#im dating that girl but i don't know if she dates me | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

isuggestforcefem · 4 hours ago

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started dating a cute twink, who ive known for about three years prior to this. he currently uses he him so thats what im going for for now... i'm a trans woman, having had socially transitioned since 2020 and being on estrogen since april. anyway i didnt have feelings for him until this summer, when i started, like, sensing something. i wasn't sure what it was, but now i'm completely certain that it's the feelings he has for me, his totally being an egg that hasn't cracked yet, some latent undiscovered potential of spirit, or a mixture of the three. we've been getting closer and closer to each other over time, moving into a massive grey area that I decided to turn into a completely certain, yes-we-are-a-thing. I'm bisexual leaning heavily toward women, you see, but i thought i'd make an allowance this time. today we went on a fantastic date, and i gave him what i suspect was his first kiss. the energy is still electric now that he's gone.

not what this is about, though. you see, as i've got closer to this person i've gradually understood that there's something extremely transgender going on with him- at least, as far as i can intuit. Over a year ago, I brought up the days when i was just questioning to another transgender friend, and he just sorta piped up, said "i've thought about it," and completely refused to elaborate. i still remembered that and i thought that our first date would be a nice time to discuss it- that flustered him real good, but he did mention that he perchance probably maybe might be transfem, but he's got school, so...

of course, the thing about girls like her is it's *never* the right time.

but whatever. i laid off, but intermittently i did what i do best and joked about him being transgender, and you know what? he never denied it, or confirmed it. he just stayed in that space between acceptance and denial, blushed and laughing. we're a relationship of comfort, you know? it's *comfortable* being around each other. it's *comfortable* not choosing trans or cis, just letting time pass. but god, i don't know, i want more for her! he's a sweet, adorable person now, but i know there's something inside him that's just so much more than this. i want it to get out. i want her to get out.

but the more i think about it the murkier it gets. he's so into me- do i hold the power here? is it better to wait for him to walk into womanhood, or should i be more active in encouraging him? i know i'm right, but what if i'm not, am i going to cause him dysphoria down the line? am i afraid of being a predator here because of internalized transmisogyny? am i overthinking this, should i just let it happen? for the record, he *does* seem to totally enjoy being a femboy- granted, that could go either way.

i've penned you an entire novel here, i recognize that and if you don't want to read this through or advise me that's just fine. if you'd like, you can leave this message out for your follower base or just save it in your inbox forever. but- i would LOVE your advice, ms forcefem. i do believe you're the one person to ask who would understand my position the best. thank you!

You should gently push her, help her down that path, make sure she feels safe to explore it! Girls like that will invent all sort of excuses to stay in denial, and you have to show her what she could have, the joy!

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abluebirdsseaview · 19 hours ago

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All New part 3

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Part 1

Part 2

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A/n: sorry for the wait, and I hope everyone has had a amazing Thanksgiving (if you celebrate)

This is a longer chapter to make up for the wait

Please reblog, like, comment

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Text messages

You

Heyyyy

I had a really good time tonight

Would love to go out again

But like only if you want to

Drew

I would want nothing more

You looked beautiful tonight

You

Awww thank youuuu

You clean up nice

Drew

You got me blushing

Can't wait to see you again

Text messages with Mads

You

MADELINEEEE

The night was perfect and so is he

Mads

Awwww that's so sweet

My two favs are going to fall in loveee

You

Don't jinx it

I'm just scared about going out

I don't want any drama bc most of my fans are really defensive of tom

And like if I move on fast, people are going to be pissed

Mads

I know you love being chronically online

But you have healed and like the people in your life knows what Tom did to you

You deserve to be happy and not fearful of the public

You

True

I'm still going to try to keep drew and I private especially since this was only a first date

Okay I gtg but ilyyyyy

Mads

Love you more

-----------------

A couple days later

Instagram

tomblyth

Liked by 327,918 users

tomblyth loml

12k comments

User1 well this is certainly a development !

User2 they way I thought I had a chance after the y/n breakup 😔

User3 I just know y/n's gc is going crazy

hole4drewstarkey

Liked by yourinstagram, drewstarkey, and 5,279 other users

hole4drewstarkey drew was asked on the Jimmy Kimmel show if he was open to dating and he blushed and answered definitely WHO IS THE GJRL DREWWWW WHO IS SHEE AND WHY NOT MEEEEEEEEE PLEASEES PLEAK

159 comments

User1 it's me, sorry guys

>user2 me when I'm manifesting

User2 DREW LIKED

>user3 so did y/n.... hmmm

User4 he is so sexyyyy

Instagram DM's

Yourinstagram sent hole4drewstarkey's post

Hmmm open to dating...

Good to know

drewstarkey

Yeah went on a date with a really cool girl last week

Yourinstagram

Lucky girl

drewstarkey

Hold up I just saw the user name and im dying

HOLE4DREWSTARKEY???? killer name

Yourinstagram

I love fan accounts

I started following this one #number1drewstarkeyfan

drewstarkey

Liked by 863,187

drewstarkey missing new york

9k comments

hole4drewstarkey who is behind the camera drew 🤬

>drewstarkey it's a secret

>hole4drewstarkey WTF YOU REPLIED

User1 I'm obsessed with the jacket

User2 thats bae

Madelinecline new york seems to be very popular...

Yourinstagram his favorite drink is a shirley temple btw

>drewstarkey this is confidential information and how dare you release it

Sabrinacarpenter

Liked by 1,278,492 users

sabrinacarpenter the girls are scheming @/yourinstagram

27k comments

Yourinstagram it's killing me to keep this a secret

User1 WHAT IS ITTT5

User2 these queens

Madelinecline the fur coats? I'm obsessed

Yourinstagram

Liked by 973,992 users

Yourinstagram in the city

8k comments

Madelinecline hmmm the fourth pic...

>user1 I feel like Madeline knows things we dont...

User1 the guy in the back of the fourth pic

User2 she's so hot omlllll

Sabrinacarpenter can we try some freaky positions

>yourinstagram how do you feel about wheelbarrow

>sabrinacarpenter yessss 😫

Drewstarkey fire caption

>yourinstagram a genius came up with it

-----------------

Hi friends! If you have any ideas for blurbs or even new concepts, send them in I would love to write them!

Don't forget to like AND reblog

Taglist:

@mads-writes-vibes @xcinnamonmalfoyx @frankoceanluvr11 @willowpains @rafecameronsfan @mytimeiswaiting @aariahnaa @girl-detective16 @mrsjamespotterr @thepopcultureaddict @purplerose291

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httpcallumturner · 2 days ago

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The One with the Mystery Girl

pairing: Callum Turner x fem!reader

summary: the one where callum turner is spotted having dinner with a mysterious girl, sparking rumors and speculation as fans try to uncover her identity and truth behind their relationship

fc: dua lipa

instagram

CallumTurnerNews made a new post!

liked by DailyGossip, ynsbsf, and 16,589 others

CallumTurnerNews Callum Turner spotted out in London, enjoying a low-key dinner with a mystery woman 🤔💫. Who’s she? Is this the start of a new romance, or just a friendly dinner? #CallumTurner #CelebritySighting #WhoIsShe

view all 3,457 comments

callumfan1 callum who is she ????

callumfan2 maybe lets not invade his privacy...!!!🙃

↳ callumfan yeah, clearly he's not ready to make his relationship public

callumfan3 aww stop he looks so in love i canttt

↳ callumfan4 i'm trying to be happy but he's suppose to me mine 💔

↳ callumfan6 same girl

ynsbsf i think i've seen her before...but not sure where...��‍♀️

↳ yourusername same

callumfan7 at least she's pretty

↳ ynsbsf true

twitter

instagram

yourusername made a new post!🔒

liked by keoghan92, kaiagerber, and 873 others

yourusername good food, even better company

view all 437 comments

ynsbsf LOL UR TRENDING ON TWITTER

↳ yourusername LEAVE ME ALONE !!

keoghan92 thanks for the invite

↳ yourusername ur welcome :) tell sab to take u

↳ sabrinacarpenter im okay thxs

austinbutler sushiiiii

kaiagerber lets hang out!!!!!!!!

↳ austinbutler double date?

↳ yourusername um no just me and kaia...

sabrinacarpenter STUNNING !!!

↳ yourusername i love u💖💖💖

ynsfriend1 yall r so cute

liked by yourusername

DailyGossip made a new post!

liked by CallumTurnerNews, kaiagerber, and 19,649 others

DailyGossip caught on camera: Callum Turner and his rumored girlfriend spotted out and about in London with Austin Butler and Kaia Gerber. Looks like a double date ! 🍽️💫 #CelebritySighting #LondonDayOut #Who’sThatGirl

view all 4,439 comments

callumfan1 okay, but who is she?😳

callumfan2 i love how in love callum looks. but seriously, who's the girl?

callumfan3 she could just be a friend!!!

↳ callumfan4 girl they are literally dating he was caught kissing her 🙃

callumfan5 callum is keeping his relationship private again 😪

↳ callumfan6 HE NEEDS TO MAKE AN INSTA ACCOUTN ASAP

austinbutlerfan1 austin and kaia look adorable together 😍

theinsider austin and kaia: couple goals. Callum and mystery girl: what’s the story there? 👀

CallumTurnerNews y’all think she’s a random girl or is she someone we should know? I have my theories…😆

kaiagerberfan1 KAIA I SEE U TELL US WHO SHE IS

liked by kaiagerber

austinbutler made a new post!

liked by yourusername, kaiagerber, and 303,875 others

austinbutler had a nice time with the people i love

view all 2,035 comments

kaiagerber best double date

yourusername who's the guy on the left??!! he's cute

CallumTurnerNews looks like he and callum had a double date with their gf's

↳ austinbutlerfan1 how do you know?

↳ austinbutlerfan2 DailyGossip made a post on insta and they're wearing the same outfits

callumfan1 austin just tell us who she is

twitter

callumturner made a post!

liked by yourusername, austinbutler, and 830,764 others

callumturner love you yourusername

view all 6,964 comments

📌 yourusername love you more ❤️

callumturner liked and pinned this comment

austinbutler don't get too close yourusername

↳ yourusername he's mine !

kaiagerber cuties

sabrinacarpenter awww

keoghan92 my man

gracieabrams 🥺🥺🥺

callumfan1 i'm jealous !!

callumfan2 STOP HIS FIRST POST IS HIM AND HIS GF I CANTT

↳ callumfan3 STOP THATS SO CUTEEEE

callumfan3 so this is the mystery girl

callumfan4 he's only following her omggg

callumfan5 OMG HE FINALLY GOT INSTA

comments on this post have been limited.

authors note:

so i hope you guys liked it 😭😭its my first time ever doing an SMAU type of thing so hopefully its okay!! lmk what you guys wanna see or what I should do better on (i really tried 😭) i wanna do another one but idk what it should be abt so please give me ideas!!! also i lowkey wanna do another part to this but idk if u should

#callum turner #callum turner x reader #callum turner fanfic #callum turner x you #callum turner imagine #callum turner fanfiction #callum turner x y/n #dua lipa #austin butler #kaia gerber #httpcallumturner #callumturnersmau

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laramcelino · 7 months ago

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The current state of Nalu is Natsu relating to "Mina do condomínio" by Seu Jorge, and Lucy just thinking the song is cool...

#fairy tail #lucy heartfilia #natsu dragneel #nalu #fairy tail 100 years quest #ft nalu #fanart #im brazilian and i aprove this message #go listen the song is very good #is basically #im dating that girl but i don't know if she dates me

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tankgotstuckinthecircusgate · 4 months ago

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i know that when carlo suddenly decided that he needs to marry guy made a whole list in his head n like had a deadlines n shit. like it was some kind of a task he needed to do

#whole fkin campaign. idk still not sure how it was but man was in his peacock era for sure #n it's like i need to find a wife i need to make it in 2 (or whatever) months etc etc #but its like a bg task n he didn't speak bout it w others. like he just said that he needs to marry #also idk if i mentioned this but i wrote lauretta/carlo first meet long ago n she was w her fiance #i just listened to “pretty music” again sorry. i like that uh governor or tf this character is #changes his behaviour from one woman to another so real. n that fkin “but im a lucky guy who gets to dance w u”#and “since u know what i need i'll even take your lead” <- fr like im sure lauretta screwed him for several times #just to see if he's really serious good old manipulations w men nothing new nothing superstitious #upd. he probably made a mind budget for this (i mean finding a wife)#n bout lauretta screwing carlo its like in this ukranian song Ти ж мене пiдманула ти ж мене пiдвела #but since he's a strategist he's patient (like i wanted to accent this quality sm i wrote #that carlo started thinkin bout taking moretti's place back in 1932)#anyway. “Challenge accepted” situation and idk fr for some reason when it's carlo eddie lauretta it's always bout playing #so lauretta started playing n he entered this play too. i don't even think he was exactly mad (maybe only for the 1st time)#at this point i have a clear image of how they met n their first dates (cringe word) n how he proposed #ie how it started how it ended. ending was fast i believe (deadline is approaching 🤯)#what was in between i don't exactly know but i wondered just now if he also screwed lauretta (i think yes)#bc i don't knooowwww frrr all this is so bout playing to me #but bout ending its like. boss fight (<- sex) game credits (<- marriage) ((speedrun))#also i was thinkin if he even ever met lauretta's parents (i always thought that no but idk)#can imagine lauretta calling carlo a good friend. i also hm ok #i started to write a comic like a month ago just bout falcone polycule n it starts w #carlo who says that he finally needs to get married n lauretta's mother askin (in a pushing way) why #her n her fiance still aren't married like girl tf. she jinxed it i guess #upd. carlo/lauretta is funny in my head bc right before marriage he did fell in love lauretta didn't but guy's profitable we'll take him👍#she did only after marriage i think bc it was the time when u can finally relief bc it's over #u don't need to think bout no yes no no yes yes will it work or won't etc #woman was able to fucking chill at last. she got the money sorry i mean the man #he's not runnin away let's finally look who the fuck is even this man. why he won't shut up bout astronomy can i get a divorce <- jk #but yeah “я тобi брехала” is so lauretta right after marriage to me (“i dont even know the color of ur hair”)

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loverboybrightsideghost · 5 days ago

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"reblog for something lgbt to happen to you" at this point i'd be grateful if something straight happened to me

#bluebird.txt #i'd love to stop feeling like an unlikeable freak!!!#i get it i'm gay i look at least like a lesbian and at queerest as Some Thing I'm Not Sure How to Gender #but like. damn bro!#not even anyone? at all?#first of all i get no attention from girls and there's barely any thems (and im friends with most of the thems)#secondly not that i want the attention of cishet men but as i said before i'll take fucking anything to feel something #the most i get from cishet men has been laughing when i run because im late to class or a concert #like okay wow you find someone just running funny? i pity your entire brain #i think im just bored #its not like i understand romantic stuff any more really #i understand it on a logical level i think #but tell me why when i find a girl i have a huge crush on the SECOND i just need out platonically with someone else #the girl evaporates from my brain #and when i make the attempt to put myself out there and be like hey wanna go on a date?#all will to actually go on the date also evaporates?#she hasn't answered and that's an answer so im like alright even if you texted me late i actually do not care if i never see you again #not in a malicious way!!! just in a very bland you have not made a meaningful impact on my life way even though you seem cool!#which doesn't sound much better but trust me i mean these factually objectively not personally meanly #i have other friends mostly cis friends who have gotten guys after them and as much as like most of those guys are at best #a little annoying and at worst sort of creeps #like. THAT'S NEVER HAPPENED TO ME EITHER!!!#when i walk alone on campus esp when it's dark i do worry about assault and rape and stuff #but that's just the statistics and stuff #i know i'm not immune but in a weird way not being liked by anyone at all gives me reassurance that well #at least i'll probably never be assaulted at least not any time soon bc no one's ever looked at this (me) and had any kinds of #attracted thoughts #though that's definitely a false sense of security #after all someone could decide they hate transgenders and gender ambiguous people and assault me of course that could always happen!#i don't think it's likely to but. you never know!

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transbee · 2 months ago

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I know situationship is a word we love to use to describe many messy relationships but my goddd. Whatever Lucrecia and Vincent had going on was the most situationship to ever situation.

#their asses were not dating they were barely colleagues and didn't even work that closely together for a while #she worked with his DAD and then he DIED.#IN FRONT OF HER.#can you IMAGINE #walking into work one day and your boss goes here's the new guy i transferred into your department. and it's your dead beloved mentors SON.#i don't blame her for avoiding him #AND HIS ASS WAS OBSESSED WITH HER!!!#cut to a couple months later and they're semi-secretly privately meeting on the regular #i say semi bc i dont think they ever actively hid what they had but also never spoke about it.#what did they have?#who knows.#i don't.#cut to ANOTHER few months later and she's pregnant and is gonna experiment on the embryo...girl #lucrecias Dubious Morality and the way vince views her through rose tinted glasses is a verrry interesting dynamic to me #uhhgggg #ok im done. every few weeks i have to feel crazy emotions about these two and imagine scenarios #.txt #ff7 posting

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miraclemaya · 3 months ago

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i don't know why im so obsessed with chisato lately, i just feel like she gets it (insane)

#i mean so does sayo tbh #this is maya's insane head canon corner but i feel like both of them probably feel like a lot of their desires are inherently bad you know #for different reasons of course #but in effect i really can't imagine chisato as someone who could like go on a date with a girl without like deeply examining herself #and trying to figure out how she's the monster you know #and sayo is like omg sayo has so much going on #she probably is like half i don't deserve anything and half i deserve everything #in a non sayohina scenario how do you think sayo would react to hina getting a girlfriend first because like #idk it would be crazy inside her mind especially if it's someone sayo likes right which i could totally see hina not realizing #and then herself feeling like absolutely garbage for hurting her sister again when she kind of didn't do anything wrong #ah this ran away from me idk #in a sayohina context things would also be insane but there are more qualified users out there to talk about it #im not really much of a sayohina shipper cause i think they should like be miserable forever and constantly step on eachothers toes #like metaphorically i mean

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kuromi-hoemie · 11 months ago

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im a top leaning switch but being an angelic sweet sweet pisces has me fighting the bottom allegations and losing

#this is so funny. yeah i talk cute but if i know ur into me and we're hanging out in person it's a little Different 💅🏾#i also bottompost a lot more bc it's more well received/less embarrassing than top posting lmao #im so picky about tops.. i don't think i even like tops like that tbh like my perfect matchup is a switch bottom #and just ppl who r switches in general.. mm I've kinda always dated bottoms 😐 which is fine y'all r sweet precious angels and #i will hold u and cherish u and take care of u it is truly a joy BUT.... sometimes a girl wants to get railed yk?#sometimes i wanna look up at someone who's a little to excited to do something to me. i wanna fight for dominance sometimes etc #u ask a bottom to top and 😭😮‍💨 i don't like always being on the giving end but i myself couldn't fully be a bottom for someone either #it's so funny... i feel like subs are the ones who deserve to dom me the most as a treat ykwim.. y'all have been so good #but. ya know 😐 lmao #im not sure how many switches I've had the pleasure of hooking up with but now she's reminiscing 😵‍💫

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iftitah · 1 year ago

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.

#this girl was joking about another girl in my batch fasting on karvachauth for her boyfriend and it was the light jokes so it was okay #but then she said why is she doing it her caste is completely different from his her parents would kill her #and that how college relationships are only for time being until you're in college and you're there for each other's support #and that nothing in college couples is that serious and they may turn out just good friends in future #and there's no reason to worship your love because it's just 'casual'??!!#ive so many feelings and a little heartbreak #ive already tried thinking about future but you know it 2ould just spiral me and thinking tha ahead doesn't make sense know #logically speaking she's right that we can go through SO MANY changes during the college years and no one knows anything ahead #but idk like i love him its not just oh im in college and ive got a boyfriend to get my nights busier and go on silly pretend dates #i didn't date anyone for nineteen years because i just wouldn't date anyone #its just surprising me as well how i came here so clueless and how everything led to each other and then into us #and i don't say stuff like marriage and kids because that's too huge. just too huge right now to think off #and that's also a way of keeping myself humble #and i would love love love to think about a future too not just yet it's too quick and im okay understanding everything rather than diving #but what she said. is so um its messing with my brain #ofc im not letting it over weigh me not at least from a person who's with multiple seniors #sends all her money to her so called youtuber bf #and goes to private places with some other guy #who's in everything for casual #but i don't know what im supposed to do with it right now #playing around my head #or maybe i should just trust the process

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invisiblyvisiblejay · 1 year ago

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scale of 1 to 10 how bad of an idea is it to take an edible for the first time completely alone (i have done a little weed before but ive never been high)

#i don't know if girl im dating is going to come over #bc i offered and she was like idk rn and then hasn't said anything else lol #and i don't want to be like. gonna get high later btw bc i think she will worry abt me doing it alone #and i don't want to guilt her into coming over if she's busy / doesn't want to #sooooooooooo #she might be upset i didn't tell her if i do but also shes not my mom lmao

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funkylittlebats · 9 months ago

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#wow okay so ive been reconnecting with my friend who i previously hadn't seen or spoken to in months #and we've been chatting again for abt a month now and she came to my house univited and without warning today and we hung out #even though i really wasn't prepared for company. i decided it was a pleasant enough surprise. she brought cupcakes.#and then she tells me. a trans man. that she. a lesbian. is in love with me #and im now very uncomfortable bc i don't want to date someone who sees me as a girl. and i Know that that's the case here #bc she's said some Kinda Weird yellow flag things abt trans ppl (esp in regards to passing) that ive overlooked bc i enjoyed her company #and she starts crying on my shoulder bc she “can't believe im rejecting her bc i think shes transphobic”#and how she “thought i liked her too” bc i go along with her flirting (when she first started flirting w me i didn't pick up and she-#-made a joke abt how she likes to flirt w men bc shes gay but it looks like im too dense for that joke (said it a friendly way no really))#(so i didn't realize she was ACTUALLY flirting bc she would still do this to other guys as a joke)#and she “feels so stupid for letting herself be led on by me” and a bunch of other bullshit #and expected me to comfort her while this was going on #which i did bc i didn't know what else to do #and she decided to take THAT as a mixed signal ig and tried to pet me #so i got away from her and got her some water and asked her to leave after she calmed down #and she started crying more but eventually left #and then like an hour later i start getting texts from our friends saying they couldnt believe i was so rude to her #and thought she was a transphobe and shoved her off of me when she just needed comfort #and so now everyone is refusing to talk to me until *i* apologize to *her*#i literally only have one irl friend now bc of this #fuck this shit #and i have fucking class tomorrow #fuck #this #shit

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brainscrewz · 10 months ago

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#so i have a date tonight #like a. going to their house explicitly to make out to a movie date.#the second one this week #the person im technically with who got back with their ex without breaking up with me or talking to me at all or acknowledging #that they asked me to be with them #uhh said it's cool and they're happy for me. i am too but i am so confused and i don't know what's going on <3 #but anyway. this other girl. is awesome. and very nice to me and clear about what she wants and is attracted to me.#and it feels very nice 👍🏻 i like the feeling. i like her. i really hope things go well 🥺#good night everyone ily

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girlivealwaysbean · 2 years ago

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my sister was explaining ki unhe kaisa ladka chahiye and my mom was like mujhe toh samajh hi nahi aa rha and then she told me jokingly ki beta tu toh ladka pata ke rakhna cause agar mujhe iska samajh ni aa raha toh tera toh bilkul bhi nahi aayega AND my sister was like mummy aur progressive bano, ladka hi kyun, ladki bhi toh pata sakti hai LIKE

#it was so funny #my mom said 'aisa toh padaishi hota hai na and iska aisa thodi na hai'#she also said jaise uski friend hai *friend name* uske liye kabhi aise kuch thodi na feel hua hai #and u guys have to know how hilarious that is cause like... my sister knows (VERY MUCH IN DETAIL) abt how ive dated one of my friends that #my mom knows about and ive also kissed another one #(all girls)#she is so blissfully ignorant sometimes i wanna come out to her just to see her shocked reaction like it'll be hilarious for sure she'll #like probably go thru the five stages of grief first denial then etc etc #i love my sister tho it's sweet that she keeps on trying to bring it up so that maybe in future mom will be on my side #i don't really need her cause i have my sis she's my mom dad everything but like. it's nice to feel seen in ur own house.#also kskffjjajka mutuals im sorry but u have to put up with these stories bc i only have 1 irl friend and she's busy some times :(#mes

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witchwhaat · 2 years ago

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how am i supposed to do my assignements when there are new albums to listen to ://

#minho AND lexie liu?!!! are you kidding me!??#and i already missed the deadlines......💀 oh well #okay im gonna write at least something and then listen to lexie liu okay? okay #anyway i literally couldn't care less about uni work and it's kinda concerning ummm. like.#girl. im trying to ignore what this is so badly and it's gonna bite back ;-;#i literally feel NOTHING about uni rn. nothing.#i don't even keep up with the dates i didn't fucking know it was already the 6th today so only today i realised that i've missed #another deadline for the same subject #and like. she doesn't really care about us turning things on time but still. i didn't even realise.#okay this is turning into rambling so i'll stop #stream chase by minho stream the happy star by lexie liu thank you #agnes talking

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chaoticmunsons · 1 year ago

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i don't like to use tumblr as an outlet anymore but i really really need to vent today so just ignore this

#sometimes i really wish my brain wasn't wired to place so much value on love and interpersonal relationships #like sometimes i genuinely feel like i'm not worth anything if i'm not loved by someone #and that's so gross to think like that's so pick me #because i know i have value and worth outside of my relationships #yet i'm still so obsessed with love and so desperate to be loved #i just want to be happy and content with my life the way it is #and not place so much value in having a bf/gf #because i know i'm not even in a good enough mental state to be dating anyone right now #but there's still that little girl inside me desperate to be loved #and she just always seems to tug and tug and tug on my heartstrings and i try to ignore that ache in my chest #but it's really hard to ignore sometimes #and even when people do show me love and affection #i'm so convinced that i am unloveable the way that i am so i don't even allow it #my brain immediately rejects any kind of love or affection because i don't believe it's even possible to love someone like me #like i want love but when it's shown to me i never believe its real and genuine #fuck can i get a refund on my brain pls #anyway im fine that's all goodnight #sophia's diary entries

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