#im genuinely confused about the ending

[l0316k]

so.........

guess who just watched bbc sherlock for the first time......

[gemharvest]

Might not be exactly what you asked for but PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE go into more depth about the bf and pico drawing with the kinto pet song lyrics 🙏🙏🙏🙏 it has haunted me in a good way and I will explode without more

UR MORE THAN FINE DWWW it's easier for me to ask for prompts but I LOVE ASKS IN GENERAL I like getting to ramble. Forever and always if you see me post something and you want me to elaborate on it/ have specific questions/ literally whatever PLEASE DON'T BE SCARED TO SEND AN ASK IN !!!

okay needed that out of the way first LOLLLLL

The like. Images I get in my head when I listen to this song drive me insane like this was just me putting it into one image but I could deadass do a full PMV if I had the time.

Obvi I prefer to draw in a more Funkin'-influenced style, but esp. with how Pico is drawn I hope it's clear I was leaning into the Pico's School side of things.

(continuing under a cut because I am about to Ramble)

I don't think I was consciously thinking abt it the other night BUT at least the first verse makes me think. Of the Love Conquers All version of Pico's School. An ideal ending; Cassandra is convinced not to carry out her plan, nobody dies, Pico certainly wouldn't be Going Through It. Maybe in this ideal ending they (Pico & BF) wouldn't have split. "In this world, we're friends forever".

I also imagine it as like.. basically how the art I did ended up being. They're just black lines on a white background. Faces obscured. Maybe with some visual effects that distort things too/ some pixelation whatever. I actually think I was planning to have some parts of that pixelated but forgot by the time I was home and could draw; might have been for the best but here's a version with a biit of what I'm talking abt.

They're in a void. Separate from the real world, but happy. Stuck in a loop of the happiest time of their lives (mostly thinking from Pico's perspective with that lol). Is that not better than having to continue on in a fucked reality?

Of course, that's not real. It's just an imaginary loop of "what if"s in Pico's mind. It's a world he built for Boyf.

In this world, Boyfriend is always following with Pico, always showing him kindness and always smiling. Pico's emotions are less readable; maybe in a proper PMV I'd give him his mouth too so he can show he is at least somewhat happy, but despite being the "leader" of the two, he is much more passive, reserved. They are always holding each other's hands.

Verse 2 would be the inverse (lol), signaled by the stronger beats kicking in. White lines on black background. It's no longer the ideal world, and instead the "real world". Real, but distorted by trauma. "Inside my code, you'll always be". The world Cass built for Pico.

The bit of instrumental between verses 2 & 3 would be the Real real world, going forward to when FNF would take place; Pico and Boyfriend reconnected, through less than ideal means, though reconnected nontheless.

We're back to black lines on white background, but everything's less distorted. There's more details too, the world not just being a hazy backdrop for Pico and Boyfriend to play around in, but real.

He's different from Pico's memories, obviously, drawn now in the FNF style fully. More confident, still stupid. He has Girlfriend now.

The first 2 lines of verse 3, his imagined worlds and the real world melt together. Mixed in ways that highlight a feeling of off-ness. Everything feels strange, distorted, unreal.

The last 2 lines it's just Pico and Boyfriend hanging out alone. "All that's left is me and you/Lots of fun that we can do". Boyfriend cheery as ever, while Pico is visibly nervous-- uncharacteristic for him but we don't see if Boyfriend notices.

The strong beat kicking in again sends us back to the imagined world. The good world. But things are wrong. The real world is slipping in, things are no longer stagnant; no longer perfect. Visual distortions/ glitches worsen.

Pico could delude himself when he hadn't known where Boyfriend was; now that he's back, his world warps. No longer under his control. He is not in the lead.

The first half of the outro Boyfriend is still mostly playing along, though still seems to be growing disinterested. Pico is noticably anxious, clearly seeing how the other is no longer like a puppy at his side. Boyfriend is pulling away. Why is he pulling away, when everything's "perfect"? Why is everything going wrong. "The world I built, designed for you".

The second half of the outro, Boyfriend is now actively pulling away. He no longer looks like the idealized, young Boyfriend. He's older, a stranger, he doesn't care for Pico anymore. Pico is older now too, desperately holding on to Boyfriend. Unwilling to let him go again, first in the real world and now in his mind. Boyfriend refuses to hold his hand but Pico still grips onto his arm. Their eyes finally become visible in the imagined world.

Pico's behavior mirrors Cassandra's involvement in the second verse, though unintentionally violent as opposed to her intentional violence. He's selfish, desperate to hold on to his world; to Boyfriend. He's hurting the imagined Boyfriend in the process, but that is second in his mind to him so desperately trying to avoid a second heartbreak. Anything to keep his world together, his peace. Without it, he just has the dark.

Beyond this screen, you cannot leave Inside my code, you'll always be Endless fun that we can do In a world I built for you

In the final instrumental and as the song fades out, Pico wakes up. He's shaken, disgusted by how he acted in his mind and feeling like he's nothing but an anchor to Boyfriend, holding him back. He can't keep clinging to this false reality, nor can he pretend he's doing any good by being in Boyfriend's life again. His mind is made up.

...

LOL I hope the way I summarized The Thoughts I get paints the picture I get in my mind. I've got terminal artist brain I am imagining AMVs to near everything I listen to I am not joking; had to take a break halfway through typing this to walk around a store and I was looping KATAMARI by femtanyl for like half of it imagining an edit in my head. I can imagine anything jpeg.

I wanna very much stress that all that above would have been filtered through Pico's mind. He's not actively hurting Boyfriend, but he's fucking terrified of doing so and he feels so fucking guilty for continuing to hold on to the past they had. I guess it wouldn't be apparent from what I described but he'd also feel guilty for still having feelings for him when the other has moved on and even has a girlfriend.

His world, once his perfect escape from the anguish of his reality, corrupts as he feels worse and worse over even entertaining the thoughts. Him deciding to forget his world and, in turn, go to cut off Boyfriend for the other's sake is not based on objective reality, but an act of self-sabotage that he convinces himself to be the best outcome for everybody.

^ Literally included him doing this shit in a part of that last fic I did you can tell this is something I find interesting exploring with him.

The tone of the song too just fucking.. it adds to the eeriness I'd want out of a proper PMV of this idea. The way it's clearly an homage to the IBM 7094 singing Daisy Bell; the voice and instrumentals just feel so unnerving. Sweet and innocent on the surface, but clearly holding bad intentions. Maybe not intentionally bad, maybe misguided good even, but they are not good nor sweet nor kind. I am talking about the song on it's own divorced from it being from KinitoPET what I describe here is just the feelings it gives me in regards to my favies.

Anyways uhhhh god I could go on for hours but I've been going off for long enough I'm sorry to anyone reading this who had to sit through my insanity. My head is now lighter with this information shared tho.. I guess in conclusion: I am definitely normal and neurotypical and can be trusted to listen to music and be into my games without creating the most devastating ideas known to man. xoxo

[ghostlyheart]

hello only other person on this website who likes the apoc players. what’s your top three fave scenarios of theirs?? 🎤 the world needs to know

@downton-not-downtown-smh hello I just wanted to say that this has been sitting in my inbox for months (😬) but I've been thinking about it The Whole Time. And I'm sorry I took so long to answer!! I've been battling my own personal lovecraftian horrors this summer and have finally emerged with a shred of sanity

1. A Residence at the Bay- I loooooove this scenario so much. This was my introduction to Jamesian horror and I fully intend to go down the M.R. James rabbit hole when I have some time. I actually listened to it before A Christmas Inheritance, which left me slightly confused by the end but didn't pose a huge problem (and made going back and listening to the first scenario all the more tragic). I'm very into the atmosphere of subtle but creeping dread that culminates in the realization that things are deeply wrong but you still have no fucking clue what actually happened. I think one of the players (Danaan?) said in an Instant San Loss episode that horror is at it's best when no explanation is offered, and that definitely rings true here. This probably also has my favorite batch of characters. The way McCuthcheon, Carraig-Muir, and Lady Bjalmier play off each other is so entertaining. The balance of truly disturbing moments, heartwrenching emotion, and insane humor is perfect (and really encapsulates why I'm so drawn to this podcast in the first place). Danaan is such a wonderful keeper, and I can't wait for An Uncommon Burial!!

2. Crimson Letters- This one is so zany and over the top, and has some of the moments that have made me laugh the hardest. It sports such an iconic cast of characters who would be standouts on their own but combine forces to become an infinitely entertaining force for chaos. The guest players gel super well with the main cast and the way it keeps dragging on and on very much has up late at a sleepover energy. I'm such a sucker for classic era cthulhu and this scenario is just very very solid. I have the keeper's handbook now so I'm excited to get to actually read through it! Really hoping I can run it for my game group one day. Abner Wick is a legendary NPC and Dom in general is very good at embodying a huge cast while still making them all feel fleshed out.

3. MTSK-37- Genuinely creeps me the fuck out!!! I listened to this before reading The Colour Out of Space so I was completely lost and had no idea what the threat was supposed to be. I'm actually very happy that's the way it worked out because I think the ultimate way to experience lovecraftian horror is to be thrown into the middle of it and just let it wash over you. The intra-party conflict is so delicious and the players did such a wonderful job at adapting these pre-made characters and making them their own.

Honorable mentions go to The Crack'd and Crook'd Manse (the one that started it all 🥺), The Moonchild (still trying to figure out exactly what happened aksjsks), and Unland (completely heartbreaking)

[thedrotter]

Re:Kinder Fun fact time!! Did you know? 😊

Yuuichi's theme song (the one that often accompanies his entrances with "Vamos Cantar!"), 新しい夏のナナ, is not in any latin language such as Spanish or Portuguese, despite its lyrics sounding as such. It's actually in Hanamogera, which to put it simply is nonsense speech based on japanese syllables. So the song's lyrics are essentially gibberish meant to imitate the sound of latin music! 😊

It is listed as such in the source site for the song, oo39.com, where the song can be found as "YS068" in the hanamogera category.

Additional fun fact! The song can also be found in Spotify as Vien Nana by Oo39.com themselves alongside a few other select songs from the site. So you can properly enjoy the song on the platform without having to import it from your local files.

Those are the fun Re:Kinder related fun facts for today... Use them to entertain your friends at parties ! ☺️

[permanentreverie]

.

[the-mechanisms-system]

me when i am experiencing my npd as Cant Trust Myself Disorder again

I already was pretty sure I had OCD. I've suspected for years. however I have very few/minor compulsions. anyway, it hasn't been that bad for a while.

friend is having a major OCD flare. very intrusive/disruptive compulsions. they talked to me about it because we're best friends!! we share our problems and help each other!

NPD responded by being like uh oh! they're more special than you now. they're sicker and more Troubled.

now I'm ruminating on my own OCD symptoms. do I actually have OCD? am I imagining it to be special (because of NPD)? did it go away? was it ever there to begin with?

oh I should purposefully give myself more intrusive thoughts and intentionally pick up compulsions to prove that I actually have OCD and be special again.

oh I wanna have more OCD symptoms on purpose??? well there's the proof that I'm faking.

but also I do experience intrusive thoughts and some compulsions.

but they haven't been that bad lately. (probably because they're often triggered by stress or certain situations and I've left the house like max twice a week often less for the past two months, but what if actually it's because they weren't significantly there in the first place)

I need them to come back I need to get worse so I will have the most disorders and be the sickest and I need to have more compulsions/different ones for it to be Real OCD

but also I probably just want that for attention

[im-not-a-l0ser]

I hate that I have ship sensitivities. Makes me feel bad and guilty. I have like over 80 blocked tags because my stupid brain doesn't like seeing ships.

I am very thankful for everyone who tags thoroughly, properly, and especially to those who tag in a way some might consider "overkill." Seriously, I appreciate it so much.

I wonder how much my parents divorce affected this. Because I was kind of a dweeb about this shit before. So yknow, I'm curious.

[afterthefeast]

was gonna wait til i finished act 2 before posting my nightsong thoughts but actually i want to get my first impressions out to see if they change but…currently i’m pretty disappointed by it because from an rp perspective i literally don’t see a single reason why the pc would let shadowheart kill the nightsong if they weren’t already allied with the absolute.

from a practical perspective your whole aim is to get rid of ketheric’s invulnerability - i guess killing the nightsong might achieve that purpose but to me at least the implication throughout the gauntlet is that if you kill the nightsong as part of the dark justiciar trial she doesn’t actually die. (never mind the fact that aylin seems far too important to both ketheric and shar for her to be sacrificed if an ordinary selûnite would do). obligatory disclaimer that i didn’t let shadowheart kill her so i don’t know what happens in that instance, but that doesn’t really matter in this case because i’m talking about how the choice is presented to you, and to me at least it did not seem like killing aylin would be in any way strategic.

in which case it’s not really a choice because a) practically you are strongly encouraged to let aylin go and b) morally your tav has to justify the murder of a defenceless woman for…what, shadowheart’s career goals? even if you’re romancing shadowheart (which i am) convincing her requires a straightforward persuasion check, the mechanics of which thus far have meant you convince her that your position is correct - there’s not much in the way of lasting relationship consequences in that she won’t get so mad at you she leaves the party because you’ve already convinced her you’re right.

all that is to say that i think this is reflective of bg3’s overall binary attitude towards its major choices - there’s a good route (save the grove, defend isobel, free aylin), and a bad route (destroy the grove, ally with marcus, kill aylin). a lot of those choices compound, as well - other people have talked from actual experience about how allying with minthara will lose you a huge amount of content and allies, thus railroading you into picking a side from both a narrative and gameplay perspective. you’ve a huge amount of freedom in how you go about achieving any of those things - stealth, persuasion, combat etc., but the objectives themselves are pretty static.

so when you then have a companion’s personal quest tied to intrinsically to the plot it negates a huge amount of player choice. thematically, the companion quests are binary because they can either break or perpetuate cycles of abuse - that’s an instance in which binary choices can be very compelling. but the thematic concerns of shadowheart’s very intricate and heartfelt personal quest are totally undercut by the necessities of a pretty straightforward choice. i can’t play a hands-off tav and let this be shadowheart’s decision without to all appearances letting ketheric win. this isn’t a truly grey choice like the decision to sacrifice isolde or go to the circle in dragon age origins. it feels like that’s what bg3 was trying to do here by combining shadowheart’s quest and the main narrative, but because that main narrative is actually relatively inflexible, it just means shadowheart’s quest suffers by comparison.

[rainbowresurrection]

I ended up reading The Price of the Phoenix and while it didn't make me want to bleach my eyes like Killing Time, I still didn't like it as much as I hoped I would. Don't get me wrong, the homoeroticism was intriguing to me, but the actual writing and storyline itself left me with a headache. I think I get my hopes up with these books, given all of the possibilities that the written word has for Trek, and it inevitably sets me up for disappointment lol

[averlym]

Wait so I’m kind of confused, are you still doing asks? Or just commissions since you’ve officially closed ur requests. Are you just gonna occasionally do asks with requests no longer being sent?

hi hi!! okay so:

1. commissions are open right now

2. requests are 'closed' - i can't stop you from sending them, but it's pretty unlikely that i'll draw them any time soon

3. i have quite a lot of old requests filling my ask box, so i'll do those asks occasionally

hope that clarifies a bit!

[tmos-time]

I'm confused, are you saying Equius needs to fuck off and die? Or just his fans?

??? whuh? huh??

anon, either you sent this ask to me instead of the proper person this was intended for, or you are having a very STRONG (hehe) reaction to me a while back mentioning in the tags that canon equius has his character flaws that would leave him just as unappealing as canon eridans character flaws when it comes to shipping

if this WAS for me, i hope you got a chance to step back and indulge in stuff that makes you happy before i answered this, i suppose?? i didnt have very thick skin to character criticism when i was a little younger, so i can at least understand the knee-jerk reaction if this was in fact intended for me lol

[outer-edges]

reading depression era docs when i can feel myself slipping back into the depression era is so jarring because it like gives me this terrible awareness of what’s happening but there’s nothing i’m doing to stop it im just watching it happening like it’s a slow motion car crash

[wewontbesleeping]

this assignment I’m working on is soo hard bc the topic is like. highlight a surprising impact that a business (the one that you chose for a completely different topic for a different paper) has had on your community. like. am I supposed to LIE? because there isn’t a surprising impact that this restaurant has had on my community?????? what am I supposed to write about ??? it’s a restaurant???????

[im-still-a-robot]

House of leaves really did alter my brain's code. I didn't really believe yall for a while.

[iocheaira]

me and my boss united against the 15 different members of 5 different non profit boards all involved in running our building which comes down to micromanaging how i organize my desk drawers

[playingonedchess]

why iis everyone so bloody obsessed with 24 hour time its an actual fucking headache