#im gonna draft this and post it at a more reasonable time
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YWDaC: Maybe It’s Not So Fun After All
Hiii here is part 2 of pirate shenanigans I’ll probably do one more to finish this out but it probably won’t be for a while cuz I have some other stuff I wanna work on so enjoy for now ✨
←Previous - Castys Masterlist - Next→
Ingredients: pirate battle, wood splinters in a guy, stitches
The next few weeks were truly a learning experience, and also just an experience. Castys learned far more than he ever thought there was to know about ropes and knots and wind and how to clean things, all while his back slowly hurt less and less. He hadn’t even been whipped that much, but it was still super unfun as an experience, enough to motivate him to be a good little pirate. Well, more like a sailor, they hadn’t done any pirate activities since he was so kindly given a spot on the crew.
And of course when battle did come, he wished he could go right back to the peaceful days of hard labor and yelling.
Kamon had been teaching him to use a sword during their free time, since Castys’s spear wasn’t well suited for combat aboard a crowded ship, but before he even got a chance to use it, the ships had to fire their cannons at each other a bunch. It was loud, somehow way louder than he’d been expecting, and his arms burned from carrying ammunition up from the hold. By the time the fun part started, he was already gonna be exhausted, just great.
His new orders were to take supplies up to the main deck, and he was somehow surprised that there was even more chaos and yelling up here than down below. They were getting pretty close to the other ship now, and it was probably almost time to board them and steal all their shit, which he was actually excited for. Mainly the stealing part.
Just as he set the crate down, there was a loud crack next to him, and his body lit up with all these sharp little pains, like…he looked down, and he was indeed covered in splinters. They were a wonderful variety of sizes, from tiny little ones that weren’t even making him bleed to ones that were as long as his hand, but the worst one had poked completely through his fucking cheek, filling his mouth with the taste of wood and blood, which was a weird combination. Ears ringing, he stumbled away from the destroyed railing, and was just about to start pulling the splinters out before he remembered the medic’s stern warning to not pull splinters out yourself. So he had a cheek piercing for now, hooray.
Before he’d made it back belowdecks, Captain Izogie called for everyone to get ready to board, so nevermind to hauling stuff. Castys pulled out the sword he’d been given, the weight still feeling a little unnatural, but it was all he was gonna get. He saw some dudes climbing up the rigging and swinging over on ropes, but he’d rather just wait and walk over on the plank like a normal person. Was boarding another ship a normal person thing? Okay, really, swinging looked fun, but he didn’t feel like climbing when he was full of holes that were full of wood. Also he didn’t trust himself to land without breaking something.
And then it was his turn to cross the plank, running so he didn’t have time to look down and think about falling into the cold ocean, jumping down into the chaos of the fight, trying his best to weave through the clashing metal and warm spurts of blood, and suddenly he was face-to-face with someone, someone he didn’t recognize, and he raised his sword, but just as he was about to swing he remembered that he’d never fought another human, not for real, and he couldn’t help but hesitate, and they didn’t, they swung, he only jumped back at the last second, it was them or him, he had to fight, remember what he’d learned, remember what it felt like to slice through flesh and hear screams, and it was more familiar once he did it, coming back to him now, his grip steady as he jumped over the body and moved on, belowdecks, rummaging around for valuables, helping his crewmates pry crates open and carry them back to the ship, the wood almost slipping out of his hands, when did they get slick with blood, he wasn’t sure, it was all a haze of back and forth, up and down, fight and slash and stab and dodge and search and carry and he almost walked back across the plank onto the now-sinking ship, all of its contents plundered, all of its crew dead.
The fight was over, and everything hurt.
With shaky hands, he tried to put his sword back in its scabbard, but someone stopped him. “Clean your blade, newbie. And then go see the doc. You look like shit.” Castys nodded, wiping the blood from his sword with his shirt before sheathing it and stumbling belowdecks. Maybe he’d get less of a share of the treasure this way, but at the moment he didn’t care. He just wanted the damn splinters out. And the gash in his arm probably needed stitches, which were always his favorite.
He found Alfyn’s quarters without much trouble, having been there before after he’d been flogged on his first day. The healer was busy tending to people with more pressing wounds, so Castys just sat on the floor and watched. Alfyn’s healing magic was so strange to watch, the way he could just hold his hands out and make flesh rejoin the other flesh super unfamiliar to Castys. Neither of them could use magic back on the islands, so the whole concept was sorta new to him, especially this weird healing stuff. His fingers teased with the splinter through his cheek, wiggling it against his tongue. It would be kinda funny to pull it out and then try to squirt water out of the hole in his cheek, but that would require pulling it out and then finding water and also someone who would think he was funny, which sounded like a lot, so he settled for fucking with it and waiting for Alfyn.
By the time he got to him, Alfyn’s nose was plugged with a rag that was either completely soaked in blood or just red, but maybe it was red because it had been soaked in blood before. He looked Castys up and down, and Castys showed off his arm gash since it was very painful. Alfyn nodded, beckoning Castys to stand. “Nothing you’ve got’s pressing enough to use my magic on, but I’ll still get you fixed up. You’re…Castys, right?”
“That’s my name.” Castys sat on the little table, the spots of blood on it soaking into his pants, which kind of sucked, but what wasn’t dirty on this ship, anyway? “So why can’t I take out the splinters myself?”
Alfyn laughed a little, coming back over with tweezers and a metal bucket that had a bunch of other splinters in it. “I don’t trust you lot to get them out completely. If you do it wrong, little bits can get left behind.” He then started pulling out Castys’s splinters the right way, which seemed to be to do it slow and to use tweezers, but Castys could be wrong since he was a little distracted by all of his little wounds hurting all over again. Alfyn did the one in his cheek last, and once it was out Castys poked at the hole left behind with his tongue despite the pain, which got a sigh out of Alfyn instead of a laugh.
“Please don’t make the wound worse, Castys.”
“Sorry.” He was then a very still and patient and well-behaved boy while Alfyn cleaned all of his wounds, arm gash included. Whatever liquid Alfyn was pouring on everything stung a lot, but he sat still so he didn’t make things more difficult for Alfyn, who looked really damn tired now that Castys was paying attention.
“Alright, your arm and cheek are going to need stitches, so please keep holding still like you’ve been doing.”
“They used to call me statue boy.” Kind of funny considering the time he almost did get turned into a statue, but that was a joke for just him. He clenched his fists and Alfyn approached with the needle and thread. He’d been through this more than once, he’d be fine, it was all things he’d felt before. The sensation of the needle poking into his skin, the tug of thread following behind, the hand on his chin…
“Hold still.”
“I’m trying, but it’s hard not to laugh at the faces you’re making.”
“I’m trying to focus here, Castys, come on. You don’t want this to be a super nasty scar, do you?”
“Uh…I don’t really care. As long as I can still eat food and stuff what does it matter? I don’t see anyone else besides you, and I don’t think you care either.”
“I-I don’t, but…maybe there will be other people, someday?”
“Even then, whatever. If they’re scared off by a scar on my face they’re probably losers, anyway.”
“So you’ll fit right in, then!”
“And yet you still hang out with me all of the time.”
“Yeah, ‘cause there’s literally no one else, dumbass. It’s not like I have options.”
“Sucks to suck. I’m…I’m okay with just you, though.”
“...Me too, Castys. But that might change if you don’t sit still.”
His scars hurting more than his actual wounds was stupid, but it was certainly happening. He left Alfyn’s quarters in sort of a daze, trying to bury everything the stitches had brought to the surface. Focus on anything and everything else, on the awful food, on talking with Kamon, on getting more respect from the other crewmates, on drinking stolen ale, on the share of the treasure he was promised once they reached land.
But that night, lying awake in his hammock as the crew snored around him, his scars still hurting, the pain cutting through the warm haze of the alcohol, he didn’t feel any less alone.
Next→
Castys Cult: @as-a-matter-of-whump @blackrosesandwhump @fanmanga1357-blog @thehopelessopus @just-a-whumping-racoon-with-wifi @hearse-song @muddy-swamp-bitch @whumpasaurus101 @yet-another-heathen @galaxywhump @starnight-whump @his-unspoken-words @misspelledwitch @suspicious-whumping-egg @pumpkin-spice-whump @painsandconfusion @i-can-even-burn-salad @befuddled-calico-whump @whumpinggrounds @whump-queen @whumpedydump @theelvishcowgirl
#i wrote something#castys#pirate whump#stitches#splinters#HAHAHA USING LEGACY EDITOR SINCE I SAVED A FEW BLANK POSTS TO MY DRAFTS#i wish i saved more but oh well#bit shorter of a thing it's less than 2k words wow#i just didnt have anything else i wanted to do with this one idk once again i feel like there's not much but also i know all the lore#i dont think ill be able to keelhaul him tho 😔 he's being a very well-behaved boy since he's so young so he doesnt have any reason to be#he's not used to pain like normal so he's scared of getting whipped again and that's enough to keep him in like#most people make random ocs and get attached to them#i make random ocs and end up using less than i planned on#but it is what it is ( ̄_ ̄;)#now im gonna work on goretober bits and maybe the next E&T chapter cuz it would be cool if i could finish that by halloween#i can write i just have to force myself to do it really i just want to game and watch anime in my free time#but i dont want that to be the case i would like to Make Something#oh and sorry the fight was like a paragraph/sentence it just wasnt working any other way so sorry if it's underwhelming or something idk
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ch8 is at 12k rn what do you mean what do you Mean
#i fucking . did not keep track at all and i just checked it girl what the fuck#and i still have two full sections to write pls is this one chapter gonna reach 20k ??? no??????#also i rewrote basically every section of the chapter so far (for good reason my god the old draft was garbage) so thats even more words#guys plan ur chapters ahead of time im so serious dont be like me#or ur gonna have a chapter 1 thats a 5min read and then a chapter 8 thats a whole hour#my post
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ohhhhh my god girl i don't careeeee
#love my roommate but urghhhh. sorry they dont make enough fictional female characters that interest u but u dont need to justify it to me#write your mlm its literally fine. sorry but ur not gonna gain my respect or approval by defending why u write more mlm than wlw#i dont care if u have equal amounts of each or not LOL we just have different tastes thats all there is to it#and I KNOOOOOOWWWW she writes femslash too im not denying that !!!!!!#most of my fav media is lesbian centric bc I have a strong connection to my identity as a dyke. so i gravitate towards things that explore-#that + complex relationships to gender + its social enforcement etcetc. and its easier for me to get attached to characters that i can-#connect with bc we have shared experiences or the world percieves us in similar ways or we percieve the world in similar ways etc#and shes said she DOESNT feel particularly attached to her sexuality in that way. so ofc shes not going to be looking for the same things-#in media and thats OKAY!!#literally have nothing against her writing gay men i like some fictional mlm relationships myself!! and its cool that she enjoys it#i just find it disappointing that we dont have much in common taste-wise bc thatd be more fun to talk abt#but thats why i come on tumblr dot com.. to talk abt fictional women w dykes who understand them like i do amen#and im happy to listen to her talk abt things she likes and projects shes clearly enjoying working on like thats awesome love to hear it#but sometimes its like shes trying to persuade me abt smth but theres nothing to persuade. i dont knooooow#like ik shes not trying to get me into her interests she already has plenty of friends who are. but theres no approval to win from me???#i think im just annoyed bc i feel like i cant rly talk abt the things im into w her bc she disliked them so much#and also annoying to be around someone who shares an identity w me but is clearly more uncomfortable w it than i am#maybe thats not even true actually the real reason im annoyed is bc ive had a long and exhausting week and im coming down from-#my first day on new meds and im soooo so so tired have i sajd that already. and my head hurts#and i want a fucking hug and im just projecting my lack of physical and emotional intimacy onto her bc she happens to be the person i-#spend the most time with. but thats really unfair of me its not her fault or obligation at all. ah i just want to shower and sleeeepp#and tomorrow day 2 of meds im gonna get so much shit done!!!!!!!! i hope.. i wanna finish drafting my comic too teehee#wouldnt it be so crazy if now im medicated i might actually be able to start and finish projects i reallyyyy want to do..#well i wont get my hopes up yet#anyway........#another day another 5 million tag rambling post complaining abt everything. and dont expect me to ever stop 😚#.diaries#literally why would i care abt the tastes of a girl whose fave character in tlt was naberius........#she rly had to pick one of the ONLY men and not even one of the particularly interesting ones. and shes not even straight???? her loss 🙄
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need need need more nsfw hc of Caitlin
Caitlin Clark hcs ; nsfw edition
꣑୧ — summary | nsfw hcs of Caitlin Clark !
— warnings | NSFW under the cut ! read @ ur own risk !
my master list ㇀♡
a/n : old draft !! sorry for not posting much lately ;( life is getting to me LMAO! Anywaysss enjoy ◡̈
definitely is a pleasure top. Prioritizes your pleasure over anythinggg else
i hc her as a switch , don’t get me wrong she absolutely loves taking care of you (and is dom like 75% of the time) but also loves it when you take control! she finds it so hot oml
not a strap girly (don’t cancel me!!!) i just feel like she’d rather feel herself in you. She loves having you get off on her tongue , but i mean she has 10 fingers of a reason…
her favorite place to leave hickeys on you is in between your thighs. where only she can see them
is super into sweet & soft sex , I don’t hc her as much as a aggressive partner during it
best believe ur having the BEST sex after a win
as far as kinks go…
i feel like she enjoys disciplining you , if you’re being a brat in public ; best believe ur in for it when you get home 😆
loveeees edging u! definitely wants to give u the best high / orgasm possible ! and (plus she loves the faces u make while you’re under her)
wants you to sit on her face 🤭
random ;
determines how many round you do based on how many points she loses by…
will deff tie u up if u asked !
is pretty open to try new things , down for whatever whenever
I don’t hc her as a super kinky person. Shes definitely more vanilla but not entirely
okok im deff gonna do a Paige version of this !! I feel like she’d be easier to write these for ngl… as always tysm for reading !
#wlw#wlw imagine#wcbb#headcannons#my hcs#caitlin clark#paige bueckers#wcbb x reader#caitlin clark x reader#iowa wbb#caitmylove#caitlin clark smut#wlw smut#wlw post#wlw ns/fw#wlw love
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(found this bad boy in my drafts and honestly i loved reading it again so we're gonna post it. wahoo)
my personal canon for post-starcourt stobin is that they're actually inseparable for the first month or so
im talking steve taken to the hospital for his injuries and the staff having to force them apart and call security. im talking they have to drag robin kicking and screaming to a different room because last time Steve left her sight he was dragged back lifeless and presumably dead (i firmly believe they intentionally used physical torture for steve and to use his condition for psychological torture for robin)
and steve waking up half-present in a cold plain room alone? might as well be back in the bunker. and if theres doctors trying to run tests and examine his wounds? might as well be Russian soldiers standing over him and touching his injuries. hurting him again. possibly planning to hurt Robin next.
and now hospital staff are trying to deal with two screaming desperate teenagers who keep begging for the other in between rambles of nonsense and they can't run tests or do their jobs or even get answers from them because all these two seem to care about is the other teen
so they don't really have any practical choices other than moving them to a combined room. and they still freak out every now and then but having the other in the room keeps these outbursts much shorter and doctors are able to actually run tests and help these kids as long as they're close together. And when Robins blood tests and everything come back ok and shes able to be discharged, shes given special permission to stay in the room at all times
and the two little kids that came in with them? they're not exactly freaking out quite like the teens but they're certainly not making things easy either. Ericas testing the willpower of any doctor or nurse she can speak to and both kids stay as close as they can at all times and refuse to leave the hospital. visiting hours over? they're in the waiting room, even convinced a couple to move so they can have seats closest to the hall that teens room is in. try to call their parents? good luck getting a full name or number out of them. once their parents do come get them they're showing back up in an hour, bikes lodged in the bike rack and back in their seats. they've been stopped for sneaking in several times and caught hiding under one of the teens beds even more often. eventually staff just gets tired of spending half their shift wrangling two middle schoolers and it becomes an unspoken agreement to just ignore them hiding in the room.
And once Steve is discharged its the same thing all over again. Robins parents were worried about her spending all her time in the hospital with the boy from her summer job, but given the cover story about the fire and the pair getting trapped inside they convinced themselves its reasonable to want to stay by your friends side while they recover
but now that hes out, shes asking if she can spend the night at his house? and his parents won't be there? absolutely not. except robins in no mindset to accept leaving him alone for this long let alone overnight so she tried sneaking out to bike over to his before he can get the dumb idea to drive over in the middle of the night post-concussion. but the buckleys notice shes gone either because she makes too much noise sneaking out or they notice the severe lack of Robin-trying-to-be-quiet noises into the night (robin my tism queen definitely has bump-into-shit syndrome in the middle of the night but she also doesn't make any noise sneaking around the base with scoops troop so i think it's a 50/50 weather she can use the adrenaline to sneak out to see steve quietly)
so they put two and two together and drive over to the Harrington house. steve answers the door and calls robin over, both of them looking sheepish but not exactly guilty. they talk on steves couch (yes Steves there too) and stobin does their best to explain their separation anxiety that gets the severity across without getting them sent to a mental hospital all while making sure not to break any ndas (which ends up being a long conversation with stobin trying to translate their experience in the bunker to fit the cover story well enough, which is very different when the real story is kidnapping and the fake one is a building fire)
eventually they reach an understanding of "we're worried this is kinda unhealthy but its clearly more stressful to try and separate you right now and we're definitely not going to be able to stop you" so they compromise to let steve stay at the buckleys for a little bit so they can at least keep an eye on them. at first they try just letting steve sleep on the couch (which they agree to because steve worried about overstepping as the guest in their house) but one or both of them have nightmares the first night and robin ends up on the couch with him anyway.
after a few nights they get the gist of the stobin dynamic: attached so strongly its concerning but nothing... flirty. anything they do is always completely innocent. hand holding with no heart eyes, banter with no tension, hell even sharing a bed they resemble little kids in a sleepover pile more than lovers. and especially after nightmares they'll find robin holding steve like hes just one of her old teddy bears.
of course theyre still cautious and have their suspicions that theyre secretly dating and just really good at hiding it, they're paranoid parents after all and robins never shown this much attention to a boy ever. but they do relax a bit with it as they're more confident theres no... funny business.. going on. or at the very least nothing thats going to leave robin hurt. they'll have their talks and robin will promise its "nothing like that", but they've grown to like steve so they're sure robin will come to them when shes ready.
now if only there was a reasonable explanation for the middle schoolers that keep showing up. apparently they were also trapped in the fire with robin and steve which helps make some sense of it, but they also sat with them in the hospital. surely if they're having nightmares about the fire they'd go to their parents? they hadn't really talked much with the sinclairs but they seemed like very loving parents and robin follows steve to his little dinners with mrs Henderson pretty often so its not likely that they can't go to their parents about nightmares, but they seem to prefer going to steve specifically. like ringing the Buckley's doorbell at 1 in the morning asking if steves there. and of course they'll let them in and show them to robins room (after calling their parents first, do they even know their childs run off?) where steve was sleeping in a pallet on the floor but is now a glorified blanket pile robins hugging. on her bed, of course. because god forbid theres 2 feet of space between them.
and the kid just joins them in their sleepover pile, dustin usually clinging to steves other side like a baby koala and erica usually finding a spot leaning against robin or occasionally making room in between them
and so more often than not the Buckley's have not one, not two, but three extra children in their house that isn't their daughter, all of them sleeping in a pile on robins bed like theres nowhere else they'd rather be
#stranger things#stobin#platonic stobin#steve harrington#robin buckley#steve and robin#platonic with a capital p#platonic soulmates stobin#stranger things season 3#post-starcourt#devon thinks sometimes
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Y2K!!
#??: BLUE LOCK BOYS AS 2000s MOVIE TROPES.
#CAUTION: PROBABLY MAKING SHIT UP AS I GO BUT WHO CARES. LOTS OF COMPOUND SENTENCES???
#BERRY'S PRE-WRITING NOTE: if you're gonna ask, "wow aya did you actually research 2000s movie tropes to write this", the answer is going to be a big fat NOOOO im going off my idea of a 2000s movie using all the ones i watched as a kid/recently. some of these may be like late 2000s at most but we're sticking to y2k lol
Jock/Popular boy that asks you out and makes you his girlfriend because his friends dared him to do it. But then he starts to actually like you and falls for you eventually. He'll run after you during prom when his friends out him and reveal that it was all a dare (initially) and tries to repair your broken heart, even if it meant embarrassing himself. Movie ends with you forcing him to do a really embarrassing dare during graduation in front of everybody to make up for hurting you.
-> OTOYA, OLIVER, Shidou (?), Imamura, Kuon (if we up his asshole-ness jusssttt a bit more), KAISER
MC's comedic relief bestfriend (most of whose lines get followed by a laugh track if the movie is bad) who wasn't even interested in you (the bff of the love interest), but as the movie goes on, you two forcibly spend more and more time with each other and eventually have to concoct the final plan that'll get MC and his love interest together. when he tries to confess 3 minutes before the movie's ending, you have to pull him in by the collar and give him a big fat kiss instead because he can't stop rubbing the back of his neck and stuttering (then credits roll as a zoom-out shot starts)
-> BACHIRA!!!!, KARASU, IGAGURI, ZANTETSUUUUUUU, Naruhaya (?), Nanase, Neru
Guy bestfriend who watches you go through severe superficial change and become somebody totally different just to be with the popular guy. You two become distant and a huge fight blows up between the two of you, and you two stop talking. After going out with popular guy, you realize how much you hate him and ditch him. You and guy bestfriend both realize how much you two actually love each other and can't stand not being together. Guy bestfriend and you both coincidentally run to the place you two usually hung out in as kids, you out of post-date frustration and him to clear his mind after what happened. You dramatically approach each other and exchange a few words before one of you confesses to fix things, then seal it with a kiss with the moon in the background.
-> Isagi, YUKIMIYA, Reo, Ness, BAROU, Kunigami
Hot vampire boyfriend. That's it lol.
-> ARYU.
#BERRY'S POST-WRITING NOTE: if you havent noticed i kinda left out the two fandom favourites (sae and rin) for the sole reason that i dont know what kind of trope they would be in. like, idk man. they're too THEM to fit into any of these or any bs trope i could come up with. i also couldnt find one for my tokimitsu but oh well he fits into another one though (MY BOYFRIEND) :333 hope you enjoyed this peepol. lets hope my two other bllk related works make it out of drafts lolol
#berry.writes <3#blue lock x reader#bllk x reader#blue lock#isagi x reader#kaiser x reader#reo x reader#karasu x reader#ness x reader#bachira x reader#shidou x reader
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HI there, hate to bother you but i was wondering if you could do the amazing digital circus head canons for a gn! reader who acts a lot like ena
if you have never heard of it you can check on the ena wiki but i would really love if you did something like this so thanks
TADC x ENA type!GN!reader
typically i would do all the characters in one post, but its starting to get late and tumblr wont let me save half answered asks in my drafts for some reason TToTT so im gonna split the cast in half, if you want the rest of the characters you can send in a second ask so i can remember to do everyone else :0! also my apolocheese for any personality mistakes, i think i watched ena a long time ago but was confused/didnt watch the whole thing so uh uh!! relying on a character wiki for this (on that focuses on season 1 so uh uh, idk if that will impact anything) little bonus bonus incorporating enas color thing into this cuz uh we can say its digital world stuff ooo that gives me an oc idea; oc whos like the mayor from nightmare before christmas who has a spinny head/face thing that relates to their emotions
CAINE:
caines is going to be shorter because hes just your number one fan regardless of your personality, in fact he probably has a silly shirt with your face on it somewhere
will do everything in his power to make sure youre happy and content, and will do everything to cheer you up when you switch over to your sad side
takes you to wherever it is that he 'sleeps' when you get overwhelmed by stuff and keeps you there until both of you are sure that youll be okay and your blues are long gone
you and him easily match energies, sometimes he will even try to one up you with using fancy intricate words
POMNI:
writing pomnis part first but oh funny is it that pomni and ena have the same VA
anyways
absolutely loves you, but she is so so worried about stressing you out and switching to your 'sad form', tries to (often times unsuccessfully) cheer you up
honestly you both need a break, things in the circus are hectic and insane, and considering pomni just got here she is going to need your help to get used to things
not much to be said since i think pomni is another character i struggle to write
JAX:
initially teases you for how fast you switch up, its almost like gangle being more upbeat with her comedy mask and more sad when its broken
tones it down a little when you explain you cant really control it whereas gangles case is just her being more confident with the comedy mask (at least thats my hc)
sometimes give you weird looks when you use an unnecessarily long set of fancy words to describe something mundane
bro is fighting the urge to mimic it
surprisingly does the kind thing, he takes you off to the side when something stresses you out so you can have a minute to compose yourself
RAGATHA:
optimistic sweetheart meets ray of sunshine, you two are an unstoppable force of good and kind of rub off on some of the others
similar to jax when you get stressed out or upset about something, usually when its an in house adventure, she sweeps you to the side and helps calm you down. she probably knows some breathing techniques, i think
ignoring the fact they probably dont need to breathe but thats asides the poin
#tadc x reader#the amazing digital circus x reader#digital circus x reader#caine x reader#jax x reader#pomni x reader#ragatha x reader
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[image id: an ask from @harbingerofskulls that reads: "im gonna b real i only knew the jerking off i would love to hear you elaborate more if you want to go on the whole situation" /end id]
answering here so i can save as a draft without risking the ask disappearing bc tumblr's been doing that lately but
oh god </3 for everyone else- it's talking about this post. sooo i'm gonna go through each one bc i've been feeling insane for several weeks. i'll do my best to cite my sources lmao
i don't know (johnny johnny)
this is referring to this unreleased VERY early beatles track from 1960. the audio quality is absolute shit & as such unfortunately people love to put words to it that don't make much sense in either direction (i.e a lot of mclennon fans want to hear "you're in love with me" and a lot of people that hate mclennon will just make up the weirdest lyrics that make 0 sense so it's Not Gay). some of the lyrics that ARE clear make it obvious this song is about the two of them running away together- at one point i'm fairly certain paul says "how am i gonna tell my father that we're leaving town?" probably referring to them leaving to hamburg. which would be fine but some of the other lyrics areeeee..... very..... Hm. like multiple times paul refers to john as "my boy" and there's bits of them talking about not knowing what to tell their friends & wanting to just run off together alone. if i were the other members of the band having to record this i would have killed them with hammers <3 also the entire end is just paul going "oh johnny" like 1 million times. okay. sure. also since the lyrics ARE so garbled i mean i guess people could be right about it saying "how am i gonna tell my father you're in love with me" but i just don't hear it. still, a very gay song about running off together and getting away from everything and everyone, complete with moaning the other's name </3
2. paris
this one is a huge part of McLennon Fandom Lore lmao but for good reason. not citing sources on all this bc it's one of those that's just Fact & can be found in like any beatles biography or thebeatlesbible.com (my savior) but. for john's 21st birthday, he got 100 pounds from a rich relative. instead of taking his girlfriend or any of his other friends, he decided to use the money to take paul to spain. but they stopped in paris on the way and just decided to stay there. which i mean like. taking your best friend over your girlfriend to the city of love is a little weird but it's not THAT weird. it's everything else that makes people want to chew glass about it. including some of the other things on this list. like this audio of john just goofing around singing about paris and paul, with such hits as "my cheri, my pau pau my pau paul." which is :| okay best friend. and paul has this picture hung up in his house that he took of john sleeping in paris. okay. sure. why not. (although ig there's some doubt about if the photo is from paris? either way it's a picture paul took and has framed in his house which is incriminating enough my man). also NOT in the original post but may pang, a woman john had a brief affair with in the 70s, wrote a book called loving john. in it, there's this quote:
After a late lunch, Linda launched into a long paean to the joys of living in England. When she was finished, she turned to John and said, “Don’t you miss England?”
“Frankly,” John replied, “I miss Paris.”
okay! also in an interview once he said:
The thing was all the kissing and the holding that was going on in Paris. And it was so romantic, just to be there and see them, even though I was twenty-one and sort of not romantic. But I really loved it, the way the people would just stand under a tree kissing; and they weren’t mauling at each other, they were just kissing.
(interview with david scheff for playboy in september 1980)
3. if i fell
this one i already made an insane post on that started my spiral into posting about the beatles publicly </3 but, essentially, the song "if i fell" by john is..... well it's most likely about paul. he said it wasn't about his wife but that it was auto-biographical and he never really had any public affairs that weren't flings, certainly not a lover. but most damning is he wrote the complete lyrics for the first time on a valentine's day card addressed "to paul with love" with some hearts and arrows pointing to where the lyrics were written. absolutely insane. made me insane.
4. oh! darling
rawest paul song of all time if i do say so myself lmao. but it's just.... Highly Suspicious, that's what it is. a Lot of beatles fans/historians will admit this song is most likely about john but they won't admit that it's fucking romantic if it is. like.
like that is so blatantly romantic idk what to say other than that. also, in the official recording on abbey road, there's Several points where paul says "darling" that sound more like he's saying "johnny" which is what he called him. people brush it off by saying it's his accent, but there's a very clear difference between when he's saying "darling" and when he's saying "johnny". i mean the Lore behind this is that it was written right when things were splitting up between them (& the rest of the band) so it makes sense and it's why most people are willing to accept it's about john. it's just insane to me that they'll accept it's about john without considering the implications of that.
5. the real life demo
this one made me want to light myself on fire i won't lie to you. but here it is! john had a song called "real love" and this is a very early demo of it. but instead of the lyrics that came to actually be in the song (which are thought to be about yoko but let's not get into the fact that it was on a tape labeled "for paul" but whatever), it includes john fucking crying as he sings saying:
"was i just dreaming or was it only yesterday? i used to hold you in my arms. and now a baby and another on the way... la la la la farm..."
which can quite literally be about no one else but paul, as this demo was recorded when he'd just had two children with his wife linda and linda was pregnant with their third child. they'd moved to a farm in scotland. hearing this audio clip did genuinely make me want to lie down in the dirt for a week. also "i used to hold you in my arms" just... yeah. god. when people think it was unrequited idk what to say, really.
6. If Paul Were A Woman-
shoving these two together but. in april of 85, paul said in an interview about john and yoko's relationship:
"I mean, I couldn’t stand in the way of someone who’d fallen in love. You can’t say, 'Who’s this?' You can’t really do that. If I was a girl, maybe I could go out and…"
okay bestie <3 and what would make your relationship different if you were a woman? interesting! and yoko had something similar to say. in this audio, she says:
"I’m sure that if he had been a woman or something, he would have been a great threat – because there’s something definitely very strong between John and Paul."
just reminds me of being a kid and telling my best friends "if i were a boy i'd date you" lol. incredible. does anyone here know about bisexuality.
7. stuart!
not much to say here except that john had a best friend, stu sutcliffe, who died young & before that had been the bassist in the band. paul fucking hated him sooo much oh he SEETHED. a lot has been written on that relationship but it was.... very interesting to say the least. it could have just been about the band, or just jealousy over john's friendship, but take that with a lot of john biographers suspecting john had feelings/even a sexual relationship with stuart and it paints a very Interesting picture to say the least
8. john's bisexuality
here's a compilation of quotes about it, but john was more than likely bisexual. which has nothing to do w paul, really, but more to do against people that like to claim they were both Heterosexual Men. although an interesting quote in this compilation is him saying he's "had paul" lmfao
9. paul's post-beatles work
there's just.... there is so so so much here i don't even know where to begin. @ringompreg has a good compilation of paul songs here. a lot of them do take a bit of Lore but like..... it comes down to the fact that both him and john have/had admitted many times to using their lyrics during The Breakup Years to talk to/reference each other and sooooo many of these lyrics are insanely blatant. the two i mentioned were tug of war and let me roll it, both of which are acknowledged to be about john by most people WITH NO ONE BOTHERING TO ACKNOWLEDGE THE IMPLICATIONS OF THAT which..... tug of war has this:
we could stand on top of the mountain with our flag unfurled? dancing to a beat played on a different drum? this is what gaylors think gaylor conspiracy is but paul mccartney is really out here saying this shit.
and let me roll it is so fucking blatantly romantic but every reviewer is like haha! what a cool song that's "making fun" of john and clearly in his style! like are straight people stupid genuinely. anyway:
bonus to that but about JOHN'S solo work :)))))) he wrote a song called "watching the wheels" and when you consider he very much responded to MANY of paul's solo stuff it's :)
which as a response to let me roll it would just be... so devestating but it may be a stretch idk if i'm onto anything there it's just worth Mentioning
and there's a lot of others, a lot of them in that post up there. like far too many where paul mentions falling in love with a friend like Alright.
10. paul's first lsd trip with john/"i know" "i know"
this one is less blatantly romantic but it is just insane. here's an article. and a quote from george martin about it. the first time paul tripped on acid w john was bc john accidentally took some and he took him home & then took acid w him bc he didn't want john to be alone on the trip :( but, notably:
"And we looked into each other’s eyes, the eye contact thing we used to do, which is fairly mind-boggling. You dissolve into each other. But that’s what we did, round about that time, that’s what we did a lot," the singer recalled, "And it was amazing. You’re looking into each other’s eyes and you would want to look away, but you wouldn’t, and you could see yourself in the other person. It was a very freaky experience and I was totally blown away."
he also apparently saw john as the, and i quote, "emperor of eternity" during this trip??????? okay
SOMEWHERE i can't find it rn and i'm getting lazy but somewhere they (i think paul?) talk about the fact that they used to just stare into each other's eyes and then say "i know" "i know" which. considering john's song "i know (i know)" makes me crazy
11. in my life/i will
these are really just some devastating songs with lyrics that make you really raise your eyebrows. for in my life, written by john, it's just an incredibly romantic & sweet song that is again, not about his wife. given that the lennon estate is still out here posting pictures of paul to those lyrics i have to say it's a liiiiittle suspicious. and i will is...... it's one that paul insists is not about his girlfriend at the time, jane asher. and when you look at the lyrics vs how him and john met.... like. the song goes:
and the story of how they met was that paul saw john repeatedly before they ever met, when he didn't know who john was other than that he thought he looked cool & admired his sideburns (lmfao). and when they did finally meet, it was when john was singing at a garden fete (party) and paul was in the crowd just Mesmerized. so. well. you can see.... you can see how fitting that is. makes me crazy makes me want to chew glass actually
12. "we were each other's intimates" and other insane quotes
"we were each other's intimates" is a paul quote about john which is just insane but that's not even the tip of the iceberg. here's a ton of quote compilations.
13. "literally everything else"/honorable mentions
some honorable mentions go out to: john going on stage w elton john & playing i saw her standing there and introducing it as "a song by an estranged fiance of mine" okay! the "just like starting over" demos. okay! which isn't even to MENTION the fact that paul locked himself away in the studio listening to "just like starting over" on repeat for DAYS after john died like???? john saying repeatedly that he considered paul & yoko to be his two major partners in life including in an interview the literal day he died. a whole ass rpf movie where they kiss & talk like they're ex-lovers and dance in central park (two of us) made by the same dude that made the let it be movie like. he knew them personally? he worked with them closely? and the only thing paul had to say about it was just essentially that it was what he wished would've happened like???????? i can't find a super reliable source for this so take it w a grain of salt, but apparently paul referred to mclennon fanfiction as "beautiful stories" and doesn't mind them being written. paul also had a cat that had kittens & he named two of the kittens pyramus and thisbe after fictional lovers he and john played and he gave pyramus (the character paul played) to john :|
and literally so much else like all of this and it's not even all of it. it's not even close to all of it. i didn't even get to talk about the way in "get back" the documentary, paul started talking about john leaving the band for yoko and how john would choose her over them and then he got teary eyed, started choke laughing, and then started singing "build me up buttercup" before looking at the cameras and stopping. what the FUCK was that about! IT'S NOT EVEN GETTING INTO THE SONG "TWO OF US" THAT'S SO OBVIOUSLY ABOUT JOHN THAT IT HURTS. it's. it's not even scratching the surface. they were just genuinely insane about each other.
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How to Break a Heart
pairing: Luke Castellan x Fem!Aphrodite!Reader
summary: Y/N's mother gives her a deadline on when she needs to break her first love's heart, but Y/N isn't in love. Luckily Luke has a plan to fool the goddess; they'll pretend to be in love, and Y/N can break his heart. But these plans never go accordingly.
word count: 4341
warnings: betrayal, no comfort but there is still fluff for most of it
notes: luke castellan has taken over my life i have like 9 drafts so we'll see how this goes (i'm always scared to post for a new character so any love is appreciated greatly)
part 2
masterlist
"How did it go?" Luke asked as Y/N walked out of the Aphrodite cabin. Her mother had requested an IM with her, and Luke had waited outside for her. Y/N didn't look too happy, but she never did after a talk with her mom.
"She thinks it's time." Y/N said, and as much as he wished he could read her mind, he had no idea what she was talking about.
"For what?" He asks, following as she begins to walk into the woods. It's clear she just needs to be on a walk to be away from everyone else, but she's letting him tag along.
"She said it's an embarrassment that I'd become an adult and still hadn't broken my love's heart." She says. "But I haven't fallen in love with anyone yet, and I don't wanna break some innocent person's heart." She stops talking when they reach the river, sitting on the wet ground. He thinks about his pants real quick and then sits next to her, wanting to give her his support.
"She gave you a time limit?" Luke asks, knowing the answer. The Aphrodite kids didn't usually go on quests, but this was a quest of its own. She knew the gods couldn't resist making things more difficult.
"Yeah. Four months. As if I could fall in love with someone in that time, let alone here." She grabs a rock and throws it into the current, the splash barely touching them.
"Maybe you don't have to." Luke whispered, looking at her. She turned to him, brows furrowed as she rested her head against her bent knees.
"I don't think my mom is gonna let it slide any further than she already has. The truth is, I've been putting this off for years. She's wanted me to break some pour soul's heart for two years now. Every time she's visited me, it's always 'what about that Hephestas boy?' or 'that Apollo kid looks so nice now.' I don't wanna know what she'll do if I disobey." Y/N admits, taking a deep breath.
"That's not what I meant." Luke smirked, causing Y/N to frown.
"What are you talking about, then?" She asks, sitting up and looking at him face on.
"If we pretend that we're in love - I mean, put on a whole show that convinces the whole camp," Luke says it quietly, as if Aphrodite may be listening to them right now.
"Then I can 'break' your heart and please my mom without actually hurting anyone!" She says excitedly, watching as Luke nods. "You're a genius!" She cried, throwing her arms around Luke. She was so happy to have this weight lifted off her shoulders. He held her back, and it felt nice for a moment.
"So, what's the story?" Y/N asked, leaning back and pulling her knees up and leaning on them gently now, instead of hiding behind them.
"We just have to pretend to be dating. I invited you over here to ask you out, so we'll walk back to camp holding hands." He said it so simply, she just nodded.
"What about kissing? Won't they get suspicious?" She asked, making Luke chuckle.
"We can figure that out later." He told her, and she just nodded. "For now, we only have to convince our friends."
"And the olympians." She shrugged.
"Only your mom. The rest of them won't care." Luke told her, standing up. He reached out a hand to help her up, and she took it. He then switched hands to hold her's, interlacing their fingers. Y/N had held hands with many boys, being a daughter of Aphrodite, but for some reason Luke's felt different. She was holding the hand he used to fight with his sword, calloused but somehow smooth. She looked at him, and for a moment she wondered if this would work. It was crazy to lie to a god, even if the goddess was her mother. Could she really pretend to be in love and break his heart? Would they still be friends afterward?
Luke squeezed her hand and smiled, and she felt relief flow through her. If there was anyone who could pull this off, it was Luke.
"We got this." He told her, and she nodded.
They walked to camp, hand in hand, and Y/N knew immediately that this idea would work.
"Oh my God!" Her sister Silena called, immediately seeing Luke and Y/N. "Uh, I knew it!" And Y/N pushed down the urge to roll her eyes. She could have come out of the woods with anyone and Silena would have claimed to have seen it coming.
And just like that, everyone knew they were together.
For about a month, they got away with just hand holding, hanging out a little more than regular, going on a couple night walks. But on one of their night walks, Luke brought up what she had been thinking.
"We have to kick it up. If we want people to think we really fell in love in four months, we have to be inseparable." He told her.
"Silena has already caught on. We have to make it look like we got caught doing something." She had been thinking about it, not wanting to go there, but they both knew there was no way around this. They had to make it believable. Everyone had to believe them for this to work.
"The Hermes cabin." Luke nodded, but Y/N furrowed her brows.
"But your cabin is like, never empty." She told him, concerned.
"Anyone who finds us in the Hermes cabin will tell everyone immediately. And we will get found basically as soon as we're in there." He had definitely thought about this.
"We'll get in trouble." She tells him, looking to the side at the water.
"Us getting in trouble for getting caught in a cabin alone together?" He smirks, squeezing her hand. "Yeah, I'm sure your mom will be really angry." When she turned to him he was smiling, and she couldn't help but smile back.
"You're a genius." She almost kisses him, because that's what she would do in the situation, but then she remembered they're not actually dating. She was almost embarrassed, but then she realized.
"We can't do this without ramping our relationship up a bit." She tells him, and he thinks for a second. He turns to the trees, and the smile is on his face once more.
"The younger kids are watching." He whispered, making her blush. Of course their younger siblings would be watching their romantic walk. "If it's okay with you," He mutters stopping and turning to her. He takes her other hand. "I can kiss your cheek. Or we," She drops is hands and grabs his face, bringing his lips to hers. She knew they'd have to kiss in front of everyone sooner or later, and clearly Luke was freaking out a little bit. She felt his hands go to her torso, high above her waist but just a little below her bra line. It made her heart race just a little bit.
Their lips moved in tandem, much more than any first kiss she's ever had before. She forgot everything as one of her hands slipped from his face to his chest. One of his slipped to her lower back, the other going to the back of her head. They broke for one second to reposition, but for some reason it was too much for her. She curled her fingers into his orange Camp Half-Blood shirt and brought him closer once more. She could feel him smile as he curled his fingers in her hair to position her better.
All too quickly, they separated. Y/N blinked a couple times, trying to clear her brain.
"I think they got the hint." He tells her, and she could only stare at him and try to figure out what he just said.
"Yeah," She whispered, realizing he was talking about their rouse. Of course, the only reason they had kissed was to get the camp talking. "They'll definitely be talking about that."
She didn't want to think about how upset she was, or why she was upset. This was fake - everything with Luke was fake.
"We should head back before Chiron comes and puts us on probation or something." She said, watching him nod. She let him lead her back to her cabin, where he gave her a kiss and a wink outside her door.
She was in trouble.
~
The next day, they met up to watch the kids make friendship bracelets. Luke had already made a deal with Travis, and no one noticed when the two left.
"We have a couple minutes until everyone comes in." He tells her, and she nods. He walks over to his bed, the single one in the corner of the huge cabin. Y/N has never seen it completely empty, and when she looks around it seems too quiet.
"How do you wanna," She mutters, heart pounding. She's nervous, and it's obvious.
"Hey," His voice is quiet, and she looks over at him. "We don't have to do anything that you don't wanna do." His hand goes to her har, pushing her hair out of her face a little bit. She had to force herself not to look away.
"We have to." She mutters, a sad frown on her face. They both knew she didn't have a choice for this.
"But we can just get caught alone." He assures her, sitting back on his bed. Y/N stays where she is.
"No, it has to be more. We have to convince everyone." She is convincing herself too, that she has to do this. She doesn't go on quests, and this isn't even courageous. This is something her siblings do for fun. She can do it for her mother.
"Okay," He tells her, grabbing her hands. She's about to ask how they should be set up, but then there's footsteps on the stairs. Before she can think, she practically pounces on Luke. She's straddling him, pressing him against the bed. Their hands became untangled and his go to her waist, lower than their first kiss. She hears the door open, and her heart freezes.
What are they doing?
Before she can mess up the entire plan, Luke leans up and presses their lips together. She doesn't know what to do with her hands, just letting them hold her up while Luke's venture under her shirt.
"Oh my gods!" Y/N and Luke separate with wide eyes. They were planning on getting caught, but not by her.
"Annabeth?" Luke whispers, turning to see his sister in the doorway, hand over her eyes.
"Shit," Y/N curses, getting up. She realizes her shirt is all scrunched, so she pulls it down.
"What a weird camp." The kid next to Annabeth says. Y/N notices him for the first time, a short kid that looked like he was enjoying this drama. He has to be new, because she's never seen him around and definitely never with Annabeth.
"This is strange." Ananbeth crosses her arms and squints. Y/N feels like she can see right through them.
"Oh, Chiron is not gonna be happy." The kid says, smiling. Before Y/N can argue that neither of them would tell the centaur, he walks up behind them.
"That assumption would be correct, Mr. Jackson." She has to remind herself that this was the plan, that they wanted to get caught.
"Chiron," Y/N says, looking up at him as he walks into the wide door frame. Annabeth and the kid move to let him in, also showing Y/N and Luke the amount of people behind him, waiting to see the
"This is unexpected from you two." He says, and Y/N can feel herself second guessing this plan. She doesn't like to be scolded by Chiron. Luke grabs her hand as if he knew what she was thinking.
"We're sorry, Chiron." Luke started, taking a deep breath.
"But we're not kids anymore," Y/N starts, the confidence coming from no where. "And sometimes we need time on our own." She can feel everyone's eyes on her, including Luke's.
"We can talk about this in the Big House." Chiron was clearly peeved, but she knew he couldn't get that mad. Everyone knew why Luke and Y/N stayed even though they were the oldest campers; they would be dead in the real world.
"You're up to something." Annabeth says as everyone leaves.
"I'm always up to something." Luke smirks before looking at the new kid. "I'm Luke."
"I'm Percy." The kid says, looking over at Y/N.
"Y/N." She nods, a small smile on her face. She looked at Annabeth, who knew something was up. She had to ramp it up.
She put a hand on Luke's shoulder and kissed his cheek, squeezing his hand and leaving. It had to be enough for now.
~
As it turned out, Annabeth went on a quest a couple weeks later, so they didn't need to worry about convincing her. But Luke was practically sick with worry for her wellbeing, and Y/N wasn't much better. Her deadline was coming up, and she was actually dreading it.
She was enjoying Luke's presence, enjoying the touches and the attention. She knew it was her mother's powers making her feel this way, but part of it was just her. She actually looked forward to waking up and going to see Luke. She thought about the night that they had fallen asleep in the warm sand, his chest cushioning her head. His arms were around her, and when they were caught in the morning she didn't even care about Chiron's second warning. Luke had snuck them desert anyway.
It helped calm her down from worrying about the kids on a quest, the fate of which would in turn decide the fate of Camp Half-Blood. She hated the feeling of war in the air, the campers fighting. Luke's comfort helped that situation as well. He would always grab her close, making her anxiety calm down and her mind quiet. She had taken to hanging out with him away from everyone's eyes, aside from plans to get caught. They would lay in the strawberry fields, looking at the clouds. Sometimes she would fall asleep, giving away the fact that she couldn't sleep in her own bed at night. As soon as Luke realized this, he made the Aphrodite cabin swear to secrecy when he would sneak in. They were great at keeping secrets when it helped their sister's love life, and her health. She had gotten so used to Luke sleeping in her bed, it was weird to think there was a time when he wasn't.
The first time it happened, she had almost jumped out of her skin.
It was right before the kids left, when everyone started to get uneasy about the Lightning Bolt. She had made a random comment that day when her and Luke were sitting on the dock, because she was too tried from her lack of sleep. They had been 'dating' for two months now, and even before she would tell him these things as his best friend. She had almost fallen asleep with her head resting against his shoulder, and he had shaken her awake. She stumbled to her cabin, not even wanting to tell her siblings about the night, but she couldn't sleep.
Everyone knew she had problems sleeping, so they tried to be as quiet as possible. They let her keep her window open, even though it dried their skin. And though her body was absolutely begging her to sleep, her mind wouldn't turn off.
She jumped out of her skin when she heard Luke's low voice.
"Thank the gods your window is already open." She shot up, heart racing. She looked over to see Luke climbing in. "And also thank the gods you live on the bottom bunk." His voice was so quiet she could barely hear, but at least she knew her siblings wouldn't hear. She knew they would never tell Chiron, since they loved a good relationship.
"What are you doing?" She asked, eyes wide and a smile playing on her face. His scar shown in the moonlight as he sat on the windowsill, taking off his shoes. He handed them to her, and she put them down gently on the ground before lowering himself down on her bed.
"I'm gonna help you sleep." He told her, looking at her in a way that made her heart race just a little. Even in the little privacy, where no one could see them, he was caring for her.
"You don't have to." She turned her head down, feeling self conscious in her bonnet. He smiled at her.
"I want to."
The two settled in, Y/N lifting up the covers for Luke to come under. They switched positions so she could sleep next to the wall, his arms around her immediately. She felt so secure and safe in his arms, more relaxed than she had felt in weeks. He settled his face against her head, giving the softest kiss to her forehead. So soft she was questioning it as her mind drifted away.
When she woke up, she was in his arms. The sun was up, and it was much later than she had woken up in the past month.
"Tell him I went on a walk. And she's sick." Luke was whispering, his voice rumbling in his chest that Y/N was laying against. Given the small size of the bed, they were entangled. Her legs were fused with his, her torso stuck between the wall and Luke's body. Her hand was entangled into his sleep shirt, and she didn't untangle it because that would have given up that she was awake. And she wanted to stay like this a little longer.
And she was enjoying the warm light and the nice morning.
"You know he'll come in here anyway." A boy was saying, but Y/N didn't want to listen. Without thinking, she rubbed her face into Luke's shirt, trying to get more comfortable. She rubbed a leg against his, shifting and sighing.
"If you wake her up," Luke's voice sounded venomous, and it made her start to smile a little. Her head felt so light but also so heavy in a good way. She didn't think she could feel that way.
"Fine, I'm gone." The guy said, and Y/N heard his footsteps walk away. She stretched for a second, settling down so that her leg was thrown over his and she was more on top of him than against the wall. Her hand relaxed, still holding onto his shirt but not as tightly.
"You awake?" Luke whispered so quietly for a moment he didn't think she heard him.
"No." She said quietly, feeling her breathing even out.
"Alright." He brushes his hand against her back, soothing her even more. "Let me know when you're awake."
~
All the Aphrodite kids were working overtime to make sure that Chiron never found out that Luke was sneaking into the cabin and also to keep the Hermes cabin from snitching. And also from keeping the harpies from killing Luke.
It was a full-time job.
They usually slept in Y/N's bunk, because her siblings just wanted her to be happy. They all knew that she was supposed to break someone's heart, but they tried not to talk about it. No one else knew about the deadline.
"Can you tell me how you got your scar?" Y/N asked one night, tracing the mark as they laid in bed. She had been getting so much sleep with him that she was able to stay up a little bit with him now and whisper low enough that no one else could hear.
"You don't wanna hear about it before it before you go to bed." He whispers, eyes going dark and hand grabbing hers, stopping her from touching it. Her heart drops, and she feels like a little kid scolded.
"You never told me." She mutters, not wanting to push but wanting to know. They'd gotten so close now that she wanted to know everything about him before she no longer had an excuse to be around him all the time.
Oh gods, how was she going to sleep without him?
"You're already overthinking." He whispers, and she just huffs and tries her hardest to turn from him while his arms are around her and she's also stuck between him and the wall. For a moment she thought about throwing herself over him and getting up, just to prove a point, but she knew that was taking things a little too far.
"I just wanted to be there for you like you are for me." She knew that didn't have nightmares like most demigods did; at least, if he got them, he hadn't had any since he'd been with her. But she also knew no one could deal with everything on their own, and if he wasn't telling her, who else was he telling?
"I'm okay." He tells her, settling in and making her start to get comfortable again. She stretched, leaned against him and let her eyes close, trying to forget about his scar.
Something about the conversation rubbed her the wrong way.
~
The kids returned and the war was avoided, and now Annabeth seemed to have her own relationship problems. It made Y/N relieved, then sad, because she remembered that her own relationship was fake. In a few short weeks, she would have to 'break' Luke's heart. But that was in the future, and she could put it off as long as she could. She didn't want to have to break his heart, because she had a feeling it would only break her's.
Everything had been going great until her mother showed up.
This time, it hadn't been an IM. This time, her mother was waiting for her in the strawberry fields where she was supposed to meet with Luke.
"Mom?" Y/N asked, not sure if she was seeing correctly. Her mother's beautiful face brightened, and Y/N just blinked. She had never met her mother in person.
"My favorite child." Her mother said, making Y/N's eyes widen. She thought Silena was her favorite child. "I am so proud of you."
"What?" Y/N had been planning on talking to Luke about their breakup tonight, but her mother thew her off.
"You've broken the most talented swordsman's heart! The pain, oh, it almost breaks my own heart." Aphrodite put her hands over her own heart, and Y/N just furrowed her eyebrows.
"But, I haven't broken Luke's heart yet." Y/N says, thinking about how weird Luke had been acting when he asked to meet her there. She thought it was about them breaking up, but what if it was something else. Could he tell that she had fallen?
"No?" Her mother looked genuinely confused. "I sense such distress, such a hole of love in his heart." Y/N had never seen a god confused, and she didn't like this.
"Something's wrong." Y/N muttered, flinching when fireworks began to be set off.
"Yes," Her mother said gravely, grabbing her daughter's hand. "I will help you find him and set this right." She said it as if Y/N was supposed to break his heart over the pain he must've been feeling. Before she could protest, her mother was teleporting her. She ended up in front of Luke in the forest, her mother no where to be found. Luke looked angry, his sword was pointing right at her. It was actually pressing lightly into her chest, which made no sense. Luke would never do that.
"Y/N?" He asked, eyes widening. The anger melted away a little bit, but he still didn't look like the version of him she knew.
"What are you doing?" She asked, watching him lower his sword but not his guard. His eyes caught on something behind her, and she turned.
Percy was standing there, eyes wide and scared. He had his own sword in his hand, arms lifted in defense.
"Get out of the way, Y/N." Percy said, sounding older than his twelve years. It scared her, seeing this kid forced to mature.
"What are you doing?" She repeated, turning back to Luke. His expression had hardened slightly, but it still wasn't as angry as he had been when she first showed up.
"You don't want any part of this." Luke's voice was deep and dark, and Y/N felt her heart drop to her stomach.
"What have you done?" She rephrased, eyes wide as the fear sprinkled through her body in cold waves.
"What I had to." Luke said, as if that explained everything. "The gods are against us. They need us, but they don't care about us. I mean, have you ever even spoke with your mom is person?" He was trying to use her, and it hurt her feelings.
"I just did." She said quietly, turning fully to Luke. "And she told me you were heartbroken." She reveled at the shock that washed over his face.
"She must have been feeling someone else." Luke answered, and Y/N just shook her head.
"Luke, please." She walked toward him, grabbing his free hand. "We had something. We were pretending to date but you can't tell me you were acting the whole time." She felt tears in her eyes now. "Luke, I love you." She whispered finally. Filling the silence was the wind in the trees, the distant sound of fireworks. But not Luke's voice. He stayed quiet for a moment.
"It'll pass." He tells her quietly, tilting his head.
He might as well have stabbed her, the words hurt so bad. Using her shock, he threw his sword up, and not even letting go of her hand he caught it the opposite way, using the bottom to hit her head and send her to the ground.
"Goodbye," He muttered as he let her hand slip from his, stepping over her to face Percy.
Y/N could hear the breaking of her heart as she let her eyes close.
//
tags: @avada-kedavra-bitch-187 @one-sweet-gubler
#luke castellan#luke castellan x reader#luke castellan x reader fluff and angst#luke castellan fanfic#luke castellan imagine
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DRESS | JD14
wherein singer!y/n shocks her fans when she reveals her relationship with a person her fans obviously didn’t expect, f2 driver, jack doohan.
↳ TYPE: ig au
↳ PAIRING: jack doohan x singer!reader (face claim: aespa’s karina)
↳ DETAILS AND WARNINGS: fluff/romance
↳ AUTHOR���S NOTE: some drafts i’ve written/made, just needed to clean up the drafts. there’s more but i’ll edit them first before i post em! enjoy ❤️
this work is purely fictional. names, characters, places and incidents either are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. © newuniverse, 2023. do not steal, repost in other platforms, translate and/or claim this work as your own.
yourusername
liked by yourbffsig and 1,874,737 others
yourusername last moments with my black hair 🥹 any guesses which color i’m choosing? (it’s my first time dyeing my hair i’m nervous 😓)
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yourbffsig i think you’ll look good without hair :D
yourusername i’m blocking you!! 🫵
yourbffsig KIDDING!! love youu 😌
yourusername love u 🙄
user omg queen!! what if you go blonde 🥺
user i can’t see her going blonde though, it’s a bad idea 😩 purple would look good!
user the day y/n dyes her hair is the day i go insane.
user no because she literally has one of the healthiest hair i’ve ever seen and now she’s planning on dyeing it 😭 what if the hairdresser sabotages her hair and she ends up bald
user GIRL WHY ARE WE TALKING ABOUT THE POSSIBILITY OF HER GOING BALD IM CRYINGF
user maam what if you bleach your hair 😌
user STFU FONT GIVE HER IDEAS IM GONNA BAWL
57 weeks ago
jackdoohan
liked by danielricciardo, antoniogiovinazzi and others
jackdoohan happy to come away from the #spanishgp with a p2 and most importantly solid championship points, let’s keep it rolling into monaco next weekend! #f2
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user still can’t believe you cut off your hair 😭 i’m still mourning over it, jack.
user congrats mate! 👏🏻
user 🔥🔥
56 weeks ago
yn.updates
194,836 likes
yn.updates y/n seen today in barcelona with a bleached hair 🎀 sources said she came with her best friend to watch both f1 and f2 races!
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user sometimes i forget her best friend is literally a nepo baby, a fia nepo baby to be exact
user huh what
user yeah lol her dad’s one of the board of directors of fia! she was often seen in the paddock when she was young and i think she’s close with mick as there’re some pictures of them both in and out of the paddock!
user WHATTTTT
user WHERE TF IS THAT GIRL WHO SAID Y/N GOING BLONDE IS NOT A GOOD IDEA
user i apologize 😔
user ok but like whats the reason behind her bleaching her hair 🤨
56 weeks ago
yourusername
liked by yourbffsig, jackdoohan and 3,826,829 others
yourusername 22 coming your way 😉
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user WHAT.
user OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG Y/N ALBUM!!!!!!
user OOOOO SHE LOOKIN GOOD 👀
user WHAT THE FUCK IS JACK DOOHAN DOING IN HER LIKES !!!!
user it’s so random pls
user 😭 icb it’s a canon event lmfao
user i think it’s because they met(?) each other in barcelona! i think her bff introduced them to each other 😄
user why haven’t i heard that y/n went to the gp 😧 i was literally there
user she went there for a music video filming i think, she just went to the race during her break she said it during one of her ig lives hahaha
51 weeks ago
[ T I M E S K I P ; A YEAR LATER ]
yourusername
liked by yourbffsig, jackdoohan, mickschumacher and 1,839,938 others
yourusername it’s been a little over a year since 22 was released! as you all know, i’ve written my first full album last 2022 and it has a special place in my heart, as the title song tells the story about being young and carefree ❤️ thank you all so much for all the love you’ve given 22 ✨ as a thank you, i’ve released a new song titled DRESS, which is now available to all streaming platforms!
i’d like to express my deepest gratitude to my label, my manager, my friends, my family and last but not least, my muse–the reason behind this piece, jackdoohan 🤍 this is for you, my jacko!! happy anniversary to us, my racer <3
enjoy the surprise song, everyone! sending you all love, xo.
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user y/n??? jack??? what???
user WHY NOW WHEN I’M ALREADY COMFY IN BED!!!
user y/n, when was this???
user im so confused rn
user I AM IN CONFUSION, EXPLAIN, Y/N, EXPLAIN!!!!!
user can jack fight tho 🤨
user NOT ME LOSING Y/N TO JACK DOOHAN 💔💔
user this wasnt on my bingo card this year
yourbffsig congratulations lovie!! happy for you and jack 🥰 thank me yall hahaha happy anniversary and stay in love!! 🤍✨
— ❤️ by yourusername
mickschumacher loved the song, y/n!! happy for both of you 🤍
— ❤️ by yourusername
jackdoohan happy anniversary, angel 🤍 i love you and all the songs and poems you’ve written for me 😍
yourusername love you soooo much, jacko 💞
user SONGS?!?!?! THERE’S MORE?!?!?
yourusername will be released soon 🤫
user WHAT THE HECK!!!
jackdoohan
liked by yourusername, mickschumacher, danielricciardo and others
jackdoohan so amazed to see you on stage tonight, beautiful. you looked absolutely stunning and happy doing what you love. congratulations on your first concert, i love you ❤️
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yourusername crying!! you really surprised me when i saw you in the crowd 🥺 i almost didn’t finish the song and was thinking of running straight to you!!
yourusername the flowers are pretty btw!! 😍
jackdoohan just like you ;)
yourusername OH??
mickschumacher there are children on this app.
yourbffsig tell them to go away, let these two be in love!!
user oh idk which one i wanna be...do i wanna be jack or do i wanna be y/n
user he came right after his race yall, and on her concert’s first night. if he wants to, he would.
user damn it, when will i be in love... GOD I SEE WHAT YOU DO TO OTHERS ?! WHEN WILL IT BE MY TURN !!
user the hand placement yall :( hand fucking placement!!!!
user jack is SOOOO in love 🥺
user “you looked absolutely stunning and happy doing what you love” haha guess who will sleep on the highway tonight haha
user you 🤝 me
#jack doohan imagine#jack doohan x reader#f2 imagine#f2 x reader#f2 instagram au#formula 2 imagine#formula 2 x reader#formula 2 x you#jack doohan x yn
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lovely art you make please never stop!!!
WAAA TOO SWEET. thats it. MOREEEEEEE ART DUMP!!!!!!!! im not sure how many of these i posted but!! i think mostly it's all new!!!!!!!
I wonder if this'll become a thing for me. BAHAHAH
scrapped ref page i've made before ^^^^^ it was similar to nari's except it turns out the red's color jitter was too extreme.... the grren was AMAZING tho. Comments with the pieces btw!! and 30+ pics I think?! So expect a long ass post. :) this isn't even all the unposted art, just the stuff I thought was good enough to post!
First thing's first! How about a comic I never posted? I was kinda embarrassed by the writing of it, but this WAS just something to help Rue. (You might notice a lot of the art in this thread was sent to Rue and never posted. Sorry Rue. little of this is new for you. sone is tho. orzzzzz)
Woah? The lamb has feelings? The lamb has bad feelings about their past?? Who knew. Shocker. (also LMFAO AT NARI IN THIS HE REALLY SAID "oh ur crying? I'll give you a reason to cry")
something to kind of help storyboard out the animation i'm tryna work on. its not going well. turns out that shit is hard.
and some beyond the grove narinder. yall eat BTG nari UPPPPPP.
speaking of BTG? how about some panels of a future page? Chapter 1 still. feel free to laugh at how strangely i draw the draft. ti works for me!
back to normal nari. IN PANTS!!!!!!!!!!!
THIS isnt actually a drawing it's a real image taken of me and rue
i dont know if i posted this or not, actually. i am not a big fan of it, though.
i need to draw leshy and val more </3
idk if i posted kalladad either BAHAHAHAHA
also, i dont know if i posted THIS either. i dont SEE it but i could be wrong ?
now how about a couple of kissing booth scraps?
long with the scrapped comic where narinder kills and eats the face of the goat. </3 rip that thing (the goat LOVES fighting and LOVES someome who can beat thier ass almost as much)
and some heket bullying her brother (she wuvs him tho)
i dont know which acc i posted this to, actually. i drew this bc rick kept reposting halflife shit BAHAHAHH
oh and here's a vent piece or two i made with annona. they seem harmless enough to post i guess? i wish i made more content with them.
i jsut wanna chew them between my molars like a marshmallow.
this si also sometihng i made for rue BAHAHAHAHAH HAVE I POSTED IT? IDK.
and of course, the least toxic totally-not-abusive-as-fuck pairing of lamb and the red crown. this isnt exclusively BTG related but I dont know how much interest people would have with him being a character on FOTL? he is 1000% having his own role as his own charavter in BTG though.
oh, and this guy i wanted to post forever ago, but i needed time to adjust to his design. this is the best i have made of him and it might be what sticks. he's leshy's uncle. (took worm baby in after both his siblings went missing)
more nari, because he's my most popular scrumplie. probably bc i draw him the most and a lot of my stuff is nari centric. nude nari because i literally couldn't think up what i wanted to draw on him. i was gonna edit clothes on later and forgor BAHAHAHA
i actually dont know if i posted this too? this is tyar and baal <3 baal was pretty shocked to have learned vitas was tyar's spouse. he's still not ready to talk about it, but he does want to ask the lamb about it one day.
and some childhood memories i never finished.
i MIGHT have posted this one ?
i posted pieces of this page but here's the full:
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Cleaning out some boxed from a specific time and found the first ever Sneep Snorp pages!!! Fun facts:
- Sneep Snorp comic was inspired by that little comic I did of Buster getting arrested by Judy Hopps and Nick Wilde I did during a class that was hard to focus in
- I asked @tertain-the-original , resident bird expert, for good bird suggestions in order to fill the role for a minor character in a continuation of the Zootopia/Sing comic. He was almost a peacock! Final design took heavg inspiration from Tertain's sketches and help :^)
- spoilers: Judy and Nick also show up in the drafts of the main comic a lot, starting a couple more chapters in
Also spoilers: at this point I don't think I'll ever finish this story, for good reason. I keep meaning to make a little post abt it then forgetting/putting it off, BUT here's the plan:
When I'm in a good spot (NOBODY LET ME FORGET TO DO THIS BC IM BUSY AND FORGETFUL) I'll do 2 main posts:
- one explaining the behind the scenes for why the sneep snorp comic exists and what went into it, bc tbh i looooove when other artists do that kinda stuff
- 2nd one (might have to be multiple) with all the sneep snorp stuff i havent posted yet + all the draft plans for where the story was gonna go. Yall are cool enough that you deserve to know what was gonna happen next, even if i don't have the time to refine it ever :^)
((Who knows, Im super into comic making so theres a chance the story will come back. Potentially under different names bc Cant Just Steal Buster Moon, but Buster and Sneep live in my heart so they aren't gone yet))
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im gonna be real brave and vulnerable and say that im artblocked and burnt out and have been for a very long time, but i want to draw and it makes me happy..posting does too but i dont know why its so hard. it sucks when most of what you do is not something you want to show people. i am my biggest bully for no reason ... decided to make a little pile of random things i havent posted. i have like 10 more drafts and i gotta.gotta show them
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So memes aside, whats you actual opinión on the MD finale?
Ps: im gonna asume that the whole "J was working with Cyn" twist is not gonna apear on hostile takeover
i guess i already explained a bit of this in my post analyzing the themes of the series, but after rewatching the episode i think my opinion has soared a bit higher.
i've said it before and i'll say it again: i came expecting to have a good time, and i did. i don't tee myself up for disappointment by expecting more than that
i could say what we've seen self-evidently seen — the visuals were gorgeous, the music slapped, the imagery was otherworldly, the poses and gags were so much fun, the sheer creative vision on display was, in a word, peak.
but i'd guess this question is really about the writing
if i read this conclusion in a fic, i might not find it that fulfilling. i certainly wouldn't publish it myself without another drafting pass or two
but in a way, i find the lack of answers about the solver, cyn, or tessa to be a relief. it leaves so much room open for fanfic and closes off almost none of it. and i've spent far more time reading fanfic than watching the show, so the utilitarian calculus is clear
and when the thing practically ends on a highlight reel of fanfic prompts? yeah no, my looming uncertain fear going into this was how it'd impact the writing scene and i think the reasonable conclusion is that we have been fed
(it's always the flawed shows that spawn the most productive fandoms, anyway)
but it's clear that what all this is circling around is me outright saying i found the writing to not be up to par. but i dont want to say that, not least of all because i think the episode rocked, but because whatever sins i might tally on its back — for all that we could do with more setup, more context, more closure...
...i dont think i can blame any of that on the episode itself, anymore than i might fault a glass of water in the desert for not being a gallon jug. maybe it'd be nice if murder drones had more conventional writing merits, but the thing you're imagining isn't "what if he wrote it better 5head", it's "what if we lived in a world where murder drones isn't an indie animation with a limited budget"
...ok no, the thing i'm imagining is what if J and Uzi said anything to each other. ANYTHING
as for hostile takeover... :3
ok silliness aside, i've had detailed plans for a long time. my outlines are flexible but i've known how it ends for months — so trust me, it hasn't resembled canon in quite a while. we're far from the beaten track
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TL;DR: i’m going to drop all of the billford reblogs ive been too scared to make over the years, block #triangle divorce if you don’t want to see it, peace and love.
You know, from early days of fandom harassment over billford, i’ve gotten into the habit of, rather then reblogging billford posts to call attention to myself, liking them and then saving them to my drafts so i can enjoy my collection without anyone judging me. This has been going on for a LONG time, and by now i have a MASSIVE hoard of billford art and memes and posts that i’ve just… been holding on to? And i’m starting to feel like i should maybe try catering my blog a little more to myself then to people willing to block me over toxic old man yaoi.
It’s been WILD seeing billford trend number one for MULTIPLE WEEKS IN A ROW, especially when nobody is even acknowledging the whole ‘portrayal is romanticization’ thing that was the common view of top gravity falls artists for…. Years? Even with the revival, i’m STILL just adding things to my hoard rather then reblogging them. It’s hard not to get over the fear of judgement.
But i’ve realized that this is my blog, and i get to choose the post, and maybe being disliked by a couple of strangers on the internet won’t kill me. So, as a birthday gift, i have decided that I will open the billford vault. I am cueing up every post to release at the exact same second. I will not tell you when it will be. Could be tonight, could be next month. I’ll only make sure its when you least expect it.
You can, however, be safe from the Hoard by blocking the #triangle divorce tag, if you don’t like the ship for any reason (all valid!!!) or if you just don’t want to see it for whatever reason its fine!
Im gonna be rbing billford normally after this but ill always use that tag. Also if you are a minor and you follow me and you haven’t already PLEASE block the #18+ tag. And i’ll try to put #cw abuse on anything that portrays the more psychological horror art in case its triggering. Either way i’m totally cool with whatever you do or don’t engage with, i’m doing this for me and to face my own anxieties and i totally get that what i like is not for anyone!
Obligatory no i don’t ship it because i think they could be ‘wholesome’, yes i know its abusive, yes i think its one of the realist portrayals of an abusive relationship in media and that is the appeal. I don’t ‘ship’ things because i think characters should be together, romance doesnt even really appeal to me, mainly for arospec reasons. i like ships for Angst, Horror, and Crack, and billford has all of the above. It’s one of the only ships i care about in any fandom. I don’t think it should be treated any differently then normal horror. And i also love ford’s recovery from bill arc and learning to move on more than anything.
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as promised, an exploration of my one pet problem in fandom, or: misinterpretation of jby's first death (ft. zzs)
heres the thing. i occasionally see people reference what seems to be a misconception of the (english translation) text in qi ye. both the fact that its a translation and the metaphorical phrasing make it pretty clear to see why they got the wrong idea, but i firmly believe its still the wrong idea. i am by no means calling the people who got this mixed up dumb or bad, i am simply leaning over their shoulders going 'wait no bestie pls read that again pls read that one more time!!' because this is one of my favorite books and this thing is a key piece of one of my favorite things about it.
i said i was gonna pull screenshots for this post but i think it will be a little while before i get to another reread and i can't ctrl+f the google doc so im just gonna whip this out from memory. if anyone does have this particular passage on hand feel free to pop it in here. the rest of the context/explanations are just from my cursory research, im not chinese or a historian.
cards on the table. the only thing i love more than unhinged gay romances is unhinged platonic soul mates. its catnip to me. i go feral every goddamn time. and i havent stopped losing my mind about zhou zishu and jing beiyuan since that first qi ye scene. what do those guys have going on? not even sure they know but it's A Lot. ive got like 18 other unpublished drafts trying to work that out slash losing my fucking mind at the lengths they go to about each other. that relationship is at the center of both novels even if the spotlight isnt on it. so I admit that my readings are colored a bit by how much i like that they like each other!
which is why im shocked baffled and, ok, lightly salted, to see a few people make the claim that zishu (personally) tortured/killed beiyuan in his first life.
so what the text says is that after helian yi stopped trusting beiyuan (after su qingluan's accidental death), he was basically put to death. but even the emperor has to have a half decent reason to execute someone. the text describes these reasons- ten of them- as zhou zishu's masterpieces. it also refers to them as great shames to beiyuan's standing. what's happening is that helian yi has zishu frame beiyuan for treason or other betrayals against the emperor/the country. it isn't specific as to what, but it doesn't really matter, because its all fake and zishu is really good at his job. so yes, it is fair to say that zishu is the INSTRUMENT of beiyuan's death, but he didn't kill him, he just laid the groundwork.
the text goes on to another slightly confusing line where it says something to the effect of that when each of these accusations were read out in court, each line drew blood from jing beiyuan. that's a metaphor! it's just saying that his reputation was torn apart and ultimately his fate is sealed, despite the phrasing there are no literal injuries happening.
also, i may not have the timeline perfect on this part, but in zishu's introduction in the beginning of the novel, the narration tells us outright that while zishu is partially responsible for beiyuan's death, he was like. cool about it. in what seems to be the first and only time he ever steps out of line or goes against helian yi's command (!), after setting all this up but- if im remembering right- before the news actually breaks in court the next day, zishu warns beiyuan. now this admittedly doesnt do a whole lot because the only other possible option (cut and run) isn't a very good one, but it's the only thing zishu can do. he doesnt have to, but he does it anyway (!). of course beiyuan doesnt even consider doing this, he's stubborn and heartbroken, but he really seems to 1. appreciate the risk zishu took here to try to give him a chance and 2. not hold the whole set up against zishu or take that bit personally.
so what actually happened at the end of beiyuan's first life? he was sent the 3 zhang of white silk. the text does explicitly say this once, but if you're not familiar with the practice it may not click. receiving the white silk from the emperor is what happens when you're too high ranking to execute like a commoner but you've fallen from grace and are being politely asked to hang yourself in order to clear your name. and of course beiyuan, stubborn and heartbroken, does. yes, it's a forced suicide, but it isn't a murder.
anyway, its in that secret conversation, where zishu secretly meets with beiyuan seemingly to try to convince him to save himself and beiyuan outright refuses, that beiyuan promises that if theres a next life (ha), they'll get drunk together. and of course against all odds, there is and they do.
the thing about the idea that some people might think that zishu killed beiyuan is that after that nothing between them makes sense. even if it was at helian yi's request, i just cant see that not permanently damaging the friendship, i don't think beiyuan could immediately pick back up being best friends in the seventh life with that memory in the way. why would zishu go out of his way to warn beiyuan one day if he was perfectly capable and fine with killing him the next? why would beiyuan not only be happy to meet zishu again in the seventh life but also go out of his way trying to save zishu's? none of their other interactions really make sense if you believe there was a murder done there. idk. it clouds the whole throughline of the story which is that they have a bond!
i think maybe people think it is in character due to the other ruthless murders, and they're not wholly wrong, but that's the kicker for me. zishu will murder all kinds of innocents no questions asked, but he's suddenly trying to give an out to his coworker and drinking buddy? hello? thats insane, and that's the point.
furthermore, if you think maybe it would make sense for helian yi to have beiyuan violently killed (since it keeps fucking happening later), i actually have to become helian yi's lawyer for a moment here and say that that doesnt make sense either. helian yi is sitting on a throne gained by shadowy means but he's the Good Guy Ruler and that reputation is important. hes not a cruel person and he may have become paranoid but he still has a shared history with beiyuan. plus, even the emperor has to abide by a certain amount of decorum when he wants to have people killed, especially when that person is also a high ranking member of court. beiyuan's status is basically second only to the royal bloodline, he's essentially the prev emperor's godson, as well as a previously close confidante of helian yi himself. the white silk was regarded as a privileged, dignified means of offing someone. helian yi is perfectly within social acceptability to do this to beiyuan with the pretext of beiyuan's disgrace. but it would be pushing the boundaries for the good and just emperor to suddenly have one of his top advisors and members of high nobility brutally killed like a common criminal. he could probably do it, but it would reflect on him and his reputation too. he could do it in secret, but would have to cover up the disappearance of a prominent court figure. it just makes sense to use the white silk as the neatest, most acceptable legal justice channel here. maintain emotional detachment, be polite, everybody's honor gets honored and such.
so that's the ted talk. theres even some beautiful fanart on here of white-haired first life beiyuan holding the white silk! he wasn't tortured or outright executed, and he chose to obey rather than escape or fight the false claims of treason even though his friend tried to give him the only out he could manage. to interpret things differently really skews the character motivations and plot for everyone- beiyuan, zishu, helian yi- in a way that warps the story out of believability, imho.
#gently and lovingly nailing my opinions to the fandom's front door <3#minor qi ye spoilers obv#i think i spent upwards of 3 hours on this draft so believe me this is 10 percent salt and 90 percent love#i wouldnt call this a common misconception either but every time i do see it i have to go walk around the room#i love to think about first life and i love to think about murderbros so. inbox open#qi ye#and thank u to my enablers u know who you are!!#qy meta
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