#im doing this for the first time after looking at so many peeps doing it

[acourtofquestions]

Dont be angry, Finnula said. Be smart.

[zaephix]

I LOVE THE CAMERA SO, SO MUCH—AND THE CAMERA LOVES ME ! / / xavier , zayne, rafayel & sylus . . .

ever since you went viral on the internet, your relationship has become the evvy and dream of users globally. just what about you guys was so groundbreaking?

warnings: f!reader, established relationship, modern!au without the monster protocore stuff, ooc!sylus??? this is my first time writing him im scared, internet fame, fluff, suggestive on zayne's part, relationship tingz mostly inspired by douyin couple tiktoks (im so lonely brah.)

w/c: 2.15k (500-600 each)

author's note: if u guys can figure out what photo reference i ws talking ab in zayne's ily (hint hint that one nanami fanart) also did u guys peep the rv reference in the title??? art cred: angye on twt

XAVIER didn't think that he'd go viral for something as silly as interupting your tiktok by carrying you away, then again he didn't even know you posted it.

it didnt just go viral because the two of you were in the cutest matching hoodies, but because he swept you off your feet so smoothly and almost effortlessly.

soon after that, comments flooded your page gushing about how they'd wish they had a boyfriend as clingy and affectionate as him, and you two had started a new trend.

after that video, many followed you because they fell in love with you and your relationship, almost begging for more crumbs of you two. your page was then full of the two of you more so than before, photos of you two in onesies cuddling, stargazing, and even little day-to-day vlogs.

your fans just kept eating them up, and he had to deal with the impending consequences of it.

"XAVIER, come pose with me!"

the grey-blond haired man sighed, dragging his feet towards you. "don't you think we're done? we've taken so many already..."

you raise a brow, "we didnt take any this whole week? cmoon, the camera's rolling, let's do that dance i taught you!"

"but it's late, and i wanna go to sleep... we can take some tomorrow morning or something..."

you give him the sternest look you could muster, and he generates the biggest puppy eyes he'd ever done, looking down at you with a small pout as his hands hung loosely around your waist.

"a kiss then?"

you roll your eyes affectionately, "you can have your kiss after this i promise! pleaaaseee xavier?"

it seemed that he wasn't gonna take no as an answer, as he kept leaning in towards you, determined as ever.

your face was burning as you chuckle nervously, leaning away from him. he slowly inched closer, until you were at a point where you could go no further without any help.

realizing you had no other choice, you sighed with a pout of your own, and XAVIER took this as a chance to pull you closer and press a kiss to your lips, making you giggle. you pressed your fingers lightly to his lips as he swayed you side to side, and you couldn't help but laugh and follow suit.

"XAVIER!"

you posted the video not long after that, a cute song in the background to cover the sounds of your voices. within just 2 hours, it went viral, taking its spot as your number one video.

"ughhhhhh is this too much to ask for?"

"if you look closely you'll see me laying on the street."

"u guys r my fav couple ever pls don't ever break up!!!"

it was safe to say you never got your dance.

ZAYNE took quiet pride in being your boyfriend—and he took it very seriously as well. he'd fuss over you even more than before, making sure you were okay at all times

you'd joke about how he was acting more as your husband than your boyfriend. he'd brush your comments aside, saying you think too much (funnily enough his ears were quite red)

your relationship went viral due to the sillyness you brought into it, the little antics you'd pull around him as you two would go through your day-to-day life being the highlight of the week for your viewers

but what really made you two so popular was in the gentleness he'd treat you with. his words may seem curt and blunt, but his actions said anything but that. in your mini vlogs, ZAYNE would display tiny gestures of affection, ranging from delicately fixing your jewelry and carrying your purse to zipping up your dress and putting your heels on for you.

"hey god... it's me again..."

"i want a rich doctor bf too!"

"my parentsssss <3"

your viewers would nitpick at every little thing, hundreds of fan edits taking over the app by storm, and you'd repost every single one of them

"ZAYNE! i'm home! sorry, usually i'd be the one to be early but the association had-"

you stopped, frowning as you realized the lights were off, the only source of light coming from your kitchen. making your way there, you were met with the back of your boyfriend, seemingly working very hard on something.

"zayne?"

he turned around, greeting you with a soft look of surprise. "oh. you're here." he stepped towards you, and now you could see that he was wearing an apron over a dress shirt and pants.

"go to your room. i left a change of clothes for you on your bed."

you looked at him confusedly before realization and guilt struck you. "...oh! oh my gosh, i'm so sorry! i forgot it was our anniversary! i'll-"

you shut up as he looks at you with an amused lift of his brow, taking this as your cue to go get changed.

turns out, ZAYNE had taken a day off without you realizing it. he spent the day getting your apartment ready for your anniversary. and he had everything set alright.

"i can't believe you did all of this yourself... i mean- wow..."

you two enjoyed a nice candlelit dinner with your favorite foods and drinks, and you kept having to resist the urge to just tug him closer with his tie and plant kisses all over his face.

wait, unless...

"ZAYNE, could you come here?"

ZAYNE thought the two of you were done, wanting to spend the rest of the night with you in his arms-it turns out you had a different idea

"you still haven't gotten your reward."

you uploaded a new post to your instagram page, captioned "my sweet doctor <3" with pictures of your dinner that night

and on the very last slide, was a picture of him turned to the side with lipstick covered kiss marks over his face and shirt, ears a pretty shade of red, and your hand pulling him in by his tie

your fans could only ever imagine what happened after that

it was just after your date with RAFAYEL at the aquarium did the topic of who his lover was striked appeal to the media. apparently, some fans recognized him and sneakily took photos.

at first, he was annoyed by it, but after seeing compilations of videos where he'd see you two, he supposed it wouldn't hurt to indulge the public.

soon after that, his pages both on instagram and tiktok had tiny easter eggs of you, whether it be your clothes, a second of you in the background of his videos or even in his paintings.

the comments would be full of "did u guys see the ___ in the background?" or "to have a painter as a bf... im jealous..."

to fuel the fire, you'd feed your already large fanbase your own easter eggs of him. one of his paintings in the background, a shirt of his on your couch, a split second of your wallpaper shown, etc.

you were just having fun, you didn't expect anything to really come out of the antics you both were pulling in front of the public.

however, you both thought wrong, as it didn't take long for the people to put two and two together.

"RAFAYEL... my legs hurt... when are the fireworks gonna start?"

"shhh just be patient, we can stop here if you want?"

you two were at one of the largest beach festivals at linkon, and after a whole day of running around and trying everything, your legs had gotten sore.

you and RAFAYEL sit down on the cool sand, the water from the waves inching closer and closer. you could hear the commotion coming from the festival, but all you could focus on right now were the waves in front of you.

"ugh... you're right. all that running around has made me exhausted. don't be surprised if you have to carry me home."

you flick him on his forehead as he weakly puts his hands up in surrender and lays down on the sand. you lay beside him, your arm propping your head up.

"i had fun today though. it's felt like ages since we went somewhere in public together."

he hums, pulling your hand towards him to rest on his face. "yeah... its too much... maybe we should just settle down back at-"

"oh my god, is that RAFAYEL? and... is that his girlfriend!?"

you quickly turn around and were met with a group of fangirls. you turn back around to rafayel to see him already sat up, motioning for you to follow him.

"i know you said you were tired but..."

you read his mind instantly, getting up and grabbing his hand. you both start to run away from the clicks and flashes of the paparazzi, giggling and laughing while doing so.

the fireworks had finally started behind you.

after that whole fiasco, you and RAFAYEL retired to his bedroom back at his studio, breathless and exhausted.

as you two soundly slept, the internet was currently in shambles after finding out your secret relationship, leaked photos of you two running together and getting into your car having made it on every platform.

and as his phone rang with notifications, he had an inkling of what happened.

"whatever..." he thinks tiredly as he pulls the covers over you and him.

"...i can deal with that tomorrow."

SYLUS was never shy in showing you off as his girlfriend, but never once discouraged nor encouraged your moves to post the two of you together

yet the moment you posted the huge bouquet of roses he'd sent to your apartment via luke and kieran and it blew up, it was almost like he was urging you to show him off

you didn't even mean for it to go that big, you just thought they were pretty

and yet, he'd sneak in small comments during your conversations like "the view here is pretty, wanna comemorate it?" or "look, our outfits are matching, i could get kieran to take a picture of us together if you'd like?"

you'd taken the hint pretty quickly, rolling your eyes as you brushed it off each time, until you had a change of heart one day

you posted a video of you touring the city on his motorcylce, one hand wrapped around his torso and the other holding your phone, showing off the view and the well, broad, shoulders and back of your boyfriend

and as you can probably tell, it went viral, with many users commenting how they'd wish they had their own biker boyfriend who'd take them across cities

he scrolls through the comments in his freetime, lips turned upwards and already planning your next hit

"SYLUS...? what's the meaning of... this?"

just a minute ago, SYLUS walked up to you and asked if you'd like to go shopping, that it was on him. you agreed hesitantly as you got up, suspicious of his intentions already.

and without giving you time to think, he picked you up with one arm and has not put you down since.

"well, i thought it'd be nice to treat you, it's been a while afterall."

"...we went to a michellin star restaurant like two days ago?"

"hm."

sighing, you reel your head back and notice a glint in the dark hallways of his manor, along with hushed voices and camera clicks.

was that... luke and kieran?

"wait, wait, wait, wait— i think i saw luke and kieran—"

he swiftly glaces behind you two with furrowed brows, and then gave you a small smirk. sometimes you can't tell if he's teasing you or not.

"pay them no mind, they're probably up to something again. best not to find out now."

he looks at you curiously, "or is this your way of saying you want out? i was gonna pay a visit to the claw machine with you... i heard they had a new limited edition plushie..."

your eyes snap back to his, "no, no! this is fine... i'm sure i was just imagining things."

he gives you a triumphant smile and keeps walking, yet your mind can't help but wander back to what those twins were doing...

and it turns out your suspicions were right all along, for after you came back home from a successful night of shopping, your phone was abuzz with notifications coming from your friends

luke and kieran had secretly recorded the two of you when he picked you up, and made sure to show the black card that was in SYLUS'S possesion

you'd have never thought he'd go along with a plan as silly as this with the two of them, but they were his assistants afterall.

later, you were bored out of your mind, so you decide to scroll through the comments.

"hows it feel to live my dream!?"

"i'll get it one day... one day...."

"if i ever had a boyfriend like that, i'd never let him rest."

and as you look over at the sleeping man beside you, you definitely understood them.

[jockwrites]

DIE FOR ME - p.b

warnings: sexual content (reader receiving, strap LOL) angst if you squint, cursing, pet names? i guess?

a/n: not spell checked & english isn’t my first language, lmk how i did :-)

"good God."

those were the last words you heard Paige say before she stormed out of your apartment.

previously, the two of you had been arguing over the fact that for these past two weeks, you'd been suspecting cheating.

today, the topic had been brought back up when she came to your apartment late after practice. even though she'd told you she would be there immediately after. honestly, you just couldn't understand what's been keeping her away from you so fucking late.

you wanna decide to call it a night after she just stormed the fuck out, but you need to find out what's been happening. that's when you decide to find out for yourself.

you put on a jacket over your shorts and tee, grab your keys and head out.

while walking, you decide to check her location. and what do you know, it’s off.

this pissed you cleannnn off. & with your pace becoming faster and faster with each second that passes, her dorms come into view. you don’t waste a second getting into that building.

you hurrily walk to the elevator, eager to get up to that room.

as soon as you make it, not only do you knock once, but twice. and not a single peep heard from behind that door.

as you begin to knock again, the door opens. and it’s her. you’re outraged, angry, so many words to describe your feelings as of right now.

“why the hell is your location off,” you bickered, “and why didn’t you answer the door when i knocked the first TWO times?”

paige just stood there. she didn’t say a word, and this is what made you more frustrated.

as you’re going on and on about how furious you are, paige grabs you by the arm, pulling you into the apartment. she doesn’t say a word to you.

she pushes you against the wall, kissing your neck. and this, this put you into a trance you probably wouldn’t be able to get yourself out of.

her touch becomes more aggressive as you push on her chest, trying to get her to stop. right now you’re serious. but she’s irresistible

“are you pushing me away?” paige whispers into your neck.

“so now you wanna talk..” you scoff, breathing heavy.

“there’s nothing to say. you’re just delusional. you get these petty accusations, put them onto me, then expect me to just sit there and take it.” she slides her hand dangerously low down your shorts.

“i don’t expe..” you’re cut off by her fingers sliding into you.

“i don’t understand why you wanna start shit so bad,” her words sharp, vibrating into your neck as her kisses go lower and her pace increasing. “because if you want me to be a ‘bitch’, i can.”

“you just..” she grabs your right boob, groping as her fingers curl into you while kissing your jawline, leaving hickeys that’ll probably be there for the next day or two. “you just think shit is a game. it isn’t.”

“paige.. that’s not-“ you moan breathlessly, your words cut off by her lips colliding with yours.

“no no.. i know exactly what you’re trying to do.”

you love it when she’s like this. all mad & messed up when it comes to you, damn.

“maybe we should just drop it.” you begged, the pleasure and anger she’s bringing to you becoming overstimulating. you don’t know if she’s mad or horny. maybe both.

“you’re such a fucking brat,” she jeered, “you start shit but can’t finish it.”

her fingers are now pumping faster, her other hand coming up to the side of your neck. she’s practically choking you.

arguing and sex isn’t something you thought you’d been missing out on, guess you were wrong.

“fuck. paige. im sorry, i wasn’t trying to.”

“there’s no time for apologies. you did this shit.” she huffs, pulling her fingers out of you.

she licks them clean, looking you dead in the eyes. you’re left with an unfinished orgasm and now you’re aching for her touch. all that’s left is to see what’s she gonna do next.

“go.” she tempted.

“what? where?”

“in the fucking room. go.”

you walk to the room, opening the door. you see her messy bed, clothes on the floor, shoes everywhere and her phone. the phone you’ve been eager to check.

you sit on the bed, taking off your jacket. you slip off your shoes and throw them in a random corner while waiting for paige.

she walks in the room with nothing but a sports bra and white basketball shorts. she looks good, but heated.

she starts to walk toward you slowly with that look. that look, as if you’re some kind of prey.

“you done being a brat?” she whispers.

“i wasn’t being a brat in the first fucking place,” you sassed. “you’re just crazy.”

that’s when she walks over, pushing you down onto the bed. she’s hovering over you, angry and tempted.

“you thinks it’s okay to just act like a bitch all the time? accusing me of shit you know damn well i haven’t done?” now she’s mad. you’ve pushed her to her limits.

“take them off” she snarled, her eyes roaming to your shorts.

you quickly abide, slipping off your shorts. you already know the timing she’s on.

she takes off hers as well, revealing the purple strap harnessed to her.

“what. is that.” you panted. she’s never fucked you with a strap-on before, her fingers and mouth is just enough for you.

“what do you think it is?” she’s trying to be funny but you’ve never experienced anything like this before. you’re a virgin to “dick.”

“i’ve never- done this before.” you manage to breathe out. even though it’s scary, you want it. you want it to be with her, nobody else.

“you wanna do it? we don’t have to baby.” she gazes at you softly. it’s so attractive how she can go from mean to sweet. you love it.

“yeah, but only with you.” and as soon as those words left your mouth, her eyes went from a bright blue to grey.

she pulls your panties down your legs, revealing your soaked pussy.

“so wet for me already baby,” she purred, “not like this for anybody else hmm?”

“no, never.” you breathed as paige rubbed the tip of the plastic over your wet clit.

“fuck,” she urged “you know you can be a bitch sometimes?” she slides the strap into you, going at a slow pace.

“fuck- mm, i know pai..” you can’t manage to get words out at this point. the pleasure is unbearable.

as her pace speeds up, she grabs your legs, pulling them over her shoulders & around her neck.

as she hovers over you while fucking you senseless in missionary, she pulls her right arm over to rub your clit.

“you think i’d do this with another girl? huh?” she groans.

“HOLY SHIT. paige oh my-“ you whine.

“fuck,” she says, her pace speeding up. “you think im out here fucking other bitches senseless?”

she speeds up, pounding into you with the purple plastic. she removes her hand from your clit, inserting the thumb she used between your lips.

“fuck paige! shit im gonna cum” you moan.

“answer me. you think im doing that shit?�� she growls.

she starts to go faster and faster, pumping in and out of you like a mad man.

“no pai- FUCK!” you panted.

“based on those fucking accusations,” she heaved, “you seem to be pretty stuck on that fucking- fuck. stuck on that ‘cheating’ shit.” she groaned. with every second that passes, she speeds up. seems like she’s angry.

“paige. im gonna CUM. OHSHIT” you whimper. the pleasure is starting to become overwhelming.

“then cum baby.” she leans down, whispering in your ear.

paige speeds up more and more, hitting the spot that makes you release all over “her.”

“you okay baby?” she says, collapsing beside you.

“you’re good at that.” you breathed.

she turns over to look at you, pushing your hair behind your ear.

“i love you, so much. you see the shit i just did? wouldn’t be caught dead doing that to someone else. i’d die for you.”

a/n: hi im stopping here bc idk what else to write. this isn’t rlly that good so if u have requests or suggestions (constructive criticism) i’d be happy to take them! ty for reading if u even made it this far, byebye

[serejae]

AND THATS HOW I MET YOUR DAD | SUNGHO

pairing : idol!sungho x reader

genre : fluff

WHAT ! - where a summer vacation turns to meeting the love of your life for this lovely anon ^3^ (warnings: petnames, kisses)

wc : 2391 | @onedoornet, for the odn summer with you :-)

"is your room clean riwoo?" sungho asked in a panicked tone as the younger boy rolled his eyes while nodding, "its not like they'll come to my room...

right?"

sungho shook his head and sighed "i just want everything to be perfect for them, it's their first time back in seoul and i just want them to be able to relax without any disruptions or worries"

he then groaned hearing leehan complain about being on bathroom duty for the 84th time that day, just then the bell rang shooting sungho to his feet. he ran to the bathroom and closed the door so you couldn't see, or hear leehan complain while cleaning the bathroom. riwoo opened the door for you only to be shoved away

"MY BABY" he cooed out to you before wrapping his arms around you making you laugh as you returned the hug "hi sungie" you mumbled against the hug. in the corner of your eye you saw riwoo rolling his eyes at sungho and leehan peeping out from the corner, you wave and say your hello's and they said there's and quickly welcomed you to their dorm. sungho brought you over to the couch to rest as riwoo put away your bags and leehan got you a glass of water (after he washed his hands...)

as leehan comes back with your water, riwoo comes back just in time for you 4 to sit on the couch altogether. as you all start talking they listen to you talk about your home country and a bit about yourself since sungho already told them everything. and you listened to them complain about how bossy sungho was today

"im so glad youre here yn, i don't know how many more orders i could take, he was treating me like some dog" leehan complained only to get his head pushed slightly by sungho "you guys are being dramatic" he defended himself "i don't know, i believe them," you said getting a slightly sulky sungho in return.

"yn if you dont mind me asking, how did you and sungho meet?" riwoo spoke up to which leehan added his 2 cents to the question "yeah, how did you two meet? sungho never told us" all 3 of you guys look up at sungho who was beet red. he looked over to you and his face read "please don't tell them"

so what did you do?

you told them

"it was summer last year, around june, so a month after you guys debuted, i was walking through the streets trying to find a good coffee place and a beauty store,.."

you remembered it like the back of your hand, it was freshly summer and you had landed in Korea a day ago. the next morning you had woken up to severe jet lag as well as a realization that you had completely forgotten to pack your skincare. so the disappointment, as well as the tiredness combined, create a very cranky but desperate person trying to find a coffee shop that doesn't just sell americanos and a beauty store that isn't too expensive. unluckily for you, when you got on the subway looking for a person to help they all declined. maybe you looked how you felt (crusty) or maybe it was just that they were busy, you like to believe the second option. anyways, everyone seemed to have failed you until you noticed a man sitting in the back with his headphones in looking at you. you held onto the rail staring at him

you like to believe it was love at first sight on his behalf, and spoiler it was.

you decided you had nothing else to lose and walked up to him trying not to fall as the subway moved.

"excuse me?" you asked

he looked up and shocked as if he wasn't just staring at you

he was making it very awkward right now...

"uhm, do you know a coffee spot and a store that sells skincare? I'm traveling and really need the stuff" you briefly explain your situation as he stares at you

that was the first thing he noticed about you, how completely gorgeous you were. even if you didn't tell him about your situation moments later, he wouldn't even have noticed

oh gosh, was there something on your face?

you knew better than to not double-check before leaving, you probably have dry skin flakes all over your face.

"youre very pretty" he blurted out

"huh?"

"huh"

you both said at the same exact time, you had a reason to be confused but he had said it

"uhm i meant yes i do!" he smiled widely with his teeth trying to downplay the awkward interaction, it clearly didn't work as you slowly backed away from him

"no!" he quietly shouted as he saw you walk away. he cleared his through once he looked around and saw everyone staring at him

"i'm not busy today, i can go with you to the places, and i can show you around

if you want..."

you stare at him for a second as all the red flags started to go off

"i'm not weird i promise, just...very awkward"

well he seemed convincing enough

you sat down next to him and it was silence again before he spoke up

"so, why are you visiting?" the man asked as he turned over to look at you. "just traveling, my friends recommended that i come here, so i thought 'why not?' i mean i only once right? but korea wasn't my first choice, i wanted to try and go to singapore or thailand, maybe vietnam, vietnam would've been nice huh? but my friends were more familiar with Korea, which is ironic to how i was just begging people for help right? i mean its like midnight over where they are, so i guess fair enough."

that was the second thing he noticed about you, how talkative you were, to which he was not complaining. the second he heard your voice he wanted to replay it each second he could. he listened to each word you said with detail and understanding as if he was the one traveling.

"oh sorry im yn"

"sungho" he smiled at you

"oh, how long are you staying?"

"about 4 days, well 3 after today"

he nodded and continued to ask you questions to hear your long lengthy replies.

as you two stepped off the subway he lead the way. you decided you wanted to get drinks first which he was totally okay with. even if he just met you today, anywhere you go, he goes.

you two made it to the cafe and surprisingly you weren't greeted the smell of only coffee like your friends had said. you could hear blenders of fruit smoothies to bottles shaking of mixing juices. as you took a look at the menu he stood by you admiring your side profile

"have you been here before?" you asked turning over to him to which he quickly moved his head back to look away

"yeah, this is one of my most favorite spots"

he lied :/, he never been to the place, he just wanted to go on the longest subway ride with you and panicked when he realized he had no idea what was in this area, he just kept walking as you followed until he found a spot. you both ordered and he paid despite your protest.

he sat there as you talked listening while looking at the receipt and at your order "you don't like coffee?" sungho asked as he turned to look at you shaking your head "this is what i normally get at my local cafe either way" he nodded at the information making sure to keep it memorized.

"do you like coffee?" you asked sungho this time

"no, no coffee is for losers" he laughed trying to impress you, and he clearly failed

staring at him as your head tilted he sighed

"yeah, i like coffee"

laughing at him, he turns to you and laughs too. he couldn't help it, your life was too infective. anything about you was infective actually

he realized in that short one and half hours that he knew you he was already picking up on your habits

"sungho?" the barista called out, you and sungho quickly got up to collect your drinks. when you both sipped your drinks at the same time he focused on your reaction. noticing his gaze you pretend to like it even though the drink was horrible. so he did the same, his drink was just as, maybe even worse. but he did a faked satisfied "mmh" as he sipped

hating the taste in your mouth you furrow your brows "wow, you have...different taste"

"can i tell you something?" he said swallowing his drink

looking up at him you nodded

"i dont know where this place is...nor have i ever drunk from here

i just wanted to spend time with you" sungho admitted stirring the poorly made overpriced drink

he expected you to be mad or something when he heard no response. he looked up at you to see you processing the information being told to you

"well i guess today will be an adventure for both of us?"

sungho smiled liking your energy.

today he either found a very very good friend or the love of his life

you both tried to follow the google maps leading to the beauty store but with the bad data, you two realized after 30 minutes that the map was leading you guys in circles. deciding to get back onto the subway to seoul, the city where he was familiar with so he can actually take you to a beauty store.

the subway was empty besides sungho and you sitting by each other in a random seat chatting away. sungho knew he was probably oversharing with a person that he met just today but it was something about you that drew him into to place that he had never felt familiar with

comfort, and sure maybe he used to preach about love at first sight being dumb and a stupid concept but, he understood it now. and the proof was sitting right in front of him

as you two got to the beauty store you started to get the products you needed since your day started but hours later. sungho memorized each product you had gotten in case you ever told him you needed or lost the product. you fought him off at the checkout managing to pay this time, but he swore to himself that hopefully if you guys keep in touch, you'll never have to pay for anything again unless he's there.

the day started to get dim and sungho agreed (begged) to drop you off. the sunset watched you and sungho as you both were walking. time seemed to move too quickly, that or either you and him were very fast walkers. he dropped you off at the front of your hotel, before you got too far he grabbed your wrist causing you to turn around "do you think i can call you tonight?"

"thats such a corny way to ask for someone's number" you joke looking at him before handing your phone to him. when you finally exchange numbers that's when he watches you leave and stay until he sees you go into the elevator, sungho continued to walk to the dorms with a big smile on his face as he replayed his day, your voice, your jokes, your face, just you. something about you amused him, whether it was your personality, jokes, or anything about you seemed to have him wrapped around your finger

as soon as he gets back to the dorms his face is painted with a big frown, his cheeks hurt too much from smiling and laughing today that he thought he couldn't anymore.

"did your face get ranover?" riwoo asked as he looked up from his dinner to see sungho frowning

sungho slightly laughed before jumping onto his bed and changing your contact name to put a bunch of hearts.

out of impulse sungho texted you

"can i call you tonight?" and threw his phone like a middle schooler who had just fallen in love

you replied with a 'sure :)' and he had never freshened up quicker. before pressing the 'call' button he fixed his hair and sighed

after a long 4 rings, you answer

and thats how it started

it had become a routine, no matter how tired you both were and despite the time difference you managed to call each night. whether it ended in sleep or laughter, trust, you both were hearing it.

even though his schedule was busy he had made time for you. if it was 4 am in Korea and the middle of the day wherever you were he still answered, whether it was to comfort you, hear you rant, or watch you open up his groups album to which he manifested with you that you would get his photo cards

and it wasnt too long until sungho had asked you out over the phone

when you picked up the facetime call he had his lights on disco mode making the colors change, a pair of orange sunglasses on, and a poster that said "let me be your boyfriend?"

of course you said yes making you see riwoo and leehan jump into frame cheering for their friend with party poppers and kazoos.

"and thats how i met your dad" you smiled

leehan gagged "he's NOT our dad"

"i wish i was older than you" riwoo sighed

"sungho youre such a loser"

"yn i wouldve left him the second he took me to a city he knew nothing about"

laughing at their reaction you hear sungho groan before he shows you his room in person. he laid on his bed and patted the spot next to him for you to lay down too, as you rested he turned over to you

he kissed your cheek and smiled

"i dont have to call you tonight"

he sat up when he saw something attached to your bag

"is that my photocard?"

"HI YN" sungho and you jump at the door bursting open to reveal jaheyun, taesan, and woonhak

this was gonna be a long trip

[morownic]

now one is too many, but it’s never enough

Don’t tell me you’re happy, because this isn’t love. (So be careful what you wish for.)

warnings/tags: NSFW MDNI (non-graphic smut), non-ultraman AU, afab + fem pronouns, mentions/implications of drug overdose and alcohol abuse

prev. // next — series masterlist · my other works · ao3

a/n: there is a specific feeling im trying to convey while writing this and its the vibe from oh no (peep the chorus lawl) and just kiss her (this one esp in the prom scene + only friend tbh) so i do recommend listening to them while reading this part! so far my writing is very narrative based, i need to work on writing dialogues lol

Surreal was one way to describe the mise en scene before him; Ken felt as if he had and had not seen this before, and that unease pooling in his stomach threatened to grow into constant anxiety as he stayed still.

Now, Ken was just seated on one of the VIP tables near the far back of that same club in Shibuya, the one some of his more rowdy teammates had dragged him to after signing his contract with the Giants, leaning back against the cushion with his left arm on top of the backrest and his right hand holding a glass of whiskey. He was nodding along to whatever Fucile was saying, obscured by the loud music, and it wasn’t long until the foreign player was called into a different conversation by another teammate. Ken took a sip of his liquor to soothe the gnawing coldness in his chest, one he couldn’t quite tell if it was because the beat of the music only served to louden his silence, because he felt out of place even in a room full of people who had practically revered him, or because that feeling reminded him of something from the past that he could not and would rather not recall just yet. Under the dim, multicolored lighting and amidst the thumping of the bass that rivaled his heartbeat, Ken hoped that no one caught on his restlessness while he downed his whiskey in one go, trying to figure out just what was making him restless in the first place.

Realization didn’t hit him like a truck when he saw her approaching the table where he and his teammates were seated, the sleeves of her dress shirt rolled up to her elbows and its first two buttons undone. She was holding her own glass of whiskey as she walked toward his direction without breaking eye contact, her gaze stone-cold and too unreadable for someone who had laid herself bare for him in the past. She looked even more beautiful under this kind of lighting, he thought, and he immediately remembered all those times he had seen her just like this. Still, realization didn’t pour and wash over him like cold water, and he wished it would, because it hurt even more when it didn’t, because it meant that he had been through this one too many times. Instead, it dawned on him slowly, like when he stood in front of her house with a corsage in one hand and a bouquet in the other and somehow understood that she, dressed in a gown that he thought made her outshine an angel, could never be his. It dawned on him slowly, like when he felt as if the world had slowed when she turned around after he hesitantly called out her name, her eyes gleaming in recognition yet her body unmoving from the hold of another guy whose name he couldn’t even remember while he was just there. It dawned on him that what he was feeling was just not the dread that came with feeling out of place in a world that both sang his praises and damned him with faint praise; it was this dread of knowing that, even in her world, he was still out of place.

“Sato.”

It was his first time in almost half a decade hearing her address him by name, and his first time ever hearing her address him by his surname and an honorific. He wasn’t sure if he should be happy that she remembered him or if he should pick the pieces of his heart that broke when she called him with such a degree of unfamiliarity.

“You shouldn’t even be here,” she continued. “You have an injury.”

Her hair was a little tousled, and under the dim lighting, he could barely tell that she hadn’t bothered to cover up her imperfections, something that she would have only done around him in the past. There was only a hint of red on her lips that had begun to fade, with a slight smudge on the left corner of her lips that made his mind wonder. He asked himself how the hell he could even see that and, out of habit, whether she had just left some dingy restroom after a quick hookup with some guy he didn’t even want to know. There were other times when he saw her like this, he thought, all pretty and cheeks slightly flushed from alcohol and practically glowing in the dark and always too far from his reach and never, ever his.

Ken Sato could be a selfish, selfish man; he could have anything in the world, what with how good-looking, well-off, and exalted he was. Yet, she was his first real lesson in ‘You can’t always get what you want.’

“Oh–huh?”

There was a scowl on her face as she leaned in across the table, and Ken could only think about how she still wore the same perfume all these years. He was growing lightheaded from her scent, failing to notice the way his teammates were staring at the exchange between them. There were too many thoughts running in his head at that moment. One was that, of course, she smelled as good as she looked, and it only brought the memories of nights spent in either of their bedrooms to the forefront of his mind. Then, there was the more rational thought of ‘How the hell did she know I was injured?’ that he interjected with another thought of ‘Anyone could tell, dumbass.’ And then, there was this awful, gut-wrenching realization that whatever this was, it was real. What was happening before him, the feelings suffocating his chest—all of them were real. His past with her and the present day where she made her way into his life again were not just one bad dream.

He hated it.

“Get yourself out of here before I tell Coach Shimura to bench you,” she snarled, and he didn’t know why. Vexation he understood, but resentment he did not. If anything, he should have been the one resenting her to death. But he couldn’t, could never. Not even with how egomaniacal he could be, not even with how he felt entitled to rage at the fact that she left him for Japan, just like his father did.

So, for the first time in a while, Ken found himself at a loss for words and only watched as she stood up and turned to address his teammates, her posture much more composed albeit with an air of disdain that was just as telling as his was—that they were both raised in a much different culture on the other side of the world. He briefly wondered if everyone else also damned her for it. He was, however, taken aback by her curt and polite forty-five degree bow toward his teammates, another contrast to her behavior toward him, as she spoke to his teammates in a much calmer and more dignified manner.

“Please remember that you have a game coming up. Take care of yourselves.”

He couldn’t find the courage to stop her as she excused herself and downed her whiskey in one go before disappearing into the crowd. It felt just like this, he thought. He would look at her, realize that there was no way anyone in the world could fill the hole in his heart when it was shaped to her exact likeness, and had to come to terms that, no, even she could not fill that hole. Ken, too, found himself pouring another shot that he downed in one go, hoping that the alcohol could at least outburn the pain searing in his chest. (It couldn’t.)

“Did you know her or something?” Fucile’s question pulled Ken out of his pity party, and he barely registered it as he craned his neck only slightly toward his teammate’s direction, eyes still glued to the empty glass he was holding.

Ken didn’t want to reveal that he did know her for several reasons. He didn’t want to get hurt again, and he selfishly thought maybe, just maybe, if he had kept some semblance of distance and indifference toward her, it could affect her just as much as it had affected him. But even if he wasn’t going to admit it himself, he knew that wouldn’t happen because she still had him wrapped around her finger even after all these years. He thought of the lonely nights he spent thinking about where she was, who he was to her, what they could have been. So his mind settled on the next best—or worst, depending on how you look at it—reason: that even if they were “friends,” even if the arrangement they had was a measure of closeness, even if they had laid themselves bare to each other, with him placing her in his heart next to his mother, there were days when he felt as if he barely knew anything about her, and now, it felt like he probably never did.

“Oh, no,” Ken exclaimed with a little exaggeration, to compensate for the silence that brought the attention of his other teammates. He shook his head, trying to ease the awkwardness and hide his unease by pouring himself yet another serving of whiskey and taking a sip of it. He hoped that his teammates would stop looking at him with suffocating scrutiny.

“We just went to the same high school.”

For the past four years, you found that it had become increasingly hard to put up a proper facade. There was no use for it at home; you no longer lived in Los Angeles where everyone thought you were perfect, and you no longer had to play the role of the good daughter anymore because your parents were long gone. Very few people had ever seen you past the pretense of the popular valedictorian. Your and Kenji’s mothers had passed away, you hadn’t spoken to your college roommate turned friend turned strangers after your falling-out, and he broke your heart into pieces that you had yet to pick up and glue together again to this day. There was another one, if you count his daughter as an extension of himself, which you did at some point as you bitterly laughed at the realization and irony that you could never get rid of him from your world, no matter how many times you tried to. But then you grew to love your daughter too much, even more so than you loved yourself, to think of her as a mere byproduct of failed love, and you didn’t want to turn out like your mother nor did you want your daughter to end up like you.

So, you named her after his mother instead—Emi—because you didn’t want to name your own daughter after your mother, who once invited some bashful younger man that came out of the foyer with disheveled hair, shirt untucked, and pants unzipped while she was lounging in the living room in her underwear, a glass of wine in hand, as she watched another episode of Love Island. Although everything about your daughter would inevitably and endlessly remind you of him, you still did what your mother had taught you best: curse the existence of the man who had taken away and given everything to you.

It was why contempt naturally came and etched itself on your face the moment you saw Kenji Sato since the last time you exchanged bitter words in front of that old diner somewhere in downtown Los Angeles. Years of trying to erase every trace of his existence went down in the drain, because the moment you saw him, you could only think about ‘What if we fuck it up again?’ knowing very well that there was nothing left between the two of you to even fuck up. You spent your first observation of the Giants during practice with a sour expression when you thought no one was looking at you. If Kenji was wondering to himself why he even left his career with the Dodgers behind for a father that was never there, then you were wondering to yourself why you had to come to Japan to escape from someone who ended up always being there anyway. You thought of what to say if he came up to you, or whether or not you should tell him that he had a child he didn’t even know of. All of that was put aside when you moved away from your conversation with Coach Shimura as he nodded in Kenji’s direction, when all you could feel at that moment was deep, indescribable longing and sadness that gnawed at your bones yet your face could only contort into an expression of scorn.

The next day, you didn’t come to practice for another observation, choosing to watch the game recordings in the comfort of your home and your daughter’s company. It was the first time in a while that you couldn’t look your daughter in the eyes properly because she reminded you of that doe-eyed boy you met in sophomore year of high school, and you were glad that she was at least preoccupied with talking your ears off about her new friends.

“The team is here, too,” a voice, one that you recognized had belonged to your senior shortly afterward, pulled you out of your train of thought. “Try to smile when you mingle, okay?”

Ms. Kudo—‘Just call me Eri,’ she said—was less uptight and less traditional compared to some of your previous colleagues. You didn’t know if it was because you were closer in age, because Eri was being considerate of your background as someone who spent almost half of her life in the States, or because she was just simply that carefree of a person compared to the typical office workers that you knew. She reminded you a bit of your roommate in college, and your heart tightened a little at the thought. Still, you weren’t sure how you ended up going along with your senior’s whims, or how you could even get your neighbor to agree to look after your daughter after a rushed phone call. You made a mental note to build your fortitude when it came to rejecting invitations to social outings and to buy something on your way home as a thank-you gift for your neighbor. A part of you reasoned that, since you had had your share of Japanese work culture, you knew better than to turn down a senior’s invitation to have a drink together. But you also knew that Eri was not that kind of person, that she would have understood anyway if you had said no, and then you were faced with the fact that you could use a drink or two considering what you had to deal with on a day-to-day basis. That, and the fact your face twitched at the mention of his name.

“I’ll… try my best,” you answered, forcing a smile. “I’m not sure if I could stay for long, though.”

Eri, who was leaning close toward one of the restroom mirrors and was about to apply her lipstick, paused her movement as she met your gaze on the mirror. She wore a frown that wordlessly asked you whatever you meant by what you said. You chuckled sheepishly as you crossed your arms.

“I have someone waiting for me at home.”

Her face lit up as she exclaimed an elongated ‘ooh,’ completely diverting her attention toward you. “You have a boyfriend?!”

You considered whether you should tell her or not. Maybe it would do you good to have at least someone else in your life other than your daughter. There was no one else left in the world for you, you thought.

“A kid.”

Eri’s eyes and mouth both widened as soon as those words left your lips. “You’re married?!”

“Uh, no,” you interjected almost too quickly after Eri’s exclamation before breathing out a deep sigh. “I just have one kid. A daughter.”

“Oh,” Eri’s response was soft, and if you didn’t know her a little past her cheerful persona, you would have thought it was out of character for her to look as pensive as she was. Still, the silence that lingered between the two of you was awkward enough for her to distract herself by finally applying her lipstick. You simply stood there, staring at the sink in front of you, noting how some of the droplets of water hadn’t dried yet.

You looked back at Eri when she cleared her throat as she put her lipstick back in her purse. “Dad’s not in the picture?”

You shook your head. “Nope.”

“Okay, then,” she said, now turning back to you, her voice gentle and with a small, genuine smile on her face. “Just until 12 AM at most, I promise.”

You smiled back. “Okay.”

She gave you a gentle pat on the shoulder before grabbing her purse and making a beeline for the door. You followed her shortly after, opening the door for her to which she responded with a quick ‘thank you.’ As you exited the restroom area, you heard her ask for your daughter’s name, and you told her. You smiled when she said that her name was pretty, and she was sure that Emi herself was even prettier.

“Also, just drop the honorifics! I’m not that much older than you, you know.”

“Eri, you’re almost thirty.”

“Eek!”

Ken Sato might be prideful, but he was not stupid. He was well aware of his feelings for you. He simply didn’t act upon them when he could have very well done that, considering how often he did things his way anyway, but he pushed away the thought of acting upon them after that night when you asked if the two of you would be friends forever. If he could not have both of your worlds colliding, he’d take any chance he could get just to be a part of your world. So, while he was used to that somber realization and the little heartbreaks that would build up after, he had never felt so hopeless when he saw you walk down the stairs of your house dressed in a soft blue tulle dress that made you look like you came out of a fairytale. Or heaven, he couldn’t choose. You were like an angel, if not more beautiful. And it was at that moment, when Ken should have felt something akin to elation that you were coming to prom with him, that he could only feel the crushing weight of the reality that you could never be his. He forced a smile as he let you loop your arm around his and bid your goodbyes to your mother, and on your way to school, he didn’t know if you could tell that he wasn’t fully listening to your chatter about whoever had been causing drama among the circles you were in.

It wasn’t as if you did not know at all. As a matter of fact, you probably knew that he had feelings for you before he had even realized it. You were used to boys misunderstanding your words and gestures as an invitation, as a hint that they could lead to something more. Most of the time, you would have just ignored their advances until they were bored of you or tired of trying, or you would have turned them down as amicably as you could, unless they had somehow seen you past your sweetheart persona. (Not like anyone would have believed them if they told others that you were actually a total bitch.) But this is Ken, this is Kenji, the first person that you truly thought of as a friend, the first person that you ever let see through you, the first person that you had laid yourself completely bare to, literally and figuratively. You didn’t want to lose him, but you didn’t want to pursue something that could make you end up in the same position as your mother and him turn out to be a man as bad if not worse than your father. You didn’t want him to not be a part of your world, but you didn’t want to depend on him because your mother had taught you to never trust a man, let alone depend yourself on one. So, you did what you do best with all the things you wanted but could never have: you keep them at arm’s length so you could still have them, yet you never settle.

(Years later, you found out that it was exhausting to live a life like that, and you would finally learn to settle once you have a daughter of your own.)

You noticed how he looked at you when he thought you weren’t looking. It was nerve-racking, the way his gaze felt as if it was burning a hole through your back. You had been crowned as the prom queen and was called to have a dance with the prom king, who was some popular guy from the basketball team whose name you could barely recall a couple years later. There was no way you could remember him when you could only think about Ken while dancing with him; you could only think about Ken’s uncharacteristically solemn expression throughout the entire dance, you could only think about how Ken’s body was practically twitching when you had no choice but to laugh at some actually smart joke that the prom king had whispered to you, you could only think about what Ken would do once you were done with your stupid formal dance. You had expected some sarcastic remarks, as he would sometimes give, or for him to drag you to somewhere more secluded to do God-knows-what, but what came after only made your heart tighten in anguish. Ken only smiled sadly at you before asking for a dance himself, holding you close to his chest from the beginning to the end without so much as uttering a word. Rather than feeling awkward, you only felt this strange bittersweetness; the deep, comforting warmth and the profound, inexplicable sadness that both came just from him simply being there.

“Are you going to college?”

Ken had made a quick trip to that one burger joint you loved near your school and brought you to the bleachers to eat together, away from the meddlesome crowd of teenagers that wanted a piece of him or you. You were taking a bite of yours when you asked the question, distracting him from unwrapping his burger as he thought of an answer.

“Probably,” he said before shrugging. “But, like, we’ll see if I can get to the Minor League without college baseball.”

The snort you let out was anything but graceful, yet he found it endearing. “You’re Ken Sato,” you said while chewing, to which he responded with a disapproving look. He was just like his mother in that sense. You swallowed your food before continuing. “Of course you can.”

He chuckled. “You’re right.”

Ken had shared numerous comfortable silence with you, even if half of them were encumbered by an unspoken sadness that the two of you somehow understood. This time, though, he was on edge when you had kept quiet. Anticipation bubbled in his stomach almost violently, to the point where he nearly felt sick and just wanted to put his burger aside before you could say anything that would make his heart drop yet again.

“I don’t know if I’ll go to college here.”

Too late.

“Are you…” He trailed off, pausing for a moment. “Are you going back to Japan?”

Your hum was drawn out before you finally shrugged. “My parents said I’m next in line. It’s not like I can just say no.”

He frowned. “But you can, though?”

“That’s literally not how it works, Kenji.”

The way you deadpanned would have been humorous if it wasn’t for the way you addressed him by his full given name and emphasized the last syllable in mock annoyance, the way you rolled your eyes that contrasted the layer of sternness in your voice, the tone that you would use with him when you were trying to be serious yet lighthearted for the sake of his (or perhaps your?) comfort. He glanced at you, and you were chewing another bite as you looked to the distance. If he didn’t know you well enough, he would have thought that you were just blankly staring at nothing, but he could tell by the slight furrow of your brows that you were having some kind of battle with your own thoughts. He realized right then and there that you might be leaving. You could be leaving. He wasn’t sure what he should feel and when he should start feeling it and where he should even start dissecting it all.

“Well,” he cleared his throat nervously. “Will you be visiting?”

Another shrug from you. “Probably. Probably not.”

So much uncertainty from someone who hated uncertainty. Ironic.

“Are we…” Are we okay? Will we be okay? We won’t fuck this up, right? He didn’t know which question to ask. You were always vague. Untouchable. If he had asked one of those questions, you would just say things in an effort to soothe his worries rather than things you actually mean. “Can we still be friends?”

You remembered asking something along the same lines one night in junior year, within the confines of your bedroom and under the dim lighting of your old star projector. You had asked for reassurance. Reassurance that neither of you would fuck this, whatever the two of you had, up. Reassurance that he wouldn’t let you fuck him up. Reassurance that he wouldn’t fuck you up. But deep down, you already knew that the two of you had gone past the point of no return, of fucking each other up, that if something was to truly happen between the two of you, the pain that you kept contained in your chest, suffocating, would finally course through your veins and gnaw at your bones like some cancerous entity you were forced to live the rest of your life with.

“Yeah, of course,” you lied. Of course you did. You always did. “But what’s going on between us, that’s…”

He nodded, already understanding what you meant. This time, you turned to look at him. You saw him hang his head, seemingly losing his appetite as he stared blankly at his half-eaten burger. You were always like this, he thought. Always vague. Untouchable. He hated it. He hated it so much. You, on the other hand, were trying to decipher the solemn look on his face and suppress the guilt that was pooling in your stomach before you started throwing up the food you just ate. It wasn’t as if you didn’t want him. You’ve always wanted him. He was always the only one you ever wanted. But—

“Yeah,” his soft reply pulled you out of your trance. He was still looking at your burger, absentmindedly nodding. “Yeah, okay.” He took another bite, and you could tell that he was forcing it because he had a slight grimace as he chewed his food and swallowed it. “Be sure to text me about all your… stuff, yeah?”

You nodded, humming as you crumpled the empty wrapper in your hand. “I would say shit like, ‘You have to come to my wedding and my childbirth,’ but you know that I probably won’t even get married.”

He knew. So much uncertainty for someone who hated uncertainty. He knew you were not only going to not get married, but you were not going to let yourself be tied down to one particular person. He knew that even though you had placed him somewhere close to you in your world, he was still not a part of it; that he was not an exception. Ken knew all that, yet he still fell for you anyway. (He knew he had no right to call you stupid then.)

“Yeah, yeah,” he said coolly. He tried to feign indifference, he really did. But the way you looked at him made him realize that he had worn his heart on his sleeve for a moment too long. So, he wore a half-hearted grin as he held out his little finger and asked, “So, friends?”

At that moment, you cursed yourself for the person you were as you linked your own little finger with his, that familiar warmth and a heavier, agonizing weight blooming in and crushing your chest. You could tell he felt the same, somehow, if the way his hand slightly trembled was anything to go by. But you didn’t dare offer comfort that you could not sustain. You didn’t dare let another lie slip through your teeth just to break his heart again and again and again. You didn’t dare to tell him that you loved him, because your fear was far stronger than your love.

“Friends forever, bro.”

And so, the two of you spent what you thought was your last night together as blithely as you could. There were a lot of firsts and lasts that made your heart swell and tighten at the same time whenever you thought of that night. You rode his bike for the first time, and that memory alone made you purchase one for yourself after you enrolled in college. He told you that you looked silly with your dress bunched up carelessly around your hips, even though he himself was staring shamelessly at your bare thighs, but he didn’t tell you that when you took off his slightly oversized helmet and shook your head to untangle your hair was one of the times where he thought you looked the most beautiful. He smoked his last cigarette that night, and the lightheadedness he experienced almost made him try smoking again when you left for Japan. He wondered how did you even manage to smoke at least two a day. You told him that there was a reason why you didn’t mind that he didn’t go down on you, and he realized not only did you make him feel bitter, you also did taste a little bitter. He did eat you out for his own pleasure later that night, thinking it was the last time he could do it anyway. He still thought you were the best he had ever tasted.

And so, you let him sneak into your house for the last time, and you noticed how your mother was seemingly fast asleep on the couch, yet another Love Island episode playing on the television. She wasn’t, you knew that, he knew that, but you led him up the stairs anyway. He made love to you for the first and last time. Made love, not fucked. You knew because it was his first time holding you this gently as if he was afraid you would break or slip out from his grasp yet his hips collided with yours with a force that could knock the air out of your lungs and make you see all the constellations in the universe. You knew because it was the last time—and you just realized that after you let him into your world again in college—that he kept kissing you throughout the ordeal, as if taking a breath was the most unforgivable offense you could have ever done. His kisses weren’t rough either; not the clashing of teeth and borderline painful bites of the lips that you would sometimes get from him. They were slow, passionate, as if he was trying to tell you something wordlessly. You knew what he was trying to tell you. You felt the same way, too. But you simply kissed him back with the same fervor, taking his breath away with you.

The next morning, it was the first time he left without so much as waking you up, and the last time you ever laid yourself completely bare for someone else. It was the last time he let himself think of a future with you where he could finally be a part of your world, and the first time you cried, screamed, upon realizing that you loved him even more than you loved yourself.

There was always something about house parties that would make Ken retch whenever he stepped into the room. He used to think that it was probably the smell of sweat mixed with alcohol and puke somewhere in the corner, or how packed, poorly air-conditioned, and humid the room was that it was surprising no one had died yet from overheating. But the moment his eyes landed on her, he realized that it wasn’t the smell or the humidity that made his skin crawl. It was the fact that every time he stepped into one of these parties, he would either make an entrance with his arm looped around her waist or end up finding her making out with some other guy. It was the fact that every time he showed up to one of these parties, he would either have the time of his life and hook up with her in one of the bathrooms or drink his sorrows away for the whole night while she danced with her friends and some guys from the football team. It was the fact that every time he came to one of these parties, he would almost always come home with a freshly patched up heart broken into pieces again no matter what.

He couldn’t believe his eyes at first. The last time they spoke properly was on prom night, when they had ended the arrangement they had throughout high school. He didn’t have the heart to drop by her house anymore, and she stopped coming over to hang out with his mother. He even had a small argument with his mother because of that. They had kept texting each other at first, but as weeks went by, he stopped sending her memes at random hours of the day, and she stopped telling him small things that happened throughout her days. He didn’t tell her that he had ended up choosing college baseball and enrolled in one of the top universities in Los Angeles known for its varsity baseball team. He spent his days exercising, practicing, going out for a drink or two with his seniors, and coming to a few frat parties that he had been invited to. There was a girl or two that had wanted to involve themselves with him, but he brushed off one of them and scared off the other by muttering the wrong name when she went down on him. Ken did what he could to try to forget his high school days, sometimes drinking one too many to do just that, and that was exactly what he had in mind when he saw her giggling on the lap of some other guy in the middle of one of those frat parties in his freshman year of college.

Ken hesitantly called out her name once he arrived near the crowd of people around the couch, and he swore the world felt as if it had slowed down when she turned around. Her hair swept over her shoulder as she turned, and even with the unbearable anguish settling in his chest, he couldn’t help but think just how beautiful she was. Her lipstick-coated lips parted and her eyes widened with an array of emotions when she finally saw him. He recognized some of them. Realization. Surprise. Delight. Sadness. Guilt. Longing. (He hoped he hadn’t mistaken the last one.) Ken thought he couldn’t ever feel more brokenhearted than when he left her house without even sparing a glance at her front door while he revved his engine and sped back to his place, but holy shit—he thought he genuinely would rather die at that moment.

“Kenji?”

God, he wished he could hate her for how easy his name rolled off her tongue, or how she called out to him with his full given name instead of the name he used to detach himself from his reality. He almost shuddered at the sound of her voice. He berated himself for still being wrapped around her finger.

“Oh, hey,” he replied weakly, yet he willed his body language to be as normal as possible. “I didn’t know you also got in here.”

“Oh, yeah! Totally forgot to tell you,” she said. Ken knew that she didn’t forget. She knew that he knew. A moment passed before he noticed how she didn’t even bother to move off from the lap of that other guy, who was practically staring him down as he spoke with her. If he wasn’t a better person, he would have just abandoned himself to anger and start a fight right then and there simply for the way the guy was looking at him. Ken settled with an awkward nod in the guy’s direction, who didn’t even bother returning the friendly gesture. Asshole.

“No problem, uh…” He trailed off, unsure of what to say. There was so much he wanted to say, but there was no way he would ask for a conversation in the middle of one of these goddamn parties, not when she seemed like she was doing just fine after that whole ordeal on prom night and especially not when he felt as if he was going to punch the teeth off the guy who was holding her as if she was his. (Ken selfishly thought, if she couldn’t be his, then she could never be anyone’s.)

“See you… later?” Ken wanted to hit himself in the head for how unsure he sounded, again.

She exclaimed almost too quickly for his liking. “Yeah, totally!”

Ken was reeling, yet he managed to give her a half-hearted wave and even catch bits of her conversation as he slowly made his way back to the group of guys he came with.

“You know that guy?”

“He’s…” She paused. “We just went to the same high school.”

As he disappeared into the crowd, Ken caught the way she giggled as that guy whispered something to her ear. He stilled when he realized for the first time that, no, this wasn’t just a bad dream. He was there, she was there, and there was still a distance between them that not even an act that was supposed to be reserved between lovers could bridge. She looked beautiful, too beautiful even in the arms of another. He didn’t know how much he could take before his heart actually stopped beating because of some broken heart syndrome, so he looked away and turned somewhere else. He really could use a drink right now. Hell, he could down a bottle of liquor in one go right at that moment just to escape from and forget everything. He only thought of one thing as he shoved his way through the crowd of drunken college students.

I need to get away from her.

“Sato.”

There was a hardheartedness in your voice that even made you shudder when you called out to him. It was weird to call him by his surname when you’ve spent all those years addressing him by his full given name, a right he had only reserved for his mother back then. It was even weirder to add an honorific at the end of it because you knew him too well to be using any sort of honorific, because you were used to whispering pet names in either one of your bedrooms, with lighting as dim as the club you were in. You wanted to throw up at the absurdity of it all. Why did you even come to his table, anyway?

You recalled getting out of the restroom with Eri and was greeted with the sight of a sea of people that just made you want to go home. Eri held your hand as she navigated through the crowd and found the staircase leading up to the VIP section, showing her ID to the bouncer before dragging you upstairs. Her hand felt clammy as she led you to one of the tables where some of the staff members you recognized were seated, along with some new faces that you didn’t bother asking about. Eri patted the spot next to her as she poured you a glass of whiskey, while your eyes darted around and landed on the table near the far back to shake off the thought of just how similar she was to your roommate. The sight of a familiar face, one you knew all too well, successfully did just that; although you hadn’t even started drinking, you genuinely wanted to throw up right then and there. It didn’t take long for you to down the whiskey Eri handed to you in one swift motion.

“Hey, hey, pace yourself,” she said, leaning closer to you so you could hear her over the loud music and chattering. “Don’t come home to your daughter drunk.”

You wanted to snark out of habit, but as you had done for the past four years, you told yourself that you were no longer in high school or college, that you were supposed to be a responsible adult and mother and not some broken teenager trying to cope with your parents’ fucked up marriage and parenting, their eventual deaths, and your complex with your ex-best friend and friends with benefits by having sex with anyone that walked on two legs, smoking until your lungs turned black, and overdosing in the middle of a goddamn frat party. So, you took a deep breath and muttered a ‘sorry’ to Eri, which she only responded with a concerned stare before she was distracted by one of your other colleagues asking her about something. You wiped the damp trail of liquor from the corner of your mouth and shook your head, pouring yourself another glass when Eri wasn’t looking and turning your gaze to the table where Kenji was seated.

Say, perhaps it was liquid courage, even if it was weird to have it when you just had one drink. Perhaps it was your brain trying to trick you into old habits that you had to grow out of years ago, or perhaps it was your heart simply telling you to just go after what you want, like you used to all the time, without caring how others would feel after you’ve laid them bare and take and take and take. Perhaps it was the realization that he was there, he had always been there, and there was no telling how much longer you have until you would have to let him go again because you thought he deserved better. Better than you, who only kept him at arm’s length because you didn’t want to end up like your parents but you also didn’t want to be alone either. Better than you, who repeatedly broke his heart because you could never give him what he wanted, too scared of what ifs, yet you still craved for a place in it. Better than you, who couldn’t even open your world to someone who would give you his world if you had asked.

You were once a good daughter and you might have been a good mother, but you were never a good person, you thought to yourself as you absentmindedly made your way toward his table.

It was hard trying to keep a straight face, but even if you wanted to show your heart on your sleeve, you wouldn’t know where to start. There were millions of thoughts running in your head and feelings brewing in your chest, and there was no time to navigate through all of them in the middle of a packed nightclub while you were trying to confront your once best friend without any clear reason why. Your breath almost hitched when you saw how realization slowly dawned on him, how his expression turned from one of surprise to one that you could liken to your own anguish. You’ve lost count on how many times you’ve seen that expression before. Perhaps once, when you saw him staring at you sadly from the corner of your eye when you had your formal dance with the prom king and talked with your friends while he was mingling with his own circles. Or twice, when you caught how devastated he was to see you sitting on the lap of some guy that had said a pick-up line so corny you didn’t have another option but to laugh. Or when he found you lying on your side next to your roommate in some frat dorm bathroom, barely breathing after snorting lines of cocaine. (But maybe the one time you remember the most was when he used the stuff of your sleepless nights against you in front of that old diner before you could even tell him that your pregnancy test came back positive.)

You ignored the stabbing pain in your chest and willed yourself to speak once you stood in front of him.

“You shouldn’t even be here. You have an injury.”

“Oh–huh?”

You knew how much Kenji loved baseball. That was something that even you couldn’t take away from him, and you were glad that you couldn’t. So you supported him in any way you could; in high school, you practiced batting with him, you came to his games whenever you could with that stupid banner you made, you cheered the loudest for him whenever he hit a home run. In college, you watched his rival teams’ games and analyzed them for him, you helped him come up with an effective training regimen and even joined him on days you were sober, you gifted him a new glove for his 21st birthday that he still used to this day. (You still watched all of his games even after you stopped talking to each other.) Perhaps it was that instinct kicking in, in addition to all of the unease wedging in your chest, that made you lean forward, dismissing his confusion and snarling at him to basically watch himself.

“Get yourself out of here before I tell Coach Shimura to bench you.”

There was a flash of anger in his eyes that only you could see, but he was rendered speechless otherwise. At that, you quickly stood up straighter before he could blow a fuse right at you and turned toward his teammates, trying to appear more dignified than you had been mere moments ago. You bent a little in a curt and polite bow to appeal to them, unclenching your jaw and relaxing the muscles in your face before you spoke calmly.

“Please remember that you have a game coming up. Take care of yourselves.”

You didn’t wait to see their reaction or hear their response, quickly excusing yourself and downing the glass of whiskey in your hand as you turned around. You could somehow hear the clicks of your heels echoing on the floor amidst the loud thumping of the bass, and you swore your heart was about to jump out of its place when you finally returned to Eri’s table. She saw how distraught you were and tried to ask you what was wrong, but you dismissed her by saying you needed to go home because of an emergency and yanked your bag from the seat so harshly that you were even surprised its contents didn’t spill out. You only thought of one thing as you squeezed your way through the sea of bodies.

I need to get away from him.

[j1mmys-darl1ng]

October 6th - kai anderson (smut)

Pairing : kai anderson x fem!reader

WARNINGS : kidnapping, rough sex, degrading, its literally kai anderson, sex on abandoned church site, blood, spit

A/n : not only did i accidentally delete this whole fic the first time but it didnt save at all. Please enjoy this stressy mess of a fic and keep the warnings in mind. Take care <3

IF YOUR UNDER 18, DO NOT READ. IM NOT GONNA BE HELD ACOUNTABLE FOR SOMETHING YOU CHOSE TO CONSUME!

You feel the car your in come to an abrupt stop, your body being jostled in the boot. You had no idea where you are, whos there besides for kai or if anyone knows your out here.

He opens the boot, ripping off the peice of tape that was stuck snugly over your mouth. It stung like hell but he still slapped his hand over your mouth.

"you better stay quiet. Fucking slut. Not a single peep better come out your filthy mouth. " he growls, pulling you by your hair so your sat up. He unties the blindfold thats obstructing your eyes from seeing, you imediately checking out your surroundings.

He yanks you up from the car boot, a painful yet possessive hand gripping your waist. He locks the car as you guys head to the mysterious location.

You knew kai loved having a god like complex but you would have never expected him to bring you here. An abandoned church. You had so many questions to ask but refrained due to being unsure what he'd do.

His nails dig into your waist, leaving crecent marks to make sure you wont try to get away.

As you arrive near the church, he leads you to the back. To a...smashed window?

He brushes off the loose glass, helping you climb in. He soon goes in after you, slicing his calf on the sharp shards.

"son of a bitch... Oi... Lick it up" he commands, yanking you by the hair and kicking your shins with force so your kneeling in front on him.

You imediately begin to lick the blood away from the wound, the metallic taste spreading in your mouth. Despite hating the taste, you continue to do it, looking up at him.

".. Ngh.." he grunts, his eyes growing a lustful look as he yanks you up and crashes his lips into yours.

Your teeth hit his. Your noses bump together. His tounge attacking your mouth. All until you back hits the altar. He clears off all the dust and debris, picking you up by your ass and sitting you down on it.

"you make it so hard not to fuck you. Your pretty... Slutty.. Face." he growls, pushing up your skirt and pulling the fabric of your panties as he spits onto pussy, roughly shoving his fingers inside of your tight hole.

Your moans are loud, echoing through the empty walls. Your hands grip the edge of the altar as his fingers curl against the plush spot inside of you.

Just as you feel yourself getting to the edge, he fully pulls away.

"i want you to beg like the little whore you are." his voice is deep. Threatening even.

"Please kai... I need you so bad" you whine, desperate to feel his hard cock inside of you.

"thats not my name, doll"

"master! Please master!"

"thats my good whore." he huffs, dropping his trousers and jeans in one swift movement, his erection standing tall and proud as he lines himself up with you.

Without any warning, he harshly pushes his cock inside. His hips thrust at a fast pace, showing no sign of stopping or slowing.

"i bet you like this? Dont you? Fuckin' whore. Worship me! Fucking worship me!!" he yells, landing a slap across your face that leaves a harsh red mark.

"oh my great supreme..!oh my god!" you cry out as his thrusts hit your g-spot, sending you over the edge extremely quickly.

"well that was pathetic.. You usually last longer that that" he huffs, pulling out and forcing you to your knees again.

He grabs a tight grip of your scalp, shoving his still hard cock into your mouth. You gag slightly, tears brimming your eyes as he begins to fuck your face, tasting yourself on his dick.

The only noises that echo are you gags and chokes but kai pays no mind to them, his thrusting harsher and his grip tighter.

"i bet you like being used like this dont you? All used up for my own entertainment like a good slut." his grunts get louder, his cock twitching down your throat.

You almost choke on the thick ropes of his seed he lets down your throat.

"get up. Were going back to that shit hole." he huffs, pulling his boxers and trousers back up as he begins to leave. The blood on his shin dried up now despite staining his sock

A/n : this took ages to write omg. I kept loosing motivation but i made it all the way through!

Thank you so much for reading! <3

[superstarcherrycolagirl]

it was maroon

maroon by taylor swift

young!coriolanus snow x fem!academy reader

1.1k words

tw: none

notes: hey yall im back …i can’t get over academy!coryo and his broad shoulders.. this is my first tbosas piece so i hope you like it:))

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

like just imagine if his dove is just chatting with somebody. it could be one of your friends, classmates, or teachers, he’s just there. not saying a peep and just hovering over you. it didn’t cross his mind at first that by him doing this could come off as protective and possessive, but once it did he used it to his advantage. and especially if god forbid if you got stuck talking to someone he’s not so fond of.

let’s say felix ravinstill.

“are you excited for the banquet on saturday?” felix approached you after class abruptly, as you just were packing your book bag up “oh- hey felix! yes my family and i are excited to host this one, we’ve been prepping since monday morning” you said in a chirpy spirit, thinking that would be the end of if. as you were trying to leave your seating row he jumped back into your path. the sun was shining through the windows so bright, as you were now facing away from it — creating a shadow of your figure—and it beamed down on felix’s face.

“i assume your parents are expecting you to have a guest accompanying you throughout the night,” in his own words he was hinting at a date, you could already tell as he was picking up a cockier tone of voice compared to when he first started talking to you “and i was curious if you had an idea of who you’d want that person to be?” his ego oozing with every word he spoke.

you stood there for a moment—just trying to come up with an answer that will get him to leave you alone—but not wanting to be rude. even if you wanted to. both of your families were relatively familiar with each other, and over the years nonchalantly toss in your family’s face that he will fulfill the same goals as his great grandfather once did, president ravinstill. so the many times his family has bragged in your very own household might’ve created a little disliking towards him.

and to answer his question, of course you had someone in mind. coriolanus, your boyfriend of a few months, would no doubt be your date for the night. you weren’t sure if felix somehow had no idea that the two of you were together, or just chose to ignore it. brave of him really.

you were thrown off and flustered due to his forwardness, but tried hard not to give more to his overbearing ego “well felix, i actually do have someone in mind if that’s what you’re wondering,” regaining your polite but stern tone “what about y-” “what colors should we match with? i was thinking that blue or green would look great on you” he said, cutting you off.

what?

you’re getting a little anxious, now not knowing how to really get him off you back about his idea of you being his date, but without causing a scene. shifting in your shoes, you wished you could bolt and run over to where clemensia, sejanus, and coriolanus were, meeting them at their table row like you do every day.

“oh c’mon now! we’ll blow this banquet out of the water! i mean it’s not like anyone else could compete with-” he was really pushing it at this point, until he suddenly stopped talking your ear off and paused, mouth slightly open.

he was now looking over your left shoulder. what the hell could’ve caused him to make his mouth run dry and completely lose his train of thought? you thought to yourself, brows knit and confusion in your eyes. as you peered at the ground for a moment, that’s when you spotted another shadow inching closer and closer beside yours. a familiar tall and broad framed figure—with a head full of curls— in fact.

oh. so that was the reason felix stopped talking.

coriolanus walked up beside you, as his cool hand slipped behind and met your right hip “hello dove, i wasn’t sure where you were. didn’t see you walk down to my row,” he said sweetly to you, giving your hip a subtle squeeze. he originally sat in between sejanus and clemensia, but traded with sejanus for the aisle seat once you and him became a pair “now i know why” he said as he turned his head back to felix, head titling a little.

“oh! h-hey coryo! i-uh was just chatting with the golden girl herself about this big banquet on saturday,” he said quickly. you were surprised that he was able to get any words out of his mouth, but wasn’t surprised that he couldn’t just say that it was your family banquet. your banquet.

the both of you were just staring at felix, and just enough to help him finally get the hint to leave “a-and you know what i will just have to catch up with the both of you later! l-later!” and that was when he dashed off, stumbling as he left the room swiftly.

that’s when coriolanus shifted his attention back to you, turning your bodies to face each other and locking eyes “i didn’t expect you could be such a player” he said jokingly “and i didn’t expect you could be the jealous type” you said back, making cheeky smiles crack on both of your faces.

“felix was already planning out our color scheme for my banquet. my family banquet! but he just didn’t seem to care,” you said laughing as you were shaking your head softly “said green or blue would look best on me” you said to him teasingly, knowing that wasn’t the answer.

he looked down at you, placing his left hand on your cheek—a rose red they were— eyeing the soft cherry lipstick that painted your lips, and quickly glanced up at the blood red ribbon peeking out from the back of your head. he smiled fondly, but a little bit of darkness lingered in his eyes “i think we both know what your color is,” he said almost in a whisper, like it was a sweet secret that only you two knew of. coriolanus pulled you in closer into a huge and placed a kiss to the top of your head “i’d like to see anyone fight me about that” “maybe soft pink or white wouldn’t look so bad” you smirked, knowing that he wouldn’t fight you about that.

“whatever you want dove,” finally, you guys started walking out of the echoing hall and heading to lunch “you have no idea have excited i am, can’t fucking wait for your banquet” “me too coryo” the both of you were so giddy now that you didn’t waste another moment caring about what felix had to say.

with a sweet kiss to top it off, you could feel your rosy cheeks burn a scarlet red.

so scarlet it was maroon.

[blossoms-phan]

will never pass up the opportunity, so! i am asking. what are your phanfic recommendations?

ask (honoured!) and you shall receive bestie! quick preface: i returned to the wonderful world of reading phanfic around the start of this year and have admittedly missed out on years of incredible work i am now catching up on! also in terms of what i read i generally lean towards current-era fics, canon compliant/fluff/smut- although i'm always taking recs from lovely moots/whoever, you may find this isn't the largest range (no aus/long chapter fics or whatever) but this is just a selection of what i've discovered/loved in the past few months and i hope to make more of these as i discover more writings!

shoutout to everyone on here for their recs, all the incredible fanfic writers and the peeps at @phanfictioncatalogue for their work and accessibility and being the reason i discovered so many new fics/tropes i now love <3 ok lets get into ittttttttt

"you look at my face a lot" by natigail: i credit this fic for getting me into reading phanfic again in 2024 <3 one of the first ones i read post-hiatus and i've returned to it countless times! it makes my heart jump, just so sweet and so them. the slittening(s) were such an iconic moment i can't believe it's been 6+ months since them but i love the little moments like dan describing phil's hair colour to a sephora worker, always wanting to know more about each other and the soft intimacy.

"the angel in the marble" by ivylakes: OHH MY GOODNESS this one is artttt. this one is my fave of the post-phlondeing fics i can just see and feel everything that happens, the loving, lazy intimacy, and following this week's t-shirt events it absolutely cements my HC that angel is a nickname for our philly. introspection, hair-kissing, body worship- i eat it up (im having a thing for mirrors in fics rn so there's also that)

"slumber party" by possumdnp: if i wasn't already clear reality-based fics really just do it for me and i love this one!! slumber party is one of my favourite recent-ish gaming vids and i just love the cozy comfort vibes of having a sleepover and getting a little flirty with your best friend/crush going on 15 years <3

"after the birthday stream" by trashcanfromgallifrey: the birthday stream ignited something in all of us but this is just such a perfect depiction of (possible) events after hehe. feels so them, just love the loving intimacy and shower activities and fluffy endings with cake <3 (shoutout hannah ily!!)

"lovers, keep on the road you're on" by possumdnp: another personal fave. japhan 2019 is EVERYTHING to me, this is so lovely and well-researched and i just go in between reading this and watching the stories from it when i want to cry and book a flight to tokyo

"welcome home! (never leave that long again)" by natigail: this one is just soooooo soft and sweet and fluffy. so heartwarming and one of the many wad reunion fics that has my heart <3

ok i'm going to end up including all 40+ of my bookmarks (not a lot. but working on it hehe) if i don't stop myself so as much as i could write paragraphs about all of these just know that my PPA test is positive and i was probably sweating/giggling/kicking my feet at all of these so here's a speedrun list of pure smut (sorry it's a lot of what i read lmao):

"juxtaposition", "slow down", "sensitive", "some kind of mood" and literally everything written by the force that is intoapuddle

"come light me up" by JudeAraya (perhap not pure smut but I loveeee the teasing and characterization in this so so dan ugh)

"appreciation" by Scuddleduck

"a little vitamin D" by Spring_Haze

"good for you, good for you" and "under my thumb" by dvp_95

"lucky" by iihappydaysii

i could keep going but for now i'm going to stop here! i'm sorry if this is messy i have no idea what i'm doing with linking and stuff but i hope this introduces at least one person to a new fic they end up loving! i lurked/read sooo many fics before finally creating an a03 account only a little over a month ago so i def might be missing some i've forgotten to go back and bookmark! shoutout to all of these writers (i could include multiple works from them all u ppl are amazing)- again i'm soo open to discovering more phanfic and want to expand my horizons, i've started to read some chaptered fics i didn't include on here but will reblog more current reads where i can! also if we're moots pls shamelessly promote your works i'd love to check them out! need to start commenting more too but ok ok wrapping it up

[nejjirez]

" BABY SITTER <33 . "

req ☆ : Hi idk how many requests you got piled up lmaooo so don't feel pressured to get this out immediately if you can't but you should do a Miles 42! either fic or head cannon about how reader has to babysit, so instead of just going back home miles helps showing how he is with kids bc i feel like he's one of those ppl who swear they don't like kids but after a while he's drawn to how funny and aloof they are and the kids are drawn to his leave me alone personality

a/n: hii ! i wasnt rlly taking requests rn but this is soo cute so i decided to give yall this while working on this big story i have for yall , ALSO SORRY FOR CUTTING OUT PART OF UR REQ , IT WAS TOO LONG BUT ENJOYY

miles = dark purple you/nari = pink

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"aaaa ." you heard mayday say as you played with her , handing her a doll that she seemed to like , making her face light up as she giggled with excitement . "aww , youre so cutee" you said , you were getting baby fever over mayday , she was so cutee

you heard a knock at your door , turning your head to it and raising an eyebrow , it was 11:03 pm and you were home alone babysitting , who could possibly be at the door?..

you were slightly scared , this wasn't your first time being home alone but it was damn sure the first time someone has knocked on the door. It wouldn't have been your mom .. she would've used the key.. who was this??..

you got up and looked out the peep hole hesitantly to see a boy with two cornrow braids , a dark purple hoodie , some grey sweats , and some jordan 4s on. Nevermind you knew who this was ..

you chuckled a little to see miles at your door at such a late time , you opened it and looked up at him tilting your head in confusion. "why is u here at..11:03 pm?.." you weren't surprised he was here , but at this time?? he never comes this late .. "i couldnt sleep ma u mind if i stay over for the night?" you glanced at the bag in his hand which probably held all the things he needed , except for what was already here. some of his overnight stuff was here due to him staying overnight alot.

"mm.. lemme ask my mom first but for rn js come in " you opened the door so he could step in , and when he did him and mayday locked eyes making his face turn up while mayday giggled . "you aint tell me .. this ... was here .." his words traveled off as he slowly looked at you wit a stank face (sassy nigga life style..)

im sorry .. im rushing this kinda.. time skip . 30 mins .

while you were in the kitchen cooking some food for you , mayday , and miles , you peeped into the living room to see what mayday was doing and a smile formed across your face at what you saw. miles was playing with mayday , looking pretty happy himself as he tossed the ball back and forth to her cheering her on to catch it.

you took out your phone to take a picture , but when you went to take it you forgot your flash was on .. womp womp. miles shot his head towards you after seeing the light from the flash flood the room for a split second , glaring at you.

"nari." he tossed the ball back to mayday , her still happily giggling in excitement. "my bad .. thought u didnt like kids?" u crossed your arms , grinning at a statement that miles had made not too long. "shut up , she looked lonely" miles was fucking HORRID at making excuses and it rlly showed ..

taglist: @hiimayee @gw3ndyswonderland @444morales @all444miles @marci-jean @spiderheartzz @nokkihy

[pettal00beaine]

Detention - Snape x inocent!reader smut

reader is described as a female, and is in hufflepuff

a/n- idk what possesed me to write this but this is so dirtly yall, im thinking abb turning this into a series but idk. Also its my second post thats an actual fanfic, so hope yall enjoy

MINORS DNI

(Y/n)  (L/n) was discribed as a inocent, kind and soft girl. She had (h/c) hair that ran along her pretty face, (e/c) piercing eyes and a curved, bouncy and round body every boy wanted to touch. Even though she doesn't even know that boys have genitals.

She wasn't given the talk when she was younger and for certain she was discribed as a sparkly ray of sunshine at all Hogwarts. She was a Hufflepuff and was excellent in many classes, greatest being Herbology. 

She was often praised a lot from proffesors. She was the one who earned Hufflepuff many points through the years. But there was one class she wasn't a fan of.

Potions. Lead by non other than Proffesor Severus Snape. He never spoke about the girl, but was strict to her at times when she got a few measurements wrong in her potion. One time instead of healing a frog she turned it into a pigeon. Nobody was really surprised though, her patronum was a pigeon after all.

 But aside from some little incident there weren't tragic mistakes she had made. Until today at class. They were supposed to be making Amortentia, a very powerful potion. But with one slight bump of her classmate she managed to add half a bottle of peppermint oil into the mix resulting in her desk being flooded by the messy jelly like substance. And with one glare from Snape she knew what was going to go down . 

"Five points from Hufflepuff. Miss Glitheard you have detention here later today., at the end of all your classes. Everyone stop experimenting, Miss (L/n) clean this mess up." And with a sigh that left her mouth she begun cleaning the mess. With her head down for the rest of the day she completed all her classes and went to change her robe before going to her second detention at Hogwarts. 

The first one was in Astronomy when she broke a crystal ball. But she just had to clean the whole class of dust and that was it. Plus Ms. Sinistra added five points to Hufflepuff for her hard work. But she didnt know what Snape was like. With one final deep breath she opened the large door of the potions classroom. 

There sat Snape right in the front of the classroom writing onto some papers. He looks up and says: " Oh Miss (L/n) you finally appeared go on and sit down , and dont make a peep." She sat in the way back and put her bag onto the table. After about five minutes she felt bored and started to get pretty tired so she laid her head onto the desk letting herself dream into her sweet dreams of candy. 

(Snape's point of view)

I finished signing all of my paper on grading the fifth year students. And looked up to spot Miss Glitcheard quietly sleeping on the desk. I started to get mad at her actions and took my wand with me and started walking to her desk. I stood there before slamming my wand against the end of the desk letting little sparks fly out of the end. She got startled and fell to her knees right in front of me and looked me straight into the eyes.

I couldn't help but feel excited. "Oh my Merlin im so so sorry Professor Snape!" She quickly tried to get back onto the chair but i pushed her down with my right hand. " W-what ar-are you doing P-proffesore?" she asked as she looked at me inocently and blushed a deep red color. She wasn't lying she really didnt know what was about to happen.

 " Do not move a muscle." At that she sat still as i walked to the door, i pointed my wand at the doorknob and in a deep voice said: "Colloportus." 

With that i turned around to look at her looking at me. I slowly walked over to her as she turned her hair to look at the floor. I moved my wand across her jawli and moved her head up to look at me. "Proffesor my knees hurt, can i please sit on the chair?" 

"No. You are to remain here until i say so and until im satisfied." I said as i tapped my wand against her small but plump lips." Do you know what mens genitals are called Miss (Y/n)? Hmm?"

 "N-no sir i dont i swear. My mama said thats not good. So i dont know." 

She's telling the truth. This is going to be fun, a smirk is already forming onto my face as i look at her eyes. " You can sit down now." She obeyed as she sat down, i quickly made my way over and sat beside her. I started stroking her thigh and rubbing her robe.

"Its a little hot in here isn't it Miss?" 

" A bit." She said. 

I started taking of my robe revealing the pants and pullover that i had underneath. "Why dont you get comfortable yourself Miss?" She looked at me shily before removing her robe reveilng the sweater, tie and dress shirt. Her skirt was relatively short, i could see her chubby thighs. On the were the cutest pair of thigh highs i had ever seen. They were thick considering it was chilly outside and had adorable little pumpkins on them. I could just take them off one by one. But ill be patient. "Tell me Miss do you know what an erection is?" She shakes her head no.

 "Well, an erection is a hardened male genital or so called penis. Its caused by a male getting aroused by sexual tention." She lisened carefully as i suggested: " Would you like to try giving me an erection Miss.?" She looked shoked, she started getting teary eyed and shed a few tears. I cupped her cheeks and wiped away the tears.

" Oh Miss im sorry, whats wrong? " She looks at me with a quivering lip, "Momma said thats for bad people i dont wanna be a bad person mama will be sad." " Oh no deary its only bad if its forced but you want this, dont you Miss Glitcheard?" she looks patheticaly at the ground as i sense her thinking, maybe some old giving in will do the trick. 

I lean in close to her ear as i wispered:" Not even if i give some pathetic points to hufflepuff? Hmm? Wouldn't you like that little Miss?" And at that she looks at me and with a frown quickly nods her head." Alright then,lets get started. Get down on your knees infront of me." 

She obeys my orders as i move the chair to the side. She sits right in front of my legs. I started to move down the zipper on my pants revealing my white boxers. I slowly reach my hand into them as i take my huge cock out. She looks at it with wonder her eyes growing larger .

 "Its already half erect and leaking precum. Go on and put it into your hands Miss." She then slowly took it into her soft hands and squeezed it a little bit."Oh my Merlin that feels soo good. You see those ball like testicles under? You need to squeeze them gently." As she reaches down i cant help but feel excited, than i saw that my cock had twitched now fully hard.

She looked at it in surprise before slowly squeezing my heavy balls. It felt like i was in heaven. But i knew what would make it even better. " Do you see that mushroom shape? I want you to put it in your mouth." 

She looked at me so innocently as she opened her mouth, slowly taking in my tip. As she started to suck on it like a lollipop, it felt as if i was in heaven. I then pushed her head further as i heard her gag and choke, i looked right into her eyes as i saw tears flowing onto her cheeks. 

I tried to reach out to wipe them away as she started to gurgle and tap my thighs violently. I let her go to breath air as she started caughing. After a few seconds i took her back onto my cock, this time i felt i was close so i started to pound into her mouth. 

My balls slapped away on her jaw as she choked. "It'll be over soon i promise, just a few seconds more." I saw her eyes roll back into her head. She looked so fucking hot like that. I soon aproched my goal and for the last time i held her head down to my pubes. 

Her hands violently hit my thighs and her eyes had closed, knowing she was going to pass out i pulled out. I closed her mouth with my hand as i said: "I want you to swallow it all, or else you get punished." She shook her head no and moved back, as soon as my hand left her face she spitted out my jizz leading to a few coughs. 

She looked at me sadly as i just looked at her with slight anger for spitting my load out. " Im sorry i couldn't do it, it was too yucky and salty." "You think that its disgusting huh?" She shook her head yes. "You really are spoiled rotten. You think you can just spit it out like that huh? It takes time for me to make it happen you know. Do you understand that?"

She looked at me with eyes blowing with tears.

" Y-yes i do. Please dont punish me i wanna be a good girl, not a bad one. Am i a good girl sir, am i?" Her lip wobbled as she said that. " Right now your a really bad girl. You wasted what i gave you. And you will get punished. Now bend over the desk." She shook as she got onto her legs and took a few steps, she laid onto her stomach on the table. 

I put my cock back into my pants and walked behind her. I put my hand onto her hips as she shook a bit, trying to look over her shoulder. I then put a hand under her skirt and took it off with one swift motion along with her underwear.

 I kept her thigh highs on though, she looked so hot in them. I then took my wand into my hands and said ill give 10 spanks to your pussy, you will count each one, if you miss one i will start again. Understood?" 

"Yes i undertand sir." She said cutely.

I then so sudenly bought the wand down to her right cheek, making her jump in suprise.

"One!" She yelped. I made sure the second smack was a little more near her cunt.

"Two!" She yelped yet again. I had a smirk on my face as i continued the abuse on her cheeks. 

On the last slap she was crying so beautifuly, while i was rubbing her wery sore cheeks so it would hopefuly relieve some of the pain.

"You were good my sweet little dove, you deserve a reward dont you now? How about 30 points to hufflepuff? Hmm, would you like that?"

"Yes thank you Proffesor!" She said with a cute smile, as always.

"How about i bring us some tea darling, would it make you feel any better?"

"Yes Proffesore, with honey please!"

"Of course sweetheart." Oh how i love her.

[mushess]

I'm usually to shy online to post my headcanons but the passenger is the only film ive ever watched that as soon after i finished it i was like "this film would be perfect set in australia i shit you not"

So heres some random thoughts i had on it:

- As someone whos lived in both city and regional australia and currently live in a town with about the same population as the bois (10,000 people i think it was in the film?) i can invision this movie taking place somewhere like moe

- instead of working at burgers burgers burgers theyd just work at hungry jacks, which is dead most days. I've literally been at a hungry jacks on a weekday at lunchtime in frankston (major suburb) and i was the only person in there for almost 40 mins and i think only one car came thru the drive thru so yeah

- them being in small town australia, benson would be nicknamed "benno" im sorry i don't make the rules, i hate it as much as you do

- randy would still be randy, but he would have the absoulute shit ripped into him about it by everyone not just chris

- when randy opens the passenger side on bensons car i just know there should be monster energy cans spilling out on to the road, i have had this happen to me many times in my friends cars (benson would be a zero ultra girlie)

- benson just dropping the word cunt every other sentence, randy would be like me at first and absoulutely hate it, but you come around to it pretty quickly

- diners aren't a thing in australia except like novelty so the diner scenes would have to take place at the local pub/bistro especially in regional aus. Imagine your having your hostage kidnapper break up scene and theres just a bunch of tradies having after work beers watching it unfold (i dont think the word tradie is used outside of australia?? so imagine your local laborer/tradesman)

- or alternatively: the end scene taking place at a maccas. Immaculate vibes i tell u

- on a more serious note having your coworker walk into work with a shotgun and kill all the staff i think would have even a bigger impact on randy, as we have very minimal gun related violence in Australia (i understand this would be traumatic no matter what country you live in), but also realistically benson would still have acess to firearms as a lot of people do go hunting in country/regional

- chris is 100% an eshay i know it my soul (if u dont know what that is look it up on google images they're annoying af i should know my brother is one bless him)

- instead of watching porn hardy is doing coke lines in the office. We all know of that one maccas/hungry jacks manager, you know u do

- i know next to nothing about cars but ive been informed by a friend that benson gives the vibe he would drive a holden commodore with the spoiler of course. Every commodore owner ive ever known listens to metal so i trust her judgement on this

- benson literally has a Mullet!!! Try finding a guy in australia without a mullet atm, impossible i tell u 

- bogans 🤝 tradies 🤝 queer people = the mullet

- we literally have build a bear! The boys can still go visit lisa there

- randy on his green p plates, i just think its neat 

My Australian peeps, do you see the vision?? Thats all the thoughts have on it atm. But the passenger set in australia, you hold a special place in my heart

[rowan-guerrins]

9 fandom peeps to get to know better:

thanks @dragonagelesbian for tagging me! i am so eept rn so i have,,,, no idea how coherent this’ll be lol

3 ships you like: gigolas (gimli and legolas; i refuse to use any ship name other than the most ridiculous one lmao) (they invented love methinks); nerdanel x fëanor (their love and epic divorce compel me… rotating them in my brain like The Cube); and bagginshield (idiots 🫶). i like (love, even) many ships akfkskf but right now im in my tolkien era (again.) so uhhh yeah. all tolkien ships here. shoutout to dinkus tho.

first ship ever: literally aragorn and arwen. i was obsessed with them and wanted them to be my parents. in after-school daycare i would sit in front of a whiteboard and draw a big ole castle and draw out my elaborate fantasy role play i had w a friend in which i WAS their child. this brainrot has been with me for as long as i can remember i inherited it i will live forever with it. incurable disease (liking tolkien) haver.

last song you heard: squints. well earlier i was SINGING many songs from the broadway beauty and the beast musical but that was acapella so that doesn’t count. it’s uhh. (opens spotify). well i’m halfway through doom days by bastille (doom days by bastille my beloved). so that. (unless you do count what i was singing for some reason. in which case. uhhhh. if i can’t love her. THEE beauty and the beast song of all time. helloooooo is this thing on do you hear me? do you understand? it’s the musical song of all time to me actually. it’s so good. listen to it. evermore wants what she has.)

favorite childhood book: uhhh so i only remember really early childhood and later childhood. i know i had other favorites between like 5-8 or so. but you’re getting what i can remember ajdjwjd. as a YOUNG kid i loved “goodnight moon”. the kids book of all time. and in later childhood, outside of my obsession with the warrior cats franchise (a given), i really loved the inheritance cycle books. i need to reread them so bad SO BAD. also i need to get the illustrated edition of eragon. shakes.

currently reading: “the fellowship of the ring”. don’t look atme. don’t— look. look. when i said it’s my tolkien girlie era again. well. yeah. anyway. i am. 97-98% thru it so probably it will change to two towers. also TECHNICALLY. i am still. technically. reading “carmilla” (she’s somewhere in my room but i don’t know where oops). and also. technically. “the silmarillion” (LOOK.), because i need to actually read it all the way thru for once and not just skip to the bits about my favoritest worst guys alive who are hated by god and also do war crimes but they’re funny. so it’s. look. it. it’s okay. hey look at me. the murder is not a big deal. it’s all so catholic here. i’m more worried about that.

currently watching: stares into the distance. it’s been so long since i’ve watched anything. at least TV/movie-wise. i watch a simmer’s streams and youtube vids is that anything? no…. naur…. i think the last. thing i watched was. uh. an episode of ATLA.

currently consuming: BALDURS GATE THREE. i am obsessed w my tav rn. i restarted my playthru bc i wanted to good recruit minthara bc i feel like she’d have a crunchy dynamic w my tav, lleuad. somehow less crunchy than i expected but we just got her so who’s to say. anyway. shakking,,,, look at Them. (talking to one of the besties.)

currently craving: japanese curry……… mmmm. with. chicken katsu. yeag

tagging: open tag bc actual tagging always gives me anxiety lmao. if you want to do this, consider yourself tagged!

[sparksnevadas]

🎢 fic writer ask game :)

🎢 Which of your fics would you call your wildest ride?

this is a cheap answer i know but ALL OF THEM??? or like. 70% of them, considering i had a short "writing challenges phase"

I havent written that much in general. With my first fic "Sam and Ponk flirt their way through self imposed exile " i was just trying to understand ponk's character more, really exploring his voice while imagining what recovery could look like. I wrote it in the summer between my BA and my MA, so i was kinda lost for what to do with my time, since i didnt really have time to get a job. I experienced people actually enjoying my writing and ??? a tiktoker i followed even recommended it to people? that was super wild

with "Local Las Nevada Slime Feels Greener than Usual Today, Will He Survive the Day? " i just... it was me finally going "okay, i know this ship is super small, maybe a little unporpular and hated, but goddamn it will i write something for them bc i LOVE THEM" and then being surprised that people actually liked it, again. i was really surprised and that set me up for my big quackcicle fic Long Night  was written after i saw this beautiful little art of sam and ponk. i wrote something that i hoped captured all the little lonely feelings the art summoned in me, and then took a leap of faith and told pils that hey, i wrote a fic for your art, sorry if thats cringe. and pils... drew me art . it still makes me want to cry lmao. that was the first time i have ever gotten art for my fics A Square Peg in the Round Hole of their Heart was my biggest hit i think is safe to say. to receive so many comments per chapter really blew me away :D I hope its not weird or self aggrandizing, but i get a big ol grin when quackcicle fans recognize my username. This fic became a little difficult for me to write, i learned a bit about my style with it, and although i kinda disliked the ending a bit in retrospect, i love this fic overall :) (plus got to meet some cool peeps!)

skipping ahead, Grian's Involuntary Holiday at Skullcrusher Mountain is defintely my most impactful fic to me personally because i made a good group of friends from it (belle stitchthesewords and aci atherix, to name a few). this fic has been a challenge similar to Square Peg, but its a good challenge. Ive also been less scared to take breaks and really take a moment to figure out how i want to end it, something i learned from my previous big fic. i completely didnt expect people to really like it (actually, if you look at the first few chapters, i got so few comments that i almost gave up lmao). Ive been exploring having an overarching plot, small little plot twists, and writing unreliable narrators. its been a fun and wild ride this got really long and a little off topic im so sorry. thank you for the ask though, friend!!!

[z0ic3]

i will NOT be watching The Girl Before series... here's why:

WARNING SPOILERSSSSSS

I did not enjoy the book enough so i cannot put myself through watching a whole reiteration of it. i thought the book would be about obsession- and in a sense it was but it wasn't like the Netflix series "You" kind of obsession.

my main points so i dont ramble

meaningless characters + unsolved details

Edward tells about his stalker, a man that follows him and has a sort of obsession with his buildings. looking back, this man could have been simon, explaining his immediate hostility towards him when they first met. unfortunately, there is nothing to back this up.

edward is also made out to be very mysterious, closed off, secretly aggressive, repititive, and overall sus. but at the end of the book, all of the sus attributes are shifted from edward to simon once we realize that simon was the villian afterall. it feels incomplete and wrong in my opinion because why is edward a perfectionist? why is he so secretive? why does he go after women that all resemble his dead wife? why did he repeat the same phrases and go through the same routines with them? were these all meaningless but creepy details to make us suspicious of him? if so, i think that is a stupid way (i know that sounds rude but i cant think of another word) to get readers to not easily predict the ending. i think that in a book, everything should have a true purpose- edward's characterisitics never had any true purpose. he broke the teapot simon gave to emma when he thought that emma wasn't looking and there was no explanation as to why. yes, to prove he was possessive, but placing that scene in the chapter made it seem like foreshadowing that he was capable of crazy things due to his overwhelming emotions-- but no.

insufferable character attributes

Emma, one of the 2 female leads, mentions multiple times how Edward is the kind of man she prefers- an ALPHA man. Me personally, it was cringey and almost made me want to stop continuing my reading. I don't want to yuck anyone's yum, and the author may have done this on purpose to prove a point- but i was simply bothered by it. as the book goes on, emma even becomes more insufferable and starts calling edward daddy. to the point where i feel ashamed reading the book next to my classmates in school because i don't want them to peep over and see what embarrassing things i am indulging in.

no foreshadowing + poorly thought-out twist ending

these bullet points are kind of out of order but im too lazy to fix them and im sure u on tumblr dont give much a fuck. maybe i didn't properly go back in the book to search for these details, but simon never gave away that he could have been obsessed. Yes, it was obvious that he was deeply in love and attached to emma, but there was no sense of foreshadowing period- nothing to make the readers go "oh my gosh it all makes sense now!" or "how did i not realize before?!" maybe lack of foreshadowing was the way the author got us to not easily guess the ending but i think that a plot twist should at least SLIGHTLY be hinted at. because the ending , to me, seemed like it wasn't thought through all the way. I would have loved the plot twist of simon being the true killer if it had made sense. if edward's weird behavior had an explanatation,, if simon showed a bit more obsession beforehand,, if all the details in the book had a meaning that built up towards this plot twist... i would have been in love with the book. unfortunately, i cannot bring myself to sit through the show due to these details. (mostly because of emma saying daddy too many times for comfort.)

OVERALL

i am thankful for the journey of the book (mostly) but i could have had a better destination. i will not dismay people from reading it, but if i had the choice, i'm not sure whether or not i would take back the time i took out of my life reading The Girl Before by JP Delaney.

[interxstitial]

fooleds​:

closed for: @interxstitial plot: 4. your friends made you sign up for one of jiwon’s eight-nine-ten’s ballet class as a dare and you look absolutely ridiculous trying to do assemblés with all these kids, but surprisingly you’ve got potential. maybe you should sign up for an adult beginner’s class, or hip hop if that’s your fancy. just come back and make jiwon laugh again.

truth be told, there haven’t been many times logan’s been the tallest person in any room. he’s certainly up there, but not quite in his own stratosphere. in an attempt to focus on anything but how weird this is, he chooses to remember there’s a first time for everything—

including dance lessons! 

he’s never experienced any of those, either. (he swears he has experienced something out there.) his mom consistently comments on how she should’ve done so when he was younger, seeing as he still carries a certain competency on how to move to most rhythms. logan often uses this particular superpower to be a nuisance more than anything else, which…he supposes is why he’s stuck in the middle of a dance studio, trying his hardest to stay balanced on one foot. (he blames most of his inability on the girl next to him, samantha, since she keeps trying to make him ‘blow away’.) from what he could remember of the night that landed him the role of big friendly giant, he’d done one too many annoying, mocking tiktok dances for his friends to handle, resulting in them daring him to pick someone up with one of the dumb little routines.

he failed. horribly.

so now he’s here.

“samantha, you’re going to send me to mars if you don’t cut it out!” he scolds lightheartedly, pretending to tip right over into nicole to his right. “— how are you guys so good at this? your feet are, like, the size of marshmallow peeps.” he actually is a little bitter about their being better than him, but he chooses to believe that it’s because they’re trained and he is not. 

“teacher! samantha keeps messing with my pirouettes!”

scarcely has jiwon laughed so much in a single day than he has on this one. it is, however, becoming a problem. as the teacher, jiwon has to stay in control and make sure everyone focuses on the lesson at hand. when his students giggle and whisper, he sets them right with just one knowing look. today, though, he finds himself joining their giggles and biting the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing any louder. one student in particular dares not keep his struggles to himself, lamenting over the difficulty of staying en pointe for longer than three seconds at a time or the impossibility of separating the movements of his head from those of the rest of his body. even the youngest student of eight years old doesn't complain as much.

logan im is a problem, and jiwon hasn't the strength to rebuke him.

"if anything, she's doing you a favour," he quips with a smile, glancing over at the two from where he's helping another student with their form. "you do know that you have to actually move to do a pirouette, right?"

nodding to the student, he encourages them to continue practising before making his way over to the biggest (and tallest) troublemaker of the class. when logan first arrived, jiwon didn't have the heart to kick him out. after all, he'd only made an honest mistake and already paid for the first class. so, upon the agreement that jiwon at least give him a fair discount, their lesson began as usual. first, stretches at floor level, then moving to the barre. those had been simple enough. then came time for the dance elements of this dance class, and logan didn't even know what first position meant. with great resemblance to a goldfish, he stared and stood frozen at the end of the row, in the back of the class, with something akin to panic in his eyes. jiwon, of course, promptly took mercy on him.

thankfully, all the other students enjoy his company. not one has taken issue with the fact that he's much too big, much too lanky, much too loud, or much too clumsy. oddly enough logan isn't much of a distraction. if anything, the students work twice as hard to show how well they've practised and listened to their teacher.

breathing deeply to calm himself, jiwon eases into fourth position beside logan, right arm out front, the left open at his side. "put a bit more space between your feet, and don't lean back so much. you should keep yourself centered."

[taek-danada]

handwriting tag!

tagged by @fairy-taekwoon (thank you!!!!) // tagging @wonsik-chic @hansanghyuked @darkest-angels @taekswoons @at-taekwoons-mercy @chayeojitv @hongbeanqueen