#im in bed again
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Don't measure your self-worth according to your weaknesses.
#apparently I said something slightly clever at therapy the other week.#hashtag me to me#my therapist just quoted this back at me#great#now what#im in bed again#webinar in an hour#fucking period#tmi#personal#very very personal#irgnore#i say things here#i complain here now#i have no memory of these words#its why i put them here#sobbing#WHAT A FUCKING SHIT DAY#WEEK#MONTH#YEAR#LIFE#WHY AM I EVEN DOING THIS#oh and#it takes soooo much energy putting yourself down#stop it#stop the spiral#therapy: it helps#mental health#tw depression
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im a little late to it but have a dante for dmc1's anniversary 🫶
#ive been busy all day but i had to do smth for it... i couldve cleaned it up more but i gotta get in bed </3#its ok im still happy with how this turned out it was fun playing with gradient maps again :)#devil may cry#dante (dmc)#allyart
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figure skating set right now please. thanks
#project sekai#pjsk#prsk#emu otori#proseka#tsukasa tenma#nene kusanagi#rui kamishiro#wxs#wonderlands x showtime#GUYS I AM PUTTING OFF WORKING ON MY COSPLAY SOMETHING STUPID. im tireddddd i like sleeepingggff i want to play and drawwwww#after work I literally ate a giant bowl of mac n cheese and climbed into bed. lifestyle choices of a 9 year old#anyways i want figure skaitng set. bad. PJSK HAS A WEIRDLY LOW NUMBER OF ACTUALLY WINTERY SETS... like 3. kind of.#i have some thumbnail sketches but im kind of stumped on composition for them. my idea was a nene focus set#(IF HER NEXT FOCUS ISNT PHANTOM OF THE OPERA THEMED INWILL DIE. BADLY. THEYRE GOING TO AN OPER AHOUSE. PLEADBR)#originally my idea was for nene to be biting a medal i was very sold on it bc i love nenes competitive side#however her outfit is so nice i want it to also be part of the art .. its heavily inspired by that one iconic eunsoo lim dress#from her somewhere in time program iirc. im really undatisfied with emus dress tbh my origimal idea was to give it a phoenix look#but a lot of the firebird/phoenix skating programs have very sleek dresses and i want emus to be fluffy. the balance is hard ..#and since i want her program song to be once upon a dream from sleeping beauty i swerved to make it look a bit like auroras ? but again#it definitely feels like the weakest of everybodys ... maybe i just love her too much and want her to look the best. sorry wxs.#tsukasas outfit is supposed to look like a shooting star. easy. program music moonlight sonata 3rd movement like from dazzling light. easy.#actually i like takahashi daisukes moonlight sonata program its a medley of the 1st and 3rd movement.. i think the calm at the beginning#is best. maybe smth like that.. for his card inhad him doing a haircutter spin but again. the outfits good i want the outfit visible. damn.#ruis the one im very set on even now. girl why are you so phantom of the opera.#it has a lot of beautiful programs to reference but the outfit i didnt really have any solid reference i kind of just balled#my main idea was to make it look a bit like both christine and the phantom.... gender Fluid.#my yapfest... i should be SEWING!!!!!!!!#despite my yapping im not that well versed in figure skating i cant really distinguish jumps i just like it . and medalist#i only do normal skating. bc i played hockey for like 7 years LOLLLL inlove skating though Heart.
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I don’t know man :/ i think I’m just tired of being me
#words#poetry compilation#quotes#web weaving#poetry#webweaving#poem#web weave#on pain#on loneliness#on depression#perks of being a wallflower#olivia rodrigo#mitski#im sorry#virginia woolf#richard siken#it’s getting bad again#but it’s me who’s been making the bed#im tired
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they want to talk about mental illness and acceptance and how everyone is a little ocd it's cute and quirky and their "intrusive thoughts" are about cutting their hair off and you say yours are about taking a razorblade to your eye and they say ew can you not and everyone is a little adhd sometimes! except if you're late it's a personality flaw and it's because you are careless and cruel (and someone else with adhd mentions they can be on time, so why can't you?) and it's not an eating disorder if it's girl dinner! it's not mania if it's girl math! what do you mean you blew all of your savings on nonrefundable plane tickets for a plane you didn't even end up taking. what do you mean that you are afraid of eating. get over it. they roll their little lips up into a sneer. can you not, like, trauma dump?
they love it on them they like to wear pieces of your suffering like jewels so that it hangs off their tongue in rapiers. they are allowed to arm-chair diagnose and cherrypick their poisons but you can't ever miss too many showers because that's, like, "fuckken gross?" so anyone mean is a narcissist. so anyone with visual tics is clearly faking it and is so cringe. but they get to scream and hit customer service employees because well, i got overwhelmed.
you keep seeing these posts about how people pleasers are "inherently manipulative" and how it's totally unfair behavior. but you are a people pleaser, you have an ingrained fawn response. in the comments, you have typed and deleted the words just because it is technically true does not make it an empathetic or kind reading of the reaction about one million times. it is technically accurate, after all. you think of catholic guilt, how sometimes you feel bad when doing a good deed because the sense of pride you get from acting kind - that pride is a sin. the word "manipulation" is not without bias or stigma attached to it. many people with the fawn response are direct victims of someone who was malignantly manipulative. calling the victims manipulative too is an unfair and unkind reading of the situation. it would be better and more empathetic to say it is safety-seeking or connection-seeking behavior. yes, it can be toxic. no, in general it is not intended to be toxic. there is no reason to make mentally ill people feel worse for what we undergo.
you type why is everyone so quick to turn on someone showing clear signs of trauma but you already know the fucking answer, so what's the point of bothering. you kind of hate those this is what anxiety looks like! infographics because at this point you're so good at white-knuckling through a severe panic attack that people just think you're stoic. even people who know the situation sometimes comment you just don't seem depressed. and you're not a 9 year old white kid so there's no way you're on the spectrum, you're not obsessed with trains and you were never a good mathematician. okay then.
mental illness is trending. in 2012 tumblr said don't romanticize our symptoms but to be fair tiktok didn't exist yet. there's these series of videos where someone pretends to be "the most boring person on earth" and is just being a normal fucking person, which makes your skin crawl, because that probably means you are boring. your friend reads aloud a profile from tinder - no depressed bitches i fucking hate that mental illness crap. your father says that medication never actually works.
you still haven't told your grandmother that you're in therapy. despite everything (and the fact it's helping): you just don't want her to see you differently.
#writeblr#warm up#to be clear let me state again: i think you should id however you fucking want if it helps you seek peace#but there is a HUGE difference between being like '.... im undiagnosed but i think i might be X'#and a person who is like ''omg my intrusive thoughts made me buy a birkin!!!''#babe mine made me throw up bc they disgusted me so much <3#mine made me hurt myself evenly. even when i wanted to stop. i have had to put my hand on the stove MULTIPLE TIMES#and again i'd rather have 10000 people get help for something they don't need help for#than have 1 kid NOT get help#but there has GOTTTTT to be a middle ground here#bc at this point it isn't ''raising awareness''#it's . fucking misinformation. and ''what this picture says about you!!!!!''#& yes! im mostly talkin about ppl who are actually disgusted and offended by signs of mental illness#but use it to defend THEIR actions#like babe you hate when kids start yelling in the walmart? but you YOuRSELF can yell?#you are depressed so it's fine you were cruel to your spouse?#but if your spouse spends too much time in bed she's a lazy fuck?#your partner needs to do everything for you bc of your history in trauma? but when SHE has needs she's being clingy and gross?#HUGE difference here between whom i think most of my followers are btw. like#all it takes is fucking anyyyy empathy or kindness . like.#anyway it's hard to explain im hoping we all know the person im talking about lol
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something about s1-3 zane is just. oh this guy is so silly and friend-shaped. look at his friendly boy swag. like????? how could you ever hate him. the ultimate silly
not to hate on his titanium era because frankly it is very cool. but the essence of s1-3 zane is unique and uncapturable. he is just a little guy you can put in your pocket. his default facial expression is so inherently funny. there are no thoughts behind these eyes. i would trust him with my life.
#its almost 3am and i cant sleep HELP ME#ninjago#lego ninjago#zane julien#ninjago zane#my post#does this make sense? i am so fond of him like platonically let me just state this isnt any funny business. i just think hes neat#all the ninja have been my favourite at one point or another in my life (its now cole) but this era of zane i will forever be biased for#again im not being a hater of the new state of the show lol most of the characters are way better but zane is the exception imo#you can't improve upon perfection i guess x#AMELIA GO TO BED ITS 3AM#me: hmmmm why is my sleep schedule so screwed? why do i keep waking up at midday?#and then this is the shit i do at 3am#average amelia antics#amelia isn't funny
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ok danny phantom posts again !!!! i have not lost my unreasonable obsession with this show, fear not. also if the brightness of the image is too low i understand so MUCH, my ipad has a really bright screen and u could not get me to fix my mistakes for a billions bucks
oh and the not invert one if its radder or smth !!
#made this days ago but just kinda#never posted it whoops#danny fenton fanart#danny phantom art#danny phantom fanart#danny fenton#danny art#danny phantom#triple scrombit post is crayz#fenton#dp#dp fanart#dp art#phantom#ok is this cringe#i cant stop the worms inside my head from thinking anything i make that is slightly serious is cringe#leftoevr shame from middle school days#which is so understandable idk how i didnt get bullied#sorry im yappin the world up again mb mb#anyway gn yall !!!!#sleep well !!!!!#hope the bed bugs dont bite !!!
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sorry i can't actually stop thinking or posting about auggy they just have that effect (and also some twitter memes!)
#august pierce#akihiro yasumi#and some memes that mention rowan and sev but im not gonna bother tagging them LOL#infamous#infamous if#infamous art#my art#tentatively this might be the endgame canon pairing im going for (90% chance)#however aki and vic accidentally falling for each other also makes me want to start bashing my head into a wall#dont mind me. im just enjoying the ride#drawing this also made me want to do like a spread of his songwriting book i think that would be fun#a la miles' sketchbook development pages#and the lyrics ARE NOT MINE its again h/ippo campus's 'i got time' and a bit of 'cellar door' . only some sliight changes to suit aki more#based also on the fact that bad dream baby was written by jake n raffaella together in bed. such a cute little thing that i couldnt get out#of my system till i drew it with these two
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jakey + dirkjake sandwiched between my organic chem notes. a poem in there somewhere
#homestuck#hom3stuck#home24uck#home2t4ck#jake english#dirk strider#erisolsprite#brobot#dirkjake#admin draws#fanart#ok so the latter two are. a bit old and drawn in a rush because as usual i had thoughts about dirkjake and hair BUT ALSO#while reading the post-timeskip chatlogs i was like hm jake's hair looks kinda long here. i might be crazy tho#and then i continued thinking. because Ive had jakes haircut and t has to be trimmed often and i dont trust his ass to competently do that#so i think brobot helped out there and post entry it fell on dirk to trim it#and i think as their relationship worsened the first thing to properly go was the haircuts. because jake couldnt be assed to sit in dirk's#company for the duration of a haircut. direct line of strider word vomit while ur held captive basically (massive overdramatization)#so. its a good thing he got interrupted after trying to cover the tattoo up. because i guarantee you he wouldve been waking up on that#quest bed with breakup bangs.#finally formatted this one in drafts to post so im not leaving yall too high and dry again#i see my askbox and i appreciate it btw! its terraria night but i hope to be drawing tomorrow :]
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I cant't remember where exacly it was, but I remember this quote from house md, more of a joke, but also with some character lore, described here
edit it's a joke from family guy im a moron
#dont look at me#arcade gannon#not my finest work#fallout new vegas#vels spolski#thinly veiled homoposting#i just wanted him take off the labcoat#and more arcade in żonobijka#chonc🙏#i know the old fort tents are different#also the coat and the bed dont make sense but im just blind#my art#courier six#courier 6#aaand i forgot the pipboy again fuck#i still struggle very much with side profile of the head
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tall furry bitches with huge bulges in tiny bikinis thanks for listening
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#no ideas for a caption today fellas#i scribbled gay people as stress relief#im still in the thick of it frfr (schoolwork)#time to read haikaveh/kavetham fics before bed again gn#kavetham#kaveh genshin#kaveh#alhaitham genshin#alhaitham#haitham#genshin impact
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Felt lil silly n couldn't decide which one i should draw so i went with both
These go with this one other wip
Yeah i kinda posted this one already. But shhh
#Tumblr fucked up the post if you saw it shhh no you didn't MNSHWK#Moon looks way better than the last version i tried of him but im still probably gonna redo his#its matching more his personality than it was before but uuuhhh idk#i need to go to bed and stop. drawing gay robots at 3 in the morning. again#at this point moon is going to come and put me down for good#its a wip#immortal au#doodles#sunshine draws#oc#dca sun#dca moon
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Empress and her Bodyguard (2)
(OCs, Zaphira she/her, Shargon he/they)
(close up)
#ganondoodles#art#painting#character design#demons#original art#original characters#ocs#spent too many hours on his feathers alone but i knew if i didnt get it into an acceptable version of “finished” now id never get it done#so here i am sleep deprived again nearing 2am#i wanted to go to work extra early tomorrow lmao#on desktop screen all his feather details are really nicely visible#but im sure that wont be the same for everyone .. especially on phones bc those are dark as shit for soem reason#anyway .. going to bed#(isnt it funny that this took me longer than the painting with them at the gate even though this one looks less detailed?? haha ..)
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#ok posting all together for reblogability#a doodley#might ''finish'' that final doodle but idk jst wanted a quick scribble before sleeps#drawings u make while listening to certain songs don't ever feel the same once u leave that song listening zone LOL#gnnn ^_^ once again going to bed an hr later than planned due to da joy of drawing....#im leaving the other 2 posts up bc of my tags on em i love rambling 🫶
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soft and neat
#dan and phil crafts#dan and phil#decided to go to bed before watching the video. absolutely insane way to start the day#took a nap and it gave me strange and vivid nightmares about demons. still think its funny tho 10/10#my art#this is so gonna come out of left field for my followers lmao#posts this with no context. doesnt elaborate. leaves#edit: ok i lied im elaborating. im not a phan account guys if you follow you will b sorely disappointed#im probably never going to post about it again ive just been lurking for 10 years. you know how it is
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