#im not a great writer so uhhh if you made it through this ill give you a sticker or smth idk

[dunmertwink]

Songbird

Word Count: 4,446 (17-20min read)

Baldur's Gate 3

Summary: (Part I of II) --ACT I SPOILERS-- Basically how I imagined Mizora's arrival at camp after sparing Karlach to have gone. After she leaves, it becomes a re-write of the conversation you can have with Wyll. I wanted to characterize my Tav more as well as show his and Wyll's close relationship (and history).

I don't think I've ever posted my writing here - so y'all are in for a real treat (sarcasm). I'm not the best writer so, if you make it thru this, you are a saint. And thank you!

Warnings: Mentions of suicide, physical, and sexual abuse

The camp was thrust into utter chaos at Mizora's sudden arrival; Gale may have lost his knickers for how high he jumped. There was much shouting and bumping into one another as weapons were drawn (weapons a la pots and pans), and the dog, for the moment, had gone barking mad.

The devil's business was simple: she'd come to collect. Her cheeky, nonchalant grin soured when she looked upon her charge and his living, breathing target, whose head was still attached. Interesting.

"Tsk. Naughty, naughty," Mizora hummed.

Wyll's bronze complexion paled, and his stomach launched into his chest. His uneasy gaze drifted between Mizora and Karlach, the tiefling woman he was contracted to kill. He pursued her into Avernus, the first layer of the Hells, then onto the Mind Flayer vessel that planted this lovely little parasite into his one good eye. This, of course, was under the pretense that she was a devil; Archdevil Zariel's attack dog, not the mortal she turned out to be.

Amidst all the chaos, the entire camp watched in horror as Wyll appeared to exit his body at Mizora's command. He was anguished, grunting and gasping for air. Searing flames and a thick, blackest black abyss engulfed him, and the camp lost sight of him for a moment. The group's clamoring to pull Wyll from this abyss was futile. He returned a moment later, but he was… different.

"There," Mizora said, pleased with herself.

Wyll's head ached as heavy horns sprouted from his forehead. His body changed—angles sharper, and his once deep brown eye glowed a demonic red. There was a soreness about his whole body, and the last remnants of sweltering heat could be felt in his extremities.

The devil was saying something to him, but he couldn't make out her words. His head was buzzing with a mighty headache, new from the weight of his infernal horns. A loud ringing blocked out any hope of a thought. He could make out the shapes of Kestrel, the tiefling bard, Karlach, Shadowheart, the Sharran cleric, and Gale, the awkward, bumbling wizard, all fussing over him, but their words, too, were muffled by this awful din.

Mizora took in the scene. Satisfied, she opened up a portal to her domain. She would not leave, though, without uttering the final remark.

"I do hope you enjoy your new body, Wyll. There is magic that even I can't change," with a chuckle and a snap of her fingers, her demonic wings curled around her, and the blackest black abyss of her portal enveloped her, "Hmph, Ta-ta."

There and gone in an instant, Mizora's departure allowed the camp to finally settle into the quiet rhythm of before.

All had retired to their tents a bit more relaxed; the danger had passed, at least for the moment. Even the dog, Scratch, settled down and, as usual, selected his sleeping arrangements for the night. He chose Lae'zel, the stern, fearsome Githyanki warrior, and followed her to her tent, much to her chagrin.

"Well. That was… something," Gale scratched his head and sighed, visibly dispelling the anxiety of the moment, "Best to get some rest, if such a thing can be achieved. I do hope Wyll is all right. That can't be easy.

"But, I also wish he had mentioned being a warlock—pacted to a devil. Might have been a pertinent detail…"

The group still, of course, had these grotesque little brain worms to contend with: a "gift" from a fanatical, power-obsessed god with ambitions to usurp the known realms.

"If I find this creature's slobber on my greaves, I will skin it," she grumbled.

Everyone knew she loved the dog but stubbornly refused to admit it. This world was new to her after all, and she may have taken a liking to it, much to her dismay.

Unnerved, Kestrel remained by the campfire, his gaze drifted between the flames' graceful ballet and the dirt once blackened by the devil's portal. The ebbing heat warmed his skin, engulfing him like a cozy blanket.

He leaned back, his gaze following the swirling smoke rising into the dark expanse, illuminated by the silver moon. The night sky was awash with stars—thousands of tiny, sparkling, white jewels embroidered into the black velvet firmament. He could hear the soft lapping of the river Chionthar's waves against the rocky shore and its bubbling current surrounding the camp.

Fireflies bumbled about, little candles floating through the air, blissfully unaware of the world around them. Peepers and crickets composed a peaceful symphony in time with the crashing waves of the river.

Wyll—where was he? Kestrel didn't see him return to his tent like the others. Understandable after what had just happened.

He imagined it was agony; having every piece of one's soul violently ripped through each layer of the Hells. And coming back… transformed. He also knew from experience how much horns hurt. At least he'd had the benefit of time. Wyll's just… popped out, fully formed. In an instant. Kestrel found himself idly rubbing the base of his horns, remembering their dull pain as they slowly broke through his skin, growing up. And—gods—the headaches.

Aside from that gruesome transformation - how was he feeling? Lost, maybe. The once proud "Blade of Frontiers," hero of the people, now a devil. A prolific monster-hunter, now a monster himself. Hmph, Astarion was probably giddy from the irony of that. Maybe Wyll saw it, too, and had a chuckle to himself. But still, Kestrel knew it had to, on some level, sting.

There, Kestrel convinced everyone that his wild coughing fit was simply from the choking smoke of the inn's fire—not a panic attack sending saliva down the wrong pipe.

His gaze drifted upwards toward the soft, ghostly glow of the moon. A painful memory pricked the back of his skull—the same memory that had plagued him in Waukeen's Rest earlier that day.

The elven woman they'd rescued from the inferno, Counsellor Florrick of Baldur's Gate, had dusted off her purple gown. The gesture wasn't much use - she was covered head to toe in ash. Nevertheless, she stood tall and informed her saviors that Goblins and Drow had attacked the inn—set fire to everything… and taken the duke, Grand Duke Uldar Ravenguard, Wyll's father.

Kestrel suddenly realized why Wyll seemed so familiar. His heart seized then. With lungs burning, panic overtook him as he began to vividly picture a baby-faced knight in shining armor, storming through golden gates, his wooden practice sword in a sheath meant for an iron one.

No matter how hard he tried to shake it then—in front of this stately official from Baldur's Gate and her contingent of Flaming Fists, the memory persisted. He doubled over, coughing wildly between desperate gasps for air.

He chuckled about it; what a fool he must have looked like. After that display, he had doubts that the counselor had put much faith in him. But even now, as he sat idly by the fire's warmth, in the night's stillness, his breath hitched.

~

"Ah, young master Ravenguard, to what do I owe the pleasure?"

That voice. It tore at the recesses of Kestrel's mind like a gnoll from its host. Ripping. Visceral. Gnawing.

A fourteen-year-old boy stood tall in the grand foyer of the manor, stoic and determined, his warm brown face still plump from baby fat.

The symbol of the Flaming Fists was emblazoned on his leather jerkin. His small, iron pauldrons glistened in the fire-light of the manor hall. He clutched at the hilt of a sword concealed by its sheath. The sword was wooden—but maybe the boy hoped no one would call his bluff.

"I wish to speak to the Lady Zamura," his voice cracked, still in the throes of puberty.

"Would you? Well, far be it from me to refuse the son of the Grand Duke," the voice slithered and snaked its way through Kestrel's memory.

At the top of the angled stairs stood a shaking, tiefling girl of seventeen years. She wore a royal-blue brocade gown with intricate gold embroidery dotted with pearls. A large sapphire of the deepest blue was the centerpiece of a golden circlet upon her forehead. Her curly, raven-black hair was neatly tied by golden cuffs into two long braids over either shoulder, reaching her waist. There was a faint, purple handprint across her blue-gray cheek.

The man turned from young Wyll Ravenguard and beckoned the girl to his side. Like a herded sheep, she obeyed. He towered over the girl—a hulking mass of fine silk and furs. His thick, pale pink hand adorned with a sharp onyx ring clutched her shoulder like a monster's claw around its prey. She did not make eye contact with either of the two humans.

"My sweet, the son of the Duke is here to see you," the man's grip on her shoulder tightened.

Her gaze slowly rose to meet the boy's. A shaky, feigned smile began to cross her meek countenance.

"Hello," she uttered, her voice barely audible.

The boy bowed curtly to the girl and spoke in a dignified manner, "Hello, Lady Zamura." He cleared his throat and continued,

Every fiber of the girl's being urged her to run to the boy, jump into his arms, and escape from this gilded, marble-encrusted hell. Every ounce of her body wanted nothing more than to scream, "Help me!"

"A few townsfolk came to my father on your behalf—earlier this evening, you were seen in the lower city.

"They said that you must have run away… trying to escape this place.

"That my father's Flaming Fists were contracted to bring you back here.

"I need to know that you are here of your own volition."

The man's grip on her shoulder tightened immensely. Fear smothered her heart and silenced her inner screams.

"Well, my love, tell him how happy you are here," there was so much venom in his tone that Kestrel was sure Wyll heard it then.

But this fourteen-year-old boy with a wooden sword could do nothing to save this girl. He knew it; his defeated posture said as much. The vile, festering pustule of a man holding her hostage knew it. Even she knew it.

A lump grew in her throat, threatening to break her demure facade. She swallowed it as best she could, feeling the man's grip constrict evermore. It hurt.

"I'm very happy here. I'm to be married soon."

~

Those words felt like a cold blade in Kestrel's heart, even ten years later. The one thing that horrid nightmare revealed to him now—is that Wyll was good. He was always good; with him, he carried a heart of gold. He didn't deserve to feel like a monster—he could never be one.

He chose to spare Karlach's life at great cost to his own, a woman he never met and was under contract to kill. Likewise, all those years ago, he decided to march into that manor and confront a great beast for a girl he'd likely only heard stories of.

Kestrel's guilt panged in his chest. After Wyll's transformation, he accosted him, hollering about how he hypocritically waxed poetic about steering clear of the devil Raphael, yet there he was, pacted to Mizora. The brave, baby-faced fourteen-year-old Wyll rushed back into Kestrel's memory. He had to find Wyll, if anything, to apologize.

Wyll sat in the rocky sand; his knees pulled up to his chest. He sullenly watched the small waves lap at the shore beneath his bare feet. The water was icy-cold against his skin—a relief from the searing, skin-melting heat he'd felt during his harrowing experience not moments ago.

His mind wandered to dark places. What's the use in doing the right thing, if it means being punished? Who was he kidding, he would never change his ways. Couldn't. Somehow, though, he knew those ways would be his end.

"There you are," a chocolatey voice pulled Wyll back from his sea of bleak thoughts.

The bard definitely put on airs. Hells, he even gave Astarion a run for his money. Beneath all the layers of bullshit, though, his heart was kind. Wyll hadn't known him long, but that much was plain to see—no matter how hard the bastard tried to hide it.

He looked out for this rag-tag group of misfits. Helped the grieving bard Alfira finish her song. His camaraderie with the tiefling children was impressive. Saved one of them from harpies and another from a venomous snake.

He even gave of himself to keep the vampire fed. Sure, there may have been a less noble motive behind this one (surely, those two didn't believe that the camp was unaware of their late-night trysts in the woods). Nonetheless, Kestrel Everdusk was a good friend to have.

They'd gotten into a spat when Mizora arrived—Wyll could remember that much over the ringing. It was faint now, and he could finally think. Wyll couldn't blame the bard; he'd put everyone in danger by keeping such a secret as Mizora. He wondered what the others thought of his devilish appearance now—wondered what Kestrel thought of him.

"Wyll, I'm sorry I was short with you earlier. I—"

"No. You were right."

"Hm?"

"Wyll, ugh. Look, we all have our secrets. I can understand why the Blade of Frontiers would want to keep the true font of his power under lock and key."

"I should have told you about it—it was reckless of me not to. There's too much on the line."

He sighed, "Mizora is a fickle creature, even as devils go. I put you all in danger."

There was a brief pause between them—both mesmerized by the soft waves cast by the river's current.

"Pah. The Blade of Frontiers. Look at him now. Hideous. A horned devil—a gods-damned monster," Wyll stared down into his rippling reflection below.

His demonic red eye glowed faintly on the water's surface, his prominent horns protruding from his forehead, then curling up and back over his neatly-rowed locs.

Kestrel smiled cheekily, "Am I a monster?"

Wyll recoiled, stammering, "Shit, n—no! I uh…"

That made Wyll smile. Maybe even like a fool. There was a quiet warmth around them now despite the cold water.

A gentle giggle escaped Kestrel's plump lips, "Easy, Tiger, I'm teasing. I'd say you're quite the handsome devil.

"People will see what they want to.

"You can save all the cats from trees and help all the old ladies cross the street that you want, and they'll still see a devil.

"You are the only one who truly knows your heart. You know that you are no monster. I know. We all do. Those that love you will see you.

"You're still the Blade of Frontiers. And whatever else you want to be."

Wyll looked down at their reflections. Kestrel's red-tipped horns gracefully curved back from his forehead in an elegant twisting pattern. His eyes glowed white as the moon with a bright, red ring around his sharp, feline-esque pupils. He was downright pretty if Wyll was honest. He felt his cheeks grow hot, flushing red. He thanked the gods for the darkness. Now, Kestrel seemed so very familiar—yet he couldn't place why.

"Was your pact what drove a wedge between you and your father?" Kestrel asked, recalling the conversation at Waukeen's Rest regarding Wyll and his father's estrangement.

"Ah, it certainly didn't help, but a rift had been growing there for a while."

"Oh?"

Wyll chuckled, his gaze falling from the water into his lap, "Aye, I'd say the first time I saw him differently was when I was fourteen."

Kestrel's expression sank. A pang of fear struck him, and he tried to fight the rising tide of panic. Fourteen? I knew you then, if you remember.

Wyll continued, "You see, there was this girl—"

Gods.

"A bard, like you. Tiefling, too. I never heard her play, but I'm told she was a legend. One of those—ah, what's the word—prodigies. They called her The Siren of the Wide."

Shit.

"Some noble took a liking to her and snatched her off the streets one day. Folks from the lower city came to petition my father for her rescue."

Kestrel tried to steady his breathing, but the memory trickled back as Wyll spoke.

"My father refused—that noble's family, the Vels, was in too many pockets. Highly influential in the upper city. Political suicide if he crossed them.

"So, I took it upon myself."

He laughed, "I brought my wooden practice sword. Hid it in an iron sheath. Can you imagine?"

Kestrel let out a nervous chuckle. Wyll continued with his tale.

Kestrel froze—a flash of an intricate illusion he set in his favorite hiding spot played in his mind. A disturbing scene of himself hanging with a blank, deathly stare and his head cocked to one side. The illusion was deep - it even had a touch component that would rely on the finder's memory of how his body felt. It took quite a bit of concentration. A shudder ran through his body, and nausea churned in his stomach.

"The bastard had a troll's grip on her shoulder. Made her say that she was fine. I knew she wasn't.

"A ten-day or so later, all of Baldur's Gate found out that she'd died. Suicide. The night before that sham of a wedding.

"I was so angry with my father—we could have saved her—"

Wyll must have noticed, "Ah, are you alright?"

"Oh, the water's cold, is all," Kestrel deflected again as he had at Waukeen's Rest. No. Nore more. Wyll deserves the truth.

He shifted nervously, pulling his feet from the water and his knees up to his chest.

"There's something I should tell you," he spoke slowly, each word becoming shakier than the last, "I… struggle to talk about it but—"

"You don't have to—"

"No, I need to. But, erm, I can't—"

Wyll didn't think he'd ever see the bard fumble over his words. But here he was, struggling to string together a sentence. Unsure. He watched as the tiefling squinted his eyes shut and exhaled deeply, grounding himself.

"I'm not good at talking about this, so, erm, if you don't mind, I'd—" the tiefling fidgeted, "I'd like to tell you a story."

To Wyll, that last bit sounded more like a question than a statement. He laughed, jokingly scandalized: a bard who's lost his eloquence? Absurd.

"I'd love a story," he smiled cooly.

Kestrel let out another shaky breath before he spoke. His shoulders sank as he collected his legs in an embrace, resting his chin over his knees. He turned to face Wyll, letting an arm dangle to draw shapes in the sand beside him.

"Bear with me here—it may be a bit… juvenile. I'm, erm, not in my right mind."

"Of course."

He cleared his throat and began slowly:

There once was a bird who sat in her mother's nest, Feathers plain and dull like rags on her breast. She longed for plumes of beautiful color— "Those you shall never have," said her tawny mother.

A sorrowful song she sang, and a crowd did gather. "But, little bird, you're so lovely; what's the matter? Your bosom is full, and your song is true, Nay, there isn't a man who does not covet you."

T'was not love that the bird lamented in her art; But a plumage to mirror that within her heart. Handsome, billowing feathers of all hues, Maybe the deep reds of roses, or perhaps ocean blues.

The crowd did not understand but loved her song, did they, For the crowd grew like wildflowers on that day. So big was the gathering around the little bird That her father flew in, astonished at what he'd heard.

"We are not songbirds!" He snarled, all fire and rage, "For songbirds are scandalous, impure, and depraved! You would be proper, and I'll see it true!" Off her father did fly, all feathers of brightest blue.

Wyll heard Kestrel's voice waver, and his words came slower. It was clear to Wyll that he was stringing this story together on the fly, impressive for not being in his right mind.

The tiefling paused for a moment before steeling himself to continue. Though shaky, he found his momentum and a certainty ran through his words:

Lament did the sorrowful little bird once more. Larger a crowd, she beckoned than ever before. "A siren song," said they, all cheers and fanfare— But wretched was her heart, so full of despair.

Her father returned, on a man's shoulder he perched. "No longer will I see our hard-won esteem besmirched. A lady you will be—proper and demure. This man will see to that—of this, I am sure."

The man smiled with the teeth of a lion Dressed in fine silks, gold jewelry, and diamonds. From under his velvet cape, he did lift A shining, gilded cage—"A Gift!"

The man clipped the little bird's tawny brown wings. He placed her head in a bridle so she could not sing. He tried to break her bones and her spirit, too. Nay, there wasn't a thing the wildflower crowd could do.

With broken bones but an iron-clad spirit, she cried "No more will I be forced to live in this lie!" From the gilded cage, she set herself free. But her wings were broken, and she could not flee.

Again and again, she escaped her cage, But the lion-man grabbed the little bird in a rage. "Retreat from me, you will not, foolish bird. For I am your master, and you will heed my word."

Kestrel paused, memories of the man's grotesque rage resurfacing. "You are to be my wife—and you will do as I say!" the man shouted and spat, hot with a fiery rage over Kestrel's refusal to pleasure him. Those vile words echoed in his mind. The man struck him that night. So deep was the gash across his lip from the man's onyx ring that it left an indented scar.

The man had Kestrel's arm in a vice grip, one that left a nasty bruise behind. He took what he wanted that night, anyway. The tiefling tried to push back the memory of the pain and fear resurfacing.

Shutting his eyes tight, his breath quickened - the panic ever rising in his chest. He felt a warm hand gently brush his shoulder and flinched —it was only Wyll, who drew back his hand apologetically.

"Gah. I'm sorry—" Kestrel gasped. He dug his hand deeper into the sand, feeling each rocky granule rake against his skin.

"Breathe. Take your time. I quite like your story," Wyll beamed a comforting smile.

Kestrel nodded and took a moment to regain himself. He wanted to tell this story more than anything. He exhaled deeply and continued,

Her spirit now broken, the little bird despaired No more pain could she suffer; no more evil could she bear. The flame of the hearth by her cage serenely burned. For the sun-yellow fire to engulf her, she yearned.

Snapped were her bones, and clipped were her wings, An end to her strife, true peace this blaze could bring. Out from her cage, one last time, steadfast did she leap. "No more can the lion-man hurt me," with joy she did weep.

The blaze overtook her, her tawny wings brightest red Sun-yellow was her belly; fiery crimson was her head. The fire consumed her and thus was the little bird's end. But joyously, her last moments in color she did spend.

No more did she suffer, no more did she cry. So serene in silent death did she lie. She wished only to live a life in vivid color, To live as her true self and not as a caged other.

From the little bird's ashes, the fire yet burned, From these flames, a vivid new life was earned. A songbird of steel-blue, copper, and white, Strong of spirit and unbroken wings took flight.

Over fields of wildflowers, the songbird did fly, He flew over deep seas and hills that kissed the sky. His song was beautiful—his call, proud and sincere. His powerful song was sung loud for all to hear.

He sang of a little tawny bird who suffered much; Her father's betrayal and the lion-man's clutch. "I sing for the little bird, for a songbird was she. I sing for the little bird, for the little bird is me."

The only sounds that remained as Kestrel finished his tale were the soft, lapping waves of the Chionthar and the peepers among the cattails. He felt that a weight had been lifted off of him. That somehow, his tormentor's grip on his mind loosened ever so slightly. His idle gaze returned to Wyll, who seemed far away. Oh no.

Wyll's mind wandered. The river's gentle waters still lapped at his feet, which now felt bitterly cold. He stared blankly into the rippling tide. Kestrel is the Siren of the Wide—the damsel he wished so badly he could have saved ten years ago! The damsel that he, and all of Baldur's Gate, had thought dead. The reason, at least in part, for the sowing of his and his father's difficulties.

But how could this be? There was a body—a massive, city-wide funeral. The Vel family was disgraced; they lost everything and were run out of the city as pariahs—the Siren's murderers. Good riddance. But... how? It's impossible!

"You're… her," Wyll breathed in astonishment, "But—how? They found your body—there was a funeral—all of Baldur's Gate mourned!"

Kestrel shifted where he sat, taken aback, "Really?"

A funeral? People... mourned him? He figured the Vel family would simply toss the duplicity into the Chionthar. Then... who found him, if not the Fists?

A snapping sound cut through Kestrel's thoughts. He followed the sound to Wyll, snapping his fingers, trying to get his attention.

"Kestrel! How did you do it?"

"An illusion," Kestrel hummed, eyes distant, "I altered the 'Invoke Duplicity' spell."

He spoke plainly; it was clear his mind was elsewhere—lost in the night of his brilliant escape from Baldur's Gate.

END PART I

[survivorinternational]

Episode 1 - "You are an evil psychopath... but I kinda dig it." - Veni

STEPHENS BACK 

I love love how these tribes are split up but I’m kind of nervous about playing with people I’ve played other things with before! There was only one person I didn’t already have added and that is Daniel. I’m just going to try to stay on everyone’s good side and maybe try to get close with everyone? I think that we are going to have a strong tribe so that’s a plus! 

Israel is not in Europe

----------

So since this is "International" I decided to call everyone in our tribe be either their home country or town. So Clash is Richmond. Vilma is Oulu. Ginger is Israel. Allan is Scotland. I have yet to talk to Latvia but they appear as a very busy person. So it's Day 2 right now and I have just woken up. Me and Oulu stayed up 'till 6 AM last night just talking and chilling. I really like her so I hope we can make it far. I also like Richmond because that is a cool name so we established a 3-person group. Richmond insists on repeating F3 every 5 minutes which is pretty scary but I'll just disregard it for now. I am enjoying the diversity of our cast, proud to be a European seeing as the other tribes are basically just Australia and just USA. Right now I'll try to put some work into this flag I guess since nobody has taken initiative.

So its off to a relatively good start, I’ve talked with 3 other tribe members and they seem pretty cool, i got a good rapport with Tyler and Jacob especially. They also had good input into the challenge to so, yay. The other to however haven’t spoken, and we can’t blame time zones cause their like, at most an hour seperate. Be careful Sluggyg and Dylan, we lose a challenge we’ll be looking at you. I’m not gonna pm them first though, trying not to come off too needy yet, I’ll give at least some pretense of not being absolutely bonkers. 

Good lookin. Nah jk. So I have to admit I was a late bloomer in terms of speaking in the group chat and I conveniently missed the people I didn't know - Tyler, Dean. I have a history with Jacob and I know Michael from a previous community so I have hit the ground running with the idea of sticking together but nothings too solidified yet so hopefully in a bit I'll find myself in a majority! The only thing Stephen said to me so far is "heyo" and "ya I teach english", so.. 

Ok so Hi. I hate u all why am i here. Im nervous cause im out here trying not ti be the first boot and have to have my dog comfort me while i cry to sleep. Literally shaking in slides. Everyones a bit of a hoot, all male tribe! Wowee. Just going be pals with all these kiddies. Although the flag they made is literal trash, ill be nice :) 

hey boys time for my first confession that will be longer than it should be and not entertaining in the slightest so the cast reveal was interesting! i wasn’t expecting many familiar faces at all, maybe like one or two people i sort of know of. but when i saw ruthie and randy, i was honestly relieved. ruthie and i have always been good allies together in games and i love her a lot. she’s loyal and funny and smart. just overall wonderful person to play with and i’m really happy to have her here. also, seeing randy was so good too. honestly i know he has a ~rEp~ for being not the greatest, but i don’t particularly care. i feel like we’re going to get along really well in this game. the only thing that annoys me is that him talking to me at first was all like, “oh emily you’re so a good player i love you please don’t vote me out get me to merge xo” like he was purposefully inflating my ego because....... people generally think i have a big ego. and a year ago, yeah i definitely did. that’s why i lost both of my last two main season games. my ego got in the way and i got too confident, too cutthroat, too rude, too self absorbed. and so much has happened in my life, i’ve been taken down a few notches and the last thing i want is for people to think i’m a narcissist. i’ve worked on myself a lot and it’s just sad to see people treating me like this like they think it’ll guarantee me wanting to work with them. sigh. anyway, continuing with the other people: my skype app will NOT give me notifications when daniel or patrick send me messages and it’s frustrating me high key because they’ll respond two minutes after i send a message and i won’t see it for hours, even if i check the chat. new skype is ruining my social game yeah! but in general pat and daniel seem cool. only person i’m weary of is liana! i didn’t realize at first, but she’s married to chips who....... hates me LMAO! i’ve never played a game with her so here’s to hoping she doesn’t have an idea of me in her head already. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ other tribe comments: i saw vilma in a game for the first time like well over a year ago and was like i am in LOVE with her and i want to MARRY her. she’s so pretty and seems so funny and when we’re on the same tribe we WILL be best friends and if we’re not i’m THROWING HANDS!!! it has to happen. has to! i don’t think i recognizes literally anyone else? everyone is pretty much unfamiliar to me. so how i’m feeling right now: randy is really good at making flags! and confident that we’ll pull through with reward tbh. like he’s very talented. i’m gonna put together a makeshift flag too just in case it’s ugly and also to show that i’m active and here and contributing, but i doubt it’s going to be bad. and also it’s only reward! if we don’t win, i don’t mind it that much. my fear is that we end up going to tribal the first round! i don’t know how strong this tribe is in terms of challenges. i don’t know anything about liana, daniel, or patrick. i don’t remember anything about randy or ruthie when it comes to challenges either. so we’ll have to see! daniel told me he played on discord so he’s probably used to more text based challenges or flash games, which is very helpful because i’m bad at both. but from my experience, typical tumblr challenges are far different from typical discord challenges. yeah. also, randy and i shared our idol guesses and both found nothing. i went around camp -> shelter -> on top -> nothing and he went around camp -> treemail -> (uhhh something i already forgot lol) -> nothing. i’m gonna share mine with him every round as like a trust thing. idk if he’ll tell me the truth but i’ll tell him the truth! idc honestly! :p okay end of this long confession i hope you had fun reading if you read this far give me an idol clue xoxo emily (dennis remember in mongolia when i told you the exile idol was under a girl’s name) (i’m sorry) 

So the reward challenge is a flag making challenge. I hate a lot of the things, but I am taking a step back since I have been told I can be controlling in the tribe stages when it comes to challenges. So I want to see how well the tribe performs without me stepping in. 

Day one thoughs: Yes!!! A tribe full of people with similar time zones. Jacob and Sluggy are here, nice. UHC alliance has already been suggested... not sure how to feel. Talked to all other tribe members. Everyone seems nice... dont quite trust Tyler yet... seems shifty Reward challenge: Not a fan of original design. Spent a bit of time working on another design... which i had more time to make it better. Seems to be good enough, will see what tribe says. Idol search round one: nothing

me: so yeah just send me your image so I can do all the work and make the flag everyone: (by the way these confessionals will be over the top and not express my true true  feelings, i.e. I'm exaggerating everything)

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The plan is to kill people with kindness! I really don't plan on winning but i'd love to if I am able to. I just hope I stay long enough to talk to most. My two closest friends are Richmond and Oulu. Oulu is super nice and we talk often so that is cool ----------

Oh lord I am actually exuding so much time in this survivor good thing it is summer geez 

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Ginger spoiled 2 survivor seasons in the same message I am crying :(

So i finally got to talk to everyone on the tribe. Tyler seems rlly friendly and talkative which kinda draws me towards him. Stephen is more analytical and observant... Dean is just the passive, looks on and watches kinda guy. Both Stephen and Dean want to be or are writers so. One thing great about working with Stephen would be someone people target as a strategic threat instead of me - but I don't know if I'll be able to work well with him atm... 

Okay I was gonna wait until after the immunity challenge to do my first confessional but I am DYING. So Veni is making our flag (which honestly I'm not too sure about but I'm awful at art so I can't really say anything) and he asks for pictures to use in it. So I send him a picture of me sitting on a throne, which I took at a bar near me. and this bitch..... Goes "It's like ghetto Game of Thrones, I love it!" BITCH!? Ghetto? Honestly this guy needs to take it down a notch because he's trying way too hard to take control of the reward challenge and is being super bossy and I think people aren't gonna take that for much longer. 

As for the first day of this season I’m loving it so far. Loving the activity and positivity in our tribe and people here are very friendly. Already have started conversation with Clash, Vilma and Ginger. Trying to develop early relationships that will be necessary for the rest of the game. Just need to show activity in tribe chat so my tribe mates not see me as an inactive player because inactive players are usually the first one out. 

So we won the reward challenge and we get a firemaking kit, and inside there's an immunity idol clue. Jacob and Stephen both get it, and Jacob told me it was hidden at the beach. I have no clue if he is lying or not, but if he isn't it means God was right to tell me yesterday that it is at the beach. Now i just need to be the first one to search the next time around. 

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So talking with Stephen, he seems to say the word "snazzy" a lot, so I've nocknemaed 

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Oops i didn't finish...I nicknamed him "snazzy Stephen". What's Snazzy Stephen gonna call snazzy today!?

So we won the reward challenge! Great. The morale seems fairly high amongst our tribe. I've had conversations with pretty much everyone in some way. No talk of strategy or alliances have begun, from what I'm aware. I hope we win this challenge, because I feel good about this tribe. 

I mean, can I not flop this first challenge ? I feel like this tribe is a very good mix of people, chemistry is there so now we just need not to be total failures ! hehe 

After all the bonding I love this tribe, Dean is a lot more reserved than the rest of the tribe and hasn't approached me yet, but everyone else has talked. I've got a nice alliance with Michael and Sluggy, as well as some trust with Tyler and Stephen. After Michael won us the firemaking challenge I found the idol clue. Once everyone has used their firemaking advantage, I'll decide who I share the clue with. So far I have told Sluggy and then Stephen got the clue. All Giraffes Deserve Kisses.

Usually I wouldn’t mind going to the first tribal, but with 6 people all it takes is one misstep to be the target, and I don’t want to risk that. That being said if it does come down to that i think Jacob, Tyler and I will stick together, all we need is one more than that. 

looking over the whole cast, I realised I know Dani & Sluggy from other survivors that's cool

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I got 30 point something seconds like 3 times I hate fairdyne

So basically I've talking quite a bit with Emily and Randy, they're great people. Overall people are super nice, it's awesome! The Ala Mai flag winning is bullshit though what kind of judges were those? I'd have been fine with Faatasi winning, that's a nice flag, but Ala Mai's was ugly af sorry bros 

So, Emily and I are working together to try to find the idol! Which is exciting, hopefully one of us will find it. If I do I’m pretty sure I’ll tell her because it will show that I trust her?!! I talk to her and Randy the most on our tribe and I really don’t know where I stand with everyone else

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i got a big fat 0 for the team but I’m glad our tribe won! Everyone else did great.  Hopefully no one points out how weak I was in the challenge. I’m going to savannah for the night tomorrow so I’m glad not to worry about tribal council while I’m out of town! Yay for not being the first boot!

ok see I am here to win but I got ginger on my tribe!! we love us a good ol rival so yeah even though he's acting fake and said he wants work with me I can't trust him with that I have built a good connection with Veni and Vilma and hope they will stay loyal as well. I am worried about the tribal as my score was bad but lets hope for the best 

Right. So we’ve just won the immunity challenge but all the rats on my team did well so it doesn’t give us an easy target for any upcoming tribals. I got some T from Michael letting me know that both Jacob and Dean found the clue to the hidden immunity idol and they told him but not me. First off rude considering I told Jacob I’d tell him if I found it. I’m in an uncomfortable situation already on this tribe, I feel like i don’t have as strong of connections as everyone else and it’s scaring me. All I need is two friends to guarantee my safety and it’s looking like those friends will be Michael and The kid from Singapore (don’t remember his name oops). This season feels different, I usually feel powerful but Rn I feel like I’m having to push to navigate my way into relationships with people. Also some of these guys on my drive give off the arrogant and cocky vibe and I hate it. 

Only one in my tribe to win a challenge, got the r/ultrahardcore alliance, everyone knows the idol clue because Michael got looser lips than Mia Khalifa.

I *think* we're voting Emils? I mean he's been the least active and from I've been told he has not talked to people much (including me) so. I hope it goes well. Usually I am pretty calm in the survivors I play but goddamn I am paranoid. Maybe since I am enjoying myself so much so I don't want to go yet? 

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Logically I won't be voted out here, right? I've talked to basically everyone a fair bit, I did the whole flag and I got 2/2 possible points. I'm safe.. right? 

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Here is veni's power rankings of the people in my tribe: 1. Oulu 2. Tel Aviv 3. Richmond 4. Allan 5. Emils 

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So I re-read my Fairy Survivor S2 stuff I wrote pre-game and goddamn if I am not a broken record. I am basically doing the same thing this time I love it lol. I do hope the experience I got in the year and a half between those has taught me valuable lessons. 

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Tel Aviv has really high gamesense and sense of strategy. We both discussed how important it is to have that one loyal person to win. I hope he implies I am his. For me it's Oulu I think

Okay so the first round is almost over. Thankfully my tribe was able to win immunity because I am not ready for tribal that's for sure! These small tribes freak me out. But...if we do end up going to tribal I am ready because I FOUND AN IDOL! I'm a little skeptical because it was way too easy and so I'm scared everyone has an idol but we shall see. I'm really terrible at games in the beginning because I hate awkward small talk so I was definitely scared of tribal. I'm not in any alliances yet but hopefully that is because it is still early. I'm trying to prove myself an asset and I was glad I did great at that shark game. It was very challenging to play because I had my baby smashing my keyboard or mouse and closing out of the game in the middle of playing, ahhaha. 

Day 2: Won Reward challenge!! WOOT!! All that effort wasn't for naught. The /r/ultrahardcore alliance was made between Sluggy, Jacob and myself... Im not sure how I feel about this. Immunity challenge announced, Flash games while I'm at work. FUCK FLAPPY BIRD I can do this Hextris and Shark game... I will submit one of these. Fire lighting challenge, I fail at striking a light. Sluggy and Jacob tell me that Jacob has an Idol Clue, it is apparently on the beach. Continue my chats with everyone. Dean also tells me about the Idol clue, either its on the beach and people trust me or there is an alliance that is fabricating stories. Work out everyone but Tyler knows about the clue so I tell him Gained Tyler's trust End day 2 Day 3: We win Immunity, YES!!! I spent the day continuing to build relationships. Mention to Jacob the Tyler doesnt think he likes him and to win Tyler's trust Jacob told Tyler about the clue, but it seems to only further distrust as he waited so long to tell him about it. This could have made Tyler distrust me more as well... Working with Jacob could be dangerous down the line. /r/UHC needs a 4th... Dean and Tyler's names are suggested. Trash talk hosts in tribe chat all day. Im worried my chattiness may put a target on my back, will need to be careful. End Day 3 

I’m loving my tribe and our female avatar presence. Whoever is rob Mariano I kind of want to vote out though. I’m super glad we won immunity and I don’t have to try super hard to be chatty. Loving the format so far 

HI I'M VILMA AND I'M VERY EXCITED TO PLAY I also suck at making confessionals because they take a lot of effort for my Finnish speaking ass so I like to just copy bits from my host chat, be prepared Right off the bat I was confused because I didn't get cast with anyone I would've played with before. I recognized a few familiar faces but most people I have no frame of reference for. This meant I couldn't rely on riding with any pre game relationships and I had to actually socialize with people. Thank god we didn't have a one world phase this time around so I only had to keep up with five other people! Clash playing hard right off the bat I specced his season so I know he was a big moves type of guy haha I wanna make sure I'm on his good side My tribe is very active But I'm Very Scared Of The Zwooper People They tend to be crazy And I'm not about that crazy life at all I CAN'T EVEN WITH VENI WHERE DOES HE GET ALL HIS JOKES FROM I LOVE HIM Alright I think Veni and I are the only ones left awake And He is my favorite I've talked to everyone except the Latvian guy or was he Lithuanian THE BALTIC GUY Ginger and Clash both seem like people I need to be wary of Power players for sure, and good socially And according to Clash they have bad blood from previous games So I can see them targetting each other if we go to tribal And Clash already made a three way alliance between myself him and Veni Which I'm okay with, as of now Veni I definitely want to work with And I prefer staying on good terms with Clash Allan I have neutral feelings towards, only talked to him a bit so far But I stan the Europe tribe I just can't keep up with multiple convos at once so it's been super confusing Already shared my idol guesses with Veni and Clash I think I'm the only girl on my tribe Not a big fan of that fact Really wanted to play with Emily I hope we both make it to a swap so I could meet her Chatting with these people I've started to realize how much I abuse caps lock and exclamation points It's a really bad habit Should probably tone it down, everyone must be thinking I'm screaming at them constantly I'm playing so different compared to how I usually play I usually never initiate convos And try to step up as little as possible While still being friendly with everyone But now I've been very social It's weird Feels like I'm harassing everyone ... Unfortunately, we lost the first immunity challenge ... YIKES I'M GOING TO BE THE FIRST BOOT CALLING IT NOW HOW TF DID THEY GET 6 MILLION I think Emils might be the target Which I'm okay with since he seems to only be online a bit in the evenings Everyone knows I hate losing challenges so I want active people He seems really nice though, but seems like everyone has talked to him the least Clash told me that him and Ginger have decided to leave their past behind so I guess they're not going to target each other just yet I'm glad he's telling me this though it makes me trust him a bit more But I'll still keep my eye on both of them _ Ok hi I'm checking in about an hour before tribal and as far as I know Emils should be going home tonight. It's been super quiet around camp though and it makes me feel paranoid, but I hope it'll be an easy first vote. Veni wants me to make a chat with him and Ginger so we could solidify we make it through next round if we end up having to go to tribal again. My issue is I think Clash and Ginger are closer than they seem and I'm scared if we made a chat without Clash and he found out about it he could become angry. That's why i'd rather it to be a four-way chat between me, Veni, Clash and Ginger but we shall see what happens in the next few hours I guess.

Okay that went perfectly. Ngl when Ginger was like "someone doesn't know it's them tonight" I FREAKED. Then my name gets written down at tribal and I was like ????. I mean luckily it wasn't me but god that was scary. I really hope we win this next immunity I can't deal with that stress rn lmao. I also have no clue who I'd vote out. Also in other news, Chase is cute af! I'm gonna be so embarrassed when he leaves and is able to read this but it's true. I definitely wanna keep him around for a bit lmao. 

jesus christ ginger you are an evil psychopath.. but I kinda dig it

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also I am mostly done with location based names.. for now