#im disowning him as my brother

[insufferableroach]

my brother says he hates moths im going to kill him

[lupismaris]

My parents cancelled the official family gathering and I put my foot down and said I wasn't coming over on Christmas unless my brother called me himself and asked me to (because I cannot stomach being in the same space as him and my father rn) and frankly I'm glad this is a bare minimum makeshift holiday sure It be nice to have decorations up but we need to clean and get rid of shit more than we need decorations and I need a fuckin break from ppl who make me want to commit acts of violence. Gonna spend the holiday break in the woods.

[nomaishuttle]

oh i forgot its evil

[legogender]

just remembered garmadon Day ruined

[doughbrainer]

Me: *Remembers My Sister Half My Age* "Wow, This Is A Big Moment For Me, I Can't Call Her My Little Sister Anymore, Now She's Just My Sister Now" Person: "What About Your Brother?? He's Older Than You" Me: "His Name Is [Censor] And He Is Nothing To Me"

[rayvern-sheep]

🎊🥂🍾🥳💀💀💀🥳🍾🥂🎊

Abusive cunt died today!!!!!

Bring out the fucking champagne!!!!!

🎊🥂🍾🥳💀💀💀🥳🍾🥂🎊

Oh wait… I can’t drink rn… BOOO

[kaidatheghostdragon]

Found this while going through my fanfic files, and i absolutely had to share.

Danny: i want in

Red robin: …what?

Danny: your bat family. I want in.

Red robin, blinking in surprise: i dont know what you think you know about my associates, but we're not-

Danny: dont be obtuse. I know youre the smart one. And i also know that your all one big relatively happy family. I want in.

Red robin: …why?

Danny: because you guys are the first people ive found that are wealthy, intelligent and powerful enough to take on my fruitloop godfather and win AND are decent enough human beings that i can be assured that when all is said and done, my well-being will remain a top priority.

Orphan, appearing out of nowhere: new brother!

Danny: *stares in shock*

Danny: *sudden uncanny grin* well that's one convinced. How do i win over the rest?

Orphan: no need. New brother!

Red robin: *pointed glance of betrayal* fine. Who is your godfather?

Danny: vlad masters. He's a fruitloop.

Red robin: for real? B's been investigating him for years! Tell me everything! *genuinely excited for a new lead*

Danny: well, he's tried to murder my dad and marry my mom, gained his wealth illegally, committed voting fraud to become the mayor of my hometown, has a secret underground lab where he does unethical experiments, and he's abducted me more than a dozen times even before my parents disowned me to make me his evil apprentice or whatever. Now that im homeless, he's literally out to get me. Oh! And he's cloned me too! She's cool though, we're buddies now.

Batman, who just arrived but heard everything over comms: hn. (Translation: who are you?)

Danny: my name is Danny. No last name anymore, but im hoping itll soon be Wayne! *winking suggestively*

Batman: hn? (how much do you know?)

Danny: enough to know that youre a much better alternative to vlad.

Batman: …hn (i dont know anything about you. What if youre a spy for vlad?)

Danny, giving his salesman pitch: i was a teen vigilante in amity park before i had to run away from home for my own safety. Vlad is one of my rogues. I know how to fight and defend myself, how to minimize collateral damage in a fight, and ive gotten really good and escaping kidnapping attempts. Ive also managed to reform and/or make allies out of approximately half of my rogues and can talk down about 30% of all rogue confrontations before they turn into a messy fight. The other things i can bring to the table are: one, i can teach all of you guys proper liminality self care; two, i can probably minimize and possibly cure red hood's anger issues; three, i can get along with stabby robin because i consider fighting a friendly social interaction - he can even stab me and i wont be injured by it; four, i can be your go-to guy for supernatural cases so you no longer have to deal with that sad trenchcoat man; five-

Red robin: *blurting* youre hired.

Batman: hn (i am deeply concerned)

Danny: if youre concerned now, wait until i tell you about the anti ecto control act

Nightwing, who showed up in the middle of the sales pitch: ive never seen anyone crack B's grunt language so quickly

Danny: grunt language? He's just using ghost speak - which will be covered by the liminality self care lessons

Robin, who arrived with batman: what is a liminal?

Danny: all of you, of course! Otherwise you wouldnt need to learn about it, obviously

Robin: and why would we trust you?

Danny: did i mention i have a pet ghost dog?

Robin: …you drive a hard bargain

Danny, fist pumping: yes! That's three!

Nightwing: four, you got me when you could understand B's grunting

Red Hood, arrived with nightwing: five, assuming you arent lying about the pit rage

Danny, hand to his chest: i would never!

Orphan: honesty. Earnest. New brother.

Oracle, over comms: six. The anti ecto acts are legit and im terrified for his safety, assuming he's phantom, who is the vigilante of amity park

Spoiler, arrived with orphan: seven, as long as youre down for a few pranks

Batman: hn (ive been outvoted)

Batman: hnn (i dont wanna hear any jokes about adoption habits when you all forced my hand)

Batman: hn (that said)

Batman: welcome to the family

Duke, the next day: man, i miss out on everything exciting.

Duke, blinded by danny: and who the fuck told bruce he could adopt the fucking sun?!

[imtheiliad]

god i wish my manifesting would have worked

[jasmines-library]

if your requests are closed you can just ignore this :) but im just imagining liek a batfam and younger teenage daughter where bruce gets a tattoo of her name or like symbol which is usually a big no but he got it where it's not as noticeable cause she mentioned once how he should and so when he showed her and all the other boys they immediately would pull all dramatics like oh he doesn't love me ph he picked favorites and in all reality he was planning on getting a tattoo for all of them and just did hers first to mess with them a bit

Fresh Ink

⛤⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽⛧☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅⛤

Word count: 400

BATFAM MASTERLIST

⛤⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽⛧☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅⛤

“What is that?" Damian scowled, noting the small inking peeking out of the hem of Bruce's shirt. The six of you were mingling in the kitchen, all gathered together for breakfast before you all scatter about for your own busy days.

Bruce followed Damian’s gaze, as did Tim and Dick. “It’s a tattoo.” Bruce hummed.

Damian practically rolled his eyes. “TT. I can see that. But since when did you get tattoos?”

“It’s recent.” Bruce answered.

Damian squinted at the tattoo. It was rather small, but– “Is that her name?!” Damian pointed a finger at you accusingly from across the room.

This time Dick inspected the tattoo. “It is.”

Damian gasped dramatically. “Favouritism!”

“It’s not favouritism –” Bruce started.

“It is.” Jason said from where he was leaning against the counter.

“No it isn’t–”

“Where’s our tattoo’s, bruce?” Tim leaned in. “Don’t you love us too?”

“He doesn’t love us anymore, Tim.” Dick said teasingly. “We’re not worthy of tattoos.”

“You may as well disown us.” Jason added “It’s clear they’re the favourite.”

You laughed softly, amused from the other side of the room. It is clear that your brothers are joking, amused by the situation. Well…maybe all of them except Damian who sat there slumped on his chair, his arms folded in front of him and his face drawn perfectly into a scowl. “It was my idea.” You said. “I told him he should get one. He asked me to design one for him.I didn't think he would actually get it.”

“Sure.” Jason elongated his words sarcastically. “That’s the excuse”

“It’s true.” Bruce backed you up.

“Doesn’t excuse the fact that you’re playing favourites” Dick teased.

“I’m not playing favourites.” Bruce said. “In fact, I was going to ask the four of you if you wanted one too. But since I apparently don’t care about you then…..”

“No. No.” Damian jumped in quickly. “You love us very much. We were joking.”

You smirked a little at Damian’s change in demeanour, clearly keen to get his own tattoo. Bruce noticed this too, and so did your other brothers, each watching Damian with an amused eye, but also interested themselves.

“I’ll go get a pen and paper.” Damian said, slipping from his stool. It squealed against the tiles as he dashed out of the room, his voice fading away as moved continuing his rambles. “I have some great ideas—“

Bruce smiled a little. But oh lord….what had he gotten himself into…..

⛤⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽⛧☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅⛤

BATFAM TAGS:

@hearts4robs @xxrougefangxx @hell-o-kittys @harleycao @batfamsstuff @alicedawitchbish @killxz @rosecentury

⛤⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽⛧☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅⛤

[oh-no-its-bird]

Ok new incredibly stupid au just dropped:

"Sasuke time travels to the warring states because reasons" fic but like 80% of the plot is the fact that for some reason he's dressed in that one unnecessarily whoreish orochimaru outfit (or at least smthn similar) and Madara, seeing him looking like a little Izuna clone, fucking full body twitches and begins a campaign that basically amounts to "DONT YOU FUCKING DRESS LIKE THAT WHILE LOOKING LIKE MY LITTLE BROTHER!! COVER UP SLUT!!"

Made potentially even worse/funnier due to different modesty standards of the time

Madara would have cared about him to some extent due to his very obvious mystery relationship to him and Izuna, but smthn ab the very specific scenario of "omg I have a secret lost little brother.... but he dresses like a WHORE." has set him off in ways hither to unseen, and he's now oscillating between threatening to gouge out the eyes of anyone who so much glances in Sasuke's direction and, like, threatening to disown Sasuke for his dishonor (he doesn't even want to be part of your family Madara, fuck off!!)

Meanwhile Izuna, after his initial "omg whore !!!!" reaction, is in the bg quietly squinting at Sasuke and scratching at his chin going "hmmm... he kinda pulls it off tho,, and we do look a lot alike,, and it does seem to throw off his enemies sometimes,, and he really does pull it off,,,,,,,,,, and Im like SO much hotter than him,,,,, hmmmmm,, perhaps,,"

Izuna is about to try out a new tactic to throw off his enemies, just don't let Madara know or he'll be weird about it

(Madara is going to have an aneurism)

(Also I'm aware that his outfit isn't even that bad but we're playing it up for comedy here)

Sasuke ends up activley searching for more and more ridiculous outfits solely because it seems to piss Madara off more than anything he could ever do or say for some reason. If Madara just acted like a normal person he'd stop dressing like that in like literally a week, but bc he keeps losing his mind Sasuke is never not fueled with spite to continue

[povlnfour]

ੈ✩‧₊˚ PADDOCK TO PADDOCK (LN) PART 2

lando norris x fem!horse rider!reader

series masterlist | prev part | next part

mclaren just posted a photo ੈ✩‧₊˚

liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri and 206,311 others

mclaren always wanted to see the paddock in its full glory? go behind the scenes with todays special guest, @/yourusername, as she swaps one paddock for another to see a little of what happens on a race day!

view all 2,472 comments

user3 HELLOOOOO WHAT.

user7 WHAT ON EARTH IS GOING ON IN THE HOUSE OF COMMONS

user9 lando needs to stay focused :/

user1 stfu

alex_albon @/yourusername this is betrayal i’m disowning u

yourusername noooo dad pls. i’ll come to williams next💙

user7 y/n calling alex and lily mom & dad… she’s just like us for real

landonorris 🧡

liked by yourusername

y/nupdates just posted a photo ੈ✩‧₊˚

liked by mclaren, landonorris and 21,305 others

y/nupdates y/n today after the race!!! she was seen leaving with teammates lando norris and oscar piastri, and oscar’s girlfriend lily! thank you @/mclaren for taking care of our girl today🧡

view all 202 comments

user4 prettiest baby in existence she is GLOWING

user6 can’t believe she’s an f1 fan this feels unreal

mclaren it was our honour🧡

meanwhile, in texts ੈ✩‧₊˚

yourusername just posted a photo ੈ✩‧₊˚

liked by landonorris, carlossainz55 and 128,119 others

yourusername back from my adventures into training. qualifications coming up which means extra work for this little (big) man🫣

view all 3,915 comments

user3 BEANIE BOYYYY🥹

user8 you got this y/n/n!!!!

flo_norris_showjumping best of luck for qualifying, let me know how it goes🩷

user2 carlos in the likes again i’m TELLING YOU lando is talking abt y/n to the grid boys

landonorris he’s kind of cute ig

yourusername DOES THIS MEAN YOU’LL MEET HIM

landonorris @/yourusername literally where did i say this

user4 petition for lando to meet mr. bean

f1updates just posted a status ੈ✩‧₊˚

f1updates asked about his growing friendship with showjumper y/n y/l/n, lando said today that the two are ‘just becoming friends’ and ‘don’t have much time to see each other’ now y/n is back in her home county. but sources close to the two say they’ve been facetiming most nights👀

view all 106 comments

user10 everyone leave them alone and let them have their private lives challenge

user11 good! lando should be staying focused on getting good face results. he can’t afford this right now.

user9 thank you! i’ve been saying this for ages!

user3 jobless ppl in the comments he’s a grown man and they’re just friends anyway

landonorris just posted a photo ੈ✩‧₊˚

liked by carlossainz55, danielricciardo and 226,382 others

landonorris p2 quali in home race, and some great company. what could be better🧡

👤 tagged yourusername, oscarpiastri

view all 10,400 comments

user7 WHAT HAPPENED TO BEING TOO BUSY TO HANG OUT MR. NORRIS?!

carlossainz55 well done brother❤️

user3 CARLANDO🥹🥹🥹

user1 y’all weren’t apart for very long i see👀

user5 OSCAR IS SO CUTEEE😭

yourusername 🧡 can’t wait to watch tomorrow

liked by landonorris

user6 SHES GOING TO THE RACE????

williamsracing just posted a photo ੈ✩‧₊˚

liked by alex_albon, yourusername and 52,118 others

williamsracing just call us mr steal your girl👀 @/mclaren

👤tagged yourusername, lilymhe, zoe_albon

view all 2,466 comments

user5 AHAHHA IM HERE FOR MCLAREN VS WILLIAMS

user1 admin i love u so bad rn😭

mclaren @/yourusername how could you?!

yourusername a rock and a hard place…

alex_albon the BETTER team

user4 y/n, lily and zoe all together🥹🥹🥹

landonorris …

user7 OH HES SNDJSJSJS

user9 you deserve better lando!

user1 @/user9 once again, stfu

yourusername answer my text douchebag

yourusername added to their story ੈ✩‧₊˚

y/nupdates posted a photo ੈ✩‧₊˚

liked by yourusername and 23,404 others

y/nupdates sending all the luck to @/yourusername and mr. bean today as they compete in the final qualification around for paris 2024!🩷

view all 233 comments

user2 good luck y/n🥹🫶

user5 eeee today is the day!!!!!

user12 came for lando, stayed for y/n. good luck hon!

yourusername thank you guys🥹🩷 hope i can make you proud

a/n: i realise this wasn’t v interesting but… attempting a slow ish burn bc i love pining

taglist for the next updates can be found here!

- giselle xx

[420technoblazeit]

i can't rewatch spn season 1 because every episode dean's like when we find dad we can be a family again. and sam goes i dont want that (i spent so long fighting for my own freedom. dad disowned me and hurt us and i dont understand how you can forgive him so easily and act like nothing happened. how can you keep making excuses for him? i had to work so hard to build a life without him, without you. and you never even came to find me. how could you ask me to go back?)

and dean's like why not? (i gave up so much so you could have something even close to a normal childhood. all those years spent arguing with dad and hiding things from you so you could grow up carefree. i have to accept that dad did the best he could because the alternative is too much for me to bear. you said you didn't want anything to do with the hunting life so i kept my distance. you look at me like im a stranger instead of your brother and im starting to think that all these years ive spent alone, everything ive sacrificed, was for nothing) and im just supposed to be normal about that i guess

[strawberryjampire]

heres the thing. i dont actually hate stanford pines. hes not my favorite, i dont hate him, im fairly neutral on him. i even enjoy him sometimes. my hatered of him is vastly overperformed, largely due to how many people seem to treat him like hes never done wrong. ford fans (love you guys, this is just my singular greivance) not infrequently talk about ford as though he hasnt done bad things. this is a man who let his brother get disowned and kicked out onto the streets, who didnt talk to him for 10 years despite his ability to at any time. this is a man who called stan up after ten years to send him away (and i don't even really blame him for this considering he hadn't slept in days). he did mind control for the government. he endangers dipper and mabel (infinity sided die in a cheap plastic case with his regular dice while playing d&d&md with dipper, giving mabel a crossbow, taking dipper to a spaceship where he didnt know if all of the aliens were dead (which is still a dangerout trip anyway), giving the twins a mind control device to use unsupervised,).

(obviously, i dont think stan has done nothing wrong either. he is s thief, a con artist, a criminal, he uses a false identity, he commits tax fraud, llamacide, he taught a bear to drive, he didnt tell ford what happened when the machine broke, he had dipper and mabel make fake money, ect. but he didnt deserve to be homeless. maybe i was just a closeted teenager who kept emergency clothes and blankets in my car trunk because i was so afraid i would be disowned if my parents found out im trans, and growing up with that fear certainly affects which stan i latched on to, but basically no 17 year old deserves to be homeless (and no, i dont think he is at fault for the portal incident either, that shit just fucking happened by fate or some nonsense. theres no way).

ford isnt faultless. (no, i dont blame him for getting manipulated by bill. i do blame him for being mad at stanley for reactivating the portal when he had been screaming at stanley to help him, which means stan quite literally was doing what ford said, especially considering by the tine he read the warnings in the journal about the portal it had been 30 years of his life working on this. and i blame both of them for not talking about their feelings as teenagers, but it was unfortunately the 60s).

neither of them are faultless, their lives are a comedy of errors, they hurt me to think about, im high while im typing this, i love this show im so normal about it, ford fumbled the bag (fiddleford) so bad man, ect ect

[kakushigotofanclub]

CLEMENTINE THOUGHTS ON THE NEW EP IM LOSING MY MIND

-LEON

I didn’t think I had many thoughts but I started answering this ask and then realized I actually have a lot of thoughts

The way Obanai is so excited to get a letter from Mitsuri is so freaking adorable agsjakalfjsk

Zenitsu PLEASE stop embarrassing yourself you’ve gotten knocked down FOUR spots already in my top ten favorite KnY characters during this arc come on get it together man 😭

Sanemi is TOTALLY DERANGED

The way Genya gets so defensive and angry when Zenitsu (accurately) calls Sanemi a lunatic is played off as comedic but oh my god you know what? Somehow that moment hit me the hardest??

I can’t even find it a little bit funny it’s just SO tragic

Even after getting disowned and threatened and attacked. Genya STILL doesn’t get it. It’s not that he’s being stubborn. He’s not being optimistic. He’s not being hopeful. He literally DOES NOT UNDERSTAND that Sanemi is NOT the same person he was when they were kids.

It’s literally just not even a POSSIBILITY in his mind.

Genya thinks Sanemi can do no wrong

Which means he probably thinks he deserved everything Sanemi said and did to him

,,,baby 😭😭😭😭

Also you know what I REALLY wish Kyojuro could have witnessed that fight between the Shinazugawa brothers

I literally don’t even know what he would have done but it would have made him MAD

(Which is probably why I don’t even know what he would have done lol; I can’t picture Kyojuro being angry)

[sincerelyverena]

Can you write for sub!Oliver? I'm so desperate seeing him squirming and whining😮‍💨

⟡⁺ RUN, BUNNY, RUN

oh hi guys its been a while ! never thought id manage to get this out but here it is, n i hope u all enjoy. ive missed each n every one of u (sorta) (joking). anyways im planning to lean in on the more multifandom aspect of my account, so youll be seeing a few different fandoms scattered around. nevertheless, give it a read! mybe itll be ur thing :] ty anon for this request, much love <3

. . . OLIVER QUICK X FEM!READER ‘beautiful, violent, vulgar.’ @ajs-222 @michael-loves-chickens @surazim @soocore @fedyascoffin

inbox is always open to requests!

in whichꕀ

✦ ﹒oliver got what he wanted at a price.

tagsꕀ

✦ ﹒smut ﹐sub!oliver﹐dom!reader ﹐y/n catton﹐reader is a cougar ﹐oliver just cant get enough﹐reader is implied to be a shorty ﹐elspeth is a hoe﹐cunnilingus ﹐degradation﹐orgasm denial﹐marking kink ﹐lowkey blackmail ﹐farleighs there too!

ON THE HUNT FOR BETA READERS! MSG ME <3

He reminded you of a bunny, an animal.

Oliver Quick was reticent compared to the hearty, high conversation around the table that night. He was stuck out like a sore thumb in contrast to the Cattons, a family line of the prestigious. High on the grace of themselves and each other. Blissfully unaware of anyone or anything past what they offer to their inflated egos. And who were you, to make such unprincipled claims against family? Against blood?

Mother  – Elspeth, as she insists all the children call her – had always made snide, discreet digs at you. Shielded with a manipulative curl of the whoreish pinks of her lipstick. Underneath those sly comments is a white-hot grudge, directed toward her only daughter of blood and the Catton heiress everybody just seemed to have forgotten about.

‘You only think of yourself.’ She says. 

‘You only believe you’re superior because you abandoned the only people who’ll ever care for you.’

But they never cared for you. Not in the slightest.

You were the only descendant of the new-age family line that didn’t reside under the roof of Saltburn, causing waves in the circles of old money when you took your trust fund (and dignity) in a single palm and vanished to New Mexico. 

Nevertheless, to maintain access to the trust fund, you have been spending the entirety of every summer with your bloodline you inherently disowned. Money was the bottom line, the bottom line of every transaction you make with your parents. Which wasn’t a problem in the slightest, considering in their eyes, how much you were worth was the only thing cardinal about you.

You had stayed summers long enough to recognize the twisted, Catton-branded pattern your brother, Felix, had fallen into. In your eyes, he wasn’t fit to be claimed the bloodline heir. His blood is unsavory and debilitated. During the presidency of his birth, Elspeth had been participating in affairs with men who would’ve directly tainted both the reputation of the family name. As well as the bloodline.

The crimson redness of your dagger-shaped nails clinks along the side of the thin wineglass in your palm. Those morals of clean blood had been hammered into your head for decades, no matter how much your mother preached her modernized values.

Elspeth was still the same harlot she was all those years prior. 

The exact reason why instead of disturbance, thinly veiled amusement is masked between your hues as you witnessed Elspeth’s conversation with Oliver. The wrinkle of her eye crinkled furthermore with maliciousness, masked with honeyed words. Oliver reacts in a manner especially foreign to you. The apples of his cheeks pinken as Elspeth momentarily offers a palm toward the muscle of his arm, a singular touch as Oliver’s lips clamped together. Unable to respond for a beat of a moment. The cogs behind Oliver’s eyes turn and work soundlessly, having to be coorused by Elspeth herself to respond. 

Oliver was a stark difference from Felix’s past pets, brought to the household each summer for the entertainment of all. You observe him thoroughly, without shame. Nobody would question you anyway, especially the Catton children. The food chain of the bloodline stands unquestioned with Felix toppling all competition. But you were there first, and the force of that power still stands. 

All that you knew was that Oliver would be at the very bottom. A stark, white rabbit amongst the lions and wolves. The sheep's clothing they wear? Deteriorated. 

And you’d die for a chance to snap your jaws around his neck.

Even though you were barely a decade older compared to the other descendants of the Catton name, your tastes in sexuality had simmered. You have had your fair share of flings, basking in sensual attention like how your younger relatives are receiving nowadays. 

You’ve made the stark assumption that only a few strains of men and woman could cause that familiar warmth to unfurl within the depths of her core. But you were solely mistaken, as the cobalt hues of Oliver Quick met yours. They withheld the sweetest traces of caramel that caused something to stir. Something that caused the top of your bare thighs to squeeze together absentmindedly.

Oliver’s once-pinkened cheeks redden once again. He was the first to look away.

Run, bunny, run. The words bounce around your skull aimlessly, as if the density of your head were hollow. Your only set intention was the young man across the cherry-wood table, and how your lips curl upward at the thought. 

An unmistakable atmosphere of tension ridged itself between the two. Unmistakeable enough for Oliver to virtually scramble from his chair with a lowly hinged creak as soon as the black-tie dinner was to be dismissed, disappearing into the estate’s foyer without another word. In the process, silencing the remainder of the table as they escape the metaphorical weight of their chairs.

‘Someone had to go.’ Farleigh snarks, expression feigning boredom.

Elspeth offers a scoff in turn, though the weariness of her hues twinkle with stuffed amusement. ‘Don’t be silly, Farleigh.’

On the other hand, Felix’s brow wrinkles. You tune out the roar of masculine voices and a battle of ego as the two relatives bicker over the treatment of their guests. The hypocritical bounds and leaps of their voices were enough for your meal of fancy, fickle steak and fluffy, mashed potatoes to churn in your stomach.

As much as Felix preaches for his adoration of Oliver Quick, the entire household – even the thinness of the estate walls – knows that he’s only a temporary fix to his hunger for the disadvantaged. Viewing himself as a saint, veiling the sin that reverberated inside. Even Felix is willing to slip unsavory words about Oliver’s history before their friendship, especially his mother’s drug addiction. 

You shortly realized you were the only one who hadn’t uttered a single word about Oliver. Yet, at least.  You were the only person under the Catton's roof. You’ve maintained formality, and politeness in the scarce cases of passing the salt along the length of the table. But there was nothing polite in the way the relentless azure of his eyes bored into your own, obstructing every value and moral you’ve ever known.

They always said curiosity would eventually kill the cat. The claws of your nails threaten to dig into the hitch of your thigh, deep to the point of drawn blood.

You needed to know about him.

The soles of your crimson-sheathed heels click against the top of the blemishless floorings. The space between your shoulder blades bur without missing a beat, bound to be from the hawk-eyes of Elspeth Catton and her descendants that followed. Nevertheless, you push past the judgment and persevere forward toward the same foyer Oliver had vanished into.

The double-storied entrance room was as grand as the rest of the estate. Dark 

strains of oak are the main attraction, revealing the old-money origins of Saltburn. Jars of incense sticks decorate the occasional corner, the passionate white musk filling the atmosphere, tickling the back of your throat as you inhale.

The peace-brimming silence is sliced with a stressed rummaging from the door placed offside, shielded behind the wood-trimmed stairway. You prided yourself on minding your own business, but you couldn’t help but shuffle a tad closer. Enough to catch a glimpse of a singular bead of light, trickling out of the gap the door had made.

You cursed the thrum of your heels as you ventured closer. Hand strained against the top of the engraved door, sending strained words to the universe as you threaten to inch it wider and wider open.

All that secrecy disappeared from your body at the sight of Oliver Quick. It took you a few, prolonged seconds to recognize the young man amid the shadows. The sight of his scruffy, pale knees pressed against the ground. A crown of wavy, brunette locks shielded the focused curve of his eye as he rummaged through something. You couldn’t help it, fingers curling to widen the door a little more.

Creak.

Nothing could prepare you for what you witnessed before you. Even the panicked alarm that flares in the cobalt of Oliver’s hues goes ignored as he virtually snaps his head toward you. Amid his hands, various Catton heirlooms have gone untouched. Useless to some, priceless to others, and you guessed Oliver had made his mark on that.

‘What in the world are you doing with Aunty Start’s Apollo earrings?’

The words escaped you in a rush. Who knew that that your snow-white, innocent bunny had nefarious means within the Catton family? You exaggerate aunty’s last name, a slight teetering edge of glee trickling into you at the sight of grieving recognition that filled Oliver’s eyes.

 You stepped fully into the doorway.

‘I wonder what Farleigh would think about that.’

Oliver didn’t take the threat lightly, notable by the slight shake in his voice. “You wouldn’t.” He insisted. His hands scrambled, and the box propped between his fingers slipped and clattered across the oak of the storage room’s grounding.

The sole of your heel slams against the bottom of the door, widening it entirely. You entered the room with a click of the underside of your shoes, reverberating throughout the suddenly too-cold, too-hollow room you found yourself in. The only sense of illumination is the light from the foyer, trickling into the suddenly too-compact expanse.

You crouched down. Knees hitting the base of the flooring similarly to Oliver’s own, barely a foot or two away. You could hear the tameness of his breaths. The sharp, panicked gasps and swallows that only made your lips twist upward. The threat was there, looming over Oliver’s head, choking him by the throat.

‘Maybe I will. Maybe I won’t. You decide, Ollie.’

‘How–’

The length of your fingers curled around the curve of his cheeks, pressed into the slight hollowness that would follow. Silencing him in turn. The splinters of illumination from the doorway behind them manage to offer an iridescent glow toward the plumpness of Oliver’s lips as you squeeze half of his alluring face. 

You hadn’t expected the first, proper interactions with Oliver Quick to wind up in his manner. But you have no intention to stop. The fashion in which his eyes bore into your own, gaze hawk-like as he stared down at you. Eyelashes fluttering. Pupils dilated.

A wave of awareness rolled through you at the sight. Those same splinters of warmth unfurled in the base of your abdomen.

‘What are you doing here, Oliver?’

Your digits eased around the sides of his face to allow him to speak. The cheeks you once grappled somewhat pinkened once more, face glowing under your undivided attention.

Oliver’s breaths grew slower and slower. As if your touch drunken him.

‘Felix invited me,’ his words were borderlining a whine, scrambling to explain himself. ‘For the summer.’

The base of your eyebrows drew together darkly. The amusement reverberating in your eyes dissolved into a slight annoyance. Your fingers traveled toward the curve of his chin, taking it into your possession in a rough matter it sends Oliver’s eyes to rounden in response. He was a sick, sick liar.

He corrected himself, in seconds. ‘For revenge.’

‘Revenge?’

Despite your concentration, you hadn’t realized the lack of distance placed between you and Oliver. The proximity is intoxicating. To the point in which you felt the soft exhale of his breath fan across the form of your painted lips. His scent disturbed the twist of white musk and dust in the air, catching you off guard.

You dipped your head further upward. A single breath away from his own. 

Oliver’s words scrambled from his parted lips, each syllable trembling. ‘Revenge.’ He confirmed with a singular breath.

That singular breath that was virtually snatched away from him as you captured those plump lips with your own. A warm hum of pleasure buzzes throughout your body, sensations setting your nerves on fire as your mouth brushes across his.

You retreated into yourself momentarily. Ears perked up as Oliver drew in a sharp intake of breath, eyes half-lidded and glazed over with a glimmer of euphoria. He inched forward. A small movement that confirmed the lust that sparks behind his hues. 

Honeyed heat circulated throughout your body as your lips locked with his own. Threads of that same heat were found within each movement of their mouths. Your cheeks burnt with stuffled anticipation. 

A soft, strangled noise reverberates toward the back of Oliver’s throat as your hands enter the proximity of his caramel-like locks. Soft to the touch, feathery. The pads of your fingers curled against his scalp. Curling. Tugging. Kisses growing with heat and passion, further and further until Oliver was a mess between your two palms.

Oliver virtually whined as you pulled away. The lipstick you had carefully applied the hour prior smeared across the edge of your oh-so-swollen lips.

The pad of your thumb ran across the form of your mouth, the crimson red dirting the length of her digit. She pulled a single finger along Oliver’s lips, smearing the remnants of the lipstick.

‘And what are you doing with my family’s heirlooms?’ You inquired, words soft with sensuality. Masking it with a casualty as you press onward. Thumb pressed immensely into the dimple of his cheek, ruddiness staining the ivory of his skin.

Oliver leaned into her touch. ‘I was just curious, that’s all.’

You knew that there was a nefarious nature in his intentions. You removed your hand entirely and raised to your feet on two heels. The sound of your soles meeting the oak floor echoes out, bouncing against the walls as you approach an ancient, traditional desk. Draped with a translucent cover. It was considered to be as old as the estate itself, yet you had no problem sitting all over it. 

Oliver watched in the process. Eyes rounded a remnant of a bashful doe. A spark of recognition appeared behind those eyes as you inclined a singular fingertip toward the space before you.

‘On your knees.’

You took a bound of pleasure watching as Oliver dropped before you. Those knees strained against the ground. Trickles of arousal unfolded in your abdomen, nerves set alight and anticipation fluid within you as he came eye-to-eye with the satin fabric that shielded your cunt. And it was hard to miss the stained wetness.

‘Y’know what? I don’t think Felix would be too happy if he–’

‘You can suck off my brother later, but you’re serving me now. Or everyone will know whatever betrayal you’re planning against them.’

Oliver choked back any other remaining protests. Witnessing as your undergarments rolled down your hips, down the curve of your thighs, sliding along your calves, and dangling from the top of your ankle. Exposing your womanhood entirely to him, your legs widened a little further. 

At the sight, Oliver leaned forward. Willing to comply. A foreign, almost animalistic thirst reflects in the light of his hues. Only halted by a singular palm. Your fingers propped atop the strewn locks atop his head, restraining him from reaching the wetness he yearned for. 

‘I’m gonna ask you this again, and this time you’re telling me the truth, bunny.’

Your words were slow. Diligently pronounced and purposeful with each syllable.

‘What are you doing with the heirlooms?’

‘I just need–’ His words escaped in fluent gasps. Your skin prickled as Oliver’s trembling breaths fanned your womanhood. ‘I just needed some dirt on Farleigh.’

‘Oh yeah?’

The length of a singular leg of yours gradually intertwined around Oliver’s shoulders. Your hand eased up as you nudged him closer toward you. He willfully allows you to guide him, nose practically touching the top of your mound. 

His words continued with a shuddered puff, eyes virtually glazed over.

‘Something that’ll disappoint your parents.’ Oliver dwells upon his reasonings further.

‘And Felix?’

He nods.

‘You dirty,  dirty dog.’

Those words only fuelled Oliver further. And before you could even consider knowingly degrading him once more, the searing heat of his tongue is pressed against the slickness of your folds. He works his mouth against your cunt, movements growing sloppier and sloppier as he basks in the sexual validation he receives. The length of your fingers find themselves in his hair once more, fluffed, brunette strands coddled around your fist as you squeeze your legs around him.

The pleasure that you receive from his mouth alone is indescribable. Honeyed, warm ecstasy maneuvers throughout you. That familiar space between your thighs aches, even as Oliver’s lips latch onto them. Merely fuelling the fire that runs hot underneath your skin, alighting your nerves on fire.

“Fuck…” You can feel him grin around you.

A finger shortly accompanies the consumption of his tongue. And Oliver’s fingers are undeniably long, pale fleshed worked down to the knuckle with the force of a few pumps. He adds another. Then another. Stealing a moan or two from the depths of your throat, forcing you to clamp your lips shut. If anyone walked in. Your cheeks burn at the thought.

You bucked your hips into his fingers as Oliver worked you open, curling into you without faltering. Plunging his digits into you, again and again until you were breathless. Calves curled around him, guiding him further and further toward your sensitivities. Welcoming his mouth back onto you once more.

Oliver’s lips latched longingly onto the little pearl lining your entrance. He murmurs sweet nothings into you, fingers easing their pace until you can only hear the subtle quickness of your heaving breaths. And his whispers. Whispers of how wet you are, and how much he longs to quench that thirst. Again and again. On his knees, basked in his most vulnerable state.

Just for you. Oliver both in time, curls his fingers and squeezes your bud. Unleashing a wave of fire that takes you by the throat, walls squeezing around the length as you come undone. Shockwaves virtually gripping you. Tremors guide you back from your high as both grunts and moans of approval escape you.

Oliver glows under the attention. He peers up at you, through the intensity of his thick lashes. Doe eyes blinking occasionally, innocently, as he pops those fingers into his mouth where he once tasted you. Suckling. Tongue flittering around the pad of his digits.

‘You’ve done that before, haven’t you?’ Your words were more of a statement than an assumption. The pulsing of your newfound arousal doesn’t show in the slightest, only glimmering behind the intensity of your eyes.  You weren’t done with your bunny, not yet anyway.

Oliver’s fingers escape his lips with a reverberating pop. ‘Yes, ma’am.’

You reach downward briefly. Taking the lace of your panties with a single hand, guiding the garment around the base of your heels. Abandoning them on the dust-soaked floor. Those same heels meet that same grounding.

‘I didn’t take you for a fuckboy, bunny.” You practically spit, taking pride in how his eyes wobble slightly at the force of your filthy, filthy words. A short snap fills the room as you indicate your hand towards the oak tiles. 

‘On the floor.’

Oliver doesn’t say anything less, finding his body sprawled out before you. Essentially submitting himself to you in the process, something that ignites that oh-so-familiar heat in the pit of your belly. You stand over him, relinquishing in how he stares up at you, willing for you to do anything to him.

‘Pants off.’ Your words are snappy and insistent. You almost feel like that spoiled little one you used to be as a child, one who would get anything you would desire. ‘You don’t need them.’

Oliver’s fingers work to untangle his belt, loosening the dark fabric of his pants.  The material rolls down his hips, his hardness is immensely visible through the thinness of his boxers. The bulge accompanying the arousal that burns throughout your entire body, abdomen unfurling with that oh-so-familiar heat. 

You drop down toward him, legs clamped down on either side of Oliver’s thighs. You are squeezing them somewhat. The curve of your palm cups the fabriced nature of his manhood, causing a soft moan to escape him. 

‘[Y/N]...’ The broadness of Oliver’s hands grapple the frame of your hips, the warmth of his fingers curling around you. He virtually buckles up into you, against your bareness. A motion that causes your lips to curl up into a lazy smirk. 

‘Repeat my name, bunny.’ The pad of your fingers tease the rim of his boxers.

Oliver’s breath shudders. ‘I’m begging, [Y/N].’

A gradual, mocking roll of your eyes overtakes you nevertheless as you tug the thick material down. They roll and crinkle along the bottom of Oliver’s thighs, allowing for him to spring out for full reveality. For you and you alone. A low whistle fills the emptiness of the room as you observe his girth. Oliver is virtually trembling under the intensity of your gaze as you curl a fist around the length of his shaft, taking delight in how he buckled into you.

‘Be patient now.’ The words escape you with a scoff as you feign annoyance.

Oliver quietens in your demand. Alas, as you position yourself above him, you can still hear the raspiness of his breaths and the pleasure you take in the stink of desperation high in the air. He buries himself into you with a singular thrust, merely forcing a soft groan at the initial discomfort at he fills you. Stretches you out. Your hips slap against his own as you buckle up and down across his length, Oliver mimicking your movements to a tee.

You arch into him, soft noises of pleasure escaping you as he manages to claw ecstasy from you with every singular thrust. Your inner walls clutched around him, causing Oliver to drop his head back, gasping your name out as if it were a prayer. As if he were on the verge of life and death.

‘[Y/N]?’

‘Yes?’

It’s odd how the two of you presented the conversation as if you weren’t rutting your entire life and soul into him. Onto him. Oliver continues to writhe around some more, arching himself into you, again and again. The whiteness of his cheeks is notably flushed with arousal.

‘I’m about to –’

You slow down your pace until you’re merely mounting him, the lack of movement causing a groan of sexual frustration to claw from Oliver’s throat. The side of your thighs squeezes around his hips for extra exaggeration as you proceed to speak, merely unphased, even as you are reaching your release.

‘Jesus, Ollie, don’t be so fuckin’ greedy.’

You scold through hitched breath and hushed moans. His girth is warm inside you, and something about that is so utterly pleasing.

‘You aren’t to come unless you’ve pleased me enough.’

The demand causes Oliver’s head to loll back with esteemed annoyance, but he doesn’t say anything. It merely prompts the width of his hands to press into your hips, beginning to rock himself into you. It steals a moan out of your lips, but the sight of his desperation is a sight of see indeed. You arch further into him as he ruts against the exact spot that causes you to see stars.

The length of your hand folds around the back of his neck. ‘Right there, bunny, oh, you fuckin’ beast!’

Closer now. Closer now.

‘Say my name, [Y/N].’ Oliver heaves with strained breath, holding back on his orgasm has done numbers on him.

You wack him across the back of the head.

‘That’s my line, dickhead.’

Alas, the words barely escape your lips as the boiling and bubbling dam within you snaps and crashes. You dissolved into nothing but pure pleasure. Nevertheless, whatever you had said, Oliver’s name played on your lips in something that bordered screams. Tremors of ecstasy fill you as Oliver continues to pound into you, guiding you throughout your orgasm in your most vulnerable moment.

Aftershocks spark within you as you go limp, pulling yourself together with heaved breath and glazed eyes.

‘Have I pleased you enough, then?’

Oliver’s voice is hoarse, tearing you out of your orgasm-fuelled trance.

‘It’ll do, bunny.’

But before, Oliver can even consider his release. You rise from your previous position, his girth sliding out of you with ease, glistening with your slick. You tug the fabric of panties around your hips and back in place, glancing in a dust-covered mirror as you adjust your appearance. To make it seem as if you haven’t spent the past half hour having the life sucked out of you.

‘[Y/N] –’

Oliver’s protests rise in the air, falling upon deaf ears as you proceed to exit the room itself. The bottom of your heels thud against the wood-slicked tiles as you reenter the dining room, hope in hand. Your wordless wishes are fulfilled at once at the sight of Farleigh, who is window-watching, wine in hand.

‘Farleigh, thank God, I found you.’

Farleigh turns his head, bringing his glass to his lips.

‘What now?’ He’s waving away your presence entirely, it is clear.

As much as you despise this half of the family, you maintain a clear mind.

‘Oliver was rummaging through your mother’s heirlooms. I suggest you go, now. Heed my warning or not, I don’t care.’

A look of suspicion flashes across Farleigh’s face. His lips part momentarily in question before he thinks otherwise. Smart boy. Setting his wine down and immediately dashing past you. A yell or two sounds out a moment later, and your painted lips quirk upwards in pleasure.

You knew what Oliver was up to. It was clear from the first day you laid eyes upon the household’s guest. But no. It wasn’t up to Oliver to wipe out the Cattons from existence, even though he’d be doing the filthy work for you. It was admirable yes.

But it was your job. A job you strived to complete.

You slip your hand into the slight pocket in the fabric of your dress. Pulling out a small capsule. Your eyes narrow down on the glass of wine, vacant on the table. 

Starting with Farleigh. 

WORD COUNT: 4K MASTERLIST REQ ME!

[barely-coherent]

I'm having baby fever so here

OBEY ME BROTHERS AND WHAT SEX THEIR KIDS ARE

(Obligatory sex and gender are not the same thing, okay thanks)

Lucifer

Girl dad 100%

And be would spoil her so much

Are you kidding?

Diavolo would also be obsessed with her

"Lord Diavolo, can I please have my daughter back?"

"But she's so precious!!"

Anyway, she grows up thinking Diavolo is her uncle

Probably calls him "Uncle Dia"

Mammon

First of all, Tumblr give us yellow text, dammit

Also a girl dad

He just screams girl dad to me

He would be the most emotional out of the dads if I'm being honest

He would probably start sobbing on their first day of school

He would almost definitely ask some of his crows to keep an eye on her

Y'know what, she brings one of his crows for show and tell

"This is my dad's bird and he brings me things sometimes."

Leviathan

Boy dad

They play video games together

IM NOT SAYING GIRLS CAN'T PLAY VIDEO GAMES

Levi would absolutely not tolerate any girls going through that "Omg, Je//an Kirs//tein is my son and my husband"

He would immediately be like "Him? Oh my god, disowned."

I'm joking, I love Jean, I just had that phase and I cringe at it

They would do duo cosplays

OH MY GOD FAMILY COSPLAYS

Like Aiz//awa and Shin//sou oh my god

Satan

He could go either way

Actually, he has twins

One girl, one boy

He gave them cat pajamas

He also reads them bedtimes stories

He has like a million books, there's a couple kids books somewhere

If there aren't, it gave him an excuse for more books

Oh my god, he would read while rocking a baby to sleep

Asmodeous

Again, he feels like a girl dad

BUT IF IT WAS A BOY

You know that guy at your school that everyone wanted to date?

Yeah, that's his son

Or like the girl that even the straight girls would entertain the thought of?

You know where this is going

But his daughter would be the cutest little girl, dear lord

"We should do a face mask!"

"Asmo, she's gonna eat the face mask. Kids put everything in their mouths."

He pouts for a bit but it's okay

He loves using the really soft scented baby lotion and shampoo

He's obsessed with how soft their skin is

Beelzebub

Girl dad

AND IM SAYING THIS FOR MY PLUS SIZE BADDIES

HE WOULD NOT CARE

Like his daughter comes home all sad

"What's wrong?"

"These girls were calling me fat"

The next day and like

"Those girls apologized!"

"How strange!"

Please tell him to stop threatening children

Belphegor

He doesn't really strike me as either...

So either, just like Satan

But they would nap together 100%

And he's actually pretty okay

I feel like be would actually be a really good dad

"I had a nightmare"

"Go back to sleep, I'll protect you from nightmares."

And he does!

I feel like he can do like dream magic

Makes sure they only have good dreams