#im asking cause i predicted the existing ones so far would most if not all be white

[sea-jello]

i dont know if this has been made yet but lets make a fancast for live action ninjago drop some actors guys

[autisticlalna]

The Fourth Wall Will Not Protect You: Establishing Contact With R.C.

im being exploded from all angles but i bring news from the skyblock kingdoms discord. which is also news from fool's chat last night. WE HAVE MADE CONTACT WITH R.C.

"leo. leontids mathonwys what does that mean" IM GLAD YOU ASKED <- unhinged

after Rubyco's episode dropped yesterday, someone was curious about what was going on with the weird galactic messages. Solar and I gave an overview of what we know, which dovetailed into talking about V.P., and because im incredibly predictable i also started talking about Navigator.

normal behavior.

and then...

He is definitely someone to keep in mind.

im gonna just post some screenshots going over this part, because it got very chaotic very fast.

or, to summarize: SBKCD attempts to figure out who to yell at for being ominous.

things somehow get even more chaotic, with several others chiming in Galactic, Enderian, letter substitution ciphers, and fucking hexadecimal at one point. im gonna skip over most of it and zero in on the other message we got from R.C. during this:

leo: i was supposed to be clipping something. aces: Team L.O.R.E. Suffering continues R.C.: :) R.C.: [Suffering is not the intention]

okay! cool! awesome. R.C. making the discord explode was not part of their plan, whatever it is. more importantly hi hello what the fuck do you mean nav is someone to keep in mind

this is, somehow, not the end of it. later that night, during Fool's stream, Ruby-- or the Rubyco clone, to be more specific-- was lurking around being threatening and all-around very suspicious. Solar was in Fool's chat and feeling very stabby (which Fool shot down), and when it became clear that Ruby was stream-sniping, decided to cause a distraction.

solar: also -- fool, ignore me for a second -- R.C., pal of all ours. [i don't suppose you're listening in?]

unexpectedly, there was a response from Rubyco in Fool's chat:

R.C.: [I am always watching]

Solar and R.C. then proceeded to have a conversation, still in Galactic.

solar: oh, awesome! great to see you! [out of curiosity, do you take up capacity for this line of sight? which is to say, can that other ruby see right now?] R.C.: [I am not a parasite] solar: would never accuse you of that! quite the opposite, [i wonder if your presence protects us from the prying eyes of that impostor.] R.C.: [I do not influence the worlds- i am not him, i should not communicate- but this is different.] R.C.: [You are an ear that will listen]

a couple other chat members chimed in in Galactic, and im assuming Fool noticed what was going on (i had his stream at near-zero volume unfortunately) because R.C. ended communication with this:

R.C.: [Do not tell about my existence] R.C.: [Please tell him this too]

incidentally, the distraction didn't work. after all, they outright told Solar "I am not a parasite"-- this isn't a Sapphire situation.

what's interesting is that, in other instances of R.C. speaking to the viewers so far, they've referred to themselves as plural-- "we". this includes in the most recent video that started all this: the hidden messages include "This was the only one we could save", and the description says "We are not sure of their location".

however, here we're speaking to an individual, or at least someone speaking on behalf of themself and not as representative of the assumed greater whole. "I am always watching". "Do not tell about my existence".

hey guys what the fuck

[cats-of-eden-valley]

ADHD strikes again with oddly specific thoughts! I've been falling down rabbit hole after rabbit hole today, and thus I have more questions 😅

1) What kind of natural disasters occur in the Valley? Like, do Goldspring get earthquakes due to their volcanic terrain, or do Coldbank or Bogden experience flash flooding? How do the Prides deal with that kinda stuff? Are there any areas prone to hazards (such as areas prone to landslides, or places with a lot of dangerous animals)?

2) Are there any myths/folklore regarding natural disasters? Sorry if this question is too spoiler-y!

3) I'm not sure if you've answered this before, but what is the terrain/climate like outside of the Valley? I follow so many similar concepts that it's all starting to mix lmao

4) What kinds of pollinators live in the Valley? Are they more similar to bees, or things like butterflies or birds?

5) Do the cats have a symbiotic relationship with any other animals? I've been researching the relationship between wolves and ravens for a while now and the question just popped into my head.

6) Are there any carnivorous plants in the Valley? Because the idea of someone getting eaten by an enormous plant is both horrifying and kinda funny.

I've said it before and I'll say it again, I love this project, and it's rare that something like this gives me such insistent brainworms. But, I'm happy - it might even be developing into a hyperfix!

As always, no pressure to respond! I'm content just yelling into the void.

(Also, I don't know is it okay to ask for advice here, especially for my own writing, and I would appreciate knowing-) (/gen)

Have a good day/night! (Sorry if I'm becoming annoying lol)

-🦇

The reason this took me so long is because this post is longer than the colour of the sky. see you in hell (affectionate) o7

1.

Lots! Most earthquakes are little rumbles, but of more note are the seasons. Eden Valley has two: Rain and Fire

During monsoon season, the river gets muchhh bigger. When water levels rise, while it does eat up a lot of land space, there are several "living islands" of matted vegetation which float with the water while remaining tethered to the bottom. Flooding is typically pretty predictable, and never passes certain levels.

Once monsoon season ends, fire season begins. And I do mean Fire Season. You know how all the leaves drop for dry season? The flora here doesn't even bother, it's evolved to just let it get burnt away (or sheathing leaves for the season). Bogden and Goldspring both retreat up the cliffs into stone holts to let the burn go by, and live there for the season for subsequent burns (caused by the mushrooms that grow stupid fast off all the ash)

And then you have everything else, like landslides, Many dangerous animals (have you seen the croc-snake), storms, droughts, but like we'll be here all night if i keep going

2.

Dunno if it counts, but it's common belief among the prides that the Moons reached down and scooped out a divot in the mountains for cats to escape the burning eye of Hiverne

There is also currently a rumour that has been bouncing around among the outsiders about some apocalyptic change, which can only be escaped by travelling west, but like. That's nothing to worry about, nothing can harm the prides in their cozy, impenetrable little valley :)

3.

So, as far as the cats know, Eden Valley is nestled in the middle of a mountain range, with uncrossable deserts on one side and endless mountains on the other (with the occasional claim that, if you go far enough into the mountains, you'll see something vast and blue far in the distance)

The prides ignore the outside world and like to believe they live in the only oasis of life left in the world, which they believe was scorched and destroyed by Hiverne. Obviously this isn't true, because Windswept aren't even from this region, but y'know.

4.

I haven't thought much about pollinators cus I've been hemming and hawing about the existence of flowers in the Valley (because im a baby that doesn't want to learn to draw them)

But now I'm kinda thinking about the role that mushrooms play in the Valley, where they actually thrive in hot and dry conditions (vs the fungi we know preferring cool and wet) and grow like nuts during the Sleeping Year, and maybe they make?? Mushroom flowers? I just like the idea of applying "here i have this tasty treat for you in exchange for you taking my junk gunk to some other guy" to mushrooms and then making that system easier to draw

5.

Nothing like. Specifically. I need to do more research so I can really start hammering out the relationship the cats have to the rest of the ecosystem, but the only thing I'm capable of reading at the moment are research paper #3453239 about felidae evolution

It will be a thing, though!

6.

There are but the great thing about plants is that they don't move much, so the cats know where they all are.

Hell, maybe that's your mutualistic relationship: the cats have learned that the sticky traps close if you place small prey sacrifices into them, allowing them to safely harvest nectar. Or something. Then spread that pollen babey (and get good, good nectar, tastless yet thick and soothing to the throat)

[plut00nline]

Fuck it im doing it

My 2020 top 20 movie list

(Disclaimer that most of these weren't made in 2020 but I just watched them this year. These aren't also really in a very particular order but they are lowkey ranked) (i also had to be choosey with the images i out cause of the limit, but yeah dont mind that)

20. The perfection

The plot twist in this movie is *chefs kiss* there was no way for me to predict the ending, bug as far as thrillers goes, it is brilliant. And also, lesbians. It can be a pretty triggering movie for ab*se and general gore, but really I love the pacing and the thrill of it.

19. The shining

Ah yes, a classic horror, and though I may feel iffy about Stanley Kubrick, this movie was pretty good. But I am saying this as a person that didn't read the book. The blood rushing down the hallway was really my favourite visual on the movie. It was a movie that made me felt genuinely scared while watching it, like hiding behind my blanket but also sweating scared, the suspense was pretty thrilling though

18. Doctor Sleep

Man do I love Danny Torrance, and Abra, fuck I love them both. Again, I never read the book, but my ignorance keeps me in bliss. The visuals of this movie are also great, and the emotions this movie puts through? I'm just glad headcanons exist, but really I did enjoy this movie even if it wasn't what I was expecting.

17. Birds of prey

Harley deserved a movie, and the fact that it was directed by a woman makes me love it so much more because we just got to see harley doing the things that she fucking wanted. This movie is wlw solidarity, from Margot robbie to Mary Elizabeth Winstead, women with crossbows? Sign me the fuck up. And from all the DC films I've seen, it's so much brighter, in the visual sense, there's colour! There's character! And not everyone is just brooding in darkness, its the type of movie that would make me actually watch and enjoy DC films.

16. Charlie's angels

Firstly, lesbians. Thank you. But really, its a good action comedy and really I'll jump at the chance to see women kick ass.

15. My octopus teacher

I've never cried over an octopus before, so that was an experience. And even though this is technically not a movie, I still wanted to put it on here cause it was really just a great documentary, especially since it happened in my home country and im very oddly proud of that fact.

14. Knives out

Murder mystery and chris evans go so well together. I have made a longer post, but to sum it up, like most of the movies on this list. The colours and the pacing and just the atmosphere of the movie was spectacular, and even though I couldve guessed the ending, I was still on the edge of my seat for most of it

13. Ready or not

I love this new wave of eat the rich media. Samara weaving is a great actor and I am in love with her and this whole movie. It really was something that I hadn't actually seen before and the fact that the whole curse thing at the end was true was really just wow. Along with eat the rich, I love the feral female energy lately, and the whole white clothing slowly but surely being covered in blood.

12. Geralds game

The line "youre only made of moonlight" lives in my head rent free. This movie, was really an experience and for a movie with only two people in it for the majority, it is really well done. I'll always feel iffy about a man writing a woman's experience (specifically) but I do love the way this movie went, yeah I hated the "Hand" scene, but I still enjoyed the after math of it.

11. The old gaurd

Again, more lesbians, what more could I ask for? The concept for this movie is brilliant, immortal mercenaries is the only trope I want from now on, and found family.

10. Parasite

Again with the eat the rich. This movie was mindblowing, and just, the imagery!! And im glad they didn't dub it in English cause fuck that, I enjoyed it perfectly with subtitles.

9. song of the sea

This movie, this movie! Is so precious and I had that song stuck in my head for days.the name Saoirse is also so oddly pleasing to hear. This story is so beautiful, the music is amazing and it makes me want to be a fae.

8. Scott pilgrim vs the world

This movie really did pass what my expectations for what I thought it was gonna be, the music was amazing, the transitions and editing style was *chefs kiss* and even though I felt like I was in a fever dream the whole time, it'd be a fever dream I'd gladly rewatch.

7. The imitation game

Thank you Alan Turing. This movie recked me, like emotionally, I was a mess when I was done with it, but damn was it good, like I really just felt something while watching it, I mean most.of the movies on this list did, but this one just really hit me in some way.

6. Klaus

At least there are still good Christmas movies being made. Actually, I was a mess for this one too, the second that child got that sleigh thing it was over for my emotions. The whole sirge of turning Santa into this big macho dude really is working out and that's how Santa should always be depicted. I could gush about the animation style of this movie all fucking day, I love it so much (and the shadows!!! Ahh the shadows!) It really is just incredible.

5. I'm thinking of ending things

Hey man, I knew this was gonna fuck me up just by looking at the trailer, but there was absolitley no way to prepare for whatever was about to happen. Even after watching it, I have no idea what happened. But I still found it great, I love movies that give me an existential crisis.

4. Spirited away

All I wanted to do, was eat everything in that movie, even if it would turn me into a pig, holy hells this movie is good. There was just this satisfying appeal to it that I can't quite put into words. Its beautiful like everything studio ghibli movie ever.

3. The Willoughbys

I never knew I needed a found family movie with a bunch of kids that were already family. I've made a longer post about this movie, and I dont think I could really say more, this movie is so fucking touching and I love the direction it went in plot wise.

2. Howl's moving castle

Again, I may not have understood wtf was going on, but I'll be damned if I didn't love every second of it. There is no doubt that this movie is stunning, and I really am a suckered for early 2000's 2d animation, because!!! Look at it!!! Studio Ghibli films always just floor me with how good they look. I really wanna read the book, because I would absolutley love to see a feral Sophie giving howl shit for crying over hair.

1. Us

This movie will always be my no. 1 it is amazing and I love everything jordan peele has done with his movies. Especially for it to have a full black cast, and those black people have darker skin than what is normally shown in media. The feral but also calculated nature of each character is beautiful and nothing can ever make me hate this movie

I hope you enjoyed this incoherent "review" of my favourite movies I watched in 2020, its been a shit show and movies really have been a place of comfort for me. But stay safe and happy new year!

[fallingsunflower]

BESTIES I'm so sorry - I hit my post limit waaaay earlier than expected! Some of y'all joined me on my backup account, (which I also hit the limit on lmao), but I'm back now.

I had over 400 asks to go through and I'll give you a warning that not all of them will appear (either because they were old or because they were topics we already answered). But here is a giant list of asks I compiled for you from when I wasn't allowed to post lol they don't really require my response but I found them entertaining to read. Hope you don't mind I've just put them all together in one post. It's also to save me from using up my 250 posts lol

"this is all so embarrassing like my god imagine when the promotion of the movie starts how horrible it will be for other people who made the movie too"

"SELL UR TICKETS TODAY WATCH THE MOVIE ILLEGALLY, next article we’ll be talking about these two assholes filing for bankruptcy. cheap harlots. don’t mess with your meal ticket."

"hate to say it but i defs think they‘ve got a sliver of the gp’s attention for five minutes"

"I am scanning through all these photos looking for just ONE where he looks like he's smiling and enjoying this. It's so crazy."

"I guess those are all the pics we’re getting right now. But I wouldn’t be surprised if they finish the Italy trip off with one more major Backgrid photo shoot."

"Olivia’s trending on Twitter but not Harry. Like it’s obvious who’s getting the PR gains here!"

"If they dont give us a 6 month or more break after this im gonna need them to pay for my therapy bills from now on bc of this damage no joke let me crawl back into my shit hole now 😑"

"The palce they at is referred to as “tuscanys best-kept secret”. Everyone point and laugh."

"she looks like she’s enjoying all of this. he looks like he wants to push her into the water."

"a few people said he’s keeping his shorts pulled up or covered in all the shots because of the Nike branding which they ask to not get photographed. What a setup."

"Man I knew the second those Tomdaya pics came out of them kissing and how they were trending so fast that HO were going to do something to 'top' them. Its pathetic /// FRRR. she probably hoped for the positive reactions that people gave tom & zendaya but unfortunately, miss girl got the opposite. when will they realize that nobody, but his fans, find them cute lmao can they just stop, it’s so embarrassing 😭😭😭"

"He really out here doing this with someone who almost old enough to be his mother, shiiiiiiiit. Sickening. Sick of these 2 for real now, i was fine with the good old blurry back content and whatnot but this? Crossing a line here nobody wanna see that shit and knowing how people feel goooooood damn."

"I aboslutely despise kendall for obvious reason but this one is actually worse than the hendall one bc you couldnt really see as much as now dis gos tang."

"She’s also wearing the cross necklace again. I feel like if that was so meaningful to her she wouldn’t risk loosing it in the ocean 🙄"

"guys have eyes on tmz. I Do not have tw now. they were so aggressive towards them"

"I'm sorry for Harry because you lost your damn mind bro"

"Now why the hendall pics are better ?? NO SHADE BUTT"

"I’m genuine confused like do they actually want dwd to flop or what? I just threw up in my mouth I sure as hell ain’t gonna watch their sorry ass movie. Is it supposed to flop? I’m so confused!"

"The match was not interesting enough so they cooked up something different especially since people were pointing out how they staged the PDA. And the page 6 article is out already!!!"

"Who the fuck thought this was a good idea"

"Is it just me or does harry's face looks really blank for someone out on a Romantic date with his alleged girlfriend.?"

"if thats it, harry hasn’t no game🤣🤣🤣🤣"

"so this is why the tabloids weren’t talking about the match pics! they didn’t have any value on their own. now with the yacht pics? my oh my they’re gonna get the clicks of their lives. her team was prob like “wait a sec we got something for y’all”"

"If they were models hired to act like a couple they wouldn't get the job......"

"Not them starring right at the camera in some of them help make it less obvious will you"

"HENDALL🤣🤣🤣is that uuuu"

"Harry’s ass crack thought it should make an appearance too."

"What a great day for team PR, happy Monday you guys! Let's pop the champagne 🍾🍾🍾🍾 P. S. They both need acting lessons, tbh"

"It’s quite interesting how everything that’s happened before I’ve seen predicted weeks/and in advance on blogs or fan accounts. Like his life has always been so predictable but damn"

"He was hiding the Nike check. That’s why his swim trucks are rolled up to an absurd degree even for him. He knew he was gonna get photographed."

"What I’m noticing is wether people like them together or not, everyone’s saying they’re aren’t a hot couple…there was more chemistry in the Kendall pics by far"

"i also find it weird that he’s not smiling in any of the pictures and it would be one thing if there were five pics from ten minutes of time but there are like 70 from an obvious extended period of time"

"It's interesting everyone involved is being Team Try Hard. Yet the universe says no. The last set of pics, Tom and Zendaya overshadowed. People even paid more attention to Angelina and the Weekend (even if business possibly). Fast forward to today and all this fakery only for Gwen/Blake to tie the knot. His team needs to get a clue. She needs to go. Harry needs to clean this up fast."

"Ok i looked at one hugging pic and one kidding pic and they could not look more stagged. It looks unatural ,strange and weird from all angles. You can clearly see from their body posture they are posing for a photographer from backgrid."

"Like I said in my ask a couple days ago the day we get kissing pics is the day that I believe this is all a stunt and I was right. They took a page out of hendall 2016 and it’s looks so forced and awkward. Hendall did it better cause at prater they had chemistry. They must be scared this movie is going to tank because they are pushing this way too hard"

"Real, PR, or whatever relationship it is, they’re fucking boring. You are on a yacht in Italy, can’t you have a little bit of fun? I can’t believe how boring they are, I just can’t. Even if it is just PR, can’t you make a fucking dumb joke so you can laugh or something? Do they have anything in common like to talk about or discuss or make fun of? I’d literally killed myself if I looked like that in a relationship. They are not communicating in any photos we’ve got. They are just walking, or sitting. Even when they hold hands or kiss or hug, they never communicate."

"okay but did ya’ll see the pic of her diving in?? i can’t stop laughing 😭😭😭😭"

"they look horrifically awkward i cannot believe what harry is doing"

"“HEY PAPS COME GET A PIC OF US KISSING TO MAKE OUR RELATIONSHIP MORE BELIEVABLE!!!!!”"

"his ass is hanging out and her bra is almost off what in the hell"

"Hqs on a yacht like that? Mhmhmhm hmmmmm / I bloody well hope that’s not the extend of their acting. That’s dire! 🤦‍♀️"

"this is literally the most predictable “couple” to exist. first, people talked about them showing up the game, and they did. second, people were just talking about kissing pics... AND THEY JUST CAME OUT LMAOOOOOO"

"annnnnnnnnnnnnd there it is. YOU KNOW THEY KNEW THERE WAS A CAMERA."

"ok but where’s the pda or did that get made up? cause these have to be the most awkward pics i’ve ever seen which makes me feel better 😂 also i can feel the meme’s coming with the one of her diving off the boat"

"I call it how I see it they are both assholes and full of shit. Like do your fake kiss somewhere else I do not want to see it!"

"Can they at least act like they’re having a good time?"

"hahahaha I can't stop laughing with that photo of O it's literally her knowing she's being photographed and diving into a professional swimmer style😭"

"the pics are so organic that Olivia is looking straight at the pap before kissing Harry."

"he looked a lot happier with kendall in their yacht pics compared to today’s. i know that was PR too, but he was very smiley and seemed talkative. with this girl it’s like the complete opposite lmao."

[thespianbooks]

A Court of Nightmares and Starlight //Chapter 6//

(Chapter one) (Chapter two) (Chapter three) (Chapter four) (Chapter five) (Chapter six) (Chapter seven) (Chapter eight) (Chapter nine) (Chapter ten)

(tags: @thron3ofbooks, @df3ndyr, @courtofjurdan, @art-e-mis, @herondamnn, @the-third-me, @im-still-trying-here, @emikadreams, @paytin77, @mis-lil-red)

“Are you absolutely sure it's a boy?” Rhys asked me as we lay entangled in bed, his ear pressed against my bare stomach and his hand splayed just below my navel.

I giggled as I ran my fingers through his raven locks. In the week since I announced my pregnancy, he asked me different versions of the same question. His hands also seemed to have become permanently glued to my stomach; along with his ears and lips. Every chance he had, Rhys would try and get as close to the baby as possible—which I welcomed, absolutely content with how devoted he was. The morning after Starfall, Rhys insisted we visit Madja’s clinic in Velaris—determined to learn anything and everything there was to know about pregnancy and what it would entail for me. The healer happily obliged, and informed us both of what the next eight and a half months would look like. Not only was a high fae pregnancy longer than a human’s, but as with other fae ailments, any symptoms and risks I faced might be amplified.

There were the normal symptoms I was already accustomed to: nausea, vomiting, fatigue, and others I would soon face: backaches, swelling in my hands, face, and feet, and occasional headaches. Hearing about those symptoms didn’t cause any alarm, they were common and unfortunately came hand-in-hand with creating a new life. Madja also said that every female experienced her pregnancy differently; some had severe complications and had to be on strict bed rest, while others hardly experienced anything other than a few minor discomforts. I hoped for the latter of the two.

It was hearing about the risks, which included a small chance of bleeding that could lead to a miscarriage while we were still in an early phase, that made me nervous and caused Rhys to enter in a full-blown defensive mode. Any prior protective behavior he was experiencing before now intensified with his innate need to safeguard me and the baby. Madja assured us that this behavior was expected and normal between mates; with females in such a vulnerable condition, a male’s instinct was always to protect his mate and their offspring. To his credit, Rhys offered a sheepish grin along with an apology in advance. Having already witnessed what he was like after we were freshly mated, and how he managed to reign himself in, I knew most of it was beyond his control.

However, I welcomed some of his coddling after my unpleasant symptoms returned a day after our visit with Madja, and fluctuated throughout the week. The extreme fatigue seemed to be a permanent state I would stay in for the duration of my pregnancy, but I pleaded to the Mother that my nausea spells would soon cease. It was torture being unable to leave my room for periods of time throughout the day. Unfortunately, there was no predicting when the queasiness would hit, so for the time being I would have to bear with it and hope none of the others would notice and wonder why my seemingly mysterious illness still remained.

Rhys and I decided to hold off on revealing the news to our friends and my sisters until we were out of the realm of possibility for a miscarriage. Madja reassured me that the chances were slim and divulged that although it was difficult for high fae to conceive, it was also difficult to lose a pregnancy. In spite of my relief, I didn’t want to take any chances and asked the healer for all recommendations on how to stay as healthy as possible.

So, along with the prenatal herbal teas she initially prescribed, she also ordered that I immediately put a halt to my morning training sessions with Cassian—which Rhys whole-heartedly agreed with, much to my chagrin. As much as I enjoyed being active, however, I knew fainting after only a couple of minutes of basic punching forms was a sign that I should be taking it easier. My body was now working overtime to provide not only for myself, but for a baby that was growing more and more by the day. Instead, Madja suggested I take more time to rest and relax, to allow myself more free time for leisure activities like my painting. Knowing my concerns, and guilt, over becoming stagnant, Rhys promised my duties as High Lady wouldn’t be affected—which left me relieved.

However, as much as my mate knew how capable I was of tending to my regular duties as High Lady, I couldn’t help but be amused at how much he insisted on spoiling me. He now reserved the right to tend to my every want and need; whether I was weary or not, Rhys began to wait on my hand and foot under the guise that since I was carrying his child, he would carry everything else. I appreciated it most whenever I was feeling particularly nauseated or drained, but I drew the line whenever he tried to spoon feed me my meals—I still maintained my irritation for it, no matter how much of a mother hen he was going to be for the duration of my pregnancy. I also valued it on morning’s like today when I had awoken with little to no desire to leave the comforts of our bed—whether it was from my overwhelming fatigue or not.

“Yes, the Bone Carver appeared to me as our firstborn. A miniature version of you,” I answered with a sigh of mock exasperation.

“And you’re sure this mini-me didn’t happen to actually have long hair or maybe more feminine features? It is dark in the prison, afterall, maybe you missed a couple of details,” he tried to reason, raising his head to look at me.

“I showed you what he looked like,” I laughed.

“Ah yes, but I saw through your eyes Feyre darling. So to clarify the vision, I have to rely on the original source. In this case, that’s you,” he said, his grin positively feline.

I grabbed a pillow and smacked him with it as I laughed, “Smartass.”

His grin remained as he braced himself against my stomach playfully, “Careful darling, you’ll hurt the baby,” he teased.

I rolled my eyes and hit him again as he laughed, “It’s a boy. Maybe the next one will be a girl.”

“Next one?” He asked, his violet eyes lit up as they met mine with raised and amused brows.

“We’ll see. Let’s focus on our son first,” I said.

His chuckle reverberated through me as he pressed his ear to my still-flat stomach. Despite no growth progress being made on my pregnant belly, he was obsessed.

“I want him to know I’m here,” Rhys answered before I could ask; double checking to make sure that my mental shields were intact.

“He knows,” I said as I continued to brush my fingers through his hair. “He was calling out to you for weeks before either of us realized he was there.”

During our visit, I had Madja explain the mystery behind the faint glimmer that fluttered between us. The ancient inkling that existed between mates as a confirmation that they had successfully procreated. Rhys was in awe of the information, and hoped the glimmer would remain throughout the months. So far, my little glimmering baby was silent—perhaps reveling in finally being noticed.

“Still, it’s never too early to bond with my son,” he said with a grin as he pressed a chaste kiss to my stomach before subsequently moving from his spot and hovering above me. “Are you feeling well enough to have breakfast with everyone, or shall I bring you breakfast in bed?”

I sighed as I held his arms, lightly tracing the pattern of his tattoos as I debated, “I could honestly sleep for another couple of hours. You should go, let everyone know I’m okay,” I answered.

“I’m beginning to run out of excuses to explain why their High Lady has been so inclined to not leave her room.”

I hesitated, realizing how hard it actually was to keep up the deceit. A part of me knew Mor was suspicious of something already, having guessed Cauldron-knew-what on Starfall. The others I couldn’t even begin to guess what assumptions they made.

“Should we just tell them?” I asked. “I know we wanted to wait a little while longer, but it just doesn’t feel right to keep giving excuse after excuse.”

Rhys nodded in agreement, “I’m pretty sure Cassian and Azriel know something, but they have too much respect for your privacy to pry it out of me.”

I laughed and sighed tiredly, “Do you think they’ll be excited?” I asked.

He smirked, “Well I don’t think they’ll be disappointed.”

I rolled my eyes and pushed him away before sitting up as he chuckled. He caught my wrist carefully before I could get up from the bed, “I think they’ll be more than happy to hear there will soon be a new member of our Inner Circle,” he said.

I smiled, “He’s going to be spoiled, isn’t he?”

“Rotten, my love.” He replied as I laughed.

X

I didn’t realize how nervous I would actually be until we sat down for breakfast. Our morning routine was proceeding as normal—everyone gathering in our grand dining hall, another room I was particularly proud of in the estate. I planned for it to be large enough to fit all of us comfortably, and took extra consideration for the Illyrian brothers and their mighty wings.

I took comfort in seeing everyone in their customary morning moods; Amren and Mor chattering over a new line of jewelry on display at their favorite shop at the Palace of Thread and Jewels, Elain displaying a book of pressed flowers she had been collecting to Azriel—who actually requested to see it the night before, and Nesta keeping a watchful eye on the pair while Cassian engaged her in some kind of boastful conversation. I was actually surprised to see how close they were sitting together without Nesta having a sneer on her face. I tried to remember the last time it was she even looked at him with a sneer at all.

Getting distracted, my love? Rhys asked down the bond.

I glanced at him and took a sip from my glass of orange juice. What, should I just blurt it out while they aren’t paying attention?

Why not?

I paused. Really?

If you don’t, then perhaps I will.

I blinked and opened my mouth to say it, but when the words refused to come out, Rhys grinned mischievously before simply turning in his seat and said, “Feyre darling is pregnant.”

Everyone’s eyes instantly turned to me and I blushed under their collective gaze. There was quiet for little more than two heartbeats before Mor and Elain’s high-pitched squeals met the air and the sounds of chairs scraping the floor filled the room as everyone moved. Mor was the first to reach me as she threw her arms around me in a warm embrace.

“Oh, I knew it, I knew it!” She cheered as she hugged me and my eyes burned as she pulled away, Elain wrapping me in her arms next.

“I can’t believe it, Feyre, you’re going to have a baby!” she exclaimed, and out of the corner of my eye I saw Azriel and Cassian congratulating Rhys with clasps on the shoulder.

I laughed aloud when Cassian wrapped an arm around his shoulder and wrestled him around, “I knew you had it in you Rhysie!” he exclaimed as Azriel nodded his approval.

Just as the shadowsinger turned his attention to me and took a step in my direction to congratulate me, Rhys was out of Cassian’s hold and in his path—blocking him from getting to me with a deadly snarl on his lips.

Cassian barked a laugh and slapped a hand on Rhys’s tense shoulder, “Is this a second version of that mating bond rearing its ugly head?” he taunted.

Before Rhys could turn that snarl towards Cassian, I touched his other shoulder gently in an attempt to calm his feral temper. Almost instantly, he relaxed as his gaze drifted to my stomach and shrugged Cassian’s hand away.

“Madja warned us that this might happen,” I said, “But I’d prefer you two not destroy this room.”

“We can always have it out in the training pit later, Rhysie.” Cassian goaded, cracking his knuckles with a wicked grin.

Rhys squared his shoulders as his hand came to rest on the small of my back, “I’m fine here.”

“A typical male guarding his offspring,” Amren said coolly, and I was grateful for the attempt to lighten the animosity that briefly began to brew. “Congratulations girl. It’s about time our group is graced by a youngling’s presence, it’ll be a welcome change around here.”

“How far along are you?” Nesta asked, and I was surprised to see her standing beside Cassian, not realizing she had made her way over during the hostile interaction with Rhys, instead of attempting to shield Elain.

“Almost three months now,” I answered, my hand coming to rest on my flat stomach. “I found out the day before Starfall.”

“Aha! I told you!” Mor cheered as she turned to Cassian and Azriel.

Cassian swore under his breath and Az dipped his head in acknowledgement, and I balked. “What’re you talking about?”

“We all made a bet on how long it would take for you guys to announce it. I gave it a week, Cass bet two, and Az bet you would be half-way along before you told us. Which means I won!” Mor sang excitedly.

“I lost the minute his darkness over here didn’t shout it from the rooftop after you told him,” Amren revealed nonchalantly, motioning to Rhys.

“Wait, you all knew?” I asked, bewildered.

“Are you kidding? I smelled it on you the minute we came back from the mountains,” Cassian admitted, “I’m surprised Rhys didn’t, with him being your mate and all.”

“To be fair, a part of me did know, but until Feyre was fully aware herself, I wasn’t going to raise any suspicion,” Rhys said nonchalantly, and I could feel his attempt to tame his preternatural instincts in order to avoid giving into Cassian’s baiting.

“So, this wasn’t really news then?” I asked, unable to hide my disappointment.

“It was for me,” Elain interjected, grabbing my hands gently with a smile, “I had no idea, and I’m so happy Feyre.”

“I didn’t know either,” Nesta added, and I was astonished to see a formal look of support on her lovely face.

Elain embraced me again as my eyes burned. They were all happy for us, and as Amren mentioned earlier, a baby would soon be welcomed by everyone here. I tried not to let the tears fall as I imagined my son being held in each of their arms. I sniffed as I stepped back from Elain’s arms and blinked in surprise when I saw Amren, Mor, Azriel and Cassian standing together before me and bowed with their hands over their hearts—just as they had done years ago after Rhys and I were newly mated.

“Our vow of service and protection is extended to the child you carry; our future High Lord of the Night Court.” Mor explained before I could question them.

“Or the future High Lady,” Cassian said with a wink.

I glanced at Rhys as he slid his hand back onto the small of my back, and without the need to communicate through the bond we knew we would keep that revelation a secret.

“This is normally a tradition sworn to the High Lord, but seeing as you are our High Lady, and the one who is actually doing all the work, we pledge our vow to you and your child.” Amren continued.

My heart tightened and my face flushed as they all stood as one, their hands still on their hearts. I captured the image in my mind, imagining what colors of paint I would need later and the exact canvas I would use to commemorate this moment forever. Sworn protectors of the Night.

“Thank you,” I said, my voice still thick with the unshed tears.

Mor grinned and came up to envelop me in another hug, “Your emotions are going to be all over the place now! You don’t have to worry about holding back, we all understand,” she crooned and I laughed with a sob.

“I’ll admit, I’ve never really been around pregnant females outside of the ones in the Illyrian camps, but I’m willing to learn,” Cassian reassured.

“We all are,” Azriel added.

I sniffed and wiped at the few tears that escaped, “I guess we’re all experiencing this for the first time,” I said.

“I’ve at least held a baby before,” Mor said proudly.

“Before it burst into tears and reached back for its mother,” Rhys remarked with a smirk, earning a glare from the golden-haired beauty.

“Hey, I’ve held a baby before,” Cassian defended. “You forget, I’ve taught younglings how to fly. Sometimes that required holding them when they cried.”

“Your idea of holding a youngling included patting them on the back until they calmed and tossing them, sometimes in mid-air,” Azriel smoothly cut in.

“That happened once, and it was an accident!” Cassian barked.

“So, you dropped a baby in mid-air?” Mor asked.

Elain gasped in horror at the thought, causing Amren to burst out laughing and Nesta rolled her eyes as Cassian fumbled over his words to try and defend his actions. I squeezed Rhys’s hand as my heart swelled and his eyes met mine with an easy grin, his free hand coming to rest on my stomach—happy to finally be able to do so in front of everyone. I returned his grin when that familiar glimmer fluttered excitedly beneath his touch, our son happy and no doubt feeling right at home with his family.

[dessarious]

Misconceptions, Miscommunication, and Misinformation Pt58

Inspired by @ozmav Maribat AU

AO3   Beginning   Previous   Next

“So what you’re saying is that Batman and his team have done more in two months than you managed it two years.” Discorde was about five seconds from Cataclysming Superman, relations with other heroes be damned. She only held back because Ladybug had a hand on her arm. Robin didn’t seem any happier and it brought him up in her estimation.

“That is wildly presumptuous and inaccurate.” Oracle’s voice came through the comm and both she and Red Robin were scowling at the others from a screen on the wall. “We only managed what we did because of the incredibly detailed and accurate information Ladybug gave us. There’s no telling how long it would have taken us starting from scratch the way she did. Not to mention she is one hundred percent responsible for the plan that gave us Mayura.”

“Convenient.” Superman still sounded doubtful but seemed willing to drop that part of things, for now. “Regardless, there’s still the matter of actually apprehending him and what we do with the object that gave him his powers in the first place.” The hand around Discorde’s arm tightened and she looked over to see an incredibly pissed off Ladybug.

“That is none of your concern.” Ladybug’s tone held an impressive amount of authority and disdain. She’d been around Damian a lot lately and it showed. “We are here as a courtesy but I will not allow you to interfere.” Multiple members of the League glared at her from their seats.

“She’s right.” The voice belonged to a rather subdued Wonder Woman. After the rundown Ladybug had given her of the previous meeting Discorde had expected her to be of the same mind as Superman. “The Miraculous are not our domain, nor should they be. While I’m not thrilled that such a burden was placed on children it is not our place to question a Guardian who has dedicated their life to protecting the Miraculous and maintaining balance.” There was complete silence after she spoke, no one seemed to know how to react. Batman recovered first.

“I agree. There’s a reason most of us didn’t even know the Miraculous existed until now. From what Wonder Woman has told me the Order that protects them is very good at keeping them contained.” Discorde felt Ladybug stiffen slightly, but otherwise she didn’t react to the words at all.

“They failed once. Sure this time it’s contained in Paris, but what happens the next time? We can’t take that risk.” Ladybug had apparently had enough of Superman’s self righteous attitude.

“It is not your decision to make.” Her tone was hard and frigid, it sent a chill up Discorde’s spine and she was thanking every Kwami she knew that it wasn’t directed at her. “Even ignoring the Order for the moment, the Miraculous exist to maintain balance. Having all of them in the hands of a group dedicated to their form of justice will wreak havoc on that balance. Villains and dissenters will start popping out of the woodwork at rates you won’t be able to handle. You’ll just be making everything worse for the people you claim to protect. The cost is far too high whether you believe it or not.”

Discorde watched the heroes' reactions, trying to decide which were threats and which were allies. Batman and his team were firmly entrenched on their side, at least for now. Wonder Woman seemed content to let things take their course and at least not interfere. Superman looked like he was ready to go to war with them along with a couple others so that’s where she kept her focus. When Marinette had suggested she be here Plagg had given her some tips and suggestions to keep them in line if necessary and she wasn’t going to hesitate if any of them came at Ladybug.

“So these powers are better protected in the hands of children? If this Order is so competent why didn’t they send their own people in to do the job?” Okay, that was a good question that she’d have to file away for later.

“You have no idea how the Miraculous or the Order work and I’m not about to enlighten you and put others at risk. You believe in very strict definitions of good and evil. I doubt you’d be willing to listen to let alone understand even if I did explain.” Batman’s lips twitched upward and Discorde thought he was trying not to smile. The rest of his team didn’t seem to feel the need to restrain themselves and were snickering in the background. Red Hood even gave Ladybug a thumbs up. Wonder Woman looked amused and… proud? One more thing to try and unpack later.

“You do not decide what is and is not pertinent information for us to know. We will ask questions and you will answer them to the best of your ability.” Superman’s tone said he didn't expect her to know much and Discorde felt the growl in her chest before she heard it. How dare this pompous, self important, alien…

“It would be wise for you to stop.” Discorde glared at Wonder Woman as she spoke, expecting to be the object of her censure, but she was focused on Superman. “Ladybug is perfectly correct in her assessment and the Justice League as no standing to interfere in the first place. What’s more, threatening her will do nothing but give her black cat a reason to show you just how ineffectual your powers are against the powers of gods.” Her tone was dry but firm. Some of the heroes were now looking at the two Miraculous holders like they were bombs ready to go off while others seemed to doubt Wonder Woman’s claim. Discorde almost hoped one of them would try something at this point. She knew exactly how much stress Ladybug was under and this wasn’t helping in the slightest.

“What’s she going to do, purr at me?” Something inside her snapped. She felt for the destruction inside her as Plagg had taught and pulled it to the surface. She was vaguely aware of Batman and his team moving away from the man of steel and heard Wonder Woman’s resigned sigh. The rest didn’t seem to know how to react. They would soon.

The table and chairs dissolved as though eaten by acid causing everyone to scramble away. After that she concentrated directly on Superman. He still seemed to think he was invincible but she knew better. Plagg and Tikki had created the universe and while Superman was immune to the dangers of Earth, he wasn’t immune to the dangers of his home planet, or the Kwami. She focused the ball of darkness inside her into the shape she wanted before letting it shoot straight at Superman. Just as Plagg predicted, he didn’t even try to move.

“Is that all you have?” His cockiness brought a feral grin to her lips. She waited. “This is a waste of time. I want to talk to whoever thought it was a good idea to entrust-” He broke off in a coughing fit that was so violent he ended up hovering over the floor. When he stopped and looked at his hand everyone in the room could see blood. “What did you do?” Discorde glared back at him.

“I infected you with Krypton’s version of the bubonic plague and Ladybug is the only one who can cure you so I suggest you appropriate a new attitude.”

AO3   Beginning   Previous    Next

Ko-Fi

Tag List

@noirdots @valeks-princess @chocolatecatstheron @krispydefendorpolice @bee-wrecker @kanamexzeroyaoifangirl @northernbluetongue @paradoxal-occurance @scrumptiouslyelegantchaosqueen @sonif50 @thequestionablyhuman @persephonebutkore @elspethshadow @geekydragonyt @mmwolf1605 @da-tasuky @mjisntme @bluerosette23 @anjuschiffer @littleredrobinhoodlum @tazanna-blythe @resignedcatservant @schrodingers25 @seraphichana @persephonescat @punstoppablechatnoir @magicalfirebird @crazylittlemunchkin @corabeth11 @cyborgcandy @casual-darkness @shamefullove @miraculous-simmer7 @tamoni112 @cat181818meow @littleblue5mcdork @allthebooksandcrannies @enchanted-nerd @disneyfoxuniverse @fallinginthe-void @mandy984 @goggles-mcgee @fontegagrilledcheese @dorkus-minimus @theatreandcomicfreak @zerotosiki @ayuchan07 @mindfulmagics @urbanpineapplefarmer @winter-gardenflower @mooshoon @my-name-is-michell @melicmusicmagic @7-sage-7 @hypnosharkrebeldreamer @alicesangelofmusic @caffeinetheory @nataladriana9 @multplelifes @wanderingreader1019 @worlds-tiniest-spook-pastry @mvaree @redscarlet95 @storyteller-d @howabouticallyou @ginamarie1512 @kurogaya913 @tbehartoo @maddrag @two-faced-biatch @senyahgirl @unabashedlyswimmingtimemachine @iloontjeboontje @kakashixobito @welcometopradasa @amirahevens @amlesi @miraculousbelladonna @virgil-is-a-cutie @18-fandoms-unite-08 @cupcakeandkisses @angelofmusickaterinapetrova @book-r-the-best @dur55 @moonlightstar64 @fertileleaf @thequeenofpotatoeunicornss @thecaptainthunder @danielslilangel @novicevoice @nyaabinch @interobanginyourmom @welcometopradasa @charlietheepic7 @im-here-for-the-content @maya-custodios-dionach @throneoffirebreathingbitchqueen @starwindmaden @tired-butterfly @rogueptoridactyl @emeraldpuffguide @suzen23smith @yuulxd @animegirlweeb @alovelyocean @kris-pines04 @semaalcocer-blog @cadencehood @jardimazul @shethecat @silent-storms-posts @simplysslytherin @tog84 @thesunanditsangel @dast218 @tall-and-angry @the-alice-of-hearts @captainmac6 @theyellowfeverexperience @chrismarium @alessialeone6997 @heaven428 @tinyterror333 @smolplantmum @lilyellowink @naoryllis @katiegardneriscoolerthanyou @magewriter @doodledeerest @athena452 @peachedpocky @tired-butterfly @risingmoonyue @lunammoon @mylife-demonstrates-murphys-law  @bobothyross @silvergold-swirl @loysydark @heaven428 @peachedpocky @hauntedwintersweets @awesome-starfish-and-tacos @silvergold-swirl @rosesgonerogue @castielsofficialtoothbrush @myazael @aestheticnpoetic @creator-josie @sturchling @snowstar1016 @myblacknightworld @kittycatwowmeow @midnightkaito @chylou34 @hufflejournals @indecisive-mess-named-me @uwuteamleader @sassakitty @jessigurl-design @demigodgirl20031 @freshbark @soup-served-chilling @elmokingkong @unknownvsworld @thatonegaybitchfromschool @tis-i-beanbandit @damianette-is-life @peachesbackup @nobodyw8s4evr

[taejeonie]

dream vs dream

— i can’t find a gif of mark in dream vs dream :(( so take this screenshot :>>

“ncity-“

“hihihi”

“gotta go get em”

“HAHAHAHAHAHA”

i present to u

markhee(HEE, i saw that reply and i loved it)

bffs forever mwah <3

i swear mark keeps laughing around taehyuck best friend goals

“mic test,,ncity...gotta go get em :)))”

video cuts to taehee moving her chair closer to mark

“hey, what are you doing?”

“i’m moving closer to you. what does it look like?”

“there you go again”

“iS it mY fAuLt fOr wAnTinG tO bE cLosE tO mY bEsT bUdDy?”

and mark just deadass stares at her but there’s this loving look in his eyes yes mark she’s still ur best friend and u love her bc that’s what bffs are <3

“ahh i knew you would be like this”

“how much do you wanna bet we’re gonna ask the same thing?”

“like,,,for real? cause-“

“are you scared, mark?”

“if that’s the case, i’m not betting. i have a feeling we’re gonna ask at least two questions that are the same”

taehee @ the camera: “if we get one of the questions wrong, we’re gonna eat it.”

“wh- HAHAHAHAHA”

“so that we can remember the answer after this.”

“HAHAHHAHAHAHA”

“but then we throw it away if we get it right”

“let’s fold the paper like this :p” MARK IS SO CUTE PLS

“but then eat it if we get right...you have to swallow okay?”

“oKAAYYY DREAM VS DREAM START!”

they play rps

taehee threw scissors and mark threw rock

mark, shaking his head: “you always throw scissors it’s so predictable”

“one day, i’ll throw u off. we’ll see -.-“

“okay, what year did we meet each other?”

...

...

...

“DONT PRETEND U DONT KNOW THIS IS EASY!!!”

“2012. we arrived at the same day, right?”

“right.”

“mark and i were really shy back then so we became each other’s first friends in the company”

“we were,,,13? 13, right?”

“i was 12, u were thirteen. our friendship was going strong,,,until haechan came along so mark started hanging out with him more >:((“

“you and haechan fought a lot back then!!!”

in nana’s voice: “but you chose to hangout with me and you left me all alone (-｡-; “

and mark’s in faux disbelief

taehee and her antics tsk

“okay next question....give me one thing i appreciate about mark lee and why?”

mark’s fLUSTERED TM

everyone loves u dont be shy markus

“one? just one?”

“yeah-“

“that’s so hard there’s so many”

“WOW AND YOU FINALLY ADMIT IT”

“NO NOT LIKE THAT HAHA”

“just answer the question”

“is it...i’m cute?”

“then what’s the reason for that?”

“do you like me?”

“oh no...how’d you find out :OO”

“JUST TELL ME IF IM RIGHT OR WRONG”

“no,,i’ll give u another chance. it’s something that you say”

“my habits? ‘약간’?”

“that’s cute,,but no.”

...

mark snaps his fingers and goes, “AH!”

“when i call you ‘joanie’ becauseeee.....”

“because?”

“it reminds you of your mom?”

“i was going for family but mom works too ;))”

and mark laughs in delight

“yo that was EASY”

taehee playfully rolls her eyes, “your turn”

“what is mark’s sleeping habit?”

taehee’s eyes widen for a split second before answering

“kissing your roommate”

“crawling on the floor”

“what?”

“sleep talking in korean and english”

“that’s right”

“konglish” - taehee, 2k18

“i witnessed it personally and when i do get the chance, i will record it and post it on sns”

“...please don’t”

“you’re right i might get fired”

they both laugh,,you can also hear renjun’s laughter off-screen

“okay next, you’ll know the answer to this if you’re really interested in me”

“i feel uneasy”

“what is my favorite song as of now,,,,”

“uhh ‘better now’?”

“no”

“‘i like it’”

“nooo”

“‘better now’”

“HEY YOU SHOULD KNOW THIS :(((“

“WHAT IS IT”

taehee puffs out her cheeks before giving him a clue

“it’s a song by one of your favorite artists”

mark blanks out for a moment and he’s like

uhhhhhhh

and taehee sighs disappointingly bc so far she’s got two of mark’s questions right

i mean her questions aren’t that hard pfffft

“AH! ‘new light’ by john mayer”

“DING DING DING”

“i told you to listen to it, right?,” mark says proudly

she nodded cutely before singing the lyrics

“oh i want a take two,”

“i want to breakthrough,”

and mark joins her and it becomes the perfect recipe for a louder duo

mark + taehee = loud

“I WANNA KNOW THE REAL THING ABOUT YOU”

and now they’re calm again, “so i can see you in a new light~”

taehee: “applause!!”

cLAP CLAP CLAP

“in how many cities did mark live in?”

“torontonewyorkvancouverseoul”

taehee main rapper we stan

“HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH THAT WAS SO FAST AHHAHAHAHAHAH”

“f o u r,” she spelled in english

“mARK LOOK FOUR HAS FOUR LETTERS”

“rEaLLy???”

simultaneously: f o u r.

and they’re both shocked like the five year olds they are so they high five each other

#dreamiesatheart

“what is taehee’s most recent sleeping habit?”

“told you it would be the same”

“yeah but mine has a ‘most recent’ on it? see,” she gestures to the paper in her hand

“you raise your arm when you’re asleep”

taehee’s like >:(( as she puts mark’s hand down when he demonstrates

“there’s another one”

“ahh sleeping on the floor”

“yeapp :DD”

“why do you get on the floor tho?”

“honestly i don’t even wanna know”

“okay in what restaurant did we eat together”

“like...just the two of us?”

“yeah”

“do i have to name all of them”

“name the most memorable one.”

“ah 삼겹살!!!”

“that’s correct but there’s another-“

“김치찌개!!”

“wow you got all of them right”

“paper doesn’t exactly suit my appetite...but maybe it does for you”

mark laughs at this

“wait, see? i’m getting goosebumps right now. what was the first menu mark and taehee ate together?”

“just the two of us? isn’t it 김치찌개 also?”

“yes,” and the girl goes in for a high five

“woah we really wrote the same thing ...”

“we should’ve discussed this earlier”

“okay last question!!! are you ready?”

“yES IM READY,” she shouts causing mark to let out a giggle

“name the film that we watched together in the movie theater”

“train to busan. i loved that movie.”

“that’s right!!”

and they make their 93488293rd high five in the video

best friend tingz

mark laughs, “no one knew about this.”

“yeah we had to sneak out,” taehee says before making that

oops i did it again face

taehee and her escapades the managers have trouble monitoring her sometimes

but she’s a good girl for the most part lmao she still needs to pay rent

“i didn’t want to watch the movie-“

“but i forced him to”

“i thought you didn’t like scary movies?”

“scary movies are fine as long as i’m with....”

everyone expects her to say ‘the members’ but it’s taehee ffs

“...you ;)))”

“oKAAAAAAAAY”

“okay my turn,,,”

“WOAH YOU ACTUALLY GOT ALL OF THE QUESTIONS CORRECT”

taehee suddenly throws the paper behind her shoulder and catches mark off by surprise

“mark,,,,,”

then there’s this look in her eyes which made mark laugh nervously, “whaaat are you gonna do?”

“are you tired?”

“is that the question?”

taehee nods, “ask me why,,”

“....why?”

“because you keep running through my mind all day ;)))”

*finger guns*

chenle and jeno laugh behind the cam while mark attempts to keep a straight face while shaking his head at you

“that was good right?,” taehee’s still laughing as she nudges mark with her knee

“oh really?,” mark says

“then you must be exhausted”

taehee: ( O.O )

“WOAHHHH”

“MARK-HYUNG!!!”

“DID HE REALLY JUST DO THAT”

taehee’s in shock bc??? mark lee??? flirting back???

“wah that was good...”

and mark’s just laughing at her expression

“wah .... i didn’t ....”

video cuts to taehee looking sullen while mark :))

“okay, the score is 5:4-“

“WHAT NO-“

“i’m hurt,,,clearly mark isn’t interested in me”

*proceeds to fake cry*

“hey, that’s no fair. the last question wasn’t even about you-“

*fake cries harder*

when taehee “calmed down” she looks at the camera

she’s still wiping her non-existent tears

acting queen give her an oscar

“from now on, i will try to be less interested in mark”

she turns to mark and makes this cutting/slicing gesture with her hand

and mouths “friendship. over. -.-“

“she gave the wrong questions. that’s why-“

“wHAT CAN GET MORE PERFECT THAN THESE”

bleep

“this was dream vs dream which ended in my victory. thank you for watching!!!”

they give each other a bro hug

and when taehee pulls away she looks down and pointed at mark’s shoes

“tie your shoes properly!!”

“but they don’t-“

“i don’t want you falling for anyone else ;)))”

mark shoves her causing taehee to go out of frame

“HAHAHHAHAHA- HEY!”

“tHAT WAS BAD I DONT EVEN HAVE SHOE LACES”

“IT WAS GOOD THOUGH!!”

“try to come up with a new one, i heard you use that on yuta-hyung already.”

“whatever-“

[rueoconghaile]

( HOZIER, 30, CISMALE ) I just bumped into [ RUADHÁN “RUE” O’CONGHAILE ] the other day while walking down [ SOUTH ] Kingsboro, where [ HE/HIM ] live. I hear they can be [ GOOD-NATURED ] and [ CLUMSY ], but when I think of them I immediately think about [ THE SUN SHINING THROUGH STAINED GLASS, THE SMELL OF IRISH WILDFLOWERS AFTER THE RAIN, ACCIDENTALLY WATCHING THE SUN COME UP BECAUSE YOU STILL HAVEN’T SLEPT  ] ( ella again xx )

hi hello i’m sorry i haven’t shut up about this character in like two weeks but he’s so worth the wait i promise. however, that being said, please proceed with caution. i’ll list all of the trigger warnings as they come up but there’s a lot of heavy stuff in here so just be safe ily okay here we go. ps im sorry this got so long

born in middle-of-nowhere, ireland, rue didn’t have the best childhood. his mother, apparently a wealthy socialite from england, had no interest in being a mother. his father, her husband at the time, begged her to let him keep the baby, and they’d get a divorce so she’d never have to see either of them again. she agreed, and took off, leaving rue to be raised by his dad. his mother was more than generous in the divorce settlement, making sure his father had more than enough to care for the child and live a luxurious life. while he wishes he could have met her, rue has no hard feelings towards his mother. 

{ tw: abuse } rue’s father was his best friend. they did everything together, and as a kid, that’s all he could have asked for. sure, it wasn’t perfect, but no dads are perfect, right? in truth, it was far from perfect. for most of his life, rue was in denial about the underlying emotional and mental abuse he suffered at the hands of his father. his father used him, manipulating him and crushing him until he fit this perfect little role his father had designed for him. it was rarely physical, and when it was, it was rue’s fault. he was clumsy and loud, always making noise or breaking things. in fact, most of it was rue’s fault, in his mind. his father’s mood swings, the borderline-obsessive controlling behaviour, the constant belittling comments, only to be outshone by the rare positive one. of course, none of this was actually his fault, but he was just a kid. he assumed that if his father didn’t love him, he had to be better. 

{ tw: homophobia } and then rue was fifteen, falling in love with the world. he quickly learned that if he played his music well, people would be nice to him, and like him. and in one particular case, like like him. he sat next to rue in his english class and had the nicest smile. he was in love, or at least, as in love as he could be at fifteen. and it seemed, for a moment, that he wasn’t the only one. they kept their relationship a secret, their extremely religious town not known for being accepting. they talked about running away together one day, starting over in the big city. and one day came, when the local priest caught them kissing behind the library after mass one sunday. he, of course, went straight to rue’s father.

{ tw: abuse } despite their rocky relationship, not even rue could have predicted his father’s response. upon hearing the now-public news that his teenage son had been caught kissing another boy, his father drank. and drank. waiting for rue to come home, waiting to confront him. even though rue had begun to grow into his height, he had always been a lanky kid who avoided confrontation at all costs. meaning when his father took the first swing, he couldn’t fight back. looking back, he didn’t even know if he would have, had he the chance. 

bruised and bloodied, rue packed a bag and grabbed his guitar, ready to take his love on the road. they’d always talked about running away, why not now? having nothing and being in love was better than staying here in his comfortable life, and he really didn’t want to go back in the closet. his love didn’t feel the same though, publicly denying they were anything beyond classmates. heartbroken, rue left without him, moving to dublin with only what he could carry. 

dublin was good to him, though. he got a job in the kitchen of a dive bar who didn’t ask questions and sometimes let him play on stage if things were quiet. they had an unspoken agreement, they’d look the other way on his age if he showed up and kept his head down and didn’t cause any problems. he lived on the streets for a few years, a wild change from his comfortable upbringing. at first it was just for the money, he couldn’t afford a flat on his own and didn’t know anyone he could live with, but then he actually came to enjoy it. yeah, it was hard, especially in the winters, but the other kids his age on the street were good kids, if troublesome. they all took care of each other, a new family when their own had cast them out. 

that’s where he met her. elizabeth. he was nineteen and had just been promoted to line cook at the bar, she was eighteen and her family had just moved to dublin from denmark. despite the fact that she liked to run on the wild side and hang out on the streets, her family was incredible. they took him right into their home, giving him a place to live, as long as he agreed to go back to school. they even got him a tutor to help with his learning disabilities. as he and their daughter fell more and more in love, they adopted him wholeheartedly into their family, and eventually, rue actually enrolled in college. 

{ tw: abuse } they stayed in dublin for school but moved out of her parent’s house and into their own flat. that’s when things started to spiral in their relationship. elizabeth became overly jealous and controlling, checking his phone multiple times a day, insisting on walking him to and from classes and work. she never had any reason to worry, he was so in love with her it was if no one else in the world existed. to rue, who had been raised so deeply in emotional and mental abuse, this was normal. this was how people showed their love. he didn’t know any better. it was broken and fucked up and extremely toxic, but it was theirs, and he loved her.

{ tw: terminal illness } rue did whatever he could to excuse her behaviour, letting her cut him off from everyone in her life, including her own parents. he even turned a blind eye to the way she checked his phone constantly but always hid hers. that was, until his father got sick. he had been away from home for about five years at that point, and it wasn’t until his father reached out that he even knew he was sick. rue had found himself a comfortable little job caring for animals at a wildlife rehabilitation facility on the outskirts of the city, and while it didn’t pay much, it payed enough to move his father in with them. however, the man that came was not the same man who had raised him. he was a shell of a man, sickness eating away at him until he could barely move. his father had huntington’s, a rare degenerative brain disease that would essentially turn his father into a vegetable until he died an early death. they didn’t know how much longer he had, but it was likely only a few years. 

{ tw: death } to cope with his toxic relationship and the ever declining state of his father’s health, rue threw himself into his music. it was the release he needed, the only thing keeping him going. and it was working. for four years he managed to juggle work, his father’s care, and his music, and it was all about to pay off. he got a record deal at a pretty decent label based out of london. he’d only have to go for a few months, but that meant leaving his father in the care of his girlfriend. so, at the expense of the only dream he’s had, he turned it down. he told himself his life was better here, even going so far as to propose to his girlfriend. his father held on for two more years before he died due to complications of his illness. 

{ tw: terminal illness } even from beyond the grave, rue’s father found ways to ruin every part of him that tried to be happy. during a harmless, unrelated appointment with his doctor, he mentioned in conversation that his father had recently died due to complications from huntington’s. looking back, he is grateful that he did, as he learned that huntington’s is passed genetically. they started testing right away, but the results were not what they had hoped. while he currently showed no noticeable symptoms, rue was all but guaranteed to suffer the same fate. six months later, the tremors started.

{ tw: depression, abuse, cheating } suddenly faced with the idea of his own mortality, rue began to spiral into a deep depression, spending almost all of his time with the animals at work. they were the only things that kept him going, and his fiancée really didn’t like that. when her controlling, manipulative ways failed to force his attention back onto her, she began to seek it elsewhere, armed with his inheritance. his father had been smart with the large some of money he got in the divorce, and had tripled the amount by the time he died. she spent it partying, sleeping around, and spoiling her lovers. rue didn’t care, nothing mattered to him anymore. a year and a half after he got the news, she moved out of their apartment while he was at work. it took him three days to notice her gone. 

losing his fiancée was the best thing to happen to him, and he was suddenly free. nobody tried to control him, nobody cared where he was or who he was with. he began to slowly come out of his shell, enjoying what it was like to be twenty-seven and single for the first time in 8 years. finally able to explore his sexuality safely, rue really came into his own. of course, it wasn’t perfect. he ended up in his ex’s bed a few too many times for his own comfort, but he just couldn’t help himself. she always knew exactly how to push his buttons until he was putty in her hands.

{ tw: abandonment of a child } he thought it was just innocent fun, what exes do. then one evening he came home to a car seat on his doorstep. inside was a baby girl, only a few weeks old, and a note with his name on it. he recognized the handwriting before he even opened it, mentally counting the months since he’d last seen her and not liking the answer. it was definitely possible. even still, he took the baby to the hospital. after many unsuccessful attempts to contact his ex, both by himself, the hospital, and even her own family, rue now had a baby. he had never even wanted kids. 

even still, he loved her. more than he had ever loved anything. his ex had named the baby after herself, but he couldn’t bear to call her that. so, he adopted the nickname lizard, and it stuck. he wanted to give her a better life than he had, but in order to do that, he needed to start taking his health seriously. so, he packed everything up, and moved to new york city. he didn’t care much for the big city and wasn’t a fan of raising lizard without a backyard, but they had the best doctors to treat his disease and he had to try. 

he’s been in kingsboro for about two-ish years now, and has been raising lizard on his own. he works two jobs to support her, days at a wildlife clinic and nights as a bartender, and even then still tries to find time to perform his music as much as he can at bars and clubs around town. he’s multi-talented, skilled in a number of instruments allowing him to easily slot into any empty role. he hasn’t slept since lizard came around and his love like is disappointing, but he is a really good father, and would give his life for his daughter. and, even if it’s three bites and a kiss goodnight, he is home for dinner every single night, without fail. 

[drabblesanddreams]

Sun- Dazai Osamu x reader (2/3)

Hey everyone, i literally just wrote this rn as i wanteed to get it up for Dazai’s birthday! Its Dazai’s point of view towards you in ‘moon’! A third part will be coming out in what happens at the end :)) You dont necessarily need to read the first part but if yall want to than its here. ill prolly edit this later

Part 1       Part 3

**UPDATE** edited!! im so sorry yall had to read that..thing before lolol it sucked ass im sorry

word count: 1.5k

warnings: none

summary: Dazais thoughts towards you

Dazai remembered the night he left the Port Mafia. More specifically, he remembered the night he left you. 

But he also remembered the first time he met you.

The memory of you resurfaces in his complex mind, your visage crystal clear like the waters of the lake outside of Yokohama.

His mind is always so sharp, so easy to grasp onto any ideas or concepts and store them away in his head, like a filing cabinet. It was one of the perks of his intelligence he supposes. So, when he shuts his eyes, let his eyelashes flutter and focus on the meeting that occurred between you two 8 years ago, the memory comes easy.

He remembered you standing before Mori, a mere child that was certainly younger than him. You stood beside an older woman, Dazai correctly assumed at the time that she was a relative of sorts judging by the similar features. You barely spoke a word and stood quietly for almost the entire meeting between the woman and Mori. As Mori’s prodigy, Dazai was usually around him especially after the death of the last Port Mafia’s boss.

It turns out this woman was bartering for her life in exchange for an object, and it turns out you were that object. She spoke of your ability, the possibilities and uses of it. In the end, Mori had agreed to the deal and decided to take you in. 

After all, another member was not a bad thing and if you proved to be a hindrance, you’d just simply be eliminated. Your relative was clearly happy at the outcome, but it didn’t matter that much seeing how Mori had her killed not long after the meeting.

You were such a meek and small child, Dazai couldn’t understand what use you’d be.

Dazai quickly lost interest in you, finding you to be another example of the basicity of the human race. Your actions were predictable, your reactions, your movements, you were just another piece that had been added to his chess board, a pawn if he’d like to name you.

Dazai didn’t see you for weeks afterwards, or perhaps he did but you quickly blended into the background with your quietness. 

The next time he saw you, you were sporting a bruise across your jaw, no doubt a result from training with your mentor. Everyone had just been exiting the meeting that had just taken place when someone called something out to you, your back had instantly stiffened.

He remembered watching you turn around to see who had said the mindless comment. The man who delivered the comment smiled smugly at your reaction, before continuing his words that hinted towards your weak and amicable nature.

 The emotion flashed across your face openly, a tightening of the jaw, furrowed eyebrows and clenching fists. Dazai thought you were just going to continue walking and so he almost turned away.

 That was one of his first incorrect judgements about you, because not a second later you knocked the man down and started delivering punches to his face. 

Of course, your attacks barely lasted as the man had quickly overturned the situation, seeing as he was older and heavier.

Dazai had witnessed this with a single thought, just how far could your kind nature be pushed, and if so, what are the most severe consequences that could arise from you snapping.

For the next several months that followed, he developed a friendship with you, at least that’s what you thought. He knew you were completely wrapped around his finger, seeing as you really didn’t have any other friends. 

Children were easy like that, he thought, you just had to give them the slightest taste of belonging and they will latch on for however long you need them to be.

Dazai knew his actions were wrong, but his sadistic nature always won, and he didn’t really care for what was right or wrong back then. It took nearly a year for you to put the pieces together, and when you did you were hesitant to ever talk to him again. You were fearful of him, Dazai supposed.

What he didn’t expect was that not long afterwards, you continued to stick around him. At that time, something shifted in you no doubt a consequence from the lessons from your mentor as well as Dazai’s influence. You were quickly learning that if one had to survive in the port mafia, you had to be deceitful and smart. No one was better at that than himself, so you quickly developed a not so secret admiration towards him.

The following years that followed were ones where he took careful observations of you. You clung onto strong beliefs and always answered injustice with the justice that was supposed to be carried out by the port mafia. 

Dazai quickly realized you were a contradiction, your determining in what was right and wrong was not necessarily what was inherently right or wrong. Sometimes you killed people who were more innocent than the ones you let roam free.

When you met Chuuya, Dazai didn’t realize how possessive he really was of you. The two of you always bickered like siblings and Chuuya was always opposite at showing affection towards you compared to himself. 

Dazai was always careful about his actions. He would draw a blanket over your unconscious body when your ability had lulled you into a deep sleep.

 If something was bothering you, he would manipulate everything behind the scenes so that you weren’t any longer. Advice he’d deliver to you contained words that had an underlying meaning that you were learning to pick out. 

Chuuya, on the other hand, would swing an arm around your shoulders, openly ask if you were hurt and would ruffle your hair annoyingly.

Dazai hated that you were so easily affectionate in return.

He also didn’t realize how much you had grown on him, how he always found something interesting about your nature every day.

It was until he was having one of his break downs that something changed between you two.

You grabbed his wrist, effectively halting his movements. his laughter ceased then, a defining silence overtaking your surroundings. Dazai let the smile slowly fall off his face and all that was left was his blank, cold stare.

The darkness in him was forever present, nothing could change that. It swallowed him up openly and left him aching for something that he couldn’t name.

 Dazai couldn’t understand, he probably wouldn’t understand ever the futility of his entire existence. He committed many crimes his time in the mafia and it seemed as if his perpetual sentence was to ponder his place in the world. He clearly couldn’t find it in the mafia.

Letting his faraway gaze linger forward, you stepped around his arm and stood on your tip toes. This movement did nothing to break his stare as you paused your own movements for a moment, observing him. Licking your lips, you reached forwards and wrapped your arms around him.

Being careful to not hold him too tight, you felt his body stiffen briefly before feeling his right arm come back down to his side.

 The gun dropped to the ground with a clang and you squeezed your eyes tight before opening them again. Then, you felt Dazai wrap his own arms around your petite form, squeezing tightly as if you might disappear into thin air.

 His head buried itself in the crook of your neck and you let one hand card through his hair gently.

The last few years that followed, an unspoken thing that occurred between the two of you. Nothing was ever said or done between the both of you but you both had a mutual understanding of sorts. 

It didn’t matter what girl he took to bed; you were scorned upon his heart.

His subtle affections towards you developed into a duty of care. So the night his world had turned upside down and he left the mafia, he decided not to take you with him.

Not only were you beginning to be dangerously attached to him, but you would also be in more danger than him if you left. He knew that as he was still trying to figure his place in his world, you were going to have to as well.

But this was something you had to do without him. 

The contradiction and lies you lived with the desperate clinging of your kind nature had to be resolved by you alone. The port mafia was no place for a personality like that so you either had to change or leave on your own accord.

Seeing you now, with that barely hidden shocked expression caused Dazai to feel a twinge of some emotion he hadn’t felt in years. Your hair had grown out considerably, you were taller now as well. But the guarded look in your eyes accompanied by the bags under your eyes and careful stance told him what choice you made in the end. Dazai let his eyes meet yours,

“Hello, (y/n)”

[roxannepolice]

But yah rey as a character is just so frustrating you know? Cause like, yeah sure she could be complex with a powerful arc where shes forced to come to terms with the fact she wasted years of her life on self-imposed delusions in a cathartic way, or she could be a flat piece of marketing cardboard which Disney is banking on vagina+superpowers=profit without having to go through that persnicty character flaw overcoming or the like. Because like you said, hearing shes a nobody (which ngl, her assuming she was a somebody wasn’t really ever supported in tfa, just that her family was coming back and she desperately wanted them to) is apparently the worst thing but it changes absolutely nothing, not her approach, not her demeanor , if vaguely sad is the absolute worse a character is gonna experience in a goddamn space opera then yeah, full offense ill take the l on Mary sue discourse but her character will definitely be a boring ass wash. We all make fun of whiny new hope Luke but him being a kinda nuisance to both the audience and those around him is what made is transformation into full blown Jedi knight so powerful. With Rey so far what weve got is badass perfect cinnamon roll finally get her due as such, which is clearly working for some people, but I fail to see how that isn’t spectacularly tone deaf to make a protag in this genre such. Operas about drama, not patting you on the back. Rey (assuming she remains as is) would’ve been fine as a protag s the only piece of Star Wars media we ever got was a new hope. But rn she a chosen one architype (and I know that bunch of ppl are gonna go but the series ‘but shes not the chosen one, Anakin still is, the new series isn’t trying to make her one!’ but lets not beat around the burning bush, if u got a character that walks on water and the reason why is because god said so, ur dealing with a chosen one trope and if a character is star wars is made ultrapowerful in lore breaking ways because force said so? Yeah were dealing with a chosen one.) when we had both the deconstruction and the reconstruction done. Shes a straight hero when the success of the ot rest on hitting the formula near perfect the first time. What exactly is Rey, the individual character, bringing to the table? What makes her story supposedly so important the a perfectly good ending had to be made invalid to tell it? A bunch of ppl will say heroines’ journey! But if that’s the case I gotta say, wheres all the feminine shit? Im serious, if the heroines journey is reintegrating the feminine and realizing ‘oh shit mom had a point’ there where is both the feminine skills/coping mechanism and the mom? I mean I saw some ppl arguing for leia in a ‘reys Persephone!’ meta (she isn’t, you can make a much better case for ben himself as Persephone to be quite frank, yall are focusing so much on the trees ((girl gets abducted by guy)) that u forgot the forest existed, the actually story ((girl winds up queen on the underworld, well gee whiz which character just took control of that after leaving the world of living and a grieving divine mother behind, it’s a mystery apparently) behind, it’s a mystery apparently) ((but seriously though even if we hope for dark rey does anyone assume its gonna be taking control of a dark/dead coded org at least partially at this point, do you, do you really??). but given the fact she had what, one line of screen dialogue that’s breaking ur arm with that stretch. As far as skills go I guess you could make an argument for scavenging, but if that’s the case dlf did a shit job of conveying that as female-coded. Everything about rey in tfa seems deliberately androgynous, and yeah, she had her hair let down/mascara moment, but that’s tied to her ‘failure’ on the supremacy thus something nw.SPEAKIGN OF FAILURES ON THE SUPERAMCY AND LACK THERE OF. I find it kind funny that bunch of reylo bnfs (you know who they are) are all ‘hur dur fanboys/antis are dumb and don’t get story structure.’ And then going, ‘why are yall asking how/assuming rey fucked up in throne room/climax of her story in the second portion/darkest point of her character arc? Why do you hate women/ur own ovaries so much?’ because it like walking into a prefurnished house and being told by the relator ‘HERES THE LIVING ROOM’ and having no damn couch. It’s a living room, I expect a couch here. And in a movie where it’s the low point of a character arc and they drag puppet yoda out to tell me the movie is about failure, I expect a damn failure in whats clearly the climax of the characters arc for this movie. As it stands now there are three possibilities imo. 1st, rey had no failure, she is the pure badass maid o light ppl want and every inch the boring cardboard she is accused of by fanbros, remains static, and is relegated to an also ran to benlo taking the most compelling character trophy this trilogy in 10 yrs2nd possibility and the one im hoping for, failure speech wasn’t just thematic explanation but also foreshadowing, rey fucks up big and dramatic in a way that makes her manage to stand out as unique with both her contemporaries and her predecessors(last part, if its ever to much lemme know pls im sorry i just gotta get it out) 3rd and most likely possibility, rey isn’t the main character, benlo is and that’s why his failure both moral in the throne room and logistic on criat take center stage for the last third or so of the movie. Rey is merely a pov character to tell the dramatic villain protag story they wanted and have their very marketable unproblematic Disney heroine cake too.

Ok, so this discourse kinda died down by now, but thanks to that it’s possible to maybe have a calmer look at it I’m totally not trying to justify my late response.

Anyway, the good result is that quite recently my brother, who’s not overly taken with Rey - or the sequels in general, for that matter - said something which really stuck with me as a possible crux of the problem: 

She’s neither comical nor tragical. Just bland. 

This neither comical nor tragical really struck me. And the more I though about it, the more it was appearing to me that this qualm really applies to the sequels as a whole. The thing is that DLF are essentially telling a straightforward story that they’re trying to make captivatingly convoluted. And not just make, but keep this appearance over four years. And this is... a narrative teeth crasher. Like, when you’re honest about the endgame (in the context of the most structural meanings of comedy and tragedy), you can maintain a decorum, though you can also play with it, of course, whereas when you don’t want to be honest about the endgame, you end up mixing the styles somewhat messily. You can’t break or discuss with the rules without acknowledging them, so to speak. Because the originals were honest about the happy/hopeful endgame (the first episode is title A New Hope ffs), they could allow themselves deeply tragic moments like Larses’ deaths, Han getting frozen, destruction of Alderaan, etc. Because the prequels were open about being a tragedy, they could allow themselves lighthearted comic relief for the sake of lighthearted comic relief. 

The sequels... badly want us to consider the possibility of FO winning and Ben dying unredeemed while simultaneously insisting we root for those things not happening, while appearing conscious we’re definitely not buying the former and the latter only somewhat. And it’s tiresome. Dishonest. And indeed, bland. If the story is a tragedy it will be a bloodcurdlingly real one, if it’s a comedy it will be a borderline grotesque one. 

But yeah, returning to Rey, I guess as the main character she’s a lens which focuses the above problems. A very bitter tragedy of what her parents did t her prevents her from being comfortably comical whereas whoohooos I like thats and prancing like a husky on red bull over idols and visions because it’s for children so it must be hopeful prevents her from being intriguingly tragical. So I guess the intentioned effect was tragicomism but, from pov of an engaged casual fan that is my bro, it’s neither. 

As far as Rey’s heroine’s journey lacking some of the usual elements, I blame it on Disney being... a bit too ambitious, maybe. I think they tried to make a heroine’s journey that isn’t ostentaciously seeped in traditional feminine/masculine traits, maintains the structure without what could be called accidentals. On the one hand, I would point out that hero’s journey has pretty much desexualised itself over time, we are rather accustomed to “shero’s” journeys, but on the other... maybe Disney set out on a too novel a territory and may crack their teeth on it, alongside trying to out-Vader Vader at redemption. To elucidate, “toxic femininity” in which a heroine is supposed to find herself in the beginning of her journey, in Rey’s case is uprooted from any of our usual concepts of feminine-masculine social roles (it’s space, duh). My interpretation is that Rey’s version of toxic femininity kind of exists in contrast with Kylo Ben’s version of toxic masculinity - and since the apparent focus of the story is the attitude towards the past/parent figures, toxic femininity would mean her clutching onto the past. Which is why I predict that some act of IX will find Rey inebriated with apparent success in masculine world, meaning she’ll be the one rejecting the old gods this time - and I would point out that panel in Poe comic where she shows herself more sceptical towards idolisation of past don’t mind me, I’m just expressingmy trash dreams for a proper sith lady Rey.

Then again, Rian Johnson said she already found perfect balance between Luke’s clinginess and Kylo’s rejection of the past, so... idk, maybe I’m giving DLF too much credit again.

As for the Persephone thing, I guess the rub is that this reylo reading focuses less on the traditional reading of the myth (where Demeter is the actual main character and Kore is a Princess Peach MacGuffin) and more of an interpretation of it as one of the eldest (at least in Europe) versions of story depicting a transition of a girl into a woman, making Persephone more of a protagonist. 

Like, y’know, this Persephone (D. G. Rosetti, source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Proserpine_(Rossetti_painting))

I’m no expert, but myths can lose their original meanings because of power relations (anyone still remember about Dionysus, the god associated with excessive drinking, going through a very Christ-like death and resurrection?) and I think it’s possible that this is the case with the story of Persephone becoming a pre-scientific explanation of seasons changing over the year. So teah, that’s how I always understood the Persephone theme regarding Rey.

But yes, I must agree that I’m confused about Disney’s handling of the mother figure, which... Look, SW became a legend of a modern myth because of how epically Lucas handled the hero dealing with his very explicit father. So yes, I don’t understand what exactly is their game with Rey Nobody from Nowhere in this regard. It’s one thing that they had a cool idea with giving her no lineage, another that parent figures are an essential element of archetypal journeys and from symbolic viewpoint the case of a female character the biological relationship is even more crucial than in male’s. And I swear to all the ewoks and porgs in the galaxy, I do hope Disney’s idea of Rey healing the mother/daughter divide isn’t through her healing the divide between Leia and Ben. Again, this isn’t the idealistic sphere. Just... no. 

Anyway, I still maintain hope (this whole meta blog is built on hope) that Rey will indeed turn out to have a proper personal mistake which will make her stand out in the saga. I do have to admit, though, that I find your last theory very likely. I mean, even when I read all the reylo metas going oh, Rey is going to have such an exciting arc in IX, she has so much to deal with though of course it’s not going to compromise her morally, it will be sooo exciting, I just... f*ck’s sake, what you’re describing isn’t a dramatic character only a dramatised role model. It’s great if that’s your thing, but don’t claim it is space opera-worthy, in operas people drown themselves because of cursed sailors, kill over a break up, decapitate over a bad dream and get dragged to hell over a dinner, not persuade their fallen lovers to change their ways, let alone patienly wait for them the understand the error of their ways (and if they do it’s doomed to end in someone dying).

[faunusrights]

‘AFTER THE FALL’ - LIVEREAD II

Part I (prologue to chapter three) here!

According to other people reading this alongside me, I have yet to even see the true extent of how, um... interesting some of the characterisations are? So, we can only do one thing: keep reading, even though I’m relatively sure the corpse of a sizeable moth was batted onto my copy :I

We’ve reached chapter three, and only now do I realise what a considerable chunk of the book that is? Blimey.

CHAPTER THREE

/gets six lines in /shuts the book

Look, I said I wasn’t gonna say it because we know I hate it but ughghghgh I hate canon Velvet soooooo muuuuuuuuuuch she’s SO boring I’m SO sorry but GOD--

Okay. Okay. Moving on. Yatsu is our narrator now so let’s hear how he sounds!

“Ash started crying and crying and crying--”

I know it’s inevitable that most names I picked for OCs will crop up elsewhere but... Ash? You tryna take Ash “Bottom Energy” Scarlatina away from me now? Can’t I have anything?

So, it was mentioned that apparently a recurring thing I’ll be seeing in this novel is Yatsu and Velvet being hitched together on the character development front, and honestly, I can see it happening here. They’re being made into one sort of unit and Yatsu keeps calling attention to that, which isn’t... great, ‘cause I’m kinda hoping we’ll see more individual development? But the current consensus is that It Ain’t Happening, so we’ll See, I Guess,

Okay, I love that Velvet makes spreadsheets on her Scroll. I deeply enjoy her making chats to keep track of stuff, because honestly what a mood that is.

‘Yatsuhashi whirled around in confusion, but Velvet was gone. He didn’t like losing sight of her; what kind of trouble was she getting up to now?’

Predictably, I don’t like Velvet being babies in any sense of the word, but I do like that Yatsu’s first worry is what trouble can she possibly fucking cause now? Velvet and her high chaos energy, whomst I Adore,

Also what the fuck is a breadfruit.

‘Professor Greene’s Stealth and Security class--’

UGH I wish we knew more about the classes they took in Beacon. Do you know how hard it is to write an AU in which the Fall of Beacon never happened and having to pull classes outta your ass? It’s HARD, Y’ALL,

Yatsu’s Semblance is... making people forget things? That’s. Weird but alright??? Sure??? Whatever???

Me, every time Velvet snaps: why is it I only get the Velvet I’m after when she’s being such a bi-- oh wait I have a type sorry continue as you were,

But actually God I miss chibi!Velvet pour one out for the cancellation y’all

“This is bad,” Yatsu said sadly.

Me to myself: I know it’s not good writing I know and you know but don’t say anything just move on--

Okay before I move on, I’m definitely seeing a lot of that Yatsu/Velvet hitching, and makes me Nervous because I love Yatsu and I love Velvet but I also love them separately so I’m holding out hope that they get split up at Some Point because they really have been written together pretty much the whole way, huh? 

CHAPTER FOUR

OKAY CHAPTER FOUR LET’S GO LET’S GO

It’s Fox time, and we’ve got an introduction to Copper, Fox’s mentor (someone mentioned it’s totally a 'The Fox and The Hound’ reference). And-- ah, he’s dead. That was quick.

‘Velvet sometimes let her feelings get the best of her, Fox thought.’

You think that’s bad? You should meet murpverse!Velvet, that bitch has never held a thought in her head for more than five seconds.

I’ll confess I’m now reading pretty far ahead before I have any commentary of note. I’m enjoying Fox’s narration far more than anyone else’s by a pretty considerable margin, and it’s probably ‘cause Fox -- despite saying literally nothing in canon -- saw a lot of people reach the same conclusion to his character? So this one is much easier to settle into. Also, maybe it’s ‘cause he was such a blank slate that the writing works better for him. I dunno.

Story-wise: Edward is-- okay, actually, side-tangent: Edward? We seem to really jump in and out of the colour scheme, huh? Anyway, Edward’s a shady mfer and LET VELVET DO SHIT ON HER OWN!!!!!! LET HER BE A DUMBASS OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!

‘That was the last time he;s underestimate [Velvet].’

Told ya, dipshitte.

Ooh, everyone’s Angery about Everything. Seems like the Mood Bombs are also more passively AOE than just being a Sudden Boom, because everyone’s got a MUCH shorter temper? Then again, mine would be Non-Existent in a desert to begin with, so maybe they’ve all got sand up their butts. Also, Gus is to blame for the Mood Bombs anyway! That’s a big F, kiddo.

CHAPTER FIVE

Flashback to the dance!

Awh, Ruby made her own outfit and cape. Li’l seamstress! Oh, dang, do you think Summer taught her? Or, at least, showed her how her cape was made? Aaaaa--

Lien remains... weird. I thought it’d be closer to a currency rate like Yen to the dollar (so thousands are worth much less), but the implication here is that twenty Lien is more like $20? The currency here is very weird and even I’m at fault for flip-flopping on it, but I honestly expected it to be more like Yen. Huh.

Coco likes Ruby’s outfit look at that senpai GO.

Oh, okay, so they met at the dance? For some reason, I thought they’d already been acquainted? I thought they mentioned that team CFVY were away in the show (and therefore knew them at least in passing) but apparently not.

Okay, so Coco’s dialogue is... weird? I’m not totally down for the voice the author’s chosen to give her, and the more I see of it the more I’m starting to notice it. That said, I can’t believe Coco has reeled off Ozpin’s whole speech for Ruby. I’d have forgotten three words in.

Still jumping back and forth on Coco’s dialogue. I’m not sure if I like it. Moving on.

Weiss is Big Bitch Supreme, I see. This flashback is striking me all wrong for some reason, but I cannot for my life of me say why.That said, Weiss unironically saying besties is the funniest thing I’ve read all week, so there’s that.

UGHHHHHHHHHHHH TIME FOR VELVET AND RACISM UGHGHHGHGHHHHGHGH IM GONNA GO GET LUNCH FIRST--

WAIT BLAKE’S THERE

WAIT NO I’M GETTING FOOD FIRST EVEN IF BLACK VELVET IS RIGHT THERE--

Okay I ate too many calories and walked my dog let’s do this before I have to take said dog to the groomer. On that note, I’m like halfway through the book already? This really is short as heck.

“You had something to say to me?” Velvet asked. The boy clamped his mouth shut.

Do ya? Bihh.

Also I LOVE that highlights from the initiation are playing so that Blake literally looks a thousand times more intimidating. I wish we’d seen more of that kinda thing in the show, with RWBY being the new hotshots and the dynamic they had with Beacon as a whole. But that would have involved not blowing Beacon up to fuck and then having the writers go ‘uh, what do we do now?’ so what the hell do I know.

OOUGH THIS BLACK VELVET,,, HHH,,,, MURPHY’S OTP IS HERE,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

“What should we do with him?” [Blake] looked at Velvet.

Kill him... and then... kiss....................................

“I don’t believe in fighting prejudice with violence,” Velvet said.

I wish y’all could have heard the sound I made at that. Canon Velvet you’re just so... soggy bread about this.

Blake shook her head. “that’s not how we deal with people like him where I come from.”

Blake yr so HOT... hey you should teach Velvet how you deal with people like him and then kiss. That said, are they talking about Menagerie there? Or the Fang? If it’s Menagerie, that’s even funnier because I love the idea of an idiot running their mouth and then having five families and a baby wail on them.

Blake hates dog-ears in their books. Bad news, asshole, it’s the BEST way to mark PAGES bookmarks are for the UPPER CLASSES who don’t realise BOOKS are TOOLS of EDUCATION--

Anyway. Moving on-- YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANG.

Yang beat the assholes up anyway I love her!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE HER!!!!!!!!!

CHAPTER SIX

Back with Velvet. Blessing or curse? Who knows.

Edward and Gus make for an. Interesting duo. This plot hasn’t captured my interest crazy well, and if I didn’t know this was RWBY and such I’d probably pass on it ‘cause it’s pretty... eh, but I do like their Semblances and this could’ve been a pretty decent side-plot thing in the show! Such as in My Hero Academia with, uh, whats-his-name... Eraserhead. I dunno. I’m thinking this was a good idea that hasn’t had enough space to breathe.

Emotions are Flying High and Whomst will be the first to crack like Egg? I am liking the method of raising tempers because everything’s a little sloppier and unpredictable! Also, that’s the end of chapter si-- what? Wait, chapter six was only ten pages? Yeesh.

For all in-tents and porpoises, I am tryna keep track of OOC moments, but having everyone be out-of-sorts is making is pretty hard to track. Rip.

CHAPTER SEVEN, I GUESS?

We’re with Yatsu again, and he’s talking about his Semblance to... make people forget shit! I still don’t know why this is his Semblance, or the use of it anyway, but whatever! I’m in this cart and the horse ain’t stopping until M+K says so!

I’m with Velvet here; why is she constantly being relegated to the backseat? Coco needs to fuckin’ get her shitte together on this front. Even Fox said earlier than he has to stop underestimating her, but they’re still doing it now.

OH MY GOD THERE’S A GRIMM JACKALOPE??? Holy shit I’m losing all of my marbles shouldn’t these guys have, like, other names????????????? No??? Okay!!!!

Battle scene. I’m not hot on combat in writing because I find it. Kinda boring. But it is what it is so I’m speed-running it.

And so ends chapter seven. I’m gonna stop here because. I want to! I feel like this story is very short and it could’ve already had more to it than this faffery in the desert, but that’s just me!!!!!! I guess!!!!!!!!!!! Next time: another flashback to the goddamn dance.

[rxcusant]

wow hey more peopled liked my hoshimeguri sora sketch than i thought so

Hey, who wants some context!!! and further rambling of the au!!! its all about traveling the stars and theres a dragon and everyone has beautiful designs and my faceclaim is an assassin in it

[its a little long tho because of the Lore (TM) so uh. fair warning]

Hoshimeguri, or Star Tour Observer, was an original event and storyline in IDOLiSH7 like 4 months ago? I think? anyway if you wanna get a little glimpse over everyone and the stars you can go right here but otherwise im gonna quick run thru everything cause i rly love hoshimegu (the PV is gonna pop up first you can either watch it and rock out to Hoshikuzu Magic or click out and skim thru everything)

the prologue for hoshimeguri is, as roughly translated,

in the beginning a myriad of stars crystallized into a form known as the ‘Star Gem’. The gem contained the power to grant any wish. People prayed to the Star Gem for blessings and obtained joy and fulfillment in their lives. People prayed to the Star Gem for evil purposes and brought about calamities. People grew covetous of the star Gem, breeding hate and resentment. The Star Gem that had granted millions of blessings had instead become a vessel for millions of curses. the Guardian of the Star Gem prayed for the Star Gem to be sealed away. The wish was granted the Guardian fell into eternal slumber. The Star Gem could no longer hold its form and split into six pieces. A single massive planet split into six with it. On the verge of sleep the Guardian created a being to oversee the worlds in his place. To journey across the stars, watching. the ‘Observer of the Stars’ bore witness to countless moments, countless stars, and countless lives.

so.. in less fancy speak, there was a Star Gem that granted wishes but people misused it’s power for Bad Stuff. the Gem’s Guardian sealed it away and the Star Gem split into six little gems-- and created the six worlds i’m about to explain-- and the Guardian pulled a ventus and fell asleep, but the last thing he did was make a cool dragon to observe and watch over life.

so this brings us to the six planets/worlds/stars one thousand years later!

First off-- Eterno! aka where I shoved Sora and Riku, ill expand on them later

Eterno is a desert star, covered in sand and sunlight. the planet Alba once waged war with Eterno to steal their sunlight a dozen years ago and drained the planet of its resources in the process. During the war the royal family disappeared so Eterno doesn’t have any ruler or security. Being a wasteland Eterno is considered a worthless star so nobody bothers or troubles it beyond some trading at the port.

Secondly we have Bestia!

Bestia is covered in dense forests and jungle, inhabited by several types of animals. The people of Bestia have beast blood and animal parts like ears and tails so this is basically the furry planet. the people of Bestia are looked down upon for this though. Bestia is home to a large trading port and many from starts all over come to trade in Bestian goods.

Next is Alba!

Alba is a star covered in darkness as the other planets block the sun’s ray from reaching them. Alba's main specialty is minerals and so bright crystals are their symbol. the former king invaded Eterno to steal their sunlight however the current king, Carnelian, regrets that war and would like to set things right between the stars.

Then we have Lama, the star of steel! i love Lama, two of my favorites are from this star!!!!!

Lama is a star with strong military power, easily overcoming the other stars in terms of strength. Lama is currently recovering from a long civil war between the former king and the people. The former king treasured military might and soldiers above all else-- in particular, those that could provide weapons for warfare. Anyone who couldn’t was subject to a life of poverty and servitude. Eventually the people rebelled an the civil war raged on for years. the prince at the time, Orion, with the help of an assassin, Erin, faked an assassination of the king (instead locking him up) and when the news reaches the rebel forces they called off their forces. The rebels had no issue with Orion becoming king since he carried out the assassin order and thus Orions peaceful reign as King began, working to rebuild relations between the people of Lama and the royal family.

next up is Sirenia! this is where i put Kairi, ill expand on that later.

Sirenia is blessed with water and canals everywhere. Every year they hold a festival to celebrate the rainy season. The people of Sirenia are relaxed and laid back because their star hasn’t been attacked or invaded in many years (with the former king using most of his power to essentially cut off Sirenia from the other stars with a magic wall, and trading was regulated). The residents love the arts and music and living life freely and creatively. The residents also practice in hydromancy, using water to predict the future and learning tarot cards and fortune telling.

Lastly is Mistero which i admittedly remember the least about

Mistero is a mysterious star but faith in the Star Gem is strong. There exists a large temple on the star however divine energy prevents people from entering. Mistero was the original planet before the planet and Star Gem split into six pieces. Its on this world that the Guardian, Vega, still sleeps. His attendant, Capella, still waits for him to wake.

aaaaaaand those are the stars! oh my god that took an hour to type. WELL SINCE THIS IS ALREADY REALLY LONG WINDED I’LL TRY TO KEEP THE AU WITH SORA AND RIKU AND KAIRI BRIEF EVEN THO IM SURE THATS WHAT YOU’D BE HERE FOR INSTEAD OF IDOL JUNK djfgnks

i dont have anything concrete but my current concepts are-

Sora and Riku grew up on Eterno together. Having known about the existence of other stars but always being too young to travel themselves the two decided one day to leave and explore them all together. Eventually the day came where the two of them snuck onto a ship, not entirely sure where it was headed. Once the ship docked on Sirenia Sora and Riku made a break for it, not wanting to be discovered as stowaways. 

Kairi lives a carefree life on Sirenia with her friend Namine and instructor Aqua. Aqua teaches the girls hydromancy altho Namine holds more of an interest in drawing and painting. Kairi however is extremely skilled in hydromancy and one day receives a sign about dual forces about to enter her life. She doesnt know what to make of the vague message tho and puts it to the back of her mind for a week maybe.

And then came the day she ran into Sora and Riku. the two of them stuck out like a sore thumb in their Eterno attire. Kairi warned them about how trade and visitors are carefully regulated and any intruders aren’t to be taken lightly. the boys apologize and explain they just wanted to explore some new worlds. Its with that Kairi agreed to help them out but only if they let her come with them, since life in Sirenia while carefree can get dreadfully dull doing the same thing over and over again. Kairi arranges passage under the guise of aiding other stars with her fortune telling and sneaks Sora and Riku onto her ship. 

And thats how the three of them began their own Star Tours ha cha cha

also side note i bet Vanitas and Ventus are brothers from Lama raised by xehanort to be soldiers in Lama’s military but neither of them are really Cool with this idea and probably just take off one day jdfhgkjf dont ask me what terra or xion and roxas and axel are doing because i have NO IDEA what star to put them on

yeah. thats the hoshimeguri au right now. //jazz hands; if you made it this far thank you for indulging me i owe you my life

[actualbird]

If the squip has control of Jeremy's optic nerves, and can stop him from speaking and moving, it therefore has control of most of his brain. Wouldn't that mean that he could just control hormones and keep Jeremy from being horny, or keep him from porn altogether, and still keep an exercise regiment, and not have to shock Jeremy? IDK much bout science and tech, but wouldnt that make the shocking useless? Squip is the smartest thing in existence, and therefore itd Kno,so was it for entertainment??

maaaaaan squipspeculation is interesting as fuuuuck and these asks are fascinating, anon. some thoughts on my end:

the old and defective conclusion youve got sounds plausible!! especially since these are squips that seems to be primarily sold to some random high school to really sad teenagers (im extrapolating from the fact that scary stockboy immediately knew that jeremy was gonna buy the squip just from looking at him. the payless seems to have a pretty defined demographic then). in the pre-mitb scene michael says “ever wonder what it’s doing inside you?” after his whole monolog on how advanced squips are and it’s honestly a really good point because squips sound awesome, so why is it in teenagers? and the success rate of squips doesnt seem very good either i.e. that one dude who ended up in the mental hospital, and then rich setting fire to the house. that doesnt look at all like success. the squips being defective is a neat solution. they end up with teenagers because theyre defective also they dont really actually do very well for the same reason.

if the squips werent defective, i can only speculate that the squip’s predictive factor is limited. it says itself in the script with “I must account for human error” but then again human error is ridiculously hard to predict. this goes for both external humans and the host maybe. 

then concerning whether or not the squip can control hormones, thats horrifying damn. but also. probably canon. working only on canon, the control of the squip extends to input senses (optic nerve blocking), movement (do you wanna hang), and pheromones (a guy that i’d kinda be into). brainwise, thats like a bunch of lobes or smthing and the hypothalamus down as Controllable for the squip. i dont know much about brains but there seems to be a lot thats still left uncontrolled yknow. i feel like free will and emotions is one of those things that are very Very hard to control, and so it constantly mucks up a squip’s perfect plans. 

concerning AIs, something i only know like uhhh 2% about, this post i recently reblogged comes to mind when you talk about the squip being the smartest thing existence. because. i dont think it is. im working on the assumption that a squip is a program designed to achieve a certain input goal. this post basically talks about algorithms that, when given a goal, find unorthodox ways to achieve that way. one part specifically cites examples of something fantastically called Destructive Problem Solving:

“Something as apparently benign as a list-sorting algorithm could also solve problems in rather innocently sinister ways.

Well, it’s not unsorted: For example, there was an algorithm that was supposed to sort a list of numbers. Instead, it learned to delete the list, so that it was no longer technically unsorted.

Solving the Kobayashi Maru test: Another algorithm was supposed to minimize the difference between its own answers and the correct answers. It found where the answers were stored and deleted them, so it would get a perfect score.

How to win at tic-tac-toe: In another beautiful example, in 1997 some programmers built algorithms that could play tic-tac-toe remotely against each other on an infinitely large board. One programmer, rather than designing their algorithm’s strategy, let it evolve its own approach. Surprisingly, the algorithm suddenly began winning all its games. It turned out that the algorithm’s strategy was to place its move very, very far away, so that when its opponent’s computer tried to simulate the new greatly-expanded board, the huge gameboard would cause it to run out of memory and crash, forfeiting the game.”

this entire bit gives off huge squip vibes. like literally just like:

jeremy wants to be popular -> if the entire student body is squipped he will definitely be popular. what do you mean mental health? that wasnt put into the parameters of the input goal. LET’S GET SQUIPPIN’. 

and, hey, in the end, jeremy did actually get popular and the girl of his dreams. so was the squip really defeated or was this all just one really bad (or good, depending on who you ask) case of Destructive Problem Solving?

i dont really remember what my point was with this answer. anyway, i hope somebody finds this interesting dfkjdfhkds. have a nice day anon!!!

[markhobz]

The Ugly Life of a Cinematographer

Ive been so busy here in Iran currently filming "Layers of Lies" that I haven't had a chance for a day off to take a look around as to whats been going on in my personal life. So many people inbox me on social media mentioning how much they would love to be in my position or joining me on set and doing what i am doing. I admit I absolutely love what I do and have been very fortunate to have had some amazing projects come my way. With all those people on the outside seeing my career as an opportunity for adventure, art and travelling around the world, they don't really see what the bigger part of this career choice has to hold.

I love what I do and you couldn't bribe me to change my field of work, this is what I live for. In saying that though there are some hidden truths behind the curtain of what really lies behind the life of a DOP or pretty much most people working in the film industry. What I am about to write below is based on my own personal experiences. But through my eyes and ears on my travels around film sets around the world, I think 90% of film buffs can relate to what is below. So for those who have always wanted to work in film or just want to take some insight into the life of doing film, here are some ugly truths about my profession.

9-5 DOES NOT EXIST

There is no such thing as a normal 40 hour week in this field. I don't recall the last time i had a 10 or 20 minute break every 3-4 hours. Its always been go go go. If regular hours or a routine is very important to you, than I would suggest you to move onto another career because it will simply NEVER happen in the film industry.

I think 95% of the time doing my job and making sure its done right means I need to put in extra hours, effort and energy to get the best quality results. Its always showing up early and leaving late. Even when I get home or to my accomodation when working away, im always having to do more research, pre-plan, run over pre-vis again and again and always checking out what the latest trends in the industry are just to ensure things are set straight and in order. Especially on lengthy projects like feature films I have to spend extra time in pre production with location scouting, prepping, pre-vis or ensuring the edit or color grade goes correctly for the story. Most of the time you do these extra chores with little or no extra pay and always during your own free time without any thank you's or recognition. This is where you just suck it up and push on through, as a true professional should.

The film industry is not a place where you can just sit and have things handed to you. If you are not willing to make sacrifices of your own time and you own schedules to further your career or skills, then honestly move on. 

NO REGULAR SALARY

I think this stretches across to other freelancers aswell. This is the roller coaster ride of this career choice which can be emotional. When it rains sometimes it pours, and sometimes it just spits a few drops from the sky. When work is coming in be grateful and stay busy as hell because you never know when the drought is coming or when the big project you have had lined up gets delayed and you've had to cancel all other jobs for its original scheduling. There have been months where 12,000€ comes in and then some months were 120€ is your best. There are some months where im working 7 days and some months where you are just baffled trying to pitch and score the next gig. Staying active is your only combat to this ride, and it can be emotional and nerve racking, maybe even give you a few grey hairs.

Consistency and stability does not exist in this career, so if you want it, im sorry you are in the wrong profession. There have been days where the money has just piled in like a flood and then some days where you are looking for the money under the refrigerator and questioning yourself, your life direction and you will be screaming with self doubt.

The thing that keeps me pushing through the tough times is staying active, and always trying to invest that time not just chasing the next job but investing the time into my own skills and development as a DP. Hard times pass, but as I said before don't expect that shit to be handed to you on a plate, you need to work your ass off to pull yourself out. If you give up easily, cant handle stress or take disappointments to heart, then keep on walking cause this job is full of disappointments.

RELATIONSHIPS

This is the most common ugly perk I have seen spread across the film industry. When you work 9-5 or just in the typical corporate world, people's stable lives create more predictability. In film this is not the case, well at least it hasn't been in my experience or from many others I have worked with from different cultures and countries.  

Choosing this freelance career means that when the work comes, you have to take it. There are times when you can say no to a job, especially the smaller productions, but when you are doing bigger lengthy projects that have amazing door-opening potentials and/or pay then you have to grab those opportunities. 

What does this mean? Having to cancel on family, loved-ones and friends, and if you are lucky, maybe you can re-schedule. Its always easy to re-arrange smaller engagements like dinner, drinks or going out for coffee, but for things like birthdays and vacations its much tougher. Especially for myself as I live in Finland and my family is back in Australia.

Since most of you reading are either the only one in your family/friends circle in the film industry or not even in the industry itself, then these outsiders have only experienced the normal everyday life of 9-5 or having the day for duties and nights for sleep. These people will find it extremely difficult to understand why you can never settle on set dates or have to always reschedule or cancel. Ive never been married, but have seen many divorces happen during lengthy projects, so if you intend to engage in marriage - from the advice others I have worked with around the world have told me you really need to find a spouse who is understanding and supportive with the amount of cancelations and rescheduling of family events, or even those times when you need to take that quick side job to get 3000€ because the past month has been dead quiet when it comes to incoming work. Most people just don't get it, they will always say "I don't care we made plans" or "cant you just move the day". 

But wait it gets better! When you work on a feature film or some higher end productions. Sometimes phones are not allowed or you could be in remote locations with no access to communication for days on end. Feature films are intensive with 5-7 days a week work, which always span 12+ hours a day and for a month or more. Its rare you get a day off, and when you do you still need to do some work to plan for the next shooting day or go over some plans with other production staff, and most of these tasks just have to be done. Even if you do find some hours to have a real day off, you'll have minimal energy and none of that energy to share with others. Every lengthy production I have been on I have seen divorces and breakups happen.  Your outside relationships with spouses, family or friends are put aside. I believe this is another reason why I think alcoholism, drug abuse, infidelity and divorce are common in the film industry, iv'e seen it happen to actors, producers even art department staff.

We do not live the traditional normal lives majority do, and this will affect those that are close to us. Remember those disappointments I talked about earlier, ask yourself this - are you morally ok that you are going to put those close to you into disappointment not just once but time and time again? If you are OK with that, then climb aboard the film industry train. 

IS IT REALLY WORTH IT?

So after reading all this you are probably asking to me "is it worth it?". Being that this is my passion and the love of coming together with a group of unknown people from around the world to create something visually amazing is one hell of an awesome kick for me. But hey this is me! life is about choices and this is the choice I made, and I am satisfied. Its all in the eye of the beholder and if you are ready to sacrifice your relationships, money stability and comfort of routine then it might be just possible this is for you. Of course there are some ways you can manage and minimise some of these negative perks to working in the industry, but once again its all about choices and how far you want to push yourself. I know some DP's who are quite comfortable shooting smaller productions in their own town. 

Any film buffs out there that would love to share their stories id be happy for a chat! I hope this opened your eyes to what really lies in my profession, its not just all cool camera gadgets and the glorious behind the scenes videos and photos.

[zoemurph]

to have a friend, chapter two: $40

on ao3 1

here we are again. hope everyone had a good october, mine was....something. sorry if the writing style/tone changes a bit throughout, i basically wrote this in two sittings, just two sittings with a month between them

warning: discussions of mental health, mentions of suicide/suicide attempts, suicidal thoughts, let me know if other warnings need to be added

enjoy!

Connor is starting to run out of places in town where he can be alone without someone in his family finding him. Zoe is a little too perceptive and his mother has eyes everywhere. It’s kind of creepy and Connor’s sick of it.

Still, they’ve yet to find him at the old elementary school playground so far. Maybe it’s because the playground is hidden behind the school and is surrounded on two sides by tall trees. Or just because it’s in the rundown part of town, abandoned until the town can think of something better to do with a building almost as old as the town itself.

Connor is pretty sure people have broken into the school before. There are definitely serious drug deals that take place under the biggest tree on the edge of the fields. But mostly it’s just empty.

Connor’s been here before to smoke. Yeah, he’s been the creepy teenager smoking on the swingset at three in the morning before. Who the fuck cares, no one comes by here to get him in trouble. But more often then not, he just comes here to think.

He sits on a swing and holds onto the rusting chains and just stares at his knees and thinks. Or dissociates. Or both. He can’t tell anymore.

It’s been a fucking day. He definitely hadn’t planned getting yelled at by Evan Hansen into his schedule.

For one, he didn’t think Evan had it in him. For another… Connor doesn’t actually know what he’d been expecting when he sat down in the computer lab instead of going to last period. Maybe that one thing in his life would be easy. He could apologize to Evan or something and they could maybe slowly make it seem like they were drifting apart or something.

Connor doesn’t know how friends work. It’s been years since he had a real one.

And Evan isn’t even a real one.

He walks the swing in circles, twisting the chains together until he can’t twist anymore, then lifts his feet from the ground. He lets his toes drag along the ground as he spins in slow circles, the chains groaning as they untwist.

He can still hear Evan’s voice in his mind, shouting at him.

I just jumped out of a fucking tree!

He tried to backtrack so quickly. Take back the truth he’d released to the world. But Connor saw it. There had been a moment of clarity.

That was Evan Hansen.

That singular moment of honesty says more about Evan Hansen more than he will ever say about himself. He’s awkward, anxious to a fault, and suicidal. He looks at the world and he doesn’t see a future. He sees in grays and muddled tones and doesn’t see something worth fighting for.

Or maybe that’s just Connor projecting.

The swing dips a little as it stops untwisting, moving back and forth with the remaining momentum. Sometimes, sitting on these swings, he feels like a little kid. Mostly he just feels out of place.

But it’s better than home. Home, where he has no bedroom door. Home, where his mom is desperate for him to get better but doesn’t know how to help. Home, where his father doesn’t want to face the facts or him. Home, where his sister has given up.

Home, which is a building and not much more.

Connor closes his eyes and rests his head against the old chain. Childhood doesn’t feel real anymore. It’s hard to believe he was a little kid. That he was happy. That he constantly didn’t feel like shit.

His entire life has been overshadowed and stained by his present. He wishes he’d been able to wipe it out— that he’d been able to wipe him out.

His phone buzzes in his pocket. Only twice. A text.

His other only calls. She leaves frantic voicemails and voicemails with forced cheer. Nothing else.

No one else contacts him.

Connor sighs and opens his eyes. The sky is starting to get dark already. As it gets closer to winter, night comes faster and god he can’t wait for the darkness to just swallow him whole.

Dramatic depressing stuff like that.

His phone buzzes in his pocket again. He leans away from the chain to pull his phone from his pocket. He squints at the overly bright screen as his eyes adjust.

From: (522) 114-8119 To: Connor      Im s o soryr I shoulnd t have  yelled a t you or said thos e things      And IM s orry that I ran out and tha t happend a dn

Connor stares at the screen. A few moments later, he gets another text.

From: (522) 114-8119 To: Connor      Cna  we talk tomorro w      After sc hool computer lba      IMs or y I can ttype righ tnow

Connor hesitates, fingers hovering over the screen. Part of him forgot he gave Evan his number. Part of him thought Evan would never try to contact him ever again.

From: Connor To: (522) 144-8119      its fine      and ok      ill see you there

—«·»—

Connor slams the front door to announce that he’s home. He doesn’t bother actually using his voice, he’s tired and ready to just lay in bed and stop existing for a while.

“Don’t slam the door,” his father says from where he’s sitting on the couch, reading a newspaper.

Connor rolls his eyes. There are only so many doors he can slam in this house nowadays. He’s going to take advantage of what he can get.

His mom leans out from the kitchen, a smile plastered onto her face. She looks tired, even though she’s trying not to. Connor knows better. As the cause of most of her stress and frustration, he absolutely knows better. “How was your first day back, sweetie?” she asks. And she’s trying to be so excited for him.

Cynthia Murphy is attempting to hold her household together with pure faked optimism alone. She is the only positive force in the family, but it’s wrong and plastic.

Connor shrugs and makes his way toward the stairs.

“Answer your mother,” Larry says. Sort of mutters, sort of uninterested sounding, sort of irritating.

Connor stops on the bottom stair with his hand on the railing and turns to look at his mom. “It was whatever.”

“Is that all?” She twists a dishrag in her hands.

He sighs. She probably deserves more than that. “It was boring. Missed a lot. I’ve got homework. Probably going to fail out of math. Lunch is still shit—”

“Language,” Larry mutters.

“And the guidance counselor only talked to me for seventeen minutes this time.” Connor glances to his mom. “So yeah. It was okay.”

Cynthia smiles again, a little less forced. “I’m glad. I’ll call you for dinner, see what you can get done, okay?”

Connor nods.

He’d rather not deal with dinner.

—«·»—

“How’s Evan?” is this first question Cynthia asks when Connor sits down for dinner and puts half a spoonful of tonight’s vegetable of the day on his plate.

“He’s fine,” Connor mutters. He needs to end this conversation as fast as humanly possible.

“That’s wonderful, he seems like a nice boy.”

Larry hums in agreement and Connor tries not to grimace. Zoe just looks bored.

“He’s…cool.” Maybe vague compliments will work until his mom gets tired of this line of questioning.

“You’ve never told us about Evan,” she muses. “You aren’t even friends on Facebook!”

Connor’s brain goes into panic mode because oh shit. Of course Cynthia checked Facebook, that’s possibly one of the most predictable things she’s ever done. Which— fuck, Connor definitely should’ve seen this coming.

“People don’t use Facebook anymore, Mom,” Zoe says flatly, staring down at her plate.

Connor glances at her and then does a double take, gesturing to her. “That.”

Cynthia purses her lips. “I still use it.”

Zoe flicks her gaze to Connor before looking back to their mom. “You know what I mean.”

“I can ask him if he has one if you want me to,” Connor says, because if this conversation doesn’t end he’s going to come up with some sort of escape plan and he does not have a good track record with those.

Cynthia smiles and, god, does Connor feel guilty. This better be worth it in the long run.

Connor goes to school like he doesn’t have to drag himself out of bed and force himself into the car. He pretends he doesn’t hate Zoe’s music choices or notice that she stops more suddenly than she has to. He just grits his teeth and focuses on the cookie cutter houses they’re passing.

He hates the suburbs.

“I have rehearsal today,” Zoe says when she parks the car. “Figure out how to get home or wait.”

Connor rolls his eyes and slams the door harder than he knows he has to. “I’ll walk,” he grumbles.

The thing about high school is that it’s boringly and horribly constant. It’s also just fucking awful, but it’s mind numbing and dull. Even if Connor actually tried, and he can’t exactly remember the last time he did, he would not be having a good time.

He’s pretty sure the only people who have a good time in high school are the people whose lives will only go downhill from here and the people who are fucking lying to themselves.

The bells are piercing and make him grimace and the awful rotating yet standard schedule is one of the worst things to ever happen to him. He hates seeing the same people in the same space every single day. He can hear Alana Beck talking his ear off about the factory system and how the American education system creates people who follows rules more than anything else as she conformed to the system and followed all the rules back when they were sophomores in a boring, standard english class that left Connor feeling tired and bored.

He stalks down the hallway, glaring whenever anyone gets too close. One of the few perks of being known as the kid who may actually try to kill someone. People leave him the fuck alone.

The last time he really did homework was the end of sophomore year. All he has to do is not fail. And that doesn’t require doing homework.

If Connor tried, he could probably be a half decent student. But Zoe tries hard enough for the both of them and he would rather just get high.

At this point, his biggest problem in school is staying conscious through the whole thing.

He spends lunch in the library, hiding in a back corner where no one ever goes and pulls a random book off the shelves and reads about someone he’s never heard of until the bell rings and he forces himself to go back to a class that makes his eyes glaze over as people discuss readings that he absolutely did not do.

Connor finds himself getting almost anxious as the end of the day nears. He’s not sure why, sure Evan wants to talk, but it can’t be that bad. Evan holds the cards at the moment, but they’re both in this mess together. The worst Connor can think of is Evan bringing Kleinman and Kleinman being…himself.

Connor stalls in his last class for a few minutes while everyone clears out. His teacher ignores him to talk to a student that actually tries and once the hallways have cleared a bit, Connor gets up and takes the long way to the computer lab.

The long way is away from the school entrance, meaning the hallways are almost empty aside from a few laggers. No one wants to spend any more time in this hellhole than necessary. With it’s annoying posters and rows and rows of never ending lockers that no one ever uses. They’re pointless, just there for show and storing things kids aren’t supposed to have on school grounds.

When Connor pushes open the door to the computer lab, Evan Hansen is awkwardly standing in the middle of the room, gripping the straps of his backpack in his hands.

Connor raises his eyebrows at him. “Hey.”

Evan takes a shaky breath. “H-hi.”

“So.” Connor drops his back on the floor and kicks it closer to one of the tables. “You wanted to talk.”

“I-I wanted to apologize,” Evan says quickly, “for yesterday because I didn’t mean to— I shouldn’t have assumed or, like, implied that you were, I mean, that you wanted to—” He shakes his head. “That you were. Using me? That was— I was…confused by— confused because of, of the timing but that doesn’t mean it was…okay.”

Connor crosses his arms. “Yeah, well, if I kill myself it’s not going to be fucking performance art.”

Evan winces.

“If my family is going to mourn something they’re going to mourn actual me, not the me some stranger makes up because my mom thinks we’re buddies or something even though we aren’t even friends on Facebook.”

Evan frowns. “F-facebook?”

Connor waves a hand. “Never mind. The point is, I was using you. Just not…like that. I am using you. Currently. Present tense. If…you’re still in?” He reaches into his pocket and pulls out another twenty dollar bill. He holds it out to Evan.

Evan stares at it. “Y-you still want to…to do this?”

“I have three choices,” Connor says. “One: we keep doing this and then slowly break it off. Two: we fake a big fight and never speak to each other ever again. Or three: I tell my parents it was a lie. Haven’t thought that one through yet.”

Evan chews on his bottom lip. “Okay.”

Connor raises an eyebrow. “You’re in?”

Evan nods.

“Good.” He walks over to Evan and shoves the money into his hand. He yanks his hand away and shoves it in his pocket before Evan can tell it’s shaking.

“W-why—?”

“It’s been a week,” Connor explains. “There’s your twenty. We agreed to that.”

Evan stares at the bill in the palm of his hand. “Um…right. Right. Do we,” he glances up at Connor, “are there…other rules? Or like? A plan or are we just…?”

“Winging it?” Connor suggests.

Evan makes a face. “Let’s— can we not do that? That sounds like a bad idea.”

“Okay fine. Rule number one, we don’t tell anyone else about this.” Connor gestures between the two of them. “If no one else knows, it’s easier to keep it a secret.”

Evan grimaces. “J-Jared will know.”

“What?”

“He— Jared can always tell when I’m lying, he’s-he’s really good at it. It’s…kind of scary, actually.”

Connor scowls. “Seriously? Are you that bad a liar?”

Evan shakes his head quickly. “We’ve just known each other— it’s been so long he can just…tell.”

Connor sighs. “Okay then. Can we trust Jared?”

“I wouldn’t say that.”

“We’re fucked.”

“I-I think…” Evan trails off.

“You think what?” Connor prompts.

Evan takes a breath. “I think…if we tell him an-and explain everything, we have a better chance of him keeping it a secret. Because then he— he’s included in it or something? Since he’ll figure it out anyway it might just be best to…to tell him right away.”

If someone has to know, Connor would not have chosen Jared Kleinman to be that person. But if he has to do it…

“Whatever,” Connor decides. “We swear him to secrecy and threaten to hurt him if he tells anyone.”

Evan tugs on his shirt. “Um…yeah th-that— okay.”

Connor rolls his eyes. “I won’t actually hurt him.”

“I knew that,” Evan mutters.

“We can come up with other rules on the fly,” Connor offers.

Evan opens his mouth and then closes it quickly.

“What?”

“I…” He shakes his head. “It’s nothing.”

Connor groans. “It’s not nothing! Just tell me!”

“I don’t know anything about you!” Evan bursts out. “H-how do we—? We’re supposed to be best friends? How long have we been friends? What do we do when we hang out? What if people ask us questions?!”

Those are good points that Connor hadn’t considered because he’s been doing this on impulse. Obviously, Evan has thought this through a bit more. Connor runs a hand through his hair. “Are you free right now?”

“N-not right now,” Evan stutters. “Later tonight?”

“You still have my phone number?” Connor asks instead.

Evan nods.

“Text me when you’re free, we can figure stuff out then.” Connor moves to leave. “If…you’re cool with that?”

“Fine!” Evan says quickly.

Connor eyes him before shrugging and turning away. “Okay. I’ll see you later then.”

“Yeah…s-see you”

—«·»—

Connor walks home from school, because Zoe is at rehearsal for another hour and he’s a.) not hanging around school for that long and b.) not spending more time in the car with her than necessary. It takes a while and his mom is still somehow worried about him crossing a highway, but he doesn’t care. The walk is strangely nice. Kind of calming and gives him some time to think. Mostly about Evan Hansen.

Knowing his mother, they’re going to need a hell of a backstory. She likes to dig until she hits rock bottom. And then she pulls out a pick ax and starts swinging.

“I’m home!” he shouts as he throws open the front door. He closes it and waits for the usual “how was school, honey?” to come from the kitchen before he starts making his way up the stairs.

“It was fine,” he answers. “Doing homework.”

Connor didn’t think either of them believed that, but whatever. He threw his bag onto the floor and kicked off his shoes before flopping onto the bed.

Now he just has to wait for Evan.

—«·»—

Connor wakes up with a jerk when his phone starts buzzing repeatedly. He rolls onto his back and pulls his phone out of his pocket, squinting at the screen as his heart tries to calm down.

From: (522) 114-8119 To: Connor      Im hom e      Sorry if htis is a bad item for you

Connor changes the contact name from the number to Evan’s name before he responds.

From: Connor To: Evan      its fine im not doing anything      can i come over yours?

Connor glances around his room, eyes settling on the doorframe. They definitely can’t do this here. He hopes Evan is cool with them sitting in an abandoned playground if all else fails.

From: Evan To: Connor      Thats fine!!!      You need my address don t you that would probably be helplfu

He keeps laying in bed until Evan’s sent the address and Connor has found it on Google Maps. He can walk, it’s not too bad.

The world spins a little bit when he stands up from his bed, swaying and darkening as the blood rushes from his head.

Connor stumbles out of his room and down the stairs, figuring he probably doesn’t need to bring anything with him to Evan’s. All they’re going to do is talk.

He glances at the time. Hopefully his mom doesn’t care if he skips dinner tonight.

Connor takes a pit stop in the kitchen and steals an apple from the bowl on the island on his way to the front door.

“Dinner is soon,” Zoe says pointedly from where she’s leaning against the counters.

Connor ignores her. “I’m going over Evan’s,” he says to Cynthia.

She looks up from the frying pan in surprise. “You are?”

He shrugs and takes a bite of the apple. “Yeah we’re going to…” he should’ve thought of an excuse earlier, “play a video game. Or something.”

Cynthia claps her hands together. “That’s great! Have fun and let me know when you get there and when you’re on your way back, okay?” She presses a kiss to Connor’s cheek. “And make sure you eat!”

“I will,” Connor mumbles.

“You don’t even know him,” Zoe mutters.

Fuck. He should’ve known Zoe backing him up last night was an outlier. Connor glares at her and flips her off.

“Zoe, be nice,” Cynthia says firmly. “Text me when you get there, Connor.”

He nods and leaves before Zoe can make any more commentary. He can only hope she doesn’t press it while he isn’t there.

Connor eats his apple as he follows the directions on his phone. Evan’s house isn’t too far, but it’s already starting to get darker and this town is shit, so the streets aren’t exactly well lit.

He stands on a street corner and watches a truck go by with complete disregard for a stop sign before he crosses the street and turns onto Evan’s road.

Connor pauses outside the house that matches the number and description Evan gave. He sends a quick text as he walks up the walkway to the front door.

From: Connor To: Evan      outside what i think is your house      gonna knock

Connor knocks once before the door swings open. He blinks in surprise as Evan stares at him.

Connor clears his throat. “Hey…can I come in?”

Evan steps out of the way. “Y-yeah of course you can— just. Yeah, take off your shoes here that’s… You can do that.”

Connor steps inside and takes off his boots as Evan closes and locks the door. “Parents home?” he asks.

Evan shakes his head. “No my mom’s— she’s working late tonight. Long night.”

“Dad?” Connor asks absentmindedly as he drops his boots by Evan’s shoes.

He looks up when Evan doesn’t answer.

Evan is staring at the floor with his eyebrows furrowed, picking at his cast.

“Oh shit, I didn’t mean—”

“I-it’s fine,” Evan interrupts. “He’s not here. It’s just— just me and my mom.” Evan gestures down the hallway. “Let’s just— follow me.”

He leads Connor into a kitchen, smaller and older than the one in the Murphy household. There’s a twenty dollar bill sitting on the table and a pile of dirty dishes in the sink.

“I-I don’t have any—” Evan shakes his head. “I have money to order pizza if…you want.”

“Maybe in a bit.” Connor leans against the counter. “I uh…never apologized for taking that letter, did I?”

Evan laughs awkwardly. “N-not real— I mean it’s fine! It’s fine it’s, it’s not a big deal it’s just…”

“What?” Connor asks slowly. “What was it?”

Evan takes a deep breath and tugs on the hem of his shirt. “I-it was an assignment for— for therapy.”   

Connor raises his eyebrows. “You go to therapy?”

“Yeah? I, um, I have… severe anxiety?” Evan gestures to himself. “And depression but that’s kind of— to a lesser extent usually? But yeah. It’s um…the letter— it’s supposed to make me more positive about my day? Uh, dear Evan Hansen, today’s going t-to be a good day and here’s why…” He trails off and glances to the sink.

Connor hesitates before he says his next thought. “My parents… They thought it was a my suicide note.”  

Evan closes his eyes tightly and opens them. “Uh yeah well, I-I mean it’s…it’s supposed to be a positive thing but it’s— it’s almost never a good day? In fact it’s usually a very bad day and the first day of school was a— it wasn’t…There wasn’t much positive in it. And Zoe, I— The letter was— It wasn’t meant for you it was for this assignment. And Zoe is— after you, you know.” Evan gestures to Connor and Connor tries not to grimace.

“Zoe saw me and-and she talked to me and she’s— Ihavethisreallysillycrushonher which is silly because I don’t even know her! The letter says I don’t even know her cause I don’t, she’s just— she’s a girl who’s pretty and nice and she smiles a lot and she doesn’t seem bothered by anything.” Connor raises his eyebrows. “She seems to have herself figured out and that’s— she’s just a girl I see sometimes and I guess that’s—”

Evan ducks his head. “She saw me and she helped me up. That doesn’t happen. Not— not to me.”

Connor looks away. There are a lot of things to process in that and his mind doesn’t want to process any of them. His eyes land on the money on the table.

“What kind of pizza do you like?” Connor asks.

“W-what?”

Connor steps forward and picks up the bill. “Pizza,” he repeats. “What do you want? I’ll make the call.”

Evan blinks a few times. “Uh…cheese is fine?”

“Cool.” He pulls out his phone. “Let’s see how much food we can get for twenty bucks.”

Evan gives him a weak smile. “O-okay.”

Connor paces around the kitchen as he places the order at the pizza place. There are places in town where you can order online, but their sauce isn’t as good and their breadsticks are shitty. Once he’s hung up, he sits down at the table and gestures for Evan to do the same.

“You wanted to figure things out, right?” Connor asks, tapping his fingers on the table.

Evan nods.

“Let’s do this then.”