#im not really sure what’s going on with the perspective BUT I drew a mean middle finger

[captainyaps]

Son of Laertes ‘fuck off my lawn’ Odysseus doodle

[lampiridaes]

HELLO!!! iys me again heheh, id like to request ermm.. tsukasa and minori, with a s/o that RARELY shows affection by physical touch, BUT gets really clingy when theyre half awake or when theyre sick,,, though when they fully regained their consciousness/health,, they get embarrassed about it? thank yew :3!!

♬ now playing: "suddenly clingy"

-> when you've got a partner as aloof and reserved as you, can you really blame them for being so surprised?

★ — chars ; tsukasa , minori

★ — notes ; MWEHEHE HELLO AGAIN LYN (i hope thats ur name and im not misreading anything somehow huhu)!!! another tsukasa and minori req... rlly love writing them so im always grateful :3 DID U KNOW I DREW MINORI FOR MY CLASS PIN THING!?!?! my teacher was nice enough to print it out for everyone hehe... still have yet to receive it bc of break but just a fun little thing that happened!! hope u enjoy <3

★ — warnings ; implied fem!reader for minori (implies that reader also attends miyamasuzaka) , otherwise none!

★ — taglist ; @akitosheart , @mintchocaur (tsukasa!!)

affiliated with @virtualbookstore ★

★ track #1: tenma tsukasa

to put it simply, tsukasa was really surprised! just the night before, you were so calm and reserved, maybe holding his hand a few times. even kissing his cheek once or twice.

... but right now? after you just woke up? you're all over him. literally. he doesn't mind, please don't get him wrong! tsukasa finds it endearing, if anything. it's just...

"tsukasa... love you..."

feeling your entire body cling onto his with such desperation... he wants to question it, but at the same time, it might risk embarrassing you and making you back away again, which isn't what he wants at all!

though the embarrassment was basically inevitable, as 20 minutes or so later, you're back to your usual self, just a little more shy this time.

"oh, goodness... tsukasa, i'm sorry, i didn't-"

"not to worry, [name]! i don't mind it one bit!"

he knows that you don't show a lot of affection normally for a reason. maybe you're too shy, maybe you're uncomfortable with it. as much as he loves it when you do, tsukasa doesn't force you to do anything! sure, he'll ask once or twice every once in a while, but he's very understanding if the answer is no.

... though, if you do it when you're fully awake for the first time... expect him to suddenly get all quiet and freeze up. it's a good thing, no worries.

★ track #2: hanasato minori

minori's way of showing her love for you is mostly words of affirmation or gift giving, so she doesn't mind that you aren't too keen on physical affection!

that doesn't mean anything bad, of course! it's not like she doesn't want to hug you, hold you, or kiss you, it's just that... she's a little shy about it. which means your lack of physical affection works out just fine.

so you can imagine how perplexed she was when you started begging for her attention, holding her hand and asking her to stay with you when you got sick.

"minori, stay a little longer... i'll feel so much better if you're here..."

minori may be an idol now, but hearing compliments from someone she truly holds near and dear to her heart... might give her a heart attack.

... but she also really adores it. after all, it makes her feel loved and special, more so since it's coming from you, of all people.

with all the training and practices she needs to attend to nowadays, minori makes sure to leave cute, handwritten notes or sweet text messages to check up on you! if you're allowed to use your phone when you're sick, that is.

when you finally recover and go back to school, it's absolutely over for the both of you. minori gets flustered easily on her own, but now that you've also lost your cool, getting all red alongside her? it's quite a cute scene from an outsider's perspective.

... the outsiders being the rest of more more jump, of course. as silly and clumsy the two of you can be, you're really the perfect pair for each other.

[agerasiaa]

Hey! I just reread Glass Love Eclipse for the hundreth time and i have two questions that have been nagging at me for forever.

1. In the end scene, where Drew finds his star in Jake’s jacket, Jake claims he just found them in the halls and thought of them as pretty. Is he telling the truth or did he figure out it’s Drew’s and kept it as some sort of lucky charm or something?

2. Does Drew ever tell his friends he suffered from star tear disease? Or when they inevitably find out he turned colorblind he just makes up some excuse? And how do they react?

Sorry if im bothering you with this, i know it should be mostly to the readers interpretation, but i would really like to know the idk “canon” from the author. You dont have to answer if you dont want to! <3

Hi there! Don't worry, this didn't bother me at all - on the contrary, I'm very happy to see someone take an interest in my fanfiction!!

1. I did indeed leave it vague on purpose because in the case that I decided to never make a sequel to Glass Love Eclipse, I wanted the reader to be able to have the freedom to imagine their own preferred ending. But since you are asking directly - let me explain what's up with the stars from Jake's perspective (canonically).

The most important hint I left was that the color of the star in Jake's pocket is yellow. Yellow stars were the first stars that Drew spread around the school. And Jake happened to be the first person who noticed them: in that scene where Drew turns and rushes away to the bathroom when he sees Jake and Hailey - Jake noticed him walking away and automatically left to follow him. Then he thought better of himself and stopped. Before returning to Hailey, he noticed the yellow stars in the hallway. He did kind of associate the stars with Drew only because "it looked like they were left there on his wake" and they looked pretty so he decided to collect them. (Jake has since taken other colors too and he doesn't quite know why he is drawn to them.). But no, he has no idea what star tear disease is.

2. Drew wouldn't ever willingly tell anyone about the star tear disease. It's partly self-prevention - he thinks his feelings would be rejected which could cause him to go blind, and he is trying his best to avoid that. It's also because "eww, my embarrassing feelings would be exposed if I told anyone"

However, his condition is hard to hide and at some point eventually, someone would notice it. Drew would try his best to make excuses or just plainly be mean toward anyone who tried to make sure he was okay. Star tear disease is not hard to find if you know what to Google, and if someone saw Drew crying out the stars, he would be pretty much exposed. If someone took only a note of Drew's colorblindness, he could tell pretty convincing lies about it.

"How would they react" is a hard question to answer since it depends so much on who is the one reacting. Every character would have a different reaction. But I can say for sure that Jake would take it the hardest. He would be torn up about it, "Drew is colorblind and losing his vision because of me!!??" (And even if he didn’t know it was bc of him, he would be still the most worried one.)

Thank you for the question! The answer got a bit long haha since I really liked answering it :)

[lesbianrobin]

as a fellow nancy hater do you have tips for writing her without it hanging out? im writing robin pov and the urge to constantly have her think mean things is strong

honestly i don't know how i do it 😭 when i started writing nancy drew and the mystery of the magnetic closet, i was like Certain that everyone would be mad at me for being an obvious nancy hater and making her evil and stuff but everyone has been So supportive of that fic including nancy lovers. even when i had robin throw a book at her face. i think it being from nancy's pov helped because all of her shittiness in that fic has clear emotions behind it yknow?

i guess the main question that you should consider is whether these mean thoughts from robin contribute to the story, and how so. do they serve to develop robin's character? do they tell us more about her opinions and perspective? it's canon that robin thought nancy was a priss in s3, and she has the capacity to be bitchy and judgmental, so i don't think rude thoughts about nancy are necessarily out of character, it's just a matter of what those thoughts do in the broader context of the story. if they just serve to bully nancy without really doing anything for robin i'd consider going back and reevaluating, but it's pretty dependent on what your story is, what goals you have for robin and nancy as characters, and what the tone of the whole thing is. i'd also suggest making sure robin isn't Only mean about nancy and she's occasionally rude about other people too, unless her having a problem with nancy is plot-relevant. good luck and have fun writing!!

[keefwho]

July 15 - 2024 Monday

11:12pm

4/10

No cleaning this morning, I might stop the scheduled cleaning time or treat it differently. Or maybe it's the one thing I should try to stick to no matter what to start my day off with some discipline and sort of self care. I had a snack of cheetos and pears for breakfast since my body didn't want to eat.

After work today BD wanted some time with me to ask about some stuff which was a little surprising. We had a deep talk about a lot of things, both her and my issues. The topic of what it means to be a social leader came up and I think my view of it really benefitted her. Likewise, having someone there to understand and reaffirm some of the things I've been up to was nice. We went for about 2.5 hours, past my lunch time but I much preferred the chat. Lunch ran me extra late too but I reminded myself that the afternoon stuff I have scheduled isn't super important, not like commissions.

All I did was the request today and about 10 minutes finishing something personal because I had a headache and was kinda tired. I was with BR and friends in her Discord server for most of the evening except for one point I went to mega-goon which was a mistake, I wasn't really feeling it. I've learned that self pleasure is one of my coping mechanisms and maybe only slightly a problem. I dont do it a lot but the way I do it usually feels kinda bad so I'm trying to be aware of that.

Hanging out in the server was fun. I've been stressed a lot today and struggling with the classic loneliness but I've learned a few times that forcing myself to stick around who I know are good people will usually do me good. And it did, I had a bit of fun by the end even with everything still bothering me. We watched the new Wild Manes show and BR drew her pony as a WM horse. I'm going to do that too but make myself female since stallions haven't been shown in the show yet. I've also never represented my sona as female before (because I'm not) so that'll be interesting. Not trans btw. BD literally asked me that today for some reason which was hilarious, she hasn't even heard the comments I make elsewhere about wishing I was born a woman. But I really am okay being who I am, I just wish I wasn't lumped into "men" sometimes.

Im in a weird place in my life right now because everything has changed so quickly and I'm in a lot of legitimate pain. I also might be really hyperfocused on what is happening and need perspective. But what I know for sure is that instead of thinking I'm in the wrong and that my pain isn't justified, I'm accepting that it is and that it simply hurts. Its going to keep hurting and all I can let it do is heal. I think I'm handling everything maturely, I am doing my best to be fair to myself and others. I want to heal what has been damaged as opposed to abandoning everything. I just hope other parties are willing to do that too because I'm committed. Thats the biggest thing I worry about.

[unproduciblesmackdown]

ben eventually gets more indepth context for some stuff once winston shares the fact that he’s autistic

[iamcompletelyrandom]

// TCF CHAPTER 644 - 688 SPOILERS

what if the reason the disguised hilsman suspiciously smiled when saying that he wasnt apart of the thames household / his last name wasnt thames is because thames wasnt always the original name of the household or something??

(that would explain why he smiled even when saying that he isnt involved yet saying so much about cale’s mother.. i do not think he is lying or would lie so pointlessly, no him and ron are too alike in that, but enough to be twisting the question? absolutely.)

if not then we do know he is also somehow related to the thames household, judging from his hatred towards hunters and how closely hes talked about cale’s birth mother

cale also mentioned that he wasn’t white star, but also not someone he has met before, yet still friendly to him and deruth, as well as loyal people serving the henituse family (but not to violan, judging from the way he tried to grab her neck once he was discovered)

actually speaking of their conversation together, he talked about the henituse values from an outsiders perspective but was suprisingly knowledgeable about it, not only that but talked about the duchess position and not violan herself... does he have familiarity with it, or is he just knowledgable?

not only that but being able to take down a vice captain and capture him as well as notice when someone is watching him, he isnt hostile either and seems.. old? from violans perspective... and he was able to notice (or atleast know beforehand) that deruth was replaced with white star before cale and violan were... (either familiar with deruth enough to notice or familiar enough with white star to notice/know) (679)

he was smiling as he looked towards the diary too... does he know what it means? does he recognize it?

he is related to the thames, but he is not a hunter nor have the a power similar to annual rings of life (judging from the way he talked about cale’s mother with cale, he either doesnt know that cale is a transmigiator/regressor or simply does not care enough. however judging from the way he did not ask cale who he was in cale’s body like drew did in her diary, or expose who he was in front of on and hong, or say that his time is warped like some white thing, im going to assume it is the first option)

... or perhaps maybe hes the eldest orabuni that young drew thames mentioned during the trial for the annual rings of life

“– I have this weird feeling that I will like you even though we just met! You oddly look like that half-witted fool Deruth, but you also look similarly handsome as my eldest orabuni!” (664)

(and we all know how important the things that the ancient powers’ trials’s say go) (looking at you fire of destruction and shield)

that would explain why he mentioned that deruth might be able to recognize who he is and point him out, (why ever else might deruth know him if he is not either extended family or friends to his late wife? maybe relying on similarity as sibling?) (also what does he want to say to deruth? something so important that hes faked and disguised himself coincidently when white star was running around? (and more importantly was it related to thames and the research and information the household was doing, especially with white star as a reincarnator?)

not to mention why hes so familiar to cale’s late mother (clumsy like his mother, matching scary smiles mean something bad is about to happen (and mentioning these habits was when his mother was in her youth? clearly he was close to her)) (688)

maybe atleast a family member then perhaps? maybe a relative if not the older brother.. or maybe a bestfriend (unlikely. he judged that cale definitely had thames blood.)?

...but wait..

wasnt it said that drew was the last and only surviving decendent of the thames household, which is said to have perished once she married deruth and decided not to continue the household..?

if thats so.. where exactly did her elder brother go?

(when you say eldest do you think that maybe there could be more then one older brother? or is that a translation taken wrongly..?)

AND WHAT DOES THIS MEAN

EXCUSE ME??? HELLO???

BECAUSE IM KINDA (NOT REALLY) TRYING TO READ THE LINES BETWEEN WHAT SHES SAYING HERE AND I DONT LIKE THIS

so shes saying that a group of people want to hunt the souls of people (and perferably of those that might be young and weak) and somehow couldve ended with something bad going on..?

and apparently the thames household has massacured or “used” all of these people to the point where its been “resolved” and hunters will no longer appear..?

and somehow, the red light (the light from the annual rings of life ancient power flowing into drew’s diary) is the same light of that dorph managed to identify of a person that taught him how to not only use the darkness element, but also hunt darkness elementals (667)

THE HELL DOES THIS IMPLY??

drew has the exact same “light” (the element of present and innate fate? time? or something more?) to the (presumed) hunter (THAT I THINK IS HONESTLY STILL ALIVE, MIND YOU) that hunted down darkness elementals who possessed a red light (but did not absorb it? ancient powers get absorbed right?)

she also commented that the annual rings of life (which allowed people to see the time around all living things (including people whos time is warped), as the annual rings of a tree) “needed to be apart of the Thames household to use this power properly” - (665)

while thankfully it means that white star wouldnt know how to use it either (judging from not being able to tell how time is warped besides that it is for cale and choi han), it also leaves some very interesting context for WHY THE HELL WOULD A HUNTER HAVE THIS POWER THEN??

LIKE?? IT WOULD MAKE SENSE FOR A THAMES TO HAVE IT BUT THE FALSE HILSMAN DIDNT SEEM TO HAVE IT EITHER

...so if the thames were so adament about fighting against hunters who used the souls of non-reincarnating / single lifers, why is the records and the research all full of how to destroy all of those with a “warped” time.. including those single lifers...

and depending on how detailed the information on the annual ring of life is on how to eliminate such beings.. wouldnt that mean that the thames has been studying that too alongside it..?

but when the other hunter got its “red light” while the fake hilsman didnt have make sense... unless.. the hunters were originally to have it and the thames “used” them or “resolved” or took it from them for their resea-

...im sure that that is not the case.. yeah.. that couldnt ever be the case..

this seems like seriously complicated stuff... i feel like there are chills on my back and im having lemon tea for some reason... and whatever happened made the thames going to a baron to a fallen noble... haha oh dear..

...at the very least, we can count on having his highness crown prince alberu to tell us what happens once he asks the king! yeah! im sure its nothing big to worry about and it would all be revealed in due time, theres no need to worry about that kind of stuff!

[thecipherlegacy]

12 and/or 21 for your choice? ~@dragonheart-swtor

I chose both with Arianness and Noshiir, hope you like it!

Arianness had spent the day out doing smuggling runs non stop as she waited for Toovee to contact them about her boyfriend's recovery from their last run together. It wasn't life threatening that she knew of, but he had been knocked out for over two days after an escape gone wrong against pirates. He had gotten a hard hit on the noggin and a couple of scrapes after a rough jump into hyperspace and hadn't woken up since. Toovee got the poor man into a kolto tank, but the waiting was the worst part.

"Hey, pinky" chasaadia greeted her captain as she sat up front with her. "How are you holding up?"

"Im fine" the Twi'lek responded. "A little worry won't stop me from making credits. Also, Noshiirs skull is resilient. He'll come through. I know he will. That thick skulls gotta be good for somethin." The captain smiled at her friend, but that weak chuckle was less than convincing.

"You mask your concern with humor." The large nautolan crossed her arms and gave an unamused look. "And you keep your nerves in check by working."

Arianness scoffed "what in the galaxy makes you think that, Red? Suddenly a psychology expert, are ya?" Her curt reply got no answer, so she stayed silent as well. Her hands ran over the steering console and she sighed. At one point she would have been happy to be rid of the man, but so much had changed since then and she missed his stupid jokes and his silly smile. The ship was quiet without the sounds of his tinkering echoing throughout it.

"Talk to me, Ari." Chasaadia demanded in a sisterly tone once the silence became too much. "I'm not some meathead. I know you're upset."

The smaller woman's purple eyes glanced at Chasaadia, then back down at the console. "Do you think he'll be alright? He hit his head pretty hard." Was all she could think to ask. Realistically she knew her friend had the same knowledge of Noshiors condition as she did, but the reassurance was all she needed.

A numbing silence filled the ship, then the nautolan took a deep breath. "I gotta admit, he took a nasty spill, and there was a pretty gnarly amount of blood." This earned her a sharp look. "But, I trust my Toovee with my life, and I sure as hell trust him with Noshiirs. He's in good hands." Despite how her response began, her gentle smile comforted Arianness. The Bounty hunter never was good woth being gentle, so this was surely the best she was going to get.

"Thanks Chassy. I should really put more faith in Toovee. Hes patched us up in much worse circumstances. Im sure Noshiir will be okay... I just need to not think about it"

The other womans large hand pat Arianness's shoulder "Then let's go make some credits. Toovee will call when that bonehead wakes up."

With a nod, the captain jumped to hyperspace to go to their drop off on Tattooine. Right out of the spaceport there were Jawas swarming to try and trade, which the Captain denied and Chasaadia threatened if they got too close or too rowdy. Couldn't risk the shipment being stolen or damaged.

Both women kept some wraps over their heads to avoid the heat in any way they could until they made it to the Cantina, where they finally met up with their contact, who looked seedy, but had the credits.

"Alright so you can count it. All the blasters and stims you ordered are in there." Arianness said. As the man counted, her communicator began to go off. "Chasaadia, take over for a sec." She stated before getting up and answering the call. Toovee was a relief to see. "Oh thank the force- how is Noshiir?-"

"I am pleased to tell you that he is awake and functional. He still needs rest, but everything seems to be in order, so whenever you're ready to come home-"

"We'll see you soon!" Arianness grinned from ear to ear before hanging up "He's awake, Chassy! Lets go!" She called and rushed out of the cantina before getting any response.

"He hasn't paid!" The hunter argued and watched the younger woman leave with a grunt.

"Well, guess I dont gotta pay, then" the client smirked, but was quick to change his mind when a blaster was shoved against his nose.

By the time the Nautolan was back on the ship, her captain was already getting it started up and ready to go. "So,what happened to 'a little worry won't stop me from making credits'?" She asked with a frown. "You almost didn't get paid for that shipment."

"I lied. C'mon, red. You knew that" Arianness said woth a shrug. "Now strap in. We're going home."

"Im taking a bigger cut from this one, you idiot." Chasaadia sighed again and sat down beside her "and I mean that in the most loving way."

Those purple eyes looked at her playfully as they left the space station. "I know. And you deserve it, take what you want."

This surprised the hunter,but she decided not to mention it. Arianness used to care more about a missed score or being ripped off. Her love for the zabrak had changer her priorities for the better.

The ride home was relatively quiet as Arianness was so focused on getting there fast. The moment they entered the atmosphere of Alderaan she was practically buzzing with joy.

"I've never seen you like this" Chasaadia finally said. "So happy. Its nice."

The captains cheeks flushed bashfully "oh- thanks Chassy... I'm just relieved he's okay- I mean... aren't you excited to see Toovee?" She asked as the ship was brought in to land in their hangar.

"Of course I am." The other scoffed. "But you're like a little kid on life day."

Arianness huffed and shut off the engines "I'm just... going to be happy to see him walking around again, you know?... it was my carelessness that caused his injury. I could have lost him, kinda puts things into perspective. Helps me appreciate what we have even more."

There was a brief silence, then Chasaadia chuckled fondly and stood up. "Sap." Was all she said as she walked to the airlock.

"Hey!" Arianness frowned and followed her "shut up."

They stepped off the ship to see Toovee waiting for them. He was instantly fretting over Chasaadia, as he always did after their runs. The Twi'lek waved to him as she rushed up to the medical bay, where Noshiir was standing up on shaky legs.

She smiled at the sight, but also worried since she knew he probably shouldn't have been walking yet. "And what are you doing out of bed, mister?" Her tone was like a mothers as she approached him to look the poor man over. He had fresh bandages on his head and stomach and a few bruises on his red skin. His hair was up in a messy bun, leaving some of it hanging over the right side of his face. Despite it all, Noshiir looked up at her and gave her that million credit smile.

"Damn... youre a sight for sore eyes, Captain." He said. "When Toovee said y'all were coming home i thought I'd greet you but... uh... yeah I only made it this far."

She sighed and put his hands on her hips "Put your weight on me, can't have you falling and hitting your head again, you goof" Arianness chuckled a little and held his face in her palms softly. "Nice to see those blue eyes again..." she brushed the strands of hair from his face and curled it behind his ear. "Im so sorry you got so hurt... I should've been more careful."

His brows knotted "What? Darlin.... this wasn't your fault, shit happens. I'm just grateful to be up and looking at your pretty mug again" he argued. The captain frowned and her pink cheeks tinted red.

"You flatterer." Came yet another sigh. "I love you.... never scare me like that again"

His weight shifted so their foreheads touched. "I love you too, but no promises. You know I'm accident prone."

Arianness snickered. There was truth to his words. He was clumsy and definitely drew attention in a fight. She gently guided his head lower to kiss his brow. "Then lay back down, clutz. I'll get you some lunch, I'm sure you're famished"

He smiled and relaxed into her touch before doing as he was told "Once I'm all fed maybe you can just.. lay with me a while?" He asked. The twi'lek smiled back at him and gave a small nod.

"I'd love nothing more."

[hollypies]

I don't really know how to ask but do you have any advice for new artists?

Uhm, yeah!!

Im not the best at explaining, but I'll try to make sense!!

Alright so. First thing is like, what style you want to draw or what style you already might have! I used to look at a bunch of different artists and find ones I liked and then note littke things they did. Say like, you like the way they draw hair or clothes, or how they shade, and you take the things you like, draw it and change it to suite your style even more! All artists do this I think, its like. It's just something we do!

Shading is also really important! You don't have to shade of course, but for me personally it's my favorite part! This is some advice I got from a friend a few years ago when I was just starting digital qrt. Try to avoid shading with grays and blacks. It can look good for some things, and if it fits what you're you're anf uou like it, keep doing it! But it doesn't alwasy fit. It can make your characters or scenery look dark or scuffed. If you wsnt to use a dark color but you don't wanna use black alwasy go for a color that goes well with the current colors anf! Make it a lot darker !

Another thing about shading is figuring where you want the light and where you want the dark. And what I mean by that is which side has shadow and which doesn't! This is another thing I was taught ! My old friend Sea (who's art was amazing and I looked up to them) used give a lot of advice, so most of the stuff I learned comes from them or just me playing around in ibisxpaint.

Alright! Next is anatomy!! There's a few things to remember so I gonna make it as simple as I can! For people I alwasy start with more or less basic shapes. Use a circle for the head (you can use other shapes as well!!) And then put lines where the face will be looking. This helps later when you're actually drawing the face. Also use basic shaped for the body and hips. I personally use squares and rectangles, but like I said!! Use other shaped to for more dynamic shapes! I'm trying tk to that as well so !!

Here's just some other basic things I picked up on. Hands alwasy go a little below the waist, so when I draw the arms and hands somewhere else I always picture in my head where it'll be. This is a littke hard to explain haha but! You can also use your own arm or look at references! You only need the basics for anatomy in my opinion, because if everyone was straight on all the time it'd hurt some character designs. It can help your character look more stylised!! So when drawing dknt worry to much and just keep the general position and then stretch it to how you wanna look!

I cant draw feet so I can't help you with that sorry :(

Legs are fairly easy though! Ok so when I'm using my first name sketch I like to also use a shape for the base of the waist. It helps with remembering where to start the legs and also it helps with knowing how long the arms have to be. Look at references if you need to, either of real people or how others draw! That helps a lot.

Kinda being a hypocrite because I don't normally use references 🙃

And how could I forget!! The face!! Faces qre fun to draw , but they can be a littke tricky. I used to struggle with them because I started out as a cat artist. It was.. the only thing I drew. So remember that!! Eye position matters. I mean the pupil bt that haha. My friend Sea once. Informed me that the way I used to draw eyes was wrong. One was bigger than the other and the way the pupils and irises were positioned made all my characters look cross eyed. Harsh to say to a twelve year old but it was true .

Q good way to check eyes is to flip your art around! This also helps with anatomy I general but it's very useful for the face! Once you see whats wrong or if it doesn't look how you want, fix it on that side and then flip it back. It may take a few minutes of tweaking but! It works reallt well!!

Go ham with the mouth honestly! Do whatever! Just remember that teeth do curve in the mouth

And finally! Ears 😬. I used to really struggle with ears. You don't alwasy have to draw the ears, you can cover them with hair and such, but it is good to figure it out! Ears are on the middle of the head. Like. Ok so where the eyes are! Use the eyes as a guide as to where to put the ears. Thats what do I but id recommend looking into it further due to it taking me years to figure it out 😔

Hand hands. Yeah. I dont have anything for that I'm sorry ! I'd say just learn the basic shape of a hand and figure it out. That's literally all I did and im still not sure I know how I did it.

ALSO DINT FORGET TO STRETCH YOUR WRISTS OR U WILL PAIN :[

And the advice that generally makes people mad. Practice ! I'm. Im q self taught artist, and ever since I was littke I just. Drew on my own. I practiced anf changed styles a lot to get where I am now, but I wouldn't have done it if I hadn't been dedicated. It helps that I enjoy making art and I like putting out there for people to see! But it does take a lot of time in the beginning. And you'll improve each time you draw!!

And as I've said, your art style is yours. You might find a way that is way different from anything I said, and that's good! There's tons of ways to do anatomy and figure out shading and just! Honestly just have fun with it :)

Also I won't be able to help with scenery and perspectives for rooms and. See I have derealization and it. It makes it hard to figure that out and its just. It's complicated for me ! I'd recommend asking someone else about that in particular!

Hope this helps! If there's anything specific I missed please tell me and I'll try to ! I'll try to help!

[imaginehyunjin]

dance room － part 2

a/n: someone really requested a second part huh. This story’s so good I might do a whole cute story with this oh god. Also I see warnings on other people’s posts,,, idk how sorry just take the risk in reading if u know what I mean ;))) or someone send me what to put pls :(((

Word count: 2440

part 1 ● part 2

＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊

You were lost in your own thoughts for a while. You were wet after the sudden encounter. You need to go to the bathroom.

I hate him! God.

You went outside the bathroom after some while, taking a steamy bath, fully refreshed with new clothes. You tried to find jisung, finally catching him talking to chan and changbin in the hallway. You scoffed, they’re probably talking about the team they’re building. jisung already admitted that a team was really getting formed by chan. He didn’t deny when you two talked about it.

“han jisung,” you called out, catching his attention. His friends looked at you too. You just now realize that you also caught hyunjin’s attention at the end of the hallway, leaning sideways to the wall. He was looking at you intensely. You suddenly remembered what happened this morning. You turned your attention back to jisung, anticipating on what you wanted to say. You smiled at him.

“let’s go to the convenience store together,” you grinned, arm slinging around his. Jisung looked at chan, not knowing where to go.

“we were actually planning to go now too,” chan said. Jisung nodded at me and smiled, scratching his head.

“can I come too? I don’t have anyone to accompany me,” you pouted, getting childish infront of chan.

“yeah sure���

 “so are you guys really forming a group?” you asked, slowly getting to the answer you actually wanted. Just to make sure.

“yeah”

“who’s the lucky team members?”

“ we’re planning to get minho, seungmin, felix, hyunjin, jeongin and-”

“oh my god you’re taking jeongin” I said, crying fake tears. “he will be missed, ugh,” you grabbed jisung’s burger just before he takes a bite, taking the advantage and pretending you’re stress eating.

“hey!” jisung cried.

You gave it back after taking a large bite. So it’s true.

“i still don’t understand why hyunjin’s with us,” jisung suddenly said, crossing his arms and leaned against the chair. You laughed, knowing where this is going. You continued eating, trying your best not to join in.

“why?” chan asked. Changbin looks at jisung too, waiting for his response.

“i just have a bad feeling about him,” jisung casually said, glaring at his food.

“just because you have a bad feeling about him doesn’t mean he has no potential,” chan laughed.

 you went back to the company to continue practicing, parting ways. As you were picking a song to play, you can’t help but think about what chan said. ’Just because you have a bad feeling about him doesn’t mean he has no potential.’ it keeps ringing in your head, bugging your conscience. Chan really makes you rethink about your perspectives, huh. You sighed, thinking maybe you and hyunjin both stepped on the wrong foot. Besides, you were like him back then. You didn’t really think about dancing as your passion, but when you stepped in the company, you felt like you can let everything out when dancing. It was your escape.

After putting random songs in the playlist, you started freestyling them all. Watching yourself dance in the wall mirror, you felt good. Body locks everywhere when cool beats goes in, swaying your body when mellow music rings throughout the room. Some sexy songs come in, and you find yourself doing some straight up sensual moves. As you turned yourself around, you jumped out of shock. Hyunjin was by the door, leaning on the wall. How long was he in here?!

“what the fuck are you doing here?” you asked, annoyed because you thought you were alone. You shook your head, going to the counter and turning the music off. You looked at him again, hands resting on your hips as you wait for his response. You couldn’t ignore how hot he looks, god. He’s just wearing a normal white shirt and some jogging pants, and he still looked hot? Unbelievable!

“no, go on, continue what you’re doing,” he said while moving his hands, urging me to continue.

“i said what the fuck are you doing here,” you repeated, blood boiling in your veins. You pitied him for a moment, but his cockiness made you throw it far, far away.

“i was just admiring the view here, wow,” he smirked at me before looking around the room, pretending to be astounded by the interior design.

“you think im kidding?” you asked, your patience getting a little shorter. His eyes pierced through you, screaming anger. He walked to you, eyes never leaving yours. You fought his gaze, but getting nervous and excited as he shortens the gap between you two slowly.

“you want to know?” he said as he completely closes the gap between you, his hands holding the counter in each side of you, your lower back hitting the counter. You have nowhere to go, and his face was an inch from you.

“w-what?” you stuttered. You can’t help but lower your gaze to his lips. You licked your lips unconsciously, tempted to do something crazy. You looked back at his eyes, glinting with darkness.

“i was thinking of continuing what we started, what do you think?” he tilted his head sideways, eyeing your lips. His hands found its way to your waist, kissing you softly.

You didn’t even answer him, arms immediately wrapping around his neck, tilting your head to deepen the kiss. He sucked your lower lip before pushing his tongue inside, exploring your mouth. You moaned in his mouth, sucking his tongue. His hand tightens on your waist before snaking its way in your shirt. He massaged your breast, still wearing your bra. Your hands went up to his hair, fingers tugging in anticipation. He carried you up on the counter, squeezing himself between you.

“i saw you with jisung earlier,” he said after he stopped kissing you. His hand went between your legs, rubbing your clothed heat. He was staring at you darkly, waiting for your reaction. Your head arched backward, getting wet with his hands touching you fully clothed. You looked at him again with pleading eyes. He growled, kissing you roughly, greedy, pressing his thumb harder. You moaned in his mouth, feeling his hand go in your pants, along with your underwear. He swiftly pulls it down to your legs after you wiggled to help him, shuddering at the sudden contact of cold air on your heat.

“what do you mean?” you asked him, breathless. Your head arched back once more, as he inserted 2 fingers inside you. Your breath hitches at the sudden fullness, his long bony fingers pumping you as he looks at you with full attention. You’re panting now as you feel yourself tighten around his fingers, approaching your high.

As you were closing your eyes to welcome your release, hyunjin pulled out. You were about to protest until you saw his eyes flicker with anger and jealousy. He went closer to your ear as his thumb drew circles on your clit painfully slow, leaving you a whimpering mess, wanting to cum already.

“you’re mine, you got that?” he whispers as his lip brushes on your ear, sending shivers down your spine. You nodded immediately, heat pooling more between your legs at the thought of him wanting you to be his, and his only. He looks at you darkly as he puts his fingers in his mouth, tasting you. You whimpered at the gesture, thinking what it would feel if his lips were eating you desperately rough.

“you want to cum that bad?” he smirks at your desperation, parting your legs wider as he went on his knees. Your eyes widen at the realization, moaning louder as his tongue destroys your entrance.

Your eyes close as your brows furrowed at the feeling, threading your fingers through his hair to guide him where you want it. Your uneven breathing and moans rings through the room along with the lewd noises coming from his tongue with your wet folds. He didn’t miss your clit, lips sucking at the sensitive bud ending with loud pops. You can’t help but tighten your hold on his hair, earning a groan from him which sends vibrations in you. You gasped, feeling yourself tighten once again.

You decided to look at him and his tongue fucking you, and you saw him looking at you with lustful eyes. You came undone at the beautiful view, your hand roaming around his scalp. He continues lapping up your juices, your legs quivering at the over stimulation. He stands up, licking his lips as he smirks at your fucked up expression. You stand up also, closing the gap between you two. You smiled as your hand admires his face, he looks back at you, smiling.

“my turn,” you smirked. Before he could register what you just said, you pushed him all the way to the mirrored wall. You didn’t miss the small smile and amused look on hyunjin’s face as his back hits the wall, glad you weren’t a full bottom. You kissed him softly, giving him the full opposite of what he did to you. He easily gave in, cupping your cheeks as he tilts his head sideways for a better entrance. You sucked on his lower lip, pushing your tongue in his mouth. “mmm,” he hums, totally amused by what’s happening.  Your hands travelled everywhere on his body, going from his chest to his shoulders.

Your hands tugged on the hem of his shirt. Hyunjin gets the gesture and removes his shirt, hands landing on your waist immediately as you kissed his neck. Your hands travelled on his chest and stomach, admiring his toned muscles. You squeezed your leg between his legs, kneeing his growing bulge lightly. He whimpers at the sudden contact, head arching back.

“oh now you’re whimpering?” you smirk, reaching down on his bulge. You begin stroking it slowly over the clothing as you watch him, earning low moans from the boy, biting his lip. Your other hand reaches for his chin, making him look at you.

“don’t take your eyes off me, baby,” you tugged at his lip, freeing it from his bite. You kissed him passionately as he surrenders on your lips, his facade crumbling before you. You knew that somehow, there was a soft boy inside him despite the strong look on his face. “I want to hear you,” you whisper, looking at his eyes. he nodded immediately. You smiled, how the tables have turned.

You continued stroking his hard on, hyunjin’s brows furrowing as his eyes looks into you, pleading for your touch. His lips parted, －you hear his silent, uneven breaths－ struggling to control his breathing. “fuck,” you feel yourself getting more wet just by his response as you stroke him.

You kissed him again before going all the way down to his stomach, kneeling in front of him. You reach for the waistband of his jogging pants along with his boxers, freeing his hardened length as it hits his stomach. “mmm,” you hum, mimicking him. You look up to meet his gaze, seeing him panting as he wait for your next move. You started stroking him, earning a low groan from him. Swiping your thumb over the tip, his hips bucked forwards at the sensation. You held his hips with your left hand, keeping him in place. He looked up, breathing heavily. You didn’t bother telling him to keep his eyes on you, as you also liked how his throat looked. You stood up, kissing him on his throat as you jerked him.

“stay still, baby” you said before you bite his shoulder, earning a moan from him. You looked at his face as you continued stroking him, and he looks at you back with needy eyes. You went down again, licking a strip up his length before putting it in your mouth. Hyunjin lets out a loud groan, as you bob up and down on his length. You sucked hard, hollowing your mouth, hearing hyunjin’s pants shallow. You pulled out, earning a loud whimper from him as his knees gave up.

“oh sorry,” you looked at him and smiled, eyeing you with his almost fucked-out eyes.

one

two

three.

In a moment, you found yourself bent out in front of the mirrored wall, holding it for dear life. “watch me fuck you,” hyunjin growls, pushing his length in your core. You screamed, looking at him in the reflection. His eyes darken at your sound, fastening his pace more than ever. You feel like the mirror would break somehow, as you and hyunjin’s groans echo through the room. You feel your core tighten around his length, making hyunjin pull out. You stood up and faced him, ready to question why－

he pushed you to the wall, back aching at the sudden pain. He hooks his arms under your knees, bringing you up to his hips, pinning you to the wall for support. He pushed inside you again, making your head arch back with the sudden change of position. You can’t help but moan at his every thrust, as his tip hits your g-spot. Hyunjin’s uneven groans against your neck wasn’t helping the situation, coming as he bites on your shoulder. He thrusts one more time, coming inside you.

You stayed still there for a while, feeling his length soften inside you. Both of your heavy breaths were the only ones you can hear, until he puts you down. You both were putting on your clothes back, thinking to yourself you needed another shower. Hyunjin goes at the door, stopping for a bit to look at you. You arched your brow, anticipating what he wanted to say.

“let’s eat together sometime.”

[mr-face-both-ways]

Stex Appreciation Day 5: Dinah!

Hey Dinah what’s wrong, come on girl why you crying?? I drew a happy dinah recently so sad dinah it is  questions answered under the cut :D

Fave song: Love everything that she’s in but im gonna give credit to That Was Unfair and Dinah’s Disco as (cheap digs at Electra aside) its nice seeing her stand up for herself and what she believes in!!

Fave actor: Abigail Dever! She was so fun and cute! I also liked Michelle Escano and Darlene Casanova! Also from what i’ve seen Rose Ouellette seems really fun!

Fave ship: Dinah/Love and Happiness lol but platonic/brotp dinah/c.b. has my whole heart ((and im intrigued by dinah/pearl)) but for real i think she needs some time to build herself back up before having another relationship

Fave thing: The fact that at her core she’s a good and gentle person and will speak out against things she thinks are wrong even when everyone’s always telling her to shut up and that her feelings don’t matter. And the fact that she’s sensitive and cries when things are too much for her, damn that’s relatable lol

Random headcanon: I like to think that the following year she decides to become a race marshal so she has some power to keep the races fair, and because both engines and wagons race there should be at least one wagon race marshal to make sure things are safe from their perspective. Also after the musical her and GB have a long chat and decide its best for the both of them to break up, there were too many issues that “S.O.R.R.R.Y” can’t fix and they part on somewhat amiable terms.

Unpopular headcanon: Ok im not a big fan of the rewrites (tho i haven’t seen the updated show in germany yet so im going off of the workshop and from what i’ve seen) but i just don’t understand what they’re going for with her. To me it seems kinda akin to the disney remakes where they’re super aware of common criticisms of the originals but they think that just by acknowledging it that fixes the problem it kinda...doesn’t??? Instead it just feels weird and forced, especially when the original story beats continue but unchallenged?? Like ok, make dinah empowered and standing up for herself, she’s got herself and she doesn’t need and engine, especially one who thinks that they’re just there to be pulled so why exactly is she dating GB in this case?? He’s still an absolute arse so what exactly is appealing about him to this new dinah?? And then to sing uncoupled after he dumps her, where all the lyrics are still about how she thinks she’s “shamed” him or if there was something wrong with her, ignoring the fact that GB’s the one with all the issues!! Dinah did nothing wrong!! and then to not have girl’s rolling stock (which they’d only just fixed, love that they removed one of the few female-led songs in the show, go girl power ¬_¬), go with electra because she doesn’t want to be alone, uncouple him and be confident again and then go running back to GB still not really challenging his actions and taking him back instantly. Like its such a mishmash of the old show and this new show but instead of having a character arch that makes sense but has issues (loves GB but is very submissive towards him, stands up for herself but also doesn’t want to be alone or without him, gets confided by her friends that she’s not alone and that she too is rolling stock and can get what she wants and then does (even if that means getting a problematic boyfriend). Now it seems like where she’s at is all over the chart and isn’t all that cohesive, which is a shame because from what i’ve seen Rose Ouellette is super charming and fun! And in my opinion the old characterisation could’ve worked, if girl’s rolling stock (or the space between that and purse/killerwatt arriving) was used to acknowledge that its kinda messed up for dinah to blame herself for everything when G.B’s been the problem the whole time and that just because he’s an engine he doesn’t get to boss everyone around (maybe put ive got me in here idk, put the original lotta locomotion in with the actual character descriptions in back). Then at Dinah’s Disco have that be the final straw of her being done with these engine’s bullshit and then have her not take GB back at the end! Her happy ending should be about her getting her independence and not her shitty boyfriend. Rant over haha

[yunatheintrovert]

Tis I again! Idk if you got my last message, but I apologize for my rambling if you did. I hope Im not bothering you either!! How are you and Zombie-Nymph doing? Well I hope! I absolutely love your new fic!!! Poor Nikolaevich; first those kids n now Leonid. The personality of your characters is just *chefs kiss* I wish i could explain it; how they actually act lifelike and not some YA protaganist (not a bad thing, but w/ stories like that it makes it soooooooooo much better), how they are so distinct, and how their flaws and strengths work together.

And Zombie-Nymphs Antanov art!!! I can't get over her art in general, but drawing a gas mask well!?!? Especially the hose and how it moves; the depth and perspective is *mwah*. The little details on the hat, mouth piece and tube end. The way the simplicity of the eyes and mask compliment each other. And of course the colors and shading! They work so well together and the mask looks like I could just.. Grab it or touch it; and it would feel right, if that makes sense?

I wanted to send a msg sooner, but my brain is a bitch ;-;. Happy I can say hi again now lmao. Im glad to see you guys posting works again and Im hoping that life has been just as good as them!!! <3

I am so, so sorry, anon!!! slkdfjsl idk how it took me over a month to respond to this. But I am such an idiot. I feel really guilty about this and I hope I didn't make you feel like a bother. Once again, my overthinking came into play. I hope we can still talk over asks still. But if not, I totally understand with how long it took for me to respond. You are absolutely not bothering me at all! And you weren't rambling especially since I loved to get that ask from you! I just overthought stuff too much and with some stress going on in my life, it slipped from my mind.

Anyways, my anxious mind aside, me and Zombie-Nymph are doing well! Thank you for asking! I hope you are doing well too, anon!

Also, in regards to Zombie-Nymph's art, Ikr!!! Her art is so good!!! She actually drew another thing and I hope she posts it soon since it involves another Russian character I simp for XD. I tag @zombie-nymph in this so she can see as definite proof that her art is so great!!!

And awww thank you so much for sending this ask! I really appreciate it. And it means a lot to both me and zombie-nymph. Again, I am so sorry for taking so long to respond to this. I never meant to give you the impression that you were annoying me. I hope we can talk again sometime soon. But if not, I totally understand.

Also in regards to what you said about the new fic I wrote a little while ago...

thank you so much!!! I am so glad that you liked my new fic. I know it probably wasn't everyone's cup of tea with how Leonid and Maxim were close in that. I also really appreciate what you said about my OCs! I try to make the personality of my characters a bit different like how I had Maxim be an operator with anxiety and Leonid have a few quirks of his own XD. To be honest, I'm not experienced with making OCs so this means a lot to me. Anyways, thank you for letting me know you liked the new fic! I actually do plan on posting more Leonid & Maxim content since I'm going through a creative/writer's block and somehow my brain thinks of ideas for these two. I already have some AU ideas for these two involving a Private Military Company Modern AU that involves some cracky stuff along with an AU where Maxim actually is "Bell" and he goes through MK Ultra. But I wasn't sure if anyone wanted to read it so this was really nice to hear.

[an-american-teen-against-crime]

Are there any taylor swift songs that you think connect to any of the storylines in any of the nancy drew games? I've never connected any but I'm suddenly curious

Thank so much for the ask! Also because this made me revisit old Taylor music :3

Be prepared. This is going to be very very long because I decided to go through every album because I have no self control. XD So getchya snacks and sit down for a read lol.

I’ve always thought “the Man” really fit with Nancy just in general? that’s what comes first to mind. 

*cue me going back to all the albums*

“Stay Beautiful” for Rick Arlen XDDD Haha jk would never to that to such a good song. Not sure why but “White Horse” gives me the same vibes as the Renate quote about knights in shining armor? “You’re Not Sorry” @ Rentaro. Already said this, but the new guy in “the Way I Loved You” is Ned. Not sure who the ex is though lol. “Forever and Always” about Jacob and Leela from WAC O.o

For some reason... “Spark Fly” is really hitting me as Jancy/Nace. “Speak Now” But it’s Kit in HAU XD (jk Kit ya’ll deserve better my dude) “Mean” for all the girls at Waverly Academy. Oh! And “Picture to Burn” for Markus and Anja o_o “Enchanted” for whichever ship of your choice because that’s one of my favorites. :) 

Every single song about a jerk. That’s Henry singing about Summer. Also “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together”. Also for some reason “Clean” makes me think of him? Idk why. Just do. 

“Better Than Revenge” and “Look What You Made Me Do”: Dwayne Powers about Rick Arlen. Again probably the girls in WAC. I feel like this could apply to more people but I can’t think of them so feel free to add. Maybe Jack @ mitch dyan or Detective Beech after Nancy gets them caught? Also I feel like “Look What You Made Me Do” is a Nancy vs. Brenda song. 

“Look What You Made Me Do” just. Strikes me as such a Nancy song for some reason lol is that bad? XD (esp CW ShowTM Nancy maybe) also maybe a bit of “Afterglow”.

Not sure why but “innocent” gives me MAJOR Scott Varnell vibes but that might be being too nice to him. “Haunted” is SOO good I feel like it has to be something... if you cut out the romantic bits I feel like some lines would be kinda like Clara after the fire that killed Charlotte? Also if you wanna think of it with the romantic parts, use it for any angst ship of your choice. :) 

“Superman” is Ned singing about Nancy and there is. No changing my mind. I’ve always thought of singing the chorus of “I Knew You Were Trouble” and esp. for the culprits that I have crushed on lol (Eliot Chen who. yeah it happened. not proud of it) A Concept: “All Too Well” for Elizebet and Magnus. I dunno I just really wanted this song to be in here. XD They also work with “I Almost Do”.

“Long Live” for the og clue crew :3 

I’m trying to find a song for Dirk and Francis rn. Maybe “Love Story”? :O what. about “Last Kiss”. Oof. That’s painful. REALLY PAINFUL TO PICTURE. “State of Grace” works too. “Don’t Blame Me” as well possibly. “Cruel Summer” too? Maybe “Starlight” as well, but honestly that song works for any ship. (Starlight kinda gives me Nedcy vibes) “Stay Stay Stay” is also! Nedcy.

“Blank Space” gives me Xenia energy for some reason even though it doesn’t really fit with the story, as well as “I Did Something Bad”. (and obvi the nancy drew GTH meme lol) “Out of the Woods” gives me a Nancy ship vibe (....francy :3) or even Kate and Carson. 

“Bad Blood”: Lisa vs. Nancy. Anja vs. Nancy. Brenda vs. Nancy. Again, the Waverly girls. 

“I Know Places” gives me Jason and Mei vibes (because I ship them). 

OKAY SO LISTEN: I have a dumb story about my Alec Fell association with this song but that’s a story for another day. But seriously Wildest Dreams is every NancyxSuspect-From-A-Case. Dave, Grigor (?) Alec (ha), Dylan, etc. O.o (or any ship but its just. this song really gives me that vibe) (maybe some francy or jancy vibes?) (I love this song so much omg)

“You Are in Love”: works for Nedcy, Jancy, and Francy, but I feel like it’s especially Jancy?  Also “Endgame”. “Delicate” is Francy to me for some reason. Plus “Call It What You Want” and “New Years Day” can be any of them. I feel like there’s a lot of her songs you can argue for ships lol XD 

“...Ready For It?” and “I Did Something Bad” gives me Zoe Wolfe vibes.

“Don’t Blame Me” has always given me an immortal and a mortal vibes, and while she’s immortal,, Persephone and Hades. 

“Gorgeous” for all thy Bess ships. I feel like it also works kinda as a Jancy or Francy but from the boys’ perspective. (Or Nancy’s too I guess lol the boys just came to mind first) 

“This is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things”: @ NANCY STOP BREAKING STUFF IN ANCIENT EGYPTIAN TOMBS

“Lover” works for any ship but for some reason it’s givin’ me Jake and Camile vibes.

“Archer” is Nace vibes, as well as “Miss Americana & the Heartbreak Prince”. O.o (maaaaaaaybe Francy vibes too....idk im tired it’s midnight lol) “Paper Rings” is Jancy. so. Cornelia Street lowkey gives me Francy vibes......but you can take it for Jancy too. :D (gosh I love that song) And I already mentioned “It’s Nice to Have a Friend” as a Nace anthem lol.

“London Boy”. Dylan. Carter.

“Me” is a freaking BESS MARVIN ANTHEM !!! :D (that makes me so happy to associate her with that song)  

(I also have a fun “Mine” story but that is also another story for another day.)

Sorry this was so long! Nothing came first to mind so um...I just went through every single song? lol. Thank you so much for the ask, this was really fun. :D 

[monzterzack]

Sometimes i remember i drew 300 comic pages just becuase i wanted to tell a story

And then i remember that its been like a year since i posted more and that.... no one really minded

And i get a bit sad, cause my ocs mean the world to me but my brain, my body and depression has gotten to the point where im unnable to work like i used to do and i can barely construct coherent thoughts nowadays

So sometimes i start thinking "how if i quit art and stop feeding myself the delusion that my art is worth enough to keep me alive?, why dont i just grow up and accept my dreams and aspirations are childish as best and a fantasy at worst? Why cant i just act like a normal adult, finish my law degree and work on that field? Sure... i hate law and i hate conflict and i hate everything related to that but its good money, why cant i accept im just a regular person and not someone special and that my talents are mediocre at best?"

And it gets depressing really fast, cause i dont wanna quit art, its the only thing i care enough about to keep doing

So sometimes i write super bummed out, and depressed and just.... ugh it pisses me off, my own sadness pisses me off so much, i really want someone to tell me my art is worth it, i wanna feel its special in a way, even tho i know its not

But also why do i need recognition? Why do i need praise? Cant i just do it cause i want to? Cant i just indulge myself? Why is it so bad to want to do stuff just for myself and why do i get so sad about it not getting recognition?

What is wrong with me?

Why does everything i make have to make others happy?, why cant i just be satisfied with stuff existing because i made it?

I feel something is breaking inside of me, i cant even work in commissions cause i start feeling frustrated cause im working on stuff that isnt for me and i find myself unable to motivate myself, that isnt normal.... that is fucking weird as hell

And i tell my therapist and he doesnt really know what to tell me other than "just sit and do it" and im always wondering if i explain wrong, im not looking for excuses to not do it, im looking for advice to help me motivate myself to work harder, cause it sucks not being able to deliver the best work u could do, just sitting myself and forcing me to do it feels unfair cause the final products are usually not as good as i could had done it had i been motivated

I know im capable of doing fantastic pieces once inspiration kicks in, but i find it more and more hard to even get inspire nowadays

I dont know.... something is not right with me, but im afraid to go to a psychiatrist and have all my issues trivialized, and im afraid of turning into a zombie again, being able to do what everyone expects of me but unable to do what i feel joy with my characters

I think i can only work with extreme emotions now, everything mild, everything that feels "normal" freaks me out and i trigger myself or find ways to get into a fight or to get yelled at

And i know it sounds edgy and stupid "i dont do normal" like if i was a emo riverdale character or some shit, but i really cant work with mild emotions, i cant work with happy feelings or with mild contempt moments, i need to feel so extreme that the emotions overpower me and force me to draw or die

And its not healthy, i have so many white hairs in my head now its unreal, i cant sleep and my pancreas is so done with my levels of stress that it started failing and gave me diabetes

I am so scared of the future, i am so depressed in the present and i feel so nostalgic for the past, cause at least now with perspective i feel like i had a bit more control and at least i feel that i certainly was valid back then, but nowadays i just feel so confused and done with everything im exhausted

Ugh..... i am really losing my mind... its not even quarentine stuff, i guess the fear of death and the fear of the unknown had just amplified this feelings but i been feeling this wack for years now

I am not sure what im doing or what i feel, and im scared that everyone else was right about me and i am wrong about myself

I dont know man, im tired of emotions and feeling like shit

[fyrecrafted]

Knitting (Tom x Reader Fic)

A few weeks ago you found out that you and Tom were expecting your first child. The excitement you both had could light up an entire city. You both planned on waiting until after your first trimester, the most dangerous and common time to miscarriage, to make this new public... but Tom is fucking adorable and spoiled the news in an unexpected way. 

Tom loved your passion for making things. He had, on more than one occasion, shown off socks you had made him during interviews. It had become a joke with a few of the late night shows whenever he came on.  The day you started to suspect that something was amiss he went to the store and got the test. You both paced back and forth as you waited for the results. Every few seconds he would go stare at it, then come back. When the phone timer finally beeped he flashed by into the bathroom and squealed in delight. He ran to you and spun you around giggling like a kid. It took you a few minutes to get over the shock, but soon you were as excited as he was.   

   He later came to you carrying all the reusable grocery bags you both owned and a mischievous grin on his face.  “C'mon babe! I have an idea!” You would rather nap, but his energy was contagious and motivated you enough to get up off the couch.  

    “Okay, but I need to change. Im still in my pajamas.” He walked around you, checking you out.  “You look amazing to me. I don't care if you want to wear this out, but if you want to change, I'll wait.” 

  “If I wear this, I'm wearing my kitty cat slippers with it... so at least it will match.”

  “Lovely idea.” 

  You got in the car and buckled up as he put the bags in the back seat and then got in to the driver's seat. Every few seconds he glanced over at you and beamed. You were still nervous about all this, but you didn't want to spoil his joy. So many things could go wrong at this point and knowing this ate at you, you wanted this so bad... but... things happen... You just didn't want to get all hopeful that something you had wanted since childhood was happening, and then it just... not happen.

  “Don't you think its a bit early?” You asked as he drove through the streets.  

  He looked up at the sky through the windshield “Its already early evening, not very early at all.” he responded, seeming confused.

  “No. I mean...” you  sighed and he pulled over into an empty parking space. He turned to you and put a hand on your shoulder. 

“Are you alright?” 

  “yeah... Im just”

“Hon, if something isn't right you have to let me know. If you're not ready, its okay. Don't let my excitement make you feel like you need to go through something if you're not ready for it.”  

“No, it... it isn't that.” 

“Then what?” He caressed your face then put his hand behind your head and placed his forehead onto yours. “What's wrong, love?” 

 “Its so early. Things could go wrong. I could lose our baby at any moment. Even without anything happening. Fuck, Tom... there's a chance I already did and wouldn't even know yet. I'm so scared.” He pulled back and stared into your eyes, his face falling as your anxiety hit him. He bear hugged you as best as he could from across the center console.    

“I didn't even consider that. I got completely wrapped up in my own excitement. Ugh. I... I don't even know” He sat back in his seat, his hand massaging his forehead. “I don't know if this helps any, but... yeah I know how risky this part is, the statistics and stuff. In my head I'm already... fuck I doubt this is gonna come out right.” 

  “What?” you say as the tears of your pent up nervousness finally broke free  

“If something bad happens, at least this early.” He sighed and fought to say what he meant “I'm not okay with it, but I have already made peace with the possibility. There is no pressure on you, from me at least for this to go a certain way. If we have to try again, even a few times I'm okay with that. I know this whole process will be completely different from your perspective. Please tell me how you're feeling so I know how best to care for you, both of you.”

  “Okay.” you reply through snuffles and tears. He handed you a tissue and waited for you to let him know how to proceed. “It does help me a lot to know you feel like that. I'm still scared though. I'm so scared, that I don't want to let myself even get excited or want this too much.” 

  “What do you want to do? We can go back home and order pizza and relax if you want. No pressure. This was all a spur of the moment thing because I got excited.” 

  “Not, not if this is baby shopping stuff. I can't deal with that yet. Please.” 

  “It isn't exactly that. I guarantee you want to go where I was planning, but you may change the 'why' we are going if you want. It can be a 'me spoiling you a bit' thing if you like.”  

“I'm confused.”

“Do you want me to go ahead and tell you, or should it be a surprise?”

“Uh, you pick I guess.”

“Mkay, surprise it is then.” his voice had picked back up, but there was still an edge of reservation to it.  A few minutes passed. “close your eyes, dear.” You did. If it had been anyone else, this gentle command would have sent your anxiety reeling, but with him, somehow... it just felt okay.    

The car drove on for a minute or two more and pulled to a stop and parked. “Okay love, open your eyes.” You squealed in delight when you realized where you were. Right outside the huge crafts supply store you loved. “You said a few times that you wanted to make baby stuff as soon as you found out you were expecting. But if you aren't okay with that just get what you want for yourself.” 

  “What about both?”  

“Both is perfectly perfect dear.” He said with that glowey look he gets as he helped you out the car and grabbed you both a cart.    

“What if I get carried away again?”

“If I have to call a rental moving truck to get everything home, I will...” He chuckled, though you were pretty sure he wasn't joking.  

As soon as you entered the shop you went straight for the textiles section.  You had so many ideas, and without a budget to adhere to, you kinda threw stuff in the cart as soon as ideas popped into your head. The first few times Tom brought you here you had only bought a few things. You didn't want to be a bother, or feel like you were wasting his hard earned money. This frustrated him, so one time he followed you around, and grabbed whatever you longingly looked at but put back. Every. Single. Thing. You ended up going home with more crafts stuff that day than you probably had across your entire life. It was his way of begging you to allow him to spoil you, and it worked.    

You quickly lost track of your hubby, but didn't really notice. He texted you “You okay? We got a bit split up.” 

  “Yeah. I'm a bit worn out. Home and pizza?” 

  “Darling, you know I never say no to pizza... Want me to pull up the car and you go ahead and checkout?”

  “That works”

“Mkay”    

You snaked your way through the aisles towards the checkout, purchased the supplies, bagged them and wheeled the cart out to the car. Tom was waiting and quickly grabbed several bags and put them in the back seat. He was a bit slower with the rest, oddly enough. 

  “In a hurry hubbs?”

  “Pizza is involved.” he responded as he packed the last few bags and took the cart back inside. You got in the car and buckled up. When he came out you couldn't help but notice that glimmer of 'I'm very much up to something' in his eyes. He noticed you looking at him and quickly that impish glint flickered away. Professionally trained to hide mischief face...    

When you got home he asked for you to call in your standard pizza order while he brought everything in. The second trip he made to the car took considerably longer than the first. Just as you began to worry that something had happened, he came in.  

“Tom, is that a Loki sticker on your head?” He burst out laughing, put down the bags, pulled off the sticker and stuck it onto the refrigerator.    

“Yeah, a little girl recognized me outside and said they had to give Loki their sticker. It was adorable. Their mum wanted an autograph too and I ended up chatting a bit. Did you get the call in for pizza?”  

“Mhm. Should be a few more minutes.” 

  “Got any ideas for what to watch?”

  “Yeah, but its silly... we have seen it several times...”

  “Does it happen to star a certain actor we both intimately know?”

  “Yeeeeeah...”  

“Which one? Also its not silly. I am a fabulous actor and you like watching me and snuggling me at same time, and its fucking adorable.” the hint of glee and faux diva he added to his voice made you chuckle a bit.  

“I was thinking of watching The Night Manager again.”

  “Excellent choice. I hear that one of the producers may have a nice ass...” You gently elbow him and slap the referred to 'nice ass'. One thing led to another, and before you realized it, you were standing behind the main door, full on making out. His tongue invading every crevice of your mouth, his hands groped you all over. You returned these touches in kind. You both filled the room with moans until you remembered the pizza delivery person would be arriving soon. You pulled back and looked up at your tall husband. His eyes were dreamy and far away as they stared down at you. You looked down further and realized how much you had 'effected' him.   

A whimper from near your feet drew both of your attention. The cats and Bobby had been staring at the both of you for a bit. “I'll feed them and you get the pizza when it comes?” You ask him and he nods, still a bit stuck in the heat of the earlier moment. The doorbell rings as you fill the furballs' bowls. 

“OH MY GOD ITS TOM HIDDLESTON.” came from the other side of the door.

“Yes, it is.” He chuckled a bit.  

“My boss didn't tell me who I was delivering to, they just grinned and gave the order and address. I know its, like, completely unprofessional, but, like, can I please have your autograph?” You grabbed a sharpie and a piece of paper on your way to the door and handed them to Tom.    

“Of course. How would you like it made out?” Tom asked  

“Oh, I don't really care. I'm just a bit...” they squealed and tried hard to fight for composure. Tom wrote out a short note and signed it. He paid for the pizza and handed the pizza to you. 

“Hey, I know its a bit much to ask for, but can I have a selfie with you?”  

“Sorry, but we have a policy to not do pictures around the house. I hope you understand. If I see you another time, perhaps we can take pictures together then?”  

“Yeah, no, I get it. Totally cool. Thank you so much for being nice and the note and stuff already.” 

“No problem. Have a good night.” Tom ended the conversation as he closed the door.  

“You're gonna go there tomorrow aren't you...” Tom had a habit of going out of his way to be sweet to people.  

“Oh dear, you know me all too well.”  

A bit later you were both snuggled together on the couch, eating pizza, and watching The Night Manager together. He absentmindedly started rubbing your lower abdomen, but stopped short. “Is this alright?” He didn't want you to get anxious again about the baby.  

“Its fine” you reply as you snuggle even closer to him, your head on his chest and the sound of his heartbeat in your ear. The safety and comfort you felt began to lull you to sleep as the first episode ended.   

“Babe, I really need to pee.” He shifted uncomfortably until you untangled from him. He got up quickly and left the room.  

“Actually I should probably do the same.” you got up and waited for him to finish. After you finished you went back to the couch but he wasn't there. Rustling emanated from the other room, and soon Tom came in carrying one of the bags from earlier. He plopped down on the couch beside you and thought for a moment.  “Uh, if you're not okay with this right now just let me know, okay?” He asked.

“Alright. Whatcha got there babe?” 

  “I kinda...” He started pulling out yarn and a 'learn to knit' kit. “I wanted to know if you would teach me so I could make stuff for the baby too.” His cheeks blushed because he worried about your reaction.  

“Of course I'll teach you.” The show played in the background as you both knitted. You would show him a step, he would practice, and you would show him another step. He started with a basic stocking stitch scarf. You figured that would teach him quite a bit without being too complicated. He was soon making consistent progress and you were both able to get back into the show without him needing much help.    

Several weeks later he was away from home to film a part for an upcoming movie. The internet was flooded with paparazzi photos of Tom Hiddleston knitting baby booties and a cap. Speculation soared about whether the actor was about to become a first time father.

[fairycosmos]

hey really sorry if this is annoying but!!! bro i wanna scream,, i'll be moving across the country in a year, and while i'm excited, i'm in love with three (3) whole people in the town i live in rn. like i wish it was a crush but it's been 3-6 years and Its Not Going Away. my heart is breaking and confessing to get it off my chest isn't an option and neither is keeping in touch afterwards. honestly idk what to do at this point

hey it’s not annoying!!! this sounds like a really painful and messy situation, i couldn’t imagine what it must be like to be in your shoes right now 😞😞😞 but unfortunately i feel like there’s no answer that will be an easy quick fix, or a solution where everyone ends up happy...i think the best thing you can do for your own well being is to use this next year to try to make peace with your decisions, and with what cant be changed. if you’re absolutely certain that confessing isn’t an option, not even to one of them, then the only thing left to do is let nature take its course until you can leave. letting them go from a distance will be infinitely easier than having to see them around all the time. and it’s always going to feel absolutely impossible until one day you look up and you realize you’ve grown beyond the feelings you carry for them. rather than trying to push away the inevitable heartbreak, i think it could be more productive to nurse yourself through it. treat yourself as you’d treat a best friend going through something like this - with patience, understanding and gentleness. don’t feed into the urge to follow a narrative of self blame, self hatred or self destruction out of pain of not getting to be with the people you want to be with. instead, try to accept the negative emotions for what they are and utilize any healthy coping mechanisms at your disposal. build positive routines, make the conscious choice to focus your attention inward. allow yourself to cry, often. know that it’s ok to miss them and to want them, and know that this doesn’t mean you’re not making progress or that you’re not ok without them. lean on your friends and family for support. even if they don’t know everything, let them be there for you. feel that you are so loved on so many levels, even if not the one you desire. listen to sad songs, talk to/read about other people who have been through the same thing and understand that there is always a way forward. that no matter how much it seems like it, your future happiness doesn’t depend on who you date. you’re a whole person as you are, you know? i know it probably seems like i don’t get it, and to an extent i don’t. but i can imagine that it’s a very suffocating, heavy thing to have to carry around with you all the time. and i’m really sorry you have to put up with it :( i’ll always think about what drew monson said about heartbreak - 5 more minutes with this feeling doesn’t feel worth 10 years without it. and everyone’s been through it, everyones shouldering that weight going about their normal lives as if everythings fine. its alright to break down sometimes and to admit that it’s hard because it is, and the only thing we can do is accept that. but it’s not all your life has in store for you, and it is no where near as permanent as the illusion would have you believe again, i know this isn’t what you were hoping to hear. but if you’re insistent on not telling them, or staying in touch with them, it seems to me the most natural course of action is to let it be. let it pass, in waves, and help yourself through in any way you can. you’re a resilient, self sufficient being. i’m not sure what’s stopping you from confessing, i’m sure it’s more nuanced than my limited perspective allows me to see, and obviously it’s your choice what you do. but i do hope you know that it’s always going to be a possibility, to be honest and get it off your chest. whether it’s 6 weeks from now, or 6 months. anyway, take it one day at a time love. i think i’ll join you in recreational screaming for a while. im proud of you for getting to this point, and i’ll be lending you strength indefinitely. if you need a friend, my inbox will be here. go easy on yourself, you’re healing even as you hurt x