that hung in the air was fun and playful. Coy glances, the heart jittering brushes of skin, and the almost knowing smiles you two would shoot each other. This time around, it was heavy, and it weighed hefty on both your shoulders.

It was your first time over at his place since you had begun dating.

You had texted him: can i come over? i bought a new game i wanna play it with u

He was very happy you decided to make the first move, he didn’t want to make you feel uncomfortable. 

Immediately, the “devlivered” at the corner of your text changed to “read”. He hastily typed back: Sure, let me know when you’re here. My parents aren’t home.

You saw letters on your screen, but you squinted your eyes shut upon them entering your field of vision. You had thrown your phone across the room, too nervous to look at his response. Tentatively picking it up, your heart nearly exploded at his words. You quickly respond: okay! be there soon :)

Saiki suddenly felt a bit on edge, realization finally striking him that you were about to be in his presence. In his bedroom. Alone. 

Saiki Kusuo never really felt things too intensely, so to feel it strike at his heart and stomach was almost a bit too much for his liking. 

Saiki wound up sitting patiently at the dining room table, using his telekensis to pick things up, rearrange ornaments and fine china, and clean up trash. The last thing he wants is you coming over when the place is a mess.

The doorbell rang, not that he needed it to know you were here. Beckoning you in, you pull out a small disc box from your bag. 

“I heard really good reviews from it. I was interested in it since I liked the art style but I wanted to wait until people played it and reviews came out before I committed.”

He takes it from your hands to inspect it, “I’m not super interested in recent games, I like older ones a bit more. Indie ones too. I’ve heard that the gameplay is really compelling.”

“That’s okay, we can still play together, right?” You almost look a bit nervous. Saiki gnawed at the inside of his lip.

“Sure,” you don’t look satisfied, “I don’t mind, doing things with you is nice.”

The content expression on your face satisfies him. You follow him upstairs.

Then the tension settles. You’re so close, the pleasant floral scent from your detergent lingering where you walk. He peers behind you as you take in his room: simple, clean, minimalistic. It’s painfully in character. You smile, flopping face down on his bed.

“I’ve only ever been here with everyone else, it was so lively then, but it’s so different when it’s quiet!” You situate yourself so you’re sitting at the edge of his bed, legs dangling off the side.

“It’s the same room.”

“Yeah but, now it’s just me and you.”

“I suppose so.”

You watch as he peers to the wall, a bit away from you.

“What, you’re not nervous are you? Do I make you, THE Saiki Kusuo nervous?”

He clicks his tongue, and begins stalking towards you. He stops right in front of you, shins nearly touching the mattress of his bed. He looks down, expression deadpanned like usual. Perhaps thats precisely why you got so flustered. Your hands coming to clasp politely in your lap, you look up at him, determined to hold eye contact.

“Mhm,” he smirks, “you do. What will you do about it?”

He watches as your lips part into a small ‘o’, before you turn your head down and begin to pout. He’ll spare you this time. The small proximity between you settles in; he should get out of here, nervousness is finally catching up, it’s a bit too much for him to handle. For such a cocky one-liner, he really can’t keep it together. He exits his room for a moment with a brief “wait here”.

He hears you let out a sigh down the hall. Taking the chance to inspect his belongings, you peer under his bed, nothing suspicious there, before making your way to his desk. There’s his computer, a nice leather desk chair, a lamp, and a small empty mug that holds pens, pencils, and highlighters. You thumb through them.

He re-enters his room, quietly opening the door, but just enough so where you hear. Outstreching his arm, he hands you a bottle of iced tea.

“This is,” inspecting the label, “you don’t usually drink these, right?”

Saiki stays quiet.

“So you got it for me? You remembered I liked it?” 

He nods.

You beam at him, mutter your gratitude, and pull out the games box.

Placing the disc onto the disc reader, and pushing it in, you start up the game, and watch the intro animation. 

“Yeah, the graphics are really nice,” he comments.

You adjust yourself, sitting on top a cushion on the floor, he moves a bit closer. 

Skipping though dialog, tutorials, and the first few levels of the game, Saiki controller finally begins responding. 

“I’m sorry, I thought the multiplayer feature would be available from the start.”

“It’s okay, you can pick first”

“Hmm...” you pause, brows furrowing in focus as you look through the different player avatar options. Finally, you turn to him and smile, “this one! Your turn.”

Saiki bites at the inside of his lip, again, moving his thumb over the joystick, he picks his avatar.

It’s nice, it’s quiet, the sound of cicada’s chirping outside his bedroom window, and the soft hum of his fan are gentle. Neither of you are talking about grand things like aspirations and inhibitions, but you didn’t have to. The soft, casual tone of conversation is something Saiki’s making sure to cherish. The game’s fun, Saiki is enjoying himself, he enjoys you. 

But tension still looms heavy overhead. You aren’t the only one who was thinking about it, how close you two were, how your elbows kept bumping, the small,and the way you both tried to get just a millimeter closer.

Saiki knew what you wanted, but he couldn’t pull himself to take initiative. Why? Was nervousness just another curse set out to plague him?

He’s reading your mind, he knows without a doubt you want to, so why is he so nervous to reach out and touch you? He wants to run away.

“Saiki?”

Your voice broke his thoughts, he turns to you. “Are you okay?”

He does it without thinking, slowly placing the controller down and putting his palms on your shoulders. 

“I’m just not used to this,” he finally says, “like, dating and all that.”

You wrap your fingers around his wrists, “that’s okay, I’ve never dated anyone either, we can just take it slow. We have time.” You reassure, “I’m nervous too,” voice smaller than before. He lifts his hands off, hovering them in front of you, debating on where he should put them. Should he put them back on your shoulders, or would that be weird? Maybe it’s okay if he takes your hands into his, but right now your hands are...

His vision finally focuses, and he looks at your hands, defensively positioned in front of your chest with your palms facing him. You’re looking at him with a half smile, but your brows are pursed down. You’re watching him very carefully.

Your thoughts still, pausing until he moves again, taking your hands in his own. He’s confused, why do you look so skittish?

You look visibily confused that he takes your hands. He’s granted one thought:

He’s not gonna do anything, see? He’s just holding my hands, that’s it. He’s not gonna do anything.

Do what? What do you mean? Do what?

“What do you mean?” He blurts out, voice ringing through your head.

Astonishment paints your face. Shit, you didn’t think you said anything out loud. Could he read your mind? He chooses not to say anything.

You shake your arms, he retracts his hands.

“I’ve just had bad experiences with people in the past, I got nervous, that’s all. I’m sorry.”

Oh. Your internal dialog isn’t as pleasant as the words you choose to say. 

“Maybe I’ll tell you about it more in the future,” you still have the strength to smile at him?

He reaches out to touch you again, but never connecting. He hesitates this time, fingers hovering over your forearm. 

“I’m not really interested in that sort of stuff. I wouldn’t do that to you. I won’t do that to you,” he corrects.

With a smile pained with melancholy, you shift yourself forward, wrapping your arms around his torso, burying your face into his shoulder, legs finding their way between his. He wastes no time wrapping his own arms around your back, pressing your chest closer to his own. Your hearts pound against each other, breathing syncing as you both exhale a sigh. 

“I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“I know,” your voice is muffled. 

You stay like that for a few moments. Cicada’s chirping, fan blowing, there’s nothing to say- the silence is comforting in it’s own way.

You finally pull away from him, voice much brighter, “but I’m not ready to kiss you yet, I think my heart would explode!” He flushes red. Adjusting to sit back onto the cushion, you lean your weight onto his side. He tension has finally settled, and Saiki sighs contently. 

Saiki only uses his powers in ways to convinience himself. Fortunately, keeping you safe was more than convinient to him: it was the bare minimum- an absolute necessity. 

As soon as you leave, he’ll find the bastards that did it. 

[lovclyboncs]

Everything I Wanted 2/2 (F!Reader x Todoroki)

soulmate Au! Where your soulmate tattoo appears on your wrist after you touch your soulmate for the first time.

F!reader x Todoroki

F!Reader x Bakugou (brotp)

Plot: the reader is Todoroki’s soulmate. Todoroki rejected reader because he thought he was in love with Momo and didn’t want to let fate dictate his life. Now the two of them have a conversation that was long over due.

Part one

Before getting on with the story I want to give a huge thanks to everyone who reblogged and liked part one, it means the world to me that there is people out there who enjoyed my writing, and a big thank you to @dillybuggg and to @power-house-fan12 for encouraging me to write another part sending so much love to you guys!!! 💗💗💗

“Someday?”

“Someday.”

"Todoroki-san, I met my soulmate."

"oh."

" I think we should come clean to our classmates, i really want to see where this goes"

Todoroki couldn’t blame her. They were foolish to think their puppy love could stand strong against fate.

Todoroki and Momo had been walking on eggshells around each other during their first year at UA. They were attracted to each other even though they weren’t each other’s destined partner. Trust them they checked, they had been so hopeful only for it to crumble when their left wrists were still void of black Ink even after they had their first kiss.

They had been laying low with their blossoming relationship until the fateful day Shoto and (y/n) first touched.

Shoto didn’t know what to think of (l/n). She didn’t stand out as a person or a hero in training, so when they were paired up on a project there seemed to be a never ending silence between them, with his lack of social skills and her lack of- well everything they didn’t even know where to begin. After a couple of awkward questions about what they wanted to do, they were able to get started, and he thought then that (l/n) wasn’t so bad, but when he dropped his pencil and they both reached for it, that’s when it all went south. He remembers the stinging feeling he felt on his wrist and couldn’t help flinching at the uncomfortable sensation.

He didn’t need to look at his wrists to know what had happened and he didn’t need to think twice before grabbing his things and giving a quiet excuse for his sudden need to be very far away from (l/n).

It wasn’t until he was locked away safely in his room that he dared look at his wrist, and there it was in bold black ink, in a surprisingly illegible yet legible font, how does someone achieve that? ‘(Y/n) (l/n)’.

He’s not quite sure how long he stared at it, but he knows that by the time he was able to organize his thoughts there were birds chirping out side welcoming the new day.

He had rejected her.

She had been okay with it.

He didn’t tell Momo who his soulmate was, but he did tell her that he didn’t want to continue hiding their relationship. What was stopping them from sharing their happiness with the rest of the class? Momo believed they would be looked down on for not waiting on their soulmates. It wasn’t common for people to date anyone who wasn’t their soulmate, it was even more uncommon to reject a soulmate, but look at him, he did it and he was perfectly fine- they were perfectly fine.

Momo was the one who came up with the idea to draw on their soulmate tattoos, unaware of the fact that there already was a name on Todoroki’s wrist, unaware of the pain she was causing to that other half.

Coming clean to their classmates had gone surprisingly well, and Todoroki wasn’t sure how he felt about that, about that fact that (y/n) didn’t yell or question him on the why.

Why had he lied?

Why had he covered her up like she was something not worth looking at?

Why did he rub his relationship in her face?

Why not give them a chance if he was gonna chase something temporary?

Instead she had looked him in the eyes and gifted him a soft smile.

After everyone had scattered around the common area after their announcement, Todoroki decided to sit outside and take a breather.

He couldn’t help but sigh.

Thinking back to the day he and (y/n) first touched, he wished he hadn’t been such a coward.

He wished he had given her a chance to speak, because looking back now he realized that he did all the talking, he called all the shots not giving her a say in the matter.

She followed his wishes and yet he can’t help but want to be selfish and take it all back.

He had been wrong to think she had been lacking anything because she was everything. She was perfect to him, for him.

He couldn’t help the chuckle that escaped him.

Fate had told him she was his, a gift from the universe to cherish and like a spoiled brat he threw it away, ruined it. ‘Seems to run in the family’, he thought bitterly.

(Y/n) (L/n) was everything he wanted and he didn’t deserve her.

The worst part was that the person who helped him realize that was the hotheaded blonde of 1-A (now 2-A).

He was the one who brought out the best in (y/n) or maybe the only one who had bothered to listen, who had bothered to truly see her.

Todoroki couldn’t help but resent him for it yet he was grateful, because without Bakugou pushing her to open up, he would have never realized that he had shut the door on something beautiful without opening it.

“Why are you out here? Curfew is in 20 minutes” he heard her soft voice.

He didn’t reply and he felt her sit beside him on the stairs.

And there was silence.

What could he possibly say now?

Im sorry? That seemed too shallow

“It’s okay you know?” She began.

He finally listened.

“I’ll be honest, it had hurt- you had hurt me when you shut me out without giving me a chance to prove myself worthy of being on your wrist. I questioned if it had been something I did, something I didn’t do, or if it had been my appearance that had caused you to utter those words. Bakugou told me that it shouldn’t be something I beat myself over, that if it had been me that you would have told me, but you didn’t. You just told me that your heart belonged to another”

She stopped and finally looked at him, and he at her.

“ Im sorry things between you two didn’t work out how you wanted them to-” she had began, but he didn’t let her finish.

“Don’t. It’s not your fault, it’s mine. I thought I knew what I wanted and if I’m being honest I think I just wanted to be able to choose at least one thing for myself.” He said without thinking, it was time he stopped hiding from the truth, the selfish truth he hid under his not so pure love for Momo.

“Ever since I was born I have been nothing but a tool for my father. The just right child with the just right quirk. I wasn’t allowed to spend time with my siblings, I wasn’t allowed to play, I wasn’t allowed to make my own decision. It was always my father, and then I found out I wasn’t able to choose who I wanted to be with because apparently fate did that, so I would question what it is that I got to decide for myself

because if fate and my father made the decisions then what was I left with? What part of my life was actually mines for the taking?” He looked at the ground unable to continue meeting her eyes.

“So even if it’s not enough I do apologize, (y/n), for thinking so selfishly that I didn’t take into consideration the fact that you didn’t choose me either and that I didn’t try to make it easier for the both of us” he said clenching his fist to keep some sort of anchor on his mess of emotions.

Todoroki felt a small hand (or at least smaller that his own) lay on top of his own.

“Maybe we’ve both been going about this the wrong way? So what if we have each other’s name on our wrist? that doesn’t mean we should get married next week” (y/n) said in an attempt to lighten his load, to let him know that he didn’t need to beat himself over it just like she didn’t need to.

“ let’s just start as friends and see how things go and then maybe someday who knows” she shrugged her shoulders casually and flashed him a smile.

Todoroki looked at her and she at him.

He relaxed his hand that was underneath her and let himself hold her hand.

“Someday?” He asked

“Someday” she grinned.

(Y/n) cleared her throat and held her hand out for a handshake making him raise an eyebrow

“Hi my name is (y/n) (l/n) let’s be friends”

“I’m Shoto Todoroki, and I would like that very much”

“ I’m Aizawa, the teacher and you two need to get to bed”

“Yes sir!”